#i allow myself a singular cop show shut up

[crazy-walls]

Für trigger: 4, 21 & 47; 8 (and you're not allowed to say anything from "The Great Depression"! xD), 25, 39,45 & 50? 💕

ohhh so many :o thank u <3

4. What detail in [trigger] are you really proud of? - not really a singular detail but the small, somewhat "hidden "mundane" things throughout the story that come together by the end and make up the bigger picture - Skinny's comments in the beginning that Cotta only understands after Skinny blurts out his allegations, the plastic card Cotta finds and forgets about that leads to him figuring out that Skinny messed with him and the way Mike's death fits in, showing more connections and leading to another revelation. it was quite tricky to get everything in the right order to make sense but it feels very rewarding!

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in [trigger], what would it be? - ohhh good one! the first thing that came to mind is Skinny's waiting for the news of Calhoon's arrest and the fallout regarding the dirty cops - the hours ticking by, him getting more anxious because he knew this *could* happen but didn't really expect it, slowly turning incredulous, then furious but also even more anxious because he has a pretty good idea what they'll do to him if anyone finds out he was involved (and not knowing if Cotta will actually keep his mouth shut). that would be really interesting, but not something i wanted to focus on for the fic

47. If [trigger] was a pair of shoes, what kind would it be? Describe the shoes. - a pair of black boots you've owned for quite a while, on the cheaper side, and you've tried wearing them for long walks or on busy days but they're never quite as comfortable in the long run as you'd hoped so they are kinda scuffed and a bit dirty but get pushed back into a corner more often than actually being worn

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)? - oh oh oh! i have new answers! because recently there've been 3 songs i've been listening to a lot that are really great inspo for fic and i'd like to think about them a bit more (and hopefully write something eventually)! one is Venom by OLLIE, then there's Deep End by I Prevail (which is also great for editing, especially trigger!) and the third i'll keep to myself for now ^^

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write? - just answered :)

39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people? If so, who? - if we're talking about just process i'm pretty sure James Oswald also drinks lots of tea & curses at the computer, but that's a coincidence ^^

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic? - writing descriptions, definitely. since i'm a very visual person i've realised that just looking for a few pictures for inspiration helps massively, too, which makes writing them easier and more fun :)

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!: 23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to? - so there's been this idea for a priest!Bob/Skinny fic that's been coming back to me for quite a while and i'd really love to read that (write, well, maybe a little less than love) but i have like, four funny lines, a bunch of vibes and no setting or plot whatsoever for it so we'll see how that goes if i ever have time to write something new that'd take longer ^^"

fic writer ask game

[maxe-murderer]

forgot to post this but, happy pride, im far too attached to this show and may have a few headcannons

also 5b got them aro vibes

[internaljiujitsu]

You’re Not Lazy, You’re Just Human: 8 Steps To Forge Discipline

I’ve always felt lazy, though I never looked the part. I started lifting weights religiously when I was twelve years old — so long ago that I don’t remember what it’s like not to work out. When you’re fit, people make assumptions about you just like they do when you’re fat. Fit people are like walking billboards for discipline. We get asked all the time how we can skip dessert or go to the gym instead of playing video games and eating pizza. The truth is, plenty of gym rats plop their asses on the couch for some Grand Theft Auto after training, but in at least one area of their lives, they’ve built beneficial long term habits.

Fit people may be disciplined enough to get to the gym because they have a passion for exercise, get a “high” from working out or are just vain — That doesn’t mean they are disciplined people. It means they’ve forged discipline in one part of their life. That’s not the same as a disciplined life in which your practice is reflected in everything you do.

I began competing as a bodybuilder when I was fourteen years old. My training and eating habits were very strict, particularly before a contest. I lived in the world of 6000 calories and twice a day workouts for nine years, but I didn’t give a damn about my health. I just wanted to be as big and freakish looking as possible. I was disciplined about lifting heavy weights and consuming 300 grams of protein a day because I had a singular goal. The other parts of my life were chaotic. I partied like a rock star when I wasn’t training for a show, used recreational drugs and would balloon up to fifty pounds over contest weight in the off season. A disciplined person, I was not, though I was building my affinity for discipline with each can of dry tuna I forced down my throat.

When I was done with competitive bodybuilding, I attacked martial arts with the same dedication pumping iron taught me. The difference was that I was older and had gone through such an intense period of being driven by superficiality and carnal desires that I was hungry for a better way of living. As I learned lessons in martial arts, I consciously applied them to everything. The more proficient I became at fighting, the more at ease I operated in my life.

At my most passionate, I only wanted to go to the gym or dojo 75% of the time. The rest of the workouts I downright hated it. I did it anyway. Why?

I don’t care for having a “boss” because I don’t like doing things just because someone told me to. Instead, I make myself do things I don’t want to do because I think they’re important. They may not appear to be needle movers from the outside, but internally these personal challenges form the scaffolding that allow me to keep reaching higher.

Doing tough tasks because they help me grow started out as me trying to prove myself. What I didn’t realize then was that managing ADHD and depression necessitates that I keep myself constantly engaged. Now, discipline has become a way of consciously exercising control of my mind and body. Starting out on a regimented path doesn’t always come easily. There’s a period of misery that must be endured before you break yourself. But once properly trained, you can get yourself to do just about anything.

Here are the seven steps that help me build lasting habits and make me seem like a disciplined person:

KNOW THE WHAT AND THE WHY

First off, figure out what you want. What do you want to change and why do you want to change it? What are you getting out of this new habit you want to form? If the reason isn’t significant enough, you won’t stick to it. That’s a guarantee.

I’d been wanting to cut gluten for a while with no success. I loved bread and pizza but I knew cutting them out would help me get leaner and feel better. But that wasn’t enough motivation for me. When I noticed my skin was dry and breaking out, and cutting gluten might help, I made the decision to stop instantly. When research into brain health showed me the effects of inflammation due to gluten consumption, the change became permanent. My brain is just too important to me.

2. KNOW WHAT’S BEEN STOPPING YOU

This doesn’t mean pointing figures at some bullshit excuse like not having enough time or loving cupcakes too much to avoid diabetes. There’s a deeper reason you haven’t already gotten started on the road to a fitter body, better job or more fulfilling relationship. Maybe you don’t think you deserve a better life. Maybe you don’t wanna outshine someone you care about. Is this stuff you are consciously aware of? Probably not, so it will take some digging to figure it out, and maybe a little professional help. Before you can reprogram your mind into making your new habit stick, you’ve gotta subconsciously believe you’re worth it.

3. ONCE YOU DECIDE, STOP THINKING ABOUT IT

The time to deliberate is before you’ve decided. Once your mind is made up, that’s it. There’s no more discussion to be had. Shutting the door to any possible objection means there’s no haggling. You do what you gotta do, no questions asked. That means no “I’ll do it tomorrow,” or “just this once.”

The moment you begin entertaining excuses, you are vulnerable to give in.

4. MAKE IT THROUGH THE MUD

It’s gonna be terrible. Don’t be surprised and don’t act like it’s supposed to be some other way. Make the most of the lessons you learn while you’re down in the dirt.

The longer you do it, the easier it will get. Not that the actual thing becomes easier, but you think less of the misery before doing it. It’s just the way it is, and until you’ve learned to love it, you’re gonna hate it.

5. IGNORE THE QUITTING VOICE

During the hating it phase, you will be telling yourself to quit. You’ll say it’s not worth it and it won’t matter if you stop. It is and it does. Keep going or you will absolutely regret it.

6. IT’S OK TO ENJOY IT

Once you’ve done it enough times on the days you didn’t want to, you’ll start to occasionally look forward to the torture. You’ll wonder why you’re not dreading it anymore. Don’t question it. You’re changing. Just go with it.

7. WHEN YOU WANNA DO EXTRA, GO FOR IT

There are days you’re barely gonna squeak by. You’re gonna just finish. Then there will be days, once you’ve gone through what author Seth Godin calls, “The Dip,” that long valley of drudgery enroute to self improvement, that you’ll have plenty left in the tank in the end. Do more! Go until you have that, “ok, I’m done,” feeling. Take advantage of your high energy days because you won’t always have them.

A little extra practice here and there will go a long way, but always make sure to stop short of burn out. Leave yourself wanting more while confident you gave your all at your maximum attention level. You should definitely push until the wheels fall off once in a while, but for the most part stop once you start drifting. Too many torture sessions will make you hate the thought of practice. You probably won’t enjoy or retain what you do from that point on and your progress will suffer.

8. DON’T GO FOR THE SHORT TERM

See what you’re doing as a life change. No matter the habit you are building, discipline is cumulative. As you challenge yourself to do difficult shit, conquering or mastering something and leaving it behind does not mean momentum has to stop. Moving on to learn something new, whether related to the first thing or not, will prevent a lull in your creative thinking and keep you building on your progress. With each difficult endeavor you stick to, you build the skills and systems to conquer the challenges ahead.

Don’t label yourself as lazy. It’s a cop out. Everybody has the potential to sit on their ass and vegetate. Take this seven step approach to snapping yourself out of complacency and you’ll be on your way to real change — I know you’ve got it in you. Remember, disciplined people love lying on the couch just as much as slackers do, we just like progress a little bit more.

[brothermouzongaming]

Cyberpunk gameplay thots

Obviously, this is a vertical slice of the game, something where CDPR can show off how the game works while making sure nothing is stressed too hard or explored too deeply. That being said, sonofabitch what a way to present your game. I’m going to gloss over my favorite parts and things I noticed because honestly, a play by play won’t do it justice. Please go watch it.

MadWorld (or “City” in this case)

I don’t need the sprawling landscapes and varied vistas of The Witcher 3. CDPR did an incredible job making every acre feel lived in. The landscape of Night City allows them to hone the focus of detail on a singular city. The touch of every NPCs class or sect hanging over their heads is nice, but I look forward to turning that option off and just enjoying the crowded streets for what they are. Gorgeous. The level of detail presented was just staggering, I couldn’t look at one thing for too long or I’d miss something. The lighting is sharp and accentuates how the world sits between impoverished dirty and futuristic shine. Even the ‘natural’ lighting in the apartment gunfight really cuts through and actually is worth noticing when LEDs and neon lights are almost all we get down on street level. The rooms are very well detailed, looking lived in, the clutter is not just assets but seemingly hand-picked to a certain extent. Night City is somehow seedy and luxurious, something made clear with every area we visited in the demo. 

RPGesus Christ

I can only imagine this had to have somewhat silenced the “it’s gonna be a FPS, not an RPG” crowd. Everything from the guns, the gear, and even the biometrics to some degree (that humanity cost tho). It really looks like it feels like a tabletop game especially when you get to the character creator. When V goes to pick up the pistol in her apartment, the green bar (to me at least) indicates a rarity level. Especially when later in the video another gun is seen with a purple bar.  Loot was an aspect of gameplay I didn’t foresee at all. I thought it’d be a merchant system. Loot, however, makes things a bit more interesting in my opinion. The ability to find something out in the world as opposed to coming to a market every time is always more immersive and overall fun in my opinion. The dialogue options are interesting and often, which is exactly as it should be. I’m not sure if this was intended but V even interrupts the Corpo woman and you can actually see a physical reaction though brief. Which has really interesting implications if used properly. It didn’t seem like the “shut up” button you’re given in Fallout that just silences the NPC. This actually seemed to be an active decision the player makes that the other character actually observes or at least understands. 

Movement Overhaul is Very Enticing

Doom Eternal is the closest thing I can think of when I see such quick and nimble movements from a character in an FP game. A sense of control and dynamism that will allow and encourage those to play as they wish. Dashing, sliding, and sticking to walls with mantis blades; all of it will only be enhanced with what appears to be well-designed levels and environments. I wasn’t sure if I’d talk about this in the movement section or the world section but to me; this specific demo shows how these parts of the level (and hopefully others) seek to facilitate combat. Not just exist in the same space to build the world or just because.

Guns and Their Play

We only saw four guns and one melee weapon, a handgun, the bullet curving submachine gun, a double barrel shotgun, some kind of gauss rifle, and the signature mantis blades. Both were very interesting in their functions. Enemies appear a little spongey, but I’m willing to chalk it up to augmentations but I do hope it gets a touched up a bit. None of that Division shit, I cannot stand that. No one has to go down in one shot but once I’m half a mag in...maybe they should be dead...? Later in the demo you do see the double barrel put people down left and right as well as the bullet curving gun. It’s a step up from the Titanfall pistol and an idea that lets you kind of peek behind the curtain as to what kind of tech we’ll be dealing with. The rifle shown is also again, very cool and makes me wonder what other high-concept weaponry is in store. I can’t comment on the feel obviously but I hope that the guns feel heavy to kind of play off how quick your character is/ can be. 

Deliberate Dialogue 

I very much enjoyed the ‘buddy-cop’ conversations between V and Jackie. I’m getting shallow but purposeful bits, most likely to avoid spoilers and things of that sort. Nothing too significant but it’s very well voice acted and that drives the tense moments and lets the lighter ones land regardless of how ‘deep’ the writing is. Then there's the Maelstrom scene, V and Jackie have a chat with a fine gentleman by the name of DumDum. The performance is phenomenal. The writing is good and houses the cliche dick measuring contest between DumDum and Jackie. It’s how Dum Dum carries himself and speaks that made me believe we had found the boss of the Maelstroms. Only for the big bearded fuck to storm in and start questioning what’s going on. Long story short, everyone dies and Dum Dum was nothing more than a passerby, practically an NPC in the open world. I was impressed how in that one scene, an absolute no one could leave such an impression on me. That doesn’t happen in most games, not for me at least. If this is something I can expect from even a handful of NPCs I’ll be floored and beside myself.

I know I’m fanboying but let me enjoy something dammit!!

[madyxtothemax]

Faking It

<Hurricanes. Racial tensions. Wars. Earthquakes. Terrorism. Shit was primed for an uprising against supers. When things escalated in the human world called Earth, we had become the ones to blame. Covert was not my forte; I wasn’t good at hiding among the masses pretending I was just another human. I worked my super status like a swagger and served it up in the form of pleasure without limitations. It hadn’t proved to be that careless a decision, yet. My gift doubled as a weapon against those who would happily entertain the blood of any non-human on their hands. Those who even sniffed of suspicious got a little snappy snap of the old fae fingers, the potential assailant on the receiving end of a smack of pleasure they couldn’t compete with. I inherently knew what made a person tick, what got them off, where the pleasure receptors in their brains led to on their bodies. Speeding ticket? No problem. One cop got a hit of the filet mignon he was craving but couldn’t afford when I whet his palate with a phantom taste. It worked better than a set of nice tits or a pair of ruby lips.

While mother nature played pissed off and global concerns were at the forefront of the minds of damned near everybody, human and super alike, my own internal warfare took center stage. Hawking pleasure came with some measure of satisfaction, it fed my very essence, the fabric from which my soul was constructed.  Denial of my gift would have resulted in a withering of my life force, and the added bonus of punishment by the king and queen of my kind. But I was sentenced to a reality of balance, which would never have me receiving the pleasure I could give, unless I wanted to boogie with a demon. Hello… hard pass. Yet, there was no denying the pervasive ache for something reciprocal, the satisfaction another realized were my efforts able to be returned. There had been some I’d wanted to come for, whose touch I wish registered as more than a visual and a phantom sensation on my skin. Their minds had synced with mine and driven a desire that would never be realized:  to make that final connection that would ease us into bliss and some kind of “normal” relationship. I had never been willing to sacrifice integrity for show, faking things to keep someone around who I genuinely cared for. In the end, I’d let each one of those rare beings go free while my heart and body were clawed from the inside out.  Turned out only physical feelings were inert, heart and mind were always on the table, served up and leftover.

My client had booked the appointment for after hours which was the first clue the human female had wanted more than your standard inking. She walked in right on time, all thighs and curves on display in a dress that left little to the imagination, earning her a practiced smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes but still indicated interest. The effect was as intended and had she been a feline, purring would be happening, no doubt.  As was customary for the type of patron I suspected she was, I locked the door behind her and turned the blinds for privacy over the already darkened neon of the “Open” sign. After she had poured herself into the chair, we discussed her wants. She oozed sex from all orifices, seeking to arouse me with her voice and a calculated rubbing of her thighs and shift of hips. I’d seen this game a thousand times and as with every time before there was no involuntary reaction. My dick could get hard on command but in attempting to draw a natural response rather than seeking her own pleasure, it wasn’t gonna happen.

I listened haphazardly as she relayed the whats, whys and wheres of her desired ink, forcing a chuckle when she’d boasted about me popping her tattoo cherry. It was all part of the package, this one wouldn’t derive pleasure if she thought I had no response to her come ons. My internal yawning was incessant. She described wanting the needle to feel like the lap of a tongue on her skin. Annnnnnd… of course she wanted it as an underscore below her breasts which she was all too quick to reveal as she tossed brunette waves over her shoulders and lost her dress. There was nothing but her lace thong between us.

A well placed lick of my lips at the view she gave me was part of the facade. The singular detail I could hang onto in this whole thing was going to be the free hand ink I was about to inlay. Artistic license for the win. The string of wildflowers she wanted felt unoriginal but I’d take what I could from every experience or else get lost in going through the motions. I rolled over on my stool, and it stopped on a kiss of the metal against the edge of her chair.

There was no need to test the needle with the current I sent through the point, delivering with perfect precision the watered down level of pain she’d asked of me. She thankfully kept her writhing to a minimum, despite the scent of her arousal hitting the nostrils in time with her chorus of moans. Christ, she was over the top but I was a slave to my gift, not to mention at the mercy of the queen. We fae were a tricky bunch and the abuse of the power at the top was nothing I intended to fuck with, not this decade, anyway. Getting yanked back into fae lands sounded worse than this mediocrity. I liked variety, and here in the human world, I’d found it.

Brie came twice before the tat was finished but that didn’t satiate her, nah, she wanted to tip me with her body.  After she oohed and ahhed over the work I’d done she insisted through breathy words and a sudden misplacement of her panties that she return what I’d given her. It was all about her, in fact, if it was really about me at all, well, the effect would have been different. She thought she was imparting me with a fantasy. She thought she was a dream come true. My every action and reaction supported this fiction.

Good thing I could fake an orgasm better than a bored wife in the missionary position.

In the end it was Brie who got what she wanted. In her mind she walked away believing she was the best fuck of my life. In reality she wasn’t even a blip on my radar. I wasn’t about to be a little bitch and whine about the permanent kink in my chain.  Lamenting my circumstance would be useless, a waste of time and energy that could be spent elsewhere. I rarely allowed myself any self-pity. I didn’t shut out the hope there was something unsuspecting waiting to tip the scales, but the rules of the universe were there to keep things in balance and protect it from a fate of chaos. It was with an infallible certainty I was damned to my recurring donation.>