#i am just meh on all accounts rn

[octuscle]

I hope you can help, you're the 3rd Chronivac support rep I've been directed to. I am unable to make changes with my Chronivac. I swear, the first rep's English seemed to get more broken the longer I was on chat. The second rep seemed better, until he connected to my account. Then he seemed much more interested in describing his musk and farts than my issue! Hopefully you are more competent.

I deeply regret if not all of my colleagues do meet the standards we have set for ourselves at Chronivac Inc. Let me look at your case.

As far as I can tell, you have chosen the "Change my interlocutor according to my wishes" setting. This, of course, can have an impact on the person you talk to at Chronivac…. Fuck! hehehehe! have you seen my boner. Dude, I didn't know it cud get that big. Bruh, actually we are not allowed to jerk off at work. But I'm at least officially still on da way to work… Hopefully it's allowed in da car.

Fucc' can u turn on ur camera, bruh? do u want 2 watch meh jerk off? id b lit if i cud cya doing it 2. Dude, wasnt i wearing a shirt earlier? and wasnt tht a fam van just now? ayy lmao, a mustang goes much better w/ tht tank top.

shit, cuming rn. Dude, did u have sum kinda problem? Can i help u w/ something? then maybe checc bacc w/ meh l8r. Fuuuuuuck!

Pic of me found @447am 

[latinorry]

thoughts on the new hunger games movie // spoilers ahead because I don’t have a letterboxd account and I can’t be bothered to make one rn but I have opinions

-pacing was really weird and the title cards announcing each act took me out of the story each time

-I don’t hate Rachel Zegler so this isn’t a personal insult to her but her acting is soooo theatre kid and I didn’t care for the southern (?) accent especially cause literally no one else had one sjskdnsls

-that being said girl can sing!

-maybe I should just read the book but I kinda wanna know more about the whole war between the districts and the capitol and how that resulted in the Hunger Games… like it’s eluded to throughout the movie that the games are a punishment for the district uprising, but when Casca Highbottom dropped that line about drunkenly coming up with the idea with president snow’s dad during the VERY LAST FIVE MINUTES LIKE??? How is that not more relevant to the plot and what am I supposed to do with this information now

-I would also have liked to see more scenes between Snow and Highbottom in general like they’re interesting because in a way they’re the same person… Highbottom is the original mind behind the Hunger Games and Snow elevated the Games to what they later became in the trilogy and yet they have such different responses to that legacy… Highbottom becomes a drug addict to cope with the guilt while Snow embraces the power and as we know ascends to the rank of President… and yet they’re both willingly complicit in the system which is an interesting comment on the corruptive nature of power +1 points for Suzanne Collins’ brain

-Was Peter Dinklage even in the same room as the other actors though ? because why was he alone in all of his scenes it just felt so glaringly obvious that he did all of his takes in remote sound studio in one day lmao

-the performance by that tribute who like tore down the flag of Panem and put them over the bodies of the deceased tributes… SO powerful it literally gave me goosebumps I think that was probably my favorite scene

-Lucky Flickerman wasn’t camp enough which is crazy considering he was played by Jason Schwartzman but maybe we can just blame the directing or lack thereof … but i can also see them not wanting to just recreate Caesar flickerman’s character cause how do you even follow a performance by Stanley Tucci anyway idk

-the acting overall was soooo ??? Meh even the top billed actors like Peter Dinklage and Viola Davis were not giving what they usually give so I’ve got to wonder what was going on with Francis Lawrence this time around like is he just not capable of directing anyone other than Jennifer Lawrence?

-Tom Blyth ate though that’s one thing about the British actors you can count on them to deliver like their work visa is about to expire at any given moment

-the actor who played Sejanus Plinth also gave a really good performance I’ll give him his flowers he earned them 💐

-not enough Hunter Schafer idc if she’s only snow’s cousin make it work

-this is kinda out of order but they never really revealed why Snow’s dad was killed other than being in the resistance but I feel like that’s such an integral part of what motivates Snow’s devotion to the Capitol and it seems so glossed over cause why was the rest of his family allowed to live idk again maybe I should just stfu and read the book

-overall I think the movie was alright but it didn’t necessarily live up to the hype for me so 4 snakes out of 10

[dteamain]

I personally am just uninterested in banter, but I really dislike that it now requires them to go all the way over to North Carolina where they will only post about banter and nothing else for the extent of their visit. Like I Do Not Care That Much About Banter. I don't want to hear about it all day 😭

I'm super getting tired of all the excessive promo that's sort of like a bit to them atp, I'm just tired of hearing about it, i find it annoying! Like they don't promo this hard for anything else (at least not snf) and its the worst when ur not invested in it. i wish they'd post that shit on the banter account instead of all over their social medias for days on end at least 😭

I won't bash the existence of their podcast too hard, i feel like they'd benefit from inviting FRIENDS on the show, trying out tabletop RPGs (bc its like the perfect setting to try something like that) or just a more fun gimmick than recurring questions, but that's like personal crits and things i would change for my own personal enjoyment. rn its meh to me, and its not WORTH all the advertising they do for it!

thats all lol

so i think this is just a case of 'it seems so annoying because i don't like it'

they recorded banter for three days in which they posted 3 tweets on banter and they each replied to the banter tweets no more than once.

since the antartica banter came out both george and sapnap only have two tweet(replies) each to banter.

so it really does not take a lot of the time and they don't spend all day talking about it. i think it sticks out because it annoys you.

at the end of the day nobody can make anyone enjoy the podcast but it's simple to not watch and just ignore it they really aren't pushing it down peoples throats it's not unrealistic for them to want to promote on their own twitters and they don't even do it much.

[punkclowngod]

hi i’m back lol, haven’t killed myself if anyone wondered, just uh… idk been procrastinating? was feeling awful at first, then better, then great, then meh, now i’m kinda good

little life updates:

got a new kitty, his name is Bingo, i love him

my DC special interest only got worse, i am LOST, i’ve read over 500 comics in the last month and a half and it’s all i ever think and talk about lmao (i can quote so many Jason lines, it’s become a problem)

my sibling got top surgery yesterday and i am SO jealous

didn’t go through with my hysterectomy and instead i’ll just stay on pills

got new tattoo, it’s a clown dog :•>

started being able to go out and go to new places all by myself which is great for my brain but awful for my wallet lmao

got a new friend! then i started ghosting them and now i feel too bad to reach out to them again

seriously, DC is consuming my soul and bank account, send help, i keep quoting Jason all the fucking time and i’m pretty sure i’m driving everyone around me crazy but they don’t want to admit it, and also bcuz i know bunch of lines from Arkham Knight i also by default learn some of Joker’s and i HATE it i don’t want to quote that fake clown but i can’t stop myself. at this point saying “is that what you think this is about? your letting me die?[etc]” is as much as a vocal stim as making weird sounds (on top of “turn around. […] what’s the matter? lost for words? i expected more… i’m hurt.” and “I CAN FIX IT!” and other things), like for real i can’t stop.

comic con was fucking awesome, my sibling and i are going to go as Nightwing and Red Hood next year (why is every dysfunctional sibling dynamic in media always fits us so well? them, the eldest, prodigal, favorite, big older sibling energy, me youngest/middle child, troublemaker, loud, estranged. fr we watch Arcane or read anything with Jason and Dick and we’re just like… yeah that’s us). i bought a really cool Red Hood leather jacket and plan on buying the Nightwing one for my sibling this christmas so we can match. also i made crowbar earrings for my cosplay and yes i think i’m very funny

i got a button maker and it’s super fun

idk what else, once again DC is consuming my entire being and it’s very draining lmao

oh yeah i got two helix piercings

and i went to pride, it was super fun, can’t wait for next year already

and yeah i turned twenty in june and i’ve been coping with that the best i could lol

so yeah i’m easing back into social media, might not be very active still, idk, all i do everyday is read comics, replay Arkham Knight, quote Jason, and rn helping my sibling with their surgery recovery and trying not to be too jealous lol

sorry if i missed anything important, i hope everyone’s doing well, and uh.. yeah! idk if i’m gonna come back again, i’ve been pretty good rn and i know i get triggered often when i go online so i’ll be more careful now so i might log in more occasionally instead of obsessively!

missed you guys! <3

[horrorstoried-a]

so ngl my current url is annoying me for some reason... but i also don't know if i wanna make the url change... i am gonna think on it.

[neioo]

.

[friiday-thirteenth]

oh look friday’s ranting again but this time it’s abt school

why tf do i have to make decisions abt my future rn like bitch i just. im fucking. i have three more years of school after this one im pretty fucking sure i don’t need to worry abt what i want to do rn.

also. theres so few options to do shit in NCEAs? like. we have six subjects. three are already chosen at lvl 1 - english, mathematics, religious studies (whoop-dee-fucking-do we love catholic school) and then science is ‘highly recommended‘ which basically means you only get out of it if there’s literally no point in you continuing

and then i get two more subjects. there’s so fucking many to chose from. societies and citizenship, history, geography (ew but i am good at bullshitting answers), resistant materials (woodwork), engineering, design, accounting, outdoor ed, physical education and a whole shitton more and like. I only get two?

and it’s gonna be even more painful when maths splits into two (calculus and statistics) and science splits into. uhh. chemistry biology and physics? maybe one more idk. that’s in year thirteen and i-

bc i like maths, i like science, i like english, i like phys. ed and outdoor ed., i like woodwork, I like so many things and I could do them all without strain (yes ik there’d be strain i just mean if my brain either a) stopped fucking with me or b) i actually get diagnosed with whatever the fucks wrong with me then i’d be under regular pressure)

like rn. im passing maths with excellences. im passing english with excellences. science with excellences. everything else im like, top 3% of the class (even in pe bc like. I actually try and im not shit at it.) I’m fucking fine with everything (apart from my brain but meh).

i literally have to narrow down my future (and it is my future bc this does impact uni choices and shit) by the end of this year and i hate it

also the fucking audacity of them to focus around christianity and catholicism and not mention the shit the church did like jfc. guys you are being fucking stupid bc there are kids like me that can and will debate the teacher. I call teachers out when they’re wrong and ik that’s like. smart person being a fucking arsehole but if they’re wrong and it’s impacting a class then im gonna say something.

we can’t switch religious studies until year 13 and thats like. to theology, which would either be looking at ethics of christianity or religion depending on the year you get

like what the fuck guys i don’t want to do this i don’t want it

and also they’ve instituted this goddamn capabilities class that’s like, here’s all the expectations we have for you! complete them or we get to yell at you! and what the f u c k what the f u c k what the fuckity fuck fuck.

in conclusion school hell and wants to fuck up my life </3

[5sosbitchfest]

Alrighty, Nonsters.  We currently have 290 Asks in our box!  As much as we might try, I know there is NO WAY we’re going to be able to get through all of them.  Everything exploded this weekend when MessyGate went down!   I don’t want to ignore any asks just because I already answered a similar one.  So, I’ve tried to gather as many similar Asks as possible to let your your voices be heard.  Y’all are definitely NOT alone in your feelings.  Get ready for a lot of opinions on Messy’s Twitter Drama.  

Also, if you sent in an Ask and we haven’t answered it yet, please feel free to resubmit it!  I do try to scroll through all of them but it is a daunting task and personal stuff and work make it difficult for me to get through everything in a timely manner!

********************************

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’m really disappointed in Luke and this band in general, the way they deal with things. “honest policy” with messy? So he knew all of this and it was okay? Or he confronted her on this and he is okay with what she has done? I’m not sure this whole thing would be a deal breaker for me, but it certainly would make me real mad at my SO and some whiny excuses wouldn’t be enough to make things alright. Radio silence would’ve been much better than that story he posted, made himself look like a fool.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls will sooner or later become their downfall if their management or them does not realise they should rely on other things than bringing relationship up front to sell their music. I find it extremely bad that they are behaving as if nothing happened, I hope there will be changes once touring will be possible again and we won’t see these girls tagging along everywhere or being brought up in interviews all the time but somehow I’m not counting too much on that.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder if Luke knows everything that Messy got exposed for or just the parts Messy wanted to show him. Bc Luke said in his Story that he wasn't online lately so maybe he wasn't on Twitter too and Messy just showed him the parts that make her look good and he still doesn't know that she spoke bad about Ashton or how she stalked the fans also after she knew that they didn't hack his email adress cause he wasn't on Twitter so he couldn't see the screenshots.🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm just waiting for the day one of them date someone who isn't a part of their circle. tired of them passing around the same toxic girls.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls are just digging a whole for these guys and they want be able to get out of it soon

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: It was a chicken move for Sierra to do it as a reply and no one has talked on twitter that she deleted it because they probably think her deleting it is saying it wasn’t true

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Am I the only one who thinks that guys really only heavily interact with us when they want to promote something or say something about the music? I do understand they have lives so being on Twitter isn't number one priority and with all the drama that surrounds this fandom its very easy to not want to be online a lot, I just can't help but feel that way

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm talking about this messy situation (no pun intended) with my friend and she said to me that Messy should consider changing her career if she can't handle that not all people are going to like her. (that ofc doesn't include any form of harassment bc that's not cool)

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I really don't know how to feel about the Luke situation. At first I was upset and disappointed of Luke but now I almost pity him bc real or not either the management would want Luke to defend her or Messy. And I think Luke isn't the kind of person who would stand up against the management or Messy (even though it would probably be better for him if he would). And most people don't realise when they're in a toxic relationship so I can't really blame him. I just hope this ends asap.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I literally was so angry and frustrated with Luke and this whole situation yesterday that I couldn’t even look at him on my home screen, I had to change it. It’s really a disappointing thing to witness. Whether management put him up to this or he genuinely believes this toxicity is okay, I’m just very grumpy with him at the moment. He deserves better and WE (the fans) deserve better.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I think Luke really needs to be in a relationship with sb who either isn't famous and doesn't want to be or with someone who is famous bc they have a successful career too and who doesn't need Like to be famous.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’ve only seen a few accounts on Twitter who are attacking Messy and Crusty to the core and exposing every bad thing they’ve done with receipts for the sossies defending them! I’m happy that karma is finally getting to those con artist who think they can get away with anything

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: that recent lierra picture is photoshoped lmao. if you look at Sierra's hand you can see color coming off from it and her arm looks hella weird.her forehead looks hella weird and look couldn't have taken the picture because I doubt that he could stretch his arm that far and make a perfect picture. also we haven't even seen Sierra's face so I still don't believe they're together

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The Lemon pic was like a punch in the face (even though Petunia and Luke are looking cute there). But I've been asking myself lately if Luke has seen the whole drama going around on Twitter or just the posts Messy wanted him to know so the ones who make her look like the victim (and not the ones where she insulted Ashton or she made it clear that she stalked his fans). Cause Luke said he hasn't been online lately.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I mean we dont know how much of the story he truly is aware of and how much s changed to fit her narrative and get L to feel bad for her. Plus he was under pressure from management to do damage control and not standing up for his gf is a very bad look for outsiders who dont understand why she's at fault. It was a pretty neutral statement and he was obviously told to make the post so I dont blame him and just blame her more for putting him in the situation in the 1st place

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder how much toxicity happens behind the scenes, we know S is very manipulative and L is very much a people pleaser so.. and with how much they have to sell their "love" and "happiness" in the relationship. Minipulation is a powerful thing and it could explain why hes out of touch with reality, especially lately since he's isolated with her and doesnt have the voices of the band to raise any concerns and he's been getting skinny again and seems very "meh" rather than happy, idk

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel so disconnected with this fandom rn. I feel like no one is streaming CALM and that makes me sad bc it's such an amazing album. The boys aren't even online anymore, everyone is mad at each other and now Luke comes up with this shit... tbh I wish I would wake up tomorrow and see him tweeting something like yeah I'm sorry about my ig story I still love y'all lmao

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Wait wait wait wait ive been gone from the fandom for a little while now and what the fuck is going on with Luke and S? What did S do that she made a fake ass apology for?? I’m so lost please help me! 😂

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm seeing a lot of my mutuals unstanning and I'm just so mad bc Sierra started this drama and got Luke into it and I'm sad that people are leaving bc of this, it's just too much toxicity and it shouldn't affect the band and their connection with the fans but with Luke saying this he makes it seem like he supports the ugly things she does

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I am a Luke stan and I've always loved him bc he has inspired me so much through the years but when he does this things it's like...damn. I feel like he's invalidating the fans' feelings by being like "if you don't like my girlfriend, ur fake" like he has never noticed me on Twitter or anything but my biggest fear is to be blocked by him or just ignored bc I don't like her (although I never expressed it publicly) n yeah anyways :// It feels weird

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Going back and re-reading the DM’s messy literally confirms that she accesses Luke’s account by saying “we couldn’t get in” or some shit like that

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate being a luke stan, sometimes it just seems like he doesn't care? he always puts these toxic gfs before the ones who adore him and pay his bills. might just move into Cashton's lane. unproblematic kings.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: He literally posted a picture of him cuddling her and petunia within the hour

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The saddest part of this situation is it’s like a repeat of Arzaylea. Luke has no idea what a respectful, mature relationship is. We saw it with Arz and were seeing it again it’s just a little bit different. He stays being controlled and manipulated by toxic partners. I really think homeboy needs to be single for a WHILE and focus on himself. He needs to unlearn the things his past and current relationships have taught him about love because if I know anything, it’s that this ain’t real love.

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Is it bad that I just want the larzaylea drama back?? Like everyone could at least agree on their feelings then...

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Just checked messy’s insta and of course, everyone that still supports her filled her tagged with just the single picture

Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel like the reason Sierra is getting away with what she’s done is because she isn’t that known. Like yeah she’s associated with 5sos, but they’re also like not that big which is probably why it’s getting swept under the rug. I’ve only seen the 5SOS fandom calling her out for her actions. If this had happened with a well known celebrity, they probably would’ve been dragged and been trending on Twitter. I might be wrong but I feel like this is what’s happening which is just unfair.

[momiwanabeanautistwhenigrowup]

So here I am. Doing the one thing I have steadily avoided for the last 4 years…somewhat.

I shouldn’t start off this way but fuck I hate writing. And there goes the first impression, etched forever in your subconscious.

She’s not going to be happy about this. Meh.

So I’m a 30 y/o stuck in this hellhole and this is my story? I guess. I mean it’s really ours.

I basically made this account to vent ..uh then I realised I’d have to go all the way back for it to make sense…and I guess my life has always been this series/rpg game so it might take shape in that style. I’m mostly explaining this to myself.

Jump to 2016. I started this biography venture bc in my short 25 years I’d amassed a set of experiences that were not so average middle class life experiences, and not in the good way. Now if you take my story and place it on the backdrop of each life on this earth then, in my opinion, my life is pretty ordinary too. Hence the (reason I tell myself there was a) delay with finishing this biography. Anyway so I sat down to write this thing a total of two times(fucking literary genius) in 2016, sometime in April if I recall correctly. It was horrible but necessary, and then I guess I found magic? And decided to halt production since well…I was busy coming into awareness. I still have the draft on this pc... I stopped when I was 10 years old.

Jump to 2020 and I’m in front of this computer with Tumblr as my backdrop in order for me to feel like I have and audience and therefore someone to talk to (I decided to type this shit out on word before copy pasting to tumblr bc apparently I don’t like living on the edge??)

I’m high as fuck (I would like to say.. but na, I’m just regular high off some freshly home-grown microwaved weed.) anyway this is probably going to be my last indulgent ingestion of the stuff. Hopefully.

Don’t get me wrong, weed isn”t to blame and I have people I can talk to, but the problem is

Everyone

Has

Their

Own

Shit.

None I know has the space. I’m the most equipped to deal with myself. To me, that is deeply unsettling right now. Like… most people don’t even know where to begin and..well..I’ve been here before so I know what to do and honestly it’s fucking shit haha.

And as shitty as I feel, it doesn’t change the fact. I gotta figure this out on my own.

I’m a 30 y/o natural med student in my second year of my 5 year degree. I live at my parent’s house in a relatively good neighbourhood, I have the most comfortable bed, a loving cat, a good-looking bedroom and many middle class luxuries…like an en suite. I have a very comfortable house to live in and there is always food whenever I feel like eating or even just to cook for fun(my talents lie in the kitchen, potions, medicines and treats are my favourite pastimes, I love to nourish people. Don’t let it fool you though.) it’s c o v i d year rn and I don’t pay for shit.. factually, I’m pretty privileged to have all that I do physically.

My parents have always been around in physicality, even when they weren’t there, especially when they weren’t there… which was and still is a lot.  And in rolls one of the overarching themes emerges. Welcome welcome.

I got that far and took a Facebook break, bitch she runnin

So yeah I was born in this bitch back in 1990, two guys got here before me, one 11 years prior, the other 3 years after the first. Then I showed up after our parents reconciled after a 6-month separation. But like…that doesn’t happen in my life till 2019.

I’m currently contemplating piercing my lip or nose but I threw out all of my old jewellery. Geezus, it’s her and she is 22. (side note to myself,  please ignore)

Anyway so yeah I get borned unto these guys; a drummer butalso telephone technician and an accountant, both were raised as worker bees but are actually uh..nope. spoiler one is a caster the other is a timekeeper. Both mages, but they don’t know.

I was this scared to shit little creature of a child. I slept between them once It was safe to do so (I know almost nothing about kids but I’m assuming it’s a safety hazard to sleep next to new-borns? let alone to let them sleep between two people whom are also asleep. Also, I recall sleeping in this white, wooden cot thing which used to chill next to their bed. It opened up like some gates did in those medieval(<-never understood this word tbh) castles, the ones that go vertically up and down. (Yes, I remember. I remember realising I was back on this plane when I was 2 months old, it’s my earliest memory-trust me this becomes highly unimpressive once I turn 23 so hold on before you think I’m lookin for clout on this one). Like I get that that is cute and all, legit I was cradled in safety but like, that cradle started to close in very soon. Too much of a good thing changes poles kids. Leave Jesus alone he wants to have some him time.

So yeah a lot happens that was quite significant during these first 4 years but I don’t remember much but a few glimpses. Bouncing on my dad’s chest, the lounge on a sunny Sunday, mom in a beige coat, long pretty hair, a family vacation where I wore this 2 piece I loved and there was a blue waterslide tube, a fight about racism (early 90s, go figure..but like also 2020 fr) a roller-skating rink, a “haunted” forest walk, Easter…. man that vacation was fun. Most of the things I remember were from age 4 onwards. But I do have snippets of before.. playing dress up with my cousins, hiding in cupboards, hiding behind makeshift tents, maaaaany makeshift tents, talks about camping outside by the pool (oh we had quite a nice sized house with a huge yard and quite a big pool too, I learned to swim when I was two, I spent a lot of time in and around water as a kidling) I spent and remember most of my time with my cousins and being angry at our aunts. I did ballet from the age of 4 as well, I remember my mom asking me if I wanted to do ballet and I said yes, we were in this blue ballet room where one of my cousins was busy with her class. She got here 7 or 8 years ahead of me too.

Idk my childhood was pretty colourful, even today, I remember it being filled with lots of adventure. At least until I started going to crèche, but only for mornings until the other kids got here and it took my mind off of the fact that my mom wasn’t there. I hated it when my mom left me anywhere, I still remember what that felt like and it’s still nauseating despite the fact that I’m about 26 years older now.

also i’m finally posting this now and the high has already worn off. 24 hours to go.

fuck.

[octopuscato]

Sorry to rush in to ask stupid question but I too noticed you reblogged many pics with lots of beautiful plants aka how I would love to live if my darling husband would not remind me every time how many plants would die when we go on holiday. Soooo now I'm super curious does your home look actually like this? Do you hava a lot of plants? In one room? Or a few in every room? Or... ok, i stop, I'm just really curious.

Haha, no problem, that’s not a stupid question! You have kind of unlocked the “I want to talk about how I am suddenly unable to imagine a home without plants!” level, though, so bear with me.

Thing is, until I started my current job in late 2016, I thought I had “a brown thumb”. My back-then boyfriend once gave me a cactus, like in 2003 or so, and I let it die xD I never had a plant in my flat, ever, except that brief cactus stint (RIP), since moving out from my mum’s in 2001.

Then my bff, who also worked at my new job, gave me three small struggling spider plants in the spring of 2017, and my office colleague gave me a little other plant that struggled also. I looked up what to do (what soil, how much water), and then I went to work, and it was not much work at all. Just repotting and giving them the appropriate amount of sun and water by trial/error.

Before:

After like two or three months:

Yup, those are the same plants. Also, this happened, the spider plants spawned (pls ignore the bag of old clothes in the corner ;) : 

So…take into account this was two years ago so all of these have GROWN by now.I also found a sorry-looking little thing sitting in the street, put there by someone wanting to get rid of it. It sure as hell hadn’t got enough light, it was too fragile and shit:

I cut the tips and put them in new soil:

And (do ignore the windows in need of cleaning pls…) this happened:

I had three of those! I have two now bec. two died from a recent insect plague, but yeah, that shit GROWS. I need to buy something to hang it from the ceiling. 

Also, in 2017 my bff gave me the ficus that was slowly dying in her office and had like 20 leaves left or so, and I took it home and it got better. 

Before, though I think that’s after ~2 months with me already, with new soil and the leaves visibly greener:

After, ca. 2018 (and it’s better now):

A ficus is a fickle thing (tbh it was surprising it didn’t throw its last leaves atfer being carted through half the city by public transport), so that convinced me that I kind of had a not so bad way with plants.

I had my plants in my living room and bedroom, but rn it’s just the living room, because as I mentioned, there was a little insect invasion that killed off a plant plus my herbs, and meh, I had to evacuate the bedroom temporarily.

Have some impressions over the years.

Now, as you can see, it’s rn mostly one corner of the room, though there are plants in other areas as well (on the shelves further back, I have no pics and my camera is not good). But eventually, I want to move some back into the bedroom again, plus the kitchen if I find some that really like dark-ish rooms. I also want to hang way more plants from the ceiling than right now, because right now, the amount is zero xD

Uuuh, anyway, my goal would be for my flat to look like that, BUT idk how feasible it is, esp. since plants cause some humidity and the kind of windows we have here don’t forgive that easily. I have to be careful not to get mould But yes, that would be the dream.

(I’ve not been away for more than like five days since 2016, so when I leave for two weeks in September, I’ll have a neighbour water the plants and hope for the best! Fingers crossed! Maybe you could enlist someone to water the plants when you go on holiday too?)

/rambling

[proficientatfreakness]

On friday afternoons

I'm usually by myself at the office, everyone leaves at around 3 and I stay.

Why do I even need to be here? No one needs me here rn, but I feel like I'm being a fraud because I'm here sitting and staring at the screen instead of doing all this infolex shit no one cares about.

Allegedly, I'm here so that people can come by and collect their tax stuff and their quarterly binders, which have already been whateverized by the accountants.

But no one is coming so I have the following tasks:

Print tags for some hanging folders

Put some papers on said folders

Hang folders in the archive

Log in to the database, check which folders have expired.

Find them and destroy their content, except for any originals.

Log in to another database and demand those folders to be marked as complete.

Pick up the phone [1 call so far].

Tidy the lunch room, aka: refill the nespresso's tank and pack the organic trash bag. Put a clean one in place.

And, today's special task, get the handyman to pick up my calls. So far, he isn't. Yay.

How wonderful it is, to file files which, in a few months, I'll need to destroy. My work really has such an impact, I'm amazed.

I always think about that episode from Welcome to Night Vale that has part A and B, and it has Cecil saying "Incomplete?Unfulfilled?"

Look, instead of putting stuff in folders, I found it

Yayy another call!

Meh, era Jazztel.

Only 1h07' to go and then I will postpone this existential dread until next week, yayy!

For all the faults the other worker who used to be here in the morning had, at least she was so rude and unhelpful she made me look better in comparison. Now my new colleague is experienced, resourceful, and as good as I am in all the things, when before, I was the good one who exceeded expectations because the bar was set *so low* you can't even imagine.

And everyone looks like they're happy with me here and my work, but my brain is waiting for the other shoe to drop and for them to kick me and then I'll go live under a bridge with my cats and when it rains, my switch will get wet and it will break bcs water damage and I will die of cold and lack of videogames and i'll have to sell all my books and games but no one will want to buy them and they'll be with me in a box and the rain will corrode the cartridges and rot the pages and cockroaches will nest there and they'll lay eggs in my hair and I'll have to shave it off because I'll never find another job, I've managed to keep this people fooled for almost a year and a half but the gig's up and they're gonna sack me

I bet I wrote well over 250w for this, and I can't even write that miserable length for the uni assignment. Ugh.

Other than that I'm ok guys just peachy!

This was brought to you by Anxiety, working as always with TDAH and with the invaluable collaboration of Capitalism.

Yayyy 52' left to go!

OMG THE HANDYMAN CALLED!

He won't be coming. How unexpected. 50' and I'm out, but never free.

[inflictuated]

The Nosy Bitch Tag. No tagged but I got bored today and I’ve got this iin my likes for months. Got the text from the ask @afiwashere did (always her, damn...)

Rule: Answer the questions and tag however many ppl you want to know more about

Nickname: Lo, as [lo] with a closed [o] with the roundest sound ever. In french it means “L’eau” = the water and my friends are trying for years now to find my the greatest nickname slash pun. For now, the winner is my ex-roomate with “Waterprof” (water for Lo and “prof” as “teacher”.... ‘cause I’m one. Haha)

Gender: Female

Zodiac: Sagittarius

Height: 167cm

Age: 25

Time: 15:26

Favorite band/ solo artist: Really ??? Well, I’ve been in love for years now about some rock bands, like The Kills or Arctic Monkeys. And I may add Her, and AaRON as bands I love today. And in kpop I’ve fallen in love with Day6 and The Rose and Drug Restaurant, as well as Seventeen and LOTS of other artists.

Song stuck in my head:  ... Currently I’ve got the Macarena in my head. Kill me please.

Last movie I saw: The Wolf of Wall Street by Scorcese last sunday, and I didn’t love it. It was meh. And loooong.

Last thing I googled: Except the “how to I see my search history”, the last thing I googled was “W drama episode 1 vostfr”. 

Other blogs: @macaronviolette It’s actually another email and another dash but yeah. And @joycelight as the aesthetic one.

Do I get asks: Not really, but I get some messages (thank youuu peeps, you’re cute <3)

Why I chose my username: Inflictuated is a mix between “infatuated” and “conflicted”. As my relationship to seventeen when I discovered them last year. And be falling all over again into kpop thanks to one of my students. Thank you, M. 

Following: 72 accounts

Average amount of sleep: I need 7 hours per night, and I usually get them, sometimes it’s more about 6. And if I don’t need to wake up it goes up to 8/9...

Lucky number: 2

What am I wearing rn: skinny jeans, squared button-up and a cosy wool vest on it

Dream job: I don’t really have a dream job as I’m more than satisfied of my current one : I’m a teacher librarian. It’s all about students aged 11-15 and information and media teaching, cultural projects with them and being a dragon in the school library (mwahaha)

Dream trip: Around the whole world. I would love to go to New Zealand, Sweden, Iceland, Canada and Peru. But I also would like to discover Asia as well... Yep.

Favorite food: I’m so french. But real bread with butter and cheese.

Play any instruments: I can play a bit of celtic harp, flute and guitar. A bit !

Play(ed) any sports: horse-riding for a long time, but I did also some dance and gymnastics, as well as roller derby lately and now i don’t do any sport but i’d love to take some boxing lessons.

Eye colour: quite light brown, they are pretty in the sunlight (but then i can’t see because of the light so...)

Most Iconic song: Actually I don’t know...

Languages you speak/are learning: French and English. I’ve learnt a bit of romanian when I was young but now I lost everything.

Random fact: I spend a lot of my time on a roleplay forum based on Harry Potter that I co-administrate with 4 friends of mine. It’s fun and sadistic innovations and I love them.

Describe yourself as aesthetics/things: You know that mug on the shelf, not your favorite one but the one you use from time to time because it has just the perfect contenance ? Yes. I’m that one. Not suitable for every occasion but I’m confident on my own and I do the job quite well. 

I won’t tag anyone but feel free to do it one day if you’re bored, like me hehe (and tag me in it because I’m curious about every people I follow - yep !)

[herotheshiro]

ok slightly unhinged anxiety abt fandoms/being online below. “slightly unhinged” bc it’s irrational anxiety to have not like it’s anything batshit crazy fyi. i’m sorry i have nowhere else to post this bc i am not writing abt this on main, putting this on a twitter thread, nor speaking abt it to my therapist despite having a call in the next hour bc i’m still to embarrassed to talk abt weeb/online stuff w them rn

i’ve been kind of low mood since this morning. i first found out an a/3 translator i follow on twt is in contact with and/or friends with another translator who i know ships b/ntm, and i didn’t really consciously respond at the time other than w dull disappointment but then i felt uneasy being on twt after that and it’s prob bc i’m like eh abt the 1st translator bc of their connection w the b.ntm shipper and i’m still anxious enough abt that ship that i get in a bad mood whenever it comes up even in passing or literally barely indirectly like this. i mean it shouldn’t be a big deal, bc (1) the 1st translator has never listed what they ship in a/3 (if any) so they could very well have been shipping invalid ships this entire time and i just never knew, but also (2) just bc you ship a pairing doesn’t mean you necessarily discuss it w all the ppl you contact in a fandom. and they’re both (good imo) translators so good to have someone to compare notes to.

but it just makes me feel meh bc i’m already eh abt the other translator despite knowing their (understandable as a fan) sometimes ulterior motives for translating some content and now i’m like man. ANOTHER translator to be side eyes about ?? it’s not like they put their shipping googles on when they translate tho unlike another (a 3rd diff one in this post) translator i’ve seen. and even if both of these translators ship b/ntm they talk abt it on separate accounts (the confirmed b/ntm translator does. idk abt the 1st translator and i didn’t dig into their main twt) so technically they do keep it away from non-shippers. and there are worse things to not be friends w someone over slash these are not even ppl i know personally, but man. it still bothers me a little. i feel like i’m getting a little better in my gut response to the ship and i prob should talk abt it in therapy but man i don’t understand ppl who are comfortable discussing it bc i still have some embarrassment/shame associated w being a weeb “publicly” even though i’m not into shady shit like loli secretly or whatever. even just telling them i’m on tumblr was so cringe lmao... i’m p sure they know what fandoms are bc they also see young patients but man. i still find it embarrassing to say that i like or even partake in that kind of stuff (fandoms, tumblr) like drawing fanart. anyway that’s a whole other can of worms (?) but yeah back to twt.

so i was scrolling on twt to kind of like forget abt the whole translator social network debacle and i started reading up on the controversy/recent events w princess mako in japan and wow reading both sides’ takes on the issue is so tiring... like there’s ppl who completely romanticize it being like aw hehe she gave up her status for love but then there’s other side who’s like yeah we’ve been against the marriage bc the guy is kinda shady and she deserves better. i mean personally wouldn’t wholly romanticize it when i tbh don’t know the full story and literally just learned abt the relationship today but also i’m weak to romance so i would just like to believe they do genuinely love each other as individuals... and like good for her for getting out of what is prob a really stifling situation w all the public scrutiny and attention but also it’s fucked how only the royal women lose their status when marrying a non-royal... basically just a ton of mixed feelings. and that kind of news spiral is partially why i took like a 2-month break from twt bc seeing those news stories can be so depressing either bc of the news content itself or seeing ppl’s takes on it or both. so yeah i just feel bad now. btw don’t ask me abt the princess mako stuff or my opinion bc idk tbh, plus it also brings in opinions on how japan’s current political sys works and i know there are STRONG opinions on that online and this is a fucking manga/BL review blog not current events/political blog. i just hope that the relationship works out bc if it fails ... bruh she cannot return to japan. she would be a social pariah fr and that sucks so bad to think abt

[cheolbooluvr]

AYEEE CONGRATS TO 100 CHRIS 🥳 It's only been a week since you hit the 90, I'm so happy for you :D

so, I watched the first two episodes of Vincenzo and I LOVE it. It's so intriguing, not only the plot but the characters too?? I just can't believe he got fooled by that taxi driver, imo it doesn't make sense at all 😑 🤦‍♀️ I've seen that you joined those two SVT collab projects... I'm curious, do you plan on writing Vincencheol for the one based on kdramas or do you have other plans for that? 👀

And you are definitely not weird for plotting stories in present tense and when it gets to the writing part you suddenly switch to past tense. Well, at least we'd both be weird but I'm sure there are others too :D

I also reread some of your stories today, amongst them the first one you published on this account and I hope this doesn't come off as rude but I noticed a few changes to your writing style from back then and I think you improved a lot <3

to that life decisions thing...it really sucks we have to figure out this early what we want and what we don't want. Technically anyone could, for example, drop out of college at any time, change their plans and do something completely different. It's just important to have the support needed because society sucks and the pressure put upon the youth is unreal like do they actually expect us to function "normally" this way?

Ugh, sorry for that rant -.-

BUT now I remember that I wanted to make a request. Well, it technically isn't a request more like a rough idea which would be a story based on either Jun's solo song "Silent Boarding Gate" ooor Hao's solo "Side by Side"

Both MVs just give me major vibes to be written out as a story. Not necessarily the part of the break-up or the rejection but the positive stuff, do you get me? 😅

oh well, I didn't want this to become this long, sorry <.<

I hope you're doing well, don't forget to take care of yourself 💞 ~🌙

my beloved moon anon (i'm on my computer so i don't have easy access to emojis T^T) !! thank you for your support as always!!! <3

first, don't ever apologize for rants or long asks!! i rly don't mind at all ^^ also YAY so happy you're watching vincenzo!! ikr he's so goofy for being tricked like that, but tbh i didn't even realize the driver was sus hahaha i hope you are liking the rest of it so far, plz keep me updated :)

gonna put a cut on this bc it's gonna be long LOL

re: the collabs - i'm actually doing a different drama for the drama collab, it's called fated to love you!! i haven't fleshed out vincencheol yet, but if i do, i might switch it to that but we shall see! i haven't touched that collab yet, i've been working on the summer one which i think will be fun and a lil juicy :3

also i am so happy to hear that i'm not the only one who plots in present and writes in past! lol idk why my brain works that way??? i guess i just prefer the way reading in past tense sounds? who knows =.=

you're not rude at all!! thank you so much omg, i haven't reread the first story (did you read 'when we meet again' or 'my dream is you'?), but i am sure it's ROUGH. tbh i feel like my writing is still very meh, but i'm glad you think i'm improving!! that actually means so much to me and is actually very helpful. i'm trying my best to keep writing and practicing so eventually i can write my own novels!!

don't get me started on how stupid i think it is that society expects young kids to have their whole lives planned out when i hear adults tell me they don't even know what they want from life. or they say that what they're doing now is drastically different than what they wanted to do when they started/left college. so it's like why do we need to have this figured out rn??? MAKES NO SENSE AHHHHHH drives me absolutely bonkers hahahahaha okay rant over.

as for your requests, they are in my list of to-dos bc i think both mvs are great inspo for stories :') actually fun fact, the hao i wrote for the confession series reminds me a lot of hao in the side by side mv, or at least that part where he's watching the movie w the girl ahaha anyways he's so cute. jun's sbg makes me so sad, but i would be more than happy to try to write the happier side of it. i'm curious what that would be like :o anyways, i have it written on my requests list, so look forward to it hopefully soon!!

hope you're doing well, that you're healthy and staying safe as always <3

[grctesqueheart-blog]

IRules: Answer 30 questions and tag 30 people

Tagged by: @pxlotspeaking, technically Tagging: Anyone wearing black!

Nickname: Ko Name: *censored* Gender: Genderfluid? I think? Genderqueer, at least Star Sign: Leo Height: 5′6″-ish Time: 23:58 Birthday: 9th August Favourite Band: If I had to choose one... Set It Off Favourite Solo Artist: Melanie Martinez Song Stuck In My Head: Taxi Cab - Twenty One Pilots Last Movie I Watched: Beauty and the Beast - the live action one Last Show I Watched: Camp Camp When Did I Create My Blog: 13th October 2017. I got too emotional about Togami, was awake until six a.m., and a blog came out of that...  What Do I Post: RP, asks, aesthetic stuff and musings; that sort of thing. Last Thing I Googled: Togami icons. Boring, but I need some happy icons for a verse I’m planning ^^ Do You Have Other Blogs: Lots. @hearteyes-stitchedthighs, @mortuary-lillies, @wonderland-escapists and @rxg-txg. I also have @innocent-idol, @beautiful-masa-sama and @heartless-reckless, but I’ve recently been locked out of those accounts after Tumblr updated it’s login thing, and they wont fix the issue. idk what’s happening with them rn. Why Did You Choose This Blog Name: It’s Togami, ‘nuff said I think Blogs You Are Following: 143 Followers: 71 Favourite Colours: Black, red, pink, blue and purple Average Hours of Sleep: No clue Lucky Number: None Instruments: Recorder, like all British kids. I can sort-of play piano and keyboard, too. What Am I Wearing: Red and cream cardigan with tattoo-style birds embroidered on it, a black skirt, black tights, and shoes patterned with sugar skull-style Hello Kitties. (I’m a goth/emo shit, we’ve established this) How Many Blankets I Sleep With: Just a duvet.  Dream Job: Mortician Dream Trip: ... Japan. I’m not a weeb, I swear! I’m an otaku! Favourite Food: I’m kinda ‘meh’ when it comes to food... Nationality: Welsh Favourite Song Now: Good For You - Dear Evan Hansen

[pixelbatsy]

92 things!

yiKes im so late to this but i was tagged by @craighsiao, @kittenmusicals, @pbophelia, @zigisbisexual, and @mermaidwarriorqueen yall are so crazy i love yall thank u w all of my heart :’)))

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: my mom 3. Text message: "dont watch princess bride” w a pic of it buffering from my friend lmao 4. Song you listened to: fetish by selena gomez my newest bop 5. Time you cried: an hour ago bc of my shit eyebrows that got Ruined!

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: lol

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: lol no

8. Been cheated on: LOL 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: hooyeah 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: not yet djfakld

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. millennial pink lol 13. periwinkle 14. maroon

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: hooooo boy yeAH irl and on tumblr!! 16. Fallen out of love: specifically w thomas hunt sry bb 17. Laughed until you cried: me 24/7 18. Found out someone was talking about you: hajdhf yeah but she cried and apologized so we’re cool now 19. Met someone who changed you: omg yes so much 20. Found out who your friends are: yesyeysyes i luv them 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: who still uses fb

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: none?? 23. Do you have any pets: an inside cat, 3 strays outside that we just feed and they just chill out here, and also some fish that are like 6 years old 24. Do you want to change your name: i wanna switch my first and middle name 

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i went on vacation in florida and new orleans with my best friends hfjakdhf 26. What time did you wake up: 12:30 my sleeping schedule is fucked 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching makeup vids lol 28. Name something you can’t wait for: TRR CHAPTER 15!!!!! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 30 mins ago idk 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my ability to talk to people bc my anxiety!! ahhaha!!!! 31. What are you listening to right now: FETISH BY SELENA GOMEZ A BOP!! 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no?? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my fukxign eyebrows that the lady messed up ughggjkhsd 34. Most visited Website: is this even a question lmao tumblr and youtube 35. Mole/s: ugh i have one on my stomach and it bothers the shit out of me but i have more in other places im just too lazy to look 36. Mark/s: do cat scratch scars count bc i got a lot of those 37. Childhood dream: my mom told me my 1st grade teacher asked what i wanted to be and i remembered the episode of curious george that i watched before leaving the house and said an ice cream girl in the park but either that or become ariel 38. Hair color: rly dark brown but in the sun it turns rly light like into like honey brown idek 39. Long or short hair: ive had both but long hair is such a chore so short bc i have like medium rn 40. Do you have a crush on someone: who needs that when ur already married to henry cavill but chris powell, drake, the prince, maxwell, dick grayson, jason todd... 41. What do you like about yourself: i DID like my eyebrows smh its ok theyll grow back 42. Piercings: lol i didnt even get my ears pierced so none 43. Blood type: who are u identity theft fuk off m8 44. Nickname: CATLYN, kk, kalina bc me and my friend have a 824 snap streak and its our #goals ship name 45. Relationship status: single married to henry cavill i even had to organize my own wedding for a project in floral design sophomore year 46. Zodiac: cancer im a crybaby ik 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show/s: pretty little liars, grimm, young justice, the big bang theory, two broke girls, sherlock, and family feud lmao 49. Tattoos: i want somethin smol but not yet 50. Right or left hand: i was gonna be a lefty but my daycare person literally treated me like shit and made me use my right hand so now im a righty and she got her ass fired :)) not like i remember anything tho lmao

51. Surgery: ortho surgery bc my mouth was too small and my teeth were so fucked up but braces gave me a glo up lol 52. Hair dyed in different color: omg no but i have these rly cool brown streaks on the side of my head and its also underneath my hair but its rly pretty ppl always ask me about it bc its like genetic idk its cool 53. Sport: i fucking live for watching football om Fg

55. Vacation: im guessing this is where ive been?? so uh hawaii, florida, mississippi, louisiana (and bish i been to shreveport, louisiana home of my boi jake mckenzie dshfjs), texas aka my home, las vegas, california, cozumel, jamaica, belize, and soon the bahamas!! 56. Pair of trainers: oh my god i have like 30+ pairs of shoes i love shoes!!

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: nothing rn i ate steak for dinner tho 58. Drinking: water! 59. I’m about to: start watching a youtube video 61. Waiting for: my bday party w my friends on wednesday (lowkey those choices chapters too i wish my bb chris powell could wish me happy bday :’)) 62. Want: a BIG FAT bank account 63. Get married: to a nice rich husband yuh finished the sentence

64. Career: im a senior in hs and i got accepted into my pharm tech class aaaah were gonna get to go to hospitals and and wear scrubs and shit im so excited i wanna be a pharmacist or like somewhere in the med field bc they make BANK and also they help ppl :’)) 65. Hugs or kisses: from my future bb kisses 66. Lips or eyes: eyes yus 67. Shorter or taller: im 5′5 so im smol and theyre tol 68. Older or younger: mmm i prefer older but only like a year younger if theyre worth it dhfgsk 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: this is so hard but arms bc abs arent a requirement but arms,,,, yes 71. Sensitive or loud: how am i both sensitive and loud (tru) 72. Hook up or relationship: lol relationship i want it all 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant but troublemaker when im feelin big mood

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: uh kinda 75. Drank hard liquor: not yET LMAOOO 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope 77. Turned someone down: jkasjdf lowkey yeah 78. Sex in the first date: no omfg sfdhgj 79. Broken someone’s heart: wym 24/7 lmao jk no 80. Had your heart broken: by many fanfics lord lol 81. Been arrested: nonoono 82. Cried when someone died: im making animals count so yes 83. Fallen for a friend: almost but skrtskrr were still friends

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: if i try really hard YUH 85. Miracles: 11:11 twice a day for extra good luck yuh 86. Love at first sight: lol no 87. Santa Claus: yeah until i was like 14 88. Kiss on the first date: YUH WHY NOT if theyre not shit 89. Angels: meh not really

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: omg irl alina and caroline my bbs and online @evisms i rly love u,, so much 91. Eyecolor: brown 92. Favorite movie: the man from uncle that ive seen 7 times!!, wonder woman!!, ex machina, hidden figures, coraline, and moana

im not gonna tag anyone bc prolly the entire choices population has done this but hit it up if u wanna!!