#i cant stop staring at these pics like i am obsessed...

[nectar-cellar]

YOU ARE HYPERREAL - TS3 Normal Map Replacement

I edited Buhudain’s "You Are Real" face and body default replacement normal maps to make the details pop even more on the skin. First, can we talk about the impact these mods made? When I discovered them I was blown away, they immediately became an essential. Buhudain truly changed the game with these.

What I tweaked:

I edited Buhudain's 2048 px sized textures 

More visible pores and skin texture 

More defined muscles and veins (intensity controlled by the muscle definition slider in CAS) 

More light-reflective, shinier skin (intensity changes with the muscle definition slider in CAS) 

Sims with no muscle definition will still have slightly more glow to the skin and more detailed pores/texture up close

No bump map on the male body’s nipples so they won't conflict with nipple placements on any skins (female body has them though)

Includes naughty bits

The effect looks stronger on darker skin, I'm not sure why

I think you’ll be able to appreciate the texture if you use a HQ mod and you take a lot of closeup photos of your sims like I do. I think it still looks normal enough for regular gameplay, although you’ll have to decide that for yourself after you try it out.  

Photos were taken with bright lights, the effect is subtler in normal lighting.

If you already use Buhudain’s You Are Real mods, you must remove them from your Mods folder first before installing mine. 

You can put these files in your Overrides or Packages folder. 

What’s in the zip: 

My edits of You Are Real for the male and female body (young adults to elders) 

My edits of You Are Real for the male and female face (young adults to elders)

If you only install the body files, your sim’s faces will not be affected. 

If you want to install the face files to look consistent with the bodies, you can choose between the version which has EA’s wrinkles on the adult face, or the version which does not have EA’s wrinkles on the adult face. Only install one, not both!

Download: simfileshare / mega

[hellomasee]

He looks so so god like let ME bite that lip for you sir

I AM OBSESSED WITH THE NEW PIC HE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD I CANT STOP STARING

[sanutopia]

imagine ateez as dads (f)

so i had this thought in my head of ateez with babies and i know they're young but i can't help but imagine them as dads I CANT

also i am trying to work on some requests i had sitting in my ask box while i'm on break for christmas so hopefully i'll post those soon !! :D

ateez x reader

seonghwa: 

refuses to let the baby sleep in the crib because “his chest is a better bed”

like seriously why did you buy a crib

sings the baby to sleep every night

obsessed with buying outfits for them and proceeding to take multiple pics in said outfit

runs the baby's head as it falls asleep and treats them like the most fragile thing in the world 🥺

hongjoong:

on his days off he would stay up late with the baby so u could rest because he's considerate that way <3

sometimes enjoys taking baby to studio and showing them tracks

"daddy made this song for you, sunshine, do you like it?" 🥺

his baby speaking voice would be the cutest ever and he'll say EVERYTHING in that voice

for some reason i feel like joong would be a baby hog like he wants to spend EVERY second he can with the baby because he doesn't wanna miss anything important 🥺

yunho:

ok hear me out if that child has yunho's eyes ur literally IN for it

he would let that child get away with anything 😭

i feel like yunho would need lots of reassurance because he wants to make sure he's doing everything right 🥺 he would always make sure everything is right for baby !!

his nicknames for the baby 🥺 his little sunshine, puppy, angel, i cant 🥺

baby can't cry around him because he'll cry too

yeosang:

i CANT dad yeosang sends me into orbit he would be SO !!!! EXCITED !!!

i can see yeosang getting one of those baby wraps so that he can ~multitask~ and still hold the baby

he would just sit by the crib and admire the baby as it falls asleep and he'd be so gentle not to wake them up 😔

would purposely take baby in public so people can comment on how cute they are 😌

would face around with the baby gently and sing to them so he could se them smile

san:

acts like he has everything under control when you leave him alone with the baby for the first time

does not have everything under control

tries his best <3 (he does actually do a good job he's just really hard on himself 😔)

would smile and coo to the baby and say "hey babe, the baby has my dimples!!"

the baby would have the same twinkle in their eyes as san does 🥺 literal stars for eyes

mingi:

never takes things to seriously (but in a good way) and just has fun with the baby

laughs with the baby and videos everything they do so he can watch videos of them while he's on work trips 🥺

if he is gone on tour or something you have daily facetimes with him so he can see you and the baby !!

has terrible attachment issues to the baby and cries every time he leaves you both because he is the purest angel ever

he would take so much pride in someone complimenting your parenting because he wants the baby to have the best life ever 🥺

wooyoung:

gets so excited over the littlest things he can't stop staring at the baby

"omg the baby just looked at me this is revolutionary i'm so proud of them"

would sit and watch mickey mouse clubhouse with the baby while u clean the house (even tho u asked him for help and he said "this episode is getting good hold on")

loves giving the baby baths and putting on their pjs he has got bedtime LOCKED DOWN

probably has matching pjs with the baby 🙄

jongho:

don't even get me started he would be the most doting dad in history i think

he is STRONG i think he would be in charge of building everything for the baby to make sure everything was perfect for their room

regardless of whether he was tired he would stay up and care for the baby so you could catch up on sleep

feels bad for being gone often while ur home with the baby but makes up for it by cooking, singing the baby to sleep, and cleaning up around the house when he can

would be so worried about the baby all the time like it's gonna break if u touch it and is so protective of u both

in conclusion ateez best dads

[cowboyshit]

@adampage tumblr did a dumbass thing and messed up the read-more to where I couldn’t put it under one so I had to delete your ask and I’m making a separate post for this disaster of a ramble hoooo boy i hope you’re ready for what you’ve unleashed

adampage  asked: ma’am I know you’re high off your rocker but if you have time would you please critique hangman’s playlist for me bc I want to know your thoughts 🥰 anyway yeehaw

OH MY GOD yes???? yes I fucking WILL?????? let’s just pump the breaks on what i was doing right the fuck now, get his playlist in front of me (even though ive been listening to it nonstop and have so many things to ALREADY SAY) and talk about this shit. im sorry if this isn’t coherent im pry just gonna ramble. (edit to add now that I’m done: ITS FREAKING 3252 WORDS LONG LMAO OH MY GOD)

first and foremost. I Love It. let’s just slap that down. get that out of the way. ITS SO GOOD. SO FUCKING GOOD. also this is going under a readmore cause YEAH. it’s THAT LONG.

let’s start first with mr. adam ‘i taught graphic design when i was 20 and learned adobe illustrator and photoshop to design my own tshirts when i was an indie wrestler’ page’s cover image. wait. no. back up - look at the profile image he chose for his profile. it’s not a selfie. it’s not a picture he snapped with his camera. it’s a screenshot of the “has been drinking” moment on aew dynamite. what a lovable FOOL. he really saved that and put that as his profile pic im skjdfkjfd okay now swing back to the anxious millenial design with the signed hangman adam page for the cover. he designed that. I swear he did. I swear he did that. I could be wrong but I just feel it in my bones. that was him. also, THAT should have been the vintage shirt. cowboy shit is cute but ANXIOUS MILLENNIAL COWBOY? I NEED THAT AS THE SHIRT!

okay now let’s get into the songs. wait. before i go through it I do want to say something about the playlist overall.

I can’t decide if this is because he shares so many similarities to the character hangman adam page, but so many of these songs apply to his character like, this fucking playlist plays like a hangman adam page THE CHARACTER playlist. like this is the playlist i’d find on 8tracks back when that was the “thing” in fandom where every song makes me go “OMG THAT IS THAT CHARACTER” like. I don’t know if he did that purposefully as an extension of the character? or if it just happens to line up because of how similar he is and his story is to his character but SOME of these songs wooooo boy they get deep dont they? when you compare them to the character?

okay. songs.

so I know some of these, especially the classics, summertime of course, but for the ones I didn’t know I love them so much. they have such a vibe that just fits him, and they’re all so good???

rather low by nick shoulders is one I didn’t know and I fucking LOVE it. and look. it goes from Long Time Gone by the Dixie Chicks. Long Time Gone about being away from the country life, from home and if my THEORY is right about this playlist hitting the character, hangman is struggling with being lost, without a family. it goes from that to rather low, which talks about not being welcome at home. like “I told you once I told you twice, I’m steeped in verse and cursed in vice” ajdskjds GOOD lyrics. beat slaps. song slaps. I love it.

okay so we go roll on mississippi which is soft compared to the two upbeat songs that just hit us before. calms you down after that high energy beat rather low had. lets you breathe. AND it’s got a sad, soft, longing pull to it, falling in with more of those “lost” from home themes. “You're the childhood dream that I grew up on. Roll on Mississippi, carry me home. Now I can see I've been away too long.” UGH! and also, it’s just a good fucking song.

then we go to a song i haven’t heard and love, going places by aubrie sellers. it’s a little bit funkier, but still soft. also groovy as FUCK. and it obv talks about GOING places. so maybe the first three songs were about the home he’s left behind, but now it’s about where he’s going. and man this song just SLAPS.

A CLASSIC is next, 1970 something illegal smile by john prine. it has that classic soft croon, such a good country sound and it’s a little bit playful. it makes you wanna smile and sway back and forth. it’s a good song. fun. but it’s almost a little bit. dark? “ Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone. No, I'm just tryin' to have me some fun. Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls, tryin' to get away from all the ears inside my walls. I dreamed the police heard everything I thought, what then?” it just makes me think of when his character “killed” joey ryan. I could be looking too far into it but, that’s what popped into my head.

OKAY NOW this next one. fuck yeah I DIG this song. I hadn’t heard this song and it quickly went into my liked songs. and if we’re following his character, the lyrics hit HARD. “ I've lost the will to try this worthless lullaby. Its melody won't fly me past oblivion. I bet it would be nice to find that paradise, a world of sparkling light beyond the setting sun. But I don't dream anymore” ugh !!!!!!! UGGGHH!! SO GOOD?? and even the slight upbeat to it. “would if I could but I don’t dream anymore” uuuuggghhh SO GOOD. love this song. one of my faves of the whole list for sure.

the next two back-to-back are CLASSICS and fit the hangman adam page character so damn perfect. i’ve even looked at lyrics from merle haggard’s i don’t want to sober up to night for adam in the past akjfdkjdsf it’s fucking perfect. and then followed by dwight yoakam’s honky tonk man?! amazing. we go from from fucking heart-wrenching lyrics if you think about them for him: “ I don't want to sober up tonight. I don't want to act like things are alright, and I don't want to change just to make you think I'm happy. That's my right, I don't want to sober up tonight. I want to keep my mind a little hazy. I don't care if all my friends think I'm crazy. The way I treat myself I might be a little crazy But that's alright, I don't want to sober up tonight. I'm here to drown another day of misery. I'm in here to spend one night without a mem'ry and the way I'm drinking now there won't be any memory. But it's alright, I don't want to sober up tonight” to HONKY TONK MAN. HONKY. TONK. MAN. “ Well I'm a honky tonk man and I can't seem to stop. I love to give the girls a whirl to the music of an old jukebox, but when my money's all gone, I'm on the telephone singing, hey hey mama can your daddy come home?” ajhsdjksdjkf like. look. partying hangman, drunk, swinging a girl around in the country bar???? cause he refused to sober up and just wanted to have fun? anyways regardless if there’s a connection or if im reaching, these are some good classics to pull out right here. honky tonk man will ALWAYS bring the party back up.

another song I didn’t know but now love? happy reunion by colter wall? this is a good freaking cowboy song??? and it’s a cute story???? about what a cowboy does during his day??? what the fuck? riding along the range with his dog, helping the cow, getting the calf back that’d gotten lost???? CUTE? anyways this is a vibin as HELL song and if it’d come out when I was still raising cows my ass woulda been blasting this shit as I drove to feed the herd for SURE. this song is a whole ass vibe and I’m digging it.

okay. walk through fire by yola? another i didn’t know (which - so far it seems all the songs that arent classics - spare dixie chicks - are from 2019) and I am obsessed with???? it’s so good? and fuck just such a good love song??? “Standing on the side of the river. Staring across the great divide. I'd give all my gold and silver just to get to the other side. Your love is like a rescue vessel, carries me through the night through these flames of destruction. I know you're gonna make it right. I know, I know you're gonna save my life.“ LIKE? HENLO????????? FUCK!!!! THATS SO GOOD. that whole song I could post all the lyrics tbh. and the way she CROONS it ugh. yeah. I love that song.

FUCKIN YES. DOLLY FUCKIN PARTON. youre not gonna make a country playlist and not include a dolly parton song boy i KNOW IT. and the song choice??? hm? remind you of a CERTAIN COWBOYS STRUGGLE WITH NOT HAVING A HOME???? “What difference does it make which way I go, got an empty feelin' down inside. Still I need to stay alive and who can tell what waits beyond this road. I'm a drifter” ajdfshjsd god I love dolly. and of COURSE he does too. i’m so pleased by this choice I can’t stop smiling. ugh. love this. love dolly.

sandpaper oneside, rubber other by the bobby tenderloin universe what do you know? another 2019 song I didn’t know and yet absolutely LOVE. I also am loving how he does a mix of classics with newer (but still almost classic-country sounding, maybe like. classic meets modern) country music in this playlist. AND WHAT A SONG. it’s so good? and again, just makes me think of the character. “there are two minds inside me. that’s one life too many. but i keep moving slow on both sides, strong as I can be.” tell me that doesnt make you think of hangman adam page. and it has such a... sad vibe. “i cant believe the things i am. as much a lion as a lamb” !!!!!!!!!!! ugh such a GOOD LINE. THAT SLAPS. LOVE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh this song. especially the back vocals of the woman that comes in later on? it’s like. ethereal. beautiful. fucking beautiful and almost haunting. paired with the sad lyrics? UGH. gorgeous.

long white line by sturgill simpson i do know and LOVE and it’s got a fun, uplifting cowboy beat following the more slow, sad croon of the last song. it’s SO COUNTRY. the way it’s sung? SO COUNTRY. and also ajdfskjsd adam. “I woke up my baby was gone without her I don't need no home” and “Gonna' push this rig 'til I push that girl out of my mind. If somebody wants to know what's become of this so and so tell em' I'm somewhere looking for the end of that long white line” kjdjkfdkjf this is just such a country song, and it fits SO well, especially after that previous pick.

now we go from two new songs to another classic. another (i think) 1970s country hit. lonesome, on’ry and mean is SUCH a classic country song. it has that good old sound, and the story it tells too. and just, I can’t stop thinking about hangman just “ Been driving these highways, been doing things my way. It's been making me lonesome on'ry and mean.” ajdskjflkf it’s fair to say that character IS lonesome, on’ry and mean right now. anyways, fun country song regardless and I DIG the addition.

okay back to a newer song and holy shit. this is my personal favorite of the new songs he introduced me to. this song I LOVE this song. fuuun FUN beat, makes me want to fucking GROOVE. I love love love this, and I love the way the singer sings? it just makes me wanna UGH. just wanna sway to it. the whine in the croon I just love. and the BEAT. the beat is so fucking good. and the lyrics? “I'm that wholesome Midwestern boy that you want to bring home to your mama. Even though I bring you joy, baby I'm not the toy you wanna play with at night. Too many things I've seen. Too many people and places I've been. I'm thinking about doing those things I shouldn't be doing. Something I've never done before. I want something to fuck me up. Need somebody to fuck me up. Everyone feels like it. Fuck me up, fuck me up, fuck me up” ajdsjkds I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH “Well I might go and get drunk and stoned 'cause it's better than being only crazy. If I ever come back, wherever I end up at is where I was supposed to be.” it’s so perfect for his character it drives me crazy. this is a song I’d listen to and first, groove to, and then be like THIS SONG IS HANGMAN. love this song. absolutely a favorite.

the next song though. the next song. fucking hangman adam page and his love of biscuits. southern biscuits by seasick steve oh. my. god. this BOY. THIS COUNTRY BOY. THIS BISCUIT LOVIN COUNTRY BOY. this is such a damn good addition. not only is it so fucking country, almost. spoken/sung? the soft hum with the fucking banjo??? and of COURSE of course he knows and loves this song I can’t with him. and it hits you with the: “ Southern biscuits, nothin' better in the world 'less they're made for you, by your southern girl.” and I go UWU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

two new songs so guess what? classic time. BALANCE. HE’S KEEPING BALANCE. I swear he’s done this purposefully and I could be crazy I could be giving him more credit than is due but I swear he’s picked the arrangement of songs too. because this is too coincidental. so, we’ve got our classic livin on the run by david allan coe. what a DARK song to go with. about a man who murders a woman and lives on the run (again, can’t help but think of the joey ryan murder thing, but hey. that’s just me grasping for straws) regardless if it ties or not, it’s a good classic and it’s fun to croon to even if its uh. dark but sung like. upbeat? almost???

okay, another classic and, to me, one of the sexiest songs on this playlist. I fucking love this song. it’s sexy with an underlying of dark. she literally seduces and knocks the guy out and robs him blind and he’s STILL craving her summer wine like. this song is SO GOOD. so fucking good. the way the music swells with the storytelling is beautiful. “Strawberries cherries and an angel's kiss in spring, my summer wine is really made from all these things. Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time, and I will give to you summer wine” is just so ajkdfskjdfs ugh i love this song

and guess what? two classics so we’re swinging to a newer song. left turn on a red light by blackfoot. oof. I didn’t know this song and it hit me, it’s so good and I know im saying that about all of them but Honestly. “ Sun shines down on the desert, and it seems to make my life a haze, and I dream of my childhood sweetheart,and the freedom that I had in those days.” UGH. “ Will I always be a rambler? Will the ones I love always keep tellin' me, "You stare too long in the mirror, son, someday you'll be too blind to see.” HELLO???? those lyrics? SO GOOD. and again applying them to hangman just makes me FERAL SCREAM.

cowboys and hippies by cody jinks is such a hangman song it’s almost unreal. if I was going to REALLY reach I’d say it almost reminds me of the way the crowd pulls him back. “At some old honkytonk bar that I know by the smell, some old drunk on a barstool on a Merle Haggard tune. That's my kind of room. Raising hell with the hippies and the cowboys. They don't care about no trends, they don't care about songs that sell. Yeah, tomorrow I'll be gone, so tonight everybody just sing along, raising hell with the hippies and the cowboys” GOOD LYRICS. this has the same sad undertones too as a lot of these songs have too.

ugh. I love him sincerely for this next one. blue skies is one of my favorite songs, but blue skies by willie nelson? YES. my grandpa used to play willie nelson ALL THE TIME and I love this version. an uplifting song to follow the heavier songs. I’d like to think of a hangman who has the blue skies from now on. all of his blue days gone. this song is such a classic (cover) that just. good pick. I love this.

alright, so we’ve got a classic but he’s chosen the version from bojack horseman which makes me think that might’ve been the first time he heard it, but that’s neither here nor there. stars is a BEAUTIFUL song. and boy am I happy we had blue skies before this cause fuck. how sad? how emotional?????? “People lust for fame like athletes in a game, we break our collarbones and come up swinging, some of us are downed some of us are crowned, and some are lost and never found” fuck. fuck fuck fuck. and the last two lines, thinking about hangman? “So if you don't lose patience with my fumbling around, I'll come up singing for you, even when I'm down.” FUCK. my HEART. good pick but OUCH. good but ow.

summertime by orville peck is next BLESS finally an orville song I was gonna lose it on him if he put a playlist and DIDN’T include an orville song. interesting though he went with summertime, the newest, and not any of the ones off pony. but! it follows stars well. its soft, lull, and the lyrics are so hangman now that I put it in this context. “Catch 'em by surprise and chasin' the horizon, nothing holds me down. Askin', "Where the time's gone?" Dreamin' with the lights on, tryna keep your eyes on something along the rise" anyways I know YOU know this song well it’s so fucking good. has that same soft pull a lot of these songs have. the way that chorus swells though? the secondary vocals??? ugh. yeah this was a great choice, I’m glad he went with summertime. it fits the vibe of this playlist so well.

we’re ending on a song with such a country sound to it (i mean all of these do), a bit more upbeat, a bit more funky. “Some say I'm a wild man, drink too much nectar from the corn” and also “Oh the school, it wasn't for me. I earned my stripes a different way I learned to sing harmony and go play out on the stage” definitely makes me think of hangman for SURE. it’s a funky song to end on, and if you keep listening to the playlist on repeat like I do, it even falls into long time gone really well.

and of course this is assuming you’re meant to listen to them one after the other and not on shuffle. I’m sure it still works on shuffle but I LOVE the flow of this playlist listening to it one after the other.

love this whole playlist. and my identifying it with the character could TOTALLY be reaching, but of course I’m going to think of him and analyze his selection of *these* songs specifically to put out to all of us. out of EVERY song he likes. he didn’t include... hmm cowboy take me away, for example? shoulda been a cowboy??? the vibe of the overall playlist FITS “anxious millenial cowboy” it has an underbelly of sadness to it. and I dig the fuck out of that.

overall 10/10 I love this fucking playlist thank you goodnight

[kpopfanfictrash]

Drawing Darcy

Rating: PG (part of the scenario ask game)

Word Count: 3,071

Summary:  Tae loves taking random photos of you secretly, and one day when you're looking through his phone you find out

Taehyung’s hair is slightly fuzzy on the back of his neck. 

The cut is messy, blending into the peach of his skin but you cannot tell him this, because then he would know you were staring. Right now, you are supposed to be looking at the professor’s slide deck, not at Taehyung but, sneaking another glance, you confirm this fact to yourself. Yes, definitely fuzzy.

Slouching lower, you drum your pen against the paper and pretend to be paying attention to the board when really, all you cant think about is him.

Him, meaning Taehyung. Your best friend, Taehyung, with the too-long fringe in the back. Taehyung, who is squinting up at the slides because he forgot his glasses in the dorm and cannot be bothered to grab them. Your best friend, Taehyung, who has no idea you are looking at him because your best friend, Taehyung, has no idea you like him.

It started out innocently enough, as most things do. He was the friend of a friend, the boy who roomed with the boy you crushed on freshman year. Each time you went over he would be present, hanging off the edge of his bunk bed and throwing out suggestive comments with the arrogance of someone who knows they will get away with it. When you and Taehyung’s roommate began to date, you wound up spending more time with Taehyung than anyone else. His roommate worked out a lot, was captain of the crew team and spent most of his free time in various states of gym clothes.

While you waited for your boyfriend to come home from practice (or ‘bulking up,’ as he called it), you would be in his room, sprawled out on their futon, eating their chips and inevitably watching Taehyung play video games out of boredom. He was fun to be around because you could pretty much tell him anything and he would just grunt and agree. You ended up telling him more than you meant to – and one day, you realized he was listening.

“It’s just...” Sighing, you dug around in the bag for that perfect crinkle-cut. “I feel like I have to filter everything I say around him. Anytime I give my actual opinion, he looks at me like I’m crazy – which drives me crazy. I have opinions!” you declared, waving the chip. “I have a lot of them and true, not all of them are winners, but I wish he didn’t make me feel so –”

“Y/N,” Taehyung interrupted, tossing his controller aside.

You blinked. You had never seen Taehyung stop playing like that. The game was still happening, his character getting pulverized onscreen but he turned roughly to face you. 

“Taehyung, what are you doing?”

“Break up with him,” he demanded, completely serious.

“I – what?” you gaped. Taehyung was your boyfriend’s roommate, his friend – the turn of events was startling, to say the least.

Taehyung flicked the hair from his eyes. “I’ve been sitting here for months, listening to everything wrong about your relationship and while, yeah, everyone bitches about their significant other – not this much,” he informed, slightly red in the face. “It sounds like he’s a real dick, most of the time. Even if he’s my friend, that doesn’t give him a free pass and you deserve better.”

That was it. 

Taehyung picked up the remote, sunk back into his game and you sat there, staring at him on the couch. Even after you and his roommate did break up (Taehyung was right, he was a prick), the two of you remained friends. 

Which brings you full-circle to today’s state of affairs. You are completely, totally in love with your best friend and he has no idea.

It is not your fault, honestly. It is Taehyung’s fault, with his stupid, square smile and that stupid, high brow and his stupid, smooth skin. He has this way of making you feel at ease with just a look or a word, or a weird quirk of his eyebrows. It is his fault you like him, because Taehyung is perfect. Okay, maybe not perfect. Perfect is a dangerous word, as Taehyung likes to say. He laughs at your books and TV shows, since you tend you slot yourself with the hopeless romantics of the world – the ones who sit waiting for their perfect white knight, an ideal which Taehyung continuously scoffs at.

“None of those guys are real,” he chided you once, poking your sketchbook with his big toe. “You’re so obsessed with drawing that one guy – what’s his name, again?”

“Mr. Darcy,” you responded, automatic. “The Colin Firth version, not the reboot.”

“Right.” Taehyung arched a brow. “He’s not real, Y/N.”

“Oh?” Ignoring this, you continued to sketch – that was your major, after all. A graphic designer, always half-in and out of reality. “No shit, he’s a fictional character. He’s one I happen to like, though.”

“A romantic, idealistic character who urges the female population to buy into this notion that hey! That guy’s an ass but maybe he’s just misunderstood and maybe he likes me and how romantic,” Taehyung batted his eyelashes in your direction, “that all is!”

“Shut up,” you grunted, continuing to sketch. “Until I can find a normal guy who makes my heart flutter like he does, I’m going to continue to draw Darcy.”

Glancing down at your notebook, you quickly shut it, since it is all filled with Taehyung.

Taehyung stands from his seat, stretching both arms overhead and it seems almost on purpose – the bottom of his shirt rides up to reveal a tan, flat strip of stomach. You look quickly away. Taehyung is not perfect. He is better. He is real and solid and entirely human. He is different from you, always keeping you on your toes and making you discover things about yourself you did not think possible. 

Taehyung is a business major of some sort, with a minor in Photography and while you always carry a sketchbook and pencils, he is continually lugging around a giant camera for ‘spontaneous brilliance.’

Like now. Taehyung finishes stretching, lowering his camera over the panes of his chest. He looks at you, quirking a brow. “That was boring,” Taehyung complains, watching students stream by. “Probably the worst lecture of the past three months, what do you think?”

Trying not to smile, you follow him up the steps of the lecture hall. “Oh, I don’t know. The one on endocrinology was stranger.”

“Really?” Taehyung pushes open the door. “I thought that one was interesting.”

“Well, sure.” You nod, tucking your sketchbook away. “What was weird is that it took place in Theology 101.”

“Ah, true.” Taehyung grins, spinning when you exit the quad. “Smile,” he instructs, snapping a pic. “Fuck, blurry.”

“Taehyung,” you groan, shoving both hands in between you. “Stop! I barely put on make-up this morning.”

“And still.” Taehyung snaps another pic. “You look ravishing. Oh – damn. Blurry again.”

“Lord,” you laugh, pushing past him. “I have to get to Anthro – see you later! We’re still on for dinner, right?” you ask, turning around as you walk.

“Yeah,” Taehyung nods, still observing his camera. “Meet at my dorm room, okay?”

“See you then!”

Walking away from him, you clutch your drawings tighter. You are not sure when the drawings began turning to Taehyung. There was a night last year, when you woke around 3:00 AM but, instead of doodling Darcy as usual, found the head shape you drew to be oddly familiar. Still half asleep, you squinted at the lines flowing forth until the portrait was complete and you sat frozen in shock.

It was Taehyung. Your favorite Taehyung, with his hair messy and shirt misbuttoned – which brought on another wave of shock, realizing you had a favorite Taehyung to draw. Fingers trembling, you set down your pencils and burrowed deep in your pillows. Sleep did not come easily that night, since although the sketch came out in perfect clarity, your thoughts certainly were not. You liked Kim Taehyung, but he was your best friend.

That was the first sketch you made of him, but it was not the last.

Taehyung’s dorm room is on the fourth floor of Sorin dorm, all the way at the end after three flights of stairs. He chose this room on purpose, since it is a turret and despite Taehyung’s hatred of romantic heroes, he certainly likes to act like one. The first time you visited, he sat hunched in his chair, all the blinds drawn while he stared at his table.

“Y/N,” he declared as you entered. A thin smile stretched his lips, nodding to himself. “Excellent, excellent. I knew it was you.”

“No shit, Taehyung.” Rolling your eyes, you closed his door. “Who else visits you?”

“Ladies,” he drawled, swirling a photo in the chemicals before him. Taehyung did not do that often, but occasionally he went for the darkroom effect. It explained all the blinds at least, which was a small relief. “I’m incredibly popular with the ladies.”

Thinking about this now, you push open the door to his room. It is empty, but you know on Wednesdays and Fridays Taehyung has a class which sometimes runs late. It is not concerning for you to be alone in his room; the two of you are close enough by now, that this hardly matters. Lowering your bag to his floor, you plop down on his bed and place your sketchbook before you.  

Starting to shade in his jaw, you lose track in your work. It might be risky, working on a drawing of your best friend when he could walk in any moment – but Taehyung is smart enough not to look at your sketchbook. He learned this lesson firsthand when he tried to steal your notebook freshman year and you jabbed a pencil into his side. 

Eraser first, yeah, but he got the point (ha).

There are just a few features left you find hard to draw – his eyes, for one. Taehyung’s eyes are crescent-like when he smiles, scrunched in when he laughs but always alive, always expressive. It can be hard to capture on the page and – oh, shit. A muffled thud hits the floor, caused by your foot lashing out. Leaning over the comforter, you see Taehyung’s phone on the ground.

Frick. Sitting up and forgetting your work, you glance at his door, which is closed. Taehyung must have forgotten his phone before class – lord knows he would forget his head if it was not screwed on straight. Bending to grab the device, you flip it over in your palm – only to freeze, seeing the wallpaper before you. 

Curious, you swipe right on his phone. Taehyung really needs to update his passwords, you think, keying in the birthday of his mom. The intrusion is worth it though, when his phone is open and you can see clearly the face of his background.

It is you. Or – it is you, but not a photo you remember him taking. It is none of the ones from the quad, nor of the cheesy shots he forces you to take in the classrooms. You sit in your room, it seems – yes, that is the corner of your dresser, there – and are immersed in your drawing, lower lip held between teeth. Your expression seems softer, as it is one you have never seen on yourself. Then again, you have never seen yourself drawing before.

Without understanding why, your thumb hovers over the album icon on his phone. This is wrong, it is a complete invasion of privacy but for some reason, you click anyways. Unsure what you are looking for, you flick through his photos – until you find an album that stops you, staring down at the title.

Y/N, Candid.

Slowly, you press on the square and photos fill the screen, leaving you speechless. You dazedly swipe right, one after the other. There is one of you sitting, brow furrowed while attempting to play Taehyung’s video games. There is one of you in a park, bent over with laughter while Taehyung makes fun of your stride. So many photos, each one unique, each one different and none of them – none of them you can remember him taking.

“Oh, fuck.”

Head jerking up, his phone slips through your grasp. It clatters aimlessly against the floor while Taehyung stands framed in the doorway. 

“Uh. Hey, Taehyung!”

He does not move, gaze traveling from your hand to his phone. “Is that…” He halts, shaking his head. “Is that my phone?”

“What, this?” you blurt, bending to scoop it up from the ground. “No – this is just a square, silvery mobile device. That… you use as a phone.”

Taehyung blinks. He adjusts the strap of his camera. “Were you… were you looking through my phone, Y/N?”

You hesitate because on the one hand, Taehyung saw you. On the other hand, blind denial is always good. “No.”

Slowly removing his camera, Taehyung places this down on his desk. He stares for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh,” he exhales, glancing at you. “I don’t know how to put this. I have a lot of photos on my phone, a lot of ongoing projects and well, some of them are… personal.”

Managing a nod, you push to your feet. “Right.” Swallowing hard, you shove your sketchpad into your bag. “Don’t worry, I didn’t see anything. I – uh, Taehyung I want to stay for dinner, but I actually just stopped by to say –”

When you attempt to leave, his hand closes over your upper arm. “Hey,” Taehyung breathes, effectively stopping you.

Freezing, you stare at the wood wall of his dorm. “What,” you mutter, still trying to make sense of it all. Taehyung has photos of you on his phone. An entire album of photos, ones taken when you were not looking and you do not understand why he would do that.

Slowly – gently – Taehyung turns you to face him. “I know you saw the album.”

Looking up, you cannot respond because yes, you saw but you still do not understand. “I saw,” you admit, meeting his gaze.

Taehyung’s eyes widen. Quickly, he lets go of your arm and steps backwards. “You saw?” 

“You – what?” you respond, suddenly confused. “You said that you knew!”

“Well, yeah, I said that, but...” Taehyung trails off, stunned. “I wasn’t sure. I was trying to find out!”

“Well,” you sputter, crossing your arms over your chest. “You should have just asked!”

“I did! You lied!”

“Oh, right!” you yell back, the room falling silent between you.

Taehyung stares, slightly wild-eyed. “I,” he hesitates. “I can explain.”

The image of you sleeping sprawled on his couch comes to mind and you blush, remembering the drool hanging from the corner of your mouth. “Those moments were private,” you complain. “Taehyung, there are photos of me sleeping! There are photos of me at the gym, doing drunk karaoke, stuffing my face with burgers! Private moments,” you hiss, “between you and me! Those weren’t meant for your photography class, or whatever.”

“I know,” Taehyung nods, expression wretched. “Those pictures weren’t for my class, I swear it! No one has ever seen them but me.”

“No one has ever seen them but you,” you repeat, shaking your head. “What are you talking about? If no one has ever seen them, what were they for?”

“Me!” Taehyung yells – wincing, he lowers his voice. “They were for me,” he repeats, softer.

Staring back at him, it feels as though all the wind has been punched from your chest. “I – what?”

“They were for me,” he admits, flushing. “God.” Taehyung groans, burying his face in his hands. “This is so embarrassing. I like you, okay? I like you, Y/N,” he mumbles in-between fingertips. “I took all those photos because I like you, Y/N and you inspire me, and I just like all the ways that you look.”

“You…” This does not make any sense. It is ridiculous because Taehyung, your best friend, does not think of you like that. You would have known, somehow. You would have seen. “You... like me.”

“Yes.” Taehyung groans, face still covered by his hands. “I liked you from the minute I saw you but you were dating my roommate, and then we were just friends and now we’re still just friends – which is okay! It’s cool, it’s just... I also want to hold your hand and shit. I don’t know,” he exhales, dropping his hands to look at you. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Y/N. You shouldn’t have found out like that.”

“No,” you repeat, stunned. You want to move closer, but seem to be rooted to the carpet. “I shouldn’t have found out like that... I should have told you I liked you a long time ago.”

Now it is Taehyung’s turn to be confused. “You… what?”

“I like you,” you breathe, dropping your bag to the ground. Yanking free your notebook, you thrust this into his arms. “Look,” you nod, bracing yourself for the motion. “Look at my drawings, all of them. I won’t stop you.”

Taehyung frowns, not understanding until he flips open your notebook. Then he pauses, eyes wide as he stares down at his face – and flipping the page, he sees the panes of his back. The curves of his shoulders, the white fabric of his shirt. Taehyung quickly inhales in amazement.

“You,” he blinks, hand splayed on the page. “You draw… me?”

“Yes.”

Taehyung looks up in shock. “These are beautiful.”

“Well,” you stutter, glancing away. “That’s debatable. I do think you’re beautiful though, so... there’s that.”

“You... do?”

When you look up, Taehyung has set your sketchbook aside. Gently – lovingly, because he knows how much it means to you – but right now you do not care, because the way he looks at you means more.

“Well, yeah,” you stumble. “I think everything you do is amazing, and –”

Taehyung steps forward and kisses you. His lips are soft, open and you feel yourself melting. You feel yourself falling, even though you have already fallen. Hands rising to wrap around his neck, you pull him close and Taehyung lets out a groan. He walks you back towards the wall, body curving over yours, mouth opening while his tongue flicks to find yours.

There is always that kiss in your life. That one which defines all others, makes you realize you have never been truly kissed and for you, this is that kiss. Just the way Taehyung breathes, a sound hiccuped between movement, or the way he touches you, as though afraid you might fall through his grasp. It makes you want more, makes you want him and by the time he pulls back, you feel drunk on his lips.

“Taehyung,” you exhale, forehead bent to his own.

Taehyung’s lips brush your brow, then your nose. “Y/N,” he whispers. “You have no fucking idea, how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Oh?” you return, tightening your hands on his neck. “About as long as I have, I’d imagine.”

“Longer.”

“You wish.”

“Longer.”

He kisses you again.

[marlonrae]

&. SASHA VISITS MONA!

who: @fckmonax​ and sasha; preston’s friend. & marlon. where: mona’s place warning: highkey! problematic! - nsfw ig.

SASHA

knocks on the door a few times and waits, scrolling through her phone

MONA

jumps at the sound of a knock on the door, carries ven with her to go open the door “Hopefully you’re not a murderer!” opens the door, grins at sasha, pulls her in for a hug “Wow, I totally forgot I invited you over.”

SASHA

laughs and shakes head, rolling her eyes at mona's comment ''Am I that irrelevant? I don't think so.'' chuckles and gasps when she looks at ven ''YOU'RE SO MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I THOUGHT YOU WERE, WOW.'' grins widely and strokes Ven's cheek. ''Oh my god, pictures don't do her justice, look at her.'' pouts

MONA

laughs, shrugs “What can I say? My brain has been very occupied with all things Venecia all morning.” steps aside to let her in, grins at the compliments, knows they’re all true “Wanna hold her?”

SASHA

grins, looking like she won the lottery. ''Yes, of course, yeah.''

MONA

chuckles, pushes the door closed “She’s like the easiest baby ever, I promise.” kisses ven’s forehead, carefully maneuvers to hand her off, switches to baby voice “Hey Venny. This is mommy’s friend. She’s gonna hold you for a bit, okay?” doesn’t let got until sasha has her securely

SASHA

grins at both ven and mona and holds her like a pro, placing a hand in the back of V's head. ''Ugh, I already love her so much.'' looks down at Ven and kisses her cheek gently. ''The most beautiful baby ever, I SWEAR.''

MONA

smiles proudly at the two of them getting along so well “Isn’t she just the best? I am totally obsessed with her and I’m glad you can see why.” pulls out her own phone, snaps a pic of them “Seriously, though. I’m not sure what I did to be blessed with a baby girl so perfect. I can’t wait for her to be just like me!”

SASHA

''She really is the best.'' cant stop looking at Ven and giggles when mona snaps a picture of them. ''You need send me that asap.'' nods ''For sure, she's gonna be just as beautiful as you are when she's older, you'll see.''

MONA

nods, immediately sends the photo over ”Oh, please. She’s gonna be prettier than me. We don’t even look like mother and daughter.” pouts

SASHA

furrows brows and looks at Ven and then at Mona. Hums. ''How does her dad's side of the family look like?''

MONA

“Dark hair, dark eyes, tan skin. They’re Puerto Rican.” navigates through phone, pulls up a pic and hands it over “This is her Aunt Mariana. She literally looks more like her than like me.” pouts

SASHA

looks at the pic and frowns, def seeing the resemblance. ''I mean, yeah, she's pretty and all but I'm sure Ven will grow out of it and look more like you as she grows older.''

MONA

“I wouldn’t mind if she continued to look like Mariana though. Mariana’s gorgeous.” shrugs, sighs “Do you want anything to eat or drink?” leads the way towards the kitchen “Preston’s weird about his stuff, so maybe don’t touch anything?”

SASHA

shrugs, not at all impressed by mariana's looks. ''Yeah, I guess she's alright.'' looks down at ven and smiles, blown away by how adorable she is. ''Hm, do you have snacks?'' giggles

MONA

looks at them adoringly, checks through the cabinet for snacks “Looks like we have potato chips... barbecue ones, oreos, an assortment of fruits. Sorry that the selection is kinda lame.” shrugs “We can also go out if you’d like.”

SASHA

hums ''Do you have ketchup?''

MONA

quirks brow “Yes...”

SASHA

“Potato chips with ketchup are a blessing.” grins excitedly

MONA

makes a disgusted face “Would’ve never guessed that you’d be the type for that combo, but who am I to judge?” grabs both the chips and ketchup for her “Want me to grab her?” gestures at a now asleep ven

SASHA

''I can't believe she fell asleep on me.'' smiles and pouts at the baby. ''I love that she's comfortable, ugh but yeah, I'll take her again in a bit.'' very carefully hands ven over

MONA

“She’s probably exhausted from the sleep she didn’t get last night.” takes ven, rocks her to keep her asleep “That and she’s totally comfortable with you.” puts ven in her crib, walks back out with the baby monitor “But I didn’t ask. How are you? How is life?”

SASHA

frowns ''Why? What happened?'' totally walks into the kitchen as if she owns the place and grabs a bowl for the chips and pours ketchup all over them. ''Life is good, a little uneventful at the moment, but good. Michael's been working a lot lately and that's super boring.'' sighs, eating her chips. 'Want some?'' offers the bowl ''What about you? Your life seems to be much more eventful than mine.''

MONA

“No clue. She just had energy all day and night for some reason.” sighs, shakes head “Literally P and I got no alone time.. if you know what I mean.” watches her, genuinely confused by the chip situation, shakes head “Your whole life doesn’t revolve around Michael though, right? - Unfortunately, my whole life does revolve around Venecia.”

SASHA

frowns ''If you ever need alone time, I could help babysit. Just give me a call.'' smiles and shakes head ''No, it revolves around my phone, mostly.'' laughs ''I truly don't have a life but I don't really care, it's fine. I'd love to have more action or drama but I guess I'm lucky I don't.'' shrugs, eats more chips

MONA

“That would be amazing, but that’s what my sisters are for. I would never pass on an irritable Ven to you.” chuckles “I’ll get them to babysit some time while we hang.” shakes head “Believe me you do not want drama. What’s so entertaining on your phone though?”

SASHA

''I doubt she ever gets irritable.'' chuckles, is literally loving her chips. ''But I do, nothing exciting ever happens for me. I wanna be involved in something entertaining. Do you get drama often?'' chuckles ''Honestly, social media, online books and youtube.''

MONA

scoffs “Play one round of peek a boo with her and you’ll see how irritable she can get.” sighs “Honestly.. So much. Like a sex tape of me and my sister’s husband literally leaked a few months back. Drama follows me everywhere, so if I could have it not, that’d be ideal.”

SASHA

gasps, puts the bowl down ''A sex tape with your sister's husband?'' jaw drops ''Please, elaborate.''

MONA

sighs “Well it was old first off, and he wasn’t her husband at the time of filming.. was her boyfriend, though.” shakes head “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this. It’s way too soon for you to know this about me.” chuckles “But we were both just kind of going through weird stages in our relationships and we did something stupid.. multiple times. And I guess at some point in our drugged out, sexed up state, we thought making a video was a good idea.” sighs “I didn’t even remember any of this, but kind of just had to put the pieces together when suddenly there was evidence of it floating around.”

SASHA

is shocked and wide-eyed but lowkey loves everything about the story even though she probably shouldn't. chuckles. ''That's... terrible but amazing.'' chuckles again, shaking her head ''Is he cute?''

MONA

laughs, shakes head "I'm definitely going to hell for it, but you're totally gonna lose some points for that reaction." chuckles "You will not find him attractive. He kind of gives off Jafar from Aladdin vibes." pulls up a pic of marlon on her phone "This is Marlon. He's my best friend."

SASHA

jaw drops again, takes the phone and stares at it for a good 30 seconds before looking back at mona ''Oh... my god!''

MONA

takes her phone back, rolls eyes

SASHA

shakes head, shocked ''Mona, I know him.''

MONA

jaw drops "What?"

SASHA

nods, wide-eyed. ''It's kind of a long story but basically he was my brother's drug dealer for like the longest time and they would hang together and I always thought he was so hot and I was younger than him but I...'' chuckles, shaking her head ''... finessed him and I sneaked him in one night and yeah.'' shrugs and giggles. ''I had like the biggest crush but then he kind of like grew tired of me..'' pouts slightly ''... eventually I got over it, though.'' shrugs dismissively ''But woah, this is so bizzare.''

MONA

stares wide-eyed, listens, shook "Holy shit... He wasn't like, your first or anything, right?" pulls out her phone "I'm texting him right now. Can I invite him over?" laughs, shakes head "This is insane." laughs some more "And you genuinely liked him? Wild." laughs

SASHA

laughs. ''I mean, there was a guy before him but I was really young and  he was basically the first guy I ever had like real sex with but no, he didn't actually took my virginity, my neighbor Jason did when I was even younger.'' laughs and covers her mouth, shaking her hand. ''OH MY GOD! I haven't seen him in forever, that's so embarrassing.'' laughs and nods, figuring that this was truly the most problematic thing happening in her life in the past year or so. ''I liked him so much.'' shakes head, still laughing. ''I thought he was the hottest dude around. - I mean, he is kinda hot but please don't tell Mike I said that.'' chuckles

MONA

finishes writing out her text to marlon, focuses on sasha again "This is truly the strangest coincidence. I'm glad he didn't take your virginity though. That'd make him coming over here a little more awkward than this is already gonna be. " literally just laughs some more, trying to stop, failing "Dude, he's so hot. In a hot chicken kinda way, but hot. Obviously, I think so. I like... risked it all for him. We stayed friends though. Which is truly amazing."

SASHA

nods in agreement ''I only said kinda because I thought you would judge me but yes, he is 100% hot.'' laughs ''He just looks so different from everyone around and his face is so, so nice and okay I shouldn't be saying this but he was like actually good in bed in a lazy, high, kind of way. - I think that made him even hotter.''

MONA

"Why would I judge you? After that story I just told with him as the other person in the scenario? This is a judgment free zone." replies to marlon, continues talking "Oh god, we really shouldn't be discussing this.. but yeah. Those days where it just Marlon and I and a bunch of coke and molly? Some of my best days." groans, shakes head "Don't ever repeat this, obvi."

SASHA

''Of course I won't.'' laughs ''He 100% used me back then, we had sex like four times and he would never even call me or anything.'' shakes head and laughs ''I mean, it was enough for me because it meant he gave me a tiny bit of his attention and–''  M(arlon): literally walks in as if he's walking into his own apartment. ''Ramona, this better be good or else I swear I will shove my fist up yo–'' stops when he notices she has company. furrows brows  S(asha): looks kind of terrified but laughs ''Hi.''  M: raises eyebrows ''What are you doing here?'' looks at Mona ''What's going on?''

MONA

is kind of saddened by her story, doesn't have time to respond "Hey!" looks in between the two of them, a cruel smirk on her face "Marlon, this is my new friend Sasha."

SASHA

S: smiles mischievously and nods ''I'm sure you don't remember me.'' M: raises an eyebrow and shakes head, pretending to be oblivious even though he remembers every single lil detail about sasha ''I don't.'' shrugs, looking back at Mona ''Did you just bring me here to introduce me to a friend?''

MONA

scoffs, offended for her new friend sasha "Marlon, cut the shit. I can see it in your eyes, I know you know who she is, so how about not making her feel even worse than you did when you fucked her and ditched her all those years ago." rolls eyes, looks to sasha "Clearly, you missed out on nothing by him ghosting you."

SASHA

S: smirks, loving mona's attitude ''Yeah, trash.''    M: exhales deeply ''Did you expect me to propose?'' asks sasha, raising an eyebrow ''What are you two even doing together?''    S: ''Not really, a call would've been nice.'' shrugs M: ''It was ten years ago, Sasha. Move on, maybe?'' gives her a look ''Forreal, what's up?''

MONA

"Ah, so you do remember." shakes head "I gotta say, my sister really hit the jackpot with this one." is entertained by the whole situation "Nothing's up. We're friends now. Preston is buddies with her boyfriend, we met through them and realized that we kinda have a lot of common... Clearly more in common than we originally thought since we've now learned that we've both seen a scrawny chicken boy naked."

SASHA

S: laughs, shaking her head. ''I mean, I don't blame him. I've been told I tend to leave an impact on people.'' smirks, grabs her bowl of chips again.

M:  shakes head, staring at sasha and shaking his head when he sees the chips ''See, that's exactly why we never worked out. Why would I ever trust a stan of chips covered in ketchup?'' makes a face ''Disgusting.'' 

S: ''Hey!, don't be a hater.'' rolls eyes at him, hugging the bowl 

M: chuckles ''I guess rich, spoiled brats have a thing for scrawny chicken boys like me.'' smirks ''I can't blame y'all. I would too if I was dating the men you all seem to date.''

MONA

claps hands together, grins "This is amazing." turns to marlon "I was giving her a crash course, like on who I am as a person and why all the drama in my life isn't fun, so I mentioned that leak that happened a couple months back. And she was like no way, details please. And I showed her your pic and she was shook to learn that it was you. I am shook to learn that you two banged... Literally when she was so young, but we'll save that conversation." drapes an arm over marlon's shoulder " But yeah, I was telling her about we're bestest friends and you looove me." pulls him into a hug, dramatically kisses his cheek

SASHA

S: eats her chips, laughs at the summary ''Aww, I'm lowkey sad you guys didn't work out. It would've been so cute.'' half joking

M: nods and looks like the cloe meme as soon as mona is all over him but doesn't even move. looks down at his best friend ''Can you.. not?'' rolls eyes when she kisses his cheek but stays put ''I love her so much she's pulling this type of shit right now and I still haven't punched her in the face.

S: laughs and hums, putting her bowl down and walking over to him and grabbing his face before kissing his other cheek. laughs. 

M: shakes head and pushes the two of them away. ''Get off.''

MONA

"Nah, it was for the best. If the two of us actually became a thing, we probably both would have OD'd by now. Plus, there'd be no Venecia and that isn't even a world I'd like to live in." chuckles when sasha joins in, squeezes him even tighter, scoffs when he pushes them away "I mean, technically we have both gotten you off before... if that's what you meant by get off." winks, knows she's being horribly problematic

SASHA

S: rolls eyes and laughs, eating her chips again. ''I got you off several times. - Remember that one time   I got you off like twice in a three minutes period?'' smirks and looks at mona ''That was my personal best. I did good.'' chuckles

M: Knows hes going to hell and laughs at mona's problematic comment, shaking his head and narrowing his eyes at sasha. ''You want a medal?''

MONA

"Twice in 3 minutes? His little chicken dick was probably weeping with joy that it got THE Sasha," pauses, thinks "I don't know your last name, to BLESS it with her touch." shrugs "I don't know. I think she deserves a medal."

SASHA

S: laughs at mona's comment and nods ''He was so shocked, you could tell I was basically changing his life. - Sasha Cole, that's me.'' laughs ''It's such a pornstar name but I guess it goes well with my life-changing sex skills.'' smirks

M: ''You were also sixteen and I was a grown adult so we should probably never discuss that ever again.'' rolls eyes

S: shrugs ''That didn't stop you from fucking me, did it?''

M: ''It did.'' gives her a look. ''I'm guessing your men don't know y'all are speaking so fondly of my dick, do they?''

MONA

just observes the dynamic of the two of them, so intrigued "Huh. So your morals came into play, just way too late in the game?" shakes head "You guys were so messy. I love it." shrugs "Nobody's man gotta know about this conversation just like your woman doesn't need to know. Simple as that." ven starts crying on the baby monitor, nipples immediately begin to ache and leak "Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back!"

SASHA

S: hums, frowns ''Is that seriously why you never contacted me again?'' furrows brows ''Because of my age?''

M: ''Yes, Sasha. Are you gon' cry about it?'' rolls eyes at her. ''Why would I ever tell anyone about this meeting?'' is immediately interested by P's knives and grabs one, is weirdly fascinated by it.

S: furrows brows and can't believe she's somehow feeling somewhat attracted to marlon at that very moment ''Preston doesn't like people touching stuff, you know?'' brows still furrowed

M: looks at S, staring at her for a second. ''Are you telling him I went through his shit?''

MONA

literally takes her time getting ven, debates feeding her but knows she needs to go back to her guests, carries ven out in her arms "MARLON!! What are you doing? Put that down!" hurries over "Give me that. Now." looks around frantically "Sash, here." unceremoniously hands ven over to ketchup hands, ven is now crYING "I'm not even allowed to touch these, why would you be?" looks through drawers for a cloth to wipe marlon's prints off with, puts hand out for the knife

SASHA

S: jumps a little at mona's reaction and struggles to grab ven without making a ketchup mess all over her baby clothes. starts to kinda rock the baby to sooth her but is watching the whole thing go down with furrowed brows

M: looks mad confused ''What the fuck are you doing?'' gives her the knife ''What.. the fuck.... are you seriously wiping prints off the knife?'' ainsley's face hits his mind ''Stop doing that.'' shakes aisnley's face away and furrows brows 

S: ''Shh, it's okay baby.'' rocks ven

MONA

literally ignores him, wipes the knife off soo thoroughly, carefully inspects it for any leftover marks, hums in satisfaction, returns it to its rightful place "Sorry, he just notices things, okay? And literally like the one rule I have here is to never touch the knives." sighs, stressed suddenly, takes a bottle from the fridge for ven and warms it, holds it out to sasha "It's not you, she's hungry."

SASHA

M: He's deadass so weird.'' shakes head ''You really gon' make ketchup hands feed your child?'' shakes head and takes ven from Sasha with one hand and the bottle with the other, showing pro skills at the whole thing. starts feeding ven and the baby is suddenly quiet and happy to be eating.

S: everything happens so fast that she's just observing, chuckling at how smooth marlon was at taking the baby and feeding her ''That's kinda hot.'' is wide eyed when she realizes she said that out loud.

MONA

"Ketchup hands was the one without a knife. I had to make a decision." shrugs, watches, smiles as he feeds his niece Clearly, you've had lots of practice." raises brows at sasha's comment, knows they've def crossed a line at this point "Sasha!" shakes head, chuckles "Was this a bad idea inviting Marlon over?"

SASHA

M: shrugs, not seeing the big deal ''Being a dad teaches you a thing or two.''

S: giggles and her cheeks start heating up. changes the topic. ''I mean, yeah. Good dads, though.'' shrugs ''Ven's dad can't relate.''

M: raises an eyebrow ''You got something to say, Sasha?'' 

S: laughs ''Hm, yeah. Ven's dad is a flop.'' shrugs, goes back to her chips.

M: ''Your dad is a flop. I mean, his teenage daughter was out there finessing grown man into fucking her.'' furrows brows

S: furrows brows, offended

MONA

cringes, really don't wanna be a part of a convo about fab, lowkey relieved when marlon changes the topic a lil, walks over, lightly and playfully slaps him on the side of his face "What teenager doesn't finesse grown men into fucking them? Shut up." goes over to sasha, pulls her into a hug "Stop being mean to my friend."

SASHA

S: is mad and lowkey sad because she ain't used to people being mean to her ''You were the adult so technically you were the one responsible for it.'' crosses arms over her chest and leans into mona's touch 

M: ''Right, that's exactly why I ended it.'' is annoyed ''Seriously, this was years ago, why are you so pressed? Chill.'' 

S: stays quiet and shrugs

MONA

frowns really upset by the turn this is taking "You're literally just being mean, Marlon." notices sasha going quiet, hugs her tighter, really ain't trying to lose this friend already just bc marlon is mean "Anyways. This was fun and all, but you can go now, Mar."

SASHA

S: gives him a look. ''What do you even get out of being so mean?'' frowns 

M: rolls eyes so far back he caught a glimpse of his brain ''Man, are you still sixteen?'' shakes head and furrows brows before looking down at ven and kissing her cheek and then her forehead. ''Take her.'' carefully hands her to Mona 

S: shrugs slightly again, frowning and hugging mona back ''You're gross.'' @marlon

MONA

frowns, gladly accepts her child, literally just ready for this all to be over "I'll talk to you later, okay?" also @ marlon

SASHA

M: gives mona a look ''Apologize to Hazel, you were gross.'' turns and stares at S for a quick second and reaches for her face, pinches her cheek. ''Toughen up, you're grown now.'' narrows eyes at her. ''You're cute.'' smiles, walks away fully aware he just rocked her world again.

S: is sixteen again and looks up at him, feeling flustered when he calls her cute and furrowing her brows when he leaves

MONA

rolls eyes "Yeah, obviously I will." watches his interaction with sasha, confused and kind of disgusted, shakes head "Alright, enough of that." shuffles him to the door, her hand on his back basically pushing him out "Goodbye, Marlon... We're definitely talking soon."

SASHA

looks like she's about to cry, grabs her bowl but there's nothing there. pouts.

MONA

shuts the door, turns just in time to see sasha's face "Please don't cry!" hurries over and pulls her into another hug, ven squished in the middle "I am so sorry, that was an awful idea."

[strawberryspeachy]

Tonight I’m both really happy and really sad

And this might be the first time i can say that i was really happy - that im actually on both sides

So i met this boy on tinder

Cause i cant meet people any other way

And he’s hiding his face in his pics so i didnt even really know what he looks like

But we talked for a bit on there - he uses a lot of japanese slang that google translate cant translate so he found out realy quick that im not good at japanese

But

Turns out. Hes really good at english. Though he doesnt think he is

So weve been talking for the last week half in japanese and half in english. And its been fun and nice. And he asked me if i was free yesterday (sunday) and we agreeed to meet up

And he asked me to go to his place but upon finding out hes an hour train ride away he said it was too far to make me travel and i suggested meeting in the middle

And he kept saying he really wanted to meet me

And he did!

For once someone didnt keep saying that yo me and then flake.

We met up

And while i was waiting for him at the spot we agreed on, I actually saw him walk by. And i thought wow that boys so cute. That would never be him. Im not lucky enough for the boy i have no idea what he looks like and has actually been having a good conversation with me and actually meets me - end up being cute too

But. It was him. We couldnt find each other for a couple minutes. But the boy i thought was cute ended up being him

And he was so sweet and nice

And we went for a coffee shop he wanted to go to. And i said he could go first while i looked at the menu - which i ultimately decided was too expensive and said i think im good

But. He ordered me a coffee before that. And paid for me

And then he wanted to show me a place in the city - it ended up being closed but its whatever

We explored a bit and then went to eat. Which again he wouldnt let me pay and for the meal

Its not that i think boys should pay but just the gesture... is so legitmate date like

And all day he didnt pay attention to anything else but me. Didnt look at his phone or at anyone else or walk to fast for me to keep up or basically forget that we were doing stuff together. Was just into us talking and smiling at me all day

He didnt ask the regular japanese tinder boy lines —- which being tinder all lead to - lets have sex

No just a really cute g rated fun date

And its the exact kind of first date ive literally dreamed about since i was kid. And i was so happy the whole time

I think my face was probably really ugly cause I couldn’t stop smiling

Why im sad though

I asked him why hes on tinder and he said “i have to tell you” and then explained that he just wants to talk yo many different kinds of people

He initially told me hes in school taking classes. Then said hes on break and has a ton of free time and we talked about hanging more. But then a the end i brought up tuesday being a holiday for me and he changed his answer to maybe.

He always messaged me and responded within an hour but i mesages him afterwards and said thanks and it took him longer to respond and in it he said hes not free tuesday... he said if id like to hang out another day we could.... but he went from havint amazing english text to that one being really sloppy and in bad english. And then he waited like 4 hours to respond to my message saying ok

He didnt say he had fun back

Hes not being super sweet over the text anymore or writing much

So

Ill probably never see him again

So im sad

And in trying to focus on the fact that like... the date happened... i always wanted just at least one date... and i finally got one... which someone i legitmately found attractive and enjoyed talking to enough that i agreed to meet up and chill without even knowing what he looked like. Like i was full on ready to just have a nice to with the cool probably ugly dude id been talking to over text

So. Ya..

Also

People kept staring... i get stared at in general alot everywhere

But todays were extra upsetting

Cause people kept looking at us and making this face like

Oh that boys really attractive... wtf is he doing with her...

And now... though it doesnt change that id also like to be attracted to the appearance of a boy id date

But the one girl i hung out with in college said she didnt want to date a boy my atttractive than her...

And now i kinda get it

Like all day. It was hard to not notice them cause girls especially would just gawk... just full on in my peripheral i see their head turns back and forth between us but then stopping on me and when id look over theyd whisper

On the sidewalk when we waited at street lights... like a buffer would form around us... so people could stare...

And i know it wasnt just japanese boy/foreign girl cause ive hung out with other japanese guys and ive never received this reaction before

Like i said he at least acted obnoxious to everything that wasnt me which was super flattering. So it made me feel bad when id get distracted by the quickly moving head ot gawking girls around us. Hed notice me look but he had to have seen it too cause he never looked at any of them - instead would like look up at something or just smile at me

Oh also btw. He has one of the like 4 boy names i was obsessed with as a teenager and would always name the made up boys i daydreamed about - its his nickname and his full names even cuter

Just ugh

I am a clusterfuck of feelings right now... and i really hope i see him again. And im trying to prepare myself for the greater probability that is i wont see him again. And im trying to like... not be upset about it... cause i dont think ive ever hung out with a guy whose been nicer to me for a whole before in my life

Like even when we were leaving. He walked me to my train line and then waited and watched till i was out of sight. And kept waving

[adam-wolf-deville-blog]

DAY 0 - A Blog Is Born

Greetings Salutations , Come on in, pull up a pew, stay awhile and listen!!

So here i sit looking at my Analytics for both my FBpage and Youtube Channel..

Lets Face it its a bit depressing.. So what can be done about? well a search on the Inter-web of pornal delights .. Fb Organic "reach" is more or less dead and buried Meaning all you have left are Paid advertising.. and well i cant afford to do that right now.. so another thing that keeps getting mentioned is Blogging and Blogs

How successfully will this be? who know but lets find out.. so as i sit listening to Siouxsie and the Banshees.. a blog was born...

Will it be Witty? Intelligent? Insightful? well i guess only time will tell...

it will be at least musical.. it will not contain anything "personal" beyond my feelings and thoughts about my music and musical related content .. ie GEAR PORN!!!!!!! whooo i said it out loud,.. Im a GEAR PORN Addict.. i like gear I LOVE guitars, LOVE Modding and fixing and rebuilding

OK maybe for first Bloggness i should introduce my self :

I was Born in the Later half of the 70'S just in time to become a Starwars fanboy

[caption id="attachment_44" align="alignnone" width="406"]

Me at some age Prob around 18mths .. YES I was a big baby.. and it didn't stop there being I'm now 6'5[/caption]

The above pic is my on my Aunt's Motorbike.. if any of my family want to clarify it please feel free..

so skip ahead to a fairly average childhood.. Filled with all the joys the 80s could bring..

I grew up in a environment of music, my Uncle on my mothers-side was a bass player and had been since he was in high school.. i vividly remember begging him to play the batman TV series over and over again

Lets get to the good stuff.. the year is prob 1990 .. and its summer. and my second year of high school..

Lets go to a friends house.. and lets say he puts on "Appetite for Destruction"

at Which point me life changed for ever... the Sound .. The Guitar.. that would be come my new found desire.. my obsession...

so followed Several years of annoying the neighbors .. finding a very close friendship musicianship if you will with another school friend.. where we would sit and learn together, video our sessions long before YouTube..

ok i confess i have skipped a lot as i dont really think you want be bored with reading about how i listened to all the hair metal i could get my hands on from WASP to Poison motley crue, Alice Cooper, David lee Roth ,etc etc how i grew my hair in high school at a time where it wasn't "tolerated for boys" to have long hair.. really got heavily into Metallica.. when the black album was released..dropped out of school .. due to Personal Issues..

I guess the next chapter is where i began working PT as as a Saturday job and being a unpaid hang out during the week. at the local music shop.. it was here i discovered my interest in modding and fixing guitars.. i had the enthusiasm but not the money or the ability(yet) do even to much beyond a restring rewire and fret "Clean" i say Clean cause i didn't know about leveling and crowning and all the stuff that actually makes a difference,

the Guitar in the photo above was a "perk" from those days, and i rewired it with the pickups from my "satellite" Les Paul Clone that i acquired from my Uncle (after a bad trip to the dentist) and used capacitors ripped from a blown TV (which is still in there after 30yrs or there about) its DUE an upgrade.. stay tuned to my youtube channel ill prob do before and after stuff..

so where was i? oh yeah no longer working at the music store pretty much having to find a real job.. yey the dreams are dead!! we cant all do our dream jobs and just get payed to play guitar all day. now can well..

the other thing i had a Talent for was Computers, my father is an engineering genius.. he could strip engines and rebuild with his eyes closed so my mother told me.. and after 30 yrs i finally met him and could well believe it. having seen the workshop ,hot tub, and ride on lawnmower he built.. but i on the other hand am not an engineer cars baffle me and anything "mechanical" breaks but computers, there i shined.. i rebuild pcs and printers like i was born to it.. fixed them and service them into new leases of life..

I even did qualifications in it.. just really to get a proper job..

everything i have ever done since leaving the music shop was IT related..

it was in the training the next chapter starts, when i meet a guy called Dek..

who was in a band.. one day he comes to me knowing i was a guitarist..

"what gear do you have?" .. ermm at this point, i had a Boss GX700 and a Marshall valvestate 80 and a lot of guitars but (nothing really reliable)

"You like our stuff?, our guitarist just quit. wanna come and try out?" (im prob paraphrasing so but you get the idea..

so I went home and got the CD out.. borrowed a Jackson HSH performer from my Musicbro (mentioned above)

Learned a couple of tunes Roughly (unfort at this time i was not good enough to do Everything there previous guitarist did) but i did my best..

and low and behold i became the guitarist for D-Shock.. (based in wednesbury in the midlands UK)

I Guess my look was HEAVILY inspired by Rob Zombie, who i was listening to a lot at the time..

I was, am overtly shy, and HATED speaking on camera, after i heard my voice as a teen on "Videos" the Wolverhampton accent didn't sit well with me..  i have i think after living abroad since 2007 in various places, lost it. and listening to "new videos" I don't feel so self conscious.. but i am still ..

this led to a very interesting character trait for the band, during interviews (yes we did 2 on local collage radio.. where i would not speak just stare at the presenter,

being 6'5 and the tallest in the band, (and the baby i was the youngest too) made for a very nervous person behind the mic..

So we did a few gigs, and although we never made it into the studio.. (yes this was before home studios)

I did manage to write some new material with them

DNA, SCARS, i seem to remember a 3rd track but i might be mistaken..

we Covered Kylies confide in me..

but all things come to an end, it was obvious that we were not getting anywhere in this scene it was "serious" and in hindsight we were too early, a few years later would have been better, and add social media to this we could have been popular at it..

but we changed and started doing 80s rock covers, poison, bon jovi motley crue etc.. but this would be short lived.. though all this time, i had been dealing with depression and excessive fatigue, i could fall asleep at the drop of a hat.. and did, many times i would turn up for rehearsals at 5pm and wait around till the next person got there, and i would be asleep on the couch .. or if it was a my afternoon off at work, i would go home at 12 and sleep till it was time to rehearse..

so i made the decision (to leave the band and move to another "technically" country, and moved to the Isle of Mann for about 6months,

moved back till 2007 and moved to Australia till 2012 then returned to EU to move to Germany.. where i currently Reside.. ... this should be apt place to leave this blog for now.. when we return we will open up the blog to musical aspirations, and feelings and what is next in-store for Wolfie D..

till next time folks, remember like share and subscribe to EVERYTHING as i dont know where i will pop up next..

hahah

The Offical Wolfie D Facebook Page

O Look Pretty Pictures.. must be Instagram!

This is where the Magic Happens.. Its Youtube Everybody!!

OOO Opinions! it must be TWITTER!!

Later Peeps!!

Wolfie D