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interloved · 3 months

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modern!anakin skywalker as your professor + age gap

lowkey daddy professor!anakin x bimbo!reader

description box; anakin is your professor and your boyfriend. that blurs the lines between his job and you being his student sometimes — but he can’t ever deny his sweet girl a request, and this time you want him to give his honest opinion on the essay you’ve written for an assignment he gave his students, including you.

warnings; nsfw warning, blow job, MINOR BLOGS DNI!!, age gap, smut under the cut!

HE’S TAKING TOO LONG to read it. he’s rereading the same lines, again and again, and he’s frowning.

“you don’t like it.”

you hate the way your quivers, like you’re weak and… and dependant. oh, but you are. you depend on his every word and action like he’s your lifeline.

“no — no, sweetheart, i do, it’s just…” and then, anakin sighs and sets aside his glasses, looking into your eyes directly with his startlingly piercing, frost-coloured eyes.

he’s struggling to find words that won’t bruise your ego too badly. anakin never lies to you, but he can’t find it in him to give you a brutally honest review.

anakin sits on the couch as you pace nervously in front of him, the table in front of him filled with documents, his laptop and… that damned essay.

“it’s just what?” you inquire, and your voice is already breaking, “you hate my essay! i can hear it!”

and then, all the dams break; you’re turning away from him and all the tears start flooding and the overthinking starts to claw its way into your soul.

“you’re… you’re gonna give me an F! you’re going to fail me, i’m going to fail this class — you, you hate my essay…” you’re falling into complete despair.

anakin winces, this is exactly the reaction he had wanted to prevent.

“oh, c’mere, sweet girl, i don’t hate your essay. it’s just a little, er… childish wording, but that’s nothing to worry about — ‘m not gonna fail you, all right?”

you sniffle, and for a moment, your tears stop. “y-you’re not?”

anakin winces again — he may be your boyfriend and he may love you, but he’s also your professor and has to keep a certain neutrality towards the work you offer to him as his student. but he can’t deny it, being so close to you, it’s been blurring the lines of professionalism. you’re such a sweet, little thing — so pretty and so young, so soft and so kind-hearted. he couldn’t ever say no to any of your requests.

and maybe you’ve learned to use that against him somehow. he’s given you way too many A’s and B’s that you did not deserve because as much as he loves you as a person, you are a bad writer. you’re not hopeless; there is definitely a good basic idea and core in every one of your essays, just the execution… somehow fails to be amazing every time. and he’s not exaggerating.

“yeah… yeah, i’ll give you a C, m’kay, kid? it’s not a bad essay, pretty, it just needs a little polishing.” he comforts you, caging your, in comparison to him, small frame in his warm, trained arms.

but this time, you frown. “a C? you… you’ve never given me a C before.”

it’s always been A’s and B’s.

anakin struggles to find the right words again, “well, this time your performance was a tiny bit… lacking… but just a little, darling, no need to cry — aw, sweetheart, don’t cry…”

“l-l-lacking? i’m… lacking?” you wail as you push away his arms and pace to the kitchen, this time sobbing violently.

when he reaches you, your eyes are all puffy and red, and he panics.

“no, you’re not lacking!” he protests, think, anakin, think, “i’ll… i’ll give you an A, m’kay? so stop crying, please, you’re too pretty to be crying like that over a grade.”

your sobbing stops slowly, and a relieved smile makes its way onto your lips. “r-really? thank you so much, ani! love you so much!”

you squeal and jump into his arms, and it’s like the rainbows have started showing after the storm. anakin laughs at your excitement but mentally slaps himself — he’d sworn himself he wouldn’t give you good grades without you earning them anymore, but it appears he really just can’t say no to his little darling.

“i’ll make it up to you, i promise!” you swear to him, covering his handsome face with kisses, and he grins cheekily.

“oh really? how’re you gonna do that, little lady?” he chuckles good-naturedly.

and you think, you think real hard. and you jump down, out of his embrace, and you thank him in the only way you know.

you lead him to the couch and settle between his legs, and you unbuckle his belt.

“oh, like that? i didn’t mean that—” anakin stops whatever he was going to say when you take him whole. whole.

a choked, throaty moan escapes his lips and almost automatically, his big hands reach for your hand; his hand almost covers the whole back of your head, and his fingers are getting tangled in your soft hair, and he bucks up into your soft lips.

“fuck,” he groans and he closes his eyes, and he looks so breathtaking, so handsome, like a greek god, “god, what did i do to deserve you… such a beautiful, obedient girl… must’ve saved a country in my past life to deserve you.”

he feels your lips curling up at his praise and he looks down, and it’s a sight to behold. big, innocent doe eyes looking up at him like he’s a god you’re worshipping, nothing but pure admiration and love shining in those eyes.

“my god, you’re so adorable,” he praises you, eyes closed and brows furrowed so prettily, moaning when you begin to deepthroat him, your pretty head going up and down, up and down, “so, so, so pretty…”

and then, his chiselled abs tenses, his thighs quiver slightly, and you know he’s close.

“c’mon,” he whispers, “swallow.”

and you obey, like his good little girl.

if he’s getting thanked this dedicatedly by a student, surely he can make exceptions from time to time.

he doesn’t get paid enough anyway.

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x reader smut #anakin smut #anakin x reader #anakin x you #obsessive anakin #star wars #star wars anakin

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myfairstarlight · 3 days

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An Ode To Friends to Lovers - Colin and Penelope's story

Fine, I give in.

As someone who considers themself more of a casual viewer (as in, I've never engaged in the fandom before), I went into this new season with mild interest. And then I fell down the rabbit hole. I should have suspected it though, Friends to Lovers is a trope I affectionate particularly when it comes to romance, unfortunately one I very rarely think is done well. So I was still skeptical going in.

But by God, did they deliver on that front and I need to break it down and talk about it. So I guess this is my review of Bridgerton s3, part 1.

Under the cut though, because this is gonna be a long one (seriously, this is a warning).

I don't particularly think Bridgerton is a complex show, and one can argue all day about whether it is even good (in my eyes, as long as it's entertaining, I don't care if a show is "good"), however, the number of takes I've seen online not understanding basic story-telling worries me a bit.

Don't get me wrong, I agree this first half has pacing issues but I do not think Penelope's and Colin's love story suffered that much, it did not feel rushed to me since we already knew these characters for two whole seasons (and I maintain Colin has always had more depths than what people pretend he does, it seems like, just like the ton, viewers like to overlook him and just characterise him as naive).

And I guess this long ass post was born in the process. So:

Part One: Penelope's glow up

Yes I'm starting by looking at them individually first. I think this post on reddit sums it up so perfectly. I get we're all joking about how unrealistic it is that no man was ever interested in Penelope despite how she looks like an absolute goddess (and I maintain she was the cutest in both previous seasons as well!) - unfortunately it is realistic. That's the reality of bullying, it doesn't get solved by a glow up. Even her association with the Bridgertons through Eloise and Colin did not lessen the bullying, so without them? Even the prettiest dresses would not have changed the ton's perception of her, and she's still the awkward, anxious girl she's always been, and unfortunately, most of these men are not attracted to that. It's not satisfying, she doesn't get her triumphant revenge on a society that always ostracised her - and I think it's important that she does not. That she accepts it. She should not have to change for a ton that will not change for the better either. And it's a lesson she learns quickly - someone will love her for who she is, pretending will only lead to misery. And, it is when she's being herself that she successfully gets the interest of some gentlemen (shout out to Lord Remington! I was so hoping we would be seeing more of him on top of Debling. He's such a Whistledown fan I thought that even after the whole lesson reveal scandal he would have stuck to call on Penelope the next day to gossip together, it would have been cute but I guess he too wanted to avoid being written about) (also I'm just saying in fics he should be the one considered as a proper other suitor for Pen since they seemed to have a genuine connection, meanwhile Debling was really searching for practicality).

The thing I wanna add to that post is this: despite all that, she decided to change her looks for herself. When I first learned of the plot of this season, Colin helping her find a husband, I was scared it would mean Colin would be the one to tell her to have a makeover. It doesn't happen. Sure, Penelope subconsciously requests for a more Parisian style for her new dresses because it is the last place Colin went to, but by that point she has already given up on him. She wants something new, and to feel good in herself. That's how she blooms, by finding a style that she feels comfortable in, finally free from her mother's horrendous tastes. That's what allows her to be more confident as well, the new looks and her motivation to move on from her "unrequited fantasy". As for Colin? He never comments on her change, he compliments her dress (and mind you, that is when he's trying to play up the charm because he knows she's upset with him and he gets humbled, hard) but he never says it looks better on her than what she wore before, he never has a "I never realised how beautiful you were" moment we see a bit too often in friends to lovers stories, because to him she's still his Pen, new dresses, new hairstyles, but the same Pen he's always loved, even if he didn't realise to what extent yet.

But Penelope's confidence... is not quite there yet. Difficult to be, when she's grown up in a loveless home, with horrible sisters, a father who barely cared and a mother who constantly puts her down. Whenever she gets a compliment, her first reaction is "ah, it must be a joke" - that isn't even exclusive to Colin, in the brief interaction between Edwina and Penelope, when Edwina compliments her dress, Penelope also dismisses it. And then, there's Colin, who is always oh so honest with her and does not shy away from praising her. But I'll touch more on that later.

Part Two: Colin's new self.

And then we have the opposite: Colin showing up with a new attitude, and succeeding at it (well, on the surface). Something I haven't seen people bring up a lot though is that he's already tried a new look in s2, and he got mocked for it. The only one who didn't? Penelope. Why didn't he try to emulate being a rake back then? Because Penelope's letters grounded him, he admits it himself. It's seeing himself through Penelope's letters that gave him confidence. But that kind of confidence was not enough in the ton's eyes, and on top of that, between s2 and s3, this time Penelope doesn't write back, and neither do his family. He grows insecure, he's lost the one person who kept him grounded, he thinks his family is annoyed with him, and he still is in search of a purpose, so what does he do? He clings to Anthony's words in s1 after the disaster that was his engagement with Marina: he's too green, time to "fix" that and be more like his big brothers. They got it together, they know their purpose (well, Benedict lost his again but that's a story for another day), so surely, if he acts more like them, and not like the sensitive and naive boy he was, then surely everything will be alright! Right? Note that as opposed to s2, where he kept talking about his travels and it annoyed everyone, in s3 he doesn't go into details about them anymore, even when he's asked. They're only interested in the company he kept during the travels rather than the sights he saw. And honestly, it was heartbreaking to see right away how much of himself he was holding back, even with his own family. Penelope, however, gets the details without even asking because he already knows she likes hearing him talk about them and she makes him comfortable, and he's fully aware of that when he apologises in s3e1.

(I also want to note that, even if this new persona is fake, his new style genuinely fits him better. Just like Penelope, this season Colin found the style that makes him feel good and confident.)

And here's where I need to praise Luke's acting for a bit, because he absolutely nailed the subtle way Colin behaves differently with Penelope vs everyone else. His voice is softer, he is effortlessly charming (I was kicking my feet when he recalled how they met), his smile is bigger, even his whole face looks more relaxed whenever Penelope is around, meanwhile he always appears stiff and like he's calculating his every move when around his "friends". In fact, it is in the carriage scene we finally truly see s1&2's Colin back. When he has that look on his face, as he decides right there and then he's gonna marry her, and then a second later when he asks the question, his face. By God, his eyes are sparkling, he's so happy, and he looks as youthful and carefree as he did in previous seasons, far are the thoughts of trying to fit in a society that he hates.

Because above all, these two know and understand each other in a way no one else in their lives does. And that is a fact that remains despite the outward changes. So yes, I liked that their dynamic did not shift to romance because of their "glow ups", but because they are spending even more time together now. Speaking of which:

Part Three: Authenticity and Vulnerability

One big theme this season is being true to oneself. It's no coincidence mirrors are such a big part of it (even outside of the yet to be seen spicy scene), because looking at a mirror means looking at oneself, and be vulnerable. If s2 was about duty vs heart, eldest siblings trying to do right by their family to the point of self-sabotage, s3 is a battle between the head and the heart. It is not even exclusive to Polin - Eloise is learning and growing by trying to take genuine part in society but struggling to fit in. Cressida wants to become a better person, torn between the pressure put on her shoulders by her parents and this new friendship with Eloise. Benedict is looking for his purpose after learning Anthony paid his way to art school, and feeling like a fraud as an artist. Anthony and Kate are unashamedly in love, as they deserve to be after the struggles they went through last season. Francesca has no care for the suitors the Queen and her mother parade in front of her as the "sparkler" of the season (sidenote but I hated that, stupid name, should have stuck to diamond or select another gem) as her heart seeks out the handsome and quiet John Sterling instead. And this will continue in part 2, as Penelope will have to be honest about Lady Whistledown (because she's always her most authentic self around Colin, there is still this big secret she is so determined to keep to herself, when she should not).

The beauty about friends to lovers stories to me is the small declarations of love sprinkled throughout the relationship. It's about the trust already built in with no expectations and the vulnerability we'd never allow anyone but our closest friends to see, something even our family can be ignorant to. I mentioned earlier that Colin never shies away from praising Penelope, way before their dynamic shifts to lovers. He tells her she's good, constant, loyal, special, warm. All of these are declarations of love, even if not with romantic intent, it's about showing his appreciation for her, for the role she holds in his life. And Penelope responds in kind as well. That is why I believe people who think the romance was rushed in s3 either did not watch the past two seasons or see friendship and romantic love as two distinct things rather than a cohesive continuation of each other. In s1, people focus so much on the Marina stuff, as if that cancels out Colin's friendship with Penelope. We still do see Colin actively seek out Penelope at balls, and defending her against Cressida, he compliments her and tells her she's the one who inspired him to travel. Then s2 rolls in, and they're exchanging letters, which will become the cataclysm for their dynamic changing later on. And then there's one of my favourite scenes with them: them talking about their purpose. They both open up here, Colin about his insecurity, Penelope about her dream, it is so intimate. And then, there's of course Colin protecting the Featheringtons from ruins. I'm mostly emphasising Colin's actions, because Penelope's crush on him was always in your face, and while Colin may not have realised it yet, he's always cared about Penelope in a special way, as manifested by his actions and how vulnerable he allows himself to be around her, when even his own family has no idea about what's going on inside his head.

There's a misconception that Colin calling her his friend was him rejecting her, and yet we see in s3 he had no idea whatsoever that she has a crush on him, so he could not lead her on (unlike his book counterpart, who was aware of Penelope's infatuation and was careful never to toe the line until he realised his feelings. Show Colin though? Completely oblivious. And it makes sense, he's still young.) He asks Violet "how do you know it was reciprocated" and not "how do you know you're in love with your best friend". As of right now at the end of part 1, he genuinely thinks he's the one who fell in love first, or at least realised it first. His "You're Pen, you do not count, you're my friend" in s2, was not a rejection in his eyes, but a declaration of love; he's forsaken love and women but not his Penelope, never her, she's his exception And it's not like Penelope resented him for that friendship he so readily gave her, yes she had a crush, but she was proud to call him her friend! He was, with Eloise, her solace away from her family. At the end of the day, this is a friends to lovers story, it is silly to get upset that they considered themselves friends first before there is a click as they realise they are now on the same page to shift their relationship.

Side note but I've never liked the term "friendzoned" because it makes it sound like being friends is a bad thing. I've had unrequited feelings before but I've always felt grateful that being friends with them allowed me to stay close to them even if I knew nothing else could happen. I was still very much happy and content. But maybe I'm projecting on Penelope and that's another debate.

See, what I ended up loving about the lesson plot, which I was so wary of at first, is that Colin barely teaches Penelope anything. At first, he goes for the "do what society expects women to do" (since it worked for him) but then she acts awkwardly, she can't fake it, and it surprises him for a moment. That's when it clicks for him, she just needs to be comfortable because with him, she's always smart, witty and charming, she's herself. He's always seen her that way, and he did not quite realise he had that privilege in the first place. And I love how we see him slowly realise it is no longer a privilege thanks to his help. We see it in e2. When she talks to the guy with the dead horse (forgot his name, oops), Penelope forces the flirt and Colin is amused by it. Fast forward Penelope approaching Lord Remington by herself, without Colin's initiative, and she's being more authentic, and suddenly Jealous by Nick Jonas plays in the background and Colin doesn't look proud, but apprehensive, or dare I say jealous. The shift in Colin's head happens long before Debling is in the picture. I'd argue it already shifted earlier in that episode, in his study, which he flashbacks to in e4.

His journals detail how unfulfilled he feels when he lays with random women in his travels. He longs for emotional intimacy. And guess with who he finally finds that, when a certain red-head asks the one question that allows them to break the physical barrier they had to keep between them for the sake of propriety?

Ah yes, that first kiss. To Colin, everything has been building up to this, this is his true Oh moment. A favour turned into a revelation. For Penelope, this is quite literally the end of her fantasies. This is Penelope's most vulnerable moment. She bares her heart, she's sad, she's desperate. And some people have been calling that moment pathetic, interpreting it as her being weak and giving in to her crush again, saying that she should not have to beg for that man's affection. I concur that she is brave, and bold. I also concur that some of you all are a bit too attached to the girlboss archetype forgetting that allowing oneself to be vulnerable is also a strength. She's never had to beg for Colin's attention anyway because he readily gives it to her, but in this one instance, for once in her life, she is truly being honest. In her head, she has nothing else to lose, and she wants to experience the one thing she thinks she can never have so of course she's gonna turn to the one person she's always trusted and feels the most comfortable with, because before her crush, Colin is her friend. She's asking a favour from a friend. And then she can move on, whatever "moving on" will turn out to be. In this instance, she has the power in her hands.

And it is her bravery that is the true cataclysm for things to change properly. Of course, things have already started to change the moment she stopped replying to the letters, but that moment really expedited their relationship.

Part Four: Lovers, but in a best friends way

The thing with Bridgerton, in the books or in the show, is that each couple has their trope. This is not news to anyone, I think. We've had fake dating, and enemies to lovers, and one characteristic that these two tropes share is a growing tension between the characters before it snaps. There is a reason the early marketing for s3 focused on Penelope being cold towards Colin, tension and conflict are more appealing on the surface. And then the first half of the season comes out and that conflict between our main couple? Solved after one episode because they did one thing that is severely missing in most romance dramas: communicated healthily. Penelope laid out why she was upset (although she does not stay to let Colin explain and then vents out her feelings in Whistledown... she still has some learning to do), Colin immediately went to apologise and make up for it. All of this by talking. And yet I'd argue friends to lovers still has its own tension, just not to the same intensity as the other two, and more difficult to market. The tension comes from the brewing feelings, the way you start seeing every touch, every interaction, in a whole new light, and wondering if it's only in your head or if it's reciprocated. But now combine that with Colin who's always been so earnest about his feelings with Penelope? And Penelope who's always quietly wanted their relationship to evolve that way? Of course they figured it out quickly and got together in half a season. And I'm delighted that we will see them handle the whole Whistledown mess as a couple, as two people aware they love each other deeply, which gives a whole new meaning to the conflict compared to the book where I felt like it was brushed over a bit too quickly (because they got distracted in that carriage). It is the last secret between them, their last obstacle.

I also do not like the "Colin should have grovelled and pined more" argument, when he is the one who insisted on the lessons to help her find a husband in the first place, and then has to face the fact that actually, he doesn't like the idea of another man taking Penelope away, and oh, isn't that the consequences of his own actions? He is grovelling, you just don't see Penelope holding it over his head, because that's not the person she is, this is not a revenge fantasy story, in fact she does not realise the power she has on him because she is used to Colin seeking her out. I like that he didn't stew on his feelings and decided to act on them right away. I also don't like how this whole grovelling thing makes it sound like love is a competition, that just because Penelope has known she's been in love for longer and "suffered" longer, that means Colin needs to do the same to even the planes. Because in my eyes love isn't exactly something to be earned — it is given. Now, are you worthy to keep it? To nurture it and make it bloom and last? That is the real question.

Admittedly, since this is only the first half of the season, we do not see them in a romantic setting a lot. That first half is focused on them rekindling their friendship lost during the summer when Penelope stopped responding to the letters, and Colin having the realisation he cannot live without his best friend, not just because she is his best friend, but also because he loves her. But we do have two important, and obvious instances.

So let's talk about that first kiss again. It is, in my opinion, one of the most gentle and romantic moments in the show so far and also showcased their friendship really well. Colin trying to joke to lighten the mood as Penelope spirals down (peak best friend behaviour actually), the gentle, swelling music, the light of the moon, Colin's deep exhale of realisation as he holds her face when he goes back in for the second kiss, with the furrowed brows of a man on a mission. This is Penelope's most vulnerable moment and Colin's big realisation. And I felt like I was intruding.

And same goes for that carriage scene, but even before they go at it; now this is Colin's most vulnerable moment, and Penelope's realisation that they can be more. He chases the carriage by foot, then goes on his knees to confess his feelings to his best friend in the softest and most determined voice we've ever heard him use this whole season, eyes wide, tears threatening to fall as it is his turn to bare his heart and ask for a chance. Meanwhile Penelope takes it all in, running her hand through his hair because she can finally touch him, melting under him. Things get steamy. And then... and then... The carriage stops, they get startled, Colin jokes that the driver should have kept on driving and then... they laugh. They just made out, and went to second base together, and yet here they are now, laughing. It is such a genuine and lovely moment. And it's then that Colin has that look in his eyes, that "I'm gonna marry her" look. That is when he realises he cannot live his life without her. That his purpose is now right in front of him: making Penelope Featherington, soon to be Bridgerton, laugh until the end of their lives.

Conclusion

There's no conclusion, I just love them so dearly. Yes, there still is the whole Whistledown mess to deal with and sure, the argument with Eloise may make you think great angst is ahead but if there is one big difference between Colin and Eloise, it is this: Colin has always listened to Penelope, and this is not a diss on Eloise. Eloise, bless her heart, can be pretty self-centred, she's loud and a bit immature, something she is growing from in s3, and you cannot ignore that she did not really listen to Penelope (she has no idea Penelope wishes to marry when Penelope tells her she does in s1, we can blame the writing, but I do think it fits with Eloise's journey to realising how privileged and dismissive she is. Penelope was too polite to call her out until their falling out. Meanwhile Cressida is exactly the type of honesty she needs for a wake up call). Colin, on the other hand, is very sensitive and a good listener. Furthermore, this season, Penelope is learning to be more confident, to voice what she wants, and I like to think it is leading to her finding her own voice and not needing Whistledown to hide behind anymore. If there's someone with whom she has no filters, it is Colin, so I have faith that when the reveal happens and an argument breaks out, this new Penelope will not back down and will lay out all her reasons and all her regrets, and Colin may be stubborn, but he loves that woman and he always listens.

A part of me also wishes they keep the jealousy he felt about her writing in the book, and that they don't focus just on the whole "you lied to me" aspect (we've already had that with Eloise). How he, himself, is insecure about his writing, and here Penelope is, less fortunate than he is, and yet who did have the courage to get her writing out there, even if publishing under another name. Because that is also a reality in relationships, when your partner is at a different stage in their career, and how they can communicate to support one another.

Anyway, I'm just rambling now (as if that isn't what I've been doing this whole time). I like them. A little. Just a bit. I'm very normal about them <3

#bridgerton #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton spoilers #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #polin #long post #ok i got it all out of my system don't expect more bton posts from me lol #at least until part2 i guess #star.txt

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drdemonprince · 5 months

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I read Anna Biller's (director, writer, set designer, and basically everything-er of The Love Witch) new novel Bluebeard's Castle. And I really found it to be quite the addictive and enchanting read, though all of the criticisms of the book that you'll see on Goodreads and Amazon are completely legitimate.

The book very much does read like a screenplay -- there are long descriptions of interior design and costumes, sometimes positioned in the middle of a scene in ways that break up the emotional momentum, to a hilarious effect. For example, in one sequence the protagonist is considering a gruesome vision of suicide, and then looks in the mirror to admire her hobble skirt and reflect that she's looking very sexy.

Some of The Love Witch's less charitable viewers didn't understand the way Biller's work sweeps from the grand and romantic to the self-involved and frivolous, but it's clearly intentional, and it works on the page for me just as well as it did on the screen. You just have to have the irreverent, glamorous toxic girl sensibility for it. If you love the way Lana Del Rey mixes the high and low brows, the tragic with the prosaic, you'll lap it up here too.

In some cases, Biller's descriptions do feel like placeholders, or are so generically written that it would make perfect sense in a script (because there is an entire team working on the film that can bring a "sexy" dress or a "lovely" piece of furniture to life), but which falls flat here. Because I know Biller's aesthetic style so well, when she tells me that room is sumptuous or well-appointed, I can picture precisely what she means, and most of the time she is so specific with her descriptions of outfits and accessories that you can easily conjure what she's going for. At some random moments, though, things are underwritten and demand that you as the reader fill in the details she normally provides.

Bluebeard's Castle is the story of a contemporary romance novelist and converted Catholic virgin, Judith, who falls under the seductive spell of an aloof, gruff, emotionally volatile Baron's-son, Gavin, who sweeps her off her feet following a fated encounter at a wedding. After a whirlwind romance and a hasty wedding, Biller's protagonist moves into a remodeled castle with her brooding lover, and the cracks in his shining armor begin to show. The charm of the love interest is something of an informed attribute; you have to believe the narrator that he is handsome and dracula-like (or believe that she believes it) in order to allow the story to move along. Since this is a tragedy rather than a romance novel, I think that buy-in is relatively easy to provide. The sex scenes are largely left to the margins as well; this book isn't meant to titilate but rather pull you into Judith's rich, sad, delusional inner world.

Some of the most positive reviews of Bluebeard's Castle describe this as a novel about how and why women find themselves entrapped within abusive relationships. As someone who has been in abusive relationships, I think this truly is where Biller's writing excels -- and she truly gets what it's like to become romantically and sexually addicted to someone who is bad for you to a degree that is almost embarrassing to see oneself reflected in. She truly gets it -- the way you excuse small violations, blot out any consideration of your own consent, justify unexpected outbursts from your partner and then take steps to prevent them, the way you must romanticize every single tender moment, rewrite the gradual conditioning of your own behavior as yourself becoming a canny, subtle manipulator of the situation, and color in between the lines of a truly unfulfilling existence with grand narratives and self-serving lies.

It's not a pretty portrait -- Bluebeard's Judith has a fanciful, inconsistent mind, constantly swapping between admitting to herself that her husband has mistreated her, and seeking refuge in religion, fantasy, alcohol, sex, and self-negation in order to convince herself that such abuses did not really happen, or don't really matter. She also uses other people -- leaning on her sister and a former romantic interest, the respectful, reliable doctor Tony -- extracting as much attention and support from them as she possibly can when she and Gavin are in a rough patch, then abandoning them entirely the moment he returns to her. I think a reader who hasn't been in an extended abusive relationship will probably find Judith infuriating and unsympathetic. But as someone who has done and been all of these things, I feel incredibly exposed by Biller's narrative, in a bracing way. It's like a shot of cold water to the face.

Many people will justifiably write this book off as melodramatic and arch, but I think it perfectly nails the alluring drama of being wrapped up within a terrible relationship dynamic. When you're being abused and you deeply love your abuser, you are absolutely fascinated by their unpredictable emotions and your own love -- you think constantly about how you might elicit the treatment from them that your heart longs for, you're reading into their every gesture and expression all the time, and you're inventing satisfying explanations for your situation in your head all the time. It's an isolated, deluded life, but it's pleasurably intense too sometimes, and those of us who fall prey to it often have some deeper longing for connection and passion that makes us easier to prey on. Biller really understands that.

If you adored The Love Witch, you'll probably have a lot of patience for this book's flaws and feel appropriately targeted by its strengths. Sad girls, Virgin Suicides fans, BPD baddies, Jane Eyre lovers, grown up former Twilight readers, and all kinds of other pitiful glamorous freaks will enjoy it.

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reddancer1 · 29 days

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Heather Cox Richardson

April 30, 2024 (Tuesday)

This morning, Time magazine published a cover story by Eric Cortellessa about what Trump is planning for a second term. Based on two interviews with Trump and conversations with more than a dozen of his closest advisors, the story lays out Trump’s conviction that he was “too nice” in his first term and that he would not make such a mistake again.

Cortellessa writes that Trump intends to establish “an imperial presidency that would reshape America and its role in the world.”

He plans to use the military to round up, put in camps, and deport more than 11 million people. He is willing to permit Republican-dominated states to monitor pregnancies and prosecute people who violate abortion bans. He will shape the laws by refusing to release funds appropriated by Congress (as he did in 2019 to try to get Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelensky to smear Hunter Biden). He would like to bring the Department of Justice under his own control, pardoning those convicted of attacking the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021, and ending the U.S. system of an independent judiciary. In a second Trump presidency, the U.S. might not come to the aid of a European or Asian ally that Trump thinks isn’t paying enough for its own defense. Trump would, Cortelessa wrote, “gut the U.S. civil service, deploy the National Guard to American cities as he sees fit, close the White House pandemic-preparedness office, and staff his Administration with acolytes who back his false assertion that the 2020 election was stolen.”

To that list, former political director of the AFL-CIO Michael Podhorzer added on social media that if Trump wins, “he could replace [Supreme Court justices Clarence] Thomas, [Samuel] Alito, and 40+ federal judges over 75 with young zealots.”

“I ask him, Don’t you see why many Americans see such talk of dictatorship as contrary to our most cherished principles?” Cortellessa wrote. No, Trump said. “‘I think a lot of people like it.”

Time included the full transcripts and a piece fact-checking Trump’s assertions. The transcripts reflect the former president’s scattershot language that makes little logical sense but conveys impressions by repeating key phrases and advancing a narrative of grievance. The fact-checking reveals that narrative is based largely on fantasy.Trump’s own words prove the truth of what careful observers have been saying about his plans based on their examination of MAGA Republicans’ speeches, interviews, Project 2025, and so on, often to find themselves accused of a liberal bias that makes them exaggerate the dangers of a second Trump presidency.

The idea that truthful reporting based on verifiable evidence is a plot by “liberal media” to undermine conservative values had its start in 1951, when William F. Buckley Jr., fresh out of Yale, published God and Man at Yale: The Superstitions of “Academic Freedom.” Fervently opposed to the bipartisan liberal consensus that the federal government should regulate business, provide a basic social safety net, protect civil rights, and promote infrastructure, Buckley was incensed that voters continued to support such a system. He rejected the “superstition” that fact-based public debate would enable people to choose the best option from a wide range of ideas—a tradition based in the Enlightenment—because such debate had encouraged voters to choose the liberal consensus, which he considered socialism. Instead, he called for universities to exclude “bad” ideas like the Keynesian economics on which the liberal consensus was based, and instead promote Christianity and free enterprise.

Buckley soon began to publish his own magazine, the National Review, in which he promised to tell the “violated businessman’s side of the story,” but it was a confidential memorandum written in 1971 by lawyer Lewis M. Powell Jr. for a friend who chaired the education committee of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce that insisted the media had a liberal bias that must be balanced with a business perspective.

Warning that “the American economic system is under broad attack,” Powell worried not about “the Communists, New Leftists and other revolutionaries who would destroy the entire system.” They were, he wrote, a small minority. What he worried about were those coming from “perfectly respectable elements of society: from the college campus, the pulpit, the media, the intellectual and literary journals, the arts and sciences, and from politicians.”

Businessmen must “confront this problem as a primary responsibility of corporate management,” he wrote, launching a unified effort to defend American enterprise. Among the many plans Powell suggested for defending corporate America was keeping the media “under constant surveillance” to complain about “criticism of the enterprise system” and demand equal time.

President Richard Nixon appointed Powell to the Supreme Court, and when Nixon was forced to resign for his participation in the scheme to cover up the attempt to bug the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee in the Watergate Hotel before the 1972 election, he claimed he had to leave not because he had committed a crime, but because the “liberal” media had made it impossible for him to do his job. Six years later, Ronald Reagan, who was an early supporter of Buckley’s National Review, claimed the “liberal media” was biased against him when reporters accurately called out his exaggerations and misinformation during his 1980 campaign.

In 1987, Reagan’s appointees to the Federal Communications Commission abandoned the Fairness Doctrine that required media with a public license to present information honestly and fairly. Within a year, talk radio had gone national, with hosts like Rush Limbaugh electrifying listeners with his attacks on “liberals” and his warning that they were forcing “socialism” on the United States.

By 1996, when Australian-born media mogul Rupert Murdoch started the Fox News Channel (FNC), followers had come to believe that the news that came from a mainstream reporter was likely left-wing propaganda. FNC promised to restore fairness and balance to American political news. At the same time, the complaints of increasingly radicalized Republicans about the “liberal media” pushed mainstream media to wander from fact-based reality to give more and more time to the right-wing narrative. By 2018, “bothsidesing” had entered our vocabulary to mean “the media or public figures giving credence to the other side of a cause, action, or idea to seem fair or only for the sake of argument when the credibility of that side may be unmerited.”

In 2023, FNC had to pay almost $800 million to settle defamation claims made by Dominion Voting Systems after FNC hosts pushed the lie that Dominion machines had changed the outcome of the 2020 presidential election, and it has since tried to retreat from the more egregious parts of its false narrative.

News broke yesterday that Hunter Biden’s lawyer had threatened to sue FNC for “conspiracy and subsequent actions to defame Mr. Biden and paint him in a false light, the unlicensed commercial exploitation of his image, name, and likeness, and the unlawful publication of hacked intimate images of him.” Today, FNC quietly took down from its streaming service its six-part “mock trial” of Hunter Biden, as well as a video promoting the series.

Also today, Judge Juan Merchan, who is presiding over Trump’s criminal trial for election fraud, found Trump in contempt of court for attacking witnesses and jurors. Merchan also fined Trump $1,000 per offense, required him to take down the nine social media posts at the heart of the decision, and warned him that future violations could bring jail time. This afternoon, Trump’s team deleted the social media posts.

For the first time in history, a former U.S. president has been found in contempt of court. We know who he is, and today, Trump himself validated the truth of what observers who deal in facts have been saying about what a second Trump term would mean for the United States.

Reacting to the Time magazine piece, James Singer, the spokesperson for the Biden-Harris campaign, released a statement saying: “Not since the Civil War have freedom and democracy been under assault at home as they are today—because of Donald Trump. Trump is willing to throw away the very idea of America to put himself in power…. Trump is a danger to the Constitution and a threat to democracy.”

Tomorrow, May 1, is “Law Day,” established in 1958 by Republican president Dwight D. Eisenhower as a national recognition of the importance of the rule of law. In proclaiming the holiday today, Biden said: “America can and should be a Nation that defends democracy, protects our rights and freedoms, and pioneers a future of possibilities for all Americans. History and common sense show us that this can only come to pass in a democracy, and we must be its keepers.”

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maxattax · 6 months

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Look Away - Chapter 1

I wrote a fic for EctoImplosion (@ecto-implosion)! @darnwafflessideblog made an animatic and I wrote this fic based on that. You can find his animatic here! I'll be posting one chapter a day for 6 days. :)

---

Wes Weston peered at Danny Fenton’s locker through the lens of his Viewfinder Deluxe, waiting for the perfect opportunity to take a picture. The hallway was silent, save for the low buzz of the fluorescent lights. Class had ended ten minutes ago, and Danny was nowhere to be seen. Wes leaned on the wall and let out an impatient groan.

Danny always came to his locker after school, so there was no way he’d skip it the one day Wes was waiting for him, right? No, definitely not. He just had to be patient and then he’d be rewarded for his efforts. Today he might just be writing an article for the school newspaper, but one day he’d be a real investigative journalist, so he would have to get used to doing stakeouts like this.

Footsteps echoed down the hall, and Wes saw three figures heading in his direction. He strained to hear their faint voices.

“I’m just saying, the remaster of Doomed needs to change something significant, or it’s not gonna be worth playing. If they’re just upscaling the graphics, I’m not gonna bother buying it. Why split the userbase?”

They got close enough for Wes to recognize them. Danny clapped Tucker on the back. “Oh come on, Tuck, it’ll be fun. You know I’m saving my allowance to get it, whether it has new features or not. What about you, Sam?”

“It’s pretty important to know how it’s going to play. If nothing changes besides the graphics, it’s basically the same game. But… I preordered it anyway.” Sam shrugged. “New game means new players, which means more people to crush.” She laughed and stopped walking to lean back against one of the lockers.

Danny and Tucker stopped as well. “Yeah, I guess. Maybe I’ll get it,” he said, drawing out the maybe, “but we’ll see what pre-release reviewers think.”

Danny turned to face his locker. His head swiveled side to side, presumably looking to see if anyone was around. Wes was some distance away, but he ducked behind the corner anyway, just to be safe. He peeked back out and saw Danny reaching towards the locker with a book in his hand. Just as his wrist started to sink through the metal door, Wes pressed down on the shutter button. Click!

Danny’s head jerked in Wes’s direction. Wes spun back behind the corner.

“Did you guys hear something?” Danny asked.

“Nope,” his two friends said together.

“Hm. Okay.” Danny pulled his arm out of his locker, hand now empty. “Let’s get out of here and get something to eat.”

Wes waited for the sound of their chatter to fade before peering back around the corner. Nobody was in sight. Good. He relaxed against the wall and clicked through the viewfinder slides to find the newest picture. It was a perfectly framed photo of Danny with his arm phased through his locker. Fantastic.

He walked over to Danny’s locker and rapped his knuckles on the door. It was clearly solid metal. He knew he wasn’t crazy! Danny Fenton really did have ghost powers! But this wouldn’t be enough for the ignorant masses of Amity Park. He’d need more evidence.

—

A couple days later, Wes was no closer to finding concrete proof that Fenton was Phantom. He sat at the lunch table, food forgotten, tapping his pen against his open notebook. He had drawn a table with three columns, labeled “Fenton”, “Phantom”, and “Both”. In Fenton’s column he had written traits such as, “appears scared of ghosts”, “physically weak”, “soft spoken”, and “poor school performance.” Under Phantom, there was “physically strong”, “good at fighting”, “confident”, and “protective of humans”. And in the Both column he had “same appearance”, “access to Fenton tech”, “often seen at Casper High”, and “loves puns”.

He had to admit that his list of similarities was a bit lacking. It must have been some kind of act Fenton was putting on, pretending to be weak so nobody would know he had superpowers. He’d just need to get more photos. Maybe he could get a picture of him changing into his alter-ego, although he wasn’t entirely sure how that worked. Just another mystery to add to the pile.

Wes stole a glance at Danny’s table, hoping to see something suspicious. Danny turned his head and Wes quickly looked away, hoping he hadn’t noticed him staring. When he looked back, Danny was no longer there.

“Boo,” said a voice from behind Wes.

“Aah!” Wes nearly fell out of his seat. He slammed his notebook closed and turned around. “Oh. Hi. Danny, right?”

Danny laughed mirthlessly. “You know damn well who I am. Look, I’m gonna need you to stop following me around. It’s kinda creepy.”

Wes’s face blanched. “Uh, I’m not... I’m just taking pictures for the school newspaper.”

Danny put his hands on his hips. “Uh huh. Then why are you sneaking around?”

“Um. They want candid pictures?” Wes didn’t intend for it to come out as a question. Whoops.

Danny sighed. “Fine, whatever. Just stop taking pictures of me, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. I won’t take any more,” Wes lied. Shit, he was gonna have to be more careful. How do you hide from a guy with superpowers?

“Good.” Danny walked back to his table and started speaking animatedly to his friends. Wes wished he could be a fly on the wall to hear that conversation, but he knew better than to say that aloud. Everyone at school remembered when that genie ghost twisted people’s wishes, and he didn’t want to end up turning into a fly or something.

He was getting off track. Danny knew something was up. Wes had thought he was being subtle, but apparently not. He’d have to find sneakier ways to get pictures. A hidden camera would be easier, but for some reason, every camera Wes owned turned out blurry when taking pictures of ghosts. So he’d have to stick with the viewfinder. He wasn’t sure why it worked; maybe it was something about physical film strips? Regardless, subtle or not, this would have to do.

Wes would get his proof. Then he’d get the respect he deserved.

#danny phantom #ectoimplosion2023 #my writing #look away

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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 28 days

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LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

April 30, 2024

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

MAY 01, 2024

Cortellessa writes that Trump intends to establish “an imperial presidency that would reshape America and its role in the world.”

Trump’s own words prove the truth of what careful observers have been saying about his plans based on their examination of MAGA Republicans’ speeches, interviews, Project 2025, and so on, often to find themselves accused of a liberal bias that makes them exaggerate the dangers of a second Trump presidency.

President Richard Nixon appointed Powell to the Supreme Court, and when Nixon was forced to resign for his participation in the scheme to cover up the attempt to bug the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee in the Watergate Hotel before the 1972 election, he claimed he had to leave not because he had committed a crime, but because the “liberal” media had made it impossible for him to do his job. Six years later, Ronald Reagan, who was an early supporter of Buckley’s National Review, claimed the “liberal media�� was biased against him when reporters accurately called out his exaggerations and misinformation during his 1980 campaign.

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

#Eric Cortellessa #Time Magazine #TFG #MAGA extremism #contempt of court #rule of law #history #William F. Buckley Jr.#Heather Cox Richardson #Letters from An American #democracy #election 2024

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hyperray · 5 months

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Hazbin Hotel episode 1 Review

Now that the first two episodes have been released, I intend to make a review post pointing out what I find negative and positive about them. Now, truth be told, I'm kinda expecting the show to flip because of how Viv is mismaneging the whole thing with the prodution to her socials, but I don't want to be biased and have my perspective completely be compromised by my dissapointment and rage, so I hope this review will shine a new perspective on the episodes for critics like me to enjoy them more, and by the time of this writing I haven't watched episode two yet so to not base my judgement of future context, but I'll bring up context from past episodes to future ones, let's begin. Negatives: -Sooo, does God exist, or are there just these Elders who I'm assuming are the equivalent of archangels? Even if this is a book with left out parts Charlie might be reading, I don't see why discluding God from the story would change anything, though I have a theory on that later. -In the shot where the sad Lucifer looks at the angels surrounding Earth only Sera has her own stand out design. I think this implies that we won't be given focus on any other angels of her level besides Emily, so that's a bummer. -"Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this, Adam demanded control and Lilith refused to submit to his will" Okay so I'm getting this; If Lilith is fabricating a lot through this book, or maybe written by someone else who isn't including the 'whole' story, then Lilith might have been the victim of this situation and Adam is a typical male bigot and the female the hero against the male's tyranny and she did nothing wrong, which is tiring to accept. -If Lucifer did give Eve the apple of knowlege purely out of good will, then he and Lilith are dumb. Surely he must've forseen the consequences of what Heaven might do to him and Lilith for this rebellion as well the dangerous road humanity would take from that point, right? -Also, Lucifer isn't an angel the level of Michael here, he is just some random middling angel? Well that makes it all really dissapointing. He is supposed to be the peak of Hell's might, and if he is that weak by default then he and Hell shouldn't be that of a threat, logically, but also they'll likely be a threat which doesn't make much sense. He is much weaker than the higher up angels yet somehow accumilated power to rival them, through what? Aren't Heaven's and Hell's magic basically the only source of power anyone can siphon from in this universe, or is there another power system to draw from? -"Never allowed to see the good from humanity" okay that's highly unbelievable. Lower demons can access the human realm, so wouldn't he at least hear or see some recordings about what humanity has achieved? And it's extremely hypocritical since Hell and it's demons largely contribute to the human's pain and suffering, which fuels my willingness to believe this story isn't entirely written truthful.

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dreamweaversfavsandthoughs · 6 months

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Rick and Morty S7 Ep. 8: Rise of the Numbericons: The Movie

(I do care!)

Don’t forget to add spoilers to the equation

My Favs

Reminiscent of HarmonTown

I use to listen to HarmonTown back when Dan Harmon was still doing that show and I felt this episode was the most HarmonTown-esqe episode they have even done. It was written by HarmonTown regular Rob Schrab and had Dan Harmon and Brandon Johnson as basically the two leads of the episode and I felt I was listening to that podcast once again.

It broke the formula the hardest out of any episode that has been done

Mainly because Rick didn’t show up at all. I guess he’s still so depressed he couldn’t be bothered. I appreciate when the show is able to take a wild swing like that and having Rick present would have taken away from what they were trying to accomplish with Mr. Goldenfold

Mr. Goldenfold’s character was fleshed out

Mr. Goldenfold has always been the butt of the joke so it was a nice change of pace to show him as someone who is passionate about his subject matter and cares about teaching. I think the episode could have done more but it was nice seeing the character taken somewhat seriously.

Math/Letter puns

This episode was chock full of corny, sometimes clever math and letter puns and it was kinda fun trying to hunt them all. A few of my favorites include:

Bracket shield

All Type strikers attack. I want his serifs.

Subtract Water-T to life and carry the one to me

Helvetica Light speed

Threesus Christ

E-10

“I’m a prime number and I’m only divisible by myself”

“And my dick is magma but we’ll figure it out.”

Not My Fav

Morty’s role in the episode

I like seeing Morty in any episode I can get him. I really do, but Morty being in this episode felt like an executive saying, “We can’t have both Rick and Morty not be in an episode that’s a bridge too far. Just find something for Morty to do and call it a day.” As others have pointed out, you could take him out of the episode and nothing would be affected. I wish more had been done to justify him being there other than to commentate.

I’m starting to worry that the show is relying too much on older characters/older concepts

I’m not necessarily opposed to older one-off characters coming back, fleshing out old stories, or explore old places, but if done too much it can start to feel like a crutch. I feel now as we approach the end of season 7 that they might be creeping into the territory of being over reliant on old material. It might be time to start course correcting for that.

My Thoughts

I might be a bit of an outlier on this one but…I kinda enjoyed this episode. I mentioned earlier that this episode felt the most HarmonTown-esqe of any episode they’ve ever done--and I really missed that podcast. This episode seemed like something that they would have improvised or joked during an episode of that show. Also, I had read a couple reviews before the episode aired so I already knew ahead of time that Rick wasn’t going to be in it and that the episode really had nothing to do with the lore or developing the family so I went into the episode not expecting that and I had fun with it.

This episode was a love letter to schlocky 80’s action movies that seem serious on the surface but are, at their core, just dumb, corny fun. I think not having Rick in the episode was a good call because he would’ve just been a cynical voice to an episode that didn’t need any cynicism. Speaking of Rick’s absence, when I heard that he wasn’t going to be in the episode and that Water-T and Mr. Goldenfold were the main focus I expected that the episode would be a bit divisive among the fan base and they did not disappoint. It’s exhausting being in this fandom.

This episode is certainly one of the weaker episodes this season I won’t dispute that but I think a weaker episode from this season is leagues better than that sperm episode ( or some of the weaker episodes from seasons 4 and 5) and I will die on that hill. There was some clever moments, like the primitive googas being reminiscent of early pictographs and the relationship between math and music with Mr. Goldenfold teaching Ice-T about time signatures. That connection makes the logic of Mr. Goldenfold’s and Ice-T’s friendship and falling out make sense, albeit, in a deeply silly way. The writer clearly loves 80’s action movies and used the characters and settings of Rick and Morty to accomplish his own version and I’m here for it.

#rick and morty #rick and morty season 7 #rnm #rick and morty spoilers #rnm spoilers #rnm season 7 #rise of the numbericons: the movie

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blysse-and-blunder · 17 days

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in lieu of a second chance

10:30pm, sunday, may 12, 2024

wow oh man i have forgotten how to do this!! but it's spring, it's the end of the term, it's the start of a new season and a new burst of creativity and, perhaps, a different routine-- so let's try again.

reading audio-books and ebooks have been my absolute constant companions all winter, but shout-out to the stack of paperbacks on my bedside table, which i am slowly but surely working through. finished italo calvino's if on a winter's night a traveler (a loan from @hematiterings), part of my now intentional quest to read calvino's whole oeuvre, and basically loved it. the whole 'first chapters of various novels you'll never get the rest of' was such a good way to showcase a bunch of cliches from, like, mid-century literary fiction. very meta, and very fun. the connective frame narrative, in second person, was a little more of a stretch (again, very mid-century literary self-referential/ironic/whatever, which unfortunately i did find amusing)-- and calvino's female characters are not great, except for in the nonexistent knight's narrator who i loved)-- but there was a section addressed to a female reader which did, in fact, feel like it read me for absolute filth. other finished reads from the last few months which i will mention here briefly: the angel of the crows, katherine addison; our wives under the sea, julia armfield; the bell in the fog, lev ac rosen; the nutmeg's curse, amitav ghosh; the ruin of kings, jenn lyons.

listening this would have been different if i'd written this last week, but have y'all heard beyonce's album cowboy carter?! i know i'm a few months late but i actually feel like i'm years late, like i haven't responded to a beyonce album this strongly maybe ever. i love the covers, i love the vocal layering and harmonies, i love the samples from old timey radio and everything familiar and texas and country about it...i keep thinking i have a favorite track, but genuinely i like listening to this one all the way through, as a cohesive album, as a work in itself. have a pitchfork review. pull quote:

"On Cowboy Carter, Club Renaissance is swapped out for KNTRY Radio Texas, an AM station hosted by an ever-hazy Willie Nelson. Here she re-contextualizes roots music—Americana, folk, country—for a contemporary moment, reminding listeners that Black artists were the genesis of these forms and never stopped playing them, despite what Hollywood or Nashville might have on offer....Despite drawing from the kitsch and fun of ’70s and ’80s country music, Cowboy Carter has an air of melancholy to it, a quality that reverberates through the scores of songs in minor keys about loneliness on the range.

youtube

^^ this is a playlist of the whole album on youtube, if you're into that. AMERIICAN REQUIEM, the opening track, is what hooked me-- i was in from the opening notes. but TEXAS HOLD EM' is also great. fuck yeah, rhiannon giddens.

watching so in addition to rewatching the entire sixth season of dropout's game changer today, last week we finished a truly wild show out of netflix italy: la legge di lidia poët / the law according to lidia poët, which is a historical mystery-romance like only netflix can make. is it bridgerton but for ninteenth century italian lawyers? is it the girlbossification of an actually interesting historical figure? yes, maybe, but everyone is very attractive and the costumes are bonkers in a satisfying way. she has insect themed jewellery, rides a bike, has a lot of sex, finds a decent relationship with her brother and, god help me, i do want a second season.

featuring, hey isn't that pasquale from my brilliant friend? and wow, they probably think this song choice is really cool but it is so on the nose in english it is almost distracting.

playing hollow knight! hollow knight. hollow knight. it's become a problem, actually, since i have quite literally turned my evening yoga time into gamer time, and would you believe, i am less flexible and have higher anxiety levels lmaoo. but i'm getting so powerful i don't care. i probably can't promise myself to beat this game any time soon, and should stop thinking i can, but look! two dreamers down?!

making patched the inner thighs of some jeans-- they will probably remain weekend pants, but they're further from dead than they were. similarly, clumsily darned a hole in my sweater. baked a caffeinated cake courtesy of a b. dylan hollis video (coffee loaf from 1959) . glued a wooden salad tong back together and i feel like the seams are actually quite subtle.

(this wood glue claims to be food safe after curing, pray for me etc etc).

working on ooof. i am done teaching but still owe two-three students emails. i survived my committee meeting but have done nothing to follow the schedule of deadlines we set me, despite being so excited to back on may 2 / so energized to do All the Things back on april 26. i have an article to prep to submit! a chapter to finish tweaking (reworking? reframing? changing from the ground up? lololololol)! not to mention a newsletter to draft and copy edits (almost done) to send back on a friend's article! but i can't stop playing hollow knight in all my free time, and really, what's more important here.

#HELLO #i return at last #seems like every other ilcb contains some form of 'sorry it's been so long ' / 'back again at last!' but it's true #ilcb #in lieu of a commonplace book #contains maybe my broadest / most random assortment of topics but not as long as many of these posts #starting again with a lower wordcount / less demanding offering

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recurring-polynya · 10 months

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I'm on vacation, so here is a random grab-bag of Soul Society thoughts I had while staring into the sea today (this is mostly for @bleachbleachbleach but you can read it too)

One of my favorite conceits of B3's writing (I feel like things that appear in fanfiction are sort promoted from headcanons but I don't have a good word for it) is the notion that Rukongai has its own magic that is fundamentally different and, in fact, somewhat opposed to shinigami magic. This first shows up in Afar, Afar, where Momo loses her ability to see spirits in Junrinan (and perhaps even her memory that such a thing exists). There was also a notion of it in REVERSE THE BONE (the best Weird Rukongai fic ever written) about the train, which already exists in a sort of quantum state where it sometimes exists both forward and backward in time, but also that the journey depends on the passengers. There's a quote at the beginning, but nonetheless, has completely rewired my brain (it has been over a month, and I am still thinking about it):

Hisagi does not find this mollifying. “Yeah, but I don’t even think Captain Kuchiki gets the same train as the rest of us. Have you ever tried to use his restaurant reviews? Because I always print these things, and they sound great, then I go. And then they’ll look at me like—Well. It’s like I’m not even at the same restaurant. But hey, at least you’ll get to see a lot, right? I’ve heard East Rukongai these days is… fine!”

Within the context of the story, this is just hyperbole. Of course Byakuya experiences things differently, he's incredibly rich and powerful, etc, etc, but the thing that sticks in my head about this is that Byakuya is fundamentally different from Hisagi, and also Hitsugaya and Hinamori, who are the protagonists of this piece, because he is a creature of Soul Society and they are not.

The Rukon is a place for ghosts. For beings that lived a life on Earth and died. It is an afterlife. A thing I find incredibly interesting is that nearly all the Rukon-hailing shinigami we know of died as children. Additionally, they are all Really Good at being shinigami--captains and vice-captains, although this is a function of Bleach being a story about the more powerful members of Soul Society. Anyway, I think this is not a coincidence.

Two things that are true about Bleach are that: a) liminal things, hybrid things, things that exist at the boundaries of two other things, tend to be more powerful b) power is also achieved through transformation

It makes 100% sense to me that a child ghost has more potential to become in Soul Society. We also know that aging is non-linear, and that age changes tend to come in concert with increases in power. All of this feels very consistent and right to me.

In particular, consider Rukia, who died as a baby (and we don't know this for sure, but her sister, who died as an older child or teen did not seem to have the same potential). She was human, but only got to live a small fraction of the life she could have, and instead, went to Soul Society, and became such a creature of Soul Society, that she not only achieved bankai, but trained in the Royal Realm, a thing that few other shinigami get to do.

This reminded me of a line from my own fanfic, Hold On, Hold On, where I was trying to make sense of the "lieutenant is equivalent of nobility" thing (through the convenient mouthpieces of Kira and Hinamori):

“High ranking shinigami are basically considered to be nobility,” Izuru explains. “Or close enough for most purposes.” “The argument goes,” Momo elaborates, in a way that she knows will resonate with Renji, “that the reason nobles are noble is because their souls are so pure and strong, right? So how else can you explain the captains that come from Rukongai? You can’t, so you have to act like they’re noble, too, right? Noble logic.”

And while I don't think I'm wrong, what if there's more to it? What if there is something that is fundamental to one's nature that nobles and powerful shinigami have in common, something that also corresponds to the nature of the Seireitei.

There's one other thing that I think they may have in common, and that's the ability to reproduce. Fanon is split on this topic, but I've always been of the mind that having babies in Soul Society is something only people with strong spiritual energy are able to do. So, in that sense, if noble people see themselves as defined by having been born in the Soul Society, of being creatures who have never lived, it's not exactly the same, but a Rukongai wandering soul who gains the ability to reproduce is certainly a step closer, no?

(Is this the part where I talk about Soul Society nobility and their parallels to faeries, with their low birthrate and stealing babies and people of talent to join their underground magical kingdom?)

An interesting ramification of all of this, is that you've got Rukia and Renji, who represent one of the most successful cases of dead souls acclimating to Soul Society and reaching the highest echelons of power, but I strongly suspect that there are still some fundamentally Rukon things about them-- things they see, things they feel, things they remember. What makes this extra cool to me is the fact that they hang out with Byakuya, the product of dozens of generations of Soul Society lineage. In fact, the catalyst for all of this thinking was me thinking about Byakuya having an instinctive distrust of the sea, whereas Rukia and Renji and Hisana all love it. Now, I am generally not very interested in Ichika, but I am interested in the fact that she is something different than her parents. That on some level she has more in common with Byakuya. I mean, is this the origin stories for Soul Society's noble clans in the first place? Some souls made themselves powerful enough to make more of themselves?? That is a pretty interesting thought to me, not that I've come up with anything interesting to do with it. It's like, what if you were a changeling, and you got adopted by the king of the faeries and you had a baby with another human changeling, but your baby was a faery? (Polynya, this was the plot of Books of Magic. Kinda sorta. You have somehow achieved your life goal of six degrees of John Constantine-ing Tim Hunter and Kuchiki Rukia and it was entirely by accident.)

Anyway, that was my complete quota of interesting Ichika thoughts for today (I still think it would have been cooler if they got to conceive a baby in the Royal Realm but no one asked me).

The more interesting direction that these thoughts took goes back to B3's fic, in the sense of: do the nobles avoid the Rukon? What is it that they don't like about it? The implication is always just basically that it's poor and not as nice as the Seireitei, but what if there are things that are in opposition to the law and order that people like Yamamoto have imposed on the controlled area inside the city walls. Even the Shiba, the infamous rebel outcasts only live in District 1.

Consider Ukitake's backstory--his noble family were so desperate to save their sick child that they went out to District 76 and made a deal with a god/a piece of the Soul King (is there a difference? does it matter?), a thing which gave Ukitake the capability to become a vessel for a god. I feel like Mimihagi wouldn't/couldn't have made that deal with an ordinary soul. This happened a super long time ago and I bet there have been all kinds of cautionary tales, etc, to discourage this kind of behavior today. (Which also ties a little into Yhwach's "the Gotei used to be better, you suck now" comment)

I'm not really converging on any sort of conclusion, here, it's just sort of interesting to me. The Rukongai sort of represents wild lawlessness, I think, the loss of rules and sense. The TYBW is all about how the order of Soul Society (and Hueco Mundo and the Living World) is a thing that was invented for and by the shinigami for their own benefit, and I think they don't even really have control of their entire realm, just the central bit.

There's a constant fanon outcry of "why do the shinigami neglect Rukongai?" and it's always because "Soul Society sucks" and "Central 46 is dicks" etc, but I think it's interesting to think about the shinigami as a social order that truly has limited power, and that there is a lot of shit in the Rukon that is more than is dreamt of in their philosophy, if you get my drift, whether it's werewolf clans or trains that don't obey the laws of time and space. It's like the way in a horror movie, the cop or the army dude gets taken down by the monster in the woods who is eventually defeated by a teen or something. Shinigami are very powerful when it comes to dealing with the interface between the World of the Living and their personal World of the Dead, but they are less well equipped to deal with the things in their own backyard.

Regretfully, none of this cohered in my head into anything that I could spin into a good story (I'm not sure they even cohered into this essay), but maybe it will roll around in my head long enough to grow a pearl, who knows?

#bleach worldbuilding #this is so long i am sorry this is mostly nonsense #the beach was very beautiful today!

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crescentcampbell · 26 days

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Wouldn't You Like to Know, Ch. 11

Eleven

It had been nearly a week since Penelope had seen Colin. She tried hard not to think about it, except that she had seen pictures and videos of him out with other women. Dancing in night clubs. Flirting. Posing for pictures with fans. As she sat there doom scrolling on Instagram, she couldn’t help but realize she was being ridiculous. They weren’t even in a relationship. Colin had basically said she should be his workplace booty call. Meanwhile, Penelope had ignored calls and texts from David Debling, another old friend of hers that had actually stayed in her life.

David was a journalist. He wrote at The New York Times and worked with Eloise. He had been the one to get Penelope’s book passed onto her when Penelope hadn’t been brave enough to. He had been one of the few people that had stuck around when her father had been arrested.

He had also texted her that morning and asked her to go to coffee. Something they’d been trying to plan for the past month now that she kept on putting off because she had been on deadline for the last, final installment of The Gossip book series. She had had trouble writing it.

This morning though, after seeing yet another post of Colin out with women, she decided she was going to call David. She had let herself be fooled by Colin for the last time. She was one of the richest writers in the world, damn it. She wasn’t a simpering, teenage girl that was obsessed with him. If Colin Bridgerton actually wanted her, he could come and get her. But she wouldn’t be waiting.

She called David.

He answered on the first ring. “Penelope? Is that you?”

Penelope smiled. “Hi! Um, good morning.”

“Good morning to you too---are you mad at me?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m not mad at you. I’ve been busy. I was working on a deadline for the last book.”

“Oooh----did you finally get it written, Lulu Rochester?”

She blushed. He was also one of the few people who knew her real identity. “You know I don’t talk about my work. As far as everyone knows, Lulu Rochester is currently vacationing somewhere with a beach view to do some research for the final installment of the series.”

David chuckled. He had a deep laugh, and she had always like the sound of that. Penelope had dated on and off, but she had been careful with David because he was one of her few friends. She hadn’t wanted to lose him by dating him only to break his heart. If that was even what would happen…

“Right,” said David, “that’s code for you still have writer’s block. You know what could help you with your writer’s block?”

Penelope found herself blushing even though he wasn’t in the room with her. She always blushed. Why was that? “What exactly did you have in mind, Debling?”

“How about a night out on the town? I can take you to go see Hadestown for the millionth time, and we’ll have dinner. I’m supposed to review it anyway for a Broadway retrospective I’m doing.”

“Broadway retrospective? That’s not very politically. Isn’t that what you normally write?”

“Yes, but our features editor is currently on bedrest because she’s pregnant, so I’m helping pick up the slack. Come on, Penelope. I thought you were finally coming around to the idea of us. I saw the pictures of you and Bridgerton----what happened?”

Penelope sighed. “Nothing happened. He’s starring in the movie version of The Gossip. He was there to drop off some paperwork.”

“Did you tell him about Lulu?”

Penelope played with one of her red curls. “No, I didn’t. That would mean him finding out that Wallflowers was inspired by him and he’d know every, dirty thought I had ever had.

David laughed. “Wouldn’t that be a relief, though?”

She shook her head. “Writing about the Bridgerton’s was what made me lose their friendship in the first place.”

“Pen, there are plenty, more interesting people in this life than the Bridgerton’s. You spend your whole life in that little brownstone of yours. You need to get out and meet people besides them. You’re in New York. One of the most interesting cities on the planet. Let me take you out and really introduce you to the city.”

Penelope smiled. That was why she liked being David’s friend. He always had a way of getting her out of a funk. “You know what? Hell yeah! Let’s do that. I could use some fun and thanks to the payday I got, I won’t have to worry about being a broke, deadweight.”

“Good. Hadestown, this Friday. And then we’ll do dinner and drinks before, yeah?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“You’re going to start living your life, Penelope. You’ll make it a beautiful one. I’m sure. Now, go write your damn book. You’ve got it in you. Besides, I already know that the movie is going to be wildly successful even if it does have Colin Bridgerton in it. The studio is going to be clamoring to adapt the whole series, and you will be rolling in the dough.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, really. Get to work, Lulu Rochester.”

Penelope let out a little, nervous laugh. “Alright. Go to work. I’m sure you’ve got human interest pieces on animals or great grandparents to write.”

“Yes, I have one on a duck in Central Park.”

“Will you take pictures and send them to me?”

“Of course I will. I know how much you love them.”

“Right. See you this weekend.”

“See you.”

The call ended. It was not the weekend plans that she had hoped for, but it was something. David at least knew exactly what he wanted. Unlike Colin Bridgerton, who seemed to know absolutely nothing, although Penelope had once thought that he hung the moon. She was going to have to realize that he didn’t and she could do that herself.

#bridgerton #bridgerton fanfic #bridgerton fanfiction #polin #polin fanfic #polin fanfiction

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woodchipp · 13 days

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I just wanted to say I love your Omori criticism posts. People made me believe I was crazy for not immediately loving Omori and it's characters. At no point during the game did I cry, and by the time I got to Sweetheart's Castle, I mentally checked out because it was so dreadfully boring. I've already been shown way earlier that the HeadSpace segments don't matter so why are we wasting time on what is basically filler? Well, I do know why actually. It's because Omocat said she wanted the game to be 20 hours long, but long does not equal good. I'd appreciate it more if she had just told the story she wanted to tell without the hours of pointless fluff scenes. But when I told people I was going to quit the game halfway through because I found it boring, they said "Trust me, it gets better." Then when I tell them I played the rest of the game and still didn't like it because I found the characters flat or poorly written and thought the plot twist brought down an already poor story, their response changed to "Don't like, don't play." So do you want me to sit through something I already don't like based on the promise that "It gets better" or do you not want me to play it at all? Which one is it?

I'm very glad to hear my points resonated with you 💖

People made me believe I was crazy for not immediately loving Omori and it's characters.

Yeah, I can relate. At one point, seeing all the positive reviews and the fans gushing about the game made me feel like I was insane lol. I was just like "guys. guys what do you even see in this game"

(Interesting how most - if not all - of the aforementioned reviews and fans only ever cite the story's emotional impact as proof it's excellent without much further elaboration.)

I'd appreciate it more if she had just told the story she wanted to tell without the hours of pointless fluff scenes.

To be blunt, I don't even know what story Omocat wanted to tell. The game undermines any sort of message one could possibly take away from it. It even undermines its anti-escapism message .

I tend to call the story an "unrevised first draft", and considering how much of an incoherent mess it is, I think there's a grain of truth to it.

But when I told people I was going to quit the game halfway through because I found it boring, they said "Trust me, it gets better." Then when I tell them I played the rest of the game and still didn't like it because I found the characters flat or poorly written and thought the plot twist brought down an already poor story, their response changed to "Don't like, don't play." So do you want me to sit through something I already don't like based on the promise that "It gets better" or do you not want me to play it at all? Which one is it?

I find it amusing how these people never stop to consider that maybe their favorite work may not be as Peak as they choose to believe. The complainer has to be depicted as the problem every single time. And then they accuse you of being unwilling to consider the perspectives of other people.

It's rather telling, really.

#omori #omori game

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eighthdoctor · 9 months

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I've never done any kind of proper historical studies -- everything I've learned is from high school, from reading things on wikipedia, from history podcasts, and more rarely (because I rarely have the patience to read) from books. So I... hardly know anything about specifics. The kind of intimate knowledge of the inner workings of empires and peoples that a college educated student would have.

This might sound odd but... it's a bit reassuring to me that even someone who's spent years studying those two specific subjects doesn't feel comfortable saying for certain what any individual person, or group of people may have been experiencing at any given time. That the environment people lived in was so *vastly* different that one can only have clues as to what people felt, how they experienced the world.

All that being said, and I do apologize if this is another too-vague or too-broad question -- do you feel as though your college studies have changed the way you relate to the past?

So I wanna unpack some of this a little bit, because you're closing off some avenues I don't think you need to close off.

College students do learn about specifics, but the thing that's really being taught in college is how to think and learn. Skills, not facts. Part of what made that conversation with the history majors so memorable is that it highlighted how much is different between majors in that regard.

Sociology vs psych might be a valuable example here: Rule of thumb, sociology teaches you to approach issues on a population level, groups of people; psychology teaches you to approach issues on the individual level. There's very few areas where either is 100% right to the exclusion of the other, but it's useful to know which lens (a) you and (b) your source is using, if you're going to be reading about, e.g., the causes of poor academic performance in American boys. Psych says this is due to a rise in ADHD; socio says our classrooms aren't suitable for...anyone, but especially people who have never had to sit still and be quiet (ie, boys).

WHAT you learn in college is HOW to learn. (It's also, crucially, a period where 1, you very often have nothing else to do BUT learn and 2, you are paying a gazillion dollars for the privilege of learning, so you're heavily incentivized to actually do it. Free activities are easier to stop doing than ones you paid to do.)

It's how to navigate databases, how to read articles (peer reviewed or otherwise), which resources to trust, what it MEANS to trust a resource, how to read with different lenses, how to find information at all, what sorts of conclusions are reasonable or specious to draw from that information (aka: how flimsy can your argument be before your professor will tell you to find more evidence), when to apply certain techniques...

* Enormous caveat: if your professors were any good. Some of them aren't. Many of them aren't. If your professors universally suck, you'll come out with a meaningless degree and student debt, which is not ideal.

But theoretically, at least, the purpose of 21st century higher ed is to teach you how to learn.

Then you go apply it.

All of which is to say: The granular factoids I have on call about 15th and 16th century explorers did not come from college; I didn't take a single class on that era. They came from books and articles and online resources. College taught me how to evaluate those books (although common sense plays a huge role here) but the rest of it was self driven.

Here's the other thing: None of that knowledge is paywalled.

While the decline of Google makes finding some of these resources harder, I highly, highly recommend just searching things like "how to judge a history source" and "basic resources for social history" (a guess based on your focus on 'inner workings of empires and peoples'). Then read a bunch of links (please first filter for obviously AI written pages!).

THEN ask yourself some questions: Where did those links disagree? Are there areas they all agreed on? Was there something that 8 pages agreed on but 2 did not? If it seems like a key area, go check who's written & hosting those links, and consider what they might (or might not) know about the field. (If r/askhistorians and PragerU disagree on a definition, you can bet which one I'm listening to.)

After reading a bunch of pages, you probably have MORE search terms and MORE questions. Repeat. Repeat.

I just mentioned r/askhistorians: For this sort of thing, I would read anything with the Monday Methods flair. Start here. That page was last updated 5 years ago but it DOES link to 3 years of mostly weekly posts on how historians think. 100% free. No college tuition required.

Podcasts are great resources. r/askhistorians is fucking invaluable. I would murder for the r/askhistorians modteam, no questions asked.

Reading is a learnable skill! Reading history books is very learnable! I stopped reading print material for 2 years, and when I was getting back into it, I set myself an alarm. 15 minutes a day in the evening when I had nothing else going on. Start with fiction if you're out of the habit, YA would be my recommendation, then start expanding.

There ARE history books with audio versions out there and you can check your library system for those; I don't vibe with audiobooks so can't provide any specifics, but I know they exist. Most history books won't have recordings, though--what you may be able to do if you check out or purchase a digital version is use a text-to-speech program or screenreader to read it to you. This obviously has some drawbacks :P But it's an option!

So: Did my degrees affect how I interact with history? Yeah. I'm not discarding the impact of my education, I had some really phenomenal classics teachers. But they're not the only way to get that result. There are other routes to the same destination.

#asks for ts #jennifermoriarta #ask more questions about who is writing this and why!#history #long post for ts

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envyq00 · 1 year

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Your blorbos, tell me about them

Ok so here's something that's been eating at my brain that maybe you guys can actually help me out with. It's been causing me to rethink some things about my Stanley Parable AU.

So, I've been questioning whether or not the Narrator is aware of 432's existence. To be more specific, I have been debating whether or not he knows the specifics of 432's story in the office and their experimentation.

TSPUD spoilers below!!

It's obvious that he doesn't know about the Timekeeper/432 becoming the fabric of the universe.

After the epilogue, when you visit the broken achievement that's been fixed by 432/the Timekeeper, Narrator freaks out, possibly bc he doesn't like the idea of being watched by some other force that he doesn't know about and is potentially stronger than he is.

And there's the theory about TK being the one who makes the door disappear during the Skip Button ending to be able to talk to Stanley alone. During the ending, Narrator has no idea what happened to the door nor how to create one. Which is pretty odd considering that we see him change the scenery before our very eyes. So maybe, something is keeping both Stanley and him inside.

Interestingly enough, another instance of Narrator being trapped in a room and separated from Stanley or the Player are the Real Person/Not Stanley ending and the Escape Pod ending. During both endings, there are some easter eggs alluding to 432 (You can also see 432's desk repeatedly while climbing the stairs to the escape pod. And the boxes of pencil sharpeners mailed to 432 in the docking bay disappear after you watch the instructional video in the Real Person ending.)

However, here's the thing.

Employee 432 is listed in the instruction manual for the IndieBox version of the Stanley Parable as a character but has no information. The Instruction Manual is written by the Narrator, right? So, he might not know that 432 became the Timekeeper but does he know about 432 as a character within The Story? Did he omit their information on purpose? Or did they insert themselves in the manual?

(Part of me doesn't think the latter is true bc according to Davey Wreden in a livestream, the team didn't intend for 432 and the Settings Person to be the same until way later into development. And the IndieBox version of TSP came out years before TSPUD was in development. And by that logic, maybe the idea that 432 is behind some of the original endings might not be onto anything either. Not sure.)

Idk. After doing some character writing for 432 myself, it definitely seems like they're a prime candidate to go through the story that Stanley is going through. Being experimented on, finding out that they're part of a sinister plot and maybe fighting to take it down.

I already planned to explore this in my AU but like what if, legit, 432 was Narrator's rough draft of Stanley? But he couldn't stand that they actually make meaningful choices for themselves? What if, unlike Stanley, they can speak? And the voice receiver in the Real Person ending is a remnant of that earlier draft of The Story?

This paper in particular says that 432 constantly questions authority or being told to do the most basic tasks. So maybe this caused them to have brushes against the Narrator?

Another recurring theme in this game that I've noticed is that the things that the Narrator creates often end up turning against him or just displease him. Specifically, the Adventure Line™ and the Skip Button come to mind. (It's also interesting to note how the Adventure Line™ leads the player/Stanley through the Employee 432 peer review hall sometimes during the Confusion ending, another ending where the Narrator loses control over the situation but not necessarily entirely bc of Stanley or the Player.) Maybe this is the case with 432 as well? Maybe, like with Stanley, the Narrator created 432 because he was lonely but they, with the will of their own, walked out on him? So he created a more obedient character that wouldn't leave him alone?

(However again, the reference to the original Half Life Mod in the Ultra Deluxe Games (Firewatch/Rocket League) Ending confuses me cuz the door is labeled 427 and everything GAHHH-)

Anyway, I just rambled for a long while but I sincerely want to hear what you guys think about this.

Maybe I'm just going in too deep with this and maybe the endings aren't connected at all and it's just a silly little game with different silly little endings. Maybe the angle I'm seeing everything at is skewed. I just wanna get some other perspectives on this.

In any case, it doesn't really change too much of my AU, maybe, but it does decide whether or not I want a scene in which 432 calls out the Narrator for writing them a tragic backstory for the sake of "character development".

#envy asks #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe

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nebmia · 2 months

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Reviewing every rpg book on my shelf: 7, Wolves of God

Wolves of God by Kevin Crawford is a game about adventuring in early anglo-saxon england and its prime virtue is in how thoroughly (and for the most part accurately) it develops that time period and attempts to place players in the outlook of those people. I happen to have a particular love for the early middle ages and for the anglo-saxons in particular, which places me directly in the target demographic for this game, and as far as I am concerned it delivers.

Mechanically Wolves of God is built on the same fundamental system as Kevin Crawfords other ‘without number’ games: So an osr type game with a greater than usual quantity of character build options and a particular focus on sandbox play.

The first thing you notice when you read the book is the framing device. The book is treated as if it was a manuscript written by a monk in 710AD (the rather opinionated Brother Cornix) documenting anglo-saxon gaming practice that has been unearthed and edited by Kevin Crawford. This lends the whole book a very unique and (to me) entertaining voice. For illustration here is a section from character creation:

The rules in these pages will show you how to make your bold adventurer, but do not be a thrall to man-marked ink on pale parchment. If your band of gamesmen has their own thought to the right way to manage a matter, then let it be done as you and your companions think best. Listen, then, and I will tell you how to make an English hero. From the first strong sinews of the mortal body to the crown of reason and high ambition, you will learn what makes a mighty champion of our people.

The styling as a medieval manuscript does, however, mean that many standard features of modern layout are absent, such as bullet points being replaced by paragraphs starting ‘primus’, ‘secundus’, ‘Tertius’, etc and that overall the text is much wordier than most contemporary rpgs. However, there are footnotes and sidebars from ‘the editor’ which summarise important rules or discuss some of Brother Cornix’s biases, and I find that, overall, the writing style is worth it for the level of immersion in the culture that it provides.

There are three classes you can use to create your ‘English Hero’ (plus an option for multiclassing): the warrior, the saint, and the galdorman. These are broadly analogous to the original D&D fighting man, cleric, magic user line up but each has twists to place it in the setting. The big point is that each classes has a set of ‘glories’ and ‘shames, which determine how they gain (or lose!) xp. These do a lot to place your character within the outlook and value system of the early middle ages. For instance the saints shames tie them to follow the law of the church, while a warriors shames relate to oath breaking or betraying your lord or friends. An interesting feature is that, while warriors or galdormen can escape shame if no one knows what they did, a saint always suffers the penalty as ‘God knows all things.’

Which is a good segue for talking about christianity and how deeply enmeshed it is in the setting. The book spends almost as many pages detailing the essentials of early medieval christianity as it does describing the rules for combat, and then goes on to spend twice as many pages describing monasteries and giving rules for generating them. Basically, religion was really important then and also quite unlike how we as modern people understand it.

Among the other things that were important to people then but unfamiliar to a modern audience are: Cattle Raids, Feasting etiquette, a gift economy, and the weight placed on fate. All of which Wolves of god sets out rules and procedures to guide you though. Outside of what is rendered in the rules to book also lays out an expansive description of anglo-saxon england covering the legal system, customs, farming practice, history and the main kingdoms. In contrast to games (D&D) where you play as essentially modern people in an essentially modern world wrapped in medieval aesthetics, Wolves of God is a game where you simply must inhabit the alien world that is the past.

Apart from the areas where is does deviate from history, which is primarily in the transformation of old roman ruins into portals to pocket dimensions (or ‘arxes’) created with ancient roman magic into which the romano-british retreated. What with it being, at its root, a dungeon crawling game I can see why there was a need to add magical dungeons and a treatment of roman ruins is definetly appropriate as the remnants of roman civilisation is deeply important to this time period (see the old english poem ‘the ruin’) but there is still fundamentally something about the inclusion of arxes that does not work for me. I think it is, perhaps, that the existence of dungeons and the delving off them is too big a thing to add without it dramatically changing the setting. A world with dungeon delving adventures is inevitably drawn into the sphere of classical D&D fantasy and away from the early middle ages. Fortunately, I can simply choose not to have any arxes and instead focus on more historical adventures with the odd mythical creature or barrow delve thrown in (don’t ask me why a barrow feels different to an arxe. It just does, ok)

A final note: My copy is the deluxe edition, which is unfortunately no longer available. I think the only difference with the print on demand version will be a less premium binding and printing and not having the red cover with gold

#Reviewing every rpg book on my shelf #ttrpg #my stuff #osr #Wolves of god

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