#i almost forgot to tag this guys; i am THIS out of practice.. tsk

[senfinity]

HELLO!

I have decided that I am going to come back to senfinity~ I know I technically already said this two weeks ago but me being me has to, of course, post a long text post in <small> font highlighting several points because honestly would it really be Tanya if she didn’t write an essay about every minuscule thing? Nope! So with that being said, the rest is going to go under a read more because I am fully aware most people don’t care and I don’t want to clog your dash. But otherwise you can click on (I’ll bold the main points for if you do care but also don’t wanna read a whole post), and also there is another piece of info right at the end so you can also just skip to that //nods//

I just want to warn everyone that I have a tendency to ramble and you can blame that on me having Mercury in the first house. I’ve also been stuck to the teeny tiny constraints of Twitter for much too long so I am just letting loose, clearly. But anywho!

In my goodbye post I said that Tumblr wasn’t a good place for me anymore because it had made me condescending, bitter, and unhappy, and that’s why I left in the first place and said that I most likely wasn’t going to come back. I remember when I posted my hiatus message before the goodbye post, I honest to goodness cried a wee bit because this really was my happy place and where I could express myself about Sehun the most, so having to leave it was a struggle and I remember being so weak that just the day after I wanted to return ;; But I managed to somehow stay off for 9 months so I think we should all be proud because I truly lack self control and that is a feat.

But after being off senfinity for a while and even attempting to start anew with a new blog and then Twitter, I realized a few things and that is what has led me to my eventual return!

Insecurities had resurfaced/were brought to light: I decided to make a new blog to be able to do what I love (talk about Sehun) while also not be associated with the negativity I attached to senfinity. However after the first few days of being on the new blog, I started to feel alone and isolated. Having senfinity and having been on there for so long and in a sense establishing myself in my own comfortable space, suddenly being completely out of it just felt really isolating, as if I had lost a big part of me. I started feeling really small, useless, and that nothing I said or did mattered. This sounds really dramatic, but I think it’s because I in general feel really isolated and have no idea what my identity is, but through senfinity I was able to belong somewhere and have at least one piece of my identity fixed, so I never used to think about these insecurities as much. So when I was out of that, I guess it made those resurface and taint everything to the point where I just couldn’t go on my new blog. But I couldn’t go on senfinity either because I just said I was going to leave - I can’t just come back a few days later. So all in all it just felt really isolating and lonely and that I couldn’t really go anywhere and it was making me sad.

I felt as if I had no voice: In a similar vein, now that I was isolated and had nowhere to really ‘be’ in a sense, I started feeling like I had no voice. As we all know I talk a lot about Sehun and that was what I considered one of my main voices because he’s a really big part of me. But now that I didn’t have senfinity which was my main platform for that voice, and I felt too isolated and alone on my new blog, my voice just felt like it was completely drowned out and eventually extinguished. Considering what a big part of me that voice was, having it gone like that was really emptying somehow and it just ended up making me more sad.

Tried too hard to gain those back to the point where it ruined the experience on Twitter: Because of me now not having anywhere to say or do anything, I decided to use my Twitter that was initially for Sehun updates as a new senfinity in a sense. It was fine initially, but after a while the same feelings that I got on my new blog were starting to take over on Twitter, too - only this time even worse. Every time I saw a Sehun stan or a post about Sehun, I started feeling really insecure because that’s something I wish I could do and used to be able to do but couldn’t anymore. It made my anxiety flare up because those insecurities were triggered again, and because of that, I started feeling like I had to do or say something to re-establish myself and my voice to get rid of that anxiety/insecurity and it just really began to ruin the whole experience because I was too busy focusing on doing something that would have use/impact instead of just enjoying being on a new account. Not to mention because of that insecurity and anxiety, I started growing this bitterness towards everything (mainly Sehun stans lmao), and needless to say it was exhausting and unenjoyable being on Twitter.

Stanning Sehun was no longer selfless: One of the things that was so special about Sehun in me loving him was that I was really selfless about it. I’m selfish for everything; 95% of the things I do is for a selfish ulterior motive, and if something doesn’t satisfy that, then I drop it (be it friendships or hobbies or anything) because I want to protect myself. That made me sound really evil lmao I assure I am not evil, though >:[ But either way. Loving Sehun though was the complete opposite of that. I just loved him for him, and I never once thought about myself or did anything for him in regards to benefiting myself; it was always just about him, for him, and because of him. I didn’t love and support him because he made me happy, I just simply loved him and it so happened that loving him made me happy. However because of the previous three points, that aspect started to disappear as well. On my Twitter I started focusing too much on myself - desperately trying to get my voice back and having an identity again, feeling annoyed when I failed each time, but trying again and again because I kept getting anxiety. And I feel horrible to admit this but I started, in a sense, using Sehun for a selfish purpose - to gain those back. I remember I was about to write a tweet talking about how loving Sehun was a selfless thing for me, but as I was writing it I realized that it wasn’t like that at all anymore. As soon as that realization hit me, I got so so sad because Sehun is my one good thing and he was special from everything else and here I was managing to taint it, to make him just like everything else, to make it something that was no longer enjoyable. I managed to ruin that one good thing, the only good thing I have, and it just made me feel so stretched thin and exhausted.

Wanted to leave: Because of that, I started even considering that - now that I don’t have senfinity, now that I can’t use my new blog, now that Twitter is unenjoyable, now that I’ve tainted my support for Sehun with selfish reasons, now that I just feel anxious and insecure at all these little things that shouldn’t be bothering me at all, now that this is no longer something that is good for me - I should just take a break from it all. I literally considered taking a break from Sehun, the one thing that has quite literally kept me alive for some years, so you can just imagine how bad it got that I even got to that point. I of course never did that because I really just cannot ever in my wildest dreams leave Sehun, but now that I had exhausted all avenues and tainted that one good thing, I just felt so sad and empty and didn’t know what to do. I no longer had a happy thing or a safe place and with my already dreary and dark thoughts, it just was not a good thing at all. I just ended up making Twitter exactly what Tumblr was to me previously and the reason I left Tumblr for, so I just got annoyed at myself for managing to ruin everything.

On a lighter note - the teeny tiny char limit on Twitter: As is extremely evident from this post and from my old tags, I talk a lot and having had the ability to write long text  posts and have 500-word-limit tags at my disposal was a blessing because I have a lot of thoughts, and for Sehun I have a lot of feelings, and I really just need to get them all out. However, Twitter with it’s previously 140char and now 280char limit, it was a struggle. Even if I had the ability to write threads, having to split up my thoughts into various tidbits and even then not even whole thoughts, just wasn’t the same. I had to squish all those expansive thoughts and feelings I had into this extremely tiny space, and it was too hard for me and became an annoyance to say anything at all.

I need to express myself but I had no room to, and because of that I started feeling unlike myself, unhappy, and empty: I am someone who genuinely needs to express herself and express herself well. For me, my feelings don’t feel completely real or valid or tangible unless I’m able to lay them out, hence why this post is this long already, because it’s a way for me to make sense of it all and to validate them. However there is really no room for me on Twitter to express my bigger, more significant thoughts, and so I started to feel really suppressed. I still tried of course, because I needed some release even if it was small, however nothing I said ever felt right or like myself, and I was never happy with anything I said. It didn’t feel representative of me and my feelings, and for someone who needs that in order to feel comfortable with them, it was really sad. All my real thoughts were stuck in my head and having been unable to say anything for what is now almost 9 months, it was all knotted and a mess and I couldn’t make sense of them at all. It was even getting harder for me to actually access my feelings for Sehun because they were all knotted up like that, and because of that I started to feel extremely empty. I even started getting anxious to say anything at all because I knew it wouldn’t come out right and I knew it wouldn’t make me happy but I still had to say something, and all of those feelings was making it hard to say anything at all, which ended up being a big cycle.

senfinity really was a part of my happiness: I didn’t realize just how important this aspect of my life was until now, because for the last few months I’ve felt especially empty and drained and have gotten into really bad depressive moods. From the latter half of 2016 to until I left senfinity, it was probably the happiest (or as happy as I can feel) I’ve been because I had dropped out of engineering and was in a program I liked, and I was in such a content mood. I didn’t realize until a few months after me leaving senfinity that having this blog played a really huge role in keeping me in a good head space and hence in a good mood because I was doing something I genuinely liked and found happiness in. Because of no longer being in a good head space and no longer having that one thing that brought me a genuine joy to do, I started losing interest in basically... everything... because I wasn’t in a good place and didn’t have anything to really keep me afloat. I know this all sounds dramatic and dependent, but as someone who doesn’t really know who she is, what direction she wants to go on, what she can do, what she wants to do, and so on, having at least senfinity - which had a part of my identity, was something I loved to do, was something that made me feel connected to Sehun, and so on - was something that was really helpful and was the base block for allowing myself to do other things. So taking that away stripped me of that positive aspect of my life and made everything feel cloudy again because there was no longer that bit of sunshine.

People from Tumblr ended up going to Twitter: Not to sound petty and vindictive towards some other blogs, but there were some blogs on here that had fed into some of my other insecurities (such as not being enough or that what I said didn’t matter which was because of a different set of feelings that still belonged under feeling isolated, but we shall not get into that!) and/or just in general bugged me, and they had made being on here less fun back when I was already feeling a load of negative feelings towards this site. Being on Twitter for a while was great because I at least didn’t have to see some of them, but then soon some of those exact blogs started migrating over to Twitter and now I had to see them there, too. With all my other anxieties and insecurities coming to surface and really tainting my time on Twitter, having these blogs that did that to me on Tumblr now on Twitter too to add on top of that, was really unpleasant.

The feelings I associated with Tumblr have now dissolved/I know what to stay away from: While there are still aspects of Tumblr that I don’t like all that much, the things that had made it so negative for me to be on here before either don’t exist anymore or I had realized how small in scale they were in comparison to whatever I was now feeling. Not to mention that because I had tried Tumblr, leaving Tumblr, making a new Tumblr, then tried Twitter, I had gone through all the options that I could and in the end senfinity was the least taxing and upsetting of them all. On top of that, now that I exhausted all those options and found that senfinity isn’t as bad and because now I know how much I need to have my own place to express myself, I really want to be able to make and keep Tumblr my happy place again because this really is where it all started and where my whole heart for Sehun has been laid out, and it was a little home for my heart and I want to come back. It’s where I can be myself the most and do what I love the most and all those other things that have now arose because of my leaving can now settle back down and restore a balance so I can stop being bogged down by such tiny, minuscule things in the grand scale of it all, and hopefully find my focus, motivation, and happiness again, not just for this but a gateway for everything else, too. Because I know what made being on here so annoying before, and because I know that this is my safe place, I will know what to avoid to ensure that it stays that way.

As you can see, a lot of stuff has happened to my mental state and experience in the time I’ve been gone. I admit that it all sounds really dramatic and quite lame because I’m sure people think that little things like blogs and Twitter and tags shouldn’t affect a person this much. Sadly this is me, and because of loads of other personal things and because I honest to goodness live in my head where there’s too much going on that for the most part are negative, little things like these truly have a decently huge effect on me because it tugs at a multitude of the thoughts living in my head.

But now that I've finally figured it all out, I realized that coming back to senfinity really is the best thing for me to do. I’m excited because this really is my own little place. I’m excited to stop being sad over everything and anxious because of useless things and to be able to move tf on and find a happiness not only here but elsewhere as well. And most of all!! I'm excited to finally be able to talk about Sehun comfortably and to my heart’s content again because I am overflowing with so much love for him and my words were always the one thing that I felt was a way to return that sunshine, warmth, and love he gave to me back to him.

Extra piece of info: With all that said, I am still going to be using my Twitter account to talk about other things like random tiny thoughts or tidbits of my life or things I feel I can’t say or don’t want to say on Tumblr. If anyone wants to know what my Twitter account is, you can send me a DM or a message off anon along with your Twitter account and I can let you know! My account is on private right now for some reasons so that's why I’ll need to know who is requesting a follow~ A warning, though: I am quite bitter on there about things regarding fandom and Sehun and my tone will be a lot more blunt not only because there’s not much room to fluff things out but because well... I am quite a bitter person alskdf. senfinity will be a place where I keep things positive and happy for me and everyone who follows me, unless I have something I really want to say that requires my tags or a text post, and so that is why all my little bitternesses and pettiness will be kept to my Twitter account. Not to mention Tumblr quite frankly can’t handle certain things so... If you’re curious what that side of me is like then you can follow me on there~ Don’t be surprised or think I’m two-faced, though orz. The way I talk and feel and the things I say on here are still 100% genuine and 100% me, so while my tone on there will be a 180 from mine on here, it's still all me. Seriously, though, my solo stan side shows a lot more on my Twitter and I am very loud about only caring about Sehun on there and anything that affects him so I hope no one who does end up following me on there holds that against me or thinks I’m some kind of ass. This has been a warning...

The End

[beels-burger-babe]

A Pain You'll Soon Regret - Pt. 1

***This...This is glorious. Oh ho, I will most definitely give you this fic @millenniumofpain! I will do so gladly! Thanks for sending in this great request!***

Poly!MC Summary: MC and the demon lords get in a fight resulting in MC leaving. They planned on going to Purgatory Hall until things cool off, but they never quite make it there. TW: Heavy Angst, Violence, I don't know what to tag this, but there is a pretty nasty verbal fight, Gore/Injury Part Two: HERE, Part Three: HERE, Part Four: HERE

You growled to yourself, angrily wiping tears from your face, as you marched away from the House of Lamentation, away from your partners.

Well, you said marching. It was more of a stumble what with the way your intoxicated brain could barely walk forward. You wished you could say you didn't know how things got like this, but the evidence had been there all along. It was in the slow build of tensions that increased and increased until they overflowed. It was in the way everyone would bite their tongues more and more frequently rather than communicating their thoughts.

Everyone had little things about the relationship between the eight of you that bothered them, and no one said a word until the words could no longer be held back.

It all started after you came back from clubbing way past curfew with Asmodeus.

The two of you were definitely drunk and were giggling messes as you did your best to hold the other up.

You both jumped when the hallway light turned on to reveal Lucifer and the others waiting there for you.

You bit back a sob as you thought of the vicious words that came out of their mouths.

"You're so reckless! Do you know what could've happened to a human like you this late at night in this state?! For Diavolo's sake MC, I expected this behaviour from Asmodeus, but I expected more from you!" Lucifer shouted Asmodeus groaned and leaned against you. "We were just having some fun. It's my date night. Don't get your wings in a twist." Beelzebub glared at him. "Just because it's your date night with MC doesn't excuse you putting them in danger. You couldn't even defend yourself right now, forget about defending them!" You frowned and stepped forward. "Guys relax. Nothing happened." Mammon scoffed, "That's always how it is with you! You think that just because nothin' has happened to ya that it's fine. You ain't invincible MC. Gah, it's like you're just throwin' ya self into dangerous situations just to get us to come to save ya again!" Satan raised an eyebrow at Mammon's comments and crossed his arms over his chest. "Maybe that's what they want. Attention. Is that the real reason why you keep being so reckless?" he tsks and scowls at you, "If you wanted attention MC you could've asked one of your seven boyfriends." You looked at them all with wide eyes. "Wha- I do NOT do all of this for attention!" Levi snarled, "Then why do you do it? Huh? Why else would you get drunk in one of the most notorious clubs in the Devildom? Why else would you date all seven of the Lords of the Devildom?" You stepped back as though you had been slapped by Levi's words. You glanced around at the others, but no one rose to your defence. You met Belphie's gaze hoping, that maybe as the only one to have not spoken up, that he'd be on your side. He just snickered and gave you a perplexed look. "What? Don't expect me to step in. You got yourself in this mess." You stood shocked and hurt; almost unwilling to believe that your partners, the people who you thought loved you unconditionally, verbally attacked you. Anger bubbled and boiled inside of you until you couldn't contain it anymore. "If you guys have such a problem with it, then maybe I won't depend on you anymore! I'm reckless, yeah, I admit, but I never did it for attention and I certainly never put myself in danger just so you all could play the hero," you turned your anger to Leviathan, "And in case you forgot, you all agreed to date me! I thought it was because you all loved me as much as I loved you but apparently fucking not! So if you don't mind, I'm going to leave now like the attention-driven child that you all think I am!"

Not your classiest moment, but you didn't care. It was clear you weren't wanted at the time, and you were too tired to handle the brutal words that they were throwing at you. So you left. Which brought you here, stumbling your way towards Purgatory Hall, drunk, and sobbing as you shivered from the cold Devildom air. You could just see the shape of the Hall ahead of you when you suddenly tripped and found yourself tumbling to the ground. You winced as you felt your knees and hands scrape against the ground. You groaned and turned yourself over to inspect the injuries. "Just when the night couldn't get any worse," "Well, well, well, what do we have here?" You stiffened as three demons came out of the woods around you and began circling you like vultures about to swoop in on their prey. The tallest one snickered. "Looks like the Lords' little pet strayed too far from its masters. Lucky us~"

A shorter, rounder one smiled sharply as drool trickled from its mouth. "Their loss, our gain," it leaned forward and inhaled deeply before sighing in pleasure. "Oh, get a whiff of that fear~ Just, delicious! Do you think it's true when they say that human tears really do add seasoning to its meat?" You tried to scramble away from it, as your heart pounded in your chest, but yelped as your back bumped against a curvier one. Its long nails dug into your shoulders as it secured its hands near your neck. "Only one way to find out." You were in trouble. These demons clearly had no intention of letting you go. You needed to get out of there before it was too late. You jammed the heel of your palms against the back of the wrists of the demon that holding you down, while you leaned backwards away from it. You were able to get just enough slack to roll away from the demon before jumping back to your feet. You were still surrounded, but at least now you weren't defenceless on the ground. Progress.

You did your best snarl, one that you and Mammon had jokingly practiced together one day, and glared fiercely at them. "Do you have any idea who you're messing with? I could have you all killed with just a snap of my fingers. You have one chance to run away, or I promise you that no one will ever be able to find your sorry corpses."

The tall one laughed and smirked at you. "And what exactly are you going to do? Scratch us with your blunt little nails? Bite us with your flat teeth?" The round one perked and began to hop excitedly. "Oh! Oh! Maybe they'll summon the lords to do it for them! Such a pathetic thing doesn't stand a chance on its own."

The curvy one wore a sickening grin as it leaned down mockingly at you. "So, you gonna call your guard dogs or what?"

You froze. You couldn't summon the brothers. Technically, you could, but not at this moment. Not after that fight. They had basically screamed at you about how they were tired of you getting yourself into situations exactly like this and then come crying to them for help. And what did you do? Take off and prove them right. They didn't want to be your heroes. They didn't want you.

You were on your own in this, and there was no way you could fight and win. Without a second thought, you turned towards Purgatory Hall and ran. The laughter of the demons rang behind menacingly. You barely got five steps away before a set of claws slashed deep into your ankle. You screamed out as you collapsed roughly to the ground, making your forehead against the dirt road.

You twisted onto your side to see the round demon drooling over your heavily bleeding leg with a nearly psychotic expression. "I love it when they try to run." That was the only warning you got before it sunk its razor-sharp teeth into your calf. You wailed loudly in pain as you used your other foot to try and kick the demon off of you, but it wasn't so willing to let go of its meal. The tall one grabbed your arm, bending you foreword as it roughly folded it behind your back. You cried out as you felt your shoulder pop out of its socket and nausea swirl in your stomach. "Not so tough now, are you?" It purred in your ear as it licked the tears off of your cheeks. You choked on your sobs as it roughly bit into the flesh on your collar, and weakly struggled in its grasp. "Let go of me! H-Help! Somebody! Help me!"

The curvy one finally approached you, burying its fingers into your hair before harshly yanking your head towards it. You screamed before it slapped its clawed hand across your face. Bile threatened to rise out of your throat as you felt your own blood drip down your cheek.

Spots began to blur your vision as the demon leered down at you with its menacing eyes. You felt your stomach drop as a realization hit you. This was how you would die.

You whimpered as you thought of the brothers, and how you never got to even kiss them or tell them goodbye one final time. Hell, you didn't even get to see them smile at you. Instead, you were reminded that you could never be what they needed you to be.

You would die scared, in pain, and unloved.

The curvy demon laughed as it wrapped its hands around your throat. You struggled to breathe and whined as, for just a moment, you saw Belphegore choking you to death once more, and not this monster. You morbidly thought that it was only fitting for you to be killed the same way twice. The demon leaned closer to you, demanding that you meet its un-naturally yellow eyes as it smiled. "You realize it now don't you? That this is your death bed? That no one is coming for the pathetic little human. I bet no one would even-" Before it could finish its sentence a blindingly bright beam burst across the side of its face sending it flying across the ground. You could hear the other demon curse and began to take off as two voices shouted and more bright flashes were sent in their direction. As your vision began to fade, you saw tear-filled, innocent blue eyes look down at you and a small mouth framed by chubby cheeks try to speak. But it was too late. With a final whine, you felt your eyes roll to the back of your skull and your mind plummet into darkness. ***This request is just evil and I love it. There will be a part two. So stay tuned for more pain. Hope you enjoyed it @millenniumofpain! Thank you for allowing me to write this!!***

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It’s The Avengers (03x08)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 3 Episode 08: We Are Going Knowhere

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: oooof!!!

Word Count:I sound so bad for actually turning happy that there was a positive patient in our block because that would increase the chances of my neighbourhood undergo a strict lockdown and then I wouldn’t have to go to work. My fam doesn’t understand this but I need some time with myself to recharge for good and so they look at me like I am posessed.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

The lens focused from its blurriness over to the kitchenette where Bucky stood making himself some coffee.

Scott: Are we rolling? *nods* Cool. *clears throat* So turns out that there is another unspoken romance waiting to bloom in our midst and as a hopeless romantic with an engineering degree I am utterly disappointed in myself for not figuring it out sooner. *looks at some invisible void in the distance* Well, I would have if I wasn't so obsessed with my other couple goal. I would have. *smiles at the void* *speaks softly* those two almost gave me a heart attack last night!

A sweat-drenched Steve walked in after a run around the facility. "Hey," he greeted Bucky before turning towards the dorms. "Hey," Bucky greeted back while pouring his coffee and looking at America's ass strut down the lounge in those grey track pants that were just the right amount of tight across those butt cheeks jiggling down the hall while the camera caught that steaming hot coffee colour the -otherwise spotless- white island brown as Bucky's eyes and heart skipped with that booty while his hands holding the coffee pot forgot what they were supposed to do. Scott entered the lounge to find that coffee dripping down everywhere while Bucky was lost. "Watch out, Buck," he called out, breaking the Captain's trance on this Seargent, "your gay is showing."

Scott: *contemplates* huh...I should get that on a t-shirt.

"I don't get it. He's your best friend. Why don't you just ask him out?" Scott bit into an apple and looked at Bucky mopping up the result of his gaze and one sexy booty. "I can't ask him out because he is my best friend, Scott," Bucky sighed. "It was kinda easy to do this charade back in our day. Now, everyone is out of the closet like-" "Like your everyday lounging shorts," Scott added, getting a nod agreement from Bucky. "And I'm not even sure if he looks at me the same way." Scott had to look at the camera after on real slow blink in Bucky's direction.

Scott: *inhales while keeping his palms together in front of his face* Boy, do I have news for you! *opens his hands and tries to stop the excitement from making him scream* That dude literally fought Nazis for you! TWICE! And then brought you back to f****ng life! *tries not to cry* *whispers* Dude! Why are my OTPs so f****ng dumb!

On Our Trip to Knowhere The camera showed Lulu trying to swim in the sea of berries in a crate while popping one in his mouth whenever Loki wasn't looking. "If the merchant asks for mixed berries I'm going to sell you off to him," Loki announced from the cockpit. Well, at least Lulu thought he wasn't looking. The distraught and drooping fluff looked at you for any sign that this wasn't true. "No, he won't," you mouthed and shook your head before turning back to co-pilot - well, whatever was remaining of- the spaceship Loki had bargained from the last station. Putting the coordinates in for his stop, he turned around and brought his hands together and did one loud clap. "Alright. Everyone listen up. There are some things you need to take care of when-" You moaned incredibly loud, dramatically your head in every possible direction. "Uuuggghhhahaaaarrgggghh!!" "What." "We have heard this befoooore!" "And you will hear it again! Because Knowhere is dangerous. It has all kinds of filth gathered here hiding in the dark wh-" You wanted to groan one more time but something in the vast emptiness before you caught your eyes and took your breath away. "What...is that?!" your voice barely got out while a smirk landed on Loki's lips with a shine in his eyes. The camera quickly came forward to record what seemed like a gigantic skull being the bed of inhabitants floating in the dark of the space. From where its eyes were supposed to be, was a cavern lit with life inside while sizeable pods came and left from the jaw and ears. "That, my dear, is Knowhere," Loki declared softly, quite mesmerised for a moment by this look of awe in your eyes, "land of the lawless created when the Dark God Knull used his All Black sword to decapitate a Celestial. Seeing as the rotting skull was worth quite something to someone in some part of the universe, a notorious group by the name Tivan decided to make this their base. And as opposed to their demeanour, they are quite a dangerous group of underworld criminals, mind you." Loki had to turn his head and look at you when he did not get anything in response and found you sit there a shade lighter, looking right at the skull where you were headed. "Surely we'll be safe if we avoid that group, right?" You looked at him for a seed of hope to get out of this alive. "Right, Loki?"

Loki: *presses his lips together* *snickers* *lets the chortle slip his mouth* *guffaws for the next minute with tears streaming down his eyes while holding onto his stomach* One minute later Loki: *clears his throat* *wipes the tears from his eyes* Ah! I love humans!

"Oh, sweetheart," Loki practically sang a soft note in your direction with a gentle head tilt, "we are going to meet their leader."

The Lounge Team "Hey, would...you...like...ss-coffee?" The camera shifted from a disconcerted Bucky barely standing by the kitchenette on his wobbly legs to an encouraging- though a little disappointed- Scott standing there while Wanda sat on one of the barstools by the wall and witnessed the whole practice unfold. "Bucky, sweety," Scott pressed ever so sweetly, placing his hand on the island in his direction, "Steve would always like a coffee for his rat-like heart. We have to get him to have that coffee with you! Make him know that you want to have that coffee alone with him. Want to hold hands with him. Want to let him know how much you care for him. Want t-" "Want to let him know how much you want to bang him," Wanda commented, taking Scott by surprise. "How long have you been sitting there?" The Ant-Man asked with a hand on his chest. "Long enough," she shrugged while popping roasted almonds in her mouth. "Bucky, all you need to do is declare you like him. Rest will be easy peasy, lemons in vodka squeezy." 

Natasha: *tsks*Совсем беда с парнями. Без нас ни один из них даже не узнал бы, что второй жив. Wanda: *giggles* Ты бы видела, как Баки се��одня себя вёл в общей комнате, весь такой смущённый. Даже в глаза Стиву не мог взглянуть, не краснея. В конце концов он просто взял, молча пододвинул Стиву кружку кофе и ушёл — а у самого из ушей так пар и валит. Natasha: *rolls her eyes* Мои зверята и то сообразительней, чем эти двое. Wanda: *gasps* У тебя есть питомцы?! Natasha: *no change in emotion* Как-нибудь познакомлю. Так вот, возвращаясь к теме парней: ты замечала, что как только Баки заходит в комнату, Стив прямо весь тает? Wanda: *wide eyes* Замечала, и не только! Он только взглянет на Баки, как у него в голове начинает играть музыка из фильма "История любви", а перед глазами волосы Баки развеваются, как в рекламе шампуня. *blushes* *clears throat*  Да, и еще он почему-то переставляет себе, что на Баки из одежды только красные стринги. Natasha: *a big, toothy laugh* АХАХАХАХА!

Knowhere There were smoke and liquor everywhere the cameras swerved. There were creatures young and old, weak and bold, gathered to gamble, fight, rave, smuggle, hide. Anything unordinary you could think was there. From genderless strippers to non-binary fighters- the far corner filled with one hollered at the other, whistling, catcalling, making signs that you did not want to know the meaning of. Loki, on the other hand, was enjoying all fifty expressions your face reflected at the scenic view of the inside of Knowhere. Lulu, though mesmerised by the lights everywhere and blown away by the flying pods, still hung to your shoulder. If he had eyes, you were sure they would be wide open with their focus just on those flying machines as he made crackling noises at them. Javi caught you flinch and jump away from a creature looking like a six-year old's version of Satan but in green. Satan growled at you before pretending to bite you and lick those yellow fangs of his while he chortled with his equally appalling buddies. "Kin sibe nom torra," Satan rolled his R's while gurgling through his throat at you- someone who had no idea what that guy was talking about while trying to fiddle through your bag to find those earpieces the Hardy boys had provided you. "Ugh, is this what Clint has to go through?" That Satan dude stepped closer to you, driving you two steps back. All the onlookers could feel the sudden rush as they watched you stand one step away from backing into a murky wall while Satan smirked his dirty smirk at you, taking one potential step before Loki stepped in to put a hand on his chest. "Ukt sast nom kore grata," the God practically sang before parting his fingers with that chest while his face screamed 'yucky'. Just as he uttered those words, that smug grin on Satan's face got washed away to show confusion and fear eroding in those beady eyes. "Sica rom ni froa," Loki gestured him to walk away with a kind smile before turning to look at you with your jaw unhinged just a little. "Wha-how...what was that?" "Oh, they were catcalling you in the most vulgar way possible," Loki replied, looking at the address in his navigation device. "....okay? And?" "And-" he clicked the device close and pointed at a distant pathway- ever so casually with the other hand in his pocket- "I told them to only ask you to go with them if they liked getting their heads eaten when you orgasm." And the Silvertongue walked away, leaving that jaw to unhinge a bit more.

You: *grunts* now I wish I could do that *crosses arms in disappointment* *camera pans out to show Loki standing by your side, looking at you like a lost cause* Loki: This is why you do not have a lover You: *huff* *repeat his lines to him louder* this is why you do not have a lover!

The Collector's Den There were no guards on doors, something you thought would be a default scene considering you were walking into the Space Illuminati Warlord's lair. The neon colours breathing around you from creatures and elements unknown were too much for the eyes to deal with in one go. But it all seemed to be toned down to normal when your entire body felt itself jerk to prevent a heart attack at the sight of the four feet high and three feet wide head preserved in a tank right next to the entrance. "That's...one way to greet people," you muttered, your eyes still on that creature while your legs followed Loki further into the appropriately-named Collector's business place.  "Marvelous!" A voice boomed in the house of Tivan and you had to pull yourself back to the front, stepping closer to Loki to witness a creature anatomically very similar to a human walk towards your group with a pep in his step. "Finally someone who knows the worth of the head of a dark celestial." The white hair on his head stood as straight as a distraught anime character along with his brows. His lips were what caught your attention with an apparent thin tattoed line running down the middle, ending right before the chin. If that wasn't enough to make anyone wonder what in hell was this creature, the sudden whip of his cape was the last straw to help you innocent ones realise this one was the mad kind. "Tell me, oh beautiful one-" he bowed in front of you his hands going back in the air like a ballerina- "what do you think of that head?" You looked at Loki for some help. He simply shrugged and put his pale fingers on his lips, leaving the floor to you. "...that it's...big?" "It's hideous," the Collector grumbled. "A beauty like you should not have to see something so indigestible. EVER!" He whipped his cape again, making you shoot your brows up and turn towards the camera.

You: Ooooohohoho *giggle* my God! This guy is more dramatic than any theatre majors I have EVER seen! *gasps* Oh- Loki: No! We are not taking him to earth to meet theatre nerds. You:  You: *slump back* *grumble*

"Welcome to the humble abode of this mere creature that goes by the name Taneleer Tivan. Address me as you wish your grace. Your husband has been our esteemed partner for quite the time in this space." There was nothing but a slow blink that escaped you at the thought of the mafia lord thinking you were Loki's wife. Then, a finger rose in question at the audacity of that white-haired baboon reaching to that conclusion just by seeing you two together. "Okay, excuuuuse me," you started off with bubbling rage, "first of all, you have amazing eyesight for noticing I'm beautiful. And second of all, your partner wishes!"

Taneleer: *narrows eyes at the camera, oblivious* I am confusion

Loki simply rolled his eyes before touching a windchime next to him. "I see you still have your spies on a decent payroll, Tivan. Was it the Kou-Gare that boarded with us on the shuttle from the last station? Or was it the Djinn you had your clan's symbol etched on his back?" Taneleer blinked quite fast before breaking into a chortle, his head thrown back and his hands flailing. "You are still the same shrewd Silvertongue! I told them you would find out sooner or later." The camera focused on your expression- a swirl of shock and thrill. "But I do have to ask," he sang before turning to you, circling you like a cat, "where did you find this one? And what was so special about her that she got to stand by the side of the God of Mischief." He practically purred inside your hair while taking a sniff as you stood there frozen, looking at Loki for some sort of escape. "She is a human, Tivan," Loki called out, still looking at the windchime that refracted light into a colourful rainbow all over Loki's skin. And like a good chameleon, Taneleer's colours changed while Loki looked smug for the camera, his back still turned to you and the Collector. "By your Gods and mine! If she is a human how is she more alluring than you?!"

You: *smug* If I had a mic? I'd drop it. *still acts out a mic drop*

The colours on Loki's face washed away as fast as they had come. His lips forming as many different-sized Os as they possibly could. "What? WHAT?!" Taneleer simply nodded, observing you like an art connoisseur from a respectable distance. "Say, my ever-enchanting one-" with a leg bent out, he bowed to take your hand in his- "would you bestow upon this meagre merchant the honour to honour you by studying your essence?" "Okay, that's it," Loki muttered before covering the distance in two strides and breaking away that unwanted hand-holding; smacking away Taneleer's hand while taking yours and holding it in his. "You," he pointed his finger at the collector while the camera focused on his hand holding your wrist, "you are going to help me-" Taneleer parted his lips to say something before being shut by Loki's words- "BECAUSE you owe me for saving your life!" And then the God turned to you, the distance between the two of you lesser than Lulu lying on the ground. He was in fact lying on the ground, trying to make angels in something clearly invisible to the human eyes. "And you," Loki announced softer than he wanted to, his eyes locked onto yours. For the moment there, that was all it was. His greens shining like a freshly washed forest from rain shining under the new sun. And your eyes were the treasure quarry of y/e/c stones buried under the water looking up at that forest hiding both the light and darkness inside it. Seconds passed. Both Taneleer and the camera looked at each other for answers before the former slowly dragged his wine glass from the table to the edge, letting it fall and clunk on the floor, loud enough to break the God out of a trance. "You will stay here with Lulu. Do not cause trouble till I get back." Authority in his voice, he inhaled a lungful before furrowing his brows- trying to understand what had just happened- and turning to walk away. "Who's Lulu?" Taneleer was curious. You seemed to pop right out of your own trance by the question, beaming at the collector before picking up Lulu in your arms to let him purr in your embrace. "My baby." Taneleer took the appearance of little hairy creature in. "So much hair...or fur?" before turning to Loki, waiting for a second and then following him. "I told you not to take those drugs during your sexual endeavours for information extraction, Silvertongue."

The Lounge The flatscreen was muted, showing you sleeping in the back of the spaceship Loki just bargained for cheap. Your lips were parted and you were drooling all over the blanket underneath you while Loki set the ship on autopilot to come to take a look in the back. Javi was asleep too, with Lulu in his arms, both of them sprawled on the seats bunched up together by the last owner. What Loki did not realise- or did not bother to validate- was that the cameras were still running; those electronic bugs with space technology still buzzing around the temporary gravity.  He stood next to the makeshift bed of crates bunched together for you to sleep over, snoring loud enough to make Lulu's head vibrate in the direction of the voice. The camera focused on the screen when the expression on Loki's face bore a look barely ever seen before- soft. He was on his knees, putting the blanket wrinkled in your arms over your shoulder, securing it on both sides before moving a stray strand of your hair away from your face. He said something, apparently to you, but the only thing the camera in the lounge caught was the moving lips before frantically shifting between the screen and Natasha, Wanda, Scott and flustered Bucky; neither of them catching the lens' drift to look at the screen. Natasha and Wanda watched from the sofa as Scott still tried to get Bucky to open up a little more. "I can't watch this anymore," Natasha grumbled to Wanda with an emotionless face towards the two men, "just tell me when he comes." "Oh, oh, oh, he's coming," Wanda whispered, poking Natasha before transforming her excitement back to a dull sober self.

Wanda: So, I can always tell where this man is in the house. He does this thing where he will pick up a theme from something he is into lately and his brain keeps playing it on repeat. Last night Natasha made him watch Phineas and Ferb and so *flails her hands* *smirks* it's going to be the title sequence all day. *turns her smile into a fine line of distaste* and thanks to her I no longer have to listen to Never Gonna Give You Up for another week.

"Hey, Bucky," Natasha called out the ex-winter soldier as loud as possible, "I'm proud that you came out of the closet buddy! You should be proud of being bi. We are here with you." She clicked her tongue and finger-gunned him. Confused but delighted at the gesture, Bucky shared a chuckle with an equally excited Scott. "Thanks, Nat. But I don't know how will be able to tell to-" he turned just enough to let his eyes catch Steve standing frozen by the lounge entrance-"...Steve."

Tivan's Den "This is crazy. And so cool?! I wish I had the means to collect all the weird things around the world." Lulu chirped at you while tapping at the glass that had a pink coloured female inside it while you- bright-eyed and enthralled by the extraordinary roamed about the place, looking at the gems and flora, bugs and skeletons around this place. One little piece of quartz caught your attention for it had waves inside it as if clear water was kissing the pale dull sand on a clear beach and making it come to life. Your hand went for that crystal when you felt your brain jerk you back. "Ooooh, we're not supposed to touch anything. I don't want to be stuck in a death game again," you muttered before pouting at the crystal and walking away. Away from that shelf to turn and find yourself facing a golden music box and shrieking as low as possible. Lulu raised himself where he stood before leaping towards the shelf you were fangirling about. "Lulu, look!" You whispered in heated excitement, your toes barely keeping you on the ground, "a music box with Loki's helmet on it! You think it belongs to him?"

Lulu cautiously moved closer to the box sniffing it like a curious cat, pausing for a bit before rubbing his head with the precious trinket. "Okay. So, you approve!" You clapped and picked the box up. "Aw! You think little Loki got this as a gift on one of his birthdays?" Winding the lever as far as it went, you refrained from squirming as you opened it. A sweet sound was followed by Lulu's camera catching a hairpin inside the box. The camera caught the expression of pure awe on your face that was looking at the intricate designs on that hairpin while also catching a cloud emerging behind you that was slowly morphing into a figure; something you were not aware of. Lulu, on the other hand, seemed to feel the presence as the camera jerked and a hiss came out of the little one in the direction of the figure that was out of focus but slowly walking towards your back. "It's beautiful!" You whispered. "Do you think it belongs to his...mom, Lulu?" Another hiss came out of Lulu and this time you turned your gaze up in confusion at him. "I sure hope it does," an echo of a voice called out from behind you, making you shriek, jump away from that direction, hit your head in the shelf in front of you so hard that you went limp and fell down with one loud thump.

Back Where the Boys Are The back room of the Collector's den was rather more sophisticatedly decorated than the marketed front; not to mention the equally more bizarre antiquities surrounding the room as the God and one human entered. "I need a tool to break me out of these," Loki declared while directed Taneleer's gaze towards his handcuffs. Taneleer raised his brows and tapped his fingers onto each other. "Looks like someone forgot the key during their playtime!" A snicker left Javi and Loki almost lost it. "Why does everyone keep thinking I would voluntarily shackle myself to these forsaken cuffs!" "How many people have pointed that out by now?" Taneleer asked while supporting his weight on the nearest shelf. Loki shoved off the question, paused, blinked and then huffed. "Five," he muttered. Javi tskd from where he stood, signing something with one hand. "That Terran says eleven," Taneleer pointed out, now judging the God with his narrowed eyes. "Do not jest me, Collector!" "Jest you! You, the God of riding SOLO with nothing but self-preservation in your blood, trodding in space all mighty with a beautiful Terran and you expect the fauna to not suggest something titillating going between the two of you?!" The eye-roll Loki felt, almost made the audience wonder if they would disappear in the back of his head. "There is nothing going on between me and her. She's just. A friend." The most dramatic gasp came out of the Collector, his hand going over to his trembling lips. "He used the f-word," the poor mafia lord whispered to himself. "What? I have had friends before," Loki shrugged through his shoulders, not making eye contact with his company before getting conscious of the camera. "Oh, name one friend besides me who hasn't exploited you for their own wishes!" "Can we please get back to busi-" "That's because you don't have any-" "Peter!" Loki blurted out of nowhere before realisation hit his face and made a split-second eye contact with the camera before composing himself. "His name is Peter and if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone and then myself. Remember that." The weight in his words seemed to shift the power in the room, impressing the Collector beyond what he asked for. "Yes, yes! Don't boil your blood over it," Taneleer sang rather sweetly, swinging his hips and humming something. "Well? Are you going to help me or not?!" Loki huffed. "Give me back whatever grace I left with you." Taneleer muttered something that was not audible to the God.  "You did what?!" Taneleer groaned. "How do you have such sharp ears?" "YOU SOLD MY GRACE!!!" "Well, not sold so much as bartered for a nice sample of a fae's DNA. So, I'd say it was a good deal." The collector was in the middle of turning to face the God when he felt himself being shoved into the wall behind him by Loki. "You are-" Loki hissed- "going to get me-" and grabbed his throat- "out of these shackles-" and tightened his grip on the OverLord- "or this is the last thing you will see before you die." The Collector winced and croaked for air, begging through his eyes when Loki let go just enough for him to speak. Wheezing for as much air as possible, the Collector looked at the God with eyes of a mercy-seeking peasant. "Now, now, my sweet God! If you kill me...who will save your precious friend out there?"

to be continued...