#i already bought he who drowned the world but i think im gonna need to siy on swbts a while longer

[1eeminho]

.........the swbts ending........ someone hold me rn that was UNHINGED. zhu steadily growing more and more ruthless, her desires so intense they burn everything and everyone around her, the white gold mandate, "behold me as zhu yuanzhang, the radiant king"??????????????????? boy .

[audie430]

BSD guys comfort you when you feel down

ft. dazai, chuuya, ranpo, atsushi

Hello beautiful! I hope you're doing well :) in honor of bungou stray dogs season 4, here are some new headcanons. I'm writing some hurt-comfort/fluff once more bc I'm a sucker for it and I'm ready for the year to be over already (only 10 days in haha💀).

Chuuya Nakahara

lmao fiesty boi

more spicy than takis

anyways

this shawty is a busy man, he has lots of work to always do so it would take him a few days to realize you're in a funk

I think he would figure out when he comes home for dinner and you arent as expressive as you usually are

he fell in love w you for how pure and adorable you areeee😭😭💕

he would ask what youre preparing for dinner and you'd answer w smth like "sigh, whatever you want. Or take out."

This boy loves your food, even if you suck at cooking

He sees you on the couch scrolling through your phone, seeing your unhappy expression

"Hey y/n.. whats wrong?"

"Hm? oh nothing, Im fine"

GIRLIE CUT THE CRAP-

hehe jkjk unless..

he would obviously not break you bc youre like invinsible and like the biggest stone walls protect your heart from being vulnerable :/

He'll tell you he's getting chinese or smth and grab his keys to leave

but in reality he goes out to the store and buys all your fav things and the things that remind him of you

this guy is rich, he will buy you everything

Imagine him coming home w ingredients for your fav meal and an extra bag w a new teddy bear and maybe even a face mask, perfume, and a new nail polish color, or maybe matching hoodiessss

"uh chuuya, what are you doing? what's that?"

"I dont know whats burdening your sweet lil head, but darling whatever it is, just acknowledge those bad feelings and set them aside. You're so strong, but I want you to rest now. I bought you something and Im gonna be cooking your favorite tonight. Go open your gift, I'll tell you when food is done."

cue your tears

"darling?"

"..thank you bub"

he'll wrap you in his arms, rubbing your head, and drawing shapes on your back

"shhh sh sh, I'm here now"

he'll grab a chair so you can hang out w him in the kitchen while he cooks

he'll softly smile everytime your face lights up while you are opening your gifts

then you'll get to the bottom of your present

a rock?

"rocks always remind me of you, silly girl"

he was your penguin, giving you the smoothest part of earth he could find

after dinner, he'll get a bath running and join you

just innocent touches on your body to help you relax and sweet nothings to help your tired mind.

you practically become jelly in his hold

he'll carry you to bed, rub your back some more

all the head kisses in the world from chuuya ofc

"sleep well, little lamb"

Osamu Dazai

im simping all over again, pls let me drown w him

i wanna cuddle and watch disney movies pls😩

depression who

this man knows the dark side, he has always had to protect himself from others

until he met you anyways

Lets say yall have been together for about 8-9 ish months. You both have opened up about your lives, but ofc not everything

Your past rises to the surface, whatever it is: its a bad memory and you break down

Im gonna say you found smth triggering while you scrolled through your cell phone

You were taking a sip of water when it happened and it caused your hand to slip

glass broken everywhere; the sound was loud and made your mind fuzzy

You couldnt move

"Dearest, i'm homeeeee🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻"

literally not rn dazai-

anyway, his eyes widen. there you are on the brink of collapse

your knees are physically trembling, eyes watering and foggy

you couldnt even process dazai being there, did you even know he was there?

"y/n.. dont. move. I'll pick up the glass"

he needs to make your surroundings are safe before he can assess what the hell actually happened here

you answer him with a whimper, still trembling

he quickly sweeps the glass closest to you so he can grab your hand. you flinch but allow the touch otherwise so he can set you down

youre sitting on the floor while he picks up the rest of the glass

once he tosses the glass out into the bin, you couldnt hold it in as you started bawling

dazai quickly comes to you, he kneels in front of you trying to get your attention

thankfully you look at him and reach for him

he gently manuvers you onto his lap and allows you to curl into him

"o-osamu, I cant anymore, it.. it hurts"

the detecrive wont say anything more than a few short comforting whisperings and shushing you while he plays with your hair and gives your head a few kisses

he'll wait to move from the floor when you can breathe, and if you need a little guidance, he will see to it

"y/n, look at the palm of my hand. When we breathe in, you're gonna slowly trace all my fingers starting with my thumb, okay? You're gonna do the same thing when we breathe out. Go from the middle of my palm to the thumb, alllll the way to my pinky, can my lovely do that? here, lets do it together."

And slowly you inhale, you tickle his fingers when you trace the base of each of them up to his fingertips, then go back down to meet the following finger. You make your way back to his thumb and you exhale as you repeat the action all over again.

he'll pick your body up against his and he'll cuddle you in bed until you fall asleep

"my sweet girl, you did so well. I love you, have sweet dreams. I'll join you soon."

And when you wake up, you'll be met with your fav take out and a new spft blanket that was just in the dryer

Ranpo Edogawa

how did this man realize his feelings for you? or do you just taste like chocolate?

you knew coming into this relationship would be difficult

he's a literal child at 26

You or someone else will have to tell ranpo that you arent doing so great

in this scenario, we're gonna say someone else

kunikida: "hey ranpo, whats going on with y/n lately?"

"its probably their time of the month"

👊🏻💥

he's clueless until he puts on those glasses istg

he'll give you a glance and realize you're basically sulking

your shoulders look stiff, you have bags under your eyes, you look shaky, but not sick?

he put on his glasses and it all literally clicked

"ohh so thats what it is"

"uh ranpo who are you talking to?"

"not right now astushi, youll understand when youre older"

if yall are still at work when he gets the time to start a conversation with you, he will give you a snack of your choosing

and yes he will pout

"huh you want that one?! ahh, okay.."

and then youll quickly excuse yourself to do more work to rid yourself of your negative thoughts

youll drive ranpo and yourself home. you slump on the couch, your eyes watering. You are so tired

Ranpo will sit next to you and harshly pull you into his side to kiss your head before laying your head on his lap

"I dont like it when your sad, and I'm not good with nice words, but I can listen so spit it out so I can make you feel better."

he'll hold you all night, however you'd like

and if you rant thats up to you

just know that he is right there and you're in this together♥︎

Atsushi Nakajima

rawr

he's a sweet lil angel and will do ANYTHING to make you smile

"uhm y/n, i'll turn into a tiger for you"

"hey y/n just wanted to let you know that I did the dishes!"

"hey sweetie! do you wanna cuddle, maybe?"

^his love language is def shown through actions so he will either hold you or help you through most of your chores

it all started at the beginningnof the week, you were not feeling it

it was rainy and you were exhausted: it was only monday

you both had off work and it was pouring out, so you were stuck at home

atsushi said he would start w the chores but you didnt think he meant yours too

the whole apartment was tidy and he was even making you your fav sandwhich

he even turned on your fav show before giving you lunch

he sat next to you and pulled your feet into his lap

when he was done your sandwich, he massaged your feet and ankles and even kissed your toes to make you laugh

dw, you were wearing socks

affer eating and your episode finished, atsushi decided to pull out your record player and play your fav songs

*imagine enchanted by ts playing while he spun you in the living room🥺

"ahh, atsu! hahah"

it was.. enchanting to meet you

"oh princess, you make me wonder what I did just to have you in my life"

"I love you so much, let me take care of you today, and everyday after that."

"I want to watch you walk down the aisle in a pretty white dress"

he rlly simps for you, hard

astushi will spoil you the rest of the day with lingering soft touches, give you an early present that he was saving for your birthday, make dinner too

he would run you a bath and let you borrow his favorite hoodie and blush when you smell him on it

youre so tiny in his hoodies😭😭 he absolutely adores it

and he hopes that he can forever make you smile

"I never want to be the reason to make you cry, rest now. I'll protect you tonight. Every night, I promise" *kiss

oml look yall I did it, i wrote fanfiction. I hope yall have a great new year! dont forget to give me some ideas for work in the future, I will love yout input! have a lovely day, gorgeous :)

[vantemei]

taehyung sighs as he enters his apartment, throwing his bag to land somewhere hopefully not hazardous and pulling his belt off to throw it in the same direction. as much as he loves working his dream job, modeling is not as easy as it seems. his limbs ache from holding awkward poses all day and his stomach growls with hunger from not having time to eat. on that thought taehyung drags himself to his kitchen, discarding his pants along the way so he's left in his black briefs and the silk button up he got to keep after the shoot. it's a nice off white color that goes well with his current grey hair as the stylist had pointed out. the pattering of small feet on the hardwood floor draws taehyung's attention and he smiles tiredly as yeontan comes dashing down the hallway, small puppy making a straight line to where taehyung is now crouched down to welcome the small pup.

"tan ah, i'm home. did you miss me?" it's an obvious question because the minute yeontan is in taehyung's arms he's jumping up and licking at his face and yipping happily. it makes taehyung laugh with fondness and he feels a little lighter already but he wants to cry when he opens his fridge. a head of lettuce, a tub of kimchi, a sad apple that sits bruised in the back of the second shelf, and a nearly empty jug of milk is what greets him and taehyung remembers the grocery shopping trip he blew off yesterday to get boba with jimin.

his mouth suddenly tastes like boba and bitterness and taehyung sighs heavily, too tired to work up the tears he feels stinging his eyes from frustration. "tan ah, you daddy is a fool." taehyung pouts at the puppy in his arms and yeontan yips and licks his nose, drawing another fond giggle.

his bare feet pad over the plush carpet to his bedroom and he barely strips off his shirt before he's falling onto his silk sheets, tension leaking out of his body in waves as he rolls to the middle and let's himself be enveloped by the sweet embrace of sleep, smiling as he feels his puppy wiggling himself under taehyung's arm to curl up against his chest.

an hour or two later taehyung jolts awake suddenly and sits up groggily, rubbing his eyes and looking around to try and see what woke him up. his curtains aren't drawn in his room (or anywhere else in the apartment for that matter, he much prefers natural light over artificial) and the golden ray's of the evening sun filter in through the window. yeontan still sleeps soundly beside him and taehyung idly runs a hand through his fur.

a sudden thump makes taehyung jump and his eyes go wide, suddenly very awake as he looks at where his door is cracked very slightly. he can't see his living room from the crack because of the small hallway where his bedroom is but that's definitely where the sound is coming from.

slowly getting to his feet taehyung's eyes flicker across his room. on his left draped across his closet door is his dressing gown, a gift from gucci, and on his right on the wall is his aesthetically pleasing realistic samurai sword he bought undercover at an anime convention.

another thud from the living room and taehyung jolts, grabbing the sword and pushing silently into his hallway. there's a voice mumbling something and what sounds like a muffled curse or two paired with a few more noises of someone moving stuff around.

fear chills taehyung's blood despite the warm summer breeze and taehyung bites his lip, terrified. he doesn't want to die, he has so much to do. he's hasn't been to the louvre yet! he's never been in love! jimin still owes him twenty thousand won for the time he bet taehyung to eat a ball of wasabi. yeontan still needs him!

summoning all the courage he can and sending off a last minute prayer that jimin makes sure gucci sponsors his funeral, taehyung jumps around the corner with a vicious battle cry, sword held high and ready.

when jeon jeongguk signed up to be a fireman he signed up for a life of saving lives and helping people. sometimes that does mean being the heroic man who runs into a burning building and comes out carrying a sixty year old woman and her cat but sometimes it also means doing routine fire alarm check up and being shouted at by a man in his thirties who thinks he's a government spy putting a camera in his house to spy on him. those days feel significantly less heroic but someone has to do them and jeongguk is really bad at kai bai bo.

it's a nicer complex in gangnam today which means instead of a hallway full of doors, jeongguk takes the elevator up and presses the entry code for each floor. the lower five floors have multiple apartments and as the floors go up the bigger the apartments get and the less there are per floor until the top floor that is a single apartment. most of the people jeongguk has had to deal with today have been at least politely hospitable, leaving him be to do his job and offering the rare drink.

"hello, this is the fire department. i'm here for a routine fire alarm check up, is anyone home?" jeongguk buzzes the intercom in the elevator for the last floor. it's on the highest floor so the person who lives here must make a lot. another stuck up rich person. jeongguk sighs at the thought and waits a few more minutes, trying twice more before giving up and pressing the nine digit security code into the panel in the elevator thinking the tenant must be out.

the elevator doors open into a massive room, floor to ceiling window surrounding it and the apartment is nice. it looks like more than jeongguk could afford in his life and it's decorated beautifully. the kitchen is modern and neat with white marble counter tops and an open layout. the living room is spread out with a massive tv in the wall. the living room itself looks like it's the same size as jeongguk's entire one bedroom apartment and he can't help but be amazed. far to his left is a small gated area with a bunch of small toys in it and a little bed. the gate comes up about to a little under jeongguk's knee so it's must be for a small dog.

there are various paintings on the walls and jeongguk only recognizes one of them as van gogh's almond blossoms but they're all beautiful. maybe it's an art dealer that lives here?

jeongguk shakes himself out of his marveling and makes his way to the kitchen. the kitchen is just next to the elevator and against one of the only walls that isn't a window. the fire alarm is about a third of the way up the wall and jeongguk is once again taken aback at how high the ceiling is. it must be five meters high at least.

there's a bag that's looks a bit out of place with the cleanliness of the rest of the apartment and jeongguk glances at the lion on it he recognizes vaguely as gucci. he picks the bag up and places it on the counter, out of his way as he sets the step ladder he's had to carry around all day against the wall and climbs up to begin fiddling with the alarm.

a few minutes go by of him working peacefully. there are three alarms in the apartment that he knows of. two by the kitchen and one in the hallway. jeongguk is halfway through finishing the second one when it happens.

there's a sudden scream and jeongguk whips around only to be faced with a man in briefs wielding a sword. jeongguk screams and he jerks, stool suddenly wobbly beneath him and he's falling, back slamming into the ground and air rushing out of his lungs.

"oh my god! i'm so sorry!"

jeongguk gasps for air with wide eyes as a face suddenly appears above him. honey gold skin and wide amber eyes swim into focus followed by cloud soft grey hair and plump cherry stained lips. jeongguk's feels his breath knocked out of him again, this time for a different reason.

"i though you were a sasaeng or a burgler! i'm so sorry! i didn't mean to make you fall! i mean i did but that's because i thought you were gonna steal my stuff or kidnap me! oh god im so sorry! are you ok?!"

jeongguk just gapes dumbly, mouth opening and closing like a fish as he tries to remember how to speak but he can't think of anything but the way the beauty in front of him sounds like his voice was a thunderstorm dipped in chocolate and jeongguk felt like he was drowning.

"oh my god you have brain damage don't you- i've ruined your life! i can't believe i-" the beauty looks over jeongguk's head, presumably for injuries and jeongguk suddenly remembers the mostly naked state of said beauty and can't stop himself before his eyes are wandering down. he looks like he takes bathes in honey is all jeongguk can think as he scans over his toned but slim figure, choking when his eyes come to rest on the golden barbells running through dusty pink nipples.

"ok ok you wait here and i'll get dressed and i'll get you some ice!" the beauty is gone before jeongguk can even gather himself to form a single word and no he does not stare at the way his ass moves as he disappears down the hallway ('goddamn what a snack').

by the time the beauty is back, this time dressed in black sweatpants with a red black and white snake down the left leg and loose cream button up that shows his collarbones, jeongguk has managed to make his way to the unfairly comfortable couch in the living room where he gapes just as lamely as he did on the floor as he holds the back of his head.

the beauty passes the cold pack he grabbed to jeongguk and takes a seat beside him biting his lower lip in worry.

"i'm so sorry about this, i didn't know anyone from the fire department was coming today and i thought you were a sasaeng who managed to get in. do you need me to take you to the hospital? how are you feeling?"

"i-i'm ok i just- i was surprised by the sword," jeongguk finally manages to choke out and the beauty flushes. jeongguk feel's like he's looking at the eighth wonder of the world.

"ah that. i don't really have an explanation for that? i just grabbed the first thing i saw?"

"a sword?"

beauty shrugs. "i have hobbies."

this draws a laugh out of jeongguk and the beauty looks relieved to hear it, smiling in relief.

"i'm jeon jeongguk, i'm a fireman- i guess you can tell from the shirt," the black shirt he's wearing with his jeans that says 'SEOUL FIRE DEPARTMENT' in big white letters. wow jeongguk, smooth. "i came here to check you fire alarms and make sure they're working."

"oh my god i haven't even introduced myself yet. i'm kim taehyung i'm sorry i almost attacked you with a sword." jeongguk laughs again and this time the beauty, taehyung, joins him. his laugh is just as amazing as his blush was. jeongguk's heart skips a beat.

"are you sure you feel oka- OH MY GOD!" jeongguk barely processes the horrified look on taehyung's face before his head is grabbed, gently, and pulled forward. "jeongguk-ssi you're bleeding! oh my god we need to go to the hospital!"

there's a sudden small bark and they both jolt, taehyung releasing jeongguk's head to crouch down and pick up the small dog that appeared by their feet.

"tan ah, i'm sorry baby, daddy's gotta go again ok? be a good boy for me until i'm home," taehyung presses a kiss to the puppy's head and jeongguk tries not to faint as taehyung's words hit him full force, a blush taking over his face until it must resemble gochujang.

"let me grab my keys and i'll drive you, i'm so sorry about this jeongguk-ssi." taehyung sets the puppy down in the play area jeongguk notices earlier and he dashes down the hallyway again, reappearing with a leather wallet he slips in his back pocket with his keys, dialing his phone in one hand while he helps jeongguk stand with the other.

now that they're moving jeongguk is suddenly more aware of the feeling of wetness sliding down the back of his skull and how suddenly dizzy he feels, grunting in surprise as the elevator doors open and he topples forward. strong arms wrap around his waist before he can fall more than a couple centimeters and jeongguk is pulled into a strong chest, one arm still around his waist and the other now holding a phone against taehyung's ear.

"jin-hyung! are you working today.....i need help......no i'm fine but i accidentally attacked this really hot fireman with a sword- no! that is not a euphemism!"

jeongguk giggles a little drunkenly and leans his head on taehyung's shoulder, the one his arm is over, inhaling the scent of eucalyptus and chai with a ditzy smile.

"no hyung, seriously i think he has a concussion, he's bleeding!.......yes.....yes....ok, thank you so much hyung i owe you! we'll be there in fifteen minutes."

taehyung hangs up the call and looks worriedly over at jeongguk. he seems ok aside from the dizzy look on his face and the blood that has now begun to drip down his forehead. taehyung yelps and brings his sleeve up to wipe at it, any idea of a stain not even concerning him.

they make it through through the lobby and to garage relatively easily with taehyung supporting a solid amount of jeongguk's weight before he's sitting him down on the curb and telling him to 'wait here, don't move!'. jeongguk doesn't think he could do much moving anyway, his head is really starting to throb.

jeongguk doesn't even take a second glance at the car that pulls up next to him until taehyung is by his side and helping him into it and jeongguk openly gapes as he's ushered into the black porsche. he doesn't remember much after that. he can hazily recall getting to the hospital and being helped onto a gurney but the next time he wakes up he's greeted again by wide amber eyes and the most beautiful man in the world.

[runningwitches]

Loved

Summary: The reader is sad because they feel useless. Steve makes sure they know that’s not true and the party cheers them the heck up.

Request?: Nah M8 I’m just sad as heck

Word Count: 1819

A/N: i mean, seasonal depression and a neverending fear that nobody will ever love me and that I will die alone drove me to binge read a shit ton of steve harrington x reader fics and cry despite the fact that i havent finished season two of stranger things but im gonna write this anyways.

i guess this is steve x reader but thats not the main point of the story

idfk i just want to be loved

(umm, henderson! reader who is loved by everyone, i do not give a shit if this follows the exact storyline, ok? i just wanna be happy again) (also i do not look anything like a henderson! so reader can be adopted or some shit? maybe a cousin?  who tf knoes? not me, thats for sure !!

Warnings: Probably Season Two Spoilers, No Editing, Probably super OOC and all that because I started this at almost three in the morning and now its four and I’m exhausted but I cant sleep because I’m sad. Anyways I’m just trying to say that it’s bad but I’ll love you if you read it anyways.

I was curled up in my bed, isolating myself from everyone as per usual. After the events with the mind flayer and demodogs and upside down, I realized something pretty depressing. Nobody needed me. I mean like? Sure I was Dustin’s sister. And sure, I was kinda helpful in saving Steve’s ass from the demodogs and Billy, but it just feels as if I weren’t there, nobody would even notice. As if my presence had no positive value to anyone in The Party™.

So instead of socializing with them while they all played DnD and joked around, I sat myself in my room, wrapped in a blanket burrito, holding back tears. I had my music on in the background as I mindlessly flipped through one of the magazines my mom had bought for me. Everyone was downstairs as it was Dustin’s turn to host the DnD night, and everyone was over. I mean, Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Will, El, Max, Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan, and I definitely wouldn’t be surprised if I walked downstairs to find Joyce and Hopper there too. Every once in awhile I would hear some loud laughter come up from the group, signifying how happy they were without me there. It definitely wasn’t easy for me to sit there by myself staring blankly at the pictures of celebrities I didn’t even care about, but I continued to tell myself that they would be happier without me, attempting to drown out the sounds of their joy with the mixtape I had made for myself a little while back.

As I closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing, trying to force the tears that had started to pool back into my eyes, I heard someone knocking on my door. I quickly wiped my eyes to ensure there weren’t any stray tears, pulled the blanket tighter around my body, and attempted to look miserable. But miserable in a sick way and not in a sad way. If it were anybody except Dustin or Steve, I knew I was going to be able to pull off the “I’m not feeling very well” charade, so my chances were pretty good (though odds were rarely skewed in my favor).

Of course with my luck my little brother came bursting through the door.

“(Y/N)! Why aren’t you down there playing DnD with us?!” he asked, voice booming loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear. As I prepared to try my excuse with him to see if my acting skills had gotten any better, I noticed someone else walking through the door. Looking up, my watery eyes met the concerned look on Steve’s face.

“Hey shithead, stop screaming. You don’t need to tell everyone in Hawkins about your sister’s lack of participation in game night,” he said to Dustin, ruffling his hair and then muttering for him to go back downstairs. Dustin looked angrily at Steve for a moment before looking between us for a second, muttered something to himself, and then left the room, surprisingly closing my door as he left.

“What’s up with you lately? It’s not like you to miss game night, but you haven’t been to a single one these past few weeks.”

“I’m just not feeling well, Steve, don’t worry about it,” I told him, looking down at the magazine in my lap and trying to will the tears away.

“Don’t try that bullshit with me, (Y/N). I know you better than that, do you really think I’d believe that crap?”

“There’s no bullshit to be had Steve, just go back downstairs, I’ll be fine,” I told him, yet I still refused to make eye contact. So when he sat down on the edge of my bed, put two fingers under my chin, and lifted my head up in order for me to make eye contact, I saw his face immediately soften.

“I’m not gonna go back downstairs until I figure out what’s wrong with my favorite girl.”

It took all of the resolve in the world for me to not break down at those two words, and it still didn’t even work. “Favorite girl?” I repeated, but only in my own head. “There’s no way I’m his favorite girl, he’s lying to me. Everyone always lies to me” I told myself. And in that second it was like the dam was broken. The tears started to fall freely from my face. I curled myself into more of a ball than I already was, which was a surprising feat of human flexibility, if I’m being completely honest. Steve’s arms immediately went around me, pulling us closer to each other, and practically pulling me into his lap.

I didn’t say a word as he stroked my hair and shushed me softly, I simply let out a series of what I would consider disgusting sobs.

He continued whispering to me, little things telling me that I’d be okay, or that he was there for me, or that everything was gonna be fine. As my breathing finally evened out, he hadn’t asked me what was wrong like I had expected, so I knew I had to speak up.

“Why are you even here, Harrington?” I asked him bitterly.

“What do you mean?” he replied, exasperated.

“Why do you even care about me?” I reiterated with a sniffle.

“Why do I care about you? (Y/N) what are you on about? It would take me ages to list all of that back to you.” I didn’t respond, but I allowed myself to relax a bit, leaning now onto his chest instead of holding myself as far away as I could while somehow still being in his lap. “(Y/N) you’re wonderful. You care so much about all of the kids, sometimes I think you out-mom even their own mom’s.” That was greeted with a sharp exhale from my nose which was (correctly) interpreted as a laugh. “You’re fucking badass. You can use a gun, a bat, a hockey stick, and pretty much anything else you can get your hands on to slay monsters, like real life monsters.” He checked my face after this comment, and was lucky he did, because he almost missed the slight curl of my lips. “You never let anybody get in the way of doing what needs to be done. Not even racist douchebags that show up and kick my ass. And you certainly don’t take shit from anyone.” A few more tears fell from my eyes, but he grabbed my face and used his thumbs to wipe them away, looking into my eyes. “And you’ve got a whole group of teenagers sitting down there worried sick about you because you mean so much to all of them.”

I sniffled again and threw my arms around his neck, whispering an almost inaudible, “Thank you.”

“Of course, sweetheart. Now let’s go get you cleaned up so we can finish that game of DnD.” I almost blushed at the pet name he gave me, if he didn’t sweep me up into his arms and carry me to the bathroom so I could rinse my face off. He made sure to grab my blanket from my bed and grabbed my hand to lead me down the stairs.

“Wow, it’s so nice of you to join us,” Dustin said the second we were down the stairs, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Steve shot him a look that said, “shut up or I’ll kill you,” while I just gave him a small smile. Before I even got settled on the couch I was smothered by two bear hugs.

“I missed you (Y/N),” El told me, gripping me in probably the tightest hug I’ve ever had. “You were gone for three weeks!”

“Yeah dude! Don’t leave us alone with these losers for that long ever again!” Max exclaimed, hugging me almost as tight as El was.

I smiled down at both of them, hugging them back just as fiercely. Looking up, I saw the smile Steve had on, but I ignored it in favor of the smiles on my girls’ faces. Ruffling their hair, I removed myself from their grips and went to sit on the couch between Steve and Nancy.

“It’s a good thing you came back (Y/N). I almost killed your brother, and not in the campaign, in real life. I’m pretty sure you’d be the only one who could stop me.” I chuckled to myself and then smiled at Lucas.

“It’s a good thing that I’m back then, huh?”

Will looked up at me this time, “Definitely! I was waiting for you to come down so I could show you this drawing!” I smiled down at him, glancing briefly at Jonathan, only enough to recognize the immense pride on his face at the fact that Will was genuinely happy and smiley. He brought it up to show me a picture that he had drawn of me fighting a monster, a cute little label that pertained to my name at the top. “Steve said you fought a monster and won! And I didn’t even get to see it. So I thought I’d draw it out for you.”

“I love it Will!” I exclaimed, pulling him into a hug and looking at the drawing again. It wasn’t until this second look that I noticed a label by the monster’s head as well. It simply read, “Billy” with a little arrow to indicate that the monster I was beating up was named Billy. I laughed at the naming of the monster and pulled Will into another hug, pressing a light kiss to the top of his head. He grabbed the drawing and placed himself back into his spot.

“(Y/N), you want to hop in on this campaign? We’ve still got a while left to go and we’re in a pretty good spot to add another character?” Mike offered, as he was playing Dungeon Master.

“Yeah, come on (Y/N)! You haven’t actually played in forever!” Dustin added.

The rest of the group added their own chorus of “Yeah”s to try and convince you to join.

“Okay, I guess. But only if I get to be a healer! I’m tired of killing the monsters,” I joked, earning a laugh from everyone in the room.

“Okay, okay, so the group walks up to the tavern in town, hoping for a nice evening away from the fighting for once. But the open the door and see, A MOM, not just A mom, it’s their mom!”

“What?” El asked.

“Mike what are you on about?” Lucas added.

“OH MY GOD, (Y/N)’S GONNA BE LIKE OUR TEAM’S MOM!” Max shouted in realization. The whole group looked at Mike in anticipation. “Well obviously, how else would I have gone about this? It’s perfect, and the perfect position to make her the healer.”

“I mean, technically she’s my sister,” Dustin announced, implying that you couldn’t be his mom.

“See (Y/N), I told you I was gonna kill him.”

[blissedoutphil]

Dan’s Purpose

When I first watched actual phan say this, my first thought was “wow im def gonna write lotsa smut about this” but somehow I ended up with....this? A smut blog writing angst?? What happened here :x

But I hope you enjoy my first attempt at (almost) non-smut!! Do give me feedback, like if I should just stick to smut or something lmao bc I honestly dont know if this is any good

EDIT: THANK YOU for voting for this fic in the phanficawards!! It's won third place in the Undiscovered Gem category :) thank you for motivating me and helping me every time I doubt my writing <33

4428 words of neko!dan, owner!Phil, angst, a lil fluff, mentions of smut, grinding, punishment

or read on ao3!

Dan is Phil’s good little kitten. He’s proud of it. He loves it when his Master shows him off to people, loves it when his Master is proud of owning him. He knows he’s lucky to have Phil, especially since he could’ve ended up with anyone in this world, and there are many horrible, awful people out there.

Phil was fair, he was kind. He didn’t abuse his power like so many people did to nekos. He keeps Dan safe and he makes Dan feel loved. Phil treats Dan like a princess, always spoiling him.

Technically Dan was still Phil’s slave. No matter how nicely Phil treats him, he can’t escape from his fate in this world where nekos were just born, bred and sold to serve. Few lucky ones out there got training to serve in better jobs, but most nekos were just sold as pleasure slaves. Dan spent years afraid of being sold to someone nasty. He may not have been lucky enough to get training for a better job, but at least he was lucky enough to be sold to Phil. At least he wasn’t like some of the most unfortunate nekos who had no home and were just left on the street, vulnerable to anyone who mean harm.

When Dan first met Phil at 16, he had expected the worst. Phil was so tall and Dan barely reached his shoulders. He was terrified of Phil and he’d expected to be used immediately by the man 5 years older, but Phil barely touched him. Phil was caring and careful. He made the effort to earn Dan’s trust. He knew how nekos were generally treated terribly, especially since he grew up with one mistreated by his own family. He might have decided to buy a neko only to prove to himself that he wasn’t like his family. It took a while, but Dan warmed up to him soon enough.

And Dan learned that sex wasn’t always painful and scary like the nekos he’d met described. Phil was so gentle with him, he paid attention to Dan’s needs and he never made Dan do anything he was uncomfortable with. As a natural submissive, Dan discovered that he actually enjoyed pleasuring Phil. Soon he realised that he wanted to serve his owner - sexually or not. It was something he never thought was possible before being owned.

Phil did set rules and tasks, although he was lenient with them. Dan obeys them like the good cat he was. Simple things for Dan’s sake, really, like eating healthy, exercising, helping out with chores around the house, and no humping against furniture. Phil would only discipline him if he broke any rule or disobeyed him, but it was a rare occasion.

Dan loves it when his Master shows him off to people, but not this time. Adam crouched down to scritch the back of his ear, but Dan only flattened his ears. He wanted to hiss at Adam to shoo him away, but he knew his Master wouldn’t appreciate that. Dan was hiding under the office table, and with his back pressed against the wall, he realised it was a bad hiding spot.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him today, he’s usually not that shy,” Phil spoke, addressing Adam who was standing back up.

When Adam left the room, Phil crouched down to have a proper look at Dan. “What’s wrong, pet?”

“Nothing...” Dan mumbled, “just. You didn’t warn me that we were gonna have company today.”

“Sorry about that, I’ll explain later, alright?” Phil said before hurrying out.

Technically, Dan was still Phil’s slave. He should be doing what Phil wants him to, should know what was expected of him even without verbal commands. In that moment, he was expected to greet this Adam guy politely. He knew that was what Phil wanted him to do. But Dan also knew that Phil wasn’t like normal neko slave owners. He wouldn’t get into trouble for acting against his owner’s wishes.

Although he never knew about this Adam guy before today, Dan just didn’t like him. He wasn’t even sure why, because the guy honestly seemed like a nice person. Phil won’t hang out with neko abusers, and he certainly won’t introduce such people to his beloved neko. So Dan knew that Adam was a nice guy. But still he couldn’t help feeling uneasy about him.

Perhaps it was the way Dan saw them entering the apartment, all huddled up together. Perhaps it was the way Phil smiled at Adam, a smile that made the corners of his eyes crinkle that usually, only Dan caused. Something about these little things made Dan’s stomach drop.

Dan quietly crawled and peeked around the office door in time to see Adam leaving. When he saw Adam kiss Phil goodbye, his heart stopped and that was when he knew he was in trouble.

Later that night, Phil was hugging Dan close in bed as they always do when they went to sleep.

“I didn��t plan for Adam to visit us tonight, sorry about that. We were just caught up in rain and we were only 2 blocks away from here, so I decided to bring him back for some warmth while waiting for the rain to stop before he could go home,” Phil stroked Dan’s curls as he spoke, and Dan’s ears perked up, listening intently.

“I’ve never heard of Adam before,” Dan muttered. Phil told him everything, his owner barely had any friends. Phil chuckled sheepishly.

“Yeah sorry bout that too. I’ve been seeing Adam for almost 3 weeks now? I never told you because I didn’t know if it was going to be a serious thing or just like a fling. But I think we might actually get serious.”

Phil was smiling now, a dreamy look on his face. He hadn’t had a partner in ages. He’d been single since before he bought Dan, and Dan’s been with him for 4 years. Dan knew this, so he should be happy for his owner. He really should.

But.

But he couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in his chest. He received lots of training at the neko centre on how to be a proper slave for his owner. How to serve and how to provide pleasure. But he was never taught on how to deal with heartache. Because who would think that a neko would fall in love with their owner?

Dan was in trouble.

Dan wasn’t stupid. He knew this day would come. Of course Phil would finally find someone one day. How could he not? Such a charming, positive and loving guy would surely win someone’s heart soon enough. And of course he wouldn’t expect a human to fall in love with a neko. Yes, he knows that Phil loves him, but not that way. So naturally, he shouldn’t fall in love with a human either.

Except.

Except Dan was stupid. How could anyone fall in love with someone who bought them? Someone he was technically a slave for? But then again, could he be blamed for falling for Phil? The only person in his life who ever showed care for him? Someone who treats him with respect despite their status? Dan was in love and he was stupid.

He was also silent for a bit too long. Phil was looking at him now, and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

“That’s. That’s great, Sir,” he said softly, avoiding eye contact.

Phil either didn’t notice anything wrong or he didn’t want to mention it because he kissed Dan goodnight and that was the end of the conversation.

Since then, Phil started coming home late. Once, he even spent the night at Adam’s and forgot to inform Dan, leaving Dan to sleep alone confused and worried.

The couple stumbled into the apartment late one night, and Dan caught a glimpse of Adam pushing Phil against the door as soon as it closed, the two of them urgently making out. Dan retreated to the office, he couldn’t bear to hear or watch them.

When he was too tired to stay up any longer, he went to the bedroom only to find the door closed, and sounds of sex coming from the other side of the door. Dan sighed and waited by the corridor.

Soon enough the sounds stopped. Dan’s ears were flattened, trying to drown them out. He felt dirty and wrong for hearing them. Perhaps even jealous, but he would never admit that. He waited for Phil to come out and look for him to go to sleep together. Silently hoped that Adam would leave. But time passed and the silence dragged on.

If Adam can satisfy Phil’s sexual needs then...what was Dan’s purpose there anymore? If Adam was now here to keep Phil company, was Dan still needed?

Technically, Dan was Phil’s slave. His purpose was to serve Phil sexually and satisfy his needs and wants. Phil was a lonely guy who needed company when he bought Dan. But if his needs and desires were being met by someone else...Dan was of no use.

His chest began heaving and tears slipped down his cheeks. He considered knocking on the door; even if he couldn’t sleep in bed with Phil, his cat bed was next to Phil’s bed. But he quickly decided against it, Phil was probably asleep already and who was Dan to disturb his Master’s rest?

He tried to stand to go to the lounge and sleep on the sofa, but his limbs felt heavy and he suddenly had no energy to move. He felt out of breath and he couldn’t stop trembling. Nekos who weren’t needed by their owners usually had two fates - either be sold to someone else or just abandoned. Was Phil as exceptional as Dan had thought all this time, or will he be just like any other neko owner out there?

Dan hiccuped and willed himself to shut his brain up and just go to sleep.

It was Adam who saw Dan first the next morning when he opened the bedroom door. Dan woke with a startle when the door swung open, losing his balance as he was curled up against the door.

“Oh! Dan, good morning,” Adam chirped, too enthusiastic in the early hours of the day for Dan’s liking.

Dan didn’t reply, only curled his tail around himself and shied away from the door. He heard Phil exclaim from inside the room, then heard Phil’s footsteps rushing to the door. Dan wanted to hide. He looked pitiful, with his swollen eyes and dried tear tracks down his face.

“Oh I’m so sorry I forgot to let you in, pet,” Phil apologised sincerely, crouching down to Dan.

“It’s okay,” Dan mumbled.

He felt like crying again, how pathetic. He tried his best to keep his composure and quickly went to the bathroom to wash up.

When Dan was done showering and changing, he went to the kitchen and found that Adam had cooked them breakfast. His tail hung between his legs. That was another thing he was meant to do. Adam was replacing him in every way and it was crushing him.

“Dan! Adam made us pancakes, come have some,” Phil gestured to the stack of pancakes on the kitchen table.

It smelled so good, but one look at Adam happily eating next to Phil and Dan’s appetite was gone.

“Not hungry,” Dan simply said and started to retreat from the kitchen.

“Dan, it’s not good to skip breakfast,” Phil’s voice was stern, he always placed importance on Dan’s eating habits.

Dan exhaled shakily, how stupid of him to deny his Master’s requests. Then again, if he was going to be disowned soon anyway, what’s the point of following orders? He steadied his breathing and walked out of the kitchen, ignoring Phil’s confused look.

After breakfast, Adam finally left and Phil took the opportunity to ask Dan about his behaviour earlier.

“Don’t lie to me, Dan. I can tell you only didn’t want to eat because breakfast was made by Adam, isn’t that right?” Phil asked, but he didn’t sound angry, just upset.

Dan didn’t want to admit that he could be so easily read by Phil, so he pawed at his tail nervously.

“Don’t you want to show Adam that you’re my good kitty?” Phil continued.

Dan frowned, how could Phil try to make him feel guilty like it was his fault that Adam was doing all his work now.

When Phil was met with silence again, he sighed. “I don’t know what you want when you don’t even want to talk to me. I have to go,” he got up and left the house, leaving Dan feeling absolutely hurt because Phil didn’t even kiss him goodbye like he always did before going to work.

Dan had a good cry and a great nap afterwards. In his nap, he dreamt of the last time he had sex with Phil. Phil had rimmed him slow and sweet, turning him into a moaning mess before fucking him gently, lovingly.

He was just about to get to the good part where Phil sucked him off while he came, but he suddenly woke up, panting and with a hard on.

Great. Dan groaned, he didn’t know when Phil was coming back since he never seemed to care to update Dan anymore, so he didn’t know how long he’d have to wait to get some relief from Phil. He thought about his dream and felt a mix of anger and lust. It’s been a month since they last had sex. A month since he got an orgasm, which is the longest he ever went without an orgasm since he moved in with Phil.

Then Dan got an idea. He already broke a rule in the morning, breaking another wouldn’t hurt. It’s not like Phil would find out anyway. Dan got out of bed and rushed to the couch in the lounge.

Perfect. It’s always been his favourite place to grind against until Phil placed the rule. The armrest especially gave the perfect amount of friction he needed. He hurriedly pushed his pants down and began humping the side of the couch.

It felt so good, he didn’t even care that he was breaking a rule. So what if he was? Phil doesn’t need him anymore. He’d be thrown out either way, so he should at least get some relief before meeting his fate.

Dan moved his hips urgently, feeling orgasm pool inside him. But tears suddenly blurred his vision as his thoughts drifted to Phil. This is all your fault, he thought. So stupid for falling for your owner. What kind of freak. Your fault, breaking your own heart like this. Now you gotta resort to humping against the couch for pleasure. Fucking pathetic.

Phil found Dan humping the couch. What on earth? First he refused to eat, now this? Breaking two rules in one day isn’t like Dan at all.

“Your fault, this is your own fault,” Dan kept muttering between sniffles, hips thrusting randomly even though he’d already come. It wasn’t even a satisfying orgasm, he was too caught up in his thoughts. He didn’t hear Phil enter the room either.

“Dan!” Phil shouted, and Dan stumbled away from the couch in surprise.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Phil scolded.

Dan responded with a sob. He looked downright miserable, with his ears turned down and his tail limp behind him. Phil shook his head in disapproval.

“Don’t think looking like that will gain you sympathy points,” Phil reprimanded, “So are you going to explain to me why you’re misbehaving so much today?”

Dan looked at the floor. It was hard enough to accept the fact that he was no longer valuable in this place, why did Phil have to make him say it?

“It’s been a month since I got off,” he weakly argued instead.

“Well then you could’ve asked me to help you out!” Phil said exasperatedly.

“Pfft, as if you would,” Dan huffed.

Phil’s eyes widened in disbelief at what he heard.

“I’ve had it with your attitude today, Daniel,” he growled, “I let you off without a punishment this morning, but looks like I shouldn’t have.” 

Phil grabbed Dan’s arm, ignoring his yelp of protest. Dan sobbed loudly as he was dragged into the bedroom. Phil pulled out his cage from the closet and Dan whimpered at the sight of it. He could count the number of times he’d been in there with only one hand because he was a good neko who rarely got punished. But he hated the times he’d spent in there.

“You’re going to stay in here until you’ve come back to your senses, and until you finally decide to properly talk to me,” Phil stated.

Phil tutted when Dan looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes. “Honestly, what’s gotten in to you, Dan? I come back early from work to get ready for my one month anniversary dinner with Adam but now I gotta waste time cleaning your cum off the furniture!”

Phil pointed at the cage, and Dan’s shoulders drooped in defeat. There was no point in arguing. Dan started to feel guilty for his actions, ruining his Master’s anniversary in such an unpleasant way. His Master was a good man who didn’t deserve him, no matter how much Dan loved him. He wasn’t cruel, he was only trying to discipline him. So, Dan crawled into the cage with his tail hung between his legs.

Phil locked the cage. It was big enough for Dan to sit up and lay curled up. Phil was nice enough to always include a bowl of water and a small pillow and blanket in there.

Muttering in annoyance, Phil left the room to clean Dan’s mess. He then came back to get dressed for his dinner, never once looking at Dan despite his whining and whimpering. He left without a word, and Dan was surprised to find that he still hadn’t run out of tears.

Dan didn’t expect Phil to come home soon, in fact he was prepared for Phil to spend the night at Adam’s. It was obviously the better option than bringing Adam back here to see a miserable, useless neko in the room. But Dan told himself that he deserved it. He deserved having to spend the night in the cage, deserved being abandoned, deserved everything for being so naive and careless by falling for his owner.

After spending the night trying not to drown in all his negative thoughts and failing, he finally exhausted himself enough to go to sleep. His rest was short-lived however, as Phil actually returned a while later.

He quickly sat back up when he heard footsteps padding towards the room. He listened for a second pair of footsteps, but it seemed like Phil was alone.

He squinted when the lights were turned on, and blinked as he looked up. Phil was staring at him from the doorway, and Dan’s heart ached when he saw the look of disappointment on Phil’s face.

“I’ll have you know,” Phil talked lowly as he approached Dan, “Adam invited me over to his place after dinner but I could never leave you overnight like this.”

Dan didn’t understand. Why, why would Phil rather go back to a dumb neko than spend his anniversary night at his partner’s place? But his heart ached further at the knowledge that Phil actually cared enough to come back for him. He was a merciful Master who wouldn’t leave his pet in a cage for even a night, even though it was common to let nekos spend their whole sad lives caged up. Dan whimpered, Phil was making it harder for him to leave this privileged life and start a new one with some heartless owner.

Phil crouched down to be eye level with Dan. “You ready to talk to me now?” he questioned.

Dan nodded pitifully, sniffling. Phil unlocked the cage, but Dan didn’t move. He remained sat cross legged near the entrance. He did start speaking, though.

“Why?”

“Why what?” Phil asked. When he saw that Dan wasn’t going to move, he sat cross legged at the cage door, facing Dan.

“Why’d you come back when- when you could’ve spent the night with your. Your boyfriend? Why d-do you still care about me? Y-you’re making it harder for me!” Dan stuttered, unable to stop himself from crying again.

“Harder for you? I don’t understand, Dan. Of course I still care about you,” Phil spoke softly, brows furrowed in confusion. He wanted to hug Dan, but Dan didn’t look like he wanted any physical contact in that moment.

“Stop,” Dan sniffled, “just st-stop pretending already, I know I’m. I’m just a slave and. I’m a useless one and- and. Does no one want to buy me? Is that why? Nobody wants to take me off your hands?”

Phil was stunned by what he just heard. “Dan...” he began, but Dan wasn’t finished.

“I’m sorry, Master,” he stopped crying; it was easy when he finally accepted his fate, “Sorry because I tried to be a good pet for you, but I wasn’t good enough. Sorry I’m just wasting your space and time here now. Sorry for making you care for me even though you don’t need me anymore.”

“Dan-”

“I’m sorry you have to spend your anniversary night here, with a lousy neko. I should spend the night in the cage, it’s what I deserve,” Dan continued, speaking so fast he lost his breath.

He paused and looked up into Phil’s eyes, and was surprised to see that Phil was tearing up.

“Dan,” Phil shook his head and gently placed his hand on Dan’s shoulder, “listen here. I love you, Dan. Okay, it may not be the same way I love Adam, but I still love and care for you so much. You are still more important to me than he is, even if it’s our anniversary. You think you’re being replaced by Adam? No, honey, no. You’ll never be replaced, I’ll never sell you off, understand?”

Phil stroked Dan’s cheek, and the touch calmed Dan slightly as he leaned into it.

“And you don’t deserve to be punished for longer than necessary, okay, no neko deserves that. Nekos don’t deserve to be slaves, and I’d never take advantage of you or treat you as just a servant. You are a good pet, you’re my good pet. I may not need you to “serve” me anymore, but I still want you. Your personality, your company. Your warmth, the way your dimples appear when I make you smile. I still want all of that, how could I ever throw all of that away- throw you away?”

Dan had slowly moved to sit in Phil’s lap as Phil spoke. Phil cradled Dan and swayed them slowly, feeling Dan’s tail wrap around his waist.

“You’re amazing, Dan. And I’m sorry, too. I’m so sorry for neglecting you the past month. I’m sorry for not sharing with you about Adam sooner, I should’ve eased you into it instead of just breaking the news to you the way I did. I haven’t been the best owner recently, but I promise I’ll take care of you. Just because Adam’s in the picture now doesn’t mean I would forget you.”

Dan smiled for the first time since he knew about Adam, and Phil was happy to see his dimples again. Dan looked up at Phil, his eyes glimmering with adoration. Phil smiled back and kissed his forehead.

“If you’re not fond of Adam, I understand. But I hope you’ll warm up to him. He really likes you, you know?” Phil said hopefully.

“He does? Even though I never talked to him?” Dan said, amused.

“Mm-hmm,” Phil nodded vigorously.

Six months later

“Wake up, sleepyhead.”

“Mmphh,” Dan groaned, curling around the warm body next to him tighter.

“It’s your turn to make breakfast!”

“Urghhh why can’t Adam do it!” Dan grumbled, headbutting the shoulder next to him.

“Hey, ‘twas your idea to make it a taking turns thing,” Adam mumbled and pulled the blanket over his head.

Phil chuckled at the sight before him. He would’ve just made breakfast himself, but Dan had insisted that every chore around the house should be done in turns just so he could still feel useful. Even though Phil assured him plenty of times that he was more than okay with having Dan just be the lazy and cute pet in their little family.

After a few more minutes, Dan got up and stumbled his way to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and let his mind wonder. Life is good. He may not be legally free of his slave status, but he is fortunate enough to live with not just one but two Masters who treat him with respect, shower him with love and care and spoil him more than any neko owner out there would.

Dan learned that his purpose in life wasn’t what the training centre brainwashed him into thinking. He wasn’t meant to merely be a servant, he was meant to bring happiness into his little family, to love and be loved. Just because he wasn’t doing what his status requires him to, it doesn’t mean he was of no use; he can still be cherished.

Sure, Phil may not love him the same way he loved Adam, but Phil still loved him and that was enough for Dan. He kept his promise on taking care of him and never leaving him. Dan felt so grateful to have him in his life.

He walked out of the bathroom and saw Adam still sleeping, his boxers still on the floor where it was thrown carelessly the previous night before they had sex. Dan smiled at the memory. He’d learned that the only thing more fun than pleasuring his Master, is getting to pleasure two Masters.

He entered the kitchen and saw Phil leaning against the counter, playing some game on his phone while waiting for the kettle to boil. Phil looked up when he heard Dan come in.

“Finally, you’re up!” Phil exclaimed, “I was about to just make breakfast myself.”

“You know you’re not supposed to do that! It’s my turn,” Dan tried to sound grouchy, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

“G’mornin,” Phil smiled back and kissed Dan’s forehead.

Technically, Dan is Phil’s - and now Adam’s - slave. But Dan is also the luckiest neko in the world.

I originally wanted to end it with angst where Dan actually does get sold off but. I can’t imagine Phil to be that heartless haha and I don’t like sad endings either so yay for happy ending ^^

[rhuemis]

13

13. Introduce your current party.

hoo boy so we got: 

-Scales

-Rhys

-Jeckyl

-Isiah

imma put the lengthy descriptions under a read more aha

Scales ((I dont think Scales even has a surname lmfao)):

-Warlock but insists that hes the party medic

-A white dragonborn that was born without scales due to a birth defect who has more than a few screws lose, calls himself a ‘doctor’ and we cant quite tell whether thats the truth or not

-Grew up in a brothel and now travels with the party to gain ‘medical knowledge’ whatever that means

-Has dissected the corpse of a literal god, harvests organs from whatever we kill and puts them all into bottles and then offers to transplant them into you if you get even remotely injured 

-Is already mildly possessed but then ate some of the tentacles from a weird squid god for fun and then got DOUBLE possessed and tentacles shot out of his mouth and we had to drag him to a temple 

-Something burst out of his chest one morning and now its his familiar. We were all stood at the door to his room like ‘This is Scales, this could just be part of his morning routine for all we know.’

- Speaks with a heavy German accent which makes anything Scales does like 4000 times better

-Isiah has literally promised his corpse to Scales

- Despite his quirks is protective of his party and deserves a pat on the snoot every so often

 Rhys Lignius

- Half-elf sorcerer that currently has more levels in warlock than sorcerer

- hes the mom friend of the group and is a pretty serious guy, hes the one who gets shit done but not before he monologues so hard that the rest of us party members say ‘oh fuck no im not listening to Rhys’ spiel again’

-Came from a very important family and is very proud of his Latian heritage, doesnt let you forget that hes a big fuckin deal lmao hes on a mission to do something in relation to his father but hes not quite spilled on exactly what yet, hes just trying to get to some ancient ruins

- Is so much of an actual loser that whenever he casts Prestidigitation he clicks his fingers and the whole party has started doing it back at him jokingly

-Despite being a square we all love him and hes probably the most reliable in the group. Lawful Good™.

-Flavours my bacon.

-Is the metaphorical designated driver of the party, cleans up after us shit monkeys.

-Is physically around 22 years old but might as well be 55 years old.

Jeckyl Corvus:

- Newest party member, a half-elf rogue that keeps getting cockblocked from actually stealing anything

-Wrote a really intense anonymous love letter to my character and slid it under his room door at a tavern a few years before the campaign started after watching him perform and recognises Isiah but Isiah doesnt realise it was him who wrote the letter yet

-Spent some time in gay baby jail for being part of a group of thieves that got bamboozled by a rich and powerful family and was abandoned by the people he thought of as family.

-Wanted to be a tailor in the years before his taste for adventuring kicked him in the nards. He ended leaving his family to go and explore but this decision ultimately ended up with his family being stripped of everything they had so now hes plagued by The Guilt™. Wants to eventually save/steal enough money to get his family back on it’s feet again.

-Rugged and handsome but the most important thing you need to know about Jeckyl is that he keeps a pet mouse in his pocket named Rupert and that one day Jeckyl wants to fucking transmute him into an owl or some shit because he just cannot be satisfied huh. ‘Oh Rupert was my only friend whilst I was living on the streets blah blah blah’ yeah sure tell that to his face whilst you go fuckin Fullmetal Alchemist on his ass. Love Rupert for the contents of his character, not his form smh.

-Acts suave and cool but loses all of that composure when it comes to Isiah. Would probably commit sepukku if Isiah died. 

-Has a lot of knives, which Scales finds ‘respectable’. 

-First combat fuckin crits the fish plant man that had Isiah grappled 15ft underwater out of sheer gay panic. RIP Shape of Water fish man, you’ll be sorely missed.

Isiah Vakalyn:

-My character so you know hes....really something. Half-elf bard.

-Comes from a weirdly strict family who were actually fucking cultists and were ((and probably still are)) planning on sacrificing him to a demon or some shit but Isiah didnt even notice this shit and still has no idea. He thought everybody was taught Infernal and that families were just like that. His family told him to become a bard and he obeyed. They told him study and he obeyed. They limited his interaction to the outside world and he only really started thinking for himself after he made his first proper friend who then also later fucked him over real bad.

-Ran away from home after being cucked by his “only friend” into maybe murdering her dad we dunno if he died or not but I sure did stab him a lot. She lied and told him she was being abused by her dad and Isiah saw red and agreed to her murder plot only to be abandoned midway through. He also pickpocketed for her for like a year beforehand bc she said she was poor. She was very not poor. Bring on the subsequent trust issues.

-Is a bard but hates getting attention so he wears a black rabbit mask when he performs in front anything that isnt a small crowd. He found that mask in his house so you know thats gonna be some spooky cult shit.

- Is only 5′4 and is very conscious of it. Luckily the party is very understanding and calls him ‘the halfling’ or ‘the midget’ lovingly to watch him implode.

-Once accidentally stole a dwarven baby. Named it Isiah jr.

-Has a pet eel named Illius who is the most fuckin talented eel you’ll ever find. He glows! He talks! He beats your ass at card games! Translates languages! We found him behind a door that was sealed by magic and was only opened after Isiah played the music notes on the map we found. Those notes were an exert of a song by the most famous of all bards, Rickus Astelyus. Lo and behold behind the door was a huge tanks with a heckin good boy inside and Isiah adopted him IMMEDIATELY. Loves bacon bits and scritches.

-Received an anonymous love letter a few years back that gives him major anxiety and literally avoids the city he got it from. RIP Jeckyl youre gonna have to talk to him about that, Isiah is oblivious and has no idea lmao.

- Loves to eat bacon and recently bought out the bacon from the local tavern. Feeds some to Illius because its what he deserves. He’s also currently carrying a fuckton of bread, cheese, jam, and flour. Food is practically his way of diplomacy as he gives some to whoever he meets. It’s almost like his way of nervous self-defence. When tentacles shot out of Scale’s mouth Isiah just started shovelling bread into the tentacles and Scales woke up feeling incredibly full lmao.

-Has also in his inventory: a gay erotica book, a romance novel in a language he cant read, a rainbow slinkie, a magic mood ring that gives him poison resistance, 6 wolf teeth, a wolf leg bone, some gems, 4 days worth of rations on top of all the food he already has, a violin, a flute, and a fancy lute that he found in Illius’ chamber.

-Hes just nervous but loud mouthed and contradicts himself a lot. Anxious and eccentric. Says that hes just a bard and wasnt meant for any kind of greater scheme but the universe has other plans.

-Was once dabbed at by the god of entertainment, Apollon. ((Apollon is the only god Isiah really cares about lmao)).

and despite him not being in the party anymore im gonna give honorary mention to my favourite skyrim-glitch-of-a-barbarian, Florys:

-Was the character of a guy who played with us for one session. At the beginning of the next session he was on webcam with us all and we were about to start playing when suddenly his camera cut out and he went offline and weve literally not seen from him since. He’s not been online in over a month now. Some common theories in our group is that hes off fighting ISIS or got arrested for weed right there and then.

-Due to this weird player disappearance our DM, Benjamin, had to take control of Florys whilst we looked for a new party member. In the session that the player disappeared from we didnt know if he was gonna come back or not so Benjamin had Florys suddenly contract a horrific stomach bug and was just in the tavern toilet presumably making a fuckin hole in the floor with the noise it apparently made lmfao Isiah actually had to try and play music over the top of Florys’ shitfest at one point and only just managed to drown the sound out. But as time went by days were eventually passing in the campaign and the player still hadnt come back so poor Florys was not having a great time in the bathroom for several DAYS.

-Eventually the DM realised that this player was not gonna come back and that the party was short on a tank so he started piloting Florys for a while to accompany us on our quest ((and miraculously recovering from his terrifying stomach illness)) but hed forgotten how the player said Florys was so just was making shit up on the fly. I specifically remember the original player of Florys saying ‘Oh Florys isn’t like those stereotypical dumb barbarians’ which is why I lost my shit when the Florys being piloted by the DM turned around and said ‘What the fuck is a triangle?’ ... Florys is practically brain-damaged at this point, I think it might be the DMs retribution for the player disappearing lmao

-Threw all of his hand axes into a river during one fight and then into a cieling the next, which provoked Isiah to jokingly call out: ‘Oh, Florys! You’re so handsome and cool!’ which Florys with his last 2 braincells took seriously. The handsome and cool line became an on-running meme and gets used whenever any of us fucks up lmao

-For some reason grew rlly attached to a piano he found in Illius’ chamber and carried it around with him out of two parts stubborness two parts piano LUST.

-We ended up using him as a mule to carry all of our heavy shit bc he’d just do it and he literally wouldn’t think anything of it.

-We found a giant birds nest and Florys for some reason picked it up and carried it away and got fucking kidnapped by a giant bird so now hes literally just in fucking sky somewhere sat in a birds nest and being flown around which is wild bc we expected the DM to just kill Florys but instead hes just in the fucking sky where he belongs. Like legit hes just sat in there. Hes just in the sky. Godspeed.

HEAVES I could write so much more but this is already incredibly lengthy so here take it

also @redthebattler idk if any of this would be interesting to you lmao