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#i cant explain how they make me feel as a person
just-null · 1 year
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i've always wanted to try out this trend! i didnt think i drew him that different. i was wrong. very wrong.
hes so baby girl in my style what the fuck. oh i know, i was just drawing what gege meant to draw. dw, i got his telepathic brainwaves 👍
[time lapse + my headcanons for Noritoshi's appearance under the cut]
some headcanons i have while drawing him are semi obvious while others are bc i like it ahehahhaheha
cupid's bow lips! this was semi inspired by Mizuki Umetsu, the actor for Noritoshi in the jjk stage play! hes so. pretty. perfect guy for the role imo! i was captivated therefore my views changed.
longer hair! the thought that his bangs(? are the same length, or longer, as the rest of his hair is nice.. it also makes his inevitable haircut much more refreshing! i also just like long hair and its a fucking waste not to do whatever the i want.
thicker brows and visible eyelashes! i naturally draw thicker eyebrows because it looks pretty, but the eyelashes is so fucking canon bro. dont even fight me on this, you'll lose. i read a fic about Noritoshi where it said he took good care of himself and his appearance inspired jealousy. that fucked me up man, so now i draw him as beautiful as i can.
monolids! I've looked through the manga and i think its highly implied that Noritoshi has monolids? yk those lines in between the eye and eyebrow, he doesnt have them in the manga. i thought it was because of the expressions he had, but no. the others have them, except geto! so geto also having monolids is so fr in my head. i like that feature abt him.
loose hairs! the hairs that i draw on his face. they make him look so cute and a bit more relaxed. he's not trying to be perfect nor have a single strand out of place. he's just a bit more at ease... though if there's something important he has to go through, he sharpens up. becomes.. stiffer?
I UNINTENTIONALLY MADE HIS CHEST LOOK A BIT BIGGER IN MY STYLE AND I WANT TO APOLOGIZE, BUT I'D BE A LIAR. DOES THIS COUNT AS A HEADCANON??? I JUST THINK... SINCE. YK. HES AN ARCHER. AND DOES TRAINING. AND COMBAT. AND DOES ALL THOSE HIGH JUMPS... HIS CHEST. ITD BE A BIT BIGGER FOR HIS STATURE.. omfg. that'd imply that his legs are fucking insane. and his arms too, since he has to pull back all those arrows so quickly.. oh my fuck. this. this is a revelation. what are you hiding under those robes noritoshi...???? one day.. one day we'll see...
oh my fucking god i forgot that i wrote shit while drawing. please ignore my fucking stupid writings AND THE STUPID ASS THING IN THE MIDDLE I FORGOT ABT WHILE DRAWING..
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puppyeared · 9 months
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i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand
#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona#its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around#one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them#making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth#i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since#memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an#association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont#fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell#on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one#dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong#despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them#interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing#i struggle find a balance between those two things#actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of#her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard#or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it??#maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard#although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh#yapping#oc talk#oc
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bunnihearted · 11 days
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being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me
#irl mostly. but even online. i cannot connect or find communities or support systems the way most of u can#even if i do have found great connections and one connection in particular im more than grateful for#but i have had so much of my humanness torn off for so long that i am awkward and useless in handling it#but yeah idk :/ im just so profoundly jealous of how everyone can just fit into a slot#even online when ppl talk abt being anxious and stuff they still have ppl to talk to#or ppl irl to hang out with and im like.. wow... i cant even do that :/#it is just so lonely in general. and it has made me confused and incapable of knowing how to be a human#and fully realise and actualize the one connection i do have#if i had gotten to learn and now know how to be a human and a person i would've... been a person#but now i feel so removed and far away from that idek how...#like im at a point where i cant even have simple and shallow conversations online bc im like so useless#maybe only other ppl with avpd and who have been socially rejected and isolated and alienated can fully understand what i mean#it is so scary and weird and i feel such deep envy for how people can just like... talk to eo. irl and online. i dont get it#and like the connection i do have that i mention bc it is so important to me.. that does all of those things#but it is like im so not used to anyone even keep wanting to have a connection with me#that i feel like bambi on ice 💀 for lack of a better metaphor#and inside of me idk how to dare to open up to it bc i've been numb and shut off i just dont know#i dont know. but i want to but idk how.#ahhhhhh wanna scream bc just trying to describe it so i can make sense of it is frustrating!!!!#it also sucks bc other ppl really dont seem to get how fkn weird and scary it is to feel so removed from humanness#and not even be able to do most basic human people things most ppl who are mentally ill or anxious do.. i cant even do that idk#talking and communicating is the main thing like ppl do not understand how fkn hard it is for me to even have a simple convo#and i cant explain it bc theres no way someone who doesnt feel the same and have avpd could get it...#but idk. i just hate all of this and i wish i had a normal functioning brain. i just wanna be like everyone else#even ppl w social anxiety are capable of having friends. and im terrified of losing the only connection i've somehow been lucky to get#in my hands??? im so scared of losing that but idk HOW to be a person and idk!!! idk!!#other ppl dont even think abt these things im so fkn jealous lmao#anyway whatever 😔
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greasydumbfuck · 2 months
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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense#hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like#so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw#where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway#like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL#but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn#theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it#hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much#like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit#is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now#so many fun ways to interpret this#<guy who is not having fun interpreting this#wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough#god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only#i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling
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eclaire-went-bam · 4 months
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bcs i'm aware of how i automatically percieve people, i earnestly try to give the benefit of the doubt a lot. i tend to believe people are Actually Just That Dumb™ when they're joking about something, so i try to get ahead of that & tell myself people are joking when they say something stupid, so that i don't look stupid
all i've learnt in doing that, is most of the time, people aren't joking. they actually did mean what they say, & i made the situation 10× worse by laughing at what they said.
not only does it reinforce the idea in my head that people are Dumb so i need to take the reins on literally Everything, but it also leads people to believe i'm making fun of them for saying something silly & talking to me less, when, if i knew it were a genuine thing they thought, i would have gladly explained it without judgement
but i don't really know how to stop treating them as jokes, because what if they ARE joking so they laugh at me for how Stupid i am for taking the bait? i can't handle being made a fool of, i think i'd rather die
#this is in part bcs my father was like this all the time i believe#i'd talk abt one of my special interests & he'd deliberately say something stupid about it#so that he could laugh at me whenever i explained how it actually worked#a lotta ppl in my family tend to pretend to be dumb around me actually. so i gave up on talking abt science special interests#i do have personal gripes with words like “stupid” & “dumb” so know in my head i Know they're toxic & have ableist connotations#but my automatic kneejerk reaction to things is to think Stupid even if i don't say it bcs of the constantly devaluing of everyone around me#everything's a competition. don't lose or show your hand and things will be better for you.#don't give people a reason to think you're incompetent. isolation is better than risking danger & ridicule so long if it's isolation because#you're on a higher plane than everybody else.#or something like that#it's not that deep#npd#narcissistic personality disorder#cluster b#autism#bcs i cant with tones#i guess this may be a fine way of looking at things on the internet with strangers bcs bait is rlly annoying#however when it comes to interpersonal relationships irl and online it's a problem. especially when logically you KNOW your circle doesn't#rlly have anyone who pretends to be stupid to you so they can laugh at you. i think they will anyways.#if anything *i* tend to be like that to people i like less. i pretend to be stupid abt something so they can mansplain it to me & i get#silent supply off so easily having control over what they're feeling towards me & what they're doing even if they think They have the reins#in the discussion. tho i won't view it as making ppl take the bait & i won't openly mock people#i'm a hypocrite
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triglycercule · 13 days
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me when i find the PERFECT mtt song (yamitsuki,,,,,,,, maretu my king how did you do it,,,,,,,,,,,,, literally HOW did you do it why is this song weirdly accurate wtf and its for a completely different character 2??? HOW DID YOU DO THIS??? THE ENTIRE FUCKING SONG FITS??? THE ENTIRE SONG COULD BE MADE TO HAVE CONNECTIONS WITH ONLY MILD REACHING??? HELLO??????) (this translation!!!) (the translation is not.linking i will be shooting myself. its the on on the vocaloid wiki NOTthe video....)
literally like. 1/3 is horror. 1/3 is dust. and then the last is killer. in that order. the first 2 verses talk about bloodshot pain (bloodshot EYES.... HORROR'S EYE) and a rotting fatal wound (THE FUCKING HEAD CRACK!!! HIS GODDAMN HEAD WOUND!!!!). commiting brutality. i dont think much else is needed. wrong/right and judging biases,,,,, jesus fuck wtf. AND THEN in the next verse there's a mention of "starving for necessary evil" HELLO!!!! HELLO!!!!!!! him starving himself while also feeding snowdin human which totally sucks,,,,,, horror sans,,,,,,???? chorus of shrill voices (duh snowdin. or also could be undyne and royale guard. i like snowdin more). and then the last line of the second verse mentions sadism. nothing more to say. horror sans i mayhaps perchance mightve just encountered you in a song. or maybe the translation is freakily accurate and the song itself isnt that specific (probably but hey i can dream)
and then th next 2 verses r dust except i dont really know about the first verse but also a line that says "this is the death of the conflict, come and see me" could be referring to the human's death which like. man. and then the next verse is just dust sans but in a single verse. give me more excellent pain could be interpreted as LV but also the mental pain that comes with yk..... killing all you love.LOVE. LV. he needs more LV... anyways. mad off the beaten track. MAD. MENTION OF MAD LIKE CRAZY LIKE MAD TIME LIKE DUST SANS!!!! echoes of a haughty voice resound,,,,, phantom paps,,,,, "severe punishment, 100 renouned sights, i long for pure pessimism" i cant explain this one well i think but just think about it okay. this time you get to be the one coming up with the ideas (σ´∀`)σ
killer only has one verse that i can link this song 2 but i also think its th most freakily accurate. verse 1 is "through instantaneous joy, entertain me for my whole life, i'm cunningly"LUCKY". i get completely bored. give me pleasure without worry. and now, right away." and then "i'd rather head to eternal darkness. i'll abide by you always, emptily "HAPPY". i shed tears from my clear white eyes. come and show me your best smile!" HELP HELP HELP THEYRE SHOOTING ME HELP HELP!!!! THEY JUMPING ME (these lyrics) because WTFyhis isFREAKILY accurate. the entire first verse and its spiel on boredom and having someone else manage the entertainment/emotions,,,, and the cunningly lucky part is just. i think the word cunning is just really good to describe killer (sneaky little bastard) and then he's "lucky" emphasis on quotes because idk he got chosen for whatever the fuck his chara wants. what luck. really bad luck but whatever. and then MORE on the following another person and EMPTILY!!! EMPTY!!! KILLER FEEL NOTHING EMPTY!!!! fake happy too,,,, and killer has white eyelights sooo IM NOT REACHING!!! also he literally cries
in conclusion MARETU is a god amongst men and somehow this song managed to fit the mtt i have no idea how. next coming up: how NAMIDA fits horror. how thirst fits dust. how i'm high fits killer. idk if i already said this one probably did BUT JUST IN CASE maretu also has maegamist,,,,, maretu i knew i listened to you for a reason. so i could make totally irrational and unreasonable connections of your songs to the fucking murder time trio of all things. what joy
#me when i complain about not listening to music in english and then i see this GEM#yk what... its okay i'll never get to understand songs on the first listen#its OK that ill never get to have it easy when it comes to lyric translations...... ITS OK!#i might totally be upset that i cant just point to a song and be like this is mtt or something because i have to check the fucking wiki#this is your sign to listen to more vocaloid. you probably already do but like. LISTEN TO MORE#last years spotify wrapped for me was all pepoyo can i be considered a true fan now#everysong is murder time trio if you reach hard enough. if you just SQUINT..... you can see them in it#cannot believe ive been listening to this the entire time and i never checked the lyrics to see#see this is why!!! im missing out on mtt content if i dont check lyrics!!!!!!!!#and the songs a fucking banger too. i love how dramatic snd threatening it gets on the killer section#idk i just think the chanting in the background is cool. and so killer. thats him btw. he's waving wave back to him!!!!!#i cant WAIT for Spotify wrapped this year.... im so excited to see#i already know who's gonna be number 1 (my queen pepoyo) but still#i found lonePi later in this year so i wanna know if lonepi managed to beat maretu or not. probably not idk#theres a lot of songs i consider mtt related. theyre in a differently filed section of music in my head than everything else#tricule rant#days of not posting about mtt has my brain thinking about them in overtime#or these are just built up ideas from the past few days i didnt talk about. eitherway a person that thinks all the time#i dont feel like making more posts explaining those last few songs i mentioned in the last paragraph#if you read the lyrics on the wiki youll understand. if not you need to adapt my mindset
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dykedvonte · 5 months
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Discussing the NCR (Fallouts NV's Military Industrial Complex)
Fallout regularly discusses the idea of the military, its faults, its strengths, and most importantly, the psycho-social aspects of it regarding those who are members. We have seen a direct critique of the military generalized through the Enclave's overt nationalism, the hoarding of resources and indoctrination through the Brotherhood of Steel, and an almost eerily modern critique of the whole military-industrial complex through the NCR in New Vegas. In these series of posts, I will be focusing primarily if not exclusively on the last one.
The NCR we see in the game is strictly the military side of things and the depiction of active occupation during a time of eminent war, conflicting factions, and resource scarcity. It is in this we are missing a major factor that negatively affects the view of the NCR in the game and out: Civilian life along with citizen opinion on the military. While we do get Mojave civilian opinion on the military (often neutral or negative) we do not get those who are New California Republic citizens, not those who actually discuss the military more so not understanding the importance of the occupation and the President's choices.
We do not see how life is regularly lived by the average citizen as we have not seen New California in New Vegas, though, we get words and glimpses that the people are relatively content in the growing country minus the fact many people are not happy with the choice of encroaching on the Mojave. This most similarly reflects it's real-world application that many civilian citizens reject acquisition and war due to the economic effects it has on the country and the general violence/loss associated.
In this, we come to an issue of losing a perspective that is unique to the NCR as a military representative. The Brotherhood is notably a place where its active members are intertwined with its efforts, the young are raised to be scribes, paladins, etc... To where even if one is not fighting for The Brotherhood, they are still intertwined, it's propaganda is the life. The Enclave is even more cut n' dry in that it is mostly made up of government representatives. It is a group even smaller than the former, even more selective and intertwined that their propaganda IS a form of Eugenics. The NCR is unique in that there is a clear distinction between what is the military force, the civilian population, and the choice if one wants to be a part of the former.
There is a distinct difference in the cultures of the factions you are born into and those you must enlist or join (forcibly for some). While this is a long-winded way to get into the actual discussion I want to facilitate throughout these posts I wanted an initial background post to understand the aspects I am and am not exploring and explaining along with a hub post to link everything I intend to discuss in the coming days and weeks, starting with:
Why Do People Join the NCR?
...which will be discussed and linked back here like everything else regarding to this topic.
Links: TBA
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ashorterurl · 5 months
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netherdevil · 2 months
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unnormal vivilly dweller thoughts in my head
#“I'm right next to you” are we about to kiss. are you trying to kiss me right neow#i hate the chase sequence part (corny and unoriginal) but everything else is so perfect#hEeEeLP MEeEeEE#i fuckign love vivilly anyway but i think the vivilly dweller is what Really did it fr me#SERIOUSLY THOUGJ WHAT THE FUCK#i would make a palpers dweller but i dont think my computer can with how shit it is rn#like i definitely will at some point (unless someone beats me to it) but i just can't rn 😭#i csnt wait for august viv face reveal guys!!!! YAY!!!! idc what he looks like he will always be so splinkoid#plus whatever characteristics he has i can kinda just add on to my design to him behind his mask#i color his skin as dark grey just for his mc skin but seeing his snapchat n stuff makes me wanna show him off as rhe eyeblinding man he is#or not! who knows . i have a tendency to do whatever#okay speakijg of his face reveal#i have something i want to explain to the wall#a part of me is hoping he isnt generic conventionally attractive guy 38495839488#the rest of me is neutral because idrc#the reason why is most likely because i would feel a deeper connection to him if we shared similar facial features#it's a good reason i think? but still weird to have because i shouldnt really care what he looks like at all#idk what to expect really but i guess i should be open minded abt it#I JUST. a lot of how i perceive him is through his mc character#that played a big part in how i grew to like him so much#but he ISN'T emo hoodie minecraft shyguy!!!#however i can still enjoy the 'persona' he has online. chill sarcastic insane funny blocky shyguy who does a little (A LOT OF) trolling#anyway back to what i was saying#hope bro isn't majestic as fuck irl#IF IT'S ANYTHING LIKE DREAM I'M GOING TO CRY#DREAM IS MAJESTIC AS FUCK I CANT EVEN WITH THAT MAN#i will be supportive anyway ofc because 1) i dont care even though i just proved that i do 2) i can separate persona from irl person 3)...U#IM SO NORMAL#also we're not goijg toctalkcabou t the dream thing. if youre my irl yoy didnt aee this (PLEASE DONT UNFRIEND ME OELASE#DONT LEAVE JUST FORGER Iなはoops didnt mean to type thatSAID THAT OKAY
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skitskatdacat63 · 9 months
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Gah when I wake up I need to write a meta abt the intersection of ships bcs its suddenly hit me in the head 😭 why do I always have such great prose in my head when im trying to fall asleep WAHHH
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g0thsoojin · 28 days
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📓🦇
#honestlyyyu#life without him is so boring....#idk... just imagining my life without him makes me feel bored lol#i want to be with him i think ...#but it is difficult bc we live on two different continents#and relationships between nations are difficult bc you're not allowed to just move anywhere lol#idk how it could work#plus ... also he's 20+ years older than me.. to me it isnt an issue more than#1) he wont live as long as me (if we both die of old age that is lol)#2) everyone are very judgemental and even if both of us mainly want to just have us and not any social circles#it will be hard.. and how am i supposed to tell my mom....?#the thing with that is hard because of my avpd.. im not normal#i never will be. even if i like met a guy my age now in school and we started dating i wouldnt want to tell me my mom#i cant explain how i feel to normal ppl but yeah... im just someone who wants to live isolated to myself#i dont want to be like yeah hi mom heres my bf who i fuck and love and now lets go for family dinner woooop#idk ... i could never. i just cannot do that normal life.#so then its like.. it isnt purely bc im 'ashamed' of him and the age gap#im just someone who feels shame about everything.... so i wouldnt wanna tell my mom anyway#but then it feels like im 'betraying' her. if i move away to another country to be happy on my own#and she wont even ever get to meet my bf or hear abt him... i'll get married (bc of convenience) and she wont know#that feels bad.. like im hurting her. but i know in my heart that even if i met a bf my own age here#i would NEVER want a wedding. my avpd.. im not a normal functioning person.. i'd want just me and the other person there. not infront of my#family... idk i just cant do normal life things..#maybe sometimes i dream abt having a few friends and being cared for. but that is a DREAM#theres no way of knowing if i'd ever find ppl like that. im also very different and cant connect to basically anyone i meet fkn EVER!!!!!#he's the only one i've ever met that im this compatible with.. and he is real. and i know him. should i let go of him just for ppl i havent#even met? who i might never even meet? bc yeah the thing is that with him we wouldnt have a conventional life. it'd be just us#and thats not really a bad thing. its just that w my avpd i never know what i really want bc i want smth but when it gets real#and i can actually have it suddenly i dont anymore. and i want the other thing i didnt want before...#so i have sm fears.. what if i choose him but then will never get that comfortable job in a cozy school and my own apartment
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bunnihearted · 10 months
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❄️🐇❕
#i feel like im going insane and tonight it's esp bad so i need to.... vent :$#some time ago i had the fortune of a very very wonderful person entering my life. and since day one BOOM i think of them every single day#im not even exaggerating.. like every single day i just think and daydream of them. i've had sm extra inabiloty to focus -#bc i just need to constantly stop and think of them.....#there is so much abt them to adore and admire. so much!!!! i didnt know someone like them could exist..#i love talking to them and i just wanna kno everything there is to know abt them!!! everything regarding interests me#there's also the aspect of how i feel talking to them. i know they dont judge the same way as other ppl do so it's easier to talk to them#tho i still have avpd so i often start over explaining myself and get insecure etc etc. i need to get out of my head!!!!#idk.. idk... it has never been like this for me. so im also scared#what do i do.. how do i navigate this? i've never been here before and i feel lost even if it's def not a bad place to be in#every single day... i just wish that i could be with them more and more. this wish never calms down it just gets bigger#but. how? how do i break this loop and make it into reality? is it only gonna stay as a desire and a daydream? :(( i rlly dont want that#im scared too. bc what if i want and can make it my reality but it just wont happen? what if it just wont#im also not the only one in this equation that decides. what if... i have to face rejection.. what if im a disappointment. what if what if#i dont know!! i only know that i think of them all day every day. it gets more nd more intense each day.#i also get more sure that it's what i want...#anywayyyy. im actually.. driving myself insane with how obsessively i think of this#i cant quite put it into words but i had to get at least some of it off my chest#like how. do i express my feelings to them. how do i turn it into reality. how do i face that fear of the unknown and smth i've never done#but also how do i face that fear and prepare for the fact that even if i want smth dreams made into reality cant be certain.#there r so many life things that decide what happens too.... not just my will and desire#but as well as.. how do i prqepare myself to deal with the potential oh whoops maybe im the only one who rlly want this.#maybe this is onesided maybe my feelings just flew out of control nd idk how to reel them back in whoops.#like i dont know at all what could happen.. all i know is what i wish.. hmm gosh this is all just making my head spin every day.
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hecksupremechips · 3 months
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My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#its like i cant get ahead of myself when talking about him cuz theres still a lot not revealed by the end of ch2 but STILLLL#i was keeping my opinions on characters pretty neutral this whole playthrough though my bias towards gin and kai was very apparent lol#and i did start screaming in agony reliving my worst nightmare joe dying#i dont think my sister was nearly as torn up about it as i was though like god ill still never get over it#the first time i played i actually gross sobbed like maybe i was just sleep deprived but i was inconsolable literally never cried that hard#but yeah we did the second main game today and i was like#‘not trying to persuade your vote but heres one million reasons why we should let shin live ahaha’#i dont think she was very happy with her vote aldnks#but yeah i really am gonna be sooo annoying next time we play im literally gonna bring pages of shin analysis with me that i can gush about#it is an interesting thing this character cuz to me like everything about him is so clear like even from the beginning i just didnt buy#the idea that he was genuinely an asshole i knew there had to have been something more going on#and idk if ive made it clear guys…but hes exactly like me guys hes just like me fr#his story hits so hard it feels like my own self insert which is weird cuz obviously thats not true#but like i feel like its either you get it or you dont and if you dont understand exactly what this character feels cuz you feel it yourself#i feel like so much of him just wont make any sense to you#maybe im just being pretentious idk but like if you cant relate to his abuse and just#very blatant bpd then I feel like youll just judge him on how good or badof a person he is#like it just doesnt feel like itd hit in the same way like when i see this character talking about being hopeless and the way his trauma#makes him act irrationally like god it just clicks so hard it makes so much sense and i can physically feel it through the screen#I MAY BE FERAL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER TO AN ABSURD DEGREE SHHH#basically what im getting at is i feel if i dont over explain everything about this character to other people i fear they just Wont Get It#and that they will be judgmental which idk i guess makes me defensive#anyway yeah i just enjoy getting to re experience the spiral this guy has given me and i will be thinking about it a lot tonight
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katyspersonal · 11 months
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wait, there are "enemy" blogs you want to stay in the fandom? isn't it better if they stay away, if they're annoying enough to be "enemies"?
Well, it is not a real """enemy""", hence why I used three whole pairs of quotation marks and not one x) And it is a singular, not plural.
The problem with BB fandom is that it is like... in a crisis? Not only the truly active part of it is like, same 20 people for years now, but also there is a hegemony of the same characters, same ships, same takes, same headcanons, same designs for unseen characters... People that join in the fandom see what fans are up to, but since most of the activity is the popular girls (gender neutral) of the school who are all tight mutuals group doing the thing of the week they share (usually when it happens you can blame a Discord server), these new people assume that this is what will fly, also that this is what is "canon". They're yet to discover that there are different interpretations, different possibilities, alternative ships..... but they now will not, because they already got swayed by influence. The cycle continues.
The """enemy""", that I only call such because we seriously didn't get along as people and not because they did something bad, is very different though! They are not annoying! They appear to be an individualist, they are touching ideas and characters fandom practically abandoned, they draw what THEY like and not what is a current set fun trend, they do not try to throw a bone to the community-
It is just refreshing to see something unique and interesting! I am the type that actually goes insane if I have to see the same thing over and over. I'd start hating my favorite ships if I never could see alternatives, ffs! My idea of ideal small fandom is various individuals doing cool stuff and simply sharing with each other, rather than there being a "core" that sets the trends and everyone outside of these trends being passively-aggressively ignored for "wrong" takes, "wrong" ships or "characters no one will care about". There should be more users that radiate such strong individuality and creativity instead of resorting to being just another gear in the machine! I would not be as petty as to wish for someone actually interesting to leave the fandom over personal things. My real enemies, on the other hand, are not creative at all. Well, one of them used to be but completely lost the spark.
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triglycercule · 2 days
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i love doodling swapinverse like hello drawing characters aside from the normal mtt is lowkey therapeutic 🧡🧡🧡 anyways i FINALLY FINALLY finished crash's lore!!!! and vice.SER is connected to him,,,, theyre interconnected!!! i forgot how much i liked crash's design (not the design but all the little gimmicks in the design. figuring out all the hanging ribbon bits is annoying but hey it looks good)
#outertale does not exist in swapinverse anymore. how quaint#dude thalia and melpomene are th only ones that r like. 100% good#I NEED TO MAKE MORE GOOD AND NICE CHARACTERS😭😭😭😭#mst..... recreators (qip name 4 siphon n crash?) and vice.SER........ theyre all EVIL (or have evil goals)#i WAS thinking doing something with reaper because i adore his design and aesthetic and i wanna combine it with SOMETHING idk what#anyways if core frisk error which is supposed to be vice.SER exists then should normal core frisk exist too?????#i mean i dont think that just because a core frisk role esque person exists doesnt mean the role is instantly filled up#the mst and mtt co exist in swapinverse but those 3 are like.... NORMAL aus. not outcodss n stuff#i love the giant lance thing i gave crash. i mean the ribbons can form any weapon and take any shape (kinda like puella magi mami's guns)#but like..... it just is so cool i love characters that use multiple weapons#i LOVE (haha) every single little gimmick thing i give swapinverse characters. the tiny details is what i adore giving them#if you catch me not posting 4 a bit its probably just bc im working on swapinverse or jk fashion au. or maybe ive seriously just lost motiva#anyways i have a few banger rants in my drafts ive yet to elaborate om but just like....... i dont feel like it#someon needs to wrangle those posts out of my tired lazy arms#lowkey why do siphon and crash remind me of kanade and mafuyu. idk i cant explain#if you cut vice.ser in half it would be like jelly with binary in it. i wanna eat him#he would tingle on my tongue but thats just the static. eating yhe glasses would be difficult bit they dont have lenses so its ok#i drew them both looking at us but i think that vice.ser is the only true one always looking at US.looking out from inside#god i love swapinverse sooo much i wish i could get it done faster and be goatedly good with motivation. a shame#but i do think that i may be finishing up the character descriptions 500% ish sure#SO THEN THAT MEANS I CAN WORK ON THE ACTUAL STORY!!!! WOOOOO#ive already decided that theres gonna be mentions of me myself and i in it. i love meta storytelling#im cursed with perpetually sweaty hands i hate having to draw on slighty damp paper. nobody understands me#UGH im getting too happy in life im starting to act weird in public and offering to help people. i need to stop#anyways just school doodles!!! because in the period where they take our phones i have naught to do but draw#i need to get back (start) my english reading. and then help my friend with a few questions on her homework. how joyous#and then i can get back to my BETTER homework (working on swapinverse :3)#crash managed to destroy outertale in his lore i wonder how many worlds vice.SER will destroy#actually if hes supposed to be core frisk error then i should make him NOT destroy worlds right???? right#tricule rant
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dlnqnt · 5 months
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baby this is the worst example of career inspiration i have ever read
#ok so im gonna admit smth here#i did watch i am sam as part of a yms livestreamed watch along#idk how to explain this other than i think the choices for this film to be made and completed are alien to me#sean penn plays an intellectually disabled man who gains custody of a daughter he fathered w a homeless woman he offered to let stay w him#i am sam is in the realm of movies like riding the bus w my sister and tiptoes#i rly dont know how to explain bcus idk how these movies get made#like ig everyone involved thinks theyre being altruistic in making a big budget film abt smth like a disability#but it always feels off probably bcus of the casting and overall acting choices#like for tiptoes it stars gary oldman in and i quote 'his most daring role yet' and#he plays a little person but u and i know he isnt so how does he do that? he walked on his knees#the film is packed to the brim w actual little people who are actors so. why gary oldman on his knees ???#peter dinklage is fucking in it in a prominent role#like. how do i explain i am sam. it's so fucking weird how did it get made how did they get big name actors#dakoto fanning michelle pfeiffer and laura dern are in this how does this happen#the movie tries to be so heartwarming but i'm lost w sean penn's performance i'm lost w his characterization#so i find this in wikipedia im not gonna explain rn and i'm just like. I AM SAM ???????????????? babygirl u gotta be kidding#i will elaborate if asked specific questions but rn i cant even fathom this sentence so pls give me a moment
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