#i NEED somebody to talk to about trigun. PLEASE

[lesbianpegbar]

someone drew trigun on the animation studio whiteboard i need to find them and kiss them on the lips

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Helping Vash Get Cleaned Up After the Incident in July

Vash the Stampede X FemReader

Rating: T

Warnings: Suggestive themes, mentions of nudity, angst, mentions of deaths, and steam

Word Count: 1k

(A/N:) I am drowning in Trigun Stampede feels. I needed to write something to make me feel better (it helped a little bit). I want Vash to be happy, somebody please stop writing bad things happening to him!! He deserves good things and I just have all the Vash feels. So I have SEVERAL ideas in my drafts for both him and Nicholas so my fellow Trigun fangirls be on the lookout as I keep working and hopefully get around to posting more often! Until next time happy reading! ~Countess

After the disaster of July, your heart ached horribly for the lives lost in the incident. But you found yourself worrying more about a blond haired man more than anything. Once the news of the destruction was done an announcement followed about the raised bounty of the person responsible for such a horrific act. Vash the Stampede now had a sixty billion double dollar bounty stamped across his name and every bounty hunter with the guts to go after him on his tail. You worriedly waited for the fateful moment that he would find his way at your doorstep every night. You didn’t have to wait long as a week later Vash stumbled right to your door, collapsing at your feet.

You struggled getting him inside before you were finally able to get him in and shut the door. Vash sat limply in a chair, a ragged cloth draped over his form leaving him in shadow, while his normally styled hair hung limply in dirty knots. He didn’t speak or even look at you, keeping his eyes down to stare holes into the floor. You sighed tiredly, knowing that he was blaming himself for everything. Nothing was truly his fault, but Vash always took the world and it’s problems on his shoulders. He probably didn’t understand why he brought himself to your door as he worried about bringing destruction down upon your home. You shook your head grabbing his arm and tugging him up to his feet.

“You don’t have to talk,” you started walking while tugging him along, “or explain anything. But you will follow me and do what I tell you. No arguing.”

You brought him into your bathroom where you started running water into an old wooden tub you kept for your baths. He started to protest, Vash’s voice rough with disuse but you quickly shushed him, continuing on with your work.

“Get undressed,” you stated with no room for arguments. “I’m going to get you cleaned up.”

Vash just sighed in defeat as you turned back to focus on getting the tub filled and the necessary items to get him all clean. Bashfully Vash stood in the middle of the bathroom waiting for you to finish with the running water. You didn’t focus on that the man you cared for dearly was standing naked in the middle of the room, but the sight of all the scars and metal marring his flesh made you gasp in concern.

“Vash,” you whimpered. He stood there stiffly before looking away as you got closer to him. “Oh Vash.”

You reached out and he flinched, ashamed that you were seeing the sad state his body was in and what he had done to himself all for the sake of his ideals. Still you didn’t let his embarrassment stop you as you traced the metal across his pectoral.

“Sorry I’m so hideous,” he grinned sadly which just made you glare at him.

“You aren’t hideous,” you stated a little angry that he thought that way. The look in his once bright blue eyes had you tugging him into your embrace. “You’ll never be hideous to me. Now get in the tub, you’ll feel much better once you’re all clean.”

“Yes ma’am,” Vash chuckled entering the water. He watched you for a couple seconds just waiting for you to leave. You stayed there staring back before making your way back to the tub. Kneeling down you grabbed the wash cloth, dipping it into the still warm water and rubbing it across his grimy skin. You traced all the scars, leaving tender touches to each one as you went along. Vash shivered at your touch despite the heat of the water. The water grew murky quickly as you made sure that all the dirt was washed away. You wished greatly that you could scrub away guilt as easily as the sands of Noman’s Land. Vash relaxed a little at the attention you laved upon him, all thoughts of the scars he hated so much melting away at every touch you gifted them. 

You knew Vash had always seemed a little flustered around you, but you were happy to see him relax. Normally you wouldn’t stick around and watch or help him bathe, but when you had seen him so exhausted at your doorstep that he wound up collapsing at your doorstep you couldn’t leave him alone. Bringing him back to his fun and goofy self was your newest mission. Vash stiffened when you leaned forward, placing your hand in the water to use the tub as leverage. He felt your fingertips brush against his bare thigh, making his eyes widened. You brushed your lips gently against his chapped ones.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” you whispered.

Vash continued to stare before he placed a damp hand on the back of your head and brought you closer. Before you could ask what he was doing, his lips were on yours. You melted into his embrace, letting Vash do whatever he needed to take from you. He stood up taking you with him as water splashed onto the floor in large puddles. You groaned tangling your fingers in his hair, ignoring the fact that your comfortable clothes were quickly becoming soaked. Vash held on tightly your smaller form fitting against his like the perfect puzzle piece. He hadn’t been able to relax or feel at peace one day since the destruction of July, but now that he was here with you he finally found that comfort he had been longing for. He held on tightly not wanting to ever let go as you saw him as he wanted to be seen. You didn’t judge him or force him to open up, you quietly stood by just waiting for the times he needed you. He loved you greatly and he was thankful that he found someone like you. All cleaned and freshly dressed, Vash watched you fall asleep against him, your warm breath puffing against his neck. He held on tighter letting himself relax for the first time in so long.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Stampede Wolfwood got Metaphorically Isekai'd (No This is Not a Shitpost)

Oh my god if this winds up being part of my legacy I'll probably cry.

So. Everyone who's watched the new show knows that Wolfwood is introduced by getting hit by Meryl's van in the middle of the desert where he is literally the only thing to get hit for miles around. What an entrance. Welcome to the team buddy.

[ID: A screenshot from Trigun Stampede Episode 4. At an above view, the van has spun, unfortunately sending the trailer back part crashing directly into Wolfwood. He is starfished face-first into it, rather comically. End ID.]

It's funny as heck, but, since I am deranged, I'm gonna try and convince you that this is not only an isekai joke, but that the basic premise of an isekai actually applies fairly well to Stampede Wolfwood in the first season... but then a lot of the standard tropes are made into notable and tragic subversions. Also please note I have never actually watched an isekai anime so maybe take all this with a grain of salt. Or several. (Also isekai is a really broad genre. I'm talking specifically about the tropiest things to come out of it - please don't take what I'm about to discuss as representative of the entire genre!)

In the manga, and I believe in the 98 anime as well, Wolfwood is spotted by Vash while him and the insurance girls are travelling on a bus. He is out in the middle of the desert, and so thirsty and exhausted he's initially mistaken for dead. Vash and the girls manage to cause enough of a ruckus that he is literally saved (which echoes the influence they, but especially Vash, will have on him later on), and they all end up on the bus as him and Vash become acquainted - the start of their companionship, and the start of their journey together (being quite literally on a moving vehicle). In the 23 anime, it all seems set up to give us the same intro: there is a vehicle, Wolfwood is clearly exhausted from trekking through the desert, Meryl and Vash are there... and then, suddenly -

[ID: Two screenshots from Trigun Stampede Episode 4. In the first, Wolfwood is walking with Punisher across the sand with a bright blue sky background. He does not see the van coming into sharp focus on a direct path towards him. In the second, Meryl, in the driver's seat, looks out with a shocked expression. Roberto's hand has reached over to grab the wheel. End ID.]

Pfft. Sorry I had to rewatch this to get the screenshots and I swear it does not get any less funny. Anyways, Wolfwood gets hit instead of getting rescued, but the end result is the same - he ends up in the vehicle and his journey with them begins.

So. Why the difference?

Well, I can only really speculate, and honestly it was probably just for the humour of it, but I do have another (deranged) suggestion.

See, Wolfwood in the manga is a little different from Stampede's Wolfwood - he's a lot friendlier for one (though no less trying to scam people), and he's got a little bit more self-made purpose (protecting and providing for the orphanage), even if he still lacks true agency. Stampede Wolfwood, by contrast, is a lot more aimless. He's on constant survival mode, which makes him a lot more openly abrasive right from the get-go, more cavalier about his own life (smokes way more than in the manga, takes bullets when there's actually no reason to), and a lot less in control of his outward persona (there have been many observations I've seen on how he's not the best at holding back his emotions - imo I don't think manga Wolfwood is especially good at that either, but in Stampede, it's really obvious).

Stampede Wolfwood also plays up his "monstrousness" a lot more in front of people, which is probably the most significant difference to me. Manga Wolfwood... doesn't exactly try to hide it, but he tends to take a "well, somebody had to do what needed to get done" attitude, like a kind of tired "I know there's no going back and I know I've turned into a monster. This is all I know how to be now. Somebody has to make the hard calls." But he feels shame about it all the same - look at how he puts his sunglasses on whenever he's about to do something he finds reprehensible (well, except the Ninelives fight... but no one was around to witness him there). It's made pretty explicit later that the glasses are a way for him to say "don't look at me. don't see what I've become".

Meanwhile, Stampede Wolfwood never takes the glasses off. He's much more upfront about the threat he poses - calling out Vash for not watching his back, outright saying he could've shot him - not a smart move when trying to earn someone's trust. His teasing, when he does it, isn't quite as playful, and has a bit of a bite to it. It's almost like he wants to be hated; like he's torn between justifying the necessity of his actions and convincing others that he is just as much of a monster as he feels.

I really think the key differences have a lot to do with their respective situations. Wolfwood in the manga... he got out, for a bit. He couldn't go back to the orphanage, but for at least a little bit, he wasn't under the Eye of Michael's thumb, he did get to meet people outside of missions and travel a bit, and was acting on his own intent... until he ended up pulled back into it because of Knives. Stampede Wolfwood has been under their control since he was taken from the orphanage. Everyone he loves is a hostage. He's taken on the name of his weapon and has known nothing else except this world of darkness - there's very little to imply he's travelled or spoken to anyone without it being for some mission. He's under consistent surveillance.

This "babysitting" mission, then, is something very different from his usual. It's not an assassination. Even more so, it's putting him in close contact with people who are not part of the world that he inhabits, the only one he's known since he was taken, which kickstarts significant changes in his life. You could even say he's been... transported to a different world than the one he'd lived in up to this point...

Enter Truck-kun. Or, rather, Van-kun.

Alright, so what is an isekai? Essentially, it's a wide-ranging genre where the protagonist gets transported or reincarnated to another world (usually regular world -> fantasy/sci-fi world), and typically involves an ordinary person becoming important/powerful in this new world - the genre is, a lot of the time, a mix of power fantasy and wish fulfillment.

Obviously, there is no literal transporting to another world here; it is still very much the same world (I'll bring up why this is important later.) But it's notable that Wolfwood remains very much the outlier in their group - he does not blend in, and his methods and approach are very different to that of the rest, who do not come from the same "world" as him. It's the start of a pretty drastic change in situation for him. It's why I really wish there were more episodes showing his dynamic with the group before it all went to hell - I bet he was so awkward.

The next thing I want to mention is that if you thought I was going to be arguing that there is a standard isekai parallel here... well I lied to you. A lot of the common tropes actually get subverted in kinda heartbreaking ways.

Usually the protagonist of an isekai (not always, but often) is some kind of chosen one. They are able to excel in situations that others cannot, and it's usually because they bring some kind of skill or knowledge from their old life that the people in the new world, obviously, don't. They tend to become ultra powerful, well able to take on any of their challenges in this new world, with advantages others don't have.

This doesn't sound like anything to do with Wolfwood after being hit by Meryl's van. But it sure sounds an awful lot like him after being taken by the Eye of Michael.

He is transferred from his comparatively normal life to one straight out of a sci-fi horror. He's a chosen "Child of Blessing", ranked "S+". He was able to survive grievous harm and experimentation, "excelling" where most other hapless kids did not. What did he bring with him from his old life that none of the people in his new life seem to have that allowed him to survive in the way he did? Well... he had something to protect didn't he? That's how he continues to struggle on. This is far from the sentiment shared by people like Conrad and Legato.

And so Wolfwood becomes ultra powerful - his body is fast, strong and resilient; he's efficient and good at what he's been trained to do. But this is far from anything he wanted. The power fantasy is subverted. Wolfwood is powerful enough to handle pretty much any threat that's thrown at him... but all it does is isolate and alienate him, and make him feel like a monster. Another aspect of isekai is that freedom one gets from being able to start over and become someone closer to their ideal self in a new setting - that's the wish fulfillment part. Well, Wolfwood has never been further from free, or less like the person he wishes to be. He hates everything he has become, but can't get out. Unable to change his situation, and increasingly jaded and disillusioned, Wolfwood takes on the moniker of "Punisher" and gives up on his old self. "Wolfwood" has effectively died.

Other than "transfer" isekai, there is also another kind - the "reincarnation" isekai. I'm not going to even touch bringing up the premise of reincarnation with a guy who carries around a giant cross on his back as I am far from qualified (knowing very little about Christianity at all), but I think it's worth noting that Wolfwood's arc (in all iterations) has much to do with his ever-present conflict with Vash over morality, but also just as much about his struggle to reconcile the person he was with the person he was forced to become, and if there is such a thing as forgiveness or redemption for him.

If "Wolfwood" has died before the story started, then he is "reincarnated" over the course of the story as he slowly starts to find himself again, with the kickstarting impetus being him getting hit by Meryl's van.

The changes don't start instantly. He wakes and things seem relatively normal - the plan is working, there's someone obviously suspicious of him - all stuff he's probably very used to. And then Vash goes and completely blindsides him.

[ID: A screenshot from Trigun Stampede Episode 4. A close up of Vash's face in the dim lighting, with eyes softened and a smile. End ID.]

"I can see it in his eyes."

Okay, so we all kinda giggle a little bit here because who the hell says that to some sketchy guy wearing dark sunglasses in a dark cave-like area when you've only just met, but I really want to stress that this is probably the first truly positive interaction Wolfwood has had in years... and I think Vash is well aware of that.

Wolfwood starts the transition from darkness to light... quite literally.

Almost all of Wolfwood's defining scenes are in the darkness of night, in contrast to the brightly lit desert in the day - think of when he moves away from the fire to speak to Zazie at the end of his intro episode, and assassinates the EoM traitor at the beginning of episode 6. In episode 5, we also get this:

[ID: Two screenshots from Trigun Stampede Episode 5. In the first, Rollo has Vash pinned to a metal wall by his neck. The sun can be seen between the two of them. In the second, Rollo lies dead on the ground. It is now night, and Vash stands over him, head low. Wolfwood stands a distance away. End ID.]

As Vash tries to speak to Rollo, to talk him down, the sun, though setting, is bright and illuminates both their faces. This all comes crashing down, literally, as Wolfwood takes the shot. Rollo falls, the sun stops shining on him, and by the time they all reach his body, night has fallen and the world is in darkness. The light goes out for Rollo... and in Wolfwood's eyes, for him too. He shot out of mercy, after all. He's living a nightmare he sees no escape from nor feels deserving of escaping from - worse, he feels as though he's a part of that darker setting, dragging it into their journey along with him.

However, we've established the lens of the "reincarnation" isekai for the purposes of this analysis, and along with that usually comes a way to compensate or reconcile for missed opportunities or mistakes made in the past by becoming something closer to one's own original ideal - sometimes this can even be a literal starting over, by being reborn into one's own younger self. And that's the importance of what Vash says to Wolfwood in episode 4 - he sees the potential in Wolfwood; the old self he thought had "died" a long time ago. Vash knows he's not the person he's been made to become and encourages him - not to do as Vash does, but to do as Wolfwood actually wants to do but thought for the longest time as hopeless. After all, what is a blank ticket if not a second chance or a new lease on life?

On the sand steamer in episode 6, the scene starts off in daylight once again, but after Wolfwood realizes the new assailant is Livio and we see their backstory, the snap back to the present scene is at night, and the scene darkens as the situation becomes more dire... and as Wolfwood comes to the conclusion that he will have to kill his brother.

But as Zazie's bug, or "eye", gets shot by Vash deflecting what would have been a fatal blow to Livio... suddenly, Wolfwood is free to act without the EoM's ever present surveillance. This is a serious step to severing the binds to that old life, and, as Wolfwood ultimately does not want any harm to come to Livio, he finds another way. And the sky starts to lighten again.

[ID: A screenshot from Trigun Stampede Episode 7. A close up of Livio's face with a distant, pensive expression. A wisp of smoke trails underneath as the pinkish hue of the sunrise is seen in the background. End ID.]

Of course, while this does succeed in waking him, it doesn't actually save him. But it is enough that Wolfwood decides to try letting a little bit of hope back in - to acclimate, even if just a little, to Vash's ideals, or his "world". Wolfwood's wish, to protect the orphanage, is (temporarily) fulfilled - in broad daylight, and without the death he'd been so accustomed to in his old "world". While he outwardly denies it, angrily telling Vash that he is no longer "Wolfwood" and instead merely "the Punisher", that "I'm not like you", the episode's title card, which appears directly after this exchange, does not agree.

[ID: A screenshot from Trigun Stampede Episode 7. A black background with white text; the title card for the episode that reads "#07 Wolfwood". End ID.]

He's more himself than he's been in a long time.

In that sense, going back to my insane original premise, we can say that he was isekai'd once by transfer, turning him into someone else... then isekai'd again by reincarnation after he thought his old self dead, helping him to start on the path to finding that younger self and that hope he thought he'd lost. It's a double subversion, in a way, as the first is far from wish fulfillment, and the latter is actually a restoration - a realization that as he slowly starts to transition to the light, he actually never left this world at all when he was changed against his will. He's not a monster of the dark. He still has a place in this lighter world.

Heartwarming, in a way, but also kind of heartbreaking, as if he hasn't truly left this world then there are still consequences.

Wolfwood, after this, still has to complete his contract. He didn't actually get out.

And Vash, for all that he appears to be someone "not like" Wolfwood, is actually far more similar than he'd initially suspected - Vash, too, came from darkness. The Big Fall happened at night. And even as Wolfwood's world grows lighter, Vash's grows ever darker as what he has tried to stave off bleeds into the light, culminating in the events of July, which take place entirely at night, and are truly Vash's darkest hours. Rather than Vash being some naïve creature of a lighter world that Wolfwood cannot reach, he is instead another person from darkness who is struggling for the light all his own.

Because of course, there is no "lighter world" or "darker world". No true "travel" between the two. Just one world that is both at once. And what one finds in it is dependent on what one chooses to read into their circumstances. A kinder, brighter world isn't something they can simply get isekai'd to. It's something these characters have to struggle to make a reality - it's what Vash does, it's what Meryl takes a stand for, it's what Wolfwood, deep down, wants to believe is possible. Hope is something you build yourself, etc.

Anyways, I can't believe I just wrote all that. I think I'm losing my mind. If you came out of this going, "Story, what the hell are you talking about?" then... well. Me too. Thanks for reading anyways!

[makima-s-most-smile]

Trigun Maximum 1 (Part 2)

*me rushing after the bookclub timeline* My brain does not work in summer heat!

*continues to waffle about the smallest details* And I will only get worse, nyehehehe

Trigun Ultimate: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 Trigun Maximum: 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 6.1, 6.2, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 9.1, 9.2, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5

Chapter 03: Bravo Girls!

Meryl!

Uh… Neither can a man?!? Karen, what kind of sexist logic do you have there? 

Everyone should be capable and independent, that’s how you avoid landing in abusive situations. (It also does not mean that you shouldn’t rely on people. That’s how communities work.) Knowing your worth and loving yourself is the key here.

Those who know, know -_-

This is the first time that Meryl got any lifesign from Vash for about 2,5 years. She must have thought he died until now. No wonder she is near tears. Her friend is alive! She must feel so relieved! Boyo survived whatever the fifth moon incident has been!

Oh, I immediately dislike Mr. Keele. Keele = Kill, did anyone else zoom in on the phonetic similarities?

Again! Mr. Keele is a tradesman! An Assassin! I didn’t imagine it! Somebody tell me that I didn’t imagine it when I said that Wolfwood literally advertises he’s a trained killer in Ultimate 2! Karen gives Meryl all the hints! “Yeah, I would not want to be there, even if I was you, with Mr. Keele being a killer. Y’know, the ex-elite-military-dude.” We see the penny drop on Meryl’s face!

This has to be one of the bigger cities, since it was build around a ship. But it looks so small. Like 1.000 people, maybe 2000 max. I read somewhere that like 20 Million humans of 100 Million survived the fall (correct me if I remember that incorrectly). But with such small settlements… I cannot believe that. There was surely a second Great Dying in the aftermath, but this… this is so small. And it is a big, well-established city. If Vash is able to run around without people realising who he is, there need to be more people for that anonymity. Big cities offer anonymity, small communities do not!

I like this shot of Vash. He looks like he is Batman, all brooding and watchful. Through that establishing shot, we, as readers, aren’t really surprised when Keele is busted immediately. How exactly, besides Vash being careful, I don’t know. Is it the body language? The way he carries himself and his weapons? Does he hear them talking at the reception desk?

I like this whole scene. Vash is not naive. He knows of the dangers, he knows he is still hunted down, even without the bounty.

Keele is ruthless! To get to his target, he is willing to kill innocents. The woman in the car is an innocent bystander. Vash needs to shield her with his body. While the other assassins until now also killed people, they didn’t use them to get to Vash. That’s a key difference and makes Keele so much more coldblooded.

How much pain tolerance has he? He is smiling and joking after it. Yes, he is showing pain, but he is more obsessed with making everything seem less dire. Of course, Wolfwood sees through it and gets help. I am not sure, he may even carry Vash, since it is highly stupid to let Vash lay there in the open with a fucking hitman on the lose. I wonder how Wolfwood feels when being confronted with that kind of hit man. While we know that Wolfwood is able to “easily” kill, he does not seem like a person who would use innocents to get to his target. He is too direct and honest for that. You could also use the word too ethical, but that is… *looks at the killer for hire part* Well, even professionals have standards?

I love Meryl’s cool speech, but… Keele was hired by her boss. Her boss would have known that Keele is a hit man. Even Karen commented on it. What does that say about her organisation as a whole? I want consequences for it! Be it structural changes or anything, but we never get any. Please, if you have something like this in the story, Nightow, please, do something with it. What are the consequences about this for Meryl and her job, what are the consequences for Milly? Do they report this? It would be in character for both of them! And if they don’t… SHOW IT TO US! PLEASE! What is their reasoning then!

I’d say, Keele is not without logic, but it is not insurance logic. It is the logic that the state works with in “The minority-report”. The idea of a self fulfilling prophecy is also present here, too. Though, it is unethical from the perspective that it infringes on the human’s agency. Another little thing that is important for me (and most likely for Meryl, too) is that Vash is not the disaster! Things happen to and around Vash, but he is not the one who decides to go bat-shit crazy, he runs, he flees and most importantly, he keeps the casualties low! There is no intent there! She would have put that in her reports! Keele didn’t care, her boss didn’t care. 

Can you punish someone for something he doesn’t do? It would be punishing his existence. 

Keele goes to threaten Meryl with a gun, intending to kill her. He is not only a hit man, he is a murderer. His reasoning is greed and covering his own tracks. You could say, in this chapter, he is somewhat the antithesis to Vash. Vash brings destruction without intent and does his best to avoid it. Keele kills for personal gain without care for anyone other than himself. Who is worse? The answer is easy, but somehow from a purely capitalistic view the insurance agency came to another result.

Meryl thinking back to what Karen said, but I don’t think she thinks about herself in that position. She thinks about Vash and how he is thrown into life threatening situations again and again (at least that is my interpretation) and how he cannot be happy like that. His smiling picture contrasts what they have been through together. Yes, it is a shitty position that Meryl finds herself in, but she chooses to stay at Vash’s side. And damn, that’s fucking nice of her. She is his friend. She is brave. And she has ethics!

Milly to the rescue! I love the whole framing of that pic. Her smile and then the close up that shows it is an angry one!

It’s subtle, but does Meryl help Keele to fly by tripping him? Her position changes so much from the former page. She looks so completely unimpressed by Keele. Also, isn’t it nice that people other than Vash get panty shots, too?

WHY?! You smoked Vash out! You followed him! You literally got into a life threatening situation! Why don’t you go to him? AHHHHHHHHHH

Gosh, Wolfwood is so petty. Yes, he keeps Vash’s ethical standground and does not kill his fellow hitman, but Vash never said something against torture… And I didn't get why his face is so bloody, I thought that was the sauce, but no, he skitted on his face due to Milly's hit. Dayumm.

Meryl’s reasoning reads so weird. She used the vacation to look for him, but now she says that they will deal with him through work… Is it her being shy? And Keele never got busted… Nothing changed at her workplace even though it did something so unethical. I… really don’t like this plotpoint.

Chapter 04: Hero returns

Knives! My second best worstie! New readers still don’t get to know his face! Though, this is a memory from Vash. His brother is distorted to a monstrous being, inhuman with crazy eyes and a smile with so many teeth, it is a threat. Knives is not human, but Vash, his brother, is not human, too. 

“Forgetting brings too much sorrow, remembering brings everlasting pain.” That’s grief and it makes Vash's whole being. Sure, if you forget the person you lost, your pain may be gone, but you also lose what made you you. But now, every memory is tainted with the loss. Time should heal those wounds, pain becomes bearable and now painful memories become bittersweet. But I don’t think Vash ever reached that point. Rem is still a sore spot for him, he can’t even talk about her, but she haunts every step. Every scar on his body is a sacrifice to her godhood. Vash is less his own person and more a priest to her existence. While I am sad for Vash, I also feel for Rem. If she was able to know how her son idolises her to his own detriment, she would despair.

Vash having nightmares due to trauma, confirmed.

Damn, that contrast. Wolfwood, the black smudge, between all that white space and all the coffins hanging over his head. We already know that he deals with death at this point, being a gun ho gun and all that shebang, but it also evokes something claustrophobic in me. Wolfwood watching as more and more coffins -corpses- pile up, ready to crush him under their weight. And he just stands and stares.

Wolfwood, the town gossip. “Thank heaven you asked! It’s a long story, though it is kinda a short one! Anyway-” 

Eh, the town going all Montaque and Capulet, just without the lovers and more sexual assault. Kinda sad, but that is greed working. The planet truly brings out the worst of humanity. And Vash is still able to be sad about it. Because he knows humanity can be better. And Wolfwood is his bitter, contemptuous self, not without reason. I don’t see him saying that as misanthropy, though. Wolfwood said in his introduction chapter that he has an orphanage to care about. While Vash cares about the whole of humanity, Wolfwood cares for his smaller circle and he needs to stay alive to do so. He cannot allow himself the risk. 

And damn, Vash just plainly calling him out for having secrets and Wolfwood again, not denying it and just falling silent. They know. And it hurts.

Brad!

He is 17. Why do 17 year olds in manga either look kawaii or like the worst Jojo-delinquents

His hair reminds me so much of Ryu (or Josuke mixed with Jotaro)

Damn, Brad, you are such an arrogant arsehole here. Oh, yes, the people who are trying their best to survive daily on a planet that is unable to really accommodate their needs are not the nicest around… Dude, you are living at a place that guarantees that your basic needs are taken care of. Brad lived with a priviledge that other people literally would die for. I know Brad will grow on me, but damn, his introduction is always… I wanna kick him! At least you are not as bad as ‘98 Brad.

What conversation? The one about plants? The one about having to kill to protect your close ones? Are you trying to make him understand that you, Wolfwood, need to stay alive to keep the orphanage going? Or the one about you hiding stuff? Are you going to confess? Why you are here, Wolfwood? What is it? It is open to interpretation.

But I love this! This shows what a truly honest and open dude Wolfwood truly is. Yes, he goes so easily on the defensive and, damn, he speaks in absolutes and thus can be seen as condescending. But he reaches out to Vash again and again. He literally runs after him to talk! He tries to go by Vash’s rules. He didn’t kill anyone with his fucking machine gun cross, because Vash asked him to, and that is a feat in on itself.

Oh! There is a new coat in the suitcase, too! Didn’t see that in the first readthrough.

Brad: “I don’t think we have a choice, do we? Lost technology for lost technology.” I read this in my first readthrough as Vash trading stuff with the colony, most likely because I still had the scene with Kaite in my head, where Vash just pulls out a radio in the form of a pen. But now it reads as Brad putting Vash down as a plant and dehumanising him.

No! Vash, you are the fucking gun! Yes, you have dangerous powers, but you did not pull the trigger! I know it feels like it! And damn, your body must feel foreign and hostile to you, but you did not chose this, the responsibility lies not on you, however much you put it onto yourself.

“We have no choice but to depend on him”

“The only one who cannot flee or surrender, who will even return from the dead is that nice man right there.”

Damn, that hurts. I know the doctor has a better relationship with Vash than Brad has, but it reads like they are only using him and that only because there is no other option. It mirrors how Vash treats himself.

Brad struggles with Vash seemingly being immortal and inhuman. His hissy fit kinda fits what is brewing in Wolfwood. But with the Docs explanation of Brad being a fucking brat that has a temper trantrum because his age mate Jessica has a puppy crush on Vash... He is just a fucking hormonal teenager. Brad the brat. And that makes Vash’s bout of hating his plantness immediately less dire. I love Doc. (I wanted to write like, but my hands wrote love, so love it is.)

Wolfwood can never eat in peace part two electric boogaloo. He looks so cute, squatting down and just eating XD. It is one of my favourite Wolfwood panels. He just looks so innocent and curious. Annnnd… the softness is immediately gone with his scowl returning. Interesting, how Wolfwood takes the police/army force intervening as something that can go either way and not something purely positive. We don’t see much of them in the manga anyway, so how much power do they truly have? Not enough, considering Knives is scheming in the background with the whole of the gun-ho-guns.

Also, Brad, just go away with your prejudice. I’d like to see how you would have come out living not in a safe space but a world in which you can be shot just for looking stupid.

Kinda hypocritical of Wolfwood. He wants to go away and not interfere. While that is a choice, it is a passive one. His action is nonaction. But nonaction is also an action. He wants to avoid having to make this decision of life and death. But that also tells us, the readers, that while Wolfwood is capable of doing so, he hates taking a life, he hates this part of life and himself. 

And his decision is to decide which conflict he interferes with, because his main goal is to keep the orphanage afloat. Wolfwood has to decide for himself who is worth saving and who is not. No wonder he calls himself a demon. But it is also very human.

He does not have the capacity to help everyone and if he dies here, the orphanage would suffer. His life is worth something for that very cause. While Wolfwood is right that you cannot not make a choice, he doesn’t seem to completely understand it, either. Surely, he breaks the choice down to kill or let live, but there are myriads of other choices that have to be decided before it comes to this. His choice right here is not to kill or to kill, but avoid interfering so he does not risk his own life at the detriment of the orphanage.

And Vash is… Not understanding Wolfwood or humanity. From Vash’s perspective every life is important. He cannot fathom that for some people some lives are more important than others and that alienates him from humanity. From his position it seems unimaginable for him that he does not jump into the fray to rescue the hostages. And it reads a bit patronising or judgemental that other people are unable to do so. It reads like: I can do it, why can't you? Wolfwood has a point, but Vash slaps it away by telling him it is just talk. Vash is not human here, he is far from it.

For me, this also opens up another question. Is Vash using this unconsciously to avoid Knives? By concentrating on helping the locals, he gets distracted again and again from their real goal, smoking out Knives. While Vash said that he wants to kill Knives, it goes against his ideals. Rem also died for Knives, not only humanity. And Vash still loves him, even though Knives did something unmentionable to him. Considering that Vash is also latently suicidal… is there an unconscious hope that he could die before having to meet Knives? It also makes his position of I can do it, why can't humanity do it, kinda sad. He can't imagine people wanting to live and considering staying alive a priority. 

I… just love this very interaction. It feels a bit jarring that they had such an intense argument just a page ago and now they are back to silly nillies.

Chapter 05: Dancing revolvers

Hehehehe, Baby Vash immediately wanting to eat the geranium. Geraniums are also used to repel mosquitos. How does Zazie feel about them? Do the plants smell of geraniums? Imagine Zazie meeting Knives and having to retch.

Interestingly, I mostly found geranium meaning protection and warding off evil, even as a promise to meet at a specific place. Only after a deeper search did I find the meaning of determination. Rem’s face in that scene. She takes strength from that meaning, her own determination to leave behind something or start anew. The woman has a deeply seated regret or two.

We learn later what this exactly means, but Luraude not losing a drop of sweat… HINTS! It looks like he was controlled somehow.

Vash, that can kill a person… A pacifist, you are…

Then why are you bleeding from the mouth?!

I love the framing of Vash’s shooting scene and the aftermath. How his training comes to fruition and how much of his fighting is like high level mathematics. We also don’t know why the storage is shown in the aftermath until we get the resolution of them having been shot open. 

Chapter 06: Sin

I love that framing. It shows the sin and the grief that follows it. It doesn’t show the act, it shows the victims! That makes it much more poignant for me. It is about how innocent people are forced into such situations, how much loss there is from ONE wrong act. 

And while it makes a full circle back to Wolfwood’s words and gives them much needed human context, it also opens up the idea of Wolfwood being a victim that had to take up arms, too. His expression is also important. There is no: “Gotcha! Spikey! There is not his angry stubbornness or this neutral, stoic facade that normally accompanies him trying to make Vash understand. It is just absolute sadness and, maybe (I am really bad with faces) apathy by helplessness. I like that we get a callback to the scene a few chapters beforehand, because this close up tells us a whole different story and frames Wolfwood’s position much more as a position made by need and not by want. As much as Vash cried in that scene, Wolfwood looks like someone who wants to cry, too, but has no tears left.

Wolfwood says that Vash is foolish and stubborn. He looks kinda like a devil, enjoying Vash’s plightful situation. Could it be misguided care for Vash’s survival, because Wolfwood himself had to learn the hard way how to survive? Or does he want confirmation that Vash is someone who reacts and thus is in the end human? There is the hint that there is more to Wolfwood joining Vash’s travels. Our man is sus.

There are other questions that I have as a reader. How often does Vash regret the outcome of these situations? Does he only regret those where he couldn’t save everyone? Or in which people choose to be greedy? How does he keep up his hope towards humanity after those situations? Every life is holy for him, so the life of the murderer and the life of the daughter has to be on the same level. Doesn’t how we fill our life’s make a difference? Vash needs to say no to this due to all encompassing love for humanity. And that makes him inhuman. 

I love how the panelling kinda says two completely different things. By lowering his gun, Vash takes a step back and lets the father decide how to punish his daughter’s murderer. Framing Knives in the middle could be read as Vash’s own acceptance of his hypocrisy. If he is willing to kill Knives for what he did, why should he stop the father. But it also shows Vash’s inner fight for me. He lowers the gun, while we are presented with Knives’s portrait. Vash is unsure if he even can kill Knives.

You can’t save everyone, but you should at least try. And Vash acts upon it. Not putting the father in danger by using his gun, but by trying to save the rapist with only his hands. It is about not burdening the father with being a killer. And… it is an end that makes Vash keep up his promise, but it also feels hollow. The girl was tortured to death and her killer lives. It is unfair. The father’s grief won’t lessen, he may even feel like a failure. And everything about this is just sad.

Another point for Vash being decidedly inhuman and separated from humanity. How would I feel if I saw my family that I put under my protection tear themselves apart. I look down from far above and their scuffles would seem so menial to me and I still lose family members to it, other grief and take more lives in revenge. But also, if everyone is your family, no one is. Family is that important because it is our in-group. But an in-group automatically has an out-group. Vash is ripping himself apart with his point of view.

Yeah, I would also yawn if my boo bombs up my holding cell and gets me with his cool bike. As if Vash expected Wolfwood to come to his rescue.

I like this little tidbit of Wolfwood showing empathy to the father and offering him an escape. Our boy is a softie! Even though he immediately grows defensive when Vash calls him out on it.

I also like Wolfwood stressing to Vash that Vash’s luck will someday run out. And Vash knows it. Vash knows he has been lucky til now. Wolfwood means it in a Vash’s life or the other person’s. Wolfwood wants Vash to chose his own life.

Annnnd Luraude was a puppet and no one knew. Even Vash with his supersenses didn’t sniff or hear him out. 

And I lov…hate… love… Legato. I mean, it is a planet full of bdsm-gear-wearing cowboys shooting each other up and he walks up like from a HIM concert all in a fucking iron maiden. Damn.

[ofdreamsanddoodles]

Re: Trigun 98 Knives' backstory being fucked up:

Saw your post, and seconded, also ilu 🍰

Like. Literally what the hell was the Captain of that ship even doing? Why the hell was Brad allowed to do the shit he did? To Mary, and the twins especially. Knives going straight to Murder Is The Only Solution makes me think that Knives tried to take Brad's behavior (before Brad escalated to hitting Vash) up with Rem or the Captain before, and just. Absolutely fuck all came of it, and then it just got Worse, so Knives was just like, "Alright, time for mind control and murder. Its the only way to be safe". Rem, I love you, but please. Please, somebody help these kids. (I'm not really sure what they could of done, save maybe putting Brad in cryo again if the Captain talking to him didn't work. Maybe switch him out with another Plant engineer? Hope it goes better this time? But Idk how much that actually solves...)

(you mean steve, not brad, brad only has something to do with Being Bad At Caring For Plant Children in stampede)

i feel like rem definitely had to have known in some capacity, but had failed to really process the severity of it, especially considering like, this is happening to Children & had said something kind of wishy washy about oh, steve is just adapting to having you guys on board, he's mean now, but he'll start to understand in time, & then as time went on knives saw how much steve was harassing mary & how the smarter the twins got, the more mad steve was getting for being able to do what he couldnt & knives was just like. okay yeah. this man has got to go. i don't think he even had to do mind control. thats part of the fucked up part! rowan & mary knowingly lied about this bc of how much they hated spending time w steve. rem is the only one who stands up for him while the captain just kind of stood by & watched it all unfold. so thats like... three different people out of the six other members aboard the ship who are willing to make up a story to get this man on ice. like how much was this captain just. NOT listening for this to get to that point!!

we see a lot of steve's issues is how he feels uncomfortable with how much better the twins are at stuff than he is, and i feel like thats an issue that could like. genuinely be solved in therapy. like you didn't need to do all this you just needed to deal with his toxic masculinity. but no one stood up for mary when she was being groped & no one stood up for vash when he was being hit so everything fell apart in the worse possible way imaginable