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I think about this a lot...
I just want you all to know, even if you don't see any people in your area with pronoun pins or bright, queer clothing, or with clockable traits, there's a very good chance you're surrounded by queer people who are blending in with the cishets. You're not alone.
Ever since I've started passing, I've had this repeated thought... I'll be in a public place and I'll see someone who's almost definitely queer, and it makes my day, but then I wonder, do they see me? Do they know I'm here? Do they understand that I'm one of them?
To be passing is what a lot of trans people see as the end goal, but, if you're not trying to be stealth but simply not going out of your way to display that you're queer, it can come with a profound sense of sudden exclusion - like you're too passing to count anymore, or like you'll be unrecognizable to your queer siblings
So, for everyone's benefit, I just want to say, remember that there are those of us who don't stand out. Don't assume every person that you don't clock as trans is cis. Don't assume every person that you don't clock as gay is straight. We speak out against cisheteronormativity, but to protect ourselves and remain in the safe bubble of those we expect to be safe for ourselves, we are often times perpetuating it
#i feel like this comes across as a humble brag but i really genuinely don't mean for it to be#this thought has genuinely come to me multiple times and given me a profound sense of queer loneliness#and as someone now seen as a man there's also this abrupt social shift where#i can't just tell a woman her perfume smells nice anymore without it being creepy#i can't compliment a woman's clothes anymore without it coming across as hitting on her#I've been disconnected from not just the publicly obvious queer community but also the community i grew up comfortable relating to#I'm not seen as one of the girls anymore which is good in most regards#but devastating in others#because as a gay guy i feel like there's community there that's hard to access now#i could try to be more flamboyant and obvious but i don't want to force anything that doesn't come naturally to me#and I'm too scared to re-enter that spotlight of queerness by wearing a pin or something#maybe this whole thing is stupid and whiny when I'm just being a coward#maybe i should wear a pin and rejoin the ranks of publicly noticeable queers#i feel like this whole post is just me ignoring a privilege that a lot of people would kill for#but i guess I'll post it anyway#you can join me on my thought journey#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#gay#trans#ftm
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