#i actually had to hold myself back so much on loona | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amaranthine-enihtnarama · 2 years

Text

Feel Alright (Goku x Reader)

(it’s going to be more fun that it sounds; manic pixie dream BOY, s3x; crushes, grief, hiding the past; friendships; jealousy; slow burn; “friends”; healing; growing; will-they-won’t-they; tension baby!!!!; canon blender)

taglist: @ilove-evanpeters @moonyscardigans @twinshii @raspberryhaterade @iwenttoshiratorizawa @uselessdoodlesdude @ferneskin @burneraccountant @bellaisasleep @arougeme @aurorarevenclaw1927 @applecandy14 @fingersnapples @langdoncult @loona-thebadchild @anlin2058

TW: Mature content in this chapter! (I’m leaving y’all well fed for thanksgiving) Also a little bit of angst!

If you’d like to join the taglist, click here and add a like!

When Bellatrix moves to the city after a personal tragedy under the wing of her friend Bulma, her life is completely turned around after she leaves everyone—including herself-stunned with the discovery of her own powers. Suddenly she finds herself swept up in a world of aliens, new bizarre planets and training, along with prospects of romance. One problem, though; she can’t leave the past to answer the new life that’s knocking at her door.

𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 (((𝖔(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)𝖔)))♡: part one : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 / part two: 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Inspired by @sevenstarsinning ‘s fic “Sweat”! Go check it out!

part five | home again

“Blood?”

I nodded again, hugging my blanket tighter around me.

“Blood. Like, a period, maybe.”

“But you—“

“Yeah, I know, I know, I’ve never had one,” I said with a slight frown, “I’m freaked the fuck out.”

“You’re not bleeding anymore, are you?”

I shook my head even though I was on the phone.

“Are you?”

“Oh—uh, no. But…that’s not it. I think Goku smelled it.”

“Oh, gross—I don’t actually want to know about how you and Goku fuck.”

“Bulma, we haven’t fucked! He was nowhere near my crotch. He just said he could smell something good, and then his behavior did a total one-eighty. I had to fend him off until whatever happened to him went away!”

She was quiet for a moment. “He didn’t hurt you at all, did he?”

I was taken aback by the question. “Bulma, come on. It’s Goku.”

“Did he?”

I shook my head despite the fact I was on the phone.

“Bels?”

“Oh—uh—no. Of course not. Goku was still very gentle with me, even then. He’s always gentle with me. He’s…always very kind and sweet.”

Bulma’s giggle let me know the tense moment had passed. I chuckled, rolling my eyes.

“Kind and sweet, huh?”

“Bulma,” I warned.

“What? Look, I’m not pushing anything, but Goku’s great. And you like each other! You can’t become some kind of spinster just because your ex was awful—I mean, some new action would probably be good for you!”

“I don’t think Goku’s not great, but…”

I sighed heavily, leaning against the headboard.

“It’s just…being back here, all the memories, all this new stuff…there’s so much changing so fast. I don’t know if I can handle Goku, too.”

“Why not let Goku be new stuff too? Your heart can’t heal if you hold on the past.”

“Bulma, I’m just not ready to go through that again. Things were great with Delilah in the beginning too, and look where that led.”

“Goku’s not—“

I inhaled sharply.

“Look, I know he’s an old friend and you feel you know him inside and out—but love changes people. When you’re heart’s genuinely touched, your fear, your resentment, your old pain, they all come back. We think we know ourselves, and what we would and wouldn’t do, but love changes us down to our very atom; who we are with and without love are two different people. It’s like meeting a whole new person, and I don’t want to meet the other person that’s inside him…or remember the other person inside myself.”

There was silence on her end of the line. I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

“I just…it’s only been what, four, five months now? I’m not ready. Okay?”

“Okay Bels, I hear you. I understand.”

I nodded, slumping. “Thank you. Okay, let’s forget all that—you obviously have a Saiyan situation going on.”

I grinned at the sound of Bulma sighing.

“Yeah, yeah, there kinda is,” she admitted.

“I can hear you smiling, you know—quit trying to act cool, it’s me.”

“Ugh, fine…it’s fucking amazing.”

I laughed as she made a little squeal and shifted around.

“Okay, okay, so basically, he was being an idiot per usual and overdid it in the gravity chamber.”

“Oh, so he’s still an idiot, huh?”

“Since when isn’t Vegeta an idiot?”

With a chuckle, I shook my head, leaving my bedroom and going to the kitchen.

“Okay, so he injured himself, and what happened next?”

“Well, I started finding myself keeping watch over him, and worrying a little about him…he had these nightmares often, so I’d stay while he slept…just, ‘cause…you know…”

I couldn’t help the smile plastered on my face.

“Bulma!”

“Don’t make it weird,” she insisted, “It’s not—“

“Bulma, please, I’ve never heard you talk about a guy like that before! Not even that Yamcha guy you wrote about, and he fucking died.”

“Well the son of a bitch cheated on me,” she said, “Funnily enough, Vegeta—oh.”

I paused from pouring my orange juice, raising a brow.

“Oh?”

“So…I haven’t told you much about Vegeta, have I?”

“Oh, no.”

“No, no, it’s not that—okay, it’s pretty bad.”

***

“Look, all I’m saying is, if I were you, I’d have some qualms about getting involved with a definite war criminal.”

“He’s not—he isn’t a war criminal!”

“Have you made sure?”

“Bels, you don’t get it—Saiyans are a warrior race, they’re all about power and battles and violence. Goku’s an anomaly.”

“No,no, I’ve grasped that; I’m just saying I wouldn’t fuck a crazy person.”

“Oh, he’s not—“

I gave her an incredulous look, and she sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, I guess that’s fair.”

“Mhm.”

I shook my head and looked out the window, frowning at the scenery below. The last time I saw, there was ice, then ocean, but now we were flying over lush green hills I didn’t recognize. By my memory, we should’ve reached the city by now.

“Where on earth are we, by the way?”

“Uh—just visiting a friend. There’s someone I’d like you to meet. I think he could help you with your power.”

I tensed. “I told you I didn’t want—“

“Look, if you can’t at least control yourself we’re all gonna fucking die, so just do this for me, okay?!”

My eyes widened as she blurted out her argument, and I was humbled into silence.

“Hmph.”

“Hey, you’ll see! Piccolo’s not as crazy as all of the other guys. You guys might actually get along pretty easy.”

“I’m skeptical.”

She chuckled, turning and landing. I sighed, crossing my arms, hesitantly looking at our destination. It was an interesting looking house; small and white with a round purple window. I could only describe its shape as something akin to a combination of a sea creature and an insect. Bulma parked and hopped out, beckoning me to follow. I hesitantly jumped out and onto the ground, rubbing my neck. I was really tired of meeting all of these new friends. Some tension formed in my shoulder at the sound of a deep voice. Whoever this was, they already seemed disgruntled by our presence.

“Why are you here?”

“Hey, Piccolo! I brought that friend of mine I took you to see that was out for a bit, remember? You said you’d help her focus her ki.”

“Who?”

“Oh you know, the one with all that power? She blew up the testing chamber.”

“You brought her here?! You realize this is where I live, right?”

“Well you didn’t answer your phone—none of you muscle-heads do!”

“Oh, right, that thing. It broke.”

“It what?!”

I winced at the volume of Bulma’s horrified screech as I came up behind her.

“Oh, relax,” I dismissed, “you can replace one lousy phone. You could buy every phone factory on earth if you wanted to.”

I looked at this new friend, and a spark of recognition brought me some ease.

“Oh, right. Piccolo.”

He probably wasn’t as huge as Broly was, but this guy was undeniably a giant. He must’ve been, what, seven feet tall? I sighed.

“Man, I’m tired of feeling short.”

Piccolo measured me up with skepticism, black eyes calculating and sharp.

“So, you’re the Bellatrix I saw in the med bay?”

I wasn’t phased. “Yup.”

I popped my lips, holding his intense stare. His brow furrowed slightly, and I lifted a brow. Bulma glanced between us uneasily.

“What’s this I hear about you being able to help me with my ki?”

He gave a slight smirk. “Oh, you’re up for it? You don’t look the type to be inclined to fight.”

“And you don’t seem the type inclined to offer training,” I shot back, putting my hands in my pockets, “But you’re right. I don’t care about combat, I just want to control my power.”

“Mm. It is volatile, I’d understand wanting to control it. But power like yours demands to be used.”

I frowned at him. “Well, too bad. Should’ve picked a different meat suit. I’m a scientist, not a warrior. Can you help me or not?”

He was quiet for a while, maintaining our staring contest, but then he chuckled turning away.

“Fine. Let’s start now. I’ll get my weighted clothes.”

He went upstairs, and Bulma scoffed.

“He could at least say goodbye.”

She quickly turned to me with a bright smile. “See! Told you you’d get along! I’ll get you later, alright? We’ll go out!”

My eyes widened with slight alarm. “Wait, you’re leaving me alone with this guy?”

“I’ll be back,” she urged, rushing back to the ship.

“What the hell are you running for?!”

“Bye-bye!”

“What—Bulma! What the hell do I even talk to this guy about?!”

I watched her fly away with disbelief, feeling a bit of sweat forming on my forehead. I jumped and whirled around to meet Piccolo’s eyes looking down at me.

“Good, you can sense energy. At least you’re not a complete amateur.”

I gave him a blank look as he brushed past me. “Oh great, another charmer.”

“We don’t need to get along. I’m just teaching you.”

I scoffed, following him. “How do you expect to teach people things if you don’t get along with him?”

“Oh, great, another talker,” he muttered, “Just pay attention.”

We walked silently for what felt like an eternity, until we came across a quiet brook that seemed attached to a lake in the distance. It was surprisingly nice. Under the gentle climate of the day with the pleasant sound of water, I already felt a sense of ease.

“Have a seat,” Piccolo instructed, sitting down by the water.

I did hesitantly, crossing my legs like he did. He didn’t look at me.

“I hear your power skyrockets when your emotions get out of control.”

“Yeah. Like a defense mechanism.”

“I see,” he muttered again, turning his piercing eyes onto me, seeming to observe something in the air around me, “It makes sense; your ki’s terrible. So scattered and volatile.”

I was a little offended even though he was right. He grunted, closing his eyes and looking away.

“I think the best thing to do is focus on grounding your energy, and separating its use from your emotions. I know you don’t consider yourself a fighter, but at least for now, if you don’t train your ki, it’ll become more restless, explosive, and erratic. You need to do something about that anger inside you, too. Combat will help with releasing that frustrated energy inside you.”

I frowned at the water. I really didn’t want to do that. I had no business trying to measure up to these crazy people around me—I could sense their overwhelming power; they could all probably break me in half like a banana. This was all ridiculous, I could figure out my own way—

“And that ruminating needs to end, too.”

I froze up, looking at him in surprise. He was giving me a harsh stare that actually gave me a bit of a scare. Could he hear my thoughts?

“You know, you remind me of another kid I trained. He was meek like you, although he had the excuse of being a child. But he stepped up when the time came, and he tapped into his potential. You have the same potential in you. The only thing that will make this difficult is your desire to make it so.”

I stared at him, mouth slightly agape, brow knitted with arguments wanting to bubble up in defense. He rose a non-existent eyebrow at my dumb expression.

“I…I’m not a fighter,” I said plainly.

To my surprise, he smiled. “Neither is he. Not for a lack of trying, mind you. He’s just not like me or his father.”

My gut sparked at the mentioning of his father. “Father?”

“If it’s returning to a normal life you’re worried about, you can do that too. That kid’s in high school now, and he’d still as much of a nerd as he was when I first met him. I’m not trying to force you to change your life, but your potential shouldn’t be wasted.”

I stared down at the grass that tickled my shins, listening to the water. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was scared. I know nothing of this life. I didn’t want to jump into this sea of stuff completely blind. I’d spent so much time feeling helpless and confused, it didn’t seem to me that putting myself into more of that was going to help my issues.

“I’m not ready for that,” I admitted.

“You won’t always be ready,” he dismissed with some harshness, “Sometimes life comes at us before we’re ready, and we don’t get the choice to decide when to let it in. All you can do is ride the waves until it becomes easy.”

His words struck me, and I looked at him in surprise.

“Despite what you may think, you have the strength to ride those waves. I can sense it. The only thing making you weak is yourself.”

I picked up a few blades of grass, staring at them in my palm.

“I guess I’ll tell you. If you promise not to tell Bulma.”

“That’s not hard to do.”

“Okay, my brother’s dead.”

He was quiet, but didn’t seem put off by the information, so I continued.

“He died a few months ago in an accident, fighting off some private investigator my ex-girlfriend hired to follow me, and I’m living in the observatory she built me. And now, after getting a sense of emotional solid ground, I look up, and I’m an alien species with superpowers that destroy everything they touch, and everything I’ve believed since I was a kid has been a lie.”

I sighed, wiping off my hand.

“It’s not that I’m weak. I’m just tired. And confused, and scared, and frustrated, and nine-hundred other things. I just want things to be normal again.”

I looked to him again, a little surprised to meet his eyes. “But I don’t want to put the people I love in danger. So if training with you can help me do that, then fine.”

He regarded me quietly with a new glimmer in his eyes, then nodded.

“I can help you do that. I…apologize for misjudging you.”

I smiled a little, nodding in return. “Okay. When do we start?”

He looked at the water, taking a deep breath.

“Close your eyes, and we can start now.”

I did as instructed, frowning a little.

“What’s next?”

“Sit up straight and focus.”

I muttered, a little annoyed by his authoritative tone.

“Okay, bossy…”

After straightening up, I let out an exhale. I didn’t know what he meant by focus; but I didn’t want another demand given to me, so I just focused on the sound of the water. With time and silence, the quiet trickle had filled my ears, along with the gentle rustling of distant leaves and passing breezes. My breath had deepened.

“You’re a natural,” he remarked, voice softened remarkably, “I’m surprised.”

“I did this all the time as a kid. I grew up in a place not dissimilar to this.”

“I see. Well, since you’re focused, let’s try tapping into your ki. You’ve done it before, right?”

The mentioning of it would’ve usually given me an anxious knot in my stomach, but I’d gotten so zen that I just gave an affirmative hum. I thought of the night I blasted Goku through the clouds, remembering separating our hands and the sensation of that aura. I exhaled as warmth grazed my neck, then shoulders, until my entire body had been embraced by the mysterious sensation. It felt calmer this time; I could appreciate the sensation of it buzzing against my skin. I felt like a plant soaking up the sun.

“Good start,” he affirmed, “Now I want you to focus it between your hands.”

I thought of Goku’s kamehameha with a bit of concern. Piccolo seemed to glean what I was thinking, though.

“Nothing crazy, not an attack. Just create a ball of energy in your hands.”

That sounded a little crazy, but I digressed.

I straightened up, clearing my throat, falling back into the creek again. The warmth grew around me and expanded into a little bubble. As I inhaled, it shrunk around me, and with every exhale, it expanded. I got a little fright when I exhaled, and suddenly I could see Piccolo’s sitting figure behind my eyelids observing me.

“That’s good, now focus it.”

The thought of attempting to shrink this giant aura I’d created around us seemed impossible, but I just took a deep breath.

“Okay,” I whispered.

Contract, I told myself as I inhaled, then exhaled, then inhaled again. I managed to shrink to just around me—Piccolo disappeared, although I could acutely sense his energy next to me. I shivered as the warmth left my shoulders and neck, and soon the giant sphere had become the size of a volleyball. There was a light shining against my eyelids that distracted me though.

Trying to ignore it, I contracted the sphere further, feeling the heat mounting beneath my palms as it got smaller and smaller. The light got brighter, too, and my the time I’d managed it into a ball, I was squeezing my eyes shut to block out the light.

“Take a look,” Piccolo said.

I curiously opened my eyes, and stared in marvel at the bright red ball of energy between my hands.

“Woah.”

“That’s your ki. I’m honestly impressed it’s so malleable.”

I widened my hands, willing the ball to grow, then shrink again. It looked like fire—if it didn’t blind you, of course—but it felt nothing like it. It was like night and day from the ki I’d felt when Bulma ran her test: this felt like life force; creation.

“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.

“Mm. I want you to keep working on that,” he said, suddenly rising to his feet.

I moved to do the same, but he gave me a look that kept me seated.

“Keep meditating and manipulating your ki. I’ll come back later.”

“”Kay.”

I did as instructed, shutting my eyes and expanding the ball of ki to surround me again. On second thought, Bulma might’ve been right for once; Piccolo wasn’t bad at all compared to the characters I’ve met the past few weeks. One hour with him and I’d become the calmest I’ve been in weeks. As the warmth kissed my skin, I smiled a little. I could sit by this creek forever, listening to it babble. I sighed peacefully.

“Hey, there ya are!”

The alarm of hearing Goku’s voice sent me flying into the air, and the warm ki immediately blasted out of control. Goku let out a yelp as the force of it knocked him out of the air, and we both crashed onto the ground. I let out a groan as a painful ache bloomed throughout my shoulder.

“Agh, shit…”

“Bellatrix! You okay?”

Goku rushed over to me, helping me up to my feet. I sighed, rubbing my shoulder in annoyance.

“I’m fine, it just hurts a little.”

“Heh, sorry about disturbing you. Your energy felt really good there for a moment.”

He rubbed my shoulder, smiling apologetically.

“Goku? What are you doing here?”

I removed Goku’s hand quickly in embarrassment as Piccolo lowered to the ground, approaching us. He gave Goku a reprimanding look.

“I sensed her energy scattering out of nowhere, I thought there was some kind of attack.”

Goku chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry! I just heard from Bulma that Bellatrix was training with you and I wanted to see!”

"She doesn't need the distraction," Piccolo said, eyeing me curiously.

I avoided his gaze with a blush; I could feel my ki blazing wildly inside me as Goku stood next to me.

"What? Bellatrix doesn't mind! Do ya, 'Trix?"

He looked down at me with a smile, and my energy knotted up even more. I looked away.

"Ahem...uh..."

"Goku, go bother Vegeta," Piccolo commanded a bit more firmly, "You're making her energy go haywire."

Goddamn it. I gave Piccolo a dirty look as Goku looked between us in surprise. He looked at me questioningly. I gave an awkward smile.

"Just swing by Bulma's place later."

He nodded, smiled, and flew off. I watched him go for a moment until I realized Piccolo was still there, then I whirled around, fixing my eyes on the ground.

"Go back to meditating," he instructed, turning away.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Sir, yes sir."

He took off as I sat back down on the ground, crossing my legs. I took a deep breath, starting to listen to the water again. My phone buzzed in my pocket.

I sighed sharply, rolling my eyes and taking it out.

My eyes widened.

Mom.

***

"You sure you want us to come?"

"She said she wanted to meet my new friends," I muttered, fiddling with the pens on her desk.

"Bulma, I don't like this thing," Goku complained, walking into the lab.

I glanced over briefly, then did a double take in confusion, seeing his new outfit. He wore boots, jeans with a brown belt, a white t-shirt, and a brown leather jacket. I stared quietly, unable to tear my eyes away.

"Wh--why are you dressed like that? You can wear your gi, you know."

"What? But Bulma said--"

"Bulma said nothing," she suddenly interjected, pushing him out of the room.

She shut the door behind her, giving me a smile. I gave her a confused look.

"What--"

"His gi was filthy," she said quickly.

"Okay..."

"Okay."

My eyes narrowed, but I didn't have the mental resources to be suspicious.

"Mm."

"What?"

I looked at her in confusion. "What?"

"That 'hm', what is that? I'm not doing anything!"

I laughed a little. "You know, you have got to work on being less conspicuous."

"I just want to make him a bit more presentable--"

"Mm, to meet my parents."

"It's not like that," she insisted, putting on some earrings, "Your family is very intelligent and a bit more...sophisticated than Goku."

I snorted, then laughed. "What? My family? C'mon, really?"

She gave me a look in the mirror. "Well, Adam is at least."

"Heh, yea--"

I fell silent, my stomach falling. "Oh."

Bulma paused, turning around to look at me.

"What is it—"

"Bulma, how long do I have to wear this thing? My arms feel like sausages..."

I glanced in a panic between the two as Bulma rolled her eyes, pushing Goku out of the room again.

"Wait. Outside."

She closed the door with an exasperated sigh, going back to the mirror and checking her makeup.

"I'm excited to see everyone," she said brightly, "I haven't heard from them in months, I was worried."

My voice was caught in my throat as I shakily got up. She rummaged through her purse to make sure everything was inside, then slung it over her shoulder, heading for the door. I rushed over before she reached it, grabbing her wrist.

"Bulma."

My intense stare stopped her in her tracks, and she fell silent, frowning.

"Bels?"

I squeezed her wrist, breath trembling. "I...it's...I need to tell you something."

"Well, we're gonna be late--"

"It's Adam."

Her jaw snapped shut and her eyes locked on me. I sighed.

"I'm...really sorry I haven't told you sooner."

"Did something happen? Is he okay?"

"He...he's dead."

Her jaw went slack in disbelief, and I watched the confusion in her eyes as my words processed through her mind.

"What?"

"There was an accident; Delilah sent this P.I. after me and there was a fight, and--"

"Adam's dead?!"

I winced at her raised tone. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, I’m…I’m not mad, I…”

She stumbled over to her desk and collapsed into the chair. She stared at her hands.

“It explains a lot, though.”

I watched her sit in silence, then crouched down with a sigh.

“Wait, Delilah sent a P.I. after you? I—what—what happened?”

“You know Delilah, can’t leave me unattended for more than an hour. I sensed I was being watched, and I told Adam. He and the guy got into a tussle, then this motorcycle…and…”

I clapped my hands together, making an explosion sound.

“The ambulance came, but he had no chance.”

“Bels…did you see him die?”

I stared down at my hands.

“I never left his side.”

The ride over to my family home was silent. Bulma gripped the steering controls with a white-knuckle grip, and I sat beside her in silence, hesitant to look at her—if she was crying, I would cry, if she was upset, I would be ashamed. If she had no expression, I would give her one in my mind. Goku was surprisingly quiet; he didn’t ask what had happened, but he could sense the change in everyone’s mood and acted accordingly.

We landed near the farmhouse, and the sight of my parents’ home in the distance, warm and cozy and beckoning, made my stomach twist with anxiety. I didn’t know what to expect or what to do; how to act…I hadn’t visited since Adam had died, I hadn’t talked to any of my siblings or family. With a swallow, I took Goku’s hand as he smiled up at me gently, helping me out and to the ground.

“You’re shaking,” he said with some concern.

“I’ll be fine.”

He nodded, and moved to let go of my hand, but I didn’t let him. We exchanged a look, and he smiled again, squeezing my hand gently.

“You ready, Bels?”

I turned immediately at the sound of Bulma’s voice, and nodded.

“I can’t stay out here all night, anyways.”

She spied our interlocked hands and tilted her head, but didn’t give any outward reaction, turning around and walking ahead. We followed. Goku spoke to me in a hushed voice.

“Is she mad or somethin’?”

“I told her about Adam.

I lagged behind for a moment, leaning over to him.

“Keep this between us, but…she was a little in love with him.”

His eyes widened in surprise.

“I thought it was always just Yamcha…”

“I mean, they never got together, of course, Adam wasn’t…you know.”

“What?”

“Available.”

“What, he had a wife?”

“A boyfriend. Occasionally.”

“Oh…”

I smiled a little. “Yeah. But they were still close…although Adam was close with everyone.”

I watched her solitary figure brush past the dogs that ran up excitedly to greet her.

“She’s family, you know?”

“Yeah.”

I watched her go up to the porch and knock on the door. It opened, and my mother’s arms immediately shot out to embrace her tightly. They swung a little, then Bulma turned around. I hurriedly let go of Goku’s hand once I met my mother’s bespectacled eyes. Her gaze softened, and she smiled. I gave a strained one in return, waving a little. She waved back, gave Bulma a nod, and the two went inside. Goku and I had stopped walking.

I stared at the door quietly, hearing music coming from the windows being carried by the breeze. My legs felt like jelly. Goku eyed me curiously.

“You goin’ in?”

I blinked, looking up at him, then rubbed my chest as my heart pounded against it.

“I don’t…”

I bent over, feeling dizzy, bracing myself on my knees. I felt a bit nauseous. I felt Goku’s hand on my back, then both of then take my shoulders and pull me upright.

“Hey, they’re your family,” he said, pulling me in with his eyes, “They’re not gonna bite. I’m sure they missed you a lot.”

I held onto his hand, trying to take a deep breath.

“But I…if…”

“What?”

“If I go in there, without Adam,” I muttered, “It makes it all real.”

He was quiet. I wanted to lean against him, to feel some solidity; my body was all smoke right now. Goku hummed quietly, then looked into my eyes with a smile.

“Why don’t you show me the farmhouse first?”

I let out a labored breath. “What?”

His smiled faded. “Are you okay?”

“I can’t…”

I placed my hand over my chest, crouching down. Goku moved down to the ground with me, looking with concern.

“You’re not having a heart attack, are you?”

“Just feels like it,” I assured, breath trembling, “I think I’m having a little panic attack, that’s all.”

“Panic attack?”

“I’m just…feeling very scared.”

I looked at him, then averted my eyes in discomfort.

“Just give it a minute…”

Before I could pull away, he took me up in his arms, holding me against his chest. My eyes widened. I froze, but quickly fell slack at the sound of his steady heartbeat.

“You don’t have anything to be scared about. I won’t let you get hurt.”

I crumbled in his embrace, my pants leg soaking up the dew from the grass, inhaling his scent, hands trembling as I timidly grabbed onto his arm. I shut my eyes, feeling myself sinking into him, feeling his calmness, his steady energy, and I felt my own begin to calm down in response.

“That’s it,” he encouraged quietly.

My heart jumped. What was happening?

“Goku,” I whispered.

“It’s alright.”

I took a deep breath, feeling how my body rested in his strong arms. I felt his warmth; I could feel that little sun he shone onto everything around him, and it bathed me in its gentle light. I opened my eyes, staring down at the grass.

“I’m sorry, I keep having meltdowns around you.”

He laughed. “I don’t mind.”

I felt his laugh vibrate in his chest. The claw that gripped mine loosened its hold. I took a full breath.

“Why are you so nice to me?”

He touched my face gently, and to my surprise, the tension in my chest eased a bit more at the feeling.

“I like you,” he said plainly, “Why wouldn’t I be nice?”

I looked up at him, realizing how close we were—with Goku, proximity always seemed to become a very important concept.

“You’re too nice,” I whispered, glancing down at his smile and meeting his eyes again.

He only smiled more, shaking his head.

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

He leaned closer, chuckling. I didn’t retreat—I turned my body to him, wanting to take in the smile that glowed in his eyes. He pressed his forehead against mine.

“Nuh-uh.”

I laughed a little, and his smile got bigger.

“Your laugh is pretty,” he said, letting me go as I pulled away.

“You’re too nice,” I reprimanded, “Too nice and too sweet.”

We stood up, and he beamed at me.

“You’re not scared now, right?”

I shook my head, laughing again. He frowned.

“No, I’m not.”

“What’s so funny?”

I couldn’t contain my smile. “Nothing. You hungry?”

“Something’s funny,” he pressed.

We walked to the house, and I looked at him then glanced away.

“What is it?”

I didn’t know what to say. I reached up and pinched his cheek gently. He smiled and did the same in response, making me smile. The sound of barking took my attention away from him as the family dogs bounded up to us, tongues flailing and tails wagging eagerly. I knelt down, embracing them as they knocked me over on the ground, licking my face and sniffing me. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“He—Hello you two—oh gosh!”

My cheeks ached as I scratched their heads, struggling to sit up. Goku watched me with a smile, but was quickly overtaken by our giant hounds’ curiosity. He stumbled and chuckled, patting their heads as they circled, sniffed, and nudged him around.

“Woah, hey, hi!”

“Don’t let them bully you,” I warned.

“Oh, I’m sure—woah—“

I grinned as they knocked him on the ground, licking his face too. Goku laughed heartily, trying to shield his face.

“At least they like you.”

“Heh, yeah—hey—“

I whistled, snapping to bring them over to me. “Okay, that’s enough.”

They looked over and trotted over, sitting. I got up and helped Goku to his feet.

“They’re cute,” he said brightly, “And weirdly strong…”

“You should probably wash your face when we get inside.”

I wiped off his shoulder, then clicked my tongue as an amused smile grew on my face again.

“Awe, your jacket’s all covered in fur now. Not very presentable.”

“It’s not?”

“No, not at all. You should probably take it off.”

I nudged him with a playful look as we reached the porch. He grinned back, taking it off and slinging it off of his shoulder. I knocked on the door, looking at Goku again—he’d gotten some fur in his hair. I chuckled, pressing up on my toes and holding onto his shoulder to keep me steady as I plucked them out of his hair. He looked down in pleased confusion.

The door swung open and I was hit with a familiar ‘ooo’. I froze, my cheeks heating up as I turned to look at my older sister. Gita grinned, hazel eyes shining mischievously behind her glasses. She crossed her arms and leaned on the doorframe, glancing between us curiously.

“Well, well, is this why you haven’t come around, Trixie? Got a new boyfriend?”

I rolled my arms, looking away. “He’s not my boyfriend, Gita.”

Her eyes crinkled as she laughed. “Oh, sure, not yet! What’s your name, handsome fella?”

“I’m Goku.”

“Goku. Nice to meetya. I’m Gita, Trixie’s big sister.”

She shook his hand firmly, making her bangles clink against each other.

“Oh, firm grip,” she remarked, taking her hand back and placing both on her hips, “You’re as strong as you look.”

She nodded, patting his shoulder with a smile. “Come on in, food’s almost ready.”

Gita opened the door for us, welcoming Goku in and giving me a wink. I shook my head profusely, but she only chuckled, pinching my cheek.

“Still so shy, huh, lil sis?”

The sound of Bulma’s laugh danced along the walls as music and the aroma of food reached my senses. Gita rubbed my shoulder, and we lingered by the door for a moment as she gave me a meaningful look.

“How are you doing?”

I looked at her, smiling a little. “It’s…not easy.”

She nodded. “I know. It hasn’t been easy for any of us.”

I hummed, looking at the ground. She wrapped her arm around me, then pulled me into a tight embrace.

“I’m glad you’re finally here. We’ve all been waiting for ya, kid. No one blames you.”

I slowly hugged her back, inhaling the scent of gardenias that clung to her dark, silky hair, feeling my heart release a little.

“I missed you guys a lot,” I said quietly, “I just, I couldn’t—“

She rubbed my back soothingly, making me fall silent.

“I know. We missed you, too.”

She pulled back, smiling. “You have nothing to explain. Okay?”

I nodded. She cupped my cheek, giving me a hard look.

“I want to hear you agree, Trix.”

I smiled. “Okay.”

She nodded. “Okay. Let’s go. You still have Kuno and Cai left to give you a hard time about your piece of man candy.”

I grumbled as she laughed again, ushering me inside.

“He’s not—“

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you’ve already talked Bulma’s ear off with your friend spiel.”

I blushed. “I don’t—“

“Well, look at you, all grown up.”

I turned to see Kuno eyeing me up, blonde eyebrows raised. A smile played on his lips as he came over to me, uncrossing his arms as I gasped.

“What the fuck did you get so ripped for,” I accused in disbelief.

He laughed, trapping me in a bear hug and picking me up. I fought to breathe but patted him on the back. He’d completely changed from the skinny guy I remembered.

“Hey, I’ve been hitting the gym,” he said, with a shrug, “Not to mention all the heavy lifting at work.”

“What do you do now?”

“Moving company,” he said, picking up a wine glass off of the dining table and passing it to me, earning a dirty look from Gita, “Furniture, boxes, the like.”

“Although, your guy over there’s giving me a run for my money,” he said, nudging me with his elbow.

“He’s not my guy,” I insisted, taking a sip of wine, “If everyone keeps saying that, I’m gonna need this more than Gita.”

He chuckled, patting my shoulder. Cai and Bulma’s laughs rounded the corner into the dining room before they did, cheeks flushed and holding glasses of liquor. I shook my head with a smile.

“God, what is it with this family and alcohol,” I remarked, sipping from the glass as well.

“Nothing wrong with having a good time,” Kuno said, patting my head, “You’ve been gone too long.”

I smiled at him, pushing him lightly and leaving the room. Bulma seemed better, which eased some of the pressure in my chest. A bit of it returned at the sight of my parents and Goku hitting it off in the kitchen, though. My mom caught sight of me first as they all laughed together, and came over to me, eyes twinkling.

“Oh, baby, I’m so glad you’re here.”

She kissed my forehead, hugging me tenderly. I hugged her back.

“Hey, Mom.”

“How are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good.”

“Mm, you need anything? Bulma taking care of you?”

“I actually moved back to the observatory. Had to call Delilah but she agreed. It’s mine now.”

She smiled and nodded, but her eyes showed concern.

“I don’t like the idea of you being out there in the ice all alone…”

I chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry, I don’t see myself being left alone for a while.”

My father’s laughter caught my attention, and I glanced between him and Goku. Mom pinched my cheek, giving me a smile.

“He’s sweet,” she said, leaning over towards me, “Nice catch.”

“He—“

With a sigh, I smiled back, shoulders slumping a little. Might as well take the compliment at this point. Goku turned and smiled, and I smiled back shyly—he had to have heard that. My father finally saw me around him, and his eyes lit up.

“Oh, Bellatrix! I swear, I didn’t even recognize you, you look so beautiful—oh, come here!”

I gasped for air as my father laughed, squeezing me in an even tighter bear hug than Kuno’s.

“Dad—Dad!”

“Oh, I’ve missed my little starlight so much!”

I blushed as I met Goku’s eyes, seeing his amused smile.

“Dad!”

“God, you’re all skin and bones; let’s get you fed—honey, are we all ready to eat?”

“Dad, I’m dying here,” I gasped out.

Mom laughed. “Yes, I think—oh no!”

Her eyes widened in sudden recollection. “I forgot desert!”

“I think I’m blacking out—“

“Oh no! That’s no good at all! We’ve got dinner all ready to go, though…”

“We can get it,” Goku offered.

Dad turned to him, swinging me along with him.

“Oh, you’d do that for us son? Thanks so much.”

“I’ll go write up a list—keep the food warm, honey!”

Mom rushed off, and Goku gently pried me out of my father’s arms, earning a grateful look from me. He chuckled, leaning down to say something in my ear.

“Little starlight?”

I slapped his shoulder, sputtering in embarrassment as he straightened up and laughed.

“Shut up.”

Mom shoved a list and keys in my hand, along with a wad of cash and ushered us out of the door in a panic.

“And don’t dilly dally, you two!”

I laughed softly as the dogs ran up to us again, sniffing and barking and circling us as we got in the car. I was about to turn the ignition, but gave Goku a look.

“Seatbelt.”

“Oh! Sorry.”

He buckled up, and we were off.

***

Dinner was loud, happy, and plentiful. I sat between Gita and Bulma, laughing, drinking, and laughing some more. There was so much joy in one little room that I felt that it could burst open at any second. Goku, Kuno and my father all bounced off of each other seamlessly, and when Goku was, well, Goku, they only seemed to appreciate it more.

“You’re quite the simple man, Goku,” my father remarked, patting him on the shoulder with a beaming smile, “God, you’re just made of muscle aren’t you? He’s gonna give you a run for your money, Kuno!”

Kuno laughed, shaking his head. “Oh, that is one race I’ll gladly avoid.”

Goku glanced between them with some confusion, but kept smiling nonetheless.

“Heh, thanks!”

I nudged Bulma. “See, they like him, even without the jacket.”

She gave me a look, and I laughed, sipping more wine. My eyes gravitated to the empty seat between Cai and Mom. A steaming plate of food sat there, accompanied by his favorite childhood cup half filled with brandy. I smiled at it bittersweetly. For the first time, his absence didn’t feel so brutal.

“—Eh, Trix?”

I blinked in confusion, realizing everyone was looking at me. Mom looked at me soulfully, a gentle smile formed on her lips. Kuno cleared his throat, and Cai rubbed his shoulder soothingly. I looked around with some shame.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean—“

“There’s nothing to feel sorry for honey,” Dad assured, “We all feel it too.”

I looked to Bulma, seeing her staring at the empty chair with misty eyes. I pulled her close and embraced her firmly, placing a kiss on her forehead. She leaned her head against mine, wrapping an arm around my waist. I closed my eyes.

For the first time, it wasn’t just me who felt the pain of his absence, and the world kept spinning despite it.

Cai stood, raising his beer bottle.

“To Adam,” he said, “The only grown man I knew who drank brown liquor out of a superhero cup.”

With a laugh, I raised my glass.

“To the best man I ever knew,” I added.

Kuno rose his. “To the man who never gave up on me.”

Some emotion rose up my throat at his words, and I felt my eyes threaten to water. I smiled.

“Here, here.”

Kuno nodded at me soberly, still managing a smile on his face.

Everyone raised their glasses and cups in silence for a moment, until my father spoke.

“To have lost a man like him is something no one could ever recover from,” he said, looking down at his plate wistfully, “But he’s with us all. Each of us carry a piece of his love in our hearts, and for that we should all keep smiling.”

Mom hummed in affirmation. “Mm, yes. He’d want us to be smiling.”

Bulma sniffed, and I felt some droplets fall onto my chest. I stroked her hair, and Dad came over to take her hand.

The superhero cup of brandy knocked over.

I froze, looking in shock. Everyone’s attention snapped to the spilling brandy, the rolling cup that gradually stilled, and the wind billowing through curtains that covered a window that definitely hadn’t been open before.

I smiled, feeling my eyes growing misty.

“I think he wants us to stop being so down in the dumps,” I said quietly, “Typical.”

I could feel him. I could remember him. The smiling big brother I’d known and loved. Somehow the blood had become a forgotten dream.

***

“Okay, okay, let me just—“

I giggled as I fumbled for the light switch and Goku clung to me, half holding me steady and half gluing himself to my body.

“Goku!”

“What,” he whined.

“Someone’s gonna see,” I insisted, still laughing at the feeling of him nuzzling my shoulder, “Hey, that tickles!”

“Everyone’s outside, no one’s g’na see,” he muttered, “They all know, anyways…”

“Know what?”

He laughed, holding me tighter. I finally flicked on the light switch and we stumbled inside my old bedroom, Goku shutting the door behind him as I opened the window. I sighed, turning around to see him creeping around my childhood telescope and squeaked, moving him away.

“Be careful!”

“I’m not gonna break it,” he said, smiling.

I giggled as I guided him to the bed, and we both collapsed with a groan.

“God, my family can drink…”

“I see where you get it from,” he said.

I laughed. “Oh please, I tapped out after three glasses of wine.”

Goku stared at me as my laughter slowly faded, and I held his gaze. I frowned in confusion.

“What?”

He moved closer, swallowing.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, “So beautiful and so smart and funny…”

I giggled nervously. “Thanks, I guess.”

“I mean it,” he said.

“Okay.”

“No…it’s not okay.”

His eyebrows creased, and he touched my face.

“It’s not okay…”

My drunkenness wore off slightly as Goku’s thumb stroked my cheek repeatedly while I stared into his eyes. The room was still spinning around us, but I was stilled by his gaze. I took his hand in mine, moving closer to him. The space remaining between us felt so vast—how were we going to bridge it? I shut my eyes, placing his hand on my chest. Goku inhaled sharply.

“Feel that,” I asked.

“Feel—feel what?”

“How steady my heart is. My heartbeat.”

“Yeah?”

“That’s what you do to me.”

He fell silent. I pressed his hand closer.

“No one else makes me feel this except you.”

I opened my eyes, holding his gaze. “…No one else is like you, Goku.”

With some uncertainty I reached out and touched his face, feeling my hand tremble slightly as my palm cupped his cheek. I smiled at the feeling of him, of the warmth, of his presence. Maybe it was the alcohol, but in this moment, I didn’t want him to leave my side ever again.

“You’re too sweet,” I said, tracing his jaw with my fingertip, “Too sweet.”

His voice asked a soft question. “Bellatrix?”

I almost wanted to touch his mouth, to feel his voice passing through his lips. I sighed.

“Shit Goku, what did you do to me?”

“What? I didn’t do anything. At least…I don’t think…”

I laughed softly, shaking my head. “Oh, you did something, alright. You’re doing it right now.”

“I am?”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re not very convincing when you act coy, Goku.”

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer—the vastness that seemed so daunting was shattered in mere seconds.

“I like you,” he said, brushing his nose against mine, “I like you a lot.”

I grinned. “Yeah, I know.”

“No, I really like you.”

“I know.”

“Like…like Chichi…”

I laughed again. “Goku, I think we’re a bit drunk.”

“N-no, did you hear me? I like you.”

“I heard you,” I assured softly.

He smiled, gently taking my chin. “Do ya like me?”

I hesitated despite myself. I let out a sigh as Goku waited for me to answer with increasing unease. The words I’d been holding back spilled out.

“I’m scared.”

“Scared?”

“I like you, Goku, but I’m scared.”

I took the hand that held my chin, timidly brushing my lips against it, shutting my eyes.

“If I lost you too…”

My breath trembled as I pressed my lips against his knuckles.

“My heart would break all over again, and I don’t know if I’d survive it.”

“I’m not like her,” he whispered.

I smiled, placing his hand on my waist and pulling him closer, pressing my face into the crook of his neck, pressing my lips against his pulse, losing myself in him.

“You always smell so nice,” I said.

“‘Trix,” he insisted, “I’m not like her.”

“You’re not like anybody, Goku.”

I pulled away from his neck and looked at him again.

“People like you, like my brother…you can’t be replaced. You know that, right? It always leaves a hole when you’re gone, and it won’t get filled again because there’s no one like you that can heal it.”

I looked down at his lips. I finally touched them, caressing them with the pad of my thumb.

“If I fell in love with you…and I lost you…”

His hold around me tightened.

“I won’t ever leave you.”

“I didn’t say leave,” I corrected with a chuckle, “I said lost.”

His brow furrowed, and I rubbed the wrinkles until it relaxed. He let out a sigh, shutting his eyes.

“Of course you wouldn’t leave. People like you don’t leave. People like you are taken away.”

“I won’t get taken.”

“Yes, you will.”

“No, I won’t.”

I pulled back slightly, looking him square in the eye.

“You died before, right? While you were with Chichi? Your son? How do you think it felt for them when you were taken away?”

“I…I know it wasn’t easy—“

“Easy? Look at how I’ve been without Adam.”

I poked his temple with a chuckle. “I want you to hear me. Get these words into that Saiyan brain of yours.”

He looked at my mouth intently, making me grin.

“When you die, the people you love die with you. When you go off doing amazing things, the people you love are left behind, aching for you. Us normal people aren’t as strong as you are, we can’t hang on and keep up with your story. We don’t want a story. We want a simple life. We want to be happy, do good work, and have peace and love—and we want to love you.”

There was pregnant silence until he smiled.

He took my face in his hands, eyes twinkling. “You want to love me?”

I sighed sharply. “Did you hear a single word I said?”

“Yeah, I did. But…you want to love me?”

He grazed my lips and my jaw with his knuckles, and, feeling the slight callous formed, I pressed my lips against it.

“I don’t think I have a choice at this point. It’s going to happen…I can feel it. I’m going to fall in love with you. And I’m scared. You’re—you’re so beautiful and…I can’t—”

I sighed, trying to gather my thoughts. “I can’t lose you, too.”

“You won’t,” he assured firmly.

I smiled. “Goku…you can’t promise that.”

“Yes, I can. I won’t.”

There was a fire in his eyes that shook me. I bit my lip, then let out a sigh.

“I can’t lose you, either.”

I looked up at him in surprise.

“You’re all I can think about sometimes. You always make me feel so great and so happy. I didn’t think it was possible to feel that way about someone else besides Chichi.”

He pressed his forehead against mine, lips ghosting over mine as he let out a shaky breath.

“I really messed up with her…I can’t mess up with you, too.”

“Goku…”

For some reason, the thought of kissing him actually dawned on me for the first time. I pressed my hand against his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to do this again.”

The possibility of his lips was so close. It made me feel hasty. Thirsty. Anxious. Goku felt it too, I could tell. He swallowed nervously.

“That’s okay. I never feel ready to do anything.”

I laughed. “You’re too sweet, Goku.”

I could feel the feverish urge building between us.

“You’re…perfect,” he breathed.

I shook my head. “No one’s perfect. It’s a good thing.”

“Bellatrix…”

“Yeah?”

“I need to kiss you.”

“I know.”

“Right now.”

“I know.”

We were silent. I stared at his mouth. He waited for me eagerly—always so gentle, so careful with me. I needed him, I knew it. I blinked, trying to keep whatever wits I had left about me.

“We can’t go back to how we are now, if…if we do that.”

“I don’t want to.”

Oh, god.

He licked his lips, clearly struggling to contain himself.

“I need you, ‘Trix…I can’t fight it anymore. I need you.”

His words echoed in my mind. I need you.

My eyebrows creased. I swallowed.

“I—“

He inched closer, hand inching down my waist to my hip. I leaned towards him.

“I need you too.”

His hand took hold of my hip firmly, pulling my body against his. My leg passed over his hips, and the bed creaked as my knees sunk into the mattress. My face was flushed—here I was, straddling the man I swore up and down I wasn’t going to give in to. I stared down at his face, his shining eyes, his slight smile, his tousled hair from the fun of the night; it as all so beautiful.

His hands clung to my hips, teasing the possibility of embarking to the bare skin under my shirt. I leaned down, cupping his cheek, pressing a soft kiss onto the corner of his mouth. His hands twitched and held onto me tighter. With a smile I leaned up and he followed, seeking to return the kiss. I placed another on his cheek, coaxing him to sit up fully and resting on his lap. Goku laughed breathlessly. I stared at his curved, laughing mouth and slung my arms over his shoulders, pressing my weight onto him and tilted my head.

“Are you sure,” I whispered.

“Please,” he muttered, brushing his lips against mine, “Come here already.”

I laughed softly at the cracks in his restraint.

“I don’t want to make a mistake for us,” I said, “We need to decide.”

He took my face in his hands, smiling. “I want you, Bellatrix.”

I smiled back, nodding. “Okay. I want you, too.”

His eyes crinkled as his smile grew. “Good.”

Goku’s focus quickly shifted to the matter of most importance though, and his hands roamed my body with newfound confidence.

“Now come here.”

Our breaths trembled as our lips finally met. He pressed his tongue into my mouth sharply and I softened his advance by making mine supple against his, taking a gentle hold of his face. He had so much friction in his energy now that he had been given the okay it made me wonder how long he’d been holding himself back—was it the first time we met?

It didn’t take much time for him to follow my lead and be more gentle with me. We moved further onto the bed soon after, unable to part our lips for even a moment. The bed creaked under our aimless movement as I eased onto my back and pulled him on top of me by his shirt, managing a smile and to pull myself away for a second.

“Bulma was…was diabolical to put you in these,” I said with a chuckle.

He quickly took my lips with his again, then smiled against my mouth.

“You like it?”

I tucked my fingers around his belt and tugged his hips further down between my legs and grinned.

“I fuckin’ love it.”

I shot up and kissed him a bit more passionately, my eyebrows furrowing. Goku moaned slightly, and I bit his lower lip, making him yelp a little in surprise and break his lips from mine.

“What was that for?”

I frowned, my mind starting to get clouded with lust. “Huh?”

“You bit me…did I do something wrong?”

“What?”

I chuckled, shaking my head. “Oh, shit, no, no, sorry, I should’ve asked if you liked that or not—“

“I do, I just didn’t know if—“

“Fuck, I’m sorry to cut you off, I just—“

I sighed desperately as I stole another kiss, gripping his jeans tighter as Goku sensed I’d changed somehow and kissed me harder, pressing himself against me. I felt how hard he was and my head spun—I was dangerously close to forgetting we were technically in my family home on the loudest mattress on earth.

“We should—we should be smart,” I muttered thoughtlessly between kisses, “Someone’ll hear the bed if we fucked right now.”

“But I want to fuck you now,” he complained a little, kisses starting to stray from my mouth, “I can smell you, how am I supposed to control myself when I can smell how ready your pussy is for me?”

I blushed as his sudden crassness, but it made me want him more. I laughed breathlessly, aching at the feeling of his hard cock against pressed against my clit through my jeans. He pressed a little harder and I grazed my nails over his arm, feeling a wave of heat pass through my whole body. He chuckled, capturing my parted lips and biting my lower lip in return.

“See?”

I was already unbuttoning my pants. He grinned, unzipping them, tracing the waistband of my underwear with his fingertips.

“Fuck, Goku, you’re gonna get me in trouble.”

“It’s okay,” he assured, voice growing husky, “I won’t fuck you if you don’t want it. I just…”

My brain didn’t even process what he’d done until Goku had tossed my pants to the floor and lowered my hips against the mattress again. Not one squeak, and he’d gotten my pants off already. I gasped as I felt his thumb swipe over my clit, then rub it gently. I bit my lip, grabbing onto his shoulder.

“Goku,” I whimpered quietly.

“I just need to taste you, that’s all.”

His voice had completely changed. His entire demeanor had changed; he sounded deathly serious. I could imagine this is how he was in a fight—composed, focused, precise, and absolutely ruining his opponent.

He pulled my underwear apart without much effort, and his breath audibly stilted at the sight of my soaked cunt. I could only hope one of us could keep from going over the edge.

He leaned down over me again, kissing me hungrily, prompting me to respond eagerly in kind.

“Can I feel you,” he asked breathlessly.

I had absolutely no idea what he meant by that, and no intention of turning him down.

“God, please, yes.”

The bed gave the slightest creak as he carefully pushed my legs farther apart and kissed down my body, pushing my shirt up to plant kisses all over my chest and abdomen, then sink his teeth into one of my hips, making me moan softly and grip his hair. His fingers gripped my thighs as his mouth found my pussy, and with a quiet grunt, slid his tongue inside of me, then ran it over my clit as one of his hands released me.

I had a brutal grip on his hair as his tongue continued to work its magic on my clit—it was taking everything in me to keep myself still, to keep my hips in place, to not cry out his name as he sucked on my clit, making my head fall against the pillow. My chest was heaving.

“Goku,” I gasped, “This—is not careful—!”

He slid his fingers inside of me and I was completely his.

“Fuck, don’t stop…”

He didn’t smile, he just kept devouring and fucking my pussy with his diabolical tongue and big, strong fingers. I grabbed onto the headboard with my other hand, trying desperately to keep my hips still as he planted kisses on my inner thigh as I started to clench around him. I could hear the way I was gushing around his fingers as he thrusted them in and out.

“That’s it,” he whispered against my skin, “C’mon, ‘Trix…”

I couldn’t speak a word, only crush the headboard under my grip as his mouth went back to my cunt, sending me over the edge, when—

I froze as Goku slid his fingers out, breathing almost as heavily as me. He pulled back and sat up, the moonlight shining down on his dark eyes as he put the two glistening fingers in his mouth, holding my gaze until he groaned, shutting his eyes. I was completely disoriented at this point as my body burned for release. His eyes opened again as he slid his fingers out of his mouth, grinning down at me.

“It’s just as good as I thought it would be.”

As I slowly started to realize he wasn’t going to give me the release I needed so badly, I put a hand on my forehead and laughed softly.

“Oh, you evil son-of-a-bitch,” I said, letting my legs fall to the side. “Thank fucking god.”

He chuckled as I sat up, looking him up and down and giving him a little glare.

“You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“Well, you definitely weren’t going to stop anytime soon.”

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. “And whose fault was that?”

He only gave me a big smile. I planted a kiss on his cheek, getting off of the bed and feeling around for my pants on the ground. When I found them, I tossed aside my torn underwear and put them back on.

“Where did my glasses go,” I whispered, “Are they on the bed somewhere?”

Goku handed me them as he stood, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck. I put on my glasses as I laughed softly.

“This is probably the only time I’m gonna ask for this, but can you instant transmission me to the observatory?”

“Can I stay the night?”

“Maybe if you’d let me come just now, but I don’t feel so generous anymore.”

“Awe, why not?”

I smiled up at him as he put his fingers to his forehead, and we disappeared from the dark, quiet bedroom.

***

“Rise and shine, boss.”

I inhaled sharply as the blinds automatically opened, and my bedroom filled with the cool, muted sunlight of an arctic morning. The lights turned on after and I groaned, turning to shield my eyes in Goku’s chest.

I paused, tensing up. Goku’s chest?

My eyes went from the white t-shirt to Goku’s peaceful face, and my brain spun. What…what was he doing in my observatory, in my bed? I tried to sit up, but he groaned in protest, holding me tighter—holy fuck, I’d been asleep in his arms. I racked my memory of the night before desperately—what could’ve happened to warrant waking up like this? We were clothed, but I didn’t have underwear on, which was concerning since I recalled going to a family dinner.

He nuzzled my neck, and it all came flooding back like an avalanche—the drinking, the smiles, the way his fingers felt inside me, the way I pulled his arms tighter around me was we fell asleep on the bed. I looked back at his face, his lips, and sighed quietly. Life happens, whether you’re ready or not.

I placed a gentle kiss on his lips to wake him up, smiling as he frowned, groaning again.

“Get up, you big goof,” I teased, “Or do you not want breakfast?”

His eyes slowly opened and he squinted down at me.

“…Bellatrix?”

My stomach flipped at the confusion in his eyes.

I sure as fuck am not ready.

#SoundCloud #Spotify #amaranthine_enihtnarama #my wriitng #black y/n #goku x reader #dragon ball goku #dbz fanfiction #dbz fics #son goku #fanfic authors #ao3 writer #🚬 feel alright 👾#goku smut #nsftumblr

94 notes · View notes

storyofheejin · 2 years

Text

O’ it’s my 𝐵𝐼𝑅𝒯𝐻𝒟𝒜𝒴 !

October 19, 2022. — Happy birthday to you, my dearest self, Jeon Heejin. I’m turning 23!

━━━━ ⌒♡.。

Dear, my precious self, Jeon Heejin.

There are so many things in life we can’t explain to anyone except ourselves, the one who knows us more than anyone else in this world, eventho sometimes we don’t get it why some things happened and for what. Everything keeps driven and spinning through the brain, and that’s okay. Now that I’m writing this, I want to tell you, my precious self, that you’re doing excellent to surviving, to be alive, to be here, to be you— yes to be myself. I’m so proud of me for always trying and never give up.

I remember when I was a little, my mom always hold me and told me that I’m the best gift that God ever gave her, yes ofcourse my siblings also. I love it when my parent tell me that I’m beautiful, they know how to make me the happiest daughter ever, and I love it that I was born to be my parent’s daughter. I am forever grateful for that.

Now that I’m turning 23, I’d express how thankful I am to be here, to be able to see the sunrise through the window of my room, for another year with the light of the sun, and to be able to see everyone smiling at me. That I can still write this now with the feeling of health and happiness as I should. I also thank God for blessing my days with joy and prosperity. And I couldn’t be more happier to be me. I’m truly loving what I’m living with now.

Time flies so fast… the baby you’ve seen in the pictures now turned into a beautiful 23y.o lady.

Honestly I never really put much meaning behind this occasion every year, yet it’s never really had much impact on me thou. But after meeting Orbits and the girls, I see that everyone is looking forward to my birthday more than I ever have, and ever since today is that special day, then, I want to show off how grateful I am for being given such unconditional love from everyone. There are so many things that I want to say to everyone actually, I can still remember when I was a child.. Little Heejin with hundred of dreams yet still don’t know where to go except playing around with friends. Running here and there without any idea of being what I’ve become now. If we recall the time back, time flies so fast... right... I’m a 23-year-old woman now. I’m no more a baby but still, I’ll be my family’s forever baby. hahaha.

hees_cake_ on Instagram made me the super cute birthday cake. Y’all better check their account first! <3

Speaking of which, my 24th birthday was one of the birthday celebrations that left the best impression in my entire life. Owing to the fact that on the 16th yesterday, exactly on the last day of the Loonaverse World Tour Concert in Korea, I celebrated my birthday with the Orbits! That surprised me a lot though, yet I never expected to be surprised by the members and all of the Orbits yesterday. I just did the concert and they came with the Stitch cake! My favorite character! Thank you for making me the happiest person that day. And I never get tired of saying that I am much obliged to be able to be at this point together with all of the Orbits and also my members, 이달의소녀. Today, I feel a lot of love that keeps coming to me, be it from my family, friends, fans, BlockBerry Creative staffs, even seniors and juniors from other groups. I will forever cherish this day. By the way, thank you for the Stitch cake and other Stitch-related gifts. Hehehe I love it so much!

This is the cake my mom gave me a week ago lol idk what it means either LOONA's 23 birthday or what HAHA mom is cute! I haven’t eaten the cake until now by the way........

I got this bunny-cake today by the staffs! I wonder… how to make this a whole cute bunny cake.. this is so flavorsome! It melts in the mouth because it’s mixed with cheese cream and chocolate, also it has choco balls on the soft cake so it’s a bit crunchy! So yummy!

Yours truly, the birthday girl,

Jeon Heejin.

•✦ ──────────────────────────────────── ✧•

Twitter | CuriousCat | 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘙𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘙𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥.

0 notes

momoshin · 4 years

Text

give in — ryujin

“where’ve you been? you reek” all of the members look up at you as yeji starts when you enter thru the door, and she’s right. you smell of sex and sweat not to mention your bra is missing, the zipper of your jacket is undone and your hair is no longer perfectly straight but tucked messily into your beanie and hood.

“just out” you breathe, you hear her hum and watch her nod into her book and everyone else resume their positions before walking to your shared room with chaeryeong to grab a change of clothes and shower, something you hadn’t been able to do in your friend’s apartment considering her roomates would be there soon.

you were ready to go to bed. so tired from all the practice and the extra curricular acfivities you had been up to today, it’s only 9 pm but your bed sounds so good right now you wouldn’t mind sleeping enough to wake up at the crack of dawn tomorrow, even if it meant having to make breakfast for the others. sadly, your members had other plans, because chaeryeong peeks her head into the room and says a simple “meeting in yeji’s room” before leaving, the door ajar waiting for you.

you groan and sigh and curse softly before walking out, wondering on your way there why in her room and not in the kitchen like usual, and the answer that receives you when you enter the leader’s room makes you regret slamming your room’s door when you got out. yuna’s not there, probably sleeping, and you’re in trouble, most likely.

“hey guys” you start, chuckling nervously as you sit on ryujin’s bed. “yuna’s birthday isn’t for another 11 months”

“we actually wanted to talk about you” lia starts from her spot leaning against the wall, chaeryeong on yeji’s bed, with ryujin and yeji just standing there looking at you with her arms crossed.

“uh,, sure” you try to look as calm as possible, waiting for any bombs to drop from their lips.

“who were you with, the truth this time” as expected, it’s yeji who asks, her gaze hard and intimidating as they all wait for you to respond.

“unnie i told you, out” shrugging, you roll your eyes “walking, if that helps”

“y/n, im being serious. where were you, who were you with? you were obviously doing something or someone if you didn’t tell any of us beforehand”

“since when do we announce our individual outings?” you start “all of you have gone out alone and not once have you told me where, and you don’t see me interrogate you for that”

“yeah but we don’t come home smelling of sex and looking like we were hiding from the paps” it’s chaeryeong this time, your roomate, your closest friend out of the five to throw you under the bus, and she’s no longer beside ryujin but next to yeji, her eyes also demanding answers and explanations.

“what the fuck chaer?” you sigh, rubbing your temples “yeah, i was out having sex tonight, that what you wanted to hear?”

“with who” yeji pries, arms still crossed over her chest. ryujin hasn’t spoken all this time, and lia scoffs at your answers every now and then, her arms mirroring yeji’s as she stays further back, one of her legs posted to support her on the wall.

“with a friend” you shrug again.

“just tell us who y/n” lia groans.

“im not telling you who it is!” it’s not funny, girly, gossip. it’s them furiously prying because they’re worried you getting caught might hurt the group.

“why not?” chaeryeong yells back at you

“because!” you sigh, exasperated, before getting yourself together and lowering your voice “we made a deal, i wouldn’t tell my members and neither would they”

“so it is an idol” yeji nods at your slip, as if she knew this whole time.

“oh fuck off” falling back on the mattress, you cover your face with your hands and curse at yourself for being so stupid and letting them get to you.

“is it a sunbaenim? a woman? or a boy?”

“oh my god” you groan at lia’s persistent voice, promising yourself you would not crack this time and would stand your ground. “im not saying anything else”

“it’s not a guy” chaeryeong says, and the four of you look at her because, how the fuck does she know?

“how do you know?” yeji reads your mind.

“she just looks different. we don’t really notice if she’s been with a guy she just tells us” and she’s right, not that they know of all your sexcapades, and not that they know most of them are women, but they’ve never noticed something’s off when it’s been a guy.

“oh” lia and yeji nod slowly, taking it all in. “so, is it a sunbaenim? from twice? a soloist? trainee?”

“actually that’s gross. the fact that you think i’d fuck a trainee” just at the thought, you shudder, or maybe it’s the thought of that one time, at her group’s mention, you can’t help but remember that time you had nayeon’s legs around your head... her pus— no, there’s no time for that right now. you shake the dirty memories out of your head, and rub your legs together to release the growing tension between them, and look up at them, already thinking of how to avoid their next question.

“we’re not gonna stop until you cave” yeji shrugs

“well im not” you lift your chin proudly, crossing your arms.

“yeah, you will.” lia starts. “because if not we will tell on you with manager-nim”

“you wouldn’t” gasping, you uncross your arms.

“don’t test me” she shrugs. you knew she would, but she couldn’t know you were bluffing. “so come on. spit it out”

“unnie, im being careful!” you raise your voice a little, already upset at the fact that they wouldn’t give it a rest.

“that’s useless y/n. every single person who’s ever been caught doing something wrong has been ‘careful” yeji says, quoting the word careful with her fingers.

“loona” and like you called her name, ryujin’s head snaps up, her mind already making up a million scenarios of you fucking the few friends she had in that group. what’s worse? she enjoys every single one of them. she wishes she could’ve been there to at least watch. though she quickly vanishes them from her head when she notices your members looking at her for the same reason, her friends.

“i didn’t fuck heejin, or hyunjin” you clarify, wanting to bring them peace or at least ryujin, but only the other three slump their shoulders in relief at your confession. “but, im not telling you who i did.” letting your hands fall on your thighs, you get up and closer to the door. “goodnight”

“where are you going? we’re not done” she catches your wrist before you can swing the door open, pulling you back to where you were before, in front of her and a little bit closer to ryujin.

“are you kidding me?” you scoff at yeji. “none of you wanted to fuck me, so i went out and found someone who did, it was good so i kept going back. you’ve never noticed until today and if you didn’t no one else did. im good at what im doing. hell! i’ve fucked half the people in this industry and none of you knew until i just said it!! leave me alone”

but before you can actually turn around and leave, ryujin quickly stands up, surprising all five of you when she smashes her lips against yours. one hand on your hair and one on your ass, squeezing expertly. the other three are just in shock as you are, but she tastes so good and her hands feel good against you, even when she sneaks one up your tshirt to rub at your already hardened nipples because of the cold, and you try to hold it but you can’t, eventually moaning and melting in her hold, that was rough and heavy but in a good way, making you wrap your arms around her neck.

“guys- what the fuck-“

“get out” ryujin groans against your lips, her hands tightening on your ass and tits, lips no longer on yours but so close that if you leaned just a little bit you could taste them again, you’re shameless really, and tomorrow you’ll probably hide from them all because you don’t think twice about your members in the room before joining your lips with hers again in another wet, hot kiss.

“ryujin that’s not a good-“

“she said she wanted to be fucked. so i will. get out” the words are barely mumbled, because she’s too busy getting back to your lips to care if they understand, because she’s too eager as she puts the other hand inside your pijama shorts feeling the lack of underwear and then your wet folds, throwing her head back and breaking your kiss to groan at the feeling. “fuck— leave”

you don’t expect them to actually, and you don’t really notice, you’re too preoccupied with the feeling of the pads of her fingers on your clit slowly making circles to notice, and its only when you hear a loud scoff and the door slightly slam closed that you realized they did leave– after all, if the door slam woke yuna up they probably would find a way to distract her from going in the room.

“was it good? hm? was she good?” you gasp, because she’s roughly turned you around to press her front against your back, her hand wrapping around your neck before the other goes back into your shorts, her fingers too slow for your liking as they dip in to gather some of your slick to spread around your lips and clit. “i asked you a question”

throwing your head against her shoulder, you bite your lip before taking a deep breath to answer, letting out a much too soft “yea” to her question

“do you think she could be better than me?”

“i dunno, you’ve never touched me” rolling your eyes, you turn your head to look at her now that her hand has stopped moving.

“is that what we’re saying now?-“

“we were trainees ryu. you said it was a mistake” you sigh, already thinking this was not going where you thought it was “are you going to touch me or should i go get myself off?”

“hm” she chuckles, kissing your cheek dangerously soft with her grip on your neck and jaw tightening slightly. “you’re never going back to her after im done with you.”

“i hope that’s a promise you keep”

“shut up” her voice is rougher, not sweet and playful like usual, just rough. “bend over the bed.”

you do as told, wanting to get back on her good side. it’s quite a sight, watching your shorts ride up enough for her to see your asscheeks falling out of them. she’s too comfortable, for a ‘first time’ but at this point, neither of you care, you want her, you have for a very long time, you’re too desperate to go over basics. you’re so desperate, that just her fingers running from the back of your thigh to your asscheek makes you shiver and gives you goosebumps.

“you’re dripping” she points out the obvious. “i can see it through your shorts.”

“so touch me ryujinnie, please” you’re backing up into her hand, begging for something, anything at this point.

she hums, finally pulling your shorts off your legs, immediately salivating at the sight of your pussy glistening, clit swollen at the lack of attention. “look at you, what do you want?”

“you, please” she chuckles after that, and you wonder if she even heard you with how small your voice had turned.

“are these hers?” she asks, hands pressing against recent hand prints on your ass, making your hips buck forward, startled.

“yeah” you sigh, wanting her to go over them at least once. “didn’t hit me hard enough”

“can i try?”

“please” that’s all it takes. she rubs circles on one of your asscheeks before her hand raises and falls with a heavinly burn against your skin, eliciting a louder whimper out of you. every spank leaves a sting more enjoyable than the last, and you’re soon backing your ass up against her hand for more.

“what do you say?” she holds her hand at a safe distance from your ass, waiting for you to answer correctly before slapping the red skin

“t-thank you” a gasp is what you let out when she strikes her hand against your ass once again.

“good girl” she smiles, full of pride. “now turn around and spread your legs for me”

you stumble across pillows on the bed and such, too eager to be careful right now, and position yourself on your back, legs wide open for her with a hand going down to spread your wetness around your lips

“don’t do that” she slaps your hand away, getting on her knees to be face to face with your pussy. she only spits on it, as if you needed more lubrication, spreading it with two of her fingers, too slow for your liking.

she watches the way you sigh and whimper whenever she grazes against your clit or hole, the way you lift your head from her pillow and plead with your eyes for her to give you what you wanted. and her standing up to retrieve a pretty pink dildo from her drawer wasn’t what you expected, not that you didn’t want it. the black straps only surprise you more, and the sight of her tightening the straps and positioning the toy where she wanted it was making your wetness grow tenfold.

she rests the tip of it and taps it against your clit repeatedly, only making you sigh in between relief and want, your eyes sparkling and lashes fanning pretty to lure her into finally fucking you like she had promised. the look on both your faces as she slowly pushes in is priceless, you’re too overwhelmed to react and she’s too turned on, salivating at the way your lips swallow the pink toy slowly and fully. “next time, you come to me” she grunts, hand squishing your cheeks together while the other squeezes your side, her hips starting to slowly thrust in and out, pulling out entirely just to fill you to the brim with the plastick cock “no more sneaking out and worrying us sick just to find out some other girl has been fucking this pretty pussy, yeah?”

“mhm” your eyes are shut tight, your mouth wide open, you’re probably even drooling, her lips around your nipple suckling and her teeth digging into your skin in a delicious pain that has you gasping and pushing your chest further into her mouth, hands wrapping around her neck, and you whine when she inevitably pulls away

“good” she hums, tongue running over her lips as she fucks you...”gonna fuck you stupid baby” and her hips speed up, she’s intimidating in some way and it’s so fucking hot, the way she looks down on you, smirking because she knows she has you eating from her hand. she takes her time, speeding and slowing the thrusts of her hips, playing with your clit and sensitive nipples, teasing you when at the edge of your orgasm, edging you over and over again because she liked to see you suffer. “should i let you cum?”

“p-please.” your voice is so soft, so whiny, and she adores it, the fact that it’s all because of her.

“i dunno, it’s not like you earned it” her strokes are so slow, yet so hard. she tickles your g-spot with the tip of the toy every time, it feels good, but you want more

“i’ll make u-up for it. please just let m-me cum”

“you gonna go back to her??”

“n-no. never-r” your voice is broken, and you hope it expresses how much you need to cum right now. and if you were to take a guess by the way she’s speeding up, torturing your clit as well. it did. the sounds of skin slapping soon floods the room and the air reeks once again of sex and sweat. it’s hot, but you’re for some reason shaking, maybe it’s the approaching orgasm, and how it’s so much stronger because of her edging you, making you shake and whine, hands on her abs as if pushing her away to prevent her from keep fucking you through your orgasm.

she’s chuckling, kissing your temple and cheek, nose and lower until she reaches your lips, catching all your breathy moans and whimpers as you finally calmed down. ryujin pulls out carefully, finally pressing a cheeky kiss to your clit that makes your body jolt and stutter..

#ryujin !#ryujin smut #itzy smut #kpop smut #ryujin imagine #ryujin imagines #my stuff #gg smut #fem!reader

422 notes · View notes

minachuuu · 3 years

Text

EDEN - Ch.3 Part 3

🍎Loona x Twice x (G)-Idle x Itzy x DreamCatcher

🍎EDEN Masterlist

🍎Word Count: 9.4k

⚠ TW: mention of fire and light torture

Chapter 3: The Imperishable Crown, Part 3

It was only a second of silence before everyone swallowed the information. Holding myself from the bed columns I raised up, scanning over the panicked girls that stood before us. I tried my best to say anything, but no words were coming out of my mouth, so it was Yves who took control of the room first.

“We need to get her, if the teachers discover her outside… definitely nothing good is going to happen anyway,” Yves rushed to the door. “Who’s coming?”

“I am- AH!” I tried taking a step forward, but a muscle cramp on my thigh and a sharp headache attacked me at the same time, throwing me down to the floor.

“Eden!” Ryujin and Heejin rushed up to help me up, with the latter taking my head between her hands as her eyes looked for mine. “You haven’t healed completely and if you come any closer to the library again-”

“You heard them, she needs to speak to me, I gotta go!” I cried back to her, trying desperately to stand up against the force of her arms. She was strong enough and I was injured, not a fair fight if I said so. “Please let me go!”

“No! Eden, stop fighting! I don’t want you to get hurt!” I had never seen eyes as serious and worried as hers. With her voice raising above everything I had ever heard out of her. “You need to stay here!”

“But-”

“No, not this time.” Heejin caressed her fingers through my cheeks as her voice relaxed, my eyes unable to leave her glance as each stroke calmed down my breath. “You’re still hurt and you need to heal. We’ll just find her and bring her back, you won’t even notice we’re gone.”

I had no force left to keep fighting against her, my head and my leg proving to be so much for me to fight against.

“You won’t be alone, you’ll have Yoohyeon and Dami!” Yves continued. She turned around, addressing only them in an almost whispering tone, but not low enough for me to not hear it. “Please make sure Eden doesn’t try to escape from the dorm, alright?”

“Got it.” Dami answered, with a hint of disappointment over her voice.

“Apparently I won’t even be able to.” I scoffed.

“Hey, if you guys get bored…” Hyeju stepped forward to address me, as I raised my eyes to meet hers. “I got a deck of cards in my bag over there, maybe you can teach them how to play something?”

“Sure,” I muttered between my teeth, “Sounds… fun.”

“Or grab some sleep,” Heejin whispered as she took her hands off me, “You’ll feel better afterwards.”

She placed a quick kiss on my cheek as I sighed, running to catch up with the rest of the girls going out. They exited the room, with Hyejoo closing the door behind them, leaving Yoohyeon, Dami and I in an awkward silence.

The entrance of the dorm, the characteristic enormous door swung open and closed and my mind could only do so much but imagine them out there. Hoping that they return safe and sound.

“Huh, ‘See you after lunch, Yerim’, and she drew a heart too!” Yoohyeon’s voice took me out of my thoughts, only for me to turn my head to where she was talking. “I have a feeling I shouldn’t have seen that.”

She was rummaging through Hyeju’s bag, folding a piece of paper and placing it back inside it. It made a light chuckle escape from my lips as I carefully grabbed the bed columns again, this time slowly prompting myself up.

“Hey, stop right there!” Yoohyeon immediately turned around with her hands in front of her. “... You are not going to try to escape right?”

“Eh… no?” I answered, not really sure. I wasn’t really contemplating the thought before but looking at both of them told me it wouldn’t be really hard to do it anyways.

“Ah, great.” Yoohyeon turned back around to search in Hyeju’s bag. “Found it!”

She raised the deck of cards to her face, victorious. I watched from afar as I leaned all my weight over the column, barely noticing that Dami was already by my side.

“Need any help?” Her voice was actually very kind, as she offered a smile back to me.

“I just… Yeah, please.” I sighed, defeated, as I put my arm around Dami’s shoulders. With the passing of time my leg started to feel better, but my head kept hurting from time to time.

“Where to?” She asked as we balanced and Yoohyeon caught up to us.

“Downstairs,” It wasn’t until both of them furrowed their eyes and looked at me with a frown that I understood their worries. “I promise not to escape, I just want to be there when they come back. Please.”

They looked at each other for a second, just for Yoohyeon to shrug it off and put her arm around my free one.

We walked out quietly, through the empty and silent hall to the main lounge on the floor down, with thankfully no great pain holding me back on the way.

Once stepping out of the stairs, I could walk by myself towards the loveseat, not without Dami and Yoohyeon close to me, making sure I didn’t try to make a run for the door. I let myself fall into it, sulking in my place with my sight deadlocking into the table in front of me.

They both just shrugged and sat down, Yoohyeon on the floor, opposite to me and Dami on the chair beside me. Somehow the silence was creeping and heavy on our shoulders, but I couldn’t get Hyeju, Yves, Ryujin and Heejin out of my mind.

I just wanted to help, to go with them as we always did. Like before.

Like when we sneaked to dorm one through the window, till this day we annoy Yves with that day and the way she wasn’t used to anything. Or when we trained together in the library, an endless stream of laughter as I tried all different kinds of poses. And my favorite ones, nights that I miss endlessly, the ones where we escaped to the kitchen and cooked and baked all sorts of things, the cinnamon rolls, the giant plate of cookies, and that first night with the croissants... Those were simpler times, times where nothing else mattered but just being here.

Coming back from my memories, I didn’t notice when some cards had been placed in front of me, and as I looked up, Yoohyeon’s smile met mine. I grabbed them and looked through them carefully, even letting out a chuckle at the idea of Hyeju having one of these in her purse all the time, since these types of gambling games were allegedly prohibited.

“Why are you so mad at them anyways?” Yoohyeon put down her cards, her voice breaking my glance.

“I’m not mad at them…” I sighed, putting down my cards too. “I’m mad at myself.”

“Why?” Dami followed us, leaving her cards beside her and leaning closer to listen.

“The books we read about The Master, about me, talk about my might, my powers. They talk about how I know everything, and how I’m always there to answer. Or how I can move mountains, split the seas, heal the wounded and wake the dead.” My hand ghosted above my thigh, before closing in slowly in a fist raising to my chest. “And yet, here I am, held back by a leg that refuses to heal, a spell I should be able to fight back. I’m confused, afraid… As far as I’m concerned, I’m not even sure if I’m the Master anymore.”

“Now that’s a load of-”

“It doesn’t make any sense.” Dami cut Yoohyeon as she scoffed.

“You listen to me!” Yoohyeon jumped out of her place, launching towards me. She cupped my head with both her hands, raising it so my eyes could level hers. “I did not witness you disintegrating metal chains, bringing someone back into consciousness, crossing dimensions through a mirror and sacrificing yourself so someone else didn’t get hurt, so you can just sit here and lament yourself the one time you were obliged to rest!”

“Well, now that you put it like that-” I mumbled as I could with my squished cheeks.

“You are kind of awesome.” Dami continued, to which Yoohyeon turned my face with her own hands to face her. “Everyone thinks so. Except you”

“Because I failed!” I cried out, shaking Yoohyeon’s hand off my face. “I came down here to help someone, to answer a question of theirs. And I couldn’t and until this day I still don’t know the answer to…”

“Is this about the orange haired girl that just kept staring at us as if we were ghosts?” Dami completed it.

“I- Sana, yes.” I squinted my eyes while looking at them, taken aback. “How do you know?...”

“Ah yes, on one of our first days here we just caught her up staring at us from the door to our room and then took off. We asked Ryujin about her and she just said she was your ex-girlfriend and some of the story.” Yoohyeon explained while shrugging, relaxing back on her seat. “Then Jiu got another of her strange mind bending attacks where she hears and sees stuff and told us not to trust her. So… We don’t trust her.”

“Jiu knows?-” I started.

“She calls them ‘nightmares’. She says they keep invading her mind and doesn’t really know what causes them.” Dami whispered while her hands fidgeted with the deck of cards and her eyes evaded ours. “She has seen Sana, she has seen us in them. She even claims to know the Teachers, she keeps mentioning one in particular that I can’t remember right now, but we haven’t seen them since we arrived here.”

“What else has she seen in them?”

“We don’t know,” She answered. “She says they come so quickly, and she tries to fight them away. She has only told us a few of them, but they happen all the time. You can see in her eyes when it happens.”

A heavy silence fell on our shoulders as I fell backwards on my seat. I remember Yves telling us about the time before anyone else in the ‘Silly Squad’ arrived in The Promised Land. And how, by the time these girls were expelled, nothing but fear and uneasiness roamed the halls, the teachers and everyone, behind the mystery that became their banishment.

If I could give them some of the good times back, restore their memories and the friendships that broke on that night, I would. These so-called ‘nightmares’ could be an answer to what really got them expelled from the school. But why was she the only one that could remember anything?

“Speaking about Jiu,” Yoohyeon cut my thought train off while leaning forward again. “How do you think your friends will take care of her?”

“What do you m- Maybe they’ll ask her to come back? If it’s necessary, maybe even carry her, I don’t know!” I shook my head while answering back, very confused. “It’s four of them against Jiu, I don’t think they’ll have a problem.”

“But have they ever dealt with someone like… shooting lightballs at them?” She raised her tone, almost shy at the end of her question.

“They have dealt with me in the middle of a storm so- Wait Jiu is doing WHAT!?”

“That's the best way I can describe it! Her eyes did that thing when she has a ‘nightmare’ and then her hands started glowing and suddenly she shot a ball of light!” Yoohyeon murmured, anxious, a little startled at my voice raising. “Dami and I were pretty afraid, but Jiu looked pretty scared too. Then she tried to shake it off but shot another ball of light and that’s when she went all ‘I need to go’ and ran away-”

“How did she do that?!” My hands wrapped the armrest of the sofa so tightly that they started to shake.

“We didn’t have time to ask her!” Yoohyeon shook her hands in front of her, bringing them up to her temples. “She just ran through that door and… didn’t return!”

“I need to get to her!” I stood up urgently, my leg only tensing up at the sudden movement. “You need to help me get to her.”

“But we promised Yves we wouldn’t let you escape!” Yoohyeon stood up too, putting herself between me and the door.

“Would it really be an escape if I don’t fight anyone and we leave together?”

“Technically, no.” Dami pushed Yoohyeon’s shoulder playfully, “Besides, we have always wondered what it’s like out there, could be fun.”

“Of everyone I know, I never thought you would try to persuade me to do this.” Yoohyeon furrowed her eyebrows at the younger girl, crossing her arms. But her expression abruptly softened as she let her hands fall on the sides. “And you succeeded. So where should we go next boss?”

“Out the window.”

“What?!” Both Dami and Yoohyeon’s eyes opened wide as they looked back at me.

“The door might be locked by now because of the curfew,” I explained as I walked towards Ryujin and Heejin’s bedroom, “so the way out is through the window.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Yoohyeon questioned the whole ordeal while I tried organizing my thoughts.

“If you want my complete honesty? Maybe it isn’t.” I answered back with a chuckle. “But if last time someone asked me that I had stopped and thought about it, I don’t think you would be here.”

“Touche!” Yoohyeon said as both of them rushed to catch up to me.

I opened the door to the room carefully so as to not make any sound, letting them both in before entering myself and closing the door with the same stealth. Their room was silent, completely dark with one of the windows already open well in advance for them to return.

Roaming around through their room, I lay for a second against one of their walls, recharging my leg and my barely aching head. It occurred to me that as dark as the room was right now, some of the halls in the academy might be as well, and if we had to find someone lost, a little light could hurt nobody.

“Hey, help me find a lantern.” I asked them to help me out. “There must be one somewhere near-”

“Eh, Eden?” Dami muttered as she approached the open window, a strange blue glow lighting up her front. “I don’t think we’re going to need the lantern…”

Startled, I walked to her side, with the same unsourced light filling my sight the more I came close to the window.

“... Or go very far for that matter.”

As my eyes readjusted to the bright light outside, the back gardens of the Promised Land started appearing. It’s hedges and artistically cut bushes, all with various flower arrangements, all surround the two-tier fountain in the middle of it. And on it’s second platform, a girl kneeled down seemed to radiate the same kind of light that Yoohyeon described to be coming out of Jiu.

“Then this will be a piece of cake!” I carefully prompted myself up the window, hesitating my options down. “... Maybe I spoke a little too soon.”

Remembering the only other night I had to go out this same precise window, I knew I couldn’t just jump out of it like that. Instead, I decided to try more of Hyeju’s approach by not throwing my entire body down but hanging from the window until my feet touched the ground.

But my leg still wasn’t that steady, making me tumble into one of the hedges that surrounded the window. The plants actually made for a very padded fall, definitely preferred than falling down straight to the ground. I only heard a very shy chuckle from both the girls still inside the building.

“Are you okay?” Yoohyeon whispered as her head peaked out the window and down.

“Yeah…” I sighed, trying to prompt myself up and failing repeatedly. “I might need a little help with this though.”

Yoohyeon and Dami were quick to come down, way more gracefully than me, each pulling me up from one of my hands. I shook and cleaned the leaves and twigs out of my gown and headed towards the fountain, in a moderate pacing.

It was pretty curious how I had never really walked so far into the gardens themselves. I remember coming about halfway through the day the fox decided to visit me for the first time and causing a commotion in my entire dorm because of it. But I’ve never travelled up to the main centre, let’s not even start dreaming about walking to the part nearest to the forest.

We were close enough, when I accidentally stepped over a twig that snapped in half, and in the extreme silence of the night, everyone around heard it. Jiu jumped, startled. Enough to send a ball of light my way, which I barely avoided on time.

Hiding behind one of the few higher hedges, I observed how her panicked self turned frantically to all sides, her hands glowing in that bluei-ish light that illuminated the garden.

“Jiu!” I came out from behind the bush, with my hands leading the way. She turned around scared, accidentally shooting a ball of light in my direccion again. Managing to dodge it, I decided to say the rest of my speech from behind my hiding place. “It’s me, Eden! I just came to help!”

“How do I make it all stop!?” She cried. I peeked out, her hands were hidden below her armpits as her heavy breathing suffocated her tears. “What is happening to me Eden?!”

“I- I don’t know!” I mumbled as I tried again to get out of my hideout.

As I got closer, I realized how much her body was shaking, how her eyes were crystalized and unfocused. Dami was right, you knew when she was having those visions.

I climbed over the fountain wall, getting the lower part of my gown completely wet and walked against the water to the center platform. She looked over at me surprised that I did all that, and even sank more against her own body as I came any closer.

“Jiu, why are you here?” I stopped before climbing over the taller platform.

“The water usually helped me calm down. But now everytime I see my reflection it just makes them so much worse.” She mumbled, fighting against her breath and tears. “I thought no one could reach me here, I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“You won’t.” I took an impulse and prompted myself up the platform. Crawling to meet her at her level. “But listen to me-”

“Heejin said you would help me when the time came...” She shook her head, trying to focus on me as I cautiously moved closer.

“And I will.” I crouched to her level, finally close enough to reach and touch her. “I promise we’ll figure it out together.”

Her glance refused to trust, with her body turning away from me, her arms tightening the grip around herself. She looked down for a second, summoning a strain of barely audible, aching whispers coming out her mouth, begging for something to go away, to stop.

“Please, trust me.” Extending my hand to her, I waited, hoping my best.

Jiu let her arms fall to her sides hesitating as her shaking hand reached for mine. I let her rest it over mine, with blurry visions immediately invading my sight. I made the mistake of looking down at our reflections in the water too, they seemed corrupted, tinted in a blood-like red against the blue light of the moon above us.

“an apprentice has rebelled against the institutional norms, defying the internal law for a sufficient amount of occasions,-”

A voice, cut off and trembling overwhelmed my senses. All too familiar, but they were too quick to make a complete image of it. A gasp came out of her mouth and I felt her hand clenching mine harder.

“will suffer intense physical and mental suffering, that equivalent to the accumulation of every sin that led them to their own downbringing.”

Focusing on offering her my other hand in between these weird flashes storming me, I realized how both her arms and mine were glowing with the same blue tinted light of the spheres she was launching before. We both looked down and back at each other, startled.

“not even the highest power can undo it.”

“There she is!” A call in the distance cut the voice, making me turn around to its origins. I only could distinguish four silhouettes coming closer through the darkness, halting just when our light brightened their confused expressions. “Wait-”

“Eden?” Hyeju’s faint whisper as her eyebrows furrowed.

“What are you doing here?” Yves started walking towards us, her arm covering her eyes from the bright light emanating from us.

“I’m sorry-”

I looked back into our reflection, and it sucked me right into itself, with the sound of a heavy splash of water invading my ears. A flash of light blinded all around Jiu and I as our other hands found each other. There was no sign of Yves, Hyeju, Heejin, Ryujin, Yoohyeon or Dami around us, as the light dimmed and we could identify our surroundings.

The visions ceased to storm our sights, with the voice disappearing with them too. And as the light dissipated like smoke, my eyes hesitated, getting used to the sun shining through windows behind us, the sun rays laying spotlight over the room.

I glanced, wandering around the room, taking in each detail in the ornamented columns and the immaculate floors and ceiling. But the paintings in the walls, the one I remember like a collage of angelic figures that adorned the Great Hall the day I arrived in The Promised Land seemed incomplete, with just half of the walls filled with paintings I’ve never put much attention into.

“Where are we?” Jiu pulled her hands out of mine, and I noticed us crouching over a white round platform situated right in the middle of the room.

“It’s the Great Hall but-” I stood up, and offered my hand so she could do the same. I walked down the platform and on to the walls, scanning through them. Starting to recognize the faces in every painting as I pointed them out. “That’s you! And there’s Sana and Yoohyeon. Dami, Mina and Yves are over there…”

“It stops right here.” She looked at one painting specifically at the middle of the wall, its colors a little brighter and fresher than the others. “Gahyeon…”

“She’s the youngest here.” I sighed, looking back at her. “Have you seen this before?”

“Yes in some ‘nightmares’, but it’s awfully quiet right now, it’s usually followed by-” A distant rain of steps was approaching rapidly, too quick for us to try and hide ourselves anywhere. “That sound.”

Through the window, the muted laughter of Yoohyeon and Sua leading as Handong, Siyeon, and Dami closed behind, their pace not as quick as the excitement of the first two, bearing bright smiles as they dashed forward, unaware of us in the adjacent room.

“C’mon, don’t stay behind!” Jiu added, also muted, almost like a whisper close to my ears. I turned around, only to catch her paralized as her eyes refused to leave the window. “It won’t be long, we’ll be back to class on time!”

Another Jiu, one wearing the biggest smile on her lips, held her hand for Gahyeon who was sprinting to catch up with the rest. We both stared at them as they passed across the windows, towards the direction of the library.

“These aren’t nightmares.” I looked over at the paintings and outside. “Jiu, these are your memories.”

“No, it can’t be, that would mean-” She took a step back, her breathing accelerating, while her hand urgently found mine again. “We need to leave! We need to leave before-”

“Jiu! Stay with me, please. It’s just a memory, it won’t harm you anymore. Not when you’re with me.” I held on tighter to her hand, while my free one cupped one of her cheeks, making her lock her eyes over mine, my thumb rubbing as I tried calming her down. “If we know what happened to you and the rest of your friends, it could help me reverse all of it.”

“Re- Really?” She stuttered.

“I know, I know it’s not gonna be pretty.” I sighed, loosening my grip on her. “I won’t force you to go through this if you don’t want to-”

“I’ll do it-” She fought against some tears in her eyes, as now she was the one that refused to let my hand go. “I want to help.”

“Then… let’s do it.” I offered her a smile as secure as I could, taking both her hands in mine. “We’ll get through this together.”

She nodded, letting out a big sigh as she shook her head. Looking at the window from above my shoulder, her eyes longingly stared at the colors, the wind moving the leaves of the tree on the courtyard. Finally, she swallowed as she looked back at me, her lips parting as she looked for the right words.

“Alright…” She stammered. “Let’s go then.”

We headed towards the embellished door that guarded the Great Hall, and as I rested my hand over the knob, I turned to Jiu, just to make sure she was really on board with this. She nodded, interlacing her arms with mine, letting out a big sigh.

But before I could turn the knob, I captured something bright with the corner of my eye outside of the window beside us. I recognized the orange hair and the indigo bow adorning it, as her shining brown eyes walked by us. Sana’s eyebrows were furrowed as she looked over her shoulder at the girls that had passed before her in the other direction, but she tensed her shoulders, shook her head and accelerated her walk, to then disappear from my view.

I shook my head too and opened the door without hesitating, but a flash of light invaded the room through the opening, wrapping us. We lost all track of the girls running, all sounds of the academy leaving us behind as the light dimmed. What awaited on the other side of that wall was not the sun-filled courtyard, but a candlelit bedroom, filled to the brim with books and everyday objects.

We stepped inside as I scanned my surroundings. I recognized the silhouettes of seven girls hanging around in the room, and as it kept clearing more, it became perfectly apparent exactly where we were.

“It’s dorm one,” Turning around, my mind made out their beds, the messy books and decorations, until it came face to face with the mirror. The one Heejin, Yves and I crossed that led us to the other Promised Land. “It’s the room where we-”

“It’s my room.” She started walking towards the nightstands, the dresser and the desks, hovering her hand above the things she recognized. Over paintings and casual letters between friends, long gone and forgotten.

Choked on, her eyes once again fighting against tears, she tried to grab a single pencil drawing with the seven girls on it, only to pass through it like thin air. She was only left staring at her hand, filled with thoughts I preferred not asking for, but stood there not saying a word, letting her process everything on her own time.

And when we turned around, there she was, sitting on her bed with a book over her lap, calmly scrolling through its pages while bearing a soft and tender smile on her lips.

“Bah! This one is blank!” Sua’s voice from the other side of the room made me and both present Jiu and past Jiu turn to face her, “It looked so promising!”

She violently closed a big, thick, old and torn down book, one I recognized as the one where Yuqi found the map, and tossed it across the floor, where it slid under Jiu’s bed.

“Hey! Be careful!” Yoohyeon nagged as she crawled on top of the other bed, peeking at whatever book Dami had on her hands. “We need to return them in a perfect condition or they’ll notice someone took them away!”

“I never thought that the teachers had to learn their magic,” Handong browsed through the pages of yet another book, “I thought they were just… able to do it like that.”

“Can you imagine Mr. Azrael failing a paper on how to summon things to their hands?” Siyeon chuckled from her chair, a smile increasing on her face. “Mr. Azrael being all like ‘Michael, what did you put on question four?’ and Mx. Michael being like, ‘Bathing your hands under moonlight.’ and Azrael answering like ‘Dang it, I wrote jazzy hands.’”

The room burst in laughter at the almost perfectly imitated voices from the teachers, including me and even crackling a smile over present Jiu. For a moment, you wish one could freeze time right there and breathe forever that air of innocence and curiosity. That feeling that nothing bad could happen.

But I knew this didn’t end well, and I was determined to discover what tipped the scale for them to be thrown away from The Promised Land. But so far paradise had been really good at keeping all their secrets to itself.

“Do you think someone taught them to do all of this?” Gahyeon crawled towards Jiu, peeping at her book. Gahyeon was the one bearing the most thirst for knowledge, the mark of a new soul travelling back and forth through the room with every new discovery. “Like they teach us history, music, literature…”

“There’s no one here older than them.” Dami chimed in, surrounded by at least six different books. “Maybe if you count The Master, but they have never been much of a Teacher.”

I shrugged at the comment. It’s true, I am definitely no teacher, but there was something about the tone Dami said the words, bordering how Sana and Yves referred to The Master before knowing it was me. At least now I was sure that the sentiment towards my real form had far more history than we knew.

I tried looking closely at the covers of the books they had in their hands, so that when I went back to the Promised Land, at least the one in the present and not in someone else’s memories, I could search for them among the ones Yuqi ‘borrowed’.

If they contained the secrets and instructions to magic, they could be the key to once and for all get my powers back. I could finally fight back.

“Stars? I’ve never seen them do stars!” Yoohyeon pointed at Dami’s book with excitement, raising her voice and capturing my attention. “That sounds so cool!”

“Sounds pretty simple if you ask me” Dami answered, “It says you only need a happy memory.”

“Now I get why the teachers don’t make them,” Sua sneered. “They don’t even look like they have a soul. I don’t think they are capable of feeling anything.”

“Can we try?” Gahyeon turned to Jiu, leaping in excitement in her own place. “Can we please try to cast a spell, Jiu Unnie?”

“I really wish we could,” Siyeon sighed, smiling at the youngest in the room. “But the teachers say we are not able to do-”

“What’s the harm in trying anyway?” Past Jiu closed her book when she noticed a pout appearing in Gahyeon’s face. “There’s nothing to lose.”

She stood up and headed to the side of the room where everyone had gathered, with the youngest following close behind her. The rest of the girls looked at them puzzled, probably thinking it was a joke at first. But only a glare and a crossing of her arms was enough for the others to understand it wasn’t.

“What do I have to do then?” Jiu rested her hands over her hips, a smirk growing on her face.

“If it is your first time casting this spell, we must first learn to channel the energy to your hands.” Dami read the instructions with everyone closing in curiously. “Start by planting your feet firmly into the ground and extend your arms forward, do not tense up, keep a slight angle on your elbows, your palms should be close to each other, facing the sky.”

Jiu did as instructed, her confident expression faltering for a few seconds as all the eyes, including ours which no one was able to see, landed on her.

“You look a bit ridiculous Jiu!” Sua chuckled.

“SHh!” Yoohyeon frowned, not able to keep her eyes away from the book. “Let her continue!”

“Now choose wisely for one of your happiest memories,” Dami kept reading through the instructions, “Close your eyes and concentrate on it. Let it fill your mind, and then slowly redirect it to your heart. Do not forget to keep a steady breathing pattern.”

There you had us, nine people standing in a room, maybe arguably seven people and two time-made ghosts, all standing completely still and silent. Even those who were sure they couldn’t do magic looked at the scene in suspense, maybe with a spark of hope keeping them from moving their eyes away.

“Lastly, and you must not falter in doubt in this step. Let the warmth in your heart travel to your hands.” Dami whispered the instructions, almost afraid of breaking the tension in the room. “Take the time time you need to gather the courage inside you for this last step, as it may take some practice to direct the energy to your hands instead of it dissipating or-”

“WHAT THE-” Siyeon shouted as Jiu’s hands started glowing in a blue toned light. Past Jiu’s eyes opened abruptly, making her step back in confusion when she saw her hands. Everyone’s mouths dropped to the floor, their eyes widening in awe.

A small but powerfully bright ball started forming over her hands, and it looked warm and inviting, safe. Present Jiu and I looked down at her hands, her eyes unable to focus as she connected the dots in her mind.

“WHAT DOES IT SAY NEXT?” Sua had to take the book from Dami’s petrified hands to keep reading, as the rest, including us, kept trying to process everything. “You can try again if- yada yada yada- here! Once you manage to make your first star, it is only necessary to think of your chosen memory to summon the light back to your palms.”

It was just a second more of bewilderment before surprise started turning into joy. Dropped jaws grew their corners in excitement and little wrinkles appeared in everyone’s eyes as they looked at each other with newfound enlightenment.

“So we can do magic…” Yoohyeon mumbled at first as she stood up, but she raised her tone, almost shouting, barely keeping her enthusiasm a secret. “Not only the teachers but we can do magic too!”

All the girls rushed to Past Jiu’s side, grabbing their books back as they searched for easy spells to cast and to learn. We just looked at them from the side, completely amazed by whatever just happened before us.

“This… this changes everything.” I barely managed to mumble. “You, them… the girls back there. It all makes sense now-”

“That’s why the Great Hall was called the Spell Practice Hall in the map your friend found.” Jiu completed my thoughts. “I can’t believe I didn’t think about it before.”

She turned back to look at the girls, all now jumping up and down, eager to be the next one to try a spell. Some of the youngest started chasing the star across the room bringing endless giggles into the air.

“We lost it all, didn’t we?” I turned to face Present Jiu, a smile that fought against her tears as she couldn’t take her eyes away from the scene in front of us. Her hand started to shake, her voice trembling once again. “There’s one more memory that you should see.”

“What is it?” Only her eyes, widening in horror, were able to answer my question. I nodded, taking her hand firmly as she directed us to the door and shakily turned the knob. “Are you sure you can take it?”

“No,” She hesitated, shaking every time she inhaled, her free hand found mine before she could open the door. “But I want to do it.”

Once again the opening let a bright light inundate the entire room in white, swallowing all the girls in the room, their laughter and excited leaps across the room. With something heart wrenchingly telling me I wouldn’t see anything of it again.

This time, it was the crackling of fire, and the smell of smoke that flooded our senses before the white could dissipate only preceding the whimpers and groans of pain and anger of voices that by now were familiar to me.

Their seven silhouettes appeared before me as the light finally receded, with by my side petrified of the image before us. Cuffed in various fiery red chains against a wall made of mirrors in a room I didn’t recognize, Jiu, Sua, Siyeon, Handong, Yoohyeon, Dami and Gahyeon tried their best to fight against their restraints, only prompting more painful whining.

“It’s the last time I will ask nicely before resorting to… other methods.” Mr. Azrael’s voice coming from behind me sent a chill down my spine as he travelled through us as if we were mere air. “You trespassed into places that you should not have trespassed, you took things you should not have taken, valuable things indeed. So before I have to rip the answer out of your mouths, tell me. Where is The Master’s Creed?”

“We already told you we don’t know!” Sua cried, only a whimper able to come out of her mouth. “We don’t have it.”

“We don’t know what you’re talking about!” Gahyeon’s weeping broke something inside me, as I rushed to them. But my feet halted when I remembered I couldn’t do anything about it. I was just a ghost in a memory, one that kept Jiu shaking, silently tearing. “Please-”

“We gave you the chance to not add a strike for the sin of lying to the list,” It was now Mx. Michael's voice beside me that chimed into the conversation. They didn’t bother to stand or even look up from their desk. “...but here we are.”

They nodded towards Mr. Azrael, who, with just a twist of their hand had all the girls wailing in pain, their muscles contracting as their eyes tried keeping back tears hopelessly.

“Why do you think we did it?” Siyeon mumbled, her words stuttering as she tried to look into Mx. Sariel’s eyes, with a noticeable hint of anger in her voice.

“There are students in this institute that value honesty more than you do. We just investigated the concerns they voiced to us.” Mx. Sariel spat back at Siyeon. “Unfortunately, we found a longer list of faulty behaviours tracing back to you seven.”

“Such a shame, the amount of talent wasted, thrown down the drain.” Mr. Azrael complemented, walking towards Gahyeon, his hand gently stroking her cheek. “Little one, how did you allow yourself to be corrupted so soon. What a life you could have led in the Promised Land.”

Gahyeon lowered her head while tears fell down her cheek as her entire body kept twisting in pain. Mr. Azrael then moved to her side, where Jiu shivered as she tried fighting against the tears and agony, trying her best to be the toughest of them all.

“And you…” He hissed, not being as soft when he grabbed on to her chin. “Our first student. What a scandal. I hope you enjoyed your time here, it really is a shame you had to cut it down so disgraceful-”

“This is totally unnecessary!” The door slammed open to Mrs. Gabrielle growled, her gown flowing as she broke into the room. “Michael, stop this madness already!”

Mx. Michael slammed their quill over the desk, finally looking up. They raised their hand and Mr. Azrael sighed, throwing his hand to his side. That immediately stopped the suffering in the girls, who’s breath struggled to even after the continuous screaming.

“I believe I ordered you to wait outside Mrs. Gabrielle.” Mx. Michael stood up from their desk, facing the other teacher. How did Mrs. Gabrielle didn’t falter when being confronted with the towering Mx. Michael inches away from her, I’ll never know. “This is not of your concern.”

“But it is. They are telling the truth.” Mrs. Gabrielle fought back. “I already searched that entire room, and I did not find it. Not even a trace. They do not have it.”

“We must go back and search perfectly, every corner-”

“I already did,” Gabrielle was quick to cut Sariel up, looking at him over her shoulder. “I gathered the stuff of our interest and sealed the room shut so no one loots on their stuff until this gets resolved. As per orders of Michael.”

“You do not have to worry about that,” Mr. Azrael sneered straight at Mrs. Gabrielle’s face. “It will all be resolved tonight. And if Michael allows us, I would like to personally invite you to stay and witness.”

“What are you planning to do to them?” Mrs. Gabrielle's voice trembled as her eyes followed her brother.

“You talk about it as if we did not have the Institucional Decree.” He chuckled, taking into his hands a book from Mx. Michael’s desk. “We wrote these rules together. Do you not think we should reinforce them?”

“Are you going to expel them?” Mrs. Gabrielle turned to face Mx. Michael, who remained stone faced, their eyes unmoved from the girls chained to the wall.

“Oh! Of course not!” Mx. Sariel giggled, closing in on them. “They have done so much more than just five strikes, they know way too much! We have been thinking about something a little bit more… warm.”

“Exiliation by fire.” Azrael added. “In case you are slow to catch up on.”

“You brutes-” She snapped at them, “You know perfectly well only The Master can-”

“THE MASTER ISN’T HERE!” Mx. Michael lost their temper at the mention of my name, making everyone in the room jump, startled at their voice bouncing around the walls. Followed by a second of silence, they sighed, regaining their posture. “The Master is not here. And if you wish for them to be, you can join those on the wall.”

Mrs. Gabrielle diverted her eyes from theirs, swallowing in anxiety. She turned to the girls, sadness overtaking her gaze as she stepped back, away from her brothers.

“No,” She mumbled. “I will not be staying to watch this-”

“You will.” Mx. Michael extended their hand in the direction of the door, a clink indicating it had locked up, instantly being completely swallowed with purple thick smoke. “Out of all of us, you are the best at performing memory spells. You will erase their memories of today, of each other and from the Promised Land, so they cannot suffer from remembering what has been taken away from them.”

“How considerate of you.” Mrs. Gabrielle snapped back at them as she walked towards the girls.

Not taking her gloves off, she placed one hand over their head, the thumb on their forehead and the other above their chest, it was just a quick glow out of her hands and Yoohyeon fell unconscious in her place, only kept standing by the chains restraining them.

Mrs. Gabrielle refused to make eye contact as she tried containing her own tears at their screams and pleas, continuing down the line with Handong, Siyeon, Sua, Dami and Gahyeon. The latter finally getting the better of her as a tear managed to escape her eye and caressed her cheek on the way down.

“It was her.” I heard the mumbles of the present Jiu beside me clutching at her chest with her free hand, as she pointed back at Mrs. Gabrielle. “Look- look at her left hand.”

I noticed a golden shine on it’s palm before she placed it over Past Jiu’s chest, inhaling heavily before turning to face her. Both their eyes meeting in a silent conversation we’ll never hear.

“Take care of it.” Mrs. Gabrielle whispered, only audible to Jiu, but like a shout in my ear.

And there was a weakened glow that glitched out of her hands. Jiu closed her eyes, but didn’t fall into an unconscious state as violently as the others. She took her hands away from her and a shiny golden key fell from the one on her chest and was barely hiding between the ruffles of Jiu’s dress.

“Are you sure you-”

“She was one of our most talented and powerful students, her body resisted the spell better, and took some more time to affect her.” Mrs. Gabrielle cut Mx. Sariel once again, covering Jiu from their view as she approached them. “But it is all completed now.”

“She’s- She’s lying. I was able to listen to everything they said.” Jiu gently tugged at my hand, wiping away her tears. “I… I wanted to wake up but I couldn’t.”

“That’s why we’re still here.” I helped her clean up some of her tears, gently caressing her cheek to help her calm down. “But why would she-”

“Everything is set and ready Mx. Michael.” Mr. Azrael's voice made me and Jiu turn to him, as he eagerly stood in front of the others. “Just give the order.”

Stone faced, Mx. Michael breathed unsettlingly calm as they travelled back and forward through the room, examining each of the girls from head to toe as they did. Mrs. Gabrielle gulped as they arrived at Jiu, but they turned around at the last minute and, relieved, she released her breath discreetly.

Mx. Michael turned his back on the unconscious girls as they walked forward, their eyes refusing to depart from the floor in front of him. Nodding at Mr. Azrael, the latter grew a sinister grin as he stepped confidently in the opposite direction.

“Ignis hic mundabit te ab omni peccato in animam tuam.”

He opened both his palms and moved them violently away from his chest in an intricate dance, one that made white fire appear in the reflection behind the girls, almost as if the mirror has another dimension.

But something inside Jiu fired up too. Her body started shaking violently, as she lost control over her own breath, she quickly grabbed my arm, losing control of her balance. Even though her eyes were growing with each second, her pupils shrunk drastically at the sight of the fire.

“Jiu? Jiu?!” I tried shaking her to look back at me, but she remained unresponsive. “Jiu?! What’s happening to you?!”

Mr. Azrael's laugh was a sound I never thought I could listen to, since all I knew was that laughter was a sign of happiness, but his sounded nothing but perverse. I looked over my shoulders as the white flames kept growing and growing.

“Why- Why would they do this to us?” She whimpered, her voice was hoarse as she tried to speak against her breathing with nothing but more tears falling down her eyes. “Why?”

“I- I don’t know” I couldn’t contain tears of my own, I felt someone pinching my chest as I looked at her, looking over my shoulder as the flames that started to surround the girls. The words choked on the way up my throat. “I would- I would have helped you if I-”

Jiu slammed her arms around me, embracing me in a hug as she hid her face on the crook of my neck. My arms surrounded her too, just leaning my head on her shoulder as my hands clutched her gown.

Right in front of my eyes the fire totally swallowed the girls, and even though they looked unconscious, it was almost as if they all were screaming in anguish right into my ear. I wanted it to stop, with words trying their best to get out of my mouth, but kept being choked on my throat.

“I’m- I’m sorry”

Both our knees gave out, as we held each other for dear. I caressed her head but all my attempts to calm her down were worthless, as we waited, hoping for this entire thing to be over soon.

“Azrael stop!” Mrs. Gabrielle's voice made me snap my head up. The fire had turned a bright dark red. Not even a warm one, but a blood-like colour. And with a flash, the girls were nowhere to be seen in between the flames but I spotted my own reflection looking back at me through the mirror.

“GABRIELLE!”

Azrael’s raging scream echoed in the room and my brain as the last thing I heard before being sucked to our reflection, surrounded by a blinding white light once again. I heard a splash of water when I opened back my eyes, with darkness taking over as the light subsided.

“They’re back!” Ryujin’s voice let me finally breathe, almost like letting open a faucet in my eyes against the sound of various feet closing in on us.

Jiu clutched her arms around me, also bawling her eyes out. Trying to hold her closer, with my entire shoulder already soaked from her tears already, I wanted to calm her fears, shut the screams that still lingered in our minds. But I couldn’t.

I heard all of them coming closer, some jumping the fountain walls towards us. Their steps fighting against the water. My head raised to watch Ryujin climbing up to us, and a gentle hand posing itself on my shoulder.

Jumping, I turned to find Yves crouching to us, with visible concern in her eyes. I stuttered, trying to let words, any word out of my mouth.

"It was them..." Hoarsely, something managed to come out of my throat, and the other girls closing in as they tried listening "They did this to them."

"Who?" Yoohyeon closed up on us, confused at the entire affair before her. "What are you talking about?"

At the sound of her voice, Jiu’s head shot up in a gasp. She sprinted down, almost gliding over the water and jumping over the fountain wall, smashing her arms around both Dami and Yoohyeon.

It was a second of confused looks on their faces, before they slowly succumbed to the warmth of the oldest embrace. They buried their faces on her shoulders, breathing deeply as they just allowed her to let all her tears out.

Ryujin’s hand grabbed my arm and between her and Yves, they prompted me up. We went down the platform and into the water, but my feet just stopped, my entire body rattled by a new sensation up on my chest.

Like a flame in my chest, but not a warm or welcome one. Not one I felt when somebody hugged me. It burnt, and it made my hands clench and my arms shake. I didn’t like it, but it didn’t seem to leave.

“Eden?” Heejin’s voice brought me back to the present, I shook my head, slowly walking again towards land .

“Don’t worry.” I carefully and gently jumped the fountain edge and back to land, slightly wincing at the action. “I’m okay.”

Heejin was quick to delicately embrace me in her arms. A sight that sounded like a relief outburst escaped her mouth doing so.

“No, You’re not.” She whispered, breaking the embrace and taking a step back. “I know you, what’s bothering you?”

“After disobeying our curfew orders!” Ryujin chimed in, imitating one of the Teachers voices when they reminded us of our rules, getting a slight chuckle out of us. “You better have something good...”

In my mind, quick flashes of everything I witnessed didn’t let me decide where to start. There was just so much for them to know for me to process.

“It was the Teachers.” Those were the first words that something inside me decided to utter to them. “The teachers took everything from them… And then they blamed me.”

The flame in my chest flared up at the memory of their faces. Of Mr. Azrael’s sinister laugh booming through the room, Mx. Sariel’s ominous smile plastered all over their face, and Mx. Michael’s stone cold face, not even daring to look back at the fire behind him.

“I can’t let them hurt anyone.” My teeth gritted, letting out a big breath. My eyes diverted for a moment at the still ongoing hug in the back with Jiu, Yoohyeon and Dami, the latter two finally succeeding at calming down her tears. “Not again.”

There was a second of silence, with the four of them looking at each other, only for Ryujin to crack up a smile as she turned towards me.

“Well-” Ryujin cleared her throat, fixing her sleeves as she put her hand firmly over my shoulder. “Count me on whatever you have in mind.”

“Anything that includes screwing them over,” Hyejoo closed in, shrugging. “You know I’m definitely in.”

“Then let’s do this.” Heejin grabbed my hand tightly in hers, shaking them lightly. “We’ll save this place together.”

“Only if you promise not to disobey when we tell you to rest.” Yves chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest.

An almost intense stare-up started when she raised her eyebrow at me and only with her view signaled how noticeable it was that I was standing on my healthy leg and not the one with the bruise. I sighed, slumping my back and turning my eyes blank.

“I’ll try,” I sneered back at her, only earning her to mess up my hair playfully. “But I can’t promise anything really.”

Out of nowhere, Yves’ arms were around my neck in a tight hug, with the other three joining soon. Disarming my tense muscles, and completely turning off that violent flame in my chest.

“I’m sorry for not listening to you-”

“Hey,” Hyeju interrupted, “We’re just glad you’re here.”

I let myself finally melt into their arms, welcoming back a missing warmth into my chest, the caring and tender type of flame.

“Eden?.” Jiu’s voice called me, now much more controlled but still wavering thanks to all the crying. The other girls let me go as I looked over at her, staring down at something in the palm of her hand. “I think you’re going to need this.”

She walked towards me and I approached. Her closed fist travelled in front of her, to which I extended mine. She opened her hand and let the decorated golden key and it’s chain fall into my hand.

“Maybe it’s a wild guess, there must be a reason I was tasked to protect it. And who could be better to protect it than The Master themselves.”

“Thank you.” I couldn’t resist myself, gently hugging her as she now gladly welcomed the gesture. “I won’t let you down.”

Backing up, she let her hand gently brush against my cheek as she nodded, with a sweet smile on her lips. Looking at the key, marveling at its intricate design carved into the metal of the bitting, with some colorful gems embedded into its bow. I put the chain around my neck, clutching the key against my chest.

“So-” Heejin cleaned her throat, being followed by the rest of the girls gathering around us. “Anything else we might need for this?”

“All hands on board. We need to get Yerim, Yuqi and Mina, also make sure that Sua, Siyeon, Handong and Gahyeon are in on this. I want everyone together for tomorrow morning, cause…” I sighed, not really sure how to deliver the news to them. “I might need some of you to make a little… Erhm, magic.”

Everyone’s eyes widened at my words, except Jiu’s who just giggled at everyone's reaction.

"O- Okay” Yves' voice trembled, still taking in the shock. “So... what's the plan? Exactly?"

"We'll let the Teachers know they're back" I looked up at Jiu, Dami and Yoohyeon, feeling a smirk building up in my lips. "And this time, they got The Master on their side."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Next: The Imperishable Crown, Part 4 ▶

◀ Last: The Imperishable Crown, Part 2

#AshWritesEDEN #tw fire #tw flashing #loona imagines #dreamcatcher imagines #itzy imagines #twice imagines #gidle imagines #loona scenarios #dreamcatcher scenarios #itzy scenarios #twice scenarios #gidle scenarios

28 notes · View notes

ficcrimes · 3 years

Text

junctures

Fandom: Helluva Boss Characters: Blitzo, Stolas; mentions of Stella, Octavia, Moxxie, Millie and Loona Ship: Stolas/Blitzo A/N: this is my piece for the Stolitz zine, Seasons, over on twitter! My bit’s finally been released, so I can publish this here now! Summary: To everything, there is a season.

——————————————————————————

i. summer

It was supposed to be a one night stand, and nothing more than that.

When presented with the opportunity to get his hands on that one particular grimoire, Blitzo didn’t think twice about worming his way into the Geotian Prince’s bed. What was one hot night with an ancient, entitled demon? Of course, he hadn’t stopped to question just why it had all happened the way it had, either. Whatever made Stolas not only agree to but pursue this whole lewd affair was really none of Blitzo’s business. Maybe he had a thing for imps, or some sort of weird, classist fetish. It really didn’t matter. At a glance, and that was all Blitzo had allowed himself to take when it all started, it seemed simple enough.

But it didn’t quite turn out that way, did it?

What started as something that had been meant to be short and sweet and fleeting turned into much more than Blitzo had bargained for. It’s nothing he can’t handle, of course, but Stolas calls on him frequently and comes on incredibly strong. It’s a little jarring, to say the least, but Blitzo can’t bring himself to outright turn the advances away.

He needs the book, after all. And, all things considered, this isn’t the worst possible thing he could have been doing to keep it. This is what he tells himself, anyway.

It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that, for all the fuss he puts up whenever Stolas calls, at least Stolas makes him feel… something. Wanted. Needed. Even if it’s only physically. Even if it’s only temporary.

But then Stolas makes the once-a-month arrangement with him, and an already hazy situation becomes a little hotter and a little heavier. Their meetings are no longer quick and to the point. Suddenly Stolas wants to have fun with it; he incorporates games and costumes and silly little things into the affair that Blitzo’s not above or below doing. He’s a performer, after all - and at least Stolas seems to be enjoying the act.

He spends the night and wakes up in Stolas’ bed more times than he’d like to admit. Most of the time, he’ll leave before Stolas wakes up. But there are some days when he wakes up to Stolas propped up and leaning over him, all four of his red eyes heavy-lidded and bleary with something Blitzo pretends isn’t there.

He also pretends the rush of heat that surges up his spine isn’t there, and that it doesn’t count for anything.

As sleazy as it all is, it’s a good business deal and he wants to milk it for all it’s worth while it lasts - because he’s sure that it won’t. Nothing that burns this hot for too long is meant to last.

ii. fall

There is something so incredibly and unconventionally charming about the little imp.

It’s not every day someone like Stolas came across someone like Blitzo, and he’d been intrigued almost immediately by him. He was crass and rude and didn’t seem to think twice before speaking whatever happened to be on his mind in the moment, and Stolas found himself liking that more than he should have.

So, when Blitzo made his interest in the grimoire known, and it was evident all he had to offer in exchange for it was his own body, Stolas didn’t put up much of a fight or fuss. He knew he shouldn’t have been traipsing about behind Stella’s back and closed doors, but the supposed-one-night-stand promised to be the most exciting thing he’d experienced in a long, long while.

That first night with Blitzo had been unlike anything Stolas had ever had before, with his wife or otherwise. The sheer amount of skill the little creature had was surprising, and the way Stolas’ body had ached for him after he’d gone spoke in volumes.

Maybe it’s not in his best interest, or even in good taste, to start calling on Blitzo whenever he feels himself craving what only the imp can give him. And maybe he should learn how to properly manage and articulate the desperate desires he feels, instead of going off on long, unfiltered, filthy rants.

But Blitzo never explicitly tells him to stop, and so he doesn’t.

There’s a part of Stolas that understands Blitzo seems to merely put up with these antics so he can continue to use the book, and that’s alright. For a while, anyway. The more Stolas finds himself thinking about that, the more he can feel something creeping up on him, slow and steady. The ache he feels for Blitzo starts to change, and it’s not just his body that needs him.

He doesn’t really notice at first, continues to mistake the desperate need for the imp’s attention as something carnal and older than even himself. How silly to think his entire foundation could be shaken after so, so long, and by such a small and silly creature. And yet, eventually he catches himself drawing silly little caricatures on important papers of the two of them. Or he finds himself staring longingly at his phone when he can’t seem to get a hold of Blitzo.

By the time he’s suggesting they make their meetings a little more frequent and planned, Stolas realizes he’s in over his head. Or, perhaps he’s just head over heels. There’s really no difference here.

The whole situation is a little messier and more complicated than he would have liked it to be, but Stolas tells himself it will be worth it in the end. Until then, though, even if it’s only once a month, he feels like his walls can come down and he can be himself while Blitzo shares his bed.

He doesn’t mind when he wakes up to find the imp’s already left him. He understands. But it’s when he wakes up to find Blitzo still in bed beside him that makes his heart swell with something unspeakable.

He thinks, if things were just a little different, he could have this feeling always.

But Blitzo always leaves, and Stolas is always left with the weight of this feeling that’s too big for either of them.

iii. winter

Blitzo is right in thinking that things couldn’t stay so simple forever.

An already complicated situation gets that much worse when things like feelings and wives and daughters get caught up in the mix.

When Stolas calls him up out of the blue one day and says, very quietly, very seriously, that they “need to talk,” Blitzo almost wishes it had been one of his usual calls. Something cold and dreadful shoots up his spine by the time the call ends, and he’s already preparing himself for the worst. His mind is already racing, torn between coming up with some other lucrative back up plan and trying to persuade Stolas not to do this.

However he chooses to define ‘this’ in the moment, he doesn’t spend too much time thinking about it.

Stolas is quiet as Blitzo lets himself into his office space, book tucked under one arm. There’s no coy smile tugging at his beak.

Blitzo knows, and so he drops the book onto the desk that separates them. “I figured it’d only be a matter of time before you called this shit off,” he says through a sneer.

Stolas winces, and draws the book just a little closer to himself, fingering the crescent moon. He can’t bring himself to make eye contact.

“It’s not - You wouldn’t understand,” he sighs quietly.

“Oh, you’d think so, huh?” Blitzo replies, because he understands more than Stolas thinks. Stolas doesn’t know anything he doesn’t want him to know - and maybe this is happening because of that. Maybe if he’d been just a little less guarded and a little more obvious, things could have been different.

However… None of that would have changed the fact Stolas was a Prince, with a wife and child. And Blitzo understands that, too.

“No, no. I get it,” Blitzo starts, and waves Stolas off with one hand. “You got your weird royal bird shit to do, and fucking an imp on the side’s getting in the way.”

Stolas wants to say something else, Blitzo can see it in his eyes when all four finally meet his, but what actually comes out of his mouth is a quiet, “...that’s one way of putting it, I suppose.”

“Yeah, yeah. Quit looking like some sort of kicked hellpup. It’s not like you’re losing anything by taking the book back.” Blitzo almost regrets those words the moment they leave his mouth, but decides maybe they’re for the best. If Stolas is angry instead of just sad, it will make this easier.

But Stolas doesn’t get angry; he just looks all the more hurt. He sighs and steels himself. “I’ll see what I can do about loaning you my grimoire in the future, Blitz,” he says, “but for now, I can’t allow it.”

Hearing Stolas call him by his name instead of ‘Blitzy’ is what turns that cold trickle into a flash flood of ice. Something cold and hollow fills him, and Blitzo wishes it didn’t sting the way that it does, wishes he could feel anger instead of this.

“Sure thing, Your Highness,” Blitzo mumbles back, flipping Stolas off with one shaking hand. “If that’s all you got me penned in for today, I’ll see myself the fuck out. Thanks.”

Blitzo slams the office door on his way out, and Stolas can hear Stella screaming after him as he leaves. It’s only a small relief to hear Octavia chime in, telling her mother to leave him alone.

“At least he’s leaving,” Stolas hears her say, and he wishes she were just that little bit older so she’d understand this situation better. He had ever slept with Blitzo because he didn’t love her, but because he’d long since fallen out of love with her mother - but a royal marriage was not so easily left behind.

He sinks back in his seat and sighs heavily, pinching the bridge between his eyes. His heart no longer feels airy and light; instead it feels heavy, like it’s sinking into the pit of himself and weighing him down.

iv. spring

It’s weeks later and well into a work day when Blitzo emerges from his office. The first thing he notices is that his employees all seem to have disappeared, though he doesn’t have much time to wonder about that. His foot catches on something, and he stumbles forward, barely catching himself on a nearby desk. He twists around to look at the offending object that he knows should not be there, and sees that it’s a package of some sort. Brown paper-wrapped and addressed to him, and distinctly book-shaped.

He groans inwardly and hefts it up, the weight familiar, and the scent clinging to the wrapping even more so. Not that the break had been clean, but of course Stolas would have to go and try and make things complicated.

He doesn’t know if Stolas dropped it off personally or had it specially delivered, but he understands why the others left when it got there. Had he been in their shoes, he probably wouldn’t have wanted to risk it, either.

There’s no call or warning before he shows up at Stolas’ mansion, book in tow. He doesn’t use the front door, because he knows other, quicker ways to get to Stolas personally. And, surprisingly, none of those ways have been deterred or altered. It’s almost like Stolas had hoped he wouldn’t actually stay away.

It doesn’t take him very long at all to find Stolas, in his bedroom and lounging about as though he hadn’t just tried to lay some sort of intricate trap. It says something that the Prince’s surprise is entirely feigned, and there’s a grin tugging at his beak as Blitzo kicks the bedroom door shut.

“Ooh, what a surprise~” he coos, and Blitzo rolls his eyes.

“Cut the crap,” Blitzo mutters, dropping the book heavily onto the bed.

Stolas smiles and shrugs his shoulders. The robe he’s wearing slips from one lithe shoulder, and he doesn’t bother to adjust it. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. That,” he gestures to the book, “is just a gift. Circumstance aside, I’d hate to see your business fail.”

Blitzo snorts and grins in a way that shows his teeth. “Don’t you worry about I.M.P. We’re doing just fine without your borrowed little magic tricks.”

For just a moment, Stolas seems to falter, frustrated - not with Blitzo, but the situation itself.

“You really couldn’t think of any other way to get my attention, besides throwing me your scraps?” Blitzo presses on, crossing his arms over his chest, one brow raised.

“I didn’t think you’d return a call, or want to see me,” Stolas admits, and makes a vague gesture to the mansion. “And inviting you back here seemed… uncouth, at the very least.”

“Never stopped you before, did it?” But now Blitzo’s grin seems a little less antagonistic, a little more playful.

Stolas lets out an airy, half-laugh. “You’re not wrong.” He finally adjusts the shoulder of his robe, and rubs a hand against the back of his neck. “I’ve just spent a lot of time thinking about… Well, us. And I was thinking that, maybe we could… I mean, to start, we never should have - but…”

He sighs, and offers Blitzo a weak smile.

“I’ve missed you, Blitzy.”

It’s short and sweet and simple - just like this whole mess should have been from the start. But it’s not, and it never will be, because those three words and that sickeningly sweet rendition of his name coming out of that horrid bird’s mouth send that familiar warm rush right through Blitzo’s entire body.

“I see what you’re doing,” Blitzo says quickly, narrowing his eyes.

Stolas chuckles, shrugging. “I’d like to try again. Only no strings attached this time.” To make his point, he raises one hand and urges the grimoire over to himself, letting it hover between the two of them. “You’d be free to use this whenever you like, and though I would greatly appreciate your… company, there’s no need for a strict schedule.”

Blitzo eyes the book for a moment, and then shoves the magically aloft object aside. “And what about your ball and chain? You sure you wanna put up with her conniption fits?”

“You let me worry about Stella,” Stolas waves the thought aside. “A very serious discussion is long overdue, anyway.”

“And your kid?”

“Via will be okay. She’s young, but getting old enough to understand, I think.”

Blitzo looks the owl demon up and down, then shrugs a little himself. “Not the freshest start of the ages, but I’ll take it.”

Stolas smiles and breathes a sigh of obvious relief. “I’m glad,” he says quietly and moves closer. He lets one hand wander admiringly over one of Blitzo’s horns - and, for the imp’s sake, pretends he doesn’t notice the way he leans in to the touch.

“I have to wonder, though,” Stolas says after a moment, before the quiet becomes too much too soon, idly stroking the inner curvature of the horn, “how did you manage to keep I.M.P afloat without my grimoire?”

Blitzo leans away from the taller demon, and he grins again, wide and sharp. “I copied the spells out of it ages ago,” he admits, shrugging one shoulder. “Just in case this whole shebang went down the shitter.”

Stolas stares at him, a grin of his own tugging at his beak. “Oh, you clever little thing,” he muses, reaching out and taking Blitzo’s face into his hands. One thumb moves gently over where white meets red.

Blitzo has a nasty habit of speaking before he thinks, and Stolas has to wonder if he realizes what he’s admitted to. If he’d had the pages copied this whole time, either he’s a very dedicated actor and didn’t want to tip Stolas off - or, perhaps, it was all just a very convoluted excuse to keep coming back.

A blush starts to bruise the bridge of Blitzo’s nose. Stolas smiles.

“And here I thought you’d needed the book,” he says. “How silly of me.”

#helluva boss #stolas #blitzo #stolitz #fanfic

43 notes · View notes

heeberry · 4 years

Text

Words of Comfort

(Loona) Jeon Heejin x Gender Neutral! Reader

Summary: Heejin caught you crying when she came home from practice, so she tried her best in comforting you.

A/N: I think I got too carried away with this? I’m not sure. Also not very proofread, sorry </3

You laid on your bed, head in a pillow as you let out hot tears. You let out sniffles and whimpers. Everything seemed to overwhelm you, everything was just too stressful.

Every emotion hit you in every aspect at the speed of light that you couldn’t describe how you were feeling, it only made you frustrated.

You didn’t know how the sudden out burst happened, it’s like something just told you to cry.

It felt as if a whole boulder was being lifted off your shoulder.

You painfully cried, wanting to scream your lungs out.

Why didn’t you tell anyone about how you’ve been feeling these past days?

You couldn’t help but to feel as if you’d be a burden to someone, like it’d be bothersome.

All those thoughts and cries distracted you, you didnt seem to notice someone enter your apartment.

“Y/n?” You heard a deep voice call you, making you hold your breath. The bedroom door opened, revealing a concerned girl at the door.

She didn’t say anything, instead she laid next to you. Reaching to pull the blankets over the both of you.

“Heejin?” You quietly spoke, tears begging to fall out once again.

Heejin shushed you, pulling you close to her. She caressed your hair in a gentle matter, hearing you now let out quiet sniffles.

You tugged onto her shirt, tears spilling out of your eyes. It all felt too good, all the weight kept decreasing making you feel lighter.

Dried tears eventually stained your cheek, and your eye lids getting heavier. You found yourself now entering dreamland.

Heejin stared at you, moving the hair that stuck on your face out of the way. She felt tears beginning to pile up making her vision blurry.

She had never seen you be this way, despite how sensitive you were she swore you had never had a out burst like this.

Heejin knew something was up yet she didn’t want to interrogate you. Letting you first calm down.

She dared not to move, as you had your head against her chest and her arms around you.

Moments pasted, hours later actually.

Heejin scrolled through her phone, still holding you tightly. Your eyes slowly opened, looking up at Heejin.

She put her phone down when she saw you awake and moving around in her arms, “are you feeling better?” She asked.

You bit your lip, forgetting that Heejin had caught you crying. “I’m okay” smiling, small.

“Mind telling me what happened?” She asked once again, caressing your hair again. “If you don’t wanna talk about it that’s completely fine” she smiled “I’ll understand”

You felt yourself smiling at Heejin’s words, you shook your head “I’ll tell you, but it’s gonna be confusing”

She laughed “trust me I’m sure it won’t be”

You sighed, “I’ve been stressed, and overwhelmed about everything. I’ve been a total mess. I don’t have much motivation to do anything as much as I try forcing myself. I don’t why I feel this way, I’ve been doubting myself so much lately as well” You began telling her in detail everything that was on your mind.

Heejin listened to you carefully, making sure not to miss a thing that came out of your mouth. She locked eye contact with you the whole time, letting you know that she was paying attention.

Once you finished you felt your vision growing blurry, you tried blinking your tears away but Heejin stopped you. “Don’t hold it y/n, let it out”

Heejin wiped some of the tears that rolled down your cheeks. “Y/n don’t worry too much okay? Feeling this way is completely normal, your feelings are hundred percent valid, trust me. Lacking in motivation is fine, you’ll end up finding it back”

“Being stressed, overwhelmed, and a mess is okay as well. You can always take a break, come back to whatever you were doing later. Always take breaks whenever you need it. You need to rest and take perfect care of yourself”

“Everything is going to be okay, don’t be too hard on yourself.”

“Everybody goes through hard times, and those hard times will eventually pass. Sure it’ll take time but it will happen, just be patient. That thunder storm on the top of your head will turn into rainbows and sunshine’s one day” she smiled.

“Please take care of yourself when I’m away y/n, I know how hard things can get but that doesn’t mean you give up on everything you value right?”

Heejin gave you a quick peck, “don’t cry, you did well. I’m proud of everything you’ve done, from the littlest things to the big ones. You deserve nothing but happiness.” She gave you another peck, “do you wanna know something?”

You nodded letting out a sniffle.

“You’re vaild. You’re amazing and unique, everything about you is beautiful, really. It’s okay to have a not so good day alright?” Heejin reasurred, “I love you, I love so much” she frowned “you’ll always be loved, and you’ll always matter”

“Don’t stress too much okay? Remember to take breaks and to take care of yourself. Make sure you eat and drink water. Don’t overwhelm yourself with anything, take things slow, don’t just do everything in one go”

“And lastly, you will never be a burden to anyone. Especially me”

#loona imagines #loona #loona scenarios #heejin #loonawork #loona heejin #heejin imagines #heejin scenarios #loona 1/3 #loona yyxy #loona odd eye circle #loona drabble #loona fanfic #jeon heejin #kpop gg #kpop imagines

96 notes · View notes

luvidzy · 4 years

Text

☆ genre: fluff

☆ pairing: park jihyo x reader

☆ summary: your friends convince you to go to karaoke, where you meet the most gorgeous girl ever, who has the voice of an angel

☆ word count: 2.1k

☆ listen to: chaotic by odd eye circle (loona)

You hadn’t started the night off exactly excited. In fact the only reason you had agreed to go to the bar was because your best friend, Momo, was getting over a break up and had asked if you guys would go to the bar with her. You had originally planned to spend the night with a glass of wine and some cheesy 80s movies, but Momo needed you so you put on the most comfortable going out outfit you could find and headed out.

Maybe things wouldn’t have been so bad if Momo hadn’t insisted on coming to a public karaoke bar. You knew Momo liked to sing when drunk, as did Mina, but the fact that you had to suffer through countless people who couldn’t sing wasn’t your ideal night, especially since it was a crowded Friday evening and the atmosphere was getting stuffier by the second.

Sana gave you a pitying smile as you winced. The guy who was currently singing was not good, and it was only made worse by the fact he was trying to sing Justin Timberlake. Of course you assumed he was also drunk, but to be fair you were on your way to being drunk as well.

“He’ll be over soon,” Sana tried to justify, but you were too busy fighting off the impending headache to care. You took another swing of your drink, hoping that eventually you’d become so buzzed that the loud and obnoxious singing wouldn’t matter. Mina noticed your more than obvious uncomfortableness, and slid over another shot. You sent her a thankful glance, before throwing it back down your throat, the burn of whatever had been in the glass distracting you briefly.

You thanked whatever god was out there as the guy finished singing, the rest of the bar giving him scattered applause and his group of friends screaming loudly and laughing. You shook your head, turning to talk to Momo and Mina as they prepared the stage for the next person.

“Are you gonna sing tonight, Y/N?” Momo asked, staring at you with sparkling eyes and a relaxed smile. You chuckled to yourself, knowing Momo was obviously already pretty tipsy, before shaking your head and leaning against the countertop a bit.

“Probably not. I’m not any better at singing than that guy was, and I don’t want to be the cause of anyone’s headache,” you joked, causing Momo to roll her eyes playfully and Mina to chuckle lightly. Sana gave you a light push with her arm, smiling at you.

“Yeah, but maybe your horrible singing will entice someone.” The look you gave her must have been one of absolute incredulousness, because Sana burst out into laughter, shaking her head. You were so caught up in your conversation that you hadn’t noticed the music begin playing, nor did you notice the girl that now stood on the stage holding the microphone. It wasn’t until the first note came out of her mouth that you snapped your head in her direction.

Her voice was the most beautiful thing you had ever heard in your life. She had such power in her voice, but at the same time it was so clear and soft. The song of choice, Chaotic by Odd Eye Circle, was a sort of calming, yet eerie tune. The bass line thumped as the mystery lady sang the words, her voice soft and smooth with each word.

It didn’t help you that the owner of the voice was just as, if not more, beautiful than the voice itself. Her face was the first thing that you noticed. Her face was round, with a soft jawline that highlighted her beautiful cheeks. She had beautiful round eyes, with long curly lashes that fluttered when she blinked. The lights that illuminated the stage did nothing but highlight her eyes, making them sparkle as she looked out in the crowd. Her hair was a burgundy red, and fell like waves in front of her shoulders.

But the biggest thing you noticed was her expressions. One moment she’d be smiling, her pink lips turned up at the corners with the most adorable expression, but the minute the chorus hit, her smile dropped and her eyes became glazed. All of a sudden she was a siren, and the room were sailors, her voice luring all of them closer and closer to the water’s edge, where they would drown in her beauty.

You felt yourself lean forward in your seat, completely captivated by the woman in front of you. You could feel Sana, Mina, and Momo watching you with smirks, but you were too enamored to care. Something about her made your heart beat faster, and butterflies erupt in your stomach.

As the next verse began, she started walking along the stage like it was her home, like she had walked the length of the wooden platform multiple times. She worked the crowd, making eye contact with numerous people and sending winks and waves to whoever was watching her.

Then she looked at the back of the bar.

Your heart froze and for some reason you forgot how to take a breath, all the air trapped in your lungs as you looked directly into the brown pools that belonged to her. And while she didn’t falter in her singing, the sparkle in her eyes and the way she stared at you without blinking gave you hope that maybe she was feeling the same way.

As she launched into the next chorus, her eyes stayed on you. They flickered to the crowd as she walked, but they always landed right back to you. You couldn’t look away, though your pounded heart and your heated face screamed at you to stop. But her eyes were like a drug, and you had become addicted from the first glance.

The song was over too soon. Her voice echoed off the walls, the last note hanging in the air. The bar was almost silent for a moment, everyone caught up in her song. The loud chatter that had been there for most of the night had died down into a hushed whisper. And soon the whole bar was clapping, screaming, yelling for the woman.

She smiled shyly, giving a little bow before she made eye contact with you one last time, and rushed off stage and towards her friends. As the next person got themselves set up, you couldn’t help but stare at where she had just stood.

“Wow. She was really good,” Mina said, a soft smile on her face. You nodded, leaning back into the bar again, before taking a sip of your drink.

“Yeah, she was.”

“So, why are you just sitting here?” You turned to look at Sana, an eyebrow raised. Sana scoffed at you, rolling her eyes.

“You literally looked at her like she was the fucking moon, Y/N. Now please go find her and ask for her number before I do it myself,” Sana said, crossing her arms in front of herself. You stared at her, trying to win the silent competition, before sighing and sipping your drink again. Momo groaned, grabbing your arm and shaking you lightly.

“Come on! At least one of us needs to have something good come out of tonight. Now if you don’t go, I’m going to pull the guilt card,”

“What guilt card could you possibly-”

“Y/N, my boyfriend just broke up with me. I don’t want you to be sad and alone like me, so please go find the pretty karaoke lady,” Momo said, giving you a small pout. You felt your resolve weaken, and you took a deep breath before standing up. The girls gave small cheers, laughing when you sent them a small glare. You straightened out your clothes and adjusted your hair before making your way through the crowd to where you had last seen her go.

The bar was a little crowded, so you had to push your way through a few people, but before long you caught sight of her. She was sitting at a crowded table with some other girls, laughing and talking. You felt yourself gulp involuntarily, your nerves spiking as you neared her table.

As you stepped up, her face turned towards you and you froze. She looked at you, before breaking out into a smile. Her other friends were laughing, giving her little shoves, but she simply ignored them as she got up and walked over to you.

“Hi! Sorry for staring at you for most of my song, I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable,” she asked, scratching the back of her neck. You shook your head quickly, smiling at her nervously.

“No, no not at all. I was actually coming over here to talk to you,” you said, stumbling towards her as a very drunk man pushed into you. You were way too aware of how close she was to you, and you were afraid if you didn’t get out of this bar now you would pass out from all the stimulation you were getting. Thankfully the girl seemed to notice.

“Do you wanna go somewhere quieter? So we can talk?” She asked, a kind smile making its way to her lips. You nodded in relief, following her as she maneuvered her way across the bar. She led you to a small doorway, which led into a much less crowded room with another, smaller bar area. You took a seat at the counter, ordered your drinks, and then turned to face each other.

“You have a really pretty voice…” You trailed off, realizing that you didn’t know her name.

“Jihyo. Park Jihyo,” she said, giving you a soft smile. You cursed silently. Even her name was gorgeous.

“You have a really pretty voice, Jihyo. My name is Y/N,” you said, putting out your hand. Jihyo took it lightly, shaking your hand.

“Thank you. I usually don’t do stuff like that but my friends were very insistent that I should,” she joked, thanking the bartender as he slid a drink her way.

“I get you. Karaoke bars aren’t really my thing, but my friend got broken up with and insisted that she wanted to come here,” you said, taking a sip of your own drink. Jihyo laughed, the side her eyes crinkling as she did.

“Well, it’s nice of you to come regardless. Do you sing?” Jihyo laughed as you shook your head quickly.

“Nope. Unlike you, my voice is less than heavenly and I didn’t want to put anyone through that tonight,”

“You can’t be any worse than the other people who sing,”

“You obviously don’t know me very well, Jihyo.” Jihyo chuckled, shrugging slightly.

“Guess I don’t. But, I want to.” You felt your cheeks heat up at your comment, and your eyes must have widened as Jihyo let out a giggle, another sip of her drink sliding down her throat.

“I want to get to know you too. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so comfortable holding eye contact with someone before,” you admitted. It was Jihyo’s turn to blush, a light pink dusting her cheeks as she averted her eyes. It was a few seconds before she finally looked back at you, her soft smile back on her lips.

“I know what you mean. That’s partly why I was making eye contact with you. Something just felt really… safe and comforting,” she explained. You stared at her, your eyes contacting, and you felt your heart jump in your chest a little bit. You kept looking at her, before a smile made its way to your face.

“I’d love to get to see you again,” you finally said. Jihyo nodded, returning your sentiment.

“I don’t have my phone on me, but if you want we can go get it and you can give me your number?” you asked, breathing a sigh of relief as Jihyo nodded enthusiastically. You left a few dollars on the table for your drinks, before leading Jihyo back into the main bar and back towards where your friends were.

Mina spotted you first, her smile widening as she saw Jihyo behind you. Sana and Momo were quick to turn around and immediately began giggling and being generally embarrassing. You rolled your eyes as you walked over, grabbing your phone off the counter. You handed it to Jihyo, giving your friends a pointed glare as she typed in her information.

In a moment, the phone was back in your hands and Jihyo was smiling at you.

“I’ll see you soon, Y/N,”

“I’ll see you soon, Jihyo,” you said, smiling. Jihyo leaned over, pressing a short and soft kiss on your cheek, before smiling at you and walking away. You stood there, shell shocked, not even registering the sound of your friends laughter. All you could think about was Jihyo, the siren who stole your heart, and how Lady Luck had truly been on your side tonight.

Maybe the karaoke bar wasn’t so bad.

#park jihyo #jihyo #twice jihyo #park jihyo x reader #jihyo x reader #park jihyo fluff #park jihyo imagines #jihyo fluff #jihyo imagines #twice jihyo fluff #twice #twice series #twice fanfic #twice imagines #twice fluff #twice x reader #twice kpop

100 notes · View notes

flooffybits · 4 years

Text

The Time She Professed Her Love

Idol: Jung Jinsoul (Loona)

☕buy me a coffee☕

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" She isn't sure how many times you've asked her that question, but the smile on her face refuses to leave when she squeezes your arm affectionately as she looks at your face. "You worry too much, mom." She says teasingly and you roll your eyes before giving her a small push.

She giggles before giving you a tight hug. "Seriously, the girls and I will be fine. And I'll be sure to bring you back some stuff from LA, I swear." You sigh lightly before shaking your head at the girl and then crossing your arms. "I told you, you don't have to get me anything. Just have fun and be safe, all of you."

While you were only really friends with Jinsoul, you were given the chance to meet the rest of Loona on the few occasions you were invited to the dorms or when one or two of them would hang out with the two of you on certain day offs.

"I know, and like I always tell you, I get you these things because I want to." She retorts before giving you another hug, accompanied by a quick peck on the cheek, where she forces her blush down instead of letting it rise to her face.

Your grin always did have a way of making her heart do flips. "You're cute, you know, but you should really get going. I don't want you exhausted for your flight tomorrow.”

And just like all the other times she’s failed to do so, Jinsoul merely smiles when you walk her to her dorm and bid her and the rest of Loona goodnight.

“We’re going to be gone for more than a week and you still haven’t told her anything?” Jungeun asked incredulously, earning a groan from the older girl as she laid down on the couch and buried her face in one of the cushions. “I couldn’t do it!”

“That’s what you always say after claiming to finally confessing to her.” Sooyoung quipped as she gently pushed the girl’s legs off and sat down. “I got more embarrassed when I kissed her and ended up psyching myself out.” She exhaled while turning her head, cheek pressed against the pillow as she pouted helplessly.

Jungeun cringed at her expression before she sat down. “Maybe you’re more of the do before tell kind of person.” She teases, only for another groan to follow. “Oh, relax. Knowing Y/n, I’m sure it’ll go perfectly fine and you’re just overreacting.”

“That’s exactly my problem! It’s Y/n, I can’t just look her in the eye and say ‘hey, I’ve been crushing on you for the longest time’. Even just looking at her freaks me out!” The blonde whined as she sat up, clutching the pillow against her chest as Sooyoung patted her back. “You just did it. You don’t have to look at her if you don’t want to.”

“Why can’t I not tell her because I don’t want to?”

“We are not pussies. We don’t take the easy way out.”

“Language.”

Jinsoul could only shake her head at her friends before finally retiring for the night, putting the conversation of her much needed confession on hold once again.

Right after their performance, the girls were led to a room where there were chairs for each member set up and another chair being separated for the interviewer. Haseul made sure that everyone got to their respective seats and even helped in handing each person either a blanket or water bottle, Kahei lending a helping hand before the person assigned to interview them came in, smiling and happily greeting the girls.

It was one of the usual interviews they had, having questions about their songs and the latest comeback. Eventually, questions are being shifted to more lighthearted and casual ones when each girls were comfortable enough to answer them.

The host was polite and nice enough to know not to push past certain topics such as the leader’s hiatus, unless the members initiated it.

“What do you plan on doing before going back to Korea?” The translator told them and each girl enthusiastically spoke up on what they had planned for this trip of theirs until it was eventually Jinsoul’s turn.

Her smile was present as she remembers her mission on buying you a gift for when she gets back, and that’s exactly what she tells the interviewer. “I’m going to look for the perfect gift for someone really close to me.” She explains and Junguen quietly snickers behind her and Jiwoo beams happily at the admission.

“This person must be really important.” The interviewer cocked their head to the side as Jinsoul smiled widely and nodded her head. “They are! I know I don’t outwardly tell them, but they mean a whole lot to me, so I really want to make them happy with this gift.”

“This sounds a bit like a confession.” The interviewer joked in good nature and all the girls laughed. “I guess it kind of is.” Jinsoul admits, but the smile on her face and the way she says it, it isn’t something people could tell if she actually meant it or not unless they personally knew who she was.

And with how well you knew each other, she was positive that you would understand as she said, “I’d really love to make them happy, whether it’s through the gift or even just seeing each other, maybe a call or text since we have such busy schedules. Anything to hear them laugh or see them smile would be worth it.” She finishes, and she had absolutely doubt you would be able to understand that she meant every single word that left her mouth.

She may have been too shy or embarrassed to say it to your face, but maybe the time away was all she really needed to get the courage she wanted to finally bear her heart to you and tell you face to face how she really sees you.

All that was left was coming home and telling you.

#girl group #girl group scenarios #girl group imagines #Loona #loona scenarios #loona imagines #loona jinsoul #jinsoul loona #jung jinsoul #jinsoul #jinsoul scenarios #jinsoul imagines

68 notes · View notes

starside-selfships · 4 years

Text

Homecoming

Tonight was certainly not in my favor for the most part. To bring you up to speed, it was homecoming night for my younger brother, along with his friends, and I was an unpaid chauffeur for them. Whether I said yes or no to my mom, which the latter would result in a scolding, I would still be driving, whether I liked it or not. I had plans to meet up with someone tonight and now, unfortunately, I had to cancel those plans. Wonderful. So much for treating myself. Saying yes to avoid any conflict between my mother and I, I was driving my brother and his group of boys and girls, one of them most likely his significant other, to the nearby high school, the same one where I graduated from, but I don’t think any of that really mattered. Sure, there were going to be people there that recognized me, but it’s not like I planned on going inside to dance or mingle. Don’t get me wrong, I was gussied up for the occasion, but with how tonight was already progressing, going inside to try and get into the groove was not on my agenda. Little did I know that I was going to be completely wrong.

We were nearing the school as I was in the driver’s seat and I focused on the road as best I could, overhearing the conversation in the back amongst the group of seniors about how my brother was probably going to get laid or something, followed by a roar of laughter. While he was of age, as am I, I didn’t think I would be hit with a strong dose of discomfort hearing those words coming out of their mouths. Yeah, they were in high school so it made sense for them to say stuff like that. Already I began to question this night before my thoughts started to shift towards a particular someone that made my smile return after it had been gone for hours. A demon, or imp rather, down in hell that no one knew, except for a few of my closest friends who I knew could definitely keep a secret, had my heart and more. My smile remained small, but it was genuine, a chuckle eliciting from me as I continued to drive and within seconds of starting to think about him, I noticed my phone vibrating in the front passenger seat out of the corner of my eye. Look, I am, and I quote from one of my favorite content creators, a “good fucking citizen” and I would never risk my life or others because of a single text message. However, this wasn’t a single text. Whoever was trying to reach me was literally trying to nuke my phone for I counted the vibrations from listening closely to them. I didn’t bother picking up my phone so I just counted. 1...2...3...4...5...not even five minutes and I’ve somehow counted 23 and rising text messages being sent to my phone. Was it that urgent or was someone just spamming me with nonsense because I can’t remember the last time I was spammed like that and my memory is on point, not to brag or anything.

Upon pulling into one of the many parking lots of the high school, my brother and his friends began unbuckling themselves from their seats and after setting the SUV into “park”, they all got out one by one, on both sides, putting on their masks. I forgot to mention that this homecoming had a theme, which was “Monster Mash”, so zombies, mummies, your usual batch of monsters from all types of media of course, along with the special monsters that only one or two people only knew and were ready to discuss and talk about at a moment’s notice. As much as I wanted to sit in the car, I knew I was going to have to go in at some point, so earlier today, I decided I was going as a werewolf, picking up a fitting mask from the city’s costume store, but instead of just having a mask and calling it a day, it evolved into something more homemade. I spent several extra hours turning my tux into a more fitting and lycanthrope-themed outfit, dark fur lining the edges and front of my suit, outfitting myself with wolf ears and covering my face in blood to represent claw marks. Thankfully, I remembered that I had an old wolf tail, cleaning it up and hoping that the appearance was pleasing to the eye in some way and to my surprise, it certainly was. Not like anyone was going to care honestly, but you know, what’s wrong with a little bit of effort, even if no one’s going to notice?

“You’re not coming?” My brother questioned as he reached for his mask and was about to head inside with the others, earning a shake of my head as a response.

“We’ll see, you go have fun, okay?” I said, seeing him run off back to this squad and closing the car door as I rested my head on the back of my seat and sigh heavily. Finally, no one could hear or see me cry, the lights on the inside roof of the car beginning to slowly dim, shutting off completely and leaving me in darkness. “Fuck.” I whispered, trying not to choke on my tears thanks to the numerous thoughts clouding my head, many of them were memories of my high school days and how they all just generally sucked. I’m going to spare you of the details, but in short, I was a teacher’s pet who did good, had good grades, and tried so hard not to get caught up in a relationship since, well, at the time I wasn’t into anyone and nor was anyone into me. Looking back at it, I’ve never been hit with an intense pain in my life. But then, my thoughts were interrupted by another vibration. “Alright, who’s trying to nuke my phone?” I told myself as I reached over and grabbed my phone in frustration, turning the screen on and discovering that the imp himself had been sending me a flood of messages, alongside his employees, including the hellhound. “Wait, what?” I was stunned, why was I getting all these messages from I.M.P? Unlocking my phone and going through the wave of texts and images, most of them being from Blitzo, I checked the ones belonging to Millie, Loona, and Moxxie first, working my way up from there.

Millie “Hey Eli!” “Just wanted to say that I hope tonight is great for you and Blitzo!” “He has a really big surprise for you!” “Have fun you two!”

Loona “Elijah” “Heard ya weren’t feeling great” “Shit sucks but Blitz has a surprise for you later tonight” “Ain’t saying shit, but I hope you have fun” “You deserve it, alright?”

Moxxie “Dear Elijah, I certainly hope your night is swell. I overheard from my boss that it wasn’t going as planned and not to spoil anything, but he has a surprise for you later tonight. Have fun!” “p. s it’ll be a nice break from him interfering with my relationship with Millie.”

And now, all that there was left to check was Blitzo, I didn’t bother holding back my tears. Who was going to watch? Most of his texts were pictures of him looking for an outfit, getting help from a smiling Millie, annoyed Moxxie, and a Loona who looked like she didn’t really care. That’s what the realization hit me soon after. I didn’t want to believe it, but I looked through every single text again and yeah, sure enough, it was real. The imp was my date. Blitzo was my homecoming date. Another text, the last one from Blitzo for the night it seemed, sounding ominous of course.

“See ya soon, Eli. XOXO”

My smile returned once again as I regained my thoughts, clearing my head and doing my best to ignore all the negative and previous ones that arrived earlier tonight, replacing all of them with one: the fact that the imp that nearly killed me by accident was my homecoming date. The two of us have talked and spent a lot of time together, but who would’ve thought that he would be the one I would fall for and make my better in a way like this? Yeah, I was into him the most out of everyone at I.M.P. Of course, Millie and Moxxie were married and Loona, I’ll be honest, she was someone who appeared that she wasn’t too keen on dating. Blitzo, on the other hand, ever since the two of us met with him pounced over my body with a double barrel shotgun aimed directly at my face, we’re never been closer. That story about how we met is a real doozy, but it’s certainly for another time.

After waiting a little longer, I finally left the vehicle and locked the doors, stuffing the keys in my pocket and trading it for my phone, holding the mask in my other hand, my body on fire at the constant, recurring thought that wasn’t leaving anytime soon, one that pushed all the others away, a splendid thought that was the only thing I could think of. Before I knew it, I was at the front doors of the school and I followed the couples and groups, most likely students, towards the gym, looking at my phone and expecting a text, but instead, just silence. I guess all I needed to do was wait for him, and that’s what I did as I was greeted with the sound of deep bass rumbling through my body thanks to the booming speakers, along with the bright spotlights that moved around at a rapid pace, mixed with multiple multicolored strobe lights. It was a party alright. With the song that was playing as well, it was a fitting one with the theme. And lost in this party, I assumed, was a neatly dressed imp waiting for me. I walked along the edge of the gym, avoiding the growing crowd of dancers and hoping to possibly run into Blitzo at some point, only to be stopped by, unsurprisingly, one of my high school teachers.

“Elijah, is that you? Hey kid, what brings you here?!” She asked, leaning against the wall with a drink, a red cup, yes a red cup, and wrapped in a mummy outfit, bandages covering her body, along with one eye while the other was perfectly visible.

“Just chaperoning for my brother and his friends.” I answered, which was half the truth, but how could I explain that I was waiting for my demonic plus one?

“For a chaperone, you fit in right with the crowd, nice outfit! Did you make it yourself?”

“Yeah, I did actually.”

“I always knew you were one of the more creative ones in the class and it shows, awesome job!” I found myself getting blushy rather quickly at her compliment, rubbing the back of my head as I continued the conversation and it soon turned into one where my heart began to race rapidly. “So, tell me, do you have a date?” I wanted to lie, but then again, I was unsure of Blitzo was my date, or even if I wanted to say he was to others, so I took a deep breath and tried to make up my mind quickly.

“Yeah, I do, he’s a bit late though, it might be a while before he gets here.”

“Who said I was late?” The imp said, grabbing ahold of my shoulder gently and wanting me to turn around so I did, my eyes meeting his and I could see that his were that wickedly bright yellow, with a hint of red in the middle. Sinister, but always a joy to look at. “Hey, cutie.” I was about to open my mouth to compliment his outfit, resembling Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas, from top to bottom, only for my teacher to butt in. This was going to be a joy.

“Oooooh, and who might this be, Elijah?! He must learn from the best because his costume’s amazing!” This was going to be a real interesting night. I was already contemplating on going back to the car.

“The name’s Blitzo, pronounced Blitz and the O is silent, also known as this handsome guy’s boyfriend.” He said, greeting himself to-

...HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE. Did he just say boyfriend? Was I hearing that correctly? I wasn’t crazy, right?

“The name’s Blitzo, the O is silent, also known as this handsome guy’s boyfriend.” He said, greeting himself to-wait a minute, did he just say boyfriend? Did I hear that correctly? I wasn’t crazy, right?

“Well, Blitzo, it was really nice to meet you. Elijah was, and still is, one of my best students, creative too, you’re a lucky one.”

“Oh, trust me,” He looked over at me, a look that read ‘I love you’, his eyes appearing as if he was going to cry, but his smile was wide. “I know.” He was being completely truthful with her and myself. Not a single word he said was a lie, at least that’s what I believed. Something told me that it was true, every single word was honest and straight from the heart. “Let’s go dance, yeah?” He said softly towards me, earning a soft nod in reply and so, the two of us made our way to the dance floor. I was so nervous to ask him a single question with a plentiful rushing through my head. “Shocked, huh? Don’t be, Elijah. I know the two of us have been together for some time and I may have heard from a little birdie that you were going to be helping out your brother for some dance.” I reminisced on when I remember talking about the homecoming dance and then it hit me.

“Damn it, Angel.”

“C’mon, you missed me. You’re glad she told me too.”

“Yeah, I did. But, like, didn’t you have some more important stuff, like work? And your horse to take care of?”

“Oh, don’t worry. Work’s slow and boring and Moxxie’s watching over her so, I’m free for the night! What better way to spend my night with my new boyfriend too?” He said, pressing his lips against my cheek and sending my heart sky high, my hand on his beginning to clench. “Easy cowboy, it was just a kiss. We haven’t even gotten to the good stuff, you know.” Okay, now he was just trying to get me flustered really early. We made jokes about that stuff, but was he being serious? About all of this?

“I was actually going to ask about that. Do you, like, you’re actually interested in me, right?” He stopped in his tracks and the two of us were halted together, surrounded by multiple dancing groups and couples, I could sense the music that was once pounding in my ears beginning to die out, soon Blitzo’s voice was the only thing I could hear. “All those times we’ve been together, from the day you were in my bed ready to kill me and only to discover you were in the wrong house to all those times we’ve spent in Hell and on the surface, to that one time you were actually full-on naked in my bed and I was nearly caught, you’re being honest with me, right?”

“Elijah,” Blitzo began, reaching for my other hand to hold it tight, gazing into my eyes and I soon lost myself in them, my focus and attention being grabbed and held by him and him alone. “I’m being one hundred percent honest with you. If I killed you, I would’ve missed a chance like this and, god fucking dammit, I’m trying not to cry here.”

“Trust me, I’ve already done that tonight, you’re good.” I joked, the two of us laughing as his claw-like hands gripped mine.

“But yeah, I’m serious. From the bottom of my heart, Elijah. No bullshit. I love you. Yeah, you’re a human and I nearly killed you, but that night I met you and nearly blew your brains out, was probably the fucking day of my whole eternal suffering, as they usually say. That’s, that’s what they say, right?” Hearing that filled my heart with an intense amount of joy and soon, I felt my worries wash away. Who would’ve thought that I would not only fall in love with a demon below the surface of this Earth, but an imp who was not only charming, but skilled at his profession? A professional that was basically assassination. Then again, he just straight up kills anyone he’s paid to kill alongside the other three. “You can cry all you want, okay?” I didn’t want to, especially in front of Blitzo.

“Oh, shut up. I love you too.” I said, earning a nice laugh from him. Moments later, the music shifted from the usual extremely bumping and loud beat into something more mellow, but you could still dance to. A song that people weren’t really a fan of, but for me, and surprisingly Blitzo, it was perfect. To my surprise, the imp knew the damn lyrics.

Oh, don’t you dare look back Just keep your eyes on me. I said, you’re holding back. He said, shut up and dance with me! This demon is my destiny. He said, ooh-ooh-hoo! Shut up and dance with me!

The two of us followed suit and already had the floor so who was gonna stop us? No one was certainly going to stop Blitzo and for me, I was already lost in the moment, I could only see Blitzo and I losing ourselves in the music together, singing and dancing along. No distractions or disturbances as we let loose. Unbeknownst to me, the crowd around us had cleared and it was just me and Blitzo dancing to the beat with a silent audience cheering on a human and his boyfriend, unaware that he was truly a demon. I didn’t care about any of that mess now, I was overjoyed to be dancing with my imp boyfriend under the moving spotlight, the two of us grabbing the attention of all the other costumed people standing by and watching us. It didn’t even feel like they were there.

Deep in his eyes I think I see the future I realize this is my last chance! He took my arm I don’t know how it happened We took the floor and he said…

Oh, don’t you dare look back Just keep your eyes on me I said, you’re holding back He said, shut up and dance with me This demon is my destiny He said, ooh-ooh-hoo! Shut up and dance!

The final chorus continued to play and the two of us were going at it, I could sense and hear quiet cheers and wolf whistles, yet Blitzo’s voice filled my ears and drowned it all out.

Ooh-hoo, shut up and dance with me!

And just like that, the music halted and the two of us were in a bit of a position, me dipping and holding his body down, our eyes locked onto each other, the crowd coming back to life with a roar of an applause. They witnessed everything and as much as I wanted to look around and see everyone, Blitzo kept my face looking directly at his. “Hey, don’t focus on them. It’s okay.” I smiled down at him and nodded, the music shifting back into something more exciting and full of life and sending the crowd’s back onto the floor.

“I didn’t know you were so good at dancing, Blitzo.” I said, complimenting him on his dancing and wondering where he picked that up, then again, it hit me that he’s been bugging a married couple for Satan knows how long, and he’s been on the surface a few times.

“You go around, you know some folks, you pick up some new things, learn a few tricks.” There was a small moment of silence. “Alright, I picked it up from Moxx and Mills.” I had a feeling. Right as I was about to say something while bringing back up onto his feet, I was the one to be dipped this time and caught off guard. “Now pucker up, cutie~” And with that, Blitzo kissed me sweetly and passionately, my vision getting blurry as my eyes fluttered and my heart was more soothed and relaxed. I will admit that Blitzo has kissed me on numerous occasions, but this was something he never pulled or did and it was immensely surprisingly and completely satisfying. I didn’t want to ruin the moment at all. In fact, I wanted to make it even better. So I decided to surprise Blitzo with something up my sleeve, slipping my tongue into his mouth and catching him off guard, only for our tongues to collide and intertwine with each other, his claws yanking and gripping me closer to his body, our lips still locked together for a good couple of seconds and right as we finally pulled away, there was an embarrassing amount of saliva attached to my lips and his, a dark blush hitting both our faces. “Well, that was, I wasn’t expecting you to do that.”

“Yeah, wasn’t expecting that kiss either, heh.” The silence between us was high but was soon broken with Blitzo speaking up again.

“Alright, I’m just gonna say it. I know you’re probably thinking it too, are you going to make love to me already or what?” My eyes widened in surprise, my body heating up in response and while I was expecting a lewd comment or question, he was just completely straightforward with it, no hints, or riddles, just straight from the head.

“C-Can we go to the car now, like, right now?” I asked, hoping he could sense the desperateness in my voice, along with the look of lust in my eyes. Yeah, he definitely saw it, without a doubt. That smile of his, how he licked his lips in front of me, shooting a sexy glare at me, tonight was going to be a ride, in more ways than one as Blitzo swiftly picked me up in his arms and carried me towards the car bridal-style, grabbing a few eyeballs as he did.

“Of course~” We soon made our way outside and Blitzo finally set me down, not even bothering to look around if there were any watchers who were late to the party, as if he were planning something.

“Something wrong?” He didn’t reply with a vocal answer, but instead, what came next was what made this entire night probably the best homecoming ever. I’m going to spare the details, but what came next was pretty saucy.

Sometime Later…

I found myself rising out of bed to the sight of several dimmed lights and within seconds, the awareness hit me hard. I wasn’t at home. I was in Blitzo’s home. “Morning, sleepyhead.” The imp to my side greeted, not wearing anything like me as I hid myself under the sheets. I half-expected him to be dressed in some cute horse-themed pjs, but no, he was full-on naked under the sheets, his legs touching mine.

“Hey, Blitzo. I, umm, should I ask how I got here?” I questioned, preparing myself for the story that Blitzo had to tell, this should be good.

“Before you ask, because I have a feeling that’s the first thing you’re thinking about, your brother and his friends are fine. They got home safely and then I brought you down here to rest!” Blitzo explained, my eyes widening in fear at the idea of what he could’ve possibly done.

“For the love of God, Blitzo, please tell me the car’s in one piece. Please tell me no one got hurt.” I begged, shaking in anticipation, and not even hearing the room door open as I turned to see Moxxie come in.

“Actually, I helped drive,” The other imp claimed. “Not to be rude towards your new boyfriend, Elijah, but I had a very strong feeling that if my boss were to drive, it wouldn’t be pleasant. That and he introduced himself and the rest of us to your brother and friends.” Blitzo, you did not. You did fucking not.

“What, they were nice!”

“Sir, excuse my language, but you fucking scared them!” When Moxxie said those words, I didn’t even want to imagine how he scared and possibly scared them for life.

“Oh my God, Blitzo, why…”

“Don’t worry about it, Eli, you’re lucky I didn’t tell them about our little love-making session.”

“Sir, that’s WAY too much information.”

I didn’t know how to feel exactly with my brother knowing about Blitzo and the others, but as the conversation between him and Moxxie continued, I couldn’t help but think about that night, what I experienced with Blitzo and the things we did together, how he confessed his love and then made love to me. It felt unreal to think about knowing that the imp I spent the most time with actually liked me that way. That’s when I smiled and felt really glad that night ended up being in my favor.

#star's notebook #otp: satisfied client #I LEFT OUT THE SMUT #I'LL SHARE THAT LATER #THERE IS SOME SUGGESTIVE STUFF BUT I WILL TAG IT AS #ns//ft #ALSO ITS A LONG ONE #WITH THE SMUT ITS LIKE 5K WORDS #I DIDN'T THINK I WROTE THAT MUCH BUT DAMN #I ALSO GOT A BIT EXCITED GOING THROUGH THIS AND PROOFREADING IT #THERE MAY BE A COUPLE OF ERRORS AND IM SORRY #blitzo #helluva boss #self ship fic

17 notes · View notes

rukakikuchi · 5 years

Text

LOONAverse timeline theory - Breakdown (Part 1, continued)

Alright, continuing where we left off, it’s time to shift our focus away from Earth and move to Eden for a moment.

Yves’ rebellion

Yves is a resident of Eden, a world that is meant to be an ideal utopia. But Yves herself has begun to question her faith in whether this so-called “perfect” life she has is what she wants.

In Eden, she doesn’t have the freedom to express her true self. She wants to go somewhere where she isn’t restricted by someone else’s rules and do what she wants.

So she finds and eats the Forbidden Fruit, an apple, which has the power to grant wishes in Eden, and wishes for a way to leave Eden.

Her wish creates a special doorway which allows her to leave Eden and travel to Earth.

On Earth, she can cut ties with her past self, the person she pretended to be in Eden, and be who she truly is.

(In her solo video, we see her literally cutting tags with her name.)

Now the question is, where is this doorway?

The forest. The forest that is connected to all three planes in the Moebius; the same forest Yeojin got lost in.

Yves grabbed a frog plushie in the claw machine, which is Yeojin’s representative animal.

This means that the one who lured Yeojin into the forest she got lost in was actually Yves.

But that begs the question, why did Yves do that in the first place?

We’ll talk about that in a bit.

Also, I’ve seen most people say that the next plushie she picks up is an owl, but... To me, it looks more like a penguin, at least, in my opinion. The penguin is Chuu’s representative animal, and we know that Chuu admires Yves. And Yves knows that.

So perhaps this foreshadows when Yves’ influence starts to “grab hold” of the other girls in Eden (Chuu, Gowon, and Olivia), and eventually drives them to leave Eden.

(Update: It was actually shown on LOONA TV to be an owl, so this kinda debunks that part of the theory. 😅 But I plan on talking about what my thoughts are now that I do know it's actually an owl, so look forward to that.)

But I’m getting ahead of myself. (lol)

So what happens next?

Human ViVi’s death

While on Earth, Yves meets ViVi (who is human at this time) in a roller skating rink/bowling alley. And they both have a good time, this genuine connection between them starting to emerge.

However, Yves still has a problem. Her escape from Eden, at the moment, is only temporary. And she knows that she can’t stay outside of Eden forever. Not yet, anyways.

She has to go back, but she makes a promise to ViVi that they will meet again.

However, after they parted ways, ViVi is killed by Olivia, who found her and killed her out of her resentment towards Yves.

How she got there when Yves only just recently fell from Eden is a topic for next chapter.

Unaware of this, Yves meets someone else on Earth.

Choerry?

Well... Yes and no. This is Choerry, but not exactly the same Choerry. Something about her seems different compared to her appearance in the first half of “Love Cherry Motion”.

I know that sounds a little confusing, but I’ll explain what I mean in a later chapter.

In any case, Yves can sense that this girl is able travel to the different planes. And this means, she can help her achieve her goal.

Before returning to Eden, Yves leaves Choerry here with a favor for her to fulfill when she needs it; to help her leave Eden. This time, permanently.

(Okay, I literally just thought of this, but maybe this green tunnel we see in the "Starlight" Cinema Theory clip where Yves and Choerry meet, which is the same tunnel we see Yves walking through in some scenes of "new", is actually supposed to represent the doorway through the forest into the other planes. 😲 Again, this just shows how complex the lore of the LOONAverse is.)

Christmas time and Yeojin’s disappearance

Heejin, Hyunjin, and Haseul are celebrating Christmas together.

While shopping for Christmas presents and waiting to meet Heejin and Hyunjin, Haseul finds Chuu, after she had eaten the Forbidden Fruit to be with Yves and passed out.

Chuu wakes up, not noticing Haseul, and leaves.

While this is going on, Yves starts her first idea in how to escape from Eden. Similar to what happened to Choerry and Hyunjin, she tries to lure someone from Earth to Eden and switch places with them.

But things don’t go as she plans, because Yeojin ends up getting lost in the forest, and stuck between worlds. And I don’t think this was Yves’ intention.

Remember “My Melody”?

Haseul’s shirt has Yves’ color, burgundy. And Yeojin’s has peach, which is Chuu’s color.

I believe Yves was actually trying to lure Haseul into the forest to switch places with her, but ended up attracting Yeojin instead and she failed to reach Eden and got lost.

In fact, both Haseul and Yeojin have some interesting parallels to Yves and Chuu.

Chuu admires Yves, similar to a childish crush, and we know that Yeojin views Haseul as a mother or big sister figure. Chuu and Yeojin both look up to someone close to them.

There seems to also be parallels between Chuu and Yeojin’s respective solo MVs that many have pointed out already.

Not to mention...

In the choreography version of “Kiss Later”, doesn’t Yeojin’s outfit here resemble a strawberry, Chuu’s representative fruit?

There’s clearly some sort of connection here.

So now, Yeojin is missing, and Haseul is affected deeply by her sudden, mysterious disappearance. She tries to go in search for answers as to what happened to her.

While on her search, she comes across what appears to be another version of herself.

This person is a version of Haseul that exists deep inside her heart; they are her shadow. But she has trouble facing it, especially now that Yeojin is gone. She’s scared of facing this other side of herself.

Here, her fight or flight reflexes kick in. Because she’s so focused on finding out the truth about Yeojin’s disappearance, she chooses to reject that other part of herself deep inside her heart, shooting a diamond towards it.

But when she goes to look...

She instead finds a white bird, now dead.

The ice in Haseul’s heart begins to melt, much like the winter snow, and now she’s filled with deep remorse for what she has done.

Again, let’s talk about some of the parallels between Yves and Haseul.

Aside from the fact that their representative animals are both white birds, they are both shown to cut ties with a part of themselves.

For Yves, she chose to reject her past self, as well as the version of herself she pretends to be in Eden, in order to be her true self. This choice was made after she began to question her faith and think for herself and what she truly wants.

But in Haseul’s case, she seems to reject her shadow/deep part of her heart without fully thinking it through. Because she’s so focused on finding Yeojin, she wasn’t thinking clearly, even if she thought she was.

Now that we’ve established that, time to move on.

ViVi’s rebirth and freeing Jinsoul

ViVi is now reborn, as an android girl living in Hong Kong. Some of her memories are missing or have been warped due to her transformation into an android, such as how she died and her meeting with Yves.

One day, she finds Jinsoul, who was trapped in a basement, and frees her.

Because she was trapped for so long, she doesn’t remember who she is (possibly a side effect due to half of Olivia’s heart being inside her?), where she came from, or about her Odd Eye powers. But she knows that she needs to “return home”.

Now let’s go back to “My Sunday” again.

So, how exactly are Heejin and Hyunjin connected to Jinsoul and ViVi?

First, let’s examine Hyunjin’s parallels with ViVi.

Hyunjin was originally from the Cosmos, and had an Odd Eye, meaning she wasn’t a normal human. But after she came to Earth, she lost her Odd Eye powers and her memories, becoming a normal girl.

Meanwhile, ViVi was a normal girl who was killed and turned into an android, and some of her memories as a human are now messed up. We even see in “Love & Live” that ViVi has an “Odd Eye” of her own.

They both went through similar transformations: Hyunjin became a normal girl, while ViVi became an android.

Now, what about Heejin? What’s her connection to Jinsoul?

The answer is actually rather simple... It’s Olivia.

Heejin already has a connection to Olivia because she sensed when she killed ViVi. And going by the reverse order theory, Heejin and Olivia are believed to be mirror counterparts, just like how Hyunjin and Choerry are.

But now, because Jinsoul “swallowed” half of Olivia’s heart, this means Heejin now has a deeper connection to Jinsoul.

The “sin of swallowing the sun” is a recurring line that’s connected to Jinsoul.

Singing in the Rain:

Guilty of swallowing the sun in the afternoon I’m right here, heated up

Egoist:

Hey, for the sin of swallowing you You get bigger and bigger, beautiful you

And guess what Heejin’s first lines were in “Love & Live”.

You get larger in my heart each day My heart grows hotter, like I’m hugging the sun

(^This is the translation in the official music video, but one of the alternate translations that I found translated it as “My heart becomes so hot, like it swallowed the sun”.)

Oh yeah! And also, there’s a special version of Jinsoul’s “Singing in the Rain” music video... where Heejin does the rap!

(Side note though, it was originally supposed to be Kim Lip doing the rap, but Heejin and Haseul also recorded their own version {See LOONA TV #159}, and Heejin’s version ended up being the one that got released, but I still think it holds significance.)

And speaking of “Singing in the Rain”, it’s possible that something else Jinsoul and Heejin might share is the desire to spread color to their world.

Remember the colors Heejin sings of in “ViViD”?

Red, orange, yellow, green...

That always bugged me ever since I first watched the video! I thought, what about blue and purple? Because green can’t be made without blue, so where is it?

It’s Jinsoul.

We see her spreading her blue throughout “Singing in the Rain”.

And again, much of her lyrics connect to her and her color.

I used to be untouchable and dangerous But in one moment, your blue wraps around me

For the sin of swallowing up all the stars in the sky You spread your blue

The air is getting wet from the rain (Getting colored) Hey, the sun inside of us is getting colored, now

Jinsoul’s rain doesn’t just rejuvenate life in the Cosmos. It spreads her color blue, and creates purple when combined with red, Kim Lip’s color.

We’ll talk more about Olivia’s parallels to Heejin, Jinsoul’s reawakening, and “Singing in the rain” in the next coming chapters.

And with that said, that’s the end of Chapter 1! We’ll continue to talk about the meeting and formation of LOONA 1/3 in a later chapter, because in Chapter 2, will be bringing more of Eden’s story to the forefront!

#LOONA #LOONA 1/3 #LOONA Odd Eye Circle #LOONA yyxy #Heejin #Hyunjin #Haseul #Yeojin #ViVi #Kim Lip #JinSoul #Choerry #Yves #Chuu #Gowon #Olivia Hye #LOONAverse

18 notes · View notes

jisungmark · 5 years

Text

for those interested in my kcon experience. if not, just skip!

for those who may not know: chungha, everglow, and oneus were unable to attend due to visa issues. wheein from mamamoo was unable to attend due to health issues.

day one (8/15):

we (as in my bestfriend and i) didn’t have anything planned since we weren’t going to klub kcon. we just went straight to early check-in after we dropped our luggage off, the line was c r a z y. we saw what engagements we had for groups (originally we pulled n.flying (2x), mamamoo, momoland, and verivery audiences) then we went down to this big huddle that they had going on and ended up switching a few of our passes and getting sf9, stray kids, and ateez. after all that was done, we just went site seeing and tried in & out, it’s not good.

day two (8/16):

we woke up kinda early since we were still on pa time so we went to get breakfast. then we just went straight to the convention. the convention was huge and it had so much going on, it was absolutely wild. we did random dance plays, watched dance groups perform, yknow things like that. then we went to ateez’s audience. they are so fucking pretty in person. yunho had blonde hair with black roots. yeosang and this american air is a good mix 🥵 we didn’t have a hi-touch so we watched the other crowd do it. san was interlocking his fingers with poc girls. seeing that made my entire day, it was so beautiful. after that we just went back to the convention and did some more bullshit. ateez ended up coming down for a random dance play but by the time we found out, the crowd was too big. so we waited on the side and got videos of them when they left. we blew some time until we had to go wait in line for kcon rookies. ateez, loona, and ab6ix performed. we were towards the back, but the back view was so nice bc you could see everything. they introduced themselves, played games, and each performed. once that was over, we went to go eat. we tried shake shack, chic-fil-a is better.

day three (8/17):

so we had our n.flying audience passes still but we had no idea who they were. so we ended up skipping their engagement. i really don’t even remember what we’re doing at that time. sf9 had a live talk and we watched some of it before we bolted down to their audience line to get a good standing place. lemme tell you, dawon being a crackhead in english is my new kink. hwiyoung was out here glowing, well everyone was. they were just so mf pretty. it’s crazy because we were gonna sell those passes so that we could see ateez at the foodie stage, but that crowd was too big and it was impossible to really see. we had an audience pass for stray kids, but some mess happened and we ended up not seeing them. we tried to do a meet and greet with holland, but the line was too long so we ended up not seeing him. i bought some merch and we left the convention. we went back to our friends’ hotel before we went to koreatown. i bought a little ass seventeen keychain for $11 (the love for my boys). then we went to go eat at a restaurant. we saw a girl who does dance covers on insta (@_isabae_) outside. the idea became to all hold up a different video of hers towards the window until she saw it. she may have cried, she may have recorded us, she may have called us weird. then we just all went back to our places of stay at wee hours in the morning.

day four (8/18):

i ended up buying a verivery hi-touch from someone. i went by myself because my bestfriend didn’t really know them. we played games and won free stuff before i went down and got in line. she stayed up in the convention and was gonna get near the stage for the live talk with stray kids but the crowd was crazy. it was almost half the convention that was filled. i was in a good spot when it came to seeing verivery, all the pictures i got were close and clear. their hands are so soft. look, i’m supposed to be minchan biased but when hoyoung closed his fingers around my hand, my mind went blank. like i truthfully don’t remember much of my hi-touch but that part as well as yongseung holding on. minchan is on the taller side and his fingers are really slender. but that’s really all i remember. i went back to my bestfriend and almost cried bc of it. some nice girl in the audience crowd recorded for me. we stood in the stray kids live talk crowd for a bit before we went over to the star square. verivery was over there again and i like almost tore my bestfriend’s arm off when i saw them behind the curtain. they read us our horoscopes and signed their name on the wall. we made our way back to the live talk since we knew verivery was gonna be next but a lot of them didn’t move from stray kids. my bestfriend went to a random play dance and i went and got in line for red carpet. we sat in line for two hours but it was worth it. we saw stray kids, verivery, n.flying (we didn’t know they were so fucking beautiful???? we regretted not going to their audience), itzy, fromis_9, AND SEVENTEEN. now y’all know how i feel about seventeen. i literally started crying a bit as soon as i saw them. i recorded each group i liked to the best of my ability but i was screaming and shaking. seventeen was last and after they left, i really just broke down and cried. like i got to see the group who means probably the most to me in person. we just hung out with some friends until it was time to say our goodbyes. we acted a fool in public and some guy thought we were actually performers so he asked to take a picture with us. meanwhile there was a group actually performing (@b2e on insta). we took pictures, videos, exchanged social medias, everything before it was time to go. we got back to our airbnb with heavy hearts and we flew back home the next morning.

#seventeen #stray kids #nu’est #sf9 #verivery #ab6ix #ateez #iz*one #loona #momoland #fromis_9 #itzy #mamamoo #n.flying #kcon 2019 #kcon la

12 notes · View notes

girls-scenarios · 5 years

Text

I Want to Be Your (Girl)Friend (Chapter 1)

Idols: Haseul and Vivi (Loona)

Prompt: Just like she has so many times before, Haseul catches herself watching Kahei work through the café window. College!AU

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: I love Viseul and I had this idea pop into my head while waiting for my coffee at the library cafe. It also ended up getting very, very long, so I’m splitting it into two chapters (Tumblr please don’t mess with this post). Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and I’ll be posting more requests soon!

AO3 AFF ♡ Tip Jar♡

Haseul has always considered herself a capable woman. Really, there isn’t much that she can’t do if she puts her mind to it. She’s never had too much trouble with school (although her dissertation is starting to challenge that) and she’s good at her job as a librarian, even if she didn’t major in research. She can almost always help when other students come to her with questions, and if she can’t help, she’ll get someone who can. She’s likable, makes friends quick, and adopts any younger friends even quicker. There’s only one thing that she isn’t good at: flirting.

It isn’t like she’s never had any experience with flirting. She had a boyfriend or two in high school, and a girlfriend during her freshman year of college. But all three of them were people she’d known as friends before they started dating, and it had been a while since she’d been romantic with anyone at all, because going to school and having about ten adopted children tends to prevent that from happening.

“We aren’t kids, Haseul,” Sooyoung says when Haseul confides in her, narrowing her eyes. True, Sooyoung is actually a little bit older than her. But that doesn’t mean that she acts older.

“Just last week, you called me crying because you were drunk and dropped your sandwich while you were trying to get back to your laptop to write your essay. You’re a child, Sooyoung.”

“Whatever, that’s just called being a stressed out college student. Sometimes you just have to get drunk, drop your sandwich, and cry it out.”

“I’ve never done that,” Haseul points out, and the other girl shrugs.

“Maybe that’s just because you’re boring. How long has it been since you’ve been to a party?”

“A… while, but that’s not because I’m lame. I get invited to plenty of them, I just don’t have the time to go. Being a biology major isn’t easy, you know. Especially when you have an English minor and about twenty essays to write.”

Sooyoung at least has the decency to look a bit regretful of her accusation of Haseul’s lameness (although this is Sooyoung, she never feels sorry for long). “Okay, you have a point. But still. You just need to get out there more. Talk to some hot people. Flirt a little. Build your game. It’s not that hard.”

“Says the notorious flirt.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad anymore, I have a girlfriend!”

“Just the other day I saw you flirting with Jinsol.”

“It was a joke, Haseul.”

“If you girls are going to do nothing but talk, you might as well go on your break, Haseul.” Her boss Amber’s voice sounds from behind her, and she turns to give the older girl a sheepish smile, but Amber just waves it off. She never really gets mad (except for that one time a kid named Chan spilled coffee all over the periodicals, but that’s different) so Haseul knows she isn’t in trouble. “Just get me a coffee from the café on your way back, yeah? I’m bar-coding all the new books for the semester and my head hurts.”

“Will do, thanks Amber,” Haseul says, giving her a boss a thumbs-up before she turns back to Sooyoung. “I’ll be right back. Let me clock out.”

It isn’t until she’s back on the floor without her badge that she realizes: she’s going to have to go to the café. The thought makes her freeze a bit, and Sooyoung eyes her suspiciously.

“You good there, dude?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, just remembered something.”

“Okay cool. Let’s go because I want a coffee too.” She shifts her backpack on her shoulder as she turns away, oblivious to Haseul’s inner struggle. After a moment of psyching herself up, she swallows and catches up to her best friend, shoving her hands into her pockets and hoping that Kahei wasn’t working today.

Unfortunately, pale pink hair can be seen from behind the counter as soon as they walk in, and Haseul feels her stomach flip. She’s here today. Of course she is. Kahei works just as much as Haseul, and they seem to have the same schedule. Haseul has seen her there a hundred times, from passing to get to work, or coming in to grab Amber and herself some coffee. But somehow the butterflies never go away, and she can feel herself getting nervous as Sooyoung leads her up to the counter.

“Hello, what can I get started for you guys?” Kahei’s voice is soft as ever, barely audible over the music playing from behind the counter, and Haseul’s heart jumps.

“I’m going to have a caramel macchiato, please. Put as many shots in as you can, I have to study soon.” Sooyoung gives Kahei one of her playful smiles, and Kahei laughs.

“I get that, good luck with your studies.”

“Thank you! Good luck with yours too.” Sooyoung is smooth, even without realizing it, so it isn’t a surprise that Kahei likes her right away. Haseul still feels a pang of jealousy at how easy the two talk.

“And for you?” That soft voice is directed her way and she feels her throat close up a bit, making her stutter for a moment.

“O-oh, um, just a cold brew, please.”

“Of course. Do you want your usual vanilla sweetener added?” Her eyes widen. Kahei has her order memorized?

“Yes, please.”

“And is Amber getting anything today?” Oh, yeah. Amber is here much more often than Haseul, since she usually does the coffee runs. She’s probably mentioned her a few times in passing.

“I’ll be back to get hers before my shift ends, if that’s okay.” She’s proud that she doesn’t stutter again, even if her mouth does feel a little dry.

“That’s okay! I’ll have your drinks ready in a moment.” As Kahei processes the payment and steps away from the counter, Haseul can feel Sooyoung’s eyes drilling holes into the side of her head.

“What was that?” She whispers when the other girl walks over. Haseul tries to act innocent.

“What was what?”

“Jo Haseul? Getting nervous? Stuttering? Who are you? Your face is even pink!”

Groaning, she shoves her friend and rolls her eyes. “Shut up, she might hear you.” That isn’t the right thing for her to say, because Sooyoung’s eyes light up and she looks from Kahei behind the counter to Haseul and then back again, before letting out a low and somehow quiet whistle.

“Wow. So that’s why you were talking about flirting earlier.”

Haseul elbows her as Kahei walks up to the counter, two drinks in hand. “Shut up.”

“Here’s your drinks, girls! I’ll see you again soon!” She gives them a little wave after they take their drinks, and belatedly, Haseul waves back, making Sooyoung snort out a laugh as they walk to a corner table far from the counter.

“I can’t believe what I just saw. This is so good. Wait until the rest of the girls hear about this.”

“I swear to god, Sooyoung, don’t you dare,” Haseul says, but she knows it’s already too late.

“Kahei’s cute. You have good taste. And she was looking at you a lot over her shoulder.”

“You don’t have to pity me,” Haseul mutters, taking a sip of her drink. This is why she never goes on break with her friends. There’s always consequences. “I’m too shy to really talk to her, like, outside of ordering and everything. She’s just too pretty.”

“I have literally never known you to be shy. This is crazy.”

“Surprise? I get shy around people I really like.”

“So you don’t actually like me?” Sooyoung’s voice is playful, but Haseul rolls her eyes again anyway.

“Romantically, dummy.”

“I was trying to make a joke, mom.”

“Whatever. I just. Haven’t had any experience with love or flirting recently and she makes me so nervous I think I’d mess up even if I tried.”

“You should try anyway. She might think it’s cute.”

“I’d rather not embarrass myself like that.” Haseul glances back at the counter, where the girl of her dreams is cleaning the coffee machine. The pink in her hair is fading back to a brown color, but she still looks gorgeous. Especially with her lips pursed in concentration as she scrubs at what must be a stubborn stain. How does she look so good in a polo shirt?

“Staring at her from afar is creepy,” Sooyoung says, kicking Haseul under the table. The younger girl whips her head around to glare at her best friend.

“You know what? I decided not to help you with your essay this weekend after all. Have fun with that.”

“What? No, Haseullie! Please! I can’t do it without you!”

Eventually, her break is almost over, and she steadies herself as she walks back up to the counter, giving Kahei a nervous smile. “I’m back for more.”

“Already?” She lets out a little giggle, and it’s like music to Haseul’s ears. So soft, yet melodic somehow. “Amber’s usual, I assume?” Haseul just nods, suddenly speechless as she watches Kahei key in the drink with those pretty fingers of hers. She’s wearing a new pink ring that Haseul has never seen before, and Haseul has never been the biggest fan of wearing jewelry at work herself (it gets in the way, okay) but it looks cute on her. “Will that be all?”

“Um, yeah, that’s all. Thanks, Kahei.” Maybe it’s just her imagination, but the older girl seems to perk up at the mention of her name.

“You’re welcome, I’ll have that drink up in no time, Haseul!”

Haseul returns to the desk with a slight flush to her cheeks, dropping the coffee off in front of Amber before rushing off to grab her badge, and Sooyoung leans against the counter, watching her go. “She’s so whipped for the girl in the café. It’s funny how red she got when the girl remembered her name.”

“I know, right? I’m trying to set them up right now, but neither of them will make a move,” Amber says, shaking her head with a little laugh. “It’s kind of cute, right?”

Sooyoung grins and holds out her fist to fist-bump the older girl. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”

As Haseul returns to the desk to see her best friend and boss grinning at each other, conspiracy written all over their faces, she sighs and buries her face in her hands, making a mental note to never trust either of them with anything again.

“Haseul likes the library café barista,” Sooyoung says as soon as she sits down at their usual study table, and Haseul resists the urge to throw something, because Haseul is a full-grown adult (and she doesn’t want to lose her job for throwing things in the library). At her revelation, the entire table lights up, and Haseul wonders if the kids would respect her if she was actually their mom.

“Wait, which one? The one with the pink hair?” Yeojin asks, leaning forward with wide eyes. “She’s an exchange student from China, right?”

Haseul raises her eyebrows, turning to look at the baby of the group. “She is?” She’s met with a look of disbelief.

“You have a crush on her and you didn’t know that?”

“The poor thing can hardly talk to her guys,” Sooyoung reveals, grinning like she’s just won the lottery. “You should have seen her. She stuttered, like, the whole time, and even blushed when Kahei called her by name. It was great.” Yerim lets out a little squeal, and Haseul immediately shushes her on instinct. They aren’t in the silent area, but still. It’s the library.

“I’m glad you all find my suffering amusing,” she says, shaking her head and going back to her laptop.

“Wait, you really like her?” Jiwoo asks, looking all too excited. “That’s so cute!”

“This is total romcom material,” Jungeun points out, looking up from her laptop and pushing her glasses back. “Mind if I steal your romance and turn it into a story?”

“There isn’t any romance, guys.” Haseul shakes her head. “Seriously, I just have a little crush.”

“It’s more than little,” Sooyoung says, and Jiwoo (bless her) reaches over to place her hand on Haseul’s shoulder.

“If you like her, I think you should do something about it. I’ll even help! We can all help!” Jiwoo’s suggestion makes Hyunjin and Hyejoo groan, and the rest of the group nod.

“Yeah, that would be fun!” Yeojin is bouncing in her seat as she speaks, and Haseul has flashbacks to the last time her friends tried to “help” with her love life.

“No. Absolutely not. I’m happy being a single mom.”

“You aren’t even a mom!”

“Moms deserve to be happy too!”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind that you already have ten kids.”

“We won’t blow anything up this time, because it’s a library, not a biology classroom.” Yerim says it like it’s comforting or something, and Haseul once again has a flashback to poor Saerom blinking at her in confusion, both of their clothes drenched in some unknown pink substance and their hair standing on end from the blast that had sent both of them reeling towards the emergency showers. Thankfully, nothing got in their eyes and Saerom is still her friend despite the most botched confession in history, but the memory still stands stark in her mind.

“Dating isn’t a bad thing.” Sooyoung wraps her arm around Jiwoo’s shoulders and leans into her. “Seriously, I would highly recommend it.” The rest of the girls (other than Yeojin and Yerim) look at each other and nod. With a sigh, Haseul runs her fingers through her hair and closes her eyes. Kahei’s smile dances behind her eyelids, and she knows that the kids are right.

“I’m terrible at flirting, though. What if I make it uncomfortable?”

“I’ll teach you how to flirt,” Sooyoung offers.

“Also, I know someone who works at the café too. I can have her ask about you,” Heejin says, “her name is Mimi, you might have seen her?”

Sooyoung chuckles and shakes her head. “Trust me, the only person Haseul’s paying attention to in there is Kahei.” Haseul isn’t going to admit it, but it’s true. She can barely remember the faces of the other girls working there.

“I think I remember her,” she lies, “but isn’t that a little bit embarrassing?”

“I could always just tell her to ask if Kahei likes anyone. Apparently they’re pretty close.”

It isn’t her favorite idea, but Haseul doesn’t have any others, so she sighs, giving in to the girls. “Fine. Have Mimi ask Kahei.”

Sooyoung grins, celebrating her victory with a fist pump. “There you go! Now we just have flirting class to get to!”

“Mom’s getting a girlfriend,” Chaewon sings softly, and Haseul lets her head fall onto the table, wondering if being concussed will help her feel less embarrassed by her friends. It doesn’t help, because Heejin and Hyunjin join in with Chaewon, and Yeojin hums a dramatic, made up tune as Yerim giggles in the background, and all Haseul can do is hope that this doesn’t end like last time.

Just like she has so many times before, Haseul catches herself watching Kahei work through the café window. Every time, she tells herself that it isn’t creepy, because her eyes just move on their own. Even when she’s helping students or organizing books, as long as she’s on the first floor, she’ll catch her eyes wandering back to the familiar pink hair. Today, though, there isn’t much for her to do, so Haseul settles on watching the other girl work through the window.

Kahei moves and works smoothly, always with a smile on her lips as her fingers hover over the register or her skilled hands put together sandwiches or coffees of all types. Haseul has never seen her flustered, either, no matter how busy it gets, she never seemed to be phased. Even on the days when Haseul goes in after a big rush, Kahei seems just as beautiful and calm as ever, not a single hair out of place. It’s a skill that Haseul envies.

As she watches, a tall girl walks up to the register and earns a bright smile from Kahei as the barista reaches across to fix the girl’s bangs. The girl seems young, like she’s hardly a freshman, but Kahei seems to know her well, and it makes Haseul’s heart pang as she watches the two talk. The girl is a better fit for Kahei anyway. They’re both beautiful in that angelic type of way that Haseul strove for in high school, only to give up on once she reached college. The girl is probably an angel on earth, and Haseul is, well, a mom, and a librarian with thick-rimmed glasses and a bob haircut because it’s easier to take care of with her busy schedule. The girl blows Kahei a kiss, and Haseul watches the girl of her dreams giggle and shake her head as she turns around to make a drink.

She begins biting at her bottom lip, lost in thought as she watches Kahei go through the now-familiar process of making a latte. Do pretty girls like Kahei even date girls like her?

“Hey, Haseul?” A familiar voice breaks her out of her thoughts and she turns around to see Jinsol standing there with a stack of books in her arms. “Can you check these out for me?”

“Oh, sure!” Haseul hopes her lips aren’t too chapped as she takes the books from the younger girl’s arms and places them down on the desk, quickly logging in to the system.

“Slow day?” Jinsol asks, looking around as she fishes through her backpack for her student ID.

“Yeah, pretty slow. Midterms are mostly over.”

“I wish. My poetry professor is so behind that we’re only just starting our midterm essay.”

“That explains all the books on Gertrude Stein,” Haseul says, raising her eyebrows as she slips the receipt into the top book and hands the stack back to her friend. “Good luck with that.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” Jinsol’s eyes dart over to the café and she clears her throat. “Um, I saw you looking when I came up and I just want to say that you should follow your heart. I was really nervous to ask Jungeun out because she seemed so cool and calculated but it turned out that she was just too nervous to talk to me. It really paid off for me, you know?”

Haseul smiles at her. “I know. I’m the one who encouraged you to confess, remember?”

“Oh. Yeah. But I’m just saying that if you really like her you should let her know. Or something. Sorry, my brain is kind of dead right now.” She picks up her books and sends Haseul a grin. “Thanks for everything, mom.”

“No problem,” Haseul replies, waving as she walks away despite her slight confusion at the other girl’s words. Is she really that obvious?

Her eyes move back to the café, and she notices that the tall girl has gone, leaving Kahei alone once again behind the counter. For a moment, Haseul thinks their eyes might meet, as the older girl turns around and glances through the glass. But it’s too far away to tell, and she turns back around almost immediately, leaving Haseul watching the back of her head again.

“You know, you could just go and talk to her,” Amber says from behind her, making her jump and spin around, putting her hand on her chest.

“Boss! Don’t scare me like that!”

“Sorry,” Amber says, but she’s grinning like she doesn’t mean it. “But I mean what I said. You should go in there, you’ve been staring all day.”

“Am I that obvious?” Haseul says it out loud this time, and Amber nods.

“To anyone who knows you? Yes. You get this dreamy look on your face. It’s cute, actually.”

Haseul can feel her face getting red as she looks down at her desk. “That’s gross.” Her voice wavers a bit, and Amber reaches over to put her hand on her head, messing up her hair in the process and making her whine.

“You shouldn’t deny your feelings, dude. You know, my girlfriend is a singer.”

“Wait, really?” Suddenly intrigued, Haseul forgets her red face and looks up at her boss.

“Really. Have you heard of Luna?”

“Of course I’ve heard of Luna. She’s the most famous graduate from this school. She’s gone on to have tons of hit singles.” Haseul squints at the older girl and sits down on the stool behind the desk, crossing her arms. “You’re telling me that you’re dating her? How?”

“My charm and good looks,” Amber says, making Haseul laugh as she pulls out her phone and hands it over. Sure enough, the lockscreen photo is of her and Luna, with Luna kissing her on the cheek. “I thought she was so out of my league, because I was a research major. But I was also on the basketball team, and turns out, she used to come to all of my games. One day after a good game I looked up and she was right there and I just had to shoot my shot. I was all gross and sweaty but I asked her on a date and she said yes. And the rest is history.”

Haseul stares down at the photo on the screen as Amber talks, feeling something turn in her chest. They both look so happy together, and it makes Haseul realize that she wants that: she wants to take cute photos with Kahei and kiss her cheek and laugh about stupid things with her. Her feelings for Kahei go further than a crush now, and her hand shakes slightly at the revelation as she hands Amber her phone.

“You two are really cute,” she says, like her entire world didn’t just shift.

“Thank you! What I’m saying is that you should shoot your shot no matter how out of your league you think Kahei is. You’ll regret it later if you don’t, take it from your old boss.”

“You aren’t old.” Haseul feels a bit dizzy as she glances back towards the café and spots Kahei’s familiar pink hair. “Don’t say that.”

“Just think about what I said, okay?”

Haseul is pretty sure she won’t be able to stop thinking about it now, but she just nods, trying to ignore the way her heart picks up in her chest. “Okay.”

As it turns out, Haseul doesn’t have to think about Amber’s words for long, because the next day, she looks up to see a familiar girl standing at the desk. She fumbles with the books in her hands, mouth going dry as she tries not to make a fool of herself.

“Kahei! H-hey, what brings you over to our side of the library?” She asks, carefully putting down the books and smiling her best smile as she walks over to the desk. It’s hard not to get distracted by the sparkle in Kahei’s eyes, but she notices that the girl isn’t in her uniform today, and that she has her backpack perched on her shoulders.

“Haseul, hey! I actually needed your help with an essay, if that’s okay?”

Haseul blinks. Kahei is asking her for help, and she can help, because it’s her job. She just needs to get her heart to stop doing back-flips first. “That’s what I’m here for. What do you need help with?”

Kahei beams at her and puts her notebook on the desk, quickly flipping through it. “I just need help finding the right sources. I’m still a bit rusty at writing in another language, you know?”

A pang shoots through Haseul’s chest at her words, and she bites her lip, resolving to put away her own nervousness and help her any way she could. “Let’s get to work, then. I’ll help you write the best possible essay.” She’s still nervous, of course, but Kahei’s bright smile helps sooth all the thoughts running through her brain and makes it so, so worth it.

Kahei is easy to like, especially because she seems to have a lot in common with Haseul. She talks soft and has a sweet laugh and covers her mouth to make sure she isn’t too loud for the library, but she’s also serious about her schoolwork, listening closely to everything Haseul says while she nods her head in understanding. She isn’t afraid to ask questions if she has an idea or needs clarification, and Haseul likes that. It’s obvious that she’s a good student, and her quiet dedication makes the process seem to fly by. When Haseul checks her watch, she realizes that they’ve already been at this for more than an hour, but she’s not tired like she’d usually be. Talking to Kahei has been... fun.

“Can I ask you a question?” Kahei asks from over her laptop, and Haseul turns to look at the girl beside her, nodding her head. “Why did you become a librarian?” Her question makes Haseul stop and think. Why did she become a librarian?

“Well, I’ve always loved books and helping people, and I was already doing tutoring, so this just seemed like the next step.”

Kahei smiles, and Haseul feels her heart skip. “You’re a good librarian. Thanks so much for all your help.”

“It’s no problem.” She knows her face is flushed, but Haseul doesn’t look away this time. “I-I couldn’t do it without you supplying me with coffee, though.” The statement makes Kahei laugh, and a few other tables turn to look at them, but Haseul can’t bring herself to care right now.

“Anyone can make coffee, though.”

“I like yours the best.”

Kahei’s face flushes and she tucks her hair behind her ear, looking down at her laptop with a smile. “I’m glad to be able to help, then.”

Haseul’s heart goes crazy, but she tries not to show it, clearing her throat and looking down at one of the books on the table. “I’m glad to be able to help you too.”

Later, after Kahei has gone (turning to give Haseul a little wave and a smile that makes her feel a little faint before she goes) Haseul sits behind the desk, staring down at the pile of returned books underneath. Her thoughts are full of Kahei and her smile, and Amber’s words from the day before play in her head, mixing with Kahei’s laugh and her own doubts. A copy of The Scarlet Letter blinks up at her from inside the box, and she knows what its saying, even if she’s afraid to listen.

“Tell her, or you’ll regret it.”

#loona #viseul #vivi #haseul #femifics #loona fanfiction #loona fanfic #viseul fanfiction #girl group fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #girl groups #kpop girl groups #t:collegeau

42 notes · View notes

jonwongton · 5 years

Text

KCON LA 2019 Recap

Wow what an insane three days. My expectations were pretty low from KCON NY but I was really impressed by some of the events they had at the convention.

I'm just gonna use everyone's real names in this because it's too hard to remember everyone's handles.

Thursday, August 15th

After work, I went home, made dinner, packed up, and then went straight to the airport. The flight from San Jose to Burbank is literally an hour gate to gate (45 minutes of flight time lol) so it was a super short flight. The only pressing thing was that some of my discord buddies were doing karaoke in ktown so I really didn't want to miss out on that. My mvp sister came to the airport to pick up all my stuff and I ubered straight to the karaoke place to see everyone (I forgot to take pictures though :(). Jordan started me off with Rough and after they sang a ton of other girl group songs, I did Red Flavor and Energetic. We didn't want to go too hard before the convention even started so we all decided to meet at the convention before noon. The izone fanclub meeting was at noon and the fromis_9 fanclub meeting was at three, so I definitely wanted to go to both (all six moderators for the two fanclub meets are in the group I went with).

Friday, August 16th

I woke up at like 9 and I went with Cyn to go get Trieu Chau noodles, which tasted even better than I remember.

Everyone wanted to get lunch in between the fanclub meetings but I don't trust eating in big groups and I'm pretty good at not eating for long periods of time in case anything happens.

I got to the convention at around noon, but it took me around half an hour to check-in because my dumb ass was so lost. I'm super glad the lady that gave me my wristband let me tighten it myself just so I could take it off freely between the three days. I also went to the merchandise pick-up and got my two fromis_9 slogans and a loona slogan. I ran over to the izone fanclub meeting right after.

There were a ton wizones there and they played three rounds of games through kahoot guessing these random ass facts I don't even think a hardcore wizone would know. We then did the Violetta and La Via En Rose fanchants and it ended there. After that I walked out with Nick and Danny and we went to the mob so they could try buying their izone and itzy hi-touches.

So the mob in LA was batshit insane and the hi-touches were marked up SOOO much higher than I ever would have guessed. An A1 pack is $170 and it comes with one hi-touch, two audiences, and a red carpet pass (ignore the red carpet pass I don't think anyone cares about that). Stray Kids/Ateez hi-touches were easily going for $300, and I heard someone got really desperate and dropped $700 for her Ateez hi-touch. Out of the nine hi-touches that happened (should have been ten but rip Chung Ha) my feel for the prices went something along the lines of (+ their average price from what I saw)

Stray Kids ($350) > Ateez ($300) >> Izone ($200) >>> Itzy ($150) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> SF9/Mamamoo ($100) >>>>>>>> Momoland ($75) >>>>> N.Flying ($50) >>>>>>>>>>> Verivery ($40)

Yeah people are insane. And with the audiences I'm pretty sure you have a solid 7/9 chance to make a huge profit. If you posted in the Facebook group and did the "dm me your best offer" I'm pretty sure you'd be able to sell your Stray Kids hi-touch for $600+. People were even buying Stray kids audiences for $100 like are you serious...

The supply and demand was also super polarized. We waited for almost an hour and not even a single person had an itzy/izone hi-touch for sale, yet there were probably at least 10 people willing to drop a nontrivial amount of money for anyone that came up. If you're willing to pay this much money to touch a few groups, diamond doesn't sound that bad anymore (all-access hi-touch, plat only gets 2).

I stood around and talked until like 2:30 until making my way to the fromis_9 fanclub meet. I think loona was at star square at the time so the turn out was even smaller than New York imo.

(decorating the stage with my signs)

We played two kahoot games and I actually won the guess the song after only hearing one second of it. There were nine questions and I legitimately knew seven of them, but they used the same questions in New York so I knew the last two were Youth (Hayoung's cover)/From Now (Jiwon's and Nakyung's OST song). That won me a medium size KCON LA 2019 shirt, but that was just a consolation prize. fromis_9 hadn't even left Korea yet so there's no way we could get signed merch. We then did the Love Bomb/Fun/Love Rum Pum Pum fanchants. I didn't go that hard on Love Bomb, but MVP Danny helped me hold my phone so I went full blast on Fun and Love RumPumPum. Ngl the Love RumPumPum fanchant was literally impossible unless you already knew it because the timings are so strange and no one can actually read romanized Korean fast enough (the subs didn't have the hangul). I'm kinda the fanchant guy so I really wanted to drop all that Korean practice at this opportunity.

After the fanclub meet, I finally got a chance to walk around the convention. This was my first KCON LA, but I heard in previous rooms they only got half the expo hall but this year they got the whole thing. Everything was spaced out pretty well and there was a ton more to do than in NY.

I walked around for a bit, took some pictures, and then sat on a bench to hang out with Danny for like an hour since all the others went to go line up for KCON Rookies (there had to have been at least 1.5k people waiting).

(that’s half the line)

All memes aside, it's nice to actually get to know some of the back stories behind some other friends. Danny and I realized we both ulted GFriend and fromis_9 and how willing we are to just throw money at both groups lol. I gave the extra fromis_9 slogan towel I ordered to my new friend and he left for Rookies since he was plat and had priority entrance. I made one more lap around the convention, said hi to an old friend, and then called an Uber to get dinner with my sister and two college friends.

It was a pretty fancy Japanese dinner that was definitely not worth it, but we got Salt and Straw after and that was awesome.

We walked back to the apartment of two other people that joined us, and I left for Dan Sung Sa to meet up with the rest of the group after Rookies. I finally got to see my buddy Alex (he got diamond so he was busy milking the perks the whole day), ate some good food, and I drank a bit more than I should have.

After dinner #2, I ubered back to Cyn's and planned to wake up fairly early to go to LAX.

Saturday August 17th

fromis_9 took off on their flight from Incheon at around 8pm our time, so they would be landing at around 10am PDT. The izone artist engagement happened to be at around the same time (11am, a ton of people in the group at hard core wizones), so only a few of us decided to go to LAX. I took an Uber to the airbnb and then we all went to LAX together. We also heard Stray Kids, Mamamoo, and Verivery were on the same flight, so we'd coincidentally get to see a ton of idols. At the airport, I met some fans from other discord servers and we just sat around waiting for them to come out of the special exit.

A lot of the group went on Thursday to greet loona/izone at the airport, but a ton of them didn't even get to see them because they were waiting at the wrong exit. I kinda piggy-backed off their experience and made sure I was sitting at the right one.

After standing around for quite a bit, everyone formed two huge lines waiting to greet them. I wanted to stick out my hand for them to touch, hold up my Jiheon sign, and try recording it at the same time, but I only have two hands. I ended up placing my phone in front of the Jiheon sign and keeping my right hand free. They walked out super fast, but Jiheon pointed at me and laughed at my sign. It really only lasted 10 seconds, and I felt pretty mission-accomplished knowing Jiheon saw my sign at least once. Jiwon lead the line and I keep forgetting how smol she is. (I’ll post the video I got eventually).

The next artist that came out was Stray Kids, and they were super nice and waved at us. All hell broke loose When Mamamoo came out like I'm genuinely surprised the fans there were that crazy. First of all, they are SOOOOOOOOOOO short. I've seen pictures of Mamamoo standing next to GFriend and while they all tease Eunha for being 5'4", she's still taller then Solar/Moonbyul/Hwasa. The fans chased after the van and started screaming Mamamoo for a few minutes before dispersing. At this point, most people left, but out of no where, N.Flying also exited the airport. Ngl, I thought it was gonna be Verivery but when I only saw four members I made the connection. I was looking at the footage I recorded of fromis_9 that I couldn't record N.Flying coming out fast enough. There was nothing left to do so my group just ubered back to the LA Convention Center. Tbh at this point, this trip was already better than all of KCON NY minus what happened at Washington Square Park because I already got to see fromis_9 in person. They made 0 appearances at the NY convention and the day I went to the airport, they weren't even flying out so at this point, the trip was already worth it.

It was around 12:30pm when we got to the convention, and I was with all three fromis_9 fanclub moderators, so they got to go through the staff entrance while I wanted in the pleb line. Once I made it into the convention center, I rushed over to the KCON beauty station where loona was having a meet and greet (started at 12:40pm). There were SO many people and even on my tiptoes I could only catch the top half of the screen, though if I held my phone up I could record what was happening.

A few people moved out of the way and I could kinda see Haseul's and Choerry's faces but there were so many orbits. I couldn't really hear what they were saying, but every time Chuu said something, the orbits there were roaring (she is undisputedly the most popular member among the crowd). They ended up just talking about some beauty tips and how they do their makeup, so I kinda knew what to expect when fromis_9 were coming tomorrow.

The meet and greet ended on time around 1:10pm, and at this point, I was starving since I hadn't eaten the whole day. We were gonna go to the food trucks to get food but we got the inside scoop that izone was going to be making an appearance at the Olive Young booth. A huge wall of people were already forming, but I decided to wait on the left wing where there were still cameras but much fewer people. I ended up recording the entire segment. We were trying to not be obnoxious yelling their names when they were doing something, but the entire crowd would call a member in unison until they did a little dance for us. Chaeyeon really won my heart with her fan service and Yujin gave us a ton of attention too. The cameraman there actually told us to cheer for them louder so he could record us LOL.

It was around 2pm now, so we waited around for more people to gather and we all headed to the food trucks. The street food they had was obviously overpriced but pretty good compared to the normal food they'd have in the convention center.

There was nothing interesting left on the schedule for me, so I just walked around the convention center looking for something to do. I heard some screaming around the KCON stage, so I sprinted over and caught N.Flying's appearance. They were presenting the winner of some Cover Star K award, but the more interesting part is that they sang a snippet of Rooftop for us.

Kyla tweeted that she'd be at the convention center, so a group of us walked around to places we thought she'd be at, but we didn't end up finding her. I walked back into the convention center and saw another mob at the Star Square, and it turns out N.Flying was reading off horoscopes and taking pictures with the fans that won their meet and greet.

After that, I stood with James in the middle of the convention, and literally just so happened to bump into a group of maybe 30 people trying to meet up with Kyla (they nominated one person to DM Kyla on twitter). I followed this group around and we ended up moving to three different places until we found a spot that was fairly empty. I had a feeling Kyla was coming soon, and I made sure James and I were standing closest to the entrance. Kyla appeared with some other friends and when we formed a line get a picture with her, James and I were in front lol (I went second). She recorded a video message to a fan's friend that couldn't be there, and I told her she was amazing and such an inspirational figure in the kpop community. I got a hug and a picture with her.

It was like 5pm now, so I broke off from everyone and sat at a table to drink some water, recharge, and plan out my schedule for the rest of the day and for tomorrow. At around 6pm, I walked over to my friend's hotel a block away from the Staples Center, and we sat around just hanging out before the concert. Nick showed me his izone lightsticks (yes multiple, apparently wizones customize a lightstick for each member) and Brian showed me his entire kpop photocard set (there were so many holy shit). Since we were all seated tonight, we just left the hotel at around 7:15pm and got in around 7:30pm for the preshow. The free ticket I got was part of a set of three, so the two people I was sitting with were also friends of the person I knew.

The view I got was also amazing, I'm surprised at how good P2 was (I would have taken this over P1 because P1 is kinda lower than I'd like). I'm not really invested into AB6IX, Ateez, or SF9, but when Loona came out I lost my shit oh my god they were amazing. AND I FINALLY GOT TO SEE LOVE PAINT LIVE. One of my favorite songs of all time performed by OT5. I was kinda sad Nu'est did real love true love instead of look because look is my #2 song by them, but I guess they couldn't repeat the set list from NY.

After the concert, we split up into Ubers and went to BCD, which had a ridiculous wait because we were definitely not the only ones going after the concert. Everyone was starving and tired, but I'm pretty sure izone and loona knocked us all off our feet.

We planned to line up for P1 GA at around 8am and all parted ways. I was already super tired at this point, but Saturday was supposed to be the easy day compared to Sunday when fromis_9 would be appearing

Saturday August 17th

I got up around 7:30am and ubered back to the convention center, though I was late as hell and had sprint to join my friends standing in line. Actually I was so late that I had to make up some excuse of going to the bathroom and returning to my "spot in line". I got 596, but my friends that did GA yesterday said they had 400 and still got an amazing view.

I wasn't too worried about it since I wasn't going to camp out overnight and I had buddies that knew what they were doing. It was around 9:45am, so David gave me his convention pass so I could get staff entry into the convention (he was going back to his airbnb to grab some stuff).

We had enough passes to go around so I think five of us entered the convention early and went to the KCON message board to write some nice things. I wrote something super similar to what I did in NY, and then wrote something for GFriend somewhere else.

(shoutout to Anh for spelling Gyuri’s name wrong)

While I was finishing up my message for GFriend, I saw people sprinting into the convention center and Jordan started screaming my name to come over. I followed my instinct and sprinted towards him, and we got front row seats at the KCON beauty station. There were around 20 other people sprinting too, and I was actually pushed to the side by two girls that got there first. I had no idea people would come three and a half hours for fromis_9, but I think it's because people figured out how to do it with Loona. I befriended the two girls next to me since we'd be stuck together for a while, and I realized they were angels.

I even got to push down other people's stuff so I could make room for Danny and Alex to sit front row with my group since they were plat/dia but didn't get early convention access. At around 11:30am, I left with Stephen to go get food, and I really got to know his back story too. It was mainly just sitting around until 1:30pm when fromis_9 would make their appearance. During our wait, we all signed Alex's sign which he was going to try and hand off to a member during the concert.

To fromis_9,

Thank you so much for coming to KCON LA 2019. Starting from last year until now, listening to fromis_9′s songs or watching your videos have given me a lot of strength. That motivated me to teach myself a new language and inspired me to always be a better person than I was yesterday. I’ll always cheer you on and love you. Shall we be together until the very end? Fighting!

- American Flover Jonathan

1:30pm eventually came around and fromis_9 made their appearance. I recorded the entire segment here, front row and dead center :). I was shaking before they came out, but if I hadn't seen them as close as I did in Washington Square Park, I think I would have been shaking even more. Saerom walked out and waved at me, Jiheon walked out, saw my sign, gave me the same reaction as she did at the airport (lol), and I was able to get waves from all the other members (Nakyung, Jiwon, Jisun, Gyuri, and Chaeyoung for sure). Throughout their entire appearance, we were calling them by their nicknames during their downtime, flashing hearts at them, smiling, and these nine angels did the same back to us. At the end of the performance, I jumped out of my seat seeing if I could hi-five them, but Nakyung waved at me, Saerom waved at me, I asked Hayoung if she remembered me from New York (she did!), and told Gyuri she was beautiful for Ice (and for me because she's gorgeous). Honestly, the convention could have ended there, but we still had a concert to go afterwards. It was around 2pm and people wanted to go get food, but we heard Mamamoo was going to make an appearance at 2:50pm so we stood around waiting for 50 minutes. They showed up, I once again confirmed they were super short and everyone left to go get something to eat. I already ate earlier and had no plans of eating for the concert, so I actually broke off from the group to go to a panel.

I was definitely chasing idols this weekend but there were some panels I was interested in. The one I wanted to go to at 3:30pm was the "how to study/work in Korea", so I recharged by myself for around 30 minutes and went there.

I asked the presenter a ton of questions (she was super nice), and then left a bit early to join a few others at the Verivery fanclub meeting (we had nothing else to do).

I tried meeting up with the guy which I reserved a banner from, but I couldn't find him around the convention anywhere. It was around 5pm, so I left the convention once and for all and went back to my friend's hotel to wait until the GA concert queue up at 6pm. At this point, I was tired as hell and somewhat scared my phone battery was gonna die because I was at 44% (I used 20% to record the 25 min fromis_9 appearance). Luckily he had a charger so I got up to 55%. We just chatted about how excited for the concert we were and where we were gonna sprint to.

At 5:50pm, we left to the GA entrance and tried cutting in line, but got caught because some girl snitched on us lol. The first security guard told us "we should go to the right place in line" but just left, but then his supervisor was the actual person that kicked us out. We had to go through security and get three additional wristbands before we could actually start sprinting toward the stage. The 10/10 spot we wanted was taken, but I was really happy with the final spot we got because any closer and I wouldn't be able to see over the stage.

The concert was absolutely amazing. I was familiar with every group that was performing so there was almost no song where I wasn't super hype. Miroh lived up to the hype and I think the entire stadium was shaking and yelled stray kids together. I did the entire Fun! and Love RumPumPum fanchants so loud people in the pit pushed my forward to the barricade and the guy next to me offered to hold my camera so I could finish off Love Bomb (my recording). Seventeen was also insane, we got Good To Me (I don't think non carats knew the song that well but I lost my shit because I loved it way more than Home), Adore U, Clap, and the infamous Aju Nice (which was insane). I think the third encore was a little unnecessary, but we were all losing our shit because it was so fun.

During the encore stage, I was waving my Jiheon sign, and Chaeyoung walked over and saw it. She had to tap Megan for a solid 5 seconds before she also noticed but I was already super content because they had seen my signs three times (LAX, at beauty, and at the concert). Once we gathered together, we all jumped on Alex because Jiheon had taken the sign we all wrote messages on and then took a group picture.

We were all super shook outside, and I was kinda ready for my KCON experience to end here so even if they wanted to go out to eat, I was ready to Uber back to Cyn's and call it a night. I said my final good-byes to everyone (everyone got a super tight hug) and headed back.

---

I can’t believe I got to see fromis_9 twice in a year. I’ve been a pretty big fan of kpop since 2015, but I’ve never materialized this hobby until fromis_9 summoned me to KCON NY a month ago, and there was no way I wasn’t going to LA to see them again. I already had some regrets not going to LA last year and seeing how much fun they had in their behind the scenes videos, so I wanted a story of my own. So I guess my identity as a fan is really as a fromis_9/GFriend ult now, but I still refuse to pick a bias (I was probably asked like thirty times who my fromis_9/GFriend biases were this weekend...). They really are angels, and while it wasn’t perfect (no artist engagement, messed up some recording etc.), I’m still so happy I got to meet them.

On a side note, loona is amazing. They were so sweet in person, their performances were incredible, and that’s really a reminder that I need to go through the rest of their pre-debut tracks I haven’t listened to yet.

I also did some math and I’m pretty sure if you like the groups on both days, platinum is definitely worth it (diamond if your thing is touching all the artists, but it’s hard to get your full money’s worth giving how fast everything goes and how bad KCON is at announcing everything).

Platinum was 1121.48, and if the regular GA is 462.98, the convention ticket is 36, KCON rookies is 45, the random swag they give you is 50, and the hi-touches are around 141.50 on average (use the 9 numbers I quoted above with Chung Ha’s being $50), then that only leaves 294.50 on the cost of the ticket. That buys you a dedicated pit so you don’t have to camp out overnight, getting to cut all the AE/entrance lines, and getting into the convention early (probably more worth it for NY since it’s two days and stuff actually happens Saturday, getting in Friday for LA doesn’t matter much, but then you could just have the staff pass). To be honest, the peace of mind that buys already sounds worth it to me, so if the line up is good enough, I’d definitely go for plat if I could get my hands on it.

We also realized we had been spelling 플로버 and 프로버 the entire time (confused the spelling with 프로미 which doesn’t have the extra ㄹ). I realized what I wrote for fromis_9 in NY has a typo and I made the same typo in LA. I fixed it on the sign before Alex handed it off, but I take that as a humble reminder that I’m still a foreigner and need to study a lot harder. :’) All kpop memes aside, some people are here just to chase after idols, but in addition to being a fan, I’ve been trying to embrace a new culture and language along the way. I’m still working really hard on vocabulary right now, and I still have every intention to pass TOPIK 5 by next year.

I’m also so glad I went to KCON LA with a group. Going alone would have been a terrible idea because you’d have no inside scoop on what’s going on, no one to switch off spots with, and no one to hang out with during all the down time. I’m really thankful to how much the discord group helped me out this weekend. I’m sure we’ll meet again.

To close it off, here are some of my favorite pictures with the friends I went with

#kcon

2 notes · View notes

daedu · 6 years

Text

LOONA now taking over Super Junior’s catchphrase: we are “one”

youtube

Clickbaity title aside (I couldn’t help it, I’m sorry!), I truly do think that LOONA yyxy’s latest video does exactly what the title states and more.

My theory: the "one" in question is not any specific one of the girls but rather all of them, all of us, any of us.

Summary at the end, reasoning/timestamps below the cut. *Grimes voice* “Lettt's go~!”

Side notes (indented italics) are not central to the point but fun details that I couldn’t help but include. To view the relevant videos, just click on the big bold text!

So, at first glance, it may seem that out of the four in yyxy, the strongest contender for the One (& Only) is Gowon. Her song's name is part of it, but she's also represented in the yyxy logo as the X which joins the others' Ys. We see this based on their positioning at 3:02 in the "love4eva" MV. I could reach a little here and mention that X is often the "answer variable" in basic mathematics; so the answer, X, is in the middle of all these Y's (implying the question "why"). Again, it's kind of a reach, but I wouldn't put it past our dear BBC!

1: Yves, "new"

Yves may represent the "one" girl's curiosity and determination to reach the outside world—to find something "new," per se. As she imagines living as Yves, so forms the existence of the red apple. Yves!one learns of temptation, of the possibilities for freedom, self-discovery, etc. Henceforth, she's the one dropping that red apple all over the place. Thank the Lord it is symbolic, or else that's pretty unsanitary.

2: Chuu, "Heart Attack"

As "one" imagines the Yves persona, so distinct from her own reality, she becomes enchanted with the concept. That is the version of herself she most aspires to be like/with, and this "innocent love" which grows within her manifests through Chuu. However, Chuu!one must bite into the apple in order to be with/like Yves.

Side Note A, Part 1: Through Chuu!one's eyes, the red apple does not appear so dangerous; it's green instead of red. Perhaps she idealizes it as more simple and harmless than it is... or perhaps the apple itself loses some innocence as she bites into it. Both can be true at the same time. A sheltered girl's fantasy of the outside world may be very innocent, and when she actually steps out, both she and the fantasy (apple) lose a certain innocence. I really like BBC's take on this actually, in that the apple is not inherently sinful and the girl is not sinning for sin's sake; nothing is a sin until AFTER the fact, and that's kind of the tragedy.

3: Gowon, "One&Only"

Of course, we know Chuu!one bites the apple. This pivotal step is the story of Gowon: actually putting into action that which Yves conceptualized and Chuu idealized. Gowon!one is the center of the story because she bridges the fantasy of breaking out with the reality.

She's the one who undergoes that transformation from dark to light (in hair color and in spirit) and gains new perspective and purpose.

We even see it at 1:18 in the "One&Only" MV. She literally steps under a crown of light. Let there be light. Let her story begin. This chandelier crown alludes to so much; ideas à la lightbulb over her head, the dangling fruit that she sees but cannot reach, and of course the idea of being in charge—having agency, taking action, making actual decisions.

At 1:24 in "One&Only," we see how she is divided. She doesn't wear the crown yet, but she sees the possibility appearing before her every other time she looks at her shadow (i.e. when she searches herself). She seems conflicted about actually following through, though, which we also see in "love4eva" later on—she's the only one to look back at Eden and Olivia at 3:02. So, from 1:41-1:46, "one" runs from the two forces in her mind that are pushing her to make the choice, to do the deed. Perfectly illustrated at 1:49; one body, three shadows closing in.

At last, when Gowon!one makes her choice, she eats the forbidden fruit and there we go. Light. The seven dancers now dance on a lit platform. Gowon!one receives the crown (= agency, control over the story) from Yves; the mental pioneer who simply dreamed of new things steps down, and now the real "one" gets to explore instead of imagine.

Side Note A, Part 2: Interestingly, what Gowon eats is not the apple but a friggin *pine*apple, which I just love. Because the reality behind the fantasy—the actual forbidden fruit instead of the conceptualized—is different!

Side Note B, Part 1: I'm also not above suggesting that the seven dancing shadows in those horizontal dance scenes are specifically seven as reference to the seven cardinal virtues/sins—and how they're all just shades of the same singular being. Notice that the pre-crown dancing takes place in a narrow frame—literally a narrow frame of mind, for the narrow-minded!!! After the crown, we can actually see the dancer's faces, and the world, while still pretty black-and-white, definitely has more shades of grey in between.

4: Olivia Hye, "Egoist"

But Gowon!one looks back at Eden, and she sees a piece of herself still left behind. We never quite lose the perspectives we come from, and they are always a part of us no matter how far we go. In this case, that part is Olivia. The one who is scared/reluctant to make the choice that was ultimately made; who feels betrayed by the parts of herself that seek to break free; who is more hurt by the truth of the outside world once they're all out there; who ultimately has to come to terms with what has happened.

Side Note B, Part 2: Now, instead of the seven dancing shadows over a soft-colored background and the narrow frame—of mind—we have seven dancing shadows over an intense, red background with maximum aspect ratio. Brilliant detail, BBC. Absolutely brilliant.

Up to Gowon!one's choice, we see Olivia's role as that of the detractor. The one who feels uncomfortable with leaving Eden and who is ultimately shunned as the decision is made. I think we've all dealt with that on an internal level too; where a part of us wants to hold us back from some big decision. In rejecting the nay-sayer in us, we do undeniably reject a part of ourselves, at least in that moment. In this case, the other three girls represent the larger part of "one" who guide her out into the world, even if there is still a piece of her stuck in the past.

Of course, it's not a simple happy ending. In the story so far, our "one" and its three avatars were always chasing this outside source of light. (2:31 in "Egoist": "Our promises became the light.") As if it would provide all the answers and live up to all their imaginings (see: Chuu!one's happy fantasies of reaching Yves, the "new" stuff). The other videos weren't exactly all sunshine—even "Heart Attack" had its dark hallways going nowhere—but this is where we finally return to realistic scenery as seen in "new." Urban nights, ragged buildings, etc. However, where Yves' surroundings were still painted in a positive light, Olivia's are pretty heavy on the darkness. This is not the world she was promised. The pioneer (Yves), the dreamer (Chuu), and the learner (Gowon) are all behind her now; she has done the learning. Now, she has to do her own thinking about what she'd learned.

Thus, egoist. "One" must teach herself now the most important lesson: how to love herself—not just a part, but the whole self. Jinsoul even says at 2:01 in "Egoist": "You are me, now I'm you." These conflicting forces within you are all you, all part of one being. The sin and the sinner are in this together, you feel? "On&on, you and me, the endless cycle. We can't be separated." And, for as long as we are humans with flaws, internal conflicts, and the capacity to wonder and seek new things, this story of "one" will continue in all of us, ad infinitum.

So now, the choices are made. She has fallen and seen the light for her own eyes (0:53) as she found her way back up. Now, it is time to stop loving the light and love herself. In finding a new world, she found a new self—a new self that is undeniably still her. This is critical. The "one" who didn't want to leave Eden and the "one" who is forced to face that she did are both represented by Olivia, again to hammer in even as we change, we are us and we can find it in us to love ourselves. Especially in hardship, especially when the world turns on us. It is a lesson only we can teach ourselves.

5: LOONA yyxy, “love4eva” & Heejin, "ViViD"

Even if she is not part of yyxy, Heejin is the beginning and the end of the whole LOONA saga for good reason. After all that Olivia said about loving herself, why is it that she faces Heejin at the end?

Let's revisit "ViViD" real quick. In retrospect, the story of "ViViD" runs parallel to that of "love4eva" and then takes it a final step further past where Olivia's appears to end. "This world without any colors, it's boring. Would you change it with your fingertips? [...] I keep smiling all day, until my heart goes pounding." A decent summary of "new" and "Heart Attack" in just a few lines. We never even saw it coming.

As Heejin, "one" has seen the story of "love4eva" play out countless times and is now comfortable seeking out new things. Not just one thing at a time, as the four-step story of yyxy portrays, but over and over and over! "Color me whole, with many colors." How about twelve colors, Heejin? One for each month of the year, one for every new story that we embrace and make part of ours?

"I don't want to become numb to myself without the light." And so, the story of self discovery continues. There is always another light to follow, another future to believe in, another new self for us to learn to love. It is through these that life gains color (becoming "ViViD," as they say). So, take it as an invitation if you will, to accept the new things that will come with LOONA's continued exploration of unexplored territory and to welcome the color they bring to your life~!

youtube

Summary, as Promised

In the end, this is all the journey of one person. Again, any person. Any of us.

When faced with the unknown, we...

First, discover that there's more to be learned. Have faith

Then start wanting to learn more, even falling in love with the idea.

Now, we take the critical step of actually taking the reigns and doing the learning. If you believe enough in the future, it becomes hope.

Afterwards, we have retrospection, self-reflection, and possibly some anger, some sense of betrayal by what the truth really is (even wanting to return to our blissful ignorance) until at last, at last, we accept both the truth and ourselves.

Yay, we made it! Now, let's keep going and going~ until our world is filled with color!

You see the "[]" at the start of this video, where we usually see "[MV]" or "[Teaser]." This video is neither; it is just the story, however we wish to receive it. More importantly, it creates a space for those of us in orbit. We have a place in the story too, because the story is part of life at large.

Final Note: Life beyond LOONA's debut is going to be "new" and exciting enough to give us all "Heart Attacks" (hell, just the teasers got me like-), but it won't all go according to fantasy, and we should acknowledge that now. That doesn't mean we shouldn't go forth boldly, as Gowon ultimately did, but that does mean we will need to take a step back as Olivia did. To remember that before we give up, before we fling hate at other groups, before we do anything as fans of LOONA, we should remember who we love: ourselves and each others. It's cheesy as heck but so, so important. We are brought together by our love of LOONA, and we shouldn't lose sight of that. This community is only as healthy and supportive as we each resolve ourselves to be.

I am happy and proud to be part of the Orbit community, but whether you participate in fandom or not, I hope some of the positivity and pizazz that LOONA has brought to me can reach you as well. Have a lovely, lovely day~!

And now... *rewatches for the twelfth time*

10 notes · View notes