#i always intended to do a full vid with this song but i just never did

[kateis-cakeis]

I made this edit years ago as a part of a larger... uh, crack vid (my crack vids always end up angsty somehow sjhgfhdfg) but because of youtube at the time (you couldn't check if your youtube channel would just get blasted) I uploaded it elsewhere.

But to this day I'm still proud of this edit, so in the spirit of the anniversary, I'm uploading it here :)

[ramblingsekai]

Oh god, I bought Rogue Legacy 2 and Slay the Spire and I’ve been so distracted playing them that the Stray Bad Dogs event snuck up on me. I’ve barely been checking tumblr and twitter and just happened to notice bc the L/n event ended last night. Anyways, I decided to do some scrolling thru tumblr and decided to make some random HCs that I couldn’t figure out how to make into longer posts. Just gonna be something fun and kinda scrambled thoughts I’m dumping into one post. I think I did something similar one time but it ended up being only 25ji HCs, but this time I’ll try to do more than them. Let’s gooo.

MMJ HC

Assuming that MMJ is using something like YT or Twitch to stream their stuff, I like to think that MMJ’s friends end up getting mod status or something similar. Eventually MMJ get full-time mods that aren’t their friends, but I think it’d be cute if the other characters pop in to watch the streams when they can and end up helping out if they’re there.

Kohane and An would type messages to cheer on MMJ as well as reminding ppl to be respectful.

Shiho, Ena, and An also end up being the ones to block spammers and delete more hateful messages. Bc there’s always going to be trolls, but hopefully other fans also help out too.

I’d like if Nene helps out with modding in general too, but I’m not sure how close Nene is with MMJ. I think she might be friends with Minori after Scramble Fest, but it’s hard to say.

If it’s Twitch, maybe Mizuki ends up helping out by making highlight vids every once in awhile (I think Mizuki is a fan anyways so not out of bounds).

All their friends usually end up reblogging/retweeting posts about special events for MMJ.

Like obviously the other characters aren’t full time and are just helping out when they can, but I always wonder how well MMJ is handling the more streaming live/online videos aspect of their careers at this point. I know that the latest Haruka event in JP talked about a new producer for the group, a not Tik Tok app, and MMJ getting flamed bc of a new song sounding similar to another one as well as showing Haruka dealing with her previous feelings about her temporary retirement. This is all based on what I saw on Twitter and some machine translations, but I’d rather not form assumptions based on machine translations and unfortunately there aren’t any fan translations for the event online so I guess I’ll just wait for now.  

VBS

So something I’ve never been able to clearly remember, did Akito ever properly apologize to Kohane about the whole stage lights thing in the main story? I feel like Kohane and An just sorta forgave him after learning the truth, but Akito himself never actually said ‘I’m sorry’. So I kinda want Akito to at some point to properly say that he is sorry to Kohane. Bc even if he wasn’t the one to close the lights, he still intended to try to scare off Kohane bc he didn’t think she was serious about performing music. Now I get it, Akito is super serious about music and thinks that if you’re saying you want to surpass Rad Weekend, you need to be serious. However, Kohane was still a rookie at the time. Just bc she was still new, it didn’t mean she wasn’t serious about it. Akito was new at some point too and had to learn about Vivid Street and music too before realizing his dream more. So I guess it just sorta rubs me the wrong way that Akito tried so hard to scare off Kohane, bc Akito himself was a rookie too at the start and he didn’t give Kohane a chance to pursue the dream. I also wonder if Akito has high-ish standards for An since she’s Ken’s daughter and is serious (in his POV) about surpassing RW, so in a way he felt like An wasn’t living up to his standards. I should probably have reread the main story before typing this, but Akito’s actions and attitude in the main story always seemed pretty hypocritical and petty to me, so I kinda just want him to sit down with Kohane and give a proper apology.

I know it seems like I dislike Akito from this, but I honestly like the guy. Out of all the guys in Proseka, he’s actually my favorite alongside Toya. A thing to keep in mind, Akito is a teenager, and teenagers do dumb and petty shit often bc they’re teenagers. I don’t excuse his actions, but I get it. And he did seem to learn from the whole thing and ended up becoming good friends with An and Kohane still. Plus, I think he’s actually pretty perceptive towards others feelings ( i.e An’s events, Ena and their dad, Toya, etc.). 

So my HC with Akito is that maybe he was so harsh with Kohane bc he saw a partial reflection. Kohane has a lot of parallels alongside Toya (not seeing RW but still trying to surpass it, quieter/calmer personalities, etc), but I think Kohane also has some parallels with Akito. Both don’t come from a musical background, so they had to start from the ground up, their respective partners are more experienced in music than they are, etc. But maybe when first seeing Kohane, he’s reminded of his younger self and soccer. Akito was really crushed about soccer during that summer festival event and ended up being lost until he found a new passion in street music. But the road was probably hard since he had to go it alone, plus this was probably going on at the same time as his home situation with Ena and their dad having their first fight. It got easier over time, especially after meeting Toya. So I wonder if when he first saw Kohane, he saw a version of his younger self and was trying to somehow spare her from the displaced feeling he felt after being crushed in soccer. Again, not to excuse his actions bc it’s still kinda shitty, but showing another POV of what he did.

Obviously, Akito and Kohane are good friends now, but I also hope that Akito and Kohane’s friendship as well as An and Toya’s friendship grow more in the future. I saw around Twitter ppl complaining about how VBS feels more like 2 groups who happen to sing songs together rather than one cohesive unit like w/ the other groups, and I get it. But I also disagree, since I think VBS is learning from each other and the whole 2 pairs thing is sort of a rivalry thing. The pairs push each other to be better as well as helping each other out. Akito helps An out with her feelings/actions towards Kohane as her partner, An reminds Akito that he’s not alone and has a group of friends he can rely on, Kohane is an unpolished diamond that is slowly revealing her shine which is pushing the others to keep moving forward/improving, Kohane is also a sort of opposite of Toya in that she’s a more natural type of musical genius who understands the feeling behind music (we see this with her lessons from Taiga and how open with her emotions she is) while Toya is the more classically trained genius who has put hundreds of hours into music. So Kohane and the others help Toya out with his feelings and music while Toya/An/Akito also helps teach Kohane the ropes. Their combined rigorous training and Kohane’s hard work outside of their practice ends up causing Kohane to level up faster (VBS Miku points that out too at some point in an event later lol).

So yeah that’s all I’m going to put for now. I said I’d do multiple groups, but I ended up doing like 2 groups and they were pretty large rambles too lol. Still, I haven’t done a long ramble in awhile so this was kinda fun for me. I noticed I’ve been slowing down with the longer posts bc I’ve kinda caught up on all the fan translation stuff so now I have to reread stuff or just wait for it to come out on global.

I realize I sorta ended up posting more incorrect quotes stuff than rambles/theories stuff lately. I wonder if I should cut back on that or not? (let me know if that type of stuff is annoying).

But still, let me know your thoughts on what I said. Agree, disagree? Did I miss something? Feel free to let me know. Thanks for reading!

[ellstersmash]

Not to Keep

Fandom: Mass Effect (Original Trilogy) Pairing: Kaidan x f!Shepard Rating: T for Teen (cw for alcohol use) Words: 2.7k [Read on Ao3]

shep and kaidan go undercover, set early in me1. this was originally a prompt for "fake relationship" from Leather & Lace Romance Week, but then I waited 3.5 years to finish it 🥀

-

It all seemed so simple. Infiltrate a wedding, extract intel on Benezia, use that to find Saren.

Easy-peasy.

Until Shepard shows up in the shuttle bay looking like that. They've only been working together for a couple of months, and Kaidan has seen her covered in blood spatter, dripping sweat post-PT—hell, even bare naked in a hotel room. But it’s safe to say he never thought he'd see her like this. Full makeup, soft curls, a long red dress that shouldn't fit anyone that perfectly, and, dangling from two fingers, a pair of classy black heels.

Kaidan swallows hard and gives her a curt nod. “Ma’am.”

“Alenko.” He shifts on his feet as her eyes travel the length of his body and back up, her cool stare giving nothing away. “You clean up nice.”

“Ah, thanks. And you look—”

“Oh, I'm dressed to kill.” Lips the same shade as her dress curve into a grin. “Figuratively, for once.”

Kaidan chokes and laughs, caught off guard in a mixture of nerves and surprise. “Was that a joke, Commander?”

Her expression narrows into a pinched, self-deprecating smirk. “If you have to ask, then no. And I definitely haven't been thinking about it since Williams zipped this damn thing up.”

The thought of his CO, this formidable woman, giggling to herself over a stupid joke for an hour is... well, it’s uncharacteristically cute. Kaidan rolls it around in his head for an indulgent minute, trying on the fit before letting the image go.

Just one more thing to jam into that Never Gonna Happen file.

“Right,” she says, back to business. “Let’s get this over with.”

They board the shuttle for the short trip to the venue, and go over the mission brief one final time: intel extraction remains their highest priority—one of their hosts, Polona T’Shan, was rumored to have a close business connection with the matriarch; protecting their cover is important, but heavy security is not expected; their false identity profiles should be enough to get them in the door, and from there the two of them will be responsible for avoiding unwanted attention by appearing as a couple.

Kaidan knows his own limits. He’s a soldier, not an actor. This pretending to be someone else, this lie, it isn't part of his training and it sure as hell isn't part of who he is. But if Shepard’s as nervous as he is, she isn't showing it.

She’s looking at him again, in that intense all-in way she sometimes does. Before her, he had never met someone who was aware of—and pursued—what they wanted with such confidence, such dogged determination, and to have that kind of focus set on him even for just a moment is… terrifying. In a good way, he thinks. It makes him feel warm and cold at the same time. It also makes him want to stare right back, but that way lies only trouble, and none of them need another helping. Not right now.

Kaidan leans back and rests his head on the cool, if slightly unsteady, inner shuttle wall as Shepard drums a rhythmless pattern into the space between their seats.

---

Kyra drains her glass.

As it turns out, Asari weddings aren't all that different from the few human ones she’s attended. Though this reception is a far more extravagant affair than she’s used to: four days of mingling and games and dancing and drinking and food. Really not her cup of tea.

And apparently not Alenko’s, either.

He’d made a beeline for the bar as soon as they’d entered, and returned with an easier stride and a glass full of some bubbling neon sugary shit for her. She’d have preferred something stronger, of course, but they do have a mission to complete. If they can manage to get Polona alone for a moment.

She slips her hand into the crook of his elbow and feels him stiffen, then relax. Quick and conscious. He’s nervous, out of place, on edge, and then completely calm and collected.

No doubt in her mind he was the right pick for this one.

The thought settles her stomach, and just in time. Two asari approach, their hands extended in enthusiastic welcome.

“Greetings!” one of them says, with a voice smooth and sweet as wildflower honey. “Oh, what a lovely pair you two make. Right out of the vids, could be. This one’s even better looking up close, don’t you think so, Liria?” The asari takes Alenko’s hand, sensual and deliberate, then turns her attention to Kyra. “And goddess, that dress is stunning; really, sweetie, it fits you like a glove. You”—she drags one finger down Alenko’s lapel—“are a lucky man, I hope you know.”

Eyes wide, he clears his throat and coughs, then regains his composure with a brief glance in Kyra’s direction.

The second asari offers an apologetic look to each of them in turn. “Rialla, darling, slow down or you’ll scare them off.”

“They certainly look sturdy enough.”

“I am so sorry. She’s had quite a bit to drink, I’m afraid. Never could pace herself at a wedding.” She laughs. “My name is Liria, and my companion’s name is Rialla, and ever since we saw you walk in, we have just been itching to get to know you.”

Kyra plasters what she hopes is a warm smile on her face, mentally pulling up her cover identity as reference. “Emily, and I’m delighted to meet you both. This is John, my um—”

“Her very lucky partner.”

The two matriarchs titter and tease him, both in turn, and once again he’s in control. Kyra can’t help but be impressed by how effortlessly he charms them. And she’s far from immune. It’s her mission, yet she is all too prepared to be led around the room by that firm hand at the small of her back.

Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko: respected Alliance Marine, powerful L2 biotic, all-around stand-up guy, and—apparently—a smooth son-of-a-bitch. It’s an unexpected feature for someone so soft-spoken and unpretentious. Like he has a hidden switch somewhere.

Or a button.

Press For Instant Charisma.

She briefly entertains the idea of hunting for it, then aborts the thought with a twist of her lips and tunes back in to the conversation.

---

The lie is getting easier. Shepard is tucked under Kaidan’s arm, and he’s almost comfortable.

Their new friends are exactly the right sort. Nosy, talkative, well into their cups, and connected. Old friends of their mark, both of them, and Liria has history with Benezia herself. Shepard spins her tale about a chance meeting with the missing matriarch at a charity benefit and their tapering correspondence, followed by a rumor igniting hope for reconnection. And they eat it right up.

All he has to do is act natural and help Shepard keep them talking.

“Well, you know Polona wasn’t only Benezia’s lawyer.” Liria leans in close, her voice not quite as hushed as she probably intended. “They were involved, some centuries back. Quite the scandal at the time, but then Benezia always had... selfish tendencies. Now, I’m not sure why they parted ways, or how serious it was, but—”

Not to be outdone, Rialla’s hands flutter for attention as she pipes in. “It must be more than a passing fling from two hundred years ago, though, because I heard that her Turian lover—or, well, husband now—almost called off this very wedding!”

“Really?” Shepard asks. What’s supposed to be idle curiosity is bordering on serious interest, her voice taking on a firm, interrogative quality to match her narrowed gaze, but a brush of his thumb on her shoulder and she reigns it in. Loosens up with a tilt of her head and a hand to his thigh that has him tensing up instead.

“Oh, yes,” Rialla says. “It was all very tenuous there for a while. And to think, then the four of us would never have met!”

Kaidan raises his glass with a smile as genuine as he can muster. “A tragic loss for us, to be sure.”

With a deep, warm smile, Rialla fans her face and leans in close to Shepard, but speaks for the whole table to hear. “Do let me know when you're finished with him, would you, dear? I think I may be quite in love.”

He's fine until Shepard smirks, then he's far too warm. Suffocating.

He tugs at his collar. “You think their, uh, conflict had something to do with Polona and Benezia’s involvement?”

“I seriously doubt it,” Liria says with a dismissive wave of her hand. “That was ages ago, not yesterday. Beni’s still pining after Aeth—”

Rialla laughs. “Oh, it’s Beni, now? I had no idea you were such intimate friends!”

“I’m 800 years old, my dear.” Liria scoffs. “I have quite a few friends you don’t know about.”

“Is that supposed to make me jealous?”

“Of course not, don’t be silly!”

“Silly? Goddess, must you always be so patronizing?”

“Must you always twist my words?”

“Oh, here we go!”

The situation spirals into chaos before either he or Shepard can recover it, and she stands up from the table, pulling at his elbow.

“I love this song,” she mutters pointedly, and leads him to the dance floor. It’s a slow number, thank god. He’s not nearly drunk enough to dance to something with a beat.

They sway slowly, and she presses close, his neck prickling underneath her palm. His own hands settle on her waist, then more naturally to her hips.

“Damn,” she whispers. “Damn.”

“I know. But hey, we’ve got the rest of the night. And tomorrow night. And the next night. And—”

“The next night, I know.” She groans and drops her head to his shoulder.

Kaidan smiles into her hair.

---

The night is officially over. The band is still playing, but most of the guests are gone, and despite making a number of connections, they’ve learned nothing more about Benezia's whereabouts.

They have, however, made decent use of the open bar.

Kyra downs the last of her champagne and orders a cocktail, dealer's choice. It arrives glowing and smoking and she takes the skyward trajectory of Alenko’s brows as a personal challenge not to hesitate.

A potent combination of peppermint and blueberries and battery acid hits the back of her throat and makes her head swim on contact.

Next to her, Alenko is nursing his third.

“How’s your drink?” he asks.

“Surprising.”

“In a good way or a bad way?”

“Um… Yes.” She clinks her fingernail against his glass. “How’s your whiskey?”

He frowns and takes a sip. “This is not whiskey.”

“Didn’t realize you were such a connoisseur.”

“No, I mean it is literally not whiskey. Didn’t have it, I guess.” He drinks again. “It’s weird, right? Walk into any bar on Earth and they’ll have a dozen to pick from, but soon as you take off…”

“Yeah.” She sighs. “No burgers. No guac. No ice cream.”

The low chuckle he gives is a sound she’d like to hear again. And again, and again, and—

“When you put it like that, this spacer life is a real sorry existence.”

Kyra nods and wonders what he misses most from home. Or who. But that is none of her business, so she empties her glass and tips the bartender in preparation to leave.

“Sorry tonight was a bust, Shepard.”

“It wasn’t a total loss. Decent food, free booze.” She rests her chin on one closed fist. “Good company.”

“By that, I assume you mean our new asari friends.”

“Sure.”

Holding his gaze is harder than it should be. He cradles his nearly-empty glass and taps his fingers in sequence. Up and down, like a zipper.

At last, he looks away. “I was going to say ‘beautiful,’ by the way.”

“Hmm?”

“Earlier, before we left. I was going to tell you how incredible you looked, but then you interrupted me, and I never really got the chance to say it so I figured I might as well say it now.”

Warmth rises in her belly and she rides it like a wave, unscathed and unchanged on the other side. She turns to face him, wriggling in the seat in preparation like he’s about to try and upend her. “All right, Alenko. Hit me. I’m ready.”

He gives a huff of nervous laughter, one hand going straight to the back of his neck. “Well, uh... that was pretty much it.”

“That’s it? You waited all night to tell me that you were going to tell me I looked beautiful, but didn’t?”

His lips roll together, and he cedes the point with a tilt of his head, then meets her eyes again before his take a slow, uncertain wander around the rest of her features.

“Shepard,” he says when he makes it back, and it’s a name so overused it may as well be a title—but not spoken like that. Low and drawn out and a little bit reverent, it becomes almost intimate for the first time in years and she can't help but wonder how her first might sound.

“You look really beautiful tonight.”

Oh. Oh no. Kyra knows she should say thank you, and tell him to finish his drink so they can get out of here, but this next wave won’t subside and the air won’t reach her lungs and all she can do is stare at him.

“I mean, not just tonight, but especially—” he continues, visibly flustered by her silence. “You know, the dress and the lips—ah, make-up! And, and the hair and everything, it’s just very, um, tasteful, and… Um.” He clears his throat and pushes his drink away by inches, folding his hands tight together. "Feel free to stop me anytime.”

Ah. There. That’s the Alenko she knows and can handle.

“Now why would I do a thing like that?” she says, sending a silent prayer of thanks to whichever god kept her voice from breaking.

The smile they exchange is soft and charged and it smooths him over. His eyes are brown. Kyra knew that already, but clinically. On paper. Hair: black. Eyes: brown. Year of birth: 2151.

She didn’t know it like this, tangibly, all wrapped up and swept away in a simple fact.

This time she’s the one to give in. “You know, you should really keep that button pressed, Alenko.”

“What?”

“The charisma button.” She jerks her head toward the door, grabs his hand for the sake of anyone who might still be awake and sober enough to notice, and leads him out. “Push it. More.”

“I— what?”

Kyra chuckles to herself and steps into the elevator. “Forget it.”

The doors close once she chooses a floor and she regrets taking his hand because now she has to let go.

Kiss me. Come on, Alenko. Quick, before we go back. She can’t think it any louder, can’t make it any clearer without crossing a line. Be better if he does it, but he won’t. She knows he wants to just like she knows he never will, because he’s a good soldier and a good soldier doesn’t fuck with the chain of command. Not without a compelling reason, at least, and she can’t give him one.

Their floor lights up and reality pours in. He follows her across the dock, at a distance now that no one who would care might be watching.

Kyra takes a sharp, deep breath. Three more nights of this—unless they can get their intel sooner. Three more nights of flirting and dancing and soft touches all for show and not to keep. Maybe she should have brought Williams after all. Or Garrus. Or anyone else.

Distracted, she nearly trips getting into the shuttle, and somehow he’s right there, a broad hand on her waist to steady her.

A nod and he detaches. Steps back. “Ma’am.”

Ma’am. But he is a terrible liar, and she’s never been good at a long con.

[kaidans-alenko]

26 on physical affection prompts: bonus: touching feet and immediately screaming and recoiling for kaidan + lily? (because it reads like them lol)

Ha! You’re absolutely right lol it seems all I know how to write is me1 or post-war fluff pieces but any who, I hope you like it and as usual thank you for sending one <3  

AO3 Link 

The smell of pancakes traveled from the kitchen to the small bedroom Lily was still asleep in. Mmmm pancakes….when was the last time she even had pancakes? With her brother maybe? Aiden couldn't really cook but he did know how to make pancakes. 

Lily let out a high pitched noise as she stretched out like a cat, rolling onto her back, the warm sunlight coming through the window at odds with the cool breeze from the quiet ceiling fan above her. It had been a long time since she had woken up to actual sun and not just the fabricated day cycle on the Citadel but actual sun. 

She blinked awake, taking in her surroundings from where she lay still on the bed, that's right, she was in Kaidan's apartment. So far the only room she had seen was the bedroom, he had intended to give her a tour but that of course didn't happen. 

Lily giggled to herself at the memory of it, smiling as she sat up, Kaidan sure had taste and for a previously single guy who was hardly ever home it was surprisingly clean, well besides the clothes strewn about, courtesy of Lily’s impatience, it was clean. His bed was pretty big too, he didn’t seem like the kind of guy that slept around so maybe he just liked having room to sprawl out in, she knows she did. She hopped out of bed, nearly falling on her face, the bed was pretty high up to begin with but her general clumsiness didn’t help things. “Let’s see...underwear, underwear, ah!” Lily picked up the pink lacy piece of fabric off the floor quickly slipping it back on, carefully snatching the blue flannel that was hanging off the lamp, throwing it on just as Kaidan walked into the room with breakfast.

“Well good morning.” He said, barely containing a smirk. 

“Sorry...I got cold.” 

Kaidan shrugged “There are certainly worse things to see first thing in the morning.” 

Lily rolled her eyes “Those better be the pancakes I smelled earlier.” she threatened as she crawled back into bed.  

“Sorry, cereal.”

Lily sighed dramatically, falling back against the pillows “Does it at least have marshmallows?” 

“No but your hot chocolate does.” He told her, Lily’s ears perking up immediately and she sat with her legs crisscrossed on the bed.

“Hot chocolate?” The one way to her heart and Kaidan knew it. 

“Peppermint even.”  he said as he got in bed next to her, setting the tray across from her.

“You remembered!” Lily picked up the mug, letting out a content hum as she sipped at it.

“Hard to forget when you drink five cups a day.” He teased, kissing her head.

“Listen, I can’t have coffee, I need to improvise.” 

“And tea also has too much caffeine?” He asked.

“Exactly!” she set the mug down, picking up her fork “it’s gross anyway.” she cut into a pancake “this better be good or I’m breaking up with you.” Kaidan liked to think she was joking, it had taken months for them to stop arguing and finally admit their attraction to each other, he’d hate for it to end over something as silly as pancakes but it was Lily he was dealing with, he certainly wouldn’t put it past her. Lily paused, fork still in her mouth “Kaidan…”

“Yeah?”

“With this pancake making ability of yours, how was it you were ever single?” 

Kaidan laughed “Because you’re the only person I've ever cooked pancakes for.”

Lily leaned against him “Aww Kaidan, you do love me!”

“Was there ever any doubt?”

Lily shrugged, popping a strawberry in her mouth “Not particularly, this just solidified it.” 

“Is that right?”

Lily nodded, mouth full of pancakes and Kaidan couldn’t help but think she looked like a hamster. “I’m a simple woman, Kaidan, I only require a few things to be happy.” she said after swallowing “Breakfast food and hot chocolate.”

“Ahhh so that’s why you were so grumpy on the Normandy.” He teased, it was hard to keep your morale up when all you had to choose from was two different kinds of MRE or a protein bar and since Lily despised eggs it was always a protein bar. 

“Ha ha, but seriously, I appreciate it, things have been…” she hung her head “well you know.” 

Kaidan pulled her to him “I know.” he was an only child and while yeah he has lost friends, came with the job he’d never lost a family member before so as much he wanted to say he understood her pain he couldn’t and he knew her well enough to know a weak sentiment like that would only push her away and make her mad. “You’ll be okay Lil, not saying you’re gonna get over it soon or that you have to at all but you have Ashley, Anderson and-”

“You?” She asked, her chocolate brown eyes looking into his whiskey ones.

“Yeah, I’m not going anywhere.” He brushed back her hair, kissing her, he remembered the day Aiden died, Lily was devastated and with good reason. It’s why he took them to Earth, he hoped spending shore leave away from the Citadel and constant reminders of her brother would take her mind off it, at least for a while.

----------------------

Lily sang along to theme song of the Blasto cartoon they had put on vid screen as she browsed the extranet on her omni-tool, feet propped up on Kaidan’s lap as they lounged together on the couch, “So Kaidan, what do Canadians do for fun around here?”

“Well Vancouver is pretty big, I’m sure we can find something to keep you entertained.” At least he hoped so or she would find ways to be entertained and for someone as technically minded and curious as she was it usually resulted in taking something apart. He remembered one instance on the Citadel where she wandered off to bother the Keepers, getting stuck in one of the tunnels as a result. Thanks to Aiden covering for her she just got a warning from a very tired C-Sec officer who mumbled something along the lines of: ‘I don’t get paid enough to deal with humans.’ and any other time it would’ve bothered them but in that instance it was warranted.  

“Hmm I sure hope-” Lily felt Kaidan’s hand brush against her foot as he lazily rubbed her legs, it was brief and he barely touched him, in fact it was more than likely an accident but it was enough to freak her out. Lily screamed recoiling back against the arm of the couch, holding her legs against her chest.

“Are you okay?” He asked both confused and concerned.

Lily nodded “Yeah just…” she blushed avoiding his gaze “if I tell you, you have to promise me you won’t laugh.”

“Of course, what is it Lily?”

“No, you have to pinky swear.” she said sticking out her small pinky to him and he bit back a laugh, it seemed like she had something serious to say but it was diminished by the childish request.

“Okay, Lily I pinky swear.” He said, linking their pinkies together.

“Good,” she took a deep breath, Lily always did have a flair for the dramatic so he wasn’t sure how concerned he should be but it obviously was serious to her “I may be just a bit ticklish on my feet, which is why I panicked.” 

“Ticklish?” He was both surprised and unsurprised at the same time by this sudden revelation, it was cute if he were to be honest. Someone like her, with her reputation being what it was, to be ticklish just made her even more interesting, she was full of surprises and he loved her for it.

Lily nodded “If you tell a soul I will kill you then bring you back and kill you again.” she glared and he could see the flames burning in her eyes, apparently being in a relationship with her didn’t he mean he was exempt from her death threats. 

“If anyone does find out your dark secret it won’t be from me.” 

“Hmph, I’ll believe you for now.” Lily stretched back out and Kaidan took the opportunity to tickle the soles of her feet and she jolted, rolling on her side and squirming as she laughed. “You’re horrible!” she said, catching her breath.

“Me? I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about Lily.” he said, tickling her again.

“I hate you!” she said between fits of giggles, her stomach starting to hurt from laughing. 

She would more than likely kick his ass for it later but it was the first time he’s heard her laugh in a long time and she had the most beautiful laugh, loud and cheerful, contagious even and if he got hit with her biotics because of it it was well worth it as far as he was concerned. 

[ageless-aislynn]

RULES: 🎶🎶 put your whole music library on shuffle and list the first ten songs! 🎶🎶

Tagged by the lovely @maiaofmischief Thank you! :D ♥

1. “Hunger” - Ross Copperman This song has been on my to-vid list for ages, lol! ;) One day! :D

2. “Cake By The Ocean” - DNCE Hee, such a catchy song! Language warning in case anybody cares (or is, you know, planning on blasting it in public without being forewarned :P ).

3. “You Spin Me Round” - Dead or Alive Throwing us back to the awesome ‘80s! \o/ 

4. “The Blower’s Daughter” - Damien Rice Ooo, another one that takes me back. I love Damien Rice’s music and this was always one of my favs. Good job, whole music library shuffle! *high fives* ;)

5. “I Know” - Fiona Apple Whole music library shuffle, you picked another of my all-time favs, great job! :D Seriously, I’ve loved Fiona from the start. Her music has such atmosphere and her lyrics are so meaning-heavy but lovely at the same time. And needless to say, I love her voice! This song in particular always gets me because of the end. Never has the lack of two final words said so much. 

6. “This Charming Man” - The Smiths The Smiths were definitely a part of my formative teenage music years! ;)

7. “Bass Down Low” - DEV ft. the Cataracs Yes, I’m giving you my own vid (my 100th!) for this one. *blush* Embedding it because it looks like potato quality at full size. Hey, this was from 2014 so I was dancing as fast as I could with some kinda potato quality footage. *cries in Transformers* Ah well. ;) Here’s what was on my mind 6 years ago, anyway! ;)

8. “All The Things She Said” - t. A. T. u. I remember when this one came out (no pun intended ;) ) and everybody thought it and the video were so progressive. Then you find out they’re both underage and there was a lot of super-skeevy things going on behind the scenes. :( But, music-wise, I enjoyed this whole album and I’m pretty sure I have it on cassette in a drawer somewhere, lol! ;)

9. “Surrender” - Evanescence I actually don’t remember hearing this one before, lol! Yet, there it is in my music library. Well, listening to it now... I like it! :D

10. “Super Psycho Love” - Simon Curtis I’m using this Lucas/Skye (Terra Nova) vid by shel217 for a link because I SO associate the song with it. ;) (Trigger warning for violence, just in case. If you’ve seen the show, you know how contentious their canon relationship is since they’re enemies and they do engage in violence against each other from time to time. But if seeing a man knock a woman out etc. is triggering for you, I wanted to give you ample warning before you click.)  

Tagging anybody who’d like to do this! *boops your nose politely* Let me know if you do it! :D ♥♥♥

[stevetwisp]

I love all your vids analysing mlp!! A thing I've been thinking about while watching the earlier seasons is how much the characters and the show formula has evolved. Any thoughts on that?

oh yA YA I GOT LOTS O THOUGHTS ON THAT!!

thesis: both versions of the show have it’s strengths but ultimately season 8 is built for a different audience than season 1 was originally built for

my personal feelings on this vary as my little pony, as a whole, ignoring the context that it exists in, my little pony is an evolving show, where it’s genre evolves with the age and roles of it’s protagonists which is really exciting !!! the only other story that comes to mind when thinking about this is adventure time and then probably harry potter, i’m sure there are more out there.

but my little pony is special because it wasn’t always intended this way. and while part of me is like, it’s very cool i like the idea of a story that can blossom from humble beginnings and into a full fledged story with nuance and meaning

the other part is frustrated with the role that fandom played in the ultimate warping of the show.

now i just want to say, “pandering” or “fanservice” in these cases at least, it’s not necessarily a bad thing and it’s not always a bad thingbut it does feel like… bringing in an outside element when trying to conduct an experiment.the experiment is now contaminated and we’ll never know where the show would have ended up without that outside influence and there’s a bit of a sadness in losing the trail we could have gone down.

ok with that said

there is no stronger season (there are weaker seasons, im looking at u s4), but season 1 isn’t inherently better or vice versa, because they aren’t really comparable.season 8 is no longer the same show subscribing to the same “laws” that season 1 abides byhow can we compare the friendship lessons, when we’re learning different lessons completely? 

it’s why i like to describe the show as a spectrum that goes from dealing with close interpersonal relationships, broadening all the way out to how your actions reflect into the society around you- while also broadening the types of characters you might interact with. (which is why i believe the later seasons especially season 8, are SO interested in mental illness and how it functions against other characters) 

which is really interesting because! … well, you know i’ll use myself as an example and if you relate to this well then you’ll see what i mean

now i got into MLP because it was cute, the songs were nice and the art was incredible. but there was something so calming about having the moral laid out simply for you at the end of the episode. and not only that but these morals also dealt with relatable issues, you know, disagreements with friends, having more good things than can go around, etc. etc. 

and i personally became drawn to this as a sort of guide to life. the MLP universe is soft and inviting and if i can take these lessons to heart, maybe i can make MY world soft and inviting too. 

so now you’ve got a bit of a fandom who are consuming this media in hopes that it will teach you something new about dealing with that unsavoury world outside your door. and while the show flounders a bit with it’s new found audience (IM LOOKING AT U SEASON 4) 

by the time starlight comes in, this new form of the show now has a true audience surrogate and now the show has taken a decisive turn into where it wants to be. show morals become a little more grey, we around recounting old lessons but from different points of view, we’re broadening the scope in which to look at the show. 

we are moving from internal relationships to external relationships as it grows with the needs of the audience. 

i think it’s interesting how we start watching the show thru twilight’s eyes, she’s the main character and we relate to her and as we go thru the seasons we grow up with her, but the show is gentle with us at this stage, we are still so youngso when starlight comes in, we now have to be aware of our faults and the impact we have on others, this character we looked up to, twilight, has now become a literal teacherguiding us through our everyday as we struggle to overcome our past mistakes and move into a new generation

and the best part about this is that they approach it from the point of view of, well, what if you have something that can really hold you backwhether it’s where your from or how your brain is wired, they don’t try and tell you that YOUR the problem, they simply try and install you with the tools to cope and the knowledge to prepare you for the future. 

they are aware that the audience watching right now FEEL like they are the villain. whether it’s because your one of those fans, or whether it’s because you live in a place where you can’t be yourselfthey take that idea and they tell you, it’s okay if you think you are bad. we know that all it takes is a friend to change things for the better. 

this is quite a ramble so i’ll wrap it up here but;the early seasons of my little pony are so SO important, it’s a formula that i think works extremely well, it’s accessible for almost all audiences and i truly want to push the idea of making children’s (and even adult’s) television way more educational than they currently are.

it’s sad that the show doesn’t subscribe to this formula anymore, but in abandoning the formula they allowed for the story to grow and change outside of it’s assigned box and that’s something to really celebrate! art is about it’s evolution through the years and my little pony is a fantastic example of that and it’s impact on people. 

i’m excited to move into this era of long form story driven animation but i’d be lying if i said i didn’t hope that someone out there is still working to forge a new kind of story experience based on the formula of bottled episodes. 

edit: also i will be uploading a new video soon i wanna get one or two done before i move and then after that i wanna do them weekly once we’re settled 

[featheredfurther]

starlight

They sit in silence.

Reyes works. Jean doesn’t stop him-cannot stop him. For so long as Kadara’s heart beats, and life pulses from the port, Reyes is never done. He is the captain of this wayward ship-Kadara, sailing on the endless sea of time.

Jean sits. He does…nothing. His feet are propped up on the coffee table. He thrums a melody on his stomach, using the rhythm of his breathing as a metronome. Idleness usually makes him agitated. He needs to move; pace around the room as he concocts intricate plans and projects.

Reyes usually listens, always does. He’ll even listen to Jean talk nonsense.

Today, Jean has nothing.

And perhaps…he likes it-revels in it, having nothing. His mind rests, and he focuses on the small details. Like the lights in Reyes’ room are tinted pink or that Tartarus is surprisingly empty in the afternoon.

A data pad drops by his feet. Reyes stands in front of him.

“You seem bored,” he says.

“I am,” Jean agrees. “I like it.”

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with Jean Ryder?”

Jean laughs. He stands up, and snakes an arm behind Reyes’ hips. Jean pulls him close. “I’ll give you a hint.”

He leans down and captures Reyes’ lips. They taste sweet from the whiskey he had earlier, and distinctively Reyes which has Jean coming back for more. Reyes scrunches the back of Jean’s hoodie. He hums.

“Hmm…I’m convinced,” Reyes says when they part. Always flushed and breathless, like Jean has sucked the life out of him after every kiss.

Maybe he has, and that’s why he feels so full, so lively when Reyes is around. And he makes Jean do impossible things like revel in nothingness.

“I have an idea,” Reyes opens his Omni-tool. He scrolls through a list of songs, most are unfamiliar to Jean.

Moonlight Serenade is where Reyes stops. He selects it. A slow tune comes from the speakers. A waltz maybe? Or a ballad, Jean has no idea. But one thing he’s certain is what Reyes intends by the way Reyes looks at him.

“I thought I told you I don’t dance,” Jean says.

“You told me a lot of things,” Reyes counters, “some of which turned out to be untrue.”

“Like?”

“I hate you.”

“Fair enough,” Jean says simply, and lists it as one of the impossible things Reyes makes him do.

It’s the best thing Reyes has made Jean done. Love him. The galaxy is brighter with Reyes in Jean’s life. It makes him forget that this galaxy made him an orphan, or this galaxy made him watch his sister die.

Or the Archon, always the Archon.

“I still don’t dance,” Jean says again.

Reyes bows. He offers his hand. “Try me.”

Jean accepts, and Reyes spins him around, catching him by the hip. They sway, or Reyes attempts to make him sway, follow the rhythm of the tune with his feet.  

He fails. Their movements are awkward. Jean is almost a head taller than Reyes, he should be the one leading.

Except Jean has one undeniable fact about him which is obvious now if Reyes ever wants him to try again.

Jean cannot dance.

He knows how electrons travel inside a transistor, can say Asimov’s laws of robotics  like a prayer but dancing is never him.

To salvage what little romance remains in their dance, Reyes wraps himself around Jean. He sways them. They are close, too close. Jean feels the steady beat of Reyes’ heart on his own, as if theirs are connected by a red thread.

It’s making love without the making, but Jean doesn’t need to be gasping at the sheets, begging Reyes for more to make. They simply do.

The song stops. Reyes replaces it with a melody in Spanish. He pretends Jean cannot understand a single word. More romantic that way, he once told Jean. Jean thinks it’s less, more if they can speak love in a language aside from English.

They can communicate love in four different languages, five if they count love as its own universal language. Jean wants them to communicate in six, wants Reyes to know how ibig and mahal are stronger than love or amo.

In another time, Reyes will sing it to him too, under a canopy of constellations. They are the audience to their performance, glittering in the night sky while Jean looks over a window.

It’ll be just like the old vids.

In another time, they may not be together. An ocean divides them both, and so do the ills of their lands.

Reyes stops humming. He brings their lips together, deeper this time-hungrier. He leads Jean to the sofa, not once leaving his lips.

When they tumble on the sofa, Reyes removes his shirt. He pauses and allows Jean to marvel at the curves of his body. It’s not perfect, not the chiseled, muscular torsos Jean sees in those extranet sites.

He’s beautiful, Jean thinks, always. He leaves Jean desperate and wanting; always like their first and not their fifteenth.

Reyes dives back to his lips. He pulls, bites, tugs until Jean is gasping for air. Reyes gives, he always does.

“Don’t you have work to do,” Jean says in-between.

“I do,” he growls. The sound sends a shockwave through Jean’s body.

“Then?”

“Then…” Reyes crawls back and straddles his hips. Desperate fingers work on removing Jean’s pants. With one swift motion, Reyes shucks them off, dropping them on the floor.

Jean shivers. The coolness of the room trails goosebumps on his skin. In contrast, Reyes’ fingers are like hot metal, trailing a fire from his stomach to his arousal. He whimpers, and bucks his hips when Reyes hooks a finger underneath his waistband.

“Consider this distraction,” Reyes says as he drags Jean’s underwear down.

He gives Jean something to think about.

[gxldencity]

starlight

I have like two major wips to finish but you know what let's just work on this.

So a month ago I think, @pathfindersemail said something about Reyes and Ryder dancing to moonlight serenade and here's like my take on it.

Slightly NSFW at the end but nothing graphic. Something like 960 words so hah I didn't break 1K this time. (It counts as short!)

Anyway for those of you who don't know Jean is a non-Pathfinder Ryder who wakes up early and somewhere along falls in love with Reyes (im working on that part okay).

Another important fact cause I allude to them both in this drabble, Jean is Filipino (Tagalog specifically) and is an engineer.

Also im posting this in mobile and I always forget how to do cuts on mobile.

--

They sit in silence.

Reyes works. Jean doesn’t stop him-cannot stop him. For so long as Kadara’s heart beats, and life pulses from the port, Reyes is never done. He is the captain of this wayward ship-Kadara, sailing on the endless sea of time.

Jean sits. He does...nothing. His feet are propped up on the coffee table. He thrums a melody on his stomach, using the rhythm of his breathing as a metronome. Idleness usually makes him agitated. He needs to move; pace around the room as he concocts intricate plans and projects.

Reyes usually listens, always does. He’ll even listen to Jean talk nonsense.

Today, Jean has nothing.

And perhaps...he likes it-revels in it, having nothing. His mind rests, and he focuses on the small details. Like the lights in Reyes’ room are tinted pink or that Tartarus is surprisingly empty in the afternoon.

A data pad drops by his feet. Reyes stands in front of him.

“You seem bored,” he says.

“I am,” Jean agrees. “I like it.”

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with Jean Ryder?”

Jean laughs. He stands up, and snakes an arm behind Reyes’ hips. Jean pulls him close. “I’ll give you a hint.”

He leans down and captures Reyes’ lips. They taste sweet from the whiskey he had earlier, and distinctively Reyes which has Jean coming back for more. Reyes scrunches the back of Jean’s hoodie. He hums.

“Hmm...I’m convinced,” Reyes says when they part. Always flushed and breathless, like Jean has sucked the life out of him after every kiss.

Maybe he has, and that’s why he feels so full, so lively when Reyes is around. And he makes Jean do impossible things like revel in nothingness.

“I have an idea,” Reyes opens his Omni-tool. He scrolls through a list of songs, most are unfamiliar to Jean.

Moonlight Serenade is where Reyes stops. He selects it. A slow tune comes from the speakers. A waltz maybe? Or a ballad, Jean has no idea. But one thing he’s certain is what Reyes intends by the way Reyes looks at him.

“I thought I told you I don’t dance,” Jean says.

“You told me a lot of things,” Reyes counters, “some of which turned out to be untrue.”

“Like?”

“I hate you.”

“Fair enough,” Jean says simply, and lists it as one of the impossible things Reyes makes him do.

It’s the best thing Reyes has made Jean done. Love him. The galaxy is brighter with Reyes in Jean’s life. It makes him forget that this galaxy made him an orphan, or this galaxy made him watch his sister die.

Or the Archon, always the Archon.

“I still don’t dance,” Jean says again.

Reyes bows. He offers his hand. “Try me.”

Jean accepts, and Reyes spins him around, catching him by the hip. They sway, or Reyes attempts to make him sway, follow the rhythm of the tune with his feet.  

He fails. Their movements are awkward. Jean is almost a head taller than Reyes, he should be the one leading.

Except Jean has one undeniable fact about him which is obvious now if Reyes ever wants him to try again.

Jean cannot dance.

He knows how electrons travel inside a transistor, can say Asimov’s laws of robotics  like a prayer but dancing is never him.

To salvage what little romance remains in their dance, Reyes wraps himself around Jean. He sways them. They are close, too close. Jean feels the steady beat of Reyes’ heart on his own, as if theirs are connected by a red thread.

It’s making love without the making, but Jean doesn’t need to be gasping at the sheets, begging Reyes for more to make. They simply do.

The song stops. Reyes replaces it with a melody in Spanish. He pretends Jean cannot understand a single word. More romantic that way, he once told Jean. Jean thinks it’s less, more if they can speak love in a language aside from English.

They can communicate love in four different languages, five if they count love as its own universal language. Jean wants them to communicate in six, wants Reyes to know how ibig and mahal are stronger than love or amo.

In another time, Reyes will sing it to him too, under a canopy of constellations. They are the audience to their performance, glittering in the night sky while Jean looks over a window.

It’ll be just like the old vids.

In another time, they may not be together. An ocean divides them both, and so do the ills of their lands.

Reyes stops humming. He brings their lips together, deeper this time-hungrier. He leads Jean to the sofa, not once leaving his lips.

When they tumble on the sofa, Reyes removes his shirt. He pauses and allows Jean to marvel at the curves of his body. It’s not perfect, not the chiseled, muscular torsos Jean sees in those extranet sites.

He's beautiful, Jean thinks, always. He leaves Jean desperate and wanting; always like their first and not their fifteenth.

Reyes dives back to his lips. He pulls, bites, tugs until Jean is gasping for air. Reyes gives, he always does.

“Don’t you have work to do,” Jean says in-between.

“I do,” he growls. The sound sends a shockwave through Jean’s body.

“Then?”

“Then...” Reyes crawls back and straddles his hips. Desperate fingers work on removing Jean’s pants. With one swift motion, Reyes shucks them off, dropping them on the floor.

Jean shivers. The coolness of the room trails goosebumps on his skin. In contrast, Reyes’ fingers are like hot metal, trailing a fire from his stomach to his arousal. He whimpers, and bucks his hips when Reyes hooks a finger underneath his waistband.

“Consider this distraction,” Reyes says as he drags Jean’s underwear down.

He gives Jean something to think about.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

You Only Line Once #1 | Line Editing

Sooo, here I am, back at it again with yet another series. I had a lot of fun documenting my line editing journey in my line edit with me vid I posted a while back (which you can watch HERE), so I decided to make this a series on here. I actually intended to start this series back in August, and wrote the intro, but never posted it because I couldn't find a pun for the series title, lol. (I do it for the puns. Pretty happy with this strokes shoutout from You Only Live Once aha.) Two days ago, I wrote up a list of puns based off song titles, and @sssoto​ and @sarahkelsiwrites​ helped me narrow it down to You Only Line Once. Hope you enjoy this new endeavor!

I haven't talked about this all that often, but yessss, I have now started line-edits on my second novel, FOSTERED (which I talk about a lot, lol). I wrote this book when I was 13, and after watching @sarahkelsiwrites​ line edit in her Shrink Line Edit series, decided to take this on. I’m documenting my (very slow) progress on MyWriteClub as well. My goal was actually to get these edits done by the third of February, but at the pace I’m going, am totally going to have to scale that due date up.

I’ve actually re-written a scene from FOSTERED twice just for fun, and I always enjoyed the idea of possibly cleaning up the prose so it was an easier read. I haven’t read this book the full way through since I wrote it three entire years ago. Probably because the prose isn’t all that great, and while I’ve been able to move past that in recent months, I lose motivation after a while, and always stop reading at the same place. So that’s a bit of an explanation as to why I’m doing this exactly (still not publishing these books tho lol).

This has actually been my side project for the last couple weeks, but since life has = chaos the past while, I’m only now launching this thing. Regardless, I hope this journey will be fun (but expect lots of angst because that’s basically all I do when I line edit).

Also a quick disclaimer: *I’m line-editing this book, yes, to improve readability, but this isn't a re-write. My edits will continue to preserve the vibe and writing style of the original draft, so keep that in mind! Depending on the passage, rewrites may be involved (*cough* looking *cough* at *cough* Foster’s *cough* dialogue *cough*), but it’s sort of a selective process (not how I line edit for current shtuff, by the way, thought I’d put that out there).

Onto the shtuff:

Today’s goal: So this actually was my goal two days ago since I’m writing this for that session, but the goal was to (unrealistically, as I admitted) finish edits on chapter 6. If you missed my vid on line editing, I do two rounds of edits, the first pass, then the final cleanup. The first pass takes a very long time, so after I’m done that, I move onto the next chapter, edit that the final time, then edit the previous chapter a second time, etc, etc. Yesterday’s session was for chapter six’s first pass.

What I actually line-edited: I completed the first scene of six, as well as half of the last scene, so not too shabby, since I did make the goal at like 1AM.

Total chapter count: 4 edited in full, chapters 5 and 6 awaiting final pass

Total page count: 25

Updated word count: 89 008 in comparison to the original 88 000

The overall scope: Editing went rather well? The beginning was rusty because I had to remould some very stilted dialogue/fix some pacing issues, but I think the chapter has improved quite a bit. I cut a looooot of things in this chapter, as opposed to adding, which was a nice change, lol.

Music or nahhh: I don't believe so!

How much I angsted on a scale from 1-10: Not all that much. I’d say a 5 at most for the worst of it which was the very beginning of the chapter. I call this a win.

Song title that describes line-editing session: (stole this from my outlannis updates but this question is one of my faves to answer ha) You’re Good by The Narwhals. I felt pretty determined and collected, which was a very nice change, haha.

Favourite chapter edited thus far and why: I would still say it’s chapter one. I like the edits I've made on later chapters, but there’s something about the first chapter that I wouldn't mind reading again. I think I fleshed out Reeve’s voice a lot more in chapter one and made her sound a lot less monotonous which is cool, and I think with the edits, it’s a much better opening. Which is great, because chapter one hasn't really been a favourite!

Excerpt:

(as mentioned before, this is totally still not going to be perfect by any means. this one is pretty neutral/is a good example of what a clean up would look like!)

BEFORE (ft. a surplus amount of exclamation marks):

“Harrison come on! That’s not true! C’mon don’t think like that. If you weren’t here we’d all be dead right now! Do you not remember that little three trick you pulled with Red. Now don’t tell me shit that it was your fault in the first place because if you hadn’t told Red about me blah, blah, blah! You saved our lives regardless! Whether it was caused by a negative decision or not! So stop complaining! Just stop! I’m sick of hearing this because I really don’t like it when you talk about yourself like that!” I snap back, folding my arms over my chest. When he grabs me into a hug, I don’t flinch away, I return the favour.

“So, will you stop it then?” I murmur.

“I’ll try. Thanks Reeve.” He mumbles then has disappeared to the other side, leaving me in the darkness. Yes, there is no light, no sun to warm me. But on the inside, I’m as sunny as ever, my glow revoking every negative thought that has brought me down.

AFTER (ft. a considerable decrease in exclamation marks):

“That’s not true.” My voice is more frantic than I expect. Desperate for him to understand that the mistakes we’ve both made in the last couple days have hurt, but don’t define us. “Don’t think like that, alright? If you weren’t here, we’d all be dead right now. Do you not remember that little three trick you pulled with Red? You saved our lives regardless.” I bite my lip. “I know it’ll take some time, but I think we’re working on whatever this is.” 

When he hugs me, I’m surprised, but return the favour anyway. He’s warm, despite the cool air moulded around us, smells like leather and ground coffee.

I’m not sure how long we stand there like that. But it’s enough time to solidify the lump in my throat, push the stupid feeling of missing something higher and higher in my stomach.

Eventually, he lets go, leaves me in the darkness. There is no light, no sun to warm me. But on the inside, I’m bright, my glow bringing me fresh hope for a new beginning.

she like a lowkey glo up I aint mad. droppin that classic harrisonboiii description tho yasss

So that’s it for this update! I hope you enjoyed seeing how exactly I go about cleaning a few paragraphs up! When I note more dramatic changes, I’ll definitely post about them in an update. :) For now, hope to see you in the next one!

--Rachel