Whatever y'all do, do not let this go from "hey here's a critique on this short story, y'all may have accidentally fallen into some harmful tropes" to dogpiling staff, calling them racist, turning this from a critique into a mob clamoring for them to make it perfect immediately and reading into the existing version in bad faith.
I can see why the resolution of the short story would trip alarm bells and could use another draft, but the Tumblr Post Going Around digs way too deep in some places and I think we all gotta tone it down a little bit before this becomes a game of drama telephone that ends in a massive overreaction
(In games of internet telephone like this there's the compulsion to join in the discussion just so you can pre-emptively let people know what side you're on in case it ever does become an argument with distinct sides. Which it shouldn't. But it feels like it could give way to internet fisticuffs and staff accusations if we're not careful)
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How Does it Feel to Read Classic Sci-Fi?
Orson Scott Card: Two of the most interesting books you’ll ever read if you’re willing to look past a handful of things. And then you find the planet of Chinese people who worship having debilitating OCD. And the Mormonism. And the fact that the author is wildly homophobic and ought to read his own books.
Robert Heinlein (or at least the Wikipedia Summaries): I guess that’s a neat concept—oh, it’s a sex thing. Um. Gotcha.
Ray Bradbury: Man, I gotta read this thing for class huh. Well here’s hoping it’s good! *three hours later* oh. that’s why he’s famous. this will stick with me forever and I will never look at the phrase ‘soft rain’ the same again. christ. And then repeat 3x.
Isaac Asimov: Wow, this is such an interesting concept! I wonder how the exploration of it will influence the plot! Wait, hey, are you going to add any characters? Any of em? No like, with character traits other than ‘robot psychologist’ and ‘autistic’ and ‘woman’? None of em? No, ‘detective’ isn’t a character trait. Those are all just facts. Aaaand now I’m bored.
Ursula K. Le Guin: Hah, get a load of this guy! He’s never heard of nonbinary people before. Lol, what a riot; how dumb do you have to be to comprehend that these people aren’t men *or* women actually? Oh, wait, what’s happening. Oh shit, it was about society and love and learning to understand each other? And now I’m crying? And perhaps a better human being for it??
Andy Weir: Alright, this guy’s a really good writer. Funny, creative, knows so much engineering stuff…ooh, a new book! …I guess he can’t write women. Well, he wouldn’t be the first sci-fi writer…ooh another new book! And it’s more engineering problem solving and—wow. It’s not just women he can’t write. Please stop letting your characters talk to each other.
Lois Lowry: Oh, I remember this being fun when I was a kid! Wouldn’t it be fucked up to not see color? …upon reread, it would be fucked up to have your humanity stripped away, replaced with a tepid, beige ‘happiness’ for all time. Yeah.
Tamsyn Muir (let me have this ok): Haha, “lesbian necromancers in space” sounds fun. Lemme read this. Oh wow, yeah, this is right up my alley. OH GOD WHAT. NO. FUCK. OH SHIT WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING AND WHY IS IT REFERENCING THE BOOK OF RUTH AND HOMESTUCK BACK TO BACK!!! AHHHHHHHHH!! Now give me more please.
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Hell Screen
narrator: Yoshihide was an artist that everyone hated and who was an awful person, but his daughter was kind and sweet and everyone loved her so we all kinda tolerated her dad
Yoshihide: I would do anything for my daughter, Yuzuki. I can't paint something unless I've seen it with my eyes.
Yuzuki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filial_piety
Lord Horikawa: You've painted some nice art for me. I'll do literally any favor for you now.
Yoshihide: Can you release my daughter from your service
Lord Horikawa: no. fuck you
narrator: he wasn't in love with her or anything, he just felt bad that Yoshihide was her only family.
Lord Horikawa: Also I'm commissioning a massive scene of the Buddhist Hell, artist who can't paint something without having seen it
Yoshihide: ok
[various agonies of Yoshihide's apprentices]
[psychological agonies of Yoshihide also]
Yuzuki: [is seen growing unhappier and more stressed as the days go by]
narrator: people are saying Lord Horikawa's forcing himself upon her. this is false because he is too cool. this is Yoshihide's fault
[incident in which the narrator encounters Yuzuki fleeing from what was clearly assault]
narrator: yeah
Yoshihide: I'm almost done with the painting. I just need to see a maiden burn in a carriage so I can paint it
Lord Horikawa: okay [puts Yuzuki in a carriage and burns it]
narrator: stop saying it's because she didn't reciprocate his love it was clearly to punish Yoshihide for being so fucked up. I know this is true because Lord Horikawa said so
-- End --
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not sure if this counts as an AU but.. thinking about the Per Aspera crew as horror game bosses like.. you are wandering through a forested mountain range and you know somethings wrong because the forest shouldn't be this eerily silent, this devoid of life, and then you hear the crash of falling trees and there is a hand that is half your size glowing golden in the night and it is grabbing you and its claws are digging into your flesh and you see the spines running down the golden arm that is far too long as it lifts you over a crater in mountain, over a coiled, serpentine thing with a visage that is not of this world, and if you look closely you can see the shape of a child curled at the centre of the thing, golden hair reflecting the glow of the creature and if you listen closely you can hear her sobbing, 'Don't hurt me, I don't want to do this'. you are sailing through the astral sea when you see an ephemeral, resplendent spelljammer cutting through the starry waters and you rejoice because you have been lost on the seas for so so long, so you board the ship looking for help, supplies, anything, and you are greeted by a blue fire genasi (you wonder, do those even exist? but you can't get off the ship now because where else will you go?) and she tells you she is the captain of this ship but as far as you can tell there is no crew on board, and if she is not appearing right behind you from a trapdoor you've never noticed she is always in the engine room 'fixing the ship' even though the ship seems to be sailing perfectly fine ('Where are we going?' you ask her once and she doesn't even turn to look at you, 'Don't worry about it') and if you are ever so unlucky as to damage the ship in any way, you begin to catch flashes of red and orange out of the corner of your eye, a fire genasi wearing the woman's face who whispers at you with hollow, angry eyes 'Don't you fucking dare hurt my ship'. you are sailing through the astral sea when you see a rotting, decaying spelljammer, so badly damaged it's barely moving although you have to wonder how it's even staying afloat at all, and out of some morbid curiosity you climb on board and the deck of the ship is in no better shape than the hull, the marks of hard-fought battle - scars in the wood from sharp blades and arcane energies, stains of blood and oil splattered about - still fresh but you know time doesn't pass on the astral sea so who knows how long ago this all took place, and as you climb below decks you start to notice the writings on the walls, pieces of parchment nailed to every surface and connected with fraying, rotting threads, or words etched directly into the wood, the deep gouges barely readable, and you start to hear the creaking and clanking of rusted machinery slowly moving about and you turn a corner to see a figure standing in a room facing the wall, slowly scratching yet more of that unintelligible writing into the bones of the ship, and it turns as the rusted dented mechanite stares at you with eyes ablaze and he asks 'Who are you? Where is my crew?' as sparks of arcane lightning begins to arc through the room. you are running through a feywild forest and you know, even without the figure chasing you, that you have made a horrible mistake, you should have known better, should have been more careful, should have kept your impulses in check, and now you are being chased through an unfamiliar forest and the figure, the Hunter pursuing you knows this realm like the back of his hand, knows every tree and shrub and vine that is slithering up to grasp at your ankles, and you glance back desperately to catch any glimpse of your pursuer but there is no pursuer, he has hidden himself with some arcane trick or some innate power or just the knowledge that this realm is his home, and you hear his voice even though you cannot see him as he cries out 'You should not have hurt my family. Prepare to face the Hunter of Hundkiln'
sorry no Vhas yet maybe I'll update with one for him once we get more of his whole deal
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Listen. Could Dead and Loving It be a fraction of the length and maybe finished by now if I only focused on Danny and Jason?
Possibly
Would it be a better story?
Probably, from several perspectives
But it absolutely would not be the same story, and nor would it be the story I want to tell
Because I am hopelessly addicted to ensemble casts, and I don’t want the boys to exist in a vacuum. I want Jason to run off with his siblings and with Danny’s friends, and I want Danny to fuck with the bats
I want them to touch all the parts of each others lives that existed before they met, and will still continue to exist after even if things change forever between them
I want all the background characters to interact with each other, have their own inner worlds and their own motivations, and yeah, this absolutely means this is not an efficient telling of a slow burn romance
Because the story isn’t the slow burn romance
The story is these two people, and the world they live in, the story is the way Duke and Cass both see Jason differently than Dick and Tim ever could and that matters, and that none of them are wrong
The story is Danny finally telling people who will listen about the Anti-Ecto Acts, and all the fucked up things the GIW do, and being able to ask for help and have that be okay
The story is messy and complicated and will have so many rises and falls, so many pivotal moments that are drama and combat and so many that are just two people talking to each other and finally seeing eye to eye
The story is the way that Jason’s relationships with his family can finally mend, now that he has someone who can get him the help he’s needed
The story is the way that Danny can come to terms with the responsibilities of being a king, the constant question of agency and power and what he’s worth if he’s only Danny and not the Ghost King
The story is Clockwork fucking with the pair of them because he specifically thinks it’s funny (he’s right)
And yeah, there’s a slow burn romance in there. There’s also a coming of age tale, and a story about healing and reconciling and moving forward knowing you cannot change the past, but you can do better
Unless fucking Clockwork decides you can change the past because yeah then it’s fine to just go do that I guess
I was kinda considering breaking the story out into multiple chunks because holy fuck is 100k an intimidating chunk of words, but I’m not gonna
It’s all one story, and you will be my hapless victims as we get to fucking 300k or wherever this beast ends because we are not here for efficient story telling and motion of the plot
We’re here for the connections, the characters, the meaningless bullshit that would absolutely be cut in anything anyone ever wanted to sell, cuz I am not selling this
Imma write every fucking scene I wish I got from books, TV, movies, podcasts, actual plays, every fucking time I scream at the characters to just fucking talk to each other because messy is good too
Messy is okay
Stories don’t need to be marketable to be worth telling, and this one’s gonna be too long and intimidating for some people and that’s okay
But I fuckin’ rolled in from Critical Role which averages around 500 hours of content per campaign and a cast of 7 plus Matt’s NPCs
And I STILL want more goddamn character moments from all of them so I haven’t found a size yet that I can’t manage
I love reading focused stories that I can get through fast, and fuck, look at the rest of my AO3; I will fucking never diss a one shot, or a short story, or a piece that really focuses in on one or two characters
Delicious, I love them, my bread and butter
It’s just not what this mess is gonna be, and that’s okay too
Gods be fucking willing we will not have another six chapters that take place over the course of three hours, but we’ll just have to see how that shakes out cuz I’m being possessed by a seemingly infinite number of plot bunnies and my own tendency for “hey it’d be funny if”
And oh boy has it been funny every time
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