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askornaut · 8 years

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Let’s draw Lots- 5s!

tagged by @emygrl99

Five things you’ll find in my bag:

Lipstick! usually at least two.

Pen/s. Usually in fun colors!

papers- old pay stubs, my index card with friends’ addresses on it, receipts, etc.

My wallet!

My house key! I havent needed it in years but i still keep it with me!

Five things you’ll find in my bedroom:

lots of lamps. I have Danger Lamp aka Bugle Lamp, my UV lamp to help me fight seasonal depression, my built-in desk lamp, and my star projector!

listen im not saying im a slob who cant commit to anything but you will definitely find a small foldaway table in the middle of my room covered in old sewing projects that i abandoned.

speaking of which, my sewing machine! I love my Husqy! She’s twenty years old and is a little cranky but still does all the work, just me like me! (give a take a few years for each of us..)

My toolkit! A DIY enthusiast turn home improvement amatuer can’t get away without one!

my bottles! I have a corkwood bottle from Iberia (spain or portugal, im not sure which.), an Arabic coke bottle, my vintage Coke bottle that broke and I worked to repair, and a glass soda bottle from Mexico!

five things I’ve always wanted to do in life:

travel the world!!

listen ive always waffled on my life goals and that aint gonna change ever but i do know ive always loved helping people and ive always wanted to do something in STEM in terms of a career so rn my dual goals are run a foster home and be an aerospace engineer

fix things. help people. improve lives, make people happy. any way i can.

*dudebro-esque chanting* ROAD!!! TRIP!!! rOAD!!!! TRIP!!! ROAD!!!! TRIP!!!!!

im sorry im so indecisive ive done my best but that is??? literally everything that ive wanted to do my entire life and technically speaking two things that I haven’t??? im sorry i mean i learned a language everything im doing now is just extra credit and i havent always wanted to go to college and everything else pretty much??? covers it??? ive done my best and will continue to do so but it isnt much

five things that make me happy:

making someone else smile!!! that is The Best(tm)

Wizard of Oz stuff! It makes me feel like maybe I will belong somewhere someday.

My friends!!! Nothing can make me grin more than just a few minutes spent chatting with any one of them!

The pursuit of knowledge! I’m really at my best in an academic environment, namely if it’s free of NCLB and everything that public school is. So, basically what little taste of college/homeschool I’ve had.

SINGING! even on days when i truly hate everything, i’ll still sing just to keep a little joy in my heart.

Five things I’m currently into:

Drag. I’ve watched what feels like every SFW drag-related video on YT at least a thousand times and I’ll still watch them more.

Voltron is nice, but i have trouble watching because of the darker tones in the themes. It can overwhelm me if I’m not careful. S2 is looking brighter and easier to consume, though!

I’m always a s*** for the Wizard Of Oz!!

art..? can i say that??? i havent sculpted or painted in over a month, can i still say that???

aromatherapy!!! I have two candles rn, though normally I have at least 3, plus a tart warmer, plus some lotions! (im not super into skincare though, so i dont use the lotions as often.)

Five things on my to-do list:

Clean my room

Clean the kitchen

get my borderline hoarding family (myself included) to get rid of things we dont need. We practically have enough excess furniture to furnish a small apartment. Sparsely and with three desks, but still. hell, we even have a spare mattress/boxspring/bedframe! WHY??? ARE WE KEEPING THESE???

get a job. I desperately need income, but i also need to clean, and that takes forever, and....

get my driver’s license. that’ll solve an issue or two.

5 things people may not know about me:

I’m selectively mute! Well.. i was when I was a kid. It comes back during my worse moments with autism. For the most part these days I just have trouble grasping the words. I can think of a sentence in my mind but i can’t force my tongue and lips and vocal cords to work together to make the sounds. I try to carry a pen and paper at all times when im around new people so I can communicate no matter what.

I got my first smartphone when I turned seventeen. I got my first decent one (okay actually my current one is Super.. but the last one was at least two generations old and it was showing by the time i got my own.) last July. I’m almost nineteen now.

I learned to sew when I six years old, before my fine motors skills were well developed! You can see it when i sew while I’m tired- i dont move my wrist the way you’re supposed to, instead i keep my wrist more or less still and move my arm/shoulder!

I am allergic to 45 different things. Most of it’s pollen, fur, etc, but I am allergic to avocados. I had to carry an epipen on me at all times for a few years as a result!

I never learned to ride a bike! I learned to ride a scooter, but that’s terrible exercise compared to a bicycle. I grew up in an area that is literally nothing but hills and i was too afraid of losing control and getting hurt as a kid to even get on a bike, much less learn how to ride.

#long post #dash stretcher #personal #crap i forgot my personal tag #for the 'if' in life #FOUND IT!

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burkedeboer · 6 years

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I Look For Trouble

4 M, 1 F.

Blake Bartels is soon to be the first in his family to graduate high school. When he goes to his sister’s trailer to deliver the news, he encounters the rodeo cowboy she’s been hooking up with - as well as her boyfriend who’s just broke out of prison.

In one of the many trailer parks on Oregon’s High Desert, Lacy Bartels’ singlewide is about to get very crowded.

This piece was written in the fall and winter of 2016/2017. Full text below the break.

The unkempt singlewide trailer of LACY BARTELS, 23. Her hair is kept in boxer braids. She sits at the folding table in her kitchen, in a busted sort of chair, working on a two stroke dirt bike motor. She drinks beer. There’s another chair at the table, empty, with a leather jacket draped on it. On the back of the leather jacket is a big biker gang sort of back patch. “APES OF DEATH” across the top, “CENTRAL OREGON” across the bottom, sandwiching a cartoon baboon riding a motorcycle and swinging a scythe. Across the room, a barstool is duct taped onto a chair, jutting out in an improvised sort of something that renders both seats unsittable.

(A call from outside.)

BLAKE Y'ello?

LACY Blakester! In here!

(Enter BLAKE BARTELS, 18. He packs a skateboard.)

BLAKE What up.

LACY What up yourself. You want a beer?

BLAKE If you're offering.

LACY I believe I just offered. So what’s up?

BLAKE Maaan... I got some good news.

LACY Yeah?

BLAKE What are you doing next Friday?

LACY Same thing I do every Friday. Work and party.

BLAKE Well between those two, if you think you can fit it in your schedule... I'm walking at graduation.

LACY Get out.

BLAKE I won't.

LACY Get the fuck out!

BLAKE Motherfucking graduating!

LACY Holy shit! Gimme a fuckin' hug! Blake Bartels is gettin' himself a degree!

BLAKE Holla atcha boi!

LACY I'm hollerin'! I'm so proud of you. For real, I'm so proud.

BLAKE Thank you, thank you.

LACY Damn. You making announcements, right? Invitations and shit?

BLAKE I don't know about all that.

LACY Oh you got to. Send them out to all the aunts and uncles. They send you back a lot of cash.

BLAKE If that's the case.

LACY And they gotta send you more since you're the first in our family to ever do it.

BLAKE Is that the rule?

LACY Hell yeah! That's the rule for the graduation party, give you at least a hundred bucks or they don't get in.

BLAKE Hell of a cover charge.

LACY Shit, you earned it. And you're gonna have a graduation party too, by God.

BLAKE Only if you plan it.

LACY I'm not planning shit, but you are having one.

BLAKE You know you're gonna have to quit telling me what to do once I get this diploma.

LACY Bullshit. Even if you have a fancy paper, I'm still the oldest.

BLAKE Yeah but that fancy paper gives me a leg up.

LACY We'll see about a leg up. Ben has a leg up, with all his concrete money, but I’m the boss of him too. You know what, yeah, you’ll get a leg up, all right, when I fuckin’ pin you.

BLAKE Give me as much time at the mill as you've had and you won't.

LACY Okay. No. I'm gonna stop you right there. Nuh-uh. Not happening.

BLAKE What's not?

LACY You and that mill. You got a fucking degree, Blake, you're not going to any veneer plant. And you’re not working concrete with Ben either.

BLAKE What am I supposed to do then?

LACY You're gonna go to college, for one.

BLAKE Ah, fuck that.

LACY Well you're gonna do something. You're too smart to end up here. You've got that goddamn paper to prove it, too. It's gonna say "This diploma goes to Blake Bartels, smarter than all other Bartels before him, and too smart to end up working on a fucking gluepress. Or whatever the fuck."

BLAKE I mean... Sure, I got plans. But I'm done with school, like I've had enough. I’m gonna get me some skating sponsorships.

LACY X-Games and shit?

BLAKE Something like that.

LACY I can dig it. Aim for the stars. Even if you don't make it that far you'll land some place better than here.

BLAKE You don't like Redmond?

LACY I love Redmond. But you are not me.

BLAKE We're not that different.

LACY We're not different at all. You're just smarter.

BLAKE If you say so.

LACY I do! And you’re not gonna do none of that Apes of Death shit either. I already told Hunter flat out. You are not allowed.

BLAKE Like I’m into motorcycle stuff anyway.

LACY Yeah. Yeah, good. And here’s the rule: If I see you come drop off your application at that front office I'm kicking your ass.

BLAKE Lacy.

LACY Hey, I'm not saying you can't do it. If you do end up working with me, or at any other mill, fine. But just know. Before you start your first day, I'm kicking your ass.

(Enter MANNY LOPEZ, 26, from the bedroom. A broad-shouldered and strongly built rodeo cowboy. He is barefoot and barechested. He looks at LACY. Looks at BLAKE. BLAKE looks at him, then looks at LACY.)

LACY All right, I’m gonna go see if the Husqy will start now. (She takes the motor and exits. MANNY takes her seat and pulls on a shirt. An awkward silence.)

MANNY Congratulations.

BLAKE Thanks.

MANNY You know, if you can balance on a skateboard you can balance on a bull.

BLAKE What?

MANNY (He goes to the barstool contraption.) I’m just saying. Rodeos can have a big payout. (He sets to practicing bulldogging: He drops in next to the stool that juts out, swings his right hand onto the other side of the stool with the palm out as though to grab the body of the steer, then swings his left hand up as if over the saddle horn. His two hands then slide up to grab the “horns” of the stool and he swings his feet behind him, taking the chair to the ground. This action is very sudden and explosive, but very studied and deliberate. He sets the chair back up. He continues to repeat this action.)

BLAKE Oh, ah, nah, I’m not really into that redneck shit.

MANNY Redneck? No manches, man. Es ranchero. Cowboy.

BLAKE Well rednecks and cowboys, they’re kind of one in the same.

MANNY No mames, güey, quit playing.

BLAKE What are you doing?

MANNY Practicing. For bulldogging. I need to shave time off if I hope to make the finals. I’ll tell ya what I really need is a new horse. I keep jumping the gun and breaking out of the runway before the steer does. That’s a penalty. Or I get going too late. Keep missing points, man.

BLAKE I’m sorry.

MANNY Mm.

BLAKE So are you and Lacy--?

MANNY Don’t gossip about family, primo.

BLAKE I’m not. Just asking. ‘Cause, you know, I thought she was with Hunter.

MANNY Yeah well Hunter’s in prison and a woman has needs. Not that you want to know that about your sister.

BLAKE Eh, we’re all adults. MANNY “Adults.” Fuck that. If someone told me my sister had needs, I’d punch ‘em.

BLAKE So you want me to punch you?

MANNY I told you no manches. Quit playing. I’ll tell ya what though, if I don’t get to Vegas for the Finals, this fall I’m going up to Washington. They have apple orchards and pear orchards for miles. Every fall a big harvest. Good money. You should come.

BLAKE Yeah?

MANNY Hell yeah. Good money. Not as good as rodeo money, but if you’re not into redneck shit…

BLAKE Yeah, not really.

MANNY I’m telling you, Blake, rodeo makes good money. Especially bull riders. Belt buckles, cash prizes. And all the cowgirls all over you, man. Ay, las chicas. Las vaqueras son muy calientes en sus Levi’s. ¡Cómo los jeans cuando abrazan a un culo! Y tè echan los perros, y dicen “¡Bailemos, bailemos!”

BLAKE Sorry man, I don’t speak Spanish.

MANNY What the fuck, is that what you’re gonna tell ‘em? ...Cabron. I will teach you how to talk to girls in Spanish.

BLAKE Oh, yeah, thanks.

MANNY I’ll be your Cyrano. Your fuckin’ Rodeo Cyrano.

BLAKE Yeah, like I said I don’t speak Spanish.

MANNY Man, you get to Vegas you can win a million dollars from one ride. One ride, win a cool million. If you can balance in the halfpipe you can balance on a bull.

BLAKE That’s what I’ve heard.

MANNY You do have some start up costs, I won’t lie to you. Do you have boots?

BLAKE Like cowboy boots?

MANNY …Yes, Blake.

BLAKE No, I don’t have any.

MANNY Okay. That’s a chunk of change, just getting boots. I might have an old pair. Then you got your bull rope, helmet if you choose to wear one, a hat if you don’t. Most white guys wear helmets these days. You also need to get your vest, glove, boot straps, and rosin.

BLAKE Well I don’t really have the cash for all that.

MANNY No problem, boss. I’ll front you all the cash. No problem. Just loan it to you, you can pay me back, 30%.

BLAKE Thirty -- You know loan sharking’s illegal, right?

MANNY Quit playing. I need to buy a better horse. All there is to it, I need to save up some money, make some money. I need a better horse.

BLAKE Well maybe Washington apple money will get it for ya.

MANNY Mm. Mhm. You know the first time I went up to one of them, I’d been working on a ranch down outside of Jordan Valley. It was a buffalo ranch. There were some white boys working, and some immigrants, but mostly it was us Chicanos. Now the BLM, they’re a bunch of fuckers. Trying to get between a man and his land. “Are you using water right,” “Are you grazing right." Bureau of Land Management. Bureau of Assgrabbing Horseshit, I say. Bunch of government putos from the fucking government de la chingada. You know what they started doing?

BLAKE What’s that?

MANNY They started coming onto the ranch asking for documents. Anyone who was brown they tried to kick us off. Federal fucking government came asking for my passport, I told ‘em “Shit, motherfucker, I’ve never been outside of this country.” Me and this older Chicano, name of Diego, him and I decide “Fuck this.” He’s old as hell, he tells me about the Washington apple fields. So we go. We work until our first place is done, work until our second place is done, keep working ‘til we get every apple picked. Could make about a hundred dollars a day doing that shit, I mean we’re rolling in it.

BLAKE Why’d you leave?

MANNY Why else? Time passes. Things change. You can’t pick apples in winter. So we went back to the buffalo ranch.

BLAKE Huh.

MANNY Yep. Then Old Diego fell off the barn we were thatching and cracked his head open. Never saw brains like that before. (Outside, a motorcycle starts.) Mierda. (He goes out the door.) ¡Mi estrellas! ¡Tu pinche moto funciona! (BLAKE watches him go. The motorcycle is heard driving away. BLAKE sips his beer. He goes back to the chair and picks up the jacket. He observes the patch. He flips it on. His back to the door, he kicks his weight back onto the tail of his board and kicks the nose up. Standing such, he finishes his beer. KENAZ BEN CANAAN, walks up to the steps. 28, with an edge about him - both in how the world sees him and how he sees the world. He wears a long sleeve plaid shirt over his t-shirt, and has chains and bandanas hanging around his pants. He observes BLAKE.)

KENAZ You know you’ve got to earn them colors, right?

BLAKE (Pops the board to face KENAZ.) Hey Hunter, I- I, uh… (He tries to get the jacket off as quick as he can.)

KENAZ Calm down, kid. I’m not looking to start a tummel.

BLAKE Start a… Yeah.

KENAZ I don’t mean you get to keep it on.

BLAKE Oh, right, no. (He takes off the coat and extends it to KENAZ.)

KENAZ Lacy home?

BLAKE Nah… Nah, I don’t think she knew you were out yet. She didn’t say anything about it.

KENAZ Well, she wouldn’t know, as little as she visited me.

BLAKE Oh. Uh, Lacy was just working on that Husqvarna, got it running. So that’s where she’s at, she just, uh.

KENAZ She’s always been a real Yiddisher kop when it comes to motors.

BLAKE Oh… Yeah.

KENAZ This is some welcome wagon.

BLAKE Well, no, it’s great to see you, Hunter, I-

KENAZ All right, that’s enough with the “Hunter” stuff. That’s not my name no more. In fact… (He pulls up his jeans and gets a flick knife out of his boot. He takes the jacket and cuts the nametag off from beneath the VICE PRESIDENT tag.) I'm gonna have to talk with Mad Dog about getting a new tag printed.

BLAKE Oh… What’s your name?

KENAZ (Tucks the knife back into his boot. Offers his hand.) Kenaz Ben Canaan, nice to meet ya.

BLAKE What was that?

KENAZ Call me Kenaz. It’s Hebrew. It means Hunter. In Hebrew.

BLAKE Word.

KENAZ How old’re you these days, kid?

BLAKE Eighteen.

KENAZ Eighteen. You think you’re a man?

BLAKE Uh…

KENAZ Yeah, I did too. Thought I was a man. Thought I was a big tough man. I didn’t know. I didn’t have a clue what being a man actually meant. I should have been here for you, Blake. I should have seen you grow.

BLAKE That’s okay.

KENAZ I don’t regret it though. If I hadn’t gone to prison I wouldn’t have found the truth. Kind of funny how life works, right? You have to go through the desert before you can get to Yisrael. If I never went to prison, I would not have realized. “A man does not commit a transgression unless the spirit of madness is entered into him.” Yes. I always knew I was thirsty, Blake. I never knew I was thirsty for God’s flowing waters. I always just thought I was jonesin’ for H. (The dirt bike’s approach is heard. Both turn towards the door. BLAKE turns back to KENAZ.) That must be Lacy.

BLAKE No! Uh, no, I’m sure it’s not, probably not, I mean she just left.

KENAZ Well if she was just going around the trailer park it wouldn’t take long.

BLAKE No, please, sit down. We’ll, we’ll make it a surprise for her! So stay here and I’ll go… Just stay here. (He rushes out the door.)

KENAZ …Okay. You got it. (He goes to the MANNY’s bulldogging contraption. He stands over it. Then he picks it up. His brow creases.) The longer I look at this the less I know what I’m lookin’ at. (LACY enters. The two of them look at one another. Pause. KENAZ drops the practice steer and goes to her, but she avoids the hug.)

LACY Hunter. What are you doing here?

KENAZ I have returned to my homeland.

LACY They didn’t… You’re… Did they release you?

KENAZ No. No, Lacy, they did not release me. But He did. The eternal He. I surrendered my soul to Him and, Bezrat Hashem, I was guided to freedom. I am as Yona, who repented in the sea beast’s belly, and was vomited by the fish.

MANNY (OffStage) Let go of me, Blake! I’m gonna kill that fucker!

BLAKE (O.S.) No no no, wait!

LACY So you found Jesus in prison? KENAZ Ohh, Lacy. Far from it. Yeshua was a great philosopher, yes, but not Mesheach.

LACY I don’t know anything you’re saying.

KENAZ Well let me explain it to you.

MANNY (Storms inside) ¡Ay, puto! Are you Hunter?

KENAZ No.

LACY Manny, wait.

MANNY Then who the fuck are you?

KENAZ Who the fuck are you?

MANNY I’m Manny.

KENAZ And just who are you, Manny?

MANNY Wh-- What, like existentially?

LACY Hunter, I think it might be best-

MANNY So you are Hunter! Well fuckin’ news for you, there’s a new sheriff in town, and his name is me.

KENAZ Lacy-- You haven’t been-... Have you?

LACY Hunter.

KENAZ Oh my God. While I suffered and yearned…

LACY Let me just lay this out.

KENAZ You don’t need to lay nothin’ out. I get it. I fuckin’ get it. You… You Delilah. I knew it too. I fucking knew it.

LACY You weren’t due out for another five years! I told you when you went in, I’m not waiting seven years at my fucking window.

(BLAKE enters, hanging up his phone.)

KENAZ Aw Jesus Christ.

MANNY You gonna unclench those fists, or are you gonna use ‘em?

LACY Blake, you should go.

KENAZ Nah nah nah, no one’s fucking leaving here.

MANNY You’re wrong about that, son. You’re leaving, soon as I boot you out that door.

KENAZ Stay the fuck back! (He pulls the knife from his boot.) Yeah, all right. Get away from the door. Everyone, get over there. LACY Hunter what are you doing?

KENAZ Stop calling me Hunter!

BLAKE That’s not his name anymore.

KENAZ That’s not my name!

BLAKE His name is Kenaz now.

KENAZ My name is Kenaz!

LACY You fucking broke out of prison and you come to my trailer to hide out. You want to make me a felon too?

KENAZ You’ll only be a felon if I get caught.

LACY Bullshit, I won’t be a felon if I don’t hide you either.

KENAZ Lacy… I’m your boyfriend!

MANNY No you ain’t.

LACY Manny.

MANNY Don’t “Manny” me, Lace. I want you to choose, right now, me or him.

LACY Let me handle this.

MANNY This psycho who hasn’t been here for you, for years, who’s holding a knife at us, or me?

KENAZ Yeah I’d like to hear that too.

LACY Hunter, listen-

KENAZ Fuck you! Don’t call me that!

MANNY Don’t tell her to fuck you, you fuck you!

LACY Manny-

KENAZ You slut.

LACY Hunter-

MANNY Lacy you need to choose, or I’m bailing on all a’ y’all.

LACY Me! That’s my choice! That’s what I’m always gonna choose! I’m the only one who’s always here. At the end of the day, when the prison’s in Pendleton, and the rodeo’s in Pocatello, or some other wherever the hell else that ain’t Redmond, Lacy Bartels is the only one looking after Lacy Bartels.

KENAZ Everyone take your phones out, throw ‘em on the floor.

LACY No one’s gonna call the cops anyway.

KENAZ Come on now, empty ‘em. (They do.)

BLAKE Don’t worry, I already called Ben. He’s on his way.

LACY Hey, all right. We don’t call 911 but we do call family.

KENAZ Then I’ll gut him too when he gets here. Just gotta figure which one of you motherfuckers is first.

MANNY Why don’t you try to start with me? Come on, I dare you.

KENAZ The slut fucker himself, why not?

LACY I’m about to-

KENAZ Shut the fuck up! (He strikes at her with the knife, missing, and catches her with the side of his fist on the comeback. A fight ensues, in which MANNY should use his bulldogging contraption as a weapon and BLAKE uses his skateboard. But ultimately, consistently, KENAZ kicks ass. At the end of it, LACY’s on the ground, BLAKE’s been flung, and KENAZ holds a knife to MANNY’s throat from behind.) God damn it! You see what you made me do? You see what you made me do, you selfish bitch?

BLAKE Hey, hey, Kenaz, let’s just calm down.

KENAZ You two stay the fuck away. Don’t make me spill the beans.

MANNY Puta muy pinche--

KENAZ What was that?!

MANNY (A grunt of a whisper as KENAZ pulls the blade tighter.) Ay, chingada…

LACY Okay… Okay, please put the knife down.

KENAZ This son of a bitch has no respect for my woman! Why should I have any respect for him?

BLAKE Kenaz, please-

KENAZ Shut up Blake!

LACY Just calm yourself-

KENAZ You go to hell! You cheating whore, you go to hell! This is all your fault, so you just go to hell!

(BEN BARTELS enters. 21, the definition of built like a brick shithouse. He wears work boots and a Ford t-shirt tucked into his Wranglers with a massive belt buckle. Everyone stops and looks at him.)

BEN Now how am I supposed to fuck this heifer?

KENAZ Stay the fuck over there, Ben.

BEN If you want me to stay over here the first thing you gotta do is put the knife down. The second is you gotta quit cussing at me. The third is you gotta walk your ass over here ‘cause it’s getting beat one way or another and I don’t care what side of the trailer I beat it on. How you doing Lacy?

LACY I’m okay.

BEN My sister’s okay. That’s good news for you, now I might not break both your legs. How you holding up, Manny?

KENAZ Oh I’m gonna cut this beaner’s throat.

BEN With a knife like that you couldn’t cut baling string. Not a day out of prison and you’re so scared of working for a living you want to head back.

KENAZ Keep talking, Ben. You’re next on my list.

BEN Next? Why aren’t I first? I guess you have been in prison awhile if you figure giving a reach around is a fight. Why don’t you quit hiding behind Manny? Come get a taste.

KENAZ I’m not hiding nothing.

BEN Everyone knows that if it wasn’t for the assgrabbing you’re giving my friend Manuel right now I’d be giving you your own jawbone for a hat.

KENAZ You want me to cut his throat.

MANNY Chingaaa-

BEN Quiet, Manny! This is between myself and Hunter.

KENAZ My name isn’t fucking Hunter anymore! I’m Kenaz! I’m Kenaz!

BEN Oh shit, so you go to prison and join the Nation of Islam.

KENAZ It ain’t Arabic! It’s Hebrew.

BEN Hebrew? You’re Semitic now?

KENAZ When you convert to Judaism you’re considered to have always been Jewish.

BEN I know you, and you ain’t Jewish. If I cut a duct opening into a concrete wall it does not stand to reason that that concrete wall has always had that duct opening. So you can’t pretend to be tough anymore, they must have found you out. Now you have to pretend to be Jewish?

KENAZ I’m not pretending! I’m not!

BEN Man, back in the day folks used to be scared of dudes who rode motorcycles. But you’ve all done so much meth and heroin that you got so damn skinny I could pick any of you up and slam the guts out of you just like field dressing a snowshoe hare. You can’t tell if someone’s in a biker gang or just got out of Auschwitz.

KENAZ Don’t joke about HaShoah! BEN I don’t think I’m joking about it because I don’t know what that means. You gotta quit pretending with this fake Jew stuff, I can’t keep up.

KENAZ It’s not fake! And I’m not pretending! I’m not! (Shoves MANNY to the side) Come on, motherfucker! Come on!

BEN Come on? Your face, is that what you want? (KENAZ charges BEN, who smacks him upside the head. With the single hit, KENAZ sprawls across the floor. Everyone is silent for a moment.)

BLAKE Yeah Ben!

BEN I did not think that would work at all. (MANNY scrambles over to KENAZ and starts pummeling him.)

LACY You’ve always been a good bluff, Ben.

BEN Yeah, well.

LACY Manny.

BEN Come on, Manny, get off the poor boy. (He takes MANNY by the back of the neck and guides him off KENAZ. Calm and gentle, yet forceful. KENAZ lies sputtering on the floor.) What do we wanna do with him?

LACY Dump him off at the cop shop.

BEN Wanna file a report? LACY I don’t want to talk to police any more than I have to.

MANNY Well I’m filing a goddamn report. I don’t care about you guys’s “Don’t call 911” whatever.

BEN You wanna take him in then?

MANNY Yeah, I’ll take him in. I’ll file the report. I’m suing this pinche culero. Get ready to pay for my new horse! Fuckin’ moto puto bitch... (He picks KENAZ up, wrenches his arm behind his back, and the two exit, MANNY muttering. The three siblings look at one another. BLAKE sighs, BEN cracks a grin, LACY shakes her head. All react in their own different ways that are somehow the same.)

LACY I better go ahead and go with ‘em. Don’t want them to kill each other between here and there. Thank you, Ben.

BEN Hey what’s family for? They’ll want your story too. If Manny’s filing, we’ve got some court appearances ahead.

LACY ...Yeah. Yeah, that’s fine. Fucking cops anyway. (Before she exits, she turns back in.) And good work again, Blake.

BLAKE What?

LACY On graduating! Good work, dummy. I’m serious about those grad announcements, bud.

BLAKE Oh, I know.

LACY And I'm serious about the mill.

BLAKE I know that too.

LACY Watch yourself, kid. (She exits.)

BEN (Produces a pack of cigarettes.) Graduating, huh? (He begins trying to light his cigarette, but the lighter’s all out of juice.)

BLAKE Yeah, man.

BEN Ain’t that some shit. Good for you, kid. So what’s next?

BLAKE Ah, I don’t know. I’m gonna try to get some skate sponsorships.

BEN Hm.

BLAKE Maybe. I mean, I don’t know.

BEN (Pushes down the toaster.) Well if that’s what you wanna do, go for it. I mean I don’t really get it my own self, but don’t let that stop ya.

BLAKE Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking.

BEN Cool. You know I almost graduated. Got a lot closer to it than Lacy.

BLAKE Yeah I know.

BEN I just remember when I was your age, everyone had all sorts of advice for me. Especially senior year. That’s all senior year is, man, that’s all you get. Getting told what to do. It’s like, everytime someone comes through a door “Hey, this is what you have to do.” Then someone else comes in. “Go to college.” “Go to work.” “Do it this way.” I figured, fuck it. (He sticks his face down into the toaster and lights the cigarette through the slot. He straightens up and unplugs it.)

BLAKE Yeah, for sure.

BEN ‘Cause the truth is no one’s got it figured out. The whole world’s a big bluff, kid.

BLAKE That’s reassuring.

BEN Don’t be sarcastic at me. You have dinner yet?

BLAKE Nah.

BEN Well I’ll tell ya what. That standoff got me hotter than a Branch Davidian. I’m gonna run on down to Sno Cap, cool off with a milkshake. I’ll buy ya dinner.

BLAKE Mom always taught me better than to turn down a free meal.

BEN There ya go. I’m gonna go give Haley a jingle, let her know everything’s fine. She was real worried when I stormed out. Wives, you know?

BLAKE Word.

BEN exits. BLAKE looks after him. He goes to the bulldogging contraption. He gets on his skateboard, ollies over the contraption then kickflips offstage.

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