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#i am done crying over that finale
stevesnailbat · 4 months
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absolutely loveeeee when i can’t sleep because i’m plagued with the feeling that i’m the worst person to walk this earth 🤭
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milo-is-rambling · 5 months
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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even#with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s#so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and#that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
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elenadoeslife · 2 months
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this morning we had car trouble (oil light kept turning on, even after refilling), now we have water leaking down our living room wall because the drain for the washing machine wasn't placed correctly.
I've been bawling my eyes out all afternoon. I am so incredibly tired and hormonal, my brain just crashes.
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mcl-mia · 1 year
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A Retainer’s Duty
Word count: 20.4k | Rating: T (some swearing) | Zeus Brundle x Hiro Tachibana (Zeusro)
//this is it. this is my magnum opus. never ask me for anything ever again. 
this is also my favorite thing i have ever written, and has been an on and off process for about 2 years. please be nice to me LOL. this is also INCREDIBLY BEEFY, so do not hesitate to read this in its GOOGLE DOC FORM. as a matter of fact, i’d prefer if you did. there’s pretty colored text in that version and it’s formatted much nicer. 
☆☆☆
A retainer's duty cannot be taken lightly. It cannot end, even when your life's on the line. Your life is that of your liege's. You are completely disposable and replaceable by the nobility above you. Do not overstep your boundaries. 
Know your place. 
Do not become friends. 
Do not fall in love.
All of these things are impossible to do all at once, which was something Hiro had repeated in his own thoughts many times throughout his life. The latter half of the list of the "rules" his father laid out for him have since become null. If anything, love is the most important part of his relationship with his liege. 
Love: because it's hard to not to fall in love with the biggest idiot on the planet.
☆☆☆
Thirteen years together since birth, and things are beginning to change.
"Is that all you've got, Hiro?!"
It wasn't. Hiro won three out of four sparring matches already. He felt bad, and had to let Zeus win at least one. Hiro could go on for ten more matches without breaking a sweat, and Zeus knows this scarily well. 
Zeus, however, was not in as great of shape. Sweat bleeds through his t-shirt, dark as it may be. Zeus' hair is frizzy, his clothes are disheveled, and his breathing is heavy and without rhythm. 
However, his eyes have a fire in them.
Hiro had gone too easy on him, he thinks.
"In general? No. For you? Yes." Zeus pouted, unsatisfied by the fact that Hiro is giving up so readily. "Let's just rest for a bit. You're out of breath, idiot."
"Fine. But, the next round is in ten minutes!"
"Please. In ten minutes you'll be passed out on the ground, and then I'll have to drag you back to your room and have to explain to your sisters that you're not dead."
"I'll be fine. At least sit next to me so you can rest, too."
Hiro was caught a little off guard, but never showed it on his face. Zeus always asked Hiro to rest, and always made sure Hiro was okay as well, but why ask to sit next to him?
"I'm fine. I'm not even tired." Hiro smugly grinned at Zeus, almost teasing him about their physical differences. 
"How lovely. Now sit."
"Whatever."
Hiro dropped down to sit next to Zeus, who had been making the "sit down" motion with his hand the entire time. Hiro debated sitting on his hand as a joke, but the last thing he wanted was to hear Zeus complaining about how he got "ass fingers" because of him.
The grass had a slight crunch to it as the middle schooler sat down, a product of the sun beating down too harsh on it during the past few weeks. "Why not sit in the shade? That tree is literally five feet away."
"Who cares?" Zeus scoffed. "It's not like we're going to get a sunburn. You know that my parents control the weather around the manor."
"Still feels weird."
"You're weird."
"Your face is weird."
"Your MOM is weird."
"No no no, my SISTER is weird."
The two boys laughed at their own bickering, with Zeus falling over from how apparently funny the whole ordeal was. Zeus never found Hiro's sister, Kureha, very fun to be around. Kureha had a scary aura around her, and always threatened to "cut Zeus' hair while he slept" if the two misbehaved.
Zeus stared at the bright sky above them, watching the clouds carefully as if he was studying them, while Hiro thought Zeus was a more interesting subject. 
There was no denying that Zeus, visually, was interesting. His natural pastel blue hair and his dark skin were a stunning combination. His sapphire eyes also complimented his complexion, giving him an almost ethereal appearance. It didn't help that Zeus, despite being in his awkward tween years, was already garnering the attention of many of his peers at school due to his good looks. 
However, not a single one of those admirers know how much of a boisterous idiot Zeus really was. Hiro treasured this knowledge, but also sometimes despised it.
"Lie down with me."
"Another order, your highly-ness?"
"Yes. I think you'll enjoy it."
"If you say so?"
More of the grass was crushed under Hiro's body as he laid down, maybe a little too close to the other boy. Maybe not close enough.
Hiro's eyes wandered from Zeus' face to the sky above, his hands resting on his chest. Dozens of small clouds littered in the bright blue sky above them, but there wasn't nearly enough to call it overcast. 
"Hey, that one kinda looks like a butt."
"Oh my god, you're right! But WHOSE butt?"
"I dunno. Yours?"
"Aw, you think my butt looks that nice?"
"I definitely did NOT say that."
"Let it be known, people of the world: Hiro Tachibana thinks my butt looks like it's as soft as a cloud!"
"You really are an idiot, aren't you!"
Hiro lifted his right hand from its comfortable position on his chest and hit Zeus square in the stomach with his fist. A clean hit, nice and sharp. Zeus let out a small yelp and rolled on his side before the two young boys started laughing once more, amused at their own jokes. While coming down from their laughing high, the boys' hands seemed to fall into one another, as if they'd done this a million times before. Of course, they'd never tell anyone else that. That was their little secret.
Small fingers wove themselves together for the first time. It had always been open palms, one leading the other. Neither initiated it, but neither stopped it from happening. The boys didn't shake their gaze from the bright sky above. The only sounds left after their laughter was the rustling of the trees nearby. The little universe they created between them was peaceful and undisturbed. 
That is, until Zeus let out a daydream-shattering yawn. 
"You're way more tired than you thought, Zeus."
"I'm nooot… 'M just a lil'... hhAAAAAUUUnnnghh… sleep deprived, 's all…"
"Classic excuse. Do you need me to carry you to your bed, your sleepy-ness?"
"Dun make fun 'a me! Jus'…"
"Juuuust?"
"Jus'... stay with… me…"
"...Huh?"
"I said stay with me! Dun make me repeat my… myshelf…."
Zeus rolled slightly over to face Hiro, eyes closed, his movements teeming with drowsiness. Hiro's cheeks started to turn several shades of pink. Zeus would absolutely make fun of him if he actually saw him like this. Against his better judgment, Hiro rolled over to face Zeus as well. Not like he's going to be looking, anyways.
"If it's what you desire, your highly-ness."
"Mmm… thank you, my…. hero…"
Zeus was out like a light, and it didn't take long for Hiro to start getting sleepy as well. 
"My 'hero'... he really is an idiot." Hiro thought briefly.
Hiro’s eyes lingered on Zeus for a moment before he felt them close all by themselves. A small smile crept up on Hiro’s lips as the two drifted off into the world of dreams together. 
Little did they know, but a certain young woman was watching them from afar. She doesn’t dare wake them for dinner.
☆☆☆
Nine years together since birth, and so many things are the same.
It was a grand party that was to be held to commemorate the young lord’s ninth birthday. 
This never came as a surprise to the Tachibana family, as they always participated in the events that the Brundle family had hosted in the past. Hiro, despite being so young, has already heard so much about his family’s ties to Zeus’. So much that he is actually starting to get annoyed by all of the lectures his father gives him during their training sessions.
“Hiro, our family is very important to the Brundle family. We exist to protect them with our bodies, our minds, and our souls.” The lessons from Hiro’s father always start the same. “You and your sister are the next generation of the Tachibana name. Do you remember what it means to be a retainer, my son?”
“It means that we are the shields of the royal family. Our duties never end, even when our lives are on the line…”
“Yes, my boy. And what else?”
“It… means we can’t get close to our lieges. If we are too attached, our thoughts will be bad…”
“Exactly. Do you remember your job today, as every year?”
“Yes, papa. My job is to stay by the young lord’s side all night, and get help if he is attacked, or if he is being stolen away.”
“Yes, my son. Now, go get ready with your sister. The party will begin soon.”
“Yes, papa… but, can I ask you something, papa?”
“Yes?”
“Why can’t I be friends with Zeus and his protector at the same time? I don’t think that Lord Brundle minds... “ 
Hiro’s father knelt down to meet Hiro’s eye level, and placed a large hand on Hiro’s head. “Hiro, you know the answer to that already. You just told me, did you not?”
“Yes, but…”
“But?” His father’s voice lowered an octave. Hiro’s head tilted down in shame for asking. 
“Nevermind, papa. I’m going now.” Hiro gave a small excusatory bow, much like the ones he always saw the servants do in the estate. Closing the door behind him, Hiro left the room to head to the head maid’s room, where his sister, Kureha, was already getting ready.
Not long after Hiro had left the room, Zeus’ own father entered with a small grin on his face. 
“Come now, don’t you think you’re being a little hard on the boy?” Zeus’ father leaned against the door frame, also slightly amused at how Hiro had not taken notice of his eavesdropping.
“You know I cannot be soft on him, my liege. I cannot let him repeat my mistakes.” Hiro’s father glanced downward at his liege’s legs, one of them made of metal and wood. 
“You know that wasn’t your fault.” Zeus’ father adjusted his stance and shifted his weight off of his prosthetic to approach the other man, placing a hand on his shoulder.
Hiro’s father put his hand on his liege’s and let out a deep sigh. 
“I only want him to be careful.”
----
Hiro ran all the way to the head maid’s room, and was completely out of breath by the time he reached it.
“You’re late, Hiro!” Kureha immediately hit him on the head for his tardiness. 
“OW! Blame papa for it, not me!!” 
“Shut it. Late is late. Go tell Miss Olivia that you’re here so she can grab your clothes already!”
All Hiro could do was walk away and stick his tongue out at Kureha, who threateningly grabbed her shoe and prepared to throw it at the young boy. Hiro immediately ran into the head maid’s actual room, only to find that Zeus is still being waited on by the seamstresses on the final adjustments to his coat. 
“Hiro!!” Zeus swiftly shooed away the young maid tending to the hem on the sleeve of his coat and ran up to Hiro, giving him a massive hug. Hiro hugged back. 
“It’s about time you showed up! Do you know how BORED I was without you?!”
“‘Prolly a lot.” Hiro grinned as Zeus pulled away, but Zeus still held on to Hiro’s shoulders.
“Oh, Hiro! There you are!” Olivia snapped up from behind a small, messy work desk, where she did a lot of her embroidery. “Come now, dear, let’s get you all dressed up. Our guests will be arriving any moment now!”
“Yes, Miss Olivia…” Hiro reluctantly removed Zeus’ hands from him. “I’ll see you at the party!”, Hiro whispered to the other boy.
“Yes! Until then!” Zeus waved as Hiro was dragged away to be fitted for his own coat.
----
The party itself was dizzying for such a young boy. Zeus, being the star of the party, was constantly at the center of attention. Family friends, relatives Zeus barely remembers, even strange people who clearly only want to be on Lord Brundle’s good side. Thankfully, nobody outright suspicious-looking has entered the ballroom, as Hiro thought to himself. Despite being so young, Hiro has already been in training to be a full-fledged retainer since he could walk, so it is already very easy for him to spot shifty people in the shadows. 
Hiro was never fond of most people, so he was always close to the young lord, hardly ever speaking to the nobles, unless he was addressed directly… Which wasn't often. Not that Hiro minded, of course. He could always tell which nobles are the “good” ones, and which are the ones that just act good. 
As the night kept dragging on, the golden chandeliers and dark marble floors in the ballroom started to lose their magic for the young boys. The Brundle family always uses magic to change the looks in their ballroom for every large event to suit their aesthetics. Once it was time for dinner to be served, the wizards and Lord Brundle himself adorned the ballroom with many tables. The tables were decorated with long, dark blue tablecloths with horizontal gold stripes around the circumference. In the center of all of them were large glass centerpieces, which looked like two vases stacked on eachother. In the bottom section was a magical candle that burned a blue flame, and on top was a beautiful bouquet of blue anemones, small white lilies, ferns, and gold pearl strands cascading down the sides. At the table for the Brundle and Tachibana families, similar centerpieces adorned the long table, but only had a single tier, and had a long candle sticking out of the top. 
Zeus, of course, was at the center of the table. Hiro always sat next to him, regardless of the function. Zeus’ family lined up on the side next to him, and the Tachibana family sprinkled themselves in between to sit next to their lieges. All for protection’s sake, obviously. 
While everyone else was being served “adult food” (as Zeus and Hiro called it), the two boys had their own dinners that were specially made. As the boys talked between themselves, giggling here and there about the ridiculousness of this whole thing, but never quite loud enough for others to hear, Zeus’ father chuckled to himself while Hiro’s father started to stare daggers at his son’s behavior. Hiro felt a chill in his spine and froze, with Zeus picking up what was happening only a few seconds later. Zeus looked at his own father, who gave him a thumbs up. As people were beginning to finish their meals, Zeus’s father stood and tapped his wine glass with a spoon to garner attention.
“Everyone! Everyone, may I have your attention please?” The crowd of people turns towards the table in the center, staring at Lord Brundle with curiosity. “Thank you, thank you all.” He gives a small bow to the room.
“Tonight is a grand night for our firstborn son, Zeus, and I sincerely thank everyone for being able to celebrate this joyous day in our family.” The ballroom roared with applause, some feeling their egos heightened for being thanked for their presence, while others clapped out of politeness. “Yes, yes. While today is all about our son, Zeus wants us to take a moment and appreciate those who have protected us, and the ones who made this day possible.” Lord Brundle motions to Hiro’s father, and holds his hand out for him to grab and stand up as well, winking at Zeus as he does it. Lord Brundle has done this before, and Zeus knows this to be a distraction. Zeus grabs Hiro’s hand. 
“Let’s get outta here for a bit.” While Hiro’s father was distracted, Zeus and Hiro got out of their chairs and started making their way past everyone. They did, however, stop at Zeus’ mother to let her know that they were “running to the bathroom”, to which she nodded. “Don’t be too long, dear. Don’t forget that we still have the dances coming up!” she grinned. The two boys nodded and grinned back before running off, out of sight from the rest of the guests.
“Everyone, please give a round of huzzahs for the Tachibana family!” was the last thing the two boys heard as they scampered out of the ballroom and out into the rest of the Brundle’s mansion.
----
The two boys eventually found themselves in the western garden, with the gentle moonlight and the soft glow of the magical lanterns illuminating every step they took. 
The western garden is the most classic of the three that surround the Brundle estate, with it being paved with cobblestone and lined with rose hedges that delicately border every pathway. There are a few stone gazebos, benches, outdoor clocks, and fountains that, despite their age, still look brand new. Zeus and Hiro eventually came to one of the gazebos in the center of the garden, giggling the whole way there as they escaped. They considered it their “secret spot”.
“I can’t believe your dad just DID that!!”
“Eh, he does it all the time. He likes you, so he covers for us. Your dad is too mean!”
“Tell me about it. At least you don’t have to live with him.”
“Oh, man, you’re right. Haha!”
The two boys laughed again, their hands still clasped together from running away. Zeus takes a big, long breath, relieved to be away from the party, even though he enjoys the attention.
“You know, it’s nice to get away from those stuck-ups. These parties can be so boooooring!”
“Boooooooring!!”, Hiro echoed.
“At least I have you with me. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you!”
“You'd prolly die of boredom.” 
“I’d prolly die of boredom, yeah.”
This gazebo was a special one, because it wasn’t made entirely of stone. The ceiling was made with a hole that had a thick sheet of glass in place of more stone, which made it perfect for stargazing. The ceiling was also painted with the constellations that make up the Queensblade’s night sky, and gold detailing throughout the rest of the pillars and handrails that connected the top to the bottom.
The two boys stared up through the glass, admiring the clear night sky that always seemed to welcome them. If they turned their heads just right, they could see the full moon shining above them. 
“Hey, do you want to know something that my mom taught me?”
"Uh, okay…?"
"Look at those stars over there. Do you see those shapes?"
"I know what const-ull-ay-shuns are, dummy."
"Y-yeah, but my mom told me about these special ones. Look at those ones!" Hiro pointed to two constellations that were side by side. "Do you see the ones that look like a tail and a triangle?"
"Yeeeeaaaah? And?"
"Well, my mom told me that the tail is called Scorpius, and the triangle is Capricornus."
"So what? They're just stars."
"Well, you were born under Scorpius, and I was born under Capricornus. So, even if we're apart, we'll always be near each other in the stars..." Hiro looked away and blushed, a little embarrassed at what he had just said. Zeus looked at the painting above, and his eyes widened in realization. He turned to Hiro with a look of childlike wonder and happiness.
"So… Does that mean we'll always be together?"
Hiro peeked back over to Zeus and nodded.
"That… is so cool!!!" Zeus leapt up from his stone seat with an unparalleled excitement in his eyes. "If we're always going to be together, then I'll never get sad, because you make me happy!" The boy had the biggest smile on his face, and it was clear that he took those words to heart. Hiro's face got even more red at the embarrassment he had just now realized he subjected himself to, but he smiled back at Zeus nonetheless. 
"Yeah… You… make me happy too! So, we won't ever be sad!" 
The two boys giggled again at their vow. This was their happiness that they had discovered. Not one that was planned out by their parents, not one that was faked by strangers, and definitely not one that was forced by everyone else around them. This was natural.
After a short minute, Zeus looked around and noticed one of the clocks in the garden, and realized something very important.
"AAAHH!!"
"AUGH! Jeez, what is it?!" Hiro had an almost scolding tone for Zeus, who startled him with his sudden outburst.
"The dances!! We need to go back, now!"
"Oh no! You're right, let's go!" Hiro darted from his seat as well, grabbing the other boy's hand and sprinted through the garden. 
Hiro was a little faster than Zeus, so he couldn't go as fast as he wanted, but the two managed to slip back into the party without anyone else noticing that they were gone.
----
As the two came back to their seats, somehow, Zeus' father was still thanking all of the staff that made the party possible. He was finally on the waitstaff, which was somehow the second to last group to thank. Hiro considered how long they were gone, and realized just how many people make these parties happen, and that Zeus' father made it a point to memorize the names of everybody in the Brundle house's service. 
"Please, everyone, one more round of applause for all of our waitstaff this evening!... Yes, thank you all. And last, but most certainly not least, I want to thank every single one of you who gave us your spare time to come and celebrate this momentous occasion with us. While the staff here is an important part of making this possible, we would not be here without all of you!"
The crowd let out another roar of applause, with their egos being stroked. Lord Brundle always had a silver tongue, and he was able to use it so masterfully. It never fails to amuse the rest of the Brundle family when he gets to use it to distract his ever-gullible retainer.
Once the commotion had calmed down and everyone had finished their meals, Lady Brundle announced that it was almost time for the family dances. Zeus was to dance with his mother, father, and some strangers that lined themselves up to get closer to the young heir. Once again, Lord Brundle and some of the other servants used technically simple but flashy spells to convert the ballroom back to being the dance hall it once was. The plates were practically waltzed out of the room and into the kitchen to be washed; the centerpieces on the tables morphed into decorations for the curtains, and some were turned into smaller chandeliers to illuminate the currently barren dance floor. 
As the music picked up again, the two boys silently dreaded their physical separation, even though they wouldn't be far from one another. Hiro decided to try and ease the tension from those thoughts.
"Try not to step on any toes!" Hiro gave a playful nudge to Zeus with his elbow.
"Try not to look creepy on the outside!" Zeus joked back. He seems to be a bit more calm, or at least that's what Hiro thought.
The dances that Zeus had with his parents were practiced rigorously beforehand. Zeus had spent many months already practicing his waltz, and was a quick study. 
The dance with his mother, of course, was one of those waltzes. It was a very formal dance, and it gained many "awws" from the mothers in the crowd, especially because Zeus was so small compared to his mother. But then again, he only just turned nine, so that was to be expected. 
The dance with Lord Brundle, though, was much more lively. This dance was meant to impress, and the Brundle family had even brought in a choreographer to make it both child-friendly and full of pizazz. It was almost reminiscent of a flamenco dance, but every step was brimming with magical effects. Blue rose petals swirled around them at all times while they occasionally performed other fantastical spells to the rhythm. It was a dazzling performance, and it got the crowd cheering once again.
Hiro could only stare at Zeus from the sidelines. After all, there was no "Lord and Retainer" dance, not like he particularly liked dancing. He was fine right where he was. It wasn't long, however, until the planned dances were over, and the guests were free to dance among themselves, and perhaps to let one of their own heirs dance with Zeus. And, of course, many of the guests had their daughters line up to get a chance to dance with him. If this weren't a party put on by the Brundle family, Hiro and Zeus could have made a small fortune by making these young girls pay for a dance. 
"You don't need to look so sad every time he dances with someone else, dummy." Kureha practically came out of nowhere and gave a small karate chop to the top of Hiro's head.
"Ow! Kurehaaaa! Not at the party!"
"Boohoo. Nobody pays attention to us, anyways. We're always just extras at these parties."
"That doesn't mean we can't enjoy them… And what do you mean I look sad?! I'm not sad!"
"Your existence is just sad. So, I just thought you were sad." Kureha had a devilish grin on her face. She was four years older than Hiro, so she had a lot more experience with the parties the Brundle family put on, and was already a lot more mature, even though Hiro and Zeus would tell you a much different story.
"Hmph!" Hiro stuck his nose up and turned away from his sister. "Why are you bothering me, anyways? Shouldn't you be with Lady Brundle?"
"She's talking to the other nobles. Father is with her, and it sounds like they're talking politics, so I left."
"Pawl-uh-ticks? What's that?"
"I dunno, but it was really boring stuff. I hardly knew what they were talking about."
"Uh huh. So you came to bother me, because…?"
"What? I'm not allowed to hang out with my baby brother, who I love soooo much?" Kureha pulled Hiro into a head lock and gave him a noogie.
"Aaah! Kureha, no!" Hiro tried to quickly fix his hair before any of the other servants saw, especially Miss Olivia.
"Haha! Got 'ya!" After her successful attempt at annoying her little brother, Kureha's face softened. "But seriously, though. Are you doing okay? You do look a little sad over here."
Hiro didn't know how to answer her. He didn't feel sad, so why did she think so? But, seeing Zeus over there, having fun with other people was making him feel something. Something he didn't know how to describe.
"I… I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"Well, I don't know if I'm sad. I don't feel sad, but I'm not happy, either."
"How does it feel, then? You can tell me anything, you know."
The young boy had to think for a moment before he answered. "Maybe… um… I think it's like being upset?"
"Upset?"
"Yeah. Even though I know Zeus will be done dancing soon, I just wish he wasn't dancing in the first place."
"What, you think he's a bad dancer or something?"
"No, it's more like.. I just want to be playing with him right now, and not anybody else, you know? And it… kind of hurts that he"s not doing that right now."
A massive lightbulb went off in Kureha's head. This was her first inkling of what was happening, but she won't ever say her thoughts out loud to anyone.
"Well, you can't always have someone to yourself. That's just selfish, and you may end up hurting them if they don't want to do what you want, too." She turned to her younger brother and gave him a gentle smile. "So… just wait for him. If he wants to come back, he will."
"You sound like mom."
"And you listen to mom. So, listen to me for once."
"Maybe." Kureha shot him a slightly threatening look. "But… Thanks, sis. I'll wait."
And so, he did. Hiro waited until every last dance was done from the sidelines.
---
After Zeus had finally worked his way through every girl that wanted a dance, he immediately made his way over to Hiro. How he still had energy in him to walk after over 50 straight dances, Hiro will never know. Maybe his dinner had an energy booster or something.
"Hiro, come on! My mom wants to talk to me!" Before Hiro could even get a word in, he was already being dragged away from his wallflower perch. 
"Wh- okay, okay! I'm coming!"
The two boys worked their way over to Lady Brundle, who was still surrounded by many other guests. Hiro looked around, and noticed that his father was back on the other side of the room with Lord Brundle. He must have known Hiro would be dragged away with Zeus, so he simply went to a new "post". He was always sharp, except for when it came to Lord Brundle's distractions.
"Ah, darling! Thank you for joining us." Lady Brundle welcomed her son and Hiro warmly. "Did you enjoy your dancing time?"
"Of course, mother!" Zeus flashed a large, sweet smile at his mother. He has always been a bit of a momma's boy. 
"Oh, what a charmer!" cooed one of the guests nearby.
"Tell us, dear. Was there anyone you enjoyed dancing with… the most?" Another guest asked slyly. They wasted no time in getting to the point. Lady Brundle hid her annoyance, but she knew this was coming.
"Oh, um… Well, they're all such good dancers. I don't think I like anyone more than the rest."
"My, my! So fair and kind. Milady, your son is already growing up wonderfully!" The first guest spoke up again. While she tried to hide it, it was easy to tell that she was both hurt by Zeus' lack of favoritism, but not discouraged by the even playing field.
"Ah, yes, thank you." Lady Brundle replied. 
"Well, young man," the second guest bent down to meet Zeus' eye level, "you may want to think about a favorite. You just might end up marrying one of those beautiful girls you just danced with!" The second guest gave a big wink to Zeus. Hiro's cheeks grew a little pink upon hearing the adults talk about marriage.
"Oh, come now, darling. He's a little too young to-" Lady Brundle was interrupted before she could change the subject.
"Why would I think about it? I already know who I want to marry." Zeus said bluntly, but still with some confusion. 
The guests squealed at Zeus' bold statement. A choice! A bride in the making! Lady Brundle almost choked on her own tongue out of sheer surprise. She looked at her son like he had just grown five heads.
"Well now, sweetheart! Now you HAVE to tell us who the lucky gal is! We won't tell her, of course."
Hiro could barely believe these women. He wasn't very experienced in these kinds of social matters, but he could tell they all had ulterior motives. 
"Well… When you marry someone, you want to spend forever with them, right? To never be apart from them?" Zeus turned towards his mother.
"Ah, well, yes… To put it simply."
"Then, I want to marry Hiro!"
Zeus' answer was quick, and made the group fall silent. Hiro couldn't believe his ears. Whispers of "Who is Hiro?", "Is that the Tachibana boy?", and "The young lord wants to marry a boy? How unheard of!" made their rounds in the back of the group with the gossip-mongers. The poor, dark haired boy's face was so red from Zeus' proclamation, and he had to look at the floor out of embarrassment. He wasn't upset at Zeus, however. In fact, he felt warmth and joy. 
Lady Brundle shook her head to regain her composure. "Zeus, darling… Are you sure?" 
"Yes!" Zeus replied eagerly.
Lady Brundle approached Hiro, who was still processing Zeus' words. She knelt down to meet his gaze and placed a gentle hand on his cheek to turn the young boy's face to meet her own. Hiro looked at her with red cheeks and a bit of fear in his eyes. "And what about you, Hiro? Do you want to marry Zeus?" She spoke calmly, and without judgment.
"I… I want to marry Zeus, too!" Hiro's mouth moved faster than his brain. He didn't think about it, he just said what he felt. If he got to stay with Zeus forever, of course he'd say yes.
Lady Brundle stood up slowly, and then burst out into a hearty laugh.
"Well, ladies! It looks as though my son has a favorite after all! Looks like you'll have to try again later!" The rest of the guests could not believe what they had just heard, but they laughed along with Lady Brundle. They thought that, maybe, they WOULD try again later. This won't be the last time they see Zeus, of course. And he only just turned nine, so there is a good chance he'll grow out of it… or at least that's what they all thought.
"Well now, dear, go run and get your father. It is almost time for cake!" Lady Brundle winked at her son, who was still confused at why his answer caused so much disturbance among the guests his mother was with. But, cake! Cake is a good distraction. The two boys immediately shifted gears and started running to Lord Brundle so they could finally get the dessert they had been waiting for.
The party had finally settled for the night after cake had been served. Guests trickled out of the Brundle estate slowly, with some of the women looking more disappointed than others. Not to say it wasn't a great time, and Lord and Lady Brundle personally saw every guest off as they left. 
Hiro and Zeus had already snuck off to their secret spot again, with two large slices of cake that they snatched while nobody was looking. They were surprised that there was still so much left, but that just meant more for them, so they were happy about it.
The two boys spent a long time talking about the party and the super ugly people there in between mouthfuls of cake. Zeus was finally able to relax again, and the night was still relatively young. It was only 8 p.m., so well before their bed time. Zeus complained about the stuffy nobles and almost all of the girls he had to dance with.
"She kept stepping on my toes, Hiro! Did you see that?!"
"Yeah! Who taught her how to dance? Wasn't she older than you, too?"
"Ugh, YES! So weird! My feet are going to have so many bruises tomorrow, I swear!"
"We'll need to get you a lot of ice, that's for sure."
"Ugh…" Zeus slumped in the stone bench, visibly exhausted. Who thought it was a good idea to put a nine year old through so much turmoil?
"At least you were there. You're my hero!"
"Uhh… I'm owned by you?"
"No, not… owning. Hero, like how Garuto is a hero of the Foliage Village?"
"OOOOOH! W-well, it was nothin'..." Hiro's cheeks turned red again, and he had to look at the ground again to avert Zeus' gaze. He couldn't help but ask Zeus the burning question he's had since his last interaction with Lady Brundle "U-um.. Zeus?"
"Yeah?"
"Did you… mean what you said to your mom?"
"About marrying you?"
"Yeah…"
"'Course I did! Why?"
"I just… It…" Hiro turned further away from Zeus, trying to hide his red face. "It… made me really happy, but… Why?"
"Well…" Zeus' cheeks also started to turn pink. "Y-you said it earlier! We're never going to be apart, so, that means we'll be together forever! And, well, marrying you is…"
"Huh…?"
"Marrying you means I want to be together with you forever, and I do, s-so of course I mean it!"
Hiro couldn't help but laugh. 
"Wha- Hey! Don't make fun of me!!"
"No, I… I'm not. I'm just… happy."
"Happy..?" 
"I want to stay with you forever, too, so…"
Zeus perked up when Hiro spoke those words, and his eyes sparkled. He grabbed Hiro's hands excitedly and whipped Hiro around so he could see into his eyes.
"Do you mean it?" Zeus was uncharacteristically serious. Hiro wasn't used to this.
"...Why wouldn't I?" Hiro replied nervously. He looked into Zeus' sapphire eyes, and noticed the warmth of Zeus' hands around his. He didn't quite understand what exactly he was feeling when he did, and his face was still flushed.
"Pinky promise?" Zeus let go of Hiro's right hand and extended his pinky finger. Hiro looked at Zeus' hand, and his face softened for a moment.
"Pinky promise." Hiro wrapped his pinky around the other boy's tightly. 
"Then it's settled! When we're older, we'll get married!" Zeus beamed, and Hiro had never seen Zeus this happy. He couldn't help but smile.
This was their happiness. Nobody could take this from them. This promise is theirs to have. Whether it is kept or not doesn't matter right now, but they just know that everything will end up okay.
☆☆☆
Twenty three years together, and things couldn't be any more different.
Sunlight peeks through the curtains of a night class dormroom on a lazy day off. Zeus and Hiro are still asleep in their beds as their blackout curtains are seemingly failing at their jobs. It's almost eleven in the morning, but this is just the routine for a student in the night class.
Zeus is the first one to pop his eyes open, letting out a massive yawn as his body adjusts to being awake. He rubs his eyes and looks over at Hiro, who looks like he hasn't even turned over in the night. Zeus debates on holding up a mirror to his nose to check if he's even breathing, but he's done that before. He then remembers the consequences of doing that, and ultimately decides against it. Instead, he decides to take a nice shower and go through the rest of his morning routine. He doesn't wake Hiro directly, but he's sure Hiro will give him an earful for starting the "stupidly loud shower" while he's still sleeping. It's a risk he'll have to take.
Not long after Zeus starts the shower, Hiro's eyes peel open. Although he notices the shower is on, he's way too groggy and sleepy to care. He sits up in his bed and stares at the dorm, which is covered in a lot of memories from their past few years at Gedonelune Academy. Hiro never understood why, but Zeus was one of those people that wanted pictures of almost every major event that they experienced at the academy. Every single one of them also has little notes written on them, most of them in Zeus' handwriting, but not all. There's a picture of their first day at the academy, when Headmaster Randolph stepped down, when Zeus and Hiro first became prefects, and so many other memories made with the other friends they've made while at the academy. There's even a photo of them chasing after their friends, Liz and Leslie, for… reasons Hiro and Zeus don't wish to speak about. Hiro always thought that was a memory Zeus didn't want on the wall, but Zeus insists on having it "so he doesn't forget what he felt that day", whatever that means.
Still barely processing his surroundings, Hiro slowly makes his way to the kitchenette in their room and starts preparing some much needed coffee for the two of them. Thankfully, the Night Class dorm rooms were nice enough to have such a thing so they didn't have to go all the way down to the communal kitchen every single time. Once the coffee is done brewing, Hiro starts preparing Zeus' cup first. Zeus prefers his coffee with a lot of creamer and sugar, so it has to be warmed back up. He then starts pouring his own… with just as much creamer, but not as much sugar. He thinks that the creamer is sweet enough, especially since they got a cinnamon roll flavored one this time. Hiro's lips curl into a smile as he remembers the debate the two had at the grocery store. 
Now slightly more caffeinated, Hiro goes to make his bed and grab some clean clothes for when Zeus eventually comes out of the shower. Zeus can take a long, long time in the shower, so Hiro decides that he'll get some morning exercise in while he waits. He turns on a speaker on top of his dresser and starts playing some of his favorite bands, then goes immediately into his stretches. He hums along to some of the songs as he continues to stretch as "Honey, Gravity Is Working Right" and "Greetings to the Dark Gray Street Performers" play right after one another, which pleases his inner middle schooler. He then starts doing what should seem like an unnatural amount of push-ups, taking some extra sips of coffee in between reps. Despite his daily workouts, Hiro has always had muscle, but it never really shows. His abs are more defined, sure, but his arms almost always look like toothpicks. He debates on whether or not to bulk up, but decides not to in favor of having the element of surprise. Always better to be underestimated than overestimated, according to his father.
When Hiro starts working up a sweat, Zeus finally comes out of the bathroom. 
"It's about damn time." Hiro chided playfully. When he got up, he then noticed that Zeus only had a towel on. Hiro immediately turned away to gather his own clothes and speaker, a small blush across his cheeks.
"Aw, boo hoo. It's not my fault you don't wake up first." Zeus smirked and went to the microwave to retrieve the coffee he knew would be waiting for him. 
"You can always wake me up, you know."
"Noo-ho-hoooo way! Not anymore!" Zeus takes a big sip of coffee, smiling at how good Hiro makes it. "You are WAY too scary when I wake you up. The way you glare at me makes me feel like my life is in danger!"
"Your life is always in danger with me around." Hiro smirks and heads to the bathroom, still trying to avoid eye contact with Zeus. 
"Hey! It should be the opposite, you bastard!!" 
Hiro gave a nonchalant wave to Zeus before closing the bathroom door and locking it, finally having a truly private moment to himself. After turning on the shower to warm it up (and thanking the gods that the dorms have infinite hot water), Hiro paces over to the mirror, looking himself in the eyes and slapping his cheeks. "Get. A. Hold of yourself!" he whispers to himself, his face growing even more red the more he thought about Zeus.
These feelings weren't new, per se, but they have been difficult for Hiro to understand. Once puberty was in full swing for the two, things just started getting so… different. Zeus got more and more popular, and Hiro started to feel like he was growing further away from him, even though he was always at his side. Their physical intimacy had lowered, too, so every touch felt like fireworks. Hiro thought it was bad at first, and that it was more like burning. However, after the incident where Zeus almost lost his life to a fierga, and after Hiro was possessed by the BBW… He realized that it was a different kind of burning. Instead of a raging forest fire, it was more like a calm bonfire where you roast marshmallows on a clear summer night. Hiro just couldn't quite understand why he was feeling that way with Zeus. He never stopped to think about why, but he knew that Zeus had begun to annoy him in their later years. However, it wasn't in a bad way. After all, if it was that bad, why was he still there, right where he has been for the past twenty three years? 
Hiro mulled over these thoughts while the hot water rushed down his face and body, hoping that the steam would help clear his head. 
Zeus, on the other hand, was still working on his coffee and scanning his closet for the perfect outfit. Something comfortable, but different enough from his usual outfit. He mumbles a quick incantation to show him what the weather outside the academy is like. A nice, slightly warm spring day and a clear night. A perfect day, if you will. He smiles and pulls out some lighter clothes. He settles for a dark blue v-neck tee, tight black jeans that have pre-made distressing, dark brown lace-up boots, gray knit crew socks, and an oversized cream knit cardigan. He also pulls out his favorite pair of sunglasses: circular, reflective blue lenses with gold detailings and a gold, detachable chain. Even Hiro likes this pair, despite not being a huge sunglasses person.
"Perfect." He whispers, pushing up the sleeves of his cardigan to his elbows. He also pulls out a couple of rings, putting them on their respective fingers. Finally satisfied with his choices, he also fishes out a dark brown satchel and throws a couple things he thinks he'll need for the day: his Wolaroid camera, extra film for said camera, photo holder, lip balm, tissues, a small velvet box that he keeps in there just because, etc.
It's at this point Zeus hears the shower stop, and he goes to open the door to the patio and lets some fresh air in (and lets his eyes adjust to the sunlight). Zeus steps out onto the balcony, taking a deep breath. A small wind tickles his nose for a second, which causes him to exhale much more violently than he wanted.
Hiro comes out of the bathroom not long after, fully clothed unlike his roommate, and notices that a half full coffee cup is sitting next to Zeus' closet. Hiro grabs it and his own cup, then slides on a pair of slippers before joining Zeus on the balcony.
"You can just tell me if you don't like my coffee, you know." Hiro jokes as he hands Zeus the cup.
"Ahh, I knew I was forgetting something!" Zeus grabs the cup gingerly. "I forgot to tell you that your coffee tastes like ass."
"Well, I guess I asked for that."
"That you did."
"Then again, how exactly do you know what ass tastes like?" Hiro side-eyes Zeus smugly, taking a sip.
Zeus retaliates with an even more smug grin.
"ケツを食ベる."
Hiro nearly chokes on his coffee.
"NO. No! Who the hell taught you that?!"
"Randy said it, Azusa told me what it meant and how to say it properly."
"He actually told you how to say 'I eat ass' in proper Hinomotan?!"
"I'm always full of surprises, aren't I?"
"Oh my god. Oh my god, actually." Hiro buries his face into his free hand, shaking from trying not to burst out laughing. Trying to compose himself, Hiro notices that burning feeling in his chest again. He eventually shakes it off, and looks back over the balcony. Zeus turned to Hiro and broke the chaos. 
"Anyways, I've decided that we're going into town today."
"You decided? I have no choice?"
"Nope. I need you to perform your retainer duties."
"Whatever. Anywhere in particular?"
"Well, Jay mentioned that there is a new café that she thought we'd like, and today just so happens to be nice out, so…"
"You wanted an excuse to spend your allowance."
"Exactly!"
The two shared a look and chugged the rest of their drinks. There wasn't a lot left, but it's the thought that counts. After leaving the cups in the sink, Hiro went to put on his usual boots. In fact, he was dressed much more plainly than Zeus. A band tank top, dark blue jeans, a black and white flannel tied around his waist, his usual belts, and a crystal necklace that Zeus got him a long time ago. It was comfy, and that's all that mattered to him. Once he was done lacing up, he grabbed his katana and tied the scabbard around his less decorative belt. Zeus waited by the door and grabbed their dorm keys.
"Are you ready yet?"
"Yes, your highness."
Zeus glared at him. "I thought I told you to stop calling me that." Was it just Hiro, or was Zeus blushing a bit?
"I'm allowed to rebel against my liege if it's for their benefit."
"Very funny. Let's get going!" 
The trip into town was always a bit of a walk, but all of the students were grateful for how close the town was overall. 
It wasn't long before the two found themselves on Main Street, the town bustling with students and families on such a nice day off. Zeus pulls out a note from their friend Jay, which has the address of the café she recommended. Thankfully, it wasn't far off from where they were. Following that trail, they work their way to a quaint café that has wisteria flowers creeping up the side of the building and hanging over the entrance. The iron and wood sign above read "Café Selune". That's definitely the name she scribbled on the paper.
"Oh hey, dorks!"
Speak of the devil.
Turning towards the voice that called out to them, there stood Jay Abbey. It took them a moment to recognize her, mostly because she was out of uniform and had a completely different hair color than her normal light blue.
"Oh, hey, Jay! What are you doing out?"
"I'm heading down to my dad's wand shop for a visit. I see you're already checking this lovely little café…?"
"W-well, you have good taste sometimes, so I thought we'd get a bite to eat while we're out!"
"But, this was the only thing you said you wanted to do?"
Zeus froze, his ears turning red.
"A-anyways! What's with the hair change? Did you dye it last night or somethin'?"
"Yeah, the white looks nice, but it's weird seeing you without the blue."
"I hate to break this to you guys, but the white is my natural color. I normally use magic to make it blue. If I didn't, I'd never get the dye out." Jay raised an eyebrow and glanced at Zeus.
"Actually… While I have you, Zeus, could I talk to you for a sec? I have some, uh, questions about your lesson from last week!"
"I… guess? Can't it wait until tomorrow, though?"
"Nope. Right now. Alone. I don't have much more daylight left if I'm gonna see my dad!"
Jay grabbed Zeus by the arm and practically dragged him away by force. Hiro would have followed if he didn't have a reason to trust her, but he does. Jay has been a great friend since the Night and Day classes merged, and she's one of the few people who can actually spar with Hiro. She's a bit of a hothead like Zeus is, though, so it's a miracle how THEY have gotten along. Regardless, Jay took Zeus just out of earshot, although she looked almost excited about something? He wonders what questions she had, but last week's lessons were about summoning magic, which was not Hiro's area of expertise. Actually, Jay and Zeus had been talking in private pretty often, and Hiro wasn't entirely sure why. There was something off about what she had said to get him over, but…
"Phew! You're the best. I'll be sure to return the favor later."
"Haha… Anytime?" Zeus seemed a little dazed as they walked back, but not completely out of it. Hiro had seen this before, was she raking him over the coals about something?
"Ah, damn! Look at what time it is! I gotta run, but I'll see you guys tomorrow!" And just as swift as she arrived, Jay sped off into town, giving them a wink and a wave as she disappeared into the packed streets.
"... And there she goes."
Zeus gave a relieved sigh.
"She can be such a damn thorn in my side, I swear!"
"What was all that about, anyways?
"Oh, uh, she just had a question about one of the summoning formulas. She said she couldn't read my writing." Zeus' ears had turned red again, and he scratched the side of his nose. Hiro knew instantly that he was lying, but decided against pursuing why. He felt a pit form in the bottom of his stomach, and wasn't sure where this anxiety was coming from.
"What, were you afraid she was asking me out on a date or something?" Unbeknownst to the both of them, Zeus' joke was right on the money.
"Absolutely not. Nobody would want to go on a date with you, King Kook." Hiro turned on his heels and walked into the café.
"Hey!! At least wait for me, Hiro!"
The inside of the café was just as beautiful as the outside. Exposed dark bricks juxtaposed a large window that let in tons of natural light. There were still string lights that had ivy intertwining with them that hung from the ceiling, likely giving the building a soft glow in the evening. The black metal tables and chairs furthered the overgrown modern city aesthetics as well, seeing as though the rest of the place was almost covered with plants. The two took a seat at a booth closer to the entrance, which had even more wisteria growing around it. Contemplating the menu was tough, as everything on it sounded amazing. They eventually decided to split a large brunch platter while getting separate drinks. Zeus ordered a cranberry and ginger ale soda, while Hiro ordered a blue raspberry ice cream float. Zeus made a snide comment about Hiro wanting something so sweet early in the day, and Hiro quickly shut him down by making fun of choosing to willingly drink ginger ale. 
"I can see why Jay likes this place already, though."
"Oh, yeah. This is totally up her alley. I feel bad for the people with pollen allergies, though."
"Well, there was a sign saying that all of the plants here are on a strict pollen watch, so unless you touch one, you should be fine."
"Huh! I totally missed that."
"Well, the sign was as small as your brain, so I can see why you missed it."
"Ouch. I take you out somewhere nice, and all I get in return are insults? I'm hurt, Hiro."
"You make it sound like I can't go somewhere on my own."
"Never said that. All I'm asking for is a little gratitude when I take you out somewhere like this!" Zeus jokingly stuck his nose in the air and crossed his arms. Hiro chuckled.
"Fine. Thank you, my liege, for allowing me this humble opportunity to dine with you." 
"Eugh. You sound like your dad."
"Ask and ye shall receive."
"Very funny." Zeus started taking out his camera, then went up to the hostess to ask whether or not it was okay to take photos, then headed back to the booth.
"Did they say yes?"
Zeus grinned, slinging the camera's strap around his neck. "Yep. They even asked for one." He held the camera up and took a few photos of their immediate surroundings, trying to get a close up of the flowers around them. Zeus found a lot of beauty in the wisteria around the two of them, but also made sure to snap a few pictures of Hiro as well. Hiro doesn't mind at this point, since he's so numb to Zeus' antics. Zeus looks down at the last picture he took, which was of Hiro candidly staring out the window, with the flowers casting small shadows over his face. He was beautiful, and Zeus smiled at the photo.
"Are you done yet?" Hiro turns his attention from outside to the server bringing them their food, and giving the server a small thank you as he grabs the plates and immediately goes for the fruit salad bowl and picks out the honeydew.
"Uh, never." Zeus retorts sarcastically as he starts to put the photos in the special photo holder he put in his satchel earlier, but leaves one out so he doesn't forget to give it to the hostess before they leave. He then reaches for the honeydew that Hiro has been picking out. "Are you done with that fruit salad? I might want some fruit other than your leftovers, you know."
"Touché." Hiro sets down the small bowl and moves his attention to a few slices of toast and the small pile of scrambled eggs. He takes some of the eggs and places it on top of the slice of toast after he butters it and takes a large bite, and his eyes widen at how good it is. Hiro doesn't always get to eat it, and is reminded of how breakfast food rules. The toast is perfectly crispy, the butter is soft and flavorful, and the scrambled eggs are surprisingly creamy. Zeus holds in a chuckle when he sees Hiro's expression. It was like he was a little kid again, and it's… not a look Zeus gets to see very often. He thinks about taking his camera out again to take a picture of Hiro, but his stomach is overruling that idea. 
Two drinks, half an hour of small talk and banter, and the entire platter of food later, the two begin to settle from their meal. When they get to the last few bites, Hiro speaks up and asks the question that's been lingering in the back of his mind.
"So… What else did you want to do today?'
Zeus half chokes on his mouthful of bacon. "W-well… Did you want to do something else today?"
Hiro gives him the look. "Don't play coy. You said to Jay, and I quote, that you 'wanted to get a bite to eat while we were out'. You have something else planned."
"Ugh…" Zeus swallows and hangs his head in defeat. "You're too sharp sometimes."
Zeus turns his head away from Hiro shyly and averts his gaze as his cheeks shift softly to pink. "There's… There's a fireworks show tonight. I thought it would be a nice surprise if we went, since we have the day free 'n all."
Hiro was stunned. He's not used to Zeus actually thinking out surprises like this. His mind flashes back to his birthday "gifts", like the Eastern Dragon, the Laughing Frog, and then the cards that he and everyone else made him. He still has those, actually. Then it hits him: there was no way he thought of this on his own. He's way too stupid.
"... You could have just asked me to go, then. I would have said yes." Hiro sighs and rests his face on his right hand. He averts his eyes from Zeus.
"That completely defeats the purpose of it being a surprise, idiot."
"Whatever. What time does it start?"
"Uh… 8, I think."
Hiro then looks at the clock on the wall of the café. It's 1 p.m. already, so they have plenty of time before then. Hiro puts the last few bites of hash browns in his face and chugs the rest of his float.
"Well, as lovely as this place is, we can't stay here forever. We have time to kill, so where else do you wanna go?"
Zeus also downs the rest of his soda and covers his mouth when a burp escapes him. "Why don't we go shopping?"
Hiro's eyes narrow. "You really want to spend more of your allowance?"
"I can do what I want!"
"Fine, but if your parents cut you off, it's not my problem."
"Nah, mom wouldn't do that. Dad only would if your dad says he should, and that hasn't happened yet."
"Uh huh. Sure."
The two collect themselves and their items once they're done paying for their meal. Zeus leaves them a generous tip and hands the photo to the hostess, who smiles and thanks him for it. As they leave the shop, a petal from the flowers outside gets picked up by the wind and lands on top of Zeus' head. Hiro chuckles and picks it off, which makes Zeus laugh as well while they make their way towards the shopping district. 
The city of Gedonelune is always bustling with people, and the shopping district is no different. Sometimes it feels like there are as many shops as there are people. People from all over the world come to sell their wares in the capital city, from magical items, to clothing, even to rare magical creatures in some unsavory places.
Hiro watches the people that go by like a hawk - as there is never a time where he is allowed to relax from his duties as a retainer. After all these years he's spent by Zeus' side, Hiro has thankfully only had a few run-ins with “ne'er do wells” and “rogues” who would wish him or his family harm. In fact, most of the time they are both stopping a cut purse here or there. Hiro never likes the danger it poses to Zeus, but he knows that Zeus is a capable wizard in his own right. Zeus never has to worry while he’s out, unless Hiro isn’t with him.
As the two galavant around the town, Zeus has them stopping in almost every shop on the main strip. Clothing stores, magical items, jewelry, you name it. Hiro feels himself growing more tired with each and every department store he gets dragged into, but Zeus appears to be having the time of his life. Not spending as much as Hiro thought he would, but the clothes he tries on and the items he admires sparks a small well of emotion in him. It’s like Zeus is a kid in a candy store, and Hiro finds that almost… cute. 
“Hey, Hiro!”
Zeus’ shout snaps Hiro back to reality. 
“Hm? What is it?” Hiro rubs one of his eyes and yawns. Then he notices the absolute massive pile of clothes in the royal’s arms, and sighs as he knows what’s coming next.
“I’m going to be in the dressing rooms for a while. Feel free to roam around, though - this place has some great stuff!” Zeus’ grin is almost mischievous, like he knows he’s going to take a while. Hiro shifts his gaze to the racks to humor the other man. None of the clothes in here are his style.
“Maybe I will. Don’t take too long, though. You’ve been dragging us so… HAAAAAAUUHHH… long that it’s already 6:30. If you want good seats for this mysterious firework show, we’ll want to be there early.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll only be a minute, mom.” Hiro’s eyes narrow at that comment. “Don’t fall asleep on me, though! I don’t want to have to wake you up from that. You’ll sour the whole thing.”
“Uh huh.”
As Zeus zips into the dressing room, Hiro immediately flops down on one of the very comfy looking couches that are in front of the room Zeus has camped inside and spreads his weary legs and takes a deep breath. He leans his scabbard on his chest so it’s not as uncomfortable to relax. He fiddles with the charms on the hilt of his sword, but it doesn’t take long before his exhaustion catches up with him. He hangs his head down and closes his eyes, the noises of Zeus in the changing room and the faint music from the speakers in the store drowning out as he falls asleep, and dreams of a memory.
☆☆☆
Fifteen years together, and things are a little crazy right now. 
Playful whispers and quiet laughter fills the hallways of the Brundle estate. It is homecoming night of two boys’ freshman year in highschool, and they have definitely been up longer than they are supposed to have been. After dancing their hearts out at the dance itself, there was a party hosted by a senior that included probably too many things that would be considered dangerous for slightly sheltered teenagers, so of course they had to partake in a little bit of it. Only a little so their parents don’t get suspicious, but certainly enough to have a little unsupervised fun. It’s very late in the night as the two return, although not unexpected from their parents. Hiro’s father, of course, protested such a late curfew, but Zeus’ father overruled it as “Hiro will be with them, Spring of their Youth”, and a whole lot of other things that swayed the stoic retainer into a more lenient state of mind. 
Zeus, of course, ended up being the more popular of the two boys, both at school and the party. It happened almost on day one, even. Puberty was hitting the two boys particularly hard - and boy did it his Zeus like a truck. Hiro became more known as Zeus’ shadow, and is mildly popular by default for it. Zeus could never tell if it was because people actually liked him, or if they wanted to get in good graces with his family. He found it all rather shallow, but didn’t mind the attention nonetheless. Both at the dance itself and the party, girls (and some boys, even) lined themselves up for a chance to simply talk to the young royal. Hiro didn’t like any of it, but he was enjoying himself at least a little bit in seeing Zeus be so popular. Hiro kept towards the back, but rarely left Zeus’ side. Or, at least a 30 ft radius of him. He participated in some of the games that were going around, but he doesn’t really remember all of what was said, or even what was played. He does remember that a senior spiked the punch with alcohol at some point, which he immediately noticed. Zeus, thankfully, managed to grab his last cup before it was spiked, so he didn’t have to drink any of it. Some of the seniors tried pressuring him into doing so, but Zeus really knew how to shut that kind of thing down. He never caught on to the fact that someone spiked it, though, Zeus just thought they were being weird. It also helped that Hiro shot a searing glare at anyone who persisted, and was quick with his magic when others tried to add a little extra into Zeus’ drink. Other than that, the boys had been enjoying their time, mingling with the others and staying out way later than they should have. When the time comes for them to leave, the two are in a daze over their first real, actually peer-ran party. No adults, just people their own age. It was exhilarating, but also exhausting. The two flew on their hoverboards all the way home, speeding down the quiet, dark streets of Queensblade as the cool night breeze brushed against their smiling faces.
The way Hiro remembers the way home is a little hazy, but he does remember having to sneak into the manor and running through the hallways, Zeus’ hand on his as they work their way through the lavish halls. Moonlight spills through the large windows, yet Hiro only has tunnel vision for the boy in front of him. Everything else is a blur of dull golds and silvers, colorful paintings and vases become splotches of color as the faint candlelight lights their way through the halls. He can’t tell if it’s the small taste of freedom he had at the party, or if he’s just a little too sleep deprived, but his focus on Zeus is just… different, than what he’s used to. Like he can’t explain it. Maybe it was because he had to focus on him all night, he thought. 
The two eventually find their way back to Zeus’ room, and the two immediately collapse on the young royal’s bed, awkward hands still intertwined. They’ve been doing this quite a bit now, holding each other’s hands. It always feels so natural between them when it happens, too, as if they don’t even have to think about it. Always in private, though - never in front of others. 
Hiro can barely remember how the conversation started, but he remembers where it ends up. It’s not something he could ever forget.
“It’s so strange. Are… parties always like that? That was so different from any of the ones we’ve had here.”
“I know what you mean. It felt like a different world out there. It’s really, really weird.”
“Yeah… But, ugh, some people were being so weird about the punch at the end there. ”
“Hah, yeah… I never expected anyone to actually spike it.”
“What.”
“What do you mean, ‘what’?”
“Someone. Spiked it? As in, like, drugs? Did I almost eat a drug?!”
“No, you moron! Alcohol. Likely vodka, I think. I don’t know, something that’s clear and works fast, I guess.”
“Uuuuuughhhh. No wonder why people wanted me to drink more of it.”
“There were quite a few people out to get you for that.”
“Yeah, don’t think I didn’t notice that part. Although…”
“Hm?”
“I guess… no, nevermind.” Zeus’ grip tightened on Hiro’s hand. 
“Go ahead, say it. You can tell me.”
“It’s just… I dunno. There were a lot of upperclassmen there, and a lot of them seemed to be weirdly into me. I just thought, you know… If something were to happen between, you know, me and one of them…”
“That’s… a weird thing to think about when some of them were definitely trying to get you drunk off your ass.”
“Hey, to be fair, I thought they might have been trying to be nice! And you know, some of them were kinda hot.”
“Oh my god, you CANNOT be serious!”
“But what if!!”
“What if nothing!” Hiro lets go of Zeus’s hand for the first time in what must have been over an hour. He leaps up from the bed and stands in front of Zeus, arms crossed and now looking very sternly at the other boy. “What could you possibly hope to think about the ‘hot’ people who were trying to take advantage of you?!”
“Okay, well let’s say, hypothetically-” Hiro narrows his eyes. Zeus sits up, starts to sweat and can’t meet Hiro’s eyes. “If, for some reason, they weren’t doing that, and, uh… You know, if, maybe… Maybe something happened between us…”
“Zeus.”
“I don’t know, I guess I’m just nervous that because I haven’t DONE anything, uh… You know. Romantic? S-sexual?” Hiro softens his gaze, and drops his arms. “If… If I made a fool of myself, and then they told everybody about it…”
Hiro sighed and sat back down. 
“You… really are an idiot.” Hiro’s face flushed at the idea of Zeus being… “together” with anyone else. He doesn’t know why he feels that way, but something deep inside of him felt like it would be wrong. He also doesn’t know why he says what he does next.
“You could… you could always practice with me, you know.”
It was hard to see in the dark bedroom, but both of their faces had turned as red as can be. Zeus looked so shocked at Hiro, and Hiro was so sure that he had just ruined everything. He doesn’t even know why he said it! Did he even mean it? Was it even okay for him to mean it? All of these thoughts rushed through his head.
“Uh…”
And there it was. “I-I’m sorry. I…” Hiro felt his world crashing down. Out of sheer embarrassment, he turned away from Zeus and curled up into a ball. He felt his head and heart pounding. Silence fell in the bedroom for the first time, and Hiro hated every second of it. Hiro contemplated just getting up and leaving right then and there, but he could barely move. 
“Do you… mean it?”
Zeus’ soft, almost eager voice was the first to break the silence. 
“I… don’t know. I…”
“Hiro. You can be honest with me, too.”
“I… I want to be.”
Zeus reached a hand out and placed it on Hiro’s shoulder. His hand was gentle, nervous, even. “You want to be?”
“I just… Would it be okay, you know, if I said that I did mean it?” Hiro barely understood what was happening with him. What has come over him? And why now? What the hell is so different for him to be so bold with the person who he cares most for? 
“I-I don’t think I’d be okay with anyone else, weirdly enough… So, u-um… Yes. Yes, I, uh, think that it, um, would be okay.” Zeus turned his head away, his face still flushed as he spoke. 
Hiro shifted his body to once again face Zeus, his eyes wide. Were those tears he felt, as well? Hiro’s face was too hot to feel anything, and it was too dark for Zeus to tell. 
“I… okay. Yeah. Okay.” Hiro wiped his warm cheeks, just in case. He has never felt so relieved in his life. Even if this is just for the night, even if they both forget it by the morning, or act like it never happened, Hiro won’t forget it. 
The room fell silent once again, the two boys avoiding eye contact. It was awkward. Very, very awkward. Somebody had to break it.
“Do you want to practice now?” 
Spoken in unison, they turned to finally look each other in the eyes, almost fearful of the other’s answer. 
“Oh- Uh..”
“No, no, uh, sorry…”
“No, no it’s okay! Um.” Hiro took a deep breath. “Hoo. Okay. Okay. Let’s just, uh, start over.”
“Y-yeah! Okay. Starting over. Right now.”
“Yup. Right now.”
Hiro took another deep breath, this time making a motion with his arms to center his breathing, much like his father taught him before. Zeus copied him, then took Hiro’s hands in his own, holding them as if he was holding a treasure. 
“Okay… Hoo.” Zeus was staring hard. “Hiro, w-would you like to practice… now?”
Hiro nodded, shifting his eyes to his and Zeus’ hands for a moment.  “Alright. U-um…”
“W-what is it?”
“I-I… I’m going to kiss you now.”
“Right now?”
“Y-yes! Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be!”
“I-I’m not trying to!”
“Well talking isn’t making it any easier!!”
“Well then just do it already, you idiot!!”
“Argh, just, shut it!” Zeus moved his hands and cupped Hiro’s cheeks, moving his face closer to Hiro’s. Hiro closed his eyes and braced for impact.
When their lips finally came to meet, it wasn’t great. Zeus just kind of pressed his lips on Hiro’s and stayed there for a little while. The only other sound in the room was their heartbeats racing. After a brief moment, Zeus pulled away, still keeping his face close to Hiro’s, foreheads almost touching.
“U-um. How was that?”
“... You could use some work.”
“What do you mean, use some work!? I’m doing my best here!”
“Here, look.” Hiro grabbed Zeus’ chin, adjusting his jaw so Zeus’ lips would be slightly parted. “Keep your lips slightly parted. Relax your lips, you’re way too tense.”
“You make it sound like you’re an expert.” Zeus huffed. 
“Hush. Now, when you kiss, offset your lips from theirs just a little.” Hiro was nervous, but leaned in again. “Like this.” This time, with Hiro taking the lead, it was much better the second time around. Well, better for two kids who have never kissed anyone else in their entire lives aside from pecks on the cheek for family. Pulling away for small breaths here and there, the two kept “practicing” for… quite a while. The kisses did get better every time, and the one kiss turned into 10, 20, what must have felt like 100. If this were a cheesy teen romance movie, this would be where the camera circles around them with every kiss. Their kisses also got sleepier over time as well, the two climbing on each other and back fully on the bed. Their hands wandered never too far down, but just enough to either keep balance and to gently hold the other when the time called for it. The two eventually found themselves laying down, bodies entangled so tenderly and innocently. It wasn’t long until the two eventually got worn out, and started drifting off to sleep after a long night. By the time morning would come, Lord Tachibana would not find his son in his own room. By the time morning would come, this would be first and last time doing anything like this. No more practices.
Hiro laid on Zeus’ chest, arms grasping Zeus’ shirt softly, Zeus’ arms wrapped around Hiro, one hand intertwined in Hiro’s soft raven hair. It feels as though this was a dream, one Hiro doesn’t want to wake up from.
☆☆☆
“OI, HIRO!!”
And then he does. 
“Yeesh, it’s about time! I’ve been trying to wake you up for, like, five minutes now!”
Hiro peeled his eyes open much like he did when he woke up the first time today, his face a grimace from being woken up so harshly. 
“Good.” He growls as he sits up, rubbing his eyes. “Are you finally done?”
“For your information, technically yes, but it’s already 7:45! You have been asleep for over an hour!”
“And you’ve been in the dressing room for over an hour?!”
“Details details, we have to go!” Zeus grabbed Hiro’s wrist and pulled him up, practically bursting out of the shop. Hiro had to act fast or else he was going to lose his sword in the store.
“Ack- Zeus! Will you slow down?!” Zeus’ hand was still attached firmly on Hiro’s wrist as they darted through the darkened Gedonelune streets, the street lamps lightly lighting their way as the sunset starts to fade on the horizon, pink and orange clouds dancing above them as they ran.
“No way! If we slow down now, we’ll miss it!”
“There’s going to be more than one firework, you moron! Jeez, where are we even going, anyways!?”
Zeus didn’t slow down, though. He led him through several alleys, trying to avoid running into other people as much as possible. Street lamps started to brighten, and they were almost a blur as they rushed past all of them. Zeus eventually led them to a point that was almost on the outskirts of the town, a small, cute little park with a large fountain in the middle. Clearly this wasn't a popular spot for watching the fireworks, because there was hardly anybody else there. Having ran what felt like a marathon, the two boys were breathing heavily as they finally got a chance to rest. Zeus flopped right in front of the fountain, spreading his arms and legs out. Hiro bent over, using his knees to support his upper body so he didn't fall over, before realizing that sitting was a very good idea.
"You… are so… fucking lucky… that we… are both in shape…" Hiro could barely speak between deep, hitched breaths. "If you ever… make me run like that… ever again… I will cut off your legs."
"You… would never…" Zeus grinned at Hiro, despite his entire body feeling like it's on fire. "Your dad… would kill you… if I ended up like mine." 
Hiro didn't dare give that a witty comeback. He just decided to hit Zeus square in the stomach with the scabbard to his sword. Zeus let out a big "OOF" before clutching his stomach in pain, and then laughing. Hiro was way too tired to laugh, but he did let a small chuckle escape. Before he knew it, Hiro was doing his usual scans of the area, looking for anything or anyone suspicious. He didn't see anything just yet, but he got the strange feeling like there was someone watching. Not maliciously, but…
[BOOM]
The sudden explosion of the first firework of the night startled Hiro. He looked to the sky, and there it was: a shimmering red firework. Next came dazzling showers of golds, greens, purples, and blues. Shaped like flowers, cats, and even some like stars, each and every firework that went off seemed to dance upon the twilight sky of the city. Somehow, that idiot managed to pick the perfect spot. This was the perfect place to watch them - and the two were far enough away so that way they didn't have to worry about the sound of the fireworks blowing out their eardrums.
"See? We made it just in time!" Zeus peeled himself off the ground and sat next to Hiro on the fountain's edge, brushing his cardigan off as he sat. "The rush was worth it!"
"I'm more amazed at how you found this spot. It's perfect." And very unlike Zeus, Hiro thought. There was no way he thought of this on his own.
"Isn't it? I saw this park in a little brochure not too long ago, then I saw where the fireworks were being lit… then BOOM! Great idea!" Zeus beamed, placing his hands proudly on his hips.
"Mmhm." Hiro does not remember seeing any kind of brochure like that in their room at all. 
Zeus started taking out his camera for the second time (at least, to Hiro's knowledge - god only knows what he was doing in the dressing room), trying to focus on getting the perfect shot of the fireworks in the sky. He took a few unsuccessful ones, which he was saddened by. Hiro just kept his eyes on the sky, but occasionally stole a glance at Zeus whenever he would make disgruntled noises. This was nice. Zeus eventually got the kind of picture he wanted, then turned his attention to taking a selfie with Hiro. 
"What are you doing?" Hiro rested his head on one of his hands.
"Come on, just one picture of us!"
"I think you've already taken enough pictures of me today. I saw you taking some at the café." 
"This is different!!"
"Wha- how?!"
"Because I didn't get one of us! Totally different. Now shut up and smile!" Before Hiro could get another word in, Zeus was already smiling at the camera, making a peace sign with his other hand and snapping a photo. Hiro sighed once he was done.
"You are incorrigible." 
"Ooh, five points for such a big word!"
Hiro glared daggers at his liege, quickly doing a partial draw on his sword and flashing the blade to intimidate Zeus.
"Yeesh. Tough crowd." Zeus put his photos and camera back into their respective cases in his bag, carefully switching it with something else. Hiro didn't see what it was, but Zeus did like fidgeting with random things in his bag.
After a few moments, something started eating at Hiro. It had actually been eating at him all day, but this was the first time he spoke out loud about it.
"Zeus. Why did you really want to go out today?"
"... Whaddya mean, Hiro?"
"Look, Zeus. I've known you for longer than I'd like to admit. You're not exactly yourself today, and I don't know why."
"Pretty sure I'm the same as I've always been."
Hiro straightened his back and sat up properly. "No, you're not." He chided as another gold and blue firework lit up the sky. "You've been acting weird all day."
"Yeah? How so?"
"Well, for starters…" Hiro stood up, crossing his arms as he turned his attention to Zeus. Zeus knew this pose well. Hiro is about to get on his soapbox.
"Not only did you 'just decide' to go out into town today, you deliberately hid the fact that you wanted to watch these fireworks."
Another boom echoes. Zeus is looking at the ground. 
"Next, you have a very weird and secretive conversation with our good friend Jay that leaves you practically speechless." 
Another. This time in reds and silvers.
"You want to go shopping, yet I didn't see you spend a single damn lune! Which I have never seen you do!"
Four booms at once.
"And you were in such a rush to get here, when any other place in the city could have done just as well! Seriously, Zeus, did you think I wouldn't notice?"
Another. Zeus meets Hiro's intense gaze sheepishly. "Hiro, I…"
"You what? Seriously, are you okay?" 
"Yes, I'm fine!" Zeus stands to meet Hiro's height. Hiro was always a little shorter than Zeus. "I just… I need to ask you something, Hiro." This was a look Hiro had not seen on Zeus' face in years. Only in a memory, now.
"I just… I don't know how to ask it right."
"You don't know until you try."
"I know, I know! Hoo. Okay." Zeus slapped his cheeks to recenter himself. He then looked Hiro right in the eyes as he spoke.
"Hiro, what do you think you are to me?"
Hiro was stunned, to say the least. He gave Zeus a thousand yard stare before he could even think of a proper answer.
"I, uh…"
Another boom. Blue and red this time.
"I-I'm your retainer. I'm the one that keeps you safe. What else am I supposed to be?" Hiro couldn't look Zeus in the eyes anymore. He was really blindsided by that question.
"Go on."
Another boom. Blue and red again.
"What do you mean, 'go on'? I don't understand…" Zeus reached a hand out to place on Hiro's shoulder. Hiro brushed it away.
"I… I think you have more to say."
"Zeus, if this is another one of your jokes, it is really not funny. I really don't know where you want me to go with this."
Another. Green and blue.
"I just want you to talk, Hiro."
"Talk about what?! You are my liege. I am your retainer. I keep you safe, you pay me. Actually, you don't even do that." Hiro turned away from Zeus. What does he even tell Zeus anyways? That he has been traumatized by his father's teachings and that is preventing him from truly becoming close with Zeus as they age? That he has feelings for Zeus he can't even describe because he's never asked anyone else about them, nor has he ever felt them towards anyone else? 
Four more booms, all blue and green.
"I am your retainer. How many times do I have to say it, you idiot?! I am your royal shield, nothing more." Why did he feel his eyes welling up? Why is his chest burning again?
"... Is that really how you feel?"
Hiro nodded. Another boom. Blue again.
"I know my place, Zeus. I don't know how you haven't learned yours yet."
"Hiro." Zeus reached out and grabbed Hiro's wrist. No escape this time. 
"W-what?!"
"... Do you know what I think you are to me?" Hiro didn't answer and kept his face hidden from Zeus. Another boom, red flowers.
"You are the most irreplaceable person in my life. You are the one that is always there for me, whether I like it or not." 
"... Because I have to be."
"I don't believe that. If you didn't want to be here, you'd be watching over Lulu and Belle." He was right.
Another boom, red and blue flowers. 
"Hiro, you are more than a retainer to me." Zeus tightened his grip on Hiro's wrist. Hiro could swear that he could hear Zeus' heartbeat. "You are my best friend, my partner in crime, my most trusted confidant."
Zeus walked around Hiro so he could see his face. Zeus was taken aback by the tears welling in Hiro's eyes. Zeus cupped Hiro's cheeks with both of his hands, drawing himself closer to Hiro. Hiro's heart was about to burst.
"I need you to understand how much you mean to me, Hiro. I'm sorry that I'm not great at saying it out loud or expressing it, but I mean it!"
Another boom, purple flowers.
"You are not my royal shield, Hiro. You are my royal treasure. My hero." Zeus' cheeks flushed a bright red as he spoke. Hiro didn't notice it before.
"You… You absolute moro-"
Before Hiro could finish his sentence, Zeus' lips were on his. 
Another, all blue and gold. 
This wasn't practice, this was… real. When Hiro got over the initial shock of what was happening, he was hesitant to kiss back. He was scared, but, against his better judgment, let his guard down for the first time in years and wrapped his arms around Zeus's neck, pulling him in closer. Zeus deepened the kiss when Hiro did this, and Hiro let him. The tears that had been welling in Hiro's eyes finally escaped. The burning in his chest turned to butterflies, almost as if they had finally been freed from a lifetime of captivity. When they finally parted, both of them were out of breath for a moment. Zeus rested his forehead on Hiro’s, still gently holding Hiro’s face in his hands.
“...Are you sure you’re feeling alright? Was that… practice?” Hiro muttered through trembling lips.
“Hiro, I am completely fine. That wasn’t practice.”
“But why all this? Why now?”
“I… don’t want to bring it back into the light.”
Hiro had already had a guess for what Zeus meant. 
“... You can say it. I don’t mind.”
“Are you sure?” Hiro nodded again. “Okay…” Zeus was still blushing, but he looked at Hiro in the eyes once more. Zeus always loved the golden brown color that they were.
“When I was… In that coma, during your prefect trials…” Hiro hit the nail on the head. “I had a dream. I had a dream where you died instead of me. You were covered in so much blood, and I could barely even live with myself.” Hiro remembers staying by Zeus’ side every day and every night he was in that coma. He remembers Zeus stirring in his unconscious state, sometimes they did seem like he was having a nightmare… “I… saw your funeral. I had to console your mom, tell your dad that you died doing your job like he wanted, Kureha didn’t even speak to me. My family was constantly by my side, asking and making sure that I was okay. I had to spend the rest of my life without you. It was hell, and I don’t ever want to live like that ever again, dream or no dream.” 
Another boom, reds, blues, and golds.
“... I think I understand.”
“But do you understand how important you are to me?”
Hiro felt more tears falling down his cheeks. Not like he could do anything to stop them. Hiro swallowed hard before speaking. “It’s… hard for me to. You are such a moron, and I…” 
“Hiro, forget everything you’ve been taught for a minute. What do you want? How do you actually feel?”
Hiro blanked for a moment. Another boom, all gold. He tried clearing his mind, taking the time to think about what he wanted for a change. He thought about all of the years they’ve spent together, all the times Hiro had protected Zeus, all the times they just… had fun together. He reminisced on his own feelings, and he tried so hard to figure out what it was he had been feeling throughout his entire life. The burning in his chest, the static he would get every time they touched, how he was always so calm and how everything they did felt so natural, so right. 
Another boom, gold and red. 
And then it hit him. He finally connected the dots, how did he not realize this sooner? 
He’s been in love with this idiot his entire life. 
Another boom, purples, blues, and golds. 
“I..” Hiro’s voice was almost a whisper as he spoke. He still wasn’t comfortable saying it out loud just yet. “I-I think that… maybe… I just want to stay with you. For a long time.” 
Zeus wiped the warm tears from Hiro’s eyes. “I think you can do better than that.” He grinned.
“Shut up, you idiot! This is difficult enough as it is; I can’t just let go of the mindset that’s been drilled into me since I was born! What else are you expecting me to say?!” Hiro took a small step back from Zeus, moving his hands and placing them on the royal’s shoulders. He averted Zeus’ gaze once again.
Zeus ran a hand through Hiro’s silky raven hair. Another thing he hasn’t done in years.
“I want you to say that you love me, too.”
“...What?”
“I love you, Hiro Tachibana.”
Another boom. Blues, whites, golds, and reds. 
Hiro froze. He didn’t know he needed to hear those words, but they broke him in all the right ways. Hiro felt his knees go weak, and his composure simply lost. He fell to his knees, clutching the bottom of Zeus’ cardigan, his face red and stained with even more tears now.
“Hiro…” Zeus knelt down to meet Hiro once again, getting to an equal height once again. The young royal grasped Hiro’s hands with his own, removing Hiro’s hands from his cardigan and holding them in his hands so, so gently. Zeus had never seen Hiro like this - was he being too forward? Was this too soon? Did he misunderstand everything about their relationship?
“Y-you don’t have to say it back, actually. We can just… take our time. Yeah, at our own pace! So please, don’t cry…”
“Y-you are such… a moron…” Hiro choked out through stifled tears, wiping his face on his arm to try and wipe away the tears that just wouldn’t stop coming. 
“I have… been… in love with you… for years.” Hiro tightened his grip on Zeus’ palms. “Every day of my life, it feels like. I… I can’t bear to think about you not being in my life. I was so beside myself when… when the fierga…” 
“I know.”
“I don’t think you do, Zeus! You are my whole goddamn world! You want me to say it, so I’m saying it!” He lightly punched Zeus with his left hand, nothing unusual for him. “I’m so fucking in love with you it hurts! It hurts me because I didn’t think we would ever go past what we always have been! I thought…”
Zeus didn’t say anything. For the first time in a while, that is. He simply listened.
“I thought that you would never love me back. I always assumed that you’d fall in love and get married to some girl, or your parents would marry you off to some noble, and I… I would just get tossed to the sidelines like I always have. Like the rest of my family always has.”
Hiro punched him again, a little harder this time. Another boom, purple and gold once again. 
“I love you so much, Zeus. So, so fucking much.” If you told him 10 years ago, when they were just kids sparring under the midday sun, that he would be in love with his best friend, Hiro wouldn’t believe you. Zeus used his newly freed hand to wipe Hiro’s tears once more, tenderly grazing his thumb against Hiro’s cheeks. He then grabbed the back of Hiro’s head and brought their foreheads together once more. Hiro had never seen Zeus so gentle. He was always so boisterous, loud, and so full of life that it sometimes annoyed him. Hiro always expected Zeus to just make a big, vibrant showing out of his love- he never expected such a muted confession. 
“I love you too, Hiro. More than anyone.”
“... Can you kiss me again?” Hiro asked sheepishly. 
“Of course.” 
This kiss was so much more gentle, so much more loving, so much softer than any other. Hiro once again pulled Zeus in closer, one hand around the back of Zeus’ neck, mirroring the one Zeus had on his own. This second kiss felt like it was too short, so they went in for another one. Another. Even more. A kiss for every year they missed being like this, as though they were making up for time lost. Zeus wrapped his free hand around Hiro’s waist, supporting his weight as they leaned deeper into every kiss. This was a dream, or it felt like it, at least. 
By this point in time, the sky had turned completely dark, but the streetlights and fireworks were still gently illuminating them as they embraced. This almost felt like a dream, much like the one Hiro had earlier. How was it a memory and a prophetic dream all at once? He will never know. Time seemed to stop for them in this wholesome, private moment of their own. Everything was falling into place, and this was only the first step towards the rest of their future. More fireworks boomed in every color of the rainbow behind them. Hiro’s tears finally subsided.
When they needed to catch their breath, they just stayed in place, not saying anything - basking in their newfound intimacy. Zeus pulled away first, reaching back into his bag and pulled out a small, velvet box. Hiro looked confused at first. He’s seen the box before, but he always thought it was just a case for Zeus to put his rings when he was washing his hands. Instead, Zeus hands the box out for Hiro to take. 
“I, um, also got this for you, too.”
“Uh…”
“Just take it!”
Hiro did. “Am I allowed to open it?”
“Wouldn’t be much of a gift if you didn’t, now would it?”
“Heh.” Hiro fidgeted with the box for a moment, tracing his fingertips on the velvet before properly opening it. 
Inside was a gorgeous, thick banded silver ring with a light blue sapphire stone the exact color of Zeus’ hair inlaid in the center. On the sides of the ring were their constellations - Scorpius on one side, Capricornus on the other - and raised filigree of the same lilies that always adorned the Brundle estate’s table centerpieces. Hiro took the ring out of the box, in awe of the attention to detail put into it. He then saw the etched wording on the inside of the ring.
“For my hero.”
“... This is moving a little too fast, Zeus.” He was such a cheeseball, Hiro thought. He almost started to cry again.
Zeus’ eyes widened, and then he started to panic. “N-no, wait!! This is NOT what you think it is!!”
“What the hell else am I supposed to think when you give me such a nice ring, idiot?!”
“Just, argh! Look!” Zeus pulled out another, similar ring from his bag and held it out for Hiro to see. This one, while similar in size, was golden and had a beautiful black opal inlaid. It also had the same constellations, but had cherry blossom filigree instead. 
"I'm not proposing, okay?! I mean, I would still like to, you know, one day, but not right now! They're just, um…"
"... More like promise rings?"
"Y-yeah!" Zeus scratched the back of his head, almost reflexively. Hiro smiled and put the ring on his right ring finger. 
"This is still all… very sudden. But thank you, Zeus."
"It's… no problem." Zeus smiled back. He loved Hiro's smile, fangs and all. The only thing Zeus ever wanted to do was to see it. Zeus placed his own ring in the same spot.
Hiro shifted his body and scooted closer to the young royal, resting his head on Zeus' shoulder. Zeus put his arm around Hiro immediately, allowing Hiro to take in even more of Zeus' insane amount of body heat. They sat and watched the fireworks for a small while, silent once again. Simply enjoying the moment and all that it entailed, the fountain bubbling softly beside them. 
"... How did you know?"
"How did I know what?"
"How did you know I would reciprocate? And why me, for that matter?"
Zeus sighed. "I pour my heart out, confess my love, and you still need more?" Zeus brushed some of Hiro's bangs out of his face. 
"You are going to have to get used to it. I'm not even close to being done with interrogating you."
"Well, for starters, you're not exactly subtle."
"The hell does that mean?"
"Hiro, do you remember when we went to our first homecoming dance? When we were still teenagers?"
Hiro froze. Was he fucking psychic? "... Remind me."
"Heh, gladly. When we got home, I was sooo damn insecure. I was like, 'ohh my god, I'm a virgin, what if those hot upperclassmen try to seduce me and figure out I haven't even kissed anyone!'"
Hiro chuckled at Zeus' retelling. "Yeah?"
"Yeah! And do you remember what your reaction was?"
"Blocked it from my memory."
"You said, and I quote: 'You could always practice on me, you know'. I nearly fainted!" Zeus always had a spot-on impression of Hiro. 
"Hm. What else?"
"What else? We then made out for like, the next two hours! You even made fun of me for kissing you horribly."
"You could use some work." 
"Like THAT! That is the exact same damn thing you told me that night, too!"
"Sounds like you haven't gotten much better these past 8 years, then!" Hiro laughed at his own joke.
"Oh, shut it! It's not my fault that my coach was incredible and then decided to never teach me again."
"You are so not blaming me for that."
"I think I can!"
"Uh, no. You were the one who decided to act like it never happened ever again."
"... We just got busy, that's all. We didn't get much time to be alone after that."
"Zeus, we've been roommates for the past four years. We have had plenty of time."
"It's totally different! What was I supposed to do, just walk up to you and say 'Hey Hiro! Not sure if you remember the happiest day of my life, but can we practice kissing again? No homo, full bi!' Absolutely not."
Hiro snorted at the "no homo", trying to contain his laughter.
"Besides, you seem like you've been really annoyed with me these past few years. I was hardly even sure that this," Zeus waves his hands around, gesturing to the both of them, " was even going to work. I have been nervous about this for weeks! I didn’t expect you to be such a crybaby about it, though."
“Who the hell are you calling a crybaby?!” Hiro couldn't deny it, maybe he has been just a little too mean to Zeus. Not like he's going to stop any time soon, but maybe he'll make it clearer that it's just banter. 
“Regardless, why me, though? You still haven’t answered that.”
“Coulda sworn I did. But, sheesh, you sure know how to make me talk.” 
“It’s my specialty.”
“Uh huh. Suuuure.” Zeus adjusted his grip on Hiro’s arm, then used his free hand to hold one of Hiro’s, intertwining their fingers like they did so many years ago. “If I’m being honest… It’s always been you, Hiro.”
“What do you mean?”
“Hiro, we’ve pretty much always been together. I’ve always loved you, I think. I’ve done a lot of thinking about my ideal partner, and who I wanted to marry. Hell, I thought about the kind of person you would like best, because I knew you’d still always be by my side.”
Zeus raised his free hand and placed a kiss onto the back of Hiro’s. What a dork.
“Eventually, it just all came back to you. Every road, every thought, just back to you, every time. Plus, I wanted to keep my word.”
“...Your word?”
“Well, yeah. I told my mom I wanted to marry you when we were kids, right? I actually had a conversation with her when we went home last, and she was still holdin’ on to that. She kept asking me when I was going to propose, the nerve!”
“Oh, my god.” Hiro covered his mouth with his free hand, trying really hard not to burst out laughing. Lady Brundle is hilarious. 
“Hell, even Kureha butted in on the conversation and asked me when I was going to ask for ‘permission to wed her precious baby bro’! I nearly lost my mind, I tell you!” 
“Wait a minute, even Kureha knows?!”
“Are you kidding me? She was like, the first person to see that we were so stupidly in love with each other, even before we knew it! And boy does she not let me forget it.” 
Everything started making sense, now. Kureha’s torture of Zeus was her being a protective older sister. The witch was testing him all along, making sure that Zeus knew exactly what he was getting into. 
“Oh. Oh, it’s all coming together now. That sneaky little…”
“Right?! She’s going to be so happy when we go back and see them next time, I bet.”
“I don’t think my dad will be, though…”
“Won’t know until we go back and tell ‘em. I think my dad will convince him that it’s not a bad thing, though.” 
“Ugh, yeah, your dad is quite convincing. I still don’t know how my dad keeps falling for his bullshit.”
“You can’t survive being head of a prominent noble house without having a silver tongue, I guess.”
Hiro squeezed Zeus’ hand, smiling softly as more fireworks danced in the sky. This was nice, Hiro thought. 
“You know, I’m still not convinced you thought of all this by yourself.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?! Am I not allowed to be romantic?”
“You don’t have a single romantic bone in your body, moron. Who was it that helped you with all this?”
Zeus muttered under his breath, turning his head away in a huff. 
“Zeus.”
“...ay.”
“What was that? I can’t hear you.”
“It was JAY, okay! Are you happy now?!”
Even more dots started connecting. Hiro practically jumped away from Zeus, his normally tired eyes wide with surprise. 
“OUR Jay?!”
“Yes, OUR Jay! She told me about the fireworks, the park, hell, she even coached me on what to say to you, and how to respond. She was a fucking demon about it!”
“I cannot believe her. Is that what you were actually talking about earlier? I knew you were lying to me about what you were talking about, but I didn’t even begin to imagine it would be THIS.”
“Ugh, you really are too sharp for your own good. Yes! She was reminding me to ‘shut the fuck up for once’. We went over the plan, and she reminded me about everything she taught me. Quite harshly, might I add!”
“Sounds like Jay, alright. How long has she known?”
“For about three weeks. That’s when I got the rings made.”
“Oh, so those were your idea. Didn’t think you had it in you.”
Zeus scoffed. “‘Course they were! I was actually planning on giving it to you for your birthday, but then Jay told me about the fireworks, and I just, kinda… let it slip to her. She was crying even harder than you were when I told her! Going on and on about how she’s ‘so happy I finally realized it’ and that ‘she’s been trying to wingman us the entire time she’s known us’, and a whole bunch of other shit.”
“Bet you twenty lunes that she’s going to start crying again when we tell her your plan was a success.” 
“Oh come on, that’s not even a fair bet! You know for a fact she will.”
The two of them laughed again, thinking of how silly everything had been. The two enjoyed the rest of the beautiful fireworks together, and began to start walking back to the academy once it ended, hand in hand the entire time. When they left, Hiro could swear that he saw a faint flash of white hair in the distance behind where they had been the whole time. He decided to ignore it, for better or for worse.
They talked extensively on the way back to their dorms, thinking about how each and every one of their friends would react to the news. They came to the conclusion that they weren’t going to tell everybody just yet, only a select few. Lucious was definitely going to be the first to know, although they knew he was going to make fun of them endlessly for it. The path back to the academy was peaceful, with only a few other students making their way back to the academy as well. It was too dark for anybody to see them at this point, so they simply ignored them. They knew they still had prefect privileges, so it isn’t an issue for them to still be out so late, but they still snuck their way across the dimly lit grounds. When they finally reached their dorm, they both shared a bed for the first time in years, and also the first time so intertwined. No matter where they went, they would still be able to give themselves private, intimate moments. Perfect moments that would be in their memories for a lifetime. 
This was their new beginning. Starting over in this way wouldn’t be easy, but loving each other is the easiest thing they’ve ever done.
☆☆☆
Twenty eight years together, and things are about to change for the better.
News of the young royal’s wedding was heard across the continent. People all over came to see the wedding, with many people wondering who the heir to the Brundle estate was to marry. 
Many close friends of the grooms’ were in the wedding party, of course. Lucious was Hiro’s best man, and Jay was to be Zeus’ best woman. Caesar, Alfonse, Liz, and even Klaus were a part of the party as well. Kureha was of course by Hiro’s side as well, and Lulu and Belle were dual flower girls. Jay cried the whole ceremony, and so did the boys’ mothers, of course. Especially when Hiro’s father started walking Hiro down the aisle. All of their other classmates and family members were in the front rows, who were hooting and hollering every chance they got. 
Their wedding outfits were nothing less than extravagant, of course. Zeus’ was in a dark navy suit, adorned with cream colored cuffs and lapels. The same lily filigree on the ring he would be wearing for the rest of his life inlaid with delicate gold embroidery. He also had a large, fur lined cape that draped across the floor, the fur white as sparkling snow and the fabric a deep black on top and red on the inside, the crest of Queensblade adorned on the back. Hiro was dressed in traditional Hinomotan wedding attire, a black silk montsuki and gray hakama with silver cherry blossoms embroidered at the hems. His haori was also black with the same cherry blossom embroidery as the hakama, and the Tachibana family crest adorned the back of it. Hiro’s father had helped him get dressed, of course. Small words were whispered to Hiro by his father before letting him go, telling him how proud he was. Words not often spoken, but appreciated nonetheless. 
Their vows were soft, heartfelt, full of emotion. Many spectators were surprised at how the young royal was marrying his retainer, which was simply unheard of until today. Many of the noble women and their daughters wept over the fact that they now knew they had no chance at marrying into the Brundle royal family, as the two men’s vows made it clear just how much in love they were. So many photographs were taken, and Luca was specially commissioned to do a painting of their ceremony, which still hangs above the mantle of the Brundle family estate. 
The reception was an absolute rager. Hiro and Zeus of course out-ate everybody, easily eating three plates a piece, not including the cake (of which they ate one of the tiers all by themselves). There was plenty of dancing, singing, and genuine merriment for all who came. Hiro and Zeus had the time of their lives, surrounded by the people they love most. 
“I still can’t believe this is finally happening.”  Lord Brundle gazed softly from the sidelines as his son danced. 
“Finally? What do you mean, my lord?” Drink in hand, Hiro’s father settled next to his liege. 
“Oh come now, old friend! Don’t tell me you haven’t seen this coming since they were children!”
“And you’re telling me you have?” 
“Of course! Why do you think I always let them sneak off during my speeches?”
The look on Sir Tachibana’s face was one for the history books. Lord Brundle immediately burst into a hearty laughter. “Oh, oh dear! Don’t tell me you never noticed!?”
Sir Tachibana’s face turned bright red. He turned his face away from Lord Brundle in embarrassment. “My focus has always been on you. I never falter from my duty.”
“Well, you certainly faltered in your duty as a father.” That comment got a searing glare from his retainer. “Oh, you know I jest. You’ve raised splendid children.”
“I should hope so. I’m proud of him.”
“Hm, that’s not the impression I got.”
“No, I am. It’s… not the outcome I expected, but he followed his heart. I think, in some way, he even taught this old dog a new trick.”
“Oh? And what is that, exactly?”
Sir Tachibana stared at his son, softening his expression. A small smile crept upon his lips.
“When he was young, I think I was too harsh on him. I always told him to stay firm in his resolve. I told him that keeping his distance was best, as I had done with you. He ignored every single word I told him…”
“And that’s a good thing?”
“I didn’t think so at first, no. In fact, I was furious.”
“As you always are.” Another glare as Sir Tachibana takes a sip of his drink. Lord Brundle gave a smug grin in return.
“Anyways. I was upset at first. I nearly lost my temper, in fact. But Hiro was so honest and true to himself… Once I saw that, I realized that I was wrong.”
“Oh?”
“Hiro taught me that the best way to protect someone is to love them, not distance yourself from them.”
“Aw, warmed your cold heart, did he?”
“Must you continue to chide me, my lord?”
“Oh, you know I only tease. I’m simply glad that you’ve come around to it.”
“Of course. I was going to one way or another.”
“I knew you were. It’s a shame you realized it now. If you had realized it sooner, then maybe things would have been different between us.”
“Wha- Milord!” Sir Tachibana’s face flushed a bright red. 
“ Ha ha! Another jest, dear friend!” Lord Brundle slapped a hand on his retainer’s back. 
“... You are truly incorrigible, my lord.” he grumbled. 
“Only for you. I’m just looking forward to seeing where they’ll go from here.”
“How so?”
“Zeus is about to take over the family, you know. He’s always lived his life to the fullest, so I’m wondering how he will fare as a Lord. He may be as charismatic as I am, but he’s never been… The smartest, if you will.”
“You don’t need to tell me twice. Well, Hiro will be with him, so I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
“... I’m sure he will.”
☆☆☆
150 years together, and they are both long gone.
A young man with stark white hair travels the world, finding himself in Queensblade for the first time in a very long time. As he tours the vibrant streets, he finds himself entranced by the markets and dazzling flowers that lined every corner. He asks for directions to the Brundle estate, and gets a very quick answer. He buys a fresh bouquet of lilies and cherry blossoms, a now common pairing in Queensblade, on the way as a gift. 
When he arrives at the gates of the Brundle estate, things are not like he remembers when he went to the wedding so many years ago. Not like that wasn’t to be expected, of course - it has been well over 100 years since then. A gentle breeze tosses his long, braided hair as he approaches the northern garden - a newly added garden compared to the other three. The gates to the Brundle estate are always open - at least, the one leading to the northern garden is. The paths leading to the actual estate are closed to the public for safety reasons, courtesy of the Tachibana family. 
The garden is as gorgeous as the rest, and seems to be more of a mix of the western and eastern gardens. Gorgeous marble paths, roses, and cherry blossom trees adorned every corner, and many stone gazebos and benches allow for many people to rest as they stroll through the garden. A large pond with many artificial waterfalls spreads throughout the garden as well, with many Hinomotan and Queensblade styled bridges going over them. Massive butterfly koi float all throughout, and there are a few stands that are filled with koi food so they can be fed. As a result, they are very friendly. The white haired man leans down over one of the bridges, putting one of his hands in the water. The koi swarm him, and he chuckles at the sensation of their toothless bites. He makes his way towards the center of the garden, where a large, bronze statue resides of his old classmates. Others have already come and gone with their offerings, leaving very similar flowers to the ones he had already bought. As he approaches the center statue, he is stopped by a young woman with raven hair and golden eyes.
“Oh, are you also here to pay respects?”
“Yes, I am. Are you of the Tachibana family?”
“Good guess! Indeed I am. How do you know of my ancestor? Or are you just another history buff?”
“Oh, no, nothing of the sort. My… great grandfather was a classmate of theirs. They were kind to him, and he attended their wedding.”
“Oh, my! You have quite the connection, then.”
“They weren’t close by any means, so I’m sure I’m not as lucky as people like the Goldsteins or the Baroques.”
“Regardless, I think it’s wonderful that your ancestor got to spend time with them. Lord Zeus and Lord Hiro were some of the most influential people in the history of the Brundle and Tachibana families. I’ve heard many stories of Lord Hiro’s devotion growing up.”
“Well that is wonderful to hear. I’m glad to hear that my ancestor was able to be a part of the lives of such influential people.” The young man places the bouquet at the foot of the statue, and clasps his hand in prayer. There are two plaques that adorn the base of the statue. 
“I’m glad it is. Oh, well, I should be going now! Thank you for sharing your story with me. Please don’t hesitate to come by again!”
“Of course. I would love to stop by again.” 
“Oh, what is your name? I would love to put you on the list of special guests for the yearly public gala.”
“... Leon.”
“That’s a nice name. I’ll make sure you get on the list. Thank you, Leon! I hope to see you there!” The young woman ran off towards the main estate, waving goodbye as she did. Leon waves back, a small smile on his face. He’ll have to remember the gala, as now he has something new to look forward to.
He focuses on the plaques, finally able to read them. A soft smile appears on his face as he reads, thinking of all the shenanigans his former classmates got into while they spent their days at the Gedonelune Royal Magic Academy. 
“IN REMEMBRANCE OF 
ZEUS BRUNDLE
and
HIRO TACHIBANA”
“Here, on this day, we dedicate this statue to Lord Zeus Brundle and Lord Hiro Tachibana. Innovators for their time, Zeus is remembered for his exceptional leadership of the House of Brundle, leading it to a new age of prosperity unlike any had seen before. He is also remembered for being a pioneer of summoning magic, as his formulas are still being taught in schools to this day. Despite his grandeur, he never hesitated to call himself the ‘pinnacle of all things, alive or dead’. 
His husband, Lord Hiro Tachibana is remembered for his unyielding devotion to his husband, even before the two were married. He was Lord Brundle’s stalwart protector first, and his most trusted partner second. Lord Tachibana is also remembered for being an instrumental figure in opening up the doors of trade with Hinomoto, his ancestors’ home country, and leading both our beloved Queensblade and Hinomoto to having a wonderful relationship and economy. He is also known for being one of the best swordsmen in the history of Queensblade.
It is said that the two were hardly seen apart, and their love was stronger than any diamond. With Lord Brundle’s charisma, and Lord Tachibana’s wisdom, the two lead the country into a great era. 
Even in their old age, their love persisted. Surrounded by many friends and family, they both passed away within one minute of each other, conceding as though one could not live without the other.
Here, they stand to remind us not only of the great times our country has had, but also as a symbol of true love.
–Donated by the Goldstein, Baroque, and Abbey Families of Gedonelune–”
Leon clasps his hands together and says a small prayer for his old classmates before he puts his hands in his pockets. He glimpses up at the statue once more, fondly. As he leaves, he hears the sound of two children behind him. He twists around and sees two young boys, no older than 5. One with bright, crystal blue hair, the other with the same raven hair as the woman he met before. 
“Come on, we’re going to be late!”
“Ah– wait, please! I can’t run that fast!!”
Leon smiles once again, and turns around to continue his journeys.
Those kids will be just fine.
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seiwas · 4 months
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home by daughtry reminds me of deku in the most he-wouldn't-do-this-but-it's-the-life-i'd-want-for-him kinda way 🥲😭
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#my 'if only' song for him#can you just imagine.#if he chose to be kinder to himself and dropped everyone else#if he chose to be SELFISH#if he just CHOSE HIMSELF for fucking once#'i dont regret this life i chose for me'#bc he doesn't and he never will but just. imagine him throwing the towel in and saying aight im done like#he's done enough. IMAGINE IF HE FINALLY FEELS LIKE HE'S DONE ENOUGH. if he finally BELIEVES he's done enough#'these places and these faces are getting old' to every passersby every civilian every new person he's met for those few fleeting minutes#loving deku is knowing and accepting that you'll never be first#and youve come to terms with that over the years but it doesn't stop you from hoping he puts HIMSELF first for once.#you dont mind being third or fourth or WHATEVER#then you get the call#and he tells you he's coming home#it's not something unusual; he usually does that at the end of a shift or a trip or a mission or a meeting#but this one sounds different. a little more emotional. a little teary and sentimental. he sounds like he's gonna cry#and you can't tell if he's happy or sad but he tells you he's coming home#he doesn't say until later on that it's from signing closing contracts and retirement papers#bc after all this time he FINALLY feels like he's done enough. and that he can come home now. to you especially#and he's still a little sad don't get me wrong!!!!!! but it's relief and excitement and sorrow and guilt all in one and#GOSH IF ONLY#this is why deku is at the top of the list of writers i am HELLA reluctant to write for lmao#characters*****#there's SOOOO much to unpack#i talked so much again#TRULY MADE MYSELF SAD#anyway back to writing atsumu
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the-kipsabian · 5 months
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#hmm its been an interesting week i suppose#very busy in a good way. but that is always how it starts. i make myself so busy and it feels good and then i wobble and fall out of my body#so im feeling wary. also bc ive been under sleeping more than ususal but im not really tired but im also not boiling out of my skin with#energy. i just feel ok. so thats good. but also a demon in the back of my head is always like: then stay up all night. lets see how far we#can push this. which is not good. and in fact ive been proscribed like basically emergency mood stablizers to knock me out if i start like#losing my mind and not sleeping lol. bc i dont wanna b getting ready for something big and like completely unavailable to control my#ability to think. and ive also been proscribed birth control to get a handke on my fucked up hormones. so we'll see if that makes things#less all over the place. hopefully it works bc im so busy i kinda dont have time to like freak thr fuck out#but i am a lil apprehensive bc like i can count on my hormones to make me feel things when a lot of the time i dont have much emotional#range. so its like fuck finally i can cry abt this. or like fuck this is so beautiful. but then i also cant function sometimes#so i guess i just gotta see what happens. sigh. also the typical frustrating in having to read so much. like ppl hear im dyslexic and r like#oh do u want accommodation? like literally wtf r u gonna do to help me as a grad student? it just takes an agonizing amount of time to#understand thing. i have my computer read to me and i suffer. theres literally nothing else to b done abt it. and fucking next week i have#to teach a fucking lab abt reading scientific papers. they have to read a paper in class. fuck off. those r the types of exercises that make#me feel so fucking stupid. like do this thing right now. read it right here and answer questions abt it. and i fucking read it and retain#fucking nothing. im fucking 26 and literally in my grant writing class i have to apologize to every person before i give them feedback like#lol sorry i can barely fucking read. i fucking cant understand language. its fine but it sucks. theres nothing to do abt it. it just makes#me mad i have to teach a class that would have made me cry as an undergrad. so ill prob hold their hands thru it more than the other TAs#will. bc fuck u im not making them read a whole fucking paper in class. fuck u#plus the frustration of not being able to express myself well in thr moments. like theres a delay in my brain so i feel so dumb when im#trying to convey myself off the top of my head. like give me time and ill write it all out for u i just cant actually process wtf ur saying#to me. also i probably spaced out for a sec so i missed part of the convo lol. frustrating but at this point its just how it is. it makes me#more empathetic when i have to teach i guess. like listen ive got all kinds of fucking learning probs i just wanna help u learn something#how can i help? fucking dyslexia. god. i dont wanna prep for class this weekend. ive gotta show up like yea i kno reading papers is hard at#first but it gets easier! fuck u. its worth the suffering if i enjoy to topic but its always suffering. but thats what i get for going into#academia. thr dr who proscribed me stuff was like well sounds like u have a stress trigger and ur a phd student where life is stress... u#gotta figure out whats gonna work for u. sometimes thats a career change. not in like a pushy way just like: if what u do makes u suffer#then wtf r u doing? and hes got a point. but in contrast to what i was doing this is a massive improvement#well see if its manageable. ugh. i just wanna draw#unrelated
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rucow · 1 year
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sorry ive been so inactive on here lately (and everywhere else tbh), i have a lot going on irl right now and i havent had the motivation to rly work on any art or writing this entire month 😔 but hopefully after things calm down i'll get to draw again 💔
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I will not cry over something stupid I will not cry over something stupid I will not c
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babyboybuckley · 1 year
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Ok I would like to say something but it's a bit heavy so I'm gonna say it in the tags
#alrighty... this time last year i was rapidly approaching my lowest point#i had a broken down car my housemate was pulling away from me as her mental health stabilised and i truly wanted to die#i remember stealing razorblades from our carton cutters at work because somehow the shame of that was less than the shame of buying them#and i was using them to hurt myself#but as of tomorrow i will be 1 year self harm free#and i have so many people to thank for that#my friend who answered the phone and let me come and sit on his couch#when i was crying and knew that if i went home to an empty house on june 16th i was going to try and kill myself#but i reached out and was able to surround myself with love#he called another friend in between me calling and me arriving#so i would have more people around me#the friends who let me come over whenever even though they have such busy lives and are not necessarily social creatures#but they make sure i know i have a space on their couch or their guest room#its taken me a long long time#but i havent truly wanted to die in about 8 months#and thats a record#its been the hardest thing ive ever done#and i have fallen so often but the people around me pick me up#and now i am finally learning to live for me#finding joy in the small and the big things#celebrating whenever i can#i have a long way to go#but i genuinely feel like i can make the journey now#healing isnt linear but i feel like im looking back at the mountain ive climbed#and realising how steep it truly was#and no matter how treacherous the path ahead#the view from the lookouts will always be worth it#about me#my stuff#personal
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the corpse of king minos is very fucking big and Scary but you can parry his punches pretty easily and thats the easiest way i can explain how good ultrakill feels
#but even when the game is actually hard and kills me several times i dont feel like quitting?#i turn it off after 2 - 3 missions because thats the amount of time it takes for my body so get so Over Excited it stops aiming right#but i havent actually felt like ragequitti g#because the game just feels so good#i can ramble about how good ultrakill feels for HOURS bro#ramblings#switching between guns. the variants. coin tossing never gets old. accidentally exploding yourself with your own shotgun#fucking. SOUND EFFECTS#that too like when you parry. that sound?? makes my autism happy#THE SLIDING SOUND AOUGH#the fact that it does sound like ur made of metal but not in a bad screechy way that makes me want to cry#in a world where realistic movement physics are the norm having this much control. god#the witcher 3 is one of my favorite games ever. just as an example. but i DREAD playing that again knowing how walking around feels#yes sometimes in ultrakill you overshoot something because youre Fast but thats also just me needing to stand perfectly right for terminals#'look we have realistic physics' ok COOL BUT ARE THEY ACTUALLY FUN TO PLAY WITH#hyperrealism is impressive in videogaming YES but its also led to this monolith. in triple a#i do want to give credit where its due once i got used to the destiny warlock jumps (blink especially) that game felt really good too#but ultrakill doesnt force me to socialize and has a much more pleasant community so im fine where i am rn. actually#ive done all totk dungeons (I THINK) except for the final chasm and let me tell you. i dont want to fight any of those bosses ever again#why js that relevant? ive already beaten 1-4 twice and will probably go for my second 3-2 run tomorrow. THIS GAME. BOSSES. AAAAAAA#i love totk but those bosses were a fucking nightmare#thats gonna be a separate post
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robinsnest2111 · 2 years
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huh... the pipes running through my room are making weird noises. like. weirder than usual. Guess I'll keep an ear on that the next couple days. if a pipe bursts it'll just be like that I think. At this point I'm ready for anything.
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astrxealis · 2 years
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i am so excited to finally play final fantasy type-0. i literally know a few important plot stuff like the literal fucking ENDING but i am SO EXCITED
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა type-0 ໒꒱ *·˚#i compare the ending of type-0 to the weapons trial series in ffxiv. aka sorrow of werlyt#ifykyk :)) haha. HAHAHAHAH. haha. <//3#anyways i LOVE ace. he's the ace of my heart#i love type-0 man i love final fantasy so bloody much it is unreal#I WANTED TO PLAY TYPE-0 FOR SO LONG like any other ff game tbh but i knew for a while my aunt had it#but i never saw it from her but we came over like yesterday yeah? and!! yes !!! we borrowed it alongside like 5 other games#so i am so excited. i love type-0 you have no idea#for a while when i was esp into ffxv i read up on a lot of stuff bcs of yk fabula nova chrysallis i butchered the spelling sorry#so i was super interested in ffxiii too! and then spinoffs and sequels and etc... read up on ffx-2 sometime then#mind you i have ffxiii and ffx complete edition/s but 13 is on ps3 and it doesn't work anymore so sigh but i have 10#on both ps4 and switch! also i have access to 12 and 8 but idk bcs i don't have nintendo online anymore :((#i should finish og ffvii soon and hard mode of the remake. haven't done integrade btw. haven't played crisis core#and i haven't played any game below 7 but i am SO in love w them all too. idk 2 very well tho#aside from some stuff like wild rose! and firrion sorry i butchered up the spelling didnt i. anyways yeah <3#yoo i sang a bit of ashes of dreams rn and i'm kinda sick JUST AFTER MY BDAY CAN YOU BELIEVE anyways#yo i sing good when i feel nwell DAMN!#okay uhhh. time to play replicant (very soon) i am so excited#i will cry listening to kaine cuss weiss out
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shidoukanae · 1 month
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Paris Valerian but i redesign his dragon form for funsies based on how i see him=. Not sure if I like this design bc im not a fan of bulkier looking dragons but for Paris I think this works??
Some headcanons about this design:
has a bit of a bull-like look bc I associate bulls with persistence and madness and idk that fits Paris well so if Fian has a “fox” motif Paris gets a “bull” one for his dragon form 
His design is based a lot on how a stereotypically evil dragon would look???? Because imo OG!Paris reads as a massive antagonist and I think giving him a look that fits that vibe in his dragon form works!! Especially because he still is an antagonist in a way (though god does he not read that way lmao)
he’s stronger in his dragon form than Fian is and he uses this to his advantage to bully Fian around whenever they playfight as dragons. That said, it seems Paris is surprisingly gentle towards Fian in this form and never hurts him.
he uses this form to intimidate people into getting what he wants. He’s not used to getting retaliated against while in this form and quickly respects anyone who does so (read: Fian, Lyla and Helene)
the silver scales on his body can glow in the same way his eyes do. Typically, he keeps them dull-colored (see above) but if he feels a strong emotion of any sorts they’ll glow brightly without him meaning to (noticeably: they glow constantly whenever Helene is around for obvious reasons~).
#it hurts to see the person you like cry. but you wouldn't understand-#that Paris#TME#TME art#Paris being weak for Fian is so canon it's literally joked about more than once that they're unnaturally close to each other#i wish the manhwa/LN would elucidate more on the instinctive (and clearly qpt) bond dragons share with each other#and why that bond was overridden in the original story by each dragon's obsession with Helene when they'd yet to imprint on her#man i still remember reading about how Paris felt utterly alone once he awakened as a dragon and Fian coming into his life made him so happ#i still get teary over that passage in particular ahgjgjfgjjh that part of Paris's backstory hits where it hurts lmao#i also really wish the manhwa had included that about Paris because it really fleshed him out knowing that it wasn't that he bonded w/ Fian#that changed him but that he finally FINALLY had someone else who could understand him that made him happier in life and chill TF out#if you pair info given about Paris in the light novel with what's given about his manhwa self he's an amazingly well done character#like ive literally gone from thinking him cringe + unlikable to being deeply invested in and sympathetic to his character#also fun fact i find the idea of Paris and Fian playfighting as dragons really fucking cute#it's not in any way canon (well it kind of is actually lol) but i like hc'ing that awakened dragons need to spend social time together in-#their dragon forms doing shit like playfighting or resting together in order to live happier lives#and unfortunately this kind of qpt relationship is not understood by humans/mermaids/mages hence why Paris went absolutely mad pre-Fian bc#no one around him was capable of understanding the desperation he felt to fill the void in his heart and unfortunately he turned to Helene-#to fill that void to the point he went insane over her to the point he tried to completely monopolize her as a means to salvage himself#(which understandably pisses Helene off in the og timeline to the point it's no wonder she rejects him lmao)#and now that in Lyla's timeline Paris has gotten someone in his life who understands him and fills the void in his heart#he's more than capable of empathizing with Helene and seeing her as a person he wants to genuinely learn more about even if he can't quite-#shake his obsessive tendencies towards her#(which is really really REALLY fun to watch and i hope to see more development from his character)#(because i really do want him to reflect on Fian's words of when it comes to Helene)#(not that I think Helene would ever cry in front of him bc of him but she might do so because of Lyla)#(and god do i wanna see Paris eat his words about finding Fian's romantic-ness corny lmao)#yes i very much can write a whole-ass essay of a character study on Paris he's wildly fascinating#and he's so NOT my type which makes it even funnier that im as fixated on him as i am right now
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aso-bi · 2 months
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Me when I finally finish the commission I was k*lling myself over
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