#i bring my fucking first aid kit just in case bc its all i can do to feel useful
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god today was so fucking exhausting i --
#vent#suicide mention#(nothing happened dw)#i had such shitty sleep today w so many bad dreams#didnt get my work done and skipped my class#spent most of the day trying to dissociate and only half succeeding#then one of my partners whos been doing bad for a month now suddenly left all the gcs and discord servers#me and the other 2 in our polycule started freaking out bc usually thst sort of behaviour means smthg very very bad is abt to happen#partner wouldnt reply to texts or voicemail and hung up when we tried to call#us 3 literally rushed to their dorm and camped out their for over an hour bc we were so worried and didnt know what else to do#i bring my fucking first aid kit just in case bc its all i can do to feel useful#still no contact#eventually they post on tumblr#smthg like 'dw im ok' which i can only assume was directed at us#(my tumblr is the only secret one in the polycule)#so were like ok ! guess well take their word for it and assume theyre not about to off themself lol lmao !!!!#so we leave and just . hang out a bit#eventually i also get a reply to the text i sent#i sent like 'hey we dont have to talk beyond this but please please tell us youre safe thats all'#and they replied w a thumbs up a couple hours later#so ! theyre fuckin alive ! i am !!! at my wits end today hahah#amber actually saying stuff
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