#i cant even go to school every day without being worn down to my bones

[that-jack-kline-bestie]

im feel like im gonna throw up i did all that and i still failed the class

[pact-ideas]

 Your home is the beautiful hidden city of Leira a haven for the wood elves to hide away from the cruelty of the outside world, each house was made from the wood of a different tree and the city was warded away from the rest of the world by a magical forest that never let anyone through its majestic depths, life in Leira was peaceful as it had been for a thousand years

you fucking hate it

ok maybe not the peace, the peace was nice everyone can agree that peace was if a little boring generally a good thing but.... well.... ok first of all that magical forest thing works two way no one can leave. ever. this didnt stop you trying when you were little you used to take off into the forest determined to see what was at the other side but no matter how hard you tried or how you navigated or how long you were walking or anything you always ended up back in Leira it was always the same you would end up right back at home and your mother would brush the twigs out of your hair and say how “silly” you were to get lost in the forest it made you indescribably angry but you didnt even understand why

growing up in this place was a nightmare, Leira was created by melora the goddess of nature so as you can imagine the culture of leira was pretty heavily dedicated to sucking her metaphysical dick, everyone’s a vegetarian and natures roams free throughout the city which is nice and all but when your late for school and you get stuck behind a 20 ton bear it easy to loose your fucking patience and it not like you want to kill an animal or anything but your desperately curious to know what meat tastes like. one night there was a big wild fire and a bunch of birds got roasted in the flames and yeah it was sad and all that but my god the SMELL! it was amazing and theres no way you can ever get any kind of meat since theres no privacy anywhere in the god damn city, you live with your family and streets are ALWAYS busy with people and even in the rare moment when theres no other elves around theres always some kind of nature around and since most of the elves if the city can speak to animals your pretty sure if you did anything too sacrilegious it would be reported before you could say “barbecue”. and the people ugh the FUCKING PEOPLE you mother keeps nagging you and telling you off for regecting all your sutiors but in fairness your not really regecting 8 or 9 suitors your regecting one because EVERYONE HERE IS THE FUCKING SAME THEYVE GOT LONG FLOWING HAIR THEYRE SLIM AND DELICATE LOOKING THEY WRITE POTRY ABOUT NATURE AND THEY PROBABLY PLAY THE FUCKING PAN FLUTE.

ok what the fuck is up with pan flutes theyre anoying to play and they dont even sound good why cant we just bang some fucking sticks together and make some real noise!

and the worst thing about it is that everyone you have ever met god damn loves it here if you go to a town elder to ask about if people can get through the forest he just pats you on the head and says some shit like “dont worry little one no outsiders will ever get in” and you have to fight back the urge to scream beacause NO LORENCE YOU DONT GET IT but you just nod and smile because if you say anything than you get branded as even more of a fucking outsider than when you decided to tie up your hair for the first time.I mean by the GODS what is wrong with tying up your hair? ugh you know whats wrong with it in Leria elves belive that hair should flow out beautifuly and naturally its common for full adults to have hair that reaches the floor and some elders employ neighbourhood kids to pick up their hair after them when they walk so it doesn't trail behind them on the ground but whoever decided that elvish hair was contantly elegant never seemed to be able to get your hair to obey. your hair constantly got caught on buttons and jackets and even door handles! your hair is only down to your waist and its already the biggest nuisance in your life you cant imagine it reaching the floor and always getting stepped on so one day you had had enough, you got some twine and tied up your hair you thought it looked pretty good but when your mother saw it for the first time my god it was like you were dying she asked what was wrong if you needed some kind of help and after she hear that your hair was getting in the way she decided to spend three hour THREE FUCKING HOURS brushing it which is not only fucking painfull but its the kind of stupid bullshit you were trying to avoid when you tied it up in the fucking first place. eventually people got a little more used to you tying up your hair there was always a limit there was always a “oh honey grannies coming round for dinner so dont you think you should take down your hair?” and its like ..... why? but becuase theyre your family you dont question it and let your hair down but secretly you think that maybe granny wouldnt mind it if you could eat without accidentally getting stray hairs in your mouth every....single...time you took a bite to eat.

buuuuuut theres some hope theres a legend of a warrior with a great connection to nature who must leave the safty of the city and defeat a great evil in the outside world and your determined that that person will be you you got to the libary at noght and read books on the outside world and FUCK it sounds so fucking interesting so different  so god damn DIFFERENT you read about beings who live between dimensions and every single member of there race is completly different to each other every single one is entirly unique some are good some are evil some have physical forms some are made of gas and some of them are just a mad pile of limbs I mean can you imagine? the very idea of beings like that sets you mind ablaze and your determined to meet one but the fucking problem with that is the the legendary hero is suppose to be able to connect with nature and you... struggle with that. you call out to the trees to obey your commands you try to connect with the animals and you appeal to the elements but nothing ever works its so fucking frustrating this is your only chance of leaving the city and you can even begin to make progress everyone in the city at least has SOME connection to nature there are toddlers that can make flowers bloom and you cant even bend a branch. everyone teacher youve ever had tells you not to give up and to keep trying and that you just need to look deep down withing yourslef and find the connection you dont know is there but that just bullshit the reason you can connect with the trees is because deep down you dont WANT to connect with the trees you know it and the trees know it why cant anyone see?everyone in the world from your teacher to your parents tyo the town elders to the fucking animals seemed to think that your just one attitude adjustment away from being a perfect happy elf “keep trying” they say “you’ll get it eventually” all your fucking life youve been hearing that but you know what? you dont want to be a perfect elf with long hair and a dozy smile you dont want to be the hero who connects with nature and is celebrated as the perfect figure you dont want to be here anymore! you want to eat meat and wear clothes that dont make me look like a plant obsessed ballet dancer and fight people with your bare hands and play the drums and do whatever you want with my hair and be FUCKING FREE

you sneak into the library the books your looking for is old and worn but within it is the ritual that you need. The great one Uthuctarr is surprised to be contacted by an elf but you get along like a house on fire. soon the terms of the pact are agreed you have the pentagram scrawled onto the library floor in chalk all you need to seal the pact is a part of your self, most people use blood but you have a better idea, you take out the dagger you stole, its carved out of bone it was used by ancient elves to hunt in the days when the world was new, functionally the bone dagger is everything the elves of Leira stand against but they couldnt destroy it without discrediting their precious history. its perfect, you undo the twine holding your hair and let the blond mass fall forward over your face. with your left and you grab a clump of long blond hair near the base and with your right you take the blunt bone dagger and cut. you hand is not steady and your hair is thick but that doesnt stop you and soon a huge chunk of blond mess falls away into the centre of the pentagram. you pause for a moment thinking about what youve just dont and you realise you can feel the night hair against your ears and in all you life youve never felt anything more divine you begin to laugh, truly laugh. not at a joke or out of politeness but out of pure unfiltered joy. quickly you grab another clump and get back to work. after a few more minutes of frenzied cutting your finally free of you long messy STUPID hair, you gather the hair into the centre of the pentagram and step back. suddenly all on its own the hair bursts into dark blue flames, the small is awful, you love it, from the fire a tiny thread of blue flame pushes out of the flame and begins to weave its way out of the library though the city and into the forest the locals are mystified but you know whats happening after all these years you are finally being shown the path out of Leira.

[friedpotat0]

its funny because the people that should care about you dont, and the people that shouldnt be bothered to care about you just waste their time over you. 

my parents dont know that i cry myself to sleep nearly every night, that i cry on the ride home, or that i wrote a suicide note and plan with full intention to kill myself before 2:30 on tuesday 10/29, they have no idea i think about my own death often or that i plan on killing myself before i turn 30, or how my body shakes every second of the day because everything is distracting or making me immensely nervous. they dont know im frustrated or irritated or that every little thing annoys the fuck out of me or how my paranoia is so bad i always perpetually feel like the entire world is against me, they dont know ive been seeing the counselor since high school and that the psychiatrist bluntly told me i have severe depression with bipolar 2 and prescribed me lamitrogine even though i really disagree with the diagnosis and wished they listened to my concerns about anxiety instead. 

people dont know these things bc i dont tell them and i dont want anyone to worry about me. im pretty good at hiding things bc ive been dealing with bad thoughts my whole life. but relentlessly i choose to believe in optimism because i believe in Allah and he is slowly guiding me through this hellscape. i hate crying in front of people, and i especially dont like have any attention on me ever (unless im playing the guitar, then shut up). i dont like being selfish and self absorbed. and i hate dwelling on the past.

its funny when ur own family has absolutely no idea whats going on because when you did tell them, when u were 14, about the suicidal thoughts and anxiety, they yelled at you and called u attention seeking, so u never told them about the weight loss or the scars or the suicide attempts. its so funny that the people that should care about you dont, and really just prize you as a trophy rather than a human being with thoughts and feelings. 

instead the counselor, my research supervisor, hell my fucking advisor has more concern over me than my own family and (certain) close “friends” ever will have in their lives. it means a lot to me that im finally getting some love and attention that ive always needed, but never realized it.

its funny how things get so distorted in your mind. you accomplish so much yet you feel like you did so little. i am so fatigued all the time, i already feel old, my skin is so dry and my body is so frail, my back aches endlessly, my lips are chapped and falling off, your feet always hurt, your hands are always cold, my mind is so worn. my nails are so brittle at this point and breaking at the edges. my skin is so fucked up id like to rip it off at this point. 

its so weird to me i wrote a whole suicide plan and suicide note and released it with every intention that i will kill myself before the end of the week but yet i am still here, very much alive and (arguably) healthy. with full intention to finish this semester. why? what happened there? and yet i still find myself looking back at that plan constantly with tears running down my face. i have a lot of tears. 

i wanted to kill myself since i was very very young. i remember when my mom would scream at me that she wishes i was dead and that i was her burden, nearly every day, and i would go to sleep crying praying to god he would kill me in my sleep. i would suffocate myself when i was 6 just to try to end it all. i barely had any friends growing up and if i did i saw them briefly in school or once every three months at some gathering. rarely did i leave the house or ever get involved in the community, except for the sports my dad would force me into. i had little social interaction, and not many adults in my life to look up to other than my mom. i never felt like her daughter, i felt like i was some sister of hers. i never had a loving maternal figure in my life, save for a few teachers i have had, god bless them. now she only loves me because i can do things for her. when she hit me she didnt love me. when she screamed at me every day she didnt love me. when she told me to kill myself she didnt do that out of love. she doeesnt remember any of these things and claimed i made it up. i feel like im in hell. she had a hard life, to be fair...but i would raise my daughter differently. i would prefer to stay away from the word “burden” when referring to my children. 

i have a good life and ill never dispute that ever. i was born with a lot of privilege. so why am i like this? who knows. you feel like your whole life was stolen from you and that you missed so many oppurtunities that you could have taken but every bone in your body screamed “no”. its bittersweet knowing that i am finally getting help but where was this help 6 years ago? how much more could i have accomplished if i had people in my life supporting me? and that i only receive this support recently? i only had two adult figures in my life and they were both my parents, my mom being very emotianally abusive and self centered with the maturity of a 6 year old, and my distant father who barely made any effort to listen to me, both who denies any sign of mental illness or health defects of any sort when the signs were clear. 

why are my parents so concerned about my marriage when they should really be concerned about me?

I feel so emotionally stunted, as if i am still 15 years old, becasuse i am finally allowed to leave my damn house. what a life i have lived, so uneventful. never allowed to leave or wear what you want, say what you want, do what you want, because you are a muslim girl. fun is banned in islam, and in my family, apparently. no sense of humor, style, color, everything is so bland and monotonous it makes you want to scream. no passion, no motivation, just the same robotic shit for 20 years. why would i want to live a life like this i ask myself? for the rest of my fucking life? id rather die. at least in hell i can do what i want.

i hate being in my skin. sometimes i hate being in my body too. i am forced to wear mutliple layers of thick makeup every single fucking day for 12-16 hours straight because my skin is that fucking terrible and ugly. i cant imagine being naturally beatiful and having clear skin and then boasting about it, on top of that. its so infuriating. i am so ugly. no one can convince me otherwise. i feel so trapped so trapped no one even knows. no one will ever really understand. i dont expect them to. i want to do so much but i can only do so little. im too frail and weak to do anything. im always so tired, and sad, to make things worse. i wish i had so much potential but i dont. im dead already on the inside, like a rotted tree. what hope is there left.

sometimes i want to leave my hometown without telling anyone and never come back. that would be fun. then i can finally have the freedom i want and the ability to actually explore my life like i should. then i can finally choose my own path to the future. but i am confined in my own mind, in my own house, in my own family, in my own city. fuck this.

now i look ahead to a hopefully brighter future. progress and healing is very slow and gradual. the only growth i should focus on is myself. for the sake of myself. and for the sake of God. i will make it i have to keep saying it, speak it into existence, because if i dont, ill wither away.

[resilientreader]

1-98 for asks like we did a million years ago, I dare you

i knew the MOMENT i saw the notif in my inbox that it was gonna be YOU pulling this shit and i crossed my fingers when actually clicking, HOPING i wouldnt have to answer all 98, maybe you’ll be tame this time, but no! this is what you’re doing to me. and ykno what, Fine. u dare me and i Will do it. i hope u rb the asks post so i can do it to u too, tho

1. coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars

3. bubblegum

4. that smart student who always read instead of actually paying attention

5. soda from glass cups is the best

6. its hard to just Decide between all these styles so ill say which one applies to mine most, which i Gotta say has to b preppy even if i want like goth or grunge to b mixed in

7. headphones

8. good omens, fmab, castlevania, uhhhh. those are just the ones ive watched so far this summer

9. my grandparents’ home. which is kinda weird but i have a lot of summer memories there

10. i sucked at like Everything in p.e., there Was no best

11. leftovers

12. i cant choose a favorite playlist?? /some/ of them, tho, are soar my ethereal heart, neither here nor there, mountainside storms, and sync of my heartbeat. so like any of my more recent ones

13. lanyard

14. i had to google a list for this bc honestly i always eat just chocolates but i like starburst

15. fahrenheit 451 was a rly fun read. ray bradbury’s writing gave me inspo for metaphors and writing and such and it was rly nice

16. sprawled across one of those comfy armchairs where i can swing my legs over one arm n lay my head on the other one

17. my black converse

18. cool temperature and rain without storms, or a cloudy day that lets me take a nice walk

19. on my side if i can but on my back otherwise

20. on my laptop, in google docs, to be more specific

21. winnie the pooh

22. idk?? i try not to look to just one person for a source of “this is how i should be”, so i guess,,,, a mix of family members and then a couple like more famous ppl??? which would basically consist of one of my aunts, my dad, and jenna marbles, to keep my Brain Process for role model stuff simplified

23. i dunno if any of the habits i have are strange?? i bounce my right leg and my right hand kinda. like. shakes when im nervous. i cant rly think of anything else i do tho i Know i probably have other habits

24. amethyst or pyrite

25. ur really just assuming my memory is good enough for this but if i had to say, it’d be any popular song from 2009 specifically

26. hide in my room with a fan and ac

27. read with a blanket wrapped around me or smth

28. atlas: six by sleeping at last, flaws by bastille, atlas: five by sleeping at last, she by dodie, and neptune by sleeping at last. there are probably more/better ones but those are the first ones i found

29. listen. be open with me. talk with me. not to sound like that person, but sharing ur life secrets is a rly big ice breaker for me because it helps let me know i can trust u. but also idk im a really awkward person and can accidentally distance myself from ppl so when ppl notice theres smth up w me or even do the bare minimum of doing Their part to maintain a friendship, that’s always rad as shit when idk how to communicate what i need

30. my room, my high school’s auditorium, the local barnes and noble

31. black boots, black jeans, any button-up shirt that’ll match that combination OR a really cool sweatshirt

32. im a bad bitch, you cant kill me. road work ahead? uh, i sure hope it does. it is wednesday, my dudes! welcome to chili’s. i love you, bitch, and i ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitch.

33. probably “omg” or “oh my god”

34. sc johnson. a family company.

35. i dont even have one but on a good night like 10-11

36. the troll face memes

37. suitcases feel much more organized

38. lemonade

39. lemon cake

40. ummmmm....one time a tech/theatre kid left a paint can sitting out in the open accidentally and a person took a shit in it or smth then knocked over the can, spilled a bunch of paint, and tried to clean it up w a broom and proceeded to like snap the broom in half. then they ran away to leave the kids to clean it up the next day. i wasnt actually there for that but ive heard the story firsthand enough times to Know

41. my dad

42. jacket pockets

43. hoodie is what i wear, tho everything else is Very Good

44. lavender

45. fantasy, my dudes

46. this set of pjs i got for xmas w a soft tshirt and matching baggy flannel pants

47. colby jack

48. uhhh a banana?? i could probably give a better answer if i was more

49. i dont rly live by a quote or saying, i just Go for it

50. my sister has probably done smth before to like Break me

51. everything ever but mostly myself

52. arial

53. uhhh...kinda worn? my nails aren’t doin so good and i have a couple scratches and stuff that Still havent healed after a few weeks

54. get a move on

55. the ugly duckling

56. tradition is kinda vague but i like that it became tradition for me and my siblings to go to my grandparents’ home every summer

57. i think im still overcoming like everything ive been faced with ever

58. writing? listening, helping, giving advice. idk tbh like talents who?

59. "jesus christ, my dude”

60. a fantasy/comedy, or at least if its gonna be fantasy with death and stuff, it should be dope as fuck

61. "isn’t vulnerability the opposite of being in control?” from a webcomic called aerial magic. super simple but the entire scene leading up to it,,,,,so good

62. umm fuck! i dont kno whether favs r usually ones that i relate to or ones that i wanna b like but??? keith from voltron, jirou from bnha, chromedome and/or rewind from transformers/mtmte, sypha from castlevania, and jayfeather from warriors

63. planetary (go!) by mcr, the seed by aurora, hayloft by mother mother, the cup/halloween blues from relient k, choke by i dont know how but they found me

64. coolmath was THE shit

65. yes! two on my leg from a surgery i had to get to realign my femur, bc i snapped the bone in half

66. lavender, snowdrops, hibiscus

67. i dont really have any, mostly bc i have a hard time attaching like. That sorta meaning to just random objects, but i do still have a small teddy bear stashed safely away in my room from when i was a little babee

68. pickle-flavored pringles. disgusting. would not recommend

69. lions’ roars can be heard up to 5 miles away from the original source

70. right handed

71. horizontal stripes, i guess? there’s not much wrong with them but i just Never wear them

72. math

73. i dont usually eat /weird/ flavor combos, even tho ill eat basically anything, but i like ketchup in mac and cheese sometimes. or fries in shakes. chicken and waffles. stuff like that

74. 11

75. idek honestly, my memory is too bad

76. hashbrowns

77. i dont kno a Lot of plants off the top of my head other than the Basic ones but literally any flower in a windowsill is like bone apple teeth in my mind

78. sushi from a grocery store. publix taught me that grocery stores can, in fact, be trusted when needed

79. my school id photo

80. earth tones

81. fireflies

82. pc

83. writing

84. talk radio is nostalgic but podcasts are always more entertaining to actually listen to

84. polly pocket

85. mythology with a dash of fairytales

86. cupcakes, because of my dog’s name

87. abandonment

88. to grow unbreakable attachments with everyone i care very deeply about and grow into an old age with them, or something

89. i feel like answering this question totally honestly would hurt ppl’s feelings, but also i literally could think of like 4 people to put down for this and i’m bad at deciding, esp w smth like this, so. not to b vague but These People kno who they are

90. becoming a part of a certain website with a bad crowd and managing to pick out the good apples in such a rotten batch

91. boxes

92. lamps /and/ fairy lights

93. i dont rly have any but my parents call me hannah banana. that’s ab it, tho

94. fall/winter? it kinda is inconsistent because fall has bad weather in florida but winter is when like everything has Gone Wrong in life these past few years, but then fall has such a GOOD aesthetic and my birthday is in winter, so they’re pretty even rn

95. uhhh??? thats such a weird thing, to try and assign a “favorite” app, but the only thing i could think to say would be spotify just bc i use it so much on my phone, even if the app itself isnt the greatest

96. i havent set one, actually, bc im lazy and havent found anything that’d fit

97. 2 and a half

98. the part where fish were learning that they could walk on land

[outerspaceman]

1-50 b

This is going to be SO LONG BUT I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY (i do really enjoy doing these things anyway so thank you)

1. had sex?

indeed I have, but you already knew that

2. bought condoms?

surprisingly i don’t think ive ever bought any, i think whenever I needed them I either just had them from the other person or i got them from school

3. gotten pregnant?

nope, thankfully. that’d be worrying

4. failed a class?

i have. aka why i ended up in three different damn colleges. i failed a few at my first university. nothing in highschool and less somehow

5. kissed a boy?

yeeeeeep, my first kiss was with a dude. you figure maybe i’d know i was gay from that alone maybe

6. kissed a girl?

i’ve kissed many a girls. not as many boys tho

7. had a job?ive had several and nearly hated every damn one of them

8. left the house without my wallet?

too many times than im comfortable with when im driving

9. bullied someone on the internet?\

DEFINITELY no. i hate that shit so much it’s disgusting

10. sexted?

yes. a few times. i used to rp a lot too tbh, which is how i made a lot of my friends online when i was 15

11. had sex in public?

no. i’ve done very basic shit???? in public i think. but that’s about as far as that went. nothing beyond teasing or being drunk at a club but i digress

12. smoked weed?

ive tried a few times and i never get anything out of it. i cant inhale smoke into my lungs, which honestly i don’t consider to be that much of a bad thing

13. smoked cigarettes?

yes. i smoked vaguely regularly for a while. and by regularly it was like once every week or so. i smoked stale ass cigs for quite a while. i’ve stopped completely tho unless im drinking. or at cons

14. smoked a cigar?

dear god no. even the smell is disgusting. 

15. drank alcohol?

i think at this point we all know my relationship with chasing vodka down with a wine cooler. i love drinking, but i dont do it often at all

16. been to a wedding?

yes! my dads, almost my brothers, and my bro’s mother’s. my family is a wreck honestly. 

17. been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

i feel like anyone on this fucking mess of a website has done this at least once in their life. 

18. watched tv for 5 hours straight?

i haven’t straight watched cable tv for 5 hours, but i’ve definitely watched like netflix or hulu and shit for that long

19. been late for school?

ive never not been late to something at least once

20. kissed in the rain?

yes, and it’s not that cracked up to be. it’s more funny than romantic

21. showered with someone else?

yes. only partners tho

22. been outside my home country?

no, sadly. one day i’d love to travel everywhere 

23. been on a road trip longer than 5 hours?

yes, i’ve driven down to florida more than 20 ish times during my life. that’s a 24 hour drive straight from where i live. i love road trips. 

24. had lice?

once when i was a kid. i still remember my dad attempting to wash my hair. overall it was a bad experience. 

25. gotten my heart broken?

i just did yesterday when i thought about ivan and boyd potentially getting into a fight about sin. otherwords, yeah. a lot more times than I’d like to think about. but i think i feel heartbroken about most things eventually. i think with my heart more than anything

26. had a credit card?

not yet, but im being forced into the process of getting one by my credit union 

27. been to a professional sports game?

a few, yeah. It was mostly for family or friends sake. I’m not the biggest fan of sports.

28. broken a bone?

when I was really young I got a kidney infection and they had to strap a board to my arm. for years I thought I broke my arm. Surprisingly I’ve never broken a bone

29. been unhappy about my weight?

i feel like anyone who lives in america has been unhappy about their weight at least once in their life

30. won a trophy?

a few. one for soccer, a few for dance, the rest for grades i think. i cheated to get a math one, because I couldn’t do those times tables fast enough. I just memorized the number layout

31. cut myself?

when I was younger I used to. It was a rough time. I had a scar for a long time because of one of them. I don’t know what happened to it

32. been on a diet?

i dont know if i would count forcing yourself to not eat as a necessary diet, so no I haven’t been

33. rode in a taxi?

nope. not once. i for some reason didnt even think michigan had taxis until i started going to cons and seeing them

34. stayed up for 24 hours or more?

i do this more often than you’d think. i do this more often than actually get a decent amount of sleep

35. been to a concert?

yes. i love concerts honestly. one of the best experiences i’ve had and thankfully ive been to a lot of them

36. had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yeah. quite a few times

37. had braces?

nope. i just kind of have fucked up teeth on the bottom, but it’s never really bothered me

38. wore make up?

yeah, lots of times. i wouldn’t say im good at it, but i’ve worn it a lot

39. lost my virginity before I was 16?

uhhhhhhhhh??? yeah actually. I think I was 15 the first time. 

40. kissed someone a different race than myself?

yeah, a few times. ive kissed a lot of people tbh

41. Snuck out of the house?

yeah. i used to all the time. i got good at lying about it too. i was a problem child when i was younger 

42. had oral sex?

yeah. i’ve received it more than given considering I honestly really hate doing it, but yeah

43. dyed my hair?

over the last few years I’ve had died hair more than natural tbh

44. met someone famous?

YES ACTUALLY. i met the mystery//skulls guy. he’s a sweetheart. there’s been others but I can’t remember atm 

45. been on vacation?

yes, and I wish I could go on one again

46. been on a boat?

yes but wow it’s been so long. i miss being on boats, i love it so much

47. been on an airplane?

yeah, a few times. they’re weird 

48. prank called someone?

I have quite a long time ago. But i can hardly actually call people now let alone fuckin prank call someone

49. taken a pregnancy test?

I would say that maybe I have as a joke at some point, but I don’t honestly think I have

50. been suspended from school?

no, but I’ve been threatened to be suspended. honestly, how I never was I’m not really sure