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aquanova99 · 4 months

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Haunted (Cato x Reader)

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Part 12

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Y/Ns POV

This was suddenly so uncomfortable. Not because you didn’t enjoy Cato’s company but because you had to make it seem as if this had never happened before. He begins asking questions you know he knows the answers to, you respond the way you’re supposed to. Laughing intermittently, placing your hand strategically on his arm. Him doing the same but placing his hand on your thigh, brushing a stray hair out of your face. So rehearsed. A perfect execution. Its infuriating.

Neither of you have talked about the kiss the two of you shared. You are almost certain he regrets it. Well, maybe not. But why avoid the topic, or avoid trying to kiss me again? Rationally you know you have to separate your emotions, you know it gives the capitol more to take from you. No one could know about the feelings growing for him. If they were real and not something you are clinging to simply because you need someone then everyone needs to not know. The victors were still undecided on whether snow knows of the act. Take away all of their leverage. Which would great except it wasn’t true at all. Not for you. You couldn’t even think about anyone else. Anything else.

You refocus on your lines. Everything is going perfectly, you could feel people begin to stare as you try and be ‘quiet.’ You wait for the next cue. Five…four….three…two…one…

Cato leans over to whisper something in your ear, “Are you still doing okay?”

You pretend to look surprised and lean over to whisper something back, your hand covering your mouth. “All good. You?”

He nods as if you’ve said something interesting. This is exhausting. How are we supposed to continue doing this? You think about Peeta, and how you’d hated every second of acting regardless of how much you grew to care for him. It was also very easy because no matter what his plans were, he was a great conversationalist. Must be part of deal, I guess. You eventually get ‘interrupted’ by Cashmere, who tells you both to stop isolating yourselves. You go back to the bigger group, and you wonder if Mallory has figured everything out. You hope not. You decide to make more small talk with some of the people who are also worn out from all the dancing, some peacekeepers look at their watch and Darius more or less warns you its time to go home. Everyone is worn out by the time you arrive back at the victors village, Haymitch is too drunk to even walk so Cato and Mallory half drag half carry him to your couch.

Mallory slurs a good night and heads to bed, Amal teasing him about having to carry Haymitch. Cato collapses on the couch next to you. His arm covering his eyes.

“I don’t think him getting black out drunk was part of the plan…” He grumbles

“No, I doubt it would be.” You chuckle, “I wouldn’t think anyone from district 2 would struggle so much moving one person.”

He opens his eyes just to glare at you. Cashmere and Enobaria laugh before saying goodnight. You ignore Cashmere telling the two of you to behave and pretend you don’t hear it. You didn’t want to acknowledge anything other the agreed upon relationship. Both of you depended on each other to avoid any more Capitol advances. You both chose to ignore that night. Well, you tried to ignore it but you couldn’t deny you had thought about how warm you felt upon him kissing you. It ignited a hunger unlike any other, a hunger you didn’t really understand, but you both silently seemed to agree that it was best not to entangle yourself any more than necessary. So, you both seemed to silently agree to deal with the nightmares the remainder of the week. No wonder he was tired. You wished you could just know whether this stupid plan was going to work or not already. Especially because there was no guarantee this would go farther than the two you “falling in love.” I’m sure the capitol would eat that up, two people forced to be kept apart. Best to keep hope at a minimum. Avoid any other feelings you can’t really explain. There may be no avoiding your fate, a life serving the people in the capitol…you can think of nothing worse.

Well… that’s not true. You would gladly do that if it kept your family, your friends, safe. Maybe this plan kept you safe too, that would be nice. You know winning the games painted too large a target on your back, on your family’s back. But maybe you could their attention elsewhere, focus their at you. You bite the inside of your cheek so hard it almost bleeds. The anger will be directed at you…and Cato. And the though of him being punished because of you turns your stomach to lead.

“You’re doing it again.”

His voice makes you jump, you know he knows but you ask anyway, “Doing what?”

“Getting paranoid about all of this.” He gestures with his free hand, and you get slightly irritated that he doesn’t even have to look at you to feel your anxiety rise.

“I’m just hoping Haymitch doesn’t throw up on my floor.” He chuckles and finally looks at you, you quickly stand up and cover Haymitch in a blanket. Trying to avoid any of those feelings that were desperate to complicate things further. You enjoyed his friendship first and foremost, and you weren’t willing to risk that right now by not understanding what exactly you were feeling. So you continue to find things that need to be done, you grab a bucket to put next to Haymitch, grab a wet rag to put on his forehead. You head towards the kitchen to grab him a glass of water before you can acknowledge Cato again, “You should get some sleep.”

“You too.” He starts to walk off but before you can decide whether you feel relief or frustration he stops at the foot of the stairs, “have you been able to?”

You play dumb because you both know the answer, “Able to what?”

“Sleep.”

You take a deep breath, trying to stop your shaking hand from spilling the water over Haymitch as you set it down. “Not really. You?”

“Not at all. Come with me?”

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Catos POV

You really need to know when to leave things alone. You want to tell her not worry about it, to forget about it. But you can’t. The words don’t come, you think in reality, because you wouldn’t mean them. You can only blame yourself. You shouldn’t have kissed her. You needed to prove to yourself you didn’t feel anything for her, not like that. You swore it was guilt for hurting her, or the need to repay her for not treating you the same way everyone else did. No, the only thing you did was confuse yourself further because that wasn’t what you were feeling at all, and the only thing you did was confuse yourself further. Not understanding why she pulled away so quickly, not understanding why you wanted to pull her back, not understanding when you started muddling your thoughts and feelings together.

You could she was hesitant to answer, like maybe she was confused on everything too. And why wouldn’t she be, you had all but ensured that. But for her to accept out of pity… “Sorry. Just forget about it.”

You walked as quickly as you could to your room. You barely changed out of your clothes before collapsing onto the bed, you knew full well this wouldn’t be a peaceful sleep, but may as well try. Maybe it would help you forget how stupid you felt.

It didn’t.

Your nightmares had started off as they always did. You watched yourself in getting ready to run towards the cornucopia. The usual it seemed, you never thought you would long for the usual. Because once it started changing, you felt frozen. People you knew were in your games. People you hated to admit you cared for… Enobaria, Haymitch, all of them running away in the bloodbath. And you were still hunting them all down, unable to stop. You tried to protect them maybe take the hits, but the other you, the one you were always forced to watch would always win. As the games continued you knew what was coming. But you could never quite reach yourself in the dream, as if something always prevented you from taking over and stopping the monster everyone would label as Killer Cato.

It was time for the girl, Dhara. Fuck. The only girl who once made you hesitate was hunched over, same as the games. She seemed bigger this time. She was crying, begging for you to spare her. No… Stop you scream at yourself internally. You know its useless, you’ve never been able to stop yourself. This was different… when she looked up her usual tear stained face wasn’t the one who had haunted you since you won. Oh my god. Stop please. This isn’t the girl. Y/n tear filled eyes look at you through a curtain of messy tangled hair…

“Please…”

Stop. Please. You are trying reason with a dream. Try as you might to stop it, and you do everything to try and stop. You still watch yourself brutally kill Y/n. You scream useless protests. Its supposed to be quick. Its always quick when it’s the girl. Why is the you in the dream dragging it out. Its brutal. You see yourself picking her and pushing her against the cornucopia completely stopping her airway, the worst part is Y/n is still screaming for help. She seems to see you but the you attacking her kills her the second she reaches out. You don’t follow yourself after he’s done. You look at Y/n’s lifeless eyes and you start begging her to stay with you though you know its worthless. Her eye’s still unblinking but her lips start to move. Barely managing to get a whisper out. She’s mouthing your name. This is exactly what would have happened and it makes you sick. Her body begins disappearing and you find yourself panicking trying to figure out how to help

“Cato!” Y/n whispers angrily. You start to feel her arms try and shake you. Your eyes pop up and you begin thrashing. “Stop. Its okay.”

You feel hands gripping your shoulder. You feel stuck and you can tell your pushing Y/n off. You’re surprised at how string her grip is. But your body isn’t listening, its hard to breathe... Your eyes shoot open and you shoot up freeing yourself instinctually. Your head is whipping around. Your eyes are still adjusting to the dark when she sits in front of you and grabs your face, forcing you to look at her.

“Stop.” She almost hisses at you.

You cant breathe right, you blink to focus on her face. Panting as you order your body to breathe. The lifeless eyes that you saw in your dreams don’t match the person in front of you. Before you can say anything she throws her arms around your neck and you have a brief moment of panic before you can hug her back. You realize your holding her as tightly as you can without injuring her, afraid of seeing any damage done while you were unconscious. Her hand is stroking her your head and neck. Your throat feels dry. Before you can offer a hoarse apology she pulls back to look at you.

“Are you okay?”

“Did I hurt you?” Is the only thing that comes out of your mouth

She shakes her head, “No. I’m fine. I’m worried about you.”

She should be worried about herself, you think. She tries to lift up your face to look at her, but you can’t. You used up your words. Your eyes squint as she turns on a lamp. She should just give up. No use talking to you in this state. But that’s not exactly her style.

“Okay. Its okay. Uhm…” Her words are barely registering, “Can you move your head? Can you nod for me?”

You can slightly feel your head lift up and down twice.

“Okay. Is there anything I can get for you?”

You force your head to shake once.

“I’m going to lay you down, okay?” You finally look at her, her hair is a bit disheveled but nothing like what would haunt you if you went back to sleep. You don’t protest as she gently pushes you back down. You spot the scar on her arm, healed but a reminder of what you were capable of. That the nightmare isn’t too far off from reality. Her hands gently brush the side of your head.

“Should I go?”

You grip her other hand. You feel her place her other hand on yours and peel it off. You start beginning to hyperventilate again before realizing that she is only doing what you asked and laying down. You try and shift to give her as much space as you can. She stares at the ceiling and starts humming some kind of melody. Your eyes struggle to stay open and you try to focus on your partner, your ally alive and breathing. Alive. When it finally does register that everything is okay you fall into a dreamless slumber.

You wake to the smell of breakfast wafting through the house. You r hand reaches out and finds no one beside you. You have a brief moment of panic before realizing Y/n is likely the source of the smell. You try and hurry down, offer some help and an apology for worrying her.

“Good morning! I invited Katniss and Prim over today. Thought I would start with breakfast since everyone was sleeping in.”

“Morning…” You debate bringing it up, but its not something you think she would want to hear, “Can I help?”

“Everythings almost done, I’ll wait on the eggs since they cool down almost immediately when Katniss gets here.”

“Okay.” You decide to start washing up the dishes building up in the sink and try to make yourself useful, “Thank you by the way.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You feel a squeeze on your shoulders as she walks by you and continues keeping busy.

“Did you sleep okay?”

“Of course I did. I hope you got some better sleep.”

“I did.” Thanks to you, you think. You want to say more but people begin filtering in. Amal is quick to run and begin helping you with the dishes, cheerful as always. Mallory gets handed some food and walks out the door, probably for their parents. Amal begins talking away and you’re glad for the distraction. When Mallory comes back with Katniss and Prim, you’re asked to wake everyone else. Haymitch takes the longest but his stomach wins out. Brutus decides to stay back.

“Good morning everyone!” Cashmere floats in, “Y/n, you didn’t have to do all of this!”

“After last night I think everyone could use some food. Please, everyone grab what you would like. You try not to notice Katniss sulking. Prim and Amal immediately begin livening up the room but you’re watching Y/n. Her and Katniss go outside and you have to force yourself to not try and figure out what they’re talking about. Its clear she planned this, maybe since the outing was scheduled to debrief with her “cousin.” You wondered if she had caught on to what Y/n was doing and exactly how much did she already know. And why wouldn’t she talk to you about it? When they come back they both seem more relaxed and the younger kids get Katniss to socialize. Until Y/n brings up something you’d been unaware of.

“So, Mal…did you ever talk to Brutus?” Y/n asks

“Yeah me and Amal have been training. We’re getting better.”

You and Prim freeze. She speaks first, “You’re training?”

“Well, we’ve uhm” Mallory clears his throat, “we heard rumors sometimes family members get picked for the games. Its probably a coincidence but, you know my names in there a few times so I thought I’d train.”

“Its smart. If you guys get reaped then at least you have a chance.” Katniss murmurs.

“I wish I was strong enough to train.”

“Its not always about strength.” Cahsmere shrugs, “some kids use brains, some are fast, others hide, some just have good aim.”

“Then…could we train too?” Prim squeaks out, “My sister has her name in there a lot. And I already got called so maybe they’ll call me again.”

“Would that be okay?” Katniss asked

“That’s a lot of kids.” Haymitch grumbles, “it could draw the wrong attention?”

“Would you be able to not say anything to anyone else?” Y/n asks, she stares at Katniss and they both seem to communicate with eachother without saying a word

“Yes.” She answers back

“We’ll figure something out.” Enobaria continues eating, “to be honest Katniss, from what everyone says. You really maybe need to gain more weight. Oh, and definitely you would need to practice charming the Capitol. If you can do that you could win.”

“That’s the most important thing?” Prim asks

“You have no idea, kid.” Haymitch grabs a muffin and stomps back toward his house. Y/n stares for a moment before standing up.

“I uhm, need to step out. Hopefully I can join you guys in a training session without freaking out. I’ll see you guys in a bit.” She rushes out and you don’t need to look to know shes going to try and talk to Haymitch. The group disperses soon after. Katniss and Prim are given food to give out how they see fit, and Mallory and Amal take some as well to deliver. Its only just occurring to you that this must have taken Y/n hours. You wonder if she actually did have a good nights sleep after all.

“Stop pacing Cato, just go check on her if you’re so worried. We’ll clean up.” Cashmere smiles. You try not to be annoyed at how ridiculous you’re being. You try and prove you don’t need to need to go out, and you get frustrated that you consider listening to Cashmere’s advice. It’s a couple hours before Y/n comes back. You force yourself to stay seated when you hear the door.

She sighs and sits next to you, her head leaned back against the couch, “Its been a day let me tell you.”

“Everythings okay?”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t tell me about…”

“I know.” She says simply

“Why?”

“I didn’t confirm it until today. We obviously aren’t ready to train anyone. I needed to focus on one thing at a time.”

You cant decide if you accept or hate this answer. “Everyone else knew.”

“Brutus must have told them, I had no idea they knew.”

“Is that what you were talking about with Katniss?”

“Yes.”

“There more.” You know theres more.

“She wanted to make sure I was fine. Which I am.”

“You mean…”

“All I mean is she wanted to make sure I’m fine.” You can tell shes refusing to say it

“She wanted to make sure you’re safe because of me…” You realize you haven’t asked anything, only confirmed all of your worries. They weren’t questions but facts. And you wanted her to say it.

“Because we both freaked out. Kind of like you’re doing right now.” She laughs, “Its fine, I promise.”

You cant, its all you seem to do lately. She reaches out and squeezes your hand. You hold onto it and sit together in silence for awhile until the door opens and her brothers come in with news.

“Everyone says thank you!” Amal beams

“They also keep asking us whats going on with you two.” Mallory sits in front of you and Y/n, you both take a quick look at each other and know they still cant know anything. Y/n laughs first.

“I enjoy his company but theres nothing going on. Just getting to know each other I guess.”

The older of the two glares at you, “I’ll be honest I do enjoy her company more than most people, but we there’s nothing going on. Right?”

The best lies have a hint of truth in them. There really isn’t any hiding that you would rather spend your time with her. Its easy. And you needed easy in your life. But, this is supposed to a drawn out act. So, hopefully she knows how to play along. She does. She holds you gaze for a little longer than you were expecting.

“Uh huh right.” He faces the younger one, “pay up.”

Amal pipes in, “Dang it. Now I have to do extra pushups tomorrow.”

“You guys bet??” Y/n exclaims and throws a pillow in their direction. And they all burst out laughing

“Too easy.” Mallory says. Y/n steers the conversation back to what they saw when they were giving out the food. Mostly its rumors about the two of you, which works in your favor. You can see Cashmere getting close and listening in. Definitely about to report to everyone else. The two hear Enobaria practicing some kind of music and curiosity gets the best of them when Cashmere tells them they can go see. Giving you both a thumbs up before leaving.

“Amal’s going to lose it when he finds out he was ‘right.’”

“He can make Mallory make it up later.” You joke

She chuckles, “Yeah…I did mean it by the way. About enjoying your company.”

You smile at her reassurance. As if she knows your worry about this only being an allyship, “I meant it too.”

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Y/N’s POV

While you’ve learned to love your stylists, they sure have a way of making a girl feel insecure. Flavius and Venia, tsk and sigh about your nails, your hair, your eyebrows… You want to start asking questions about their life in the capitol and let them talk about themselves. But you had an unexpected visitor and your mind is anywhere but here…

Earlier…

You had been taking the last two months to adventure more and more into the forest. Back to the woods you had loved for so long. It was a good way to try and get your bearings. And truthfully, you missed the comfort of the woods, of the solitude it brought. You went as early as you could, especially now that the victory tour was near. You could kind of see Cato wanting to ask to go, he never did and you were glad for it. The more outings you had the more conflicted you felt, you slept together almost every night. It was easy to rationalize you had an ally to watch your back but it was draining trying to decipher what part you were both acting out and what part was possible feelings building for each other or your feelings specifically becoming entangled. The closer you got to the victory tour the less the two of you spoke, further making things irritable and more confusing. So, you did what you always did when you were stressed. You ran to the woods.

You realistically would say yes if he wanted to go with you, but you knew he was wary of anything that might take him back to the games. You wanted to tell him what happened wasn’t his fault, but then you worried that would make it worse. What if he thought you saw him as weak? It was too confusing. So better to let him ask if he wants to go.

“Y/n! Did have a nice walk around the square?” Cashmere ran up to you and kissed your cheek.

Immediately there a chill down your spine. You blink and perk yourself up, “Yeah I just stopped by my cousin’s house.”

“Oh how nice!” Cashmere says in a still too cheery tone, “Good news, we have a visitor.”

Two peacekeepers suddenly appear to usher you into the mostly unused study. Your senses are overwhelmed with the smell of perfume. He looks at you as if you’ve spit in his rich capitol food. You’ve never felt more like running and hiding. And you hate that he’s made it so easy, all he had to do was walk in and sit down. If he’s here, its not good. You wondered where your brothers were. What about the other victors? Is this whole charade over? Did you mess everything up? Were they safe?

“I think we'll make this whole situation a lot simpler by agreeing not to lie to each other,” he says. “What do you think?”

You know if he wanted to, you’d be dead in one second and an alibi would have been planted days ago. So, you had some kind of power here. Right? So, what was it? And how do you find out what it is?

“Sounds good to me.” You smile, “What can I do for you?”

He says something about knowing you wouldn’t be difficult but all you can think is what would happen if jumped across the table and killed him, would the peacekeepers get here fast enough? Would it affect anything?

You agree to cooperate. You don’t feel like dying today, especially not for him. You won the games, couldn’t he leave you the hell alone?

“That's what I told them. I said any girl who goes to such lengths to preserve her life isn't going to be interested in throwing it away with both hands. And then there's her family to think of.” He smiles, “Her brothers, parents, and all of these new friends you’ve been making.”

Okay? Get to the point. You sit down and try to not make a face at the floral stench hitting your face.

“I have a problem, Miss Everdeen,” says President Snow. “A problem that began the moment you pulled out those poisonous berries in the arena.”

You were counting on this. But, since he has to make a whole speech. You have time to analyze what to say. Luckily, you’ve been practicing.

“If the Head Gamemaker, Seneca Crane, had had any brains, he'd have blown you to dust right then. But he had an unfortunate sentimental streak. So here you are. Can you guess where he is?” he asks.

“I can guess.”

“There wasn’t much to do but let you play out your little scenario. And you were pretty good too. The people in the Capitol were quite convinced. Unfortunately, not everyone in the districts fell for it.”

Interesting.

“So, the districts have been giving you trouble.” You don’t ask. He told you as much. You’re terrified, do the districts even have the people to fight against the capitol? But you cant let him know that.

“Not yet. But they’ll follow if the course of things doesn’t change. And we wouldn’t want a revolution, would we? So many people, dead. The people left would live in terrible conditions. Whatever problems anyone may have with the Capitol, believe me when I say that if it released its grip on the districts for even a short time, the entire system would collapse.”

Worse than the conditions now? If actually cared about the citizens of Panem. He could have found a way to unite the districts and the Capitol. Right? Why so many years of the districts paying for a war that was long over? Worse still, why are the children paying a price that does not involve them. You think of little Rue, and your resolve turns to steel.

“Berries can do all that huh?”

“Unfortunately. But perhaps, not in the way you would think. You do remember our meeting after the games?”

“Of course, you were mad I allied with Rue. How should I think about this then?”

“For starters, you need to make the districts realize all victors want is to come out of the games.”

You’re thrown back to your interviews with Caesar. How Haymitch told you to either be heartless or in love. You weren’t either. Just someone who had cared for their allies a bit too much. You could barely breathe when you finally sat in front of Ceasar.

“So, Y/n. We’re dying to know. Did Peeta win you over because I have to say I think we were all heartbroken when we found out he couldn’t come back.”

“Me too. I can tell you with absolute certainty that I loved him. I don’t know if I ever allowed myself to fall in love though?”

“Really? Why not, you two were a beautiful couple! Am I right?” He laughs

“I think at first I didn’t want to get my hopes up, and then when I realized I could keep him I did everything to try and bring us both home. But I think he knew deep down there was only going to be one victor.”

“So the berries then, was that love or strategy?”

“Of course it was love. He was the only one who understood me, the kindest person to ever be on the games and I wish it could have been me who ate the berries instead. He deserved it—” I start tearing up and while Ceasar is trying to console me, I wipe my tears from my face searching for Haymitch. You mean every word but this has to believable. I see Haymitch secretly give me a thumbs up while crossing his arms. Soon everyone around us is getting choked up. “I don’t know if I will ever figure out if I was in love with him but I know I grew to love him while I was there. Its too painful to think about anything else.”

“Of course it, of course it is.” Caesar wipes his eyes and concludes the interview. Its easier to lie when theres so much truth involved in it. The only other thing you talk about is wanting to come home.

“You want me to lie…”

“It isn’t a lie.” He insists, “Did you not want to come home?”

“Of course, but I meant what I said about Peeta. He was my priority then. I wasn’t tricking him with the berries. I meant it.” Not really, you knew it would get you both home, one way or the other. You were just hoping the way home was alive. “Effie has already instructed me what to say, Panem today, Panem tomorrow, all that good stuff.”

“And do you continue planning on being a martyr?”

“You mean for the allied districts?” He raises an eyebrow in response, “I plan on thanking them, what else can I do?”

“See to it you make no more mistakes, we wouldn’t want your new friends to be found associated closely with twelve.” He pulls out a device that displays a picture of you and Cato speaking to eachother the other night. He has no idea, you think. “These mentors are purely for show. If you care about all of your allies dying I’m assuming you wouldn’t anyone else to suffer for your mistakes.”

He hits a button and two peacekeeper come and throw Cato on the ground. You cant help yourself, you rush over to his hunched over body. He has a bruise on one of his cheeks and his mouth is dripping blood. They must have attacked him when he wasn’t ready. Protected or not these peacekeepers didn’t look as strong as him. You knew he would have taken them easily.

“Cato?” You try and talk to him but his entire body is shaking, you can tell he’s doing everything to not go back to his arena. You should give him space, but you cant peel yourself away, what kind of ally would you be then?

“District 2 wouldn’t take kindly to a victor associating with your kind. They’re as close to capitol as it gets. You wouldn’t want him to be an outcast in his own districts now would you?” He is so clam about all of this, as if hes won. He has no idea how much disdain Cato has for his district. You wonder how little he actually checks on the career districts or if its just his pride of getting his way for so long.

“I suggest you focus on the cards Miss L/N. Wouldn’t want any one else to worry, you and all those…cousins.” He offers you a rose while you’re still kneeling next to Cato, his breathing finally slowing down. You force yourself to stand to accept the flower.

“Oh its beautiful, I never see these around here.” You pick off a petal and eat it, just to make yourself seem as uncivilized as he seemed to think of you and your home. His face seems to fall for only a second before leaving as quickly as he came. You wonder where all of your fears that had built up had gone to. Regardless, the panic had settled back in and the ramifications of how you had spoken to him began to dawn on you. You would need to talk to Haymitch. Immediately but first…

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Cato’s POV

Your body ached all over. You can somewhat feel your body being led to a chair and you try to remember how you got there. Try to remember anything about this morning.

Y/n had gone out to the woods, and you had been sitting in your room looking over that damn packet you had memorized weeks ago to try and not think about her being out there alone. You knew you could have gone with her but it felt like it was something she needed to do alone, or wanted to anyway. You also knew the victory tour was stressing her out to the point it seemed she wanted almost nothing to do with you. Besides at night anyway. But even then she seemed like she was pulling away more and more each day. You had just decided to refocus on the packet when your door slammed open.

Your panic immediately set in. What were peacekeepers doing here? Did they find out your plan, and if they did where was Y/n? Was she okay?

“We need you to come with us.”

You remember trying not to jump to feeling like you needed to attack them. But before you could ask them to give you a minute, you felt a shock to your body. And then they were all on you. They hit your face first. Then you felt a foot kicking your stomach. You didn’t seem to register anything but needing to get out of there. Two of them restrained you while one more punched you again to stop you from struggling. By the time you were thrown in the room you couldn’t tell where you were. You could hear Y/n say your name but you were frozen. You were fighting to figure out where you were, fighting to not shut down, fighting to ensure you didn’t harm Y/n in another waking nightmare.

You feel something cold against your cheek. It somewhat alerts you back to your surroundings. You blink slowly, the pain in your body finally registering and spreading throughout most of your body. You wince and Y/n reflexively pulls her hand back.

“Sorry.” She whispers as she puts the cold rag back on your face.

“What happened?”

“We got a visit from the President.”

“Are you okay?” You can hear the panic in your voice

“Are you?” She tries to joke but her face is serious, “Why did they grab you?”

“I think they thought I was dangerous. They kept saying to make sure I was neutralized? I don’t know…”

“I’m so sorry Cato. This is all my fault.”

“This wasn’t your idea, remember?” You can see her eyes are still glassy from crying, “I’m fine.”

“You aren’t. Stop doing that. Your body is bruised all over. You need to go lay down. I’ll be there to check on you soon.”

“Where are you going?”

“I need to see Haymitch.”

“Im going with you.” You try and stand up but your vision gets spotty and you immediately know if you make any other move you’ll fall face first.

“Don’t be stupid.” She hisses as she gently sits you back down, “I need you to get some rest, okay? For me, please.”

“I can go, I’ll go slow.”

“No! Just—I need…” She takes a deep breath before shouting, “Cash!!”

She runs in immediately, “He’s okay?”

“As much as he can be, I need to take him to bed. Can you get Haymitch? Just Haymitch?”

“Okay, I’ll drag him over here myself if I have to, but Y/n… its almost time.”

She nods at Cashmere and refocuses back on you, “Alright, stand up. Slowly…”

You decide to listen to her. The amount of time it takes to get you up to her room feels like an eternity. How late was it? How long was her meeting with Snow. How long did it take you to snap out of it? She lays you down and sits next to you,

“What time is it?”

“Don’t worry about it. You rest, as soon as I’m done with the interview I’ll come back. I need you on that train with me, so rest.”

You only nod. You both know rest wont come. Even in this state your nightmares persist. You can sleep, not with the Y/n’s prep team talking over eachother in excitement. Enobaria comes up and enters her room.

“What happened?”

“Y/n filled me and Cashmere in on everything when he left, Cash is trying to talk to Haymitch about it now that everyone is distracted. She doesn’t want Brutus aware. He threatened her with severing you from 2. Look, I know you don’t have any connections back home, but it could make an enemy out of 2 for this place.”

“Or an alliance.”

“Not likely, but it may encourage enough people to not think of themselves as… Capitol.” She mumbles. “We probably wont be allowed to come back after the tour.”

“What??” You sit up and almost immediately regret it again.

“Things are getting tense with the districts. The more the people in the capitol root for you the better the chances are. Listen to Y/n and sleep. We’ll get you when its time to leave.”

You weren’t very good at following directions. You turn on the tv in her room, and wait for the interview to come on. Her makeup is more subtle this time around. You think she looks nice regardless, but you like it better when they don’t completely change her features. She cheerily greets Ceasar saying she never expected to live this kind of life after winning the games…that was true. Then he asked about her life, whats new, and surely she has all of the boys wanting her attention now

‘Oh I don’t know about that…’

‘Come on, surely someone has caught your eye!’

‘Well, maybe but its hard to think of anyone in love with me, especially after… well you know.’ She sniffles and wipes at her eyes, you wonder if that’s true. All you can think about is Darius, how he flirted with her, how her friend from the seam was so possessive over her.

‘I do.” Ceasar says empathetically, ‘I think he would want you to be happy first and foremost. And I bet theres someone you can open your heart to one day.’

‘Maybe one day, but my life is different from their—I mean from everyone that I don’t know if I could see that happening.’

You see Ceasar look up for just a moment, she had planted the start of your story seamlessly. You knew Ceasar would push on her “mistake” in another interview. But for now he moved on, ‘And the other victors? They’re treating you well?’

‘Of course! I’m so thankful that Capitol cares about us victors enough to help us after everything.’ After everything you put us through is what you think, and you figure most of the districts will think, but the Capitol? They would eat that up. Even Ceasar is glowing about her praise. About how thoughtful and kind they are around there. Implying everyone else could simply never be so gracious. If it was up to the districts though, you doubted we would even be in this kind of situation. You think about that for a second, no games. Being able to travel form district to district, you wondered if you would have met Y/n in that life.

‘And you’ve had no issues handling any of the victors, I heard you got a bit more than you bargained for.’

‘I did, but they’ve been very good about only having two of the victors help me adjust. I think the other two just got stuck here in my little district. I hope they don’t hate me too much for that.’ You went from hating almost every person you came in contact with to never being able to imagine hating her, and consequently her family, some of her friends, her home. Always more and more a precarious situation to be sure.

Ceasar finished the interview praising her for her new talent that kept her games alive, why baking was a good reminder that being united as Panem would prevent from any further punishments like the hunger games from happening again. As if the districts hadn’t paid over and over for their role in the war. As if they weren’t sending children who had nothing to do with the war to die for something that happened over seventy years ago. Hypocrites. All of them. Y/n seems to echo your thoughts, her body language shifts and her smile becomes almost too forced. You find yourself wanting to tell her to ignore them, that she’s almost done.

You wait until Effie Trinket starts chattering away to turn off the television and then wait to be dragged to the train station.

“So. Did you rest or just worry the entire time?” She says as she walks back in.

“Do you want the actual answer?”

“I think I got it,” she smiles before sitting next to you, “Are you ready?”

The train ride isn’t too bad at first, though everyone becomes more visibly anxious. The victory tour is slower, not like the one day trip to the capitol. So at night, everyone tries to avoid sleep. To avoid the triggers that would make you all believe you were heading back to the games for the first time. Y/n becomes more and more silent as she anticipates facing Rue and Thresh’s families. Needless to say, you all arrive at District 11 extremely fatigued. Well, besides Y/n’s prep team anyway. Y/n’s face pales at the clear restrictions put in place to keep the people here in line. Everyone but Haymitch and Effie goes up with Y/n, with the cards she is supposed to recite. The mayor makes introductions, and you can see her frozen, staring only at the families of the fallen. When the mayor introduces her she makes no movement at first.

Her breath is shaky when she finally steps up to the podium, “Uhm…I-I’m sorry.”

She takes a deep breath and reads off Effies cards, she makes no effort to move from her place, only staring at Rue’s family, “I thought I would come up here and thank you for your children and the sacrifices they made. I wouldn’t be here without either of them. I couldn’t save them and I’m so sorry for that. I see them everywhere, take them everywhere I go. They were more than my allies, they were my friends. I wasn’t fast enough for Rue. I cant repay Thresh for saving my life. And I know I’ll owe them forever. I’ll remember them forever. There isn’t enough I can say to apologize for making it when they couldn’t and not there isn’t enough grace to thank them for all they did for me. It was more than anyone could ever know.”

Her voice is breaking the entirety of her speech. She forces herself to breath through it, not allowing pity to go anywhere but towards Thresh and Rue. You hear Brutus sigh and mumble something under his breath. An old man holds up three fingers and whistles the simple tune Rue, Thresh, and Y/n had made to signify they were safe. You think of how much a relief it would be to y/n to see the rest of District 11 acknowledge the bond the kids built out in something so terrible, but the panic in her eyes gives you pause. You look out to see peacekeepers grab the old man and drag him up the stairs, you look back to see Y/n screaming and kicking at the peacekeepers to let him go, to let her go so she can help. One might think she actually knew this person. They throw her back in the justice building and Haymitch grabs her before she can try and fight her way back out. The peacekeepers gun point at Y/n and her team as they scream for them to get back.

“Haymitch I wasn’t trying to start anything! I need to help him. Please!” Shes fighting to get back out, he moves his head telling you to take his place. You dont know why you didn’t intervene earlier. You thought her state when you first got to twelve was bad. But this…she was completely broken. You remember only seeing her get like this in the games, after Rue, after Peeta. You couldn’t help and you didn’t know what to do. You held on tight, trying to ignore her pleas to let her go. You only hold tighter.

“Y/n. Stop. Come with me.” Haymitch pulls her and begins walking away as Effie starts reprimanding the peacekeepers. You look to see Brutus still overlooking the crowds. You don’t know if you actually want to find out what happened or not. When you turn back Haymitch and Y/n are gone, and you have no idea where they went.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

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