#i am not using that to justify being bitchy

[dadrielle]

Top five 1-on-1 conversations I am DYING to have happen soon, about Myriad Topics:

*Laudna and Fearne: god I want them to talk about e v e r y t h i n g. Ask Fearne about how the split affected her beyond the threesome! Talk to Laudna about that rage! Check in with her about FCG's shit! Ask Laudna about Orym and Imogen and the way people's relationships are changing! Talk to her about guilt again! More fire lessons! Ask about her doggy!

*Imogen and Chet: Bro the fact that he's the only one of the Hells that Knows about the girls would make this conversation funny and interesting as hell. I think he'd also be an interesting one to check in with her about her mom since he's done it before. Also I just love them being bitchy combative friends soooo much.

*Ashton and Orym: Hey buddy what the fuck with the self sacrificing and the push push pushing. Conversely, hey buddy, why do you keep talking to strangers about your feelings instead of us and what's up with you calling yourself "of the Hishari" now?

*Fearne and FCG: Please please please keep being petty. I want her to call him out for his callousness, which is extra interesting coming from Fearne. I want her to be mad that choosing to do things that hurt the others doesn't make him feel guilty the way it does her! I want her to steal the coin. I want her to try to reckon with why doing things she feels are justified (like only healing him a little) still makes her feel guilty. Also I think Fearne being like, ok, explain to me exactly what your god is about, you don't even know do you? would be fun.

*Laudna and FCG: Confront him about how he treats you Laudna please do it oh my god give me the JUICE. Tell him about clerics chasing you out of towns! Tell him what you think the gods think of you and make him reckon with that!

[flameswallower]

A while back, in a friendship-ending argument, someone accused me of being persistently "contemptuous" towards him and others. It hurt me, because that's one thing I strongly try not to be unless somebody deserves it, and because I honestly don't feel contemptuous towards most other people most of the time, or believe that's something that really comes through in my manner. Still, in the moment I brushed it off as deflection-- this was an argument where, for once, I was the reasonable, rational person in a fairly clear-cut way, and I had good reason to express exasperation and disappointment with how the other guy was behaving and talking to me. But much later, during an argument with my partner, I asked if they agreed with my ex-friend that I'm a contemptuous person. And they said yes, that comes through very strongly when you get upset, you really judge other people.

So I thought about that, and I think what's happening is a combination of things. One is that deep down, yeah! I am a judgy person in certain ways, and because I normally suppress that and try incredibly hard not to be bitchy or catty or mean, basically ever, it comes out like water from a firehose when I lose control-- and the emotion gets everywhere, there's no discretion around, say, "it's justified to be contemptuous of so-and-so's veiled dog whistle transphobia, but it's really shitty to be contemptuous of someone for being able to control their mental illness less well than you can, or for choosing to live in conditions you deem 'gross'."

Another thing that's happening is, as implied by the second clause, I judge myself extremely harshly. I think that's not always immediately obvious these days because I tend to have a better sense of self-worth than I used to, and because I can get very defensive in the face of harsh criticism or criticism from people I care deeply about. But it's there-- the defensiveness is largely a reaction to it, an attempt to keep me from swinging hard back into "I'm the worst person in the whole world and I deserve to die immediately" thought patterns. One thing about judging yourself harshly, though, is it usually spills out on to other people at least a little bit. Even if consciously your feeling is "well, these rules only apply to ME, I'm the only one who ought to be PERFECT, I have totally different standards for others," that might not be true at all subconsciously. And it boils over, it breeds a sense of resentment towards people who are "allowed" to be flagrantly imperfect in ways you've denied yourself and who demand that other people make room for that imperfection and meet their needs instead of feeling ashamed and trying to erase/undo/hide their needs. The truth is, you have to stop being contemptuous or judgmental towards yourself before you can stop being that way towards others, and I never quite got the trick of it.

...In part because a third thing that's happening is, of course, that my idealized self-image is really bound up in being someone who doesn't judge other people except for actually very harmful/hateful stuff, is open-minded, is tolerant and accepting. I would say "is kind," but I'm not sure how many people think of me or have ever thought of me that way. Still, kindness is very much something I strive for. Yet ultimately, I think this is often more because I want to be a person I would consider beyond reproach, an admirable person, a person who can more or less unproblematically be called "good," than because of genuine compassion and care towards others. And knowing this about myself, how can I not judge myself for it? How can I not insist to myself that I should be a better person, with better motives? How can I let it go? It's one of the things I dislike most in others, in part because it's so dangerous-- I've seen all kinds of awful places caring more about the safety of your self-image as "a good/kind person" than about listening to and empathizing with others can lead.

...and also in part because a fourth thing that's happening is, I feel like other people are constantly, silently judging me, mostly in profoundly negative ways, All Of The Time. I feel like I have to be on the defense against that; it's a kind of dysfunctional hyper-vigilance. Often I find myself formulating counter-arguments in my head to nasty things someone might hypothetically say to and/or about me one day. This is hard to combat because it's simultaneously an insane, exaggeratedly fearful, and honestly pretty egotistical way to think about one's interactions with other people, and also something that's sort of based in reality. In some of the ways I was treated as a child and adolescent. In ways I regularly observe others talking and behaving online. In the fact that I regularly encounter casual hate speech directed at people similar to myself. In the fact that each year I will have a scattered handful of disproportionately upsetting interactions where others are mean to me on the basis of an honest mistake or a trait I can't help having or the way I decide to present myself to the world, or where people I care about jump to conclusions about me in a manner I find really unfair. When I'm in an argument or a loved one is criticizing me, it can feel like, Okay, I already knew you were contemptuous of me, barely tolerating me, I knew it all along, now I'll strike back.

How do I fix this problem with my heart? I don't know. Admitting it is probably the first step. I think a lot of other people also have this problem, and I think most never confront it in a completely honest way, because that's super hard and involves striking an almost impossible balance between being able to make a really harsh, potentially ego-destroying self-evaluation, and being able to have compassion for yourself, and forgive yourself, and be patient with yourself.

[arctic-hands]

Weight talk and discussion of ozempic/wegovy under the cut

My gastroenterologist mentioned that ozempic might be useful for my condition, not because I'm fat (which I am) but because the gastric side effects being reported in people using it might actually have the opposite effect in people with IBD (she suspects I also have IBS and rapid gastric emptying on top of the Crohn's, which she says ozempic might also help calm down). Which is an off label use, but she thinks it's worth looking into.

Meanwhile my psych team, especially my therapist, thinks I might have some sort of binge eating disorder bc I suffer insane cravings that eat away at my budget. They recognize that I do in fact need more sugar and salt than the average person bc I'm so sick with multiple things (including POTS) that throw my system out of whack, but it is true that I get insanely bitchy if I can't eat what I'm craving. I never paid this too much mind bc I genuinely enjoy eating and the only problem I ever thought in regards to it is that my budget is too thin to safely afford ordering my insane and random cravings. And wegovy has been shown in multiple studies to curb food cravings.

On top of that is my compulsive shopping (or shopping addiction, I can never remember which I have), which also eats at my budget severely and makes me feel twitchy when I don't shop often enough and comes with a release when I actually buy something even if I get nervous about how much money I've spent. And wegovy looks promising in curbing shopping impulses too.

There's ALSO the fact that type 2 diabetes runs in my family on both sides, my paternal grandmother being diabetic and my mom being pre-diabetic, and I'm starting to develop some mild yet significant kidney and liver issues, the latter of which may be weight related, all of which ozempic was MEANT for.

But also I HAVE been feeling low about my body image bc of the constant social media and even mainstream news coverage of ozempic (my local CBS LOVES covering this "miracle drug") and like am I just using all the above to justify weight loss? I feel like such a traitor to the fat acceptance movement just for considering it. And also I'm worried I'll lose my love of food, something I'm not afraid to say I enjoy. I have had ARFID in the past but I think it was medicine related bc it slowly fade after I went off it.

Anyway I feel torn about it all, is all

[ax-y10]

hiatus will be official after this post. i will be back on it. just needed to say something.

i’m sick of how inconsiderate people are. people apologise and apologise and apologise and yet you’re still going to let that information go in one ear and out the other. you are not willing to listen and you are going to go after someone because of something they couldn’t control.

i’m so fucking glad that my mum and dad taught me how to be safe on the internet and how to talk about things instead of resorting to violence and so many essential life lessons.

an example of these are:

some opinions are not worth being shared

if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything

you need to be considerate of the fact that you don’t know what some people have gone through

some things have no reason to be justified, and some things need no justification

these anons are absolute scum. they deserve no place on here. if you are going to hate someone or make someone feel like shit, turn off anonymous and say it right to someone face, even if it is over a screen. do not hide your identity just so you can have a horrid opinion on something.

and if you know people irl that you interact with online, deal with them irl. not over a screen. that is such a bitchy move. do not be an asshole, whether you love or hate that person.

i have so many things i want to say, but this situation is not about me, and i am not willing to be vulnerable on here with such sensitive topics.

if you are not going to accept someone apology and reasoning, fuck off. do not make someone’s issue yours and make them feel even worse. that is a horrible move.

yes, i’m young. yes, i’m a bit stupid. yes, i know basically nothing about the world and i am very uneducated, but i have very knowledgeable parents, even though they’re 33 and 40.

i am very fucking smart, and i know a lot of things. yes, i’m being a little self-centred right now, but it’s needed to prove my point.

accept their apology. make their life and mental health feel okay and at peace. they deserve it. even if they did some fucked up shit and fucked around and “found out”, let them feel okay about themselves.

whether these people have been put in jail a multitude of times or have been involved in a tiny drama at school, you respect them. you do not have to like someone to respect someone. respect is a huge huge thing. so is hate. be responsible.

be a good fucking person and be respectful.

whether you are a responsible adult with a stable income, or you’re a 13 year old using this app, be respectful. be considerate. be a good. fucking. person.

i do not give a fuck if you have the best life on earth, or if you have been sexually assaulted, you deserve any and all respect.

i’ve been talking with a friend who has been dealing with a bunch of shit in the last few hours and he is very very very upset about it and is still a bit hesitant about me doing this. i’ve talked with him and made sure he’s alright and given him every right to restart again, to have a safe space. he’s dealing with his own shit, and i relate to what he is going through.

i don’t want anyone to delve into what i’m saying and try and find this person, but i got hella fucking annoyed with how ignorant people are.

anyways, i’m so fucking over this. read people’s apologies, accept their apologies, and do NOT attack them after they’ve apologised. it is your choice to keep interacting with them or not.

[will80sbyers]

Last post I make on this for real this time

first of all I want to say don't send hate to aemiron on my behalf because I never want that even if he keeps throwing pretty heavy accusations towards me and calling me dumb I don't care I don't want anyone sending hate asks to anyone

I'll address the issue of these posts:

These were meant in direct response to this specific ask right here that I got

where this anonymous person put me wanting Henry dead in the show in the field of real life and I responded accordingly by pointing out the fact that people that think you can forgive serial killers in real life are not people I want to be around and I am not anti violence if someone is abusing his power over me

I was not talking about " people that make theories about Henry" or Henry theorists online and I was not talking about aemiron either

I was and am talking about people that are serial killer apologists in real life, I don't like you and your idea of peaceful moral superiority and I will not change my mind on this, if someone is attacking somebody else like that they need to be stopped

At the same time I responded with this to that ask

specifically saying I don't agree with capital punishment but I do think people that are actively killing others like Henry is in the show must be stopped from doing that, Henry in canon is represented as what in the media is a (pretty one dimensional) psychopath and is a serial killer, when I'm talking about "people like Henry" I mean people that have started killing others because of their trauma and also because they are exibiting literal symptoms of a disorder, in Henry's case, their extremely high narcisism + his predator mentality

Now to the accusations of me accusing him to be biphobic in my blog, before this I never made his name when I made posts about people having opinions about Mike that I think are born from a biphobic thought pattern- this is because I don't want to single out people I want to put the spot on the thing that is being discussed, not the person that made the post per sé

I stand by all of the posts I made talking about how some reasons that some gay Mike truthers say to justify them believing that Mike is gay are born from biphobic ideas or misconceptions about what bisexuality can be and can manifest as in a person/character

To end this whole thing, if he really didn't send the asks hating on me then I'm glad to hear that, as I said when I responded I couldn't be sure of that I only knew he was making bitchy posts about me specifically because people have been sending me that when it all started

For him using my name I don't have any problems with that, my name is public here and I have already responded to an ask talking about it saying the same thing

[ohnoitsjetster]

jesse!!! hi!! i have one very important question for you: ARE‼️YOU 🫵🏼 DAN🧍‍♂️REYNOLDS🎤⁉️

(okay now for my real question, what’s your fav hatchetfield installment?? it could be a musical or nightmare time ep or even workin’ boys if you’ve seen it :] i’m curious!! oh also if you want you can tell me about orin, i’m vaguely familiar with lsoh but it’s been a while!! so yea, free pass to talk about your lil gay sadist of a dentist <3 this was just an excuse to give you an ask so yk you can really just talk about whatever)

SOL! Hi hi hi hi !! (Sorry for the late response)

OHOHO! A dual fandom ask !! This means another long rambling post for my four most dedicated followers to read!!!! Im sorry in advance!!! this will probably be boring to everyone but me!!!!

I think my favorite might be NPMD. That one changed my brain chemistry for sure. But so did TGWDLM, I really believe that watching Show Stopping Number at the tender age of, like 11… well it just explains a lot about how i turned out ([obligatory “fuck Robert manion”]). I also frequently shake Time Bastard, Killer Track, and Abstinence Camp around in my teeth like a dog like HAUUFHGIGJHJGKKGKFGKRGJ RFRRRGJGG RRHHRHHRHH HREHHEGEGHGRGHRHHHHFFNFHFGGHF like that. But yeah at the present moment I'm being insane about NPMD. The songs are all bangers (Yes all of them) and I am in love with every character (Yes every character). High School is Killing Me is kind of my anthem right now. For no. Particular reason. Also, your honor those three nerds are all literally me and also i am in love with them and also im that fucked up dead bully but in a totally normal way.

So. Speaking of fucked up dead bullies… ‘,:]

Orin Scrivello, DDS <3 my beautiful bbg who has never done anything wrong in his life except for literally everything he did. Worst guy ever. But hey, you can’t choose who you rotate around in your brain, or how many Pinterest boards you make about it. Another instance of “he’s literally me but obviously not actually at all but I think he’s silly so that’s basically the same thing.” A tale as old as time. I don’t know how many queer awakenings one person can have but I was definitely already trans and bi when I saw Orin for the first(?*) time last year, and now, well now im the same but im more pretentious about it and I own a leather jacket. (*I actually saw LSOH a long time ago when i was way younger, but I didn’t remember it almost at all and I’d thought “The Dentist” was like this mad scientist type character, which, not exactly wrong ig, so anyway he’s been swimmin around in my brain making me silly for who knows how long, but yeah probably just since last year). I swear to cope with hyperfixating on such a fucked up character I’ve literally been making au’s in my brain where he’s morally ambiguous, or gets a redemption arc (he does not fucking deserve a redemption arc he deserves to be chopped up and fed to a bitchy gay plant), or where he’s literally just a nice guy. Yeah I’ll sometimes just remove the character from this character to appease the brain demons. But the cool thing about the Not an Asshole™️ AUs is that, in the og, the whole story basically goes south when Seymour justifies killing to feed the plant cause he can kill that jerk Orin, so if he’s not a jerk maybe they all survive?? Idk i just like thinkin. Also… ALSO!.. I made a post a while ago that I might someday make Orin textpost memes using pictures from my actual stage production, and well, that day has come! or, will come, soon. I’ve made the pictures I just have to make the post. It was very fun Im excited to share em. Okay thats all TYSM for the ask bestie!!!

Oh and to address your first question…

I 🧑🏻 AM 💥 DAN🧍‍♂️REYNOLDS 🎤 ✅

[muertawrites]

Request !! Reader on her period so bf!eddie gives her cuddles and tries to help her period cramps :(

(i'm on the second day of my period and having a horrible time with it so i needed this request. my emotions are being real bitchy to me.)

i'm just gonna write these as headcanons bc anything more formal i've tried today has flopped spectacularly

idk about the rest of y'all but i'm an emotional wreck on my period. a couple days beforehand i am just mean, and bitter, and all i want to do is cry, and on top of that i get really sleepy and just want to eat everything in sight, especially if it's high in sugar.

so this is the woman that our poor man has to deal with every month

i actually feel like eddie would be kind of squeamish about periods? like the whole concept just kind of grosses him out (and justifiably, because it is a very gross thing to go through). this means he's very careful with you when you're on your period, not wanting to be too rough or too intimate with you because it's totally weird down there right now and he doesn't want to cross a line (which is fair because, if you're like me, you go from "i just want to be swaddled like an infant" to "if anybody touches me i'll rip out their kidneys" in a matter of seconds)

but he also knows the hormones are hard on you because your emotions are just ruthless. and he's really good at supporting you when things are tough. so in this respect, he knows exactly what to do.

when you get angry at him, he knows not to argue with you. he argued with you once when you lashed out at him because of your period, and you felt so bad about the fight afterward that you made him a mixtape and bought him a new grinder to apologize. he also felt really bad and once you talked through it, he was quick to pick up on what was actual frustration and what was your period talking. (you can tell he's fictional bc he's emotionally intuitive lmaoooooo)

when you break down crying at random, he holds you. doesn't matter what the reason, he'll just plop you into his lap and cuddle you until the tears stop. he's perfectly happy letting you use him as a body pillow when you need to.

when you get really insecure about your body, or your skin starts breaking out because of the hormones, he's you go-to hype man. he reminds you constantly that you're pretty, the prettiest person he's ever seen, even when you're in your pajamas feeling gross and wishing you could become one with your mattress. totally the type of boyfriend who would do sheet masks with you. that has to stay between you, though. can't let the hellfire guys think he's going soft even tho he's soft as candy floss for you and everyone knows it.

always down to get munchies. will actually get high so you can have the munchies together. you tell him that that's not technically very sympathetic, since he loves getting high, but he buys you whatever snacks you want from 7-eleven and doesn't expect or even ask you to share, so you let it slide. loves taking you to mcdonald's or sonic late at night for fries and milkshakes.

he's SO cautious when you're cramping. even if you ask him to hold you he'll be really gentle and light with his touches because he doesn't want to hurt you. won't touch your stomach or even too high up on your thighs. he will refill your hot water bottle for you, though, and will get you ibuprofen or tea or whatever you ask him for to help.

will watch whatever comfort movie / show you want with you. he does tease you when cheesy stuff makes you overly emotional and you cry, but only because it's just so cute.

if you're in the shower he usually likes to join you, but if he knows you're on your period, he gives you space. i have a headcanon that he can get a little freaked out by the sight / smell of blood, ESPECIALLY after the incident with the demobats, so that's part of the reason. he definitely has ptsd from it and blood can trigger him.

idk he's still a guy and periods are weird to him, but he's a good boyfriend nonetheless. he does his best and he loves you. what more could you really ask for?

[animeyanderelover]

Prompt 40 for HxH Machi please?

I'm craving for holidays as always. Studies are a drag.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possesssive behavior, abduction,

Prompt 40

"How long are you going to lock yourself up inside of there?"

There was no answer from the other side of the door and Machi swallowed down the sigh that she felt building up inside of her. She was frustrated with your recent rebellious behavior yet knew very well that she couldn't have expected anything else after the abduction. It was entirely her own fault that she hadn't noticed you back then when she had found out that some hunters had found out about you and had gotten into a bloody fight. out of worries what Chrollo would do to you and her fear that you'd tell others about her identity, she hadn't been left with much of a choice but to kidnap you. The only thing she was thankful for was that the troupe had helped her with the search for a new place where you could be kept. Chrollo seemed partially fascinated with Machi's small obsession, had been lenient and allowed you to stay alive.

"(y/n), please answer me for once." she said to the closed door, her foot tapping impatiently against the wooden floor. It had been like this for the entire last week, your ignorance. Machi was sure that she was someone with a good amount of patience but she felt how you slowly broke it down with your touchy behavior. As justified as it was, you were only making the whole situation more complicated. All she wanted to do was to talk with you.

"(y/n), open the door or at least talk to me or else-"

"Or else what? Are you going to threaten me, break the door open or use your strings to kill me like you did with those two men?"

You snapped at her before she could even finish her sentence and your tone gave your entire bitterness, betrayal and resentment away. The pink-haired woman paused, she didn't like the accusing tone in your voice. Whilst it was true that she was a criminal and had killed people, she wasn't fond of being called only a mindless killer with a lust for blood and no heart, she had her own morals.

"I only want to talk with you like a civilized person but I can't if you continue to act like a bitchy child." was her quick response and she couldn't completely hide the ever so slightly present tone of annoyance in her voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry for reacting like a bitchy child after finding out that my supposed partner is a murderer and internationally wanted criminal who kidnapped me after I found out her secret and keeps me like some sort of prisoned pet in the middle of nowhere so I won't tell anyone!" you hissed fiercely back, her own annoyance only fueling your own temper as you were in disbelief how she had just told you that she only wanted to talk. What was there to even talk about?! It was all her fault.

"(y/n), I am not treating you like a prisoner. If you would be seriously considered a threat for them, you would have been dead already. It's only because I pleaded to let you stay alive because I love you that you're still unharmed. You don't want to know how we handle people we consider a threat for us." Machi replied in a low tone as if she really wanted to scare you right now. She heard shuffling behind the closed door and in the next moment she heard a lud slam from the other side as you hit your flat palm against the door.

"Am I supposed to be thankful now?! For having to stay the rest of my life as a imprisoned person with you?! I don't give a care anymore how you feel about me! You're just a liar and a murderer and nothing more! You killed people in cold blood and expect me to believe you and your promise that I'll be fine! Why don't you just kill me now?! That's what you and your friends can do best after all, can't they?!"

Deep down you knew that you were on thin ice with your words but you just didn't care anymore. You wanted to hurt her as much as she had hurt you with her lies. You had genuinely loved her at one point, had believed her to be better than your previous ex yet she was even worse than him. He was a scumbag but she was just a criminal who had gotten you into this situation where you would be killed if you would try anything. What a wonderful relationship it was!

You didn't hear her answer after that, you could only hear your own enraged breath and heartbeat. Initially you didn't care but after a few moments of nothing, anxiety started to fill you. Had you gone too far and truly triggered her? You hadn't meant it when you had said that you'd rather be killed now, you still valued your life and didn't want to be killed by the hands of the Phantom Troupe. You knew the rumors about them being cruel and heartless. You silently pressed your ear against the door, halting your breath to listen to any sounds from the other side. Still nothing.

"You want me to kill you?"

You flinched back when you heard her icy tone, your heart beating as your body was filled with anxiety. You made as much distance between the door and you as possible and only moments later that turned out to be the right decision. A sharp sound suddenly filled the silence and in the next moment the door suddenly opened itself with a loud bang, hanging afterwards only loosely where it was supposed to hang. You could see that the door handle outside had been broken, the slight glimmer of razor-sharp threats which had successfully cut through the material like it had been butter and Machi who was holding the threats. Her eyes landed instantly on you, took in your terrified form.

Your eyes were wide with horror as you cowered against the wall. You could feel the tears springing into your eyes and your breath quickening and tightening your chest. Machi didn't move, instead both of you continued to stare at each other.

"You're such a monster, you know? You expect me to forgive you after what you've done to others, to me? Are you going to kill me now like I expected you to do?"

Your tone was shaking and high-pitched as you choked on your own tears, still looking at her with your quivering pupils. For a short moment you saw something flashing across her features, a look of guilt or maybe even sadness. Her facial expression was just as fast to harden again and you didn't truly believe that she'd be able to feel like that after you had seen her taking lives with such ease as if it was nothing anymore to her. She turned around on her heels and walked away with quick steps and you only watched her walking down the stairs. You didn't move, not even after hearing the door slamming downstairs, hinting strongly that she had just left the house. You were too terrified, afraid that she'd come back to really finish you off. It took you about 10 minutes before you dared to carefully and cautiously move again.

---

You had told yourself that you'd be fine without her, that you wouldn't worry after she had scared you, threatened you like this. It had been fine the first three hours but after five hours you had started, despite your better judgement, to question when she'd come back. If she would even come back at all. You had gone to bed with a troubled mind despite your attempts to push all your worries down, only got a few hours of sleep before you woke up again and stayed awake for the rest of the night.

When she still hadn't returned in the morning, you had started to feel truly uneasy which had led you to walking around in panic in the living room. She wasn't here and you had time to run away if you would have wanted yet the still present fear of being killed in gruesome ways from the Phantom Troupe held you back.

After a while you had started to search for some kind of phone in hopes of being able to call her even if you didn't even know if she still had the phone from back then when you hadn't known the truth about her. After a while of just rummaging around in all drawers, you had indeed found some sort of cellphone. It seemed like an older exemplar which you couldn't unlock and you instantly assumed it was because otherwise you might try to call someone. The only thing this device seemed to be able to do was to call someone, you didn't know whom though.

You just held it in your hands for a while, thought with jittery nerves whether or not you shold risk to call this emergency number or not. It was in this house so you could have assumed Machi had left it for you in case you'd be in trouble but you weren't completely sure. What if you would end up calling the boss of hers, the worst from all? After weighting out the pros and cons for a while, you decided with a heavy and nervous heart to press the function to call the number.

You only received the long beeps which made you feel more and more on edge, instant regret filling your mind. What if a completely unknown person would answer you? Just as you were about to press the red button to end the call, someone picked up and the sudden lack of the beeping sound startled you more than it should have. No one on the other side of the line answered though as if they were just listening and so you held the phone against your ear with sweaty hands, contemplating whether to say something or not. You still didn't know who it was.

"What is it? Why did you call me via the emergency phone?"

You stumbled back out of relief when you recognized Machi's voice, still sounding cold and distant, but it was her nevertheless.

"Where are you? What are you doing? You haven't come back since yesterday evening?" were the first things you blurted out to her.

"...What I am doing? I'm punishing myself."

This answer took you back quite a bit as you didn't know what to say after hearing her saying it.

"...Why? Why would you do that?" you decided to ask after a moment of silence from your side, your voice giving away how unsure you felt.

"Why? Because I upset you earlier. I do know that it's my fault and that I can't expect forgiveness anytime soon. Instead I only scared you even more, didn't I? I lost my temper which shouldn't have happened. Especially not with you."

She mumbled the last part in a softer tone and you really thought that you could hear the regret in her voice in that moment.

"Ah..." was the best thing you could reply with, you didn't know what else you could say. You couldn't deny that you were a bit worried but your anger was far from resolved either. Another silence filled the two lines afterwards and somehow you could feel that both of you didn't have to say anything else to each other, or rather both of you didn't know how to.

"I see, I guess both of us need to calm down a bit. Be careful." you said halfheartedly before ending the call. You stood there for a couple of seconds more though, with the phone pressed against your ear before you put it back in the drawer.

[withswords]

BITCHY

i haven't listened to the album in full yet but just the way that this is phrased pisses me off like some of us care about criticism something being "fun" doesn't justify 5 stars!! is this thing that you get a baseline level of enjoyment out of actually the peak of any music that you've experienced, represented by a full 100/100 score? or do you just not listen to much music? i am so mad right now ddfghsgh

[tadpolesonalgae]

Okie i'll copy you for a bit a do the quote for each comment thing so i dont get lost hehe

I don’t know? I think to us as readers of the series I kind of agree, but then he cooperated with the alliance, and also I’m on the side that if anyone should be able to see through his mask it should be the IC since hello Rhysand? UTM? CoN???? The idea of a mask/persona???

honestly this is one of the million problems with acotar because yeah when i say the ic has no way of knowing that eris isn't all bad i mean sjm keeps writing the story like that but you're right it doesn't make any sense. i mean even apart from eris doing literally what rhys has been doing since forever, how am i suppose to believe that mor knows all truth or whatever her powers even are and that rhys is a mind reader, and azriel and amren are supposed to be able to read people so well, that azriel's shadows see things that others don't but they still think eris is as bad as beron. that and both eris and mor kinda have made it seem like there's something else there (i genuinely think sjm planned on making mor and eris mates or something but then people started calling her out on having no diversity and she made mor gay out of nowhere). im also pretty sure its common knowledge in the ic that yes eris dumped her over the border without any other help which sucks but he didn't actually hurt her (that was kier) and one look at the autumn court would be enough to tell them that mor would have been hurt even worse if beron had seen her so how did they not put 2 and 2 together. i guess he still hurt her enough and as her friends they probably wont ever forgive him but it doesnt make sense logically for them to still think eris is the same as beron

This might sound hypercritical or conflictive but I’m not writing/don’t want to write Mor to be a bitch? I like Mor and while it might add to the angst and drama to have her be cruel to reader I just wouldn’t be able to commit to it 😭 In my mind it was Mor acting on the hurt reader has caused her and while it was unnecessary, emotions should be let out?

im sorry to say but mor was in fact a bitch but i get what you're saying like she's justified in her anger (in a way) but yeah trying to make someone who just attempted suicide feel bad about themselves is beyond bitchy. but im saying this as someone who doesn't really like mor most times (to me there's no depth to her character tbh like she was just there as the obligatory female friend for feyre, if you compare how developed cass and az are to mor... yeah she just falls flat idk if its bc cass and az will become the main characters in their books and mor might not get one or if its just not so great writing coming from miss maas once more)

Azriel calling Mor out??? After some of the things he’s said to reader????

i feel like this could be a good turning point though. like imagine azriel heard it and calls her out and has to admit not only to himself but out loud about all the shitty uncalles for comments he's thrown reader's way but even while admitting to it, deciding that he wants to be better to her and calling out mor on her bullshit is one way of doing it. also calling out mor is especially significant because of the whole he was in love with her for 500 years (i refuse to go with sjm's shitty ass "he loved her for 500 years and one day just stopped" bullshit - if she was a decent writer who cared a little more about character growth and plot instead of superficial romance tropes and smut she would write a whole book for azriel with no love interest but of him finding his own way and letting go of his love for mor that lasted for 500 fucking years before ever thinking of making him fall for someone else anyway i digress)

That would be so ooc of reader but I think it would be funny (in theory) for reader to suddenly do a 180° and act with them how she does around Eris and snap something smart and sassy back 😭🤭

i hope the ic gets to see her being herself with eris though and realize they really dont know shit about her

But then also idk how much the ‘thinking loudly’ was amplified by Rhys and Feyre’s bond, so whether it would even apply to reader in that way?

honestly sjm refuses to explain anyone's powers or even how magic works atp so who knows

also i saw another ask of you going in on cc and i would like to join a little. i have to start by saying i havent read the books bc i didn't do anything wrong but from the bits I've seen her writing really has been going downhill and it shows the most in the cc books. i never thought she was an amazing writer tbh like acotar reads to me like a teenager book almost but with smut so it's supposed to be ya and if it wasnt for fanfic i wouldn't be here or even remember the books. i read the first one and already had to skim through some of it but then the 2nd one was a bit more promising, unfortunately the 3rd book was going downhill by the chapter, i dont even like to talk about acosf because how is that supposed to be a book about healing when everyone that's supposed to love nesta treats her like shit and most of it is just smut that does nothing at all for the plot. so im not surprised that not only has cc been having a lot of these critics but also that sjm doubled down on the smut in that book. i also heard some of the characters are kind of copy paste from acotar but again i havent read the books. i honestly dont even know if i'll read any other acotar book because they keep getting worse and whether elain ends up with az or lucien or az with gwyn or elain, i dont think sjm will be able to pull a good book out of it when there's this big mess between all of the characters i mentioned plus her insistence on making the ic act like assholes to each other, creating a found family to make it shitty is just dumb in my opinion, but i know for a fact im not gonna read any of the other sjm series (even though tog is supposed to be the best one) and even if i did i wouldnt touch the modern fantasy if it was the last book on earth tbh. technology ends up taking a lot of the magic out of fantasy and obviously im reading fantasy because i like magical aspects. one of the reasons the later books fell off for me too tbh, she started modernizing things too much (like leggings and cans of soup?? when there are no factories or anything?) like the spring court had so many fun magic things and then velaris was a city with clubs, the moonstone palace and the hewn city felt more magical at times than the court of dreams.

i also agree that one of the biggest problems with the later books is the amount of smut. i like smut as much as the next person and dont mind reading pwp but in fanfictions not in books i pay for and that are written by professional authors. sjm tries less and less to write good characters and to keep up a plot because she knows her fantasy books were one of the first of the "spicy fantasy romance" to become popular and she's not losing that place and smut sells so who cares about a good story? definitely not her.

and with the bryce thing you're absolutely right, from what i've read she acts like a petulant selfish child most of the time and correct me if i'm wrong but she's not supposed to be like 19 like feyre so she's a grown ass woman. and yeah i definitely think sjm made her plus size because again she got called out for having no diversity in her books but treats it really weirdly. im someone who may not be plus size but pretty close to it and the way sjm writes bryce definitely gives me weird vibes. what i've seen most and even some people talk about is that a lot of characters keep mentioning how they're attracted to bryce, like sjm doesnt expect us ymto believe bryce is really hot by the descriptions she's made unless she keeps reminding us that people wanna fuck her. idk it may just be a bit of my trauma reading into it

im sorry if this ran too long im a bit drunk apologies - 🧶

Warnings: CC spoilers!, plus a little more slander, please consider looking away if you like the series! 🧡💛

‘when i say the ic has no way of knowing that eris isn't all bad i mean sjm keeps writing the story like that’

Right? Please miss Maas I want everyone to get along and be happy, let the drama between Eris and Mor be solved so that everyone can be happy and peaceful 😭

‘how am i suppose to believe that mor knows all truth or whatever her powers even are and that rhys is a mind reader, and azriel and amren are supposed to be able to read people so well, that azriel's shadows see things that others don't but they still think eris is as bad as beron.’

Also we’re kind of kept in the dark about specifics too? Mor’s just said to have ‘truth’ but what does that mean!! Can she force people to tell the truth? Can she see things in their true form?? Has she come out of the cave and seen the sun and the shadows it casts???? (Plato’s cave reference 😎)

Like I can understand to a degree why Rhys doesn’t look into people’s minds and appreciate that part of his character—that while he is morally greyish he has his own rules if that makes sense? He has his own perception of right and wrong which makes him interesting? But I might be confusing canon with fanon here 🫣

And yes I can see how miss Maas has written the IC to be flawed and Eris even says how Rhys is blinded by his love for his family so he has trouble seeing truths or discrepancies in those around him?

‘(i genuinely think sjm planned on making mor and eris mates or something but then people started calling her out on having no diversity and she made mor gay out of nowhere).’

Haha I hadn’t thought of it like that!

I’m still unsure what I’d choose between no representation vs. bad representation? On one hand it’s kind of disheartening/irritating to see sexuality used as such a cheap plot point? Unless miss Maas expands on it properly it’ll feel kind of useless to me? But then on the other hand representation is representation, like at least it’s becoming more prevalent in general media? I think another angle is some of the issues with acotar wouldn’t be as problematic as they are if the book series wasn’t so popular? But because it’s liked by so many people it’s also under much more intensive scrutiny when I don’t know if Miss Maas even planned for it to be taken so seriously as it is in some places? Not that the analysis is a bad thing, though, it’s interesting to see different things pointed out if I’d missed them the first time? (Particularly with Emerie and her descriptions of beauty? I hadn’t noticed it in the first read through but then saw some other people pointing it out, as well as other things?)

‘but he didn't actually hurt her (that was kier) and one look at the autumn court would be enough to tell them that mor would have been hurt even worse if beron had seen her so how did they not put 2 and 2 together.’

I suppose while Eris didn’t hurt her, Mor was in an extremely vulnerable position and the with Eris already being from the autumn court it would be easy to make the assumption that he would have inherited the beliefs in his father? Also with the saying of ‘if you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem’—I think that’s contextual, but for the sake of the point it’s making, I’m using it here—Eris didn’t do anything to help Mor that we know of, and also according to Mor’s narrative Eris said some cruel things, but then on the other hand since Eris hasn’t done or said anything exactly to contradict what Mor’s said so I’m not going to blame the IC for being protective and standing with her on what was likely an extremely traumatising moment for her? Honestly I guess it would be kind of weird and shitty if they doubted her to be honest 😭

‘im sorry to say but mor was in fact a bitch but i get what you're saying like she's justified in her anger (in a way)’

I expressed myself wrong, sorry 😭

Mor definitely said something bad, but I’m not going to write her in cbmthy to continue making horrid comments like that when nobody else is around, it was kind of a one-off thing so hopefully she won’t be a bitch in the rest of the story, just temporarily 🤭🧡💛

‘yeah trying to make someone who just attempted suicide feel bad about themselves is beyond bitchy.’

Hard agree, I might even have to say it was a little uncalled for 🫣😳🫢

‘to me there's no depth to her character tbh like she was just there as the obligatory female friend for feyre, if you compare how developed cass and az are to mor...’

I think in the books/canon she’s a bit contradictory? Maybe? With how harsh she is with Nesta and how gentle she is with Feyre? I can understand it I suppose, thinking of it through Mor’s perception, but it does sometimes feel like Mor was added just to be the one to add drama to the books? There might be something to say about how Mor and Amren are written as female characters as opposed to the batboys who we’re supposed to like and are romantic interests? Fanon Mor though 🧡💛🫂😭

‘like imagine azriel heard it and calls her out and has to admit not only to himself but out loud about all the shitty uncalles for comments he's thrown reader's way’

Okay so this is something I (maybe unnecessarily? I’m genuinely not sure) want to stretch out for a bit and give it time so it doesn’t magically disappear? With Azriel facing some of the things he’s said to reader and why they were so hurtful to her? I think him knowing she tried to kill herself will speed things up, but only to a certain degree since there’s still a lot they don’t know about one another?

‘i refuse to go with sjm's shitty ass "he loved her for 500 years and one day just stopped" bullshit’

I guess one might be able to argue he was naturally coming out of it already but it there’s no evidence to really support that? I guess it would be difficult to implement it though due to the nature of where the story started and who it follows, but it would have made more sense in my opinion if we somehow got to see Az beginning to lose feelings for Mor, but because that would require something to be set before Feyre came along I guess it would be impossible 😭

‘i hope the ic gets to see her being herself with eris though and realize they really dont know shit about her’

They probably will, however reader is the one who intentionally or not does change how she acts around people? To a certain extent reader does try to act more ‘appropriately’ around them? Like she would never speak to Rhys the way she speaks sometimes to Eris 😭 Though I can imagine it might be funny if she accidentally did and then slapped her hand over her mouth because she hadn’t meant to 😭

‘i never thought she was an amazing writer tbh like acotar reads to me like a teenager book almost but with smut’

I was wondering, did you know anything about acotar before you started reading it? I went in blind since a friend recommended it to me, so I had no idea about how popular it was or anything, but I can see how if someone had heard how hyped up people were about it and then read it, it might fall flat and be super disappointing?

‘but also that sjm doubled down on the smut in that book.’

I know I feel quite strongly that Bryce and Hunt didn’t really have that much of an emotional connection compared to their physical one? Though to be fair I also love seeing emotional vulnerability so maybe it was just a difference in taste? If you’re someone who liked that kind of lust-fuelled romance that’s fine, but personally it wasn’t my cup of tea :/

It also felt like when Bryce and Hunt introduced that ‘no sex’ rule (I think maybe in CC2) it was Miss Maas realising she hadn’t built up and kind of tension between them and had jumped into sex way too quickly and so was trying to dial it back which irritated me? I skipped over I think all of the sex scenes in CC2 because I just wanted them to hurry along and get back to the plot? Also I feel like Miss Maas was trying to make them kind of freaky to appeal to the smutty side, like with the dry humping, the electricity (I think a vibrator might have also been used but I skimmed the scenes so I can’t remember) it was just too much for me when I wanted to read about what was happening and wasn’t interested in their relationship at all 😭

‘i honestly dont even know if i'll read any other acotar book because they keep getting worse’

I know I won’t be reading another CC book and will just wait for someone to very kindly write a summary for it, but I’m desperately hoping she won’t mess up another acotar book 😭

If she does though, isn’t it such a relief we have fanfiction? 😭

‘like the spring court had so many fun magic things and then velaris was a city with clubs, the moonstone palace and the hewn city felt more magical at times than the court of dreams.’

I absolutely adore that factor in fantasy books! I particularly like Holly Black’s version of fae, where they live off the land more and are much more tricky to deal with? More folklore-esque, and I wish we saw more of that kind of thing in acotar 😭 I agree the Spring Court with the will-o-wisps was so lovely—To Old Gods is one of my favourite pieces in that aspect and I want to write and read more of that kind of ancient/slightly mythical/sometimes eldritchy magic 😭

‘i also agree that one of the biggest problems with the later books is the amount of smut. i like smut as much as the next person and dont mind reading pwp but in fanfictions not in books i pay for and that are written by professional authors.’

I used to enjoy reading smut in books (I only started reading regularly and realising I enjoyed it in the past four years) because it was new and exciting but I think now if it’s in professionally written books I absolutely adore it and author has nailed emotional connection? And yes, pwp in fanfiction? Great! Love it! But the amount of smut in CC was unbelievable and I suppose that might be how you feel about acosf? I have to admit I liked it but I think it’s heavily to do with enjoying the characters 😭 Bryce and Hunt in CC? I don’t want to read about that, please spare my eyes 😭😞

‘so who cares about a good story? definitely not her.’

I think I disagree with you here? Maybe? I can’t remember the CC books in particularly great detail? 😭 I think actually for the most part I did find the plot parts a little slow, and Bryce and Hunt made it worse for me, however I loved the ending to CC2, and I enjoyed the asteri story but I think the power levels got out of control? (Don’t even get me started on how Bryce literally doesn’t earn her magic, it infuriates me so much!!! Feyre, Aelin, and Nesta all went through some kind of training and Bryce literally just touches a stone then inherits starlight and has the audacity to say she worked for it? Babes, no.)

And actually with miss Maas being lazy in writing—her using a pill so that Bryce can understand the acotar world was so obviously a deus ex machina. It was so cheap and basic there wasn’t a single amount of thought that went into it.

‘and correct me if i'm wrong but she's not supposed to be like 19 like feyre so she's a grown ass woman.’

Yup. She’s twenty-three 😐

‘what i've seen most and even some people talk about is that a lot of characters keep mentioning how they're attracted to bryce, like sjm doesnt expect us ymto believe bryce is really hot by the descriptions she's made unless she keeps reminding us that people wanna fuck her.’

Honestly that wasn’t that big of an issue for me? Like I get it’s fantasy so I can excuse every love interest and even some who aren’t being attracted to the fmc, but I did definitely have an issue with how lust-fuelled and physical it was 😶‍🌫️

Like with Feyre and Tarquin it’s made clear they’re both attractive/beautiful people but I got the impression that ultimately they liked (?) one another for who they were? To an extent they had a kind of understanding and felt more honest?

‘idk it may just be a bit of my trauma reading into it’

Not sure how much it will help but I’m sending you internet hugs :/ 🫂🫂🫂

‘im sorry if this ran too long im a bit drunk apologies - 🧶’

Haha, don’t apologise it was fun getting to discus all these things with you!! 🧡💛

[phxntomsdusk]

READ THIS NOW!

every single anon, read this.

anyone who sees this, READ THIS!

i’m sick of how inconsiderate people are. people apologise and apologise and apologise and yet you’re still going to let that information go in one ear and out the other. you are not willing to listen and you are going to go after someone because of something they couldn’t control.

i’m so fucking glad that my mum and dad taught me how to be safe on the internet and how to talk about things instead of resorting to violence and so many essential life lessons.

an example of these are:

some opinions are not worth being shared

if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything

you need to be considerate of the fact that you don’t know what some people have gone through

some things have no reason to be justified, and some things need no justification

these anons are absolute scum. they deserve no place on here. if you are going to hate someone or make someone feel like shit, turn off anonymous and say it right to someone face, even if it is over a screen. do not hide your identity just so you can have a horrid opinion on something.

and if you know people irl that you interact with online, deal with them irl. not over a screen. that is such a bitchy move. do not be an asshole, whether you love or hate that person.

i have so many things i want to say, but this situation is not about me, and i am not willing to be vulnerable on here with such sensitive topics.

if you are not going to accept someone apology and reasoning, fuck off. do not make someone’s issue yours and make them feel even worse. that is a horrible move.

yes, i’m young. yes, i’m a bit stupid. yes, i know basically nothing about the world and i am very uneducated, but i have very knowledgeable parents, even though they’re 33 and 40.

i am very fucking smart, and i know a lot of things. yes, i’m being a little self-centred right now, but it’s needed to prove my point.

accept their apology. make their life and mental health feel okay and at peace. they deserve it. even if they did some fucked up shit and fucked around and “found out”, let them feel okay about themselves.

whether these people have been put in jail a multitude of times or have been involved in a tiny drama at school, you respect them. you do not have to like someone to respect someone. respect is a huge huge thing. so is hate. be responsible.

be a good fucking person and be respectful.

whether you are a responsible adult with a stable income, or you’re a 13 year old using this app, be respectful. be considerate. be a good. fucking. person.

i do not give a fuck if you have the best life on earth, or if you have been sexually assaulted, you deserve any and all respect.

i’ve been talking with a friend who has been dealing with a bunch of shit in the last few hours and he is very very very upset about it and is still a bit hesitant about me doing this. i’ve talked with him and made sure he’s alright and given him every right to restart again, to have a safe space. he’s dealing with his own shit, and i relate to what he is going through.

i don’t want anyone to delve into what i’m saying and try and find this person, but i got hella fucking annoyed with how ignorant people are.

anyways, i’m so fucking over this. read people’s apologies, accept their apologies, and do NOT attack them after they’ve apologised. it is your choice to keep interacting with them or not.

[silviakundera]

Lighter and Princess Episode 6

idk if this is on purpose or not by the stylists, but it struck me that he now looks more mainstream. Normal hair, more standard clothes. Is he tweaking his look into what he thinks is more her type? 🤔

Ren Di is completely my type as a university student. Don't leave me girl, I still need my eye candy 😭

can't believe I'm stuck here with class president, ML in his self-important brat era, and a version of the FL that I'm not even horny for 😭😭

Professor X uses a very suspect metaphor to convince FL that ML is not her mom. The true captain of this ship.

wow, that's the lamest bar fight I've encountered in a cdrama. and that's saying something.

but now ML is wooing FL by commenting on her code. That's... pretty much how I had Mark win over Eduardo in my most popular TSN fic. 🙈 So, valid.

"Miss Zhu, what's wrong with me?"/ Nothing. You're good. / (sexual tension you could cut with a knife) / "They're coming." / "Who is afraid, you or I?"

OKKKKKKKAY that was chemistry. And you obviously, obviously are so into each other. So just get together already. I suppose I've been there. They're drawing it out because they're enjoying the mutual chase.

ML totally deserves to be in a horrible bitchy mood after Random Female Extra spilled coffee on his computer (justified homicide tbh) and yet, my dude, there were a hundred more times you'd be justified to be a jerk to Annoying Class President. Like, the 1 (one) thing that's not legit is to shame her for not being as smart as your canon-certified genius self. There are so many other valid reasons she sucks.

As she immediately demonstrates. ugh, can't stand her.

Episode 7

sigh, my second hand embarrassment squick is not enjoying the bid subplot. They do suck at design but ML's methods are also very immature. Most rl professionals wouldn't do business again with a partner that pulled that bullshit on a bid, even if they won it. The narrative tries to excuse it but NO. This is the type of engineer who needs to be transferred to more independent tasks, who you quarantine from having to work with others before he death spirals your staff turn-over rate 😂

His boss boyfriend shtick is age appropriate dumb, so it's endearing. He's been creating reasons to allow her to stick with him for a long time now. And she's actively participating, while pretending to have no choice.

ML recovers his image in my eyes with his practicality at his project being swiped by the org higher in the hierarchy. Pick your battles. It's one thing between independent companies, but this is an internal fight they can't win. They don't have the political muscle in the uni. Unless the professor wants to go to battle for them, or if her mom has a connection. But even then, why spend your social capital that way? I'd just take the L and move on. [Edit: I'm on ep 10 and have to laugh because she DID leverage her connections to win the battle. well ok then, girl! 😂 ]

Episode 8

ha ha I'd also do absolute bare minimum (if that) on the stolen project, so I'm feeling FL at the start. Guys, this is where malicious compliance shines!

ML and Annoying Class President uniting to protect FL was not what I was expecting to start this episode.

"As for Li Xun's matter, I care." sigh. A fool, but a romantic one.

Evil Project Stealer is incompetent. That should be its own vengeance in a way. But sadly there are always those people who are incredibly skilled in managing up and so they coast forever.

Her minion is actually pathetic, though. Those grad school traps where you're blocked from finishing your program & get taken advantage of are very very real. It happens in North America too.

Cutely drunk FL is an overused cliche BUT I am enjoying the dynamic of Ren Di with the budding couple and most importantly, FL is indeed adorable smooshing her face into his neck. and then clutching his hand ❤

I applaud her crawling into his bed. But the fact that he wasn't in it reduces 2 stars.

A+ collapsing against his shoulder to sleep, though. awww he admitted she affects him.

[foggywonderlandgentlemen]

Hi hello I am very interested in your thoughts on how 07 Raph was done dirty by the narrative, if you don't mind (I also just like hearing other people's thoughts on my favourite lad lol)

I would LOVE to ramble about this! Sorry for the late reply, I had to rewatch the movie so I could more accurately write a small essay in response. Anyways, Raph my friend Raph. Also Leo.

I guess my main complaint is that Raph and Leo are both framed by the movie as more or less equally “wrong” in their actions. They’re both arrogant, both hotheaded, and both completely unwilling to talk it out. So what all did either of them really do “wrong”?

Raph’s vigilante-ing is framed as morally wrong within the narrative, but no explanation is really offered. As TMNT, the group functionally operates as vigilantes, stopping crime and fighting baddies. When Raph goes off on his own, it’s really not the fact that he’s doing violent things that’s the problem. It’s the fact that he’s doing it alone.

When Raph is gone during the night, he sleeps during the day. His few interactions with his brothers are tense at best and downright hostile if anyone so much as looks at him wrong. And him neglecting to be around for his family has real consequences. Donnie and Mikey both have jobs to try to keep all of them afloat, to various degrees of bodily and mental harm. None of them really talk anymore, and the fault is largely placed on Raph. As Donnie says, “Your rogue attitude has always been a source of contention to this team”.

As for Leo, we see a lot of the same “problems” as with Raph. He functioned as a vigilante in Central America, he has a temper, and at the very least, a convincing show of an ego. He can’t interact with his brothers the way he used to because he’s been god knows where for a whole year. And again, his flaws are isolation and lack of understanding of his family as a result. And all of this culminates in The Rooftop Scene.

Oh boy, The Rooftop scene. So, they’re both kind of dicks in this scene. Understandably so, but it’s clear that the audience isn’t necessarily supposed to agree with either Mr. I’m Better Than You Leonardo or Mr. Anger Issues Raphael. Leo’s cocky, bitchy, and lectures him. But Raph is still dunked on for being angry, for having a temper, as if Leo isn’t just as bad. Donnie even mentions it earlier in the movie.

So what’s their beef with each other? Well, Raph tells Leo off for being smug, for coming back and immediately trying to take over as leader as if nothing has changed. He is mad at Leo for leaving, but doesn’t want to admit that things fall apart without him, so he’s angry at him for coming back too. His anger is completely justified in my opinion, but still framed as “bad”.

Meanwhile, Leo is suffering from an acute case of Eldest Daughter Syndrome. I could make a whole other essay on how Splinter treats him in this movie but I’ll make it brief: Leo is suffocating under the weight of responsibility, after having literally been told that it’s his job to fix the family, and wants everything to fall back into place. This obviously isn’t happening with Raph, so Leo gets pushy. He’s also of the opinion that regular human things should be left to the regular humans, while Raph thinks they should help whenever they can.

And then Raph leaves and Leo gets got, and the blame is indirectly put on Raph. He left, he was the one who ultimately “wanted” to be a loner. And as a direct result, his brother, having lost his swords in their confrontation, gets nerf darted and kidnapped. So Raph is framed as the bad guy at the very end of the confrontation. Even if neither party was necessarily in the right, Raph ends up being in the wrong.

In the very next scene, Raph confesses to accidentally leaving Leo behind. He directly says “I know there’s a reason why he’s the better son and I’m not” during this. Splinter gives him a brief pep talk, notes that his qualities could be that of a leader as well, but “only when tempered with compassion and humility”. Once again, Raph’s character flaws are front and center for this interaction.

And look, I’m not saying that Raph can’t be an angry little bitch at times. Of course he can! That’s part of why I like him so much! But his temper is framed as the guilty party, and he has to “redeem” himself in order for his arc to be complete. And his temper really isn’t the issue. Sure it’s not helping, but the real problem is both Leo and Raph’s tendency to isolate. And those qualities don’t come out of nowhere (side-eyes the previous movie’s trauma as well as Splinter).

They team back up, Raph saves Leo to “redeem” himself, they beat the bad guy, everything’s good! Except the fact that neither of their true problems were addressed. Sure, they’re a team again, but they never acknowledged the problem as both of their needs to be in complete control and completely independent. This could have been a fairly easy fix too, a short conversation where they both acknowledge their isolation at the end of the film would have sufficed. But they didn’t.

TLDR: Raph and Leo both got fucked over by their flaws being presented as anger and smugness respectively, when the true problem was their tendency to self isolate, which never got acknowledged.

[bryhaven]

EDUCATIONAL POST: Signs that Mikasa Ackerman is in a TOXIC relationship

Now I'll be saying from the get-go that this post is NOT meant to undermine any Mikasa ship, especially with Eren. And NOT undermining the author and their writing. I didn't want to have to do this. But I'm forced to put this out here because some shippers and haters alike keep claiming and some even harassing other shippers (mostly the RM stans), and say that EM is not toxic. And even add that our ship RM is problematic.

I am the type of person that when given a nonsense argument, I will slap you with facts. Or give you a witty comeback (if I feel bitchy enough). This person below called me toxic and judgmental, claimed that those of low IQ cannot understand what Eren did blah blah blah. And then blocked me once I gave them a comeback.

Hence, this post is here to define what a TOXIC relationship is. And please take note that I will only discuss the parts where the relationship became toxic. Because someone might come saying, "But before that..", "But after this.." and so on. It doesn't even matter what happened before or after. Or even all the reasoning behind the actions. Remember, the end doesn't justify the means. The fact remains that the relationship became toxic.

According to Dr. John Delony in ramseysolutions.com, there are signs to check and find out whether you're in a toxic relationship.

1. Not feeling safe. This pertains to both physical and emotional safety. I don't see Mikasa feeling emotionally and physically safe when she talked about her thoughts and feelings, especially in the table scene with Eren. Her voice didn't matter to him because he was only set in completing his goal. And whenever she tried to speak up further, he would just brush her off.

2. Bad (or nonexistent) communication. This type of communication includes gaslighting, manipulating words, and being dishonest. Eren didn't tell them the entire truth and also used words to manipulate them, particularly Mikasa, into believing something else that he made up. Again, to further his own purposes.

3. Feeling neglected and exploited. I don't see Eren honoring or even seeing the reason why Mikasa was being overly protective of him back in the day. He was always angered at her whenever she tried to just watch out for him, or whenever she was being clingy. This is a psychological need that she has which was developed from a trauma, and Eren couldn't tend to or even acknowledge that.

4. Feeling like you’ve lost yourself. It is needless to say that Mikasa lost her sense of self here after hearing Eren's words. Eren clearly set off an anxiety alarm.

5. Judgment—not curiosity—is the norm. The way this was phrased, even in the manga, seemed judging and imposing. It's like he's judging her ability to fight with that length of hair which ended up imposing on her to do something about it. To rephrase it into the lifeblood of a relationship which is curiosity, he could have said something within the lines of "Does it bother you in training if you wear your hair down like this/with this length of hair?". Or he could have exuded care like "Would you be alright fighting with your length of hair?" or "Maybe you should try tying your hair so it doesn't bother you?". But then, no. He did not.

6. Feeling belittled and ashamed. Eren made her feel less than, and rubbed her nose in something from the past.

7. Not receiving empathy. Eren would either dismiss her when she tries to share something important or speak her thoughts, and she is usually met with apathy. Because Eren would usually direct the conversation back to himself and even try to one-up her in conversations since he is mostly focused on his own goals; when Mikasa here is only wanting for him to be safe. He often saw her as a bother, and always reasoned that she had no reason to do that since she's not his mother.

8. Playing a dysfunctional role. Service and sacrifice are parts of a good relationship. But then, it should be mutually giving and supportive. In this one, Mikasa more than often fulfills a mothering role. She made that promise to Carla to look after Eren. She always goes out of her way to care for him, even sacrificing her own safety. And because of that, she has grown to believe that it is her job to fix him, at the expense of her own feelings, needs, and joy. Sure, he has given her a reason to continue on living, inspired her to fight. But she has paid him more than enough for that service.

9. Feeling controlled or manipulated. Aside from manipulating her with words in the table discussion scene, Eren tried to tip the balance in his favor. This is in the sense that he makes use of her strength in the attack on Liberio. Even though this is Mikasa Ackerman with superhuman strength we are talking about, he still put her in harm's way by making her fight in the frontline. Whether or not it is in her will to do what he asked her, you can still see the hesitation and uncertainty in Mikasa while knowing what she was about to commit. And she follows anyway because of Eren and his reasonings. And a recurring theme in her thoughts is something within the lines of "Is this what Eren wants?" or "What if Eren will..", and her mind always spirals back to Eren. Mind control right there.

10. Living under a cloud of rage. Needless again to say (and for a picture since Tumblr doesn't allow more than 10 pics in a post. Urgh. Lol), Eren has been a chronically angry person. He is always frustrated by something, and often explodes in episodes of rage. A person like that cannot be fully supportive in a relationship. And though he has his own reasons for it (and some are understandable), it doesn't justify the things he made Mikasa undergo. And a crime is still a crime in the end.

And there you have it. EM has actually ticked all 10 boxes.

Again, I am just explaining the toxicity in the relationship. Not taking bias over something just to explain this, and not hating on any character. You can still understand or even like a character even though you don't align with their intentions, or even if you don't like their development.

If EM is your cup of tea, then by all means, go ahead and ship it. But DON'T go harassing others for it, or reblogging their posts with nonsense captions, or calling them out with rude descriptions, and then block them if they finally give you a comeback.

And DON'T go claiming that EM is not toxic, dysfunctional, or unhealthy in any way when you don't even have the FACTS to back it with.

Over and OUT!

[peterman-spideyparker]

i know karen page is not really fave of yours but you write her well enough that i think i should bring this to you. so daredevil was 2015-18 and the word was not coined yet but now that its coming back, how do you think karen would react about people who are being “a karen”. yknow, the smarmy & bitchy women. would foggy & matt tease her when she’s in a tetchy mood and tell her to ‘stop being a karen’ but in an affectionate way? how would she react about her name having that new meaning? ty 🙏

Hey, Nonny, thanks for the ask!! *hugs* and thank you!!!! I feel it’s a worry of all fanfic writers that they might not capture a character right or they’re worried about how they’re writing a character, so hearing something like that is a real encouragement.

And, I mean, I think Karen is okay, I just really wish they would have wrote her character differently. It’s like they leaned in on a few different extremes and tried to smush them together without really thinking about it and kinda flip flopped on too many different things. Anyways, I digress, cuz I wanna get to your ask!

I think Karen would definitely have mixed feelings about it. Like, she knows that labeling is a thing and that groups of people and certain behaviors need to have a name, but I feel she might have a different name for ordering/shopping/etc.

That being said, I feel it would slowly wear at her—almost to the same extent as when you work with someone and they constantly misspell your name or call you by the wrong name/mispronounce your name.

I feel Matt and Foggy only use ‘Karen’ as a verb occasionally when they talk about maybe an opposing client or an experience, because they don’t want to risk Karen getting upset. She is there fried, after all, and while you can tease friends, you never want to push them past their limit.

Most of the time, she doesn’t mind when they mention it in casual conversation.

Sometimes, she’d joke “How much of a Karen? On a scale of ‘me-Karen’ to ‘well-see-this-on-the-news-Karen’?”

But if they call Karen a Karen?

Oooohhhhh boy.

They would rue the day.

I mean, I can see it happening on a day when she’s already in a bad mood. So bringing this up?

Maybe Matt or Foggy would ask for follow up on case research or if she was able to reach a character witness or something, and she’d give them a short or snippy response and say she’s been busy with other things.

I love Foggy, but my gut says Foggy unleashes her wrath. He’d say “Okay, Karen” as both an affirmative response to her and a snide little remark.

And all three of them would know immedately and simultaneously that serious shit would hit the fan.

“Christ, I am so sick of hearing that!” she shouts. “What did I ever do to have people think of me as a ‘Karen’? I’m helpful, I’m polite, but then people hear my name and they thing they have free rein to just use it and throw it around all of the time! I’m sick of it!”

“Karen, you know he didn’t mean it like that,” Matt tries.

“Really, Matt? Your super hearing couldn’t pick up on that?”

“Karen, I’m really sorry,” Foggy pleas. “I didn’t mean to offend you. But you have every right to be mad at me.”

Then Karen would close her eyes an let out a long sigh. “These last two weeks have just been so stressful. I’m sorry.”

“Well . . . Today has been slow. How about we close early?” Matt suggests. “We could try that new pizzeria a few blocks over?”

They’d all quietly agree and grab their things.

“I’m sorry I was such a Karen,” she says. Foggy and Matt wrap her in a tight hug to let her know that her reaction was justified and that they’re sorry.

Even still, the phrase ‘Karen’ is very rarely used in their practice—put on special reserve for the *extra difficult* people they encounter in the practice.

Alternatively, I can see Foggy proposing an alternative name for the designated difficult people—perhaps choosing a name of someone that they all have a shared dislike for. Maybe a “Beverly” or a “Trish”. (Idk those were the first names that came to my head I’m sure if you’re a Beverly or a Trish reading this you’re a lovely person)

[rightpastnowhere]

📝📝📝GO

SCREAMS

okay i feel horribly guilty about abandoning any of my ideas as lost to the cosmos SO i am going to provide concepts that i MIGHT write but for right now are just kind of hanging out in my brain

backstory swap AND class swap. i've discussed some of this with my friend in the discord dms, and i MIGHT write it, but it's kinda hanging out in the back of my brain rn. but !! vex and vax are still bastard children, but syldor is a Lot more important - he's a noble at the level of the de rolos. so vex and vax are whisked away to live with him and his wife, because i'm shuffling around the timeline, and their younger half-sister, who they adore actually. but then, a visiting couple from wildemount turn what should have been a diplomatic dinner into a bloodbath. vex escapes, with vax being killed (or so she thinks) as she runs, syldor and velora she KNOWS are dead, and a smoke demon finds her, instead. vax is the cass of this au, secretly alive and used by the briarwoods. meanwhile, percy and cass were part of a large family in some little village, busy with their hands full but happy, until a dragon razes the whole place to the ground. percy and cass are the only survivors - percy learns the woods as a ranger, cass learns the cities as a rogue, and both of them set their sights on vengeance. (also, pike as a barbarian who goes into a rage when the goliaths are beating up grog, who wilhand teaches to be a cleric. keyleth, rebellling under the pressure of her aramente, runs away as a travelling bard. scanlan as a druid, taking to the woods as forest gnomes actually do, but no less of a crass guy

okay HEAR ME OUT. nier replicant au. idk if these fandoms intersect AT ALL but i don't care. vex and kaine are both played by laura bailey, they're both crass badass ladies, and they're both the loves of my life. kaine is a half-shade - SPOILERS FOR NIER REPLICANT, shades being the monsters that plague the world of nier replicant, former human souls dislocated from their bodies centuries ago who have gone insane - and in this au, the shade that possesses vex would be saundor. percy as nier, who's on a quest to save his sister (cass) from a disease believed to be incurable, who ends up dooming the world to its own end because of his determination. it's doomed, it's dark, and also liam o'brien voices a floating book in a voice that kinda sounds like vax's but more dramatic and bitchy, so i think this au justifies itself

pokemon trainer au. literally just your cliche middle school era pokemon au. i'll probably make their teams and such anyways, but i don't have the motivation to write a whole ass pokemon au. but please consider vox machina as the rowdy group of travelers they are, but this time they're all like 15 and they have magic animals that they fight people with. chaos.