#i can give a more in-depth explanation if u want!!!

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

actual /gen question bc i really don't know the difference what is the difference of self insert vs like x reader fics ? why do people not like the first one

they’re the same thing in most ways imo… i use them interchangeably!

[twoa-plus]

stanford pines & npd

i have been thinking about this for a WHILE so figured i should finally make a post about it. obligatory i am not a doctor i’m just yapping, if any of the info/wording here is wrong lmk :)

i don’t have a problem with “ford has npd” headcanons, a lot of the reasons people give are completely valid and i think it has a lot of potential in adding depth to his character, but there’s also a lot of times i see it and it seems like the op just doesn’t understand ford as a character and/or npd. so !! here’s a couple of counterpoints/things to consider :D

a lot of his social issues (especially his struggles with empathy & difficulty connecting to people who are different from him) can easily be attributed to autism. like the dude definitely has an ego problem but that’s not the only thing to him, he’s a Person. not every problem he has with other people is because he just thinks he’s Better Than Them - he does genuinely have issues connecting with others, and his personality can make it seem like he just doesn’t care. there seems to be this issue online/in fandom of needing people to be complete social butterflies, the perfect image of nail-biting, hand-wringing social anxiety, or shut-in misanthropes, but people & their relationships are more complicated than that. ford doesn’t fit into any of those categories - he’s neither super sociable nor anxious, but that doesn’t by default mean his isolation from others is wanted or comes from a place of superiority. he just has trouble bonding with people outside of shared interests, which is really common in autism. the entire dd&md episode is ford going completely overboard with this ttrpg because he’s “gone a while without a friend,” which just ,, doesn’t fit with someone that Doesn’t Care. dd&md doesn’t have anything to do with his work, he’s not testing dipper to make sure he’s worthy of his company or whatever, he’s just having fun with someone who likes the same things as him - that’s the only way he really knows to spend time with people. that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love mabel or stan, and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to bond or connect with them, and it doesn’t mean he thinks he’s above them - he just doesn’t know how to express that. every day i wake up and i think about how ford wanted stan to play dd&md with them and i cry

(as a side note bc i think this needs more explanation here - no, i genuinely don’t think ford, deep down, thinks he’s better than stan. stan has a lot of good qualities and i’m sure ford is aware of that *cough cough his ability to bond with the kids cough cough*, they just have a really strained relationship. it’s not just ford being mad at stan, either - stan has his own reasons for being upset with ford. between the 40 years worth of tension and them Being Siblings i think it’s really easy to take ford’s attitude towards him as a superiority thing when imo it’s closer to having 2 five year olds in the backseat of a car going “HE TOUCHED ME !!” “HE TOUCHED ME FIRST !!!” “NUH-UH !!!!” lol)

autism aside, that previous part has a lot of mentions of ford having an “ego problem” or “superiority complex” etc etc, which are usually some pretty big points people bring up with him having npd - but npd is a lot more complicated than that. this is where the “i’m not a doctor” disclaimer becomes really important - this is based on my own very limited understanding of npd, so take it with a grain of salt lol. that being said i’m not gonna talk abt actual npd too much for obvious reasons, but i do have one thing to point out, that being the core/root issue/whatever else u wanna call it of npd. from what i understand, people with npd have very low self-worth, and their behaviors come from a place of wanting others’ attention and approval as a stand-in or replacement of their own self image. this ,, isn’t something i think ford has a problem with. i don’t think his confidence in himself or his abilities is a facade (which is ok!! he’s made mistakes, sure, but the dude has done a lot of genuinely impressive things in his life), and - this might sound a little crazy but hear me out - i don’t think he actually cares that much about what others think of him. yeah, there’s all that stuff in journal 3 about him wanting to be the next Big Scientist or whatever, but i honestly think that was his father’s dream, not his. i’ve talked about this before, but filbrick having a preference for ford doesn’t mean he was suddenly a present and caring father towards him - both of the stans desperately wanted him to love them. a lot of people point to stan’s decisions in his 20s-30s - his scams, his criminal record, etc - as a manifestation of that desperation (“don’t come back until you’ve made us a fortune” or whatever), which is a point i think is completely valid. to add to that, though, the journals were written around the same time period, and i think ford’s aspirations of becoming a world-renowned scientist are his own version of that. filbrick wanted stan to make money, so that’s what stan wanted, too. filbrick wanted ford to be some super successful science guy (so he could make money), so that’s what ford wanted, too. by the time of the series ford doesn’t really seem to care that much - sure, he wants the kids to like him and whatnot, but that’s normal. outside of that he’s this total hermit who seems pretty content to just hang out in the basement and do his own thing lol

a smaller little note to close this on, a disturbing amount of npd hcs seem to come from people who just ,, don’t like ford. which is fine, you don’t have to like him or anything, but maybe don’t drag an irl condition into it? like i said npd is a lot more complicated than just being mean and thinking ur better than everyone else. its fine if u see those traits in ford, i can’t get inside ur head and rewire ur brain to like him lol, but maybe consider just phrasing it as “he’s mean” instead of “he’s a narcissist”? idk, it just kinda rubs me the wrong way when people like. diagnose him with npd and then use that as their “therefore he is Bad and i Don’t Like Him” point lol

alright that’s it i think drink water or whatever my head hurts and i hate writing outros so i simply Will Not

[me-beef]

fell’s design is rlly cool! what kind of story do u see urself telling w her?

It’ll be a fantasy adventure and mystery series!

I tried to give as much context as I could for the story without this getting too terribly long (I failed) but I sprinkled in some sketches to make reading the post a little more enjoyable lol

it’s all based on a homebrew pathfinder game that me wife @astrmastr ran for our group of buddies. She’s been HUGE in helping me develop the story, so it’s her baby too.

It’s set in ZahKol- a world where the remains of large, powerful beings known as titans make up the landscape. The magic in the world comes from their once immeasurable forms deteriorating in the earth for eons.

The plants, animals, and people that live off the land above a titan are usually imbued with remnants of its magic over time (<- explanation for where all the magical races come from- think dwarves, orcs, bugbears, all the flavors of elves/tieflings, anything we want to make up, whatever)

Felise “Fell” Feiffer is a college student at the largest school and library in the known world- Aton’s Academy for the Advancement of Adventuring Arts (or, AAAAA. You don’t have to scream the abbreviation necessarily- not if you don’t want to. But Arbiter Archibald highly encourages it. He does it, anyways. Every single time. To everyone’s reluctant, but accepting anticipation).

The Academy includes The Mages College- an institution dedicated to the study, research, and practice of the arcane arts.

At the time the main story takes place, Fell has become a certified mage (think, high school graduate- “congratulations, we think you’re competent enough to take care of yourself out there” certification), and is working on achieving her first higher rank at the college.

Typically, you achieve ranks in the college through noteworthy accomplishments- like making a significant contribution of research to the school, leading a beneficial community service project, etc.

Fell has spent all her time researching primal magic- a theoretical source of magic derived from pure titan essence.

More than anything, she wants to prove that a theory her father had ten years ago was correct- that The Winged Isles, an ancient civilization of bird-people known as the featherfolk, really still could exist out there.

and just maybe… using this, she could solve her father’s mysterious disappearance from ten years ago…

Does she dare hope that if she can find the isles...

...she can find her father?

congratulations!! you got to the end of my wordy story summary!! your reward is: yuri!

(Avis is the Windheart- Fell grew up listening to her father talk about his theories on featherfolk society, so Avis is kinda the equivalent of Fell meeting the princess from her childhood fairytales)

I was all over the place with this, so thanks for bearing with me! If anything was too vague, or any specific details intrigue you, I can… yknow 😏 go further in depth 😏 if u leave me a reply or send me an ask 😏😏

[vanni-network]

can i ask more about what shattervictim is? ^^

of course!!!!

ShatterVictim is the theory that the crying child/bite victim's memories are split between the 5 fnaf 1 animatronics, basically, due to the head trauma caused by being bitten caused his head to be crushed and his consciousness to shatter.

This theory gives a more literal meaning to what the fredbear plush says in the night 6 minigame

"You're broken. We are still your friends. Do you still believe that? I'm still here. I will put you back together."

I still dont know a whole bunch about this theory but if u want a more in-depth explanation I'd recommend for u to read about it in the fnaf theory wiki :3

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

oizys u should explain mouthwashing game to me alkdfjals;dkfj ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ it sounds neat but too horror-y for me 😭 but i'm getting. idk just like vague hints that you've heard about it or something <3 sooo if u want to then i could hear about it without having to experience it directly 👀

i dont know what would give you the implication ive seen it im so subtle about my enjoyment of it (lying) but yes ill be happy to provide an explanation :)

specifically what im going to do is . copy and paste the Extremely Detailed Run Through of the game that i told blink in a fit of madness, which is pretty much as close as you can get to playing/watching the game Without playing/watching it imltho

and Then since that explanation will still be kinda horror-y and may not be enjoyed by all ill put at the end of it a tl;dr section that's a more str8-forward explanation of the game with minimal horror elements explained in depth

so if u want to read the whole thing Great, if not feel free to speed scroll to the bottom and read there :) if u have any thoughts or follow up questions Please let me know i love being normal about this game

warnings for: blood, gore, mutilation, severe injury, implied assault (general and sexual), death, general Horror and Tension vibes

mouthwashing is a sci-fi horror game, set on the ship 'the tulpar' with its 5 crew members. there's curly, the captain jimmy, the co-pilot, second-in-command anya, the ship's nurse swansea, the ship's mechanic and daisuke, swansea's intern curly and jimmy are old friends, anya's about their age, swansea's an older man with a family back on earth, and daisuke is a teen/twenties smth who doesnt really know what he's doing with his life

when the game Opens u are told it's '0 days until the crash' and u get to have fun playing as a not-immediately-identified character who's running their ship into an asteroid following that scene you switch to '2 months after the crash' where you're playing as jimmy, with most of the rest of the crew sitting at a table with u and talking about whether or not to open up your cargo hold- as a delivery ship, it's against regulations, but you're stuck in the middle of space, the only thing protecting you from death in the vacuum being piles of emergency foam, and if there's food or medical supplies in there, you need them if youve any chance to survive

you learn in short order that the missing crew member- curly, your former captain now that jimmy's taken over that responsibility- was missing bc he's been in the medical ward for 2 months, devoid of his hands, feet, skin, and one eye. he was in the cockpit when the ship crashed, and it shows. if youve seen the fucked up bandaged guy assoiated with the game, surprise! that's post-crash curly

u get to Have Fun feeding him pain meds after anya asks for your help, saying she cant do it herself. this game has Wonderful sound design so. well. no one's having fun

jimmy then gets to go find a way into the cargo hold, along the way learning that the utility room is foamed up to hells and swansea isnt letting anyone else in there for the time being- the ship's cyro pods live in there, and theyre delicate, so he doesnt trust anyone else to break through the foam without a) killing them b) destroying the pods

once u break into the cargo hold, u see shelves upon shelves of cardboard boxes before the game switches gears to flash u back to 7 days before the crash

u learn ur now playing as curly, who's finishing up a psych eval with anya. he passes, huzzah! and offers to do jimmy's for anya when she mentions that he never takes it seriously, making stupid jokes that she then has to write down for the official report

before doing so, however, curly finds that daisuke has trapped himself in some foam trying to fix a utility vent that leads between the utility room and the medical room. curly gets the axe out for swansea to free daisuke with + clear the rest of the foam. luckily, no one is injured, and the pods (right next to the vent) weren't broken. swansea makes it clear that no one, especially daisuke, is to go back into that vent. it's too fucked up, it can't be fixed, you'll be cut and burned and shocked to death trying

curly takes note before leaving to do the eval with jimmy, with it going over more-normal since curly is doing it instead of anya. they then talk about their respective life positions- jimmy feels he's never going to be good enough, that he's never really gotten anywhere meaningful, and curly is torn between staying in his role as a great ship captain or trying to see if he'd be better off somewhere else, if being a captain is really what he wants to do forever

jimmy makes a comment about how curly's choosing between staying at the top of his current ladder or switching for another, but he's still got 'a long way down/to fall' either way

theyre cut off when a message from the higher ups comes in, and jimmy leaves so curly can read it privately

back to 2 months after the crash, the crew reveals what theyve been shipping: mouthwash. boxes upon boxes of mouthwash. one of them makes a comment about how this is what they wanted us crating across the stars? only mouthwash? anya notes that the mouthwash has too much sugar to be used as a disinfectant, and points out the 14% ethanol content. swansea takes this as a good sign to take a swig of the stuff to Swallow, making a comment about 15 years of sobriety down the drain

we return to 7 days before the crash, where curly has read the message from the higher ups and it is Not Good. he goes to tell the crew, only to have them all greet him with hats and balloons- surprise! happy birthday, curly

they only get one birthday celebration per trip, and they take turns each trip with whose bday they focus on, and this time it's curly. jimmy comments on how the tradition is corny, but he's kinda grown to like it, and he looks forward to the next one. curly reacts oddly before he goes to make the cake; he has to be the one to do it, bc only the captain has the rights to make sugar packets

the crew ask him to do a speech, but as he puts the cake down, they realize something's wrong. they ask what, and curly reveals the news of the note- the 'pony express' they work for is pulling the plug on them. this mouthwash expedition will be their last one- they will get paid for it, curly says, they assured me the crew

doesnt exactly take the news well

swansea said they shouldve seen it coming, pony express was the last organization to run manned delivery ships, the writing was on the wall. anya expresses that she doesnt know what to do- she doesnt have any savings. daisuke asks if they can even do this

jimmy gets more into it, pointing out Specifically how fucked they are- swansea's hardly got that many more working years in him, anya never finished nursing school and hey we all know she never will, but, yknow what, daisuke's got a rich mommy and daddy, so thank gods he'll be just fine. jimmy's got nothing waiting for him on earth, but whatever, i'll be fine, isnt that what you said, curly? that im always fine? down here on the bottom of the rungs? and of course, for curly, this is the best possible outcome! a chance to leave being a captain with none of the guilt of the choice. he wasnt even running from being a captain, just from being around them, but he has to be hero. he's always the hero. and now he's still the damn hero

curly tries to calm jimmy, jimmy slams his hands on the table, and tells him to just cut the goddamn cake

curly does so. it looks more like a stabbing motion

back to post-crash, it's the middle of the night. daisuke's asleep, anya + swansea are missing, and curly's scream-groans are echoing through the ship

jimmy goes to check on curly, finds him flailing. he needs more painkillers, but jimmy's not sure if he's had his set for the day cycle yet, so he goes to find anya. both her and swansea are found in the cockpit, talking about something. anya's not sure what to do. they cut off when jimmy appears, ask him if he's having trouble sleeping too

jimmy asks about the meds, anya says she forgot to do it. jimmy berates her for it before saying he'll take care of it- anya tries to insist she can, but jimmy ignores her to do it himself

curly flails more, pained, screaming, but he gets the meds, jimmy sees to that. theyre running low. once theyre out, jimmy muses, they wont have anything to give curly for the pain, to keep him still

still jimmy, we now enter a This Isnt Reality moment

jimmy's in the main area, the screen that simulates a sky cracked and flashing EMERGENCY on it. at the table is curly, in all his bloody bandage glory. the cake's between him and jimmy. curly- who can talk here, who cant talk in real life anymore- wants to eat the cake. jimmy says it's shitty, subpar, not worth it. curly argues that u need meh things to make the good things Good. he asks jimmy to cut it, and jimmy says he will once he finds a knife

the cake knife is in the broken cockpit, buried in the back of the captain's headrest. jimmy comes back and finds the cake is gone, now curly's on the table instead. the game glitches and cuts to 3 months post-crash before you cut anything

jimmy's in the cargo hold. the place's been lightly ransacked, some boxes open, spilling off the shelves. you need to check on the crew

daisuke's on the floor right outside the hold, sick with a mouthwash in hand. he's drunk some. jimmy says he should stop, it'll kill him-

-faster than anything, daisuke finishes. he gives the mouthwash to jimmy. he never wants to see it again

anya's at the table in the main area, staring at an unopened bottle. there's a backup medical storage area, trapped in the foam, but not That trapped. she thinks they can get to it. they need more medicine

jimmy goes to get the axe from swansea. he's wasted on mouthwash (side note, this crew's ability to survive things that usually kill over the longterm is oddly high. no offense curly and swansea, but you both should be dead well before the end of this affair) and dancing with the axe in hand

jimmy wants it? wants to risk cracking a hole in their ship's emergency foam and killing them all? be his guest- swansea buries the axe in the sky screen behind him, right in the center of the fake sun, and lets jimmy take it away

he gets to the medicine. painkillers- different type, different dose- and medicinal rubbing alcohol (pure alcohol, the inventory tells you, so strong that it could kill)

anya asks him to give the pills to curly again. jimmy breaks again, yelling at anya- can she not do her job?? doesnt she know how busy he is as captain, how much he has to do?? find the scanner, get into the cargo hold, check on the crew, get the axe, and of course, give curly his fucking pills. anya backpedals, says she can do it- but no. jimmy's been asked, jimmy's got it. he'll give curly his fucking pills (the swear is in the mission objective now!)

i get it now, jimmy tells a pained curly, about wanting to get out. being captain's hard. you have to do everything. but don't worry curly. jimmy's going to get them all through this. he's going to fix this. he gives curly his fucking medicine

we now cut to 6 hours before "judgement". jimmy's locked himself in the cockpit- outside, swansea is yelling for him, telling him he cant hide, shaking the door. jimmy rushes to the supply cabinet, finds a broken metal pipe and some rope, these can be useful

he shoves the metal pipe into the door, trying to reinforce the lock. he grabs the rope and swansea breaks through the door's window, reaching through the broken glass for the lock

3 days before the crash, anya's sitting in the main area, looking at the simulated sky. it's set for night, deep blue and silver moon. curly sits next to her. neither of them can sleep, anya says she's been having trouble for a few nights now

there's a dead pixel in the top corner, anya tells curly, if you look closely enough curly cant see it, but he says it'll haunt him. now that you've told me, anya, it'll always be in the back of my mind anya asks how much longer they have to the trip. 273 days, curly responds, just under- -8 months, anya finishes. sits for another moment. captain, why do they have a lock on the door for the medical room, but not the sleeping quarters? same reason they do the cockpit, curly replies. safety the screen glitches out on the word

post crash, 5 months. there's an emergency, daisuke tells us- anya's locked in the medical room with curly

jimmy and daisuke go to investigate, try to force the door open. jimmy asks how hard anya's tried to unstick it on her end, has she put her back into it? she's silent. jimmy asks if the door is really stuck. it isnt, she admits, and she isnt going to unlock it

jimmy says she needs to get over herself, that she needs to learn to deal with hardship. all their meds are in there. she needs to open the door

anya says that she still believes people arent as bad as their worst moment (an earlier conversation, back when we were only 2 months post crash, when jimmy was musing on why they chose to keep curly alive despite the cost, despite 'what he did'). that she believes this isnt her worst moment. they wont stop her from what she must do

jimmy, worried about curly, asks daisuke if there's any other way into the medical room. there is. it's the super duper completely off limits vent that starts in the also currently off limits utility room

to get in the utility room, they need to get past swansea. he's got the key and he's still not letting anyone in, looking miserable and ill as he sits outside the utility room door. he's not dead yet, but the mouthwash isnt exactly doing him any favours

8 hours before judgement. daisuke's on his bedroll, bloody and in agony. they need disinfectant- where's the medicinal alcohol? swansea asks (demands) jimmy tells him cocktail, and swansea curses, tells him to go look for something else. swansea goes to the medical room, door now open. you can't see the area where curly is, cant find anya; the screen glitches out in grey stripes you go the cargo hold. the stairs leading down into them are longer, longer than you remember, too long. take responsibility, take care of it. there's a monster in the cargo, and if you move when it's too close it'll get you

you find a bottle of mouthwash, not yet opened, in the hands of the ship's horse mascot polle

you take it back to daisuke. he tells you he's sorry he messed up, you tell him not to speak

it's too much sugar. you have nothing else you close your eyes and daisuke screams

5 months after the crash. you need to get past swansea. he's got a high tolerance, but it can only be so high, right? you mix a cocktail, one part mouthwash, one part medical alcohol (so strong it could kill)

swansea accepts the 'peace offering.' he hits the ground and the key falls out of his pocket. daisuke worries, will he be ok? it's fine. he has a high tolerance

you open the utility room and find that it's not filled to the brim with foam. the edges are, sure, and most of the cyro pods are ruined, but it's clear overall. there's still one pod standing

daisuke's impressed. swansea's done more work than we thought! jimmy argues he hasn't done any work, he's been lying through his teeth the entire time, hiding the remaining cyro pod as his own secret and excuse to keep welding the axe. only one of them can survive, and swansea's setting it up to be him

daisuke isnt convinced, says they should wait to ask swansea about it. jimmy says theyll deal with him later. for now- the vent

it's still a danger, electricity sparking from a loose wire. daisuke's not convinced this is a good idea. sure, swansea may have been lying about the utility room being foamed out, but he was really serious about this vent. maybe they shouldnt go in

jimmy reminds him this is there only way in, to anya, to curly. daisuke has to go in- he'll be fine, and then, swansea will be so proud of him. he'll have done so well. he'll have done good.... under captain's orders

daisuke folds. he's going to do it. he climbs into the vent. you listen to him clunk through, shuffle over the metal- a pained sound, a groan, and then he's into the medical room. oh, anya, what did you do?

it's 1 day before the crash now. your objective is to find the gun

it's not in the medical room, not in the main area. you go to the cockpit, where it should be, and find anya, kneeling on the floor, distraught. as the nurse, she gave all the psych evals, but no one gave her one. you shouldve. you should have done a lot of things

you'll take care of this, you promise her, you'll get this all figured out. it doesnt have to go on the report logs. where's the gun?

anya tells curly she's pregnant. he asks who.

captain, anya says, i told you.

curly asks for the gun again, says he'll talk to him, he's known him a long time, but he needs the gun back

she reminds him that only the captain can open the case, that she doesnt really have the gun, just the case holding it, hidden away. the bylaws wont let you arm her with it against him, but she wont let it fall into his hands

6 hours before judgement. jimmy cant get daisuke's bleeding to stop. swansea's kneeling next to the kid. he's got the axe again

he talks to daisuke, for a bit. about how he hadnt been able to do anything right, about how swansea didnt know why he had come to the ship in the first place. about how he was just a kid trying to figure everything out. about how he was still always Trying. always wanting to Learn. useless ray of goddamn sunshine. you couldve taught an old fool like me a lot. close your eyes, daisuke

swansea raises his axe and strikes the center of the sun

jimmy starts arguing with swansea, angry, why'd he do that? didnt he see jimmy was fixing it, that he just needed time? why will no one on this damn ship give him any time?

swansea says he's done with jimmy's trying to 'fix' everything, that there was no more hope for any of them, that he was sparing daisuke from spending another second with jimmy and his delusions

jimmy accuses swansea of less selfless motivations, tells him that he knows about the utility room, the one remaining cyro pod- swansea's planning to try and be the last one standing, isnt he? 20 years in a cyro chamber is a better chance than the months theyve got on the ship before food runs out

swansea laughs at him. he doesnt want the cyro chamber. he's got everything he needs right there on the ship. does jimmy want it? he's welcome to it - he can tell whatever story he wants when the rescue crews finally find him. he can be the hero. curly and the rest of them'll take the blame. jimmy can be the hero

jimmy brushes him off, goes to the medical room. anya's on the floor, vomit on her chest and three bottles scattered around her slumped over form. curly, still alive, watches you with one eye as you pry open her hidden drawer and find the gun case. you can open it. you're captain now

you go to the medical door. open it up to find swansea running at you, full tilt, axe raised over his head. you slam the door shut

curly laughs at you. as you open the case, get the gun, find swansea running at you. bloody hunk of meat and he's laugh-crying at you

0 days before the crash. anya's in the medical room, on her knees. she told jimmy. curly says he wishes she wouldve waited for him. it doesnt matter. jimmy didnt take the news well, stormed off. curly goes to follow him. he can fix this. he'll fix this

jimmy's outside the utility room. i can fix this, curly tells him. you'll get through this

it's not just me though, is it? jimmy points out. it's your ship, captain. your responsibility (take responsibility, take care of it). that'll follow you around for the rest of your life

or they'll just see it as your best attempt. a tragedy, despite its impeccable captain's supposed best efforts. no survivors to tell the tale

for a moment, the first moment, you cut out of both jimmy and curly's bodies. you watch jimmy put his hand on curly's arm. take care of it, take care of it, take care of it, kills 99.9%-

jimmy says he'll take care of it, and he walks away

moments later, the ship is crashing, jimmy sitting outside of the cockpit. tell me you didn't-? no response. you pry open the doors to the cockpit, rush in headfirst. you'll fix it. you will fix it, even as fire consumes your vision

1 hour before judgement. you've got curly in your arms now. you walk him out to the main area- surprise! happy birthday jimmy

the crew's seated at the table again; anya with her vomit-covered chest, daisuke with a bloody line through his face, swansea with a bullet through his forehead. jimmy places curly on the table. theyre all celebrating him, begging him for a speech. you pick up the knife

for some people, it's enough just to put food on the table. but not for curly. he needs more. you've always needed more, curly, but that's alright. i still believe in you. even like this

a view from above shows the crew slumped over and unmoving. a view from jimmy's eyes show them sitting up, breathing, smiling. swansea's drinking more mouthwash

you cut through the cake with a stabbing motion, a sawing motion, dropping a slab on each member's plate. the cake sits. curly stares. both his legs are shorter than they were before the crash, but one even more so now. feast

you're in the vents now. take responsibility. there's no going back now. you turn around and something- a face- in the darkness- you're facing the vent again. there's no going back now

you crawl, backwards, through the vents. a bloody note reads responsibility and you crawl from it the fastest. axes line the vents. now flowers, hibiscuses, bright pink like the one's on daisuke's shirt

you tie up swansea. you can still fix this, you tell him. you'll fix this

swansea tells a story. how he used to be a drunkard, always down the bottle, until one day he looked in the mirror and scared himself, saw a bloated body in a ditch if he didnt straighten out. he got sober, got a job, a mortgage, a collared shirt. a wife, kids. none of his achievements ever felt as good as he wanted them too. those days, lost to the bottle, living on the edge- they were some of the best he ever had

if i couldve done one thing right, he tells you, i wouldve saved that kid. that would have been worth it. that would have meant something

jimmy says he can fix this. swansea tells him to fuck off. jimmy fires his gun

you walk through the endless halls of the ship. the walls are sporting eyes, and all of them are watching you. curly's eye, eyes. watching you. you crawl out of his throat and find him where you bolted him into the ship, half machine, surrounded by tvs

you go to the tv, watch a cartoon. it's mother goose's birthday. you grab the cake and pull out a slice of curly's leg. he'll thank you one day. you twist the knobs until the cake goes down a treat, until he can't spit it back up. he'll thank you one day

there's flesh in the ship and it's beating, bleating, horses like fetuses in the warmth. the blob blinks filmy eyes out at you and screams

polle's talking to you now. backdrop of the cargo hold. backdrop of the skyscreen, set to night. poor you, polle coos in false sympathy, caged and unbelieved

i tried my best! jimmy argues, me and curly both did. but curly's the better man

why are you still so concerned with him?

jimmy carries curly to the utility room. puts him in the pod. closes the door

we're curly again, watching our old friend through the glass

i wanted to help you, but all i did was hurt you. but you're safe now. no one can harm you now. together we can fix anything, right? we fixed it. i.... i fixed it

jimmy walks out of sight. you hear a gunshot. a moment of panic, blind- did he forget? did he leave you here, trapped, alone-

and the cyro kicks in, blue and cool, as the credits roll through your vision

TL;DR RECAPPING

mouthwashing is about a cargo ship crew stuck in space after their ship was purposefully crashed by one of their own. you take turns playing the game 'before the crash' as curly, the official captain, and playing 'after the crash' as jimmy, the co-pilot and unofficial captain once curly is severely injured by the crash. other characters are anya, the ship's nurse, swansea, the ship's mechanic, daisuke, swansea's intern, and polle, the ship's mascot who is only alive in some nightmares

throughout the game you learn that, while he's convinced the others it was curly, jimmy crashed the ship in a fit of desperation after learning that anya- whom he assaulted- was pregnant. the child was evidence he wouldnt be able to hide when they reached their destination, so... why not crash the ship and doom everyone!

the game gets its name from the fact that the only thing the crew was hauling turns out to be mouthwashing, which swansea uses to get drunk, but otherwise isnt very helpful. many good symbolic/metaphorical implications contained in it though!

by the end of the game, all characters end up dead, save for curly. anya commits suicide with pills, swansea mercy kills daisuke after jimmy goaded him into doing something stupid that got him seriously injured, swansea gets shot when going after jimmy, and jimmy kills himself with gunshot after putting curly in a cyropod. it's possible curly wont survive too, but he's the only crew member with a chance at it

the game has Many themes and concepts and such but some of the most important to take away are:

responsibility and complicity. jimmy and curly are the two player characters for a reason; they're parallels to each other. jimmy is the primary/direct cause for most of what goes wrong, but he wouldn't have been able to do everything he did if curly had done his job and stopped him. curly's complicity in jimmy's crimes are what ultimately doom himself and the entire ship. jimmy does everything, curly does nothing, and they are both to blame

the rampant effects of misogyny, in the workplace and general, and how even in issues that are All about them, women are often excluded from their own narratives. mouthwashing is driven by the injustice anya faces at both jimmy and curly's hands, in how jimmy treats her and in how curly refuses to see what jimmy's done because He's An Old Friend, He Wouldn't Do That, Right? yet, despite this, anya is often strikingly absent from the story, especially in jimmy's hallucinations. he's willing to accept the blame, the responsibility for everything... but not anya. he begs forgiveness for wronging curly, but he never even thinks of it for anya. in a story so largely controlled by the mistreatment she faces and everything she tries to do to combat it, anya is constantly sidelined. this is purposeful. this is unreliable narrator at their finest

turning the blind eye eventually comes back to hurt everyone, especially the ones who looked away the hardest. curly does nothing to help anya, only to end up in a position where he's the one entirely at jimmy's violent mercy. see the previously mentioned points

and there is So Much More but those are some base points u can carry away with u whether u read the full debrief or just the tldr :) hope you enjoyed . i am mentally well (lying)

[tigertofu]

Hello! Hope you are doing well! Super cool that you’re taking requests now, I have a prompt if you’d like to use it :)

Trevor as a dad! Could be headcannons about how he is as a father, how he acts during the 9 months, how he is during delivery, finding out reader is pregnant, etc. Excited to see your take on this scenario!

im doing well and i hope u are too <33 !! and ty for the request ! i've actually never thought much abt what trev would be like as a dad 🤔 so this was fun to come up with X))

pairing: fem reader/Trevor

summary: headcanon list of how Trevor would be during his partner's pregnancy and how he would be with a baby.

cw's: mentions of sex

wordcount: 1,174

• when you first tell him that you’re pregnant, he’ll be completely dumbfounded (despite his dislike for condoms and tendency to fuck rough enough to sometimes break condoms, anyways). he’s always thought he’d make an incredible father, but once he finds out that he’s actually going to be one? utter shock. it’s a good shock, though, and once it wears off he’ll give you the biggest bear hug ever, pick you up, spin you around, and absolutely cover you in manic kisses.

• he’ll watch you like a fucking hawk throughout the whole pregnancy. he won’t let you go out in public unless he’s with you, “just in case” (if you ask him, “in case of what?” he’ll ominously say “in case of anything” as if it’s obvious what he’s referring to).

• get ready to be completely smothered with attention and over–protectiveness. tensions may sometimes rise. you’ll be stressed about the whole growing another human inside of you thing, and he’ll be constantly on high–alert for anything/one that may do you harm, so he will get unfairly snippy with you more than once.

• he has good intentions though, and he’ll use every ounce of self–restraint to prevent these little tiffs from devolving into full–blown arguments because he’ll understand that stress is bad for the baby. despite all this, he may inadvertently do some things that aren’t conducive to a healthy pregnancy. like trying to light up a cigarette or his pipe while you’re sitting right next to him. remind him it’s bad for the baby enough times and he’ll start to remember to step outside to smoke, though. 

• he’ll be unable to keep his hands off you during the pregnancy. every single day, he’ll take a moment to press an ear against your stomach, trying to listen for a heartbeat or feel the baby moving around. he might get impatient over this when it doesn’t happen as soon as he expects. but once he does finally hear or feel it for the first time, he’ll (loudly and kinda pathetically but still adorably) cry of happiness.

• sex will be even more frequent than it was pre–pregnancy, if you’re up for it.

• constant handholding while in public together will become a must. he’ll want everyone to know that you’re his and that it’s his baby you’re carrying. just knowing that you two will soon be a little family of three will make him insanely proud. he’ll be sure to mention that you’re expecting every single chance he gets, to literally anybody you interact with, no matter how irrelevant/inappropriate it is to any given conversation.  

• the day of the delivery can go either one of two ways. if you go to a hospital, things might get a bit not–great. he’ll stay glued to your side and regard any poor nurse or doctor who comes into the room with a scowl and intense suspicion. he’ll demand an excruciatingly in–depth explanation of every single procedure they do on you. fights with healthcare professionals may or may not happen. if they do, he’ll probably get carted out by security (after a struggle that may or may not result in the costs of broken medical equipment getting added on to your final bill). then somehow sneak his way back into your room not an hour later. don’t worry, they’ll eventually give up on trying to throw him out.

• things will probably be a lot easier if you have a homebirth with the help of a midwife (depending on the patience of the midwife and whether or not Trevor decides to tidy up his place before the delivery.)

• wherever you have the baby, he’ll insist on being involved throughout the entire birth. you can hold his hand and squeeze as hard as you want to. he’ll constantly give you words of encouragement.

• if you let him, he will also take interest in (closely) watching the actual moment of birth itself. he obviously isn’t squeamish, and he’ll insist on his face being the first thing the baby sees as it enters the world so that he can “imprint on them and they'll know who their dad is” (try to tell him you don’t think that’s how it works and he’ll vehemently disagree.)

• while you’re recovering from the birth, he’ll dote on you 24/7. he’ll ask you a million times per day if there’s anything, anything at all, he can do or get for you and the baby. most of his time will be spent right by your side, but he may sometimes get extremely irritated by the baby’s frequent crying. he’ll take a moment to have some alone time outside when this happens, probably just to pace around and punch a tree or an unlucky passerby, though. then it’s right back to snuggling and fawning over the baby once he’s blown off some steam.

• no matter what the baby’s sex is, he’ll ask if you can name it Trevor Jr. he’ll let the naming be ultimately up to you, though.

• limiting the amount of time the baby is left alone with him will directly increase their chance of surviving past infancy. not because Trevor would ever do anything harmful to them on purpose, but because he isn’t the most well-versed in what objects/food/substances are appropriate or not for a baby to interact with. he’ll try feeding them solid food the day after they're born; probably meat of some kind so they’ll “grow big and strong.”

• if you decide to breastfeed, expect him to over–eagerly and constantly ask if he can help with pumping or if you want a breast massage. he will also definitely ask, at least once, if he “can have a taste.”

• he’ll absolutely love to spend time with the baby, when he’s in the right mood, which will be more often than not. he’ll lay down and have them sleep on his chest. he’ll intensely stare at them while they sleep with an expression that looks like something halfway between mild disbelief and annoyance. but he’s really just in awe that you and him have made an entire other human being together. he’ll love to let them hold onto his fingers with that, like, automatic grabby fist that babies do. 

• he’ll talk to the baby a lot. Trevor loves to talk about himself, and now that he has someone who can’t tell him to shut up, or tell him that he’s fucking insane, or question whether or not his stories are real? perfect. he won’t talk to them like they’re a baby; he’ll treat them as if they understand every word he’s saying. definitely for the best that they actually won’t though because he’ll recount some very gorey stories about his past escapades.

• however, he’ll also frequently tell them that they are the most badass, most handsome/beautiful, smartest, strongest baby ever. he'll constantly give them kisses and gently poke at their chubby cheeks. despite all his shortcomings, he’ll be a very loving and protective father.

[qevillous]

hai hello i wanted to ask abt how u view shadow s5 and any hc's you have for them as sort of both individuals and as a group :3 go as in depth as you like im a sucker for long detailed explanations

OUYH MY GOOOD SHADOW S5 OH MY GAGGDG

OH MYG OD okay hey

shadow s5 as a dynamic is so interesting to me because its very similar yet very VERY different all the same because of exactly who gets changed.

so first on like individual levels heres how i take the shadows ahem clears throat (STINKS that we dont have canon aloarmy but okayyy hinodeya)

shadow rider is canonically a coward, hes nervous and self doubting. hes verrrry exaggerated in the manga so i like to exaggerate him in writing. i think hes more of an incompatible follower who cant get picked by anyone instead of a compatible loner who chose to be alone like normal rider.

shadow army has no canon interp so i interpet them similarly to how eging jr was flipped but in reverse. theyre less organized, they dint fuckin button their shirt right they wear their coat unzipped shitty tie shitty facepaint yk the deal. i also interpret them as more aggresively rebellious where normal army is more of a passive stickler. that basically means they’re more laid back and explicit. 

shadow aloha ALSO has no canon. so i interp him as a loooserrr LMAO very sarcastic but very pessimistic, where normal aloha is more of a sarcastic optimist. he comments on shit in the background like hes talkin to someone even tho nobody gives a fuck what he thinks and he doesn’t particularly care about his surroundings. overall just the loser in the corner of a party sitting down holding a drink instead of the main focus. 

shadow mask is silly. silly guy. they’re obviouslt exaggerated a LOT in the manga so i like to tone them down just a bit, acting more happy for the sake of being happy instead of high energy. that contrasts masks ideal of being cynical for the sake of being cynical. i think both are sarcastic but on shadow masks side xe doesn’t mean it, and they come off as insincere, explaining how their excitement at the battle felt like excessive overkill despite it not being so.

shadow skull is very similar to normal skull in expressiveness, but is different in awareness. i think shadow skull is very aware of his surroundings but not very emotionally empathetic. i think what he lacks in empathy is made up for in his directness. 

shadow s5 is interesting because it pretty much completely throws the social dynamic of s5. normal s5 is 1 extrovert 1 ambivert 3 introverts, and instead of shadow s5 being 4 extroverts 1 ambivert 1 introvert, shadow s5 is ACTUALLY 2 extroverts 3 introverts. which makes it even more interesting because of just how much more balanced it makes their social interactions split into duos.

for example shadow raimask is very chill since they both share a similar mindset, where shadow raimask is chaos because they have directly oppising mindsets. on the flip side shadow alomask is direct opposites, and normal alsomask is ALSO direct opposites but swapped over. i could talk about it for a while but i think i would start rambling like a crazy person. i like the idea of shadow s5 in a more casual light instead of the manga’s exaggerated one. it would give more insight to their personalities and interactions but we cant have Anything can we bcz hindodeya haaaates meeeeee.

[vhsc1ty]

art youtubers that i rate so hard and actually learn stuff from (for me to send to ppl when they want personal recs lol)

most of these are for digital art but concepts apply to traditional too — all links are to youtube

pluvias

the first set of art tutorials that got me into digital art!

her colouring tutorials are step by step and super clear

useful for more painterly anime styles. her art is crazy beautiful though she's not as active anymore 💔 her tutorials are definitely not out of date though

angel ganev

great applicable and well-explained advice and his "can we improve this drawing" series on youtube shorts is the best ive seen (tho he is much nicer on yt shorts than his full length videos lol)

actually explains concepts like light and shadow and facial anatomy and gives terminology & methods for applying these concepts

useful for learning how to do digital portraits

qrbits

great video series on making better character designs and how to bring your characters to life through character interactions

long and in depth videos with clear sections and thorough explanations

useful for learning how to make your drawings communicate your characters better! and make them cooler!

draw sessions

anything and everything but from what ive seen mainly character design for video games and monster design

also has stuff for beginners on anatomy and industry advice. many many videos organised into playlists just take a look and see what interests you

tough but practical advice & the set up is just a sketchbook pens and an uncut recording

soooo many great little tips in every single video

good for all sorts of things but mainly making good character concepts and developing yourself as an artist!

rin

youtube shorts & instagram reels with tips on drawing things like anatomy and shading in a simple and easy to understand way

has interesting character breakdowns for spiderverse characters highlighting their features & how to draw them

just so hilarious. for me she made art seem fun again

vikartstuf

practical advice for everyone including beginners on typical art problems and difficult areas of art

cool perspective on art i haven't really seen in other art channels

good for if you're stuck and not improving

his channel is way too underrated go check it out dawg

chommang

this dude is insane at anatomy and drawing the body from any perspective

just watching him draw u will learn something. trust

also has art tutorial and exercises to do. very nice and constructive method of drawing. all about intentional mark making not a line is wasted bruh

almost all traditional ! the pencil sounds are very calming haha

that's about it! ill reblog if i remember any more people i watch haha

[alpinezro]

hi... I HOPE THIS IS ALRIGHT TO ASK but ive admired how you render for a long time and you mentioned a while back in a post that you'd studied light particles n how they work and i have been. deathly curious as to how you went about doing that... drawing from reference and doing studies of course, but was there any particular way you went about it? i hope this finds you well. anyways . sorry ! thank you for your time

no need to apologize, and thank you so much for asking! not sure i can provide the best explanation, but most of what i learned was off of youtube and some blog-ish websites. this probably wont make any sense at all but ill try my best.

The Anatomy of Shadows

a big part of it was learning the anatomy of shadows, specifically the terminator and different varieties. heres a diagram,

terminators are just where the light and shadow meet. you always want to be able to tell where the terminator starts and ends!!! be CONFIDENT and BOLD with them!!!! they communicate so much information about structure

more on the different types of terminators/shadows. the ones i most use are cast and body.

a great example of these is the rembrandt triangle, composed of the shadow cast by the nose (cast shadow) and the shadow of the cheek (body shadow). body shadows are so so aewsome because they represents changes in planes. cast shadows r just kinda there. but i think they get softer the further away from the object they are since the light particles wiggle their way underneath and create reflection/ambient light

Ambient Occlusion and Light

SPEAKING OF WHICH!!! ambient light is basically just, the light particles that are bouncing around in a scene. imagine you're at the beach and its a really cloudy day, the shadows arent gonna be dramatic like they would if you were in a dark room with one light source.

youd think that we're kinda like. enveloped in light by default but no, we're pretty much always in shadow. shadows are the normal part. light is a strange freak that broke into your house and fucked everything up.

more about ambient occlusion. ambient occlusion just occurs when objects get close together and light cant wiggle its way in, as stated earlier. heres a shitty example. AO is key to realism.

this guy explains it better than i ever could

Lighting Focus or Whatever the Fawk its Called I Forgot But There's Definitely a Scientific/Cinematic Term For This

another thing. level of detail in shadows is gonna be way different than in light and vice versa. u know when u spend a bunch of time outside and u go inside and its just solid black for a few seconds? its a similar idea here, ur eyes are so focused on the lit area they dont even give a shit abt the shadows.

because of this, i try to keep shaded areas blurred. a lot of detail is implied, just let the viewers mind fill in the blanks.

last but not least,

Subsurface Scattering (on the skin, at least)

can i be so honest with you for a second??? i dont actually know what this means, like in depth. im sure this has something to do with light penetrating through semi-transparent skincells and illuminating blood,, but i cant be sure. thats just an educated guess. past oakley is always smarter than present oakley for some reason.

i usually combine it with reflected light to create a more cohesive look. burt like... yeah... theres plenty of people who can explain this better than me

ok thast all i hope this helped at least a little!!!!! LOTS of youtube videos. lots of visualizing silly little particles bouncing around. i probably forgot some stuff.

this video is realy good

[lilac-udon]

Alien stage thoughts

I saw many hate round 7, the plot is logically this result is understandable and very valid, however it’s not a good aftertaste for the audience . I guess I give some critique? I did make a post about the story, logically I think till should die. the story always seems interesting to me because I feel it’s not standard, not taking usual paths. for me I think it’s cool too see creative goes to places ppl never goes before and explore more unusual none traditional plots , which I think that’s why round 6 is big, usually no one will write it like that. ( ivan a side character being this devoted and etc) However I also did consider if this is a writer flaw . story wise round 7 is confusing and depressing . how I see my love for ivan because he is the most in depth character, simple straight forward of lover boy angst over his love. he’s story is full, refined, understandable. I said this also led characters unbalanced of sua, , till and mizi who especially is the mc is out of focus, and results many cheering for till who ivan put his effort on that the audience can attach their feelings to . What I was expecting was more story of till however we doesn’t get it( and logically we shouldn’t bc he isn’t the mc), it make till felt hollow. They really put too much insight for ivan where luka till mizi etc all just glanced through their activities. Another problem of alst , they always add more explanation and info out of the video which sua and ivan is actually quite different from only viewing the mvs. Paid content and post to explain the motive that you completely can not get from videos, however ivan gets a lot in his videos time. Was too hype for till to be a complex character but he met his end before anything. I can only see them all alive in some ways to save this part for the explanation.

so I was looking at others criticism and I do agree about some, mostly about the ship, like it’s logical what had happened , but viewing ppl opinions I do agree, the series was heavily depending on selling their official ship, and their mismatch pairing of the final give viewers bad taste ,confusion and mostly sadness, the lack of mizi internal really made till became the main character everyone voting for … the ambiguity of timeline. So yeah the video is short and you can’t put all the information you want to say. I do see this happening however it just sad, my worries is they make them all alive but that really hurts the writing a little, viv always like to be sad, is my joy to read and see people idea after round 6, now everyone is dead ah , also joke on u I love my ship dead :) I’m just concerned about the story continuity

half way in the story??? And half of them is dead????????

Oh there’s one thing I dislike about… the art book gives us what the author explained of what is what… ugh

Add I’m gonna add here so no one see at first sight, it a joke I love them: till has such a miserable life, abuse, and harass two time before death

But the overall video is hype I love it but the story just a bit sad, but for till that pretty nice too I guess, he can finally leave this horrible world

[citieskyes]

Hi! I love your posts so much, they're the highlight of my day and I hope you're having a great day <3 I'm slowly getting into astrology and I wanna learn more about myself. I hope it's okay to ask questions like this, my placements are Leo stellium (Sun, Mercury, Jupiter in 5th) and Cancer stellium (Moon, Venus, Saturn in 4th) with a Pisces mars in 12th. Could you maybe give me some opinions on my placements if you can? I appreciate it in advance if you answer this :) Hope you're doing okay lovely!

Hi, thank u sm! That honestly means a lot to me 🥰 I can give a short explanation on what it all means below but if you want something more in depth message me for a birth chart reading x

Cancer moon: This is a favourable placement as the moon is ruled by Cancer. As the moon is ruled by cancer, it changes signs frequently so this means you’re more affected by this energy. This can make you moody. You may be very empathic and nurturing. Sometimes you might place the needs of others before you. You may have strong “gut feelings” that you rely on when making decisions.

Leo mercury: Leo mercuries tend to be loud and flamboyant in their gestures. This depends on the house mercury is in also. Leo mercuries love hyping people up and giving out compliments. They are genuinely very supportive and genuine. They can’t lie at all, they’re very honest and straightforward people, sometimes a little TOO honest. I find that they’re good with public speaking and debates. Since Leo is a fire sign, when you speak people are captivated by your passion. You tend to have loud sounding voice. Lot of Leo mercuries I know are dramatic, like they love to gasp over the smallest things.

Cancer Venus: this suggests you’re loyal but sometimes it can be borderline possessive. You’re in love with the idea of love. A lot of Cancer Venus’s are super maternal. In fact, they may want a lot of kids and a big family. You guys are very loving and devoted, but sometimes you get too infatuated with people and fall in love with the idea of them. You tend to have rose tinted glasses when it comes to love. You tend to be nostalgic and constantly yearn for the past, so it’s hard for you to move on from people. You never let go of people/situations because you try to see the good in everyone. This placement screams “ride or die”, you are very protective over the people you love. Often in friendships you might be described as the “mom friend”.

Saturn in the 4th: Saturn represents karma, restrictions, responsibilities. Saturn in this house indicates a strong feeling of obligation and devotion to your family and home life. You may have had a strict upbringing, and you may have had to grow up faster than kids your age. The impact of Saturn in the fourth house might offer obstacles and lessons linked to your family relationships and sense of belonging. You may have felt the need to prove yourself or live up to particular expectations from your family. This placement can sometimes make you the 'black sheep' of the family. The good thing is everyone gets their Saturn return at the age of 29, so whatever area of life you’re struggling in, it’ll ease up by then.

Jupiter in the 5th: Jupiter is the planet of luck and abundance. Jupiter in this house promotes self-expression and creativity. The placement is associated with a natural gift for the arts, such as music, literature, painting, or acting. You can have an optimistic attitude towards life, which attracts opportunities and great experiences. This placement may signify that you have a lighthearted approach to love. Jupiter in the fifth house is frequently associated with a love of children and a natural ability to connect with them. You may like spending time with children.

Pisces mars in the 12th: the 12h rules endings, closure, the subconscious, what’s hidden, karma, enemies, spirituality. With Mars in this house, you may be prone to nightmares or vivid dreams. You may feel the need to retreat and spend time in solitude in order to recharge. The 12h house relates to spirituality, so you may feel sensitive regarding your own emotions. This placement can indicate hidden enemies as Mars represents conflict and the twelfth house is the house of what is hidden. Pisces gives you a vivid imagination and a lot of empathy. This placement can make you passive so you won’t directly be aggressive in your approach. You may be very spiritual with this placement. You may use your gut feelings to make a decision.

Since you clarified you’re an Aries rising, all your houses are lined up exactly where they need to be since Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. Example: your sun, mercury and Jupiter are all in the 5th house because Leo is ruled by the 5th. Your Cancer Venus/moon is in the 4th house because Cancer rules the 4th house. So you have a 5th house stellium, Leo stellium, and Cancer stellium. 5th house stellium is really cute, means you’re full of energy and adventure. Aries rising is also one of the most rarest rising signs so kudos to you!

[rogdona]

Look man- just wanna say your art is literally gorgeous bro- It's very catchy and cool- but uh- that aside- I hope ya don't mind the question- but would ya mind giving some few tips on how to draw anatomy and how you color? because your art is so pleasing to look at- like bruh it's so pretty-

first of all THANK UUUUU!!!! im sososos happy u like my art!!!!!!!!!💕🌺🌷💕🌺🌷💕🌺🌷❤️♥️💕🌺🌷💕♥️❤️🌹🌹❤️♥️🌺💕!!!!!

i dont mind the question at all!! ill give u some tips on how i draw!!

BTW! these are just some tips ab what i do to draw the way i do, this is not an universal rule let alone mandatory!!

NOW ONTO THE STUFF U CAME FOR! under a read more so i dont clog ur dash bc i got kinda tecnical w some of it..! IT GOT WAY TOO LONG IM SORRY!!!

lets start with color then!! 🎨

i always see ppl saying that color theory is rlly hard and they never understand it, and tbh u dont need to learn it in depth at all!!

to make colors look good you need to think them as a group instead of choosing them individually...

though what i do is different, theres a post going around that says tinting all the colors w one brings the drawing together, and it does!! its a p good tip if u dont want to eyeball it like i do!!

but heres my process; lets say u have a sketch and an idea of what colors you want; your character is in a forest walking through the trees! what i do is choose background color and start from there

if you chose a cool color, when you start painting the rest of the picture drag the hue a little closer to blue or purple! if you chose a warm one, closer to yellow or red! if you want your drawing to have a greenish tint drag it closer to green or yellow! you get the gist of it, bring the colors closer! if theyre on opposite sides of the wheel it might be difficult, but usually bringing them closer to gray does a good job!!

also unless youre trying to get contrast on purpose, choosing colors w similar saturation(intensity!) helps unify the drawing!

say you want a drawing that is mostly grayish tones, make sure all your colors are desaturated (less intense, pigmented)

-

now say you have an existing character w a set color palette (we'll take my character elias as an example) and want to draw him in green and yellow or bright magenta and blue

i saw this explanation on a tiktok long ago but i literally cannot word it better and found it real useful

to translate the colors properly u need to think them on a scale, which ones are the darkest, lightest, and where does the rest sit?? Once you have that you can make ur own scale w the colors you want to use, and as long as the difference between the colors stay mostly the same u will be able to translate them p much to whatever!!

my drawing was done quickly so its not the best example but u get me

i think thats it for color now, but if i think of something else ill add it and tell u!!

now onto anatomy 🧍🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️

and ill be honest w u here, i have no clue how i learned anatomy, let alone how to teach u but ill try my best here!!

and tbh, learning every bone, muscle, etc is smth rlly tedious to me so i cannot assist u there bc i dont know

ALSOO references are ur best buddy, use them!! even if its not the exact pose or angle ur wanting to draw it can help u visualize what u want and tell u what goes where!!

even if its not for the pose or angle, a skeleton can help u see how the body part works!! i look at animal skeleton legs all the time to help me draw my ocs!!!

but yeah!! i think anatomy is smth that u shouldnt take very seriously bc most of what gives personality to characters is exageration!! or made up parts!!

but like, if u want to know my way of drawing smth specific u can tell me!! i have no problem showing u how i do things!!

but since i wasnt very helpful when it comes to anatomy, im taking the liberty of adding an extra bullet point to the post

composition!! 🌇🌃🌆🏙️

composition is the way you show the image, how you place things in your drawing!!

in school they make us take audio-visual production classes, which truly isnt as interesting as it sounds but they taught us some p cool photography tips that also apply to drawings!!

one of them is the rule of thirds! basically, you divide the canvas in 9 equal parts, and the places where the lines join are the places where the eyes are most drawn to!! heres an example i found on the internet

so if you place something on those spots it will get the attention, bc the brain is used to the focus being on the center so taking it out of there makes u want to look why (or at least thats the explanation they gave me!)

also, to draw even more attention to those spots u can make a visual path that leads there!! here some crude examples by yours truly

the first one traces a path up to his head, the second one all start from there outwards

they also gave us tips for cropping images though these dont rlly matter that much, but like for example it looks better if u dont crop it at the joints, and if a character is looking somewhere you should leave some space in the direction they are looking to! heres some doodles to show u what i mean

i used to have a document full of things like that for photography but i cant find it rn, if i do ill tell u!!

moving onto the final thing, this is not quite a composition thing but rather something to give characters more personality: make them interact w their enviroment!

rather than standing looking at the camera make them use, touch, see whats around them, even if u draw them in a blank space the way they take it up shows u a lot ab them

for ex, if theres a wall they can lean on it, if theres a window they can be looking through it(maybe u can see them from the outside! framing inside framing was also smth that they taught us in that class!) if theyre standing they can be fixing their sleeves, holding their hands behind their back, tucking a strand of hair behind their ear, scratching their neck, etc!

AND YEAH!! thats what i keep in thought when i draw!! i hope u find it at least a little useful or interesting ahdhjska ill admit i got a little carried away but i love drawing and these are topics that interest me

ty for the ask!!! 💕 👋

[kingofdorkville]

to ur question last year, transandrophobia specifically is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny and how it affects transmascs BUT it can also be the direct transphobia that is specific to transmascs. (some people use it interchangeably with transmisogyny but as a transmasc)

as for debate, because of the definition of the term a lot of people think “well misandry isn’t real!” and that transandrophobia = misandry against transmascs and since misandry isn’t real, transmisandry / transandrophobia isn’t either.

some people also argue that transandrophobia “believers” (don’t want to use truthers as it is antisemitic) think that creating a term for transmascs instead of using transmisogyny is in itself transmisogynistic (i can’t give an explanation as for why bc i don’t understand but im not saying it is or isn’t a valid take)

a lot of people also feel that people who talk about transandrophobia ARE transmisogynists, not because of transandrophobia but because their talking points are just genuinely transmisogynistic. some of this comes from people believing TERF bait in the tag, but also i won’t argue that some transmascs in the tag and everywhere else are transmisogynistic and create unsafe spaces esp for transfems

i hope i explained this okay and im not going on anon in case u have any questions about anything!! sorry i know people already answered but i thought a more in depth answer would explain a bit more. i can also provide some resources for people who are for or against transandrophobia if you’re interested in either side :3

thanks.

tbh i didn't expect this discussion to continue into the new year but i appreciate you covering both sides for me.

[greetings-humans]

introductory post (includes some interaction boundaries, more details on me (ao3 acc, etc) & a dni under the cut)

yeah it's about time I made one of those ig (disclaimer: I'll edit this, if/when the need comes)

hello there! im deelay! you can call me dee, if you want! gender is so weird tbh but please use she/they for me!

for details on what to use when talking to me or about me (like pronouns and gendered terms etc) you can go here

-im a young adult and that's like all imma say age-wise. however please take that into account when interacting with my blog! some of the reblogs/posts here might not be what I'd have been okay with seeing when I was like under 14 or something. so yknow. exercise some modicum of caution please.

-currently in uni, studying to get an english degree (every new thing I learn about teaching makes me want to yell at some of the teachers I've known/had, did they even study in uni? did they even keep in touch with pedagogical studies?? definitely not, from what I can tell)

-I'm technically a writer? like I write,,, supposedly lmao. like all the greats, the one thing I never seem to do is yknow write-

I write sometimes, let's say. and I'm also really interested in writing my own crime fiction novel one day. but that's for some day in the future lmao

-definitely a reader tho (yes ao3 and i are in a committed relationship)

-im also very very aroace, so like, blanket disclaimer, even if you might think I'm thirsting over a character, im really not and it makes me uncomfortable when others think so (and tell me that) so yeah lol

~

my interests and fandoms are. a lot. for example (and in no particular order):

DC (the bats, mostly): dick grayson is so interesting you guys, (as of Jan 2025) im finally properly getting into comics!!

the magnus archives: my first podcast! as of June 2025, I'm in s4 and doing my best to keep going! tbh all I want is to relisten to really see how much everyone (esp, jon) has changed in the span of 4 seasons🥺🥺 mind your spoilers, I don't always tag! and if you're in s1 frankly just persevere until halfway through s1 or s2 at least before interacting, there's a lot of spoilers for the setting going around because the actual explanation doesn't come until quite later even if u kinda figure some things out on your own

windbreaker (satoru nii): i recently caught up with the manga and fuck it's so good. I watch the anime too and just. yeah, talk to me about my children (sakura, kiryu, tsubakino, umemiya, kaji, hiragi, suo) and all of the other children ofc anytime!

fullmetal alchemist brotherhood! (i used to have roy on my pfp, he's my favorite character! i also wanna write a huge character analysis essay on him but uni responsibilities mean that's very slow going). im collecting the hardcover editions of the manga slowly, and i plan on reading the manga properly as i buy them!

star wars (prequels, kotor, clone wars)

yuri on ice is an old love of mine (ice adolescence😭😭 one day😭😭 oh one day😭😭 so that was a fucking joke, mappa count your days and also im stealing viktor you can't have him, im gonna write iceado WITHOUT YOU) (fuck you mappa, I urge all creative yoi fans that think they wanna try doing their own version of iceado to go ahead and give it a go!)

riordanverse (pjo, hoo, magnus chase, a little bit toa, pjo show [which was def better than the movies but needs more screen time to fix up the pacing and add more depth in the appropriate moments])

jujutsu kaisen: lowkey refuse to finish s2 but I know what's happening by the end of it and I've given up on the storyline so spoil away, I'll just ignore you and live my life in my fanfic sandbox :)

criminal minds: (obsession gone dormant, watch me not think about cm for months at an end until like exam season or something) update: finished the first show (all... 16 seasons was it? 16? during January 2025, and I've also seen the first season of evolution! but lowkey I think I'm more likely to start rewatching criminal minds than continue with evolution (as of June 2025)

merlin (bbc): I tend to watch this on and off, tbh. mostly I interact with the fandom, especially the fanfics!

haikyuu!!: I'm all caught up, manga and anime-wise! also patiently waiting for the last (😭) movie that should've been a season but anyways they better not fuck this up too much- (update: battle of the garbage dumpster was wonderful even if they couldn't animate everything... it was just so short. I really hope someone decides to adapt it into a proper season at some point)

bungo stray dogs is also an old but semi-revived and dormant (as of Jan 2025) interest of mine (im a few chapters out of touch with the manga and haven't read the light novels)

there's like. so much more

tian guan ci fu / heaven official's blessing (as of June 2024, I've finished s2 and tgcf is amazing it's wonderful, I've started book 1 and am currently procrastinating on reading it)

911: yeah the live action show that's been a bit of a hit recently? I've finished s5 but I'm kind of too tired of all the drama even though I know queer things are afoot in s8! maybe one day? the fanfics are usually awesome tho!

sooo muuuuch moooreeee

so I'll just let you figure the rest of it out

If you wanna see some of my thoughts without infinite scrolling, you can also search for the tag "deelay words".

Another tag of mine is "deelay's tbr" (which stands for "to be referenced") which you'll find at posts that really make me Think™ and that I want to keep in mind when I do anything creative with the characters involved.

When interacting with my blog, if you want to avoid spoilers at all costs, I suggest blocking the fandom tag because what you consider spoilers might not be what I consider spoilers if we're at different arcs of whatever that media is.

That said, I'd also appreciate it if you gave me a heads up on spoilers in any asks.

~

if you're here for any of my fics then well.

if you're here for pjo, um. those fics are truly discontinued/on indefinite hiatus. that hasn't changed. I watched the show and I'm actually reading pjo fics again from time to time so if I get inspired enough and manage to plan out a decent fic out of Percy Jackson Revealed,,,, then maybe there shall be a fic. But!!! I have no idea what the ending is gonna be, and without an ending I'm doing nothing because the chances of me dropping the fic (again) would be higher than my anxiety during exam season (aka very very high)

if you're here for the man behind neal caffrey tho!! hi, there. I am working on that sequel, don't worry. it's just long (im at like 7k or so iirc? and im not even halfway through yet) and I'm also working on uni and this other writing project I have going on. feel free to send me an ask with any questions or comments or whatever. august 2024 update: this project is very slow going tbh! i think i need to recalibrate some of my plans because it's so tiring to keep writing some of the stuff I've planned for. white collar crime cases are more tedious than expected. im also like on and off working on a double homicide case fic for criminal minds (that I think I'll rework to become an original thing) and it's coming out much more easily😭

a dream too large to bear alone: aka my (restricted-to-ao3-users) ice adolescence-esque fic! it's a mix of pre-canon viktor content and during canon missing scenes and post canon content, all or it mostly viktor-centric, though I'm a huge fan of outsider pov so it's viktor-centric but not always viktor pov! this is not going to be a very linear story as you might guess. the first main narrative follows viktor at 17ish deciding to try to ratify the quad flip and it includes some insight on his friends and family (who are OCs, im not sorry, his backstory is so barren, i had to!) and on how he ended up so alone by the time yoi was happening. the second main narrative is post-yoi viktor coming back to russia ft yuuri, yuri & yakov (and georgi and mila, sorta). [posts about this project will be tagged as "dee's iceado"! ]

also disclaimer!!! this is not a russian gov-positive fic. russian culture is really interesting and yes it's probably not all russians, diversity is a thing, but to be perfectly clear, fuck the russian government and everyone supporting their actions. what they're doing is inhumane.

unnamed grishaverse project: yeah so, I have a project going with my friend noel @fifteenth-entity, we're fixing the darkling! this fic will take place like around 50-100 years pre-alina, and will feature the darkling doing darkling things while that generation's most prominent grisha (aka a bunch of queers) also do things that may or may not affect the darkling. and his views. and personality. there may or may not be character development in the works. (there is, he gets better). this fic is canon divergent before canon even happens. the entire plot of shadow and bone will be eventually reworked. (also, no darklina, no darkling romance, in general, this boy needs to get mentally healthy first and foremost and I'm also writing him as aroace sooo) [for more info on this just search "unnamed grishaverse project", it's the tag I've used in like the only post about this. do feel free to send me an ask about this tho!!]

~

Another thing: If you have a genuine, not malicious or mean-spirited, question, feel free to send me an ask. Keep it chill, though! if you try to pick a fight i will delete the ask for the first time, but on strike 2, you're blocked.

i like to think that I'm open to discourse on some topics but not if you're starting out all aggressively cause if you're aggressive, I will be defensive and we're not gonna get anywhere. Pls try not to be aggressive, or prepare for an aggressive conversation if you are.

so. once again for the people in the back

If you're here to pick a fight with me then gtfo please.

I don't like fighting, it makes me anxious, so save us both the trouble and be as civil as you can be if you have a disagreement with me. don't forget to check my dni tho. I'm not gonna sit around having basic arguments about my rights to queerness as an aroace person or some stupid shit like that.

that said, unless I'm literally at your post saying shit you disagree with. don't come at me. literally block me. it's fine. I quite literally do not mind or care. like, if you saw my post or reblog and decided I suck then just block me will you?

~

Now, if you ever want fic recs for a fandom I'm in, you're definitely welcome to send me an ask! but if you don't feel like talking, anything I will ever tell you is straight from my ao3 bookmarks. sooo, feel free to hunt around those! [in case the link isn't working for you, my ao3 username is Justice_not_Revenge]

ao3 disclaimer: anything before 2021 is not necessarily something I claim. So like don't think I'm into this thing or that I'm passionate about this ship just because in 2019 I bookmarked 100 fics with it, people tend to grow and change so yeah.

some generic DNIs

if you're anti-lgbtq+ in any way (cmon im queer myself this one should be obvious)

racists, ableists, sexists/misogynists, incest shippers, pro-shippers, etc

if you support AI, if you support AI art or AI writings, if you use AI for your main source of information, etc (if you're the type to use other people's OCs in character.ai with no permission, then like go away and don't you dare touch my OCs without talking to me and getting my explicit permission first (which you will never get) I will find you)

acab however don't be surprised to see me interacting with dick grayson cop posts. it's fiction guys, let me be, some of the fictional cops get to be nice as a treat. irl cops are upholding a faulty institution that only helps the rich and powerful and literally would and have upheld corruption, fascism, racism, general bigotry and many more, thanks for coming to my ted talk—

literally anyone who thinks violating someone's concent is nice and fun and quirky

okay that's all! thank youuu-

[kindlyre]

LETSGO

the idea that kokichis intentional misdiagnosis caused him to develop a compulsive lying problem is just- SO SAD AAAUUUHHHHH its so tragic and i love it

also it means a LOT that u didnt give kenzo Abuser Disorder n rather addresses the cyclical nature of abusive family dynamics!!! in my fic, rantaro's grandfather also has aspd, and his dad presumably also has it as well, but hes only one of uhhhh *counts* five characters with aspd in the whole fic that r abusive at all and even so its just like, implied, none of the characters really give a fuck abt it outside of "oh, rantaro's aspd runs in his family"

i did Nawt get an adhd diagnosis till i was an adult but i knew i had it ever since like, the second grade. i was a very smart kid lmfaaaoo 😭 but GOOD LUCK GETTING DISABILITY!!!! im in that crossroads where i WANT disability so bad because i fucking hate working i hate it so much and i keep getting fired bc i backtalk my managers (yaay poor impulse control!!) but also disability payments are a fucking pittance and if i get married i lose them 😭 but who knows maybe once i move more jobs will be there and i can find something i like so it doesnt feel like im slowly dying! tbh in my case i do have some unknown Mystery Crippling that i use a wheelchair for part-time, but then i just... like... improved dramatically? out of nowhere?? my only explanation is danganronpa cured my disability bc it happened literally right when i replayed the games. thanks atua

(also mood!! a good chunk of my soulbonds while spiritual in origin, take traditional system member roles, and my first lil guy was totally unintentional but i later started doing it intentionally and i still find it very fun!! my first was BILL CIPHER talk about god throwing me in the fucking deep end w this mf!!! we were (still are) besties tho. despite the curse.)

QUASTION TIME W LYRE!!! 🔥🔥

so like, the chronic boredom itself is a big symptom people miss, ESPECIALLY how like. the boredom and disconnect from people causes depression which ofc makes substance abuse and addiction problems a lot worse. bc i get bored so easily i have a VERY addictive personality and if i didnt live with someone id be fucked tbh like. i would probably be homeless bc id spend all my money on shopping or ebay bidding or drugs. or all 3. ALSO im adding this here, i have a whole post on it on my other blog, but the WAY the "lack of remorse" symptom works is very misinterperted, i talk abt it in depth on the post!

half n half! the signs i see could mean ANYTHING, but i project. but the signs are that like... lbr... he is WAY too fucking calm about his situation, to the point where its literally the first line of my fic 😭. kaede's line about how it seems like hes done this before is meant to be foreshadowing of his ultimate survivor thing, but like... HE DOESNT REMEMBER THAT!!! this is just his personality, hes just Like That! ive known a bunch of pwaspd and one of the Fun Stereotypes abt us is that we r like, oddly chill w literally whatever. so im like... hmmmm. also his scary sprites like, this boy is just a little bit not normal so im like hmm... wouldnt it be fun if..... and then the rest is history!

grabs the world by the throat. we can have feelings we can have loved ones we can HAVE FEELINGS WE CAN HAVE LOVED ONES!!!!! we can feel remorse too, THATS ONE SYMPTOM OUT OF LIKE EIGHT AND REPRESSING THE FEELING COUNTS!!! also people tend to forget this bc they see aspd as Uniquely Bad, but we have good times and bad times, symptomwise! OH WAIT NO. THE RECOVERY RATES. THATS THE WORST MISCONCEPTION. people think aspd is uncurable when it does in fact tend to taper off in your 50s AND theres like a 27% rate of full remission and a 36% rate of improvement w/o remission (i saw this in two different studies but my dumbass did NOT bookmark them 😭 source(s): trust me bro ALSO EVEN IF these r wrong... how much of that low improvement rate is therapists not knowing how to deal w aspd patients)

also i just realized that the post tragedy danganverse would have a sociopath moral panic kinda like the narc abuse thing nowadays bc of junko Fitting The Profile (i do believe she has aspd like it fitsssssss ngl, hey man they cant all be winners!)

@kindlyre

Okay I'm VERY curious as to what mental illness you're writing Rantaro to have because it seems to be one of those stigmatized ones and I'm v curious???

[teruthecreator]

ALSO before i go to bed lemme kno if any of these ideas entice you and i might start working on them soon >:-)

* = one-shot

** = chap fic