#hyperfixation so strong i may actually write more than one fic for the fandom. this is crasy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

redleavesinthewind · 1 year ago

Text

elliot's 2023 fic wrap up

2022 version

alright friends it is once again time for me to review the (many) fics i read in the previous year and try to write a more or less concise rec list of my absolute faves (i wish i didn't have to chose but heh i'm not gonna subject anyone to 332 fics in 1 post - also wait only 332 fics? that's like. over 100 less than last year, what the fuck. anyway)

okay now first the part that interests no one but me (yes you may skip this) and that's the numbers part! i'm not making a whole elaborate spreadsheet to then not throw around cool numbers. anyway.

i've read around 4,932k words in 332 fics across 18 fandoms. that is much less than last year, and yeah, i've been generally less productive in 2023 but we don't have to talk about it. at least i have more variety of fandoms this time (let's ignore that it's only 2 more and also that from fandom 13 on there's only 1 fic per fandom)

i started out the year strong with 847k words across 72 fic in february (followed by 753k across 42 fics in january, and 621k words across 63 fics in march). it goes downhill for the rest of the year. eh it wasn't my year so what! 2024 is gonna be more filled with fic reading again!!!

my top 3 fandoms are so entirely unsurprising to me i am almost disappointed in myself. when did i become so predictable. top fandom is young royals with 166 fics! congratulations young royals, you are a very persistent hyperfixation, you didn't peter out after 2 months like i expected. Spot number 2 is taken by avatar the last airbender with 41 fics! giant leap there, but it's also funny because i fell into an atla rabbit hole late 2023 (as i do every few years) and it still got up to 41 fics despite uni not allowing me to read last semester (uni is evil). Same as last year, spn takes third place with 38 fics. speaking of persistent hyperfixations.......... *big sigh*

and that is it the boring part is over let's go to the fun section LET'S REC SOME FIIIIIICCCCSSSSSSS (under the cut)

JANUARY

bet you you'll ... (noraverse) (series) by @gh0sthugs | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 52k words

a kid fic!! and such a sweet one too! i'm kinda weak for kid fics ngl, and nora is so sweet and wonderful, and the relationship that slowly forms between wille and simon is beautiful and comfortable. this whole series is just such a good time

spreadsheet notes: ah to fall in love with the dilf next door who also happens to be the ex crown prince of the country

A Royal Intervention by AnxiousAnaconda | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 18k words

erik is being such a dumbass in this one. like, he means well, but he's kinda messing up and pissing people off (understandably). it's nice to get a view on erik that's not portraying him as this perfect guy though, and the fic is actually so much fun to read. and hey, the prime minister of luxembourg gets mentioned, which i was kinda waiting for in yr fic ngl

spreadsheet notes: big sigh... erik you fucking idiot. stop listening to august. also shoutout to xavier bettel apparently (edit: this aged poorly, fuck xavier bettel)

and each slow dusk by @if-fortunate | young royals, wilmon | mature | 49k words

okay. ooookay how do i even begin with this one. ohhh boy. okay. so. world war three. wille gets stuck in bjärstad with simon, many many things happen, it's about finding hope in a horrible situation and trying to live life despite everything falling apart around you. it's incredibly well written and something about it just has me in awe

spreadsheet notes: i don't know what it says about me that this is without a shadow of a doubt the best fic i have ever read in my life

Put Me Back Together and Take My Heart by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 50k words

i once again don't know what to say, this one is sooo good. simon is suffering and both wille and i hate it, but... but wille is there for him and ugh, they just... they just can't be apart. a story of reconciliation and healing from both physical and invisible wounds, and of making the right decisions for yourself

spreadsheet notes: ugh. UGH. my guys. MY GUYS. yeah let's go blackmail the queen

Department Six by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf | gen | 4k words

a fun short one about stiles and danny working for the fbi and being delightfully weird and mysterious

spreadsheet notes: HILARIOUS i'm in love with outsider pov always

FEBRUARY

There Are No Wolves in California by @thisdiscontentedwinter | teen wolf, sterek | gen | 5k words

you know, sometimes you see a fic you know is going to hurt you, and you've never clicked on anything faster. this is definitely one of those fics

spreadsheet notes: let's be wolves today yeah well derek what if i just break down and cry instead

you got my body, i got your body by @prince-simon | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 9k words

this one's technically part of a bigger series (which, definitely read that one too), but i'm highlighting this one cause... damn... this made me feel things... like, gender things... which is really weird cause wille's gender in this is very much different from mine BUT STILL

spreadsheet notes: how almost 9k of pwp gave me so many gender feelings i will never understand

Changing Channels: Queer Premiere by @emeraldcas, @fellshish | spn, deancas | gen | 27k words

this might actually be one of the funniest fics i've ever read. dean and cas are so stupid (affectionately) and all the crossovers are delightful (bonus that i knew all the other shows). everyone go read this it's gonna be the best time

spreadsheet notes: mel and fells have genuinely outdone themselves this is the most hilarious shit i've ever read

Catalyst by @stretchoutfics | young royals | teen&up | 3k words

a backstory for boris! this fic is within a series of other side character ficlets, but this one has a soft spot in my heart

spreadsheet notes: AAAAHHHH HE KNEW ABOUT THE RECKLESS DRIVING BUT DIDN'T BRING IT UP but also... him being a gay man trying to help the queer crown prince navigate his sexuality that's kinda nice actually, like boris understands at least a bit

The most beautiful boy by lovelysarcastic | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 88k words

there's something incredibly grounding about this fic. the way it develops, the way wille rationalises his thought processes, the way the relationship between wille and simon develops... this fic just kinda sucked me in and spit me out again feeling... content and calm and... it's just... this fic is so beautiful

spreadsheet notes: dude i love this so much??? they're both so stupid??? i love them???

MARCH

All's Fair in Love and Hunting by @badjoices | spn, deancas | mature | 20k words

they're playing gay chicken but also are being incredibly competitive and stupid about it, and i'm just sorry about the shit sam has to witness. so many shenanigans in this fic

spreadsheet notes: they are both so stupid omg

["mi cotufita" started sharing their screen] by @omar-rudeberg | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 60k

so... this is a follow up to one of my favourite fics and it is a delight. very horny but also very sweet? and also for some reason there's porn. fun times! oh, and this fic made me cry. it really has the range

spreadsheet notes: how are they so horny it's so funnyyyyyy, but also if i were wille i could never look linda in the eyes again

A Light To Guide You In The Dark (Warmed By The Fire's Glow) by 80shairmetal | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 19k words

this is just... people taking care of each other out of the kindness of their hearts. finding comfort in strangers who become family. growing and helping each other. there's such a beauty to this one

spreadsheet notes: this is just..... comfort

did you see the love in my eyes, oh were you gazing through this disguise? by @tooindecisivetopickaurl | young royals, wilmon | mature | 67k words

fake dating my beloved. they're so in love with each other but they're pretending not to be while pretending... to be? i'm obsessed with them. but they're so respectful with each other and cautious of boundaries and they really are best friends who also happen to be obliviously in love

spreadsheet notes: love a good fake dating au they're so stupid i love them

flash like a setting sun by @playedwright | 911, buddie | explicit | 22k words

because you only realise you're in love with your best friend when you're scared you're losing him. that's the fic. and it's beautiful

spreadsheet notes: oh this is sooooo beautifully written and ugh just <333

Other people's secrets by @sflow-er | young royals, walty & wilmon | mature | 239k words

yooooo hello? so first off this is an outsider pov on wilmon which i am always obsessed with anyways but the focus isn't just on them, this is henry's story. it's a beautiful story about how friendships form and warp and change, how feelings manifest in different ways, how decisions and actions have consequences. it's an incredibly mature take on post-s1, and it's probably my favourite of the year. also ace representation!!!!

spreadsheet notes: ace henry my beloved <33 also love seeing wilmon from an outside perspective! such a good, well thought out fic with lots of healthy comminication <33

APRIL

if i stare too long by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringroveson | explicit | 191k words

i haven't seen st s4 (and probably won't watch it) but that definitely won't stop me from reading harringroveson fic. i mean, who wouldn't look at those three and immediately want to see them together. the way their dynamic is written in this fic is peak, i don't even know what more to say. i also very much trust these authors with billy, and again i wasn't disappointed. there's just something in his head that's intriguing.

spreadsheet notes: this whole fic is such a vibe it makes me feel of hot summer chillin

MAY

Rewrite the Stars (series) by @in-amor-veritas | young royals, wilmon | mature | 137k words

definitely one of the highlights of the year, simon's whole life in new york... those scenes, they just show such a wonderful life simon has built for himself, and his relationship with wille doesn't change it, but he manages to fit in (after, you know, fun rom-com drama shenanigans). also. this is a kid fic. kid fics are my weak spot. rasmus is my new favourite little guy. also shoutout to luis best side character ever

spreadsheet notes: YELLING i love this fic sooo much it is everything

Where The Wind Will Carry Me by @1-life-to-give | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 49k words

AND THEY WERE ACTORS PLAYING LOVE INTERESTS. do i have to say more? the tension guys the TENSION. also erik's side-plot i'm in love

spreadsheet notes: hopping up and down like a hyperactive chihuahua EN I LOVE THIS

Your love is my turning page (the t4t wilmon as girldads au) (series) by @willesworld | young royals, wilmon | teen&up | 17k words

i know i know another kid fic BUT!!!! t4t wilmon. makes it automatically superior. i'm not even kidding, add trans characters and i will like your fic (that i probably already like a lot) aroun 300000000 times more. but also this series comes for your feelings. it hits

spreadsheet notes: i am weak for t4t wilmon AND them having a biological child there's something so beautiful about it like that could be meeee ; siiimon i need to hug him and i need to hug wille they're gonna get out of this i prommy ; recovery and one step forwards a hundred steps back, but they made it there in the end ; they were so happy :((((

JUNE

A trace of dew by nuncflore | elden ring, this is too complicated | gen | 13k words

very elden ring-esque writing style, wonderful representation of whatever the hell is going on in the lore. hehehehehhe fucked up family ehhehehehe DIVORCE. my friends are so talented :))

spreadsheet notes: CAP I AM EATING YOU

Hanging from the Ceiling by @spicymiilk | spiderverse | teen&up | 6k words

for like. a week after i saw the new spiderverse movie i made miles 42 my entire life. that also meant reading this fic. and damn did this fic hit. i am still thinking about it

spreadsheet notes: i need more miles 42 content he is my favourite guy ever

The Darkest Little Paradise by @yourdemiurge | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 79k words

*holding you at gunpoint* read this fic. read it now, in this moment. you are not gonna regret it. believe me when i say you NEED this fic, you really do. doesn't even matter if you've seen yr or not. you're gonna thank me later

spreadsheet notes: THIS IS INSANE I CAN'T BREATHE MADY WHAT THE FUUUUUCK

JULY

Protected (series) by bastuba | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 69k words

hey do you ever read a fic and you just feel. so incredibly grounded because something about the characters feels grounded? like, they aren't grounded, but they still give off that vibe? idk how to explain this properly but that's this fic. also wille and simon cook together (i haven't read all parts of the series yet btw)

spreadsheet notes: incredibly grounded very mature how is wille like this ; i'd be like wille, always complaining about the heat ; they're soooooo. idiots. getting tattoos for each other ; i too would come out on a podcast about food ; SAFE SEX

AUGUST

The Season of Rebirth by @notalotgoingonatthisinstant | young royals, wilmon | mature | 30k words

part of a series, but i'm picking out this one specifically because it's soooo sweet!!! the title fits the fic so well, like yes it is the season of rebirth, but simon and wille's relationship is also rehashed in a very cool way, this fic is like one giant easter egg, i love it so much!

spreadsheet notes: wille taking the season of rebirth to recreate their early relationship, i am obsessed with him he's such a dumbass romantic

The Upgrade by @groenendaelfic | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 13k words

it's about the moment simon realises who wille is. that's why this fic is here. i mean of course also because it is very good, but mainly because of that moment

spreadsheet notes: the moment simon realised who wille is i am wheezing

Right Where You Left Me by @armandgender | spn, deancas | explicit | 94k words

if you're wondering why this fic is on my 2023 list instead of the 2022 list.... well that's because it took me almost a year to read the last chapter, and in terms of how my spreadsheet works, that makes it a fic i read in 2023. anyway. if you haven't read this fic yet, what are you even still doing here. click on that link right now. you want complex emotional situations? intricacies of ill-advised marriages? you wanna pick through abusive behaviour and encourage infidelity? well you're at the right place! also this has one of my favourite jack characterisations ever. it also made me go on multiple rants

spreadsheet notes: I FINALLY FINISHED IT AAAAHHHH I LOVE THIS FIC THE CABIN THE CATS JACK!!!!!

Alejito y Marimar (series) by th0ughts | red, white, and royal blue | teen&up | 18k words

OBSESSED WITH THIS DYNAMIC YOOOOOO. seriously the friendship between alex and martha is an expansion of the rwrb universe that is much needed, trust me

spreadsheet notes: the friendship i didn't know i needed in my life <333 ; they're just chillin!!!

SEPTEMBER

Change of Address (series) by hearmerory | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 134k words

okay. oooookay. strap in for this one, it is a lot. emotionally. like yes zuko is autistic, yes yes yeeees, i agree, also azula is treated like an actual person with actual mental issues, she deserves to be treated with care and this author definitely does that! this is the kind of series that makes me want to disappear in it, but it's also the kind of story i need breaks from, because it is so heavy (definitely check the tags for this one). zuko's relationship with sokka is written so thoughtfully and iroh is characterised incredibly and the author even included ursa in a way that didn't undermine everything that happened in the series before she appeared again. i can only recommend this one!

spreadsheet notes (there's lots of parts to the series, so this one is long): hhhh if i were ms jamieson i would have snapped after two days probably ; be nice katara!!!!! he's nervous ; i need to murder ozai ; and i need to murder zhao as well ; iroooohhhhh he should have just. taken the kids with him that first time he noticed something off ; yeah i think there was a reason why iroh never took zuko to the movies ; ozai needs to suffer ; i need to destroy ozai. violently and painfully ; iroh is the best uncle ever, zuko deserves all his kindness ; azula...... you don't have to fight for affection, it's not a competition..... they love you ; iroh should have taken her with him the first time around, she was like. 10, he could have just picked her up or sth ; ..... hakoda you idiot ; IROH BACKSTORY IROH BACKSTORY ; sokka and the plan that changed his life <3333 ; they are so soft with each other ; they all deserve all the therapy and support and yes sokka obviously you have adhd get with the program ; URSA??????? also i am living for sokka and azula's dynamic they are everything ; i don't. i don't understand her. i don't fucking understand her how could she not want her own children. how can she talk about them like that. like she knows them she doesn't know them she LEFT

Every night my teeth are falling out by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 9k words

i was in need of some good zuko angst and oooohhh boy was i lucky to find this author. PEAK zuko angst. this fic in particular is very dear to me because it explores how mental illnesses would be handled in a world where there's practically no resources to help. i think we need that more

spreadsheet notes: yes well. how DO you deal with a schizophrenic fire lord in a fantasy world? (you stay with him and support him that is how)

OCTOBER

for years or for hours by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 52k words

listennn i love myself some good polyamory fics, and this is the first fic i read for this ship and now i am OBSESSED with them. but this fic in particular.... the concept alone, like. what do you do when you thought the man you love was dead for 800 years, and then when he comes back you have another man you love. the answer is simple. polyamory. the two men you love also love each other. perfect coincidence.

spreadsheet notes: YO the concepts of witchers in modern times alone is sooo cool but adding in everything else? hello yes?

this is a love story by @achillestiel | supernatural, deancas | mature | 3k words

listen, i've never seen fleabag, but that's not the point. this is intriguing and funny, that's the point

spreadsheet notes: fucked up families and you want to fuck the priest hell yeah

The road not taken looks real good now by @stretchoutfics | young royals, wilmon | explicit | 90k words

it's not even the wilmon part i love about this fic (i very much enjoy it of course don't get me wrong) but wille and his kids. like, i don't want to spoil anything but like. wille's interactions with his kids are so important in this fic, and they're written so well. like, emilia is my favourite character in this, i kinda wish there was more with the kids honestly. this fic is definitely a highlight of the year, and to get back to wilmon, i do love how they're portrayed in this fic, how their dynamic plays out, and specifically how certain decisions do not depend on simon

spreadsheet notes: no but. the care put into this story. i can't--

NOVEMBER

Averno (series) by @sulkybender | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | mature | 12k words

a fascinating take on a fire lord zuko that was never part of the gaang

spreadsheet notes: HE JUST DESERVES KINDNESS but also he's a little fucked up WELL NO WONDER GIVE HIM KINDNESS ; i mean.... what makes a monster really ; well then let's get him out of his cell shall we (also hiiiii suki hello <3333)

Half Awake in Our Fake Empire by @hmslusitania | 9-1-1, buddie | teen&up | 34k words

another kid fic!!! but in a different fandom this time!!! seriously, giving buck a child fills so many of my life's needs it's ridiculous

spreadsheet notes: THEY'RE A FAMILY (thank you for giving that man a child)

a soldier (who carries a mighty sword) by @ghostinthelibrarywrites | the witcher, geralt/eskel/jaskier | explicit | 92k words

everything about this fic is wonderful!! the world(kaer morhen!!)building, the developing dynamic between geralt, jask, and eskel, ciri and yenn, the conflict, jask as a teacher!!!! aaahhhhh!

spreadsheet notes: they're my new favourite guyssss this whole fic is so cool, what they've done with kaer morhen <3333

Will We Last the Night by CSHfic & VSfic | avatar: the last airbender, zukka | teen&up | 143k words

this fic asks what if sokka had been stuck with zuko since the end of s1 and delivers a delightful answer. this is the adventures of zuko and sokka (and sometimes iroh) travelling through the earth kingdom. shenanigans ensue

spreadsheet notes: i am obsessed with this i'm just. i know it was only shortly but their life in ba sing se. obsessed

DECEMBER

Grudge Match by @catcas22 | elden ring | gen | 17k words

i'm not entirely sure how to explain this. it sure is an elden ring fic

spreadsheet notes: i don't even know what to say. this is ridiculous and brilliant and stupid and genius all at the same time. hell yeah suburban demigods

Lonely Digging by @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger | stranger things, harringrove | teen&up | 3k words

this is hilarious. go read it to unlock intense life-threatening flirting

spreadsheet notes: best way to flirt billy's doing everything right

***

(quick note: i’ve tried to find everyone’s tumblr handle, but i’m aware that not all the authors have tumblr/have it on their ao3, however if i somehow missed someone, i can go back and rectify that!)

if you’ve made it all the way down here i am giving you a kiss <3

#pigeon coos #fic reading shenanigans #fic rec #ALL THE LOVE TO FIC WRITERS YOU GUYS ARE DOING AMAZING!!!!

57 notes · View notes

babblish · 5 months ago

Text

A Year in Writing; 2024 — A Retrospective

Due to circumstances I'm going to have to present this post a little differently than I normally do. You may note I basically retreated from fandom stuff, and I cannot share the fics I've published in chronological order. Nor can I share too much data in the way of word counts per each project exactly as I have done in the past.

Don't mistake me, I have been writing this year. It's just... something bad happened in my brain that isn't exactly burn out but is similar, in that presents in a way that means I don't have the cognitive capacity to write Prose™. It's been this way for the overwhelming majority of the year, and honestly I was already struggling with it for the last half of 2023.

There's a lot of reasons for this, some of them personal, some of them we're all struggling with to some extent. I could point to the increasing fickleness of fandoms, write a whole essay over how it is soooo incredibly difficult to remain motivated when no one is engaging with what you're working on, bitch about how fucking soul destroying and exhausting it is to be a disabled person in any capacity in our society, let alone one seeking access to further resources.

BUT that's not why we're here. This isn't a sob story, this is a post mortem of my writing efforts for this year. Sure it sucks to be you not able to read new additions to my fics, but the fact of the matter is I do not control the rate at which I heal, nor major life events that happen whether you are ready for them or not, and I most certainly do not control the rate at which hyperfixation.

Stats

Overall Word Count: 160303

Highest Word Count in a Day: 3227 (April 26)

Average Word Count on a Writing Day: 921

Priority Project: 118807

Other Projects: 1662

Notes, Emails, & Correspondence: 39834

What I Learnt as a Writer in 2024:

Personal private wikis and how to use them. It's still a learning curve, but each month I'm getting a little better at knowing what I need and what I can do.

How to be stronger and more resilient; knowing when it's okay to pack away a project (even it's unfinished but so close to completion) in order to focus on myself and my own immediate needs.

What I thought was strong will and resolve was actually catastrophically debilitating decision fatigue. With ADHD medication, I'm learning impulse control in ways that are downright humbling at my age.

(This is something I technically learnt as an artist years ago but...) When you're not actively practicing a skill but are still thinking about it daily, you're still growing and learning in understanding of theory that will be ready to bounce into action when you're ready.

Writing Goals for 2024:

I still want to finish Under the Wave, it bugs me to a neuroatypical degree that it remains unfinished. I cannot guarantee I'll be ready to return to it next year, but once I am ready I will make an attempt.

Outside of this I am unsure if I want to return to ToA projects. I quite like what I've done over the years and I fully support people going back and re-reading, downloading my fics, hell even binding them if you want, who even KNOWS what the internet is going to be like in 5-10 years time. (Just don't sell my fics for money or claim them as your own.)

But I'm tired, I don't know where that ToA spark is hiding anymore. I will ultimately go towards whatever makes my brain go brrrrrrrr, and for me rn that is in worldbuilding stuff and my gay little dnd guys. It is possible that finishing Under the Wave will bring it back again, but I can't make promises.

[2020 Retrospective] [2021 Retrospective] [2022 Retrospective] [2023 Retrospective]

#tales of arcadia #dungeons and dragons #fanfic #sorry if those tags bug you it's for my own blog tbh #2024 #writing #writing retrospective #nerd shit

3 notes · View notes

eyes-0f-etro · 2 months ago

Note

4, 13, 22 for fic writer's ask!

4. A story idea you haven’t written yet

So my guardian angel/time loop au THING has been in planning hell for over a year now. I have like a 40-page doc of all the story beats, characters, character motivations/flaws/fears/desires, themes, etc. But I've been so worried that I won't do this idea justice that it's been hard to actually start on... I know that if I wait until I think I'm "good enough" to pull it off, I'll wait forever, but I want to at the very least finish Death Spiral first, or otherwise get back into my writing groove. Truthfully I haven't done any writing since December because Life Events Keep Happening and it's been exceedingly difficult to write, but I miss it and would love to return to it asap.

13. A fandom you’re thinking about writing for

Umineko!!! I don't know if this has been done (I don't want to browse the Umineko tag for fear of spoilers) but I really want to write about Beatrice and Rosa having a girls day (based off their meeting and relationship in Episode 3) and getting their nails done together and then like... Hitting Kinzo with their car. Just a campy romp for fun because Beato deserves it!!!!!!!!! I am #1 Rosa hater because her treatment of Maria is waaaaaaay too much like my own trauma with my mom, but I don't have an issue with young Rosa; she's just a traumatized kid who isn't hurting anyone (yet).

I also have a couple FF7/Aerti fic ideas kicking around, including an AU where Aerith is in a all-girls punk band called Acid Pussy and she's also a werewolf. That one is fun :)

I'd love to write for Naruto someday too but the sns scholars intimidate me, I feel like I'd get one detail wrong about their characterization and never be forgiven, lol. Characterization is, in general, the thing I feel the least confident on in my writing, so there are certain pairings and fandoms that interest me but I may never write for because I don't know if my grasp on those characters are strong enough to be up to the level that might be expected? If that makes sense.

22. Do you ever worry about public reaction to what you’re writing? How do you get past that?

Oh boy, do I ever. So, jtsys being my first fic and all, I didn't know what to expect in term of feedback/comments at all. So I was blown away by the comments I was getting, and the fact that people were even going so far as to draw scenes from that fic and stuff. This was a huuuuuge motivator for me and kept me writing, but it also became a double edged sword; I became terrified every time I sat down to write that I wasn't meeting expectations. I was so afraid that people liked my work and I was going to ruin it with the next update. I sometimes wonder if that's why I finished that fic as abruptly as I did. At the time I felt good about it, but I think I was almost afraid to take risks and flesh things out because I didn't want to let anyone down. So instead I ended it kind of limply and let EVERYONE down (at least, that's my perception of it, lol).

It was definitely a big thing to have on my shoulders, and as much as I view it as a blessing, it did cause me some stress because I'm very sensitive to how other people perceive me and have performance anxiety and perfectionist tendencies. I have never let anyone read my writing prior to JTSYS because I felt like anyone not thinking it was perfect would destroy me. Similarly, I have made so much digital art that I was too afraid to post, and I don't sing anymore because I'm anxious people will hear me, etc. Stuff like that really rules me and my life -- cptsd has given me very very very deep shame. SO ANYWAY.

While working on Death Spiral, I was having trouble getting motivated, and I realized that those comments really did motivate me more than anything when I was working on JTSYS, so I posted a few early chapters even though my original intent was to NEVER post something that was incomplete ever again. It kind of worked, but in general my hyperfixations have really taken a backseat lately so motivation has been hard to come by. The lack of traction Death Spiral has gotten (in comparison to JTSYS) has actually been kind of a good thing because it feels like there's a lot less pressure surrounding that fic. Which, again, all of this "pressure" is pressure I put on myself, but. I feel a little more able to make mistakes and take risks in Death Spiral given that it hasn't blown up in the way that JTSYS did.

I don't know how to manage this going forward. I very often wonder if being a creator is not the right avenue for me because of how poorly I handle people actually paying me any attention. I crave it, but once I have it, I fall apart and it keeps me up at night. I need a stronger sense of self! I want it to be enough to be proud of what I wrote.

#buggie sounds #whew! need to rest my wrists after all that. i hope none of this comes across weirdly??#I really do view the response JTSYS got as an extreme blessing. I had never been so happy!!! I am also just A Worrier. and a people pleaser #ask game

0 notes

raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 years ago

Note

Raven, helloooo i’m doing a runaround tumblr to showcase my admiration for my favorite writers on tumblr, and you get one~!

Can I just start off by saying you're incredibly insightful and intelligent?? Your ability to grasp onto character qualities and understand each of them is incredible! Your characterization is always on point. I'd think you are a script writer from the original! I love coming across any of your theories on a character, analysis which always seem canon, or your writings! Romantic or just daily shenanigans between characters all of it is so amazing!! I love each of them! Your writing style is so smooth and fun to read! Its both detailed and telling, but also shown and displayed with the characters actions. You give them life and I love that!

You're also so incredibly patient with your audience! Your willingness to learn is also endearing and I think in general you're a really good person I enjoy seeing come up! Your content is very re-readable in my opinion and I think your blog is wonderful aesthetic wise too! It gives a sense of curiosity and liveliness. Also I adore your oc too~ I love seeing the content of her!

To conclude, I really enjoy seeing any and all of your content and keep up the wonderful work <3 be sure to take breaks as well!

For some context, I recieved this ask towards the tail end of TWST’s third anniversary (around March 18th). Back then, I was very stressed between writing Sebek’s birthday one-shot, alt!dorm headcanons, and general irl business… so the timing of this ask was coincidentally perfect 🥺 It was a nice little pick-me-up to help me through that mentally demanding period, so I’m really thankful that it came when it did!! (If I seem a little more emotional than usual, that’s why 😅)

The next thing I want to say is thank you very much for the highly detailed feedback!! 🙏 I appreciate it when my readers let me know what they think of my work—and while I’ll always like seeing a “good job” or a “you write well”, it’s the very explicit feedback that I enjoy the most. “You did a good job with X! You wrote this well!” It lets me know what specifically my strengths are, and gives me ideas on how to improve in the future or where I may be lacking or not as strong.

I’m glad that you like my works (creative writing, theories, analyses) so much!! TWST has become my hyperfixation these last few years, so I’m grateful that I have a space where I can just shout about it and overanalyze it to heck and back. It feels so therapeutic to be able to share this passion with others!

dhscuwxnks It’s an honor to be told that my stuff seems canon or that it makes you think I’m actually a writer on the dev team 😭 I feel like it’s usually hard for fans to see how much time and effort content creators put into their craft; they just see the end product, consume it, and then wait for the next product to come out only to repeat the cycle. It’s really nice to know that people notice all the work I put in to tru and capture the essence of the TWST characters and their canon. I basically try to wiggle into their mind spaces 😳

We hold TWST near and dear to our hearts, and I want to have others experience that same fondness when they read my works. The smiles and the sobs we’ve had with the NRC boys are universal experiences; I’m glad that I’m able to share such a thing with my readers. I think people sometimes underestimate just how much forms of art can touch us at our very cores; they can be so memorable that someone reading your fic or looking at your art can remember exactly where they were when they first consumed your work. Creations can leave an impact on the world and the people who look upon it!

Sometimes I’ve been told I’m too patient 😂 but I’m relieved that it seems like my patience is seen as a virtue?? I’m used to giving advice and being the voice of reason to others, so I guess that extended into my fandom life. If people find that useful, then I’m happy to be of help and that I didn’t step on any toes! I want my words to guide others into making determinations that feel are right to them, not tell them how they “should” feel or think.

I like to learn because I realize there’s a lot I don’t know. Just as I give knowledge and advice, I’d also like to receive it 🎵 If I think about it… the patience makes me one part Trey, and the curiosity and willingness to learn makes me one part Lilia?

Not gonna lie, I’m still struggling to find that “perfect” blog theme for me… but I’m happy that you also like the little technical things like how the blog is laid out and looks. (I’m very invested in my blog’s theming and Alice in Wonderland motifs!! 💪)

I’m also working on getting more comfortable with sharing content of my OC 🥲 I’ve mentioned this before, but I feel guilty when I mention Miss Raven because some part of me realizes that most people are here for general TWST stuff, not her. Even though this is my blog and I can do whatever I want with it, this still makes me feel like I’m somehow being selfish… which I know is a ridiculous way of thinking, so I’m trying to combat it!!

Once again, thank you for this valuable feedback, I hope you didn’t mind me rambling 🥺 I’ll definitely be looking back on this to reflect!! And I’ll try to take breaks, but no promises in case I can’t keep it—

#notes from the writing raven #feedback for the writing raven

32 notes · View notes

silvysartfulness · 4 years ago

Text

I got tagged by @ameliarating and @veliseraptor to do this writer meme thing!

How many works do you have on AO3?

Six. I only started posting fic on AO3 last year. Before that, many long years ago, I used my own websites and LiveJounal.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

177481. The absolute majority of which is of course Heaven Has A Road.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On AO3, only The Untamed.

But before that, I've written for Disney Afternoon's Aladdin, Slayers, Kingdom Hearts, Assassin's Creed, and one-shot fics for my own original verses as well as my friends'.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Heaven Has A Road But No One Walks It at 1194, unsurprisingly. It's my magnum opus on AO3.

Blanket Statement at 302. The first fic I wrote for the Untamed, and the first thing I posted on AO3 (Thank you, Lise, for holding my hand and walking me through it!)

And To Many More at 169

High Noon In Deserted City at 96, which is sort of funny, since it's just a picture and about 1000 words. But the premise is fun! Still hoping for some hungry writer to adopt it and write something for it. :)

Self-Inflicted at 75.

Which checks out, I guess – the longest fic with the most readers comes first, then the fluff, then the funny and finally the angsty and fucked up. XD

I still suspect The Plotbunny of Doom / The Renegades for Kingdom Hearts would score as my all time highest, though, if LJ likes and comments translated to the AO3 format. That fic took me and two friends three whole years to write together, was 104 chapters long and over 300k.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really try! Comments mean everything to me, and I want to reply to them all! But when I'm low on spoons (which is unfortunately often) I fall hopelessly behind, and then the catching up becomes an impossible-looking chore in and of itself.

I should really set some time aside every day to catch up on the last few chapters' worth of comments... I do love the interaction and discussion a good comment can spawn!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hm... I write a ton of angst, but only a few actually have sad endings. I'd say Eaten counts, as does Self-Inflicted, I guess. TPBoD had a very open ending that was still definitely on the somewhat hopeless side.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Mm, it's not usually my favourite genre (though I mean, the whole Kingdom Hearts verse is a crossover in and of itself) but it depends a lot on the source material. I guess TPBoD might soft-count, since we tossed in a bunch of non-canon references with all the world-jumping.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not as such? Oh yeah, I do recall getting a very upset comment on a non-con fic I wrote back in the KH days, by someone who couldn't conceive how you could claim to love a character and then write such horrible things happening to them. But you get those occasionally. Look, crushing my favourite characters is therapy. Doesn't mean I don't love them.

The Russian fandom are loudly aggressive in their comments on some chapters of Heaven Has A Road, but that's more focused on the characters, not me personally.

On the whole, I've been pretty spared. But then, there's little point in sending hate; I just block.

Do you write smut? if so what kind?

Oh, absolutely. Haven't really gotten to that point in the posted chapters of Heaven Has A Road yet, but we're about to unleash it aplenty in the upcoming ones.

What kind? Most kinds, I guess? Soft and fluffy, aggressive and snarly, consensual, dubcon, non-con. Mostly mlm but I've written het, too. Can't remember if I've written wlw, but I've certainly headcanoned/drawn it. A bit of kink is nice.

I prefer focusing on the chemistry and sensations when I write porn, rather than detailed physical smacking and squelching and body fluids, but that's just my personal preference and writing style.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of? Not that I can remember? I have my art stolen regularly, and I've had my online identity stolen, but I don't think anyone's stolen anything I've written...

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Heaven Has A Road is being translated into Russian, and I'm insanely honoured and flattered!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes – TPBoD aka The Plot Bunny of Doom, aka The Renegades, for Kingdom Hearts. I wrote it over ten years ago together with a friend and my now wife. It was a monster of a fic, I think about 320k, and the fact that we were three people helping and pushing and encouraging each other really helped keep it going!

I don't know if I would have the focus for something like it now, but it was an amazing experience I'll always treasure.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Oh man, that changes with each hyperfixation... I may have to say Marluxia/Vexen for Kingdom Hearts, simply because it's a ship that's been around in my life for so long. I still occasionally go back to read favourite bits of the fics I wrote for them, including TPBoD.

Currently it's SongXueXiao from The Untamed, of course, and a very strong contender overall! I've dabbled a bit in poly ships before, but this is the first time I have one as my main, and I'm love them.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Uh. I don’t really have any? Because of my burnout-brain, I can only really focus on one major project at a time, and that's currently heaven has A Road. And I'm really, really hoping I will be able to finish it!

It's all plotted out, I just need to write the stupid thing. Working on it.

What are your writing strengths?

Hm, I'd say that I've developed a voice/prose over the years that I'm actually quite happy with! And I'm good at conveying/invoking emotion, if going solely by how many people comment that I've made them cry. :D

I enjoy writing dialogue, and I love working with layers of symbolism.

What are your writing weaknesses?

The actual writing process. 🙄 I'm extremely uneven and unstructured in getting the actual words down. Also convoluted and inflated text at times - sometimes I write a lot of words without actually saying anything. And English is my second language, so just nailing the correct phrasing and grammar can be a headache at times.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If it impacts the plot – like the POV character not understanding it, then maybe. And using terms that can't be translated, absolutely! Other than that, there's little point in making a text harder for the reader to grasp by tossing in whole sections in another language for clout. Is my personal view, at least, of course other writers may disagree.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

My first online fandom that I wrote fic for was Disney Afternoon's Aladdin show. Before that, I wrote original fic. And before that, before the internet was A Thing, I'd write and draw for stories that captivated me, just for my own entertainment. If you count that, I'd probably say Phantom of the Opera was my first – I had a whole ”everyone is a horse because that's what I know how to draw” AU when I was about 10 or so, that I'd draw lots of pictures for. When I was even younger, I used to make up stories for my younger brothers, based on movies and series we had watched together. I've always been a storyteller, one way or another, if only in my own head. I wouldn't know how not to.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I would have to say Heaven Has A Road, even though it's still unfinished. It's the first work of that sheer scope I have ever attempted by myself, and I'm honestly insanely proud of myself for what I have accomplished already!

Second would be TPBoD – The Renegades. Even though that was a shared effort, it's a very long fic that we managed to bring all the way to its intended conclusion, and I'm very proud of that, too!

Plus there are bits of both these fics I really like, and that I will go back and read for my own enjoyment occasionally.

tagging: @orodrethsgeek, @ebonykain, @fromaliminalspace, @chigrima, @soawen

#asksilvy #i guess #long post

8 notes · View notes