#human sunset was a good person or a bad person? which would hurt pony sunset more? the knowledge that her counterpart is a good person -

[holydramon]

I see one eqg thing on my dash and the eqg hyperfixation consumes me once again

[patchesc-137]

Stable.

Summary: Reader breeds incredible horses on Beorn's estate. The Company is run into their home by the skinchanger, and requests some of her horses to go on with them on their journey. She agrees if, and only if, she can go with them; to take care of her steeds.On the way, she has to teach Bilbo to ride a full grown horse. Feelings ensue.

Word Count: 1967

Warnings: None

Requests: Open

Gif Credit: XXX

Beorn had a tendency to scare people. He didn’t necessarily have the fundamental human thought process when he was in his other form. But to be fair, the home they shared was supposed to be far from other living, talking things. Only rabbits and the like sauntered around the area. You were used to it. You had spent enough time around your friend to get him used to your scent. Often times you could hold up your hand, and he would stop in front of you, only to transform back into his human self. You two met long ago on your travels. His barn had been perfect for raising horses, and he needed an extra hand around the place. You’ve been there ever since.

It’s daylight, still, when the band of dwarves huddle into the stable. They close the door, missing Beorn’s snout and teeth by an inch. They immediately barricade the door and begin to shout in triumph, until you clear your throat, causing them all to start.

“If you broke my friend’s nose, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” you’re joking. Mostly. Of course you didn’t want to see Beorn hurt, but you were also quite curious about the short men who have wandered, rather aggressively, into your breeding grounds. Your hand caresses the nose of one of your prized stallions, assuring him silently that he wouldn’t be harmed by the newcomers. You give a smile, despite their disheveled looks. “Smart to run from him, though. At least in that form,”

Beorn joins the party shortly after with a very red nose crinkled in annoyance. You know he doesn’t have the greatest fondness for dwarves, so when they asked to take a few of the horses for personal gain, he was hesitant to say yes. The good news for them was that they were yours, and therefore it was your choice whether any steed would leave this stable.

You were a fairly nice human. Polite, if nothing else, unless you had to be otherwise. And you knew Gandalf, if only a bit. He’s rarely, if ever, travelled through these parts, but you’ve heard stories. Legends. You couldn’t really imagine any scenario where you said no, but you knew that you couldn’t just let your horses go. So you came to a decision.

“I will allow you all of my horses, as long as you allow me to come with you,” There were immediate protests. They couldn’t have a woman- a human- on their journey. It was too dangerous. You shush them with a stoney stare. “There is more to me than my appearance, I assure you. And I believe I’m entitled to keep an eye on my prized ponies,”

They all look at each other for an answer, but it’s none of the dwarves who speak up. Instead, it’s the hobbit you would come to know as Bilbo, who calls over the commotion. “I don’t see why she couldn’t come,” he chides, appalled at their rudeness. “The horses will listen to her better than any of us, if nothing else,”

You try to give him a nod of thanks, but he steps back behind the company so you couldn’t see him.

They seem skeptical, first looking to their leader, Thorin, and then up to the great wizard Gandalf, who exchanges a knowing glance with you before he concludes that he trusts in you and your abilities. It was settled, then, despite skeptical looks and cautious agreeance. Rather excited, you allowed them to stay there for the night, and served them breakfast in the morning, your big friend looming over them, pouring them milk to go along with their bread and honey. He retells of how the Orcs killed his entire race, and you stand beside him once he settles, placing a comforting hand on his back. Once the dwarves were ready to leave, you got out a tattered bag and started to pack up for the journey.

“Are you sure about this?” Beorn pulls you away once you’ve tied everything off and hauled the bag over your shoulder. You have to look way, way up, but you give him an assuring gaze, reaching up on your tiptoes to pat him on the shoulder.

“I am. You know I’ve been dying to get out of here,” Beorn raises a brow, and you laugh to yourself. “You know what I mean. I’ll go on an adventure, and then I’ll be back,” You beam, but he still looks unsure. “I promise,” you add, patting him once more before turning on your heel to go back to the stable.

In the stables, you give out your horses. There are twice as many men as there are steeds, but they seem fine with sharing, as long as they could get farther across the lands. Gandalf requires his own horse, which means you would have to share, as well. Not that you minded too much. Perhaps you could get to know some of your fellow company, now that you were a part of it.

“Would you like to ride with me?” you beam down at the hobbit, who turns to you as if you were talking to someone else.

“Me? Oh. No, no,” he waves his hands. “That’s quite alright. I’ll ride with-” he glances around, pointing at Ori, who hops on with Bofur. “I mean, I’ll ride with-” Kili effortlessly climbs up behind Fili. Bilbo deflates a bit, but then seems to remember his manners, clearing his throat and giving a small smile. “Yes, that would be lovely. Thank you,”

Delighted, you wait for Bilbo to climb up onto your horse, Margo. When he hesitates to do so, you glance down at him expectantly. After a moment of staring, his cheeks grow a bit hot.

“After you,” he offers.

You think you know what’s happening, but you all but jump up onto your trusty steed, hair blowing in the light breeze as you look back down at the hobbit. His brows are raised. Mouth slightly agape. Still, he does not move to get up.

“Do you need assistance?” you question, trying not to smile. 

He shakes his head at first, but seems to reconsider. “I’ve never ridden a… full grown horse before,” Bilbo holds out his hands in a shrug, before clearing his throat once more. He seems to do that when he’s nervous, you realize.

Again, you hide a grin. “I had no idea,” you hold down your arm for him to take. Reluctantly, he grasps onto it. Before he is fully prepared, you pull him up in one swift sweep. Bilbo would yelp, holding tightly onto your waist so he would not fall off, until he felt your body moving with the full force of your laughter. 

Bilbo is quite unimpressed as he lets go, fixing the crinkles in his vest. “Might I request you be more careful when you help me up, next time?” his voice is merely irritated. Your smile remains, though you nod when you look back at him.

“My apologies, Master Baggins,” your smile turns friendly as your hands grasp the reigns, taking off behind the band of dwarves. At the jolt, his hands land at your waist again, and his face grows even redder. “Perhaps I can show you how to do it yourself, next time,”

He gives a curt and official nod, loosening his grip, but not letting go. “Yes, perhaps you can,”

Next time is not long after your first meeting. You’ve gotten through many awful things together, but it is now that you are able to rest. The journey is everything you hoped for. As much as you love Beorn and that quaint home he lives in, there seemed to be much more for you out in the world. Including new friends, and… well, whatever Bilbo Baggins was turning out to be.

His first ride hadn’t gone so bad, when he stopped panicking. Actually, it seemed like he was a natural. Gandalf mumbled something about his family (one hobbit being big enough to supportively ride a full grown horse; one hobbit, his mother, an adventurous woman) and you knew that, just like you, there is more to Bilbo than meets the eye.

“You’re wonderful,” you exclaim as he trots around the grounds, Margo seeming to like the attention just as much as the hobbit did.

“I am getting the hang of it, aren’t I?” he calls rather proudly, taking the steed in a wide circle before galloping back over to you. Bilbo sighs, and you expect him to get down- having enough excitement for one day. Instead, he stares down at you for a moment, before a hand reaches down for your own. Surprised, you hesitated long enough for Bilbo to second guess himself. “If you’d rather I dismount, I could-”

“No!” You take his hand and climb up, sitting behind him comfortably. “No, I just… I wasn’t expecting you to offer, that’s all,”

Bilbo tilts his head from side to side, deciding that was a fair point to make. “Well- I just thought we deserved a nice ride at sunset,” Together? you thought. But he never said it aloud. “After everything we’ve been through, you know,”

“Yes,” you chuckle, wrapping your arms around his waist to get yourself settled. If you could see his features, you would know that his skin had gone as red as a strawberry in blooming season. The smile was apparent in your voice. “Yes, I agree,”

“Good. Now-” he pulls the reins, patting your horse on the neck before letting loose. “On our way, Margo,”

She takes off without a hitch, faster than Bilbo expected, you’re sure, but with very little noise, he takes control of the animal, slowing her to a trot. There weren’t many places you could go, but Bilbo took you as far as he could, far enough to feel the wind in your hair, to hold his waist for longer than you would have dreamed. You ask him of his mother, and he tells you of her- Belladonna Took, a courageous and mischievous woman. You laugh, listening to him. He speaks of his home, the Shire. A place that sounds perfect in every way. He invites you to visit, if you both shall get out of this alive.

The conversation between you is natural, as if you’ve known each other for years, and you’re grateful for it. Without much notice, your arms tighten around his middle. Just enough for Bilbo to lean back that much more against you. Small gestures, but you both think you know there is something more going on than just riding lessons. However, neither of you seemed to want to say it directly. Bilbo was too polite, and you were too shy. You hoped your feelings could go without saying, for now. After all, there were a few things the company, including you and Bilbo, still needed to do; to focus on.

Bilbo stops the horse when the sky turns to red and orange, though neither of you dismount. Instead, you look out at the earth, the sky, the land. It’s beautiful. There was no better word to describe it than this. It’s something you’ve seen a million times from the steps of your home, but now- close to Bilbo, arms wrapped around him, the curls of his hair glowing gold just at the bottom of your vision… it was brand new.

You leaned your chin on his shoulder, hoping it was alright if you did. He moves only his eyes down to you, making sure this was real; that it was happening. Was he nervous? He clears his throat.

“That is a sight,” he tries to fill the silence. You can’t decide if he’s talking about the sunset or you.

[incorrectmlpquotes]

My Thoughts on Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks

Or: Are we sure this didn’t come out in 2004 rather than 2014? Because the “battle of the bands”  story line feels super dated for some reason. I feel like almost every early 2000s cartoon had some sort of music contest episode, and I never liked them. I blame American Idol for making those popular.

Some History:

I’m under the impression that everything in this movie I dislike is a completely subjective thing that wouldn’t bother someone else. I know that, from a movie standpoint, this is much better than the first, but I just don’t like it as much. Everything that warrants complaint comes from a personal hangup that I have (such as: my lack of any musical ability causes me to not care at all whether their band is successful), so if you disagree, I completely understand. These are all my opinions, and I’m aware that this is probably the best of the four movies. (As stated on a previous post, I haven’t watched any of the shorts from 2017 or 2018 as of this entry)  

There were a series of promotional shorts released before the movie debuted that explains how the members of the Main 5 came to play their instruments in Rainbow Dash’s band, and some other random stuff. Here’s the link to the playlist on youtube. Here’s a quick rundown of what I think:

Music to My Ears : meh

Guitar Centered : funny, but kind of mean spirited

Hamstocalypse Now : Hilarious.

Pinkie on the One : exactly what you’d expect it to be

Player Piano: a masterpiece

A Case for the Bass: Applejack is one word, why would she have AJ embroidered on the strap? I know people call her that but those aren’t her initials

Life is a Runway: There’s a reason they didn’t let Rarity write the songs

Shake Your Tale: Bad.

This was a pretty clever way to establish some musical background within the group without taking up time in the movie. It also is some sneaky foreshadowing with Trixie, which I appreciate.

In the actual movie: My nitpicks are going to be less Why is no one in class? Why is doesn’t anyone have homework? Because I realize this is a movie and depicting high school as it actually is would be boring to watch. Besides, there are plenty of other things to complain about.

We open on a scene of this film’s villains. And yes I am going to refer to them as villains instead of antagonists because 1) they are actually a threat and we see them doing bad things, and 2) other people will serve as antagonists. A villain is different from an antagonist, even though the terms are often used interchangeably. 

The Dazzlings are so cool, they make a cameo four years later. Either this is some really deep foreshadowing, or by season seven the writers were so desperate for an ongoing arc, they looked to other properties. But we now know that the guardians banished them over 1,000 years ago. So they really are ancient magic. And now they have to go to high school. Talk about eternal torment… 

Way to take all the credit, Starswirl

We are shown how they are a sort of siren, who feed off of people’s negativity and discord and use their beautiful enchanted voices to cause mayhem. Kind of like a mix between Ursula the sea witch and Spectra from Danny Phantom. Oh my gosh, this is the second one of these reviews that I’ve brought up Danny Phantom. Maybe this is why Butch thinks he’s so popular.

The Dazzlings, we can infer, have been exiled to the EQG-verse from Equestria. So apparently this universe is like the pony version of colonial Australia, where they send all their criminals and miscreants. A solid plan that couldn’t have any negative repercussions. The sirens see a beam of light that must be the one from the last movie. This is good news for them, but bad news for me because now I have no idea how much time has passed the two films. Has it been a couple days? Weeks? Moons? This will make a difference in regards to why people still don’t trust Sunset. But why waste time setting up the story when we can get right into the remix title card?

At this point, I can only assume that principal Celestia threatened to expel students if they told the news or the FBI about the magical winged demon that attacked the school, because no one seems too concerned about that incident.

But they have plenty of time to hurt my baby’s feelings

I’m going to be honest, when I first watched EQG I thought that Sunset was faking her remorseful act after being defeated. As cool as that would have been, she makes a much better reformed bad guy than an antagonist, because she really wasn’t in the last movie that much.

List of “evil” things Sunset Shimmer has done: send fraudulent text messages and emails that honestly could have been pretty easily disproved, made fun of Fluttershy, made fun of the steamers in the gym, somehow divided the school into cliques, ran a mostly unsuccessful smear campaign against Twilight’s bid for dance princess, threatened to destroy the portal to Equestria, transformed into a demon to hypnotize the students, and she dissed the Apple cider. 

Ok, that last one is pretty evil. But what really makes this and all subsequent movies great is that we get to see her learn and grow and change from the experience into a real friend.

I am glad to see that the Main 5 have forgiven her, but no one is quite ready to absolve her of guilt. Like, I might not think she did all that much bad junk, but the students of Canterlot High seem to think she was one tier below Mussolini  in terms of maniacal dictators, so I don’t blame them for being cautious. It takes a lot to earn back trust.

Back in Equestria proper, the Mane six plus Spike are sitting around waiting for the plot to affect them. They kindly provide some exposition and once again setup the fact that only Twilight can go through the portal, because the others can’t interact with themselves. So we think. I will be bringing this up when we get to The Friendship Games.

Back through the portal, Twilight  gets looped into the fact that Sunset has changed her ways. It’s fair to be a little apprehensive to trust someone who, the last time you saw them, was an actual literal demon. (Don’t worry though, Twi, you’ve still got two more unicorns to reform. It’s kind of your thing.)

Don’t reject her love Twilight, it’s all I have to live for

And now it’s time to discuss the small blue elephant in the room. I feel like I really need to explain why I dislike the addition of Flash to any of the plots. He’s kind of a waste of a potential. You want to add a male character: fine. But make them an actual real fleshed-out character. The show has proven that they can do it and do it well. Sunburst and Thorax are great characters who feel like a good addition to the story. And we got a real sense of who they were in one or two twenty minute episodes. I have no clue what this guy’s purpose is except to be a love interest, and this is not the show to do that with. With very few exceptions, the main characters of MLP have not sought out romantic partners, Twilight included. Why would she choose to do so now? I mean, I get why he’s into Twilight: she’s taken the form of a cute teenage girl. But he’s a species that doesn’t even exist in Equestria. She just fell through a portal and instantly got the hots for some weird otherworldly creature…

Wait a minute. Wait just a minute. Perhaps this isn’t compulsory heterosexuality. Perhaps Twilight Sparkle is just a Monster Lover™. I can respect that.

Moving on.

It was so very smart of the writers to have the Dazzlings brainwash the principals in order to get away with this scheme. That makes so much more sense and covers any plot holes that could arise (such as, someone claiming to be a new student despite having no transcript, no grades, and no knowledge of how to hold a pen).

Does time work differently between these two universes? Has it been months in Equestria but only a week in this world? (It really threw me off that the first four season of MLP took place over one year, and these movies don’t help that). And the sad thing is, this could be easily hand-waved away by a single throw away line, but it isn’t.

The Dazzlings are already better villains than Sunset, even from a character standpoint. We know their powers, we know their motivation, and we know they are capable of bringing about an actually believable rift between friends.

Then the best song, best montage, and possibly best scene in any of these films happen: the Dazzling come into the lunchroom and hypnotize everyone. This song is beautiful and eerie and exactly what you would expect a magic spell to sound like. I also enjoy the visual representation of the bands competing (and not just because I didn’t want to hear any of them perform) that we’ll see later. To give credit where credit is due, this movies has some great visual sequences.

Give ‘em the o’l razzle dazzle

At first I thought it was unrealistic that this many kids had bands, but I realized it was probably an effect of the spell. But I might not be the best judge: I think I know maybe three people, plus myself, who don’t play an instrument. I’ll just assume that the Disney channel exists in this universe, and all these children just really want to be famous.

It’s worth sitting through this movie just to see everyone’s pajamas. That’s not weird, right? No really, the scene of them all having a big slumber party is everything I ever wanted from this series. They managed to capture everyone’s personality from an article of clothing. Now THAT’s good character design.

I get the distinct impression that the writers of this don’t like Rainbow Dash.

Oh good, references to technology that couldn’t possibly date this movie in the slightest. Wait… this is Pinkie’s house. Aren’t the Pies supposed to be like Amish or resembling Amish-type folk? What is the human equivalent of rock farmers? Not actual farmers because those exist in the pony-verse. This really confuses me, but Maude’s cameo is fantastic.

The scene with Twilight and Sunset is one of those really well-done moments that reminds me why I love the show so much. It feels really genuine, and supports my argument that it was worth having Sunset as a crappy villain just to reform her.

Ah yes, the sweet, lingering glances that totally platonic female friends share with each other late at night. I know them well.

Our girl Twily seems to be having trouble writing a spell that can double as a catchy pop song (She’s no Lana Del Rey), so they go with an old set list. How long has this band been operational? Weren’t they in a huge feud for several years?

Mac is a close second for best cameo

So we get to watch the band audition, and it goes about as well an actual high school talent show. The CMC are in the outfits from Showstoppers (which is hilarious) and Snips and Snails rap (which is disturbing). In order to keep my goblin brain from exploding while trying to figure out the ages of everyone, I’m just going to assume that this is a combination Middle School and High School. So, if Sunset won fall dance princess four years in a row, she would be in the tenth grade now, so they would be about 15-16. The Equestria Girls Holiday Comic shows Rarity driving a car, so that could be a possibility.

A. Daft. Punk. Reference. Wow. Just wow. (Note: this was more shocking before season five, when there was a character that was basically Lady Gaga. And by basically, I mean very obviously Lady Gaga. Remember when the pop culture references in this show were subtle?)

Dash’s song is quite possibly the most cringeworthy thing I have ever heard. The only defense is it does sound like something a high schooler would write.

On that note, why is Rainbow Dash the lead singer of the group? I mean, I know why, but WHY? (and yes, I am aware that her voice actress is a singer. But Ashleigh Ball uses her normal voice when she performs. Think back to all the songs RD has sung in the previous four seasons before this aired. There are not a lot of solos or high notes. When she sings as Applejack, it is beautiful, but Dash’s voice is grating sometimes)

Really? A battle of the bands is the greatest thing you’ve done at the school? That whole “stopping an actual demon with magic” was just a regular Friday for you? I’ll chalk that up to the brainwashing, otherwise I might go full on rage and throw my laptop out a window.

I guess our merry band of protagonists weren’t paying attention to big cafeteria scene, because they just now figured something suspicious is going on.

Still haven’t fixed the lights in that dim corner of lockers. Fortunately, there are many dramatic confrontations to be had.

I think we’re supposed to see Rarity’s obsession with the outfits as a ridiculous thing, but I think it’s important to distinguish this universe from the one with the professional seamstress who has unicorn magic at her disposal. This is a teenager who has school, extracurriculars, and parents to contend with. If I went through the trouble to hand-make seven costumes for my friends, then found out no one would wear them, I’d be pretty ticked off as well.

Now this is how you montage. We get to play a fun game of “guess which characters are in which band,” and seeing their “humanized” designs. Lotta bootcut pants in this show.

I’m just going to leave this here...

This is some actually effective villainy. The whole school has turned against each other. Maybe they need to learn about the magic of friendship. Unfortunately, the gang is too busy squabbling over band stuff, and Twilight is too distracted to give an overly emotional speech.

No one in the rule book does it say magically turning into a pony is grounds for disqualification...I would assume.

If we’re being honest here, the Dazzlings are better performers than the Rainbooms.

And we’ve come to the crux of things. The scene where they’re locked under the stage is the perfect example of my biggest issue with this movie. I do not like to see Mane 6 fight. I don’t like Trade Ya, I don’t like Putting Your Hoof Down, and I despise Look Before You Sleep. Seeing this otherwise close group of friends constantly have petty arguments, even if it’s for completely valid plot reasons, make me want to turn the movie off. This isn’t a criticism of the screenwriting, it is just a reason why I personally dislike Rainbow Rocks more than the other films.

Of course, they make up because this is about the magic of friendship and what not, but notice how no one actually apologizes for their behavior. No, “I’m sorry that I minimized your contribution to the group or made fun of something you were passionate about.” I realize they were under the influence of magic, but they also knew that! They knew the Dazzlings had the power to turn people against each other! An apology is just a preamble to fundamental behavior change, and if they don’t realize why they were being bad friends, how can they learn from anything?

And the real kicker is, they knew what the Dazzlings were capable of. Twilight read a book about them immediately before going through the portal. It’s not they they just learned that they spread chaos. Why are we fighting? Gee, I don’t know.

DJ-ex-machina. I’m ok with this.

To the movie’s credit, the finale really has one of the best song of the movie. And by that, I of course mean Trixie’s song. Trixie is the most fun addition to the cast. She makes for a fun antagonist, on her own and as a Pawn to the Dazzlings.

Fight scene! Fight scene! We’re gonna have a fight scene!

Now that they’ve put their petty squabbles behind them, it’s time for a big music battle. The Dazzlings pony up harness the energy of the audience to project their Equestrian selves to...I don’t know. Take over the world or something.

This isn’t even their final form

Oh. This design looked better in book form

Sunset is Magic. That’s the show.

So the stones auto-tuned them, and that made everyone mindlessly antagonistic. I’m sure there’s some clever commentary there.

T’was the magic of friendship that killed the beast.

No, you don’t get to just rejoin the plot

Thank you, Trixie.

The real story here is how Principal Celestia will pay off the press.

Thus Twilight goes back to the land of horses, Starlight has been truly forgiven, and my Netflix suggestions will never been the same again.

I want to give a big shout out to the person who put all the captions on the image gallery for this movie’s wikia page. They are funnier than I could ever hope to be.

Some general thoughts:

The scene of Twilight awkwardly yelling “Friendship is magic!” to a room of confused teenagers is the cringiest thing I’ve ever seen, but it got a good laugh out of me. Look at the Dazzlings faces in this scene. “Ok, we legitimately didn’t see that coming.”

One of the reasons that I am so drawn to the show is that they are able to create conflict and drama without being mean-spirited. I have to deal with that kind of nonsense so much in my daily life, I just don’t want to subject myself to eighty minutes of it. But i get it: from a narrative standpoint, this is the most cohesive. There’s some good set up and pay off, and an actually intimidating villain who is actually present in the plot.

I love Trixie so much, I should be dead. She really is the star of the show. I forgot how little we saw of her before season six.

The stinger, oh the stinger. Forget what I said about the pajama party; it was worth sitting through this for the promise of an interesting sequel.

We’ll get to you soon, you marvelous lesbian disaster.

Starlight’s redemption is the best part of this franchise, and it’s worth all the nonsense to hear Rebecca Shoichet’s angelic voice.

From a purely film standpoint, this is probably the best one of the bunch. It has a clear structure, everyone’s motivations check out, there’s an actual climax that feels earned. I just don’t enjoy it. There are worse ways to spend eighty minutes 3.7/5

The worst thing to come from this, however, is the terrifying merchandise:

What Fresh Hell is This?