#i already talk to myself a lot. not ok to do that in public lol

[fantomette22]

Also kind of funny how people say i’m quite discreet and don’t talk a lot when i’m afraid i talk too much (maybe too loud or too fast) and afraid i ended up annoyed them. (Can smn explain pls xD)

anyway it’s late i apologize if it doesn’t make so much sense it is late)

[chompe-diem]

You seem similarly insane about Brian Murphy as I am and I love you I pay for a dropout subscription 70% because he's on it sometimes he makes my brain go crazy I'm not parasocial about this (but I am so close)

hiiiiiii hiiiii hello yes i'm super duper normal about brian murph murphy (lying hard!!) ur so valid anon, there's a lot of Great content on dropout but how much of it do i use to just rewatch the murph adventuring academy and the first 10 min of "it happened" adv party where they talk about murph murphing all over the dice? honest answer is: Too Much.

😔 it's embarrassing how long i've been stanning white boys but in my defence, uuhhhhhhhhh. look i just love someone who is just A Guy and then also knows a lot about stuff and also likes doing a lot of work. exactly my type. it's probably the gender envy idk

anyways yes i think murph is v cool and neat and i try to be a Normal Amount of Parasocial abt him but also he's just neat i think !!!!! he's an awesome dm and when he talks about dm-ing and d&d stuff i think he can say some pretty helpful things, even when the gang's bein silly! and he writes cool campaigns and plots and encounters and makes characters that aren't afraid to be sillysad or cringefail pathetic etc. and yes i like it when he's knowledgeable about mechanics and stuffffffff so anyways the conclusion is bRING MURPH BACK ONTO ADVENTURING ACADEMY- *gunshot*

no but pls just let him talk about stuff i just wanna hear him talk abt stuff just let him back on adventuring academy so i can have an hour of him (and brennan ig) talkin about his d&d dm stuff pls

[quarterdollar]

gabrielagresteofficial ultimate swag reveal

mmmmhey guys it’s meee i’m the one making all those poasts :)🦋 my name is victor and i ❤️ insane old people

i had this whole insane melodramatic idea to wait until season 5 ended to go public but i forgot show hiatuses exist and i’m starting to feel like an asshat letting everyone’s kind messages and tags go unacknowledged so here i ammm. i just want to say thank you to everybody who’s gotten a kick out of the blog, it really is fantastic to hear that i can make people laugh and that’s what i love to do most so i just wanted to let you all know that i appreciate everybody so much. it’s actually been an insanely bad year for me LOL but goofing around on the internet and having people enjoy the jokes and jests has been a net positive. you guys have been so sweet and it really does mean a lot.

i also just wanna say that there are a lot of you (2300+ like holy shit) and you guys send a lot of asks and i Love And Appreciate Them All. and if i don’t get to yours i PROMMY it is NOT personal i probably just couldn’t think of an in-character response that was as funny as the original question OR i was tired OR tumblr ate it. alas i am but one man roleplaying as a different, animated, much worse man

WHAT ELSE. uh. i’m constantly rotating gabriel’s hysterically flat french ass in my mind i do love him so much legitimately but i’m not really involved with the greater fanbase beyond like, talking to myself and tagging posts about him with the most insane bullshit the ops have probably ever read. my main fan thing is actually Pokemon, and surprise surprise all of my favorites from that are the various insane dad-aged fantasy terrorists. i have a type and it’s stupid as fuck and i’ve accepted this <4 please don’t think i’m an apologist though i’m just addicted to studying sillay cartoon freaks under a microscope

that’s all i really wanted to sayWait I just remembered i have 3 acknowledgements:

@wanderingaviator for being the blog’s first follower all the way back last year when i made it on a whim as a goof. THANKYOU for investing in small businesses

@sunfoxfic as i need to thank you for your endless enthusiasm and incredibly kind comments But Also i must now officially turn down your various marriage proposals. alas i am already happily committed to someone else but i am flattered nonetheless

@dupainchengisthenewblack for being my swag mutual. stay winning

okay now i’m done xoxo. thank you again everybody for your continued support of gabe’s tumblrina era i cherish you all immensely. this will be the first And last time gabrielagresteofficial breaks kayfabe so look forward to more erratically scheduled and incomprehensible evilposting in the future (i’m a lil burned out atm but he never leaves me don’t worry). ok thank’s bye

[reimenaashelyee]

ok, I've read your article on your website about creating a gn pitch. did you have to pitch Alexander to hiveworks to get it printed? also, was seance published thru hiveworks or another publisher?? how difficult is it to get a publisher to actually pick up your book and have it printed + distributed? sorry for so many questions lol. I have a lot more but I'll refrain for now

Feel free to send your questions but please do separate asks if they are somewhat different subtopics

Alexander

Alexander is a special circumstance because Hiveworks is actually where I work as a dayjob. Staff members and creators already part of Hiveworks can get their webcomics hosted/printed with no barrier should they choose to be picked up by the studio - though they still need to make a pitch document to check whether the content matches the editorial catalogue.

Before this though, I had shopped Alexander out to other traditional graphic novel publishers. Which didn't work out because 1) there is still no viable market for adult graphic novels that isn't political, educational or memoir, 2) Alexander is a risky book, cost-wise and content-wise, 3) I wanted it to be webcomic too, 4) pandemic

Seance Tea Party

Seance Tea Party (and My Aunt is a Monster) is through Random House Graphic, a kids/young adult graphic novel imprint of Penguin Random House - the largest traditional publisher globally. I am only stating this to situate the difference between Alexander and Seance's homes. Hiveworks is absurdly tiny, hyper-independent and almost entirely digital. Random House Graphic is part of a big ecosystem that almost all your favourite authors past and present are part of: bookstores, libraries Hollywood, TV adaptations, ads on the bus or magazines or radio, Oprah's book club, worldwide distribution...

About the difficulty, it really depends on your specific situation.

For starters, you really need to have some kind of record of being able to finish something (mini-comics, a decently sized (100 paged) webcomic)... or in the case of long, ongoing webcomics, the ability to maintain it.

This should be enough to get you to make an attempt for Hiveworks (or Webtoons/Tapas...). But then you also have to consider the genre, subject matter, "representation", length, style of the work you're pitching... all the things I talked about in my GN Pitch article. As I have hinted at Alexander failing at being picked up by traditional publishers, some comics are just not able to break in to certain markets due to a variety of factors. Adult graphic novels are still seen as risky by traditional large imprints, so you tend to see them more in indie publications - like Fantagraphics, D&Q, Selfmade Hero, First Second, Silver Sprocket... or webcomics. However, if you're pitching a kids or young adult book - especially in the memoir, queer contemporary romance, POC (tailored to Western lens, RIP) fantasy, educational genres - then you'll have a way better time.

You still have to look at the publishers and see if your vibes match theirs. Then if you're interested in opening up the option to pitch to traditional imprints (and add more credibility to your submission), you really really really NEED an agent. Some GN imprints like Ballantine or Alfred A Knopf do not accept submissions at all except through agents and known contacts. Pitching to an agent is a whole other barrier... though once you get that agent, you can almost entirely hand over the grueling work of shopping pitches to them.

I think, on average, breaking into publishing is moderately hard. But I cannot guarantee it. I know for myself and a friend of mine, we broke into it easy: we got our agents quickly and secured our first book deals through major traditional publishers - though we had almost a decade of webcomics experience and community presence to back that up. Then for most of my peers/friends, it's months and months of rejection, no answers, editors/agents telling them their work is not for the market etc. Some of them overcome those troubles. Some of them become sick of it and go full independent self-published. Speaking of, there are still options outside of the mainstream. You can engage specialised, single-purpose services like White Squirrel to distribute, or Mixam to print your comics. You can host your work online and gain your own readership through updates, festival appearances, etc.

Again, it really depends on what you want to do, what your work is about, and the fallbacks you have. Please do your research, and prepare your strategies, and approach pitching with a realistic, pragmatic lens. Hope for the best, expect the worst. Everything above your must-have is a bonus.

[hughungrybear]

Me watching Dangerous Romance Ep.7:

1. I'm excited! Who's excited? We'll finally know the aftermath of the kiss. I mean, after Kanghan explicitly told Sailom that all he feels for him is guilt, how would he explain the kiss??? 😤😤😤

2. Waaaaait, hold up. Is grandma sick??? Also, Sailom is back in Kang's house eating dinner with the family but the two still seems a whole lot of awkward with each other. 😶

3. Oh, so Kang and Sailom didn't get to talk? Dammit, Guy and Auto. Also, that's no fair, Kang - telling Sailom you don't want to see him with anybody else but still have not retracted the part that all you feel is guilt and pity for him.

4. I almost forgot that they have connected bedrooms via a shared bathroom. Oooh, the possibilities lol 😅😅😅

5. Kang: "Give it to me straight". Me: "He can't. He is gay/bi." 😂😂😂 Yeah, I'll see myself out 😅😅😅

6. I laughed when Kang asked if Sailom wants to be his boyfriend. I mean, really? Really? Just the previous episode you were ready to punch Sailom for breaking Pimfah's heart and has also broke his heart in the process. No apologies? No backsies?? WTF. 😭😤

7. It's awfully quiet back there that if I'm the car driver, I would be suspicious 😂😂😂 Also, look at Kang's smile when Sailom opened the (bathroom) door for him.

8. Okay, Kang being completely honest about his feeling for Sailom is 😭😭😭😭 but his way of flirting is 😅😅😅😅😅 .

Guys, I died laughing. I already ascended to heaven (or descended to hell, am not really fussy about these things lol)

9. On the bright side, having Kang as a boyfriend means Sailom (and his friends) will never be hangry as he kept buying food/feeding Sailom tasty treats lol

10. Oooh, so Kang decided to start gaining Sailom's friends' trust by bringing them food? What are Guy and Auto, alley cats??? Lol.

11. Oh no! Grandma, be well 😭😭😭 Why were you lifting heavy objects? You are rich! Call someone to do it for you next time 😭😭😭

(Sidenote: My Grandma did something similar. She went ahead and used a ladder to change a lightbulb in her house but the ladder collapse under her weight and she hit her hip. After that, her hip deteriorated as she did not go to a doctor because she didn't want to 'waste' money. She was never able to regain her ability to walk and had to use a wheelchair until she died.)

12. Lightning striking just as Saifah swearing that he will never manipulate Kang's grandma to buy him things is peak comedy 😂😂😂 Also, yeah I don't trust Saifah. No offence but he hasn't done anything (in this series) that paints him as trustworthy lol

13. I forgot that Sailom's fave dish is grilled fish and veggies. But how did Kang know? Lol. See, told you Kang is treating Sailom's friends like pets 😂😂😂 Ngl though, I would have eaten the snacks and still not trust Kang to pull a prank or two lol

14. Wait, did Pimfah really asked Kang or is that an excuse? Also did they tell Pimfah about what is happening them or did they just let her figure things out? 😑

15. I would ignore the fact that Kang raided Sailom's drawers (without asking, mind) to get that shirt, but focus on his relentless cheesy flirting in a public transportation lol

16. Another sidenote: I cannot believe, not even for a second, that Kang's noodle is NOT spicy. For better or for worse, authentic Thai food is almost always spicy even without the chilis. Lol. Also, not related to the plot or story, if it's available in your local Asian grocery and don't mind spicy food, try the MAMA and MAMA OK instant noodles (esp. the salted egg flavour).

17. Tbf, I don't think it is just the spicy noodles. I doubt Kang has any experience shopping in a crowded public market. I mean, as a kid, my mum also used to drag me to our country's Chinatown market (because that's where all the cheap goods are) to shop and hated every minute of it because of the crowd, the heat, and the smell of wet goods exposed under the hot sun.

18. Auto: "We are not down to earth. We are just dirt poor". Harsh, but extremely accurate lol

Also Auto: We don't mind that (Kang spending money on them). Throw it all you want. We're all for it. Throw it this way. Screw dignity! Keep throwing! Don't hold back! 😂😂😂😂

19. Kang's road to romance is a bit rocky. It's a given that Auto and (more specifically) Guy will have a difficult time trusting Kang after the bullying incident in the first episodes. However, Kang's friends are also bonafide a**holes, even without Kang's prompting. 😅

20. Where is my Guy and Nava ship??? I swear if GMMTV does this like they did TiwPor in MSP (as if an afterthought), I WILL RIOT. 😤😤😤

21. Wait a freaking minute. These are high school students. I'm not saying I was a saint at that age, but I drunk beer in the privacy of my friend's backyard lol. Pretty sure underage drinking in a public place like a bar is illegal even in Asia.

22. It turns out, Auto is the worst kind of drunk lol. Also, I believe Chimon when he said Sailom cannot dance. You'll understand if you have seen an episode of the School Rangers 😂😂😂😂

23. Uhm, Miss, stop grinding. He is gay. Lol.

24. I mean, alcohol is not the best relationship starter, but if it will set my GuyNava ship to sail, I will take it (as long as everything is consentual, ofc) 😅😅😅

25. See, it is illegal. But Auto, learn to run faster, gawd dammit. Also, what would happen to Kang? Will his father scold him? I highly doubt it since they have been painting the man as "doting" to the point that Kang cannot disappoint him because he does not expect anything great or good from Kang. However, this might ruin his political dreams, so we'll see.

26. The dad finally getting angry with Kang only because it can potentially ruin his election run is all kinds of messed up. 😑

27. At this point, Sailom has displaced Kang as the favourite grandson lol

28. Ugh, Saifah. What are you planning??? Don't ruin this for Sailom 😭😭😭😭

29. Oof. The cheerleader outfits are cute. They look like Sailormoon's transformation outfit. 😍

30. Why are you flirting in front of everyone's salad, Kang? 😅😅😅 You have a game to play. Focus. 😆😆😆

31. I know people have been pointing out the similarities between this series and BBS. I guess the true test of acceptance is when your bff learns to play well together with your (not-yet) bf in a football match 😂😂😂

32. Kang being anxious that Guy (and Auto) will never like him for missing that goal is 😔😔😔 Also, I commend Guy (and Auto) for being so sharp, it hurts lol. Unlike some "friends" (looking at you, Wai) 🙄

Officially boyfriends!!! Will Kang ramp up his cheesy flirting? Also, Saifah being on Ms Ging's medical team CANNOT be a good thing. The man is not above stealing from patients. I can smell trouble.

[starsunfirelight]

Ok so

I was too scared to post this before, but I think I'm going to do it now:

inspiration to finally post this:

a channel I watch all the time at the end of the year/when I remember/when it gets recommended to me lol

finally validated my opinions, when I thought I was alone

then someone in the comments mentioned a different channel so I thought i'd check it out:

and things started making a lot of sense. it's like this one person had the common sense that I could feel was missing from seemingly everyone I interacted with (watch videos) on the internet.

So I watch this:

after another video, and it's one I'd been meaning to watch a lot sooner, but it's been in my watch later for a long time and I guess it just got buried and I forgot about it lol

I never really check the watch later playlist unless I'm really bored and it's something I remember

(I am 100% a Spooky girl by the way (though for a different- I guess not directly but I have the vibes and those are things that I would do if it wasn't for the fact that I can't for some reason (yes I see the hypocrisy here but trust me on this)) and have been aware of it this whole time and it's also the exact type of person that I really hate and I think the word for it for the general public is "poser") (which is way more accurate to what I am imo)

(but like I get where they're all coming from and hope that they can all move on and get a more happier life where they can commit :> not sure what (face expression in the form of an emoticon/emoji) to put here but oh well )

but anyways, here we go!

(copy and pasted from my notes app) (wrote in the style of a YouTube video (at least at first) bc I am not original or creative but I just wanted to have fun lol) (more like have fun complaining and it was really bothering me and I just had to get it out there somehow) (I legit listened to this song for like 3 days straight until I had memorized all of the lyrics before the song would finally leave my head. :[ ) (again with the face thing, wanted to indicate mildly sad but frustrated not disappointed)

thoughts from today:

(the sentiment is totally taken straight from the comment section of the above videos and her performance with the cake being all messed up on SNL recently)

oliv (sic) is good and bad at the same time, but she’s getting better :)

I got target audience hit so hard like wow

olivia needs to learn to “kill” what she doesn’t like and go all in on being herself, :) it’s already happenin :)

still totally hate her producer by the way, if not specifically for these songs

like Blake put 90's(? idk I forget exactly it's been a while since I went obsessively looking for every single reaction video to her new song to see if anyone out there had the same opinion as me, but more as a way to see what opinon I "should" be having which sounds insane, I know, but I can't/ok couldn't help it and now I realize this is just high school glorified 😔 (ok real last edit so far (haha take that edits later) this was something I only begun to notice starting from Casually Explained's video (found via a hasanabi clip on my recommended who I clicked on bc of QT(he's a podcast host with her and his takes are so bad they're funny but I only know found out (have a better idea of now that I grew up more) they're bad because of other streamers but anyways-) https://youtu.be/MspHbnfEGno?si=KiiMRDYPIc9TK-TF) (here's a link to the original full video: https://youtu.be/l4Ioj4BA6N0?si=gUQ3ZeoyZ3DcGXLy) and then this one https://youtu.be/pII6mLdNawk?si=EWSF_g8Pl0fLOXHG and finally make the connection here myself lol)) but anyways put those drums on the track as a backing and it sounded SO MUCH BETTER than the original

so like yeah she definitely has the spirit, she just needs to talk to the right people, trust and learn from them, and have more people say "no" to her.

like seriously, and then she'll be really good!

like I mean it, her tracks are SO CLOSE to being really good, and I can see the idea behind them, that it makes me a little mad

all it needs is just a little creativity, or at least someone who really knows what they are doing and how to best implement it

like people think the production on the 1989 vault tracks left something to be desired and started making their own mixes, and I think that's what people should do with some of olivia rodrigo's music too! ok but like pretty isn't pretty was pretty much perfect so don't mess with that one lol

and also why I think the live performances sometimes sound so much better than the recorded version lol

y'know what? that could be a solution right there!

If you're bad at mixing, just do it live! Then it's all better anyways lol

haha ok time to let you guys see what I wrote when this song came out lol

like I really didn't want to be "that person" who complained about the thing that every teenager loves right now, but now I see that my complaints were valid because it's just a matter of opinion, and it's not the reason I was so mad lol (ok maybe like 0.01% but like I've been through this before and didn't hate the thing that was popular, maybe I was jealous? idk but still my complaints were mostly not for that reason, let's say lol (was looking for 😥 but couldn't find it lol - me from later, still editing this by only adding comments as I think the original should be preserved as much as possible bc it's interesting to look back at ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) 😓😢😭💀👍🙂🐛✨ (man your recently used emojis really tell you a lot about your personality huh))

ok but anyways

here we go lol

the time is from when it was last edited on the notes app

August 3, 2023 at 18:10

hi

hey guys! So, today we’re going to be talking about 4 time Grammy winning musician Olivia Rodrigo’s latest hit single, vampire. This song reached number #1 on the Billboard hot 100 last week, and that’s almost to be expected of an artist like her. It also took YouTube by storm, (since it was sponsored, in part, haha, though I doubt it wouldn’t have blown up anyways) and I’m pretty sure it’s really popular on TikTok as well. (though I wouldn’t know, because I spend all of my time on YouTube shorts instead, lol) Ok now, personally, I liked her last album Sour, so I was excited to see what new song she came up with next! So, curious to see what it was, I checked it out on the trending page and… suffice to say, I was a little disappointed. I mean, it had such good parts, and musically, it was nice and I could tell what she was trying to do, but I mean, lyrically, I just felt like it could be better. Like, I’ve heard Taylor Swift songs in the past, and even if you don’t like her style, you’ve gotta admit she’s really good at writing lyrics. Not only does she convey her thought with such vivid imagery and a poetic stricture, but the words sound really nice to listen to as well. I’m not an English major, so I can’t go into too much depth there, but I’m sure there’s a lot of videos out there that can explain what I mean here. And as a personal anecdote, my 7th grade class was given her lyrics to Red to analyze for an assignment lol. So I mean, there’s one frame of reference for you guys, haha. But getting back to Vampire, her lyrics on there just don’t feel the same. I know they aren’t supposed to, but in its place they should adopt her own style. But to me, it just feels a bit… idk childish? I know I’m not that much older than her, but still. (Turns out she was 19 when she wrote this, which makes so much sense now, and that’s basically still a kid lol.) Taylor and Demi Lovato have both written great lyrics when they were both around her age. But, Taylor is kind of a lyrical poet, and Demi probably had a lot of help, since I looked on the Genius page and it said the song I want to compare later was cowritten by Nikki Williams, who was 25 at the time. So it’s a bit unfair to compare, but we’ll see.

Musically, I maybe I just don’t get pop opera, but I think the transition from piano to full on pop song is cool, but feels a bit misplaced. Like, it sounds like a good idea in concept, but I don’t know if it translated well. (as maybe she or the producer might have hoped.) But aside from that, maybe it’s just me but I think she liked the bridge-like(? idk just guessing here based off of my own feeling) chorus a bit too much, that she ended up relying on it to make the song great. Don’t get me wrong— musically, it’s a great part, and she should definitely be proud of herself for coming up with it as she did, but do you really have to repeat it 3 times?? I can definitely say that that it’s the key defining highlight of the song, but when you repeat it so much, it sounds tiring and overused. Imo People don’t care if you repeat the chorus a lot, because the chorus is almost meant to be repeated, but I really think that it sounds a bit too same when it’s repeated in this context. The beginning too, now that I mention it. But hey, this part could just be my own personal preference, and that’s valid too, I guess, since it’s just my opinion lol. 

And also, I heard someone say that the instrumental at the end left them wanting more, and I agree that it felt like it ended abruptly, and either it should have ended sooner, or maybe padded out a bit more? idk, but the ending just felt abrupt.

But I do have to say, I really liked the bridge part, and the rest of the song after. I just wish the whole song was good! I mean, imo they should have gone harder on the dramatic angle of it all, like maybe have her in black and white with red lipstick at the piano or something. Extend the craziness of her mind, even if she wasn’t? I don’t know haha, I don’t relate to the song, so this again this is probably just a personal preference. (lol Otto)

Especially the “girls your age know better” part was fire!!!! :)

Also, it sounds kind of like her previous songs, but that’s not really anything to worry about imo, because all artists are a bit privy to that, she said that’s what she was going for, in which case she nailed the “same but kinda different” kind of thing, and it’s not a bad thing imo.

But, I guess, now it’s time to look at the ;lyrics. (warning, I think some of it is childish and a bit cringe. if not, just hoping it could be better :(. )

Now, I know that writing good lyrics really doesn’t have to do with age, but more about your own maturity, and your maturity as a writer. I know it’s a bit unfair to compare as I made those comparisons before, but if you look into the lyrics a bit, hopefully you’ll start to see what I mean.

without further ado, here we go…

I ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴛɪsғᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ Asᴋɪɴɢ, “Hᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ɴᴏᴡ?” “Hᴏᴡ’s ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀsᴛʟᴇ ʙᴜɪʟᴛ ᴏғғ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ?” Jᴜsᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ Lᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴄᴏᴏʟ ɢᴜʏ, ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ɪᴛ

Ok, so this isn’t too bad, (now after listening about 100 times I like the first 4 lines! :D) but “Lᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴄᴏᴏʟ ɢᴜʏ, ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ɪᴛ” sounds a bit playful, if not childish. If she’s taking on a childish tone on purpose because she’s still very “naive” as she mentions later, then I have to commend her for her genius. But also, it might show up unintentionally, as she mentioned that this song just came out of her head one day after a bad experience, so as a child, this might be just how she thinks, and on the spot, this is what she thought of. It makes me kind of miffed, and it’s a bit hard to listen to, but you can’t really blame her at the end of the day. Plus it sounds kind of cool! :D lkokolololol <- me on no sleep

I sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴇs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪᴀᴍᴏɴᴅs sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ᴡʜᴇɴ I ᴄʟᴏsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴇʏᴇs Sɪx ᴍᴏɴᴛʜs ᴏғ ᴛᴏʀᴛᴜʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏʟᴅ ᴀs sᴏᴍᴇ ғᴏʀʙɪᴅᴅᴇɴ ᴘᴀʀᴀᴅɪsᴇ I ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʀᴜʟʏ Yᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ʟᴀᴜɢʜ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴜᴘɪᴅɪᴛʏ

Yo, can we take some time to take in the scenery? No? Ok, I guess that’s ok, and I’lll be in my own corner doing that I guess, lol :D (also comes up later, but that point it’s slow and I think it’s— you’ll find out later :))

Again, it’s fine, maybe trying a bit too hard, but the one thing that makes me mad is “stupidity”. It sounds so childish compared to the rest of the lyrics there, and I can’t think of a better lyric off of the top of my head, but I just know I wouldn’t use that word there— it gives me the ick, if you know what I mean.

it has real “they ask you how you are, and you just have to say you're fine when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it, because they would never understand.” vibes lol.

here’s the chorus!! (though it feels like a bridge imo until the last two lines, but maybe that’s just the genre haha)

<3 love it sm omg !!! heart heart heart!!! :)

‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ I’ᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʙɪɢ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғɪɴᴇ I sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ’ᴠᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ Yᴏᴜ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ

I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I ᴡᴀs sᴍᴀʀᴛ Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ sᴏ ɴᴀɪ̈ᴠᴇ Tʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛs As ʏᴏᴜ sᴜɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ Oʜ, ʙʟᴏᴏᴅsᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ, ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴄʀᴜsʜᴇʀ

Bʟᴇᴇᴅɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴅʀʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ … ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ

mentions the theme at the end, yay! lol like it wasn’t present before haha

and here comes my theory that the management wanted this part to take off on TikTok all along, because it’s really good (musically imo) but didn’t really put as much attention on the rest? Like girl, I thought we were on the same page about hating songs only made for TikTok! really short, and only having one good part, like you can tell! 

Like “If We Ever Broke Up” by Mae Stephens is the perfect _counter_ to this argument, because it got popular on TikTok and every part of that song is catchy and good, and I think the whole song is perfect. But then again, it’s also kind of short, but also I don’t think it needs to be longer, because then it’s overdone. 

But maybe the way Vampire was written was just because it was difficult to come up with! Idk, but I think it could really be due to anything, and I can’t say for sure, I know that. But anyways, I think lyrically, it’s a bit weak. and the ending made me want to listen to it more, which is a TikTok move, but also just because the song has some really good parts in it, which is just because the song is nice and not a TikTok move I don’t think haha :)

Honestly, “‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ I’ᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʙɪɢ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs” has kind of the same energy as “For one day, one day / I was really, really, really, really sad” by One Whole Day by Dixie D’Amelio. And she didn’t even write that song!

and so every time I hear that lyric, I get kind of cringe, it’s a bit sad. :( lol

but now I don’t mind after listening to it for like the 100th time lol

Moving on…

“Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғɪɴᴇ” this line is fine, and it would probably be fine among a sea of other lines that are better, but even still, it would be the weakest out of those lines, but satisfying nonetheless.

This song may be musically satisfying, but lyrically, it’s not. (edit, again, after listening to it about 100 times, I now don’t care about most of it but “dream crusher” still sounds cringe, but the go version probably isn’t.) I may not understand the pain, and I understand that in the middle of writing this song, she was probably thinking about her own emotional pain and not really caring about the lyrics, so I get why it’s like this, and I don’t mind one bit, because that’s her song. And, I mean, She probably wouldn’t have released it of she didn’t like it. haha, unless she was rushed? idk. probably not though!

But still, if you take that aspect away, it’s a bit hard to visualize, appearing weak at times, with a tell not show kind of approach, and at other times it feels like she’s trying too hard, giving the whole song an amateur kind of feel. But Sour wasn’t like this, and I just can’t get why. Like good 4 u had a lot of repetition too, but that was fine, because it felt like that part that was repeated was _meant_ to be repeated, and it was satisfying when it did. You knew what to expect, and it was a little predicable but that was fine. It was nice, even. But this song feels predictable in a kinda bad way, and I don’t really understand why. :(

Ok, back to looking at the lyrics, lol.

“I sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ’ᴠᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ Yᴏᴜ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ”

These lines are fire, and I like them. :) Not trying too hard, but not too weak either. It’s great :)

“I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I ᴡᴀs sᴍᴀʀᴛ Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ sᴏ ɴᴀɪ̈ᴠᴇ”

These lines make it sound like she still is very much naive, even if she didn’t mean it to sound that way. It’s also very her, especially in the way that she phrased it while singing, so I have to give her credit for that. Maybe this one is just a personal preference, for me lol Like maybe it rings true for her because it was and it’s just something that I’ve never thought about lol :)

Listening back, it sounds more like a facepalm than anything.

More lyrics…

“Tʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛs As ʏᴏᴜ sᴜɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ”

Ok, this part just sounds like she is trying too hard, which just makes me sad :(

Like I get imagery, for imagery’s sake, and like she really wanted to make this work, but still, I believe you’ll find the right balance someday as you mature as an artist and a person! :D I believe in you!!! <3

“Oʜ, ʙʟᴏᴏᴅsᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ, ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴄʀᴜsʜᴇʀ”

“Bʟᴇᴇᴅɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴅʀʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ … ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ”

 I like this part, especially the rhythmic feel to it as the song speeds up later. I think the clean version is a bit silly though, and having the not clean version in the second line really delivers the impact. Though that same impact isn’t really felt for me in the first line, and “ʙʟᴏᴏᴅsᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ” had more impact than when she used the bad word I think trying to have an impact (but that could also be just because I don’t know the context of that word, or it just sounds weird coming from a child like her, not really understanding the power that that word holds, but still wants people to take her seriously and think of her as a person who uses that word like “I’m not the kid that you think I am”). Haha, at this point I think she has more impact when she writes from the heart and isn’t trying lol. But that could be totally untrue, but it would be funny lol.

“Aɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ɢɪʀʟ I ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴀʟᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ Tᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʙᴀᴅ, ʙᴀᴅ ɴᴇᴡs Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ Gᴏᴅ, I ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ I ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ ᴛᴏᴏ Yᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ sᴏ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄɪɴɢ”

This sounds like classic high school drama from one perspective, but like her friends really care about her, from another. 

Musically, I wish it was more different than the opening, but I guess changing the beat kind of does that haha. It’s not bad, I guess. :0

“Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ғʟɪɴᴄʜɪɴɢ?”

What does this mean? Is this just there for the rhyme?

Like, if you’re only going for rhyme, I found this in the BuzzFeed article I was reading earlier of of curiosity “"Maybe then we could pretend / There's no gravity in the words we write / Maybe you didn't mean it / Maybe "blonde" was the only rhyme."” -Skin by Sabrina Carpenter

which I thought was way better lyrics than most of Olivia Rodrigo’s entire song Vampire. Just looking at the lyrics, and has nothing to do with their personal relationship, as I don’t really know about that.

But then again, maybe I was just too harsh, and this is just a reference to something that I don’t understand. Like I wouldn’t personally think about “flinching” when it comes to lying unless it was under a very specific context, but maybe that’s what Olivia Rodrigo is hinting at here, without explaining the whole story.

“(Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ? Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ? Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ?)”

Initially I thought Again, trying a bit too hard here, or maybe it didn’t really come across, but I like the idea that they were going for. 

But after reanalyzing the line before this, it makes more sense in that context, and also explains why she would be really hurt here. Especially because she repeats the line a lot, maybe meaning that he lied multiple times and really hurt her to make her want to repeat that line that much.

“Oʜ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴍᴇsᴍᴇʀɪᴢɪɴɢ, ᴘᴀʀᴀʟʏᴢɪɴɢ, ᴛʀᴀɢɪᴄ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛʜʀɪʟʟ Cᴀɴ’ᴛ ғɪɢᴜʀᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ Aɴᴅ Gᴏᴅ ᴋɴᴏᴡs I ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ Wᴇɴᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴇʀ ‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ ɢɪʀʟs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀɢᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ”

This part is nice, “Oʜ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴍᴇsᴍᴇʀɪᴢɪɴɢ, ᴘᴀʀᴀʟʏᴢɪɴɢ, ᴛʀᴀɢɪᴄ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛʜʀɪʟʟ” is kind of a lot to say at once, but I can respect it, it’s kind of like a emotion cake lol. “‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ ɢɪʀʟs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀɢᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ” :) those two last lines remind of her last album, and she does it so well here. :)

The bridge and chorus again sound epic with the increased tension from the instrumental :)

“Yᴏᴜ sᴀɪᴅ, “Iᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ”, ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅ? Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ, ‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ I ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴜᴛ, ɴᴏᴡ I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ I ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ’s ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪɴɢ I’ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ”

Now this really feels like her old album, and I really like this part :)

It’s really good, maintains her style lol, and no notes from me here :)

this part emotion makes up for aaall of the lyrics haha :)

or maybe that’s the lyrics? rhythm? idk, I just like this part, haha :)

“Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ, ‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ” especially goes hard, and she’s finally writing in a way that’s not only really good poetry but sounds good to hear! I’m so glad! But she doesn’t have to do this if she doesn’t have to, I just think it’s cool that she did it here, haha

At first I was like did you really have to repeat the iconic part a third time? or is it the chorus at this point? Or was it all along? (yes) :thinking: emoji, but after a while, it’s not that bad. It rocks! And only listening to the last part of the song is epic!!!!!! :D the leadup, however it was executed, was worth it, haha :)

Overall, this song is not bad, great at times, even, but I just wish it was better because I get frustrated at its potential, especially because it reminds me of other songs that are really great at times like Heart Attack by Demi Lovato, and I really love that song, and it makes me frustrated that this song isn’t that one :(. After the “‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ’s ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪɴɢ I’ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ” I’d often go into the chorus from Heart Attack lol :).

But seriously, Like, I get your range is limited, and it’s all about holding in that tension and not letting it go until the line drops (you know the one), but would it kill mainstream music to not hover around the same three notes every time? I’ve noticed it was a problem since Halsey’s “Without Me”, where I really felt that, (editor me from now stepping in to say that I didn't think of this, I just held it in my brain from another youtube video that I had watched years ago but then thought I should "agree" with it without really knowing about what I really thought (based on actually listening to the music) myself lol but then again I did notice it a bit more after I had it pointed out to me, mostly in Halsey - Without Me and Katy Perry - Never Really Over but that last one kinda I had the thought myself a bit at first but then I watched another youtube video and they really pointed to it there as the "death of pop music" but maybe not necessarily with the repeating/range I think idk it was a long time ago and I also liked Paramore - Hard Times a lot at this time but anyways) but maybe it’s just a stylistic choice that I got frustrated by lol, and in general all music isn’t like that. idk about this to say any more.

alright, I think that’s all of my thoughts about this song. ok bye! have a good night/day! :)

Oh wait one more thing. I want to address stan culture, the thing that I wanted to make this video about the most. You see, if you’ve noticed, on the comment section of this song, in most places that I looked, it was hard to find a single comment that was even sightly negative. Now, this could just mean that it’s a good song, but given the complaints I just had that I talked about earlier, it was hard for me to believe that was the case. In fact, that was what kind of started this whole thing, lol. But then, as I looked a bit further on the reviews for the iTunes store, I saw that there were a few people that had the same complaints as I did. There were very few “nope”/“bad song”’s. You don’t like the song? Maybe you’re just not a fan of the genre as a whole, and that’s ok. It’s always (I think) ok to have an opinion. It’s too “copy and paste”? Not original, but still good? Yeah ok, but still, they didn’t comment on whether it was bad or good, and the others admitted it was still good. idk if it’s good to copy and paste or not, but it might e subconscious, and imo who cares (besides the record labels) (as long as you give credit) because it can end up with some really fun music out of it! :) The other comments said it was rushed and it sounded like an amateur. This is something that I kind of talked about in the section before, and if it’s true then I really hope she gets better! :) And a few people were like “meh”, essentially, and still though admitted it was good in some way. So, I guess most of the internet agrees it’s good, just some of us hoping for better. 

Now, the really interesting part happened when I looked at another video by a different artist, for just another reason, not really related to this, just kind of happened to see it by chance. It was Taylor Swift’s Anti Hero lyric video, and in the comments, most of them were positive too. But, they were positive in a different way. Both positive, don’t worry :)

Taylor: I love the lyricism, even if you don’t like her you gotta admit it’s good, I relate heavily to this, and just generally pointing out a certain lyric that they like, with some fans just being a fan of the artist. But most people I think were there just () for the song.

Olivia: Kind of the same vibes, but more people liking “omg olivia you’re awesome I can’t believe you did this so proud of you!” which is great but also can lean towards stan behavior (:/), and also “I just love how she sings with emotion”. :) and occasionally “that one line hits really hard.” (hey, I said that too! glad we agree :)) (editor me here to say that I took those comments to heart and formed my own opinion after hearing theirs) But there were also people who were like “I really resonate with this song” “thank you for helping me get through a tough time” and feeling cathartic, which is really nice to see :’)

So, future fans, I advise you to be civil, and maybe not just blindly support your favorite artist because you like them as a person or like their past work. This is just a reminder, just because you like an artist, or even just one song by an artist, doesn’t mean you have to like every sing one of their songs, or go to great lengths to defend them of any wrong lol. You should personally not be responsible for the financial success of your favorite artist. Just tell your friends, but if they’re not into it, leave it alone, chill. If you like it, then you buy the song. If you like it, you listen to the song. that’s really it.

just be happy :)

just be you :)

it’s ok to have an opinion! even if it’s different from people that you love! (unless it’s a super serious important one that’s just mean or something, then hopefully you can try to respect others even if you don’t agree, and try to see other’s pov I hope again unless it’s really bad)

otherwise the world would be boring lol (I mean about having different opinions from one another)

also absolutely no hate to the teens and people that needed this song the most <3 hope you’re ok 😭👍

ohh maybe 

(I feel a disconnect with this song) bc teens relate to this song and I’m not a teen anymore. ok, yeah, that explains a lot haha. :0 :)

I’ve always wanted to let the world “let teens be teens”, and give them a lot of love as they grow up, and it looks like it’s finally happening :)))

this song is addictive fs, at least it definitely is/was for me

also it’s funny how she was a fake celeb and now she’s a real internet celeb, and that’s funny lol

I don’t have to like this song, nor do I have to force other people to like it too.

teens like it. let em be.

(ok editor me here, this is the part where I was jotting down random thoughts as I had them, kind of like a notebook lol)

y’know I like this song but I feel like it’s missing something…

I just feel like if she used jazz chords instead of the normal boring generic ones she’s already used before, it could be a much cooler song! Like driver’s license was meant to be generic, and the chords work well there, but this feels like it could use something more!!!!

Oh, ok, I see the Queen inspo now. (editor me, this was in response much later to reading a comment that said so lol, bc I didn't hear it at first lol)

Also explains why everyone likes it, haha xD

it’s like her own style combined with their’s

Like songs

Heart Attack

Some piano ballad - Queen, Taylor Swift

Senorita

Paramore

Avril Lavigne

Gothic/Victorian

Emo - the last two lines of the chorus

Birthday - Katy Perry

ABBA, duh!

Miley Cyrus

BTR (I think, probably just the vibes of the genre)\

Lewis Capaldi

used to ba a sad boy with (idk just lyrics) are jepson era

Without Me - Halsey ^

Pink

Linkin Park

it needs more 💖aesthetic 💓💝💘!!!! ❣️💝❤️‍🩹(couldn’t find the sparkles lol)

Piano Ballad/Queen

(editor me, this is where I pasted the original lyrics and jotted down some of my thoughts there lol, so it's kind of like a "behind the scenes" of the YouTube video lol)

(editor me, but also more of in the notebooks vein where it's what I "cut out" from the video lol to stay on topic/not make it too long winded but here I am writing about it here lol (gosh I really hated part of this song, and I still kinda do, and I'm not going to deny it/hide it anymore because that is what I feel is the right thing to do) (but like not going to bring it up when nobody asked lol, except I guess this could be different lol since _I_ asked and I can post whatever I want as long as I think it's ok and hopefully not being unfair/mean 😥))

(editor me here, also this was me desperately trying to find what this reminded me of, and I was struggling really hard here lol (still am kinda miffed about that, but I chose to accept it and move on after I calmed down caring about this song lol, who knows maybe I'll start looking again by listening to more songs about (I mean in!) that era, haha (*insert indescribable emotion here*) (by me rn at least, :/)))

(editor me from a little later, also went back and saw that I was trying to improve it, so I guess that these were my initial frustrations with the song, or might have been from either before or after or both from when I wrote the whole YouTube video

ok I definitely remember coming back and adding to the list OFTEN as I thought of more, plus I looked up the lyrics in the process of writing the YouTube video, so I guess it was after, after all :) (me being happy I figured it out, NOt being happy about the song >:( ok I'm not that mean (or am I? 🤨 sounds fun actually lol) but didn't want it to be the sad emoticon :( <- ok now I'm a bit sad about the situation, again not the song lol (I don't think? maybe? I mean I suppose since I did say I was a bit sad earlier and I think I still feel that way about the song plus it's a "sad" song so...) (ok stop writing now the sleepiness is really kicking in right about now) )

)

(editor me again, I know you said stop but this is the last one I think, yeah I definitely found the lyrics again and pasted them here _after_ I was done writing my whole video up there, just so I could analyze them in the way that I mentioned before lol)

(still editor me here yeah and I would re paste certain parts and they reminded me of things, as I saw fit) (mmhm yes I am aware I sound like a derange obsessed lunatic and that's because I kind of was) (editor me still, don't worry now I have a love hate kinda thinking towards her lol, and have grown up a bit and try really hard not to be like the fans here, y'know fandom rememberings and what not sheesh the name-shall-npt-be-mentioned fandom is like REally bad and is like this one but like is just BAD on a lot of levels, I think it's worse (than this) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a4yt5h5rRg like the problem is their behavior, not the content or I'd argue even the fans themselves, necessarily, the problem is when it goes too far 🙁 bit a bit more ^, like 😕 one side for both (the aforementioned side could be either, depends on the mood but both are ok ), slight frown :/)

(editior me, ok this is last now, please, yeah it's just me basically trying my best to improve the song, I think, or at least that's how the latest draft of all this reads to me anyways lol)

(still editor me, like at the time I didn't know if I wanted it this way because it was what I stereotypically "expected to hear", or just because it sounded cool (anyways it was still what _I_ expected to hear/would do, given the opportunity, I was really thinking of what would make me happy here, looking for outside influences on top of that + seeing if they match what I hear/the vibe I'm going for in my head like yes! no, maybe and all that))

I ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴛɪsғᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ Asᴋɪɴɢ, “Hᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ɴᴏᴡ?” “Hᴏᴡ’s ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀsᴛʟᴇ ʙᴜɪʟᴛ ᴏғғ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ?” Jᴜsᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ Lᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴄᴏᴏʟ ɢᴜʏ, ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ɪᴛ

Same, bit of Taylor Swift, especially in the chords

I sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴇs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪᴀᴍᴏɴᴅs sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ᴡʜᴇɴ I ᴄʟᴏsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴇʏᴇs Sɪx ᴍᴏɴᴛʜs ᴏғ ᴛᴏʀᴛᴜʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏʟᴅ ᴀs sᴏᴍᴇ ғᴏʀʙɪᴅᴅᴇɴ ᴘᴀʀᴀᴅɪsᴇ I ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʀᴜʟʏ Yᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ʟᴀᴜɢʜ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴜᴘɪᴅɪᴛʏ

but also her own style I guess

Definitely her own style, or I just can’t tell what it’s copying (opera!!! :))

‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ I’ᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʙɪɢ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғɪɴᴇ I sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ’ᴠᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ Yᴏᴜ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ

I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I ᴡᴀs sᴍᴀʀᴛ Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ sᴏ ɴᴀɪ̈ᴠᴇ Tʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛs As ʏᴏᴜ sᴜɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ

Paramore Oʜ, ʙʟᴏᴏᴅsᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ, ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴄʀᴜsʜᴇʀ

Avril Lavigne

Bʟᴇᴇᴅɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴅʀʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ … ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ

Her style, more tension rising buildup in the instrumental, pop ->

“Aɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ɢɪʀʟ I ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴀʟᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ Tᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʙᴀᴅ, ʙᴀᴅ ɴᴇᴡs Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ Gᴏᴅ, I ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ I ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ ᴛᴏᴏ Yᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ sᴏ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄɪɴɢ”

This is something but can’t figure out what it is

“(Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ? Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ? Hᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴇ?)”

More emo? idk leading up towards a genre change (makes sense from a theatre perspective) (editor me, I had just heard a comment/maybe it was a (reaction?) video or both say that this was inspired by theatre and was like ohhh, that makes a lot of sense actually)

“Oʜ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴍᴇsᴍᴇʀɪᴢɪɴɢ, ᴘᴀʀᴀʟʏᴢɪɴɢ, ᴛʀᴀɢɪᴄ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴛʜʀɪʟʟ Cᴀɴ’ᴛ ғɪɢᴜʀᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ Aɴᴅ Gᴏᴅ ᴋɴᴏᴡs I ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ Wᴇɴᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴇʀ ‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ ɢɪʀʟs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀɢᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ” -add a sick drum line after this

Victorian/Gothic (imagine the background music and she’s running away) (or else if it’s positive it could pass as emo)

either way this part sounds cool, because of the way she sings it and builds the rising tension

‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ I’ᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʙɪɢ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғɪɴᴇ -> hit the minor key or the 2nd or the 5th or the 7th or sustained or whatever that chord is, like I said, makes the song cool! I sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ’ᴠᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ Yᴏᴜ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ

I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I ᴡᴀs sᴍᴀʀᴛ Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ sᴏ ɴᴀɪ̈ᴠᴇ Tʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛs As ʏᴏᴜ sᴜɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ

Paramore Oʜ, ʙʟᴏᴏᴅsᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ, ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴄʀᴜsʜᴇʀ

Avril Lavigne

Bʟᴇᴇᴅɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴅʀʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ … ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ -> country? for some reason? :)?

This is classic her style, I would say Taylor Swift but this is her style that’s inspired

“Yᴏᴜ sᴀɪᴅ, “Iᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴛʀᴜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ”, ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅ? Yᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ, ‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ <- expect a run here for some reason, but then it’s cool but not her style? I ᴛʀɪᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴜᴛ, ɴᴏᴡ I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ I ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ <- a darker sound? ‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ’s ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪɴɢ I’ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀsᴛᴀɴᴅ”

Now this is more pop/emo/her style, which is cool because it’s like the final act of the play, ABBA! :)

‘Cᴀᴜsᴇ I’ᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟ ʙɪɢ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs -> piano glissando, elton john, very dramatic Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ғɪɴᴇ -> twist a crystal ball that’s dark blue as the protagonist runs away in fear I sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ’ᴠᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ Yᴏᴜ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴀᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ

I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I ᴡᴀs sᴍᴀʀᴛ Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ sᴏ ɴᴀɪ̈ᴠᴇ Tʜᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴘᴀʀᴛs -> sees shadow As ʏᴏᴜ sᴜɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ -> shadow

Paramore Oʜ, ʙʟᴏᴏᴅsᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ, ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴄʀᴜsʜᴇʀ

Avril Lavigne

Bʟᴇᴇᴅɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴅʀʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ … ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ

end on cymbals + and a guitar

hmm “play”…. it sounds theatrical, I guess :)

Someone analyze this further please TT hands /\

https://youtu.be/PdTg-JT8FPM is pretty good :) but not complete, more could be said!!!

>hates song

>proceeds to listen to sing for 3 consecutive days

(now 4)

I appreciate the lyricism, it works wonderfully on the stage :) (red curtains emoji)

haha kool-aid is funny

“Lᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴄᴏᴏʟ ɢᴜʏ, ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ɪᴛ”

“I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I ᴡᴀs sᴍᴀʀᴛ Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋ sᴏ ɴᴀɪ̈ᴠᴇ”

most of the song is just her being helpless(not really), sad, and most of all confused, but this really proves her innocence, and that she’s a good person, (editor me, clear projection here, if it just wasn't _me_ being naïve, if that wasn't already obvious lol) because maybe they would say the second lines, but they would never say the first line even as a joke if they were not a good person 

mean TT

where’s the 2000’s drums at???

what on earth is rocky horror picture show

ok so the final genre is rock

it makes sense now, and is not in fact repetitive 

paid(editor me, this was an autocorrect of p!atd though I don't think I saw the autocorrect until now ) vibes apparently -reaction video from a video with two people (editor me, I think it was one where they were old white dudes with a purple background who listened to mainly metal, but I could be wrong on this)

playlist is 2000’s indie (editor me, I was researching olivia's inspiration and she said her playlist was this lol or at least the comments did, lol)

its in minor

all of this could have been summed down to “I don’t like the new drummer”.

the parts that aren’t her sound like Selena Gomez :) Like, they could collaborate and it would be neat :)

I guess I don’t like the vocal technique because even if it wasn’t billie’s style I thought it sounded more mellow? idk

Lorde??? I guess, but don’t really see it much beyond the opening/structure of things (editor me, yeah, this was definitely a reaction to a comment and I see it now haha)

Songs that belong on a playlist

Vampire

Better Than Revenge

good 4 u

paid or something paramore???? idk just what was on the radio 

oh, that one similar song, ok

enchanted to meet you

rolling in the deep? idk

mine tv

icona pop “i don’t care” 

taylor swift look what you made me do (on spot/hits the spot/pinpoint accuracy) 

tove lo

katy perry - teenage dream

needs more guitar

"the song was a tissue of threadbare clichés" -google for threadbare (editor me I think I miiiight have read this on a comment on apple iTunes reviews, because I definitely did not know that word before)

nice lol haha totally not this one amirite :) (ominous smile) (you should be concerned) (about me, not you) (thankfully) haha

:D

ok I made a playlist on spotify ✨nuf said ✨💐🪷

this is tearing my soul away :D (never thought this was possible, so this is cool lol)

—the centrol theme is people sobbing in their songs—

also teenagers being teenagers, or at least music targeted towards them

why hate?

-emo

-billie eilith

-teenagers

-almost sampled but not quite

-the way words are pronounced

-straight up the production

-“cool” = cringe? (to adults? lol haha)

-maybe that last point is really it :)

-“look at me I’m important”

-fire this drummer

-also consider help for the producer

-overused, cliche, generic, boring <— this is it for sure, I think

-not enough out of the ordinary/expected

-make it stop pls

-imo the last part is better bc she has more confidence :)

-Olivia Rodrigo Vampire - Creativity Don't Pay Reaction I agree it’s trying too hard and going nowhere

-also on the fact that it appears that she’s trying to be edgy - “The swearing to me seems forced and unnecessary and trying to be edgy.” also see “I'm ancient so not the demographic it's aimed at.” “ I maintain that it's not particularly inspired songwriting or production in my opinion.”? “ it's an unfair comparison,” also true

no hate

-but she’s got a good spirit :)

[yuukei-yikes]

ok ok first of all Really Really love your harutakas and your shinayas and your kidomomos and since im pretty sure you've been asked abt your hrtk and shinaya headcanons already i just wanna ask you about any kdmm headcanons you may have 🧐

i love kidomomo so fucking much ilove them

i think theyre stuck in a situationship for a long time. bc useless lesbians in silly harmless drama is always funny. thing is momo WANTS to say something but kido gets so flustered everytime she brings it up they fucking disappear. kido hearing momos confession after theyve faded wawawa and momo thinks kido maybe didnt hear and just sighs but KIDO HEARD bro... they heard u....

momo isnt sure if kido likes her back but she still wants to say it bc momo rly isnt the kind to stress abt waaaa but what if they dont like me back. shes like this is what i feel and im gonna tell everyone 💗 which also means everyone in the dan knows not only bc its fucking obvious but like momo told everyone😭 the only one surprised is shintaro. but for like a second bc hes like YOURE GAY??wait i just fucking heard myself of course youre gay

kido is like super fucking embarrassing abt the way they run from momo like kano and seto who know them rly well think they look like a clown bc of how flustered momo makes them but momo always receives it like wow kido is SOOOOO cool all cold and calculating :3 something something kidos self steem issues, cant believe someone would like them, especially someone so bubbly who could probably get anyone they want

if it goes for long enough momo would notice shes being avoided lol and shes like i just dont know what to do yknow and hibiyas like why are u telling Me this.

kano seto and mary. tease kido to hell and back. they are the most insufferable people ever. kano is annoying on purpose but seto and mary are more like omg u gotta be honest💗 omg let urself be happy 💗 kano and kido probably have a nasty fight abt kano telling kido theyre self sabotaging and kido being like looks whos fucking talking LOLLLL also momomary best friends forever bffs necklaces and matching phone backgrounds etc etc mary keeps accidentally creating tension and situations bc she keeps accidentally slipping up telling kido and momo something one said about the other.

its very much...a cute thing like a friend group where 2 friends like each other and everyone knows and is rooting for them but they keep prolonging it and its at most frustrating and at best entertaining. its cute, its rly one of those very normal teenage things they get to do after everything they go through. they end up together tho and in the future are the no kids double income aunts with the best presents etc etc u know how it goes

i think the only ones out of the loop who thought they were already together are haruka and shintaro. yuukei quartet is kinda out of it bc theyre a bit older and kinda didnt care for the little silly drama and have problems of their own LOL but ayano and takane were filled in bc as a big sister!!! ayano has to know whats going on!! (insane abt the idea of her and shintaros siblings dating. probably gives kido a lot of actually useful advice abt being honest and not run away from feelings) (sort of a takane talk 2.0) and takanes like.... gossip central this bitch knows everything about everyone not that they do anything with that info to help anyone.

once dating theyd have a lot of discussions about pda. momo is pda inc and kido wants to die whenever momo even presses their shoulders together in public. they make it work tho also once together the dan nearly throws a fucking party like FINALLY

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Hello! im sending in a matchup request! only if you haven't reached the max limit already, if that's the case then please ignore!

But if not then I'd like a matchup for Haikyuu.

My name is Cupid im and infp, Taurus, my love language is physical touch, and I'm a pretty shy person. I don't normally talk about myself a lot unless someone brings up one of my favorite things. like fashion history, games like stardew valley, sanrio, and anything pink! oh and I'm always prepared to talk about my cat periwinkle and show pictures too! I spend a lot of my time reading and writing. mostly fanfiction at the moment but i write other things too! finally, i have a light pink aesthetic and love to wear skirts and cute shoes!

I hope this is enough! thank you for your time and congratulations on your milestone!!✨✨✨💖💖💖

-cupid💘

Fandom: Haikyuu

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: None

Word Count: 0.5K

A/n: tysm honey, and here you go.

I match you with...

Tooru Oikawa!

Ok he's a HUGE tease, so I think he would love the idea of having an s/o whose face turns red with the slightest flirty comment of his And he's such a FLIRT too, so Good luck baring with him tbh lol.

I headcanon that physical touch is also his love language, along side acts of service if he has time. He loves how you get flustered everytime he tends to touch you, and adores how you try to get close to him as well by becoming a blushing mess. He would hold your hand at any chance he gets, and would be super protective of you, especially when facing his fangirls.

"Ok ladies, I really appreciate your support; but as you can see, I'm hanging out with my beloved s/o now so it would mean a lot if you save your chatters for another time!"

BTW his fans have a love/hate feeling toward you. Like, half of them would adore how much you two match each other and might even make a fan club for you, and the rest of them would be jealous, waiting for an opportunity to take their envy out on you, but they would never succeed cuz Oiks would never let them.

You're friends with Iwaizumi too. I mean, he's your boyfriends childhood friend after all and is a gentleman. And he also smacks Oikawa in the head every time he tries to fluster you in public.

You're normally quiet and not too talkative, rather to speak with your actions- like how you would gently run around your fingers on his arm whenever he's standing next to you or press your head against his chest when he's hugging you- so he would do anything to make you come out of your shell and be a little bit more open about yourself and how you feel. He loves how you get all excited talking about stuff you like, losing track of time as you keep telling him random facts about fashion and how much you're dying to go to a fashion show or things like that. He loves it so much that he would make time for you on his incredibly bust schedule, listening to your nonstop rambling while adoring how pretty you look all exhilarated.

"Oh- did I tell you about that dress that was exhibited in 1986- babe? I'm sorry I was being too talkative I-" "Oh no not at all suger cube, please go on <3"

SPEAKING OF FASHION SHOWS

He would be more than willing to be your model, trying on spicy outfits as he checks himself out in the mirror while smirking and winking at you.

"Say y/n chan! How does it feel like to date with the most handsome man that has ever landed on earth?" "Um... tiring and troublesome? <3" "Wha- So mean, y/n! What has happened to my kind hearted bunny? You should stop hanging out with Iwa chan!"

I think that he also likes cats, so he would give head pats to it every time he come's at your door to walk you to school.

YES, he always walks you to school

Would store cute pinky stuff in his closet to gift them to you whenever your feeling down or something. It's not like he needs a reason for showering his darling in gifts, after all :D

I hope you like this and tysm for participating!

[unheavenlybody]

hi i ended up writing an entire essay while trying to vent so feel free to ignore: 

its frustrating that there's no way to talk candidly about mental health problems without the looming fear of forced institutionalization, at least in my case. people trying to force medication on you. wellness obsessed fitness people recommend you start doing yoga and “clean eating” and only using certified nontoxic products and adopting a more positive mindset and ~recognizing your inner magic~ or whatever even though no one asked (literally a dig at my sister LMAO). so much of it just seems self righteous and self congratulatory and devoid of any genuine compassion or understanding for people’s unique circumstances??? recognizing that a lot of life is just hard and miserable and sometimes its ok to just sit with that??

i hate the idea of some dude with a degree from whatever ivy at my school’s counseling department keeping a record of everything i say which can potentially be used against me even tho its supposed to be confidential. treating me like a fragile baby bird but also slicing our meetings in half and arriving late and leaving me to fend for myself after asking me to dig up buried trauma and then offering no support for the next two weeks other than “i understand, that must be hard.” recommending we look into a psychotherapist during our next meeting, which i cant even afford, and then not following through. repeatedly tiptoeing around the question of whether i have suicidal thoughts and if so how severe, like, my guy, i 100% wouldnt tell you that in a million years. even if it’s true.  

i'm caught between recognizing that a healthy diet and exercise and enriching hobbies and social connection are necessary parts of getting better, but people seem to conveniently forget that these aren’t equally accessible options for everyone. and even if i maintain all of these things, will it be enough to keep me here? i just don't understand the impulse to shame people for not trying “hard enough” when it’s so easy to neglect these things if you don’t have money, adequate resources, or emotional support. not everyone was born to be entirely self sufficient (is anyone really, lol?) but grindset wellness fuckers will have you convinced you’re just an undisciplined weak-willed piece of trash and simply need to become more like them. or at the very least get medicated and stop complaining. but can you prioritize a healthy organic diet if you barely have enough money to scrape by as it is, when understandably cheap fast foods are one of the only things that still bring you comfort that you can regularly afford? how can you safely exercise in a way that's both sustainable and enjoyable if you can't afford a gym membership or exercise equipment and live somewhere that neglects public parks or is highly polluted and congested? or if you have chronic pain or fatigue and can’t get treatment for it because your dumbass country doesnt think universal healthcare is a human right? you can’t even maintain certain hobbies and especially long term relationships unless you have money for outings and some means of reliable transportation (which in the US obviously means having a car). how can you get out of an abusive or hazardous living situation when the resources that do exist are often underfunded, discriminatory, or exploitative themselves? when you have no one else to depend on? everything is increasingly designed to strip you of any opportunity at having a happy fulfilling life and maybe some people are just less equipped to deal with this reality. maybe i am weak lol. or they see through the bullshit and can’t bring themselves to care anymore. 

like yeah i know that’s not a great mindset to have, and you should still try to find joy in life, but most days i can't help but feel that I am trying to get better by exercising or eating healthy or allowing myself to love things all for nothing. like maybe ive already been robbed of a healthy, happy life by circumstance and i could try to exhaust myself further by insisting things can and will get better when maybe realistically they won't in the way i want them to. i dont know how to end this i just wish it was easier to talk about with someone lol sorry for the essay byeeee

[blairwitchapologist]

Hiya! I wanted to ask you or your followers for some advice since you're a reader. I want to get into reading but I'm having a hard time starting.

Idk really what kind of books I like. I've read articles talking about reaching out to people who may know you (me) and have them suggest something, but idk anyone who reads, lol.

I have a pretty bad attention span, so I feel I have to write about the book as I go (to make sure I'm understanding it or remember what's happened), but I also feel that will push me away from reading more.

This is probably a lot to put on you or anyone, so I do apologise, but any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you in advance if you do answer! 🫰🏽

ok ok i actually feel kind of weirdly qualified to answer this question bc i do read a lot but i am So Fucking Bad At It. like unless i’m reading a book that i had been anticipating for a while, i have the hardest time motivating myself to just pick up a book and fucking read it, even if i’ve already started it and am enjoying it lol

so my go-to ways to find something new to read are:

1. my best friends wife is a librarian so i will just ask her what she’s been reading lol but you don’t have to be friends w a librarian to ask that question!!! if u go to a library and tell them your dilemma they will be thrilled to give you recommendations

2. i use the app storygraph to log the books i read, and they have a pretty good system for recommending books based on what you’ve logged!! i don’t think you can access that without paying, but a) i think they offer a free trial every year and b) it’s a really great alternative to goodreads (not owned by amazon but still does the same thing lol) so i personally don’t mind paying for it

and i also wanna say that it’s possible you do know people who read, they just don’t talk about it!!! a few years ago i put out an instagram story asking for book recommendations and i got so many responses from people who i just didn’t expect to answer and they had really great recommendations and i was thrilled to have something new to talk to them about hehe

and in terms of my attention span, the reason for my solution is a little embarrassing to admit lol but whenever possible, i will go out in public to read bc i am so self-conscious about looking at my phone too much when i’m surrounded by people lmao like i know that no one actually cares but i have this idea in my head that people are judging me if i sit on a park bench staring at my phone for half an hour, but no one will look at me if i’m reading a book. idk if it makes sense but it has worked for me!! i also love to read at bars (though i haven’t done that since i quit drinking so idk if it’s the same), i can’t really explain it but i kind of thrive when i’m surrounded by people who are talking near me but not to me/at me i guess lol. i also like to read in parks, and usually on saturdays while my boyfriend is at work i’ll go to lunch by myself and read while i eat :) i know this kind of solution might not work for you but that’s what’s worked for me!!!! good luck, and also feel free to send another message if you wanna tell me some stuff and see if i can recommend any books for you!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[vanillatalc]

ok so: another friend drama recap post

i've known this woman, we'll call her Claire, since i was 17 + she was about 25. the other members of the group are ana: (2y older than me) and our parisian friend who we'll call Dora (I wanna say like 1y older than me). anyway suffice to say we've all been friends for over 10y, not just online but irl as well. (WE MET ON LIVEJOURNAL! yes even ana and i met on livejournal) ages not really important other than to make it even more baffling lol

anyway claire has been v weird and unstable for a few years now, i want to be charitable and say it is potentially a reaction to the collective trauma of covid (and also she's had a HORRIFIC few years personally - a lot of death) but i don't know how to deal w/ her at all anymore like i know she's struggling a lot but like i cannot deal with it, it's just maddening

all she really does is infodump about her current fandoms that NOBODY ELSE IN THE GROUP HAS ANY INTEREST IN WHATSOEVER interspersed with these wildly disturbing one-off sentences like "oh i think my wife lost the baby" like. (she hadn't btw) the emotional whiplash from going from her angrily screenshotting comments on her fanfiction that she agree with to talking about the horrific shit going on in her life just makes it so difficult to talk to her + also i cannot pretend to give a shit about k-dramas ive never seen like... i literally just cant lol. so i tend to just ignore the group chat + leave ana + dora to deal with it. (ana mildly resents me for this but my position is they dont have to deal w/ it either and social consequences for being totally unbearable is not the worst thing)

anyway so i think i mentioned this before but a few weeks ago she mentioned taking herself (chronically ill) + her pregnant wife to paris at the beginning of december. on public transport. like i know no one gives a shit about covid anymore but long-term disability from it is really a gamble for the healthiest of people let alone people w/ her problems. they've both also had it before + negative outcomes do seem to stack the more infections you have

she brought this up, i could not stop myself from politely saying i thought this was a dreadful idea, ana backed me up and i also got a DM from dora thanking me for saying something (dora had previously told her not to come but didn't feel comfortable having th esame conversation a second time)

SHE HAS NOT SPOKEN TO US SINCE. she's privately started DMing all her hyperfixation bullshit to dora instead of the group chat + dora is like idk wtf to do with this either lol. like she's literally just totally stopped talking to me and ana AT ALL bc we politely told her we were worried for her health if she went to a huge city in the middle of winter LMAOOO like i know age / emotional maturity don't go together but like can you fucking believe she's nearly 40 + this was enough to apparently tank a 10y+ friendship???

if i wasn't already pretty much done w/ the friendship id be v hurt + offended that being like "hey we'd rather you didn't put yourself at risk here" was apparently evil enough to just totally cut off

[silverislander]

Hi Lee! For the ask game: 🔥, 🧡, and 🦚

🔥: how has the way you think about yourself changed since you realized you were queer?

oof,, kind of a lot lol. coming from a really christian upbringing i did originally start out fucking terrified? like other people could be gay, i wasn't homophobic necessarily, but bc i was a Good Christian Girl i personally could not like women or at least not only women. i figured if i also liked men then i could just... not date women :)) and that would be ok :))))) and i would never tell anyone and lie about it forever. the idea made me as miserable as it sounds and i figured out pretty quick shoving it all down wasn't gonna fly lol. pro tip you cannot just stop a crush by avoiding it and praying for it to go away! who knew!

so now things have COMPLETELY changed for me. for one i'm not religious anymore, but i'm also at a point where being a lesbian feels like the only right way for me to be instead of smth wrong and shameful. i can't really imagine myself being anything else?? it feels sort of like a way to make sense of the stuff that was already there too, like realizing why the thought of having a wedding in the future was smth that i didn't like thinking about or why i never got into boy bands lmao

🧡: how has the way you presented yourself (ex. clothing, hairstyle, etc) changed since you realized you were queer?

also a lot!! i was actually a. very girly kid lmao which surprises people sometimes. i wore a lot of pink/dresses/glitter and all that (in part bc i didn't really realize i had other options- i didn't know what being gay or trans was until i was in my teens and the idea of bein gnc was not presented as a good thing, and until i was like 14 my hair was literally down to my waist- i literally never cut it short before and had been intending on keeping it that length or more Forever

one of the things i did when i was trying to figure out my sexuality was reading abt other people's sexualities and their histories and experiences online, and when i figured out i was gay it clicked pretty fast that i also had Gender Feelings that made sense in conjunction with being a lesbian. aka i'm butch. we do not talk about the phase where i owned multiple snapbacks and wore them in public but i did do that. basically went as hard in the stereotypical masculine lesbian direction as i could as a young teenager at the time, chopped my hair off bought combat boots you know how it is

overall i think it went like Little Girl™ -> the Exact stereotype of a lesbian in the 2010s, flannel and bad hat choices etc etc -> kinda just some butch :) i like a jacket i like fun pins i basically live in jeans and t shirts. i'm honestly really happy looking the way i do now ngl

🦚: are there any queer books/shows/etc that you would suggest?

so ofc i just finished one last stop by casey mcquiston recently and it absolutely OBLITERATED me, 1000/10 loved it. i'm also almost finished out of salem by hal schrieve which has been neat!! there's a lot of really well thought out worldbuilding, the mc is a nonbinary zombie which i think is rad but i'm not Quite sure what i think of it yet lol. and the miseducation of cameron post meant a lot to me in high school despite how much it also hurts in a cathartic sort of way :") look up the tws if you're looking at that one but highly recommend tho

[annikuh]

lil vent abt writing man lol

why tf did I say I was gonna share this fuckin story man, I was just gonna give it a quick overview but now I’ve been hacking away at it all day and I feel like it sucks and I can do so much better. I’d love to fucking ask my partner to just let me talk thru the things I’m struggling with with him bc he knows these characters and he’s right next to me, but he straight up refuses to engage with anything about Panathir bc he upsets him for reasons completely lost on me, so I’m like…ripping things with my teeth.

the cross between “everyone look at the great work I’ve done with creating these characters” and “nobody fucking look at them bc you’re gonna misconstrue them and if you hate them I’ll murder/suicide” is fucking brutal LMAO

I hate not having control over who exactly sees it and what judgments people are making. I posted abt it being almost done on my art insta and seeing so many people like the post, and then hearing other people mention it…I’m getting scared like…I don’t feel safe with all of these ppl reading my shit. I have a reputation and this shit’s personal. I had some friends the other night say sumn like “what should we do if we don’t like it”—it was as a joke but I was like “please don’t tell me‼️” like I can’t handle more than my few little Jax stans who I know are safe and will like it seeing it. they already know I’m fucking weird—you guys already know I’m fucking weird—I can’t handle the vulnerability of everyone else knowing I’m fucking weird too.

& again I mean my fuckin bf already hates it so much he can’t bear to hear abt it so that doesn’t make me feel great either.

sry I’m just so stressed, its so dramatic but it feels like my life is on the line with this and idk what to do. it’s just so personal, which I know nobody really needs to know but still, I feel like I fucked up. & I feel stupid going back on it now bc that’ll make me look worse. oooogh I hate this, it feels like public humiliation, and it’s made even worse knowing that it’s not that serious, but to me it is serious which is even MORE embarrassing. I’m so fucking mad I can’t handle this I’m going to start ripping my skin off and killing people.

whatever. I’m still gonna post it. I’ll push it back a little, which is still very embarrassing (for nothing—allow the spiral to continue), but I’ll give myself more time so I can actually feel confident in it.

maybe I just send it to a few ppl or just get some fuckin hype going or sumn. hate that I need to ask for external validation—also very embarrassing—but whatever. I’ve got some safe people I can ask. had one of my best friends call me their successful little writer yesterday and it made me kick my feet, and my girl Andy always goes fuckin wild for OC content, amongst many other sweet vocal friends. So I am loved and supported. & it means a lot 🥲

ok it ended nice, thanx for letting me talk, I’ll have an edible and keep the violence to myself for now

[foggyparadisecandy]

[Trauma dumping - scroll on by if you are looking for horny stuff]

I know, I know ... another one. I'm just purging it out as fast as I can. Catharsis in a public blog. Why not?

This one in particular is written for my ex-partner even though I know she won't read it. I just have to play pretend to feel remotely good about things.

Hey D - I want to start off and say that I love you, I care about you, and I forgive you for anything and everything. Please remember that you can always reach back out to me.

Yeah, what you did was pretty shitty tbh. But ... it's ok. I mean ... yeah ... do better. Good people do shitty things on occasion and IDK.

Maybe I'm way off base but everything points to a horrible trauma response. I could be wrong. I don't think so though.

Either way, who gives a shit at this point. I forgive you and the point of this letter is to ask that you don't use your treatment of me or us to beat yourself up.

It hurt. It still hurts. It probably will hurt for awhile but I'm going to come back stronger than I was before so, in the end, it will be a net positive for me. Except for losing you. That ... really ... is awful tbh.

I've told you how much you brightened my life in other letters so I'm moving past that one here. Let's talk about me for a moment and where I'm at and where I'm heading so you can feel like "hey ... Foggy is going to be ok ... I didn't permanently harm him and it seems like he's actually doing well."

And let's really quiet that subconscious that makes you want to feel bad - at least on this particular issue. It's all going to be better than fine for me in the end. I know that and you should feel ok about me.

I've made a lot of new friends who have been very kind and accommodating to my pain. You know I'm a curious dude and it's been very interesting to hear so many stories from other people. Love it.

I've reconnected with some old friends - online and in RL. I've got a pretty full social calendar these days which is a first in ... a loooong time. Pretty ironic considering how much I was always telling you to build connections and my own were thin.

I've started working out. It's only been 7 weeks and I'm doing pretty freaking good tbh. I started doing pushups and planks every time I thought of you but ... that got exhausting fast ... you are always on my mind lol. So I cut back to 30 minutes per day.

I've had it out with my wife about everything. Well ... not exactly everything but most things. I'm not sure where that goes but I know I don't want to go back to a boring status quo situation. You opened my eyes to a new way to exist and I want more, not less. It'll be ok either way - I know that for sure.

I've lost 8 pounds in 7 weeks. This one isn't really a blessing lol. I couldn't eat or hold food down for the first five weeks. Only really started eating again recently. But it is what it is. I wasn't heavy at all but I'm happier thinner so ... a win?

I've ... mostly ... started to be able to sleep through the nights again. For the longest time, the most I could sleep was 3 or 4 hours then wake and could not drift back off. I still ... am struggling ... a bit. Woke up the other morning at 4 am crying. That wasn't fun. But it's rare lately and I'm guessing will be gone soon enough. Not sure if this is a win or if it's me just feeling sorry for myself. I'm guessing the latter but I'm leaving it in here because it *is* better than it was early on so it's progress.

I've started therapy to figure out why I chase after helping others (mostly women) to fill the sad little hole in my soul. Actually ... I already know why. You know all the shit with my mom and ... yeah ... I'm working on it. Trying to get healthy for the first time since I was a ten year old kid. Kind of silly that it took you breaking up with me for me to figure this stuff out. It is really breaking me down to realize my life since ten has been so fucked up with trauma. Can you imagine not clearing your trauma away for that long? Can you imagine that? I hope not. Did you get that hint? I hope so.

I've refocused on work for the first time in a decade. I've set some huge fucking goals. I want to hit it big and I've given my team through the end of next year. I'm going to do it and then I'm going to fuck off from work and shift my priorities to something else - something more fulfilling. It's still to early but I want to take some of those self-improvement things we did together and do something with them for others. I'm using them on myself so I can see how they work and where they need to be fine-tuned. We'll see how it all goes.

I'm trying to figure out what makes me genuinely happy. All of my belief systems have been shattered tbh. I ... don't know yet if that's bad or good or just is what it is. I don't know anything atm about love or happiness or fulfillment or ... anything. I'm still more than a bit lost. You untethered me from everything I knew about myself. I'm not saying this is a bad thing ... I'm saying ... I don't know what comes next. Knowing me, it's going to be fucking great and better than it was. I've always been pretty good at solving problems and making great things happen for myself and those around me (as you know).

I'm doing my best to be kind to myself. I am not sure when the last time I was kind to myself was. I honestly can't remember when I've had a decent thing to say about myself. It's always been "do better" "be better" stuff. I'm working on it as fast as I can. Beating yourself up is an awful way to live. Not sure why I need your splitting on me to figure that out.

I have realized ... despite everything ... I am a good and decent and kind person. I lost sight of that for a hot minute there. I'm not perfect. Hah. Nope. But I do the best I can and I am quick to take steps to change up when I know I've fucked up. But yeah ... I'm good and decent and kind. I know those things now better than I ever have.

And ... you are good too. I know it deep down in my soul.

I see it in you. You are not your father. Far from it.

And you didn't permanently hurt me here. Lots of good will come from this. Believe it. Thank you for everything.

And I believe good things will happen for you. I have full faith in you.

I am no longer in a position to tell you what to do but ... please work on your trauma. For your own sake. And find a new path in life. I know you feel like your current job is your life but ... that job will bring you nothing but misery and sorrow and trauma and damage.

You deserve better. You know that. Deep down, you know everything we shared showed you a different path.

You deserve far better.

You might need to go through some pain to get on a new path but I know who you are. I know you are a fighter and know how to get shit done. You can and will do it. Start planning. Start doing.

And legit ... I'm still here and willing to boost you along in life.

I've always wanted one thing: to see you reach your full potential. It's amazing. The world is waiting to see it.

One final thing that I have discovered and honestly I feel really good about this one - even if you never reach out again:

I love you sincerely and wish nothing but the best.

[yuukei-yikes]

any thoughts on remind blue?

currently, it is my favorite kagepro song (this changes like every week but i digress...) and i really want to make a pv for it but i lowkey have no idea where to start

your analysis/ramblings on things is really interesting to read and see, so also just wanted to let you know that i love all the content you post!! :D

I LOV remind blue. like every kagepro song makes me want to rip my face off ♥️♥️♥️ but this one is one of those that make me feel so strongly that i cant listen to it ♥️♥️♥️ cuz i do that btw. i cannot listen to kagepro songs without preparing myself emotionally and it has to be when i am alone in my room. i could never listen to them in public. that'd be weird. im drawing and suddenly a kagepro song comes on in my playlist and im like this is so fucked up who put this here (<- i did)

songs like summertime record, lost day hour, remind blue and ayanos theory of happiness specifically i basically never listen to because it causes something in me both mentally and physically. im normal though.

TOTALLY support the idea to make a pv!!! i wouldn't know how to start either tbh💔 who would u make it be sung by?? like the song is so good but for the lyrics im like meh like str is already a thing. idk it sorta has the same vibe. its like summertime record and lost day hour's lyrics had a little baby together. which is why i always liked to interpret it as a haruka song but fuck it ig its shintaro's.

i also liked the idea of it being seto's or hibiya's. i think they'd deserve a song like this, especially hibiya!! tho for hibiya the whole "adult" thing is different LOL and even seto, he's just 17... ive always loved haruka being the punchbag for the "im an adult wtf" feeling because he goes from living his whole life thinking he will die and then he doesn't. or well he DOES die but then comes back, and suddenly he finds himself with his whole life ahead. like haruka and his early 20s crisis abt i did NOT think id be alive this long and now i gotta deal with everything those feelings bring me but at the same time i have to pay rent and worry abt what to make for dinner soooo erm fine ig. that's also what i think lost day hour is about, i know jin describes it more like a song abt old friends but girl idk it rly only has a couple lines abt that as opposed to all the rest of the song... erm. what was i talking about again.

i just think it was rly funny how we were all like ok remind blue uses "boku" so it's seto kano hibiya or haruka (or konoha). and then jin was like hehe. shintaro♥️ SHINTARO DOESNT EVEN USE BOKU whatever im pretty sure he also said it can fit anyone and its more a general mekakushi dan song. but tbh so is summertime record sooooo. sorry im sidetracking a lot

i dont particularly care for remind blue so much (LIKE THE SONG SLAPS im still talking about lyrics) bc it's very heavy on the shit abt like growing distant and stuff sortof??? like kagepros ending/str is implied to have the mekadan not grow apart but kinda do their own thing while still meeting to hang out, bc kagepro is also about growing up and with growing up comes maybe growing distant from these friends you love, but they will always be important and one of a kind in ur life and when u meet its like time hasnt rly passed between you. not to mention the whole thing about combining eyes and how all the snakes will always end up gathering by the queen no matter what, meaning the dan will always be bound to make their ways back to each other no matter what, and are connected to one another by the literal narrative that theyre all actually sort of aware of a little bit (they always refer to their tragedy as a "story"..kagepro is a little meta lol). and like that's all so beautiful but also fuck it. they all meet for pizza nights every week. erm. the passage of time am i right

ALSO TY FOR READING MY POSTS:///3 I LOVE KAGEROU PROJECT A NORMAL AMOUNT AND IM A NORMAL PERSON

[ghostlyfirenut]

[silly rant don't bother reading]

Ok so I briefly had a thing with this guy and then turns out he had a gf /they had broken up before we hooked up and then we texted for like a few weeks and then I guess they got back together (there was a brief time he mentioned they were going poly which I was like ok and then never heard anything about it / ran into him at a gig a few months ago and he was like yeah she's not into it I'm like ok not surprised let's just hang out and not be weird haha and he was like yeah totally, then never heard back from him lol.) Anyway! Yesterday caught her snooping on my Instagram lmfao! She accidentally liked a post and then immediately unliked it but I still got the notification haha. Wondering what inspired her to be thinking about me yesterday, how she found my account etc. Anyway then I took that opportunity to snoop on her and like, she seems nice idk people are weird I don't really understand a lot of them but you know some people are into certain things 🤷‍♀️ I like myself and my vibe lol. Anyway the silly thing is that she had a few posts further down like bikini posts /clearly sucking in but still like showing ribcage etc, another one like a ~dramatic photoshoot ~ talking about being insecure with her body etc. Idk I don't understand people. Like I'm out here ranting about feelings on Tumblr which is one kind of weird haha but I'm not gonna be out there posting bikini shots on Instagram talking about feeling insecure like I Am insecure that is why my body rarely makes an appearance on public channels 😂 Also, thinking about how I've gained 20 pounds and can't wait to lose it. Always thinking about it. Never goes away. Like I can eat normally now /can't even restrict like I used to even if I wanted to/ but dang can't wait to lose 20 pounds... Not sure how I'm gonna do it this time around now that I can't do the restriction thing anymore. Looking back I realize it was 60% Adderall / 20% dance classes / 20% college thesis stress haha. Anyway maybe next year will be a new year with new methods - active job, minimal food, etc. Plus 5 years older than when I hit my low weight so that makes it harder. Plus alcohol vs weight etc. Cigarettes might help, idk. Anyway. Silly that that's always on my brain these days. Wish I was skinny like I used to be. Oh well.

Anyway, still thinking about this guy, I feel like we had potential, wondering if I should try to reach out and text him again or wait til he decides to reach out to me... Wondering if he's over the whole thing already. Maybe they're super happy together idk her posts make it seem like she's super into with him but from the very brief things I heard from him idk if it's totally reciprocated 👀 but that was months ago so who knows! Life is weird! He's cute but I have so many other options idk how to keep up with them all! Why am I always interested in the unavailable ones! That's funny actually it's like the less available someone is the more I find myself liking them. Fear of commitment etc. Plus the thrill of the chase etc. Anyway. Long rant about nothing. Still kinda holding out hope for this guy but if it happens it'll happen and if not I'm still just doing my own thing. Hopefully I can lose 10-15 pounds in the meantime 😂😋