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#i also just wanted to use this new brush thats supposed to look like oil. these were supposed to be oil painting like
snakeoid · 3 months
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more tadpole and late game astarion bc i love drawing him blue and then i love drawing him happy
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dream-wreck · 4 years
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Count On You
Surprise! “Count On Me” has an unintended part 2.
Chapter 2 Title: Count On You Rating: G Word Count: 1,668 Description: When the office door closes, Neil can be alone in his own world. That's not always a good thing.
…..
Of all things, Neil missed spaghetti the most. Jarred red sauce, fifty-cent pasta, pre-grated parmesan (if he was feeling especially bougie). Nothing could beat it. He didn’t miss the reflux, but he’d deck his esophageal halls with ulcers if it meant eating a real meal, a heaping bowl of comfort food that would leave him full and sluggish and knock Insomnia flat on its back.
Neil ran his thumb over a medicine-purple protein bar wrapper, smoothing out the perforated ends between the flesh of his thumb and index finger. The yellow POWER BAR logo rippled and glimmered under his office lights like a cheap trick.
Clearly, the graphic designers had no idea that their chosen font and colors made the meal replacement look like a cartoon villain’s mind-controlling sugar bar. This one was supposed to taste vaguely reminiscent of peanut butter, which he’d discovered was easier to stomach than the artificial vanilla flavor that stuck to his tongue for hours after the fact.
He tore the wrapping down the middle. The sickly brown bar revealed itself, shedding its tacky cape.
He took a vengeful bite out of the bar, feeling as triumphant as he possibly could while chewing something that tasted like cardboard soaked in old peanut oil. Just last week, these weren’t so bad. He could stomach them and they had tasted pretty decent.
I was thinking of you the entire time, he’d eventually say to a heaping bowl of angel hair pasta and marinara.
Eventually. One day, soon. When all this was over, Neil could quit skipping meals and popping pain pills like tic tacs and Mentos.
The single bite of bar began to disintegrate in his mouth the same way a bad piece of gum chewed too long turns into a compound of sand and slime. Neil choked the mixture down and lunged for his water bottle. Empty. He turned to the mini fridge and pulled out an ice cold energy drink that had been sitting on standby, untouched, for months.
“Don’t tell Eva,” Neil said, snapping the tab open in the vacant room. The drink went down cold and sweet, washing the gritty paste from his tongue. He’d regret the caffeine in an hour or two, but for now, the familiar bubbles were worth whatever he had coming later.
A lot of things had become worth it recently. He banished the pitiful excuse for a protein bar to the bottom drawer, sitting down in his desk chair, staring at the paperwork that so desperately needed filing. A fib, of course. He’d never filed paperwork on time in his life. Lying to Eva....Neil had yet to discern if that was worth keeping any secret.
What secret? In the end, what could be worth keeping from her? That Neil Watts was mortal? Extraordinary, but mortal. Extraordinarily mortal.
He thought of Eva sitting outside the men’s room while he retched, stretching to keep pace with him in the hall, reminding him about the simple things. There is so much said in reminding someone to take care of themselves in the little ways, to drink water, to take time. Neil wished he were a better listener, that his pride would crumble for a day or two, long enough for him to set good habits and be honest -- with himself, with Eva, with everyone.
Fluorescent humming grated his ears, burned his eyes. He felt new sickness swelling. He shut his eyes to the room’s blue white.
He’d worry a lot less if Eva would just let it drop. She cared too much, that was her problem. She was usually good at hiding it. At work, of course, surrounded all day by dying people and their repressed traumas, you need to find a way to push through it all without completely breaking down, balancing visible empathy with healthy detachment.
Crying in front of the clients doesn’t get the job done, and it certainly doesn’t look good on evaluations.
Their particular line of work called for expert compartmentalization. Eva had mastered concealing a naturally compassionate disposition behind cold professionalism, efficiency, and control. It was never just another day at the office for her, even if she’d sometimes seem unfeeling when the chips were down.
Neil knew her too well. She always wanted to help. She was a problem solver, always trained on an objective, never one to dwell, to stutter-step, to second guess. She never let things lie. Why should a problem go unsolved?
He used to hold that against her, that she couldn’t let things be, that she could get a little control-crazy when things shifted from their right places into wrong places, drifting away from order like moons out of orbit. But she wasn’t the one who had to cheat on her entrance exams. And between the two of them, she seemed to have her life under control.
Neil Watts had looked to Eva Rosalene for a lifetime of answers. He could count on her for anything. She always came in clutch (he’d been watching a lot of Esports streams lately, picking up on the lingo during his late night nausea fits).
It wasn’t a question of whether or not Eva cared about him. It was a question of, if Neil truly believed in Eva Rosalene, why on God’s green earth had he not told her a lick of truth about what was really going on? He dove down for a good answer, or even a scrap of a convoluted selfish reasoning, but resurfaced empty.
In his coat pocket, a little blue bottle pressed against Neil’s thigh. He crossed his arms, but he only grew more aware of the light pressure resting there. It annoyed him, more than anything, like feeling a strand of hair brush along your skin, but just when you think you’ve swiped it away, there it is again, brushing just light enough to frustrate, to aggravate, to piss you off. Neil bounced his knee, trying to shake the coat off his leg, but the bump beneath the white cloth just moused its way back and forth, prodding.
He should do that paperwork. Listen to music or something to pass the time.
His stomach roiled. Neil slipped a hand into his pocket. He closed his fist around the smooth bottle, ran his thumb over the cap, catching his thumbnail along the ridges there. Comforting, he thought. The action really did calm his nerves.
Eva was across the hall. Fifteen steps away. A knock away. A conversation away.
Neil didn’t bother to set a stopwatch so he never knew how long he sat there, his thumb running back and forth over the ridges in the lid while his mind wandered, imagining the many ways that conversation could go, the look on Eva’s face, the disappointment. Daydream Neil started crying, but Real Neil didn’t think that was very dignified, so he started from the beginning, approaching Dr. Eva Rosalene in her office. Figuring she’d probably be busy, he reset to the cafeteria. A nice talk over lunch. When Eva burst into tears and people from the surrounding tables looked their way, Neil chose the park, even though they weren’t in the habit of going to the park together and never had been. But it was quiet, undisturbed. A gorgeous day in this self-revising simulation. He guided Eva to a bench. They sat down. Eva told him to take his time, that she knew something was wrong, that she was glad Neil could finally talk to her. Yes, he was ready. It would be amazing to finally say it out loud. To someone else. To confide. To confess….
He opened his eyes to the harsh light.
Confess? What was that word doing, flitting about in his stream of consciousness?
An email notification pinged on his desktop. He moved to open it with a click. It read:
If you’re up for it, they’re showing Inception and the Cowboy Bebop movie tonight. It’s the weirdest double feature ever so I have to go, it’s the law.
Popcorn’s light on the stomach, right? Let me know, my treat. --Eva
Perfect. He could talk to her then. Simple, easy as that. All that melodramatic daydreaming over nothing. He could talk to her then. Besides: free food.
Neil’s stomach suddenly felt very, very empty. His usual nausea felt like he was too full and ready to burst.
But it suddenly felt as if something small inside were eating away at everything, the lining and the tissue and the bile, hungrily consuming out of a gluttonous jealousy that which consumes. And when there would be nothing left, that small something would eat the air and the Nothing until an impossible vacuum remained. And Neil would also remain, nothing more than a container to conceal a parasitic anomaly, cursed never to be filled again.
His hand closed around the little blue bottle. The pills inside stirred, knocking against the walls of their plastic prison.
The emptiness in his stomach slowly spread into his hips and ribs, knees and neck, his head and the space behind his eyes, until his whole body felt hollow and the hollow spaces felt sore.
This moment was nearly one of those moments that change everything. Very important, nearly pivotal, but not to be realized, lacking the crucial self-awareness that would have sent things this way and that, particularly along different this-es and better thats. The manner in which a single rock falls prevents or triggers a landslide.
Neil drew the bottle from his pocket, poured two little white pills into his palm, tossed them back. They scraped down the dry walls of his throat, as though clawing for a foothold, before eventually settling in the cavern of his stomach, and almost instantaneously, the pain began to dwindle.
Neil didn’t stop to consider the impossibility of this. If he had, it would have made all the difference. But he didn’t, so it did not, and things seemed to remain relatively the same, the distant sound of tumbling rocks drowned by electric humming.
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Chapter 2 end notes: Ended up somewhere unexpected, as writing usually does. My fingers like to run without me sometimes. Pleasant surprises though! Thank you for supporting "Count On Me"! You all are the best :)
Wubnjeft
...
I've been reading a lot of science fiction lately.
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cosmicbash · 4 years
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Hey, So I'm having a bad week and would really like an outed Kells and Em fic, it could be as angsty or fluffy as you want, I just need a happy ending. A little joy from a situation like that would be really nice right now, Thanks P.S. I've been reading your writing for a while and I think they're really great!! I hope you keep having Inspiration to do so!!!
Sorry I'm so late replying to this!! Ive had a shitty busy week myself and i feel horrible its taken me so long!!
I feel like instagram would be Em and Kelly's downfall. Just because the younger rapper is constantly on it, posting little snippets to interact with his fans, going Live, and of course posting pictures.
Slip ups are inevitable once he and Marshall start spending more and more time together.
Because Colson can't just cut back, when he does that fans start speculating. Questioning why exactly he's suddenly getting more secretive or searching through what he does share with a fine tooth comb to spot a new mystery girlfriend.
So Colson continues posting away on instagram and filming his lives, even when he and Marshall are together. Ignoring the headshakes and looks the older rapper shoots his way everytime he's on live laughing it up.
At first it's awkward, Marshall and him keep alternating who's going to duck into the bathroom or step out for coffee. But eventually they get used to it and comfortable enough that Colson can walk around their hotel room filming while Marshall naps on the couch.
The blonde even gets cheeky enough to start teasing his partner, like snapping photos of their shared brunches, or taking after sex selfies that always get Marshall hiding under the blankets or kicking him.
Really Colson should have seen it coming. You can only fly so close to the sun before you get burned afterall.
The mistakes start piling up soon enough.
Marshall accidentally yelling to ask him something when he's recording a live, Colson walking a bit too close to the couch and flashing the hoodie clad rappers back, the bottom of Marshall's AA necklace in the back of a breakfast shot, and more minor incidents that branch out from there.
At first Colson can just brush the unfamilar voice and thankfully covered up body as one of his assitants or friends. But as soon as that necklace peek gets out the internet does its thing and speculation over a possible collab strikes up.
The assumption being he gave everyone the glimpse on purpose.
Of course he's relieved the public isn't immediately jumping to the crazy possibility of them banging. Even though thats exactly what theyre doing. But him and Marshall AREN'T actually making any music together, and neither of them has publicly squashed their beef. Afterall, what better cover than pretending to still hate eachother?
But now that's all out the window. Colson's lack of an immediate excuse and rapid deletion of the photo just convincing the media their theories are correct.
Paul is of course furious, reaming both of them out over the phone about how they better get on a track together or figure out some new cover. And Diddy, well Diddy rarely comes off his self made throne to speak to Colson, let alone acknowledge most of his success, but the rapper actually does inquire to him about the whole spectacle. And Colson can't help but find himself wishing he had a guy like Paul who knew about them and could just simply yell at him because he still has no idea what to even say.
They settle on quiet ambiguous statements from their labels about how the two of them are working towards mending their beef and that a collaboration isn't exactly out of the question at this moment.
It works. For about a month or two, mostly due to them being apart yet again. The major hype dies down and Colson avoids any and all questions relating to Marshall in his lives and on twitter. The two of them are able to breathe a sigh of relief as temporary as it may be.
Until the next time they make time to see eachother. Colson's got a small charity event in Detroit that he plans on using as an excuse to linger around the city and steal some much needed time with his secret boyfriend.
Of course all eyes are on them yet again, questioning whether the young rapper might also be stopping in to work in some music with his rival.
With paparazzi tailing him more than ever it's impossible for him to just go to Marshall's place like he'd planned. Instead forcing him into renting a suite and wasting most of the day stressing over just how the hell he's supposed to sneak Marshall in with the bastards sitting outside the building like hawks. The other rapper isn't exactly helping either, just sending his usual cryptic texts telling Colson not worry about it but never expanding on what his plan is either.
By the time the blonde finally finishes his busy day and drags himself back to the room he has fully accepted that their rendezvous is not going to happen. Marshall had stopped texting him more than two hours ago and he wasn't about to act even more like a spoiled child by blowing the man's phone up. Colson's just given up. He can't even muster the energy to give the paparazzi outside his hotel more then an annoyed comment about how his life doesn't revolve around collaborations and the finger before slipping inside.
Marshall's presence in his hotel room, already stripped down to his night tee and briefs almost looks like a mirage. But when he shuts the door and crosses the room to bury his face in the other man's neck he smells like ivory soap and that woodsy beard oil the blonde bought him and Colson can't help but hug him closer.
He's so relieved to see him he doesn't even snark back at Marshall's muffled comment that he looks like shit.
The moment is sweet and Colson honestly should have realized it was just the calm before the storm but he's too caught up in complaining about the media and basking in his partner's soft agreements to care.
Before taking off to take his shower he hands Marshall over his phone, suggesting the brunette look through the mess his instragram comment section has become, all the questions and posts he's been tagged in over that little picture and their statements. Because why not? They would inevitably end up laying against eachother in bed scrolling through them all together anyway, at least this way Marshall can get a headstart.
And Marshall does actually swipe through them for a bit, spending more time admiring some of his partners pretty posts than he does reading the never ending stream of comments. The rapper rarely gets on the app himself except to post the occasional merch drop and promo. Social media isn't his forte, and it's not like he could follow Colson's account anyway. Navigating the app and searching for his boyfriends account was too much work when he could just asks for selfies over text.
Thats why when Marshall finishes his browsing and begins backing out of a post back to Colson's homepage he doesn't even care to pay much attention to what he's tapping. The flash of black and loading wheel that lights up the screen completely missed when he tosses it across the bed in lieu of playing around on his own phone.
The livestream he accidentally starts mainly films a blank ceiling through the rest of Colson's shower. The occasional creak and shift on the bed from Marshall's weight and blare of music from his own phones speakers all anyone tuning in can hear.
It doesn't take a brain surgeon for fans to realize the Live has been started unknowingly, but thats not going to stop any of them from filing in.
Maybe if Colson hadn't set his phone to silent the string of text messages might have alerted Marshall to his mistake. But the older rapper relaxes back on the bed less than a foot away blissfully unaware until Colson finally exits the bathroom.
Neither of them notice the phone when Marshall sits up and scoots to the edge of the bed, his body briefly flickering past the frame. They don't see the explosion of comments flying past the screen while they talk and Colson shoves the other man back onto the bed again. Bouncing the phone high enough to almost flip it if fate didn't decide to just scoot it closer to their tangling bodies.
Colson's whole upper body and face is in frame from then on. His cheeks flushed and smile cocky while he straddles his unseen partner. Marshall's fingertips peeking onto the screen where they're tickling the skin covering his ribs.
Its not until after Marshall's sat back up and begun peppering kisses down the front of his throat that he finally catches sight of his half blanket covered phone. An amused accusation about the other rapper trying to sneakily film them prompting Marshall to scoff and reach out for it.
"Probably just the app, shits always opening up to the camera on my phone-"
The rush of comments speeding past the screen and the unmistakeable red dot next to LIVE has Marshall freezing. His wide eyed face fully on screen for 10 seconds before Colson finally pries the phone from his hands to see whats got him so spooked.
Instead of panic, anger is what rushes through Colson's veins. A slew of curses leaving his mouth, before he finally manages to end the live. Phone promptly flying out of his hand against the wall afterwards.
The blonde wants to scream and thrash around. And thats what he does, fingers tearimg at his hair in frustration.
It takes Marshall's fingers softly prying them down for Colson to finally open his eyes again. The utterly terrified look on his partner's face chasing away his residual rage. "Fuck Colson I'm sorry-" its not the first time he's heard Marshall apologize, but it is the first time the man has ever done it while looking so scared of his response.
All the months he'd spent dreaming about his rival making such an expression have nothing on the real thing. And that smug powerful feeling he'd imagined was completely absent now. Just an uncomfortable knot seizing up his chest in it's place.
"I'm not--" his own voice feels tight. Tears threatening to bubble up in his eyes while the reality of the whole situation continues to wash over him. "I'm not mad at you, alright?"
He's mad at the media, at his fans, the rap industry, everything that makes him feel like this little slip up and intimate moment of theirs going viral will ruin their lives.
Colson's sick of hiding who he is and who he's with. Its utter bullshit. Its 2019 for chrissakes, who gives a shit who's banging who? They both make bad ass music either way and liking dick shouldn't change that.
Pushing up off of Marshall, Colson moves to climb off the bed. His hopefully not smashed phone across the room his current focus. But the older rapper snags his wrist and wont let him take more than one step.
And thats when Colson realizes just why Marshall looks so terrified. The man's worried that this is it, that he's going to just leave.
Run away from their problems and abandon the relationship they've been cultivating. Just go full scorched earth.
And that hurts.
So instead the blonde softens his expression and climbs back into bed, onto the other man's lap to hug him tightly. "Fuck Marsh--" He's not about to let the media ruin another relationship. "I love you."
The responding hug is so tight it hurts but Colson doesn't stop. "I fucking love you."
They're falling back onto the bed, legs tangling and Colson's teeth grinding while he rubs his face along the older rapper's shoulder. "I love you"
He doesn't even know what else to say. Now that the words are out it's all his tongue can shape.
"Colson-" Marshall's warm palms are cupping his face, pulling him back so they can stare at eachother
"I love you-" that one hurts the most, maybe because they're eye to eye and just looking at Marshall's soft expression and the possibility of losing it makes him want to crumble. "Please-"
He chokes back a wet sound in the back of his throat before they kiss. Pressing as close as he can, practically trying to glue their mouths together permanently.
Marshall's afraid to lose him just as much. They're idiots for ever thinking it might be a possibilility.
The media can get blown, and so can the industry and their so called fans. The cats out of the bag now and theirs no turning back. If they don't like them together than tough shit. They've both dragged themselves up out of the pits before, this will be no different.
Except, this time they have eachother to lean on.
"I love you to you cornball."
(((Ffffff this sat in my drafts cuz I got distracted by work and life. Im so fucking sorry anon!!!)))
((Also! Thank you anon! For the compliments! Im glad you enjoy my works!))
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kpopnstuff1 · 5 years
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Unrequited Love
AN: Hope you find this Namjoon x Reader fic intresting. I worked hard on this and I hope you like it. Sorry if there are mistakes. Please send feedback and or requests. BORAHAE <3 <3 <3 <3
Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5 Pt6 Pt7 PT8 Finale
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Being out of school and into the real world had always scared you. Even if you were used to it. You had started working since you were 15 and you had always wanted it that way. Your family came from a lot of money, old money to be exact. Your great great something found oil somewhere and well the rest is history. You honestly didn’t care. You thought everything was so stupid. Your family always cared about social stance and stupid money related stuff. That is why you had left the U.S and moved to Korea. You wanted to separate yourself as much as you could.
You were lost in thought and had almost missed your bus stop. Today was your first day at a new job. You had applied as a secretary while you finished your schooling. It was going to be tough but you knew you could do both. Besides you weren't the only secretary. There were 2 secretaries above you. Apparently the CEO of this company needed 3 in order to function. You didn’t bother getting to know him since one of the other secretaries had told you that they would tell you everything you needed to know about your new boss. You had heard horror stories on how rude and how cold he could be so you had prepped yourself this morning. Making yourself feel so confidant, no one could make you feel bad.
“Ah you must be Y/N! You’re early, I like that. My name is Sunni and I’m Mr. Kim’s main secretary.” she extended her hand and you gave it a firm shake. “Tiffany is upstairs with Mr. Kim right now. She will be filling me in today. Poor girl.” she said as she gave you a sad look. “Okay follow me, I’m going to take you to our office.” You quickly followed behind. “We have an office?” you asked with a shaky voice. “Yes we have a small office. Mr. Kim gave us that room so all his things can be in one place. Plus that way all his paperwork is safe from prying eyes. It’s not too great but it’s better than a small desk in the halls like everyone else. Plus when Mr. Kim is busy outside of the office he has other secretaries. That’s when it gets fun because we can talk and listen to music while we work in our office. “Everything seems very fast paced. I’m kind of worried.” You laughed nervously as she opened a door. “Don’t worry, you will do fine. To be honest you have the easiest job out of the three of us. Anyway, please sit down.
You walked into the office, bigger than you had expected. There was a small grey couch and white rug in the center and three desks along the walls. The walls were a mint color and had twinkling lights on the wall. “This is so nice.” “Thank you Y/N. I hope you like it. Feel free to add things here and there.” you nodded.
It had been 2 hours since you had gotten there and she had gone over all the rules with you. You signed privacy papers and papers about falsification , you felt like you had signed your life away. “Mr. Kim is very careful huh?” “yes he is. That’s why he has a total of 5 secretaries. He keeps his life organized.” “Can I ask you a question Sunni?” she nodded putting all your papers in a folder. “So we basically went over everything he likes and how he is and all the rules. But what exactly am I going to be doing?” “oh Y/N, how silly of me. I forgot to tell you the most important thing. You will be taking care of his meetings. You will Schedule in any meetings that he might have and also schedule in his trips for said meetings. Also when he has meetings here in the office you will take notes for him. Any more questions?” You shook your head. “Let's go meet Mr. Kim.” your stomach turned. You were nervous to meet this man.
“Mr. Kim I would like you to meet Y/N. She is your meeting coordinator.” You bowed and he nodded. “Thank you Sunni, you can step out. I have some questions for miss Y/L/N.” She looked surprised as she left the room. “Please, sit down.” you sat down quickly. He kept looking you up and down, and that had made you so nervous. You felt your blood rush to your face and thinking about it only made your legs begin to shake. “So, why did you come to work for me miss Y/L/N?” “Well, I need a job to pay for school and i’m an organized person so I thought I would be great for this job.” He nodded. “I think you are in the wrong profession. You should be an idol or a model.” You were surprised by what he had said. You didn’t know how to respond so you just stayed quiet. He turned around to look at you. “You don’t think you’re pretty he?” he asked as he leaned on the desk in front of you. “I, ugh. I guess I am a little.” He smiled and it made you melt. Mr. Kim Namjoon was so handsome but you tried not to look at him or you would blush. “Pretty and modest. Hard to find these days. May I ask you something miss Y/L/N?” you nodded. “Do you have a boyfriend?” He asked as he sat next to you to rub your thigh.
“That is something private, but if you have to know. No I don’t.” you almost screamed. You had clearly cut the mood in him because he quickly stood up and walked to the door opening it for you. “That will be all, I will see you tomorrow.” he said without looking at you. You walked out and slammed the door. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest thing to do on your first day on the job, but he had crossed the line by asking you personal stuff and touching you.
The day had been so long, and you were exhausted. You never imagined being a secretary would take this much out of you. You arrived home and took a shower. When you were about to sit down to eat your phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Y/N! How are you?”
“What do you need Mother?”
“How rude of you honey. Who says I need anything.” you sighed
“Because mother, every time you call me it's either to yell at me or because you need a favor.”
“Fine, I’ll get to the point. We have an emergency and we need you to step in. I know you hate these things but everything is set all you have to do is go and sign the papers.”
You rolled your eyes at your phone.
“Mother, I moved here to avoid all this shit. Why do I have to do it. Can’t my father come and do it.”
“We are on our way to the airport now but i’m afraid we won’t make it on time.”
You hated dealing with their important stuff. But at the end of the day they were your family and you were not about to let them down more that you already had.
“Fine, Where and what time?” the line went quiet. “Mother?”
“Well, were you work at 9. With Mr. Kim Namjoon. And honey please wear something nice. Something better than today.” she quickly hung up.
YPOV
What!! My mother would pull something like this. She had probably sent the investigator to check up on me and she took the opportunity to send me on her errands because of that. My mother had the habit of not talking to me for months but every so often she would send PIs to check up on me. It was annoying really, but it made me feel safer knowing they kept an eye on me.
I lost my appetite so I went to my room to look for something to wear. I found a maroon dress in the back of my closet and set it aside for tomorrow.
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I shot up disoriented, I quickly looked at my phone. I had slept through my alarm. I quickly got in the shower and changed. I was going to miss my bus if I didn’t hurry up. I put on some makeup and brushed out my hair. I threw on some nude heels and grabbed the only designer bag I had brought to Korea. I caught a glance at myself in a hall mirror. It was funny how clothes made me look like a totally different person. The person in front of me looked  like a million dollars. I laughed and quickly walked out of the building. “Miss Y/L/N.” “Oh my gosh, Sebastian! I haven’t seen you in ages.” “Hello to you too. I missed you Y/N. How is my munchkin doing?” Sebastian had been my driver since I was 11 so when I moved he had stayed back in the U.S. Sebastian was basically my father. Him and my nanny Marisol raised me while my parents were busy doing other things. I started to feel the tears coming. “Lets go Sebastian. I’m going to be late.”
“Thank you for the ride Sebastian. Lets eat lunch later okay.” he nodded and waved as I scurried into the building. I walked up to Tiffany’s desk a little shy. “Hi Tiffany, is Mr. Kim available for his 9 o’clock?” she was busy typing something in. “yea, but they are in his office now.” “who is that?” I asked a little shocked. Had I gotten the wrong time from my mother. Tiffany looked up “woah, Y/N you look….so different.” a nervous laugh escaped my mouth. “Well I’m supposed to be meeting him on a non work related thing.” “wait, are you the Y/L/N daughter. The millionaire family from the U.S?” shit, well there goes my job. “Yea, thats me. But please don’t change with me just because of that.” she smiled and nodded. “Well I believe your mother and father are inside. You can go in if you’d like.” “Thanks.” I said a little confused. I knocked on his office door and walked in without getting an answer first. “Ah the woman of the hour.” I rolled my eyes at him. He was looking out the window not even paying attention to me. “Mother...father. What are you doing here. I thought you weren’t coming until later tonight.” I said as I took a seat next to my mother. “Why would they not come to sign you over to me. It's the least they can do for all the trouble they have caused me and my family.” I shot up in my chair. “Sign over? What do you mean sign over?”
Namjoons POV
It's the least they can do for all the trouble they have caused me and my family.” I turned around. Right as I was going to say something I lost all track of thought. Y/N looked stunning and it shocked me a little. Yesterday she was cute and all but today she looked stunning, so beautiful. Almost angelic in a strange way. I sat down and tried to explain everything. “You see, your father here tried doing bad business with one of my competitors even though he has a contract with me. And I won’t except it. I’m going to blacklist your family.” “What! You can’t” she slammed her hands on my desk. She was inches away from my face. She smelled so sweet. “I Was going to blacklist your family, but your mother here saved the day. She came up with a better plan.” Y/N turned around and gave her mother a confused look. “Honey, you see we had to do this. We can’t ruin everything because of your stupid father. You have always done what you wanted and we let you. So you have to do this for us. Please just this once.” “Mother what are you talking about. Can anyone tell me what’s going on.” Her father finally spoke “You are marrying Namjoon. His family will spare us if you marry him.”
NPOV
You couldn’t believe what was happening. How could your parents sign you away without remorse. You snapped out of it and hit the first thing you saw, which was Namjoon’s face. “You two are done here. Leave me with Y/N.” Namjoon said in a stern face. Your parents quickly got up and left without speaking a word. “If you are going to be mad, be mad at your parents. Don’t take it out on me.” he said as he grabbed you by the wrist and lead you to the chair. You couldn’t help but begin to cry. You knew in your heart you wouldn’t deny the proposal and that’s what made you sad. That even though your parents didn’t  give a crap about you. You still cared about them and of course your two younger siblings. “Look, I’m not as bad as you think. I’m really not too horrible. Yes I have my temper and maybe i’m kind of cold with people but we won’t even see each other much.” Namjoon said as he rubbed your shoulder. “Why me? Why marriage. Do you want someone to fuck then let's do that. But don’t make me give up my opportunity to marry someone that I love.” You started to reach for his pant zipper but Namjoon stopped you. “Look, to be honest i’m stuck in this just as you are. My parents arranged this with your parents. To me it's not a big deal because you’re beautiful and well I do what they want.” he stayed quiet. Almost showing you he was sad. “Why would they arrange something like this?” you asked as you got up to get some water. “I’m getting older and My father is sick and dying. When he leaves us he will leave everything to me. It looks better if i’m married. The investors will feel more secure in me managing the family companies. I don’t have time to mingle and go out so this is just easier for me.” You didn’t like any of it but you knew it was the right thing to do. “I understand, I will do it. Not for me, but for them. Even if they don’t think about my future I think about theirs and my siblings. “So how should we get to this?” “Well, you can hire anyone you want and plan the whole thing. I don’t care. We need to do it as soon as possible so please keep that in mind.”
“I don’t care about planning anything.” He rolled his eyes. “Okay I will have my secretaries plan everything. After the wedding you will move in with me. We have to keep up with appearances. Speaking of which. You will no longer work here. My wife will not be a secretary. And you might as well forget about school. You’re going to be a housewife like all the women I my family.” You were going to start fighting, but you had no strength. You simply nodded and walked out of the office. In that short amount of time your life changed. And not for the better.
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instant insurance quote for multi car
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instant insurance quote for multi car
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instant insurance quote for multi car
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instant insurance quote for multi car
instant insurance quote for multi car
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-does-mean-insurance-underwritten-alexander-rodgers/"
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wellmeaningshutin · 7 years
Text
Short Story #60: Parents.
Written: 3/8/2017
-There’s no way your kid is more fucked up than mine is, do you know all the shit I went through as a kid? There’s a better chance that I accidentally-
-Oh, here we go again, Mrs. Terrible Childhood back up on the soapbox, telling the world about how bad she had it.
-So what? Its not like you had any struggles, you were-
-Its not about me though, its about our children. You got to learn from the mistakes of your parents, so your kid has way better chances of having it easier than mine. I, however, was hardly parented at all and- while you’re at it fill up my glass too-and I don’t even really know what I’m doing.
-Oh, Mrs. Perfect, bragging about how she’s soo great at ruining her kids life, needing another glass of wine to-
-Hey, leave my drinking out of this. You’re two glasses ahead of me anyways.
-Yeah, but I have a higher tolerance, so-
-You think that’s something to brag about? Does drinking all of the time make it okay for you to drink a lot? Its not like we’re in our early 20’s, now-
-Whatever, I had it much rougher than you, you don’t know how much I have to drink to just get through the day. You don’t know how hard I had it-
-You can’t be in your 40’s and talk about how your childhood is holding you back! At this point its your fault for not going to therapy, for not getting any help.
-Do you know how much it would cost for me to go to some quack? Wine is cheaper, and is a better listener than any psychiatrist could ever be, so back off.
-Doesn’t it all add up though? 30 years of hard alcoholism is way more expensive than one year of-
-Here we go again, Mrs. Perfect trying to tell everybody how to handle their problems! Bitch, you haven’t gone through anything, so you shouldn’t be the one telling everyone how to deal with shit that you’ve never gone through. You’re like those rich snobs who tell the poor that its their fault that-
-Okay, lets not make this political. If you go down that road, we’re not going to even mention our kids, and then what will have been the point of this bet?
-Are you saying you’re one of those “pick yourself up by the bootstraps” types?
-No, I’m just-
-Are you saying that because people are on welfare that they can’t contribute to society, that its their fault that-
-Lets just drop this, okay? I thought you were supposed to have a higher tolerance than me. You’re only two glasses ahead, and now you can’t stop rambling about-
-Well, actually, I did some drinking before you got here, so its a little more than two glasses.
-Wait, how much have you-no, stop pouring I’m only halfway through this glass. If you keep doing that I’ll have no idea how much I’ve been drinking and-
-Mrs. Perfect needs to watch her intake, Mrs. Perfect can’t hold her liquor, la di da.
-This isn’t liquor, its win.
-Oh, so now you’re going to give me a chemistry lecture now, huh? Just because you have a fancy, college degree-
-You have one too, why are you-
-Yeah, but yours is, you have one from some fancy-
-I went to a community college, meanwhile you have a-wait, I’m not getting into this right now. How drunk are you exactly?
-Sober enough to know that I’m going to take all of your money with this bet. You’re wasting so much time, I can’t believe, I, I have to put up with all of this-
-Actually, fill up this glass. If your going to be this much of a mess then-
-My kid is the real mess-
-Then I’ll have to get drunk just to be able to put up with you.
-A bigger mess than your kid. Now, listen to this, bitch: I love my parents very much, they are the best parents in the world, and I love them… No, wait. Let me skip ahead, past this bullshit. I swear I remember, oh yeah, here it is. Dear Diary, today at school I had fun. We found a frog but then I stepped on it, now I feel bad. My mom was sleeping all day, so I went to my grandma’s house for a while until my dad picked me up. Grandma told me that I was a little sinner, and then she put out cigarettes on my arms. I cried a lot, but she didn’t stop. I do not-
-Woah woah woah, just because your bat shit mother is physically abusing your kid, that doesn’t mean that they’re messed up, it just means that messed up stuff is-
-Let me finish! When she was watching her show, she made me clean out her oven but I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I looked everywhere for something to clean with. She told me that if I wasn’t done in a while then she would burn me again. I do not like the burns and she tells me that its to prepare me for hell, and I do not like that either. I wish my mom didn’t sleep so much so that I could be home with her and eat ice cream all day.
-Like I was saying before, abuse doesn’t make your kid messed up, it just makes your mom messed up.
-Well, why didn’t you say that before then, huh? Why’d you let me, waste, why did-
-I did say that before-yeah, fill mine up too, thanks. You want me to open up a new bottle?
-Yeah, I think I have a nice-
-Do you want me to get this pink one, or this yellowish one?
-What do you mean by yellow? I don’t buy yellow wine, do you think that I’m some dumb teen-teenage girl who doesn’t know what kind of wines to buy? Thinking that yellow is good, because she-
-Oh, wait, the label says its a white wine.
-How did you not know that by sight? Do you not know your wines or something? I though you, you’re always so up in the air, your nose is way up there looking down on everyone-
-I don’t know what you’re trying to-
-Let me finish! Okay? You wont know what I’m saying unless you let me finish. You’re always thinking you’re better than everyone, did you know that? Huh? Looking down on people, with your nose up in the air, got all your airs up their because you’re putting them on, one leg at a time, thinking your special because of that, well let me tell you what, you ugly bitch. Everybody puts them on a leg at a time, and that doesn’t make, you’re not any better because you do the same things, the, what everyone else does. Do you know what I think? I think you were so, like, your parents would always pat you on the head for every little thing. Like, good job walking on your legs, good job brushing your teeth, good job putting on your pants, and now its like, like you suddenly think that because they… Oh shit. I’m really drunk.
-Yeah, I know-
-No, like, I’m reeally drunk. Like, don’t-give-me-any-more-wine drunk. Like, I’m gonna, uh, I’m going to-
-Wait, hey, put that phone down.
-No.
-Who are you going to call?
-My kid, I’m gonna yell at her, I don’t-
-Why are you-just put the phone down. Give it to me!
-I need to ask her where all of the good stuff is, I want to win this bet don’t I? You think you’re the only one who wants to win, well guess what-
-I’ll give you more wine if you give me the phone.
-Ad Homenim, I give you give.
-Quid pro quo.
-What?
-That’s what, nevermind. Here, give me the phone, and then I’ll pour you some wine.
-Here you go Misses, Mrs. I Can’t Hold My Liquor. Mrs. Judgment.
-Which wine do you want?
-The pink is supposed to be really good, I think, I saw it somewhere.. Where was it? Maybe, maybe it was on a billboard, and the people drinking it were so happy, and I wanted to.. Like, is that how they get you?
-Oh my god, this smells terrible. Its like motor oil.
-Hello?
-Oh, is that how who gets you?
-The advertising people, do they just… Like, how did they know that I was so unhappy, how did they know that..
-Well, a lot of people drink to forget about upsetting things. Just because you drink like that doesn’t make you special, just like when you talked about me putting on airs, or pants, or whatever-
-Yeah, but, but nobody had it as bad as.. Or… Wait. So there are enough people out there with bad childhoods for them to, to target us?
-Not just bad childhoods, but all sorts of bad things happening to them. Life is an awful thing, its full of awful things, so a lot of people feel awful, and alcohol makes that go away. Its like emotional morphine.
-Yeah, but, I thought people also abused morphine, and those pain killers, to get away from emotional problems too?
-Okay, yeah, but a lot of things are to just get away from all of the emotional pain, almost everything is designed to distance yourself from it. Life is just one big struggle to let the good outweigh the bad, and if you’re able to die happy then you’ve-
-Oh god, I don’t want to think about dying right now.
-I’m sorry.
-Its like, you never know when, so you always wonder.. Like, will I see tomorrow? I could-
-Here, let me read my kid’s diary, okay? Remember the bet? Which one is more fucked up? Drink your wine, forget about it.
-Why is this clear?
-You’re just really drunk.
-Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Oh yeah, I can’t even taste it, that’s always bad. You know its been too much-listen up. You never drink so, so I’m going to impart some wisdom onto you. I’m like your spiritual guide right now, showing you how, how if you can’t taste the alcohol anymore, you’re really drunk, and you should probably stop drinking for a while. Drink some water, or, better yet, piss it all out.
-Thanks for that, now I-
-Wait, I just remembered, if your stomach feels all bad, and its not fun being drunk anymore, consider taking a shot or something to make yourself throw up. That way, you get all of the sick out of you, and then you can go back to having fun. I know you’re, you’re all fancy but there’s nothing wrong with vomiting, all people do it. Hell, my cat does it a lot, and that things so fucking adorable. Where is it?
-Don’t you want to.. Remember the bet? Just sit here, listen to what my kid wrote down, you’re falling apart.
-I’m just starting to come together.
-Here, listen to this: Dear diary,
-How come all of these kids always start that shit the same way. Dear diary, dear diary. Its not like it can listen to them, you know? Its not like, and why don’t they just write “Dear snooping parents” since thats way more likely to happen, its, okay you look upset, I’ll let you. Keep going.
-Dear diary, school is not fun. Nobody wants to play with me. They say they don’t like the way my hair looks, but I like it. I don’t know why people are mean. My teacher is mean to me, she says that I can’t read, and I will have to go back a grade. I’m the best reader in my class. I don’t know why she is so mean. I don’t know why everyone doesn’t like me. I met a new friend, he is tall and his hair is made of electricity. His body looks like a lava lamp. He has big arms that move around. He tells me that-
-This is, wow, you might-
-Shhh! He tells me that he can teach me how to blow them up with my mind, so that I-what the fuck am I? What the hell is this? Look, she added in a drawing, what the fuck is this thing?
-It kind of looks like those guys, the ones that dance by the cars, you know like-
-Haha, what the hell are you doing?
-I’m doing the dance, showing you what I mean. Too many people rely on words to get their points across, but I believe in body language, it helps me-
-Okay, but you’re getting water everywhere.
-This isn’t wine?
-Oh, I, uh.. He tells me that he will teach me how to blow people up with my mind, so that nobody will be mean anymore. He tells me the secret is to be really nice, and it will… I’m just going to skip ahead, this is getting too weird.. Oh, hey, look at that. She has a list of all of the people that she’s going to blow up.
-I can’t make it out, its kid scribble, it keeps moving around.
-No, you’re the one that’s moving around, I told you to stop doing that dance.
-Fuck, I’m really drunk.
-I know.
-But I just love dancing.
-I know.
-Dance with me.
-No, we, listen, I’ll just read the list to you. Hm… Oh shit.
-What.
-I think I’m on the list. Yeah, right here, she put “mom”. Huh, I guess I actually might be an awful parent. Shit, if I win this bet then I’m going to have to use that money to, for putting my kid through therapy. A lot of this is really freaking me out.
-Its not a surprise that you’re a bad mom, your worse than me you know.
-Why’s that?
-Well, you did, oh shit-
-See, that’s why I wanted you to stop wiggling around. There’s glass everywhere, and I’ll get it, I just.. Fuck.. Ow.
-What happened.
-Nothing.
-Why are you laying there? Did you fall? How drunk are you?
-Drunk enough to not want to get up. This has to be the most comfortable floor in the, how do you think they got it to feel so nice? Did you have to pay extra for it?
-No, its dirty and shitty, you’re just really drunk, drunker than me. I guess I’ll have to get on your level then. Where’s the pink wine, I’ll just drink from the bottle.
-Its under the sink.
-Why did you put it there? Oh, oh my. Is this, did you drink this whole thing?
-I was trying to get on your level, but now you have to get on my level, its like what I said about-
-I didn’t think you had it in you
-Balancing happiness, but we had to balance being drunk, and now we’re stuck, its, like, its like a fat kind, and a skinny kid, and we’re both sitting on the see saw, and no matter what we do, up or down, we’re always stuck. You know? Maybe if we brought in another skinny kid, that could be enough weight to..
-You’re kind of stuck in that, where did you find the time to drink all of this. I’m sorry, I can’t focus on the nonsense that is coming out of your mouth, but, wow.
-Haha
-I think you might be my new hero. Are you going to fall asleep, or do you just not want to move?
-My muscles are drunk, but my brain is more alive than ever. Its like, I’m a soul who has wondered-
-Okay, okay, I’ll read this to you. Hows that sound? I can still win you know.
-Okay, but scratch my back. Yeah. That’s nice, that’s calming. Its like how my, my mother used to do it that way too you know. I feel like a kid again, lying on the floor, getting my.. Yeah, this is nice. Thank you so much. You’re really a good mom, I think you might, you’re a better parent then me so you’ll definitely lose.
-Dear Diary, grandma fell asleep with a cigarette in her mouth. It was still on fire, but I let it sit there. I hoped that it would fall on her and she would burn, but instead it went out. I took her cigarettes so that she wont burn me, but she just hit me with a stick instead. I still have them. I am going to smoke all of them, so I can get sick and die. In class we learned that they make you sick. If I get sick and die then grandma will go to hell, while I eat ice cream in… what the hell. What’s with her and ice cream, like why is she so fixated on that one food?
-That’s just how kids are. But who doesn’t want ice cream? Isn’t that all there is to life, ice cream-no. No don’t stop scratching, you’re making me feel like a cat. They have it good in life, but they don’t get ice cream, they have to eat raw fish, or whatever it is that-
-Now are you going to go on and on about ice cream too?
-Maybe, it sounds really good right now. Do you have any?
-Yeah, a ton, but that, that could be why she always talks about it in here. But you think that she’d want, like at least, when I was a kid it was always pizza. That’s what I always wanted, a big pizza. And ice cream. Those are like, those are the main food groups when you’re a kid. And candy.
-And cereal.
-Yeah, that too. You want me to get you some ice cream?
-No, no, I can’t eat anything or I’ll die. And if you got it, then who would make, make me feel, who would scratch my back and make me feel like a kid again. Its like, that was such a great time in life, you know, like there were no responsibilities, and you could eat whatever you wanted, like, everything was just so simple.
-I think you’re romanticizing, like a little bit, I mean its not always good. You’re just drunk, and you’re thinking about your own. Look at your messed up kid.
-She’s the most fucked up kid that ever, and like, she’s more messed up than yours.
-Exactly. Her whole life is just being bullied, and anger, and she just wants to blow everybody up because she’s so angry. Isn’t that.. Aren’t children awful? Nobody should want to go back to that, that nastiness, and you’re so weak and, you can’t protect yourself from anything. Like, my kid, who.. Oh god, I’m such a terrible mother, aren’t I?
-Under the sun, we are all bad parents.
-Like, I’m drinking away all of my bad memories, and then my kid sees me drinking, and then she has to, because of that, deal with the same awful person that, put my life as a living hell and its just all one big cycle. I’m so wrapped up in my bullshit, and I can’t even help my kid, so my kid is going to make all of the mistakes, and-
-Sorry, I zoned out a little, you’re just too comfortable. Aren’t you floor, aren’t you hands? Its like for a while, nothing existed, except for the good vibrations.. How did that song go?
-I need a drink.
-This is going to kill me if I can’t figure this out. Can you, do you remember that song?
-I can’t believe that this is my last bottle, I can’t believe I bought white wine. Wait. No, this was a gift. Who the hell would, why would you give an alcoholic more, why is that okay? Who does that?
-Please, just hum it for me. Just hum the gist and I’ll remember how it goes.
-This has to be, I have to stop drinking after tonight. Ugh, I hate white wine so much, like, who, why would they make this? Who are they making it for? That doesn- does not go down easy. You know what, this won’t be my last, I need to have something better before I quit.
-Please, its killing me inside. I need to know how this goes.
-Ugh. Oh man, this is the worst. Who.. Who won the bet?
-I can’t type this in, I can find the video, but the buttons are too small I keep, can you type? I can’t do this.
-Who won though, who gets the money?
-Please, I need to know how the song goes.
-I’ll type it in if you tell me who won.
-We’re terrible moms, nobody wins, now type this in because I can’t stand not knowing how that song goes.
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