#i am mostly joking i will watch the new season but I will be Overwhelmingly disappointed like So fucking disappointed

[doodlebloo]

Ok well if they reset and do Dream SMP season 2 I may not care about it because Michael_Beloved wont be there. Everybody else have fun

[thecrazyanimegirl]

Fall anime 2020

And wow, it’s the last season of 2020! May the new year be a lot better, not just anime related!

{ Winter ‘18 }  { Spring ‘18 }  { Summer ‘18 }  { Fall ‘18 }  { Winter ‘19 } { Spring ‘19 }  { Summer ‘19 }  { Fall ‘19 }  { Winter ‘20 }  { Spring ‘20 } { Summer ‘20 }

Alongside the continuations and new seasons like fire force, danmachi,  mahouka koukou no rettousei, golden kamuy and so, these are the new shows that we started:

100-man no Inochi no Ue ni Ore wa Tatteiru 

It is pretty typical isekai anime, just that it has twist and they can go back to their world every time they do a quest. I could see potential in characters and their development, but they aren’t kind of characters I would care about or watch something with meh plot for. Maybe they are building up for something cool, but for now, it was kind of boring for me.

Akudama Drive 

Overwhelmingly cool show about criminals in a dystopian future world. There is not much to say about the story without spoiling other than being so unnecessary cool that I loved it an unnatural amount! The characters, the setting, the action scenes, the animation and conversations, everything is just so aesthetic! I looked forward to it every week! Gonna miss them a lot. Just beware of a lot of violence and blood scenes (even though they are mostly censored).

By the Grace of the Gods 

A really soft isekai with a boy who tames slimes. This is that one (at least) show of the season where you can just turn off your brain, watch some cuteness and forget about everything. It comes with no strings attached, you can drop it halfway and not think twice about it, it won’t make you feel bad in any way, just happiness and rainbows, and sometimes that’s what I need.

Hypnosis Mic -Division Rap Battle- Rhyme Anima 

Women rule the world and pretty boys rap to assert dominance. That’s it, that’s the premise and if you think that ridiculous, yes, it truly is haha If you want to have a laugh, listen to some rapping (can’t say much about the quality of it, but I enjoyed it immensely, good va’s!), go watch it. The plot quality is debatable to say the least, but it’s not really an anime about the story, rather about the 12+ guys and their friendships and rivals and well... rap.

Ikebukuro West Gate Park 

Although a little bit on the improbable side to happen IRL, Ikebukuro WGP showcases multiple situations where we dive behind the back of many realistic happenings in bigger cities. There is always some company in conflict with another thinking solving it in their way is the best possible choice, not taking into consideration what happens to the little people bearing their consequences. It is of course up to the “good mafia” guys to solve it. If you are reading the Webtoon Weak Hero and are in search for some more realistic gang divisions, then feel free to give this anime a try. It has a pretty lovable and crafty MC minus the high-school setting.

Jujutsu Kaisen

Ohh my where to start xD yes, you are looking at the fan favorite anime of this season and there is no doubt about it having that title. I can go on and try to convince everyone saying it has the perfect animation, soundtrack, appearance of the characters and so on but to truly experience it, you will have to watch it. Character development is on the slower track but it is understandable since it is obvious that the series will be a “long distance runner”. What impressed me the most is the perfect balance of humor and tragedy, so if you are one to typically enjoy shonen anime, give it definitely a try through the 3 episodes rule!

Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear 

A girl got isekai’d in a game and now finds friends and people she cares about. Oh and she’s in a bear suit. This was one of those shows I watched for relaxation. There are no bad emotions coming from it and you can just relax, watch something that doesn’t need you to turn on your brain and try to be happy. If you are looking for something serious, you won’t really find it here.

Majo no Tabitabi 

A witch that travels the world, visiting many cities and meeting a lot of people, hearing their stories and moving on. Not action packed, but has things happening throughout the eps. I thought it would be another happy show, but it turned to be quite dark in some episodes. Most episodes have their separate story with minimal connection to the previous ones and some are heartwarming and some are downright grim. Overall, the plot is interesting and the MCs development and way of thinking is interesting too! 

Maoujou de Oyasumi

I KNEW this one is gonna be good when I first read the description of the manga in the bookstore 2 years ago xD What you see above is a small princess who wishes nothing more than a good sleep and a bunch of demons who decided to capture her. It becomes clear early on that she isn’t your typical prisoner as she sets out on quests to find stuff to make her rest more comfortable and NOTHING is gonna stand in her way. Your time watching this anime will be filled with heartfelt laughter and love for the all the characters. Yes, some people might be triggered by her actions and personality but I do believe since I (as a person who prefers to watch shonen) am impressed with it, a great number of people will like it.

Munou na Nana

I really love this anime. MC is an antagonist, pretty much an antihero, but she was made to believe that she is the hero. She is very smart, so anything she plots end up interesting. This show always keeps me on the end of my seat. And it’s a great combination of everyone has supernatural abilities + high school setting, but with a darker twist to it. It’s one of my favorites this season! 

Noblesse

I read the webtoon and I am fan of it, so I am really happy to see Noblesse became an anime! Characters are really awesome and plot is action packed. I’m sure you won’t regret watching it! The humor, the lore and the action is very well balanced and it’s just a good story. If you feel like you really like the anime, but something is missing and you have some time, the webtoon is amazing! Of course, they actually did the anime quite well, but some jokes or additional train of thought that goes in the characters head cannot be all transferred into the animation. Oh and - watch Noblesse: Awakening before this! That’s like the crash course of the first arc of the story.

Taiso Samurai 

A MAPPA anime about a japanese gymnast on the verge of retirement, his daughter and a ninja they adopted! That about covers it! It’s a soft and heartwarming story that really leaves a good feeling after watching it. The characters are lovable and the drama side of the story levels out with humor pretty well, without glossing over stuff too much. I can’t say much about the sports aspect since I don’t know much, but it was worth the watch even though it isn’t the most amazing action-packed anime ever. But it was a solid story, good charas and was just soft.

With a Dog AND a Cat, Every Day is Fun

One and a half minute of a lady with a cat and a dog being incredibly relatable.

Yuukoku no Moriarty

Ah yes, I’m a sucker for every possible variation of sherlock homes, so it’s no wonder how much I enjoyed this. It’s centered about Moriarty, but Sherlock has his time in the later half of the show. The animation is just so beautiful, I loved the stories and mysteries and the way they handled Moriarty as a character. Also a good mixture of mystery, people being hideous creatures, main characters being pretty af and humor. I should continue to the manga now.

Dropped: MAGATSU WAHRHEIT, The Day I Became a God   

[les-belles-infideles]

What happened with Kora @princesshamlet: A start at contextualizing the events of the past week

While I am writing this because Kora expressed that they would like it if someone would post something contextualizing what happened, I do not speak for them; my opinions and perspective are my own. I think the general response has been wildly disproportionate to their actual words and actions. Let me know if you have questions about anything or if my writing style is hard to read and I’ll do my best to clarify.

Tl;dr: Last fall, Kora, a new Supernatural fan, started rewriting Supernatural to be more racially diverse and to more overtly address social issues such as homophobia and misogyny. They continually asked for feedback, particularly from POC, and received overwhelmingly positive responses.

Earlier this week, Kora posted something that unintentionally played into ideas that harm trans men. They were horrified to have hurt people, immediately apologized and made an effort to learn more about the issues involved.

Yesterday, some of Kora’s friends cut them off, presumably over the abovementioned. Some people read Kora’s Supernatural rewrite and were offended by portrayals of various ethnicities; Kora tried to learn from these criticisms and apologize for them. People organized to spread bad-faith, extremely hostile claims and Kora left Tumblr.

Background:

- last fall, Kora started watching Supernatural, and posting about it, including making some popular reaction videos and an elaborate summary of the events of season 16 as of mid-November. They got really attached to Cas as a character and DeanCas as a ship.

- Kora made a post along the lines of “what if I drew Castiel as Indian?” and got encouraging responses, so they made a drawing. A lot of Desi people left comments saying that they really liked the drawing and that the representation was meaningful to them, so Kora started posting and reblogging a lot more about recasting Supernatural to be racially diverse.

- Kora accumulates a lot of ideas around how they wish Supernatural had been, and starts casually writing it up into a story. It didn’t even have a title for the first few chapters, but it quickly amassed a small, enthusiastic following.

- I started reading it at first mostly as a way of getting to know Kora, who was at the time a new friend irl (they didn’t mean to give me their Tumblr; I had followed them for Hamlet and Star Trek posts and then recognized them when they posted a selfie) but wound up getting pretty invested. I started watching Supernatural despite the fact that I can pretty much never commit to finishing a TV show.

- Kora’s general strategy was to post ideas on Tumblr and get input before including them in the fic, particularly regarding race and ethnicity. Plenty of people gave them feedback -- I remember one really long conversation where people swapped headcanons about what music a Mexican-American Dean Winchester would have liked growing up.

- iirc, they actively collaborated with multiple Latine fans of the fic on one chapter that foregrounded Mexican-American culture. These fans are credited in an author’s note.

- they received substantial encouragement from Supernatural fans of color for how they were writing the fic, and afaik no negative feedback.

- they also used the fic as a way to discuss and joke about their personal experiences with misogyny, repression, and homophobia, including writing Dean Winchester as undergoing a character arc involving working through and overcoming severe homophobia. When we called recently, they described going from homophobic to not homophobic as “the best character arc a man can have.”

- afaik they had beta readers or at least people to run ideas by for most chapters.

First incident:

- earlier this week, Kora posted a somewhat poorly-worded vent post about Dean Winchester’s misogyny in Supernatural canon.

- I think I reblogged it because I don’t have super high standards for my SPN blog and yeah, afaict Dean said some pretty gross things in canon? I’d seen a lot of people talk about it, particularly Asian women, it’s clearly a thing.

- several people expressed hurt at the post’s wording, which could be read as bigoted against trans men.

- Kora immediately apologized and started looking for ways to learn more about trans men’s issues (afaict, mostly asking friends and going through the trans dean tag)

- they messaged me about it (Tuesday 4/13/2021), and I took a closer look at the post and explained how in isolation it looked harmless, but some of the rhetoric fit into wider patterns of transandrophobia, i.e. part of the impetus for this post was Kora being surprised that some of their trans male friends project onto Dean, since he’s a pretty bad role model for gender -- I pointed out that one way trans men are marginalized within queer movements is by people perpetuating the idea that we’re more misogynistic than cis men (which makes no sense), and their post could be read as playing into that trope (that reading had occurred to me when I first saw the post, but I had initially dismissed it because Kora and I had been spending a lot of time talking about gender and I never felt that they distrusted me or saw me as a threat).

- they made another hasty apology post, quoting my message to them.

- I encouraged them not to worry too much about what strangers online thought about them, but they were very insistent that they had hurt people and needed to learn and make amends.

- I think what happened next was that the conversation sparked a larger discussion about transandrophobia in the Supernatural fandom? I’m not sure about this though, I was off Tumblr most of Tuesday and Wednesday. I saw a few well-written posts refuting the idea that it was misogynistic to headcanon Dean as trans. I did not see anyone claim it was misogynistic to headcanon Dean as trans, but again, I wasn’t looking.

The Discourse™:

- yesterday, Kora started getting a lot more and a lot meaner messages.

- a large part of their social circle cut them off all at once, saying they felt unsafe and that Kora was transphobic. Kora did not/was unable to receive further clarification, while actively seeking the chance to learn more and repair harm done.

- someone made a dedicated hate tag for them.

- a new group of people read their Supernatural rewrite, and were offended by their portrayals of race and their writing about homophobia, and additionally mocking their writing style. The tone was often extremely mean-spirited.

- Kora responded to and apologized for some of the concerns around their portrayal of race, and refuted some of the bad-faith readings of their depictions of homophobia.

- Kora made an effort to understand what they had done wrong but a lot of the posts weren’t very specific.

- some of the claims got fucking wild. A lot of them involved taking stuff out of context. I think w*ncest got brought up at one point???

- Kora wrote another apology and took a break from Tumblr, on the advice of another friend.

- I spent like a day gearing up to write this because I vastly underestimated the speed at which Tumblr discourse moves.

[chipper9906]

Heal The Cracks Within My Heart - Chapter 2: Rubble and Ruins

<- - - Previous Chapter

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR LOKI SEASON 1 EPISODE 6 ‘FOR ALL TIME. ALWAYS.’

Pairings: Loki/Sylvie

Rating: General Audiences

Chapter Word Count: 12,627

Overall Word Count: 24,700 (In Progress)

Status: Multi Chapter Fic - In Progress (2/?)

Chapter Preview: 

“You know what would be nice? If we at least once got to kiss without either of us crying. Two for two’s a bit odd, isn’t it?”

He had thrown the joke out there in some sort of an attempt to lighten the mood. That’s not to say that he wanted to divert from this conversation, but more because of the way he could see that Sylvie was sinking back into her memory of that day, and he knew that would lead to no good. Nothing but self-blame and a whole lot of regrets - as seemed usual for nearly every decision a Loki has made in their life.

But the attempt at a joke did not get a laugh out of Sylvie. Not even a smile. Instead, he felt his heart leap into his throat at the way her eyes - that were still boring deep into his soul - flickered down to his lips, lingering there for just a moment before returning back to his intense gaze.

“We’re not crying now.”

Link To Fic

OR

Click Below To Keep Reading

Miiphus was one of the smaller planets that existed within the universe. At least, smaller than most other planets from its neighboring systems, to the point where the entire population of this one planet was probably equal to around the population size of one city on any other planet. 

It had its charms, though. For one, those that were born and lived on this planet got to experience the whole ‘small town’ vibe that was lost to time to many civilizations as time went on and the population grew and grew. That kind of scenario where you personally knew everyone in the village, almost as well as you knew your own family. Hell, everyone practically was family. It was vital for this kind of small community for everyone to help each other, for everyone to treat one another like family. It was the only way to survive. 

This… was not the impression the two of them received as they first stepped onto Miiphus, however. At least, certainly not for Loki. The very first moment he stepped out from that Time Door, he had to pause to take a moment and absorb the horror of what they'd walked into. Sylvie was striding on ahead, apparently with a destination in mind and, apparently, not being phased at all by what surrounded them. 

It was… complete and utter destruction. There wasn’t a single step he could take without stepping on rubble, of whatever remained of a family’s home that once stood proud and tall, sheltering its occupants within. Whatever the city once was, was now reduced to nothing but smoldering debris, and — to his horror — the occasional charred body laying about, their clothes now pieces of blackened rags that clung to soot covered bones and whatever bits of burnt flesh that hadn’t completely succumbed to the heat. The white color of their bones stood out amongst the debris, shining in the dark night as the glow of the five moons over their heads shone down.

“What is this place?”

“Miiphus,” Sylvie answered dutifully from ahead of him. “Fourth planet in the Dioscuri System. This is -- was -- pretty much the only city it’s people had built.”

“Are you sure the Apocalypse event hasn’t happened already?” Loki called out to Sylvie, resuming his pace and chasing after her once he realized how far ahead she had gotten already.

“Certain,” Sylvie asserts, glancing over her shoulder to make sure he was keeping up. “If you think this is bad… just wait.”

Loki didn’t know where to look. He didn’t even know if he wanted to look. There’s only so many tiny, child-sized corpses that were holding onto the remains of their parents — families frozen in that one moment of terror — that he can take before his violently turning stomach threatens to empty its contents.

Which, now he thinks about it, would probably be nothing more than bile. He couldn’t even remember the last time he ate…

Billows of ash were kicked up into the air with every step they took, careful not to tread upon a loose skull here and there. His lungs burned with every inhale, not just for the soot that was starting to cover them, but with the knowledge he was breathing in more than just soot. How much of this ash was compromised of the remenants of this planet's people? How much peeling skin, flakes of bone, and burnt organs were filling his lungs?

“Don’t think about it,” Sylvie’s voice, thankfully, snaps him out of his thoughts. He had seemingly come to a stop without realizing it, and Sylvie stood watching him with a knowing look. “It’s not worth dwelling on. There’s nothing we can do.”

Loki swallows thickly, his throat feeling tight and restricted. He tries his best to follow Sylvie’s advice, keeping his gaze from wandering over to his surroundings. He keeps his eyes focused on the back of Sylvie, following her lead as she guides them out of the ruined city. Despite his attempts not to let his eyes wander, he can’t help but take the occasional glance whenever they entered a new street. The consistent level of damage inflicted upon each building was almost impressive when he thought about it from a different viewpoint. Or, at least, the viewpoint he once had. Turns out, all it takes is to be imprisoned by an overwhelmingly powerful organization that dictates all of time and decides that you don’t have the right to exist in their universe for him to change his mind about the allure of control over others. 

It’s of a great relief when he sees the buildings around them becoming sparser and sparser, appreciating the lungfuls of fresh air he was breathing in as the city landscape gradually changed to flattened farmlands. “Do we even need to hide in Apocalypses anymore?” Loki asks, jogging forward to reach Sylvie, walking side-by-side. “I mean, what with everything going on, I doubt us being in the wrong place is going to show up on their radar anymore.”

“Maybe not,” Sylvie agrees — or so Loki thinks. “Or maybe now that there’s an infinite amount of TVA’s out there, it might be best to assume they could know more than we do — especially if He Who Remains is in charge of them — and He himself could be doing all he could to hunt us down, and kill us; just like we’re trying to do to him.”

“Right…” Loki mumbled awkwardly, scratching at the back of his head. “Um... if that is the case, then… what if some of the TVA’s have already figured out that we’re hiding in Apocalypses? I’m sure if I could figure it out, then-,”

Sylvie came to a sudden stop with a tired-sounding sigh, holding out an arm to stop him mid-stride. He did so, looking around to see if she had spotted something he hadn’t noticed. “You could be right. Thing is, we really don’t know. We don’t know anything, it feels like. Everything that could happen, could happen; it’s already happened, or it’s about to happen, or… or…. or I don’t know. But what I do know is that hiding in Apocalypse’s has worked in keeping me alive for the past thousand years or so, so I’m going to keep doing that until it doesn’t.”

Sylvie didn’t even wait to hear his reaction, carrying on forward and leaving him standing there for a few seconds staring at the space she just was. Loki shakes his head, bringing himself back to reality and chasing after her once more. 

“I’m going to apologize in advance for all the questions, because I know they’re annoying-,” Loki begins, and it at least gets a huffed exhale of laughter from Sylvie. “-And I don’t mean to sound like I doubt your navigational skills but… how do you know where we’re going?”

The mostly flat farmland had given way to more of a hilly, uneven terrain, spotted with the occasional stubby tree that probably provided hikers and nearby farmers with much-needed shade in the heat of the day. 

“Because I’ve been here before,” Sylvie’s voice comes out breathy, the two of them slightly winded by the up and down climb of the land. She had come to a stop at the top of the hill, taking the time to catch her breath as she waits for Loki to reach her side. He reaches the top only a few moments after, bending over to place his hands on his thighs and take in deep lungfuls of air that his body was demanding, the cool night air freezing as he inhales sharply through his teeth. 

The movement of her hand out of the corner of his eye catches his attention, glancing up to see her gesturing at the valley below them. Not that he needed for her to point it out; it was kind of hard to miss the multiple rows of tents that were nestled into the valley, stretching as far as the eye could see. Small campfires were dotted between the tents, and he could just about make out the sight of people milling about the place, evidently enjoying each other’s company despite the late hour. 

“What am I looking at?” Loki asks, slowing straightening himself back up to a stand. 

Sylvie turns her head to look at him, a sad smile on her lips at his question. “The last of this planet’s people.”

This was… this was it? All that he could see, to the ends of the horizon… an entire planet’s population reduced to numbers that could fit in a single area he could see from a few miles away. The quiet of the night had never seemed so eerie now, looking down to what he knew was likely the last night of an entire planet’s existence. 

“Come on,” Sylvie says softly, the delicate touch of her fingers against his hands a welcoming comfort. She gives his hand a light pull, a request to keep moving, and he follows after her without much thought. He wasn’t too sure why, but the idea of going towards all these people and intermixing with them felt like… like they would be intruding. The TemPad wrapped around Sylvie’s hand was a guarantee that they’d get out of this, that they’d hop away to yet another world and leave this one far behind. But for these people, it was their very last night. It almost felt like… like they were mocking them. 

They closed the distance far too quickly for Loki’s liking, the glow of the multiple campfires growing stronger and stronger as they approached. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Loki whispered lowly to Sylvie. “Won’t they notice us?”

“They won’t care,” Sylvie assured him. “They’ve already lost so many people; the idea of strangers doesn’t exist to them anymore. They’re just happy to see someone that's…”

“-Alive,” Loki finishes her sentence grimly, grimacing as he looks around to the last of the survivors. 

Sure enough, as the two of them weave through the small gathered crowds of friends, families, neighbors, everyone, people barely bat an eyelid at them. There are a few occasional curious glances, accompanied by whispers of a language he does not know, but they soon turn back to the fires they were huddled around, absorbing the warmth the flickering flames provided. 

Loki feels some of the tension building in his shoulders drop away as they manage to find a somewhat secluded spot at the other end of this refugee settlement, sitting just at the edge between the mass of makeshift tents and the seemingly infinite stretch of wilderness beyond. It seemed that whatever group that had been situated around this fire had retired for the night, the last of the flames flickering pathetically in the blackened pile of wood and ashes left behind. Loki gives a quick glance around to their surroundings, making sure no one was watching as he guides his magic towards the fire, encouraging its flames to become rekindled. 

“Impressive,” Sylvie remarks at the sight of the newly born flames that roared to life, their color briefly a light shade of green as they’re created under the effects of his magic. It lasts for less than a second, though – not long enough for anyone lingering nearby to notice the strangely green-colored fire before it’s returned to its usual comforting orange glow. 

“It’s a neat little party trick,” Loki comments with a sly smile, taking a seat on one of the logs that had been rolled over to the fire. It felt as uncomfortable as it looked. “I might have set fire to Thor’s cape a few times while I was learning it.”

Sylvie rolls her eyes at him, though the small smile pulling at the corner of her lips gave away her amusement. “And they were entirely accidents, I’m sure.”

Loki grins unashamedly at her as she drops down next to him with a tired-sounding huff, rolling her shoulders back in an attempt to alleviate some of the built-up tension. She grimaces at the soreness of her muscles –particularly in the stiffness of her neck – bending it left and right to try and work out some of those knots. 

She nearly jumps to her feet at the feeling of hands on her shoulders, making the pain even worse as she whips her head around to see who was touching her. She supposed she shouldn’t be too surprised to see it had been Loki, who looked about as startled at her reaction as she had felt at his touch, already having removed his hands from her as if he had touched a boiling hot stove. 

“Sorry,” He says, eyes wide as saucers as he holds his hands out in front of him in a clear message that he wasn’t going to touch her. “I… probably should have asked first.”

“What were you even trying to do?” Sylvie asks, placing a hand on the spot of her shoulders where his hands were moments ago. 

“...Trying to give you a massage?” Loki states like it were obvious – which for most, it probably would be. “It’s just, you kind of looked like you needed it, and I thought maybe you’d…” Loki trails off awkwardly, clearing his throat as his gaze drops away from her inquisitive one. “Never mind. It was a stupid idea-,”

"No, don't apologize, it's..." Sylvie begins to explain. “Sometimes, it’s just… hard to switch off that paranoia. Nearly every close call I had running from the TVA was because I let myself relax too much — let my guard down in times I thought I was safe.”

Loki nods in understanding, but the guilt still had yet to leave his face. He held his hands in his lap like he wasn’t too sure what to do with them now, tapping his fingers against his arm in a nervous repetition. 

Sylvie sighed quietly to herself, wondering how exactly it is that they managed to find a way to make every single quiet moment between them awkward in some kind of way. Then again, in their defense, this wasn’t exactly something they had done before. Flirting with strangers she had no intention of getting to know was something she had learned quickly as she grew older within apocalypse after apocalypse. Truthfully, it was easy. Turns out it doesn’t take much coercing to get someone into your bed when the world is crumbling apart around you. A few looks, a few suggestions here and there, the constant reiteration that this would be their last night on the planet, and BAM — yet another mark to add to the tally of her body count. The non-murder one, she means. 

But… it wasn’t like that with Loki. She had no plans to seduce him, get her fill, and be gone before they even got the chance to know her name. What she had with Loki was... something she had never had before. Something didn’t know she had even wanted before. Whilst there was no denying that the most physical side of her attraction to him resulted in the same kind of, um… cravings that were just as prevalent as all her other romantic endeavors, she had never felt this… this more emotional attraction. He understood her like no one ever could — more than she understands herself, it sometimes felt like. And as much as she feels she too understands him, she’s overtaken by this desire to know more. She wants to know everything about the man sat by her side, down to the pointless stuff like what his favorite color is. She wants to know what it feels like to have his hands on her body, and for her to welcome it, not jump three feet in the air and have to fight back the urge to take a swing. She wants to know what it’s like to open her eyes every morning, and feel her heart race not from fear but from exhilaration and contentedness at the sight of him laying next to her, instead of yet another stranger. 

She wanted… him. Every part of him, from the good to the ugly. Long ago, she had accepted that she would live her life with only herself for company. And now? Now, she found it next to impossible to envision a scenario where he wasn’t by her side. 

Except now, it seemed that she had knocked any and all confidence that Loki might have once had, and the moment was fading from view before it had even gotten the chance to start. She bit down the frustrated groan she wanted to release, feeling like she had just kicked a puppy with how dejected Loki looked. 

“Promise me this won’t stop you.”

Loki glances up in surprise at her words. “Promise you… what?”

“I know I’m not…” Sylvie’s face scrunched up as she tried to think of a way to put this. “I’m not the easiest person to get along with. And I know that it’s even harder when we’re…” She struggled to find the right word, opting instead to gesture between them with a flail of her hand. 

Loki stared back at her with one rather judgemental-looking eyebrow raised. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to be a bit more concise than that-,”

“I’m trying to say that I don’t want you to stop trying,” Sylvie got out in a rush, the flush of heat to her cheeks a sensation she hadn’t felt in quite some time. “All of this is super new to me, and yeah, it might take me some time to get used to it. But I will. So long as you-,”

“-Keep trying,” Loki finished for her with the subtlest twitch at the corner of his lips. “I think I can do that.”

“Good,” Sylvie sniffled, trying not to act as awkward as she felt, playing off the redness that had spread across her face as heat rash from the fire. “Just so we’re on the same page.”

Loki couldn’t help but chuckle softly to himself at her failed attempts to act nonchalant, not withering In the slightest at her light-hearted glare. “So… do I try and give you a massage again, or…”

Her glare only strengthened. “You can be an incredibly infuriating man at times, I hope you know that.”

“Oh, I’m very aware,” Loki replied. “But I also feel it adds a bit to my charm, don’t you?”

“Hmm… I’ll have to get back to you on that one,” Sylvie said, stretching out her limbs in the direction of the fire, savoring the warmth that radiated from it. What she didn’t notice was that, as she stared into the beauty of the flickering flames and spitting golden embers, Loki’s eyes were still fixated on her, enjoying a different type of beauty — though one that was no less mesmerizing: the light from the fire bouncing off her face, casting shades of soft oranges and reds that battled with the shadows of night and the sharp bright light from the moons overhead. 

“Sometimes I can’t believe you’re another version of me,” Loki wonders out loud, resting his chin in his hands as he continues to drink her in. 

Sylvie cocks an eyebrow at him, regarding him out of the corner of her eye. “And why’s that?”

“Because you’re just so…” Loki paused, and the trailing end of his sentence was enough to arouse Sylvie’s suspicions - though she still waited patiently for him to finish his thoughts. As someone who prided himself on his choice of words and rather extensive vocabulary, he suddenly found himself devoid of words. Really, there was only one word echoing around in his head as he looked to her, and… and maybe he was overthinking all of this. Maybe the simpler option was the best.

“Because I’m…?” Sylvie tried to get him to continue his sentence, the playful smile on her face hinting that she was expecting Loki to say something insulting here in an attempt to rile her up. 

“Beautiful,” Loki’s voice was soaked in a softness he didn’t even know he could reach. It was clear Sylvie wasn’t expecting this answer, the teasing smile on her face dropping away to a look of genuine shock. “Although, I’m sure you know that already, and I’m sure I’m not the first person to tell you that, but-,” And there he went, rambling away again. She just seemed to have that effect on him. 

The touch of her hand on his knee was enough to bring his ramblings to a stuttering stop, effectively drying up any words he were to speak - or, at least, any words that actually made some sort of sense. 

“It’s the first time I’ve heard it from someone that matters,” Sylvie tells him. 

Loki smiles, placing his hand atop hers on his knee. “Then I’ll be sure to say it more often,” He says it like a promise — one he fully intends to keep. 

There was that part of her, a part she’s sure will always be buried deep within, that was telling her to stop all of this. It was one of self-preservation, needing to be cruel to prevent the heartache later down the road. It was hard to shake off the years of saying goodbye to every person she’s ever crossed paths with, only getting to know people for the briefest of times before they’re obliterated from the universe. She learned fairly quickly that it was better to stay away and live a lonely life than one of single-day friendships and infinite, painful goodbyes. 

Even now, after all that’s happened, it still remains there. It was all supposed to end with her sword plunged into the chest of whoever ran the TVA, and she had done that. And yet… here she was again, running from the TVA and creating yet another plan to take out their leader again. Oh, and there were multiple versions of him somewhere out there, most likely already out on a quest of conquest. There was even a chance that He already knew of them, from where some form of the TVA out there hot on their tails having reported these two stubborn variants in possession of TVA equipment to their all-powerful leader

Well… at least she didn’t have to go it alone this time. Even with that voice screaming at her to get away from Loki as fast as possible, to separate herself from him before those already messy, judgment-clouding feelings only grow all the more messier, and all the more stronger. No, this time, it was different. This time, she would not listen to that voice. She would allow herself to have these moments, of his touch on her, and she’d…. she’d let herself want this — because God’s help her, she does.

“Wait, hang on a minute,” Sylvie starts, narrowing her eyes at him in amusement. “What you just said… are you insinuating you don’t find yourself beautiful? You? You’re a Loki -- narcissism is what makes us!”

“Well, I’m not sure if beautiful is the word I’d use…” Loki said. “Perhaps ‘dashingly handsome’ or perhaps even ‘dapper’, or something along those lines. But… it’s also ‘beauty in the eye of the beholder' and all that, is it not?”

Sylvie somehow manages to pack a whole lot of sarcasm into her hum of agreement. “Kind of sounds like you’re just trying to fish for compliments now.”

“Is it working?”

“Afraid not.”

Loki ‘tsked’ with a click of his tongue, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “You should know better than to lie to someone who does it professionally, Sylvie.”

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?”

“I saw the way you looked at me back on Lamentis,” Loki said, getting a confused eyebrow raise from Sylvie. “In that little mining cabin? I couldn’t quite figure out if you were going to threaten me to get the TemPad, or seduce me.”

Sylvie’s snort of laughter chipped a tiny bit of his ego off. “I was trying to enchant you. Needed to find some way to get close enough to you without getting a knife in my throat.”

“And seduction was the best way to go about that?” Loki exclaimed.

Sylvie shrugged her shoulders. “Worked before.”

Loki wasn’t too sure why the thought of Sylvie looking at others in the way he had looked at her made him feel quite so bitter. Actually, that was a lie. He knew exactly why he was feeling like that. He just didn’t like to admit that the claws of jealousy had dug in quite so deep. 

“Well, now I feel like I owe you a compliment, what with you looking so downcast,” Sylvie said, giving his shoulder a playful nudge with her own. 

“Only if you mean it,” Loki grumbled, flicking out a hand to cast a bit more of his magic to revitalize the dying flames of the fire. 

“You know, there’s a reason I kissed you back in the citadel-” Sylvie began, only for Loki to quickly interject. 

“Oh, well I had assumed it was due to me pouring my heart out to you; unless me becoming a crying mess suddenly made me irresistible to you-”

“Would you at least let me finish what I was saying?” Sylvie shoved his shoulder perhaps a little bit harder than she should have, nearly sending Loki sprawling off the log. “Look, I could give you the usual compliments, with the -- what were the ones you used? Dashingly handsome and what not?”

“But… you won’t?”

“No, I won’t. But not because I don’t think them, but because… because whatever this is-” Sylvie gestured with a hand between them. “-It goes deeper than all that.”

“Ah…” Loki said quietly, looking away to the fire with a nod of his head. “You know, the whole ‘beauty is on the inside’ thing is what people say to ugly people.”

Sylvie did all she could to bury down the urge to shove him into the fire. “All right, you want the truth?”

Loki perked up at that, looking back over to Sylvie in anticipation. 

“Have you ever heard the term ‘the eyes are the windows into the soul?’” Sylvie asked, getting a somewhat confused-looking nod in response. “You’re a very skilled man, Loki. Especially in the art of manipulation, and deceit. You somehow find a way to twist everything you say, to turn serious conversations into a game – one where somehow you always end up on top, knowing everything you set out to discover, without the other person even realizing they’ve lost. I’ve seen the sharp wit of your thoughts reflected in your eyes when we first met, and you were trying to play that very same game with me. I’ve seen the… cruel humor shining in them as you fight, the enjoyment you find in inflicting that kind of pain.”

Sylvie’s eyes were boring deep into his as she spoke, and Loki wondered what exactly his eyes were giving away in this very moment. 

“But when we were in that citadel? When you were begging for me to stop, and I had my blade held to your throat? I saw none of that in your eyes. No ulterior motives, no trickery. Just… you. You, bearing the entire truth, and it didn’t even matter how much conviction your words held. I saw it all in your eyes, anyway. And that’s when I knew, I…” Sylvie huffed out a quiet laugh. “I was doomed. I couldn’t kill you. And I didn’t want to hurt you, either. But I knew that I was going to have to if it meant keeping you safe. Even from me.”

“And so you kissed me,” Loki said. 

“And so I kissed you,” Sylvie echoed softly. “Because I knew I needed to say goodbye, and because… because it was the only way I knew how to say that I felt the same.”

Loki looked down to the ground, sliding his tongue across his upper lip unconsciously before he spoke. “You know what would be nice? If we at least once got to kiss without either of us crying. Two for two’s a bit odd, isn’t it?”

He had thrown the joke out there in some sort of an attempt to lighten the mood. That’s not to say that he wanted to divert from this conversation, but more because of the way he could see that Sylvie was sinking back into her memory of that day, and he knew that would lead to no good. Nothing but self-blame and a whole lot of regrets - as seemed usual for nearly every decision a Loki has made in their life. 

But the attempt at a joke did not get a laugh out of Sylvie. Not even a smile. Instead, he felt his heart leap into his throat at the way her eyes — that were still boring deep into his soul — flickered down to his lips, lingering there for just a moment before returning back to his intense gaze. 

“We’re not crying now.”

It was as clear an invitation as any. And yet, the thought of leaning in and closing the distance between them still filled his body with uncertainty and hesitation. Not because he didn’t want to  — in fact, just how much he did want to was all kinds of terrifying with how much it overwhelmed him — but because… truth be told, he was scared of messing this all up. Both times they’ve kissed, he had let her take control. She had been the one to make that first step, to reach out to him and let their lips slide together. She had been the initiator, and he had been the eager and willing participant. 

Now though, that didn’t seem to be the case. The tension was building between them with every passing second, and he knew full well that Sylvie was doing all she could to say ‘Kiss me, you idiot’ without actually saying anything out loud. And yet, that fear remained that he’ll step over the line, push her boundaries too much, and… that’d be it. 

But he’d made a promise to her. He said he’d keep trying, no matter what. 

So he kept his promise. 

Loki leaned forward, pausing a hairs-breadth away, their lips barely brushing against each other. He gave her that opportunity, that moment where she could decide if she wanted to pull away. He gives it a beat, a single breath of anticipation against his mouth. He thinks she may start to say his name - most likely to call him an idiot - but then he swallows up her words with his lips. There was no rush to it. No in the moment, emotions on a knife’s edge, desperation to it like there had been the other times. It was just… them. She wasn’t kissing him because it was a goodbye, or a distraction, and he wasn’t kissing her in the fear that he may never see her again. It was simply because they wanted to, and because they can. 

Loki’s hand drifted up to her face, caressing the side of her jaw and leaning deeper into the kiss. Heat seemed to burn through his veins, almost as if he was actually sitting in the roaring fire nearby instead of being sat next to it. It felt like his entire body wanted to sink into it, into their kiss, into her. And, judging by the way her hand had latched onto a patch of shirt by his chest, scrunching it up so hard that he could feel the scratch of her nails against his skin, she wanted it just as much as he did. 

And… that’s when the cheering started. 

They both startled apart, ripping their hands away from one another and instinctively reaching for their weapons. It appeared that a small group of the locals had wandered over, curious to know who the newcomers were, and had walked into quite the sight. Both Loki and Sylvie wore matching red faces at the sounds of their cheers and hollering, not understanding a word of what was being spoken but understanding the teasing in their tone nonetheless. 

“Seems we’ve attracted quite the audience…” Loki murmurs to Sylvie, leaning his head towards her to keep his voice unheard from the locals. 

“They… they didn’t do this last time,” Sylvie whispers back. “No one took notice, or came over to see who I was.”

“Well, it’s not like last time, is it?” Loki spoke to Sylvie, but his eyes were cautiously trained on one of the locals who had stepped away from the group, approaching the two with a big smile on his face and an object in hand that he couldn’t identify from here. “You weren’t with me.”

They both still kept a hand on their weapons as the man approached. The man didn’t seem to take notice — and if he did, he didn’t seem to care. Like the others of this planet, he was dressed in a long robe that cut off just after the ankles, it's likely once strikingly turquoise color now covered in a layer of dust, with various rips and tears slashed into the silky looking material. The smile had yet to wipe from his face as he arrived at their fire, babbling away in whatever language it was that these people spoke. Neither had any clue as to what the man was saying, but the friendliness of his tone seeped into his words, and whilst the two of them remained somewhat wary, it did help to relax some of the tension that had been building since the man arrived. 

“I’m sorry, we… we don’t speak your language,” Loki tried speaking slowly and carefully, enunciating every syllable clearly. 

The man did look slightly taken aback by the strange language they spoke, and for a moment, the two of them wondered if they were going to have to use their blades after all. There was a good chance they might be mistaken for these people's enemies, and trying to claim your innocence when both parties don’t speak the same language was going to be quite tricky…

Thankfully, however, it didn’t seem to be the case. The man seemed to brush by the issue of them speaking an entirely different language quite quickly, plastering the beaming smile straight back onto his face after he got over his initial shock. 

“Yalti,” The man spoke one word, enunciating just as carefully as Loki had prior. He pointed a finger to himself as he spoke, prodding at his own chest. “Yalti,”

“Yalti?” Loki repeated the word, pointing at the man. It seemed to do the trick, the man’s smile somehow brightening even more. 

“Yalti!” Yalti, apparently, proclaimed, jabbing himself in the chest with even more enthusiasm. Yalti then pointed his finger to Loki, raising his eyebrows expectantly. 

“I think he wants to know your name,” Sylvie craned her head towards Loki to speak quietly, as he had before. 

“Oh, um,” Loki cleared his throat, mirroring the man’s previous actions and pointing a finger to himself. “Loki.”

“Loki?” Yalti spoke his name with great care, as if pronouncing his name wrong was of a great rudeness. “Loki!”

“Yes, Loki,” Loki repeated himself with a small chuckle, the man's enthusiasm rubbing off on him.

The two of them startled once more as Yalti shouted something to the group nearby, followed by the yell of Loki’s name. The sounds of the people’s cheers were something odd to hear, especially as they were then followed by a single word, yelled out to the night sky. 

“ LOKI! LOKI! LOKI! ”

Loki could only turn his bemused gaze over to Sylvie, who looked just as flummoxed with what was going on as he felt. 

“Perhaps they know me?” He offered, looking between all the people, that who were of a species he did not recognize. “I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…”

As the cheers began to die down, Yalti started to speak to them once more. Of course, they still didn’t know what he was saying, and whilst Yalti looked a tiny bit frustrated at the lack of communication, he still seemed to be having fun with what was going on. He reached out a hand, this time pointing his finger towards Sylvie. 

Sylvie gave the man a polite smile, pointing to herself as she answered his silent question. “Sylvie.”

“Sylvie!” Yalti gave her name the same treatment as Loki’s, passing on her name to the crowd. And, just like with Loki, they returned her name in a chorus of cheers that tugged at something within her heart. She hadn’t had many people to tell her name to. In fact, until meeting Loki, there hadn’t been that many times she had even heard it being spoken to her. And now here she was, listening to a group of survivors chant her name like she was their savior. Like she had done something good, just by being here. 

“ Sylvie! Sylvie! Sylvie!”

“This is… surreal,” Loki said, unsure whether to keep his eyes trained on the — now clearly — inebriated crowd as their cheers slowly drifted off with them as they dispersed into the night, or on Sylvie, as she watched them leave with a look that somehow both made him want to smile, yet comfort her at the same time. 

“That’s one word for it,” Sylvie utters gently. 

Whilst the rest of the group had disappeared back to wherever it was they had come from, there was one lone figure who had chosen to remain. They both watched as Yalti dropped down onto one of the other logs grouped around the fire, taking a long swig from what Loki now recognized as a canteen. Yalti took deep gulps from it, appearing to savor every last drop. Loki almost made the joke to calm down; it wasn’t the end of the world. Except… it was, and the joke didn’t seem quite so funny anymore. 

Yalti catches their stare, pulling the flask from his lips with a friendly smile. His hands go into the interior of his robes, pulling out another flask and offering it to them. Not one to pass on such a kind gesture, Loki reached out to take the flask from him, hoping the smile he gave in return showed his appreciation. 

“Really hope this isn’t poison or something…” Loki half-jokes to Sylvie as he unscrews the lid, taking a precautionary whiff of its contents. Whatever it was, it smelt strong, strong enough that he could almost taste the bitterness of it just from its smell. It was accompanied by a musty, sweet kind of odor though, the two opposites clashing yet, oddly, complimenting one another. 

Loki throws caution to the wind with a shrug of his shoulders, bringing the flask to his mouth and taking a tester sip. The beverage was, indeed, bitter overall in taste, burning as it slipped down his throat. But when he let it settle on his tongue for a moment, he could taste the hint of something sweet that he had smelt before, something almost like… honey? Something rich, with an earthy and kind of smokey taste. Some type of whiskey, perhaps? Or, the closest thing to whiskey that this planet had. Whilst he was more of a wine kind of guy, even he had to admit that the smooth flavor of the drink had its charms. 

“You’re not going to get ‘very full’ again, are you?” Sylvie teases him. 

“Only if you join me,” Loki challenges her, offering out the flask for her to take with a flash of teeth. 

He hadn’t really been expecting for her to rise to his challenge, and so it filled him with a strange sort of delight when she took the flask from his hand, taking a deep drink from the flask herself. She caught his enthralled yet shocked face from the corner of her eye, handing the flask back to him with a shrug. 

“Nothing happens until daybreak,” Sylvie tells him, enjoying the warmth of both the fire and the drink as it settled in her belly. “Can afford to have a bit of a rest until then.”

“Right…” Loki almost forgot that they were in the middle of an apocalypse. It seemed much too calm for it. “So... you’ve been here before?”

“Just the once,” Sylvie says, her mouth twisting into a grimace. “I try not to go back to an apocalypse I’ve already been in. Less chance of the TVA figuring things out that way, and…” Sylvie trails off, her grimace deepening even more. “I suppose it’s easier to watch strangers die, than faces you’ve seen before.”

“And… and what of home?” Loki asks timidly. “I don’t know if you knew, but um…”

“I know,” Sylvie’s voice came out as nothing more than a whisper. She brings the flask back up to her mouth to take another much-needed drink. “Ragnarok, right?”

Loki smiled sadly, giving a small nod of his head. “I… where — or when, I suppose — they took me from, it was before then. I only found out myself not too long ago, when I was searching through the TVA’s files on apocalypses to… well, to find you.”

“Then you probably know more than me,” Sylvie said. 

“You never went there? I would have thought, of all the apocalypses you could go to-,”

“Loki, I already have to live with the knowledge that Asgard — my Asgard — is gone; wiped away from the timeline, and dumped into that dreary hole. All that were on my timeline: my people, my family? They’re… they’re gone. Probably devoured by Alioth,” Sylvie’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears, her obviously distraught voice catching the attention of even Yalti, who had mostly been politely ignoring their conversation that he didn’t even understand. “So yeah, funnily enough, I didn’t really fancy having to actually watch it be destroyed with my own eyes.”

“Okay... okay...” Loki said gently, the sight of her pain reflecting itself onto him. “I get it, okay? I just… I wasn’t really thinking about it that way. I was… I was just thinking of home, and… and how much I miss it.”

“ ‘Least you have more memories of home than I do,” Sylvie huffed miserably, holding out the flask for Loki to take. He does, and she crosses her arms across her stomach, leaning against them atop her legs. “Sometimes I wonder how much I remember of home are actual memories, or… dreams of what I think it was like.”

Loki swallowed down his mouthful of whiskey nervously, shuffling in place on the log. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but…. do you remember what happened when the TVA took you? Any idea what your Nexus Event was?”

Sylvie gave a slow shake of her head side to side. “Wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, really. I was just… existing. Playing with my toys, I think. I had this…” Sylvie paused for a moment, a genuine smile of nostalgia creeping onto her face as she lost herself in her memories. “-This beautiful hand-carved boat. I think father might have even crafted it himself, I’m… I’m not too sure.”

Loki found her smile infectious, feeling the corner of his lips tick up in response to the glazed, lost in thought look in her eyes. The smile didn’t last long, however. Not with the implication behind her words. Had she really been that young when the TVA took her? Just a child, playing with her toys, and that was enough for the TVA to deem her unsuitable for the timeline?

“That’s when the TVA came,” Sylvie said, the hardness returning to her eyes once again. “It was her: Judge Renslayer. She wasn’t a judge at the time, though. Still had to work her way up the rankings — no more than a hunter back then,” Sylvie let out a humorless laugh. “Think I might have delayed her promotion a bit when I escaped under her watch.”

“Ah… that’d explain why she seemed to have it out for you in particular,” Loki connected the dots, thinking back to the fog-filled chambers of the Time-Keepers, of the vicious look on Renslayer’s face as she prepared to wield her weapon against Sylvie. 

“I hope Mobius got her,” Sylvie spat. “Stabbed her with her own damn pruning stick -- give her a taste of her own medicine.”

“She was his friend once,” Loki pointed out. “He might think twice about sending someone he cared about to the Void,”

“She didn’t think twice about pruning him.”

“I’m just saying,” Loki continued. “Mobius, he’s… he’s got a good heart. He trusted me, even when everything else told him not to. Maybe you’re right, and he went straight back to the TVA, walked into her office, and pruned her. Or… maybe he saw the face of someone who was a friend, and found he couldn’t do it — even when he knew she would turn against him if given the opportunity. Maybe put her in a time-loop-,”

“Alright, I get it,” Sylvie huffed in annoyance. “You’re comparing him and Renslayer to me and Mobius -- other Mobius. Are you trying to say that I should have killed the other Mobius?”

“What? No-! ” Loki spluttered. “I’m saying that there’s a chance that Renslayer might still be out there. Whether that be with her still in charge at the TVA, or one of their prisoners, or… I don’t know. I’m still not entirely sure what her role is in all of this.”

“She didn’t even know about the Time-Keepers,” Sylvie brought up. “She was in the dark as much as we were, and yet… she didn’t care. She still wanted to stop me --stop us -- and protect Him.”

“Are we sure she didn’t know about He Who Remains?” Loki asked. “It seems odd that she’d be so desperate to protect Him, when she doesn’t even know who he is.”

“Maybe she won’t be the only one to react that way to the truth of who their leader really is,” Sylvie said. “Maybe some, like Mobius, will want to tear it all down. But others like her? Maybe they just… can’t deal with the thought that all their work was for nothing. Maybe they cling onto the idea that they did something of importance, and that He Who Remains did what they did for a reason.”

Loki groaned softly, barely resisting the urge to bury his face into his hands. “It’s… it’s all going to be such a mess. I don’t know if Mobius will have taken over, or if the TVA broke out into civil war, or…” Loki shook his head, leaning his head back with a heavy sigh. “We need to find a way back, Sylvie. Mobius is going to need our help, and… as much as I hate to admit it, we’re going to need the TVA’s help with this, too.”

For a moment, Sylvie said nothing. Loki could only sit, waiting awkwardly for her reaction, wincing in preparation for the argument that’s about to come. 

“I think you might be right.”

‘Well, that’s a first,’ Loki thought. 

“Come again?”

“Don’t start,” Sylvie shot him a look of warning. “I was thinking about it earlier when I made the Time-Door to this place…” Sylvie held up her arm, the two of them watching the mesmerizing glow of the golden cracks streaking across the TemPad. “This TemPad, it’s… it’s nothing like the ones I’ve used before – the ones all TVA workers have. I’m still learning how to use it, but it’s… confusing, to say the least. I can just about select a place and-or a time with it, but… clearly I don’t know everything, since I accidentally sent you to the TVA in an entirely different timeline.”

“Is there any way to select a certain timeline?” Loki asked, glancing between Sylvie and the TemPad. 

“I don’t know,” Sylvie said. “With the TVA’s Tempad, there… there wasn’t a need to jump between timelines, because there was only one available to them. They weren’t exactly jumping into different branches, rather… they were jumping to the time and place the branch originated from and pruning it out of existence before it could develop into a separate timeline.”

“But… that’s not a TVA TemPad,” Loki pointed out the obvious. “It’s ‘He Who Remain’s’ TemPad. He said it himself didn’t he, that his first variation in the thirty-first century discovered technology to open up Time-Doors between multiverses? Surely he then used that to jump between the different timelines and… prune them all until only his was left.”

“Maybe,” Sylvie says, dropping her hand back down to her lap. “There’s another problem, though.”

There was always a damn problem. “What is it?”

“I’ve got no idea how much charge is left in this thing,” Sylvie gestures lazily to the TemPad with a twitch of her hand. “Maybe ‘He Who Remains’ found a way to give it infinite charge -- or maybe it’s stuck with the same limitations the TVA’s TemPad’s have.”

“So… there’s every chance the next Time-Door we open could be the last?” Loki guessed. 

“That’s what I’m thinking.”

Loki leaned back on the log, taking in a deep breath through his nose. “Then I suppose we better make every one count.”

Sylvie nodded her head in response, looking down to the TemPad as she dragged her fingers leisurely over its smooth surface. It responded to her touch, leaving a glowing trail along the golden cracks that followed wherever her finger went. It seemed almost… alive in the way it responded to her touch. 

“What exactly happens here?” Loki brings her attention back to him. “What causes the apocalypse?”

“War,” Sylvie answers, her eyes trailing off to the ruined city that was now no more than a shadowy background displayed on the night sky. “Some other civilization in this solar system that had left these people alone, for the most part. Not too sure on the specifics, but… there was some sort of disagreement between the two planets. Whatever it is… let’s just say that the other planet is much more advanced than this one. These people… they stood no chance against the power they hold.”

“And so… what, they just decide to wipe out the entire planet to win the war?” Loki asks.

“Apparently so,” Sylvie answered. “At first light, the other civilization sends down a warning. One last offer for them to surrender, and save what remains of their people.”

Loki glances over to Yalti, who had been watching them converse in complete and utter silence. Despite not knowing what they were talking about, the look on Yalti’s face was that of a haunted man. Strangely still, whilst it was Loki that was looking to him, Yalti had his eyes fixated on Sylvie, who shuffled uncomfortably under his peering stare. 

“I’m guessing they don’t take the offer?” Loki asks Sylvie, tearing his gaze away from Yalti to look to her. 

“No,” Sylvie is unable to look away from Yalti as Loki did, feeling a strange bundle of nerves begin to rise at just how intensely he seemed to be observing her. “No, uh… they don’t.”

“Why not?” Loki asks, even though he knows Sylvie doesn’t have the answer. “Their city is destroyed, it seems like they barely have enough resources to survive, let alone to rebuild. What’s left here that they’re willing to die for?”

“Pride?” Sylvie guessed. “Stubbornness? An unwillingness to leave their home?”

Yalti slowly stood from his place on the log, the movement catching both Loki and Sylvie’s eye. They watch, ready to leap into defense at a single wrong move as Yalti somewhat stumbles towards them, having a difficult time walking in a straight line with all the alcohol that was running through his veins. 

His hands go into his pockets once more, and Sylvie and Loki look to one another, waiting for the inevitable moment a weapon is pulled on them. Yalti’s hands slide back out of his pocket, now clutching a small, square-shaped device that appeared to be made of some sort of sleek and shiny metal, with a smoky glass screen sat on top. Yalti slurred out a few words in his native tongue, gesturing to the device as he does so. When they only blink blankly at him in response, Yalti gives a bit of an annoyed huff before running his fingers across the metal square. A dull light emits from the screen on top, and it’s only a few taps of his fingers across it later that a holographic image bursts to life above the device. 

It was… a picture of a young girl. Maybe around eight, ten at most. It was more than just the glow of the screen that lit up Yalti’s face as he looked to the girl with a fond smile stretching across his face. He glanced over to Loki and Sylvie, and they both were somewhat startled to see the tears that had begun to build in his eyes. Yalti pointed to the little girl, then pointed his fingers back at himself, jabbing himself in the space above his heart multiple times to try and get his point across. 

“It’s… his daughter,” Loki breathed in realization. “And she, um… Sylvie, she kind of looks like-,”

“-Me,” Sylvie finished Loki’s sentence for him. “She looks like me.”

Loki was starting to understand why Yalti had been staring at Sylvie as much as he had now. The image of the girl, whilst somewhat grainy and flickering, still showed a striking similarity to Sylvie — or, at least, how he could envision her to have looked when she was a young girl herself. Sure, there were a few minor differences here and there: such as the girl's eyes being a tiny bit wider, or her nose having a slight downward turn to it that Sylvie’s didn’t, but… for Sylvie, it still strangely felt like looking back in time at herself. 

Yalti pressed atop the screen once again, and the image burst to life. What was once a still picture changed to a moving image, displaying the little girl out somewhere amidst this planet's countryside. The girl giggled with delight as she ran through the long grass of a meadow, being chased by Yalti, whose own booming laughter rang out into the cool night air around them. Yalti reached out a hand towards the holographic video, as if trying to reach for his daughter within. But of course, his hand only passed through the displayed images, and the smile slowly dropped away from his face. 

The hologram flickers, sending the video into a mess of glitches, becoming almost recognizable as it struggled to continue playing. Then it flickers again, and again, and all three can only watch as the hologram disappears altogether, sucking away its bluish light until they’re left in nothing more than the orange and reds of the fire. Loki and Sylvie exchange looks as Yalti keeps his eyes fixated on the powered-down device. He closed his eyes, the movement squeezing out a single tear that sluggishly trailed down his face, leaving a clean line through the dust that had caked his skin. 

When Yalti opened his eyes again, he seemed almost relieved to see them still sitting there. Perhaps, when you’re going through the end of the world, not many people are willing to listen or share in your individual grief, especially when they’re all going through grief of their own. Yalti caught their eye, raising a hand to point in the direction of where the image of his daughter once was, before pointing over his shoulder to the remains of the city. He then raised his hand into the air, whistling a long note that dropped in pitch as he lowered his hand down towards the ground. They hadn’t needed his mime-like explanations of what happened. There was only going to be one reason why the girl on his holographic device wasn’t with him.

“I’m sorry,” Sylvie says, hoping that the meaning of her words comes across in the gentleness of her tone.

Yalti gives her a shaky smile, taking a single step towards her — probably the most steady movement he’s made since he joined them by the fire. He lowers himself down onto his knees in front of her, raising one hand up to her face and tenderly cradling her cheek. Loki sat in silence, not wanting to interrupt such a moment, yet also wanting to step in, knowing that Sylvie would likely feel uncomfortable with a stranger touching her this way. And yet, Sylvie did not shove Yalti’s hands off of her, nor did she look all that disturbed by what was happening. Yalti speaks to her again, and the raw emotion packed into his voice as he got out those few trembling words was enough even for Loki’s chest to clench in sympathy. The two of them could only stare at one another – this poor, unfortunate man haunted by the vision of who his little girl never got the opportunity to grow up to be, whilst Sylvie was haunted with her own visions: the vision of the happy life, and the caring father she never got to experience. 

Yalti’s hand dropped away from Sylvie’s face, bowing his head to her in what Loki could only assume was either some form of respect, or perhaps even their way of saying goodbye. He gets clumsily back up to his feet, clumsy enough that Loki briefly wonders what the chances were of him falling straight back into the fire was. Fortunately, they didn’t have to witness such a thing, as Yalti seems to get his feet under him. 

“Sylvie,” Yalti says her name, one of the only pieces of their language he had learned from them. He then turns to Loki, repeating the same bow he had given to Sylvie. “Loki,”

Loki found himself mirroring the bowed movement without much of a thought, tipping his head towards the ground. “Yalti.”

Yalti shot them one last grateful smile, lifting his hand and giving them a kind wave — a gesture they at least recognized. Then, just like that, he had turned away from them, walking off in the direction of the tents and the welcoming town’s people within. 

“You okay?” Loki made sure to ask Sylvie as soon as possible. 

“-‘M fine,” Sylvie tried to brush his concerns off, but Loki could easily pick up on the little sniffle she made after saying this. “Bit of a shock, I guess. But I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Loki said, trying to catch Sylvie’s gaze as she stared blankly into the fire. “But if you do… I’m here to listen.”

Sylvie glanced over at him, managing to force out a somewhat strained-looking smile. “I will. Someday. Just… not today.”

‘I will’ was better than just a ‘no’, Loki supposed. Not that he could blame her for not wanting to talk about what had just gone down. He picked up the flask from his side, offering it out to Sylvie again. She looked down to it, looking moments away from reaching out for it. She seems to think better about it though, shaking her head in a ‘no’. 

“Probably a good idea,” Loki said with a soft chuckle, tucking the half-drunken flask into his shirt pocket. Sylvie seemed to be lost in her own thoughts, eyes unfocused and glazed over as she played absentmindedly with her fingers in her lap. Loki watched her quietly, content to sit here in the comfortable silence they had found themselves in. 

But the silence didn’t last long. They almost didn’t notice the gentle notes being sung from somewhere within this planet’s little make-shift town, being crowed out by what must have been a fairly decent-sized group. The beginnings of the song at least seemed to snap Sylvie out of whatever thoughts she was trapped in, the two of them perking their heads up simultaneously, listening out for the direction of the sound. 

Then, another chorus of voices joined in. Whatever this song was, it seemed to be known by all of this planet’s inhabitants. And then another group joined in. And another. The voices just kept adding to the song, the soft undertones of the song growing louder and louder as more people add their voices to it. 

It was… it was beautiful. They didn’t know the meaning behind the lyrics of the song, but they didn’t need to. The power behind it seemed to vibrate through their chests, chilling and somewhat haunting in sound, yet… undeniably beautiful to hear. It was not a song of hope, nor was it a song that was sung to inspire defiance in the face of almost certain death. 

It was a goodbye.

“How do you do it?” Loki asks, his voice no more than a murmur amidst the chorus of voices that filled the air. “All those different apocalypses, so many civilizations you’ve watched be extinguished… How did you keep going?”

“Because I had to,” Sylvie answers woefully. “You know, every day, I would ask myself the same kind of thing: What’s the point anymore? What is there left to keep fighting for? Everything I ever knew was… gone. My life was nothing more than endless running, trying to keep one step ahead of an organization that knew everything that was ever going to happen. I would dream of the day I finally came face to face with the Time-Keepers, and I tried to grab hold of the feeling I imagined I’d experience as I sunk my sword into their chest.”

Sylvie frowned, almost as if she was annoyed with herself. “I could never imagine it, though. But I kept chasing for it, because… it’s all I had. I didn’t want to think about what came next, because once I earned my freedom… I didn’t know what to do with it. What would there be to keep me going?”

“A new chance at life?” Loki offered. “The opportunity to do whatever you wanted, and not have to worry about the TVA deciding you weren’t allowed it?”

“That’s what should have kept me going, yeah,” Sylvie said with a shrug. “But it wasn’t. Every time I opened up another Time-Door, and I watched the last moments of the world I had come to know for the shortest of times… I told myself that that was why I was doing this; because my mission wouldn’t just free me. If I ended it, then… I would end all of that misery. Their worlds wouldn’t have to be put through an apocalyptic event, just because some all-knowing dickhead wrote it into his story. People wouldn’t have to lose their daughters, their sons, their family, everyone they love, because one man thought they would need it to ‘be changed by the journey’. That’s how I did it, that’s why I forced myself to watch the ends of a thousand worlds. Because without that anger, that desire for revenge on other’s behalf? Then…”

Loki already knew what she was going to say, but in no way did he want to hear her say it. 

“Then one of those days, I might not have bothered to open up that Time-Door.”

He might not have ever wanted to hear such words from her, but that wasn’t to say he didn’t understand. He glanced down at where the flask of whiskey was peeking out from his pocket, fighting back the temptation to take it out and drink from it once more. 

“I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but, um…” Loki began awkwardly, eyes darting between the ground and Sylvie’s waiting gaze. “I’m glad that you went through all that, if it meant that… you, uh… you chose to keep fighting.”

Sylvie huffed in disbelief at his words, lightly tapping her boot against his leg. “Yeah, I’m sure you're grateful that I stuck around long enough to single-handedly screw up every single timeline by creating an infinite amount of ‘He Who Remains’, whose only desire is to rule over them all.”

“We both fought to be stood in that office at the end of time, Sylvie,” Loki reminded her. “Don’t go and place all the blame on yourself.”

“You’re not the one that held that sword though, are you?” Sylvie countered. “I killed him, and I can’t share that blame with anyone else.”

“You did what you thought was right,” Loki tried his best to counter her self-sabotaging efforts. “And you’re here now, aren’t you? Trying to set it right?”

“Doesn’t mean I should have done what I did.”

“Maybe not. But what’s done is done. Yes, there’s… there’s an unfathomable danger that we’re now going to have to face. But just think about how many lives you changed with your decision. All those people who made one change in their life, perhaps one to try and better themselves, and they get to continue to live that life without one single ruler deciding that it doesn’t fit into the story he’s crafted.”

“I know, I just… I can’t stop thinking about Him. I don’t even know how much time we have left before he - whichever version of Him - makes his first move. Maybe he already has, and we just don’t know it yet. How long before the war he starts stretches out across every timeline I created by killing him?”

Sylvie brings her hands up to her face, rubbing her fingers across tired eyes. “All of this… because one man decided he should be the master of everyone’s destiny…”

“Well… at least he did one good thing,” Loki claimed, much to Sylvie’s confusion. She dropped her hands away from her face, looking to Loki with an almost wary frown as she waited for him to elaborate. 

“And what’s that?”

“He weaved the strings of fate together that led me to you.”

“That was awfully sappy,” Sylvie lied straight to his face, pretending she didn’t feel the bubble of warmth that filled her chest and was trying to force an embarrassingly giddy smile onto her face - which still crept onto her face, despite her best efforts to contain it. 

“Ah, you love it,” Loki said, and a part of Sylvie hated that it was entirely true. The sight of the abashed smile on her face brought out a tender one of his own, enjoying this brief moment of something good that they got to share; something he had a feeling came few and far between when living a life composed of the ends of others. 

The songs of the people had long since died off, leaving them with nothing more than the sounds of nature around them, and the strangely pleasing sounding cracks and pops of the fire as it continued to burn away. The night was quiet, but not in an eerie way. It felt like the world was inviting them to rest: the blanket of warmth from the fire washing over them, combined nicely with the cooling breeze that brushed over their skin; the reassuring feel of the other pressed against them, sat side by side, shoulder to shoulder, knowing that the person next to them would keep them safe. 

The touch to Loki’s shoulder surprised him, glancing down to see that Sylvie was resting her head against his arm and using him as her own personal pillow. Which, he found, he did not mind in the slightest. She had closed her eyes, looking the most at peace he thinks he’s seen her be since… never, now that he thought about it. Even in the brief nap she got aboard the train on Lamentis, her sleep did not look particularly restful; almost like she was sleeping with one eye open, ready to defend herself if the need arises, never one to show a single ounce of vulnerability to anyone. 

‘I can’t sleep around untrustworthy people’

The warmth of her skin bled through the thin cotton material of his TVA shirt — a sensation he’s not particularly used to. In fact… he’s fairly certain no one has ever used him as a pillow before. There certainly weren’t many people he would let rest against him, or even be as close to him as she was. It was insane when he thought of how much had changed in such a short amount of time. How much he had changed. His perspective had shifted entirely, becoming the kind of man he used to laugh at. Love was weakness. Love was giving someone else the opportunity to take advantage of you, distract you from what truly mattered. Love was something that turned you soft, that made you think twice before doing what needed to be done. 

Oh, how he was wrong. Love was… power. Love was giving yourself to another person -- not relying on that other person to make you whole, but to better one another, to strengthen the weaknesses you thought were buried and hidden. 

Love was… everything that she was. 

For a while, Loki just… sat. It felt like his eyelids were being weighed down, and his entire body felt ready to sink into itself and fall into that deep, dark nothingness. But he knew that, even in a place like this where everyone seemed friendly, that it was important for at least one of them to keep on guard. Especially when said place is the location of a fast-approaching apocalypse. But as the minutes ticked by, and the effects of drowsiness seemed to dig its claws in, it didn’t take long before he found his head leaning to the side, resting against the top of Sylvie’s head where she had finally fallen into somewhat of a restful slumber as she laid against him. 

The minutes that passed by seemed to last for hours, time slowed down as it mocked him in his efforts to stay awake. Even now, as he looked up at the impressive expanse of stars sprinkled within the night sky, it almost looked as if some of them were missing. Huge chunks of space where stars should be simply vanished, left with nothing but a blob of pitch black.

Actually… it looked more defined than a blob. There was… a certain shape to the missing spots, kind of thin-looking with large appendages sticking out from either side. And… and now that he looked at them… were they… were they moving?

“Sylvie…” Loki regretfully whispered to get her awake, not wanting to interrupt her much-needed rest. “Sylvie, the stars are gone.”

The strangeness of his statement roused Sylvie from her groggy state, blinking blearily up at him as he stared transfixed at the sky. “The stars are… what?”

“There’s so many of them,” Loki tore his eyes away for just a second to tell her, before they snapped back to the various different spots of emptiness. “It… it looks like someone punched out holes in the sky…”

It took a few moments for her blurry vision to focus onto what Loki was referring to, squinting up at what did in fact look like splotches of the sky that had been reduced to nothingness. It wasn’t until she saw smaller, almost impossible to see black blurs of movement that looked to be falling from the missing spots that the reality of what was happening crashed into her. Loki could feel her entire body go tense next to him, shooting up from the log with the most frantic and downright panic-stricken look he’s ever seen for her, frightened enough that his body seemed to instinctively react – jumping up from the log as adrenaline shoots through his system, looking wildly between the falling objects and Sylvie. 

“What? What is it-,”

“They’re not holes in the sky,” Sylvie stated the obvious, fumbling for the TemPad. “They came early.”

“Who did?”

“The other civilization,” Sylvie answered, her fingers shaking as they swiped across the TemPad. “Those are space-crafts, Loki. And that’s not a warning. This is it; this is the end.”

It was only then that it sunk in for Loki. Other people nearby had also taken notice, a confused murmur rippling across the fields. People had begun to leave their tents, taking a look for themselves to see what was going on. It didn’t take long after that for the screams of terror to break out, erupting into chaos as these unfortunate souls scrambled for cover that did not exist. 

That's when the bombs hit. Or, he assumed they were bombs. Not that he could hear the explosion. At least, not from here. Not yet. But he could certainly see it. He could certainly see the multiple waves of blistering fire as it erupted upon contact with the ground, watched as the wall of destruction was forced towards them. There was nothing he could do, no magic he could use that would shield them from the force of the blast that was about to hit them.

"Sylvie-,"

"I'm working on it!" Sylvie was still frantically tapping at the TemPad, and the reminder of their early conversation about how much charge might be left in the TemPad came rushing back. 

This could very well be it. This could be their last moments, once again stood side by side, watching as the end of a world, the end of their time, approaches. Unstoppable. Inevitable. 

They were met with the horrific sight of the night sky set aflame, watching as this tidal wave of death washed over the little town. It kind of reminded him of Alioth: of the time it barrelled towards them, intent on swallowing them up and reducing them to nothing. Loki could on watch on in horror, taking in the sight of these people’s little make-shift homes disintegrating from the intense heat, those sheltered within barely able to get out a scream of agony as they’re burnt to a crisp with it-

And then the ground under their feet turned into a rectangle of gold with a familiar-sounding blip, only able to meet Sylvie’s relieved eyes for a split second before he once again found himself falling, sinking down into the Time-Door manifested below them. His last view of this singular world — one he knows he will never forget, whilst being yet another average day for Sylvie — rushing by as he dropped. 

He knew now why Sylvie did all she could not to get attached to anyone. For when he thinks of Yalti, he won’t think of the kind stranger that offered them a drink and shared his memories with them. He’ll think about how he knows what the smell of a person's skin boiling off their body is like, and the gurgled scream he gave as his body began to melt.

He could only hope that somewhere out there — whether that be in a separate timeline, or in some semblance of an afterlife — that Yalti will get to see his daughter again. 

On the bright side… he now had more fuel to fan the flames burning deep in his stomach. He knew that finding a way to eradicate ‘He Who Remains’ from the timeline — from every timeline — is a task made from necessity. But after witnessing something like this? Knowing that he may have to watch many, many more?

He might just take pleasure in watching the light leave the last variation of ‘His’ eyes as they bring him to his end. 

Next Chapter - - ->

[chriscdcase95]

Reposting for TLDR reasons. 

To see the full rant, click the “Keep Reading”, but this covers what I consider an example of a show taking shipping wars too seriously, giving fans and how it can potentially pull a show down the tubes. Especially at the expense of character development and their stories.

It’s kind of a follow-up to another post I made about canon and non canon ships, and how there’s some ship based stories better left to fanfiction.

Disclaimer: I generally don’t like Ship Policing (bullying, and badgering other people for liking “the wrong ship”) despite this being one of my biggest NOTP’s. I don’t intend to bully people who like this ship, and this analysis is based on my observations and opinions. 

So here I am talking about a barley known show and ship that’s barely relevant anymore if at all. This is a follow up post on a Loud House post regarding a non canon ship called Luaggie. I mentioned on that post , how it was an example of a fanfic ship and it’s best to be left a fanfic based ship. I now bring to you it’s antithesis; Jemma of Every Witch Way. Originally this was strictly about why some ships and stories that are best left to fanfiction, but there are so many problems with this ship, that I don’t really know where to start. I guess I’ll start with an introduction to the show.

Edit: I also had to revisit to trim this down, and correct misinformation.

Edit Edit: Twice. I had to edit it twice!

“What is Every Witch Way ?”

Every Witch Way was a comedy/drama series on Nickelodeon. Anyone who heard of it would know it is an Americanized remake of Grachi, a Latin American Nickelodeon series. The less educated may dismiss it as a Wizards of Waverly Place knockoff. The series focuses on Emma Alonso, a teenage girl who moves to Miami with her father and discovers she is a witch and chosen to one day lead the magical realm. With a group of muggle friends, the enthusiastic tough girl Andi; Emma’s queen bee rival Maddie also being a witch; a subplot about Fantastic Racism that ended with the wiping out of all but two of an entire race; we got ourselves a simple little TV show that could be a passible watch.

Coming from a post iCarly, Victorious and Big Time Rush era of Nickelodeon, where most of their shows were marketed to the younger kids and barely anything for teens to chew on, Every Witch Way was a breath of fresh air. Taking cues from previous Nick shows such as H2O Just Add Water and House of Anubis, and aimed for a teenage audience, it was more interested in telling stories than telling jokes.

I would have called the show an underrated cult classic series to get nostalgic over, like The Troop (a show which I’ll also talk about one day)…then comes seasons three and four and it becomes clear that Every Witch Way is more interested in ship war than it was telling stories. Maybe I was giving the show too much credit or had too much expectations for it. Let’s just say this was no House of Anubis or the Avatar franchise. I don’t know what pulled the show down the tubes; it was either the character Jax Novoa and his story arc, or his relationship with Emma. But they overlap with eachother so I might as well cover all of them.

“What kind of relationship is Jemma ?”

Imagine if you will; a high school drama, that involves a loving, kind and empathetic girl meeting a dark brooding bad boy, who does bad things. But because he has a sad past and bad parents, anything bad he does is immediately forgiven and brushed aside, or justified. And it is by the love of this girl, and only because of this love, does the bad boy get redeemed. 

It’s the kind of story you see in mediocre romance stories or fanfics; the idea that the dark and brooding love interest with a bad past or history can be changed for the better with the love of the protagonist. This describes the relationship Emma and Jax’s relationship to such a tee that it’s borderline parody. The kind of reationship you’d at least put some kind of spin on.

So how does this compare to Jax and Emma’s relationship ? A quick description is that Jax is a new student and a dark seeming wizard introduced in the second season, who immediately displays an arrogant personality and behaviour while befriending Emma and putting the moves on her (and making a quick rivalry with Emma’s then boyfriend Daniel). Emma has a good heart, and a loving empathetic girl, so of course she likes to see the good in people and Jax was no exception. Jax eventually “changes” his darker ways and becomes more altruistic, mainly to get back and stay into Emma’s good graces. 

Normally, I have no issues with an Enemies to Lovers story, but it’s the context and overexposure that puts Jemma in a bad light.

Emma continuously forgives, or ignores Jax’s flaws to near absurdity, mainly because Jax has a dead mom and an emotionally distant, controlling and seemingly abusive father…which is shown to be false in the many retcons season four gives us.

“What are the problems with Jemma ?”

I said in another post that a friend of mine defined toxic relationships differently than I did; one definition was that a ship is toxic based off of fans behaviour in the name of the ship; I define them for how much it romanticizes problematic behaviour. How does Jemma fall into either of these ?

Back when Every Witch Way was on, Jax x Emma fans were pretty rapid, and became the most loud and vocal part of the fanbase. Any attempts to criticize Jax, his behaviour or relationship with Emma is bombarded with “HE CHANGED! HE CHANGED FOR HER!” ad nauseum. 

It’s gotten to the point where they literally vote their preference to make them the shows official couple. This can be partially blamed on the writers because they went about asking their audience what they want to happen in a TV show, having them vote for wat hey want to happen and in turn made season four into a Jemma based AU fic that rewrote the entire show. Kind of lacks integrity if you ask me. It also had to have been one of most one sided and manufactured shipping wars I’ve seen. By the end of the series, Jemma fans were pretty sore winners.

So Jemma fans could be pushy, but did Jax and Emma’s relationship entail toxic ideals I listed above ? On the surface, “no” since Jax doesn’t physically abuse Emma or the like…but Jax is manipulative person, and is rather possessive and entitled towards Emma all things considered. And what else can you say about a relationship where this partner has manipulated and gaslighted nearly everyone around him to get in, and attempts to destroy the world over a breakup ?

There’s so much to cover that stems from Jax that I might as well write a section on Jax himself. The worst that can be said of Emma here is that she was too forgiving and empathetic for her own good.

“Jax and how not to write a redemption arc”

So Jax is an overwhelmingly popular character on the show, so much that season four retconned him into the main character behind Emma. It’s easy to call him a Gary Stu character since he’s a seemingly perfect character who gets his way all the time and soon becomes the center of the show. This trope also fits; “Draco In Leather Pants” where a villain tends to get romanticized or woobified in fanfics regardless of how sympathetic or redeemable they are in canon; mostly because they are cute.

When Jax was introduced, he was the de-facto Big Bad of season two, being the most prominent, and personal antagonist and direct source of most of the drama that occurs in the season. Throughout the season he befriends and puts the moves on Emma with the intent on using the power coming Fool Moon (long story) to take over the world and rule at her side. Jax eventually falls in love with Emma, but when she breaks up with him when she makes right with Daniel… Jax’s response was aiding in an attempt to destroy the magic realm; something they make clear would kill all but a few magical beings in the world and this is something Jax is very aware of In the final showdown Jax makes it clear to Emma that he doesn’t care about what could happen to their loved ones in this magical apocalypse, so long as Emma is with him.

Again, I wouldn’t take this as seriously if the show didn’t treat it as seriously.

Now in his defense, I was originally rooting for Jax to reform himself. No joke, I genuinely wanted to see how Jax would make good with those he manipulated, pushed around and tried to fucking kill. I like a good redemption stoy as much as the next guy, but Jax doesn’t really go through one; he just turns Face at the last minute, apologizes to Emma about not wanting to hurt her, Emma immediately forgives him and Jax wastes no time putting the moves on her and antagonizing Daniel. What punishment does Jax go through ? What atonement did he have to suffer ? He’s put through a boot camp with the threat losing his powers, all the while he agonizes that those who he wronged still resent him. To be fair he does have genuine good deeds in season three; such as heping a dying friend, and even riskiig his life to save another But even then, the sho treats Emma as his prize for being a Nice Guy, and he admits this to Emma during the third seasons finale in a scene we are supposed to find romantic. And when he gets the girl, its all rendered moot in season four.

Helping or not helping with Jax’s character is that in season two he is given multiple “excuses”; controlling and abusive father, seemingly dead mother. They worked back then in making Jax sympathetic. The problem is when we get the actual revelations of his family and in turn make him unsympathetic in retrospect.

“The Mess That Is Season Four”

I don’t like the Fanon Discontinuity trope - where fans refuse to accept an istallment as canon out of a dislike of them. I generally don’t apply this trope with very few exceptions. But let me tell you this; when I say season four isn’t canon to the previous seasons, that’s not me talking, that’s the show itself talking. 

It isn’t a continuation of the previous seasons, it’s a reboot. When Emma and Jax become the shows OTP, the universe literally changes around them. Season four introduces a plot point that where an SCP style anomaly exists called a Continuum Break, in which as a direct result of Emma’s decision, the universe casted Daniel out of everyone’s lives, and their friends memories, and retroactively replaces him with Jax. Subsequently, the events of the previous seasons and their conflicts revolve around Jax and Emma’s relationship. 

One reason why these retcons don’t work is that because the world was altered in Jemma’s image, Jax here isn’t the same Jax as we knew through season two and three. The retcons fail because Jax’s previous sympathy is erased in retrospect, because Jax would hide behind his parents as an excuse for his actions (the dead mother wasn’t dead, but in fact, secret villain; and Jax’s abusive father wasn’t abusive). Jax being sympathetic hinged off of these excuses, and they either never applied, or was hit by the reset button, and thus irrelevant to his development.

And I am left asking myself why the writers came up with the Continuum Break in the first place ?Where Jemma fans that pushy about making their ship canon that they had to make it the only canon relationship in the show ? If so, that’s how wildly Jemma shippers are, if not that’s on the writers for being that much fan slaves. What other point could there be in portraying the Continuum Break as the way things should be ? Not to be pesimeistic, but it feels like this is the show throwing a character under the bus for the sake of rewriting the previous seasons and making Jax the new protagonist.

On top of that, other characters and arcs get thrown under the bus too

Mainly, Mia Black, who was introduced in season three as the de-facto main antagonist, and is added as another member of the love triangle. Mia is also affected by the Continuum Break as she is also cast from everyone’s memories and lives, to live an alternate life with Daniel. This is arguably more jarring than Daniel being taken away because Mia ultimately doesn’t sacrifice her morals for what she believes in and ultimately wasn’t that much of a threat and her own redemption arc is foreshadowed throughout the season by bonding with Daniel and Diego, and the added empathise on how lonely she is. This culminates in Emma reaching out to her in the season finale, and declaring herself her protector.  Like Jax, I was looking forward to seeing where they would take Mia and her arc the next season. Well as a result of the Continuum Break, she’s out of everyone’s lives, and living an artificial alternate one the universe spat out. Like Daniel, she may have been happy with her new life, but it still renders everything they foreshadowed for her and what she’s been through for nothing.

Personal conclusion

I reiterate my first statement Every Witch Way was a great show (first three seasons, at least is IMO). It was a breath of fresh air in a time when most of Nick’s shows were targeting a younger demographic in a post iCarly, Big Time Rush, and Victorious era. I’d call it an cult classic series, but I still feel that season four keeps it from being one of the great ones. I do recommend checking the series out, the story arcs are mostly good. Unfortunately by the time season four rolled in, it seemed pretty clear the show was more interested in shipping wars than it was in telling it’s stories.

I can’t really pinpoint what caused the show to drop in quality; the manufactured ship war ? Jax as a character ? Jemma’s pushy fans ? The writers for bending to fan demands ? Either way, season four’s Continuum Break was something the show could have done without. I won’t say that Jax is the most unlikeable character on the show (that would be Emma’s father) and he isn’t the most evil either (that would be Torres). I consider Jax and his blunders more so the fault of how he was written than anything else.

I will give Jax and Jemma this; the character and ship has so much going for it, I can’t help but compare and contrast them to other similar characters, story arcs and ships. I use it as an example of not to write a redemptive romance, and why some things are best left to fanfiction. But above all else, I hold it as an example as to why writers and creators shouldn’t sacrifice their stories blindly cater to fans and popular ships.

[thequlturecritic]

QULTURE’S TOP 20 SERIES OF 2018

20.  BUSY TONIGHT

You guys! Good energy is, like, totally in right now. And it’s never going away. You may know her from Freaks and Geeks, but I know her from Cougar Town as CC’s fun-loving, super-supportive sidekick. When you watch Busy Phillips on her cheeky, positive-vibes only E! talk show, a sense of “we’re all in this together” and “being kind to one another” is definitely a recipe for demolishing disaster. Remember how major Chelsea’s career became because of what so many probably considered a silly little talk show… well. I’m not a fortune teller or anything, but I could totally see Ms. Phillips taking over the universe. I want to be one of her minions. Cheers to another leading lady of late night! 

19. THE VOICE

I’ve always been anti-reality competition shows when it comes to singing, only because I’m a total snob when it comes to what I subject my ears to. My musical tastes are versed and varied, but I still am pretty picky about who I let in to my drums, mostly because I need it to stimulate an eargasm and coincide with my life’s soundtrack. When American Idol launched, I definitely was enamored with Kelly Clarkson’s powerful vocals, but I still kept the close mind that an artist is discovered naturally, not “created” by producers with the backdrop and illusion that AMERICA gets to vote and pick the winner. Ah, who knows, maybe they do… I would just never take the time out to vote. HOWEVER. When I found out Kelly was going to be a judge on The Voice, which is a whole separate animal than Idol, I was shitting my pants with glee, because she really is such a goddamn force of fucking nature. Her spirit is overwhelmingly angelic and I simply love everything about watching her. Last season’s competition was magical, at least for me, perhaps because it was the first time I really got to experience the message and place the show has in the universe. It really is inspiring and lovely to see how much these artists themselves care for the teams they build and the individuals they want to see grow – regardless of whether or not it leads to fame. Alicia Keys and Kelly Clarkson’s dynamic was really something special that inspired me in so many ways.

18. COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE

I love nothing more than a loose format, sans makeup, realistic conversation between famous people. Talk shows rock and all, but there’s something to be said for two people we all know and (often) admire, getting together and doing something that, ya know, regular people do! Like… go out to breakfast. I was never a fan of the Seinfeld sitcom, mostly because when it was popular it was kinda over my head and nothing that interested me. I’d probably be more inclined to watch and enjoy it now because of how much Veep has made me adore Julia-Louis Dreyfus and now much Jerry Seinfeld’s Netflix series about him… getting coffee… with comedians… has made me adore his admiration for vintage cars, honesty in humanity and one of the most important things we all seem to forget sometimes – which is to LAUGH! We live in such politically charged times, and while I get how important it is to talk about the very things we were always brainwashed to believe were impolite to talk about, we also need to be able to make jokes and not be so sensitive about everything. Ya heard?

17. AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

Oh how I love me some Tyra, but it seems the future is all about Ashley Graham. Yet again – another fucking beautiful superhuman. I am really starting to hate that people even think of someone as “plus size”, but hey, it’s the world we live in. All I see when I look at her is someone with a whole lot of personality, gorgeous features and a personality that you’d be crazy to not gravitate toward. She is living proof that good vibes, energy and kindness (in the fashion industry?! How dare you!) go a long way. Tyra and Co. are doing such a bang-up job sending young women empowering messages about feeling safe in their own skin by infusing all shapes, sizes, colors and archetypes. This cycle was full of hilarious moments and was totally unpredictable. Despite her Trump-loving, Republican ways and complaining about being transformed into a “fire-crotch”, I was rooting for Liberty, Rio and Jeana to compete in the Top 3. That certainly evolved as the season went on, mainly because Jeana’s insecurities were getting the best of her (she had alopecia and they convinced her to be the alien-like, bald beauty – which she looked 10X better as vs. wearing wigs) and Rio had the most off-putting temper tantrum that had me and my bestie Carlee yelling at the the TV, “Who da fuck you think you talkin’ to?!” as if we were speaking for Tyra. Be humble, girls! Beauty ain’t just skin deep. At the end of the day, I loved seeing Kyla take the crown, because her activism, big heart and growth really was something special at the end of the day. Keep up the good work! I want 1000 more cycles.

16. SWEETBITTER

Starz’s adaptation of the best-selling novel by Stephanie Danler is short, but bittersweet. Ella Purnell is a breakout star, headlining the cast of unknowns who are all as equally as fantastic. I think that’s one of my favorite things about it (Caitlin Fitzgerald, in particular, who definitely has that thing) – how naturally gifted the entire cast is. Purnell stars as Tess, an All-American girl from bumfuck who makes her way to New York City to chase the dream, even if she has no idea what it is yet. Any of you who have worked in the service industry as a waiter or waitress will appreciate the authenticity of how intimidating, grueling and chaotic the industry can be… but how much fun it can be once your shift is over.

15. MANIAC

What is Netflix’s limited, vivid, disturbing, funny, emotional rollercoaster about? My brain is exploding from trying to analyze. Typically, in each episode, I get so lost in the perfection that is Emma Stone, I’m completely enthralled by how inspiring it is to watch one of our most exceptional young talents only seem to get better and better. It’s also always a pleasant surprise to see someone like Jonah Hill continue to prove himself as truly versatile. Remember when these two were just getting into stoner cinema and taking over the shelves at Blockbuster, during their Superbad days? Justin Theroux, plus. Sally Field, super-plus. Julia Garner (also of Ozark), a star on the rise! It might make you feel a little crazy while watching, but hey, we all go a little mad sometimes.

14. SHARP OBJECTS

Gillian Flynn’s book to big screen success with Gone Girl made a lot of us anxious to see what would be translated next. Following the trend of mini-series, binge-worthy greatness and big stars coming to the “small” screen, HBO announced Amy Adams would star in Sharp Objects, a dark, sultry murder mystery set in the swampy south that co-stars the amazing Patricia Clarkson – one of my absolute favorite actors. I’ll never forget when I “discovered” her, in Lisa Cholodenko’s High Art, one of my all-time faves. There’s a similar hypnotism with the limited series which also features a deliciously naked Chris Messina, and, of course, the direction of the man I’d say is pretty much cinematic perfection these days – Jean Marc Valee. If you have not yet seen Dallas Buyers Club, and another all-time favorite of mine, Wild, you are missing out. I’m assuming you have watched all of Big Little Lies once or twice, and can’t wait for season two next year. Neither can I. These are the people doing AWESOME awesome things in Hollywood.

13. AMERICAN HORROR STORY: APOCALYPSE

So, I’m always back and forth with AHS. I always love how visually stunning it is, but some seasons either lack substance or are literally just too fucking freaky for me to engage. I can not even set my eyes on Freak Show, thought Cults was too gory and scattered (although fresh off of the Trump presidency was a possible prediction of the future if we don’t all get our shit together) and definitely didn’t even give that Roanoke one a chance. The first two seasons rocked, and Gaga slayed in Hotel, but being that I love witches (Hocus Pocus, Witches of Eastwick) I have to say Coven is my favorite season. I love every Farmiga in life, Precious’ Gaborey Sidibe always makes me laugh and Emma Roberts is a rock star. How gorgeous?! She’s also such a little asshole in the best way. She’s someone I can picture punching me in the face, and I’d invite her to. Apocalypse is the best infusion of boy/girl magic and the ultimate comradery casting wise – as what could make for a perfect finale for the series ties all of Ryan Murphy’s brilliance together. That’s just my opinion – because I think a great series needs to know when to wrap it up, but these days everything is all about milking everything to the last drop, so… idk.

12. THE CONNERS

Roseanne returning was definitely the best of the best in reboot land, until her big mouth got her fired from ABC and launched The Conners, which features the entire cast minus a dead mother. I still respect her as an artist and will always love when TV wasn’t so linked to the Twitterverse, but these days I guess everyone really does have to be super careful about the shit they say – especially when we should know better that racism isn’t cool. It’s such an odd thing, because Roseanne was always so controversial, brave with their material, and was one of the first shows to have an out lesbian comedian/actress and character (the great Sandra Bernhard)… so… idk. That Sarah Gilbert though… she’s somethin’ special.

11. THE GOOD PLACE

Kristen Bell!!!!!!! That’s all. Ok, well, that’s not all… because Ted Danson is equally as amazing. Who wouldn’t love someone married to a dame like Mary Steenburgen?! I’ve been a fan of his since Three Men (and a Little Lady!). The diversity, quick wit, modern spin on the classic sitcom and concept behind this hit NBC series reminds us of why the network is always killing it when it comes to delivering quality, quantity and maintaining its colorful edge. I’m surprised I didn’t get into this show when it premiered, as season 4 approaches and the Globes, and surely the Emmy’s now are getting into recognizing genius when they see it. This show is filled with all the good feels! Maybe Heaven really is a place on Earth.

10. WILL & GRACE

When the reboot of W&G first returned to NBC, I was a bit underwhelmed by some of the writing. It seemed forced and a bit insecure – but it just took a few episodes for them to really get back in the swing of things and season 2 of the return is really on point. Debra Messing is better than ever (congrats on a Globe nomination!), as are Eric, Megan and Sean Hayes – who I’ve always greatly admired because of, what I like to consider his “big break” – the film, Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss. Growing up gay, Will and Grace was a trailblazing, extremely important and relevant show to so many of us because there wasn’t much of that on TV. But I’ll always remember that adorable indie of Sean’s. He should make more movies! I love him in Pieces of April too!

9. I LOVE YOU AMERICA: with SARAH SILVERMAN

Sarah has always been my absolute favorite comedian. Jesus is Magic is probably one of the most brilliant stand-up comedy feature films I’ve ever seen (are there many of those) combining music, comedy, political satire, sexually inappropriate and explicit linguistics… nothing is off limits. From jokes about AIDS, Martin Luther King Jr. and the Holocaust, to her dead grandmother’s rape to pussy jokes about child lesbians she’s related to. On her new Hulu series, Silverman takes a tour of the great country we live in, United States of A, talking to Trump supporters, men and women of all colors, shapes and sizes and makes an honest, unbiased, non-judgmental effort to deliver an intellectual perspective on all things current and heated in the minds of many. I love her condescending approach, ability to keep her cool, remain true to herself and do something important with her career. It’s a humbled and divine dose of reality that I think we all need, as at the end of the day she’s basically trying to unite us and get people to understand that despite our differences, respect and kindness can truly inspire change.

8. POSE

First of all – watch Paris is Burning, if you’ve never seen it.

I remember when I worked for the super cool East-coast indie video chain, TLA Video, it was one of the most popular rentals in our Gay and Lesbian section, as it should be. It’s a classic documentary that captures the heart, sole and strut of African American LGBTQ culture during the AIDS epidemic, when being a queen and going to the balls would begin to define what FIERCE meant for a generation. (Play: Azealia Banks, Fierce). It’s one of RuPaul’s favorite movies and certainly inspiration for Ryan Murphy’s vivid and heartfelt FX series starring Evan Peters, James Van Der Beek, Kate Mara and a wonderful assortment of newcomers including the fetch, fierce, versatile and gorgeous MJ Rodriguez, Dominique Jackson and (MY FAVE) Indya Moore.

7. CAMPING

Ever since 13 Going on 30, I’ve known Jennifer Garner was a unicorn. She has that innate ability to charm, impress and entertain us with charisma and natural comedic talent. When it comes to the American adaptation of the Brit series Camping, developed for HBO (in part with Girls’ master Lena Dunham), the team surely arranged the most perfect blend of talent for both behind and in front of the camera. Garner brings the most complicated and hilarious nuances to her character and proves she is more than capable of leading a most diverse and perfectly perfect blend of talent.

6. OZARK

Janet McTeer!! OMG! This woman is amazing and really the force that makes the sophomore season of the hit Netflix drug smuggling/money laundering/gangsta livin’ series all the more bombastic. Sure, Jason Bateman continues to be awesome in every way, but the women on the latest season (even the creepy old meth lady who wants a baby at 99) really slay and own the show, keeping us on the edges of our seats and beyond impressed with how hard anyone with a vagina is proving that they are taking over the world these days. As if we needed more reasons to be obsessed with Laura Linney – she takes her character to new heights, getting more screen time and really being thrust into a more evolved dynamic – sort of how Robin Wright does on House of Cards. As though the audience was more drawn to the female than the male lead the series was built around. But Janet McTeer?! Holy fuck, Janet McTeer. She’ll make your skin crawl and keep you up at night… binge-watching.

5. THE AFFAIR

Showtime’s scandalous, suspenseful and intricate portrait of love, marriage and infidelity has been one of my must-see series since its debut. The entire cast is pure magic, especially the four leads – Dominic West, Ruth Wilson, Maura Tierney and Joshua Jackson. I’m constantly lobbying for Tierney, who continues to blow my mind with everything from those perfect, pouty lips to the way she can make my heart melt with a single tear. Last season, the twists and turns were so unexpected – something so refreshing these days when it comes to storytelling – that none of us could’ve ever seen coming what we now have to go into season five knowing (and grieving with, in my case). This is one of of those shows that stands tall from start to finish, and continues to inspire the way character and perspective is conveyed, as well as how we process it ourselves as an audience. I’ve always been fascinated by the same story being told through different goggles – kind of like in The Rules of Attraction, or Go. I can’t wait to see how this show wraps up, as I am pretty certain we move into the final act, which in itself is always a great quality for a series to know when to wrap it up.

4. HERE & NOW

Alan Ball, oh how I love thee. In the evidence of his brilliance, my affection toward Ball’s beautiful writing and ability to conduct such a beautiful cinematic symphony began with Six Feet Under, as it did most. If ever there were a perfect start to finish series… Rare is the artistic bird who can take such a celebrated drama and weave the social and political issues into a horror series – which is what he did with the addictive True Blood, a show that I would find myself equally hypnotized and aroused by. Ball’s latest gem is yet again a celebration of why we love HBO, his observant mind and heart, and ability to recognize genius when he sees it, in regard to casting. The always wonderful Holly Hunter and Tim Robbins headline a cast of brave, beautiful talents – including the tiny miracle that is the birth-child of Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon, Sosie, who is one of my favorite actors/characters in this captivating new drama that celebrates all the feels of our current reality. It’s a mixed blend of understanding the human condition and how people of all walks relate to one another while truggling with matters of the heart and psychological warfare.

3. RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE

For ten seasons now, Queen of Drag, RuPaul Charles has been taking her dynasty and giving it a royal upgrade every season with eye-popping elements that consistently allow this groundbreaking competition series to be one of queer and pop culture’s most celebrated. From the guest judges (Season X premiered with a Farrah Moan-esque Christina Aguilera dolled up for all the queens to gag over, which they did – myself included) to Michelle Visage’s dazzling eyewear collection to the costumes to the casting and the challenges – which get more and more innovative – Rupaul’s Drag Race has become a small empire that has the promise to spinning into so many different types of series and assure celebrity drag careers are a thing of the future, now more than ever. I loved the queens this season, especially my future husband Kameron Michaels (beautiful inside and out, boy or girl) and the well-deserved winner Aquaria. This was the second season in a row for me (I haven’t seen a lot of the previous seasons) where Ru got it absolutely perfect. I’m also a huge fan of Vice’s The Trixie and Katya Show which you should get into as well!

2. THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL

All of the hype surrounding the Golden Globe & Emmy winning Amazon Prime series starring the incomparable Rachel Brosnahan as Mrs. Maisel, is the type of perfection that isn’t all-talk. Everything you’ve heard about this hilarious gem of a binge-worthy comedy is true: the costumes, the production design, the brilliant performances, directing and top-notch writing is on trend with celebrating everything we love about women in the world right now, and the time capsule reminds us of how far everyone has come marching to the beat of optimism and fighting for equality. I’m so happy the great Alex Borstein has been honored and been receiving praise for her work, and rightfully so, as she steals scenes from the great Maisel herself in the latest season. It’s truly one of the best watches out there, so get into it!

1. SCHITT’S CREEK

What started out as a little Canadian sitcom from a then unknown Pop TV, has since become a pop culture phenomenon and one of the small screen’s most celebrated, quoted and adored comedies out there. In Season four, we continue to follow the Rose’s on their journey of personal growth, going from riches to rags in a small bumfuck town where they clearly stick out like a redneck tooth fairy for plenty of good reasons. We already knew Catherine O’Hara and Eugene Levy were totes brilliant, but every season I grow more and more enamored with how crazy talented Dan Levy & Annie Murphy are. Their nuances, the way the arcs of their characters have evolved… it’s like their learning from two comic legends and its working for them every step of the way. This is truly already an iconic, feel good show that is spreading such messages of love and beauty throughout society. Loves it!

[synthaphone]

experiencing and re-experiencing some more adult cartoons with ash, and i’ve been thinking about them so here’s my thoughts, in a big jumble of words that will be annoying to read through so they’re under a cut

two episodes of Mission Hill that i remembered enjoying in the past: i watched these by myself like a month ago because i was bored and depressed. not really as good as i remembered, not unwatchable but like, not good enough to make me want to rewatch the whole series, even if it is only 11 or so episodes long. i never ended up buying this one on DVD, i don’t think i got as into it as i did with Home Movies and Futurama back in 2013. i think it really comes down to Andy French not having any redeeming qualities, nor being that funny to watch. oops. i don’t think its bad for an adult cartoon though, and it had a kind of appealing visual style. i think i read somewhere that it was one of the last hand inked and colored cartoons to air, but i could be wrong because i’m too lazy to fact check that right now. the theme song is good, i guess its a cake song with the lyrics stripped out and i think the lyrics to that song are gross so i guess its nice to have a short version without those

almost all of Venture Bros, skipping episodes that, from their wikipedia descriptions, sounded completely appalling and not important: ash had watched this show years back but i never saw it until now, and... there’s some good stuff there, but there’s so many overwhelmingly terrible things that i can’t imagine recommending it to anybody. ultimately i ended up enjoying it a lot, but man. season 2 actually seemed to get worse than season 1, and then it took until around season 5-6 for it to get anywhere near consistently good. also apparently seasons are released once every two years now so that sucks! right when it started to get really interesting and i was getting invested in the characters. dang. i liked the new wave jokes, the episode that was an elaborate parody of a specific duran duran music video was a pretty big highlight for me. 

(((don’t take this as a recommendation, ash warned me that at some point (around season 3) there would be a pedophile in the main cast and there... definitely is, and you can’t actually skip around him because he’s in almost every episode, and eventually they drop that element of him and have him be ‘reformed’ and have a much smaller role but boy is he there and its not funny or good and all they had to do was like, not make that character a pedophile but they sure did that. also it can be extremely racist- also toned down in later seasons but like... yeah this is probably the worst of these shows i’ve watched from a moral perspective, and i wish it was better because it has probably the best story arcs and world building out of any of these)))

the first three episodes of Home Movies: i thought this would be way worse than i remembered but so far its actually a little better than i remembered!! only three episodes in though, so we’re still in the era of Mostly Improv- i’m hoping most of the less-improvised episodes will also hold up to me, i’m a big fan of it. also back in 2013 i got obsessed and bought the whole box set, so it’d be cool if i ended up not regretting that purchase after we rewatch the whole thing. not looking forward to the l*uis ck character in season 2 or 3 or whenever he shows up, though

I think the only other adult cartoons I ever really got into were: 

The Simpsons (but like, the early seasons that almost everyone likes, and this one i enjoyed in a casual way without ever going into hyperfixation mode about it, which i honestly appreciate!! it is exhausting getting invested in stuff that you know you won’t care nearly as much about in a year)

Futurama got wildly obsessed and bought the first four seasons on DVD, as well as some action figures that i now genuinely don’t know what to do with because i don’t care about the characters anymore. but i’m confident its way worse than i remember it being and don’t really want to rewatch it right now, plus those DVDs are at my parent’s house. whoops. sorry futurama. what the fuck am i going to do with those fry and professor farnsworth action figures, i saved the boxes but my mom threw them away when they moved so for now they’re just sitting at my parent’s house with the DVDs.

Clone High- i think i’ve watched the whole thing through twice? it was fairly consistent, iirc, i don’t think i want to rewatch it again anytime soon and i remember some shitty stuff but it had some memorable funny moments. i liked the littering episode

Rick and Morty- god i have to add this one onto the end because i forgot i’d watched it. i watched season one and mostly enjoyed it because i generally like sci-fi and improv, and then the creator was so openly shitty on social media and the last episode of season 1 was so bad that i just never watched it again when it came back. and then it got that really horrible fanbase and the memes and yeah i’m not coming back to that one, season one wasn’t even that good looking back

i think that’s all of them, give or take some episodes of other shows that i watched because i was in the same room when they were playing. i didn’t like any of those ones at all!!! i guess one or two episodes I saw of Bob’s Burgers were okay, but not really good enough for me to decide that i was actually gonna sit down and commit to watching the show

after we rewatch Home Movies we’ll finally give Bojack Horseman another try- we tried watching like, the first 5 episodes of it a couple years ago and didn’t like it, but Venture Bros was a lot ethically worse than most of the other cartoons i watched back then and we managed to get through 7 seasons of that in the past two weeks so maybe this time we’ll make it through to the good parts of Bojack everyone talks about

after that i dunno, i can’t think of any others i’d really WANT to watch. maybe someday, there’ll be an adult cartoon that can exist without having prison rape jokes, or wildly racist caricatures, or transmisogyny when i look back on it. maybe bojack succeeds at those basic ass things? i know it has shitty moments but maybe not those specific horrible ones!! ohhh boy

adult swim will probably not be where this cartoon will come from, when it does finally come to exist

[boglog]

Wholesome Questionare Tag Meme

Tagged by @80sglamcowboy Rules are: -Post the rules -Answer the questions given to you by the tagger -Write eleven questions of your own -Tag eleven people

This is long as Hell, friends and I apologise.

One inquisitive bitch has asked me:

1. Name one person (real or fictional) that you think you could 100% take on in a fight

Foaming mouth guy from Avatar. He’s got no stamina, barely any health, no skill. He’s unfocused and weak and my noodley nerd-ass could take him. (Though I am a little concerned he has rabies.)

2. What’s your favourite snack rn

Grilled cheese w veggies, mustard, and grilled tofu w a side of ketchup made by my roommate. It’s honestly the purest thing.

3. Which apocalypse do you think you’d do the best in? (i.e. Nuclear winter/ robot uprising/ Too many vampires, etc)

O man. I love apocalypse movies and I love survival horror (that one episode of the X Files where they’re trapped in a cabin, anybody?). I also genuinely love camping and I’m a bit of a medical hobbyist. I also watched an unreasonable amount of prepper videos on YouTube. That said, as mentioned above, I am a couch potato weekling. Furthermore, I don’t do well in conflict so if the world hierarchy collapses into a power vacuum where you have to Orange is the New Black-style intimidate ppl for supplies, I would melt and die quickly.

My best bet, it would seem, is an Arrival-esque alien apocalypse where the ones who have enough patience and sci fi knowledge to communicate w aliens are at the top of the food chain. And worst case scenario it’s better for my ego to die at the hands of an alien than a human.

Sci go apocalypses are just cleaner y'know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


4. Best and worst fandom you’ve been in? Or have you somehow managed to avoid fandom completely?

Worst has to be Steven Universe. I regret not just moving on after I got bored. Ah well.

(I also think celebrity/real ppl fandoms are a dead end.)

My other fandoms all have various pros and cons and it’s hard to pick a favourite.

Adventure Time has great fanart, great meta and ppl have yet to descend into Homestuck-ian chaos. That said, they’re quiet af. People also fixate way too much on the fake fanfic AU Fionna and Cake. I have yet to read a really good Bonny/Marcy fic and that is a tragedy (a few have come close tho). Bottom line for AT tho is that it’s my go to wholesome cartoonist fandom. I like that it has depth but that it’s generally very simple and fun and that the fans are mostly shut in animation adults.

AtLA/LoK fandom’s biggest pro is that it’s huge and you literally never ran out of quality content. I’ve even made a few friends via this decade old franchise. It’s also enjoyably rich and complex. One of my favourite (now inactive) blogs was one that connected world building and little background Easter eggs to real Chinese history and culture. That wAs so cool!! I defs think as a Chinese person it allowed me to connect to non-western culture in a socially acceptable way.

The downsides tho are many: it can be overwhelmingly complicated (esp as someone who knows jack shit abt Chinese history), people take it too seriously, The Great Shipping Wars, it’s so big it’s a little lonely, the show itself has so many flaws upon greater inspection you wonder why you wasted your time on anything related to it, it’s an Asian themed story created by white dudes who make fun of their fans, the best parts of the show were written by other writers but those same white guys get k the credit. Also as w any fandom related to POC culture, racism happens. Anyways most of you know this already. IMO the best thing to have happened do the fandom is korrasami. Now it’s just abt Asian lesbians ruling the world.

(Though I also thoroughly enjoy the Family Rivalry part of the fandom. There are so mNy dysfunctional families to choose from!)

Rick and Morty is technically speaking my newest fandom. It’s got a lot of obvious cons (pickle Rick sexists, Szechuan sauce racists, asfhkkh incest) but one other con is just how pedantic and overly analytical people are abt the world building. I can’t breathe wo being corrected. RM has a misleadingly complicated high sci fi aesthetic that begets the kind of overanalysing my brand of overanalytical nerdiness can’t handle. Too many alternate universes. It’s just too complicated.

However one thing I like is that conversely I can overanalyse the writing and characters’ psychology/relationships (which I LOVE) and ppl take me very seriously. (At least they used to.) it’s kinda validating to have your 3k word essay on an old man’s bedroom and what that signifies for his depression get over 1k notes.

Rm also attracts the fun, super talented animation crowd so there’s boundless fanart and memes. I never knew I would like a gravity falls crossover retirement home AU btwn Rick and Stan so much but the art is objectively gorgeous?? So ??

I really dislike the lack of attention the female characters get from fandom bc they’re all really great? Female rep is limited but both canon and fic really do their 2-3 tokens justice. Also the jerry hatred is getting old (that male aggression… Like… Calm down, Jake) but it’s a refreshing departure drom when Megg from family guy was the butt of the joke.

Harry Potter, one of the pillars of nerd society, has both changed my life and irreconcilably annoyed me to death. (W no thanks to the racist creator herself!) One can’t underestimate how huge the hp fandom is which offers you as many reasons to love it as reasons not to. Harry Potter’s canon has complex world building that’s also charming enough not to take itself too seriously and much the same could b said of fanon. To a degree. Certain corners of the fanbase are fantastic shitposters and meme-ers and can draw you back in like a black hole. Casually enjoying Harry potter imo is where it’s at. The fanfic is probably one of the most impressively vast. Strangers at Drakesaugh, believe it or not, still updates and not only that, I still read it.

Not casually enjoying Harry potter is, um, yikes? HP and Hunger Games love to insert themselves appropriately in real life political traumas and honestly the dedication of the fandom can be overwhelming.

The HP fanart corner of deviantart circa 2010-12 and @flocc HP comics however are the best.

Meet the Robinsons, Ye Olde Fandom, still stands to this day. (Thanks in part to me ngl) As Iroh might say, they are a proud people. MTR is so bizarre and tiny it’s the only fandom I was able to read EVERY fic summary in existence (ones published on obscure sites excepted). The fandom has never ceased to surprise me for better or worse and mostly due to its age range. The original movie was intended for 8-12 yr olds and their (jaded) parents which means that now, ten years later, the fans are anywhere between 12 and 25. It has approximately 20 pieces of professional-grade fanart and fic and I am downright serious abt the quality and thoughtful complexity of this minority of fanart. Like I shit you not some of it’s almost too dark. However, tragically, one can’t talk abt obscure Disney fandoms wo also mentioning the incest ships (this is what happens when middleschoolers have to resort to cartoons to explore their sexuality in an anti sex ed world), the disorganised crossovers, and the blinding lack of imagination. Nonetheless, that a fandom of any kind could sprout from a 90 min cgi movie before the recession, based off an obscure but objectively fascinating children’s book, is still impressive. The fandoms smallness can in many wars work to everybody’s benefit: it’s a tightly knit community w little to no drama. And lots of memes (that I mostly make) to enjoy sincerely or ironically.

I’m also going to mention, very briefly, the Twin Peaks fandom, most of whom, even the die hards, are v casual when it comes to fan content (I need more fic damnit). Nonetheless it’s a decidedly cool art kid crowd for an art house show and I really enjoy befriending twin peaks watchers.

5. What’s one hot food that you prefer cold? (or, alternatively, one cold food you like hot)

Is it snobby to say I like food to be the temperature God intended?

Like I like cold pizza and salad-y pasta but I wouldn’t mind if everything were room temperature as long as the food itself was well made.

6. ya like jazz? What music do you enjoy listening to? Can you recommend any songs/ artists from that genre?

I think in some contexts I can like jazz. It’s very cosy and nostalgic, it can make you feel like a grand dame stepping out of your limo into your martini filled mansion as records pop around you and your fur carpeted living room. I also occasionally like jazz covers and alternate genres of jazz like electro swing etc.

Generally though I also think jazz is a little antiquated and a little all over the place. I lean more towards the ambiguous minimalism of mellow techno music like Jonna Lee, Grimes, Björk, early Lorde, Yasmine Hamdan, Austra, TRST, etc

I mean I don’t stick to just one genre (I imagine most ppl don’t). I like alternative (Tori Amos, Regina Spektor, Joanna Newsom) and some musicians who seem to completely exist outside of genre like iMonster and the Gorillaz. Not to mention straight up pop like broods, Ellie goulding, lady gaga and Lana del rey. (I mean technically Ldr isn’t pop but u get the ideer)

7. What binge worthy show do you like?

So many man. There are so many out there! Twin peaks, Transparent, Love, Grace and Frankie, Adventure Time, House of Cards, Bojack Horseman, Rick and Morty, Mad Men, Girls, Broad City, Black Mirror, Avatar TLA, 6Teen, Chowder, Over the Garden Wall, Flapjack, the first season of Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, etc

The list goes on. I’m a TV fiend.

8. What’s an old meme that you miss and wish would be brought back?

Always liked the Gothic [x town or whatever] meme. It was like a text post version of the cursed images meme. Currently I’m really enjoying the song from another room meme and I hope even after it gets old it’ll make a comeback.

9. Tell me your aesthetic



O man. That’s a can of worms! Okay. Deep breath.

I like futurism, of all kinds. I like strong lines and clear shapes. I like colour blocking and minimalism and glass and holographic LED neons. I like white Japanese urban tiled buildings. I like aliens and ruins and cubes and white and colour blocking and black. I like technology and aliens and Comme des Garçons and Issey Miyake. Rooms that are empty but for one light and one window and one plant. Love that.

I like the midcentury cubism and Mod and 30’s futurism. Clear and strong industrial shapes and curves and post modernist abstractionism.

I also love nature, I love most every Björk and Iamamiwhoami music video. I love the mountains and the forests and the desert and the winter tundra and most of all I love the water. A vast expanse of sky and sea w so many colours and textures. I love the 2000s and funny blob shapes and y2k’s obsession w secondary colours and shiny round things. Love pink. I am a grown adult who will never tire of pink. (Though I don’t really like when people overdo pink.) I love cursed image family photos taken with flash in a suburb. I love the grime and the sanitary aesthetic of suburbs and hospitals and brutalist office spaces. The fluorescent lights of the institution but with purple carpeting!

I love 70s mod and I love colorful 80s brutalism I like it when houses are shaped weirdly and they have carpets and polished curved wooden countertops and spacious nothingness where everything looks clean and cosy and bizarrely ugly and it all looks like an art gallery w too many plants.

I also really love maximalism and wood and detail and fur and velvet and embroidery and silk and windows and wood carvings.

I love 70s kitsch like John waters movies and Shrimps designer fake fur CDG17 where they just piled on knickknack after knickknack onto white dresses w food long trains. Toys and novelty items and lamps shaped like a woman’s leg in a fishnet stocking. (See also: most Tim burton movies, wes Anderson, Carrie fishers house)

An overwhelming mishmash of wool patterns with clean cubic 70s architecture and so many plants and windows and wallpaper and candles and cobwebs. Also really like witchy mourning jewelry and essentially every house in Harry potter. Love the unfortunately racist boho/hippie aesthetic. Any house designed by bill kirsch is a masterpiece. Woven baskets on the ceiling piles of hats and art supplies everywhere. Stuff!! Everywhere! Hidden passageways reading nooks fireplaces the Pink Palace from Coraline!

Everything!!!

I’m a cartoonist who’s a nerd for design so I like when concepts are taken to the extreme in a humourously charming and clear-minded way. Whatever aesthetic someone chooses, they should go all out and really dedicate themselves to the highest form of that aesthetic. It has to be perfect without being sanitary of fake. It has to be alive yet beautiful, frozen in one perfect moment.

10. Favourite time of day and why?

Dusk. I think it’s a nostalgia thing. I loved the hours before bed time as well the hours before dinner when it was getting dark and the sun was reflecting freaky colours along the horizon while I ran around the grass. It’s cozy but it’s spacious and adventurous. So many things can happen at dusk!



11. You have the choice to live in any fictional universe - which one do you pick and why?

Harry Potter!!! You get the best of both worlds: magical, over-romanticised Victorian/medievalism, wish-fulfillment surrealism and wifi. It’s great. Likelihood of dying is so low, medicine is so advanced and even then ppls n°1 choice of lethal weapon (Avada Kedavra) is painless. Me and Luna could hang in her garden. I’d never have to pay for the subway again. I could live a nomadic life in a tent w infinite space. If you chose to live as a wizard amongst Muggles you’re basically god and you can cheat capitalism. Gravity is my bitch! And I’m not gna lie my dream house has always been a combination of The Burrow, the Lovegood house, and Shell Cottage.

My turn to pick your brain:

1 Favourite texture?

2 Favourite smell?

3 Favourite children’s book/children’s TV show? (I’m talking about the bizarre abstract ones for toddlers)

4 Best and worst prank you’ve ever pulled?

5 Weirdest beginning of a friendship?

6 When you’ve been in fandom for a while you start to notice you’ve a habit of staying in the same corners. What corner are you in? Are you part of the fluffy ship corner? The intense world building spec meta corner? The shitpost comic fanart corner? Etc

7 If you could invent a class that would be obligatory for all high schools across your country what would it be?

8 What’s the weirdest thing you’ve gotten at Halloween while trick or treating?

9 Weirdest family tradition of yours?

10 Describe your significant other (or your crush, or your dream partner or if you’re aromantic your fave person) through only TV references.

11 Favourite piece of dialogue in a movie?

I don’t know 11 ppl but nonetheless tagging: @that-guy-in-the-bowler-hat @skairheart @nochangenohope @eventheslightestrayofsunshine@autistic-jaredkleinman@phoenixkluke

…and YOU (if you were not mentioned above and so choose to accept this mission)

[stephhannes]

is march madness the same thing as seasonal depression?

most days are normal, i function.  i wash my hair, i go to the grocery store, i have conversations without forgetting what i was saying in the middle of a sentence. i accomplish the tasks i need to do without struggle, i go to bed at a reasonable time, and i sleep for a normal amount of hours.

and some days i’m paralyzed. i’m too sad to move. i look at old pictures for hours and i read through old conversations until my eyes are blurry and i play the same voicemail on repeat. on the worst of these days, i sleep so long that i get texts from people asking if i’m still alive.

one-third of the year, persephone has to return to hades.  one-third of the time i just, disappear.

nathan used to describe my depression as a “disappearing act” so maybe i did learn something from working at a magic show, after all.

every once and awhile i’d have a handful of days where i’d have just enough good energy to go to work, and anything more than that was too emotionally taxing, i was too exhausted to be a functional person. i never realized that it was obvious to other people when i was really struggling- but as soon i’d start to snap out of it, nathan would always say, “wow welcome back, i missed you.”

there’s a scene in it’s always sunny in philadelphia when a timeshare salesman asks dennis if he’s ever been to florida, and he responds with, “been there? ….not physically.” we had a version of that joke at the theatre- were we at work? well, physically yes, but mentally we were all astral projecting to a place with less magicians.

that was me on the bad days. physically i’d be at the apartment, but mentally i was astral projecting to a place where i was less depressed. i still have days like that, the only problem is that now i don’t have anyone around that notices and i’ve caught myself sometimes losing like a week to my depression. but for the most part, i don’t have the really bad days anymore.

it’s a step up from when i felt like a visitor in my own body almost full-time.

i never posted a blog about what my february looked like, mostly because i did nothing for the entire month. i stepped foot out of my home three times. my step counter will tell you that i averaged 159 steps the entire month, and there were actually 6 days where i took 0 steps. there were only three days where i took more than 80 steps. here’s the graph to prove it- 

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it feels weird to finally have an answer. months ago, when nathan’s autopsy initially came back inconclusive, i had resolved that we probably just wouldn’t know what happened. and 12 weeks after that when toxicology came back clean, i was even more steadfast in my belief that we wouldn’t get a clear-cut answer. realistically, there was a part of me that knew there has to be some kind of answer- but i was completely okay with never actually getting it. and then we got it.

i’ve always really hated when someone dies and then everyone’s reaction is “oh be sure to hug the people you love! u never know when something could happen!” it’s like how i hate the people who use valentine’s day as an excuse to make up for the other 364 days a year they don’t do anything nice for their partner. i’ve always been very intentional in my relationships, making it abundantly clear how i feel about people constantly. i always write dumb love letters to my friends, i’ve always been the person who gets drunk and is immediately like HEY I LOVE YOU to every person in the room with me. i think a lot of times when someone dies, people feel a specific regret of “oh i wish i had told (person) how much i love them” but like, it was borderline disgusting how affectionate nathan and i were.

he’d leave for class and then 30 minutes later he’d text me and be like, “hey i miss you.” or like, he’d fall asleep and i’d text him some dramatic ass paragraph about how much i love him, like this one from august 2nd- “hi you’re asleep right now but even though you keep snoring real loud i love you a lot. thanks for asking me to marry you. i know that neither of us were really the type to even like consider marriage in the past but i’m really glad that we get to do this. you’re my favorite person and getting to spend the rest of my life with you (with the added tax benefits) is really all i’ve ever wanted. so far you’ve been a pretty great fiancé, so i guess i’ll keep you for at least a lil longer. i am so glad that i’m yours because you’re such an incredible partner. anyways, i’m sorry that i’ve been gone a lot lately, i’ve missed you a lot but hopefully soon things will be back to normal and i’ll be back to snoring in your ear all night. ok goodnight i love you i’m excited to hang out with you this weekend.”

so on one hand, i feel great because even though i have like 5 new suitcases of baggage- at least i won’t have to check the “shoulda been more open about my feelings” bag. but on the other hand, after finding out what had happened i still had an existential crisis/panic attack when i was reminded that “oh life is fleeting and can just be taken away randomly and nothing truly matters and what am i doing here and why did this happen all i’ve ever done is be a good person but that doesn’t even matter and death is imminent please send help”

one night when i was drunk, i remember telling one of my friends that i feel like i’m immortal. but not in the cool, “i’m a 7000 year old witch,” way but in the “i’m plagued by the curse of immortality where i have to watch everyone else that i love die,” way. i remember feeling like this after my dad died, but now i’m just convinced.

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the best thing about march is that it’s truck month. the worst thing about march is that when it’s over, truck month ends and april starts. i’ve been dreading april for the last seven months. the 10th is nathan’s birthday, the 26th is mine, the 30th is our anniversary and it’ll also be the 1 year anniversary of our engagement. i knew that going to new york was something that i needed to do at some point during april. and luckily the only window where it’s reasonably priced to fly there falls at the end of april. so from the 23rd to may 7th, i’ll be back. it’s partially because cody’s been begging me to come back and i miss her but also because i can’t imagine being anywhere else during that time. the last time i was in nyc was back in november, and i was still in a pretty bad place then. so i’m excited to return now that i’m significantly less of a shell and more of a person. i’m setting my expectations for myself very low: if i make it through the two weeks without crying in public, it’s a success.

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you know that inspirational quote that’s (definitely not factually true) something like “Every single cell in the human body replaces itself over a period of seven years. That means there's not even the smallest part of you now that was part of you seven years ago.”?

i think that’s me- but with dyeing my hair blue. like clockwork, somehow, basically every 7 years i dye my hair blue. and it’s always marked some Life Change. the first time i did it, i was 10 years old- that was the first time i’d ever dyed my hair. we used a semi-permanent dye and it got all over everything, including my skin, and i looked like a smurf for a week. the second time was eight years later, the day after high school graduation. and the most recent time was the other day, six years later.

i don’t know what it means, but if i was more of a romantic i’m sure i could come up with some deep metaphor. i’ll just stick with the fact that i put off dyeing my hair blue because of how hard it is to maintain, how it gets everywhere, and how hard it is to get rid of.

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i feel like the tone of this was overwhelmingly bleak, but i promise i’ve been doing better. i’ve even started applying for jobs recently. it’s almost like i’m trying to get my shit together! i got rejected for a job as a copywriter at bumble, and then a day later one of my tweets got like 300 likes so i’m sure they’re really regretting turning me down now. it’s fine, i’m not bitter.