#i borrowed my dads apple pencil to draw this and now i think i want one 🤡

[mandoposting]

hi do cresh squad know i would die for them

they do now

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[randomlerson75]

Stuff people at my high school have said or done

• “I’ll just pretend I broke my ankle. I’ll limp a little”

• “You’re face doesn’t even have many bones”

• “Do you wipe your ass with your fingers”

• “I look cute though so I’m saving it”

• “They’re not dirty minded they just have a sexy brain”

• “This is not a good situation now. I’m not happy”

• *sleeping in class and randomly screams* “STOP!!!”

• “I’m coloring my weed symbol”

• “I stretch pretty violently I’m sorry”

• “I look like I’m more full of life than you”

•”I’m a good person” “haha ok”

• “I’m gonna round it to the nearest 11”

• “You don’t always have to swallow”

• “What a fucking time to be alive”

• “why are you harissing me”

• “That’s why you turn around and punch him in the face”. “I don’t have time”

• “You are the highest grade”

• “Does it taste normal”. “No it tastes good”

• “Why are we all up in this cold ass blueberry”

• “The sun can’t be that hot”

• “I could have overreached but that would make me stupid”

• “I’m all muscle bro, it’s tight on me”

• ”I’m a stripper that’s how I make my money”

• “You’re my mom” *talking to the teacher*

• “Are you high” “just get it off”

• *laughs normally* “you sound like a pedophile”

• “Pinkie ring until I roll”

• *about to jump off a cliff in a video for free diving* “push her”

• “Capitalism is ok”

• “It’s so funny how you can be alive one second and dead the next”

• “Change the m in marijuana to a j. Jarijuana”

• *teacher puts desk in the hallway*

• “He smoked water”

• “You can’t speak Latin” “Can you?”

• “May I acquire a pencil” “yes you may” “have a blessed day”

• “I’m going to write a book about how depressed I am”

• “God has forsaken me”

• *girls trying to stab each other with scissors*

• “I got a pretty long weenus. It looks like a penis”

• “My skeleton is twerking”

• *draws a skeleton twerking* “this is why it’s fun to learn art”

• “Why does he have eye holes?” “He’s a skeleton”

• “Don’t get my businesses ”

• “YOU ARE A WHORE”

• “love is so good”

• “Happy 17th day of birth”

• “You know it’s cold when you walk outside and it’s cold

• “why are you smiling like a creep Jess?” “That’s my normal face”

• “I’m living my best life, right here right now”

• *About thirty kids doing nothing but snapping*

• “Yes, I am very racist about smart boards”

• “I used to be like ;) but now I’m like :|”

• “Physically I’m here but mentally I’m still at home”

• “Emotions are like hurricanes. They never go where they are suppose too”

• “it took me a whole 27 minutes”

• “I would pay for the fire alarm to go off again”

• “Why did we get such a gay name like Florence”

• “this is my dad” *points to Albert Einstein

• *A REAL debate on wether to rip the clippy part off of mechanical pencils*

• “Not gonna lie. I grinded a friends marathon this weekend”

• “FINISH THE TEA”

• “You should know to never mess with another persons tech deck”

• “She has a thing against white people even though she’s white”

• “Speak of the devil. All white, what a fright”

��� “You are a children”

• “You think a bull in a china shop? How about a bomb in a restaurant”

• “Me do”

• “I cheesed myself”

• “I never said I was going to jump you at Bojangles”

• “Knitting is VERY fun”

• “I’m not good enough, I’m great enough”

• “North Korea, South Korea, Same thing”

• *drops pencil* “NOOOOOOOOO”

• *light flickers* “excuse you”

• “You can make Australia bigger?”

• “Why don’t we burn people at the stake anymore for doing crimes. It was proven very effective”

• “It’s like I went into the pits of hell”

• “Can I borrow her crutches” “She has a lot”

• “You have arms?”

• “I was born thick”

• “I wasn’t sick I was drunk”

• “be a good person. Go go go”

• “Lotion and ravioli”

• “It smells like weed in here”

• “F*ck oxygen”

• “bring it back tomorrow or you die”

• “Tables are for glasses, not asses”

• “Stick it in between her boobs”

• “A lot of religions end in ism” “Christianiaism”

• “I just want someone to snort my ashes. That would be cool. Mix it with a little cocaine”

• “The United States of Australia”

• “Clark Kent who. I’m kidding, that’s not even Spider-Man”

• “Mental cheese”

• “Your blood is not supposed to make whistling noises”

• “Who sleeps on a Friday night”

• “A whole ass race”

• “that’s a sexy button” “I know right”

• *Screams* “and....”

• “Judaism is neither a religion or race”

• “Have you ever met someone and thought ‘wow. I would feel no remorse killing you’”

•“I hate this school with a burning passion”

•“Beep beep in your seats”

•“What is wrong with the world? The simulation is breaking”

•“What if we’re each other’s dad”

•“You use mental gymnastics to get around your head and get what you want”

•”You can’t just roll up to North Korea. You have to beat me in bingo”

•*teachers wear a dress and played despacito on the trumpet*

• “He’s a stingy boi”

• “A for anarchy? Dude i wish”

• “shut up I’m choking”

• “The snack the smiles back” “GOLDFISH!!!”

• “Where’s the pointy boi?” “I don’t know. I have the thick boi”

• “Dude. Fish can’t talk”

• “Stop taking my eraser” “it’s a ruler” “it can be whatever it wants to be”

• “A female vacuum is attractive”

• “I can love you but not like you”

• “I am mother gothel mentally, physically and spiritually

• “Mother gothel is my religion”

• “IM GETTING A COW!!!!”

• “It’s like Leonardo Da’Vinchi but instead it’s Leonardo Decaprio”

• “I wish I had some crippling disease. Schizophrenia would be nice”

• “I’m gonna kill someone for the rush of adrenaline I’ll get. I’ll get pumped, then I’ll work out”

• “Should I become an important political figure”

• “My cats might have eaten him”

• “Who else is trying to overthrow the government”

• “Where’s our kid?” “He looked at me funny and I had to teach him a lesson. I flushed him down the toilet”

• “I text Jesus all the time”

• “You are a saucy boi”

• “Your neck is really soft. Do you know that?”

• “Um. No professor. I don’t give a fuck”

• “Bro I look like a whole ass beetle”

• “You know? I’m definitely going to hell. But I’ve accepted that”

• “We need to go to the woods and have a collective cry”

• “Moths = whore”

• “Can we watch more food videos”

• “Just outlive the old people and health care prices can go back to normal”

• “Let’s just start the gladiator games again to handle population”

• “I’ll be Michael Phelps”

• “Don’t you just hate it when Nolan steps on your 69 Barbie head”

• “He’s so 20”

• “LITTLE BOY! WHERE ARE YOUR NIPPLES”

• “You guys disgust me”

• “I thought I had a good nights sleep but then I stood up and was like ‘oh no’”

• “you look better as an apple”

• “Why the fuck does it smell like weed in here. Mrs. Burch be blazing it up”

• “What is the coast of South Carolina growing” “Fish”

• “Why are we here on Halloween but not on Thanksgiving”

• “Even though I’m 18 I still might go trick or treating”

• “All minors should be allowed to trick or treat”

• “Tomorrow is not today, is it?”

• “ah yes, the glorious uno and dos”

• “I think Kanye is a crackhead”

• “Like. She’s not hideous”

• “Casserole and Gatorade?”

• “That’s what Google’s for girly”

• “this class has corrupted me”

• “You stepped on my fat”

• “What would Jesus do?”

• *Squeaks kazoo in anguish*

• “We’re going to watch a video about the depression” “weird, nobody has been following me around with cameras”

• “Approximately 50 minutes till ice cream”

• “Did you know heroin is not good for you?”

• “I have the constant need to fight myself and my demons”

• “what the hell?” “I know”

• “you are crack-a-lakin me up”

• “I have no muscles so what’s the point”

• “Flex on the legless”

• “didn’t that movie come out in November? Fifty shades of green?”

• *County music blares from another class down the hall*

• “I got a twin brother” “What’s his name” “Pj”

• “Keep the iPhone in your ear”

• “Super white red lipstick”

• “They just need a lot more dollars”

• “Don’t be like Anthony” “Isn’t he your son”

• “There’s a lot that needs to happen in the next.... today”

• *Plays bagpipe music walking down the hallway*

• “Say sorry to Billie Eilish”

• “We should make army merch”

• “Some of us have bitch lips”

• “Time is moco loco”

• “Alfred Adler sounds like Adolf Hitler”

• “Albert Einstein is my favorite president” “YES”

• “It’s winter berries”

• “She just unfollowed your ass”

• “Do you ever get so mad you’re like rrrrr”

• “Bear Grills filtered that shit”

• “The US army is trying to recruit us with socks and bandannas”

• “This dude tastes bad”

• “I’m a sophisticated retard”

• “It’ll get your heart rate up” “I think asthma will make my heart rate go down”

• “She was like egh and the he was like EGH”

• *Door won’t open* “DISRESPECTFUL”

• “if she wasn’t my sister she would be my baby”

• “Will you let me make love to an Oreo”

• “Directions turn me on”

• “I’ll eat you” “Dude that’s gay”

• “you’ve been had a 69 in here”

• “I’m gonna be real with you. Hayden is a whole ass lesbian”

• “I’m sorry that picture is ugly. Sorry sis”

• “A whole jump suit with pikachu on it”

• “He’s been birthed”

• “Ru Paul’s drag race has been dragged”

• “Imma sip some chlorine”

• “why do you gotta throw up”

• “suicidal dog collar”

• “I’m pulling out Murphy’s head ass”

• “you’re gonna be single forever”

• “Do you trust me?” “No” “why” “you know why” “I told the truth after”

• “I didn’t mean to make her suicidal”

• “I did it in the most respectful way I possible could” “oh Jesus”

• “it’s not my fault she had that much of a connection”

• “she’s a sly bitch”

• *dresses in a Thomas the train hat and plays Thomas the train theme song on a piano*

• “I’m getting better at this” “what” “this”

• “It’s just my master plan to manipulate people’s emotions and have many successes in my future”

• “How do you do that” “I just empty my eyes”

• “You know what. Give me my birthday back”

• “Bitch bye. Not even cousins”

• “they go away. They don’t putt putt”

• “why” “so you don’t die in a police chase”

• “are you a virgin” “yes” *throws paper* “there’s my virginity for you”

• “I’m not stupid. I’m just not smart”

• *tries to hit someone with a decapitated mannequin head that has swim goggles on and fake blood coming out of its eyes*

• “you ignant”

• “I hope she chokes”

• “I had to sit at the edge of my chair, feet flat on the floor and hold my horn”

• “I don’t want to get my freaking hair done”

• “he hates my moms guts” “yeah no shit”

• “ok. Can you go cry over there”

• “Fuckin Jurassic world”

• “will you please beat up my mom”

• *drops phone purposefully* *immediately gets scared*

• “I want a new mom” “then break her”

• “did you just say what’s frog juice”

• *freshman walk by* “oh shit there’s a parade of them”

• “that five year old king is a queen”

• “Join the ranks”

• “Garrett’s carressing the computer” “cool”

• “You’re going into my dragons mouth”

• “Don’t snap my crab”

• “Crab breaking black belt”

• “are you milking the crab”

• “Cameron buttered my lemons”

• “Mixed with god”

• “What’s the juice”

• “I’m your bestie and you won’t even tell me the juice”

• “Let’s amazon.com this”

[purplesurveys]

515

What would you say is the worst part of high school, period? The fact that it was small made 1) the news, as well as rumors, quick to float around, and 2) the favorite students stay the favorites. It was easy to lose motivation in being a good student because the teachers already had their go-to picks designated from day one, so I didn’t care at all what I did or how I behaved throughout high school.

What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? I don’t eat apples.

How old will you be on your mother’s 68th birthday? Is that ‘old’ to you? I’d be 41. It’s a little old, considering I’m half that age at the moment.

Ever thought you were dying of something you weren’t even close to having? I don’t think so. I try not to stress over diagnoses I get from Google lol.

Ever want to be a doctor? Is it because of all the hospital shows? Med school is starting to look interesting for me because I really enjoy biology and have no problem with memorizing stuff. Then again, it’s too late to pursue that track considering where I’m headed now, and I HATE chemistry so I doubt I’d be all that successful in med school anyway.

What do you think of all these reality shows that try to alter personality? Are you talking about like how for example Gordon Ramsay makes it a point to be more pissed off in US versions of his shows because American reality shows are supposed to be more dramatic than others? Haha as long as I’m enjoying the show, I don’t mind it. Gordon’s a treat to watch regardless if I watch the US or UK version of, say, Kitchen Nightmares.

Where are your favorite pair of shoes in the whole world right now? They are in the shoe closet by the living room, where all my other shoes are.

Do you live anywhere near a mall? Which one exactly? Yeah there are like six malls near where I live that I can name for you right now. The nearest one is SM Masinag, which is like 2 minutes away from my village. Malls is the favorite pastime of Filipinos, which explains why we have so many of them and in close proximity to one another.

If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? Probably my family. I imagine I’ll be saying the last goodbyes to my friends and best friends.

Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? I love kids and would have no problems taking care of them. I’ve never had to change diapers though so I’d need a lot of help there.

Do you ever have those ‘ah ha!’ moments? Do those annoy you? It can be annoying if what I had just pieced together isn’t necessarily good news. But sometimes ‘aha!’ moments can be a thrill too.

When is the next time you’ll eat a cupcake, if you know when? I don’t have a clue; not a lot of places sell cupcakes anymore.

Does your family go on a lot of vacations? Are they more boring or exciting? My family goes on a lot but only when my dad is home, cos we want to go out only when we’re complete. They’re never boring because my dad knows how to fill up his iteneraries.

Where did you last buy socks from? What do those socks look like? It’s been a while since I bought myself socks. The last pairs I got were gifts; one pair has a cat design and another has a dog design. :3

Do you ever lay in the grass and look up at the sky, just because? Only before. I don’t do this anymore mostly because I don’t really have the time.

When do you normally go to sleep on the weekends? Depends how tired I am, but it’s never earlier than 10.

Have you ever met someone with the same ‘biggest fear’ as you? I haven’t known anyone whose as afraid of cockroaches as I am.

Do you ever have movie nights with your significant other? Not really. I like dinners more than movies, and we have very different tastes in films so it’s hard to stick with one we both want to watch.

Would you rather write with a pen or a pencil? Why is this? Pens. I haven’t regularly written with pencils in a while so it always feels weird when I have to do it.

Who was the last person to call you fat, if anyone at all? Gabie, but she did it fondly. She likes to rub it in my face that our relationship has made me put on a little weight after being skinny for many years, which I don’t mind.

What color skin does the last person you danced with have? Brown.

Are you afraid of being kidnapped if you go outside at night time? Yes, which is why I drive everywhere, whatever the time of day. I get made fun of for doing it, but at least I’m the one who ends up safe 100% of the time.

Has your mother ever called your school because of your grades? She didn’t call the school and I wouldn’t have wanted her to because I wouldn’t blame my school or my teachers either. She did ground me when I started failing like five algebra exams in a row, as deserved.

The best field trip you’ve ever been on; where was it to anyway? I loved the trip to Ayala Museum and Mind Museum, but I would have enjoyed it more if I went with only my friends. My class was embarrassingly rowdy. I remember Gabie and I just completely separating from our group because apparently not one of them knew how to act in a museum. Everyone kept running around and a couple of times alarms rang because my classmates kept touching the exhibits. I cringe just remembering it.

In the next twenty minutes, what will you be doing and where will you be? I will still be in Starbucks, probably drowning myself in surveys while drinking my iced coffee and eating my Monte Cristo. My parents are at Lea Salonga’s show tonight and I asked if I can tag along so that I can kill time at the nearby Starbucks.

Do you work? If so, have you ever been fired, then rehired from the place? I don’t work yet.

Can you tell when people are lying or telling the truth? Not always. Some people are great at lying.

What would you say your average word per minute time is on the keyboard? Not sure...but I can type very fast when i have to.

What is your least favorite class in school? Why is this? Chemistry can go fuck itself. Nothing made sense to me and no amount of images or drawings or other visualizations made me grasp the subject. I barely passed high school chem and only got a 1.75 in my basic chem class in college hahaha so I’m clearly not meant for it.

Do you bite your fingernails or tap them on desks? I tend to do both, but only when I’m anxious.

Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? I didn’t actively want to be in a *band* but I did have a phase where I wanted to drop everything and learn how to play the drums.

Do you ever call your cousins just to talk to them randomly? No. We’re close, but we don’t have that habit.

When did you last spend the night at someone’s house? June or July, I think. I was just supposed to take a nap in Gabie’s room but ended up sleeping the whole night.

Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? No, all of them have been very nice and welcoming.

Do you ever have to wash your clothes at someone else’s house? No, omg idk about other cultures but that would be really embarrassing here.

When is the next time you’ll go to the library? Why is this? When I have to return the book I borrowed, which is like two weeks from today.

Do you know how to play pool? Are you any good at it? I don’t even know how to hold the stick.

Are you someone who likes to get in arguments or fights a lot? Noooooo, I hate fighting and cry easily when I’m confronted.