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it’s just frustrating bc i had to wait until my diploma got here and now i’m waiting for a response from a professor still and it’s just like. i could’ve been done with this already but noooooooo.
#reed.txt#had to scan the diploma for proof of qualifications which is. so weird to me lmao.#i was fully prepared to have to pay to send transcripts#and they were like 'nah as long as you upload the qualifications we can check it that way' like WHAT? IT'S THAT EASY?!#i am also like. shaking anxious chihuahua about the whole fucking things because like. i want this so bad it hurts.#*thing not things ffs#i'm just a walking ball of anxiety and stress for the foreseeable future i guess whatever it's fine#anxious about getting this done and submitted. anxious about having to wait to see if i get in. anxious about a million things.#stressed abt the personal statement too tbh gotta. rewrite that i think.#welcome to today's episode of reed has a fucking breakdown about grad school application#*their. i missed a word. i'm going to climb the walls.#the deadline i thought was for on campus september start dates. the online october start doesn't even have a deadline LISTED.#i'm operating under the assumption that it's early september so like i have time but i'm just. i want this to be out of my hands.#i love. having. adhd and anxiety. it's great. not debilitating at all in the slightest.#negative cw#i guess i dunno i'm just screaming into a pillow at this point
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Finished s1 ep5 again.
Some random thoughts as the episode progressed:
That’s a lotta walkers...
Is it weird that my first thought was, “Boy, James could stuff a whole bunch of barns with that many walkers!”
Oh, piss off, Stranger.
Kenny over here tryin’ to make me feel better...
Aaaaaaaaand Lee’s down. Great.
Fuck it. I’m cuttin’ it off. I never cut it off because I know it won’t work and I don’t exactly love seeing Lee get his arm sawed off buuuuuuut... I’ve been making a few different choices this time around so...
*This is going to hurt
Yeah, no shit game thanks
No no no no nononononnononononoooooaaaaack
yeah, that wasn’t fun.
I don’t know what’s worse: Ben saying he peed himself as we’re climbing the damn ladder or that fact that I no longer have two hands.
Lee’s already starting to look paler. It’s amazing that I’ve played this game several times, but I still get anxious seeing Lee get paler and weaker. I’ve grown so attached to him throughout all my playthroughs and it actually hurts worse every single time I have to watch him slowly die throughout this episode.
I made a post about this before, but the idea of Ben surviving and being the one to take care of Clementine rather than Christa and Omid is such a fascinating idea given how much of a screw up he’s been. He could’ve seen this as a way to atone for inadvertently getting Duck killed, y’know?
I know I’ve yelled at him a lot because he does a lot of things that make me mad, but I do feel real sympathy for his character. The poor kid is constantly shit on and he’s just so lanky and sad looking with that teenage mustache... how do you not feel bad?
I really like Omid’s voice acting. Something about his voice is very... soothing.
Kenny is so supportive I’m still dumbfounded at that
The boat is gone and now Kenny and his fisherman shirt are throwing a tantrum.
Ben’s freak out is one of my favorite scenes this episode. It’s very humanizing and it’s nice to see someone, especially someone like Ben, put Kenny in his place. This is also a great place where Ben’s voice acting is really good. His voice cracks and the emotion feels real.
Oh hai Brie
“You ruined that dude’s face.”
“Shut up, sweetie.”
Christa and Omid are the otp of this season I stg
CHRISTA DON’T DRINK THAT-
“You still with us, Ben?”
“Yeah, Lee. I just want to help.”
😟😟😟
The fact that Ben doesn’t even realize that he’s been impaled...
Ben’s dead, Kenny’s “dead”, and I’m doing my longest, deepest of sighs.
Seriously, though, I don’t know if it exists, but if someone did an AU of Ben being the one to take care of Clementine and him surviving to the final season I would cry. Imagine him running into Kenny again, and then Lilly in s4. Think of the character growth he could’ve gotten helping take care of Clem, and then AJ. And then him ending up being the oldest person, literally the “adult”, at Ericson?
Lee is such a badass. The dude has only one arm and he is taking out these walkers left and right and fighting his way through this goddamn herd and this music is so damn epic AH
Another one of my favorite scenes, hands down.
Oh hai Stranger
Yeah yeah, guilt me about what a bad dude I am and how I personally ruined your life blah blah blah
This guy has to be the most boring final antagonist ever. Like, I can’t help but laugh at him, really. His story is sad, yeah, and I feel for him, but it’s still not my favorite.
I stick by what I said, this would’ve been so epic and very full circle if Jolene had been the one to kidnap Clementine. Hell, you just tone down some of the “crazy” and throw in a few more hints about her and boom!
But, nah, we got this skinny, dead-looking Mr. Rodgers knock off.
It’s fine.
“You abandoned a defenseless, grieving woman!”
Oh don’t you even go down that road with me, mister-
“I’m gonna hurt you so bad.”
Oh no. I’m shaking in my boots. My stump is quaking. Please. Don’t do it.
Aaaaaaaand you’re dead. Good job.
Cue the obligatory cover-ourselves-in-walker-guts scene.
Oh, Clem, sweetie, don’t worry. You’ll be doing this plenty of times in the next eight years.
Oh... this truly is the worst day of Clementine’s life.
Lee’s too fucking weak to even stand. I could sit here mashing A all day and he just... can’t.
How does this manage to make me cry every time I play it...?
“Keep that hair short.”
😭😭😭*distressed chihuahua squeaks of sorrow*😭😭😭
“I’ll miss you.”
“Me, too...”
😭😭😭*GROSS INTENSE CROAKING OF DESPAIR*😭😭😭
Such a damn good episode. Such a damn good game.
If I had to criticize some things, I’d say that the gun controls are shit, but I believe that they improve over the other games. There's also the good ol’ complaint about choices not really mattering, but that’s just old news at this point.
Seeing Clementine’s beginnings again after knowing how her story ends is really a strange, but good[?] feeling. Can’t wait to make more questionable with her in s2, my favorite season oh boy
Looking at the end cards now, I’m fucking wheezing at my Lilly one.
You called her a bitch when you first met.
You called her crazy when supplies went missing.
You left her on the side of the road.
I should probably feel bad because you could argue that my harshness sent her down the path to the delta, but... it didn’t. It really didn’t, guys. I could’ve kissed her ass every chance I got. She’ll still be kidnapping kids and murdering my son Mitch later down the road. AND she killed my girlfriend, so... there.
But Kenny fucking loved me this time around which was... strange, to say the least. Like I’ve said, he always is Mr. Grumpy Pants with me because I tried to save Larry but damn... “Pal,” just wow.
Playing as Lee again is always a treat. He’s one of my favorite playable protagonists in any game. He’s funny, he’s strong, he loves Clementine to death.
He didn’t have to take care of her. He could’ve just left her there, or left her with someone else. But, he didn’t.
And I love him.
Goodbye, Lee.
You beautiful man.
#twdg#twdg clementine#twdg lee#twdg lilly#twdg kenny#twdg ben#twdg omid#twdg christa#twdg james#twdg mitch#twdg carley
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Optioned
Um, random Peter/ Bucky AU in which they both work a shitty job at a movie theater. I don’t know what this is but its definitely crack lmao. I just wanted to write the pairing tbh.
Ok so Peter had aspirations- once upon a time that was a thing but now all his dreams are dead and he stuffs bags full of pop corn for a living. Its not exactly that he hates his job at the local movie theater, its just that he’d rather kill himself than speak to an actual live human being at a till. People are assholes for one, and also he’s discovered that the ‘ice vs no ice’ controversy is real and people are passionate about it. His preference? He doesn’t have one because he can’t be assed to care about trivial shit like that.
The only good thing to come out of his shitty job making surprisingly good popcorn is that he met Bucky. Sure he’s like ninety percent sure Bucky never actually does any work mostly because he’s way too fucking anxious to handle being on till but he’s funny and that’s all Peter cares about. Plus he’s awesome enough that no one else seems to notice that he doesn’t do much. Either that or everyone likes him too much to care.
“I hate closing shifts,” Kamala mumbles and Peter snorts.
“That makes two of us but fuck getting up in the morning,” he says, shaking his head. Morning shifts are slow as shit too so not only would he be up early but he’d have nothing to do. Fuck morning shifts. Actually no, fuck working in general, he misses stealing shit to get by but Bucky thinks its immoral to steal or whatever. Personally Peter likes to think of himself as Robin Hood except he’s only taking money for himself- if the public wants more of it they can steal their own shit.
“I already have school so you know, I’m used to it,” Kamala says.
Peter wrinkles his nose, “I’d say drop out but then I’d be a bad influence.”
Kamala laughs, “I’m pretty sure my parents would skin you if you told me to drop out and I listened.”
“Has anyone done the butter yet?” Bucky asks and Peter turns.
“No, not that I- why are you in the vat of pop corn?” he asks, frowning at Bucky sitting in the pop corn machine. Its not even empty either, he’s sitting in a giant ass vat of popcorn with food surrounding him.
“Monkey brain,” he says like that’s some kind of explanation.
Peter sighs. “When I was nine my mother died, I got kidnapped shortly thereafter, became a fucking conspiracy theory-” which he hadn’t even known about until he met Bucky. The guy reads way too many conspiracies. “-Ended up leading a life of crime so I could accumulate enough money to go to film school and also assimilate into the group of criminals I was kidnapped by. Went to film school with big dreams of being a director and writer that got sucked out by this shit place, and all for it to end with my boyfriend in a vat of popcorn explained away by ‘monkey brain’. I can’t even write that shit.” But then most of Bucky’s life is such a level of bizarre that he couldn’t write it. If he did he’d deem it unrealistic because Bucky attracts weird like nobody’s business. “Kamala, can you do the butter?” he asks her.
She sighs grumpily but agrees until Bucky interrupts, “I asked because I was gunna do it,” he says.
“You can clean out the popcorn vat,” Peter tells him and Bucky sulks, eating some of the popcorn that surrounds him. Kalama laughs as she pulls the butter from its warmer. Knowing how long those things sit there makes Peter feel almost bad for feeding it to people. But then he remembers half the customers shriek at him if he puts ice in their drinks and feels less bad.
“Can I go home? I hate it here,” Bucky says and Peter snorts.
“If I have to suffer so do you. Kamala, you go home, you have school tomorrow,” he says.
Kamala frowns, “I mean I’m leaving but we don’t have school on Saturdays, Peter.”
Bucky lets out a long whine, “how come she gets to go home? I’m the one dating you, give me special treatment.”
“Yeah, I also happen to know you pay half the rent and need the hours, Kamala’s only here to save money for college so she’s not missing out on much,” he says. “Now clean the vat.” Bucky sighs and mumbles something about Peter sucking the fun out of everything but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t like rent either but Bucky’s the one who insists they work shitty jobs for a living instead of just selling meth or robbing homes in rich areas.
“You’re the best,” Kamala tells him before she takes off. Man Peter wishes he could follow and leave this stupid job behind. Why couldn’t he have dated someone with no moral compass so he could avoid this hellhole?
“Do I still have to clean the vat?” Bucky asks and Peter nods.
“I’m not cleaning that shit,” he says.
“I thought you wanted weird experiences for your writing or whatever,” Bucky says and Peter frowns.
“I hope you know finding my boyfriend in a vat of popcorn is far weirder than cleaning it out,” he says. “Also I don’t feel like cleaning it out when I have to count literally everything in this damn place. Save me some of that popcorn,” he adds, earning a look from Clint like he has the right to issue out looks given his eating habits. Peter watched him eat an Oreo off the lobby floor once.
“His ass as been in there,” he says.
“Clint, I’ve ate is ass, why do you think that matters to me?” he asks, earning a gag from America across the room. “Oh hush, I’m sure you and Kate get up to worse,” he says to her. She gives him a doubtful look but he damn well knows Kate is probably into weird shit, she hangs out with Clint.
“Please don’t tell our coworkers about our sex life, I have to look them in the eye,” Bucky says, climbing out of the popcorn.
“Does he actually do anything around here or does he mostly just talk to you?” Clint asks.
Peter shrugs, “probably the latter but I mean are you complaining? Could you imagine this guy at a till? Dude is a human chihuahua.” He shakes at everything and sometimes has a lot of anger in unexpected places though Peter has to admit if he were Jewish and spotted a Nazi near him he’d punch the Nazi too. Except Bucky acted totally on instinct and went Full Human Chihuahua right after so it was a weird situation to be in and if Peter ever writes a comedy that is so going in it.
Clint snorts, “one time when he was on floor I watched this guy try to walk up to him and he basically ran away and left Loki to deal with it. I’m sure it went horribly wrong.”
“Actually I think Loki solved his problem and that reaffirms that I’m not fit to deal with people,” Bucky says, dumping popcorn into the trash.
“How do you date him?” Clint asks and Peter shrugs.
“Dude is so weird he inspires a crap ton of stories that no one will ever option,” he says and Bucky snorts.
“I’m sure it’ll happen eventually,” he says and yeah, maybe, but Peter is bored of writing for no audience. And also of serving ungrateful dipshits who scream about ice. Once he found a cockroach in the ice and he hopes some jackass customer has eaten one.
“Well when you hit it big remember that time I took your shift,” Clint tells him.
Peter squints, “you’ve never taken anyone’s shift ever. I know this because I help make the schedule.” Its a horrible job and he hates it.
“What I’m saying is that I want your money,” Clint tells him bluntly.
“Uh, I get his money first, you get it later,” Bucky says. “Also you want to scoop the rest of this popcorn?”
*
Peter considers the last year and a half of his life. “Do you ever think about the fact that Tony Stark basically paid you five million dollars to make him a drink?” Bucky asks.
“All the time because literally what the fuck.” He’d been closing, as usual, and then out of nowhere actual Tony fucking Stark walks up and practically begs for a drink. Peter had made a joke that he’d make it if Tony gave him the money to make a movie and the guy must have been some desperate for coke because he agreed. Peter is ninety percent sure the only reason people even went to see it is because Tony was the one who funded it but what the fuck ever man, he’s got a whole new project in the works and his last movie went over surprisingly well.
“I can’t believe real people are funding your space opera about your daddy issues,” Bucky says, shaking his head.
Peter snorts, “you get all the benefits so shush.”
Bucky grins, “well yeah, but a space opera about your daddy issues? That’s also a musical? That’s got to be a niche market.”
Not if Tony Stark is funding it but Peter has long known the guy was genius at marketing. Dude makes a shit ton of money, as evidenced by his paying a stupid amount of dollars over a joke Peter made. But like hell he was backing down from that. “It’ll sell. I mean people loved my weird sci-fi comedy that had a really odd sense of Millennial humor with an absurd amount of conspiracy theories in it,” he points out.
“Yeah, you’re officially in the Illuminati now. Tony invited you and now you’re trying to control the masses,” Bucky says, dead ass serious because he’s probably read whole Reddit threads on it or something.
He considers that for a moment before looking back to Bucky. “First, please stop reading weird conspiracies about me. Two, do you have any idea how tempted I am to steal all of Tony’s shit always? You should be lucky I love you because he has some nice stuff and I could probably sell it for a lot of money.” He stared at that stupid expensive Rolex for so long Tony probably got suspicious at some point but Peter let him fuck around on set so he didn’t seem to care too much. Turns out Pepper Potts is terrifying though and for a hot second she took everything over to shoo Tony out.
“Actually I don’t really care if you steal from the rich but maybe not the rich guy who’s funding your shit. Steal from all his friends,” Bucky says and Peter blinks.
“Wait, what? I thought you had a thing against stealing!”
Buck shrugs, “I don’t count it if its from rich people who can replace it right away. Its like Robin Hood but selfish,” he says.
Peter stares at him for a long few moments before letting out a long string of swear words. “I’ve been avoiding stealing shit for three damn years and you didn’t even care the whole time? I’m robbing Betsy DeVos so blind she’s going to have to get laser eye surgery to correct it!” he says. He’s got plans.
Bucky throws his head back and laughs, “save that line, its funny.”
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Observations after seeing Rogue One a second time
Movie in General
· HO-LY CRAP the score is absolutely amazing. I felt every single orchestral swell like it was coming from inside me. I want that to be the soundtrack of my life.
· This movie is FUCKING GORGEOUS. They chose planets so different from one another and made each one feel real and alive.
· There were soooooo many things going on in this film. Each character brought their own complicated baggage to the table on top of a fricking war going on. I am so impressed that they pulled it off as well as they did.
· You can tell that the people working on this film understand the awesomeness that is Star Wars. They understand what is expected of them, even as a “spin off” movie, and they bring their A-game.
· Diversity. Diversity. D.I.V.E.R.S.I.T.Y. It extends beyond the main six. The senators, the pilots, the soldiers all displayed a variety of ethnicities and it was BEAUTIFUL.
· I still hate the ending but DAMN IT’S SO WELL DONE I AM CRYING AND TREMBLING WITH RAGE AS I GIVE A STANDING OVATION. I’ll be okay. That’s what fanfiction is for.
Star Wars in General
· Fuck man it’s fucking awesome.
Characters
· Jyn looks like she can kill you (and you know she can) but I’ll sell my left leg if she’s not a warm, sugary cinnamon roll on the inside. You see it come out any time her father is mentioned or when she faces Saw. She’s still that scared, mistrusting child the universe made her into. But then, THEN she hears about her father’s plans and HER WHOLE BEING LIGHTS UP. SHE IS SO FULL OF HOPE THE ALLIANCE CAN’T EVEN HANDLE IT. When she’s helping Cassian to the elevator and he asks if anyone’s listen she says she knows they are, somewhere. JYN IS A PRECIOUS DARLING AND MUST BE PROTECTED.
· Cassian. Oh my God. Cassian is the beeeeeeeest. He is also a killer cinnamon roll, you just need to dig waaaaay deeper to find the doughy part inside unless you’re Jyn and you just impale him, breaking through all his walls at once and become his weakness in no time at all. You can so clearly see his inner turmoil when he has to kill his contact or when he takes aim at Galen. DO NOT get me started on when they’re imprisoned by Saw and Chirrut says something along the lines of, “You carry your cage with you all the time.” He is damaged and dark and closed off and THEN YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS? JYN MOTHER FUCKING ERSO HAPPENS. Jyn Erso turns Cassian Andor into a fricking teddy bear, an anxious, paranoid, overly protective teddy bear and I LOVE IT.
· I want Chirrut to be my best friend. He is a cinnamon roll that jumps out of your hand, punches you in the face, and makes a snarky comment when you try to eat it. The thing that I somehow didn’t really pick up on or at least appreciate the first time round is how well he understands people. He knows Baze like an extension of himself, obviously, but same with the rest of Rogue One. He is loyal and wise and soooooo sassy and BAD ASS.
· Baze is the dark horse, for me. I gave him the least amount of thought the first time around and now I am SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF. Baze that brooding, cynical humor that I could eat like fricking candy. He’s a human tank, but you can tell his has the biggest damn heart by the way he treats Chirrut and Jyn. Also, a line I hadn’t noticed before was, “He was once the most devoted guardian of them all.” It adds a whole ‘nother dimension to his character.
· Bodhi is a cinnamoniest fricking cinnamon roll I have ever laid eyes on. In his first appearance on screen he’s shaking like a Chihuahua. He’s this babbling ball of nerves and he had my heart instantly. All his life he’s had to fight for something he doesn’t believe in and Galen gave him the courage to follow his heart and HE DOES. HE FINDS SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR. During the rebel meeting, I felt like a mom watching her son go off to his first day of kindergarten, worrying about whether or not he would make friends. Whoever said commented on him being an imperial pilot during the meeting, I wanted to smack his damn face. That is my baby, you are talking about. You don’t even have an inkling how kind and loyal he is. BACK OFF MY BODHI.
· K2 is officially my favorite droid. He has this childlike innocence about him that is so fricking charming coming from a 7ft tall robot. His protectiveness and loyalty to Cassian is so endearing and his slow acceptance of Jyn feels so genuine. I will bet you that Cassian worked extra hard on installing that sass modulator when he reprogrammed K because it has been put to good use. I would buy a K2-SO “how to sass people” guide.
Cast Members
· Felicity Jones is a fantastic actress. Absolutely perfect for this role. I was tearing up watching her react to Galen’s message. Every movement, every facial expression, every line feels real.
· I am officially smitten with Diego Luna. I am lost in Loveland and I don’t want a damn map. He is one sweet piece of eye candy, but even more than that, he is utterly inspiring. I’m learning a second language and seeing him onscreen with his beautiful, beautiful accent- unapologetic, proud as can be- puts a fire in my stomach to keep trying. Luna is an amazing actor, managing to portray a character as complex as Cassian honestly.
· This film looks like it would push even the most experienced actors to their limit. Physically demanding in the most insane conditions. Remember Eadu? They were soaked to the bone! They were slipping and sliding like penguins in the rain. Acting is hard. Acting while your clothes weigh 50 extra pounds and there’s water in our eyes is nuts. this is all I could think about the entire scene
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