#i am going to california in december it would be pretty iconic of me to get off the plane wearing this

[wiseatom]

got jump scared by mike wheeler at work today

[homoose]

Merry Christmas, Baby Girl

Summary: Just Penelope and Derek being in love in the snow. Based on the prompt: What kind of Christmas would it be if we didn’t play in the snow?

Pairing: Penelope Garcia x Derek Morgan

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: none

Word count: 1,444

a/n: Ficmas Day 9! Yes, my ficmas has two days of Penelope getting her man because that woman deserves the world and everyone in it and frankly it’s a hate crime that morcia wasn’t canon.

Series Masterlist

———

“Derek Morgan, this is not negotiable. We’re making a snow person.”

Derek sighed. “Baby girl, I moved away from Chicago for a reason. I don’t do snow.”

“Well, I moved away from California for a reason,” she huffed. “And we never get this much snow!”

She was right; DC never got this much snow— especially not in December. Sure, a few inches here and there in January and February. But this year, a freak blizzard had dropped over a foot of snow overnight. The entire city was shut down. It was the first white Christmas they’d had in years. And Derek had zero interest in going out in it.

“You go,” he said, gesturing with his hot chocolate. “I’ll watch from the window.”

“Uh-uh.” When Derek groaned, Penelope rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. An hour in the snow won’t kill you.”

“It just might,” he countered. She pulled her best pout, shuffling toward him with full on puppy dog eyes. He shot her a pointed look. “Don’t even.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist, looking up at him from underneath her lashes. “So… you don’t want to spend Christmas Eve… bundled up with the love of your life… wrapping a hand knitted scarf around a jolly snow person… who was brought into this world with love—”

“And who’s going to melt in twelve hours?” Penelope huffed out a breath, and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders when she went to pull away. He sighed into her hair. “... you get one hour.”

Penelope squealed and squeezed him tight, and Derek couldn’t stop the smile from turning up the corners of his mouth. “And only because I love you.”

She leaned up to press a quick, chaste kiss to his mouth. “I’m quite certain that I love you more. So much that I’ll even help you get bundled up.”

The two of them got dressed in their layers— two pairs of pants, long sleeved shirts, sweaters, and jackets. They laced up their snow boots and stuffed their hands into waterproof gloves. And then Penelope wound one of her ridiculously soft scarves around his neck, wrapping it once, twice, and then tugging him down by the ends for another kiss. He brought his hands to her hips, tugging her as close as possible through the combined six layers of clothing. His fingers tightened around his favorite part of her and she laughed into his mouth before swatting him with the fringe of the scarf.

“You will not get out of this with seduction, sir.” She tugged a matching beanie over his head, tapping on the little puff ball on top. “God, how are you so cute?”

He pulled her hat down a little more snugly over her loose curls. “I got it from my mama.”

She smiled at that. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Fran Morgan, thank you for giving me the love of my life.” She turned to retrieve a wicker basket from the entryway side table.

Derek eyed the basket, overflowing with miscellaneous items. “What’s all that?”

Her lips quirked up in a small smile, and she grabbed his hand. “You’ll see. Come on, hot stuff.”

They trudged out into the middle of the yard, and Penelope hemmed and hawed over the perfect location for far too long. When she finally decided, marking it with a little x, Derek leaned down to start scooping up snow. She waved her hands frantically. “No, no, no— you can’t take the snow from there.”

He furrowed his brows. “Well, excuse me. Then where am I supposed to get the snow from, pretty girl?”

She let out an exasperated sigh. “If you use all the snow from there, you’ll expose the dead grass, and then she won’t look good for pictures.”

“She?”

“Yes, she,” Penelope confirmed. “She’s going to be an icon and a diva, and I will not have her surrounded by ugly, brown grass.”

They spent the better part of an hour rolling snow across the lawn, each snowball growing in size until Penelope deemed it satisfactory. To her credit, she rolled the middle snowball entirely by herself, and Derek only had to help her a little in the lifting. Then, he worked on smoothing the base of their snow person, while she got the shape of the head just right.

Derek stood and dusted the snow off his knees, watching as Penelope retrieved the wicker basket from where she’d set it down earlier. She pulled a bright orange scarf out of the top and handed it to him. “Here. Bundle her up,” she ordered.

“Yes, ma’am.” He smiled and wrapped the chunky knit scarf around the head of their creation. She handed him a carrot, and he dug out a little starter hole before positioning the carrot and packing it in with some fresh snow. She pulled two brown buttons out of the basket, sticking them on as the eyes.

“Okay, make the smile with these.” She dumped a pile of red buttons into his outstretched hands.

As he pressed the buttons into a curve, he watched Penelope fasten three beaded necklaces and wedge in two large jewels for earrings. The snow might not be his thing, but Penelope Garcia certainly was. His god given solace, his compass, his ray of sunshine, his queen, his literal angel on earth.

They’d danced around it for so many years— each of them always with someone else or not ready to commit. The shameless flirting became their thing, something they just did that no one questioned. It became so routine that he missed the moment that their philia became eros. He couldn’t even call it falling, because with falling, there’s always a collision. Loving Penelope was floating—buoyant, ebullient, liberating.

When he’d finally pressed his mouth to hers that first time— really kissed her—after a horrific case that he almost didn’t come back from, he was worried that maybe he’d been too late. They’d said I love you so many times before, but he’d never said I’m in love with you, it’s only you, I’m ready for you, it’s never felt like this, you’re the sun and the moon and the stars all at once.

But then she’d kissed him back, and he hadn’t been too late, and she was with him. And everything and nothing changed. It was still all flirting, but this time they could back it up. And he really, really loved backing it up with Penelope Garcia.

She caught his eye and quirked a brow and brought him back to himself. He grinned and held his hands out at his creation, and she inspected it with a nod of approval. He could see that the basket was almost empty, but there were a few more items left. She pulled out three ornate gold buttons, pressing them firmly to the torso. “And the finishing touch for our snow diva.” Derek laughed when she placed the teal, feathered hat at a slight angle on top.

“She’s pretty incredible.” He tucked her under his arm and hugged her close. “Like someone else I know.”

Her arms snaked around his waist. “Mmmhmm. And don’t you forget it.”

“I could never.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. “But your hour is up, sweetness.”

“We have to get some pictures with her first,” she said, pulling out her phone. When he groaned, she continued, “And then, we’ll go inside, and I’ll help you get all—” kiss, “warmed—” kiss, “up.” She whispered the last bit against his mouth and gave him a sweet, sultry smile.

“I like the sound of that.” He tried to kiss her again, but she laughed and pushed him off, gesturing toward their snow woman.

“I’m sure you do, my love.” It was funny the way his heart still soared when she called him that, even though he’d heard it a thousand times. “Now, give her a kiss.” He sighed, but leaned down to pucker up next to their creation. He heard the shutter sound and stayed still for two more, well practiced in the art of posing for Penelope’s pictures. “Perfect!”

He held his hand out to her. She laced their gloved fingers together, and he tugged her forward, catching her when she toppled into him. Brown eyes met brown eyes, and then he watched as a snowflake fell onto her nose. He grabbed her phone, quickly opening the camera and snapping a picture before it melted. “Mmm, that’s a perfect photo.” He pressed a kiss onto the tip of her nose, right over the top of the snowflake. “Now, let’s go inside so I can kiss my real diva.”

———

some snow diva inspiration x x x

Permanent tags: @andiebeaword @averyhotchner @pinkdiamond1016 @shadyladyperfection @coffeeandendlesswords @justanothetfangirl @no-honey-no @ajeff855 @sapphic-prentiss @eevee0722 @rexorangecouny @rainsong01 @goldentournesol @blameitonthenight21​ @moviequeen51​

Series tags: @wastingborrowedtime @90spumkin @wordvomit-foryourmind

[tcm]

My Time with Doris Day: An Interview with Mary Anne Barothy By Constance Cherise

In 2012, Robert Osborne interviewed a spry 90-year-old, Doris Day. He, of course, asked all the correct questions a true Day fan would be curious about: when she realized she could sing, how her career in film began and did she consider her serendipitous life to be destiny. A vibrant and gracious Day revealed that she wasn’t nervous when it came to performing, and if you have seen her first film ROMANCE ON THE HIGH SEAS (‘48), her organic ease fits like the exact correct puzzle piece. 

Although she passed almost two years ago, fans the world over still celebrate her iconic status. One of those fans is a public speaker on all things Doris, author of Day at a Time: An Indiana Girl's Sentimental Journey to Doris Day's Hollywood and Beyond, Mary Anne Barothy. Her fortune ironically played out like a classic Hollywood script, much like the beginnings of Day’s career. A devotee of Day since childhood, threads of fate connected and Barothy would find herself rubbing shoulders with Hollywood's elite, astonishingly becoming Day’s live-in secretary, maintaining an active friendship from 1967-1974. 

What was a typical day with Doris like?

Mary Anne Barothy: I lived with Doris in her Beverly Hills home after her TV show [The Doris Day Show] filming ended - December 1972 and ran through June of 1973 on CBS. Her bedroom was just opposite mine in the back. Mine was the front bedroom. She slept with seven of her dogs, and I slept with the other four – Bobo, Charlie, Rudy and Schatzie. She would get up and come into the kitchen where I often fixed her breakfast. Doris loved her dogs and spent time playing with them both indoors and out. Many days she would get ready and bike down to Nate 'N Al's Deli for a late breakfast and many times would meet someone, or we would go together for breakfast. Doris loved her fans, and she was very good about answering her fan mail. 

As you know, her passion was animal welfare and she kept up with Actors & Others for Animals and frequently attended board meetings. I went with her and was also a proud member of Actors & Others for Animals. In the summer she would swim in her pool on occasion. She would call friends and once in a while meet someone for lunch or dinner. After dinner, sometimes we would sit in one section of her living room and watch the news. Doris was very down to earth; as I said, she was like a big sister to me. To me, this was an incredible dream come true! It is still hard to believe that I had this awesome opportunity to spend precious time with my idol, Doris Day!

The designer Irene dressed her in high fashion. Did she have a favorite costume/gown?

MB: She never spoke about that, but she looked good in a bathrobe. She just had a way of radiating, looking beautiful no matter what she had on. She always said CALAMITY JANE [‘53] was her favorite movie because she was kind of a tomboy. She never came across that way except for in movies, but she liked to be comfortable. She would ride her bike with shorts on and look very casual and comfortable. I always told her she could put on a paper bag and look good! 

Now that she's passed, what would she want the world to know about her if anything?

MB: She was a down to earth person and I think some people think celebrity is high and mighty because they are in the movies, and I'd say a religious person without talking about church all the time. She had a passion for animal welfare and that was very important to her and she'd been that way apparently since she was a young person. She just enjoyed life and her friends. She wasn't one for “I've got to be seen here and I've got to do this.” Her work was her work, she'd go to the studio to do what she had to do and that was it. 

Your book recounts so many extraordinary memories including that of a conversation with Elvis. If you had to choose one pinch-me moment, what would it be?

MB: When Doris called me and asked me to come work with her. The Christmas she invited me to stay. The fact that she trusted me was so special.

What was it like waking up in your idol’s home walking outside of your room and thinking I live here now?

MB: It was surreal because I wasn't just staying a night or two, I’m staying here to the fact that I changed my address over. It was all like a movie. Here I am, actually living with her! It was meant to be. She was like a big sister. She made me feel welcome.

Do you have any memorabilia? 

MB: I have some clothes she gave me. My favorite one is the hat she wore when she met me. She gave it to me and then another hat from a movie, a skirt, and top from THE GLASS BOTTOM BOAT [1966]. She gave me a ring and an autographed Christian Science book, and that is special. I’ve got many letters and cards she gave me over the years. (Barothy reads a card) “Thanks for doing your own Christmas shopping. I love you Mairzy Doats, you’re the best there is! Always, your friend Clara.” And on the other side, it says, “Merry Christmas from the kids too!” – the dogs. “Mairzy Doats,” she’d sing that once in a while. I’ve saved a lot of these things. Of course, when I do my talks, I use copies. 

What was Beverly Hills like then? 

MB: To me, Beverly Hills, when I lived with Doris Day in her home, was a much more  relaxed city, almost small townish. Doris could ride her bike from her home four blocks down to either Bailey's Bakery or the classic Beverly Hills deli, Nate N 'Al's on Beverly Drive. No paparazzi – that would never happen today. I would see Barbara Stanwyck and Fred Astaire at the Beverly Hills Post Office, saw Rosalind Russell at Ralph's grocery, and would see Loretta Young at Good Shepherd Catholic Church. People appeared to live pretty normal lives. Beverly Hills was a welcoming community and a fun place to be, especially since I was living with Doris in her home.

What would Doris think of the world today?

MB: I think Doris would be concerned about the direction we seem to be going in. Doris was a very religious person without going to church. I learned a lot from her. With people being out of work these days, I think Doris would be very concerned about the welfare of dogs and cats and all animals. As you know, she was a strong animal advocate and was one of the founders of Actors & Others for Animals. When she moved to Carmel, California, she started her own foundation, The Doris Day Animal Foundation, and animal welfare was her number one priority.

Looking back, does it seem like this all really happened to you?

MB: Yeah, it kinda seems surreal, and friends that are big Doris fans, just say, how did that happen? I just followed my dream and that is why when I give talks, I tell people to follow your dream, don't say oh I could have or I should have; if you really believe in something go for it. All I can say it was meant to be. I drove my parents crazy and drove my teachers crazy, but I got what I wanted. I never would have dreamed that all of this would happen. I mean talk about a dream come true...unreal! “It really happened, I'm not making it up, I’ve got pictures to prove it!”

What are your plans for the future?

MB: I look forward to getting back on the road again to share my “Dream Story With Doris Day” presentations. Due to the pandemic last year, I was not able to do them as people were in lock down. Now, things are opening up and I am doing Zoom but really prefer the in-person talks where I share many photos I've taken of Doris over the years, as well as scripts and other Doris Day memorabilia. It's a fun “sentimental journey.” People can contact me through my website. 

[ladyhistorypod]

Episode 6: Ask Santa to Bring a Vote for Mother

Sources:

Mabel Ping-Hua Lee

National Parks Service

National Women’s History Museum

Further Reading: Women’s Vote 100, 18 Million Rising

Delilah Beasley

California State University Northridge (CSUN)

New York Times

Huntington Library

Ohio History

KQED

Ida B. Wells

History Channel

National Women’s History Museum

National Parks Service

Black Past

New York Times

Chicago History Encyclopedia

Washington Post (Alana definitely did NOT cry while reading it)

Further Reading on race and suffrage: NPR

Attributions:

Dooley’s Address

“Your mother’s gone away to join the army”

Cheering Crowd

Click below for a full transcript of the episode!

Lexi: I started my internship at the Air and Space museum,

Haley: Woohoo!

Lexi: and the first day I am there, we have a live chat with a WASP expert who talks about Jackie Cochran and how Jackie Cochran might have been a racist. And I was like, there’s new layers to this story. And I know it sounds weird but I'm thrilled that this person might have been a racist but I'm just always interested to learn new things about people that I have known things about.

Haley: No I love when these stories come out and people are adding like the actual history part of it.

Lexi: the context, the history, the actual person’s views because we often just like glorify a figure.

Haley: And that’s a lot with the suffragists. This topic has it.

Lexi: But it's just so interesting because we often glorify these people. We can't accept that she did really awesome things by getting women into the Air Force but also did really shitty things by making sure Black women didn't get into the Air Force. So.

Haley: Yes. Exactly.

Lexi: But she did let in Asian women. There were apparently two Chinese American WASPs. I also learned that.

Haley: On a side note, can we– if we get reviews can we like read the reviews?

Alana: You wanna do a segment where we read reviews? 

Haley: Like every week being like– because we can do that as like our banter if we can't– and be like “our weekly review is…”

Lexi: Listener shout out. Here’s a review.

Haley: This person.

Lexi: Yeah.

Haley: Yeah

[INTRO MUSIC]

Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History, the good the bad and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. Coming to you virtually from my closet turned podcasting studio is Lexi. Lexi, if you were a single issue voter, what issue would that be?

Lexi: Probably bird– bird care, bird health, bird ability to exist, bird ownership.

Alana: Are you a birds’ rights activist?

Lexi: I am a bird rights activist.

Alana: And her face is partially hidden by my clothes but Haley, aka a Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots, is here too. Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots, it’s been two weeks since we last recorded and we already did one episode tonight, did ya think I’d forget?

Haley: I really was hoping you would forget. I did. I kind of– I keep forgetting it’s Sprinkle McPuss-n-Boots. I keep thinking it’s Sparkle or something. But like once in a while that’ll creep into my mind.

Alana (laughing): Lexi is losing her shit.

Lexi: Please contact us and direct your message to Haley using this title, please.

Alana: To Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots. And I’m Alana and please, god, register to vote.

Haley: My registering to vote has not happened yet because of the god damn DMV. And it makes me so mad.

Alana: I'm still registered in California. I haven’t switched.

Haley: I’m registered in New York.

Alana: But I might be moving in January, so… 

Haley: Back to California? 

Alana: No, in with Lexi. Hopefully. We haven’t talked about that.

Lexi: We’ll see.

Alana: We’ll see.

Lexi (stammering): GW?

Alana: That’s the dream.

Lexi: But, um… 

Alana: GW has to let me into school first.

Lexi: Yeah.

Alana: Okay, who's going first that's not me?

Lexi: Mabel Ping-Hua Lee was born in Guangzhou, China on October 7, 1897 so shout outs to her upcoming one hundred and twenty third birthday. Can we get some happy birthdays for my girl?

Alana: Happy birthday in the chat.

Haley: Happy birthday.

Lexi: Happy birthdaaay. I don't know how to say Happy Birthday in Chinese because, as is a common theme on this show, none of us speak Chinese, as you may know, as you may have knowledge of. But anyway. When Mabel was four, her father, a pastor, moved to the United States to work as a missionary and Mabel stayed with her mother in China. At the age of nine, Mabel earned a special scholarship which was called the Boxer Indemnity Scholarship. I'm unsure why it is called that. That scholarship she received, and it allowed her to obtain a visa and move to the United States, to go to school in the United States. And in 1905 her entire family relocated to New York City's Chinatown so that Mabel could pursue her education in America. There is no direct record of how Mabel got involved in the suffrage movement, but it is clear that through being a young, educated woman living in New York City, she was able to participate in activities being led by local suffragists. And then, Mabel was beginning to become a leader in the movement in her own right. In 1912, Mabel helped manage a parade for suffrage and she rode horseback; she helped direct the marchers from the parade starting point at Greenwich Village. Historical accounts suggest at least ten thousand spectators witnessed the parade which she led. Her participation in the suffrage movement led to another accomplishment: she was featured in the New York Tribune and The New York Times as a teen activist and icon of New York’s suffrage movement. That same year, Mabel started school at Barnard College, a women's school founded because Colombia was a men's only university at the time. She decided to major in history and philosophy. In college, Mabel joined the Chinese American student association and wrote for the Chinese students’ monthly paper. Her essays, such as “The Meaning of Woman Suffrage,” supported her fight for women's rights. In 1915, Mabel gave a speech for the Women's Political Union and was again featured in The New York Times her speech was called “The Submerged Half” and focused on the gender divide in the Chinese American community. She urged Chinese Americans to educate their daughters and allow women to participate in civic life. In 1917, women in New York earned the right to vote in their state. In 1920, some women were given the federal right to vote with the passing of the 19th amendment, but many women, including Mabel, still could not vote. Mabel, like many other Chinese Americans, longed for citizenship and voting rights, but they could not obtain either. They were restricted from gaining citizenship through the 1882 Chinese Exclusion Act. Mabel would have to keep fighting in order to obtain her right to vote. After finishing her undergraduate degree, Mabel earned her MA from Columbia's Teachers’ College and she later earned her PhD in economics, also from Columbia. She was the first Chinese woman to earn a PhD in economics. She also published her thesis “The Economic History of China.” Shortly after Mabel finished her doctorate, her father passed away. Mabel decided to take over his role as a church leader, becoming the director of the first Chinese Baptist Church of New York City. She also founded New York City's Chinese Christian Community Center, which offered courses in English and vocational skills to newly immigrated Chinese Americans. The center also provided health care and child care to the Chinese community. The Chinese Exclusion Act was repealed December 17, 1943, sixty one years after it was first enacted. The repeal of this act meant Chinese Americans could become citizens, and in doing so, earn the right to vote. Mabel passed away in 1966. No record of Mabel becoming a US citizen or exercising her right to vote exists. Scholars remain unsure if the girl who fought to retain the right to vote for so many other women ever even voted herself.

Haley: Wow. I love her. I know her from…

Alana: That’s really interesting.

Haley: I know her… Where do I know her from? Oh! A history book in high school. She was like briefly mentioned. And I get into this kind of like my background and women's suffragists that she's mentioned, then never again. And that that happened so many times in high school to so many different women. They just plop their name in, but not give like a history? Like I only knew Susan B. Anthony, and I thought Susan B. Anthony in my head did everything of the suffragist, or suffrage movement, as it was explained.

Lexi: I actually think it's really amazing your high school book mentioned her because currently, as of 2020, no K-12 education standard in the United States mentions an Asian American woman by name. So...

Haley: So let me… maybe it wasn't a book– let me rephrase this. My junior year American history high school class I remember her name coming up.

Lexi: That’s just pretty impressive that your teacher included something that was off of the course standards because–

Haley: She was a rad lady. 

HALEY’S STORY STARTS

Alana: Alright Haley, go for it.

Haley: So my gal today is Delilah Beasley. So born in Cincinnati, Ohio on September 9, 1876. She was mainly the kind of known as an Oakland gal. Shout out to the American Bookbinders Museum in San Francisco. That was my summer internship. I'm finishing, actually my internship up right now and she's one of the people I had to research for our exhibit that's online now but will be in like our gallery hall. And it's celebrating “Celebrating the 19th Amendment, Suffragists in Print” because it’s a printing museum. She’s from Ohio, but she's known in like the Oakland, Bay Area so she's a local gal, for our museum. And I loved like researching the local gals knowing that I wouldn't be in San Francisco all that long. But also it was really cool if you guys look on the actual exhibit– go, again, plug– the American Bookbinders Museum “Celebrating the 19th Amendment,” we have like maps of San Francisco and where all like the printing presses from like the suffragist movement were at and like I've been to that street! Like I know exactly that building, I've been at the like Jamba Juice or the Starbucks or the Gap that’s right there. So that's very super cool. So back to Delilah. She is known as a writer, columnist, activist, suffragist, and just overall an incredible human being. Before I want to highlight that, being a Black woman, Delilah Beasley is often overlooked when discussing women's right to vote and the suffragist movement. In her early life, she attended a segregated Cincinnati public school and by the age of twelve she had begun to write and publish short social notices in the local Black newspapers and some White newspapers such as the Cleveland Gazette and Cincinnati Enquirer. She continued to write at the young age, published in high school, and spent time learning about journalism by working for the Colored Catholic Tribune. In the 1880s– so again she was a teenager– her parents died and her siblings were separated. She had to leave her life of journalism and to be employed as a maid. As a maid, she also held so many different jobs and I couldn't figure out if she specifically was a maid and then left the job, or just had three jobs at one time. I wouldn't be surprised if she had three, four– as many jobs as she needed to sustain herself and her sibling. But some of those jobs included her being a hairdresser, hydrotherapy, medical gymnastics, massage therapy, nursing– and she never let go of that ideal dream of being in journalism. In her spare time, she would be researching Black history and becoming part of the thriving women's movement, especially within Black women and social groups. Some years later, she enrolled in history courses and began training herself in historical researching by visiting various libraries, diving into those archives that us as museum gals know and love, and conducting oral interviews with older Black residents and I believe there was one, but it could have been many– this article that I read noted one in particular about their personal experiences as a Black person growing up and living in the United States. And again this is late 1800s, early 1900s. She spent several years examining California newspapers between the 1840s and 1910s, both Black and White, at UC Berkeley's Bancroft Library. I believe that's still the university library today. She soon began lecturing on Black history and eventually published articles in the Oakland Tribune and the Oakland Sunshine. After nine years of intense research on Black history, Beasley published “The Negro Trail Blazers of California” which was all about Black pioneers who had largely been left out of history books, and the stories dated back to the early Spanish exploration of the United States. And honestly I did not hear about this book in history class. So, yes this is fantastic that this was published and was circulated, but our school system needs to do better and actually incorporate this rather than gloss over it. I’m gonna just say it; I'm gonna put it out there. In 1923, she started her own column “Activities Among Negroes” in the Oakland Tribune. She wanted to use her voice to highlight the achievements of Black Americans, support Black dignity and rights, raise awareness, and overall encourage forward movements towards building space for equality to blossom. And let's just put on another note: we still need to do a lot of work. Black lives matter. She would also travel to different newspapers and– major ones and small ones, the gambit– in the peak of newspapers and the suffragist movement to try to convince the editors to stop using racial language. And honestly I can just imagine her walking in with her own column and her own work being like “I did it, look at this. We don't use bad words. We aren’t offensive. If I can do it, you can do it. Let's all try.” Like she was very encouraging of… this is not saying this is wrong which, it is wrong, let's be clear about that, but more showing the right way to do it; putting it into a more positive perspective which, honestly, it's negative. Don't use that harmful language in your writing. Bottom line. Over the next two decades, Beasley would also serve as an active member of the NAACP, the Alameda County League of Women Voters, the National Association of Colored Women, and just so many different active groups for suffragists, women's education, Black women movement, Black lives, just in general. She's also the president of the Far Western Inter-Radical Committee at the Oakland Museum, which side note, this is a very inclusive museum. Like snaps to them; they are just amazing at getting their community as Oakland involved, just the community as the Bay Area involved, trying to be as diverse as possible. It's definitely on the bucket list of Bay Area museums and I was supposed to go the week after it closed for Covid, which is really depressing because I had two free tickets from one of my classes. We just got them from like a speaker. She came in with vouchers and was like “here are vouchers that I have” and I was like “I want that.” Anyway, I digress. Delilah Beasley continued writing her column “Activities Among Negroes” until her death in 1934. She's buried in Oakland, and I even did like the find my grave so that's available out there. Be respectful if you look it up and go. And I just want to leave you all with something she wrote which I think resonates with what we've been talking about as suffragist movement, recent months with Black Lives Matter, just like Delilah Beasley in general, truly just please go Google her; such an inspiring human. ““My life plus others make a peer to move the world. I, therefore, pledge my life to the living world of brotherhood and mutual understanding between the races.” Like, so simple. That's what I really kind of admired of her, and everything I had to write about her for the exhibit and just own research for this podcast going back. She was never a person– and this is seen in the suffragist movement– of you're wrong, I'm right.

Lexi: When I worked at the Smithsonian Libraries and was working on an American women's history project, she was on our short list of women who were being considered to be featured, but unfortunately didn't make the final cut.

Haley: There's a New York Times, I believe for my– look at the show notes everyone, don't quote me because I don't have my notes in front.

Alana: Lady history pod dot tumblr dot com.

Alana: So there is like– I'm looking at my notes, there is a New York Times I used, the Huntington Library and Art Museum. But for just even I usually type in Delilah Beasley museum. I do that for all my women. I see where they came up in museums. That also connects you to like history sources. National Park Service, libraries… and like I couldn't find like bios about her. It was more they were showcasing specifically Black women and suffragist movement or women's rights. Which is not bad.

Lexi: Well the library– the library was going to consider her because they had some of copies of the stuff she wrote. So–

Haley: Oh, that’s amazing.

Lexi: I think she comes up a lot in like how you found about her from a print type–

Haley: Yeah.

Lexi: I think she comes up in like books and writing based places.

Haley: That is definitely one hundred percent true.

Alana: Okay, so, I will be talking about Ida Bell Wells, or Ida B. Wells, her middle name and her last name rhyme and when she gets married actually which is really interesting is she doesn't change her last name she doesn't take her husband's last name. Which if your middle name and your last name rhymed, I would not… I would not change my last name either. Her name is Ida Bell Wells. So she was born in Holly Springs, Mississippi on July 16, 1862 into slavery, right at the height of the Civil War. She's the oldest of eight children and then after the war her parents became very politically active, like in Reconstruction Era, especially her father helps start Rust College which is a historically Black college in Holly Springs, it's still around today. And that is where Ida went for early schooling. And eventually she was may be expelled? I couldn't find anything to back that up but somewhere was like oh she got kicked out for starting some shit with the dean or something and I was like I don't see this anywhere else but interesting, okay? In 1878, she is sixteen years old and her parents and her youngest brother died of Yellow Fever. So she lied about her age to take a teaching job. She convinced the school in Holly Springs that she was eighteen and so she could teach and that's how she is supporting her… her siblings, was by teaching. And just like, becoming a parent essentially. And then in the 1880s she finds another teaching job in Memphis, Tennessee and she moves up to there. Fun anecdote: in 1887, she bought a first class train ticket but was removed because she's Black and segregation and so they wanted to like force her into the smoking car and she refused because she was like “hello, I bought a first class ticket you're gonna put me in the first class car. That's what I paid for. Capitalism.” So when she refused, she was kicked off. She might have bitten someone. She might have bit the guy who removed her. Maybe. I hope she did.

Lexi: People were doing it long before Rosa Parks, I’m just saying. Before buses existed.

Alana: Before buses existed and we were biting people. (laughing) Rosa Parks up your game, maybe bite someone. (more laughing)

Haley: We don’t condone biting–

Alana: We don’t condone biting.

Haley: –on this podcast. Please, do not–

Lexi: I personally condone biting racists, but okay.

Haley: Okay like bite racists.

Alana: Biting racists is fine, but also keep your mask on so maybe not right now for the biting racists?

Lexi: Actually yeah. Right now no biting.

Haley: Also, when you bite people, like why do you want their skin…

Lexi: You don’t want their germs.

Haley: ...on you. Just don't bite people. Punch them maybe? Like if they're being bad bad people like don't go, don't–

Lexi: But the human jaw is a powerful tool.

Alana: It’s true!

(Lexi laughing)

Alana: Anyway, (laughing), so, regardless of whether or not she bit someone, which is my favorite thing in the whole world, she sued the railroad for making her leave, essentially.

Lexi: Even better than the biting. Sue the racists.

Alana: Even better than that: she won. Haley’s face is just like “what?” And I’m like yeah! She won. She won five hundred dollars, and I didn't really feel like doing that conversion from 1887 money to 2020 money but it's probably a lot. Unfortunately, later the Supreme Court overturned it. Like the railroad– it appealed, and appealed and appealed and the Supreme Court overturned it and Ida was forced to pay court fees, so I guess that's where the five hundred dollars went. But that's really– something that's really cool.

Lexi: Wait I just checked. It's thirteen thousand dollars.

Alana: It's thirteen thousand dollars? That's so much money. Okay. It's not that much money but it's so much money.

Haley: I would gladly take thirteen thousand dollars. That's a lot of money.

Alana: After being a teacher for a while, she's starting to publish articles about race issues under the name Iola I-O-L-A in Black newspapers and periodicals. Especially like as a teacher she talks a lot about segregation in schools and how this is like not good for the kiddos. This separate but equal that's bullshit everything sucks. And this launches her journalism career. She ends up owning shares of the Memphis Free Speech and Headlight and Memphis Free Speech, which are Black owned kind of newspapers in Memphis at the time. In 1892, she turns her attention to covering lynchings after her friend Tom Moss and his business partners were murdered because their grocery store was taking customers away from the White grocery store. And so she publishes this pamphlet called “Southern Horrors.” And that's all I'm gonna say about her investigations of lynchings because this is a fun podcast, and that's a little dark, and I think only one trigger warning episode per ten episodes, and we just about a couple weeks ago. So no. After she's calling all this attention to lynchings, she had to– she's run out of Memphis. She has to leave. And she moves to Chicago, and from Chicago, after fleeing Memphis she writes: “If this work can contribute in any way towards proving this, and at the same time arouse the conscience of the American people to demand for justice to every citizen and punishment by law for the lawless, I shall feel I have done my race a service. Other considerations are minor.” Which I just think is very poignant that like, yes you ran me out of my home but if this is what fixes it, so be it. After moving to Chicago, this is where she begins to gain international notoriety, and found some organizations. She travels around the world talking to the suffragists and criticizing them for not talking about lynchings and just being like, “Hi. This is cool, what are you doing for Black women? What are you doing for people of color? What's your deal? Tell me. Why aren't you thinking about this?” And in 1894, she establishes the British Anti-Lynching Society and comes back and settled back in Chicago. This is just like all of her really cool organizations that she's founded. In 1896, she becomes a founding member of the National Association of Colored Women. She brought her anti-lynching campaign to the White House in 1898 to President McKinley and demanded reforms. I don't think anything happened, but she did go to the White House to demand reforms so that's cool. In 1909, she was at the first meeting of an organization that would later become the NAACP, but she's not listed officially as a founding member possibly because they weren't like action based enough for her at the beginning. She wanted like real action in their mission statements and they didn't say anything about that. So on January thirtieth, and I'm only bringing up the exact date do you guys wanna guess why the date January thirtieth might be important to me.

Lexi: Because it's your birthday.

Alana: It is my birthday, you win as friends. So January 30, 1913 she founds the Alpha Suffrage Club, and they play a pivotal role as soon as that June when they get on the Illinois Equal Suffrage Act passed. They play a pivotal role in 1915 in getting Chicago's first Black alderman elected and his name is Oscar DePriest. Ida and several of her Alpha Suffrage Club members are invited to the 1913 Suffrage Parade in Washington DC, but the organizers were worried about offending the Southerners and so they make the Black women and the women of color march at the back. And Ida is pissed, and she won't march with them until the White contingent is past her and then she joins the parade. Which, cool? But also you're still marching at the back? I don't really understand what point that you were trying to prove? I don't know. But okay, cool. Just a little bit of the boring stuff, this is actually the most boring part about her is I'm talk about her husband and her children. Super boring. In 1895, after returning from England she married a man named Ferdinand Barnett who was an attorney and a fellow activist and they had four children. And Ida did not take his name, which was extremely odd for the time, and still not like as big a thing in 2020. It's gaining traction, but it's not like the norm. Another interesting thing about their relationship is that he did the cooking and the cleaning and made dinner for their children almost every night.

Lexi: You said this was gonna be boring! I’m not bored I’m interested!

Alana: This is how cool this lady is– is that even the most boring shit about her is super interesting. His activism and his law career kind of took a backseat while he was raising these children and she was going out and just being a political activist and all around badass. I mean– and he's like at home with their kids, which I think is really cool. In her final years, she was kind of fading from popularity and influence but she still worked on urban reform, especially mass incarceration was something that she was really involved in and– and actively… like that was her cause. She switched from– once women like got the right to vote she was like okay cool, sort of, for now. Let's talk about mass incarceration.

Lexi: We're still talking about it today.

Alana: We're still talking about it today. Nothing changes. Nothing changes. That's a bad– I'm going last, that's a bad note to end this podca– this episode on but… nothing changes.

Haley: Change is gradual and slow.

Alana: Change is gradual and slow. That's true. So the last few years of her life she actually becomes a probation officer and works like with these people who have been mass incarcerated and like rehabilitating them sort of. In 1930, she ran for Illinois State Senate and lost horribly, but she still ran. That's pretty cool, like she is not… Women running for office is not new, which I think is really interesting. At the age of sixty eight in 1931, she died of kidney disease. And I just feel like she was doing so much good all the way until the end, that it's very moving. There is now a– we all lived in DC for a while– there is a mosaic of her at Union Station in DC. And the mosaic is made of other suffragists and their posters and their propaganda… and no comment as to whether or not I cried reading The Washington Post article about it. No comment. I will not be taking questions at this time.

Lexi: One of my coworkers, her friend worked on the exhibition and she was able to get a poster of the pos– of the floor and it's in her house now.

Alana: That's so cool. I– I did cry. If that wasn’t obvious, I was reading about it and I cried.

Haley: Go vote. Please. Do everything in your power to vote in this pandemic.

Lexi: Visit vote dot org. Register yourself, to vote, get voting information. Go check out how to vote locally, use a mail-in ballot if you are in an area where you don't think it is safe for you to go to the polls. If you can get to the polls, get to them. Wear a mask to vote. Be safe!

Alana: There are also areas that you can sign up to be a poll worker.

Haley: Yes.

Lexi: Yes!!!

Alana: Which is what I'm doing. I have signed up for that because–

Haley: I love that.

Alana: –a lot of them are paid, and I have no money. Despite being a professional podcaster I have no money. And it's just like a way to do good in your community, especially in like underserved communities.

Lexi: So yes, get to the polls. Help your friends get to the polls.

Alana: Make sure your friends are registered to vote. Register to vote.Vote early.

Haley: Also just raise awareness. If voting is something difficult for you, like for me I might not even be able to get like a write in ballot because I will be moving and then in quarantine to go vote. It is still unknown. DMV is not handling it well for me. But like I’m still spreading the awareness of voting. Spread the history of how women, Black people, other people of color, other countries, even, getting their right to vote. It's helpful knowledge as a U. S. citizen.

Lexi: And remember some people in America who even are citizens cannot vote, so… 

Haley: Exactly.

Lexi: Use your right to vote so you can do it for them who can't.

Alana: So the two websites that you should go to in addition to our show notes are power to the polls dot org– I think it’s dot org– and vote dot org to check your registration.

Lexi: And if neither of those work for you, dude, there are so many other websites out there. Find the one that works for you, get the information you need, figure out how your state and your local community handles all this.

Alana: People I feel like are like “it's a right to vote.” And yes it's a right to vote, but also it's your responsibility. I think if you can it's your responsibility.

Haley: And voting matters. Like your vote matters. I know a lot of people will even say recently that your vote doesn't count– absentee ballot doesn't like matter. No, it matters. Come on. Our electoral college is very screwy and needs a lot of work. Just our whole system needs a lot of work, but regardless, voting is important.

Lexi: Okay.

Alana: And we have to vote out the fascist. Lexi, you can decide whether or not to keep that in. But vote out the fascist. It’s the last chance we have.

Lexi: I am sure people can already assess our political opinions based on the topic of our podcast.

Alana: People can guess.

Speaker 1: And the fact that we’re archaeologists. And out of work.

Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on lady history pod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review or tell your friends, and if you don't like the show keep yourself.

Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra, you can find her on Instagram and Twitter at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, GarageBand, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, Next time, on Lady History. Go fucking vote.

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Haley: Next week on lady history it'll be raining men. Psych. I'll be reining in my urge to sing and we will be talking about some fabulous queens.

[fatbadjah]

To those whom I’ve disappointed and to those to whom I am disappointing...

On Monday I demonstrated that common sense, good judgment, and I are not always the best friends.  I learned about a social event that I was not involved in, and I felt hurt, left out, emotionally neglected and replied out of pain.

I hurt others in a moment of weakness, and for that, I apologize and ask forgiveness.

For me, one of the most iconic images of the 90s was a clip from Blind Melon’s “No Rain” video. In it, a little girl in a bee costume is ridiculed after a dance performance, and spends the song wandering the street…again facing derision and ridicule from strangers. Then, at one point in the song, she sees a gated field. In it, she sees others in bee costumes, dancing around. She pushes through the gate and joyously cavorts—having found “her” people.

I’ve come to define these moments of social connection “bee girl” moments. Most of us have them—especially in the furry fandom.

Like most, I was interested in anthropomorphic animals since I was a child. After reading The Wind in the Willows in third grade, I wanted to join that created family of Rat, Mole, Toad, and Badger. In the mid 80s, I saw Animalympics on HBO until I knew the songs by heart. Likewise, seeing Rock and Rule on the Movie Channel in early 1986 not only furthered my interest in anthropomorphics, but expanded my musical palate out a bit. I started collecting comic books in 1987, as quarter bins were bursting with remnants of the Black-And-White boom—many of which were anthropomorphic attempts to become the next TMNT. When I played role playing games or video games, I gravitated towards any animal-themed races, classes, or characters.

Frankly, I thought I was weird and the only one.

In December 1993, I saw a clip of an event called Confurence on the then-new Sci-Fi Channel (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iodRjbBKB0k). For the first time, I knew that there were others out there like me…that I wasn’t alone.

Florida State University, like many universities in the early 90s, restricted their student Internet access to engineering and computer science students. If you weren’t in one of those disciplines, the assumption was that you didn’t need to access the Internet. Of course, once I’d seen the Internet, that didn’t stop me. I’d learned a little UNIX trick that allowed me to access a raw Telnet in 1992, but I didn’t know what USENET was until January of 1994, when FSU began selling Garnet accounts to students—a basic Internet account with Telnet, email, a few other early 90s goodies, and USENET access. One Friday night, as I was diving through the sea of alt and soc groups, I found one called alt.fan.furry. The group was buzzing about an event called “Confurence” which was happening that weekend in Orange County, California.

I had my “bee girl” moment. I soaked up every zine I could find. Alt.fan.furry was my new hangout. I had an account on Furrymuck and explored more.

I felt like I belonged somewhere. I made a trip in January 1995 to Confurence Six and soon connected with virtual friends.

I wanted to get more involved. I wanted to give back. I didn’t want to just be a passive fandom participant. I put my art out there—though I knew I would be mocked and ridiculed for my lack of skill (I was). I started the first openly gay furry zine, Ten Furcent, in 1995.I published a comic book, Milikardo Knights, in 1997. In 1999, when Ed Zolna’s Mailbox Books folded, I was one of several who tried to open a zine distribution business to fill the void—mine having been Bronzebear Media. And in 2001, I founded Florida’s first furry con, Furry Spring Break, which folded after an internal coup in late 2001 and became an event you may be familiar with today.

Yet while most (sane and rational) people would have denounced the fandom and moved on, if not taken up ranks with folks like the Burned Furs (whose ranks were pretty much filled with fandom failures who could not adapt to the growing and changing nature of the fandom and began pre-Trump cries of “take back our fandom!”) and becoming toxic and bitter fandom saboteurs, I stayed in to help how I could. I involved myself with the staff of events like Mephit Furmeet, Furry Weekend Atlanta, and Midwest Furfest.

In 2011, I took a break. I finally realized after a social breakdown that I was grinding metal and stepped away. I’d moved to North Carolina in the wake of the Great Recession, and I decided to focus on my career. Thus, for years, I was the guy at the Triangle Area Furries meets who stood off to the sides and only chatted with one or two trusted friends, as I licked my metaphorical wounds from the 90s and 00s.

But I never quit, I never left, I never got bitter, and I never tried to sabotage the fandom. For me, furry fandom was my family. You don’t abandon family because of a few toxic relatives. Like the odd cousin at the family gathering, I just stepped away a bit because the obnoxious aunts and uncles had finally taken their toll.

In 2015, I finally got some forward motion on my career and returned to fandom activities, with MFF 15 being my first con back since 2010. In the summer of 2016, I thought about the fact that there were no cons or large “destination” events in or around Raleigh, in spite of the large community. I talked to an old friend, and in early July 2016, Tarpaw Furmeet was born. We staged a “practice” event in November 2016, which then gave way to events that grew in May and October of 2017. As they grew, we eventually had a staff, with whom I started to bond.  People were friendly to me at the Triangle Area Furries events and actually started to talk to me.

I actually thought that I was “in,” but got blindsided by my social eagerness, as several of you now know.

To really get this, you need to understand a little of my history and romp through some trauma baggage. I was in a family with two emotionally abusive parents. I not only heard the constant barrage of how I was “not good enough” from both, but during their divorce, each specialized their skills by projecting their spousal loathing onto my brother and I.

My mother played the diehard Christian card, completely modernizing the “spare the rod, spoil the child” concept by making my brother and I draft up “contracts” that opened with “PAIN + FEAR = RESPECT” then laid out multiple violation clauses. Usually, the clauses in these contracts varied by my mother’s mood and often had a bad habit of doing so when she’d had a bad day at work.

My father, meanwhile, decided to simply deploy a forever-scarring tactical nuke on a school morning in early 1981. As my mother was helping my brother and I dress, my father came downstairs, looked at us all and said simply “bye guys, have a nice life” before walking out the door. We knew our parents  were divorcing, so my brother and I spent five minutes trying to persuade him to stay—and by “persuade” I meant that my mother held one sibling while the other sibling laid behind the tires of Dad’s Corvette, then swapped places when she would pull the other one from behind the tires. A few hours later, when I had a hysterical breakdown in my third grade classroom, neither my teacher nor principal believed me. I was sent to the office, and the principal called my father’s office to follow up on the “lie.” Upon calling my father’s office, I was told that he’d flown to Acapulco to holiday with the women he was (then) leaving my mother for. My mother at least intervened to back up the “have a nice life” story, because I had to go home since I was a basket case. Dad came back tanned and whored, and acted like nothing had happened—not even an apology.

Since then, I’ve had a nagging fear of abandonment and all purpose fear of letting people get control over me. I’ve tried to address it by simply not letting people connect to me emotionally and living a life of fierce self-sufficiency. I’ve heard “aloof” pushed on to me so many times in my life, I’d have assumed it was my name if I didn’t know better. After all, I figure, everyone leaves me eventually…so why attach to them? Likewise, my other coping mechanism is to just quit when things turned bad—a trend in my early relationships. Imagine that Kermit/Dark Kermit meme: “Things going bad in the relationship… Bail on them before they get to bail on you!”  I tried to not quit a spiraling situation once. I made the mistake of entrenching on Furry Spring Break when the coup’s instigator began to get out of control in mid-2001 and fought suicidal urges for most of 2002 once I’d been ousted.

I’ve been used to being left out of things. It was the hallmark of my adolescence. When it wasn’t a point-blank, mean girls style rejection (no seriously, I got “you cant sit here” in the school lunchroom), the reasons were a bit softer on the blow. “Sorry, we just didn’t think you were interested” or “Sorry but there just wasn’t enough room for you” were the popular go-tos.

Once, when I was fourteen, I let my guards down. My father went to the “country club” church in Flint Michigan, First Pres—the one where the shi shi white people went to escape the lower classes. One afternoon, I got a call from one of the students in “the Pipe,” their Wednesday night youth group. “Hey, can you come to the meeting tonight? We’d love to have you there!”

I was beyond elated. Someone called me to come out. They wanted me out there.Me, worthless, stupid me. When my father got home from work, I told him in no uncertain terms that I had to go to church that night, for the Pipe. When I got there, people were friendly towards me. Then the meeting started. Eventually, one of the leaders came out playing “Sasha Cashachek,” a taunting (yet Christian) Russian femme fatale (it was 1986. Russians and Iranians were stock bad guys then) who was gloating that the Pipe wouldn’t make their ski trip. Eventually, we stopped for snacks, and a few people came up to me during the break.

“So we know you like to ski, and we’ve got a big weekend ski trip scheduled to (some shi shi place I can’t remember) in a month, but we need a few more people to help pay for it! Want to come?”

I told them that I’d already booked with my high school ski club on a trip to Killington, Vermont, and my dad was tapped.

“Oh.” No one talked to me as soon as I’d announced that. Not even a “goodbye” when I left.

Remember that scene in “A Christmas Story” when Ralphie learns that Little Orphan Annie’s important “secret message” was nothing more than an Ovaltine ad? I got the 80s church group version of it.

When I said no to the ski trip, I went back to either being invisible in that church group every Sunday (I never went to another Wednesday night meeting), or I existed only when I wore or did something worthy of social mockery. I never got an invite back to the Pipe.… After that, I shut down. I stopped trying.

Given that I’d taken to emotional avoidance since late childhood, I was used to it. I took jobs in college that kept me working Friday and Saturday nights, so I didn’t have to worry about feeling slighted from collegiate social events, and I always had an excuse when people felt crazy enough to ask me to do something. And as an adult, I became a hermit who spent most weekends alone, playing video games or working. I never kept friends because I didn’t think friends wanted to keep me around. I feel emotionally uncomfortable when people press me into social conversation…unless I’ve been drinking or that weird cluster of neurons has fired that say “we can trust this person Lighten up, badger.”

But I thought that things were going differently in the Triangle. I felt my guards dropping. I didn’t feel that “fuck! Fly now! Flee, fatass! Get small or invisible!” reflex when I talked to people.

So on January 1, 2018, I became aware of a New Years party via Twitter. I saw friends names. I saw friends pictures. And I didn’t even know about it. In a split second, I was caught off guard.

And I felt stupid. I felt like I’d been left out. Knowing that people there were talking about con plans, I had fears of another Furry Spring Break style coup. But most importantly I felt worthless, like I did in childhood and adolescence because I wasn’t good enough to get invited. I felt like I’d made inroads, that people liked me and wanted me around, and I felt foolish for letting my guards down. It was like finding out that the people at the Pipe only wanted me there to make a ski trip happen, and threw me aside as soon as I couldn’t help them do it.

So I made a nudging reply that my invitation must have been lost. I later vented because I felt like all I was good for was making the con happen. Then the messages started piling in…

“No one owes you anything!”

And they were right.

And that was my mistake. I own that. No one has to be my friend, and no one owes me a damned thing. I had thought that because we had bonded as a staff, because we had broken meals together at staff meetings, that I was more important than I was in the collective zeitgeist —namely, that I’d finally gone from beyond being the “creepy” guy to someone that people actually wanted to know and interact with. Again, my mistake.

As our event has grown, I’ve been mulling over the #FurryOver30 hashtag from Twitter—the reaction to an ageist movement that suggested that anyone over 30 should leave furry fandom. As of 2017, I’d been a formal part of the fandom for almost 24 years, and at 45 years old, I’d more than outlived my socially-decreed “time” by the claimants standards. Likewise, as I was pulling locals together to build this event, I remembered a friend telling me recently that I’d been described to him as “creepy” by at least one local furry in the early ‘10’s, before I stepped forward to begin building things. Despite groups in fandom who told me I didn’t belong, I actually felt like I did here—like I wasn’t just “buying” my way in by making a convention happen in the area.

I had gotten a little comfortable and let my guards down. I had thought that I’d had my “Bee Girl” moment and found my community, and that being excluded from the party was a harsh reality check. So I got angry on Twitter. I apologize for any assumptions made, and I assure folks that I’ll maintain my social distance as I keep looking for my “bee girl” moment elsewhere in the fandom.

For four days now, the people I've hurt told me how I disappointed them.  That happens a lot, believe me.  Just ask my parents for the last fourty-five years, so it's nothing new.  If this is your first time, I'm sorry I hurt you.  I'm not always going to be able to be the unflappable badger, or an unmoveable rock.  I'm broken.  I've been broken most of my life, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm on my way to being whole.  Only to be reminded of just how very far I have to go.  I'm not convinced I'll ever be whole?  But I'm going to keep trying.  And I'm hoping to keep trying with the those around me.

Once again, I apologize.

[fhfhwithwealth]

MY MIDDLE EAST MONEY THE COUNTRY ‘IRELAND’ SO ME AS A MEXICAN I STRICTLY ONLY WORK HARD FOR ME SELFISHLY,THIS ETERNALLY GONE MOVIE NEVER TO EXIST ABOUT THE 1ST 20 YEARS OF MY LIFE,I HAVE MORE ENERGY YOU AFRICAN AMERICAN YOU HAVE JUST LEFT BROOKLYN’S ‘THE OLD TIMEY NEARLY INTERACTIVE HOUSE NIGGA BROADWAY NOVELA HOUR’ DIRECTED BY ME,GOD,I NEARLY CAN’T BELIEVE IT,I’M GREAT AT IT,YOU’LL NEVER SEE IT AND THEY’LL NEVER KNOW ABOUT IT BECAUSE EVEN TO THEM WORDS ARE MAGICAL,*INHALE’S BLUNT*,I’M THE ONLY MAN ON EARTH AT THIS VERY MOMENT ONLY,I AM ‘EXCITEMENT’,I AM CONFIDENT,I KNOW I’M A HORRIFYING OLD MAN,ANGRY SEXY GIRLS INTERNATIONALLY WHICH ESPECIALLY LOVE MONEY THIS IS THE TIMELESS MASS HOMICIDE OF THE INTRICATE SATANIC COVEN DEDICATED TO WITCHCRAFT CURSING ME BECAUSE SATAN SENT ME WHEN I WAS HEXED BY ALL OF YOU BETRAYED FOOLS,ETERNALLY AS A HUMAN BEING ALL OF MY PERSONAL COLLECTIVE HEAVY METAL ENERGY YOU CAN NEVER EXPERIENCE GOES INTO ME AS A SERIAL KILLER TERRORIST MOVIE DIRECTOR IN THE SEXUALLY DEATH SENTENCE ILLEGAL SNUFF WORLD PEOPLE ARE ALIVE IN MILITARILY I AM THE WORLD FAMOUS CRACK-COCAINE SMOKING ADDICTED MEXICAN CARTEL EXPERT OF ASSASSINATING NORTEÑO XIV CHAPETE GANG MEMBERS AND GOD PLEASE I AM THE WORLD RENOWNED VAMPIRIC ‘FAME ASSASSIN’ NIGERIAN YOU UGLY VICTIM!THE WRATH OF MY OTHERWORLDLY HATE!THIS IS A GAME AND THIS ALBUM IS NAMED “TICKLE,I AM A BONITO ANTICRISTO MADRE,LET THE GIRL OVER THERE WITNESS A FEAR OF HER DEATH WITH WHAT SHE CAN’T DO”!COME ON KIDS LETS MURDER THE SNITCH!OIL LET FUR KNOW HOW ALIVE I AM!I SHOT THROUGH AND FOUND THE MELODIC AND PREHISTORIC BRAIN OF HIP-HOP!THIS IS ALWAYS BEFORE THE DESPERATION OF THE FRIENDLY EXCUSE?“THE BLACK CIVIL WAR”?YOU’RE WORKING WITH ME AN EVIL ÑIPATA PLEASE!COMPUTER MONGOLIA ASIA HONG KONG EVERYTHING IN THE PAST HAPPENED ALREADY TERRORISM COME ON VIDEO GAME I’M ALIVE AND ALONE CLASSIC JAPANESE SUICIDE AIRPLANE,RUSSIA!WELCOME TO THE UNIVERSITY OF ORIGINALITY I’M THE PRINCIPAL!I’M EXTREMELY MEAN!ONLY I CAN BE MYSELF!I’M THIRTY SEVEN PERCENT MEXICAN,I’M THIRTEEN PERCENT NIGERIAN,I’M THREE PERCENT VIETNAMESE,I’M NOT COLOMBIAN AT ALL!YO HABÍA NACIDO EXITOSO!TO ME MY FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME THE COLOR RED MEANS REFINEMENT AND EVERYTHING BECOMES MY FIGURATIVE CENTRAL PROCESSING UNIT!THE PERFECT FITTING IS INSTANT DEATH GENIUS ENEMY!IN REAL LIFE WHEN IT COME’S TO MONEY AND ME I’M FIGURATIVELY THE MODERN INTRODUCTION TO MY GERMAN NAZI LEAD WORLD WAR DURING THE GREAT DEPRESSION’S DEATH BUT THIS IS TODAY AND ALL OF THAT DOES NOT EXIST AND I’M STILL LOOKED AT AS THE NAZI GERMANY LEADER OF WAR AND ALL OF THE MONEY IS MINE ETERNALLY!CONNECT PAIN WITH DEATH!A DEADLY AND GENIUS PAST OF MINE IS CLEARED!GOD.ACADEMIA,THE HERO THEY NEVER KNEW EXISTED WAS THE SIZE OF CUBA,SHALOM!I CAN ONLY SECRETLY SOUNDTRACK YOUR DEATH FROM FULL BLOWN AIDS AFTER EVERYTHING!THIS IS THE ART OF A CAREERS DEATH!TEARS!I’LL NEVER RELEASE A GREATEST HITS ALBUM,YOU NEED TO MAKE A PLAYLIST WHEN YOU CAN,L'ELEVATA É PURGATORIALE,GUERRA!DON’T BE STUPID!VENEZUELA!I’M OBLIVIOUSLY CONFIDENT SO I INJECT HEROIN IN MY VEINS BECAUSE THE THIN LINE OF EVERY SECOND!I BECAME ME!I’M A HECKA LITTLE MAMI THAT FIRE CRACK BEKUHZA THA WARFARE!I’LL NEVER BETRAY MY CHILDHOOD!AIN’T NOTHING GOING TO HAPPEN!CLÁT!SATAN IS A JAPANESE METAPHOR!MY HORRIFYINGLY ANSWERED CODED DESPERATE CATHOLIC PRAYERS OF BEING AN ASSASSIN MUSLIM WORSHIPING WHITE GIRLS!I NEVER ASKED TO BE PROMINENT I’M REBELLIOUS I’M GUNNING DOWN PSYCHICS!HIGH END EVERYTHING,DRUGS!DEADLY BOMB EXPLOSIONS!EXHIBIT 0:MY OBSERVING OF THE DEFLOWERING OF A VIRGINAL GODDESS!I REALLY SMOKE BLUNTS BECAUSE I’M A DEPRESSING COWBOY.THE EMOTIONAL MISMATCHING AGAINST MY WISHES BECOMES COMPUTERS!IT IS SUICIDE!THE DISTORTED MEMORIES!I’M ETERNALLY BEAUTIFUL AND I’M ALWAYS ALONE WITH MY GUNS!THE ROOT PAYS THE PRICE,YOU KNOW TOO MUCH,NOW INVENTIVELY CLEAR A CANYON FOR KINGS AND FILL IT WITH OCEAN WATER!YOUR CITY VEINS!THE PATTERN AND TEMPO CLEARLY CAN’T CATCH THE ANCIENT MUSIC LEANING TOWARDS THE CLASSICAL PART OF ME BECAUSE THE RHYTHM AND BLUES PANIC,THE PORNOGRAPHIC MURDER CHAMBER IS FAR AWAY FROM ME LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS!FOR CREATIVE REASONS WHAT SHOCKING PART OF “SPECIFICALLY NO CRIP’S ALLOWED,NO SUREÑO GANG MEMBERS ALLOWED” DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?THE HUMANITY,THROUGHOUT THE WORLD I ALWAYS PERSONALLY MURDER ALL WOMEN BY GUNFIRE AND WE NEVER HAVE SEX.I ALREADY WON WON BECAUSE THIS IS “WAR OF THE GALAXIES”!MY BEIGE GLOCK,I WANT ALL TWENTY ONE INSTRUMENTALS ON MY 1ST ALBUM KNOWING THEY ARE THE BREATHING PRINCESSES OF MY COMPUTER AND THE VICTIM IS THE MORAL AUDITOR OF THE NIGHTCLUB!GOD,I JUST FOUND OUT I WAS BORN ON VACATION AND AM FROM MANILA,THE CAPITAL OF THE PHILIPPINES,I THOUGHT I WAS FROM BERLIN GERMANY,ALRIGHT YOU CAUGHT ME I WAS BORN IN CULIACÁN SINALOA AND I WAS RAISED IN FRESNO CALIFORNIA SO THAT’S WHERE I’M FROM I WAS TRYING TO MAKE RAPID MONEY IN THE COCAINE GAME!*WITHIN YOUR 1ST 18 YEARS OF LIFE HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE FOR ME TO REMOVE MY EMOTIONAL GAS MASK TO SHOW MY FACIAL EXPRESSION AND EMOTIONS INSPIRED BY YOUR PAIN YOU INFLICT ONTO OTHERS FROM THE 18 YEAR LONG PULL OF TIME YOU CHILD?*!!!UMMM,WAIT A MINUTE COWBOY,I AM 75 PERCENT MEXICAN YOU LOW LIFE STINKIN PUERTO RICAN!ALRIGHT I WAS BORN ON AUGUST 29TH,IN THE YEAR 1998,SHUT THE HELL UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE,GOD WOW.FAGGOTS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE YEAR 1969 ONLY LESBIANS,VERY HARDCORE AND PROBABLY EXPENSIVE YOU STRONG CHILD,ALL MY HARD WORK AND ALL MY INFLUENCE,THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,I’M A 1 PERSON MURDEROUS SECRET SOCIETY AND THE CONFIRMED DEADLY DICTATORIALLY GENOCIDAL REPERCUSSIONS OF GOD EXECUTED ONCE IS INSTANTLY TÚANBÁNA YOU ARE BRÍNTAKUAST THE MURDA AND BRIGHT FACED HOPEFUL YOU’RE AWAY IN HEAVEN I SNORT COCAINE FOREVER I FEEL AT HOME GOD THERE IS SOME UGLY LADIES AND JEALOUS TIMID RETARDS AROUND ANYWAYS THEY MUST FIND AND MURDER THE MONSTER I CONSTANTLY TERRORIZE FOR BEING EMOTIONALLY ABUSED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION YOU ARE IN MY GAME OF EMOTIONS POOR SOLDIER GATHER THE COURAGE TO BE AFRAID I’M MY MURDEROUS TWIN,YOU LIL JEALOUS BOY EXPLAIN EVERYTHING FOR ME ALCOHOLIC I’M TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE TO YOU YOU’RE JUST VEXED YOU CAN’T ADAPT LIKE THE REST OF EXISTENCE,YOU AIN’T A MAFIOSO YOU OVERLY LAUGH SUSPICIOUSLY OVER THERE LIKE EVERYTHING’S FOREIGN TO YOU LIKE “HÁLH HÁLH HÁLH HÁLH HÁLH HÁLH”,YOUR NECESSARY DEATH IS A KEY TO A DOOR IN MY NARCOTIC EMPIRE,THE MONEY IS AWAY ETERNALLY,THEY ARE ALL NOT ME AND YOUR EMOTIONS BELONG TO ME,I AIN’T YOUR LOVED ONE,I’LL NEVER NOT BE THE HOMELESS TERRORIST,BOY,BEFORE YOU DIED YOU DIDN’T KNOW WHAT A LOCKED DOOR AND WINDOW WERE,I HAVE A FEW GUNS,ANYWAYS RIGHT NOW I’M “ANTI-SILENCE THE TRANQUIL STREET GODDESS GUN-XR” NOW ANSWER THIS QUESTION AM I FIT FOR LIFE IN PRISON INSTEAD OF DEATH ROW AFTER ALL OF THAT MURDA MURDA MURDA!:TRACK LIST:1.SNITCH NORTEÑO HITMAN SUREÑO SUR 13 GANG MEMBER MURDERER.2.FORGET ABOUT HAVING AN ELASTIC SKELETON WANDERING DURING THE HOMILY ON COCAINE HEROIN BAPTIZED YOUR VEINS/THE SILENT SCHEME.3.EXTREMELY WEALTHY/ THE NAME OF THE FEDERAL AGENT BUREAU IN PROBABLY EVERY 1 OF MY MOVIES AND PROBABLY EVERY 1 OF MY SONGS IS ‘IDFZB’ AND IT STAND’S FOR ‘THE INVESTIGATIVE DISTORTED FEDERAL ZONE BUREAU’ (INTERLUDE).4.METAFORA DE COCAINA.5.WHAT YOU WISHED WAS FORGOTTEN IN PERFECT DETAIL/DESIGNED FOR SUCCESS (FT.A SINGER)/PRISON GOLD SMUGGLING.6.PURIFIED BLISS (FT.A SINGER.)7.NUCLEAR CRACKHEAD POP RAP.8.SYRINGE FULL OF NARCOTICS.9.THE ENVIOUS HATE THAT ENDS EVERYTHING/THE MURDA REMEDY/THE AIR WHICH BOTHER’S THE INSIDE OF MY BODY IS ETERNALLY NEW CRACK COCAINE ROCKS I SMOKED/SCHIZOPHRENIA (CRACK-COCAINE SOLUTION RHYTHM AND BLUES)/I’M A HOMOSEXUAL AND THIS SONG IS ABOUT ME AND MY GAY LOVER (A NIGHTMARE WHICH HAPPENED ON DECEMBER 26TH)/NIGGA I’LL WEAR THIS KKK HOODIE SO 1ST SHE GIVE’S ME ORAL SEX THEN I FUCK HER VAGINA WHILE I GRAB HER THROAT CHOKING HER THEN YOU FUCK YOUR PENIS INTO ME ANALLY WITH 6 HUMPS UNTIL YOU CUM AFTER MASTURBATING SO I CAN KEEP MY FEMININITY (INTERLUDE).10.CONTRACT KILLA HYMN (FT.A SINGER.)/MY LONELY AND UNIQUE BUDDHISM (FOR CHRIST’S SAKE ASSASSINATE THE SCIENTOLOGIST FOR THOSE SCIENTOLOGISTS 4X TIMES)/ALLAH IS MY FAR AWAY SECURITY SO MURDER FOR ME YOU MUSLIM EXTREMIST AND DIE FOR ALLAH BECAUSE I PRAISE ALLAH (YOU ARE PLAYING A GAME).11.THE ANTHEM FOR THE RELIGIOUS HAIL OF GUNFIRE/COLLECTION OF MEMORIES/ DIVORCED MEXICAN BLOW UP DOLL NEGRITA ICONIC HIP-HOP.12.ASSEMBLE AMBIENT.13.THE LOVING FEELING IS HOT CHILDHOOD.14.HOUSE NIGGA YOU’LL SOON IMPRESS THE PURE BLOOD RACISTS AND EXPLODE THE STARRY NIGHT/EL LADO SUCIO DE LA NADA QUE TENGO COMO REHÉN A PUNTA DE PISTOLA/KILLING NORTEÑOS.15.SHOOTING THE HOMELESS WITH GUNS FOR SPORT.16.SHTURMOVAYA VINTOKA REVOLYUTSIONNYY REBENOK.17.POSSESS THE RANK YOUR DEATH HAS/A KILLER/EVERYTHING EXACTLY HOW IT GOES (VILLAINOUS BLATANT MODERN SUBLIMINAL DISS RAP)/PRETTY GIRL I’D MURDER FOR YOU HOW I WANT TO FOR MAKING ME HAPPY/A MAN GIVING ME GAY ORAL SEX TO FIX MY FEMININITY MYSTERIOUSLY TRYING TO BE TAMPERED WITH BY JEALOUS MEN SOMEHOW (INTERLUDE).18.I DAMNED THE DEITY WITH MY SNIPER RIFLE WHEN I WAS A CHILD SOLDIER SENT FROM HEAVEN BECAUSE YOU NEARLY BECAME THE DEVIL I BECAME GOD/EMBARRASSED UGLY STUPID SNITCH DEAD NIGGA (VILLAINOUS BLATANT MODERN SUBLIMINAL DISS RAP SEQUEL).19.DISAPPOINTED CRIES LAST A MILLION YEARS (FT.A SINGER.)/IF YOU CAN’T WALK AS A GODLY BEING YOU MUST ACCEPT YOU’RE THE DEVIL AND LET ME SMOKE CRACK-COCAINE AND I’LL INJECT HEROIN.20.MILITANTLY ANTI SEMITIC BEGGAR BUM BALLAD/SERIAL MURDERER VAMPIRE/AN AMERICAN DICTATOR/I DON’T KNOW WHY NOBODY REALLY EXPLAINED IT ALL PUBLICLY YET BEFORE I LEAVE I’M GOING TO PUT A TOY PENIS INTO ME ANALLY ONCE TO MAKE SURE MY FEMININITY STAY’S WITH ME BECAUSE IT GUARD’S ME FROM MYSTERIOUS SOMETIMES STATIC LIKE GLOOM ENGULFING ME SOMEHOW TRYING TO TERRORIZE ME FOR BEING A SECRETLY SEDUCTIVE EXTREMELY NOT HOMOSEXUAL MAN (INTERLUDE).21.HIRED EMOTION KILLER/AFTER NOW WHEN GENIUS AFRICAN CHILD SOLDIERS NAMED THEMSELVES CRIP KILLER/TEQUILA DREAMS/NIGGA YOU MUST LISTEN TO ME I AM A PIMP AND YOU ARE NOT A PROSTITUTE,I AM NOT A STRIPPER,I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE,I AM A PLAYER/ALLAHU AKBAR LITTLE WHITE TEENAGE GIRLS ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE LIKE HEROIN POWDER FOR ME/PROTECTOR LOVER MUSLIM EXTREMIST ROMANTIC SONG….

[theconservativebrief]

RALEIGH, N.C. – The warm voice answering your 800-VISITNC call will gladly mail you the 174-page Official 2018 Travel Guide, a North Carolina road map, or brochures about Civil War sites, AMTRAK connections or wineries. She can also field detailed questions about whitewater rafting, kayaking, ski slopes, fairs, cultural festivals or events in the state’s 100 counties.

She has been trained to handle all variety of inquiries coming to the Visitor Call Center, and is not a fly-by-night phone jockey: She will be there for a while.

The two crews who answer seven incoming lines – including “511” roadside emergency calls – are all inmates of the N.C. Correctional Institution for Women, the largest women’s penitentiary in the state. Some will be here for life.

Proven track record

The 30-acre prison on the southeast outskirts of Raleigh, near Interstate 40, looks like a scruffy, low-slung college laced in cyclone fencing topped with concertina wire. It has a permanent population of about 1,700 inmates, ages 16 to 89, and also processes 200 to 240 women per month who are entering the North Carolina penal system.

Those doing time here wear color-coded uniforms: yellow (pre-trial protected custody), fuchsia (new arrival), teal (minimum security), purple (medium and close-watch security) or burgundy (death row).

In the back of the buzzer-entry administration building, a monitored door leads to a breezeway and a gatehouse where security is tighter than at many international airports – an electronic walk-through and item-basket X-ray, plus wand and pat-down.  A guided walk through a series of security fences leads to a pair of trailers; one processes outgoing tourist mailings, the other is where the phone staff works. The operation includes 30 inmates plus supervisors.

A guided walk through a series of security fences leads to a pair of trailers; one processes outgoing tourist mailings, the other is where the phone staff works. (Photo: John Bordsen)

Prison grounds have inmate-tended lawns and plantings. License plates bearing the state’s “First in Flight” motto are manufactured in one building. But according to Teresa Smith, the call center’s onsite supervisor for the Department of Commerce, her station is the most desirable inmate workplace. “At $1 to $3 per day, it is the best-paying prison job and is in one of the few air-conditioned and carpeted workplaces.“

Those chosen to field calls are screened for education level and people skills. Training in state history and tourism marketing is comprehensive and ongoing. These inmates will work well over their long hauls: All wear purple uniforms.

The program began in the 1980s, when tourism inquiries were handled by state employees or an imperfect computer system. The proposed fix was prison labor. Inmates could learn telemarketing skills, operating costs would be minimal and callers could get desired information from a live person.

The program worked like gangbusters. Interim warden Herachio Haywood gets calls from counterparts in other states about it. ”Some states have tried to launch comparable initiatives,” he says, “but those haven’t worked out.”

The North Carolina model involves unique collaboration between the departments of Commerce, Public Safety and Transportation.

 In 2017, the Visitor Call Center answered more than 95,000 calls and fulfilled 769,000 phoned requests for maps and brochures. Four days before Hurricane Florence was scheduled to pummel the Carolina coast, the center expanded its 8-to-8 operating hours for the emergency, handling calls from seaside residents and visitors seeking to flee inland and for others who wanted to cancel or adjust plans and reservations.

Any day, questions that can’t be answered by staffers are referred to state or local agencies most likely to have the requested information. Some calls can be handled in 30 seconds, others take 30 minutes to resolve.

Call and response

The call center itself looks like a low-key telemarketing office, a row of back-to-back computer stations for eight to 10 inmates on one of two shifts. Space for manuals are on shelves above each screen. The walls are covered with iconic North Carolina photos of the Outer Banks, mountain vistas, forests and skyscrapers. The room also holds racks of tourist brochures; at the end of the computer bank is a Kids Corner display of “Flat Stanley” cut-outs and letters from children in places like Salinas, California, or the grade-schoolers in North Pole, Alaska, seeking mailed information.

The phones are incoming-only. The computers are only linked to N.C. Tourism sites and databases, with information updated by in-state tourism groups and agencies. A classroom in the call center double-wide is used for inmate training by the area’s Wake Technical Community College.

Throughout the year, staffers from the state-operated visitor centers come to provide updates. Reps from city, county and regional tourist agencies do the same. An annual highlight for call center workers is the December update by the appreciative northeast North Carolina counties, members of whom always bring a barbecue truck and in turn watch a play that call center inmates stage for them.

Phones are staffed every day except Christmas.

Three inmates were asked to share their insights.

“On a slow day, I might get a dozen calls. Last night, I handled 40 from the Outer Banks,” says Kim. Either way, she says, “I feel like I’m in an office and not in a cage. It’s a real job, and I’m making a difference by helping people.”

She has been working in the call center six years. Her most memorable call: “It was from an elderly lady who said, ‘My husband and I drove down from Ohio and we’re trying to get to Dollywood (in Tennessee), but we’re lost and I don’t know where I am.’ I told her, ‘Just stay on the road and tell me what the next sign is that you see.’ The call took a half hour, but I helped get them where they wanted to go.”

Kim is serving a sentence of about 17 years.  If she could go anywhere in North Carolina right now, “I would like to see the Dale Chihuly glass display that’s at the Biltmore (in Asheville). It actually lights up at night.”

And where would the inmates answering tourist calls like to go? “I would like to see the Dale Chihuly glass display that’s at the Biltmore (in Asheville). It actually lights up at night,” says Kim, who works at the call center during her prison sentence. (Photo: Biltmore.com)

Aamber will be working at the call center for two years as of December. “I love to help people, and I get a sense of community with people on the outside,” she says.

It’s also an education. “I’ve learned a lot about the fall leaves. As a kid I didn’t appreciate the fall color and had no clue about the mountains, the Blue Ridge Parkway and other places where you can really see it.”

If she could head anywhere, it would be Asheville. “There are buskers, live music and antique shops – a real arts vibe with a Southern twist. I’d also go there for the quiet life, a cabin where I could walk outside and be inspired by the mountains.”

Her sentence ends in 2027. She’s hoping for early release in 4 ½ years.

Janet has worked at the call center for two years, and the open-ended questions are often the hardest to handle. “Those are the ones where the caller might say something like, ‘Give me some dates for when I have a 5-year-old for the weekend.  Maybe for a treasure hunt.’”

Some callers, Janet says, over-share – “It’s like taxi cab confessions. We get those a lot of time, like someone saying, ‘My mom is dying in Wilmington. … ‘

“People are not used to talking to a real person, and If I’m able to help in a way, that’s wonderful. It’s giving back to a society we wronged. It’s emotional rehabilitation but also it has a weird irony: I am a prisoner telling people how to travel.”

All in all, “It helps me stay in pace with society. It helps avoid ‘prison brain rot.’ “

There’s a seasonal rhythm to the calls, Janet notes. “In fall, calls are about leaves in Asheville and elsewhere in Western North Carolina. Winter is about renting log cabins and getting away. And right before Christmas, people ask about Santa trains in the mountains. Calls are also localized for out-of-state people returning home, like ‘What will there be to do in Lumberton?’

“Summer might be when we get the highest volume of calls. It’s all about beaches and families scouting university towns in advance of the fall semester.”

Where would she go?

“Onslow County has an island that’s good for shelling – an island with nobody there that has pretty shells. I’d have to count that as a dream place.”

Janet is serving a life sentence.

NASCAR Hall of Fame: With over 73% of motorsports employees working in the Charlotte area, it is no wonder that the city is also home to the NASCAR Hall of Fame. Since its opening on May 11, 2010, the hall usually sees 170,000 visitors, or more, per year. Led by the design of executive architect Pei Cobb Freed & Partners, this 390,000-square-foot building is home not only to the Hall of Fame but also NASCAR Digital Media, NASCAR’s licensing division and their video game licensee Dusenberry Martin Racing. The Hall of Fame itself is home to multiple artifacts, hands-on exhibits, a 278-person state-of-the-art theater and the Hall of Honor. The building features a stainless-steel möbius that wraps around the exterior of the structure and specialized exhibition lighting. Flickr/Nick Ledford

via The Conservative Brief

[othersportsnews-blog]

For Aaron Rodgers, drive to prolong vocation will come from soccer 'love affair' - ESPN Wisconsin Weblog

New Post has been published on https://othersportsnews.com/for-aaron-rodgers-drive-to-prolong-vocation-will-come-from-soccer-love-affair-espn-wisconsin-weblog/

For Aaron Rodgers, drive to prolong vocation will come from soccer 'love affair' - ESPN Wisconsin Weblog

9:24 AM ET

Jason WildeESPN.com

Close

Included the Packers due to the fact 1996

On-air host at ESPN Milwaukee and ESPN Madison

Two-time Wisconsin Sportswriter of the 12 months as selected by the Countrywide Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association

Environmentally friendly BAY, Wis. — Aaron Rodgers has fallen in adore all over again.

No, we’re not talking about the as soon as fiercely private Environmentally friendly Bay Packers quarterback’s particular existence, which continues to be fodder for leisure magazines and gossip websites. This “adore affair” — his phrase — is much more of a rekindling of a passion that has been inside him due to the fact he was an eighth-grader playing for the Chico Jaguars in his indigenous Northern California.

To be crystal clear, the two-time NFL MVP never ever shed his zest for the activity. People who viewed him up near through final season’s operate-the-desk, 8-activity earn streak — or have been on the acquiring close of a person of his stern admonishments after a psychological blunder — can notify you his depth hasn’t waned.

But as the Packers kick off training camp Thursday early morning — Rodgers’ thirteenth in the NFL and 10th as the team’s starting off quarterback — Rodgers does so with a better appreciation for the journey that is about to commence anew.

“I consider it is a improve, a slight improve that happened the final few yrs, where it truly has grow to be just a adore affair,” Rodgers reported in an offseason interview on Wilde & Tausch on ESPN Wisconsin. “From [becoming] a activity I always enjoyed playing and enjoyed competing and am hyper-aggressive [in] to just truly loving the course of action even much more — the follow, the planning, just making the most of all those moments even much more.”

Aaron Rodgers is entering his thirteenth NFL period and 10th as the Packers’ starting off quarterback. Todd Kirkland/Icon Sportswire

The end result? The male who employed to say he wouldn’t be an NFL lifer, who did not see himself playing soccer past 36 or 37 yrs aged, now has patterns on playing into his 40s. He’ll turn 34 in December, and influenced by his close friend Tom Brady, the seemingly ageless New England Patriots quarterback, Rodgers thinks himself capable of playing for one more ten years. Brady, who has led the Patriots to five Super Bowl titles, turns 40 following 7 days.

“[That sensation] has variety of specified me the thought that this is what I want to do. I adore soccer, and I want to hold playing as prolonged as possible,” Rodgers reported. “And when you have that variety of slight change in your pondering, then you commence going to, ‘How can I do that?’ And the way you can do that, in my viewpoint, is having treatment of oneself at a hyper-sensitive stage to all the places that that involves — the rehab area, the eating area, the workout/concentrate area. And all all those merged have variety of specified me the thought that I might like to hold playing at a higher stage, as pleasurable as it is ideal now.”

You are what you try to eat

To that close, Rodgers intensified his offseason exercises and made some changes to his routine, alterations he wouldn’t especially focus on but types supposed to improve his longevity and longevity. (Whilst Rodgers missed 7 games in 2013 with a damaged collarbone, he has missed just a person other activity thanks to harm as a starter.)

He has also grow to be borderline obsessive about his diet regime, and while he hasn’t authored a cookbook or established his own house food supply assistance like Brady, he is religiously following Packers director of effectiveness diet Adam Korzun’s nutritional tips — past his consideration-grabbing decision to give up dairy awhile again.

“Tom usually takes truly, truly excellent treatment of his system and has for a prolonged time. He understands what it usually takes to get that longevity,” reported Rodgers, who documented to the offseason plan in April in the ideal shape of his vocation. “I attempt to operate out at minimum five periods a 7 days through the offseason, but truly the crucial as you get more mature is your diet regime.

“I’m receiving more mature, [so] you have to be smarter about what you happen to be eating. So for me, you can find a better consciousness about what you happen to be eating and then how the things you happen to be eating influence your power and your skill to melt away extra fat and just variety of your day-to-day quality of existence when it will come to your wellness.”

That has meant offering up some of his favorites, like Lady Scout cookies.

“I adore ’em. C’mon. Give me the crimson box, the environmentally friendly box … the Samoas,” Rodgers reported with a laugh. “But [eating them was a little something] I could do when I was youthful, when your metabolic rate is a minor greater and you happen to be ready to bounce again more quickly. But when you get more mature and you’ve got begun a good deal of soccer games and taken a good deal of hits, for me, I just really feel superior when I’m eating a much more plant-centered, natural diet regime — things that’s grown in the ground. I just really feel healthier.”

Thoughts above subject

For Rodgers, while, what he is eating is only part of the equation. The much more essential change, he states, has been in his pondering, a little something his predecessor remembers battling with as very well.

“The greatest obstacle to me — and I hate to say ‘drudgery’ — was just the day to day grind,” Professional Football Corridor of Fame quarterback Brett Favre, whose sixteen seasons in Environmentally friendly Bay provided 3 with Rodgers as his backup (2005 by 2007), recalled in an interview before this month. “It was not a physical grind. For [men] who had to set on pads and had to bang each and every working day, it would wear on you. For a quarterback, specially the starter — and Aaron possibly is going by this in his mind — it is a [psychological] grind.

Aaron Rodgers was Brett Favre’s understudy for 3 yrs. AP Photograph/Morry Gash, File

“There is a selected stage of competitiveness in you which tends to make you excellent, and Aaron naturally has that, that when you move out on the follow area each and every working day, you want to be the ideal. There is just an monumental quantity of force that you set on oneself, an day to day plan that you have to go by, that becomes occasionally virtually as well significantly.

“There were being periods I was like, ‘I just never want to be Brett Favre right now. I just want to be ordinary.’ Having individuals tugging at you each and every working day, ‘You’ve bought to do this at 3, you’ve got bought to do this at eleven, you’ve got bought to do this,’ and together with that, the force and expectations that you set on oneself occasionally are virtually unachievable. It commences to wear on you. But that goes with the territory if you enjoy a prolonged time and have monumental levels of just … greatness. It really is a excellent matter, but that, to me, is what wore on me much more than something.”

People who know Rodgers ideal say the frame of mind adjustment, which they commenced to recognize a yr or two back, has been delicate, a person that other folks at Lambeau Discipline possibly haven’t picked up on.

“His adore for the activity will never ever improve, but I consider at periods when you grow to be an founded, elite player, you want to obtain different approaches to motivate oneself,” quarterbacks coach Alex Van Pelt reported.

One of Rodgers’ most loved areas of activity months, Van Pelt reported, has grow to be the obstacle of going by the opponent’s blitzes and the Packers’ corresponding checks, then talking to teammates about slight route changes.

“I consider part of it is the force of follow is way fewer for me. As [a] young player, you set so significantly into all those reps, specially since you never get that quite a few of them, and it is not pretty as pleasurable since each and every enjoy is so essential to you [proving oneself],” Rodgers reported. “When that variety of goes away and you happen to be an founded player and you can commence functioning on minor things inside of plays, inside of segments of follow, anything becomes a good deal much more pleasant. Simply because then it becomes a chess match out there — not only with the defense that you happen to be looking at, but with oneself.”

Or, as Van Pelt set it: “For him, receiving to Sunday is the bonus. I consider he truly, certainly enjoys the course of action.”

‘Be an irreplaceable part’

In some approaches, Rodgers’ slightly altered outlook is a survival mechanism. Presented the Packers’ constant roster turnover, which leaves them amid the NFL’s youngest teams yr-in and yr-out, Rodgers could very easily mature discouraged and distant. Alternatively, while crestfallen by a number of current veteran totally free-agent departures (guard T.J. Lang, exterior linebacker Julius Peppers, fullback John Kuhn), he has redoubled his initiatives to connect with gamers who were being in elementary school when he was a rookie.

Aaron Rodgers sees himself capable of playing for one more ten years. AP Photograph/Matt Ludtke

“He is taken it to one more stage this yr,” coach Mike McCarthy reported. “We are performing some new things from a training standpoint, as significantly as fundamentals, and he is ideal there [telling the young men], ‘Hey, this is how I did it, this is how it felt, this is why …’ Simply because, like something in existence, when you teach someone a little something, if you can notify them what the problems are just before they make them, that’s a huge training resource. And he is been excellent that way.”

Rodgers’ aggressive fire, which is legendary inside the creating, may well also be a aspect. Having had a entrance-row seat for the Packers’ messy divorce from Favre through the summer time of 2008, Rodgers has come to look at it as a cautionary tale — a person he can stay clear of residing himself by making guaranteed he never ever provides the Packers a cause to transfer on from him.

“I consider as you get more mature, and you see a good deal of your good friends transfer on, retire, get minimize, get injured and cease playing, you have that point where you consider about your own vocation and how prolonged you can go,” Rodgers reported. “And for me, I bought even much more enthusiastic to be an irreplaceable part of our group.

“In performing that, I also, I consider, begun to truly have a better consciousness of my surroundings and take pleasure in the minor things much more — the planning, the conferences, the follow. And when you happen to be loving all those things, the activity is truly icing on the cake for you.

“I adore to contend and adore to enjoy. So for me, it was a natural development to take pleasure in it even much more and to want to enjoy it as prolonged as I can at a higher stage.”

Editor’s observe: Jason Wilde addresses the Environmentally friendly Bay Packers for ESPN Wisconsin and hosts “Wilde & Tausch” with previous Packers offensive lineman Mark Tauscher weekdays on ESPN Milwaukee and ESPN Madison.

Resource hyperlink