#i called spamton ugly

[softcryz]

I like how the reply thing says "unleash a compliment" but whenever I use it I use it for nefarious purposes

[dooodle-bug]

he is Aquired.

[creepy--claws]

[● So that New Norm show huh

I felt like drawing fanart and then remembered Regina exists so I made a fan design for her because as far as I know, she doesn't exactly have an official design outside of that one pilot called Woke World

It didn't give us much tho so I made one myself post-transition

I based her off of a few of my own character designs but tried to incorporate some aspects from her pilot design. I mainly tried to make her look like an outdoor person, because I know she likes athletic activities.

I also believe she, Chloe, and Chaz would be friends so I drew them too, but I gave Chaz a heavy redesign because I thought the actual one looked REALLY ugly. This one isn't any better but it's more similar to how enbies I know irl (including myself) look. I know mushrooms are often associated with non binary people (can't stand it because I'm darker in style and don't do the whole medieval nature dnd stuff) so I gave them a shirt where a frog is wearing a mushroom hat cuz I like frogs. Additionally, I leaned into the heart imagery they had going on with the earring. I also gave them long fingerless gloves and black nails because I have those. Sorry their eyes look like Spamton, my bad lads.

By the way no offense to Reginas out there but why would you pick that name... I feel like something with a C would have made for a fun trio name for her, Chloe, and Chaz. Maybe Carolyn or something.

Anyways here's the art, hope it doesn't suck too much, it's very rushed I'm sorry. It's mainly just a concept.]

[bigshot]

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO MEET A [[BIG SHOT]]!!

Permanent Plotter Call for Spamton G. Spamton I made the first one in the old editor and back when I was still getting a grasp on writing Spamton, so I'll be deleting or ignoring it and rewriting it entirely! If you already liked the first one, you can still like this one.

Spammy needs himself some long-term relationships, be they good or bad, so hit this up if you want to let this awful little man into your muse's life! All are welcome and I'm always up for suggestions!

Liking this post definitely nets you:

Memes! Loads and loads of memes!

A live horse (me) stampeding your DMs!

Maybe an unexpected starter or meme reply!

AND MUCH MUCH MORE!!!

Wanna see some fun suggestions for potential palling around? Or whatever the opposite would be, if you hate him that much? Click Here!!!

Friends! Spamton's great at making people think he likes them, but it takes a specil kind of person for him to trust! Muses who see straight past his bullshit are the best candidates, as he wouldn't feel like he's gotta sell himself or his products to them! He's got serious abandonment issues, though, so it may be an uphill battle to make him believe someone's kindness is genuine.

Enemies! It's easy to upset him if you go for the ego and he's not exactly an easy person to talk to. In fact, he probably annoys most people to death! Be ready for some nonsensical and colorful insults if you get on his bad side and maybe even a fight! If you wanna kick Spamton's ass, go for it! He is small and awful. He also bites pretty hard.

Business Partners! This guy's been around the server a few times by now, so he's got a fairly firm grasp on running a business and crunching numbers! Things just... tend to go downhill once he starts acting on his ideas. He doesn't care so much about the money as he does being able to run things his way, so he'd be totally willing to hand out advice or help behind the scenes (... ironically, for a price).

Customers! That said, he does love making a sale! If you're looking for somebody willing to obtain and sell your muse something a little less savory, you've got a muse gullible enough to buy absolute junk, or you got a job nobody else is desperate enough to do, Spam's your man! If the price is right, he'll sell or do it!

Romancing! (Why!!?) Haehehaha....! Wait... you're serious!? Spamton's all but convinced he isn't really worthy of affection (hm yes, woobify the scrimblo), fully aware of how ugly most people (including himself) think he is, and every relationship he's had in the past was either shallow or exploded extraordinarily (and that was BEFORE the whole puppet thing happened). He keeps himself pretty guarded when it comes to his own feelings, so if you're really up for it... well, [[God]] speed and buy him things. I do love my angst.

Star/Sungazing/Nature Lovers Spamton is in Heaven right now, literal or not. Most of his previous life was devoted to escaping his home in the Dark World (specifically, the Internet) and getting into the (presumably) Light World, which he called Heaven. He's never experienced things like a natural sky, wild animals, weather changes, seasons... He's often taken hostage by the beauty of it all, he practically worships the sun, and may need help figuring some of it out. Guy's liable to fall into the ocean or get stuck in a tree or just melt his eyes staring at bright lights.

Staring Into The Void Until It Stares Back (But With a Bro) Have you ever been so far even as decided to use go want to look more like? Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food? Spamton's great at following nonsensical discussions and gets a lot of joy out of it when people entertain or understand his glitching thought patterns, but he's also somewhat aware of his status of being a side character in a video game. Self-Aware muses, ones prone to mad ramblings, or even other Internet citizens would find an amazing conversational partner in him!

And there's always more ideas!! Like I said before, I'm always up for anything and if I ever write up a meme for you that screams "turn me into a thread," know that I'm TOTALLY game.

[notdogice]

Time for the biggest batch of Pony Town cos': The Deltarune Edition! I started making these ones around late 2021 (possibly November) and I tried to make them as sprite accurate as I could so these ones are a lot more timeless regardless of how I change the way I stylize certain ponies.

Spamton G. Spamton. The very first one of my Deltarune cos', and probably the most iconic. I call him the Big Haired Big Shot. Spamton's head to body ratio is already bonkers in his sprite, so I tried to recreate that effect in PT. For the hair, I actually used one of my other ponies, Carlos, as the inspiration. He can also do the hands together thing he does in Deltarune.

Spamton Neo. Yup, it works for Neo as well. I was kind of worried that this wouldn't work, but it does! Works best when flying, but it's pretty funny seeing him lie down.

Kris. Yeah not much to say for Kris, but they're literally the easiest Deltarune cos you can do. Their eyes are closed, but I do have the pupils colored for expression sake whilst still being accurate.

Kris (DW). I fucking love this cos. It was fun to figure out how I should do the scarf and pauldron. It's on of my favourites of this set. Also has the eye thing like the light world counterpart.

Susie. Yeah LW Susie wasn't fun, especially after doing her DW counter part.

Susie (DW). FUCK YEAH SHE ROCKS. Only real gripe is with her hair.

Ralsei. Cute, but kind of ugly. One thing I've noticed is that people really don't try to do with the hat with horns when they do the hatted Ralsei.

Ralsei (No hat). Getting the goat horns just right because it is possible to do so. Definately experiamental with this one.

Berdly. Very smug indeed. Lovely.

Berdly (DW). You know, as I did more of these cos', I had gotten better at recogizing which options would work best with what I was trying to acheive. DW Berdly is a key example of this as getting his armor right used things I've done for Kris and Queen. Yeah these aren't in order how I made them, but I just want to keep things organized.

Noelle. Fun fact: Noelle is the only lightner that I had did their LW sprite before their DW. Yup. I did the more complicated designs first. Really the onlt thing about Noelle that I had really tried to figure out was her antlers. Yeah PT has antlers, but I wasn't really satisfied with them, they didn't seem Noelley enough.

Noelle (DW). To be honest, Noelle is easy to make in PT. I could've went with the shirt with hood option, but none of color options fit with what I was trying to do. Plus you wouldn't really notice that it's not there unless you move the head.

Lancer. Lancer's head is a hell of a pain to do. I'm not very satisfied with what I got, but it's the only thing that looks half decent with this style. He's extra round when he sits. Kind of took that idea of using the wings from someone else's Lancer, but I haven't seen anyone else but that person and I do it so it isn't a popular thing people do for Lancer, but it should honestly.

Queen. People have pointed out how I managed to give her that Megamind look, and I really appreciate it. I'm kind of surprised to see that she's the fourth Deltarune cos I made when I thought she was one of the later middle cos'. Her eyes do work like Kris' does. Another unique thing about this Queen cos is that I used the customizable mark to fix the curve between her top and bottom half.

Rouxls Kaard. One of my later ones as I holded off from doing him thinking he'd be a tough on to figure out. He was just like his puzzles. Like most of his detail in his sprite is in the one area where you can't see it on a pony.

Jevil. Ah Jevil, the first Deltarune character to appear in one of my dreams... He ran a fish taco stand. Uh other than that, one of my favoutie area on this cos is his ears. like they are so sprite accurate and very pretty. Everything else is standard fair with the others.

C Round. People love it whenever I switch to this cos, and whenever they put a crown on it...

K Round. You get this! Man it was tough figuring how to do the checker just right, but the results speak for itself. One of my favouties of the set. I've seen a few other's tries of making this character in PT, but they seem to get similar results to mine.

Rudin. A rare cos indeed. Actually I don't think I've ever seen another Rudin cos on PT. A shame really, I like Rudin's design.

Rudin Ranger. You thought regualr ol' Rudin was rare? Feast your eyes on this! Both of them are very pretty.

Hathy. It was the mouth I struggled the most with on. I do not have Head Hathy, I was too frustrated with this one.

Tasque. Meow. Another easy one to do, but doesn't get as much love as a certain...

Tasque Manager. Someone called my Tasque Manager cute a few weeks back. She was a fun one to make, but her tail breaks when she sits.

Maus. Not too difficult to make this Maus. This is also my newest Deltarune cos.

Since I have the room for them, here are some bonus Undertale cos' I have!

Frisk. I've been playing PT since 2017 and it took me until 2022 to make a Frisk cos. I still haven't made a Sans yet either which is surprising as I got into Undertale before I got into PT.

Asgore. My first UT cos, and it was Asgore of all people. Like seriously, you don't get to see Asgore cos' all to often if ever. This could probably be blamed by the fact that you don't get to spend that much time with him outside of his battle and most of what you learn about him is through everyone else experience with him.

Mettaton EX. The hardest thing I had to do with this cos was finding his his overworld sprite for his colors. Like everything else just using things I have done for other cos' like using the mask like how I did with K Round and Frieza. I guess I did have to think about hair options, but that is a given when it comes to making anything in PT. Anyway, that's the last of the set.

[salubri-outcast]

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

Tagged by @ratt-teeth

Are you named after anyone? Sort of? I'm named after the nickname my Morfar gave me when I was small. Chickadee. I picked it out for myself when I transitioned. Or I guess Morfar named me after a fashion. I adore those birds so much.

When was the last time you cried? Like this morning? Or last night maybe? I cry a lot for someone who tries to avoid crying. Not full on ugly crying, but there were tears. I tear up a lot. But full on sobbing, a couple days ago from pain?

Do you have kids? They say meow

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Sometimes? But rarely and when I do I try to make it very obvious. Accidentally... all the fucking time. People think I'm being sarcastic when I'm just being my Autistic Self (and very sincere)

What sports do you play/have played? Was a horsegirl growing up. We were lucky enough that there was a nearby(ish) stable I could pay for lessons at. Also Badmiton. I had a LOT of fun with that. Maybe I should pick up a set and play with hubcritter.

What’s the first thing you notice about other people? That there's a people close to me. If they're an INTRESTING people I'll observe. If not I'll try to avoid them. (I do not like peopling in meatspace)

What’s your eye color? Blue-Brown Radial hetrochromatic. Kinda Hazle too? They're REALLY pretty.

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings, but only because I'm a coward and scare easily. And less happy endings and more, satisfying endings. Rogue One doesn't have a happy ending, but it has a satisfying ending.

Any special talents? Got “monkey feet” and can pick shit up with them. (mum called them monkey feet)

Where were you born? Powell River

What are your hobbies? Crafting, Role Play, painting, cooking.

Do you have any pets? 2 cats and a snake.

How tall are you? 4'11”

Favorite subject at school? English or Drama/Theatre or Art

Dream job? Doing whatever the hell I want in an automated luxury communist utopia. Mostly making crafts for people all around the world. 15 mutuals:

@gingerbeer-queer

@jellycat-not-found

@star-aether

@chocolatequill

@critterschitters-closedcaptions

@ask-spamton-gpory-spamgon

@mkthefuckingmoron

@spirits-of-kin

@straycattrash

@summerofloving

@champ-nemo

@ranger-crow

@d-d-digusting (And this is where having sideblogs more followed than your main gets... interesting)

@lavender-town-radio

@oh-shinx

[burgertaco6]

back at it again in baldurs gate making it to the goblin shithole once religous hangout spot, i get a bit of closure on wether or not mindflayers have beaks (they dont) and save that scholar twink (no i did not have my eye plucked out)

hehehehehe funny hat :)

i gaslight the spiders into helping me along the way

after some more blind stumbling and the free of some prisoner guy being tortured later, i find druid boss, who is not too happy to have been replaced by kagha AND caught lacking by some goblins

during the breakout one of the goblin leaders just kind of got stuck in one spot with some other goblin and didnt move until the very last moments, only to get shoved in the spider pit and eaten alive whilst being shot at by everyone

i get weirdly kinky with this torturer guy, and afterwards brutally slaughter their buff red leader, stealing his limited edition spongebob gangsterpants merch collection

had PLENTY of shinies for my wonderful heat seeking missile man to absorb for his crack- i mean, magic addiction

my sarcasm about having the flu goes right over toad ladies head, leading me safely into the land of dreams where i learn what the make a guardian section meant and i forgot how GODDAMN UGLY I MADE HIM 😭look bear with me PLEASE there werent any dragonborn options for the guardian, if there were i woulda picked it in a heartbeat (coolass shot of dream worlds badass skeletor cave)

solve the easiest puzzle ever and baddabing badaboom im in the underdark, next thing i know rapheal pulls up offering to take the worm in my brain away which i say no to, let lae'zel cook smh

ngl was kind of sad there wasnt any flirting to do with THE sassy devil man directly calling me up on my brain phone with a spamton business offer

blocking his number, i obtain SHINY EXPENSIVE OBJECT!!!!! (almost got eaten by a very large ground worm thing along the way)

got to the village where i gladly accept to hunt down the mf who poisoned one of my fellow forest friends (dark gnome lady), spoke to the village leader guy he's pretty cool :)

and i meet one of my new FAVORITE CHARACTERS LIKE HOLY MOLY!!!!! OMMGGGGG big mushroom man.,.,.,. he looks so full of dirt and nutrients, if i prone someone they are just gonna be dead because he punches them to death VERY quickly

LOOK AT HIM!!! my boy 🥺✨ my man my THING, dweller of the dark, needs revenge. i will cry if he dies along the way in my journey for his vengeance thats all i've done so far, i'll supply more yummy insight on my playthrough as it goes, having some issues with crashing but i'll make it through a few underdark missions before returning to the druid grove, im sure they'll be fine up there seeing how all the goblins are drunk and their leaders are rotting on the ground <3

[krizs-main]

[just-miru]

was bored so i scrolled down the blueycapsules william tag on twitter only to find out there was some kinda silly argument i think over William's design a few days ago with some people saying they hate it and stuff (these people seem to hate the whole comic, actually), comparing the blueycapsules design with rebornica's Vincent and stuff for some reason

and then some blueycapsules fans would come in saying that William's design isn't supposed to be attractive in the first place and i am like excuse me what-

[mol4sses]

---

[super-island-edits]

“YAHOO! Another firework disappeared into the sky!”

Hi hi y’all I’m mod Ibuki but you could call me Zoey if ya’ want! I’m on everyday so I’ll be around often!

More info under the cut :D

💗 More About Me:

I’m 13 and swamped with homework so please be patient! /pos

My main pronouns are she/her but I also use cute/cute or pink pronouns! My Main blog is here!

💗 Things I can edit for!:

Danganronpa (all games)

Turning Red

Undertale/Deltarune

Coraline

Gorillaz

Total Drama (only up to season 5!)

My Hero Academia

Demon Slayer

Avatar the Last Airbender

Vocaloid

Five Nights At Freddy’s (Only security breach!)

Bendy and The Ink Machine

Haikyuu!!

Apex Legends

Kingdom Hearts

Sanrio

Animal Crossing

Mystic Messenger

Obey Me: One Master to Rule Them All!

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Stranger Things

Carmen Sandiego (2019 version)

Naruto (selective and shippuden only!)

Legend of Zelda (I’ve only played botw so no major spoilers plz!)

Any Ghibli Movie

Doki Doki Literature Club

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun

Pokemon

Adventure Time

My Little Pony

Lupin the Third

💗 Types of edits I do!:

Icons

Headers

Moodboards

Playlists

Doodles

Pendulum Readings

Tarot Readings

💗 Blacklist!:

Irl things (ex. actors outside characters, dsmp, real people)

Countryhumans

Yansim

Chris, Chef, Scott, Courtney, Gwen, Dakota, Sam, Jo (Total drama)

Lore Olympus (I’ll only post that stuff on my main blog)

Yanderes in general!

Sanscest shippers

Madrigalcest shippers

Any 4*town member x anyone

Paula Cracker (Gorillaz)

Rika, V, Saeran (Mystic Messenger)

Lilith, Luke (Obey Me)

Sun x Moon (Fnaf)

Mr.B (Coraline)

Any “ugly” considered villager (Animal Crossing)

Mike or Will x anyone, The Mind Flayer (Stranger Things)

Tsukasa, Mistuba, Sakura (Tbhk)

Len or Ren x anyone, Miku x anyone (Vocaloid)

Any Haikyuu!! ship 

The king, Toriel, Chara, Flowey (Deltarune/Undertale)

Any bnha ship that isn’t Ochamina (they just make me uncomfy)

Ozai, Sokka x anyone (Bc of his heartbreaks ;-; ATLA)

Saiouma, Tenko x men, Ultra Despair Girls, Korekiyo, Mikan, Junko (Danganronpa)

Ice king, any adventure time ships for the time being

Steven Universe

Any adultish tv show (ex. American Dad, Family Guy)

Eddsworld (only for my main blog and highly selective)

She-ra (New and old)

Salad fingers (the gore and character just make me uncomfy)

💗 Whitelist!:

4*town, Priya (Turning Red)

Hanako x Yashiro (Tbhk)

Ochako x Mina, Denki, Fatgum, Kirishima, Bakugo, Tsuyu (Bnha)

Roxy x Chica, Monty, Sundrop (fnaf)

Mike + Personalities (total drama)

Alice angel, Boris (Batim)

Zack, Player, Ivy, Graham (Carmen Sandiego)

Enmu, Doma, Uzui Tengen, Mitsuri, Nezuko

Judy, Raymond, Kabuki, Isabel, Brewster, Rover (Animal Crossing)

Sokka, Zuko, Suki, Toph, Ty Lee (Atla)

Steve, Will, Max, Eleven (Stranger Things)

2D, Ace, Noodle (Gorillaz)

Ibuki, Kokichi, Gundham, Kazuichi (Danganronpa)

Natsuki, Monika (doki doki)

Howl, Ponyo, Calcifer, Souske, Ponyo’s Parents (Ghibli)

Leviathan, Mammon, Beel, Asmo (Obey me)

707, Zen (Mystic Messenger)

Sans, Papyrus, Mettaton, Spamton, Ralsei, Susie, Kris (Undertale/Deltarune)

Octane, Bloodhound (Apex Legends)

Deidara, Naruto, Kiba, Shikamaru, Itachi, Kakashi (Naruto)

Miku, Len, Galaco (Vocaloid)

Sugawara, Tanaka, Bokuto (Haikyuu!!)

Wybie, Other Father (Coraline)

Sora (Kingdom Hearts

Jack Skellington, Sally (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

Link, Revali, Mask Kid (Legend of Zelda)

Scenecore, Weirdcore, Royalcore, Dark Academia (Aesthetics)

Any pokemon swsh character (excluding Rose)

Any character from lupin the third (Excluding villains)

Marshall Lee, Cake, Princess Bubblegum, Marceline 

[seaofghouls]

Spamton x Reader reques: Au on which his Spamton Neo form is basically a very buggy pprototype he can upload himself into, but can't actually stay in for too long, because the damn thing can't handle him being stuck inside it for a longer amount of time. One day he meets reader per chance and is utterly smitten by them and decides to woo them in this form, not telling them about his actual puppet body because GOD NO ARE YOU KIDDING WHY WOULD THEY WANT AN UGLY LITTLE PUPPET THAT LIFES IN A DUMPSTER?

Hilarity and / or angst ensues until reader inevitably finds out about his secret and he has to come clean to them about who he actually is. Happy end greatly prefered por favor.

I LOVE THIS <333

“Heyo! I’m [Name]! Are you here to see Sweet Cap’n Cakes too? Man! The resistance is so cool and funky!”

Spamton snapped up. Turning to face you, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The most gorgeous and attractive individual he had ever seen in his LIFE. Was this what they called love at first sight..? Oh man!

“..Hello? Y’there pal?” You asked.

“YES! SORRY. THE RESISTANCE IS DOING SOME [[MIGHTY FINE]] WORK HERE.” Spamton hurriedly came up with a response.

You ranted about the resistance trio while Spamton stared at you with a soft smile. He was more paying attention to you, rather than what you were talking about.

Oh no. Not now! This was the worst possible time for this! He couldn’t never let you see this.

He frantically pulled out a card and handed it to you. “I’VE GOT [[TO GO GO GO!]] CALL ME IF YOU’D LIKE!!”

He sprinted towards his shop.

You looked down at the card. What an interesting dude.

He scrambled out of the NEO suit. These damn bugs! Always ruining shit! You’d never want to see him out of it, right? He was just a shortass puppet who lives in the garbage!

Time passed and the bugs never seemed to improve. The two of you had gotten closer, but he often ended up having to leave mid-conversation because of his suit.

You knew something was up. Oh yeah, he’s hiding something. In honesty, you were worried about him.

Later that day, you were strolling across town. Damn, there was a traffic jam! Looks like the only way to advance is through the alleyway.

You heard shuffling from inside the garbage. You prepared myself for some sort of axe murderer or whatever as you lifted the lid.

“CAN’T A DUDE GET SOME [[PRIVACY]]-“

“SPAMTON??” Your jaw dropped.

Spamton’s eyes widened.

Oh shit.

Not like this! The worst possible scenario!

The one time he wasn’t wearing his suit!

“W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??” He asked, sweating.

He was much shorter than what you were used to. A tiny puppet! A funky puppet! AN ADORABLE ONE AT THAT!

“You’re so tiny!” You said bluntly.

Wow, great going. That totally wasn’t insensitive of you.

“Y-yeah..” He sighed.

“You’ve got some explaining to do.” You crossed your arms.

He took a deep breath.

“I SUPPOSE I DO. THE SUIT I WEAR.. IT’S A NEO SUIT BUT ITS SUPER BUGGY.”

“..That’s why I always have to take off. Because.. I couldn’t let you see me like this. There’s no way someone as [[ANGELIC]] as you would ever take interest in this.. puppet.” His glasses were dark as he gestured to his own body.

“That’s absolutely stupid!” You said.

“..Huh?” Spamton looked up at you.

“It doesn’t matter what the hell you look like! I fell in love with you, not your body!” You said, picking Spamton up and giving him a hug.

He hugged back tightly.

..Love?

They loved him! They really truly loved him!

He felt like his heart was about to burst. They loved him back!

“Now! C’mon, Love, you’re coming home with me! I’m not letting you stay here.” You declared.

“Also.. If you really want it, I bet I could help you figure out the bugs in your suit. That’s up to you, of course.” You said, ruffling his hair.

“You need a bath, dude.” You laughed.

“THAT’S.. PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA.” He chuckled.

He looked back up at you as you ranted once again.

Someone who truly loved him.

He would do anything for you.

[jawsofbalmung]

As forewarned promised, my extremely biased culprit/killer ratings based on nothing but physical attractiveness. Disclaimer: I am gay. Also my idea of who is considered a "true culprit" may be a bit weird so bear with me. Spoilers for all ten games!

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney:

1. Frank Sahwit: 0/10. You are nothing. His case lasts 5 minutes and he is ugly. I am not any more endeared seeing him in aai2.

2. Redd White: 2/10. Only gets a 2 because a friend told me about him a long time ago and I thought he was more of a major character and that he would become a blorbo. I was wrong, but I feel kinda bad for being wrong.

3. Dee Vasquez: 4/10. Woman, but pretty cool. Has the mafia on her side, so that's a plus.

4. Yogi Yanni: -10/10. Gross old man.

5. Manfred von Karma: -50000/10. Fuck you die.

6. Jake Marshall: 5/10. Cowboy if you're into that, but I'm personally not that much.

7. Damon Gant: -1/10. Not as bad of an old man as you could've been.

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney 2: Justice for All:

1. Richard Wellington: 6.5/10. Pretty boy. Cool ringtone. Could be hotter.

2. Mimi Miney: 4/10. Woman. Not very memorable, but cute anyway.

3. Morgan Fey: 1/10. Old woman.

4. Acro: 6.5/10. Would like him better with his hair down, but he's literally the only aa character in a wheelchair and I like him.

5. Matt Engarde: 8/10. FINALLY a hot villain. Very, very cute before he goes evil, but gets worse when he drops his facade I think tbh.

6. Shelley DeKiller: 2/10. Again could be a worse old man, and I saw cool fanart of him once.

Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney 3: Trials and Tribulations

1. Dahlia Hawthorne: 6/10. Woman, but I love her. If you're into high femmes, that's the one for you.

2. Luke Atmey: 2/10. Looks like Spamton Deltarune.

3. Ron Delite: 7/10. Adorable twink.

4. Fiero Tigre: 4/10. Smh the original is always better than the bootleg.

5. Viola Cadaverini: 4/10. Woman. Really skinny. Not much to say.

6. Godot: 9/10. You KNOW my mans is getting a high score <3

Apollo Justice Ace Attorney:

1. Kristoph Gavin: 9273897/10 AAAAAAA

2. Alita Tiala: 4/10. Another high femme woman.

3. Daryan Crescend: 4/10. Could be hotter if his hair wasn't Like That.

4. Valant Gramarye: 3/10. Could be a hotter old man.

Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth:

1. Jacques Portsman: 3/10. Major Eh vibes from this guy.

2. Cammy Meele: 4/10. Another kinda cute but not that memorable woman.

3. Lance Amano: 5/10. Femme. Not much else to say. I like his hair.

4. Ernest Amano: 0/10. Yeah. Old man.

5. Callisto Yew: 5/10. Another high femme woman, I think her sprites are cute tho.

6. Quercus Alba: -10/10. Gross old man.

Ace Attorney Investigations 2: Prosecutor's Path:

1. Horace Knightley: -100/10. Nasty.

2. Patricia Roland: 3.5/10. Woman. Her fox is the best part of her.

3. Dane Gustavia: 5.5/10. Really cool design but not my type. His song is sick tho.

4. Blaise Debeste: -10000/10. Nasty gross man with a terrible beard. Nasty.

5. Simon Keyes: 8.5/10. LOVE him. I am not immune to a sexy clown. Sorta awkward but cute before, but letting his hair down really did it for me.

Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies:

1. Ted Tonate: -1/10. Gross.

2. Florent L'Belle: 2/10. Ehhh.

3. Aristotle Means: -50/10. He scares me.

4. Bobby Fullbright: 3/10. I want him to be hot so bad. I call him Midbright.

5. Aura Blackquill: 6/10. I like her!! Her hair is stupid tho.

6. Marlon Rimes: 2.5/10. Extremely grossly skinny pre-transformation, weirdly buff post-transformation.

The Great Ace Attorney: Adventures:

1. Jezaille Brett/Asa Shinn: 4/10. I love her swan hat.

2. Magnus McGuilded: -500/10. He makes me SO uncomfortable to look at.

3. Ashley Greydon: 8/10. I like him. Weirdo twink. <3

Ace Attorney: Spirit of Justice:

1. Pees'lubn Andistan'dhin: 2/10. He looks like my stepdad. No thanks.

2. Roger Retinz: 3/10. Robert Downey Jr. That's all I have to say.

3. Tahrust Inmee: 2/10. Sorry not into the skinny bald thing going on. He's a good man tho.

4. Beh'leeb Inmee: 4/10. Plain, but not bad woman.

5. Geiru Toneido: 5/10. The big one. Personally I do not have a bad case of clussy fever, but her design is cute! She reminds me of Pinkie Pie.

6. Ga'ran Sigatar Khura'in: 3/10. Her evil design unnerves me. She's overall just pretty mid of a villain.

7. Pierce Nichody: 9.5/10. Bro.... When he brings out the mask and the scalpel I can't handle it.... I was hoping he would be a villain from the beginning because I knew it would be hot if he was....

The Great Ace Attorney 2: Resolve:

1. Raiten Menimemo: 7/10. Kind of a twunk. Reblog.

2. William Shamspeare: 2/10. I appreciate the commitment but not for me thanks.

3. Olive Green: 4/10. Woman, but she's cute!

4. Enoch Drebber: 8/10. Auughh.

5. Courtney Sithe: 8/10. Hottest woman. Almost converted me.

6. Seishiro Jigoku: 5.5/10. Could be hotter if he didn't look like hipster Rasputin.

7. Mael Stronghart: 9/10. How did this happen to me. I did not like him before but now I do. What happened.

[wonderhoy-edits]

“Gonna see a play♪ See a play♪ Doo doo doo♪”

Hi hii! I’m Mod Emu or Mod Otori, you could also call me Zoey if you’d like! My pronouns are she/her, and I’m a minor! My main blog is @.zoey-thee-4townie, I’m the owner of this group blog so message me there if you have any questions!

I Can Dance To This! (Edit types):

Icons (regular, shaped, reply, pride)

Headers

Moodboards

Playlists

Doodles

Pendulum Readings

Tarot Readings

Compose, Compose! (Source List!):

Danganronpa (all games)

Turning Red

Undertale/Deltarune

Coraline

Gorillaz

Total Drama (only up to season 5!)

My Hero Academia

Demon Slayer

Avatar the Last Airbender

Vocaloid

Five Nights At Freddy’s (Only security breach!)

Bendy and The Ink Machine

Haikyuu!!

Apex Legends

Kingdom Hearts

Sanrio

Animal Crossing

Mystic Messenger

Obey Me: One Master to Rule Them All!

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Stranger Things

Carmen Sandiego (2019 version)

Naruto (selective and shippuden only!)

Legend of Zelda (I’ve only played botw so no major spoilers plz!)

Any Ghibli Movie

Doki Doki Literature Club

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun

Pokemon

Adventure Time

My Little Pony

Lupin the Third

Project Sekai

Teen Titans (The original)

That’s My Jam! (Whitelist!):

4*town, Priya (Turning Red)

Hanako x Yashiro (Tbhk)

Ochako x Mina, Denki, Fatgum, Kirishima, Bakugo, Tsuyu (Bnha)

Roxy x Chica, Monty, Sundrop (fnaf)

Mike + Personalities (total drama)

Alice angel, Boris (Batim)

Zack, Player, Ivy, Graham (Carmen Sandiego)

Enmu, Doma, Uzui Tengen, Mitsuri, Nezuko

Judy, Raymond, Kabuki, Isabel, Brewster, Rover (Animal Crossing)

Sokka, Zuko, Suki, Toph, Ty Lee (Atla)

Steve, Will, Max, Eleven (Stranger Things)

2D, Ace, Noodle (Gorillaz)

Ibuki, Kokichi, Gundham, Kazuichi (Danganronpa)

Natsuki, Monika (doki doki)

Howl, Ponyo, Calcifer, Souske, Ponyo’s Parents (Ghibli)

Leviathan, Mammon, Beel, Asmo (Obey me)

707, Zen (Mystic Messenger)

Sans, Papyrus, Mettaton, Spamton, Ralsei, Susie, Kris (Undertale/Deltarune)

Octane, Bloodhound (Apex Legends)

Deidara, Naruto, Kiba, Shikamaru, Itachi, Kakashi (Naruto)

Miku, Len, Galaco (Vocaloid)

Sugawara, Tanaka, Bokuto (Haikyuu!!)

Wybie, Other Father (Coraline)

Sora (Kingdom Hearts

Jack Skellington, Sally (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

Link, Revali, Mask Kid (Legend of Zelda)

Scenecore, Weirdcore, Royalcore, Dark Academia (Aesthetics)

Any pokemon swsh character (excluding Rose)

Any character from lupin the third (Excluding villains)

Marshall Lee, Cake, Princess Bubblegum, Marceline

Robin, Jynx, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Raven, Starfire, Blackfire 

This Song Just Isn’t Fitting The Mood! (Blacklist!):

Irl things (ex. actors outside characters, dsmp, real people)

Countryhumans

Yansim

Chris, Chef, Scott, Courtney, Gwen, Dakota, Sam, Jo (Total drama)

Lore Olympus (I’ll only post that stuff on my main blog)

Yanderes in general!

Sanscest shippers

Madrigalcest shippers

Any 4*town member x anyone

Paula Cracker (Gorillaz)

Rika, V, Saeran (Mystic Messenger)

Lilith, Luke (Obey Me)

Sun x Moon (Fnaf)

Mr.B (Coraline)

Any “ugly” considered villager (Animal Crossing)

Mike or Will x anyone, The Mind Flayer (Stranger Things)

Tsukasa, Mistuba, Sakura (Tbhk)

Len or Ren x anyone, Miku x anyone (Vocaloid)

Any Haikyuu!! ship

The king, Toriel, Chara, Flowey (Deltarune/Undertale)

Any bnha ship that isn’t Ochamina (they just make me uncomfy)

Ozai, Sokka x anyone (Bc of his heartbreaks ;-; ATLA)

Saiouma, Tenko x men, Ultra Despair Girls, Korekiyo, Mikan, Junko (Danganronpa)

Ice king, any adventure time ships for the time being

Any parents, kohane (Project Sekai)

Any teen titan ship for the time being

[secretloops]

And I gotta get to rock bottom - Part 2

Spamton x Reader | Fic | Word Count: 4012

♡ Part 1

Spamton: you ever look at someone and wonder, what is going on inside their head?

Reader: mm. bagel

You pushed the stack of boxes, having to use all of your weight in order to move the heavy contents, whatever it was. Junk rattled inside as you pressed your back to the tower, planting your feet on the ground in an attempt to gain some leverage. The boxes stubbornly only shifted a measly inch or two. The work reminded you of moving house, if moving involved a near endless stream of boxes being dumped outside of your store front.

“Do you reckon we’ll ever have enough to move out of the Trash Zone?” You called out, huffing out a frustrated breath of air. “I’m sick of these cardboard boxes. I feel like I’m in a hamster pen. Also, they’re heavy.”

Spamton emerged from another stack of boxes he’d just finished moving away from the store.

“I hope so,” he answered, messily pushing his sleeves up his arms. His jacket had long been discarded due to the abnormally large amount of boxes that had greeted you at work that morning. Normally, the trash zone didn’t bother you, but on days like this one when physical labor was demanded, you wished you and Spamton had a better location for the store.

Spamton, unlike you, easily moved the stack of boxes, lifting them up with remarkable swiftness.

“How are you so strong like that? Or am I just really weak,” you asked, following him closely.

“Probably because you’re a [lighten er]. Some weird thing about [darken ers] helping [lighten ers] and getting [[better than ever before!]] or whatever. I never [paid in full] attention to that [[SLIME]].”

Your blank stare indicated you did not understand what he was alluding to; or rather it was because you also weren’t paying attention, too distracted by how he looked while he was talking. Smudges of filth were dotted on his otherwise pristine skin, which you’d discovered was like porcelain. There was one you had an insatiable urge to wipe off on his cheek, just above a sharp jawline. His sleeves gathered around his forearms, you could see the grooves that outlined his joints.

“What’re you [looking to buy] at?”

“Oh. Nothing. I think we should take a break,” you waved, searching for anything else to look at.

“You know, people only stare when they see [HOT SINGLE] or [so ugly I’ll $%!$ myself]. So what’s your [deal or no deal]?”

“You just…” You pushed away the part of you that wanted to say ‘look really good’. “...have a bit of dirt on your cheek,” you dodged his question, pointing to the spot you’d been longing to clean off.

“Ah, can’t damage the [merchandise], can we.”

You silently lamented your missed opportunity as Spamton rubbed off the mark with the back of his hand. The last of the junk cleared and the storefront presentable, you entered the shop. The interior of the store looked a lot better now; you’d painted the walls a cheerful blue, and replaced the sagging boxes that had been functioning as a counter with an actual table. You thought it was coming together rather nicely. Granted, the wares weren’t much different from when you’d started, but progress was progress. Appearance is everything, as they say.

Spamton entered the shop behind you, carrying his blazer over his arm. You’d taken a liking to your boss since you’d begun working for him. Not that you ever felt like you were working for him, your employment quickly evolving into more of a partnership.

“Did you get the [useful heap of crap] we wanted?”

“No, the junk shop said they’d have one in today,” you answered, moving behind the counter to dust off the layer of static that naturally coated everything in the Trash Zone. The heap of crap in question was actually a generator you’d asked the guys at the Junk Shop to assemble. As fun as it was to mooch off of the city’s power grid, a few weeks ago there’d been an outage that nearly put you and Spamton out of business; Spamton in a much more literal sense. He hadn’t taken well to the blackout, and to be frank the Trash Zone was terrifying without power. You’d stayed late that day, telling him there was no acid and he wasn’t going to be kicked out. He had offered to pay you overtime after the fact, which would have been funny given he barely paid you at all, but you declined, telling him you’d stayed for his sake and nothing else.

Things were a little different after that. Spamton became more casual with you, refraining from making deals as gestures and instead accepting your help at face value; he even divulged some of his past to you. For some reason, it made you incredibly happy when he opened up; you guessed it was because he finally had begun trusting you.

You took your dusting to the rotary phone that sat on a small table, which acted as a sort of pedestal. The phone was a relic of Spamton’s prime, set aside in its own corner of the store. If it were to ring, Spamton had told you, it would mean you were back in business. You’d argued at the time that you were in business presently, but you’d come to realize it was more a sentimental statement than an actual assessment. You cleaned the phone with care, ensuring it was spotless; you could tell Spamton was watching you work as you took care of his most prized possession. He always did get fidgety when it came to the phone.

“I was hoping you could [head on over] into town later,” he suggested, putting on his blazer. He tugged on his sleeve cuffs, eyes still trained on you.

“To get the useful heap of crap?”

“To get the [useful heap of crap],” Spamton repeated, sounding rather amused that you’d chosen his wording.

“Will you go with me this time? I don’t want to go alone. Plus, they said it would be expensive. You’re better at heckling.”

“You’re [[perfect working order]] at it,” Spamton objected, but softened at the pleading look you gave him. “I’ll take you [out on the town], show you the real [big shot moves].”

“I’ll be your protégé in no time, boss,” you cheekily added the title, knowing it particularly fuelled his ego.

“When we make it [[big]], I’ll have you [star of the show] in our [advertisement slot open] on TV.”

Spamton always talked big when his ego got inflated; you did it on purpose sometimes because you thought it was cute, but there was also a wistful tone he took on that didn’t go unheard. He talked about making it big like it was both a reminisce and a tenacious goal just out of reach - even though in reality, it was far beyond what you had now. You supposed that was true in both cases, from what he had told you.

“Why do I have to do it?” You jokingly complained, the image of you being in the spotlight flashing through your mind.

“Well, you’re [HOT SINGLE IN YOUR AREA]. I’m a man of the books. An [exclusive behind-the-scenes] guy.”

“Bullshit,” you countered, folding your arms. “You’re the attention-seeker, you should do it, not me.”

“The [kettle] calling the [other kettle] black.”

You gave up - he did have a point, you would love to see the Queen’s face if you did make it onto TV. Another benefit of working for Spamton was that you could be as rude as you wanted. You recalled him telling you he liked it - you couldn’t blame him either, the politeness of the Queen’s staff was suffocating.

Once you’d finished dusting, Spamton agreed to leave for the Junk Shop. It wasn’t too far, but it was a long enough walk to make you regret not taking the bus. The three bots that ran the shop greeted you kindly as you stepped in their door, partially exhausted from walking. You’d met them the last time you’d dropped in on an errand, and learned they were a tight-knit group of guys with an affinity for music and talking in rapid succession.

“What’s good, (Y/n),” the one who’d introduced himself as Cap’n called to you.

“Brought a friend?” another inquired, taking notice of Spamton with you. You recalled his name was Sweet.

“Hi (Y/n) and friend.” The third was K_K, the tallest. You vaguely remembered K_K was actually a nickname, which you didn’t question the origin of.

“I understand you have [[item]] prepared,” Spamton loudly announced, surveying the shop with a watchful eye.

“Oh yeah, it’s here. I’ll get it,” K_K turned around, extending his legs to retrieve a bulky metal generator from a high shelf. It landed with a clang onto the counter as he set it down beside Cap’n and Sweet.

“That’ll be 500 dollars, chief.”

“FIVE??? Best I can do is [$300].”

“That’s bogus, weird dude.”

“Do you know how hard it was to make this from scrap?”

“We’re running an [Honest] Business here!!! Have a little [generosity].”

“No way, man. No discounts, unless you’ve got something for scrap.”

As Spamton negotiated the payment, you wandered to inspect a case of CDs that looked like bagels, deliberating whether they were actually bagels that looked like CDs. The junk shop had clearly been a music store before it was outlawed; there were posters still stuck to the walls, and shelves with plugs for speakers. You decided speculating could only get you so far, and it sounded like the argument over the cost of the generator was done. When you looked over your shoulder, Spamton looked glad, so you could only assume he’d gotten a good deal.

“Do you guys sell music?” You asked.

The trio shared glances between them, as though communicating silently. “Who’s asking,” Sweet said cautiously, “Because, depending who you are, we do some gigs here and there.”

“Unless you’re with Queen. Then we totally don’t do the music thing,” K_K chimed in.

“No worries there,” you reassured them. “I just haven’t heard actual music in so long…”

Spamton seemed to catch your wistful tone, curiously peering at you as K_K opened a hidden cabinet, revealing a tall screen with hundreds of track listings.

“Are you a [[music to my ears]] person?”

“Yeah, it’s just been a while since I’ve listened to anything.” You perused the selection of tracks; most of them were electronica, coming as no surprise, with some pop songs mixed in. There were a few titles you didn’t recognize, too.

“Pick out a song. I’ll [purchase complete] for you.”

“Are you sure?” You marveled at the usually stringent salesman, who had been squabbling over prices just minutes ago.

He smiled in return, beaming like he'd just offered the deal of a lifetime. “I wouldn’t [offer available for a limited time] if I wasn’t.”

You returned your attention to the screen, eyes scanning over the titles. Spotting an old favorite, you selected the track.

“A most excellent choice,” Sweet noted as K_K downloaded the file for you.

Spamton shockingly no longer heckling the price, you excitedly waited for Sweet to ring up your purchase when Cap’n set his hand on a tall speaker beside you, leaning against it casually.

“So, do you play? Instruments, people…”

"Cap’n," K_K warned from where he was closing the song cabinet.

“What, I’m a player,” Cap’n argued.

“You’re the wrong kind of player, dude,” Sweet said, pointing an accusatory finger.

Cap’n shook his head, turning to you. "You’re a total babe, so you can always play with us, you feel?"

Spmaton's hand slammed on the counter, putting the argument to a halt and startling just about everyone. "Listen. I'm willing to [make a deal] here. Let's forget about the [[PLAY NOW]] and I won't [track removed] you."

He spoke in a way you’d never heard before; it was threatening and assertive. The fact that it was for your defense made it kind of… hot.

"Whoa, whoa, alright man," Cap’n backed up, glancing at you. "The babe is all yours, dude."

"[[Why]] you, you-"

You stopped him with a half-nervous, half-amused laugh. “Sorry, guys. He’s right. No reason to get into a fight.”

Spamton looked just as surprised as the three bots.

“Thanks for getting the song for me,” you said to him, offering a smile and turning back to the group. "We’ll see you guys around, we’ve gotta get back.”

“Right on, dudes,” Sweet happily concluded. “You’re totally cool with us, (Y/n). Don’t worry about Cap’n, he’ll be fine.”

“I won’t,” you agreed. Spamton tucked the generator under his arm, and as you followed him out of the shop you waved behind you. “Thanks for the generator!”

The second the door closed, Spamton rattled beside you, his free hand gesturing wildly as you walked back the direction you’d come. “Good [gravy], I haven’t pulled a stunt like that [[since 1997]],” he proudly stated, “did you see the price I got that [heap] for? I’ve [STILL GOT IT], baby!”

He was too happy for you to admit you’d missed the actual deal, so you redirected the conversation to the other stunt he’d pulled in the shop; you appreciated it much more than the low price of the generator.

“Hey, thanks for stepping in for me back there.”

"You're [welcome back anytime],” Spamton said. He narrowed his eyes, shifting his hold on the generator. "I could've [serious injury may occur] that guy."

"Would you have?"

The question left you before you could think about what you were asking. Spamton averted his gaze, surveying the flashing signs that you walked past.

“You can [bet on it]. Although I was surprised you [[lied]] you were [unavailable] because of... [terms and conditions of arrangement]...” The round blush on his cheeks intensified as he added, “with me.”

"It was easier that way. I didn't even realize he was flirting with me," you admitted. "I can be kind of slow with that stuff. I don't really pick up on cues."

Spamton nodded solemnly. "You’re [to the heart], it’s just how [[I adore]] you are,” his speech fumbled, like he hadn’t meant to add in that last interjection. “That [slime] pulled a [[classic]] move. Guys used to do that type of thing to me all the time."

"Seriously?"

Your curiosity piqued, you questioned him for more information, quickly forgetting his slip of words. A road crossing halted your walking, Spamton turning to you as you stood under the red sign while cars zoomed by at impossible speeds.

"[Believe it or not!] I used to be [HOT HOT HOT!!!] stuff. Taller, too. I was popular with the [crowd]."

"Used to-?" You cut yourself off as wondered what could have possibly made him more attractive in the past. "Taller, you say?"

"YEAH!!! And I didn't talk like

"talk like

"talk like

"A God damn [GARBAGE CAN]!"

"I think the way you talk is fine," you objected, “besides, I like your height. It's perfect for leaning on.” You moved to prop your arm over his shoulder, but retreated at the last second. "Sorry. I forgot I should ask first."

"You get [exclusive access!]"

You happily slung your arm around his shoulders, your other hand in your pocket as you comfortably leaned against him while you waited for the crossing light to turn. Call it a conflict of interest, but you loved getting to be so casual with him. Spamton was just as hesitant towards touch as he was spending money - at least, money that wasn’t being spent on you - which is why you’d developed the practice of asking before approaching him with a physical gesture. You watched him out of the corner of your eye, making sure he didn’t seem uncomfortable. Aside from the bright red circles on his cheeks, he stared straight ahead, otherwise nonchalant.

The light finally changed to green, the cars halting before the crosswalk. You lowered your arm, only to hold it against his lower back as an Ambulance raced past you, completely blowing the light.

You startledly half-yelled something after them, breaking Spamton out of his now blush-covered shock. He stepped away from you, briskly walking across the road just in front of you.

“You alright? That ambulance scared the hell out of me,” you asked.

“It nearly [[Touching me]],” he rambled, the generator creaking under his tightened grasp. Obviously it had scared the hell out of him, too; but something in the back of your mind wondered if it wasn’t just the ambulance that had gotten him so flustered.

“You want to take turns carrying that?” You offered, quickening your pace to catch up to him.

“Nope!!!”

The rest of the journey back home felt longer than the trek out from the shop, but it gave you and Spamton enough time to fall back into your usual lighthearted rhythm. By the time you pushed through the creaky door of the Trash Zone store, you were exchanging accounts about the terrible drivers in Cyber City.

“The guy nearly hit me the day we met,” you told him, “I don’t even know what I said, but it must’ve been good, because the look on his face was priceless.”

Spamton laughed loudly, setting the generator in a corner. “As expected of [Number One]!”

The conversation settled as you resumed the chores that kept you busy during the workdays at the store. To be honest, you liked being there more than being by yourself on the weekends. As you sorted through junk, you found an old mp3 player and rejoiced, hastily plugging in the drive you’d gotten. You dragged out boxes from under the counter, searching through them, eventually finding a pair of speakers. Only one side worked, but you decided it was better than nothing. You could bring in your own another day. You hit play, enjoying the music that echoed in the shop lightly. You’d have to ask that junk shop for more tracks.

“[Liking] the [noise], [Y/n]?”

You jumped, awkwardly recovering from your fright; you’d been doing a little dance, forgetting you weren’t alone. Spamton stood next to the speaker and listened intently, but he seemed more focused on the way you mumbled along to the lyrics as you tried to get the second speaker to work, in vain. When the song was over, the shop felt empty in a way; it was a similar feeling to how you’d need to put in headphones when you got home, the room feeling large and lonely without Spamton’s near constant chatter. With him nearby, the isolation didn’t last long. He rattled on about the song, praising your taste in music. You listened with just as much joy as you’d had hearing the song.

A sound cut through the air, overtaking the quiet stillness of the shop; at first you wondered if it was coming from your player, but it was still switched off on the counter. The sound was familiar to you, yet hearing it was entirely foreign. All at once, you and Spamton realized where it was coming from.

The phone was ringing.

You and Spamton froze. You waited for him to answer it, but he kept staring at the phone, as though mesmerized by the ringing sounds. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. Making a split second decision that he wasn't going to answer and the possibility of a customer outweighed any trouble you’d get into, you grabbed the receiver, holding it to your ear.

“This is Spamton and Co, with whom am I speaking?”

Spamton’s eyes darted to you, still in his frozen state, locked on the phone in your hand.

The voice on the other end jolted with surprise. “Oh, sorry, I must have the wrong number.”

As disappointing as it was, you pitched a last minute attempt at gaining your first patron. “Before you go, could I interest you in-”

“No thanks. Bye.”

The caller hung up, rather rudely for your liking.

Finally, Spamton spoke up, his gaze still glued to the phone. “Was it…”

“A wrong number,” you sighed.

“You… on the phone…” he looked at you with an expression you could only describe as awestruck.

“Yeah?”

“H- How about you run [INTO MY] that ad reel for me. What you were going to say if they were a customer.”

“Oh, just…” You picked up the receiver, ignoring the flat dial tone, mimicking as though you were talking to a customer. “Thank you for calling Spamton G Spamton’s Trash Zone outlet store! We have the best and only second-hand wares found directly in the heart of Cyber City. How may I help you today?”

“You can

“You can

“You can really… WHY THE HELL WEREN’T YOU THERE IN MY HAYDAY, [Y/N]?”

Spamton grabbed you by the shoulders, gently shaking you as you laughed. “[Y/n]!!! THAT WAS [HOT STUFF]! YOU’RE GODDAMN AMAZING!!! I’M [[FALLING]] BLOWN AWAY!!!!! YOU HAVE THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL!”

Flustered by his onslaught of praise, you put the receiver back in its place, leaning against the edge of the phone's table. Spamton relaxed his grip on you, his hands sliding to rest on your arms.

“WHY, YOU OUGHTA LEAVE THIS [GARBAGE HEAP] AND MAKE A [[BIG SHOT]] OF YOURSELF!!! YOU… you really oughta. You have a [knack] for this. You could make it if you left this godforsaken trash zone shop.”

The thought of leaving the shop made your stomach turn. You were proud of the little business you and Spamton ran, upcycling whatever you could find in the Trash Zone, and reselling it to whoever happened to pass through; as rare as customers were, things were going steady. You may have even preferred it to the fast pace of the mansion, people always in and out and never in one place for too long. Your life had taken on a domestic, relaxed pace, and you kind of loved it.

“I thought that’s what we were doing. I’m not leaving you now, Boss,” you comforted.

“You oughta be the Boss,” Spamton continued.

“Nah, I’d rather let you do all that. Besides, I don’t really want to make it big.”

“Then what the hell are you still doing here?”

He was the one you found yourself sharing this beloved lifestyle with, and you couldn’t imagine running such a business without him and his talkative nature that made sure things were never too quiet, or his advertisements that made you smile. It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to say you kind of loved him, too.

“At first, I came for the money from the job, but…” Your fingers brushed the dial of the rotary phone, tracing the circular indents. “I guess I just like it here.”

“[HELP.]”

Spamton twitched oddly, covering his mouth with his hand, but the effort to stop his speech was in vain.

“[I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP.]” He forcibly coughed a few times as you waited patiently for him to regain his proper thoughts.

When he collected himself, he fell back into his sales-pitch voice as he leaned his arms back against the counter.

“Tell you what, [hot-shot],” he pointed, “I like the sound of [Spamton & Co]. That’s a Big Shot name.”

“You think so?”

“But how will anyone know your [name brand product]? Maybe we should be Spamton & Y/n, or Y/n-Spamton.”

You liked having your name first, but that made it sound like... “Or, just stick to ‘and Co’,” you offered.

“The Original™.”

“Were you serious about me being boss, though?” You teased, once his glasses stopped fuzzing sporadically.

“Get outta here, [Y/n]. [PLEASE DO NOT TRY AT HOME. FOR RECREATIONAL USE ONLY.] That was just a joke. Don’t leave.”

You chuckled lightly, pushing up his glasses that had become crooked in his small episode. "I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me for at least a bit longer."

The action sent him glitching and blinking all over again. Okay, that was on you. You laughed lightly at his predicament, apologizing; although you knew he didn’t mind, because he smiled the whole time, not an ounce of annoyance to him.

[dogmabrimstone]

give me your spamton thots

realistic: spamton is transgender. This is an unshakeable pillar of truth in my mind to the point that when people write him as cis I get confused. his entire plot ingame is about getting him the body of his dreams by any means necessary PLUS he's literally the deltarune parallel to mettaton who is officially the most gender character ever. I like to think of him as a transmasc nb lesbian (slight projection) but he's at least definitely transmasc. not a man but a salesman.

not realistic but hilarious: spamton's in-game element is Cat. But he lays eggs like a bird. He's a cat bird hybrid. He's a griffin. The G in spamton g spamton stands for Griffin. thats why hes got a fucking pipis room im going to bite toby fox like a rat

heart crushing and awful: he has a gaster stigmata. self inflicted. he would get nervous about deals going through and start wringing his hands. over time, with more deals and more stress and more puppetification, it became almost an obsessive behavior. His palms started itching, he scratched until he bled. Frequently wrapped his hands in bandages, then wore gloves to hide them from the public. Picked at the scabs. After mike stopped calling, he started digging into the flesh more, nervous tic turned obsessive compulsion turned active self harm. Luckily his puppetification had advanced to the point his hands are now mostly synthetic, no more bleeding and no getting infected during his stay in the dumpster. Now has huge holes of cracked plastic/splintered wood (can't decide) through his hands. ended up filing them smooth so they stopped getting caught on everything. he actually has no idea what a stigmata is, who gaster is, or that this is even related to him.

unrealistic but i disregard canon: spamton is still alive! hes alive and he lives in kris’s pocket with jevil and theyre friends now even though spamton’s afraid of clowns. his puppetification and glitches will reverse over time as he heals and when deltarune is over theyll live in castle town together and everything will be fine. no one dies in the pacifist route he’s not dead hes just ugly. hes fine