#i cant stop seeing his knee as a boot i had to do something

[cxrsed-angel]

Similar Worries

Word count: 3k

Warnings: angst, age gap (reader in her 20s, joel in his 50s).

A/N: I wrote this immediately after ep 6. There are spoilers for the episode. gif credits: @joel-miller

You had been walking in the woods for few hours after you left the couple’s cabin. You were in the back talking to Ellie, telling her how she cant go around tell people they’re like a thousand, especially when they didn't kill you and had given you soup.

When you see Joel stop walking, you walk up closer and see him breathing heavier. You put your hand on his shoulder, watching in fear as he grabbed his chest; you didn't know what to do if he had a heart attack in the middle of the fucking woods in the snow. 

“Joel, what's wrong, are you okay.” you watch in a panic as he nods his head, but he's still breathing heavily. You look around, trying to find somewhere for him to sit but there’s nothing. You try to calm yourself because the last thing you need is to freak out, making Ellie even more scared. You turned to look at Ellie but she was frozen in fear staring as Joel continue struggling to breathe behind you. Your attention is back on him when you heard his voice. 

“Im fine, just the cold air.” he said slowly, still trying to catch his breath; Ellie nods and walks closer.  But you stay silent, frozen in fear trying to rake your brain for any information on heart attacks but you come up blank. You realized didn't know what you would do if he had a heart attack; you're more mad at yourself at the fact that this situation hadn’t even crossed your mind. 

“Good because I don't know what we would do if you had a fucking heart attack right there.” You hear Joel let out a small laugh at Ellie’s joke as she lightly slapping his back as the two of them continued to walk ahead. But you didn't believe him. Ellie was right; what do you do if he has fucking heart attack in the middle of the goddamn forest in the snow. You knew it was something more than the cold air but decided not to press on it. But you kept an eye on him the rest of the way. 

The whole time you were walking, you were quiet. You tried not to show it but, it really scared you, it made you realize how old Joel was compared to; you always knew of course. When he complained about his knees when going upstairs, he talked about his back pain from sleeping on the ground countless nights. But it was always light-hearted, not life or death. You knew he had bad hearing from shooting, but this scared the shit out of you. 

When you were surrounded by the group, you saw Joel was different again, he was off, but you didn't have time to focus on it. You were just relieved they didn't shoot anyone. As you rode on the back of Joel’s horse, all that replayed in your head was how Joel seemed off. Something in his eyes that you couldn't quite figure out. You think back and remember he seemed off ever since you guys had left Kanas; you just never noticed until now, and with the troubled breathing, you were starting to get concerned. 

After Maria and Tommy gave you guys food and told you what house you would be in you immediately needed to show, you also thought it was best to let Joel talk to his brother alone. You went into what you assumed was the main bedroom to shower. After the shower and changing into some clothes, you sit on the bed, and you could hear Maria come and talk to Ellie, you knew you should see what they were talking about, but you figured Maria wouldn't do anything. As you sit on the bed, you couldn't stop seeing Joel struggling to breathe, and how helpless you were, you didn't know what to do, you couldn't save him you just watched. You had gotten lucky today, but one day you're not gonna be lucky; what if you can't save him, just freeze there like you did today? Tears fall down your face as you realize how little you could do.

You hear boots come in the room and assume it was Joel; you look up and see him looking at you. You could tell had been crying, you expect him to sit down next to you, but he stays standing, staring at you. “Have you been crying,” you asked quietly, looking at him, You could see in his eyes something wasn't right, and you wondered if it was something had happened. You waited for him to say something, but he remained silent, staring at you. You try not to sniffle but couldn't help it. 

“Have you been crying.” he repeats as he steps closer to the bed, but you weren't gonna let him change the topic off of him. 

“You first.” you said through snuffles. 

“It was just emotionally seeing Tommy, that's all.” you stare back at him, you knew it wasn't that, and you were a little offended that he thought that would work on you. You knew him better than that. But two could play that game. 

You took your shoes off and climb up into bed and lie down. Joel watches you, confused with frown eyebrows. You let out a fake cry, “it's my period, my emotions and hormones and everything.” You tell him with exaggerated sadness laced in your voice. You knew you were being childish, but you didn't care; you weren't gonna let him get away with that shitty lie. 

He rolls his eyes at your sarcasm as he gives you a deadpan stare. “Really?” was all he said, which made you even more upset. You sit up on the bed and stand up, glaring at him as he remained on the bed. You had been worried all day about him, and he wanted to be closed off to you; you weren't gonna take it. 

“No Joel don't “really” me you know  it's bullshit either tell me or dont tell me, but dont lie to me, god forbid I ask you what's wrong.” you couldn't stand him right now you turn to leave the room, but he voice stopped you making you turn around. 

“We’re staying here,” he mumbled quietly as he stares at the ground, adverting your eyes. You frown at him, not understanding what he meant. You hated when he talked in half sentences leaving out details. Who was we, why are we staying here, and also, why had he been crying? 

“What” you asked sternly, pissed at him for not being clear and deflecting the topic yet again. You walk closer to him, narrowing your eyes at him, waiting for Joel to answer. Joel sighs before looking up into your eyes, “You and I are staying in Jackson, it's safe they have food and shelter it's better for you.” he explains, but his voice is still shaky you could tell he was leaving something out and considering the fact he didn't mention Ellie you knew there was more than what he was saying. Also, he didn't talk to you about it; if you wanted to stay or not, you weren't gonna let him dictate where you go and make important choices without. 

You nod, “okay, well me and Ellie will go to the fireflies to make a cure, you can stay here and live out your suburban fantasy okay.” you replay, full of sarcasm; you watch as Joel's face frowns in frustration. He shakes his head and puts his face in his hands for a few minutes before looking back at the ground. 

“You and I are staying, Tommy is taking Ellie, he’s made the trip before, and he can handle it.”. You were getting tired and annoyed with this whole conversation going in circles and getting nowhere. You didn't understand why he wanted to leave Ellie; why didn't he want to continue? You’ve already gotten this far. But you stopped and remembered earlier when he couldn't breathe, and it clicked. You saw it in his eyes when Sam attacked Ellie when the dog started sniffing Ellie. It wasn't a heart attack. It was a panic attack. He was scared. 

Your eyes softened when you realized and came and sit down next to him. You place your hand on his face, slowly turning it, so he's looking at you. “Joel it wasn't the cold air wasn't it,” you stare full of concern into his brown eyes. You knew you were right when you see a tear fall down his cheek. You grab his hand in yours, rubbing it slowly; you didn't say anything, just waiting until he was ready. 

It was quiet for a moment as he cried silently before speaking again. “I get these dreams it’s a different situation, but they all end the same you or Ellie, or hell sometimes the both of you, dead while I just stand there frozen not doing anything, just like I did with-” you watch, choke back a sob before continuing. “Im just failing, I failed Tess, and Sarah, and in my dreams, I fail you and Ellie that’s all I do is fail.” his voice breaks at the end of the sentence as he continues to cry. 

You feel your heart break at how much pain he has been in and how this had been hurting him for so long. You reach up to his face wiping the tears as they continue to fail. You stay silent, waiting for him to finish. You feel him lean into your hand as you gently caressed his face. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before continuing. 

“I don't know what I’ll do if something happened to you or Ellie, I froze when that kid came up behind me, too damn old to hear them and too slow to do something. I couldn't hear when Henry and Sam snuck up on us. It's only a matter of time before I fuck up and put someone in danger, until I freeze at the wrong time again. Lately I've been so godman scared that my heart feels like it stopping and-” 

“and you can't breath and you get dizzy like you're gonna pass out.” you interrupt him, knowing how it feels. You see his eyes widen a little when you describe what happens. You’ve had panic attacks before you knew they were scary as shit. You remember the first time you felt one you thought you were dying. 

You wipe another tear that falls from his eyes. “They happen to me too sometimes, not as bad when I was on my own after my parents died. I used to get them almost every day then, I got one the first time I saw a clicker all,  I did was crouch down to the floor into ball and cried until it went away then I ran. You’re not failing Joel, you arent gonna fail, You didnt fail when you got us out of Kansas with all those infected and a whole town chasing after us.” you looked into his eyes, but you could tell he was still uncertain, they were still full of worry and disbelief 

“Joel its okay to be afraid I’m fucking terrified almost all the time, Im scared that one of us is gonna catch a cold in the middle of the winter and die, Im scared Im gonna sneeze at the wrong time a room full of clickers and get ripped apart, Im scared-” you paused as you felt your tears coming again, “Im scared Im not gonna be able to protect you, that something gonna happen and I won't be able to do anything to help you.” you smile faintly “I guess we have similar fears huh Texas” you tried to lighten the mood as you continue to cry. 

You see him start to smile too through the tears; his hand came up and wiped your tears. You feel his hand wrap around your waist, pulling you into a hug as your cries came out harder. You thought back on how you thought he was having a heart attack and how helpless you were. 

“You fucking scared me back there, thought you were having a heart attack or something.” you pull away looking into his eyes as yours were filled with tears. “I cant fucking save you from a heart attack Joel, you get shot I know what to do, you get stabbed I know what to but-” You feel yourself choke on your sobs, unable to speak for a second. “I always thought a bite was the worst I had to worry about, you cant come back from a bite, I cant do anything about that, I made peace with that, but what about heart attack, or heart failure, what the fuck do I do then?” You cry out as he pulled back into a hug, rubbing your back as you try to steady your breath. 

You close your eyes as you relax against his chest, and you stay there, in each other embrace, as your comfort each other through your similar worries. Joel pulls away first gazing into your teary eyes. He wants to comfort you, reassure you, but nothing comes out of his mouth. He wants to tell you that nothing gonna happen to him, but he can't. He understands where you're coming from, he's nearing his 60s while you're still in your 20s. He hates himself for allowing you to get this close; he knew you were younger, that you deserved someone better than an old man. But you convinced him, told him over and over that you only wanted him. 

“How about we cross that bridge when we get there okay honey.” he attempted to reassure you but you looked into his eyes, seeing the wrinkles around the outside of his eyes, across his forehead, and lining the rest of his face, the grey in his facial hair and you couldn't you, couldn't do that because you’ll be unprepared when you got to that bridge there’s no crossing it. 

You shake you head as you feel your eyes filling with tears again, “I cant Joel, I cant fucking wait because we wont cross it I will, just me and Ellie watching as you fall to the ground unable to do shit.” Your lips trembling thinking about him being in pain and dying while you stand there frozen with Ellie in horror helplessly. “I dont want to lose you Joel not like that.” you whispered before leaning back into his arms. 

Joel thought about it and knew you were right; he knew you were gonna worry yourself to death about his health, and there want much else he could do to change that at the moment. So he just continued holding you in his arms, racking his brain for a solution but there wasn't an easy fix. He thinks about your words earlier, and how you were so good and quick to guarantee that he hasn't failed and that he wasn't going to, he wanted to do the same for you. But he couldn't find the right then to say, so he let you sob into his shoulder until he hears you stop.

“My brother gonna be a dad.” you widen your eyes at the sentence he just blurted out; you pull away, wiping the tears and snot off your face; you stare into his eyes, confused, until you realized what's happening. “You dont know what to say do you.” you watched as he nodded his head, disappointed at himself for not being able to get his words out, but you didn't blame him; you knew he said more through actions. You remember the first time he tried to say you’re more than a friend to him and watched as he continuously rambled about how much you mean to him and getting so far off topic he started using construction terms as a metaphor for your relationship. You knew what he meant. But you let him continue fumbling over his words before saying you felt the same. Since then, you’ve got used to him showing how he cares about you through his action and not getting too mad at his lack of communication. 

“Do you wanna talk about that or were you just trying to lighten the mood.” You asked him. You knew talking about babies, and parenting was hard for him, but you were unsure if he was ready to talk about how that information was affecting him. You watched as he shook his head and knew he was trying to lighten the mood; at least that was his intention, not quite sure it worked. 

“Trying to lighten the mood but I think I did the opposite.” he replied with an unsure smile; you let out a small laugh at his awkwardness, finding it cute. You nod and leaned forward, kissing his cheek. Before laying in the bed, you watch as he took his shoes off and joined you, laying in front of you pressing his back against you chest. Your arms wrap around his waist as you relaxed against him. You knew that both you and him had a lot of things that you’ll probably never gonna heal from or not worry about. You knew there's always gonna be a wound and hole in him from his daughter, and you were always gonna worry about him and his health, But at least you had each other at this moment; that was all you focused on. 

“I love you Joel, I know its hard but well figure it out, well get through this together, you arent alone.” you spoke softly as your head lay on his shoulder. You feel his hand come on top of yours as it rested on his stomach, rubbing them. 

“I know baby, I-uh I love you too.” he whispers back; you smile against his shoulder as he verbally said it back for the first time. You didn't want to make too big a deal of it; you always knew he loved you. He showed it in multiple ways, but you will admit it sounded nice. you snuggled up, pulling him closer into your chest as you closed your eyes and let this awful day end.

[yourtouchismidas]

Inspired by a tiktok I cannot find but imagine giving baby Gigi a tiny disposable camera and seeing life through her eyes<33 mommy and daddy cuddling in bed, bugs in the backyard, baby sister shay<33

omg this is so cute.

i think matty posts these on his private instagram. maybe someone gets the camera for gigi for her birthday, i think ross. its just a little boots disposable one and everyone thinks when she opens it she is just gonna toss it to the side in favour of the more shiny plastic things she has been bought but she puts her eye to the lens and laughs.

"i can see you uncle ross," she says, and he waves at her, tiny and distorted.

"press the button!" he says, and she does. and that's how she gets her first snap. ross in a white t shirt holding a beer bottle, slightly stubbly and looking even taller from where gigi is standing at her small height. part of her thumb is in the corner of the frame, only covering someone's leg in a plastic garden chair.

gigi pulls back from the lens and looks at the camera. expectantly. "where is it? where's the picture"

everyone laughs. matty groans and puts his hands on his head and says, "my sweet apple child, this is from the golden age," as you explain to her about waiting and getting them developed and the excitement of seeing what you've taken after all that time.

"cool!" she shrugs, and then she moves on to the next present.

when you go to get the camera developed, she skips along beside you, excited. the pictures are all slightly dark or blurry, with the occasional perfect one. gigi loves looking through them. you show them to matty when he gets home and he immediately starts snapping pics to post them.

there's one of gigi's wrought iron school gates, kids flying past in a bunch of white and blue school uniform, no faces making it through the blur. there is one of baby shay in her crib, but gigi couldn't climb up enough, so it's shot through the bars, and her eyes, then part of her chest and her little feet in a white babygrow are all you can see through the slats of the crib side.

there is one of a ladybird in the grass, gigi's tiny messy fingers in frame to hold the long stem of grass still in the wind so she could snap it. there is her in the mirror, and matty laughs at this one, calling it a vintage mirror selfie. gigi is in her little white pjs and her hair wild on her head in a falling out pony tail. there is one of the band practicing, adam a tall slenderman in the corner, george a blur of arms, and ross only half a man to one side. matty is in the middle eyes closed as he hits a high note. they're all snapped from an upwards angle, gigi knee high. there is another, taken moments later, of george and ross and gigi pulling stupid faces into the camera, tongues out. gigi is doing a rock and roll sign with her fingers. she has drawn something that you cant make out on ross face.

then there is your favourite picture. it was evening time, and you didnt even know gigi was awake, let alone downstairs. you and matty had been bickering, fighting, the stress of upcoming tour, and you just finding out you were pregnant again, under the surface and rearing in stupid moments like whose turn it was to cook tea and why there was no oj left when you specifically asked matty to buy some more than once.

you were close to tears, frustrated, and matty had stopped mid sentence, mid bicker, and dropped his arms and elbows to his side, resigned.

"why are we doing this?" matty said.

"i dont know," you whispered. you had your back turned to her, hands on the counter but when said this, you turned around, just slightly, opening yourself up to him just that little bit more than a few moments ago.

the radio, still on from dinner, was crackling a voice in front of you and suddenly, you look wonderful tonight by eric clapton started playing, and before you knew it, matty had reached out for your hand, a warm touch in the tense sunset drenched kitchen, and pulled you round and into his arms.

"dance with me?" he said, and you nodded into his chest, smelling him, sweaty and warm, sighing, the tension melting into the air around you. you started swaying together, moving in sync, in time, in a way five minutes ago would've seemed unfathomable. you didn't hear the little camera click in the doorway. you didn't realise you were being watched until that picture came back.

it's you and matty. his arms are clutching onto your side, as he lifts you and spins, caught just very slightly in the air, a smile very slightly starting on your lips, about to laugh at the shock of it, the sunset lighting you from behind, warm and rosy. your hair falls down by your face and his eyes are lifted to yours, locked there.

matty doesnt put this one on instagram. but he puts it on the fridge at home, fastened on with a magnet shaped like a red heart.

gigi begs for another camera.

[thetorturerwrites]

Grey Ch 1: Slippery When Wet

A/N: Well, here I am again but with something new. For background, this story takes place in modern times. I lived through the 80s, and I just can't bring myself to write about them. I also feel strongly that you can move the entire ST cast and story forward 40 years, and everything still works. There is always a group of misfits.

We'll be skirting the line between reader insert and OC, but I figure if we as readers can imagine ourselves as cheerleaders or secret agents, you can come with me on this particular journey.

Lastly, I don't have any fancy content warnings since this story is in its infancy, but I will update them as I go. I also don't like to disclose my plans. So, you'll just have to be as surprised as I am when updates occur. ;)

I hope you enjoy.

For @fracturedarkness

***

The first time you saw Eddie Munson, you sat outside your trailer doing your very best to dissociate from your past.

Fall had not yet turned into winter, but here in Indiana, the predominantly flat landscape made the strong chill in the air bite at your cheeks and sting your eyes. It was unfamiliar terrain, a stark difference from what you’d left, but you told yourself you’d drive until you ran out of gas. But when you did, it still didn’t feel far enough. You hastily refueled and kept on driving, ending up in Hawkins, Indiana. It felt like another world, light years away from the one you’d fled. 

And so there you sat, in a rickety, green, folding lawn chair outside a half-orange, single-wide, drafty trailer bundled up in a hoodie, thick boots, and the only pair of blue jeans you still owned. The drab, brown grass and near winter-dormant trees matched your mood - somber. You reminded yourself to be grateful for this freedom, this fresh air, this small, rusted out circle containing the fire you’d built to keep warm. A month ago, this patchy driveway, disturbingly freezing trailer, and miles and miles of silence were an impossibility.

You moved in through a sheet of rain and spent the next far-too-long using that rain as an excuse to hide inside and not step foot out into the world. When the rain stopped, you exited your tin can to a new type of sunlight. The air was purer here, stripped of noise and smog. With the ground finally dried out, you could start the long overdue task of a fire in the pit you were pretty sure you’d stolen from someone else’s yard. You told yourself it was for a higher purpose because tonight’s primary goal was to burn up every shred of anything that could identify you to anybody who might come looking. 

You’d set your world on fire to be out here, might as well set the past on fire to match.

God, never let them come looking, you silently prayed.

You didn’t hear the van pull up, not even registering the muted metal thumping inside it, even when its driver threw the door open and spilled Judas Priest out into the night. Your focus was on the latest picture you’d tossed into the flames, watching as the smiling faces on the shiny surface blackened, blistered, and curled into themselves. Gone to nothing, like it all was. Rifling through the box for the next memory, you barely registered the crunch of boots crossing the road.

It wasn’t until a voice, masculine and smooth, broke your reverie that you even blinked. But once you did, it took a flurry of lashes, eyelids rapid-fire opening and shutting, to clear your vision before you could actually see the person standing across from you.

“Hey there?” He waved his hand in your direct line of sight until you looked at his face. “Hi. You good? Been trying to get your attention for a few minutes now.”

Canting your head slightly to the left, you studied him, all long limbs and curly hair. He was attractive in a sweet sort of way with a clear fondness for the color black. Scuffed up black boots, black jeans with worn out knees, a black and white shirt that looked to say something about hell, and an oversized black leather coat decorated with a jean vest layer. He looked as though he walked straight out of the 1980s, but in a way that was strangely charming. Charming was nothing you had room for in your life these days, regardless of how pretty he was.

Shaking your head gently, you looked down into the pale blue box, still half full, lifted out a spindly pine cone, and threw it into the fire with more force than you intended. You watched it bounce before settling into a smoldering pile of dried roses and yellow paper.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Not really in the mood for chitchat, you furrowed your brow and refocused on your task, hoping he would leave. A long, uncomfortable moment passed, though, in which he didn’t seem to get the hint. With a huff, you forced your voice into a semblance of civility. “Need something, Mister…?”

You let the word linger, assuming he was at least socially adept enough to understand the cue. When you looked up at him again, there was an amiable smile on his face, and you almost regretted the annoyance you felt a second ago.

“Eddie.” He sat - no, plopped himself pointedly right there - down on the grass across from your makeshift fire pit, happy as a pig in mud. “Name’s Eddie. Mister Munson is my uncle.” He pointed over his shoulder to the trailer directly across from yours.

"You live with your uncle?" You asked carelessly only to be slammed with immediate embarrassment. Being rude was never your intention.

He smirked.

"Yeah. It works. I work days, him nights. Saves money. Keeps the place from feeling so lonely."

If your judgment put him off, he didn't show it. 

“So, whatcha up to? Missus…?”

You chuffed a slight laugh. You couldn’t help it when he mimicked you exactly, complete with a higher tone that made you appreciate the deep, richness of his natural voice. You contemplated telling him your name, but you’d promised yourself nobody would ever know where you’d gone or what became of you. Telling him your name felt like breaking that promise too soon.

“You can call me…” 

Your eyes darted around, surveying what was close by to find anything that would work. Catching on the sleeve of your hoodie, you nodded to yourself. That’s the answer.  

“… Grey.” To match my mood, you thought. To match everything about my damn life. “And I’m…” 

You trailed off again, eyes drawn back to the crackling flames eating up your history. Memory pinched your lips, and you shook your head, numbed now by all the spent emotions, as well as the frigid air. 

“Just enjoying the fire.”

Eddie hummed, nodding along as though he heard all your private thoughts and could feel their weight. He said nothing for a long time, and right when you thought he’d get up to leave, which made you feel a funny way, he broke the silence again.

“You just moved here, yeah?” Rummaging in his coat pocket, he pulled out a pack of Marlboro reds and a silver Zippo. “D’you mind?” 

He waved the pack at you, seeking your permission to smoke his own cigarette in your company. Against your better sense, you found it endearing.

“Yeah. Few weeks. No, don’t mind.” 

Two weeks and three days, exactly, but he didn’t need to know you kept track of how many days it had been since you’d begun this crazy endeavor. There were a lot of things you didn’t want Eddie, or anybody, to know. All of it stuffed way down inside and locked up tight. The only tangible evidence of your previous life sat heavy on your knees, a weight you desperately wanted to be rid of.

From inside the box, you drew another stack of papers - bills, letters, probably some legal stuff - and tossed them onto the burning heap. Bit by bit, the person you used to be became more and more of a myth. Glancing at your unexpected companion, you watched as he lit and drew a deep inhale from the cigarette. You thought he would surely twist or turn his head so he could read the words stamped on the topmost bill, your government name all across the front of it, but to his credit, Eddie simply stretched out his arm and offered you a drag.

“Want?”

“No thanks,” you shook your head, unable to stop the wrinkling of your nose, “I don’t like the smell.” You blinked a few times as your brain caught up to what you said. “Which seems stupid right now considering we are sitting at a fire that I built myself.”

He laughed - just once, a delighted bark in the now darkness. It shocked you how much the laugh transformed his face. The apples of his cheeks grew more pronounced, and his lips pursed attractively. He shook his head and flicked the cigarette into the fire to burn up alongside your history.

“Not stupid,” he smiled at you, warm and genuine. “Been meaning to quit anyhow. This what you do for fun?”

You couldn’t stop the stirrings of a smile.

“Oh yeah,” you nodded exaggeratedly, “every chance I get. You?”

He was practically giddy at your sudden participation but played it off coy, boyish almost. His fawn-brown eyes twinkled.

“Mmm I’m gonna hold on to that little nugget of intel.” He rubbed his hand across his face, but you couldn’t tell if it was to hide his delighted grin or to keep himself under control. “M’tryna be cool here.”

He winked at you, all cheeky-like, and you couldn’t breathe for a second.

“And this way, we’ll have something to talk about next time.”

You could hear the offer in his voice, the openness and welcoming. It shot two arrows directly into the center of your heart - one warm, trying to crack you open a fraction more and one icy cold, warning you that this was too risky, too reckless.

Pay attention! 

Your anxiety screamed, straining at the seams of your insides until your head pounded and your ears rang.

“Ok. Sure…..cool…..” 

Your voice trailed off because you noticed the details of him now. Details you’d missed before since you’d been directly in the center of your personal pity party.

The world went upside down. 

Beat-up, old van. Long hair. Hell-something t-shirt. You belatedly registered the silver rings adorning several fingers and the guitar pick strung around his neck. Your eyes flicked from him to his van, trying to remember what had been playing when he rolled out of it this evening.

Judas Priest. Eddie was a metal head, which meant he was undoubtedly in a band, which further meant he was unquestionably a drinker or a drug user. Fuck, maybe even another goddamn drug dealer. A heavy sigh escaped, accompanied by the sag of your shoulders.

You didn’t need another version of that guy. You’d barely escaped the last one.

“Y’ok there?”

The way he looked at you was unnerving. No, the way he watched you was unnerving. He obviously recognized the moment you went from calm to anxious, and it bothered you he’d seen it. 

Without really doing much, he invited you in, making some kind of space for you to feel seen and safe. But the quickness with which he made you feel at peace left you troubled. You’d lived with those uneasy feelings for far too long - the kind that had your stomach in knots and your jaw clenched as you waited for the next catastrophe. That anxiety was your constant companion, and you couldn't fathom letting it go.

Better the devil you know than the ones you don't. 

You drummed agitated fingers against the corners of the box before abruptly deciding to upturn the entire thing into the fire. Standing too fast, you ignored the dizzy feeling in your head and stomped on the box with your boot to make sure it would all catch.

“Well, uh, it was nice to meet you, Eddie.” You kicked at the fire again, moving the debris around and sending bursts of smoke and ash into the air. “See you around sometime.”

It was dangerous to leave the fire unattended; you knew. But sticking around for Eddie to see too much or ask the right question you didn’t think you’d be able to not answer was even more dangerous. He was easy. Easy to be around. Easy to like. Easy to talk to. And that was simply unacceptable.

So, you did the thing you’d been doing for months.

You ran.

You slammed the door shut behind you with enough force to shake the trailer walls and turned off all the lights before sinking down onto the threadbare carpet floor in the very center of the practically empty room. Dropping your head into your hands, you waited, hoping he’d understand this cue, too, and leave you alone.

Eddie

“You can call me Grey.”

It certainly wasn’t your name, but somehow, it suited you, at least in Eddie’s estimation. You were beautiful, but you were also hemorrhaging color, joy, and want for life. It showed on your face - pretty features that lay flat with no spark to animate them.

He noticed you immediately when you moved into the trailer park. You spoke to no one, you hardly left your place, and you moved in with only an Army green duffel bag and a pillow, as far as he could tell. He never saw you unload anything else from your car, a ragged, sky blue Pinto that looked oddly right parked not so far away from his van. They would be best friends, of course.

Gradually, over the course of about a week, you stepped outside more often, and he relished the opportunities to study you. He guessed you to be roughly his height, maybe an inch or two shorter. Curvaceous, he decided even though you dressed in long pants and sleeves no matter the time of day. He couldn’t quite tell about your hair color, though. It seemed to change from morning to night, which he chalked up to the sunlight that was always in his damn face when he tried to watch you in the mornings.

At first, he felt a little creepy, but it was unavoidable. You were the most fascinating person to have ever set off his Misfit Radar. Collecting renegades and weirdos turned out to be a lifelong commitment for Eddie, though it was less intentional these days than it had been in high school. And you? 

You had ‘outsider’ written all over you. He simply couldn’t help himself from seeking that connection.

So, here he was, trying - and failing - to make conversation when it was obvious all you wanted was to burn things that used to hold meaning. He was hard-wired to keep going, however, and he wanted you to crack out of that shell just enough to make the awkwardness worth it. He might know the right things to say to the oddballs and freaks, but inside, he always felt clumsy and nervous when talking to someone he found attractive.

And you were fucking gorgeous. 

Once or twice, you responded beyond the bare minimum, more than out of politeness, and he saw that spark in you - the brief flash of feeling beneath all the fear, and he was right. It made the nervousness worthwhile. And when you smiled? Shot through the heart, and you were to blame. He couldn’t help but want to make you smile again. He had a feeling you didn’t do it enough. He also got the impression that whatever it was you ran from, you’d never be far enough away. But maybe he could help make you feel safe here, safe enough to start over.

For reasons he didn’t quite understand, he wanted that very much. 

Long after he’d spooked you, he stayed. He understood running, but he also knew you had to make the choice to stop and be in the hard moments. It was Dustin who taught him how to push through the fear, and Eddie knew that sometimes, a person needed to see the behavior modeled before they felt comfortable enough to try it. It had certainly been true for him. 

Making himself that model - even not knowing whether you could see him - he kept his eyes on the fire that was so important to you, ensuring every piece, including the box itself, burned away, all while listening for the faintest sounds of stirring inside. He wanted you to know he was still here, but he didn’t want to push you because that truly would be creepy. None came. If you knew he lingered, you didn’t give him any sign.

Quietly, trying hard to not disturb you, he tended your fire, made sure there was nothing recognizable left, and put out the flames. He mixed the ashes with the dirt and folded your lawn chair against the trailer so it wouldn’t blow away in case the wind kicked up. 

And then, he went home for the night - albeit reluctantly.

Foregoing food or a shower or a smoke, he dropped into his messy bed, shook the hair from his face, and stared at the ceiling for a long time. He normally smelled like cigarettes, sometimes weed, but tonight, he smelled of campfire smoke and the nighttime air. It made him think of you, and he imagined fifty different ways he would try to talk to you tomorrow. Maybe you’d be outside tomorrow morning, seeing that he worked your fire for you, and he’d wave as he drove off to work. Maybe you’d be sitting out there when he came home, and he could keep you company again. Bring you a beer or something.

Or maybe, he’d be brave and walk right over there to knock on your door.

He made so many plans that he drifted off to sleep without settling on a specific one…

[kiwibirb1]

To preface this, I completely and utterly forgot I was doing this. This is roughly what I remember, but it will start kind of random. This is a continuation of this post

My thoughts as I play Twilight Princess for the first time Pt 2

IT FUCKING SLAPPED ITS ASS DURING A FIGHT

Aww I can't see Rusl

Where the fuck am I supposed to go

HYRULE FIELD? HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN HERE?

*Sprints across grass*

Lol I bet one of the kids shit themselves and that's what I'm smelling

Kakariko!

Aww that's so sad and sweet! They think I'm gonna save them! *proceeds to run into wall*

WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO GO

Ahah!

Wait I got them all didn't I?

Oh there's some outside Kakariko

Can Midna please fucking stop looking behind like theres something there it scares me

Death Mountain? I don't think this fur will stand the heat.

Gordon!

Song?

WHERE THE FUCK AM I

Ooh other wolf ( I know it's Time but whatever)

I'm not very good at howling

That sounded so pretty!

Ooh he's in Ordona

Lol just got ragdolled by air

Four this time? Eeugh

Oh that was easy

Um why does it sound like this volano is about to blow?

AHHHHHHH

These fucking bird things

OW RUDE ROCK

Woah I'm glowy

She just casually twirls out of existence

Hoo-Hoo

Why does it have a fish mouth. Ew

Aww poor Colin or whatever his name is

Haha he runs weird

Bomb guy just ignored

Woah music change

Gorons, why?

Ooh I like this Kakariko's music

Oh right I blew a house up... oopsie

I got a shiny ant!

Welp I guess I gotta talk the gorons

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO STOP THIS GUY

WHAT IS BEEPING

Oh my hearts

I give up ill go to the Wolf instead

AHHHHH

WHY THE FUCK WHERE YOU STANDING RIGHT WHERE I GET OUT

EPONA

IM A COWBOY

YEE HAW

zoom

I CANT FUCKING JUMP THIS GATE

FINALLY

Not the mailman

Aww he did a little "doo do-do do do!"

There's two bird people face things? Eugh *shudders*

Lol I just ran them over

Oh thanks Epona that qas the wrong way

Doggo!

Okay now that I know how to bash peoples heads in with a shield Onwards, Epona!

Yeah, yeah, your kids are alive, lemme buy some milk!

Link: looks down Mayor: ah, so you like mayonnaise with your pizza, not cheese.

Ah what is that walk

Lol he had to bandage his old man knees

I figured out the secret: smack em

So the only way to win.. is to cheat. I'm in!

Where's Rusl?

Oh well

Hehe I stole my own money

Over the gate first try baby

NOT THEM AGAIN

Noo Colin

How are a bunch of pigs faster then Epona

I'm so good at jousting

YO THAT POSE WAS EPIC

Why does this sound like a death speech

He's just ragdolled lol

Epic pose: check Someone's death to avenge: check Horse the Fandom loves more then the main character: check

When you just buy the hylian sheild:

Lol this kid running the shop tho

IM BACK GORON PREPARE TO FACE DEFEAT

Get rekt

Lol they just continue going down

Being!

Fuck I forgot the boots

One sec

*Does a cheat*

Wow that's a lot of lava

The lava is very hot 0/10 do not recommend

Okay so I hyperfocused the rest of the dungeon but I did write one thing:

OMFG ITS THE WEIRD BIRDBPERSON FACE THING RUNNNN

I got about halfway through the dungeon, expect another TP post in the next couple of days!

[encantoisawesome]

for the past week and when i was in hospital, for some reason all i can think about is a cross over with encanto and big hero 6 (the encanto characters in the world of big hero 6), and what their hero outfits would look like/what weapons they would have. (i went on an entire ramble about this on discord, sorry about that) this is what i got:

for antonio, he would have robotic bird wings on the back of his that allow him to fly with the birds and a helmet like go-go's with the spike on the back and a spike at the front resembling a bird beak. his outfit being yellow and red. i doubt he would have a weapon given that he is 5 years old, but i can see his animal friends fighting along side him, all of them wearing similar helmets to antonio except they would have have helmets to match them (for example, parce would have multiple points on the front of his to match his teeth, or pico would have a longer spike at the front to match his beak)

for luisa, she would have really big metal gauntlet like gloves that cover/protect her elbows as well as big metal boots that cover/protect her knees, the rims of every metal plate that make up the gauntlets and boots outlined with blue. she would still have her skirt but would have body armour on as well as a helmet. i dont think she would need a weapon, maybe small retractable spikes on her knuckles or something

for camilo, i think his outfit would probably have less armour and more flexible fabric so have can shape shift freely without his outfit becoming too big or too small, like armour would cover his knees, elbows, his torso and back, as well as goggles like wasabis. his armour being orange with his chameleon pattern on  while the fabric is dark brown

for isabela, very similar to honey lemon except her skirt is longer and has the splattered design as well as flowers on (like her dress at the end of the movie), and without the bag too. like luisa, i dont think she would really need a weapon as shes got her plants and all that

for felix, dunno why (i think its because of that scene where he saves antonio from being crushed by his door during the scene where casita collapses. plus in a lot of his promo images, hes carrying an umbrella which acts as a shield against the rain or sun) i can imagine him having a shield with a sun pattern on to match his wife. armour wise, not really sure, maybe something like wasabis but it being pale yellow

for bruno.... i genuinely have no idea. absolutely no idea. i can see him wearing green goggles with the pointy bits at the side. i cant imagine him taking off his ruana to be honest, and i can see him constantly carrying a vision plate that connected to wires but i have no idea what would be on it or what the wires lead to/do. i dunno, im stumped on that one

for agustin. armour. lots of armour. weapon wise, no idea. im stumped on him too to be honest, i genuinely have no idea. all i know is that his armour would be dark blue

for julieta, i can see her wearing a tactical belt with the pockets full of herbs and spices. (this idea was more of a joke that made me laugh but now i cant stop thinking about it. you know how in the movie she literally shoves food into peoples mouths to heal them? well what if she fired them into their mouths using a gun like weapon on her arm that she uses to fire arepas at people to either heal people or attack?........im very sleep deprived). her armour being light blue

for pepa, i cant see her using a weapon but i can see her outfit being similar to honey lemons as well but instead of a helmet, its goggles so that her hair braid is free (plus i like the details in the movie where he hair sticks up whenever she has a lightning cloud above her due to the static) with her armour being yellow with lightning patterns on it

mirabel, i had a bit of trouble thinking of something and sorry if this sounds stupid but i remembered the scene where she used rope from the broken rope bridge in bruno's room to make her own rope swing to get across the gap, so i thought "..huh, maybe something like that", so i can see her using a really long rope made out of different colour wool that she uses as a lasso or something (kinda like matching isabela with her vines), with each bit of her armour being a different colour. she'd still have her skirt but she'd have a helmet and armour to protect her torso and shoulders

for dolores, big ear muffs to protect her hearing as well as red armour with the soundwave patterns to protect her arms, legs and torso. weapon wise, i thought about this, not sure if it would work at all given her gift but i can see dolores using a weapon with makes soundwaves into a weapon (hence the reason why shes wearing ear muffs), dunno if that would work or not

for abuela alma, i had a very stupid idea that made me laugh, i imagined a scene where everyone (felix, agustin, pepa, julieta, camilo, dolores, luisa, isabela, mirabel, antonio and bruno are nearly defeated in a battle with a bad guy, but before they can give out the final blow, this giant as hell robot flies in and defeats the bad guy. everyone is completely clueless on who it is until the middle opens up revealed flipping abuela alma sitting in a chair controlling the robot. she only comes into the battle if her entire family is defeated, which is pretty rare

sorry about my ramble, ive had this in my mind for 2 weeks now

what do you guys think, what do you think theyre outfits would look like and what their weapons would be? (honestly i would love you guys’s opinions on this)

[mona-randi]

The Punishment

Part 1 of 2

He caught me yesterday.

I thought he had already left for work and I was horny so I... well you know...

I don't know how long he was standing there in the door way but by the time I noticed he was there, I was nearly ready to cum. My fingers were hammering in and out of my wet slopping pussy while my other hand was wrapped around my throat. I was trying to choke myself, saying 'I'm a dirty whore' over and over as I imagined that it was his hands touching me.

Pathetic, I know. But that's the only way I can cum these days and I needed to so badly.

It felt so good. I was almost there, just as I was about to let myself release and give in to the overwhelming waves of passion coursing through my core, my toes curling in the sheets, leg shaking, God I was so close, I heard something.

I jumped up when he cleared his throat. Our eyes locked and I knew I was in trouble.

You see, I'm not allowed to touch myself without his permission. I'm also not allowed to cum with out his permission.

His dark eyes glared into me as he stepped towards the bed. For a moment, I hoped he would see my sweaty naked body and replace my fingers with his cock, but I knew better. I broke the rules and I definitely wasn't going to get away with it this time.

Last time he caught me he didn't let me cum for a week. By the end of it, I was a whining begging mess willing to hump his boot if he would just let me cum.

Would it be two weeks this time?

Would he only use my ass for a while as punishment for me using my own pussy?

He has always been so creative with the punishments. Oh but this time, he was exceedingly devious.

"You broke the rules again, Slut." His eyes held a stern calmness that terrified me down to my core as he leaned his hands against the bed posts. "Do you deny it?"

I shook my head, sheepishly lowering it in a passive look of shame, while also spreading my legs suggestively so he could get a better view of my wet pussy lips spreading in front of him.

"And you don't even feel any remorse for your actions, do you?"

I blushed with a sly smile as I shook my head again.

He stood with a deep slow sigh, putting his hands in his pockets.

"You know I have to punish you now, right?"

I nodded, watching him as he strode over to my side of the bed, until he was towering over my bare figure. My pussy quivered at the thought of what he was going to do to me.

Was it fear? Was it arousal? Was it a bit of both?

He paused for a moment, wiping the sweat off my brow, but then his finger lingered at my jawline, and slowly trickled down between my breasts and kept lowering. I panted, closing my eyes, as his finger met the soft sweet curls between my thighs.

But just as his fingers found my clit, he stopped, and our eyes met.

" I know that as a Slut I can't tell you not to stop touching yourself. It's your second nature. You are a Hole meant to be used, you know this, and you are too weak to fight against what your pussy needs, what it desires. So I won't tell you that you can't touch yourself.

So here is the new rule: If you want to touch yourself, tell me, and do it in front of me, until I tell you to stop."

My eye brows furrowed up at him. It sounds almost too good to be true.

"So, I get to touch myself as much as I want, but I need to do it infront of you?"

He nodded, and my body jolted at the feel of his fingers softly circling my clit.

"And you stop when I tell you to stop. Do you agree to this new rule?"

"Yes, Master." I whimper my body quickly brought back to the peak of pleasure. "Thank you, Master."

"Good." He smiled down at me, his finger sliding down unto my wet soaking pussy, easily sliding into it, straight to the last knuckle. I cant help but moan out at the sudden sense of being filled with Him, spreading my knees apart, hoping for more, ready to beg more.

Seeing how close I was to coming undone, he pulled his finger away, and leaned over me, until his face was a mere breathe width away from my face.

"Starting... Now." His eyes lit up as he smirked down at me, before he turned and walked out of the room.

I have a love hate relationship with that look. I tend to love seeing it but then hate the consequences of what happens once he is done with me.

What did I just agree to?

Part 1 of 2

Part 1, Part 2

[asilavyel]

Wonder Woman

 I remember it like it was yesterday sitting in my anatomy class. The phone was ringing the time stopped. Everything was in slow motion. I knew the phone was for me. My father is in the hospital. Suffering from the ramifications of the chemo. I didn’t know he was on his deathbed. Sick and alone waiting for me. Would I make it in time?  The fallen leaves were crunching under my insignificance wheels. I was riding on the cracked sidewalk at the end of the street. Adults and children were nowhere in sight. The street was sleeping and reeked of loneliness. The people on this worn, dead ended street had deserted it, striving for something new and more exciting. My bike had unwanted training wheels and was covered with pink roses. I had a pink bubble horn and bow ribbons tied on the handles. My once loved bike now became childish in my eyes. I was a big girl now! I pedaled faster to reach my worn house. My training wheels were making me slower, dragging me down. I had finally reached my house towards the beginning of the street. From my house, you could see the wavering crooked sign marking our street 'Poplar'. I hopped off my bike and marched right onto my porch. My father was sitting on a lawn chair with his beloved Coca-Cola beside his leather cowboy boots.

I stride up to him, “Daddy you need to teach me how to ride a real bike!” He looks at me with amusement and adjusts his cowboy hat, putting out the cigarette he was smoking in the glass ashtray next to him.

“What's wrong with your bike?” He asks me with a smile that reaches our matching brown eyes.

“Daddy! I'm a big girl now and big girls don't ride bikes with training wheels!” All the kids who lived on the street didn't ride the type of bike I rode.

“Okay mija. I'll teach you how to ride a bike without training wheels.” He walked and bent over to the steel handle, opening our unused garage. I heard a rustling and clanging. Finally my father emerged with a rusty larger than life bike. The wheels towered over my head and I compulsively started fidgeting with my hands.

“I'm suppose to ride that?” I whined. I didn't expect this particular bike.

“It's what you wanted Lisa, no?” my father says with a smile. “I'll help you don't worry.”

I can do this. I zip up my puffy white jacket and roll up my selves. My father takes the bike to the edge of the road as I trail after him. He helps me onto the old fashion bike and I adjust myself. I place my feet onto the pedals.

“Okay now start pedaling. I have you mija.” 

I start to pedal with my dad steadying my awkwardly high padded seat. As I pedal I can't stop the grin growing on my face. 

“Good job! I'm going to let go.”

“No papi! You cant let go!” I scream with desperation. I sense my father still with me so I immediately calm down. I pass the broken houses with the wind blowing my air. In that moment I felt like Wonder Women and my hair was my cape. The bike was my two wheeled lasso, my weapon. I turn to share my joy with my father and to let him know I'm okay. I want to try by myself. With wide eyes I see my father standing several houses behind me. I try not to panic and keep riding. I don't no how to get off the large bike. I decide to just turn and ask daddy for help.

It was another day in the 'ghetto' Pontiac Michigan when I made the decision to learn how to ride a bike. Later in life I would really learn what it means to actually let go. I also was striving for something new, but I would realize there was no place I'd rather be than on that broken road, embracing my father and yelling at him to not let me go. 

After I fell off my new weapon my father rushed to me. Two bruised knees and the shock of falling derailed my spirit. I remember my father kissing my boo boos but I had finally did the impossible. Its was too big, but I In those ten to five second felt free. Infinite. Accomplished. Never let something scary stop you from reaching new heights.   How I missed that man to this day. As next of kin I was the one to make the decision.

Many do not talk about their experiences with loss which is a form of grief. You can experience this at any age or any time in your life. It could be a small loss, as losing a childhoods toy or a big loss which may be losing a parent. Both are losses but, one is more severe emotional loss.                                                     Some losses are natural like losing your teeth. You can experience that in two stages of your life. I am somebody who personally does not discuss my grief with people. It’s not a natural response for me. At a young age I had to decide my father. Man I had known my whole life was weak in this moment. They said that’s what he wanted.

Smoking kills and it generated towards mainly men. Smoking also introduces new voices such as drinking. By new voices I mean new vices. An addiction that may lead to other addictions. Not only can you experience cancer from smoking you can also get secondhand smoke. Gum disease follows that In some causes. You may experience hearing loss vision loss in some severe cases. Your increase in tobacco products may increase. Dual tobacco items may be used.   What is the cost of a cigarette. If you ask a smoker how much he spends on a pack a month you’d be astonished. People relate stress to why they began smoking. Or maybe you were quitting a habit and place you gained a new bad habit. Smoking kills. It’s unhealthy. Think twice before you light up.  Can cause lung disease by blocking the airways in your small sacs in your lungs. COPD is serious. Smoking is so unhealthy. Nicotine doesn’t kill the tar does. Vaping is just as bad. Vaping is an alternative from smoking cigarettes. It still affects your lungs. Cigarette smoking kills more than 480,000 Americans each year. Cigarette kills mostly men compared to women. Cigarette smoking also kills more in the ages of 45 to 64.The woman rate for smoking in women is 11.0, reported as everyday smokers.   I believe people smoke because of stress. Find new ways to cope with stress in a productive way. Might find this beneficial in the long run to quit smoking. Find new coping mechanisms to quit smoking. You can do it. The south also is reported to have more smokers in the country. 45 to 64 is reported to have more frequent smoking. You see it smoking advertise everywhere on billboard, television.  I  lost my father at the age of fifteen, he suffered through chemotherapy and he went into remission but he was in stage four. The chemo affected his body and some of the effects of the chemo he got sick from and he could not recover and he passed away. I had to come to acceptance and deal with this grief. And to this day I’m still learning how to talk about my grief, about the situation. It takes time and practice and you have to be willing in my opinion, to heal.   People struggle with healing because they do not talk about it so if you are in that situation and you feel like someone needs someone to talk to you, please reach out because isolation does have negative effects. I feel like I experience a prolonged grief a sense of “being stuck” from my loss of  my father. Grief and loss do have an effect on your physical well-being so it’s important practice self-care. I hope if you know anyone that is going through any difficult times regarding loss and grief that you are patient and know that there is hope. Be a good support system it can help someone in that type of situation.

[just-here-for-the-moment]

CONGRATULATIONS ON 300 LOVE💚💚💚 You deserve it and more because you are TALENTED and SO SWEET and everything you do is just 👨‍🍳🤌

I took the chance to spin your wheel… and first spin I got was Mando with a lactation kink… I KNOW this man loves kids and wants a big family so I can’t wait to see what you come up with!!!! All the love!

Woooo!!! This broke me. I was really going for XTRA FILTHY SMUT but that did not happen. This one surprised me when I wrote it by sneaking up all soft and sweet, and then ending that way too. That's okay, though, I like a good soft smut.

Hope you enjoy!!! :D

Word Count: 2030+

Rating: Explicit/mature, 18+ only

Outline: Din Djarin x “You”/Din’s wife (cis/het female reader; “blank canvas”/no physical description/no name/no use of “Y/N”)

Warnings: starts soft, ends soft; Din has a filthy mouth; praise kink (use of “good girl”); lactation kink; unprotected P/V sex in the context of marriage; sprinkling of breeding kink

Evenings and nights were always your favorite with your husband. It was the best time of the day, everyone settled down and quiet, the ship docked for the night wherever you were visiting or set to autopilot to the next destination. You knew your husband’s moods, the slight slump of his shoulders telling you that he was getting drowsy, ready to head below decks and rest, curled up in your arms.

You nursed your son, putting him down before heading up to the cockpit to knit for a bit and watch the stars race by. After an hour of that, you saw the telltale signs and knew that Din was done for the day, even if he didn’t know it himself. He pushed himself too hard, always believing that there was more of him to go around than there was.

Now that the baby was here, growing healthy and strong, Din had resumed his habit of staying up too late, tweaking just one more thing in the cockpit or looking over the available jobs just one more time. He had spent too many nights slumped sleeping in that pilot’s chair, and you had finally started being gently pushy, in the hopes of getting the man to just stop and rest.

You waited until you saw the helmet keel an inch too far to the right, knowing how heavy it felt on his head, his old habit of wearing full armor at all times in the cockpit in case things went sideways and he had to spring into action. You didn’t push him to relax or remove it, you knew how much he needed that feeling of being in control. But you could be sweet and soft, remind him how much you needed him at the end of the day, how good it would feel to finally remove the Beskar and curl up against you, skin to skin for the night.

“Din,” you made your voice soft. “It’s bedtime.”

His helmet tilted back to center and you heard him clear his throat. “Just one more thing, mesh’la.”

You smiled to yourself and finished off your row of stitches, giving him a few more minutes, tweaking knobs and fiddling with buttons. You got up and stretched, then came around to his side, placing one hand on the back of his neck with a gentle squeeze.

“Let’s go. You need your rest, or you’ll be no good to anyone tomorrow.”

Din lifted one hand to grip your waist affectionately. You could visualize the fight happening on his face, the urge to take care of just one more item battling against the pull of your soft curves in the dark. You leaned in, letting his helmet come to rest against your side.

“Let me take you to bed, you big, strong man.” Your voice was soft, your nails softer as you slipped them just under the cowl and dragged them across the back of his neck.

Din sighed and then set the ship to autopilot before he removed his helmet. His eyes were rimmed with hints of red, the circles underneath deeper than they had been yesterday. Your heart squeezed, and you immediately took the helmet to set it gently on the floor. You kneeled in front of his chair and didn’t say a word as you started to help him remove his gloves, then all of the parts of his armor that you could reach. For his part, Din let you worry your fingers over him. Then he stood up and took off his back plates and cape, piling everything neatly on the ground.

“Sit.” You left no room for argument, and Din complied. You muttered gently to yourself as you reached down to help him remove his boots, “Kriffing crazy man, pushing yourself so hard…”

Din let you undress him, let you massage your fingers up his calves and across his quads, and that told you more than anything how tired he really was. Normally he would at least protest, say that he didn’t need the help, but this quiet acquiescence was worrisome. Still, though, you knew how to relax him, get him to stop. You weren’t above using your feminine wiles to bend him to your will, all in the service of getting him to rest.

When he was finally down to his flight suit, you opened the front of it and peeled it down and off his shoulders, and then straddled his lap in the pilot’s chair. You started by skating your nails over his shoulders. Din closed his eyes as a shiver ran through his body. He nearly moaned, a soft “Ohhh…” floating out into the quiet of the cockpit.

You gently pushed his forehead so that he could lean his head back on the headrest, and increased the pressure of your fingers as you rubbed circles into the knots of his biceps and trapezius muscles. Din let his hands rest on your thighs as you worked him over, and by the end of it, he was putty in your hands. You finished by laying a soft kiss to his velvet lips, and you were surprised when he kissed back and wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you tight.

“Sweet man, I thought you were tired?” You smiled as he brought his eyes to rest on your face.

“No, mesh’la. I think I just got a second wind.” Din raised an eyebrow at you, and you giggled as you felt him twitch hard underneath your crotch.

“No, you need to rest, my husband. You’re awfully tired.”

Din groaned as he buried his face against your sternum, grinding up against your through your clothing. You threaded your fingers through his curls and scraped your nails from his ears down to his neck, pulling a moan from deep in his throat.

“But I need to have you, just like this.” Din brought his hands up to untie the laces of your wrap dress, sliding his thick fingers under the fabric as it fell open. “Please? Can I taste your milk? You know I love to taste you, mesh’la.” He placed hot, open-mouthed kisses to the swell of your breasts. You felt a thrill run through your body, finding it harder and harder to be stern with him.

“No, Din, you really need-” You gasped as he cupped your breast with one big hand and brought his mouth to the nipple. “You need…” But for the life of you, you couldn’t remember the next part of your orders. You let your dress slide down your arms and off your shoulders, pooling on the floor of the cockpit. Your panties were damp, and Din’s strong arm wrapped around you, holding you firmly in place.

“I know what I need, my sweet wife. I need you.” Din dove back to your breast with his hungry mouth, swirling the nipple with his tongue as his erection grew and pressed harder against your clothed cunt. You felt your milk prickling behind your areolas, knowing that if Din applied any suction, you would start leaking from both breasts, and then you would entirely lose control of this mission to get him to bed.

“No, Din, bed-” but he cut you off with a growl, something primal and low that rumbled from deep in his chest and took your breath away as he gripped you closer, teeth scraping against your budded nipple.

Din began to suckle, and you threw your head back with a gasp, clinging tightly to his shoulders as the muscles flexed under your touch. He was quiet but greedy, sucking at one side before moving to the other. The feel of your milk letting down made you moan, and giving in was just too easy, too sweet to resist. You let your husband take what he wanted, what he needed from you. There would be plenty for the baby still.

“You taste like the stars, sweet girl.” Din’s voice was a hoarse whisper in between his lapping, and his praises made you wetter. “You taste like honey and sunshine like this.”

“Diiinn…” Your head was fuzzy, wiped clean of everything except desire. “Din, please…”

You weren’t even sure what you were asking for, but Din took charge, lifting you half out of his lap so that he could free his cock, before hooking one thick finger and pulling your panties to the side. He swept the head of his penis back and forth against your slick folds and then thrust up inside, settling you back on his lap with his arm wrapped tight around your lower back.

“My wife, my girl,” he growled into your mouth as he worked you against him. You braced your feet as best you could, but Din was determined to do things his way. You let him pull and release you with that iron grip, canting your hips back and forth as he rocked you on his length. He ducked his head back down and lapped at you again and again.

All you could manage was a breathy, “Ohhh,” as he kept thrusting up into you at a steady pace. You grasped at his shoulders, his hair, anywhere you could find a purchase to steady yourself.

“My wife has the sweetest tits in the whole galaxy. Such a good girl, letting me fuck her like this.” Din’s eyes sparkled as he looked up at you. “Want me to fuck another warrior into you, mesh’la? Another baby?”

“Yes, oh!” You felt your climax start to unfurl, every nerve tingling as his cock rubbed against your clit from this angle.

Din suckled you again and again, pausing only to growl praises and promises up into your mouth.

“You’d like that? You want me to fill you up again? I’ll keep you pregnant all the time, full of milk for me and our babies.” His arm wrapped tighter around your waist as he fucked up inside of you harder. “Keep your tits full? Keep you dripping sweet milk, all for me?”

You nodded and kissed him. “Yes, please- yes, yes. Fill me up, Din. I want you to.”

“Come for me first, sweet girl.” Din cupped his free hand under your knee and lifted your leg high and open. “Touch yourself. I want my wife to come around my cock.”

Your hand flew down inside your panties to touch your clit, rubbing and pressing it in circles, trying desperately to follow his wishes. Finally you felt the finish coming. You gasped out to him as you came and Din kept his eyes pinned on your face as you cried out. Your cunt squeezed and milked his cock as he began to spurt his own release deep inside. Din let go of your leg, and both arms wrapped your waist in a vise grip as he ground himself into you and climaxed.

When you were both spent, Din brought both hands to cup your breasts, licking the last of your milk from the swollen nipples.

Din’s “Hmmmm…” reverberated through his lips, the deepest and most satisfied sound you could imagine. You felt him hot inside of you, and you were reluctant to lift yourself off his lap. He softened inside of you bit by bit as he licked your nipples, squeezing both breasts until he was satisfied that he had gotten every last drop.

You draped your arms around the back of Din’s neck and let his cheek rest against your breast, curling your fingers gently in the back of his hair and feeling him finally soften fully.

“Will you sleep well, my husband?” You gently teased him, a soft smile on your lips as you looked down at him and stroked his face.

Din looked up at you from under his lashes, and your heart ached at how peaceful his big brown eyes were, how comforted he looked there in your arms. You wanted him to look like that forever. You wished you could somehow wipe all worry and strain from his life. But maybe this was the best you could do for your husband, just comfort him and give him solace when he needed it most.

Din closed his eyes and breathed deeply, and you let him rest there a while longer.

---

Din Djarin/Mando character masterlist

Main masterlist

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[b0rista]

i keep seeing dad!levi on the tl and i cant stop thinking abt him as a dad😩 can i request drabble/hc/fic of levi and his s/o adopting gabi and falco🥰 no thoughts. just dad!levi brainrot go brrrrt

— ADOPTIVE FATHER! LEVI HEADCANONS + FALCO & GABI. ♡︎

AUTHOR'S NOTES: gn! reader.

never would you have ever expected to take in a pair of children as your own. better yet, never would you have ever expected him to. while you knew his soft side all too well, everyone has their limits.

gabi and falco moving in with you and levi likely just,, happened. a temporary housing for them, considering they had nowhere else to go. seeing as though imprisonment for a second time was a bit of a reach, it was a minor debate within headquarters regarding what to do with the two. through careful consideration, your lover made a decision.

what better way to supervise them than in our own home?

of course, the thought conflicted you. the enemy, living with you? sure, they were barely teenagers, but that didn't make them any less capable of murdering you in your slumber.

knowing levi, though, that would never be the case. the man was already the world’s most calculating insomniac, lord knows he’d never let either of those kids out of his sight. especially not around you. 

nevertheless, your guys’ experience living with the remaining warriors of marley would be far more different than either of you would ever think to realize. 

ACTUAL HEADCANONS BELOW: ⇩︎

to your surpise, falco’s quite literally the sweetest pre-teen to ever roam the earth. of course, you’d only assumed it was all an act. that was,, until you genuinely caught him attempting to befriend levi's horse one morning. he was outside holding a fistful of grass, holding it out to the thing as if it were some sort of a beast. eventually, you joined him, and you showed him just how to handle it. and while the boy seemed skeptical at first, you saw that glimmer in his eyes the moment the horse allowed him to pet its mane. from the window, levi only watched.

speaking of levi's horse, that thing absolutely despises gabi. you're not quite sure why, but it does. you've literally had to run out and claw her hair out from between its teeth before— she's scReaminG, you'Re screaming, even the horse is screaming.

"why does this keep happening to me?!"

"this has happened befoRe?"

whenever either of the two children curse, levi's quick to correct them. despite having quite the foul mouth himself, he doesn't hesitate whenever he has to toss out a blunt "language."

^ at first, they were bitter. with time, though, they stopped swearing.

a key moment in time that helped develop you and falco's relationship was one afternoon where he was helping you out with yard work. somehow, his little crush on gabi came up, and the two of you got to talking about it. after giving him some genuine, appropriate advice for a kid with a crush, he really did start looking at you differently.

as for levi and gabi, those two bonded over intense, hilarious training. he found her punching the air in his backyard, and decided to drop in with a few sarcastic pointers. somehow, it ended in him kicking the poor girl around like a rag doll— not violently, he never hurt her. instead, he fended off each and every attack she fired at him, leaving her absolutely exhausted. she was tired out, and he was perfectly fine. imagine gabi, laying on the ground, tired as shiT, and levi, gently nudging the toe of his boot into her side:

"you can fight, but you're messy. if you ever stand a chance at surviving this war you started, i suggest you clean up your act."

cue gabi, glaring.

"if you care so much, then help me become better."

and so he did 🥺🥺 the two bond over levi practically coaching her, and as the days merge into weeks, she grows to actually respect levi, and maybe even look up to him.

basically, while you and falco live your cottagecore lives and bond over horses and apple picking, levi and gabi beat the everliving shit out of eachother in the backyard. it's a great balance.

for the first couple of nights, eating at the dinner table with those two was disgustingly awkward. it was utter silence, nothing more. however, one night, falco dropped his fork, and when he bent down to get it, he looked underneath the table for a milliseconD— there levi was, leaned down, stArinG at him. it was both hilarious and terrifying altogether, and falco ended up screeching and knocking his head into the table, hard.

"I WAS GETTING A F O R K-"

"and? gRemlin."

it surprised all of you, hearing gabi laugh. a genuine, real laugh. eventually, that turned into a conversation. and after that, you had conversations during every dinner. the development process was cruel, but worth it.

the kids help you prepare breakfast in the morning while levi downs his fourth cup of tea at the table, and it's always cute. because of you, falco knows how to make scrambled eggs! and also because of you, gabi knows how to prank somebody using an uncooked noodle. literally, she just places a piece of it between her teeth, pretend to crack her nose, and crunch. she made falco scReAm, and levi just looked at you like 🤨 bitch, tf are u teaching her

now, this was around three months into supervising them. one night, they were sitting alongside you on the sofa, and you were reading them a story. while falco was into it, gabi thought it was silly— still, though, she listened. eventually, they passed the hell out on either side of you. you drifted off, as well. when you woke up, you'd woken up to levi, his head rested onto your lap while his knees prop him up from the floor. by the looks of it, he wanted to be included.

whenever either of them step out of line, they earn a swift flick to the forehead from levi. it's a daily thing. gabi says something stupid, flick. falco slacks off during chores, flick. one time, gabi tried flicking him back, and it just started a flick war. you were done with all three of them.

both gabi and falco love telling you about marley's technology. you'd never heard of such things, and to know that they exist? shit, the look on your face is priceless. they absolutely adore getting a reaction out of you, and they often butt heads over who gets to tell you what. when they do, cue the overly aggressive forehead flicks from levi.

while levi told you not to, you couldn't help yourself. you showed them just how cool it is to use ODM gear. of course, they lost their shit, because holy hell that looks fun. your boyfriend, of course, caught you swinging from tree to tree while the two children gawked at you, and he gave you a stern talking to. before he did, though, that motherfucker joined you in the trees. again, the kids lost it.

"loOKATTHEMFALCOLOOKLOOK-"

"i'MloOokinG-"

eventually, they just think you guys are the coolest people they've ever come across. which stirs up one heLL of an identity crisis for gabi, because,, lol aren't y'all devils or sum?

[koulia]

𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔..

◈ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 — keisuke baji

◈ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — !! VALHALLA ARC SPOILERS !! DONT READ IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA ,, major character death , angst for tha soul <3

◈ 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓 — one shot , gn!reader

◈ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 — angst

◈ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 — did i have to make this? no. did i want to? yes <3 the title would make more sense if u listen to i want you - mitski btw

it was the day of the fight between valhalla and toman, everybody had been preparing for it, mentally and physically.

you had invited baji over to your house a few minutes before it began, wishing to see him if anything happens; your gut feeling insisted to cherish this moment.

“i love you, baji.” you said, watching him strap his boots up.

“i love you too, but why’re you saying that outta nowhere?” he asks, the corners of his lips quirking up

you fiddled with your fingers, adjusting the promise ring he gave you 2 weeks ago, “just in case something bad happens. i want you to come home in one piece.”

“of course i’ll come home, i promise!” baji smiled, showing his fangs.

he wraps you into a hug, rocking you side to side, whispering an ‘i love you’.

and with that, he’s out the door, waving a goodbye as he turns on his motorcycle.

: : :

it had been hours since you’ve last seen baji, you were pacing back and forth, trying to think of what to do.

you made your mind up, grabbing your coat, keys, and phone— locking the door behind you as you run to the junkyard he said he’d be at.

you could hear the sounds of people getting their ass beat, but what stood out to you the most was baji’s voice. your legs felt like they could give out at any moment, yet you kept running to see him.

at that moment, he dropped to the ground, you ran to his side, chifuyu holding his now bloody body.

“BAJI!? W-WHAT DID YOU DO??” you screamed, tears pricking in your eyes. your legs ached when you dropped to your knees but you couldn’t care less.

“hey darlin, why’re you here?” he grimaced. his attempt to smile only hurting you more.

you shook your head as if you were trying to remove this image from your head, as if you were saying ‘no, this isn’t happening’. but your words were caught in your throat.

you held him in your arms, resting your forehead on his— ignoring that his blood was painting your jacket crimson.

“you promised me, baji. you promised that were coming home..” you sobbed violently, tears spilling from your eyes; you wanted to be strong, but seeing him like this, you just couldn’t.

“i know, and i’m coming home,” he raised his left hand, his matching promise ring still on his finger.

“you’re coming back..?” it felt like the end of your world, feeling baji’s body temperature lower quickly.

he slowly nodded his head, tears in his eyes too.

“i love you, y/n.” he whispered, barely audible if you weren’t so close. his eyes closed, breathing shakily.

“i love you, baji.”

he smiled one last time, before he stopped breathing. sobs racking through your body as you pulled him in closer.

baji was a man of his word, but maybe promises were meant to be broken..

©2021 g0joluvrrr all rights reserved . do not translate , repost / republish , edit , or claim any of my works as yours .

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[bakubabes-tatakae]

Request by anon: Here's a prompt! And its all about that Dabi Daddy thirst! Lets say you've been sending him dirty and thirsty texts and pictures to him allll day. But Dabi's busy with the league that day, so he cant just go and jack off! Just wait until Daddy gets home. He's gonna have to punish you for making him so hard all day...<3 <3 <3

Yes. 👏👏 I’m always down to write some Daddy Dabi smut. 🤤 The amount of happiness this man gives me is just *chefs kiss*

Haven’t We Talked About This? || {NSFW} Dabi x fem!Reader

Warnings: smut, oral sex, 18+ content, dirty talk, language, breeding kink

Word Count: 1.2k

A day working with the league was what was in Dabi’s future and he had a lurking feeling of regret as soon as he stepped foot outside your apartment. He had left without waking you up to say goodbye, he had thought he was doing you a favor by doing so, but you thought otherwise. Dabi knew that you hated being woken up, but he hadn’t put together the fact that he was going to be gone much longer than usual.

So when you awoke to find him nowhere near you and his phone and car keys gone you could have killed the man.

You plotted for a couple hours on how you could get back at him. You wanted to make him hurt. You wanted to make him regret ever leaving without saying I love you.

That’s when you got an idea.

Your eyes darted to your dresser as you pictured all the different lingerie sets that Dabi had bought you over the years. The ones that he always begged you to wear for him.

As you grabbed the silky fabric from the dresser the gears in your head continued to turn. Your phone lit up from across the room, a notification from an app, but just that flicker of light made you realize exactly what you could do to him.

Lingerie set after set you snapped as many pictures as you could. You wanted to make him suffer. A stockpile of photos now sat in your gallery, ready to make the man’s day just a tad bit harder.

Your finger hovered over the send button as you selected which picture you wanted to send first. Your anxiety grew the longer you waited, knowing that it would anger Dabi more and more each time.

Once you finally hit send and watched the message go through your anxiety faded a little. Now it was time to see what he had to say about it.

* * * * * *

Dabi felt his phone vibrate softly in his pocket as he stood behind Shigaraki and listened to the conversation before him. He slowly lifted it out of his pocket and met the eyes of the Yakuza Leader they were meeting with.

Your name hovered on his screen along with an attachment. He figured it was probably a picture of something you wanted to get for the apartment, looking for his opinion, but when he opened it and saw you sprawled on the bed in his favorite lingerie set his eyes grew wide.

He could feel the expression on his face change, but he tried his best to ignore it.

The Yakuza man’s expression changed a little as he watched Dabi and Shigaraki turned to look at him. With the best annoyed look he could muster, Dabi turned and put his phone back in his pocket.

But he had no idea what was coming for him.

* * * * * *

Picture after picture coming through his phone made him want to shut it off, and he might have done it if he didn’t have a reason to make sure you had a line of connection with him. His work was dangerous and he was always ready to come to your rescue if he needed to.

Each time he saw the word attachment alongside your name he wanted so badly to not open it, but his worst fears would come into play. What if it was a picture of you kidnapped? What if you needed him?

Sitting in meetings was beginning to be uncomfortable. It was rare that Shigaraki gave them bathroom breaks and when he did they weren’t nearly long enough for Dabi to get rid of his urges.

His erection pushed at his pants and his anger slowly grew steeper and steeper. If he was embarrassed by a stiffy because of you he would make your life a living hell.

So when the boss man finally told him that they were free to go he played it cool on his phone for a few minutes thinking of things to bring himself down. When he was finally able to get up and leave he was seeing red.

* * * * * *

You placed his favorite set back on when you got a text saying he was heading home and waited for him on the bed. You could tell just how angry he was by the way he worded his text message.

You heard the front door to your apartment open quickly and jumped as it slammed behind him. His heavy boots could be heard pounding down the hallway as he made his way to your room.

When he turned the corner and entered the doorway the last thing he had expected to see was you sprawled on the bed. He had tried his hardest to stay mad, he had wanted to curse you out, but it turned to nothing but lust.

He leaned his tall frame against the doorway and crossed his arms. “You know how angry it makes me when you send me those things, right? Haven’t we talked about this?”

You rolled onto your stomach and looked over your shoulder at him. “I might have forgotten about that.”

Dabi stood up straight again and sauntered toward the bed. “Are you sure you forgot? Or were you just looking to piss me off?”

You said nothing and crawled across the bed, climbing onto your knees in front of him. You pulled at his shirt and bit your lip. “What are you gonna do if I just wanted to piss you off, Dabi?”

A wicked chuckle left his lips and he reached to his pants and unzipped them slowly. His hands pulled his boxers and jeans down his legs and a sly grin painted his face. “It’s time for you to find out.”

Dabi’s hand reached up and wrapped around the back of your head, wrapping into your hair. He used your hair to pull you down to his erect length. You knew what he wanted and you knew that he wouldn’t stop until he got just that.

Your mouth slowly engulfed his cock, your head slowly bobbing around him. But he wasn’t going to let you off so easily.

His hand stayed wrapped in your hair, pushing your head onto his length. With every push and every thrust of his hips he bottomed himself out against the back of your throat. But he was growing closer and closer to his release and he wasn’t going to stop for anything. “Look at you, dollface, taking my cock so well. You look so perfect in this position.”

Your eyes began to water as you tried your hardest to keep from stopping him. As you began to push his hips away, he slowed, his warm, salty cum painting the back of your throat.

His hand pulled your head back and you smiled as you licked your lips. “Now it’s time to fill you up more. But dollface, we’re not done until every last drop of my cum stays between those pretty little legs of yours.” He pulled back harder and placed a rough kiss to your lips. “If even a drop drips out and we’ll be doing it over and over again.”

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[the-closested-bisexual-himbo]

Neil sent Billy to boot camp pre-Hawkins

Before they moved to Hawkins, Neil tried to “put Billy straight” (oof the phrasing) by sending him to military school, that’s where Billy got into fitness as an escape and release. As well as drinking and smoking.

That’s also where he found out he liked boys. One of the smaller guys there that was just as scared, was a goof ball with him from the start. He talked Billy up with each week's gains, always joking, bro manner of course. He helped him feel better about himself after a life time of being cut down by Neil.

A couple times when he’d find him emotional and hiding, Billy comforted him and the other boy would console him the same when Billy was in his isolative, quiet moods, as well as the rare, but intense, breakdowns.

They even held each other a few times, which really solidified the worries in the back of Billys mind his whole life, each time. In those moments they were intimate for the comfort of the other, though in the embrace, all Billy could think was, “fuck, I still feel the same way. I thought it’d go away.. thought it was a one time, two time thing. Just an isolated incident type thing. But nope.. I feel the same.”

A few times after they held each other they sat there, back in the safety of separate selves once more. But Billy would feel the need creep up the second the pull away started. He’d sit there in the ache of wanting it back, wanting.. wanting more. He’d sit there in that silence waiting for something, anything to either take him away from the feeling or.. (he hoped) towards it, falling, deeper into it.

He longed more then anything to just fuckin stop fighting it and give in. To open his mouth and speak his way into a direction, to shake free from that stuckness of the spot he always seemed to land himself in. He couldn’t though, but one time. One god damn night of drinking and he was praying, literally praying to whatever the fuck be, that they’d have mercy on him. That they’d provide some peace for him, if only just a moment! And he got just that, JUST.. fucking.. that.

Drunkenly they talked in the showers, which was a separate, small building, far enough away from the places where the others slept that they could speak freely. So when everyone was asleep, this night, they did just that.. only they got emotional and that comfort finally turned into the more he had dreamed of.

They pulled back, signaling the ending of the hug and Billy almost found the will to just touch his face, to maybe push further even.. to kissing him. But no he couldn’t, but the thought or the feelings must have shown because Billy settled back into the personal spiral he always had after. Alone again, he felt, transfixed by all the ghosts back out to play, he hadn’t noticed the guy was slowly coming back into his space.

On his hands and knees just the few feet over but feeling like a life long strip tease granted just for him. Billy was wasted at sea, being pulled down in the heavy waves of self hate so all he could do was look over, head back, sprawled half on the floor, propped up against the wall. He swallowed watching him come closer. Billy’s breathe quickened as he looked the other, over taking in the moment of ‘maybe’.

The other boy looked around, nervously, checks bursting pink enough so that, even in the bit of moon light through the windows he could see it. He looked fuckin beautiful and it made Billy’s heart race but he was still stuck. “Please” Billy thought, “fuck, PLEASE give me more, please I need you, I neeeeed more but I just…. I CANT DO IT! I can’t be the one to-Please.”

He mustered up a small smile at the other that came across, he was sure, as very awkward, but he was trying to show that he was at least comfortable with whatever he was trying to go for. His anxiety made him huff a small laugh out, he wet his lips a bit. Left his mouth open a bit once he let the smile drop.

“Could I- would you be mad if I asked you for something?” The other boy whispered, inches from him. Billy nods ‘no’ swallowing anxiously again, trying to find his breath, feeling his stomach tighten with heat.

The other boy rested his hand on Billy’s open thighs further driving home his next question “are you sure?” Billy still can’t speak but he nods yes as he looks down at the others hand, swallowing with the thoughts of hope that arose.

“Could I- maybe- if you don’t want to just tell me, don’t get mad okay?.. please.” He took a moment growing redder “But.. can I.. kiss you?” Billys stomach tingles with excitement, heart aching, he nods as much of a yes as he can muster in awe that it’s finally has happened! His prayers have been answered! The boy using his leverage on Billy’s thigh to push up and lean over slowly to kiss him. Dragging it out just as slowly as Billy wanted it, to take in every fuckin detail of that moment.

Low lids, looking each other over until their lips met and they melted. Eyes closed in ecstasy, Billy let out a little muffled whimper. Then the other boy was coming in, packed tightly into him, to sit right between his limp, spread legs. Billy suddenly felt a jolt of electricity when his hand slide from his thigh to his hard bulge in his pants. Whimpering again, sighing his relief into the others mouth.

As he knew the creator had a fucked sense of human, a moment of peace granted was only that. Suddenly he heard something, saw streams of hash lights abruptly washed over them. There’s a couple of guys with flash lights, then the main lights shocked the depth of the situation through him, in an instant, outpouring the lesson Billy still had a ways to learn.

They started yelling about how they’re gonna tell. Fear makes Billy black out some but next thing he knows, they do just that. He’s sent home early as dishonorable as they can state things, they tell Neil.

Billy has to lie that the guy had tried to put the moves on him and he was drunk and asleep in the showers. It didn’t stick as well as he’d like but it still was just enough to let Neil think he wasn’t gay or at least not the type of boy that went out looking for it but the horny one, who, if under the right circumstances, if one crawled into his lap and asked nice enough..

——

Then they moved and.. well.. he thought he’d left this all behind, that he’d be able to leave these childish thoughts behind, then he sees Steve fucking Harrington.

Steve reminds him of the guy a lot. Maybe that’s why he finds himself fixated on him so damn hard. That’s probably the reason for the anger that comes rippling through him like a tsunami every time he sees the beautiful fuck. Probably why he finds himself trying to get close to him at a every possible chance, even if that closeness comes from Steve being on the other end of his blind rage, at all that Steve symbolizes for him.

Even if he’s on the receiving end of Steve’s own rage, he doesn’t care one bit, loves it even. He hates himself for it but every punch given or taken really does feel like a kiss to him.. like that moment that had dragged on in the showers. The blows tasting like love and lust, like blood and tears, like the ones he bites back so often, at night, alone, quite as he can.

They taste like the most ugly delights he dreams of, the want being crushed back down forcibly by Steve’s fists into his face. Like warm waves crashing over him. The closest to freedom he’ll get.

The lust, piercingly struck into the very face and body Billy wants, feral rage of a mask keeping the truth at bay as best he can in those moments.

But Billy wondered to himself sometimes, in times when he’d get too close, took a bit too long for a comeback or blow, that Steve may catch it in his eyes the same way the other boy had. The thought gave him the same stupid hope he had then too, and yet he’d still find himself stealing those extra moments. A victim to his desires. Straddling Steve mid-yoking him up by his shirt to meet a hit.. and just, dazed for a moment too long.. he was so helpless to it though.

That’s why you see, he was helpless to Steve and that’s truly what made his jaw tighter (every day in this hell hole of a town), his fists hit harder, his words that much nastier, always leaving a bitter taste of irony behind, because those were the only tools at his disposal. Those things kept him armored, kept him from being found out, from being totally dumbfounded by his want for the other and stuck still as a statue without an ounce of control left in him. If he put these masks of violence between him and this problem they helped him keep some level of restraint, control. But the longer this went on for, the more he wondered just how long he’d be able to do this for.

(Because in the short time since the first boy he’d had a real crush on, to now, the hurt had grown too much to bare, just that alone, enough to drive him to sickness. Add in to the equation of the same feelings, the same dreams, for some new pretty boy. Add in that since, said new crush, his decline of mental health was all too visible to every damn person. But try as he did, he couldn’t grasp at the sides of this slide, just nose dive down, down, down. His best attempt at helping?.. wetting his way down with booze. If that didn’t kill him, or the smoking, or the bold moves he’d shoot Neils way to feel some odd sense of actual strength, would.

It was odd, cause when he worked out it was only to fight the thoughts, the voices in his head, which never helped him feel any better. But standing up to Neil gave him a high he didn’t know just quite why, but, it’s like Neil was the only man he could truly stand up to without feeling a shred of that “maybe”(for obvious reasons), only pure animosity and that made him feel, finally.. out of its death grip, finally able to stand solid in some semblance of power. Even if the hurt to come was hell. Sickly comforting in a way, it was his own personal hell loop he couldn’t help but keep on playin into.

‘Only for so long’ he thought back to himself weary in bed, a silent tear rolling down his check. He was tired, and on the highway to the real hell, only a matter of time, but something in him begged, some part whimpered these pleas out, once more (just about every night, at least the ones he could remember) like prayers whispered into the vast ocean of the universe, in hopes that maybe, before he gave way to these ravenous tides Steve would somehow.. for some reason, find it in himself to, despite everything, throw him a lifeline.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid, no guy that perfect, no boy that soft in every sense of the word.. beautifully so, could ever find it in him to love a boy like you.” A voice would speak something like this every time he prayed his last hope out, ‘even still, doesn’t hurt to try’ in the smallest of ways like he did. He’d think back. ‘I can’t help but hope as it is, but even that flame will die some day, hopefully, with me.’)

—————————————-

The line “and then the main lights shocked the depth of the situation through him, in an instant, outpouring the lesson Billy still had a ways to learn“ is referring, in a poetic sense to John 8:17, (ESV) “For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light.” Thought it’d be cool since he says he’s praying to ‘whatever be’ to slide in a little reference to that one quote, being that it’s a fitting cliché on secrets. Also.. gay. Repressed gay feels. As much as I’m not a believer of monotheistic religions, I feel it just helps highlight things for us repressed gays. I actually, out of Billy like rebellion, want to make a super metal and dark arts quote filled work too. 🤘🏻🤪🖤

(Also wouldn’t it make sense he doesn’t cut his hair in rebelling against them shaving his head for it)

[amnxsia]

ilanga 

(n.) a person who will forgive anything the first time, tolerate the second time but never a third time.

A/n: Inspired by my brainrot. Everything that is said in German will be translated and bolded.

Taglist:  @shisoaya, @callmepromise, @namischild, @namrekcaivel, @icedkoffees, @erens-piss-cleaner, @sofi-yeager, @peachysimp, @fiaficsxo, @eremiie, @odmlevis, @weepinglevi​

Summary: Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction is what brought it back.

Content: dom and sub undertones, smut. nsfw minors dni

Trigger Warnings: manipulation, public sex, dacryphilia, branding, cigarettes, dedegration, slapping.

Word Count: 2241

Forgive anything the first time.

“Jean how many times do I have to tell you, Y/n isn’t allowed to drink.” Eren says staring daggers at him.

“And why the hell shouldn’t she? Just because you’re her boyfriend doesn’t mean you can tell her what she can’t and can do it’s a fucking party for god sakes Jaeger.”

“Ja, warum kann ich nicht etwas trinken Eren?” You say standing behind Jean. with big glassy doe eyes.

“Yeah why cant I have a drink Eren?” 

Eren ignores you. Knowing that this is your first strike.

“You know what fuck you Jean, and fuck this party. I’m going home.”

Ignoring whatever else Jean has to say Eren pulls you towards him and whispers.

“Dies ist dein erster Schlag, also viel Spaß Prinzessin”

“This is your first strike so have fun princess.”

Ah there it is, his dominance.

One of the many things that ran straight to your core. Making you clench your legs, one of the many things to love about Eren Jaeger.

Even if you manipulated him time to time you would always be running back to him like a lost puppy trying to find it’s lost owner.

“Jean I’m leaving the party too. Have fun.”

“Whatever.”

You walk out the door, seeing a figure sitting on the curb.

“So bald zurück? Ich dachte, du würdest Spaß mit Pferdegesicht haben und einen Sturm kichern” Eren saying with a smirk.

“Back so soon? I thought you would be having fun with horse face and giggling up a storm.”

“Eren we don’t have to talk in German all the time.” you say giggling while bending down to sit next to him.

“Oh? But I thought you loved it when I talked in German, you would always clench you thighs whenever I would speak, it’s cute that you actually thought I didn’t notice.” Eren says sliding closer to you dipping his hand at your cunt rubbing it very slowing.

“Du bist schon so nass und ich habe dich noch nicht einmal richtig berührt“ Eren whispers in your ear. Shoving your panties to the side and teasing your folds.

“Your so wet already and I havent even touched you properly yet.”

Now sinking a slender finger inside stretching you out, you bit your lip to contain the moans.

Eren smirks.

“What’s wrong baby? just because we’re in public doesn’t mean you have to be quiet, no as far as I am concerned you can say my name no you can moan it, and not in German in English for everyone to hear. I want everyone to know that this pretty cunt belongs to me and only me.” He says while laughing.

“Im sorry.”

Eren stops.

“What was wrong sweet pea?” He says no teasing or playfulness laced with voice just genuine concern.

“I said I’m sorry. I just don’t want other girls all over you .” You say with hot tears streaming down your face.

Ah.

Needy baby.

“It’s okay baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’ll stop bringing them.”

Eren kisses you and ruffles your hair.

“I’ll see you later.”

Tolerate the second

You were doing it again.

Pissing him off.

You said you were sorry the last time, but you also loved how angry he would get if you were around other guys.

Like now.

You were sandwiched between two guys who were getting handsy with you, but you could care less about Eren and his anger issues, you would win this bet and that would be it.

But unbeknownst to you Eren was staring at you with nothing but a loving smile at you. Sitting down in a chair with his legs crossed, he was wearing black all over, sliver rings to compliment his fingers, his hair pulled back into a man bun with a few baby hairs sticking out, and black leather boots.

You looked over to him to see if he reacted in any type of way, but you started to panic when you saw him looking your way with a smile on his face. You get up and usher everyone out.

“Party’s over.”

When everyone had dispersed you focus your attention to Eren who would still looking at you with a smile on his face.

“Oh? Party ist vorbei, wie kommt es, dass es gerade interessant wurde.”

“Oh? Party's over how come it was just getting interesting.”

“Warum benimmst du dich so?”

“Why are you acting like this eren?”

“Because you think I’m fucking stupid that’s why.”

“Excuse me?”

Eren ignores your statement.

“Lass diese Jungs und diese Wette nicht zu deinem verdammten Kopf gehen, denn ich werde dich wieder zur Relalität bringen.”

“Don’t let those boys and this bet go to your fucking head because I will bring you back down to reality.”

“Warum nimmst du teil, wenn du schon wütend wirst? Ich beweise jetzt schon einen Punkt und die Wette ist noch nicht einmal beendet.”

“Why are you participating if your getting mad already im already proving a point now and the bet is not even finished.”

Eren pulls you closer to him and spreads your legs with his knee

“You’ll figure it out tomorrow if you piss me off again.”

But never a third time

Today was the last day of your bet with Eren. And of course you wanted to see what he had planned for you, even if that meant burying your own grave. Today was your 2 year anniversary and later tonight you would be going to a dinner with Eren, family and friends so they could meet him. 

This was the perfect opportunity for all of Eren’s wrath to come down on you.

You decided to wear the shortest skirt you could find. You did your makeup, hair, and decided to put some rings on your fingers just like Eren.

After completing your look you walk downstairs to see Eren in a suit with rings on his fingers and a single earring dangling from his earlobe.

“Hey.”

“You look nice today.”

“Thanks.”

The car ride to the restaurant was very quiet, slowed and reverb music was playing from the radio.

Now at the restaurant Eren greets your parents and close friends.

Now everyone is in their seats before a waitress comes up and asks them what they would like to eat.

You look at your menu and say what you want and family says they want whatever you order.

Someone else walks in the restaurant with a smile and a box in their hands.

And it begins

Your mother pats you on your shoulder to tell you;

“Einer Ihrer Freunde hat etwas, das er Ihnen schenken möchte”

“One of your friends have something they want to give to you as a gift.”

Eren looks to the stranger with a concerned face, and then back to you.

“Wer ist er?”

“Who is he?”

You look at Eren trying contain a laugh.

“ein Freund.”

“A friend.”

Before Eren can say anything more the gentleman comes up to you and wraps his arms hugging you very tightly not to tightly just enough to give you affection.

“Hallo, es ist schon eine Weile her, wie geht es dir?”

“Hi it's been a while how are you?” He says with the biggest smile on his face.

“Ich war gut froh, dass es dir gut geht. Ich habe von einem kleinen Vogel gehört, dass du ein Geschenk für mich hast.”

“I've been good glad you are doing well I heard from a little birdy that you have a present for me.”

He blushes and he looks down at the floor, you take your hand and motions his head to look at you.

“Speak.”

And so he does.

“Ja, es ist ein Geschenk, es ist ein Ring mit meinem Namen, ich denke du wirst es mögen.”

“Yes it is a gift, it's a ring with my name on it i think you will like it.”

And thats when he takes out the ring and places it on your and then genty kisses your hand and wrists.

And thats when all hell breaks loose.

Eren quickly gets up from the table, dashes to your side and grabs your from the hem your shirt.

“Entschuldigung für die Unannehmlichkeiten, aber wir müssen jetzt gehen.”

“Sorry for the inconvenience but we need to leave now.”

Before either of your parents could say anything both you and Eren were out of the restaurant and heading to the car.

Eren throws you into the car, but his face is unreadable which is turning you on even more. He gets into the car and starts to drive, his knuckles white from how hard he’s gripping the steering wheel. Unlike from before he doesn’t allow you turn on the radio to ease the tension.

Now getting out the car you and Eren walks towards your shared house, he lets you enter the house first after entering the house he slams the door, making chills run down your body.

“Eren was ist los?”

“Eren what’s wrong-”

Eren slaps you.

“Jetzt will die Hure plötzlich reden?”

“Now the whore wants to talk suddenly?”

“Kleidung aus und auf allen vieren auf dem Boden.” Eren says while walking towards the living room.

“Clothes off and on all fours on the floor.”

And without a thought you discharge all of the clothes on your and make your way to the living to see Eren staring down at the floor with a cigarette between his slightly chapped lips, momentarily exhaling and inhaling the puffs of air.

“Schau nicht ohne Vorahnung auf.”

“Don't look up without permission.”

Eren takes another inhale of his cigarette.

“Ich habe dir gesagt, lass diese verdammte Wette nicht zu und andere Jungs gehen dir in den Kopf.”

“I told you dont let this fucking bet and other boys go to your head.”

And with that Eren grabs both of your wrists and gently plants the cigarette on your wrist.

“This is where he kissed you at right? This is where he planted those disgusting lips on you.”

You buck your hips to try and loosen his grip on you but to no avail.

“Answer me.”

“Ja.”

“Yes.”

“Now answer me this. Why are you letting other asshole touch you.”

“Eren-”

He pushes the cigarette down more on your skin, burning you a bit.

“Answer.”

“I was just accepting a gift from him, it didn’t mean anything I swear.”

“Now why would I believe you? This whole week you’ve been trying to piss me off and you know what y/n, have you succeeded in doing that so I’m having a hard time believing in anything that you say right now.”

Eren let’s his grip on your wrist goes, and places the cigarette in the ash tray. And then grabbing your neck up so you were both eye to eye.

“Tell me the truth and I’m all yours baby.” He said lightly licking your neck.

“Explain it all in German for me.” He said adding on, crossing his legs.

“Ich wollte mich wütend machen, damit du mich so hart ficken kannst, so gut, ich liebe es so sehr, ich liebe dich so sehr.”

“i wanted to make mad at me so you could fuck me like so hard, so good, i love it so much, i love you so much.”

You exhale, tears running down your face, you start to rut your bare cunt against the hardwood floor.

Your crying and the sight of you trying to get off on the floor went straight to Eren’s dick.

Eren starts to unbuckle his pants, his freed cock slapping aganist his abdomen.

“You think you can handle it baby?”

“Mhm yes- I know I can, I’ll be good again I promise, I’ve been acting so terrible these past few weeks and making you angry m’sorry Eren.”

And with that Eren bridal carries you to your shared bed room and gently puts you down.

“Open.”

And you do opening your mouth wide, Eren sticks two of his fingers in your mouth.

“Do I need to prep you?”

You shake your head no.

Eren smirks “Good girl.”

And with that Eren enters your hole.

“I love you, you know that right?” Eren says playing with your hair.

“Yes I know.”

“And everything I do is for you remember that. From the way I fuck you, from the way I do all of acts of service to words of affirmation there all for you and no one else.” He says finally moving the once quiet filled house now turning into sounds of skin slapping, panting that would last all the way into the evening then into the night.

Next day

You woken to the morning rays that were peeking out from your windows. Turning over you see that Eren had left but to where you wonder. Not that it matter you don’t care about anyone else but him, only him and him alone matters.

Somewhere far away, Eren had a box in his hand and a note along with it. He was at a house your parent’s house. Now knowing that your parents didn’t ever want to you to be with him he knocks on the door before setting the box and the note on the welcome mat and then walking away, hopping into his car.

The box being a wedding invation and a note saying; “Wenn du versuchst, für mich zu kommen, blühe ich weiter <3″

“You try to come for me I keep on flourishing. <3″

© all content belongs to amnxsia 2021. do not modify or repost.

[rodeo-boots]

Hi there! Im not sure if I've requested from you before have I?

So I was wondering if I could have a one-shot Sadie/F!ChubbyReader? Something sweet that gets steamy.

I was thinking that it could be the readers having a rough time because she thinks she's unworthy of love and the fact that she's into women makes it even harder.

Take your time, no need to rush~

Feel free to message me if you cant/won't do this I understand Xx

You hadn't requested from me before, btw. BUT I really loved writing this one for you! I hope it's what you've been looking for <3 (I also hope there are no more errors left, I only proofread this once)

Rating: Explicit

Words: 2679

Warnings: NSFW, Low Self-Esteem Reader (Body-Image issues)

AO3

––––––––––––––––––––––

It was one of the rare occasions when camp was quiet, most gang-members fast asleep as darkness spread over Clemens Point.

You had missed the silence, already used to the rambunctious songs, to the laughter and chatter of the others. Even if those good times never were to last.

These days, it was hard to achieve happiness, to feel even remotely safe, your travels East having shaken the entire group to the core.

And sometimes, you wished you had stayed in the West, had bought land and settled down like you've planned, even if that might not have changed a thing.

When it was quiet, like now, your mind often wandered, drifted along with the sounds of rippling water.

It was nice here, better than it had been up at Colter, but you still felt out of place. And no amount of fresh air or crisp water could change that.

With a sigh, you leaned further against the log behind you, your arms crossed in front of your chest where you sat.

At least in the darkness, no one had to stare at you. Had to see you.

You could just be, with no obligations to be appealing to anyone at all.

Never before had Dutch sent you out to distract any targets, to use your good looks on unsuspecting fools like the other women at camp often did. Because you had none. Or so you told yourself.

Of course it was harsh, of course you had other things to offer. But with a couple pounds too many, with chub around your cheeks and your hips, you didn't feel as attractive as you wished you would be.

You envied Abigail, Mary-Beth, Karen, Tilly... if not for their appearance then for their confidence. And Sadie? Sometimes you wished you could walk a day in her shoes, that you could stop caring about what other people thought and put on some pants.

Though you feared you'd only get stared at more like that.

Time went by without you noticing. Maybe you've nodded off somewhere down the line, the sight of the water gleaming beneath the moonlight oddly tranquil and soothing to you.

Your thoughts continued to roam, continued to shift and flow like the water in front of you.

Occasionally, you'd see a fish jump out of the lake, would hear a nocturnal bird taking flight within the nearby trees. And you yearned to be free like them; free of judgment, of society's standards, and your own low self-esteem.

You wondered if they perceived beauty like humans did, if they stared down at the two-legged, wingless creatures, saw long and flowing hair idly whipping in the breeze, or a freckled face and bright eyes and fell in love.

It would be a loss if they didn't, if they were unable to see what you did – and you decided that maybe, being a human might not be all that bad.

Sure, all you could do was behold the beauty around you. You knew you would never get a chance of something more; knew you couldn't compliment the way Sadie's yellow blouse flattered her figure and receive more than a simple "thank you".

It had always been like that – you, finding beauty in another woman, finding beauty in her voice, the sparkle in her eyes and the way she strutted and sauntered along the way. You knew you couldn't change that, knew that you would never be 'normal', but hell, you didn't want to be. If there even was such a thing as normal.

In the past, and even up to the current day, you've struggled with it. With your sexuality.

You had come to terms with it, of course, but you knew that you only stood out more with your chosen way of life. If your body wasn't enough to keep people away, your orientation might just be, and it worried you, what the others might think should you ever come out to them.

It hadn't been your intention to grow upset, your brain doing it to yourself no matter what you tried to do about it.

So you sat and stared out onto the lake, gaze blank as you simply beheld the beauty all around. Watching, and doing nothing, as always.

The sound of boots upon sand drew you out of your thoughts, your head turning to see a familiar figure approaching.

She was tall, slim, her hair braided beneath her hat. A few strands hung loose, though that only held it's special charm.

"What're you doin' out here?" Sadie asked, sitting down on the fallen tree behind you. She kept a bit of a polite distance, crossing her legs as her elbows rested upon her propped up knee.

You swallowed softly, looked back ahead and out onto the wide lake. "Just thinking," you explained, unable to come up with anything else that might explain you being restless and awake at this time of day.

The other woman hummed, her own gaze trailing over the water in front of her.

It appeared black in the dark of night, only little light reflexes showing the movement of the soft waves.

"Did someone say somethin' again?"

Her sudden words brought you back to reality, the silence between you having stretched for a couple minutes before. It wasn't rare that the less pleasant people at camp upset you over your insecurities, pointed out facets of yourself that didn't need to be addressed.

You shook your head, anyhow. Today, that hadn't been the case. Besides, you never knew Sadie paid any attention to the treatment you received. "It's me," you mumbled after a moment of consideration. "Me who made me feel like crap."

And while you huffed at the words you spoke, they were genuine. Oftentimes, it was you who made your life harder than it had to be.

Sadie pushed herself off the log, plopped down into the slightly moist sand by your side. You watched her from the corners of your eyes, unsure what she was intending to do.

But she didn't do anything, merely sat with you and stared out into the water, thinking about what you had said before.

"I did that a lot," she eventually spoke up, turning to face you. "Guess it ain't the same, but I– sat and thought a lot, too. That never seemed to help." She chuckled, but the sound was rather mirthless, her tone more serious than anything.

You had seen her in the past, had seen her sitting outside of camp, far from anyone else. She's had a broken heart to nurse, had a terrible loss to get over, and in the end she had come out stronger than ever.

"You don't gotta tell me, if you don't want. Maybe it'd make you feel better, though."

Inhaling, you thought about her words, wondered if you would even be able to put your innermost thoughts and feelings into words.

Never before had someone asked you to share them, no one ever having as much of an interest in you as that.

"It's nothing," you tried to deflect, tried to invalidate your troubles in order to not burden Sadie with them here and now.

The woman snorted, however, raised a brow as she looked at you. "Don't look like nothin' to me," she pointed out, not impolitely.

"How about this–" she sat up, her back against the log as she gestured for you to come closer, to lean back against her chest.

For a moment you could only stare in disbelief, though you took the chance now that it was offered to you. It had been a while since you've last been physically close to anyone, after all.

"Comfortable?" Sadie asked. You gave her a nod, your heart racing in your chest and beating within your ears.

Holy Shit. That hadn't been how you'd imagined this night would go.

Sadie wrapped her arms around you loosely, rested her chin atop your head. She seemed content herself, seemed like she had wanted to do that for a long while. The thought made your heart skip a beat.

"I know you think you're worse than you are," Sadie spoke up again, keeping her voice low while speaking to you. It was oddly soothing, her usual rough tone sounding more than just pleasant to your ears. "But you ain't bad. Truth be told, I admire you."

That made you pause, your breath catching in the back of your throat. "Me? For what?"

She chuckled kindly, brushing through your hair to tuck a few strands behind your ear. "For knowin' who you are, and what you want. For stayin' true to yourself no matter what anyone says."

Yet again, you hadn't expected her to be all that perceptive, hadn't expected her to know much about you at all. For as long as you've known her, your conversations had been brief, cut short by your occasional shyness and nervosity. Sadie seemed to have read you better than you ever could've thought.

"I..." you weren't sure what to say, or if you should say anything at all. The woman's arms around you were soothing, almost soporific, though the warmth pooling within you made it hard to consider dozing off.

"I always wanted t'know more about you," Sadie continued, nuzzling the top of your head, her lips brushing over your strands of hair. "Wanted to know more 'bout the beautiful woman who's stolen my heart."

You were sure this had to be a dream, that you had passed out after all and your mind was playing tricks on you by now.

But Sadie felt as real as could be, her hot breath in the nape of your neck, her arms around your waist, thighs left and right of your hips. Whatever you had thought of before, all your insecurities and doubts, it all seemed far away by now.

"Me– Me, too," you brought out, confessing to your feelings without directly doing so. Sadie was more bold and confident than you were, was more brave and straight-forward in your eyes. And just like she had said before, you admired her just as well. But most importantly, you were sure you loved her.

Feeling enlivened by her words, empowered by the warmth swelling within your heart, you turned around, straddled her lap and properly looked her in the face. "I think I love you," you properly confessed, cupping her freckled cheeks like you've wished to do for so long already.

She smiled up at you, keeping her hands on your waist for now as she leaned in, and captured your lips with her own.

The kiss didn't last as long as you've wanted it to, but upon pulling away, Sadie spoke up again; "I know I love you." Her smile grew, your forehead resting on hers when you returned the gesture.

Once your lips had met the first time, you couldn't stop yourself from going in for a second kiss. Your eyes fluttered shut, fingertips gliding along Sadie's sides and down to the hem of her shirt. Now that you knew of her feelings towards you, and were fully certain as those within yourself, you only wanted more.

She reacted in kind, teased your tongue with hers when her lips parted ever so slightly, a moan slipping into the kiss. You weren't sure if it had come from you or her, but that didn't matter much, not when your hands soon met bare skin, fingers gripping her sides while her own ran along your thighs.

"You wanna do this right here?" She asked, leaning back a little to capture your stare.

Slightly out of breath, you nodded. Hell, you didn't care where you'd do this, as long as you could feel her skin on yours.

Without missing a beat, Sadie worked on helping you out of your dress, glancing back, only to make sure camp was as quiet as it had been before.

Even if a few drunkards were still milling about, you couldn't care less, your fingers working on her buttons to relieve her off her top layer, before climbing off her lap to get her pants off her hips.

Naked, you laid back in the sand, invited her to follow you only for her lips to meet yours again. She placed her hat on top of your head, gave you a small smirk as her lips wandered lower, over your collarbone and down to your chest.

Moving boldly, her mouth latched onto one nipple right away, one hand kneading the other breast while she suckled and licked your sensitive bud.

Your breath hitched, spine curving to get closer to her heavenly mouth, your head already swimming without her having done too much just yet.

Soon enough, she had stimulated your other nipple to full hardness as well, laying down on her side next to you, and pulling you in for another kiss. "Let's keep this quiet," she muttered, her fingeres wandering once again until they reached your sex, a hum leaving her lips when she discovered the hot wetness there.

She caressed your folds, encouraged you to hitch one leg up and around her hip while coating her fingers within your slick. Slowly, her fingers circled your clit, made your hips jerk sporadically and your muscles tense here and there.

"Can I?" You had only pulled away from the kiss for a second, glancing at her while your fingers slid down her flat stomach.

"Be my guest," she grumbled, trailing lovebites along your collarbone and up to your shoulder, the small motions of her fingers on your clit steadily driving you insane.

To offer her the same kind of pleasure, your hand soon found the spot between her legs, met with an equal wetness as that between your own. You groaned, teasingly gliding your fingers through her folds before your thumb focused solely on her nub.

She gasped, almost sounding surprised, like she hadn't been touched there in a while, though that only spurred you on more. You wanted her to feel as good as possible, pulling away after another few moments only to propose another idea.

"I wanna taste you," you muttered, fingers disappearing from her soaked cunt as you laid back. Seemingly catching on right away, Sadie climbed on top, straddling your face while hers was right in front of your own crotch.

With the new position, you dove in without a moment's hesitation, held onto her hips and pulled her close as your tongue licked through her folds and up to her nub.

She moaned out, had to have bitten down on her lip to keep more sounds from surfacing before she leaned down herself, and focused on your clit right away.

Besides the sounds of your actions, the occasional slurping, squelching and your labored breaths, it was still mostly quiet, the area belonging solely to you in this moment.

You rolled your hips upwards, chased more of the heavenly feeling of her mouth on you as you felt yourself getting close.

Clearly, Sadie wasn't all that far, either, her abdominal muscles flexing while her thighs tried to squeeze your head, the motions of her tongue growing more desperate the closer she got to her climax.

It was over much too quickly, had been too long for you to hold back at all, your body tensing for a moment before releasing in a rush of endorphins that was better than anything you've had before.

You pulled back for air, slipped two fingers into Sadie's tight cunt to grant her a satisfying release as well, and watched, when she shook and trembled through her very own orgasm.

She rolled off of you after a moment, cursing under her breath as she did so.

It wasn't long before she crawled back up to you, however, before her lips met yours and you could taste yourselves upon each other's tongue.

"You fancy a midnight swim?" She asked when she pulled away, sitting back on her knees and helping you up when you agreed.