#i cannot express the affection i have for her without exploding fun fact

[i-donot-forget]

Eldarya Ep 7 (opinion)

Episode 7!!!! They gave us a nice ball, a nice dress and a nice moment with our LI (Discounting some details in the illustrations that I already mentioned before) the episode was very good, it is a clear transition, that little respite before everything goes wrong again.

Eldarya has always been a different otome, because the story does not revolve around the protagonist and her love story, it is about the protagonist saving the fucking world, the moments with our route have always been scarce and interrupted, remember that in TO until episode 17 we have the first date, from then on things go too fast and finally it cannot be said that we really got to know any of our romantic interests, an exception for Valkyon but I think it's obvious why. New Era has a great advantage, we already know these guys (except Mathieu but we have that connection of "hey we are both from earth"), we already know who they are, we already know this world, now falling in love will be "faster" than in a way it's good because we already saw that when Erika realizes that she feels something for someone, she goes after him (I love her for that, I couldn't ahahaha) and so we come to this episode, after the beautiful moment on the boat where we realize that we feel something for that special boy.

But this is Eldarya so...

the damn world is going to end again and Nevra is ready for war, I know it sounds ugly but I find it absolutely correct, if the earth is going to absorb Eldarya... They are lost, I cannot imagine any scenario in which the humans of the earth welcome all of Eldarya with open arms, that is, let's face it, how many countries are there where immigrants are a plague for a certain portion of the population? I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm just saying it's like that and with the Eldaryans it will be worse. People like Huang Hua, Huang Chu, might go unnoticed, but Koori??? Lance???? What will humans think when Chrome is in trouble and can't control himself with Earth's Moon, how are Nevra and Karenn going to live with Earth's Sun that is lethal to them??? I can only think it's going to be a disaster, besides, how does this "absorption" work? Will the portals get bigger and bigger until eldarya disappears? Will everything fall from the sky? because clearly earth will not be the most affected... Humans are dangerous, our history of clash between cultures is always to exterminate the unknown and in this case it will be fatal for both factions but if you ask me, humans are not going to become extinct...

With all of that in mind, I'm not surprised that Lance had his head elsewhere and forgot about his clothes... but hey, it was a funny moment that made me think that we still don't know the real Lance and that attitude is just the same one that Valkyon adopted after Lance's "death"...

The moment of meditation with Leiftan was painful… now I understand many things, and I believe that all his sufferings and the loss of his powers is something mental. All the confidence that Leiftan had in himself resided in his powers, in TO he was at the top, he was the most powerful being in Eldarya and he handled everyone like simple puppets, he was confident, capable of everything, the first time we saw him desperate was after losing half his life (for us), now in NE ufff he tells us, he feels vulnerable, helpless, incomplete, without identity, If everything you were was based on your strength and power, who are you without it? Despite everything, I think it started very well, Leiftan tells us the truth, for the first time he trusts something of the utmost importance in us, the fact that he is now defenseless implies many things, Lance remains on the guard because of his power and abilities which is very useful, the same could apply to Leiftan but without his powers he could believe that the HQ would not want him (although in TO nobody knew he was a daemon). He confides in us a secret that is vital to him, reveals his vulnerability and I must say that I love him too much, when he tells us that he feels exactly the same as we do when we talk to him about our powers, he finally opens up to us and then the hug melted my heart. Now that he no longer has (and cannot) protect us, our relationship will be different.

The ball, I am not surprised that Princess Koori organized a ball, Huang Hua's speech was extremely touching, my heart clenched when she mentioned those who had left, I couldn't help but think of Valkyon... Now is the time to dance and I am fascinated by how Erika takes the reins and invites her LI, here we part.

Mathieu: adorable nothing to say, I love them, his route is pure laughter and games and fun, I really like Mathieu, I did not trust him but their moments together are sooo sweet, we see him as the center of attention, something very about him but naturally, it does not attract attention forcibly, they really are standing out for what they are, everything is very nice, a great dance, I think that at the point where they left the scene, I would believe in a kiss, not passionate or anything but a first kiss all cute, nervous and natural.

Nevra: I love that he's waiting for us, I think they already act like boyfriend and girlfriend without wanting to say it hahahaha and I love him, Nevra want us and loves us, he doesn't say it but he shows it only with his actions, I still feel like he's going to scare at the key moment, I feel that he keeps many things that explode in that uncompromising anger, I wait for a very intimate moment between them that makes me cry I want to see him cry, I know he needs it, I know he needs Erika to hug him and tell him that everything it will be fine, he needs someone to be the strong one.

Lance: the moment is very nice I cannot deny it, it is beautiful, Lance's reaction to Erika's invitation is great and again I love her determination, it struck me that Lance does know how to dance, but an old-fashioned dance, that just means that In his previous time in the guard of eel he did dance, I always imagined him as the popular cool boy that everyone follows, I'm still waiting to see that, I already want to break that shell and get the real Lance out.

Leiftan: Ahhhh my beautiful baby I leave him at the end because it is my route and I love him and I can't help but fangirl very hard for him. Erika dragging him to the dance floor imitating Karenn, I loved it, Erika helping Leiftan with his confidence and security, I super loved it, the inevitable attraction between them that is so strong that the moment screams that they will kiss, I cannot express my emotion, I love him I can't stop loving him and I just want they to be alone to see the damn connection in all its glory 7u7

So I wait for the catastrophe in the next episode, I still don't know if it will be a portal opening in the middle of the crystal room or if it will be the crystal itself that does something idk, surprise me beemoov

[crazyyanderefangirlfan]

Bring on the Mania Pt 7

"I can't believe you're a designer."

"I can't believe you've been living under a rock."

After their encounter with Vil and Rook, the pair made their way back to Ramshackle. But not without Amane playfully scolding the girl.

The girl flushed at his response. "W-Well, I don't really watch fashion shows or anything related to it. But after coming here, I do now." She confessed.

He quirked a brow. "Only now?"

"Well, yeah." She said, re-adjusting the crate on her arms.

"I don't really pay attention or follow the trends, too much of a hassle. But, I am beginning to watch them after meeting Vil. Just want to support him, even if I can't understand everything."

Amane blinked at her answer, felt the corners of his mouth twitch to a smile. Despite admitting her lack of knowledge of the subject, she still made an effort to understand it for his sake. She's so sweet.

Though; that begs the question...

"So, you don't have a preferred style?" He asked.

"Not really. I just wear what makes me feel comfortable. My mom doesn't care as long as I'm happy, and my grandparents just remind me to wear shorts under my skirts."

Wow.

What felt like an hour, they finally spotted the gates of Ramshackle. Beyond the gate, Valerie could vaguely make out Gerald's ghostly form watering the flowers he planted last month.

"Hey, Gerald."

Her loud voice made the ghost pause and lookup. Upon recognizing her, Gerald placed the watering can down and flew over to open the gate. When his eyes landed on their items, he smirked.

"Ya, feeding an army, kid." He joked.

"Nah, just a chubby and over-indulgent trash cat." She retorted. The ghost chuckled.

Gerald flew overhead and opened the front door. He even offered to carry the two other bags for Amane, but the demon declined, saying it was good exercise. The ghost went back to watering.

When they entered Ramshackle, they found Grim on the couch. Taking a nap with an empty tuna can next to him. When they entered the kitchen, they found Lisha picking on some stray beetles on the counter. When the little strix noticed them, she grabbed a piece of paper next to her and flew over to Valerie. Dangling it for her to read. What it said made her bit her bottom lip.

Crowley may be the closest thing she had for a father, but sometimes she wants to shove a transformation down his throat. Turning him into a real crow, and breaking a wing, so Grim can hunt better,

She shook her head from those morbid thoughts, not the time.

"Sorry, Amane, but I have to do something. I'll come back as soon as I can to help you." She said, putting the crate down.

"Oh? What happened?" He inquired, placing the bags on the counter. She sighed.

"Crowley asked me to clean his office; while he has something to attend to."

"The fuck? Why would he do that?" Above all things crow shit makes her do...

"It's okay. In fact, I was first a handywoman and cleaning lady, along with Grim. But after a certain incident, we became students." She explained, running her fingers through her ponytail.

"Okay, let's go." He announced. The girl sputtered.

"I-I'm sorry, w-what?"

"Let's go to Crow shit's office. I wanted to see more of this school again. It's been ages." He answered, taking her hand and leading her to the door.

"W-Wait! Amane, I have frozens!"

"Don't worry, we'll handle it." As if on cue, Bennett and Wilbur floated down and began arranging.

"Well, you heard your ghostly guardians. Let's go!"

"Alright, I'll be quick, don't cause any trouble." The opal-eyed girl begged. Standing in front of the office.

"No promises, Sugar tits." The hetero-eyed male winked playfully. The brunette rolled her eyes and went inside.

With the two monsters back in Ramshackle, the demon was alone. Free to flirt with any one of these gorgeous boys without Lisha clawing his eyes out; or having her turned into her original form and trying to eat him.

He smirked.

"Get ready boys, this demon is on a hunt."

For the past hour, Amane happily flirted with several students; some even try to give him their numbers or ask for his. But he turned them down, he may love good-looking guys, but he ain't touching that.

"Oh baby, maybe if you and your dick grow a few inches, then I'll see." The incubi playfully boop a pouting student's nose before happily running away.

He turned to the corner to catch his breath, but the grin never left his face. This was too much fun!

In the corner of his eye, he found something glinting under the sun. Curious, he walked over. It was a blue tablet; it looked like it was charging. Intrigued, he pressed the power button. What he didn't expect was a voice on the other end.

"W-What a-are y-you d-doing?"

Idia felt the world finally turned against him. First, he forgot to charge his tablet last night, making him replenish it in solar mode. Next, he missed a rare event that won't come back in six months. To top it all off. A normie found his tablet.

Joy.

"Oh fuck, it talks." The person on the other side of the screen said in surprise.

'Ugh, go away. Talking to people like you drains all my health.'

"Hon, if you don't reply. I'm just gonna grab this thing and drop it somewhere-"

"No!"

Idia could feel their smirk from the screen. He wants a restart.

"The name's Amane Mania, you?"

The flame-haired male wanted to deny but decided he should if he tried anything.

"I-Idia S-S-Shroud."

"Idia, huh? What dorm are you from?" Amane questioned.

"I-Ignihyde." Idia could feel a severe drain of his energy.

"Ah, Ignihyde. A bunch of shut-ins, but high in sex drive." Amane sighed blissfully.

"What!?" The man barked in laughter.

"When I was still here, I had an occasional fuck with guys. What they lack in skill, they make up for enthusiasm."

There was silence from Amane's end; before purring his following sentence.

"Let's test that with you~" Idia's hair flared up. But, he didn't stop.

"Would you like me to call you daddy or master?"

Great seven's he cannot handle this. Please, Lord of the underworld, save him.

Fortunately, his prayer was answered.

"Excuse me!"

Startled by the loud voice, the incubus turned around and faced a...Kid?

Huh?

"That's my brother's tablet. May I have it back, please?" Innocent amber eyes stared at him.

"Umm, sure. Give me a moment." Though still confused on why a child was here, he was not going without the last word.

He whispered to the tablet, making sure the kid didn't hear him.

"Until next time, Dom switch."

Amane could have sworn something exploded on the other end, but he paid no mind. Instead, he gave the tablet to the young cyborg.

"Here ya go, Kid."

The child beamed. "Thank you!" Then zoomed off.

_______________________________________________

"Anything interesting happened when I was gone?" Valerie asked.

Just as she said, the girl didn't take too long and now walking back to Ramshackle.

"Well." He began his retelling his meeting Idia and a short cyborg.

"Oh, that's Ortho. He and Idia are considered one student. Like, me and Grim."

"Except, the little guy had a better personality than the gremlin." Amane retorted, earning a playful slap on the shoulder.

"Hey! Cut Grim some slack. Yes, he can be too much sometimes, but he has his moments." She defended. Amane just pulled her hood to her face.

"My~ Is this the infamous Amane I've been hearing so much about?"

"Fucking crack whore hell!"

The suddenness of the interruption causes the incubus to cling to the girl like a frightened cat.

Hanging upside down in mid-air was Diasomnia's playful vice-dorm leader, Lilia Vanrouge. The vampire had an amused smile on his face when he perceived Amane's shocked expression.

"Fufufufu, forgive my sudden appearance. I was merely interested to know the demon who cooked that delectable food Sebek brought."

The shock quickly wore off his body, replacing it with a familiar smugness Valerie knew.

"So, my cooking became legendary already? I'm flattered." The incubus fluffed up his hair and shot Lillia a sensual look. The ex-soldier chuckled.

"I believe we haven't been properly acquainted." Lilia landed in front of them, took Amane's hand, and kissed his knuckles. Flustering the demon and surprising the girl.

"My name is Lilia Vanrouge, a pleasure to meet you." His eyes were half-lidded, his smile fanged and filled with flirtatious mischief. For the first time Valerie has met him, Amane was blushing.

"Amane?" She called out hesitantly.

That seemed to snap him out of it; the poor man tried to laugh it off.

"Well, aren't you a gentleman? But I welcome change of pace." Amane smirked.

"Lilia!"

Recognizing the voice. The young brunette peered behind the senior. Jogging his way over was Silver.

"Finally found you, old man." The young knight huffed, relieved that his search is over.

"Good morning, Silver!" The girl beamed up at him.

The aurora-eyed male smiled softly in her direction; he took her hand and placed a lingering kiss.

"Good morning to you too, Valerie."

Lilia let out a small gasp as if realizing something.

"Oh, Dove. I forgot to greet you as well. Let me fix that."

Coming near her face, he gave her cheek a sweet kiss. The girl smiled, especially feeling the strands of his hair on her face.

"Lilia, your hair is on my face." She giggled.

Standing on the side, Amane could only freeze and stare with wide eyes and raised brows. A man was kissing her cheek, which lasted longer than necessary, and not even the slightest bit affected.

Just how dense is she?

"Okay, old man. That's enough."

Silver forcefully removed the shorter male off the girl. Jealousy bubbled in the pit of his stomach. But he tried his best to ignore it.

Lilia pouted. "Your no fun, Silver."

"Remember why we needed to find Valerie, and it's not just to thank Amane for the food." The silver-haired male sternly reminded.

"Yes, yes, I know." Lilia waved him off. Reaching to his coat pocket, he drew a small velvet pouch with a yellow rope. The sound of coins jingling can be heard within it.

Valerie groaned.

"You two know how I feel about this." She complained, rubbing her temples.

"I know, Valerie. But please, accept it just this once." Silver coaxed the girl, giving her a reassuring smile. However, she shook her head.

"Tell him, I appreciate that he's trying to help me. But like all the other times, my answer will still be no." The vampiric fae sighed at her declaration.

"You are absolutely stubborn, Dove." He said, pocketing the pouch.

"But then again. It is one of your charming points." The raspberry-eyed male flashed her a fanged smile.

"We'll be going now. We at least completed one thing needed. Though once we inform him that you refused again..."

"I'll deal with him once he comes to Ramshackle." She can already picture his pouting face in her mind.

Lilia nodded and gestured Silver to follow, giving the girl one last kiss on the cheek (Lilia) and hand (Silver). They walked away.

"Hold on." Amane broke in. "Someone wanted to be your sugar daddy?"

"My, what?"

A hoard of bats attacked the poor demon.

_______________________________________________

"H-Hey! Be gentle." Amane hissed as the cotton swab touched his face.

It took a while to get the bats off him. Thankfully, they left on their own accord, and an injured Amane too. Bite marks littered across his body, more so on his body; the skin on his arms was punctured and bleeding. Some even left small scars on his legs and stomach.

The midnight-haired male never felt so relieved for the girl's abnormal strength, carrying him bridal style and dashing all the way to Ramshackle. Without breaking a sweat or looking remotely tired.

Currently, the man was having his face nursed by Wilbur. His arms, legs, and stomach were neatly wrapped in bandages. Meanwhile, the girl was in the kitchen preparing lunch.

"I am being gentle. You keep fidgeting." The ghost remarked, dabbing Amane's face.

"What did you even do?" Grim chimed in.

On the coffee table, Grim and Lisha were waiting for his answer. Concern shone in the little Strix's eyes while Grim looked bored.

"I...Might have said something wrong." He confessed.

"Not surprising." The feline snorted.

"Hey-Ouch!"

"I told you to stay still." Wilbur chided.

"I dearly hope you won't influence Valerie too much."

Speaking of which.

"Hey, Grim. I need to ask ya something." Amane gritted his teeth, feeling another sting of pain on his face.

"Oh? So you require my wisdom? The great Grim will happily provide, what is it?" A smirk formed on the monster's face. Lisha rolled her eyes at his cockiness, and Wilbur chuckled under his breath.

"Where does Valerie get her money? I know Crow shit gives her allowance, but I'm not convinced."

"Mmm? that's it?" Amane nodded. "Alright, I'll tell ya."

"Yeah, bird brain gives her money. But we do random jobs to earn extra; she even works part-time in the Monstro Lounge sometimes." Grim explained.

Amane carefully regarded this new information and came to one conclusion.

"So, in other words. Valerie is deadass close to being broke."

"Pretty much."

Amane grimaced. This girl seriously needs help.

Loud knocking brought their conversation to a halt. Amane tilted his head, brows furrowed. Please don't tell him it's crow shit.

"I'll get it!" Bennet's voice rang through the air. There was a thick wave of silence; before a sound of footsteps and Bennet's uneasy voice were coming to the lounge.

"H-Hey, now wait for a second"

"Where is the child of man?" A deep voice interrupted the ghost.

Entering the lounge was a tall male with black hair, lime green eyes, and horns on his head. Behind him was Bennet, who shifted his eyes to Amane.

Lime green eyes fell to the demon, raising a brow.

"And who might you be?"

Amane had to seal his mouth shut to keep himself from drooling. This male before him is positively gorgeous! Tall, dark, and cool air of mystery, piercing green eyes stared into his very being, made him chew his inner cheek. Damn, he wanted to see those in the bedroom, and judging by his size, he has to be packing under his pants.

"The name's Amane Mania. I'm pretty famous here for my notorious good looks."

The demon flashed him a flirtatious smirk but cringed when he felt something stick to his face. Weakly glaring at Wilbur, who held a pack of band-aids. The ghost gave him a warning glare, but Amane stuck his tongue out at him.

"Ah." Realization dawned on the tall male.

"The demon currently living with the child of man and the one who cooked that exquisite meal."

"Damn straight. Now, I would like to know your name, handsome."

Everyone, save for Lisha, stared at Amane like he actually said, something prude.

"A-Amane." Wilbur stammered.

"You...Don't know who he is?" Bennet questioned, just as stunned. Amane shook his head.

"Even you, Lisha!?" Grim shouted in surprise. The little strix shrugged her wings, just as confused as the incubus.

"Interesting." Mused the ebony-haired male.

"Oh! Malleus, you're here."

The lime-eyed male, Malleus, straightened his posture when he heard her voice. Valerie peeked through the door with messed-up hair.

"Child of man, may I have a word with you?" He inquired.

The tone of his voice made the girl fidget in place. His stare prompted her to clutch her apron.

Looks like he's upset with her rejection.

"Fine, but let talk outside." She answered. She took off her apron and gave it to Bennett. She followed the tall male out, leaving the rest of the inhabitants to process what they witness.

The pair walked a safe distance away from the dorm; and sat on a bench underneath a tree large enough to shade them.

"Why did you reject my gifts? You need the money, correct? So, why?"

As soon as they sat down, the fae prince wasted no time questioning her. Confusion and hurt shone in his eyes, completed with a pout.

Valerie sighed.

"Malleus." She began. "I know you want to help me, and I'm grateful for it. But please understand, you giving me money so freely? It makes me...Um, well." She paused to find the right words.

"I feel like I'm leeching off you-"

"You're not." He firmly objected. Taking hold of her hands. Eyeing down at her in all seriousness.

"Even so, accepting money; I didn't earn leaves a bitter taste in my mouth."

Silence befell the two students. Malleus seemed to contemplate on her words, rubbing the back of her hand in small circles. After a few tense seconds, he sighed in defeat.

"Very well." He conceded, reluctantly pulling her hands away.

"However. If I ever find you struggling even more as it is, please don't refuse what I give you."

His tone made it clear that he was not giving her a choice, but there was a tinge of desperation.

"Okay, fine." The fae smiled in relief.

"Although. If you want to properly earn the money I give you, you can always come and cook for Diasomnia. I cannot count how many times Sebek has eaten Lilia's cooking for my sake."

The smile faded from his face to a tired frown upon remembering the times Lilia made those horrendous concoctions and insisting for the entire dorm to try. Out of everyone, Sebek suffered the most.

That earned a sympathetic smile from her. "I'll think about it."

She stood up, re-arranged her hair into a neat ponytail again, and faced him.

"Would you like to join me for lunch, Tsunotaro?" Her smile radiated warmth like a fireplace.

Ah, that nickname such fond memories. Enough to muster a small smile and a response.

"I would be delighted."

_______________________________________________

"So...He's a prince."

"Yes."

"And one of the top five powerful wizards."

"Yes. I'm surprised you didn't know about this."

"Eh, not into that sort of stuff."

Meanwhile, the residents of Ramshackle were busily explaining who Malleus was to the two ignorant demons.

"You could at least know he was royalty. Doesn't your family branch over Twisted Wonderland?" Gerald asked. He got back from the kitchen, and here he was.

"I honestly have no fucking interest that shit." Amane's heated reply stunned the ghosts. This is the first time they saw him this angry.

Those who had witnessed it reacted in their own way. Lisha had an understanding look in her eyes. Grim, however, yelped in fear and accidentally shot a fireball at him. Who immediately dodged.

"Gah!"

"Grim!"

"What the fuck, you little shit!"

"Screee!"

"You were about to go on demon mode!" Grim argued, swatting the flames with his tail.

"No, I wasn't!" Amane protested. He grabbed the bowl of water Wilbur used to clean his face and splashed it on the burning couch. It worked, but now they were left with a charred piece of furniture.

"Oh, boy." Gerald muttered under his breath; as he scanned the mess.

Valerie won't be happy with this.

"I'm back!" Speak of the devil.

"I hope you won't mind that Malleus will join-" Valerie blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Yeah, this is real.

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply; before letting it all out.

"Alright." She finally said. Opening her eyes, she surveyed their tenses expressions.

"Grim, what did you do?"

"Why me!?" The monster complained.

"You're the only one who does fire magic." She deadpanned.

"I thought he was going on demon mode, that's why." The cat explained, pointing an accusatory paw at the incubus.

"No, I wasn't, ya little shit!" The midnight-haired male furiously retorted.

"You were!"

"Why I oughta-"

"Okay! That's enough." Valerie interrupted, stepping between the demon and monster. Both looked more than eager to fight.

"Since this is clearly an accident, and Grim just went on instinct. So Grim, please apologize to Amane." She calmly instructed the monster, who looked offended.

"What? Why should I-"

"Do it, or I'll make you go on an all broccoli and spinach diet for two weeks." Her smiling face did not match the threatening tone in her voice.

If Grim was human, he would have paled at the thought only to eat those for two weeks straight.

"Sorry, Amane." The monster mumbled, but it was audible enough to hear. Valerie smiled at her accomplishment.

She turned to face everyone and clapped her hands.

"So...Ready to eat?"

Lunch had been thankfully more tamed. Even Grim didn't give his (loud) compliments on her cooking. Looks like her threat left him silent. She did well on lunch.

Kung pao shrimp, roasted salmon with green beans, and tomatoes. A chicken and radish salad, followed by pink lemonade.

"You're an excellent cook, Valerie." Malleus complimented. Taking another bite of his salmon.

"Thank you." Valerie smiled.

"Yeah, not bad. You're almost better than me. Almost." Amane emphasized the last part with a teasing grin. To which the girl rolled her eyes.

After lunch Amane's phone went off, taking it to the lounge with Lisha on top of his head. Leaving Grim and Valerie to do the dishes, Malleus decided to stay and talk to his favorite human more.

Once that was done, she scooped Grim onto her arms, walking out the kitchen with the fae prince in tow. Making their way to the lounge, they paused when they heard Amane's voice. There was slight aggravation in his voice.

"I see. In that case, please forward it to my assistant."

Valerie peered from the entrance. The man sat on the couch, running his fingers through his hair. He finally turned his head, nearly jumping out of his skin when he saw her head.

"Lover of cow tiddies!- Don't do that!" He cursed. Amane slumped on the burned couch, mentally drained from the call.

"Is something troubling you, Mania?" The fae prince questioned. Taking a seat on a nearby chair, and the girl sat next to the demon.

"Nothing to sweat about. But it looks like I have to cut my time short." The incubus confessed, tiredly rubbing his face. Lisha rub his cheek in comfort.

"Huh, why?" Valerie's face wrinkled in concern. But the demon chose to ignore what she said.

Amane got up and dragged his feet out of the room. Disregarding the concern or curious gazes of the others.

The girl wordlessly watched the man walked out. As much as she wanted to help him, she knew it wasn't her business and might anger him.

"You care for him quite a lot." A deep voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

Malleus has been observing her reactions ever since they came back to the dorm. Safe to say, he was a bit jealous of the demon. The fae prince had been vying for her attention since the VDC. Even more when she saved him from his overblot.

The girl rubbed her arms. "Y-Yeah, he opened his heart towards me the last time he stayed here. So I have to be worried for him."

The lime-eyed male stayed silent.

"You didn't forget anything, right?"

"Nope, and don't worry about cleaning the room. I already did that."

The pair stood in front of the entrance door. Amane carried a small bag filled with the items be brought and bought. In the background was Malleus, who was holding Grim at the moment. Lisha was on top of the incubus' head.

"Really? How sweet." Valerie gave him a small smile. Appreciating the gesture.

"You suffered enough bullshit from this school. It the least I could do." The hetero-eyed male playfully pinched her cheek, earning a whine from her. Making him snicker.

"See ya next time, Sugar tits, and you too ya, fat gremlin."

"Quit calling me that!" The monster fumed. Long and slender fingers scratched under his chin, causing him to purr in content. Malleus let out a mirthful chuckle at the action.

Retrieving his hand, Amane gave the girl a mock salute and stepped.

_______________________________________________

Valerie hummed as she fixed her hair into her signature style, albeit replacing her pink ribbon with a black one.

It was getting dark, which meant it was time for her shift in the Monstro Lounge. Malleus left hours ago after watching some historical movie, knowing fully well Sebek and Silver would go out and bring him back to the dorm. Meanwhile, her little monster was sleeping peacefully on her bed.

Valerie checked herself on the mirror for the final time. She was currently wearing a female version of octavinelle's dorm uniform. Except, she replaced it with a black mini pencil skirt, lavender stockings with garters, and black kitten heels.

Once she deemed herself presentable, she grabbed her phone from the bed to check the time. However, when she opened it, there was a text. Her eye twitched when she noticed it was from the headmaster.

"Please don't let this be another errand." The poor girl prayed before reading it.

'Ms. Kemonohito, I'm happy to inform you that all your student debts have been by none other than Mr. Mania. He will also pay for your schooling and accommodations from now on. Ahh, it brings my heart such joy that Night Raven alumni can be as kind as their headmaster.'

Valerie had to re-read the text five times to make sure her eyes weren't playing tricks. She stood there, frozen in shock.

Just why?

A loud knocking brought her out of her dilemma.

"Come in."

Opening the door was Gerald, who held a folded piece of paper.

"I accidentally phased in Amane's room and found this on the bed. It had your name on it." The ghost informed before heading out.

Valerie eyed the piece of paper in her hands; it felt hard. Carefully unfolding it, she let out a small gasp.

Credit cards. Amane's credit cards, there were about five of them in her hands. Quickly, she read the note, desperate for an explanation.

'Hey, Sugar tits.

I hope ya like the gift I left ya. I know what you're thinking, 'I can't accept this!' But I really want you to have it, you deserved it. You've been thrown into an unknown world; and placed in the care of an arguably competent man. Which I know by experience can be utterly useless in some situations.

I also took the liberty of paying for your academics and housing of that dorm of yours too. Don't worry about paying back; it's alright, really. You worked your ass since you got here. You are tired, I can see it. Lorelei is good at hiding it too.

Also; If you are worried about earning money, I think I can arrange something, but it's a surprise.'

-Love your new reliable (and gorgeous) guardian, Amane.

A smile threatened to form her face when she finished reading it. This man, whom she known for a short while, was going above and beyond to help her. This feels like those found family tropes in media.

As thoughtful as it was, Valerie recalled a certain fae making a similar promise, and it made her stomach churned. She wasn't sure how to break the news to him. She already made him upset with her rejection, and she raised his hopes up with her promise.

The opal-eyed girl just hopes he'll take it well.

Taking a deep breath, she texted Azul that she's unable to work tonight due to feeling unwell and needed time to rest. Once she has his confirmation, Valerie flopped on her bed.

"Oi! Henchwoman! What the heck and aren't you supposed to go to work!?"

Grim growled, obviously not happy from being woken up.

The girl simply just pulled her little monster close; and buried her face on Grim's fur.

"Not tonight. Actually, I'm going to tell Azul I won't be working in the Monstro Lounge anymore unless he needs a favor." Her reply was kinda muffled. But audible. This confused them.

"Eh? Really? Then where will you get the money?" The cat monster implored. The girl merely raised her head and smiled at him.

"Let's just say; we got a certain weirdo taking care of us now."

Bonus:

"..."

"..."

"U-Uhhh, Malleus?"

"..."

"Listen, I really value your generosity and concern for me. Trust me, I was just surprised. Please believe me-"

"I do."

"Really!? Your not mad?"

"I am disappointed that I won't be able to help you, but I am thankful to him and his ability to provide for you."

"I'm not."

"No need to be jealous, Azul."

"Be quiet, Jade."

A/N: Finally done with this chapter! Sorry for the long wait, I know this long over due but I hope you like it.

[1358456]

Short Story - A New Ruby

For fun!

Route 101, Hoenn…

Sapphire unlocked the door to her secret base in the cave and entered, with Emerald following with a rather bored expression. Immediately, they spotted Ruby sitting in front of the computer, occasionally nodding in approval.

“Hey Ruby, what are you doing?” Sapphire asked as she walked over.

“Oh hey, great timing,” Ruby said with a smile, looking up at her. “I have something I want to show you and get your feedback.”

“Not another dress, is it?” Sapphire asked with narrowed eyes.

“… Not again…” Emerald muttered with a sigh.

“No, no,” Ruby said, wagging a finger. “It’s an online role playing game that Gold found. And contrary to my initial belief, it’s actually really deep and engaging. In fact, quite a few of the other Dex Holders are playing it. So I gave it a whirl, and I’m in the character creation phase. So, take a look. I think I got my own look down really well!”

Sapphire and Emerald walked around the desk to see the computer screen. Ruby moved to the side a bit to avoid covering up the screen and grinned proudly. Sapphire noticed that the character that Ruby had created looked almost exactly like him, even down to the clothing style! He must’ve spent a ton of time, tinkering with the tiniest of details.

“Wow, that really does look like you,” she commented after a short, low whistle. “You must’ve spent an ass-load of time staring at a mirror.”

“… Don’t like the implication there,” Ruby said, tilting his head a bit. “But anyways, now once I finalize the character creation, I can jump into the game playing as myself, going on a hell of an adventure, but without the risk of physically dying or getting crushed by some super ancient Pokémon.”

“Who else is playing?” Emerald asked, as a sudden thought occurred.

“Gold, Red, Blue, and Y right now. Though apparently, Platinum and White are currently over at Y’s place along with X, so they’re also technically involved,” Ruby answered. “You guys should join in later too, if you’re interested. You can watch me play to see if you like it.”

Emerald grinned and cast a quick glance at Sapphire. She saw his grin and quickly caught on. With a snicker, she suddenly turned to face Ruby and seemingly fell into him for an embrace, holding his arms tight.

“What are you doing?” Ruby asked, taken aback by the sudden move.

Sapphire lifted him off of his chair, still holding his arms, and soon re-positioned so that she was better binding his arms to his torso. “Now, Emerald. Take the wheel!”

Emerald quickly snatched the chair and moved up to the computer, cracking his knuckles. “Time to give your character a little makeover.”

“Wait, what?!” Ruby exclaimed in horror. “No! It took me all day to make my flawless character!”

“Ooh, so many sliders and options!” Emerald exclaimed. “Now, what happens if I max out this slider here?”

The moment Emerald maxed out the slider, the character’s cheeks suddenly seemingly exploded, swelling in size.

“Pfft…” Sapphire choked out upon seeing the screen. “That looks hilarious!”

“No! No! No!” Ruby yelled, thrashing around, trying to free himself. But Sapphire was way too powerful. Trying to break out of her bear hug was like trying to break a steel chain with a toothpick.

“Hey, you’re moving too much! You’re going to hurt yourself!” Sapphire said between laughs. She quickly folded him neatly in half, wrapped his arms around his legs and then bent the knees, as if Ruby was hugging his legs but with his arms between his calves and thighs. She then lifted him up again so that he was practically neatly sitting on her arm as she held him like some paperweight. “There. Now we’re all comfortable.”

“… I’m being literally toyed with, both physically and digitally,” Ruby grumbled. He looked at the screen and noticed that Emerald had maxed out a few more sliders to devastating effects. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see his image being desecrated like this.

“Okay, I’m beginning to see what affects what,” he said, tinkering with a variety of sliders. “Let’s max this one, and… minimize that one. This… I’ll increase a bit, lower that one a bit, and… this one has to go, and… there. What do you think?”

Ruby reluctantly opened his eyes and almost screamed. “… Dude! Why am I like… 5 times bigger?! I look like a damn ball!”

“Oh my, Ruby, you really let yourself go!” Sapphire said between laughs. “You look like 150 kg now!”

“Now let’s finalize this and get on with the game!” Emerald said, clicking on the finalize button. “Ooh. Warning! The character physique customization is final and cannot be changed! Proceed? Hell yes.”

“NO!” Ruby screamed, but Emerald had already clicked on “yes”.

“Ah ha, there’s more customization,” Emerald said, studying the next screen. “Stats! Sapphire, I got to mess with the other one, so you should tell me what to do here.”

“All right!” Sapphire observed the screen but didn’t really understand what she was looking at.

Emerald quickly caught on. “So… there are 4 classes. Warrior, Mage, Assassin, and Healer. Warrior primarily uses strength and stamina, Mage and Healer use intelligence and magic, and Assassin uses speed and perception. So it seems that once we select a class, we get our starting skills, but then we can use skill points to increase what stats we want. So… what should our fat Ruby be?”

“Ooh! Well, let’s make him a Warrior,” Sapphire said. “But dump all the skill points into magic and perception or something!”

“Ah, I see,” Emerald said. “Devious! So we’ll make him a Warrior with bare minimum strength. He’ll hit like a fly and die just as fast! Absolutely no speed and stamina at all. Our fat Ruby here isn’t going to be winning any marathons, ever. And we’ll give him some intelligence so he isn’t a complete dunce. He’ll know all about magic despite having no skills or use for them, and he’ll be really aware of his surroundings, though he won’t be able to use that to his advantage. How does that sound?”

“Oh come on, guys!” Ruby cried out with a groan. “Give me something here!”

“Fine, fine. We’ll give you some good starting equipment,” Emerald said, moving onto the next screen. “We’ll give you the… strongest sword. Look at all that power!”

“But… you gave me no stamina! I’ll be like exhausted after one swing!”

“You should’ve thought of that before inviting us over,” Sapphire said.

“I didn’t! You barged in!”

“Semantics,” Emerald said with a wave. “There! Character creation is now done! Joining the server!”

Sapphire finally let go of Ruby so that he was able to play the game. He gave his character a sad, sad look and reluctantly sat on the chair to begin playing. Sapphire and Emerald gave each other a high five and watched.

Ruby soon received a request from Red to join his party, which Ruby stared at for a long time before reluctantly agreeing.

“Ah, here he comes,” came Red’s voice from the speaker, as he was using a headset for easier communication.

“He probably spent like 7 hours on the details,” came Y’s remark.

Ruby let out a quiet sob as his character finished loading into the area where the other Dex Holders were gathered.

As expected, the Dex Holders’ characters looked very much like their real selves, but with slight exaggerations, as expected from a game. Y was the one who looked most different, as undoubtedly, Platinum and White have pitched in ideas for “in-game improvement”.

The moment “Ruby” finished loading into their screens, the other Dex Holders burst into laughter.

“Ahahahaha! Who the hell is this?!” Y said between laughs. “I don’t know anyone who looks like this!”

“Oh wow, Ruby, what happened to you in the past 4 months?” Blue asked, trying to not laugh but not succeeding.

“I guess we were wrong about you. We thought you’d have spent hours and hours in trying to make yourself look perfect,” Red said. “This clearly took like a minute.”

“You look like you came from a feast for a whole party, but then you ate all the food by yourself!” Gold said, dying of laughter.

Ruby let out another quiet sob. “… This wasn’t me,” he said to his headset. “I was hijacked by Sapphire and Emerald. They did this!”

Sapphire suddenly leaned in to speak through the headset’s microphone. “It’s our new Ruby! What do you guys think?”

“I think Gold literally dying over there is a good indicator,” Y said, steadily calming down, while Gold’s loud laughter kept ringing from the speaker. “… White just took a picture of the game screen. I think she’s going to keep it in a scrapbook or something. That’s savage. … Oh, Miss Platinum wants to see your stats.”

Ruby groaned as the other Dex Holders looked at his stats. They began to laugh once again.

“I guess Sapphire and Emerald did this too,” Blue said. “You are a… very big and slow warrior with no strength and stamina but with excessive knowledge of stuff you can’t use.”

“Oh, dude,” came Gold’s wheezing voice from laughing too hard. “You’re kind of f*cked.”

Ruby sighed and lowered his head. “… I know… Let’s just… move on.”

“All right then, let’s give the first quest a try,” Red suggested.

And just like that, the journey of bloated Ruby began, while his two friends began their back-seat gaming. And it was a very rough journey.

“Hey Ruby, you suck at this game. You’re getting your ass handed to you by a random wild boar!”

“… Shut up, Sapphire.”

[snips-kryze]

Marriage Story - Thoughts

Last night I saw Marriage Story and I'm still in shock. I loved it, more than I could imagine, and has left my head spinning that I had to come here to express what I feel with this movie (sorry for my english I am actually spanish lol)

- First, I want to say that the performances are impressive. Adam Driver, I don’t know what else I can say, everyone said it was amazing what he did in this movie and I of course I believe it, but seeing it is something else. What has made me feel, the two times I've cried have been with him, the scene where he sings, the feeling, his expressions ... Sublime. With Scarlett, I’m more surprised because I haven't paid as much attention as with Adam, but I think her performance is also incredible, the monologue she has with Laura Dern and her interpretation in the fight scene deserves all the recognition as well.

Now I'm going to focus exclusively on the plot, because I have many mixed feelings (and not because I didn't like it, but because I just don't know how to feel about the characters and their motivations)

Although I have concluded that none of the characters were correct, I cannot deny that I have empathized much more with Charlie. This is why I will talk about each character separately to try to reach a conclusion

From the beginning I could not connect with Nicole. I understand her frustration, her desire to pursue her dream and  and I fully understand that she wants a divorce. Having your husband laughs at you when you are telling him about your new project with which you are very excited, after feeling for so long that you have been in his shadow and that you have not managed to take off as a person and artist, it is horrible. Not to mention his infidelity, which I will discuss later. So far I understand Nicole, and she has every right to pursue her dream, in Los Angeles or wherever. Now comes everything I do not understand. She says she went to New York, engaged to another man, and met Charlie and never returned. She made the decision to stay in New York and give up Los Angeles, you can't put that in your partner if deeply you regret that decision because it was YOUR decision. No one separated you from LA, you got married there, your son was born there, your whole family has always been in LA. That you deep down would like to live there again doesn't mean it's fair. You made a decision to settle in New York with your husband, you have based your life on that site and in the end it is your home, I do not see that thought of Nicole who seems to think that Charlie dragged her to New York and separated her from her house and her family, I just can't see it. Then, even though Charlie is very selfish, Nicole does not fall behind. Accept the pilot, ok, he takes his son who has always lived in New York, takes him out of his school and his life, decides to take the judicial process, one who agreed with Charlie not to start, in Los Angeles. It does not seem to me that at any moment she has in mind how this can affect Henry's relationship with his father, that he has to be going from one end of the country to another, seeing him the minimum. Don’t forget that Charlie had just got his play performed on Broadway, an achievement just as important as your pilot, and you're making him have to choose between his job and his son when you (Nicole) didn't have to. To the conclusion that I arrive with respect to Nicole, and all based on my personal experience, is that when love ends, you tend to see everything bad in your relationship, it is a kinda what Charlie says in the fight " You love your life until you decide you hate it "; I do not fully agree with this statement, it was clear that Nicole was not at all happy and that she looked like an extension of her husband, but I think that what failed is the communication, to express that, she needed to feel fulfilled outside of her circle and its theater, but could not. And when the problems began, love was not enough. I think Nicole, when she is no longer in love with Charlie, paints a much worse relationship than she really was, and I rely on the things she wrote in the What I love about Charlie letter, she really loved him and had been happy in New York, but love can't cope everything, and years of shutting up what she felt made it explode. And I believe a little in my mind of hopeless romantic, that if they had talked things before they could have fixed the relationship, with Charlie staying with his theater and Nicole with his series. But that is something that I think and that maybe does not make much sense.

Now we go with Charlie. It is likely that if Adam Driver had not interpreted this character he would not have been able to empathize with him so much, but I will try to separate my love for the actor from his character. I sympathize with Charlie in his role as father. Having your wife take your child thousands of kilometers away is not easy. But he accepts it. That your wife wants to stay there and take your child to live is another matter. And I think his fight there is justified. I would feel the same, added to how the relationship with Henry is changing. It is true that Henry wants to stay in Los Angeles after moving, and that must be respected because the important thing is the child's well-being. But I don't know if it would have happened if Nicole hadn't taken him from the beginning. Had Henry shown wishes before he wanted to leave NY? He didn't like his school or friends? It is something that we are not told. Charlie's life falls apart, his life as far as he has known no longer exists, and that happens in all divorces, is true, but going from having a family to the possibility of not seeing your son I think is different. That's why Charlie is so clinging to stay in NY, because although his marriage can no longer be saved, he does not want his family, and remember his only family, to disappear. Charlie has no parents or siblings who support him like Nicole, he says he has always felt Nicole's family as his own family, and when he divorces he loses everything. Losing your home in NY with your son is not as easy as to say, we have lived these years in NY now we go to LA. Or so I see it. That last scene just breaks your heart. See how his photos are gone, his mother-in-law who was so attached to show that same affection to Nicole's new boyfriend (which is normal, but anyone would feel hurt).I felt so devastatedin the scene with the woman who was deciding on the custody, and annoyed by the fact that we didn’t get to see the same scene with Nicole, I think it was necessary.  It is not clear to me if in the end his play manages to reach Broadway, I want to think that yes, he returns to LA a year later so in that year he may have been representing it. I don't want to keep that feeling that Nicole "wins" as her lawyer says: Henry, boyfriend, Emmy, etc. The fact that Charlie decides to take a job in LA, and the way he gets emocional reading the letter, shows that in the end he was just a man trying not to lose his son: He needs to know that I fought for him. Of course, Charlie is not perfect and he certainly has not been a good husband. I think Charlie was so obsessed with triumphing and showing himself that he could get his dream without help, leave an abusive home, that he didn't know how to take care of his wife. He could not see that her wishes were not being fulfilled, that she had become the woman of, the girl who was in that movie, who without her support could not have reached where he was. To make fun of his wife with his pilot, or to ask her to invest the money in the theater, seems cruel to me. And his infidelity; I believe that no infidelity is forgivable, or I would not do it, but if there is something that came to me and it is that in the fight Charlie tells Nicole that she should not be bother by the sex, but the fact that he share a laugh. And that is true, somehow. I believe that the worst thing about an infidelity is not sleeping with another person; sex is sex. But sharing moments, laughing, being happy with another person who is not your partner, that's the worst. That Nicole took a year without wanting to sleep with him or making him sleep on the couch is not justification, much less, but it is proof of the lack of communication they had. Charlie has not been a good husband, but he never stopped being a good father and it broke my heart to think that in the end he could end up losing his son.

In short, I believe that none was wrong, and none was right. It is a story that breaks your heart, because you can see two people who loved each other very much, but cannot continue together. One person, Nicole, who has spent years wanting something else for her, feeling small next to her husband. And Charlie, a man who has made mistakes, who has loved his wife but without knowing how to prove it to her, who has not known how to see more of his own personal desire, who loves his son with all his heart, and who realise everything when it's too late. One day after seeing it I still think about this movie and I think I will spend a lot of time like this, this story has stayed with me, made me laugh, cry, and it broke my heart. Thanks, Noah Baumbach.

Someone to hold you too close Someone to hurt you too deep Someone to sit in your chair And ruin your sleep And make you aware of being alive

[meowmerson]

fredmione 47 or 4

(I picked 47)

Fred wasn’t entirely certain why he was targeting Ron for every single test of his new products, but he was. They needed to test them on someone, after all, and it was easiest to test them on someone within the family, given how often they got together. It probably wasn’t necessary for him to test them on Ron every time, but then Ron’s face had the ability to glow a fantastic shade of red, so.

“Any particular reason?” George would ask when Fred inevitably named their target.

“No sense changing it now,” Was his newest response, “It’s practically tradition at this point.”

It definitely had nothing to do with the recently disintegrated relationship between his little brother and a certain witch, nor did it have anything to do with the fact that said witch’s appearances at the Weasley home was becoming less and less common. It definitely didn’t have anything to do with any of that.

And if sometimes she smiled or even outright laughed at one of the many occasions that Fred and George made a fool out of her ex-boyfriend well then, that warmed him no more than if anyone else laughed at it.

Besides, she usually didn’t laugh.

And lately, she usually wasn’t even there.

It wasn’t that he missed her, per se. He had never been particularly close to her to begin with, had always relied on family get-togethers to see her because they weren’t exactly friends. So Ron botched it up--says he ended it, but Fred knew that was a bunch of bollocks, Granger probably dumped him--and now she’s just gone, and he only gets to hear about her through Harry or Ginny and--

It didn’t matter, of course, not really. He didn’t think on it much. And it wasn’t like he asked about her. 

He just pranked the shit out of Ron because it was fun. No use thinking about it.

“Oi, Freddie,” George called, and it was only then Fred realized he had been staring at his cauldron for the past ten minutes and if he didn’t do something it could very likely explode, “You have a visitor!”

Swearing under his breath, he reached for a vial and uncorked it, “Tell them to bugger off, I’m busy.”

“Yeah, I’m not gonna do that!”

“What?”

“Fred Weasley!” A very familiar voice shrieked, and Fred accidentally dumped the entirety of the next ingredient into the bubbling cauldron.

“Merlin’s fucking pants--” He swore, ducking under the table as the potion blew up in multicolored smoke. “Bloody fucking hell--”

“What’s this I hear about you torturing Ron?” 

“Morning to you, too, Granger.” He greeted dryly, 

“Get out from under the table,” She snapped. “Ron says you’ve been using him as an unwilling test subject.”

“So he sent you to deal with it, did he?” He asked, rising from underneath the table and grimacing at the potion which had splatted across his workspace and was dripping onto the floor. 

“Well he seems to think it has something to do with me.” She snipped, and Fred turned to more or less gape at her for a moment, “Which I told him is ridiculous.”

“Yeah.” He said dumbly.

“So stop it.” She said firmly. Fred let out a huff of a laugh despite himself, finding an intense amount of amusement in the sight of Hermione’s expression tightening at the sound.

“You’re really losing your touch, Granger,” He said, “As far as your lectures go that was rather...underwhelming.”

“Underwhelming?” She echoed, “I’ll--okay. Okay. How about--You cannot test your new products--products which you have no idea what their affect will be--on your own brother. It’s ridiculous and juvenile and one would think that a grown man would possess enough maturity and self control to...to...why are you smiling?”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are.” She argued, hands on her hips and her mouth pinched tight into a frown.

“Am I?”

“Yes.”

“Oh,” He said, realizing she was right, “Guess I just missed you.”

He wasn’t precisely embarrassed to admit it, but it was a bit shockingly enlightening. He had missed her, despite the fact that all she usually did was yell at him and despite the fact that she was the complete opposite of everything he usually sought in friendships, he had missed her. And here she was, yelling at him, and he was smiling, and he was starting to wonder if maybe he just had a thing for being yelled at. Or maybe he just had a thing for being yelled at by her.

Or, not a thing. Not...a thing. He just missed her is all.

Hermione’s anger had mostly faded and she had the strangest mix of confusion and suspicion on her face. She was still standing with her hands on her hips, a power stance if he ever saw one, unmoving, and it was odd to see her standing like that without her lecturing him. It was odd to see her at all, really, just her and him in the back of his shop, and when he remembered that Ron had sent her he felt a pang of annoyance that made him think--

And yeah, he definitely had a thing. Oh Merlin, he had a thing for Hermione Granger.

“Fred,” She finally spoke, and though her anger had faded, she sounded no less annoyed. “You’re not--you did not do target Ron in order to get me to yell at you again.”

“I don’t know, apparently I have a thing for it.” He shrugged, knowing even before he said it that he should keep his mouth shut, but when her cheeks flamed a bright red he didn’t regret it. 

“Fred.” She said disapprovingly.

“Hermione.” He replied, mimicking her tone and expression.

“You--you can’t torture your brother to get my attention you--you’re not thirteen, Fred, you’re an adult, you should act like it.”

He shrugged. “It worked.”

“Fred!” She snapped, advancing on him where he was leaning against his worktable, “You can’t flirt,” She hissed that word under her breath as if afraid someone would overhear, “With your brother’s ex-girlfriend. Ron sent me here because he thinks you’re afraid of me, not because--you can’t--this is disrespectful and ridiculous. Ron would be furious.”

“Why should Ron need to know?”

“What?”

“No one needs to know,” He shrugged. Hermione gaped at him for a silent moment and he almost laughed at her expression, but her hand lashed out and shoved him hard in the chest before he could. He raised his own hand to press against his chest where she had struck him, staring at her in unveiled amusement. 

“I am not going to be some dirty little secret--”

“Well,” Fred raised his eyebrows, “No one said anything about dirty, Granger.” Her face went red, and Fred found that if he liked it when she yelled at him and loved it when she laughed, he adored it when she blushed. “Besides,” He continued before she could yell at him some more, “Don’t see why Ron should care, he’s been telling everyone he dumped you.”

Her face went frighteningly blank. “He what?”

“Yeah,” Fred shrugged, “We all know you dumped him though.”

“What--no.” She stressed, “It was a mutual decision. No one dumped anybody.”

“That sounds like something you would say if you dumped him.” Fred observed. Hermione let out a frustrated groan and glared up at him.

“I’m done with this conversation,” She told him. Briefly, she glanced over his shoulder and pointed, “You should clean that up. God knows what that could do left unattended.” 

“You aren’t going to tell me to leave Ron alone?” He asked. She gave him a rather sour look and he pursed his lips to keep from smiling.

“Did he really say he dumped me?” She asked, sounding small and contemplative, and his good mood briefly deflated at the sudden change in attitude.

“Uh. Yeah.” He admitted. She chewed at her bottom lip for a moment before she spoke again.

“Nothing that causes him pain,” She said, “Because that’s cruel.”

Fred smiled. “Emotional pain off the table?”

Hermione rolled her eyes, “Don’t traumatize him.”

“Alright.” He agreed. She gave him a final exasperated glance before turning to leave, but he reached out and caught her arm before she could walk away. “You should come to the house on Saturday,” He invited her.

“Why?” She asked, “So I can have a front row seat of you continuing to harass your little brother like a couple of children?”

“No,” He answered simply. The invitation to come just to see him remained unsaid, but her cheeks flushed and he thought she might’ve heard it anyway. 

“Yes. Alright.” She nodded, looking pointedly away from him, “I’ll see you Saturday.” And then as if she couldn’t stand to seem submissive for even a moment she raised her eyes and pointed over his shoulder. “Clean that up.”

“Yes ma’am,” He laughed, and she left without another word.

[heoltrouble]

Love Call (10)

one two three four five six seven eight nine ten

              Three days later…

         "Oh is that a necklace from him too?" She cut your sentences with another question, she pointed at white gold necklace with Hangul alphabets; Jung, as his family name. It was a gift from him. One thing that she didn’t know, Simon bought you another diamond necklace but you barely touch it. You love this simple necklace best, it’s assuring you that Simon loves you, he wants you to be his. Yes, you still wore his necklace even if you told him to break up with you. You just can’t unlove him, he hurt you but love was still there.

        Looking directly at her eyes, you tried your best to not get angry by every single shit that she tried to feed you.

        "I think he's rich enough to buy you a diamond necklace just like what he bought for me back then.. instead of those toy.." again, she heartily mocking you, "it could be because he doesn't love you that much? Awww~ poor little girl~ he probably only wants to play and have fun with you~"

        That’s it. She had enough, it’s your turn to fight her. Maybe pulling her hair and land your beautiful sharp paw on her face could be appropriate things as respond? You clenched your fist tightly, holding back your anger to not explode in the public. You were inside one of high end boutique and you didn’t want to harm your own pride, dealing with Simon’s unashamed ex-girlfriend. She never worth anything from you.

        You looked at her eyes without saying anything then turned back your heel, leaving her dumbfounded on her spot. You walked to the cashier to pay your dress so you bring yourself from her bullshits, you were tempted to punch her but you immediately threw away your thoughts. Violence was never a wise solution to anything.

         Was Simon really love her? Was Simon has guts to cheat on you with that kind of girl? You started to doubt your impeachment on Simon. She really has a bad attitude, rude and act like uneducated human. Simon couldn’t be in love again with her, it must be true when he said he only love you. She’s jealous because Simon defends you, if they’re back together she wouldn’t confront you and try to humiliate you. If Simon chose her then why would she act like you’re her rival? That’s the answer. She’s jealous and she wanted you and Simon to be separate.

        Just when you handed over your dress to the cashier, you heard a furious step approaching you. You decided to not pay attention as you dug your bag, searching for your wallet to pay your dress. When you succeed to find your wallet, you saw Lady Jane took your dress from the cashier counter and shoved them to you, you caught your dress in fast response and looked at her in disgust. What did the hell she does?

        She put a lot of dress in cashier counter and shot a death glare which you didn’t even care, “your cheap dress can wait.” She rolled her eyes and faced the cashier lady, “wrap them for me.” She proudly smirked as she handed her credit card to cashier lady.  

        And you stood there in urge to strangle her neck inside your mind.

        After in a moment, the cashier lady processing her card and said in poker face to Lady Jane, “Your card is cannot be used, Miss.”

        She gave another card and the cashier said the same thing, “This one is also cannot be used.”

        Then you giggled freely without coercion. What a dumb girl!

         “Honey?” your mom peeked in through your door which was jar opened, unintentionally snapping you from your thought about meeting Lady Jane two days ago. Your mom was standing in front of your door with her motherly smile.

        “Mom..”  you smiled at her.

        “Are you okay?” she walked closer to you.

        “I’m okay, only my heart isn’t okay.” You chuckled, trying to make fun on your bitterness. You wished the pain goes away but it wasn’t, it’s still there and creating a hole in your heart.

        “Did you talk with your dad?”

        “Yeah, are you here for talking about it too?”

        “No.” she smirked, causing you to raise your eyebrow.

        “And then?”

        “Just checking my beloved daughter and let her know that Kiseok is here, down stair in the living room.” She ruffled your hair and playfully taped your cheek, your mom always treat you like baby.

        So he’s here, he really keep his promise to win you back.

        “Mom.”

        “It’s okay,, honey. I already told him that you want to be alone, I asked him to leave though. But he promised he will come again tomorrow.” Your mom explained. They said mom is always the best when it comes to understand her children, indeed, your mom is one of the best moms.

        She looked at you who didn’t say anything, “Do you want to talk to him?”

        “Is that okay?” you found yourself hesitate. Was it the right time to talk to him? You can’t avoid him forever, even if it would have different ending you still needed to talk to him and solve the problem like adult.

         “Would you be okay, honey? I mean, I can help you to kick him out if you’re not ready to meet him.” your mom looked worry.

         You gave her firm nod before answered in confidence, “I think I’m ready.”

         You were sitting on the edge of bed with your fluffy pillow on your lap when you heard whispering voice outside your door. It must be him. You shifted your position and control your breath, calming yourself. Simon should be the one who feel nervous, not you. Five minutes ago you told your mom that you’re ready to talk to Simon.

         The door opened and you saw Simon standing few meters from you. He looked skinnier than before, his sharp jaw line became more noticeable, along with his eye bags but it didn’t diminish his charms. And you hate the fact that he still has effect on you.

         Both of you locked each other eyes for moments before he murmur, calling you.

         “Hey..” his deep voice broke the silence between you and him.  

         “Why are you here?” you couldn’t help but glared at him, showing your unfriendliness. But Simon didn’t find it offending. He walked slowly approaching you.

         “baby..” he called you again this time with the endearment that both of you knew it’s your favorite.

         “don't baby me— we broke up.” You cut his sentence, not giving chance for him to show his affection towards you or else you would give in so easily.

         You clutched your fluffy pillow even tighter when he reached your spot and sat beside you. His eyes were looking at you and your soul as he speak, “we are not, I didn't say yes on your one side decision.” His voice so calm and not demanding, there’s no hint of anger or displeased tone.

         “Then I'm the one who want to break up with you, accept that.” You shot him a death glare before stood leaving your spot, but Simon quickly grabbed your wrist.

         He gently spun you to face him and held your shoulder, “NO. We got together by our agreement, we share mutual feeling, and we'd break up when both of us agree to do so, not when you want it by yourself. You're still my girlfriend.” Now he back to his authoritative voice, sending you shiver under his spell.

         “Don't be ridiculous.” You discarded your shoulder from his hands, taking few steps backwards. Simon’s expression looked hurt by your response but he didn’t want to give up on you.

         “It's because I love you.” He said loud and clear, making your heart jolty.

         He noticed you froze on where you stand then approached you, you stood still when he reached your hands and held them firm but in gentle way so you wouldn’t feel hurt. His eyes were searching yours, and once you caught his eyes he began to say, “Listen, baby.. I can't do anything with my past even if I want to. Everything just a past, I'm no longer get affected by them, that's me.. That's what happened with me in the past when I was not your boyfriend. But the most matter from now is us, the present.. you and me. If I want you then it means you, all of you.. I don't want anyone else. It's only you from the beginning and I don't need to choose you than anyone. I need you and I’m nothing without you..”

          He pulled you closer and put his arms around your waist, “I swear I didn’t do anything with her, and I already warn her to leave us alone. I told her I love you so she will stop bothering you, I’m sorry for hurting you but I won’t do it again. Give me chance and I’ll prove it to you, baby come on..”

          You didn’t say anything but staring at his eyes, there were a lot of emotion hidden there. Part of you wanted to believe him and give him another chance but the other part got scared what if he wouldn’t fulfill his promise and hurt you again. Was he worth for you to fight for?

          You put your hands on his forearms and shook your head. No.

         Simon’s face change into sour when you pulled yourself away from him, he felt your rejection.

        “Tell me how to change your mind?” he murmured when you glimpsed his tears welled up.

         “No.” your voice croaked. You wanted to sound firm and cold but your voice betraying you.

          He nodded weakly, trying to understand your choice, he knew he hurt you so bad and there’s no room for him in your life. “I know I made a mistake since I’m not perfect.. I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you, it will hurt either you or me, love always one package with tears and pain. But I can promise I’ll make it worth, your tears, our pain.. it’s worth it because no matter what will happen, I’ll be there on your side. I can promise you that we’ll make it because I love you. It’s worth it because we have each other.” He paused for a moment before continue, “but I know, not everyone deserve second chance. And I guess that’s me.” He gave you bitter smile then slowly cutting the gap between you and him, now he stood in front of you, “Please be happy, I know I don’t deserve anything from you but please be happy. I wish there’s no more tears on your sparkling eyes.” He slowly raised his hand to touch your face but he stopped when it almost touch your cheek, “I’m so sorry.”

         He dropped his hand and walked out from your room, leaving you alone. Once you heard the door clicked as he closed your door from outside, you cried out your sadness from your lungs. Sobbing hard while you hug your knees tightly. You hate him for hurting you, yes you did. But realizing he wouldn’t push you to accept him was really painful. That’s what you wanted but why when he gave it you still feel not happy? It felt thousand times more painful than before.

        Simon gave up on you.         He let you go.         He walked away because you told him so.         No. No way! No!

        You got up and ran out from your room, climbed down stairs in hurry to chase Simon, “Oppa!” you called him, but when you reach living room you find nothing, except your mom.

        “Kiseok already left, honey.” Your mom said in apologetic face, she must feel bad because she saw you cry.

         He left?

         You nodded in defeated then went back upstairs to your room, you didn’t want your mom watching you cry. He left, Simon left because you didn’t want him back. Your tears won’t stop when you drag yourself to your room, you bit your inner mouth to stop your sobbing.

         What you’re going to do now? You cried again and sobbing hard in your way to your room, but then your sob stop when you saw, “Miss me already?” there he was, leaning on the wall beside your door with his warmest smile.

         You sniffled lightly while processing what really happened right now, he’s here. Simon was still there, he didn’t leave you. “Oppa—” you looked at him confuse, then you realized your mom lied to you and Simon probably heard you cry like a baby, wailing like crazy.

         Simon walked to you with his big grin, he literally couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot, “It’s need fifteen minutes to let you figure it out what you really wanted.” He opened his arms when he stood right in front of you, “And I’m really happy you want me back.” With that, he shared the warmth from his body with a bear hug for you. He hugged you really tight as if you would disappear while you said nothing but buried your face on his chest, enjoying his warmth and his heartbeat. His heart beat so fast and you felt he kissed the top of your head over and over while chanting the words, “I'm fucking love you.”

         You felt happy in his embrace, he was right. He might make mistake, you might hurt him too but that’s all relationship about. He’s worth it, so your love for him worth it too. He wants you as much as you want him.

         “I know, you love fucking me too.” You mumbled against his chest, hiding your red face when you said that words.

         He pulled away to look at your face, “Geez— Can you not—“

         “What? You fuck me and you love me. What’s the difference?” you looked at him, challenging.

         He shook his head in disapproval then chuckled, “That's not what I mean, you bad girl. Since when you become a pervert like this?”

         “But that’s true, you fuck me so many times.” You didn’t care your face was still damp from your tears, screw the drama and the tears, you missed your playful Simon, your Simon.

         “Can you just let me be a romantic gentleman instead of imagining dirty things?” he asked you with his horny eyebrows, his face looked annoyed but you knew he’s not upset, he was in his best to resist something from his inside.

         “Can you just kiss me already? I miss you like hell.” And he didn’t need to be told twice.

          “My pleasure, baby.” Then he slammed his lips to yours like there’s no tomorrow.

[gamergirlsexperience-blog]

Queer Female of Color: The Highest Difficulty Setting There Is? Gaming Rhetoric as Gender Capital

On May 15, 2012 popular science fiction writer John Scalzi published a post to his blog Whatever entitled Straight White Male: The Lowest Difficulty Setting That There Is.”

I learned about Scalzi as did many non-fans, through John Schwartz’s admiring New York Times piece published July 6, 2012, which cited two influential and eloquent blog posts he had written that had gone viral: “Being Poor” and “Straight White Male.” (Read “Being Poor.” It will break your heart, as will the hundreds of comments from readers who share their personal narratives of the unique humiliations of poverty. Here’s one: “Being poor is fighting with someone you love because they misplaced a $15 dollar check.”)

As Schwartz writes, Scalzi posts to Whatever almost every day, and the blog gets over 50,000 hits a day. Scalzi covers a huge variety of topics, but these two posts on poverty, race, class, and gender have reached the widest audience and generated the most commentary and controversy because he writes from a position of absolutely unassailable white geek masculinity as a popular science fiction writer. Media fandom has taken on a newfound social currency as an indicator of masculinity in the post-internet age, and producers of sci-fi “canons” such as Scalzi have correspondingly become bigger dogs in the popular culture sphere. Scalzi skillfully deploys the cultural capital he enjoys as a much-admired and widely read science fiction writer as a means to assert a new form of patriarchal power — geek masculinity — and he employs the rhetoric of gaming to solidify his authority with male readers, for whom digital games have become a form of social capital

Scalzi exercises a great deal of thoughtful and expert control over reader participation; he has an elaborate commenting policy, in which he reserves the right to delete or “mallet” posts that he finds offensive, and he has been known to shut down comment threads when they get too long or feel unproductive to him. However, even he expressed surprise at how controversial the “Straight White Male” piece proved to be. He published two follow-ups to the piece responding to the thousands of mostly-angry responses he received specifically from white male readers. In the second of these he wrote that it has “been fun and interesting watching the Intarweebs basically explode over it, especially the subclass of Straight White Males who cannot abide the idea that their lives play out on a fundamentally lower difficulty setting than everyone else’s, and have spun themselves up in tight, angry circles because I dared to suggest that they do.”

The “Straight White Male” piece is short, sweet, and eloquent. It’s easy to see why it went viral. It employs the discourse of video gaming, one assumed to come naturally to “dudes,” Scalzi’s stated intended audience, as a metaphor for explaining how race and gender confer automatic, unasked-for, mechanical advantages on players who are lucky enough to be born white and male. Just like the difficulty level one chooses while playing a game, these advantages gradually become invisible as the player becomes immersed in the game. What does become noticeable are deviations from this norm–when a quest is “too hard” the player may become aware of the difficulty setting that they chose, but otherwise that decision as a decision fades into the background. This is, indeed, how privilege works in “real life.”

The term “game mechanic” doesn’t appear in the piece but it underlies the argument throughout, explaining how points that a player can spend on advantages like “talent,” “wealth,” “charisma,” and “intelligence” are distributed by “the computer,” and that players must “deal with them,” just like they must in real life. This argument makes racism and sexism seem socially neutral, mechanical, structural, and not a personal act of aggression or oppression perpetrated upon one person by another. In short, they are institutional, invisible, “mechanical,” always business, never personal. Indeed, as Scalzi states at the beginning of the piece, his purpose in using gaming as a metaphor for life was to avoid the use of the term “privilege” altogether, since straight white men react badly to it. As he writes, “So, the challenge: how to get across the ideas bound up in the word “privilege,” in a way that your average straight white man will get, without freaking out about it?”

Indeed, Scalzi’s argument is successful because it allows his privileged readers to abstract themselves from the equation and see understand racial and gender privilege not as something that they are “doing,” but rather as a structural benefit that they receive without trying. All gamers understand that the ludic world is above all constructed, in the most literal sense. If a boss or a monster kills you, you cannot take it personally — likewise, if you pick up a rare epic weapon, you cannot really claim credit for having “earned” it since it’s a programmed part of the environment. Scalzi understands above all that his readers cannot tolerate the feeling of being blamed for their privilege. Explaining race and gender as a structural advantage, an aspect of a made environment that was designed to reward some types and punish others, lets white male readers hold themselves blameless for their own advantages.

Many of Scalzi’s critics object that his metaphor isn’t perfect, since some games do let players choose many aspects of their identities, and game mechanics and difficulty settings work differently in different games. Nonetheless, the basic premise — that difficulty settings create a pervasive experience of ease or hardship and affects every aspect of a gamer’s experience, just as do race and gender — certainly help us understand how privilege works in “real life.”

However, the way that this argument works perpetuates the notion that men are automatic members of geek and gamer culture (which many men are not) and that women aren’t. As a man, Scalzi employs the discourse of gaming–leveling, “points,” dump stats–as a technique to appeal, specifically, to straight white men like himself, who “like women.” (And presumably don’t want to see them oppressed; cranky women just aren’t as fun for men to be around!). Heteronormative white masculinity is equated with expert, fan knowledge of gaming mechanics, structures, discourses–what Mia Consalvo has dubbed “gaming capital” in her excellent study of games and cheating. Scalzi employs this language’s value as a system of signification marked as inherently masculine. Gaming discourse becomes a male backchannel.

This technique is very effective because gaming capital is in fact aspirational for many young male players, as much a goal as it is a reality. Masculinity is performed by the display of technical knowledge, and gaming is the most recent iteration of this form of social display. Gaming itself becomes a mark of privilege within symbolic discourse. Even men who have no idea what “dump stats” are hailed by this argument because gaming capital is assumed to be intrinsically masculine. As George Lipsitz, another white male critic of white male privilege, puts it in his writing on the possessive investment in whiteness, the “dump stat” of gaming discourse is difference itself.

In an example of publishing on the lowest difficulty setting, Scalzi’s essay got much more play on the Interwebz than postings on this topic by any female games or science fiction blogger. While digital media and publishing have definitely changed the way that feminist scholars work by giving us more and faster outlets to publish for a public audience, there is no doubt that we are working at the highest difficulty setting. Most of us don’t have 50,000 readers, and are not popular science fiction authors with ties to the television industry: not that most men are either, but some men are, and no women are. Scalzi would be the first person to acknowledge this.

As Scalzi puts it, “the player who plays on the “Gay Minority Female” setting? Hardcore.”  Women of color gamers who publicly identify with the culture of gaming find themselves shunned, mocked, and generally treated in ways that are far worse than one could find in almost any other social context. Aisha Tyler, an African American actress who has appeared on television programs like 24, found out what it meant to be perceived as an intruder to “gamer culture.” After she emceed the Ubisoft demo at the Electronic Entertainment Expo more commonly known as E3, the largest and most important gaming industry conference, the backlash against her presence on social media like NeoGAF, YouTube and Twitter started with the terms “annoying fucking bitch” and went on in a similar vein. As Kotaku noted in “Aisha Tyler Rants ‘I’ve Been a Gamer Since Before You Could Read’” The trollery directed at her exemplifies a troubling problem at the core of nerd culture. A hardcore base wants respect and recognition for the merits of whatever they love, be it comics, games or something else. But when someone they perceive as an outsider professes to share this love, the pitchforks come out.

Tyler responded with a beautifully written essay (not a rant!) on her Facebook page. She writes

“I go to E3 each year because I love video games. Because new titles still get me high. Because I still love getting swag. Love wearing my gamer pride on my sleeve. People ask me what console I play. Motherfucker, ALL of them.”

Aisha Tyler’s presence at E3 presenting for Ubisoft constitutes a black, female claim to gaming capital. It is hardcore, to use Scalzi’s term, and immensely threatening. It is abundantly apparent that the more gaming capital becomes identified with white masculinity, the more bitter the battle over its distribution, possession, and circulation will become. As gaming culture becomes more heavily capitalized both economically and symbolically, it becomes both more important for women to gain positions of power as critics, makers, and players, and more likely that it will be denied.

Gaming space is part and parcel of what George Lipsitz calls the “white spatial imaginary,” and the stakes for keeping women and people of color out are the same as they were during redlining, blockbusting, and other techniques to police movement and claims to space in America. As George Lipsitz writes in How Racism Takes Place, “because whiteness rarely speaks its names or admits to its advantages, it requires the construction of devalued and even demonized Blackness to be credible and legitimate. Although the white spatial imaginary originates mainly in appeals to the financial interests of whites rather than to simple fears of otherness, over times it produces a fearful relationship to the specter of Blackness.” (37). Google Books categorizes this book under “Business and Economics.” Word.

Feminist scholars have been at the forefront of giving scholarly legitimation to the existence of virtual community through their ethnographic and theoretical academic writing. T.L. Taylor, Sherry Turkle, Sandy Stone, Lori Kendall, Tom Boellstorff, and Bonnie Nardi have wonderful monographs to this end. Most traditional anthropologists and sociologists were hostile to this idea when these works were published, yet today there is wide agreement that online communities create real affective environments with real economic value. The battle to legitimate online community as an area of study has been won; today we know that online community is real by the sound of keystrokes and game controller buttons as players enter their credit card numbers into their computers or consoles to purchase time in World of Warcraft or Xbox Live. However, though most agree that racism and sexism absolutely permeate game culture and the online and offline communities and narratives that constitute it, few seem to care, and even straight white males like Scalzi who write about it publicly are castigated. (For an antidote to this, Mary Flanagan’s book Critical Play. Seriously).

Though some of his thousands of readers may have violently disagreed with him, Scalzi was read and taken seriously. When a woman of color gamer like Aisha Tyler appears in public to talk about games, she is not taken seriously. She has to defend her credibility as a gamer, something that Scalzi is not asked to do. While commenters argued with his interpretation of how game mechanics worked, nobody claimed that he had never played them, a charge with which Tyler, despite her very public profile as a gamer, had to contend.

It’s one thing to say that women and non-whites are playing “the game of life” in hardcore mode — woman of color feminism has been telling us this for years. (See Grace Hong’s work on the Combahee River Collective in her powerful and rigorous monograph Ruptures of Capital). And even the popular press has taken note of the egregious state of gaming for women and minorities: this August the New York Times published an article entitled “In Virtual Play, Sex Harassment Is All Too Real.” I wish that there were both more outrage and more analysis as to the causes, practices, and effects of games in the white spatial imaginary, but I don’t fault the Times. Journalists are good at describing problems more quickly than academics are (though in this case the Times is many years late: even NPR beat them to this story by two years, which is saying something), but they don’t have the luxury of time to devote to deeper and more detailed writing. Journalists are good at bringing public awareness to problems like gaming’s pervasive racism, sexism, and homophobia, but awareness isn’t enough. It’s our job as feminist scholars, teachers, writers, and gamers to document, analyze, and theorize the white patriarchy that is so vigorously resurgent in games while never forgetting who profits here.

—-CITATION—- Nakamura, L. (2012) Queer Female of Color: The Highest Difficulty Setting There Is? Gaming Rhetoric as Gender Capital. Ada: a Journal of Gender, New Media, and Technology, No. 1. doi:10.7264/N37P8W9V