#i am WAKING up for 2024 this is not a drill. i will go back to my composition bs. and other memes. because im sillie.

[crescentfool]

hi lizz!

11 and 15 for the ask game please :)

hi luca!!! 👋✨

11. artist(s) that influenced/inspired your art style

i am so glad you asked this question but i am also quaking in my boots because there are so many 💦 here are some that come to mind first, people are welcome to ask this question again if they want me to namedrop more people... (I LOVE ARTISTS!!!)

chuwenjie

coricaroo / takawbird

lunarelles

bigskycastle

tokkibada / badawaves (splatoon!!!)

baoxie_ / jiiandui

kinigoni

all of the handles above r for twitter, but some of them are on tumblr as well ^.^

honestly any artist who do lineless or stylized bg work is pretty eyeballs to me... as for media inspirations, splatoon (ty seita inoue) and ghost trick :3

and my friends too! they influence me to keep going and they are so swag for that. beams hearts at them (you included ofc 💙)

15. any upcoming planned drawings

my plan for 2024 is to finish some old wips that never made it past the sketch stage! there are... so many p3 ones (you bet its all ryoji and minato!!! some aigis and femc too...) 🤧

i think it's a given that i'll be drawing something for march 5th (a concept has been laying around since late march 2023)... but i'd also like to make something for january 31st and december 31st. perhaps an animatic... but i will need to PRACTICE!!!

other than the important dates of persona 3, i'm very looking forward to regularly shedding my art style. i want to draw minato and ryoji in the styles of diffrent media (or artists) because i'm a little silly and enjoy taking that kind of approach. i will also do this with my ocs i think.

oh and i hope to draw some other characters from different things too :D im filled with so much silly and love for many things and art is my vessel to express that.

TL;DR: 2024 will be the year of experimentation and going ambitious! i want to draw compositions. i need ryoji and minato to be drawn like they're going to be a mural in a church or i'm going to dissolve into teeny little pieces.

[crash-bump-bring-the-whump]

Whumpril 2024 - Day 1 - Limp

Hehehe I've threatened this idea before c:<

TWs: Drugging, collapse, poisoning

"I thought I said I didn't need a smoothie?" Mariano grinned despite his questioning protest as Dimitri slid into his passenger seat. He held two cups, one a brilliant pink and the other a rich purple, and didn't hesitate to shove the purple one towards Mariano.

"Don't think about it, stupid, it was free. They fucked up the previous person's order and the guy threw a fit and left." Dimitri said, rolling his eyes and taking a sip of his own. "The barista stormed out and everything too, the person who made mine had to stop their shit to take over. So they offered it to me."

"Oh?" Mariano took a sip from his before setting it in his cup holder so that he could drive. "Guess we were lucky, you got a show and I got a surprise blueberry smoothie."

"And Rat got a free pup cup, too, so both of my favorite dogs got something." Dimitri laughed as Mariano swatted at his shoulder, settling his little hairless dog's carrier onto the floor board. "C'mon, stop pouting and drive, Laredo's wanting me to join him on his stream in half an hour."

Mariano laughed, putting his car into gear. "Alright, alright. Roll down your window, too. I haven't gotten around to recharging my AC yet and she doesn't need to cook."

The drive was quick, just a ten minute jaunt back to the house that the other war mages shared on the edge of town. Dimitri waved to Mariano as he sat down on the couch with his laptop and smoothie, smiling as Mariano settled in to start going through manager applications for the coffee shop. It was about time--the circles under his eyes were getting to be too permanent for Dimitri’s liking. "Text if you need anything, I'll have my notifications on."

Mariano waved in return, giving him a quick smile as he took another long drink. Dimitri slipped into Laredo’s room, donning the pair of headphones with a unicorn horn and horse ears–Laredo was fiercely insistent that he always got the cat ear headphones. It was “part of his brand.”

Dimitri just thought he looked cute in them.

They were half an hour into “two people control one character in Bornsouls 2” when Dimitri’s phone lit up with a message from Mariano.

soemthing is worng dimirti

Dimitri froze up, frowning as he looked down. “I…am going to check on our boyfriend.” Dimitri stood, snatching his phone up and setting the headphones down on their stand. He had just gotten his fingers around the doorknob when it sounded like someone dropped one of Laredo’s weights in the hallway. 

When he ripped open the door, ice filled his veins. Mariano was sprawled on the floor of the hallway, facedown on the carpet and looking like he hadn’t even tried to catch himself. In an instant, Dimitri was on the stairway of the infiltration drill building, with the dawning realization that he’d poisoned the new kid far, far past what he’d intended.

There was no Manuel this time, though, no Izan. They were both at work. There was no medical backup to call for. No one would be there in forty-five seconds. “Laredo!” He shouted, urgency pulling his voice tight as he sprinted to Mariano’s side and pulled him into his arms. 

Mariano was completely limp as Dimitri manhandled him and pressed his ear to Mariano’s chest. He could feel him breathing, shallow and too-quick. He could hear his heartbeat, just as fast. His expression was entirely neutral, with an awful paleness starting to creep into his lips and cheeks. “Call emergency services! He’s breathing but he’s not waking up.” 

“I am!” Laredo shouted back, appearing in the doorway with his phone pressed to his ear. “Yes–yes, that’s our address. My boyfriend just collapsed–yes. He is, and we know first aid. Okay, you–ten minutes?”

Dimitri growled as he shifted Mariano in his arms again, moving Mariano’s head to rest on his shoulder. He could smell the blueberries on his breath. Was this what Manuel experienced back then? It made his stomach churn. “Ten fucking minutes? They’d better be speeding or–”

“They’re going as fast as they can, Dimitri–yeah, no, no, it wasn’t a fight, we were playing a video game and heard him hit the floor. Dimitri’s just worried–the…the victim’s name is Mariano. Yeah, I’m Laredo. Dimitri’s the one keeping an eye on him. No, he didn’t choke, we don’t know what happened, he was okay earlier.”

Dimitri remembered something, then. The barista, the one who made the drink, the one who’d stormed off; he hadn’t ever seen them before. He always went to this smoothie place. The employees all knew him. They all liked him. 

That new barista had added a packet of something into the smoothie. He hadn’t heard the man’s order. He’d just assumed it was some artificial sweetener, or other flavoring.

“The smoothie was poisoned.” Dimitri blurted out. 

Laredo froze, cutting himself off. “The what?”

Dimitri repeated himself, more urgently. “Someone didn’t want their smoothie so we got it for free–Laredo, this sounds insane, but I think the smoothie was poisoned. It was a powder. The cup–it should still be on the side table!” 

“Oh–yes, yeah, we think our boyfriend’s drink might’ve been tampered with. No, no allergies, no fainting conditions. Yes, we still have the cup, it hasn’t been washed out.”  

A low groan from Mariano made everything else fall away. Dark eyes fluttered, pact rings just barely peeking out beneath his lashes. “‘Mitri…?” He managed, barely past a whisper. “It's hard to breathe…” 

“Don’t talk right now.” Dimitri said, cradling Mariano’s face with one hand and shifting him in his arms again. “You’ve been poisoned, help is coming.” 

“Y’sir.”

Dimitri felt heat roaring behind his eyes. “Eyes on me.” He could see Mariano struggling to listen, how his lashes fluttered with the effort. Dimitri’s mouth opened again before he could stop it. “I swear Mariano, I didn’t–”

Mariano smiled, his usual faint flicker of an expression. “I know.” He whispered back, turning his face to nuzzle into Dimitri’s palm. “Y’wouldn’t.”

Dimitri sobbed, clutching Mariano close as tears started to fall. They rolled down his face and into Mariano’s hair. Laredo’s voice disappeared as Mariano reached up to hold Dimitri’s hand in return. Only the approaching sirens broke through the rushing chaos in Dimitri’s head. 

All that mattered was that help was on the way, Mariano was awake, holding onto him, and that he still trusted him.

@honeybees-125 @inscrutable-shadow @whumperofworlds @bxtterflystxtches

[taintmansion]

Alright so here goes a big personal mental health post…

As I’ve posted about since august, I developed a terrible anxiety induced insomnia which through finding a very helpful community online now identify as “sleep anxiety” which sort of accidentally happens to people when sometimes even one sleepless night sends them into a fight or flight mode. My brain now gets confused and thinks I should not sleep. I am often on 2-4 hours at most, often broken up and requires me to work hard to make myself relax and just wake up feeling unrested.

I’ve had ups and downs, one medication that seemed to work a while but made me feel like shit (while still working a stressful job that set this whole thing off) and then took myself off it and figured I probably need to be on an actual anxiety medication and have 2 family members on lexapro so hey, let’s ask for that. Was given that by a rando telehealth doctor because with shit insurance didn’t know where to go. Got through 2 days on it with what felt like heightened insomnia and anxiety zero appetite etc.

I stayed at my mom’s for half a week after my job took me off the schedule shortly after I gave my 2 weeks notice but told them I’ve been sick and may not make all the last shifts. That was the 2nd day of lexapro and felt I would lose my mind if I kept taking it at that point especially without a psych to follow up with. So, at my mom’s and trying a stress relief supplement, I started sleeping better and better. Went back home, had one bad night but then oddly on an air mattress slept good again.

Just as things were going so well for me, I went to a shitty dentist office i already didn’t like but wanted a tooth filled, and this dentist dropped a drill in my mouth cutting a hole under my tongue. Didn’t even know things like that happened to people! My anxiety was skyrocketed and every day since then sleep has been a struggle again. Actually I only slept decent the 2 times I’ve taken a Xanax which I got prescribed to help me get through the first few weeks lexapro because a trusted dr (gynecologist tbh) at least told me to keep trying. I signed up for better health insurance but it won’t kick in until November 1st. I’ll find an actual psychiatrist.

Anyway. After getting through a wedding out of town that was a big stressor for me, it went pretty well all things considered, I’m starting lexapro once again tomorrow morning and committing to getting through at least 2 weeks and see how it goes. Even though a top side effect is. Insomnia. 😑 This time I have the xanax to take as needed.

Just felt like typing this all out I guess because this has been the biggest mental health challenge of my life. Somehow worse than when I had panic attacks for months when I was 19. This has had me feeling beyond broken, confused, not myself, like I’ll never be ok again… totally scared and lost. So going forward all I have is meds hopefully helping me and the help of this yt channel and the guy’s book that arrives in a few days. This could be a continued struggle or it may get better soon. I’m scared and don’t know when I can work again. I only have so much funds and help but also very very blessed with my family which helps a lot. I hope I get past this and have a good 2024.

[keefwho]

August 29 - 2024 Thursday

10:16pm

5/10

Today was more mellow than yesterday. I started getting bored.

I did my workout and cleaned my cleaning clothes. I took my shower and made some awesome spicy ramen, spam, and green beans with my last pack of ramen. I got into VR earlier than I did yesterday. First I finished touring my own worlds since I was almost done yesterday. Then my focus was to just try and have fun doing solo stuff in different worlds. I did minigolf again and found out I am RUSTY. But I still got pro. I went to a couple places I can't remember. For a big chunk of the day I was doing the horseback riding world. I found a fun little spot to chill with a video player and made the world nighttime with nothing but the campfire lighting the area around me while I watched some stuff and jammed out to my playlists. I took a hit of my pen for this and it was pretty chill. I almost napped. I got up for lunch and had a can of beefaroni, the other half of a muffin, and some chips. I watched a few episode of Summer Camp Island I enjoyed. I could barely do the 1 hour of drawing I had to do on this commission, I was dozing off and sooooo bored. I found out I should not have tuned into any Twitch streams these past couple days, or youtube videos either. It kinda beat the point of the alone time since I usually use these things to feel less lonely on the side. It's enforced to me that going forward I should think about how often I have content on my other monitor. I did the work I had to do and got back into VR. I finished up horses and went to a Mars exploration world. Then to spice things up, I went to a public party world but with everyone hidden and muted and was enjoying them putting on different random things in the video player. Some of them clearly took interest in me but I could not see or hear them. I got to listen to some VERY edgy and cringy eboy music and put on my own stuff for awhile. Someone came up and text chatted me for the name of the playlist. I got off to eat dinner and chill for the night.

Today got a little stressful and I was thinking about ending this thing early. I also just got pretty bored but I did want to see it through to the end. I feel weird because I guess I expected more out of this? I feel like I'm coming back with nothing to show after promising greatness, even though I didn't. I did learn a few things that I desperately don't want to lose touch with but I'm sure I will, nothing can get drilled into my head in just a couple days. I did take a lot of good photos which was fun. I hope everything is okay when I wake up tomorrow, I'm almost afraid to open Discord. I'm sure nothing could have happened in just 2 days though, surely. Then it's business as usual. It almost feels scary going back to my schedule, like I don't wanna have to or that I don't have the proper drive to do it well.

I supposed I'm glad I did this little experiment though. I voluntarily took 2 days away from everything in a way that suited me. I stuck through the whole thing. I did learn a little bit. Had some interesting thoughts and realizations I hope stick around.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (872): Wed 7th Aug 2024

Edinburgh Fringe day2 and after checking out of the hostel (which I've noticed I always sleep very soundly in. You know how some people can't piss if there's someone standing next to them? Maybe I can't sleep unless there's someone asleep in a bed directly above me) I headed off for my first show of the day: Glitch. This was a monologue style play about a woman returning home for her ten year high school reunion and confronting her turbulent relationship with her mother. The actress was really good but unfortunately I could feel my eyelids getting heavy and I had to start pinching myself to make sure I wouldn't fall asleep. It wasn't because the story was boring or the acting wasn't good and as I've just discussed I slept like a baby last night, but for some reason I felt like I was about to nod off. Also to make matters worse there were arseholes drilling outside which made it hard to hear what the actress was saying as this venue had very thin walls as it's essentially a converted shipping container. Word of advice to future performers: set your play on a fucking building site because the noise from outside will create a perfect ambience and you won't need to hire a sound effects person. I still enjoyed it as the actress was very good I just hope she didn't notice that I was desperately trying to force myself not to nod off. I suspected that it may have been because I hadn't had a coffee this morning so before the next show I ducked into a cafe and got myself a nice strong mocha to wake myself the fuck up. My final show of this year's Fringe was just around the corner at Zoo Southside. This show was titled "The Signalman" and was about a train station signalman recounting the story of a recent derailing that resulted in many deaths right near his station. He confides in the audience that since then he's been haunted by visions of a shadowy figure standing at the other side of the tunnel waving at him and crying out "watch out". This was really well performed and the use of shadow, light and spooky sound effects gave off the impression that someone or something was constantly watching. The one thing that marred the show was that right near the end four old dickheads left just as the show was clearly coming to an end. They all were about seventy five and I suspect they only came into this show to hide from the Grim Reaper and left when the play started getting scary as they didn't want to drop dead from fright. I think the twist at the end of the play was that it was the signalman from the future at the other end of the tunnel warning himself about the upcoming collision or something I dunno. That's the only shitty thing about these shows at the festival it's not like you can go onto Wikipedia for a plot summary and you can't go up to the actor afterwards and ask what the play meant or you'll just look like an absolute moron. Well whatever it was about I enjoyed it and at least I didn't fall asleep or walkout with two minutes to go like a cunt would. I still had an hour or so before my train home so I went to a restaurant up the road from the train station and got myself a nice vegan burger and a beautiful non-alcoholic cocktail as I reflected on all the highlights from this Fringe. As much as I have enjoyed these festivals over the years I don't know if I want to come back again. The shows themselves are good but finding ways to kill time in between the shows is hard and also the amount of constant noise in the city and the rushing around to get to shows is becoming unbearable. I remember having the same feeling about London when I went there earlier this year to see AC/DC. It's a beautiful city but I think I've seen enough of it now and I need to start exploring some other places. At the very least I think I'm just going to reduce this visit to a one day thing. I'll get the train down at six in the AM and just spend nine hours going to show after show then getting the train back that night.

[supermanliveson]

Finally, the wait is almost over.

SPOILERS for The Flash 3x19 and the promo for 3x20. You know the drill.

Well, that’s one way to tease us about the big reveal only to make up for not dropping it tonight. “Savitar” emerges from the suit of armor and thus reveals himself to Killer Frost in the stinger, meaning this episode technically fits the pattern I mentioned before, but next week, we will learn his identity for real -- Barry figures it out. Maybe that time in the future without Iris to cloud his judgment jump-started his scientific mind. If so, it’s a good look on him. He’s acting more like himself than he has since, oh, 3x09? How gratifying to see him call out his future self for being such a selfish dick as to push everyone away and wallow in grief over Iris instead of shaping up and being the hero.

But Future Barry did shape up at the end, even wore the classic Flash suit FINALLY (minus the fully golden boots, which baffles me -- Accelerated Man had them, so what gives?), then gave our Barry the edge he needs to stop “Savitar” here and now. This Tracy Brand has to be awfully important, no? Let’s hope she can crack the code her future self did. I know I’ve gone back and forth on whether Iris should die or live, but after tonight, I really do think the latter is better for Barry’s chances of letting her go, of finally moving on from his childish obsession.

Meanwhile, the question remains: Who is the so-called God of Speed that offering to help Killer Frost stay in control, followed by revealing his face, would make her readily agree? At this point, I can only think of two choices. Eddie Thawne seems to be out, sadly for those who want the Cobalt Blue storyline to play out in some form -- he wasn’t around long enough for all of this to merely be history to him. Ronnie Raymond would certainly garner her trust, but while I’m counting him as one of the two possibilities, there’s still the problem of him having been dead. The bigger problem, though, is this:

Why would Wally be catatonic after his disastrous fight with “Savitar”?

Seriously, the breaking of his spine was heavily implied to not be enough -- it was something he saw. My guess is that learning the armored speedster’s true identity in the wake of his sister’s death destroyed him -- he couldn’t believe that the man behind the mask would sink so low. Ergo, it must be someone he knows, someone he thought would do anything to save Iris -- and while Joe, their own father, would pack the emotional punch, so would Future Barry, his brother and mentor. Maybe not from 2024, maybe from even further in the future, maybe from a timeline where our Barry never went to 2024 and wound up restoring his future self’s will to live and fight, but still Barry Allen gone evil. It’s the explanation that best fits all the clues right now. Killer Frost may see our Barry as the enemy, but a Barry who says he wants her to stay the way she is right now, to keep Caitlin from ever returning? That could do it.

Of course, next week will tell if I’m dead wrong. If I am, so be it, and I’ll try to accept whatever reveal they make. But I’m hopeful that I’ll be right this time.