#huddersfield fine worsted

[permanentstyle]

https://www.permanentstyle.com/2023/12/the-guide-to-tweed-bunches.html

The Guide to Tweed: Bunches

[gallusrostromegalus]

i woke up today and was assailed by a question that just wouldn't get out of my head, which might have even been answered before: are house hippos a thing in TPOFATGIF?

They are! Like Furbies, they're the result of attempts to use magic to create highly marketable pets, and like every single fucking time some idiot with a wand and a marketing degree tries this, they promptly escaped and became an ecological menace.

Fortunately, House Hippos cannot tolerate Canada's harsh winters, and the species is confined almost entirely to the (admittedly, extensive) Toronto Underground. Despite their diminutive size, the house hippo's aggressive and territorial nature has virtually eliminated their primary competition, invasive brown and roof rats, meaning that Toronto and Calgary alike are entirely rat-free.

The creation of artificial species without the highly supervised conditions of an internationally-managed laboratory is extremely illegal worldwide, with hefty fines and jail time for Negligent Species Creation, and Malicious Species Creation is an actual War Crime (See Also: Laws regarding Dungeon Creation). The law has never been a serious impediment to stupidity or hubris though, and about every other year some twit tries to make bespoke pets again. Results include the highly invasive and adaptable Furby, and it's terrifying cousin, the "Long Furby", the House Hippo, the 1983 "Thy Diminutive Equine" massacre, and England's worst cryptid, the brightly colored Ursine Psychic Vampires that roam central England after Huddersfield attempted to re-brand their old castle as "Care-A-Lot".

[dreamingbrownie]

Trick or treat!!!

dyou have a trick or treat to share? ᓚᘏᗢᓚᘏᗢ \(●'◡'●)

Hello there, thanks for stopping by! Oh, do I have things to share.

A trick, taken from a continuation of the Camelot AU y'all went a little feral over:

“Male remains of a high-status warrior uncovered at Roman fort near Huddersfield, West Yorkshire… believed to be legendary King Arthur.” Albus bowed over the papers like a man punched into the gut. The teacup ended up barely rescued from falling over the edge when he gripped the table so hard his fingers screamed in agony. “No. That is not – That’s not him. Merlin shoved Arthur so far into that godsforsaken lake with Avalon waiting on the other side, they could drain the whole thing and find nothing but wet soil under the murky water. And Yorkshire, that’s- That’s too far north.“

“Is it?” Gellert asked, very gently, covering Albus’ left hand with his own. There was something terribly afraid in his eyes, something as familiar as the howling rainstorms and the feeling of his magic washing over the splinters that Albus got into his fingertips. “How long did we take to ride as far north as we could before stumbling over that druid village? Three weeks, at most? It wasn’t a full moon’s turn. Had Camelot been any further south, we would have taken months to reach the Highlands.”

His attention was taken by the rest of the front page article and a photo of the open grave – poor taste at best, provocation for a well-deserved haunting at worst – so he stayed his tongue about the fragility of his own memories, a thousand and some four, five hundred years old, while Gellert rested his head on Albus’ shoulder. A mixture of that age-old rage, cold as iron, and desperation thick enough to cloy his throat shut against the scream trapped somewhere in his lungs made his hands shake when he turned the page for the full article. He had to read it three times for the message to sink in.

“Oh, those fools,” he muttered darkly, quietly, so he wouldn’t upend the table wholesale. “Necromancy in the service of archaeology? Wasn’t there an ethical code about grave openings last I checked?”

Gellert hummed deep in his chest. He was very warm at Albus’ side, a bit damp as though he’d wrangled the papers from some poor owl at an open window.

“There is a German saying for this sort of thing. Der Zweck heiligt die Mittel. Translated loosely… The goal justifies the methods. And they don‘t care for the person in that grave; how could they? Whomever they found – and I pray to all the old gods it isn’t His Majesty himself – it’s a skeleton to them now, one that gives information about a culture long lost. I can’t even blame the Prophet for running this on front page. Arthur always does excite the public, doesn’t he?” “Oh, did he ever,” Albus huffed, but his blood was on fire and a cold lump of ice settled into the pit of his stomach. “No matter whose rest they’re disturbing here, we have to see this ourselves. If they found what is left of Camelot –“ He looked up to find Gellert staring at him with something like flint in his eyes, cold and razor-sharp. Their hands found each other instinctually. Poets of the ages had called Gellert fair in complexion, pretty as a woman and yet he was anything but soft; his cheekbones were too pronounced for that, his shoulders broad and his hips slender. Little starling, Merlin used to call him. Gwaine found himself tripping over thin air more than once for naming him snowflake, affectionately so, teasing as ever, but honest, too: the gods had been sparing with colour when they created him in fine brush strokes. Albus cradled his cheek with a hand that wasn’t shaking anymore, but only just. “We did swear to come back.”

And a treat, taken from My Constellation 11:

With Paris at their feet, Gellert kissed him in front of Sacre Coeur. My sacred heart, Albus thought, overcome by the city lights twinkling like stars as far as his human gaze reached into the dark. The heavens were veiled once more. No guidance tonight. It really felt like they had time now. Solitary and isolated, far away from everyone they knew, there was a quiet pain in having to acknowledge that this resembled very closely what their far future would look like. Eventually, he was going to bury his brother and then, somehow, make peace with it. The future was coming no matter what. But at least… Albus exhaled a large part of the tension and let his shoulders drop. At least they were together in this.

“You know, I always wanted a forever home with you,” he confessed quietly in the chilly night silence. Gellert gave a high noise of surprise more than anything else. When Albus wrenched his gaze off the city below them, its lights were reflected in Gellert’s eyes. “Figures that it turned out to be Paris.”

Their hands were tangled together in Albus’ coat pocket to fend off the cold. The wind played with the ends of his scarf, a predictable Ravenclaw blue one which was complimented nicely by Gellert’s red one and the flush high on his cheek bones.

“You miss Hogwarts.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes,” Albus answered without shame, “of course. But it is a distant ache. Something in me died that night at the foot of the tower. I could not name it if I tried, but its loss does not pain me any longer. It did for a while, because it all happened so suddenly, and I felt… unmoored. Untethered. But it has brought you into a clearer focus for me, and I will forever be grateful for that.”

“Albus-“

He was so beautiful tonight. The early spring night blew rose-coloured kisses to his cheeks and his Mona Lisa smile was worthy of the old masters, though they would never have been worthy of such a muse as he. Albus loved him so, he could barely breathe with it.

“We talked about it so little that I barely know how you are dealing with our new life. We are throwing ourselves headlong into the work that needs to be done because that is what we have always done, but we cannot pretend…” He trailed off, searching Paris for the right words. “We have been given time, so I would be foolish to remain blind at such a gift even though Perenelle and Nicolas have sacrificed their lives for us. I cannot know if they were tired or whether they simply saw no other way out of a path down which Hogwarts would have fallen along with us. But they literally gave us their life. Tom Riddle is going to die while we are going to build this new life and live it. Together. So I need you,“ he said, a little desperately, “right here. I need you to talk to me.”

~~~

My main problem right now is that I rolled from writing Grindeldore for over a year into half a year of frolicking through the Witcher fandom, the Accidental Warlord AU in specific (look it up, it's glorious), the Merlin fandom combined with research into Anglo-Saxon England, from there I stumbled back into medievalism and thus into the Hobbit fandom thanks to watching the LotR movies for the first time in cinema and recently I fell right back into Grindeldore again. My poor hindbrain already bursting with university research is going a little insane over so many different ideas, and I have... too many wips. A big Merlin project which might be the darkest thing I've ever written is only lacking the final battle (I suck at writing sieges and I'm bloody stuck there and I hate it), Constellations 11 is finally edited, smoothed down and only missing the final chapter now too, and a few days ago I started writing out the idea how King Thorin would react to dear Frodo with Sam, Gimli and Legolas coming back home to Erebor from the destruction of the ring. Bilbo is Consort under the Mountain, obviously. And seeing as it was midnight when I pulled up the blank document, it's just three paragraphs of word vomit yet. This should teach you about fandom hopping. Scary stuff.

Do feel free to feel trick or treated yourself, dear readers!

[deoostbespoketailoring]

Black Watch Tartan Blazer: Een Uniek Statement

Deze op maat gemaakte double-breasted blazer, vervaardigd in het beroemde Black Watch Tartan van Abraham Moon & Sons, is een tijdloos symbool van elegantie en traditie. Ontworpen om te schitteren bij black-tie-evenementen in het Verenigd Koninkrijk, is deze blazer een expressie van verfijning en persoonlijke stijl.

Historie van Black Watch Tartan:

Black Watch Tartan, oorspronkelijk bekend als "Government Tartan," heeft een rijke geschiedenis die teruggaat tot het 18e-eeuwse Schotland. Het werd geassocieerd met het iconische Black Watch Regiment, dat diende als de koninklijke Schotse infanterie. Tegenwoordig is het een tijdloos patroon dat wordt gewaardeerd om zijn klassieke uitstraling en diepe historische betekenis.

Double Breasted Blazer Excellence:

Het double breasted model met 4 sluit knopen en peak lapels van deze blazer straalt klassieke elegantie uit. Het biedt een formele uitstraling die perfect past bij black-tie-evenementen. De patch zakken met klep en knoop voegen een vleugje onderscheidende stijl toe aan dit reeds indrukwekkende ontwerp. Uiteraard is het met de hand gemaakt op de persoonlijke maten en draagwensen van de opdrachtgever. De Flanellen broek: De Blazer wordt gecombineerd met een zwaargewicht zwarte wollen Flanellen broek met omslag. Deze broek op maat kan uiteraard ook seperaat van de blazer worden gedragen. De Flannelen stof is van de weverij Huddersfield Fine Worsteds.

Dresscode en Etiquette:

De keuze voor Black Watch Tartan is niet louter esthetisch, maar ook symbolisch. Het dragen van deze stof bij black-tie-evenementen in het Verenigd Koninkrijk geeft blijk van respect voor de tradities en het erfgoed van Schotland. Black-tie-evenementen hebben strikte dresscodes, en deze blazer past perfect bij de formele sfeer die daarbij hoort.

Uitstraling en Persoonlijke Stijl:

Het dragen van Black Watch Tartan straalt een tijdloze elegantie uit en getuigt van een diepe waardering voor traditie. Het patroon is klassiek en toch opvallend, waardoor je een stijlvol statement maakt. Deze blazer geeft je de mogelijkheid om je persoonlijke stijl te uiten op een manier die respectvol en verfijnd is.

Dit Black Watch Tartan double breasted ‘maatpak’ is niet zomaar kleding; het is een eerbetoon aan geschiedenis, traditie en persoonlijke stijl. Draag het met trots bij black-tie-evenementen en laat een blijvende indruk achter met deze tijdloze en unieke creatie. https://www.deoost.nl/maatpak-pak-op-maat-laten-maken

[lamilago]

At Lamilago we serve the most luxurious premium cloth to our clientele for their need on all bespoke garments and Thank you @dugdalebrosandco to give us their most amazing cloth collection to @lamilago . Dugdale Bros & Co History WE TAKE PRIDE IN OUR HERITAGE Our 124 year family-owned history means that we can guarantee authenticity. In 1896, Henry Percy and Frederick Herbert Dugdale established their cloth merchants business in Huddersfield, the centre of Britain’s fine worsted industry. Dugdale remained in the family for two generations, through prosperous times and perilous war years until it was later acquired by Keith Charnock and now chairman Rob Charnock. (at Dugdale Bros & Co) https://www.instagram.com/p/CjaCsEPpJbH/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[ub-sessed]

Me reading about the construction of the Huddersfield canal in the 1790s: "Why is that name so familiar?"

Me: *googles*

Internetz: Huddersfield Fine Worsteds is an internationally renowned fabric manufacturer supplying the world's biggest design houses and most prestigious tailors with superior and selectively-sourced fabrics.

Wikipedia: There were many woollen, worsted and cotton mills along its route which promised ample trade.

The Pogues: Their mark on this land is still seen and still laid / The way for a commerce where vast fortunes were made /

The supply of an empire where the sun never set / Which is now deep in darkness, but the railway's there yet.

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Monday 26 June 1837

7 ¼

12 ¾

very fine morning F59 ½° at 8 A- with me for ¼ hour till near 8 – out about till breakfast at 8 40 and sat talking to A- till 9 40 then out – with Charles Howarth making the glen bridge gate, and with Mr. Gray and Booth ordering about the brew house and then with Mr. S. Washington measuring off the stuff carted from the front of the house to the foot of the great embankment under the road wall in front of the house, and setting out another portion of stuff to be got – then with Mr. Gray at the meer – Mawson and his 6 men began this morning Mr. G-‘s job about the by-wash and undulating the top of the meer-embankment – with them till near 1 – Mr. G- came home to luncheon and I went by Lower brea and the new road to Mytholm quarry and then to Hipperholme ditto – nobody there – home by Mytholm – Holt and Wood the engineer came about the engine pit pumps – H- to have ½ the engine pit left clear – left W- to drink his beer in the servants hall and had H- sometime in the little breakfast room – Joseph M- asked an unreasonable price for sinking the engine pit – H- thought he should have £3 per yard from where it is to the bottom i.e. about 27 yards to sink – H- proposes making a sort of reservoir at the low side of the engine pit in the bottom so as to hold 12 hours water and let us stop the pumps going during the night – very good plan he shewed me an estimate from Joseph’s cistern of Huddersfield for a 6 horse power condensing engine £240 with boiler and £170 without – he and Mr. Holmes had had a sad dust with Holt the engineer – would never get an engine of Holt – he would not have to make theirs now – H- would by no means have me build the corn mill – sure it would not pay me – wait – a mere shell of a building for £500 would hold 15 worsted frames which would let for £20 per frame and 2 horse power (H- allowed) would turn 3 frames .:. 10 horse power would turn 15 frames x 20 = £300 a year more than the corn mill that would cost above £2000 – walked down towards the engine pit with H- to speak to Wood, to tell him that the back  shuttle was not included in Mr. Bates’s estimate of the pen-trough as I expected – this to be explained – it was mere inadvertence that I had not observed this when Mr. Pollett was here on Saturday – then in the walk pulling away or treading down the grass from among the hollies in the hedge against Pearson’s field and Charles Howarths’ till about 6 ½ then finding Mr. Gray with Mawsons’ 6 men. staid with them till after 7 – left Mr. G- to come in ½ hour – made my excuses to A- home at 7 ¼ - waited for Mr. G- dinner at 7 ¾ - A- and Little Mary and Mr. G- and I walked round the meer to its head, and came in again in an hour – then coffee – came upstairs at 11 – A- sat with me ½ hour then wrote the above of today – very fine day F47 ½° now at 11 ¾ pm  Frank brought tonight and left at the Lodge M-‘s box of books

[blackshoeblog]

Repost from @andymurphy333 - I absolutely dig these slippers 🎸🎸🎸!! ⁠ ⁠ Bespoke quilt linings from @huddersfieldfineworsted flash 3 ⁠ ⁠ Multi colours skulls with purple @hollandandsherrysavilerow velvet.⁠ ⁠ Guitars with navy @hollandandsherrysavilerow velvet. ⁠ ⁠ #amurphyshoe #London #bespoke #handmade #shoes #shoe #finefootwear #bespoke #fineshoes #leather #dapper #cool #menswear #slippers #linen #cloth #leather # cloth #wool #loafer#madeinengland #leatherwork (at Huddersfield Fine Worsted) https://www.instagram.com/p/CS_QDYhtu8P/?utm_medium=tumblr

[nomanwalksalone]

HEAVYWEIGHTS

by Alexander Freeling

Cold, like happy, is a relative term. Tell anyone from New York or Moscow that it was cold in Britain this year and you might get a pitying chuckle. But in a land without snow tyres or decent central heating, it was. At least, this is how I choose to explain my recent fascination with seriously heavy fabrics.

When the fog freezes at sunrise and sticks around all day, a 14 oz cotton is endlessly satisfying. Never mind that it’s is more commonly employed in tote bags than trousers. A good tailored trouser excels in the heavyweight range. It’s not just the extra warmth, though that’s certainly nice. They drape better. They last. And on a hanger, the sheer weight of each half of the trouser unfurls the creases from the other, so that by the next morning they scoff at ironing.

Wools also desire weights comparable to the sheep they came from. One of my earliest mistakes in the bespoke game was ordering a pair of trousers from a certain well-known Italian mill (also known to make some delightfully pricey casualwear) in 6 oz tweed. The finish was impeccable—richly textured yet refined—and of course, with the brisk walking habits of yours truly, the seat and thighs dissolved in a matter of months. We should celebrate our losses, but learn from them. Next time, I’m doubling the weight.

Beyond cloth, I’ve been looking at woven wool’s noble ancestor, the sheepskin. An indulgent form of home insulation, certainly, though an indulgence balanced in part by the fact that in these more civilized times, unindulged sheepskins are treated as one more waste product by the meat industry. Asides from that, I’ve been wondering the same thing about towelling, bathrobes, and bed linen: wouldn’t they be a bit better if they were heavier?

It’s not just practicalities that appeal to me. Beyond the warmth, the toughness, and the longevity, I feel an appreciation close to reverence. In Gravity and Grace, Simone Weil continually links our weightiness as humans to those aspects of our lives and deeds that drag us down. Our weaknesses and mistakes weigh on us. Our bodies themselves, she suggests, create a kind of drag on our souls. Weight, for Weil, is the sum of all these fears. To me it’s less about people falling down, more about making them secure. I wonder how much of Weil’s connection is cultural: it’s one thing getting plump on earthly pleasures in Paris or Nice, it’s another thing layering up in Yorkshire.

The cultural explanation seems necessary because there’s something resolutely British about heavy cloths: cords, flannels, thornproof tweeds. I think of Marling and Evans, Dugdale Brothers, Huddersfield Fine Worsteds, and cotton specialist Brisbane Moss. (If the last sounds suspiciously antipodean to you, don’t worry: it began life as The English Velvet Cord Dyeing Company.)

Amy Clampitt, an American visitor, perfectly captures the dingy British cold. In the ’70s, she wrote of “damp sheets in Dorset, fog-hung / habitat of bronchitis, of long / hot soaks in the bathtub, of nothing / quite drying out till next summer.” There’s a bit less bronchitis, but much of this seems familiar half a century on. Hardly arctic conditions, but you certainly appreciate a good heavy sweater.

[germain-tailors]

Germain Tailors Shanghai - Our fabric suppliers

We believe that choosing the right fabric, for the right event, the right season and the right style is one of the most important part of our work.

我们相信，在合适的场合、合适的季节和合适的风格中选择合适的面料是我们工作中很重要的一部分。

We will help you select your fabric, give you our advices from our experiences anytime possible and always respect your choices.

我们将帮助您一起选择面料，用我们的经验随时给您提供最好的建议，并始终尊重您的选择。

In order to help, we have built a large catalog of cloth along the years. This catalog has been curated by us, always evolving seasons after seasons, based on our experience and knowledge. We want to offer great options for all prices ranges, and the best choice for every possible request.

为了提供帮助，我们多年来建立了一个大的布料目录。这个目录是由我们所策划的，根据我们多年累积的经验和知识，每季的不同变化。我们想为所有价格范围及每一个可能都提供最佳最优的选择。

 Here is a list of our fabric suppliers for suits, blazers, trousers and overcoats :

以下为我们的西装、运动夹克、长裤及大衣面料供应商的清单： 

HOLLAND & SHERRY www.hollandandsherry.com

CERRUTI www.lanificiocerruti.com

DORMEUIL www.dormeuil.com

LORO PIANA www.loropiana.com

FOX BROTHERS www.foxflannel.com

ZEGNA www.zegnagroup.com

PIACENZA Cashmere www.piacenzacashmere.com

HARRISONS OF EDINBURGH www.harrisons1863.com

PORTER & HARDING www.harrisons1863.com

JOHNSTONS OF ELGIN www.johnstonsofelgin.com

MARLING & EVANS www.marlingandevansltd.co.uk

VITALE BARBERIS CANONICO www.vitalebarberiscanonico.com

REDA www.reda1865.com

ARISTON www.aristonfabrics.com

HUDDERSFIELD FINE WORSTED hfwltd.com

HARDY MINIS hfwltd.com

DRAPERS www.drapers.com

DUGDALE www.dugdalebros.com

DRAGO & FINTES www.dragobiella.it

HESWORTH www.hesworth.com

KERRY KNOLL www.kerry-knoll.com

Our shirt fabric partners :

以下为我们的衬衫面料的合作伙伴:

 ALBINI & THOMAS MASSON www.albinigroup.com

BONFANTI www.bonfantitessuti.com

CANCLINI www.canclini.it MONTI www.monti.co.in

As for the linings, we mostly use Cupro Bemberg quality made in Japan by the group ASAHI. It is breathable, light, and eco-friendly.

至于衬里，我们主要使用日本ASAHI集团生产的Cupro Bemberg质量。它透气、轻便、环保。

https://www.asahi-kasei.co.jp/fibers/en/bemberg/

[anindoorkitty]

The peacock of the human variety, preening for his love’s attention.

TV’s Benedict Cumberbatch and wife Sophie Hunter eclipsed some of the biggest names in fashion — including supermodels Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell — when they arrived at New York’s Met Gala this week in flamboyant outfits. His stylist of ten years, Joe Woolfe, who designed the 42-year-old’s cream suit and put together his outfit, tells me: ‘We spent ages talking about it and planning it for about three weeks before he flew to the U.S.‘He’s vegan, so that meant there were a lot of fabrics we couldn’t use. We ended up using an amazing English bamboo fabric from Huddersfield Fine Worsteds.’ Vegans do not wear materials made from animal-derived products, such as wool, and Woolfe was on strict orders to ensure every aspect of the ensemble was vegan... Benedict, who accessorised his look with a cane, Lock & Co panama hat, Jaeger-LeCoultre watch and Stubbs & Wootton slippers of ‘the highest-grade sea island cotton velvet’...Sophie,The 41-year-old theatre director sported a bespoke, billowing lilac Roksanda gown... We actually had to wait for her to pick her outfit first and then match Ben’s to hers....  Even when he acquired the white shirt from designer Emma Willis, who dresses Prince Charles and Daniel Craig, he made sure the silk would meet the actor’s exacting standards. ‘It was silk, but peace silk, which doesn’t involve killing the worms, so it’s fully vegan and cruelty-free,’ he adds.‘I had to get a few for him to choose from, because I know what he’s like, and if I just give him one thing he’ll feel like he’s being cornered. But he always ends up choosing what I offered first!’

‘He was just really excited. He was like a child going to a fancy dress party. And that’s camp.’   (source)

[permanentstyle]

https://wordpress-996520-3726858.cloudwaysapps.com/2023/05/a-guide-to-wool-silk-linens-mixes-colours-bunches.html

A guide to wool/silk/linen: Mixes, colours, bunches

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW34

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week + Walsh on Wildcard.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

Wildcard madness. Will go full team below.

GK:

Ederson (cry)

Ederson & Foster. Pretty simple combo here. Will start Eddy this GW and look to Foster as a great BB backup GK option for their double in 35. City have kinda weird fixtures from here to the end of the season but I still expect them to pick up some cleans so will be happy to have Ederson I think for the rest of the year.

DEF:

Welp since Kane died and everything got turned upside down I went from never looking at anything but five at the back to starting three defenders. Robbo, Trent, and Duffy are my starters this GW with Kola and VVD on the bench.  Despite spending a long time with Mo in my tinkers after Kane died I decided to back my gut which tells me Mo is not worth his price... Kola is just a whatever pick who I will BB in for 35 with one home fixture and has a good start in GW37. He'll be on the bench for all of their away fixtures as things currently stand. Can only hope that he plays both games in the double but am not too convinced about that.

Robertson & Alexander-Arnold (CHE)

I still think Livp are the best defense in the league and trebling for the rest of the season I can only hope will lead to big points. I'm going to bench the CB this week since I feel like the fullbacks have a better chance at an assist than he does for a goal.

Duffy (BOU & CAR)

Finally, Duffy is just a fairly straightforward pick. Alon kept it simple and told me on the pod he'd probably be in. I obviously am not going heavy into Brighton since they are shit ass but having their most attacking defender feels fine for a start this week, a BB option for 35, and then a cheap bench guy for the last few games.

MID:

The guy who I'm benching in mid is Doucoure. One of my favorite guys who should be a great BB option for the double in 35 and someone who I might start a couple times before the season is done. As for starters this week:

Eriksen & Son (HUD)

I'm doubling on Spud mids with Eriksen and Son. The team sheet against Huddy this weekend has been highly speculated about given the two City games incoming, and frankly, I have no idea how Poch will pick it. In the end, I am not where I want to be in terms of OR and I'm punting on Spurs being able to - even without Kane - putting some goals in against the shit opposition that they face through to the end of the season.

Sterling (cry)

I've decided to stand by Raz in the end, and despite great concern over whether or not he will start this weekend I just think they are the best attack in the division and I want to have him in. It's an upside play and hopefully it comes off.

Redmond (WOL)

I'm starting Redderz this weekend home to Wolves with not very high expectations. Wolves are a huge rogue wild card for the rest of the term to me as they could either fight hard for Europa or head to the beach. Either way, I think it's a pretty reasonable fixture for Redmond.

FWD:

Agüero (cry)

Kun is in. Not someone I played around with really too much and someone who I think should get a decent point return from now until the end of the season.

Deeney (ARS)

Deeney is another guy who I haven't really played around with. I think home Arsenal is a great attacking fixture and they will have their tails up for the rest of the season, I expect, leading up to the FA Cup final.

Llorente (HUD)

Last guy and really trickiest guy is Fernando Llorenthe. Welcome in the side you Spanish donk. I don't really rate him, but when I look at what fixtures Spurs have as well as how I expect Poch to pick the teams, Llorente seems phenomenal to me for these shitty fixtures while he will play pacy Son/Lukash up top type things against City. At 5.1 he feels a very good gamble.

CAP:

Llorente (HUD)

As you know, dear reader, City players are off limits as they roll up to Selhurst for my captaincy. Perhaps I am putting good money after bad with my failed Callum cap punt last week, but I am on Llorente. Hear me out. I am very concerned whether or not Son will start since I think he is much more important for them up against City. For this reason I'm off him for cap. Eriksen feels a likely starter but I don't know what he's going to be up to in any given week - it's like capping Hazard to me. Without Kane, and likely without Alli, I'm not sure how he'll go. This leads me to Llorente. He is a diabolical player to start against City since he's slow as fuck and can't counter. With two City games book-ending the Huddy game I'm backing my own intuition on this one and hoping that Poch will see it the same way. I think that literally every other attacker on the team will be more likely to sub off than Llorente as I think he is a complete non-option to start midweek...so the 90 is appealing. Even a shit donk like Llorente should be able to do things against one of the worst teams in the division we have ever seen as far as I'm concerned. Tip of the spear, tip of my penis, let's see it Fernando.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Brooks, Luiz

IN (for -4 points hit): Son, Vertonghen

TLDR: Huddersfield are shit.

So I haven’t been around all week just been working my ass off and now we’re here and I was just sorta yolo let’s take a hit and get good guys in... Sorry to everyone on Slack/Twitter that I didn’t have time to get to... Anyway Sonny boy in with Kane dead feels sorta self-explanatory... When Kane is away Sonny boy will play. Takes up the role as their main goalscorer, main outlet, main shot-taker, etc.. Good guy. And Vert has the nailedness, the banker this week, the double, and then several more bankers to end the season. Seems good.

GK:

Heaton (CAR)

Not feeling great about a clean in this one as Cardiff need all the points in the world so they should be properly gung-ho.. Hopefully save points from Tom here.

DEF:

Vertonghen (HUD)

Yeah easy.

Alexander-Arnold & Matip (CHE)

Should be a tight matchup and a clean is realistic imo. But it’ll be fucking tough.

MID:

Salah (CHE)

We all heard Chelsea fans’ new favorite song about their former player Mo, the racist scumbags that they are... Need Mo to fuck these posh cunt rentboy fucks for the good of the universe.

Sterling (cry)

Raz is great and Palace’s defense is now garbage.

Son (HUD)

Sonny in. Hatty incoming.

Ward-Prowse (WOL)

It would be really cool if JWP went another run of goals in three matches in a row or something like that right now. Did it in GWs 22-24, and in 28-30, so I duno 34-36 seems good to me. Go on Hames.

FWD:

Aguero (cry)

Kun’s good... Not feeling confident he starts but he might do and then he might score lots of points. We shall see.

Rondón (lei)

Couple blanks in a row but Sal is still a friend, forever a friend, with actually very good attacking fixtures from now through the end of the season except for GW37. Maybe he’ll tit me.

Barnes (CAR)

Barnesy in a great fixture but who knows with this lunatic? Shake the magic 8-ball and you either get a red card, an own goal, a brace, a pen, conceding a pen, donkey performance, brexit merchant, or any of the above in combinations. Who knows. Hopefully it’s points for me.

BENCH:

McNeil (CAR)

CAP:

Son (HUD)

Going with who I consider my highest upside guy in Son. Really could be a hatty and I think with 3.5 full days off before City in UCL they should be fine legs wise to go out and just dumpster on the shittiest team in the division. Shrug.

[jamespersonaltailor]

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[whatdoesshedotothem]

Thursday 6 June 1833

7 ½

1

fine and F63 ½° at 7 ½ a.m. breakfast with my father at 8 40 in 20 minutes – Had Pickels a long while to know if I would have the bit of rubbishy ground at the end of Whiskam road made into land – yes! – he thought it was worth 40/. doing – told him to settle with Washington – (W- thought it yesterday worth 30/.) – says Aquila Green says he would give £100 a year for a small corn mill to be set about where the culvert will come out above the Stags’ head Mytholm – P- says he could get stones and led and walled for 20/. a rood – the man who did George Haighs’ mill (--------) did it at that – 12x5ft. 3 stories high 9ft. each story would turn into a worsted mill – foundation would be [?] out for £5 – at the scale [directly]- £100 would do it – thinks joiners’ work and wood etc. etc. would be perhaps £200 more! – I said the mill would cost a thousand at least – the wheel itself would be £200 – with my aunt a little while – then a little while reading the courier in my study – Mr. Norris came at 11 – said I had seen Holt yesterday and had told I meant to decline the partnership etc. (vid. last 3 lines of last page) – he said if I decline the partnership he thought he should too – he should pump

Pickels says G.R- told him he could not afford to have ground wasted paid £4 per D.W. for it – I said I wondered to whom he paid it – not to my father but I should remember this – perhaps it was worth what he said he paid

SH:7/ML/E/16/0065

out of the boat if I did – this was a sudden change – I hoped not too sudden – I had hinted it the last time he was here – the more I thought of it, the more I was aware of the intricacy and difficulties attending my being a partner – my fears had been strengthened in York – and as he objected to my taking as owner a ¼ of advance on coal above 8d. per corve or load, I did not like being bound for 40 years – 20 or 21 long enough – [?] he must consider of this new view of the case – thought if I would not be a partner he would not – I should be a security to him and he and I should be a security to each other – I should be a check on Holt etc. etc. I combated all this – and I pretty successfully combated him in return – as I advanced all the money, the rest ran no risk – my measurer would be the same check whether I was partner or not – I was not so anxious for the loose as might be supposed – I could do quite well – as well without it – he thought not – said I might be mistaken but such was my conviction – So long as I set up the colliery, I could easily let it – Besides, as to Mrs. P-‘s loose, it would only valuable for this coal – nobody could afford to give so much for it as I could – if they could let them have it – or if Mr. R- chose to give more merely to keep it out of my hands, let him have it – If the present concern fell thro’, I should let the coal rest a while – well, said N- then when you do think of it again will you let me have a chance – I said Holt, as my agent, would know in the 1st instance and he, Mr. N-, would know immediately on my applying to Mrs. P- should I make an application  at all – Besides the thing would be made more public – he would be sure to know but I had suffered too much (in the case of Messrs. Rawson) for giving a first refusal to do it hastily again – he said he would see Holt on Saturday – however I consider the matter at an end – he had said at first that Mrs. P- meant to employ Jones of Huddersfield to value the loose – would not say what Mr. N- thought it worth tho’ I had said what Holt and I thought – a little talk on indifferent subjects and he went away at 12 5 – with my aunt till 12 ½ - said I considered the thing given up – came to my study at 12 ½ and till 1 25 read from p. 324 to 402 end of vol. ii

‘Spain in 1830. By Henry D. Inglis, author of ‘Solitary walks thro’ many Lands’; ‘A journey thro’ Norway’ etc. etc. in 2 vols. vol. 2 London; Whittaker, Tracher, and co. Ave Maria Lane. 1831.  London printed by S. Manning and co. London-house-yard, St. Pauls’ vol. 1 pp. 400 vol. 2 pp. 402. 8vo. –

Just before Mr. N- came while with my aunt Marian paid me the £150 for my quarter share of the Hampstead property for which I gave her note of hand – from 1 25 to 2 10 dozing over my desk or asleep – from 2 10 to 4 calculating about the coal and wrote out from line 17 p. 117 to line 16 p. 118 - Mr. Horner came at 4 - paid him for the pictures - agrees that that painted rounding off the pictures of my 3 great uncles does not look well - but it was the fashion of that day - thinks they were probably painted by Hudson the master of Sir Godfrey Kneller and sir JK- who found fault with Joshua Reynolds when he 1st returned from Italy that he  Sir JR- did not paint in the same way, but did like nobody else - agrees with me would have round frames - rather darer than square ones, but thinks could get handsome round ones for 3 guineas each - asked to see his view of this house - said it would have been published before in London but I had prevented it, not liking to see its present deformities and nuisances perpetuated - saw his and praised his sketch of Shibden dale for Marian to be or rather not exceed 20 guineas - subscribed (desired my name to be put down) to his views about to the published - asked to send Binns up tomorrow to take my aunts likeness in oils – Mr. Freeman had come soon after 4 and waited a little – while my aunt was in the room he seemed not in talking mood – gave her the hint to retire, had wine and got into business – he thinks there is no stone in George Naylors’ field worth breaking up the land for but will sink down to it if I like and expose it to general view – said I thought he must be right – should probably tell G.N- I had made inquiries and thought the stone not worth looking after but if I changed my mind would write to him S. F- about it – It is evident he does not wish to be what he calls opposed that is, have anyone else take stone of me, and I am for the present indifferent about it – and said I would let the stone in Joseph Halls’ (SF- said it was this he wanted not the other) rest a while at all rates would write to him about in the 1st instance – he promised to look at the stone in Whiskam road  

vid. 13 June 1833 values it at 1/. per yard

and value it for me, and write a note to my aunt to tell her to forward to me his valuation shewed him the plan of yew trees quarry – It seems he has got 389 yards skirt posts and ruttle but only 1019 8/9 yards, out of the 3500, of whole stone – but says he will gave got the remainder before the 4 years end – his last payment will be next midsummer – but he has 7 years from them to get the stone – there is no stone worth getting in Robin close – too much shaken and too hard – might get large blocks – but so hard nobody to work them – could get them much cheaper elsewhere – asked if it would make ashler – no! too hard to work – thinks perhaps there may be as much more stone in yew trees, as 3500 yards – but cannot tell yet – he drank tea with my aunt and the rest and staid with them till 8 – then came back with me into the drawing room to see the yewtrees quarry plan – and went away about 8 ½ - then had Charles Howarth – paid him up to today – came to my study at 9 and from then to 12 10 wrote from line 16 p. 118 to here – fine day – F64° now at 12 ¼ tonight -

[junker-town]

A violent El Clasico, a strange Champions League final, and the universe explained by James Milner’s face

Welcome to SB Nation’s weekly soccer column, Tactically Naive.

Hello! Welcome back to Tactically Naive, SB Nation’s look back at the last seven days in kicking balls into nets. This week our sponsors are: Neil Warnock’s hairline, Neil Warnock’s self-satisfied grin, and Neil Warnock’s inevitable relegation.

These are the best teams

This week’s headline news was, of course, the confirmation that the Champions League final will be contested by two sides that don’t actually make sense. In the red corner, Liverpool, who went to Rome with a three-goal aggregate lead and nearly mucked it up. In the white, defending champions Real Madrid, whose progress past Bayern Munich was based on two things. One, they’ve got some really good players. Two, the flow of the universe bends to their will.

With 20 goals across the two semi-finals, you’d think it would be difficult to pick a stand-out moment. But that would be to overlook Roma’s first goal, a Liverpool own goal, which came about when a Dejan Lovren clearance hit James Milner in the head. Which looked like this.

This unfortunate marriage of ball and face is, in this column’s estimation, probably the most important thing to happen in this young millenium. It’s an embodied koan: stare long enough at Milner’s face, caught at that precise moment between knowing nothing and knowing nothing else, and enlightenment will surely follow.

Two hands clap and there is a sound; what is the sound of one hand?

What happens when the unstoppable force meets the immovable object?

If the Big Bang created the universe, what exploded?

Thanks, James. Keep up the good work.

The Premier League is drifting off to sleep

The English Premier League is a strange business. There’s the actual stuff of it: the football. Good games and bad games, fun ones and boring ones. Some seasons are thrilling. Others are underwhelming. Some are even processions. Just like every other football league ever.

And then there’s the constant, aggressive reminder that the Premier League is, well, the premier league. The loudest, the shiniest, the biggest, the bestest, the richest but somehow still the fairest. Where anyone can beat anyone, and where anything can happen. This is hype, of course: a self-sustaining act of mass delusion that plays up the chaos of football — “Only in the Premier League!” — while eliding the frequent tedium and one-sidedness.

The tension between these two aspects of the Eee Pee Ell is never more obvious than when a side strolls to the title. Instantly, the big clashes at the end of the season, the marquee games that should be the Premier League at its fullest and most glorious, are rendered strange and empty. Chelsea beat Liverpool one-nil at Stamford Bridge on Sunday, and it was fine. The sun was shining, Olivier Giroud scored a nice header, and Chelsea kept their chances of Champions League qualification alive.

The Race For Fourth™ is important, of course. Maybe even crucial, in the grand scheme of things. But it’s fundamentally administrative, and so nowhere near as animating.

Fortunately for the Premier League’s boosters, and those giddy souls that have to negotiate the television deals, there’s still plenty left in the relegation stramash. Stoke City are down, to the gleeful laughter of every single Arsenal fan in the world. But West Bromwich Albion are still scrapping away: since Darren Moore took over, the worst team in the league have taken 11 points from 5 games, including wins over Manchester United and Spurs and a draw with Liverpool.

(If you’re interested, that’s three more points than Alan “When you’re the king, you can do what you want” Pardew managed in his 18 league games.)

Above them, Huddersfield squeezed a point out of City, which means that we go into the final week with four teams in danger of joining Stoke. West Brom still need a complicated conjunction of incompetence from the teams above them, while Swansea and Southampton play one another on Tuesday night. Huddersfield play Chelsea on Wednesday. And we have just one request for whatever grand force is guiding the universe: Please, give us a final day with some proper intrigue, some back and forth, and a chance to enjoy several mutations of the As It Stands table.

Meanwhile, Manchester City got given the trophy

Perhaps this might end up being the entire Premier League legacy of Oleksandr Zinchenko and, you know what, I think that would be fine. pic.twitter.com/XjlWA9EZXu

— Adam Hurrey (@FootballCliches) May 6, 2018

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Of course, one way to deal with the end of season blues, and the emptiness of games that should mean everything and don’t mean much at all, is to have a big old fight. The first foul of Sunday’s clásico came 15 seconds in, and by the end Real Madrid and Barcelona had served up four goals, 28 fouls, eight yellow cards, one straight red, and a gluttonous portion of pushing, shouting, diving, appealing, and that weird head-nuzzling thing that footballers enjoy so much.

Photo by David Ramos/Getty Images

It’s a strange dance, the footballing scrap. Perhaps we should think of it as its own martial art, a kind of social judo in which the combatants attempt to provoke their opponent into landing the first blow, thus earning a red card. A whole series of conventions have grown up, based what referees will and will not tolerate. Heads can touch, but you cannot thrust; you can push in the chest, but not above the neck; and whatever happens to any part of you, if you go down, you hold your face.

Grown men, the lot of them.

Alex Ferguson is unwell

Ferguson underwent brain surgery this weekend, and since it’s impossible to write at any length about this without it turning into a premature obituary, we’re just going to cross our fingers and hope he pulls through. Please enjoy this video of Ferguson in his latter-day role as Proud Father of Many Fine Footballers, congratulating Nani and Cristiano Ronaldo on their Euro 2012 victory.

Throwback to Sir Alex Ferguson waiting for Nani and Ronaldo after winning the Euros, like a proud father pic.twitter.com/K4a1V06hfv

— BigFootball (@BigFootballGB) May 6, 2018

The ballad of Diego Costa

We’re all familiar with the great love stories: Cupid and Psyche, Romeo and Juliet, Cristiano Ronaldo and Cristiano Ronaldo. But for some reason — probably the machinations of Big Love and their well-funded PR operation — hate stories aren’t given quite the same respect. And one of the great hate stories of our time came to an end on Thursday.

We speak, of course, of the animosity felt by Diego Costa for Arsenal Football Club. These star-crossed loathers met for perhaps the last time in the Europa League semi-final, with Atletico holding the advantage in the tie. Did Costa score? Of course he did. Did Costa generally cut about the place in precisely the expected fashion? Like you even have to ask.

Photo by Lars Baron/Getty Images

Costa scored plenty against Arsenal while at Chelsea, and once managed to get half of Arsenal’s defence sent off for treading on his toe. More generally, he manifested as the precise opposite of everything Arsenal embodied, good and bad. Here was a club praised for their commitment to aesthetics, but criticised for their fragility, incompetence, and drifting focus. And here, to keep the universe in balance, Costa, a snickering dervish of gristle and spite. A wind-up merchant, hidden inside a brilliant striker, hidden inside another wind-up merchant.

And now this beautiful relationship is over. Costa is back in Spain, and even if the clubs run into each other in Europe again, Arsène Wenger will have gone and Arsenal, whatever they are, won’t be Arsenal. Won’t be “oh, Arsenal”. And so Costa won’t be Costa, however hard he tries. Each created the another, and as one fades, so the other can only be diminished.

Let’s check in with Rangers

At this moment, the job of Rangers manager must count as one of the trickiest on earth. Tradition, expectation, and history all insist that Rangers should be competing with Celtic at the top of Scottish football. Reality notes, a touch awkwardly, that Celtic are 13 points ahead of Rangers in the table, and that the aggregate score of the five Old Firm derbies this season was Celtic 14-2 Rangers.

That gap is not unbridgeable, of course. But it will take time, strategy, patience, and cleverness. It will take a manager that knows what he’s doing and a club that knows how to support him. And Rangers have appointed Steven Gerrard, who you may remember from such managerial successes as playing for Liverpool, playing for England, and, er, playing for Liverpool.

It’s certainly not impossible that Gerrard has it in him to be an excellent manager. But Rangers are guessing, and in the meantime they’re gambling that his presence, personality, and name will galvanise the squad. Or maybe they’ve decided there’s a profitable future in borrowing kids from Liverpool’s reserve and youth teams. Meanwhile Gerrard has decided to launch his managerial career at a club where the prospect of failure looms a lot larger than success.

Ultimately, this is the kind of gap between what is and what should be that can swallow managers whole. Also he’s going to say “This does not slip” at some point, and one of his players will giggle, and it’ll be awkward as hell.

Zito’s nutmeg corner

Pablo Pérez: “The protection of minorities is vitally important; and even the most orthodox of us may find himself in a minority some day, so that we all have an interest in restraining the tyranny of majorities.” pic.twitter.com/7Fd6VJ9Psc

— Zito (@_Zeets) May 6, 2018

A nutmeg and a completed pass? That’s just showing off.

The week in congratulations

Finally, a note for those that achieved something special this week. Congratulations to:

Chelsea, for winning the FA Women’s Cup;

Cardiff, for securing automatic promotion to the Premier League;

Bolton Wanderers, for scoring twice in the last three minutes of the Championship season to avoid relegation;

Aaron Wilbraham, for scoring the last of those goals despite having made his debut some time between the two world wars;

Arsène Wenger, who has managed his last game at the Emirates and so is finally free of that strange and appalling place: his managerial career’s masterpiece, millstone, and mausoleum;

Marseille, and the delightful Dimitri Payet, for reaching their first European final since 2004;

and last and very much least, Napoli, for being a massive bunch of cowardly bottlers and ruining everything again.