#i didnt but im learning. 🙂‍↕️

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙written in the stars | DR3˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem y/n reader (she/her)

genre: social media au

warnings: age gap!!

summary: in which you both meet after break ups and mend each other, or in which the world focuses on the wrong things about your relationship

a/n: kind of an old request i never got round to but i fear i need to break up all the charles reqs with some daniel 🙏 hope u enjoy LOL

request!!!: can i req daniel ricciardo age gap fanfic pls plssss

my masterlist

fc: ruby lynn

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by yourbff, friend2, and others

yourusername girl's night 🍕

view all comments

yourbff girl what happened last night 😂

yourusername u know im the last person you should be expecting to remember that

yourbff oh okay valid

friend1 so much fun

yourusername ilysm

friend2 single life suits you babe

yourusername 😀 dont remind me

friend3 miss u wish i could've made it

yourusername soon u lil busy body!!!

yoursister interesting coping mechanism

yourusername learned from the best

yoursister 🤨 who me or mom

yourusername ...both

messages ->

/

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, yoursister, and others

yourbff so is he hot

yourusername YES. SO HOT

yourbff YESSSSS I TOLD U SO

yoursister and this is?

yourusername just a friend 😇

danielricciardo posted a story

liked by landonorris, f1gossip, and others

user1 helloooo???

user2 didnt u & heidi break up??

user3 is this heidi or a different girl

user4 i knew u & heidi didnt break up!!!

user5 so cute

landonorris and who is this?

danielricciardo 🤫

twitter ->

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, and others

yourbff HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

yoursister happy birthday my angel :)

friend1 haps baps gorgeous

friend2 hbd

friend3 cant wait to see u later!!!

danielricciardo happy birthday❤️

messages ->

txts between daniel & lando !!

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, and others

yourusername it's my party i'll cry if i want to

view all comments

user14 omg??? @.user15 look at this

user15 wtf how did u find this

user14 i jus noticed lando AND charles both followed her recently

user16 yo we got a detective over here

user17 SHE'S 22 YRS OLD???

user18 wowwww so young happy birthday i guess

user19 daniel is dating a 22 yr old...?

user20 kind of weird no

yourbff the most gorgeous girl

yourusername i love u

friend1 WOWWW im in love with you

liked by yourusername

danielricciardo hope you had the best time ❤️

yourusername oh i did, tysm for coming!!

user21 what if they're just friends

user22 😂 yea righttttt

twitter ->

instagram ->

f1gossip

liked by user20, user3, yourbff, and others

f1gossip daniel ricciardo spotted with rumoured new partner 22 year old y/n y/l/n. the two have sparked controversy recently due to their large age gap.

tagged: danielricciardo, yourusername

view all comments

user31 oh so they are dating.....

user32 who even cares abt their age gap as long as they're happy!!!

user33 frrrr they're both adults soo?

user34 right and they obviously just met recently

user35 im jus glad to see daniel moving on from heidi

user36 i kind of love them together

user37 we should just leave them alone

user38 agree it's literally none of our business

user39 sooo cute he's whipped for her i fear

user40 i love them ... LOL

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, and others

danielricciardo life's been a bit of a whirlwind 🌪️

view all comments

user41 omg sooo cute

user42 the candid pics of y/n omg he's obsessed

yourbff you cuties

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername

user43 awww he deserves to be happy tbh

user44 still not convinced on the age gap looool

user45 get over it...

landonorris ur new better half

danielricciardo shut up loser

yourusername yup🙂‍↕️ lando right for once

landonorris feels like ur bullying me but i'll take it

user46 maybe daniel is her sugar daddy

user47 wtf is wrong with you LOL

yourusername 😂😂😂😂😂😂

landonorris HAHAHAHA

danielricciardo hahahaha no way

maxverstappen1 sugar daddy daniel 🤨😨

yourusername 🩷🩷!!!!! my loveeee

danielricciardo 😍 you fixed my heart

yourusername and you mine🥹

user48 SOOO cute i love that they went thru break ups together

user49 they were meant to be

user59 written in the stars ✨

THE END 🩷

[nicksguts]

hot to go! | nicholas chavez x reader

synopsis — you’re a popstar touring around europe. nicholas is a rising star in hollywood that attends to one of your concerts in paris while being in a small vacation after shooting his new series “grotesquerie”.

faceclaim — olivia rodrigo

author’s note — dates and hours aren’t relevant in here + already apologizing for any misspellings 🕊️

parts — one, TWO

instagram

cooper koch tagged yourusername and nicholasalexanderchavez

liked by yourusername, nicholasalexanderchavez, madelyncline and 2,733,623 others

cooperkoch i just tripped and fell into paris

user OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

user FRIENDSHIP GOALS????

yourusername IM BLOCKING YOU WHAT IS THE LAST PICTURE

user lmfao you look like a creepy child looking at the camera 😭

nicholasalexanderchavez not the y/n picture HAHAHA

cooperkoch idk why shes complaining she looks good yourusername @ cooperkoch I LOOK TERRIBLE nicholasalexanderchavez @ yourusername no you dont user is it too soon to start shipping those two ??

irisapatow why didnt you guys invite me 🙄

yourusername i love you please come next time

user cooper koch and nicholas chavez being friends with y/n WAS NOT on my bingo card for this year

user honestly y/n and nick would look so good together fr (liked by the author)

user NOT COOPER LIKING THIS COMMENT LMFAOOOOOOO user cooper cant stop being a constant diva i hope he keeps giving us content

user cooper and y/n gives the besties vibes 😭

user what about nicholas??? user girl…. iykyk user BYE

instagram

liked by nicholasalexanderchavez, sabrinacarpenter, pinkpantheress and 3,278,829 others

yourusername bad idea right?

user GIRL WE KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING

user BYEEEEEEEEEEEE

sabrinacarpenter girl you’re HOT

yourusername learning from the best 💋

cooperkoch this DIVA

yourusername THIS DIVA!!!

user BARK BARK WOOF WOOF

user she’s just mother we gotta accept shes the people’s princess 🙂‍↕️

user cant wait to see her at her next concert

user the red lipstick the rings the hair UGH SHES SO PERFECT

nicholasalexanderchavez i like your rings

user boy we know what you actually like user @ user I JUST SPAT MY WATER yourusername just the rings? user GIRLBOSSSSSSSSSSS

one month later — twitter

a/n — DENIAL is a river in the egypt

hope you liked it... please let me know if you want the chapters to be more extensive <3 enjoyyy

[binniesbooks]

hi fayebae, imma send these before i go for my hiatus again(im not sure if you alr have smth planned for tyun n hyuka! cos i know u have a yj fic thats coming soon, so ill send these in for them)

was thinking of tyun x reader for this

uk the series “academy reincarnation”!! There was a salsa dance ep! I was thinking that reader decided to sign up to the salsa academy where tyun is one of the instructors?/student! reader wanted to learn salsa for the longest time but has always been afraid to as one would usually need to dance in pairs. afraid of having any physical contact with any stranger(due to a trauma she formed from a relationship), even tho it was difficult, reader eventually let down her walls with tyun as the many practice sessions go by, she finds herself now looking forward to salsa practices as thats the only time she can see tyun! And she craves his touch. During one of the practices, they got so lost in the dance that their faces ended up really close to each other! Tension arises(she wants him, he wants her, dare i say more 🤭smut of course!) [didnt wanna write too much to allow ur creative freedom!!]

i hope this is good gah(just thought i should send smth in for the other members too hehe, pls dont put aside ur wip again!! Do this after ure done w ur yj one gah) love u my soobie fav boobie💗

TENDER TOUCH

TH 002 .F22 2024

wc 5.3k

pairings gentle!Taehyun x abused!reader

warnings physical and sexual abuse, traumatic experience, traumatized reader, protected sex, abusive ex-boyfriend (idk what else did I miss)

faye's note *insert: Taehyun's 어디 있지 (where am I) in boba😳* as promised, here's my second fic for the day! this is my first Taehyun fic and I'm fucking obsessed that it got up to 5.3k words, wth. Anyways, @inkigayocamman I know you requested a Tae fic, but here's another one for u to enjoy I guess while I'm still working on it. 🙂‍↕️ I hope you like this too! And ofc, to my one and only Beomgyu's kitten, I love your brain, it's so sexy omfg. I'm totally sat. Plus yeah, the yj fic is still on the line. 🤣 Anyway, I did a few research(again) for this fic, so I hope it turned out good, fingers crossed!

Edit: Thanks for proofreading the whole ass fic @babymochibeargyu I'm dead now. 😭😂 luv uuuu 😖💓

"Learn how to dance Salsa, we offer multiple dance forms for beginners to professionals. Come join us..." You mumbled reading the flyer your friend handed you.

"Jia, you know I can't do anything like this anymore." You sighed as you handed her back the flyer.

"I know, I know, it's because of your trauma, right? But maybe this is the way that can only help you overcome that trauma," She started, "I'm worried about you taking this class but I'm more worried about you carrying that trauma all throughout your life." Jia gently holds your hand, still careful not to scare you with the skin contact.

You're lost in your thought for a while thinking if you can really let go of your trauma after all this time. It's been so long since you haven't engaged in any relationship after your last one.

"I-I'll think about it." You sighed, you really wanted to be free but you just didn't know how to start. "Please do, I really wanted to help you." Jia's eyes are full of worry, sadness and guilt. Because it's been so long yet she can't do anything to help.

You've always been wanting to learn how to dance Salsa. It's like your little dream ever since, however, your boyfriend from your last relationship did not even want you to be touched nor be grazed by any man's skin. You insisted you could just pair with a girl but he threatened you to hurt anyone who will be around you if you kept on insisting to register for the dance class. You ended up not registering for the class and burying your little dance dream into the depths of your heart.

The following week, you found yourself standing in front of the dance academy building. Breathing slowly, thinking deeply whether you really want to do it or not. You were clutching on the flyer tightly. Your knees fell weak as you stumbled down, retreating all the way to the confinement of your apartment to hide from the world.

It took so much courage for you to do this. Especially when you ended up trying once again a week later. You're standing in the front of the building, staring at the swaying banner of the academy with a "SALSA DANCE ACADEMY" written on it.

You softly knocked on the door before opening it. "Hi! Come in! How may I help you?" You were greeted with s young lady, clad in a salsa dance costume. She looks bright and bubbly.

"I.. Uhm.. wanted to register for the class." You meekly answered as you slid down on the chair. "May I know your name?" The lady picked up the pen on the table and grabbed a file.

"Y/n...y/n s/n." You silently answered.

"What class would you like to be included in?" The lady's smile never faltered. Her bright aura makes you feel comfortable for a bit. "What do you offer?" You asked back.

"Well, we have group sessions and we also have one-on-one lessons," you nodded at her, signaling her to keep going. "In group sessions, there will be 15 pairs -- 30 individuals in a class, plus the 2 dance instructors," you felt pressured with just the thought of being included in the group. "In the one-on-one class, we will find you a pair if you still have none, or you can bring one, and then also a pair of instructors," she explained.

"I'll take the latter."

"Please sign here and we'll wait for another one to sign up." She smiled again at you. You were thinking of bringing your friend to the class.

"By any chance, can I bring a girl for the one-on-one class?" Her expression suddenly turned sad, "I'm afraid we are only taking a man and a woman as a pair for the one-on-one class. Usually, the pairs who sign up for the one-on-one class end up acquiring advanced skills than those who are in the group."

You thought of backing out once again but you shook your head to clear your mind. You're already here, you're already a step closer to the most awaited time of your life: to let go of your trauma.

"We'll call you once we receive another sign-up for a one-on-one class. Thank you for dropping by." The lady waved her hand as you stepped outside.

You shrunk to the corner of the door, people are looking at you but you're too occupied to even give a damn.

It's been a week. You didn't know how to explain how you felt. Half of you felt happy that you hadn't received a call yet, because that would only means you didn't have to do it anymore and there wouldn't be anymore skin contact for you to trigger your trauma. However, the other half of you felt disappointed. You would have been lying if you said that you didn't get your hopes up, thinking that this would be the way to be finally free from your trauma.

"Still haven't received a call?" Your friend placed the pizza she brought on your coffee table. Today was the day she would usually pay you a visit to your apartment. She started doing this from 2 years ago, when you and your ex-boyfriend finally broke up.

You hummed in response as you dug out the box of pizza. Nevertheless, you don't want to bring your thoughts about the dance academy again.

A couple of minutes passed when your phone rang, causing both your heads to look towards your phone

"Hello?"

"Hi! Can I talk to Ms. Y/n s/n?" The voice over the line spoke brightly.

"Y/n speaking." You just answered back, looking at your friend who's anticipating a piece of good news.

"We just want to inform you that someone already signed up for the one-on-one class as your pair. The class will start this Monday, are you fine with it?" Your friend sighed in relief as soon as she heard it.

"O-okay. Sure." You felt a rush of anxiety travel throughout your body, as your fingers trembled hanging up the call.

"Hey, it's okay." Your friend wrapped the thick blanket around your shoulders before hugging you. Afraid that she might trigger your trauma. "You'll be fine." She tries to calm you down by rubbing your back.

2 days passed by quickly. Enough to make you coil up in bed instead of getting up. Your phone vibrates from an incoming message.

Dearest Jia: Take care later, okay? I know you can do it. I won't be able to go because of work, so I hope you understand:< but I'll pick you up when you're done! <3

You: I don't feel like going.

Dearest Jia: Noooo! You've come this far. You should go, I know you can do this!

You: Fine, I'll text you when I'm done with the class.

You tossed your phone on the bed as you grunt into your pillow. You're just glad your dance class starts at 3 in the afternoon. You still had a lot of time to prepare your body and mind.

Quarter to 3, you're already in front of the building, a few people going in at the same time. Probably for the group session. You wanted to go home but the lady called you out.

"Y/n! Please come in. I'll accompany you to the assigned room. I'm Daeun, btw." She extended her hand to you but you froze. You're too afraid. But someone else caught Daeun's hand. "I'm Taehyun, the one who signed up for the pair." A tall guy appeared on your side, shaking her hand. "I-i'm y/n." You meekly introduced yourself without touching any of them. The lady looked confused at first but she shrugged it off.

"Okay, I'll leave you two here, Mr. and Mrs. Hwang are inside already."

Taehyun pushed the door open, you were both greeted with a polished wooden floor and mirror walls in the wide room. Two people were sitting in the corner. They must be your instructors.

"Please come in!" The lady waved at the both of you.

"Do you know each other?" The man asked which the both of you only answered by shaking your head.

"I think we should start our class with an introduction. Don't you think?" The lady nodded.

"I'm Mr. Hwang and this is Mrs. Hwang. She's my wife and we mainly teach one-on-one classes. You are?" They turn their gaze to Taehyun.

"My name is Kang Taehyun. I also dance but not in this genre. So I wanted to learn this." They then looked at you.

"I... I am y/n. I signed up for the class t-to overcome my t-rauma." Your words are slurred, and your reason made your instructors gasp. "I-I used to be in a r-relationship. And t-they're the reason why I can't e-even touch people or let other p- people t-touch me." You bit your lip as you look up at them.

"Honey, but I'm afraid this dance requires a lot of holding and touching, what should we do?" Mrs. Hwang clasped both of her hands on her mouth as she turned a bit emotional.

"By any chance, can you hold someone when there's a barrier between them? Like, there is no direct skin-to-skin contact?" Taehyun spoke up, you nodded lightly at him. "It's been two years so I think I can tolerate it to an extent."

"Then I think we're good Mrs. Hwang. I'm thinking of using a glove or something. If that's what makes her comfortable. I don't mind at all." Taehyun remarked.

Taehyun ended up wearing gloves for your dance class. And as much as possible, he's avoiding any of your exposed body parts. He's also lightly touching you that you feel as though it's just air grazing your body.

So far so good, the 3-hour class ended up okay. Jia picked you up 30 minutes later after you texted her that you were done.

Your dance class went well the next day. And the day after that. And the following days after that. Days became weeks, weeks became months. It's all going well, with Taehyun's careful assistance over you.

Today was the day you decided to step further to your goal.

"Taehyun, I think we can now stop using the gloves. We've been dancing for a month now and I hate it whenever I think about the gloves. It feels like I'm being disgusted by you or something." You stated to Taehyun once the two of you were on a quick break. Within one month, you grew closer to Taehyun. The quick breaks were your time to tell stories to each other.

"Are you sure? You're not making me feel like any of that, by the way. But are you sure you can do it now?" His eyes seek yours. You simply nodded as you removed your jacket leaving you with your t-shirt on.

"Are you two, okay? Shall we continue?" Your dance instructor asked, checking on you, as you and Taehyun stood up. Taehyun discarded the gloves he was using on top of his bag as he folded his long-sleeved t-shirt up to his elbow.

You started off well. Taehyun holding your hand as gently as he could as usual. Letting you turn around with some quick footwork. It was all good actually, until he needed to lean in, holding your waist and your thigh. One more turn, his arms and fingers graze through your arms. His delicate fingers holding your waist once again. A quick turnaround. A step faster. A more closer proximity.

"You fucker! Come back here! I know what you did!"

"S-stop! We're already over Han!" You squealed as you blocked the door with your body.

"You're fucking dead meat when this door opens!"

Your tears wouldn't stop flowing from your cheeks as you kept your body pressed on the banging door. Han has been your boyfriend for 9 months now. At first, he was so good to you, treating you like the princess you deserved to be. But it was too good to be true that you started to feel it was wrong. Just 2 months ago he started hurting you physically and abusing you sexually. He was too obsessed with you too that he sometimes he would start locking you up in your apartment. Even your requests got declined. At first, you let it pass as you thought it was normal. But you started earning bruises and wounds. You barely ate, barely drank, you even barely slept. You would often get fevers too. The slightest noise would make your soul jump out and the slightest movement would make you flinch.

Jia, your friend, was the one who advised you to report him. So you did, that was why he was here banging at your door.

Han's voice can no longer be heard, hence you decided to quickly hide in your closet, as you dug out your spare phone you had hidden to contact your friend.

You quickly called Jia, telling her to call the police or something but you were cut off when the door bursts open. Han was holding a gun and laughing hysterically.

"Fuck you, you bitch! You're really dead!" You quickly covered your mouth.

"Come out, kitten. Come out from wherever the fuck you're hiding!" His voice echoed through the room drowning your quiet sobs.

That's when he forcefully opened the closet you're hiding. "Ohhh, you look so scared kitten, why?" He cooed at you as his lips stretched to form a mocking grin. "Move to the bed!" You shook your head. "Fucking move to the bed!" He fired a warning shot at the mirror, crashing it. You yelped at the noise. With your trembling body, you quickly scrambled your way to the bed covering your bruised-up body.

"Strip." He commanded as he pointed the gun at you. With no choice left, and your life at stake, you did what he ordered.

He crashed his lips on yours harshly. When he noticed you didn't kiss him back, he slapped you. Blood flowed through your lips as you choked on your sobs. With the gun still pointed at your head, he started harassing you again. His hand left a bruised mark on your neck as he tightly squeezes it. You could almost see the white light as your weak body just let him do anything. There was no use thrashing around as if you had accepted your dying fate.

"Freeze!" Was the only thing you heard before everything around you went black.

You opened your eyes inside the hospital, pulled every apparatus attached to your body and started screaming. It made Jia scream out and call for a doctor. They couldn't calm you down so they needed to give you a shot for temporary sleep.

Everything came swirling back to you. Pushing Taehyun away, causing your body to crash on the wooden floor. "Shit!" Taehyun cursed under his breath as he hurriedly pushed back his sleeves and wore the gloves again, picking up your jacket at the same time, before coming back to you. Your instructors let out a shock gasp as they also rushed over to you.

"Please grab a blanket or any thick clothing!" Taehyun shouts as he tries to ease you by covering your shoulder with your jacket.

Mr. Hwang passed Taehyun his padded jacket he always brought with him. Taehyun carefully wrapped the thick jacket around your body. He holds your face as he tries to soothe you.

"Y/n, look at me, please look at me." Sweat started to form on his forehead as tears freely flowed down your cheeks. "Please, look at me, and breathe slowly. Breathe slowly. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale." Taehyun guided your breathing as his glove-cladded hands rubbed your cheeks.

Mrs. Hwang was panicking but Mr. Hwang tried to calm her down before he went out to grab a glass of water.

Your heartbeat slowed down for at least a bit. Taehyun guiding you helped somehow as you slowly calmed down. Taehyun got the water from Mr. Hwang and held it in front of you as he let you sip on the water slowly.

"Are you feeling okay now?" Taehyun tucked your sweaty hair behind your ears. His eyes were full of worry. "Do you wanna go home and rest?" He's still carefully rubbing your shoulder. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have removed the gloves. That was too risky." Taehyun mumbled as he hesitated to hold your hand.

That same afternoon, he called your friend over. He introduced himself and explained the situation. He let your friend take you home as he bid you two goodbye. You're lucky it was Friday at that time so you don't have to worry about waking up the next morning to go to your dance class. For the next two days, you spent it caving in your room. It helped you calm down.

Monday. You opened the door. You laughed at the scene in front of your eyes.

"What's that?" You chuckled as you placed your bag on the corner. Taehyun looks at himself in the mirror. He's totally covered. He's wearing a thicker glove and a padded jacket. His usual dress pants are now sweats. He's even wearing a mask. He scratched the back of his head.

"Pft. That's too much. Don't worry I'm fine now. Thank you by the way." You smiled at him.

"Are you sure? Because that scared me. I don't know what to do." He removed his jacket along with the face mask and the thick gloves.

"Mhm, I'm sure." You assured him.

"Okay then. We'll try again. Slowly this time." His eyes are full of concern as he looks at you. You smiled at him as you accepted his hand.

For another month, Taehyun tried to connect with you. Stopping whenever needed. Wearing the things he needs to wear whenever he can sense your anxiety rising. For once, you realize how he gently holds you. How he's always careful with you, treating you like a fragile glass that would easily break if you weren't handled correctly. One month passed without much problem. If anything, you're actually growing accustomed to it.

For some reason, you learned to feel comfortable with Taehyun's touch. The graze of his skin, his fingers, and his touch never terrified you anymore, and his existence no longer made you panic.

Now, he's solely the reason why you're still attending your dance class. You're slowly putting your trust in him. You're slowly putting your walls down. He can now hold your hand without fear. He can now dance without thinking that you would startled. He slowly introduced you to the steps that requires your body to be closer. Teaching you how the steps are supposed to be done. You're no longer panicking. Even when your face is just only few inches from him, you were actually smiling at each other. You no longer feared his touch. If anything, he's only leaving you all tingly with his warm skin.

You could feel the warmth radiating off his body. Whenever you leaned on his chest, it made your heart flutter. His breath on your shoulder, your neck, any part of your body makes the knot in your stomach twist tighter.

You're slowly craving for his touch. For how he cares for you, for how he tends to you. Whenever you're home, he keeps popping into your head. How his sharky smile appears whenever he's happy. The small noises he made. His cat-like attitude. He's the perfect example of hot, sexy and cute.

Every last week of the month, you would have all the time to yourselves to gather all your skills acquired. Because every once a month, you had to show what you have learnt in class. This now left the two of you alone in the dance studio. Perfecting every step and move you needed to show on evaluation day.

Taehyun's lingering touches left you all tingly. His deep voice sent a shiver down your spine. His breath alone makes your mind go in a twist.

"One step back, two steps to the front... One turn and... Lean you down." He's matching his words on every beat of the step. You thought it only happens in a fantasy world. But it was like the world stopped when his eyes were fixed on yours. His steady breath makes you hold yours. His eyes traveled down to your lips as he gulped. He mumbles a soft "You're pretty," before pulling you back to stand on both your feet.

His hands are both on your face as he slowly backs you to the mirror. His breath is unsteady and warm. The moment he got you pressed on the mirror, he leaned his forehead on yours as he closed his eyes.

"You're really pretty. So pretty I'm afraid I can't control myself." He whispered. Your hands were on his chest, you felt how his heart was thumping so hard.

"S-should we head out early?" You whispered, your hot puffs of breath touching his lips got him reeling as he cursed under his breath.

He quickly pulls away, holds your hand and grabs both of your bags. Both heading outside to his car. "Tell your friend I'm taking you home instead." The air in the car throughout the drive was so thick. His hands were gripping on the wheels, tapping impatiently when the road slowed down.

"Calm down, Tae, I'm not going anywhere." You chuckled as you placed your hand above his when it was resting on the gear shift. He throws a quick glance at you. He bit his lip as a flush crept up on his cheeks.

The drive was short, but Taehyun's action made it look like it was not. He hurriedly got out of his car, running over to your side to open the door for you as he held your hand. His jittery steps were heavy as you both made your way to his humble home.

"Come in." He nervously spoke as he placed his shoe on the rack, switching the light on in the process.

"D-do you want a drink or something?" He was almost running towards the kitchen.

You flop on his couch, making yourself comfortable at some point. "Come here, instead," you chuckled, "You're so anxious for no reason, Taehyun." He sat down beside you, wiping his sweaty palms on his dress pants as he sighed. You scoot over, holding his face, lips just a few inches apart.

"Wait," he pushed you a bit, "a-are you sure about this?" You nodded and smiled at him. "G-give me a minute." He rummaged through his back pocket pulling a handkerchief. You looked at him confused.

He unfolded the handkerchief and gently placed the thin fabric on your lips before crashing his lips on yours. He holds your nape as he climbs up on the couch. He slowly laid you down. Lips unmoving, yet it feels so hot. His lips were just merely pressed on yours with the fabric separating both of your soft skin.

He pulled away, kissing your forehead. "I'm sorry." He whispered as if he was the one who did you wrong. You gently pull the handkerchief away as you tangle your fingers in his hair. Taehyun never failed to take care of you in the most gentle way possible. He's not thinking of his pleasure at this point. He's thinking about you. To the point that he even thought of putting a piece of cloth between your lips just to be able to kiss you.

You wanted to cry at how he's taking care of you. Your eyes welled up with tears as you pulled him back. "I'm good now Tae, thank you for taking care of me. There's no need for the hanky." You whispered before your tears rolled down your cheeks as you kissed him, bare.

He's a gentleman. He's too good to be true. But you let your walls fall down and let him enter. You let him protect you instead. But his hungry kiss spoke thousands of emotions. His kisses travel down to your neck.

"Taehyun..." You whimpered as you gripped his hair.

"A bit more... Just a bit more..." He started sucking and biting your neck and shoulder, leaving splotchy red marks. He pulls away for a while, enough time to tug your shirt off your body.

His fingers slowly traced every scar you have on your body. The marks on your chest from the bottle Han once threw at you. The cigarette burns on your stomach. He also pulled down your skirts only to see stitches from your thighs. You got this when Han pushed you down the stairs. His finger draws back to your lips. The scar from the cut when he slapped you is still visible.

You covered your face out of embarrassment. You no longer look pretty with your all bruised-up body. "We can't do this here." Taehyun got up and carried you all the way to his bedroom. He laid you carefully as ever in his bedroom.

The bed dips down at his weight as he kneels between your legs. His head dips down to kiss every scar you have on your delicate body as if he's kissing your trauma away. He took his precious time. Not wanting to scare or startle you at any point. His actions are being done with all tenderness.

"Do you still want me to continue?" He asks when he hovers above your body, his elbows on both sides of your head. "I want you Taehyun, please do..." You whined biting your lip. "How can I say no when you say it like that, sweetheart." He sighed leaning his forehead on yours again. Your arms crawled under his shirt, feeling his toned body hiding beneath the soft cotton shirt he was wearing. "C-can you take it off? I feel so exposed." You mumbled as you tugged his shirt. "Ah, shit, I'm sorry." He quickly backed up to discard his shirt on the floor.

You stared at him when he was all fours above you. His body is totally toned. You can clearly see the firm muscles on his arms. His buff chest and his perfectly defined abs. "Touch me. I won't stop you. Touch me so you won't feel embarrassed anymore. Touch me so you won't feel as if I'm taking advantage of you. Touch me so you won't feel scared." He grabbed one of your hands and placed it on his chest, slowly dragging it down to his abs.

When he lets go of your hands, you continue to drag them down to the waistband of his dress pants. "C-continue..." His eyes were shut close, his lips trapped between his teeth. You can clearly see his abs tightening as he clenches with the graze of your finger on his waist. He gulps when you hook your finger inside. You unhooked the clip that's binding his pants and pulled the zipper down. His breathing hitched at the lingering touches you're leaving on his lower body.

You gently stroked him as you looked for his eyes. His lips were swollen at how he was biting it. "You won't let it out?" You tried taunting him. "Fuck..." He lets go of his long-held breath, hissing through his teeth. "Y-you're making me crazy, sweetheart... You're totally making me crazy..." He huffed as he tucked your hair behind your ear.

"Condom?" You asked. He reached into the small drawer just beside your head, pulling out a packet of condoms. "D'you wanna p-put it in f'me?" His words were short, and he was catching his breath. You gently rubbed the head of his cock as you rip the packet with your teeth.

"S-sweetheart, you're... Shit... You're k-killing me." He shuddered when you pressed at his slit, his jaw clenched tightly, his hand grasping the sheets.

You slowly drag your fingers on his cock as you wrapped it with the condom. "T-take your time... I w-won't do anything to hurt you or...ahh... or m-make you s-scared of me." He's struggling to hold back but he's doing his best. As soon as you were done, you tangled your fingers on his again, pulling him for a kiss. A kiss full of care. Gentle. Delicate. Sweet.

He pulls away, caressing your face once more. He pulls your underwear in one swift motion as he lines himself up on you, slowly pushing in. He continuously soothes you by rubbing his thumb on your cheek. "Don't be scared, hm? I'm here. It's just me..." He keeps on mumbling, repeating the same phrase as you nod back at him.

Once he has bottomed out inside you, he stays still as he continues to plant soft kisses on your face. You were tearing up not because of the trauma anymore, but because of the love and care he's showing you.

He unhooked your bra as he gently groped your breast, his fingers flicked on your nipple as he suck on the other. "Mmm..." You whimpered underneath his big body squirming at how his tongue danced on your nipple. He didn't take long, afraid that he might hurt or trigger your trauma.

"C-can I move now? I might end up c-cumming now. You've been clenching f-for some time..." He muttered under his breath. You nodded and covered your face again.

He pulled both of your hands and intertwined your fingers with him above your head. "Please don't cover your face. You're beautiful. You're still pretty even with your scars. You're still gorgeous even with your fear and trauma. Please... Just let me take care of you. I know it'll be hard for you, but I promise. I promise to hold you dearly and cherish you." His eyes were looking for answers.

"Taehyun... Please... Please take care of me from now on. Please hold me when I feel scared... Make me feel loved..." Your silent weeps were drowned as he kissed your nose. "I'll be your peace, sweetheart." He wiped your tears as he slowly thrusts in you.

"I... I promise to hold you as gently as I can... But... I think I might end up g-going hard right n-now." He buried his face in the crook of your neck.

Your arms reached over his back as your nails dug and dragged over his bare back. "T-Taehyun..." You moaned out his name as you writhed in pleasure beneath him. The slow thrust becomes a little bit more sloppy. The skin slapping echoed through the solitude of his room.

"Fuck. Please forgive me if e-end up going t-too hard. But I promise to d-do my best to hold b-back." He grunted as his thrust went harder. You shook your head wanting him to go harder.

"I-i can't hurt you... I w-won't..." He steadies the way he thrusts inside you making the knot on your stomach tighten as you feel your high just around the corner.

You held him as if your life depended on him, "Taehyun... I'm close." "D-do it, sweetheart. I'm g-gonna cum any m-minute." He pressed his lips on you to drown your moans as you both came. He rubbed your waist as he soothed you before pulling out. Tying the condom and disposing it in the bin, zipping up his pants at the same time.

He bends down to kiss your forehead as he grabs a pack of wet wipes cleaning you up. He picked up his shirt and made you wear it. He finally laid beside you as he pulled you on his chest, running his fingers through your hair.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" He checks on you, to which you replied by shaking your head and a smile. "Sorry for going too hard, I did my best to hold back," he mumbled as he kissed the top of your head. "I'm okay Taehyun. Thank you so much." Your eyes finally close as his warmth embraces you. He hums while still hugging you close to him.

"Please rest now, sweetheart. When you wake up, you no longer have to suffer anymore. You're safe with me. You're finally safe with me."

@binniesbooks 2024

[tsuki--sora]

helloo i was wondering if u have any tips on how to start learning how to draw?? i’m gonna try it for the nth time and force myself to not give up and since i absolutely LOVE ur art i was hoping you could help me?? thank you in advance and have a happy new year 🥰

omggg i just saw this :O!! i havent been around here so i didnt see :C but anyway!!! im not sure what advice or tips to give tbh so ill just share some things that helped me 🙇

knowing what im drawing (basically...using reference lol ) u might've seen this tip a lot but its true 😆 think of it as like... training wheels on a bike AHSAHSAHHA u use training wheels for some time until u can be good enough to ride a bike without them or something like that.... its the same with using reference. u have to know and get familiar with what an object looks like first before you're able to draw without it and with confidence. tbh i dont always do this bcos sometimes i just wanna mindlessly draw ykno 😔 and thats okay as well!!! just remember that reference is very helpful when u hit a dead end with ur artwork :D also learn from real life!! look around u! sometimes id stare at something and nod in understanding. ----------------------------------

draw what u love <33 honestly, i only got back into drawing when i went down the vtuber hole a few years ago LMAO i would draw vox akuma eveyday 🙂‍↕️ and then my love for one piece got revived so now i draw my favorite characters every chance i can get bcos its all i can think abt!!! its honestly a good motivator. ----------------------------------

accepting and learning from mistakes ive always struggled with perfectionism and that really took my enjoyment and love for creating🥹 and that also stopped me from experimenting and exploring coz id always think that it wont come out as i hoped it would. SOOOO for the past 2-3 years i think?? i make it a habit to STOP ✋ being super critical when i see or make a mistake. the perspective is wrong? noted. the anatomy looks wonky? okay!! i let them exist in my artworks bcos how would i even know where to improve in if i dont know what it is 😅 i also make sure to keep those errors in mind so i know what areas i should be working on. u can always correct them on ur next work!! and the next!! again and again!!! its never-ending! ure always improving, always learning. ---------------------------------

i also have a board of artworks and styles that i really really like and i look at them when i need inspiration hahaha sometimes u just have to scroll thru pinterest for hours and draw nothing lol

personally, i think one doesnt have to draw everyday to be good. i mean, you can if u want to! but u might burn out fast if u force urself to draw everyday. just.. pace yourself. remember to rest and be good to yourself as well :))

thats all i can think of right now. i feel like i could share more but im just not good with words or explaining things. forgive me 😔🙇 our experiences may differ and what helped me may not be of use to u,,, but i hope this can help u even juuuuust a bit :"D be proud of every piece u make. u worked hard on it after all <33

(also sharing my art throughout the years!)

[sooniebby]

hihi mcyap anon again‼️

i'll start off with explaining hiea then (it can also be written as hie but it's too similar to เฮี้ย which is a general expletive 💀). hiea comes from the chinese word (p sure it's in teochew dialect, most thai people of chinese descent are from the teochew ethnic group, myself included !) for older brother. you can call them just hiea or you can put it before the name of an older man, for example, hiea jiang (เฮียเจียง). most thai-chinese people use this word to call an older man, it can be a blood relation, an chinese older man in general, or obviously one's partner. keep in mind tho if someone looks very "obviously" chinese as an older man in thailand, they may be called hiea anyways regardless of the race of the person calling them

tldr; hiea is like "phi" but for chinese people

it's a good idea to take the last name of a real person to start off with imo cuz thai last names are a headache, even for many thai people 😭 fun fact, the last names of thai people are meant to divide by race and family (ie., different families = different last names but im pretty sure that mustve came up in your research at some point ‼️). families with very short last names tend to be like those whose ancestors have been living in thailand for very long, and the longer the last names, the less time their family line has been in thailand. so thats smth... not sure if this came up but if it didnt ‼️

anyways, i dont blame your choice for spacing out the names like that tho. theres also another format i learned in elementary school, the teachers did the names like first name (nickname in brackets) last name but thats not a good format for story writing 💀 but the clarification is pretty helpful, thank you!!

im very happy people are taking interest in thai culture 😭 theres a lot to learn, obviously it's impossible to know everything even as a local. i do hope youre not watching some trashy low budget thai telenovelas tho theyre all the same fcking plot 😭 my mom used to turn them on for me to snooze to as an elementary schooler cuz theyre so... 💤

the name makes sense. such a strong nickname too, i think it fits him ‼️ธาวิน is kinda ironic ngl 💀💀💀 pretty sure my friend in cmu dentistry has a prof with the last name ชัยอริยะกุล it's a nice name tho !! ps i think the naming conventions are kinda goofy, they hurt my brain to think about sometimes esp bc ive seen how it impacted the choices of naming my younger cousins (exmp: lil sister cousin was gonna be born on smth smth day i forgot and my mom and her sister did all the calculations and stuff for it then it blew up on them cuz the baby was born before then by a few days and they had to rush to get a name and do those calc shi and in the end my uncle just gave her a random name unrelated to the calculations and it was kinda a huge waste of time)‼️but im glad to know you think theyre cool!!

and im always happy to help out ‼️

Ooh, thanks I get it now. I did not know last names could be a hint into how long a family has lasted in Thailand, that’s so cool 🙂‍↕️! I had read that some last names were kinda just made up? But that could’ve been wrong, so I just looked at famous Thai actors and stole their last name lmfao

I went with the nickname first because I read a blog from a Thai person and that’s how they said it’s often written out.

But I am watching Thai bl dramas.. does that count as trashy telenovelas? I mean I learned a lot from a few of them but I of course double checked by researching from Thai people’s blogs and stuff lmfao

I chose his nickname cuz I read a post of how nicknames are usually chosen. And someone said sometimes they’ll base it off how the baby looks sometimes? So I thought it’d be funny if maybe when he was born his parents were like, “damn, he looks scary as hell” lmfao

[viasdreams]

I definitely don’t think anyone was doing it to offend on purpose, and I think you’d find a wide variety of opinions on whether or not it was offensive in the first place, but I thought it’d be nice to offer one perspective on it. It’s important that we all let each other know things like this where we can ! (Especially in the times we’re in ://) We’re all still learning and figuring shit out !!! It’s also nice to stimulate conversations like these in kpop spaces. Educated fans can help cultivate non complacent idols ! ILY <3

- 🦌

i totally agree🙂‍↕️ i really appreciate you saying something because it didnt just alert me to the potential harm i was causing, but a few others as well. as someone who is often "the friend thats too woke", im usually on top of these things, but it's good to know i still have stuff to learn!

thank you for telling me, plz do it again if you catch me slipping 🙏

ilyt my dear deer anon <3333

[caxasy]

I'm trying to understand the lore of LADS but I'm still a little confused, which tbf I don't actually play the game 😅 but I sorta got obsessed after promising myself I wouldn't once I read your stuff. So I wanted to ask what got you into LADS and what do you think of the story so far?

(i also have no idea what is going on in the lore LMAO well ik the main story lore but when you put together all of mcs relationships w the LIs and the myths, i start getting a lil confused bc omg so many timelines ughhhh)

what got me into lads was acc a friend of a friend playing the game, telling my friend who told me that its actually fun + hot sexy otome men, and basically from there i was sold. i kinda knew abt it beforeee, like rlly rlly early days of its release but i wasnt in my otome game phase anymore so i kinda ignored it (the ads on tiktok r so freaky too, i was a past-retired freak so it wasnt appealing to me then LOL)

the story is acc very interesting to me, but also a tad overwhelming 🙂‍↕️ only because there is so much lore. learning all about the relationships and timelines is kind of been like hovering over me, waiting for me to pay attention to it when in reality im trying to act like ik whats going on whwn i REALLY dont. thats kind of why i gravitate towards caxasy (caleb xavier n sylus) is because their lore is way more comprehensive to me and more so straight forward (alrhough i admit i am still trying to learn more about xaviers....) i plan on one day seriously sitting down and delving into zayne and rafayels but until then im kinda in the dark with those two </3

TLDR bc omg i didnt realize i lowk went on a tangent : i think the games story line is really good and engaging, esp when it comes to the interactions w the lis and i cant wait for any new updates on the main story line. that being said, lore of it all is kind of intimidating and im still yet to understand it all

[phanyu]

hi if you actually need the explanation on who those people are i can dm a long-winded dm bc i also didnt know who they were but im so nosy and i love irrelevant drama i ended up learning it in digestible terms 🙂‍↕️

unironically pls do!!!!!!

[lucciet]

HELLO HI! 1) Your layout is so awesome I want to stare at it. 2) Can I ask how to properly integrate oneself into the BatFam fandom? I know bits and pieces from lurking but I don’t know how to navigate the canon and learn more about the actual characters…. (You seem knowledgeable sorry)

HII thank you so much <33 i also loved how it turned out hehe

as for the 2nd one... i cant help but feel honored you think im knowledgeable about it, but i actually just know bits and pieces as well ㅠㅠ ill yap overall abt how it was for me though! its basically a cheat sheet shhh

what id recommend is looking for the specific route u want to know more about (in my case, it was nightwing in general, and since i was hyperfixated on him i read his full wiki to get a base for his character and followed from there) and try to find canon material about it!

for example, ideally i'd have read all/most of the comics dick grayson appears in – but because i live in brazil and prefer reading physical copies of stuff, its a constant fight to find anything. i buy them out of order (probably would get me in a fight if there were any comic book stores in my town), so i only rlly know bits n pieces about canon specifics.

however, for the rest that i can't find, i try to watch medias with it (the animated shows/movies r really good sources! but also dont always follow canon*) or find out more through pinterest/tiktok. often people will post lore stuff on there n u can learn more abt it :3

as for batfam specifically... my best tip is to engage with the canon timeline to understand when each character came around !! reading all of the comics would be tiresome (and i didnt do that either, so u get a pass from me), so just getting the hang of it would be a good start!

i dont interact a lot with other fans despite engaging in fandom stuff, so not knowing a lot isnt that much of an issue 🙂‍↕️ if thats your zone of interest tho, i can guarantee ppl r usually nice about it (esp if youre trying to learn!!)

again, im not an expert on the topic (and most definitely a poser if youve ever seen one 😭), but that's what i do to try and gain more knowledge around the universe. i dont shy away from looking stuff up if i get confused, specially bc the writers often retcon (change) parts of the lore with new editions.

also i mainly consume stuff within my reach and later on filter everything to know what is canon or not. i also use fandom content (fanarts mainly) to learn about new characters before engaging with more serious media if im interested !!

* for example, young justice did great in showing off some characters, but they are not the< canon yj and some stuff that happens on there is not canon to the overall universe. the show titans was a medium-good take on the characs, but once again doesn't necessarily serve as a canon-compliant source . theyre fun watchs though!

thats all, and i probably talked a lot n didnt actually say anything 😭😭 thank u for asking though! u can dm me if u have any further questions :3c hope i helped!

[ebdanon]

okay ive saved the tweets of these ppl because the stream is something like $15 and you can also buy merch too its on live.danandphiltour.com

https://x.com/starinof/status/1896276605615628369?s=46&t=4oLIkS_N1r5VEhTi41Eb0A

https://x.com/finalgooglefeud/status/1896289377632063518?s=46&t=4oLIkS_N1r5VEhTi41Eb0A

https://x.com/spookyphilip/status/1896271939465003377?s=46&t=4oLIkS_N1r5VEhTi41Eb0A

wait i was thinking of learning how to crochet too!! how difficult is it?

im glad to hear about your friend and the weather - it got super warm here for two whole days and now it's cooling down to freezing again 🥲

i completely forgot the biggest change in my life lmao my sister got engaged and had a party and got the marriage certificate (so she's legally married but the actual church and wedding are happening next year after they renovate the house where my now brother in law lives) but my mil and fil weren't invited to anything because my sister knows some of the drama and doesn't like them at all anymore. the joke is both my fil and mil instead of calling my parents to congratulate them on their daughter's engagement, just commented on their posts on facebook. about a week later, one of our neighbors got engaged too, and both of them called up her parents (the parents that they've previously had vicious arguments with) to congratulate them. i have since learned my parents are both offended because they never got a call from my in laws, while my in laws are offended because they never got a response from my parents on their facebook comments. it's such a high school kind of bs drama that both my husband and i are just laughing about it. i no longer care about any of their drama or bs i spent more than enough energy on it. other than that life is pretty chill, my husband now calls dan and phil my dads after experiencing their show and says he understands where parts of my personality come from 😂

also did you get sabrina tickets?

thank you darling!!! and yeah the weather is gonna cool down again soon unfortunately 😭 but nevertheless we persist!!

crocheting is really hard at first but honestly once you get a couple different stitch patterns down it becomes muscle memory lol. like i was struggling HARD before and now im making a blanket while i talk to my mom or a friend on the phone

anyway congrats to your sister!!! im sorry your inlaws have been a headache but im glad you’ve made peace with it regardless 🙂‍↕️ that makes it a lot easier to deal with when drama comes up

anyway, i didnt actually :( i was able to get in the queue pretty early but even nosebleeds were like 300-500 dollars!!! which is nuts because i went to see her in columbus on opening night of the tour and my ticket, hotel room, gas to get to columbus (its about 3.5-4 hours from here), dinner, and merch were all combined to be LESS than 500. i was so sad 😭 im willing to spend a bit more to go since i do really wanna see her again but im just gonna have to wait and see if prices ever drop 😔 here’s to hoping though!!!

anyway im excited to see the dan and phil show 🫶 they didnt come to my city so this will be a treat so thank you sweet pea

[hencheri]

I'm abt to throw hands w that haters NO ONE HATES ON MY GURL, IM ABOUTA COMIT A MASSACRE, DROP THE @ RN GURL

babe, nobody will die bcs of one hater! i blocked them bcs i didnt want to see them in my notifs again (and bcs somehow they didn’t do it themselves) so unless they rally an army against me, i’m staying in my bubble 😭 i learned that on tumblr the best to do is just respond respectfully if it’s needed and move on!

but thank you guys! that’s how i know the dark content community supports each other 🙂‍↕️ im glad to have you all <3

[sunniques]

i do like it!! its very cunty <3

and ugh yeahh i can definitely relate :( i tend to be friendly and supportive with everyone and people sometimes interpret that as me being fake and hearing that would always bother me a lot. these days ive learned that i cant really change the way people look at me, and as long as i know myself maybe thats enough. as for insomnia it doesnt happen too often but rn theres just too much on my mind and i cant really fall asleep because of it which is just annoying. thank u for going along with my ramblings lol, if im bothering u feel free to say it as well (promise i wont take it personally)!!

cherish my love is really really good omg youre so right for that 🙂‍↕️ i had to look up home sweet home and work bc i didnt know them and to be 100% honest theyre not exactly my taste but i can absolutely see why someone else might love them bc theyre very catchy (and the little melody that runs through the chorus on work is actually so fun) <3 and we all know how i feel about moonstruck so even tho its not a title track ill let it slide bc yes. maestro im actually still conflicted on 😭 sometimes i really like it and sometimes i really dont? idk either

sending love and good vibes 💗 i hope u were able to enjoy your weekend!!

- 🐇

omg i’m glad you think so 🫶

tbh it gets easier with time! like i no longer care what people think because the people close to me know who i really am! and ofc you’re always welcome in my inbox! promise you’re not annoying or anything like that.

yes cherish my love is that girl fr!! and yes work and home sweet home are def so catchy lol. omg i totally forgot moonstruck is not a title track 🤦‍♀️ it just seems like one to me bc of how much i like it lmao. and a lot of ppl feel like that! at first i did too but i love it completely now!

sending you virtual hug and all my love! i did have a good weekend and i hope you did too!

[starlostastronaut]

i diiiidn't know you had reblogged the herbology thingy 😩 snapdragon , tulip , lunaria & sunflower please pleasee 🙂‍↕️

i reblog any ask game i see they're so fun. lets get into itttt. you pick the hard ones back, didnt you 😭 ( ask game link )

snapdragon; have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity?

i have actually. my and my friend casually saw on the street a famous (in czech republic only probably tho) actor and when we were with my class in prague in a theater, we saw one of the actors from the play we saw as he was going home (he greeted us bc a classmate greeted him first lol), who is also pretty well known. fun fact he voiced snape in the czech dabing of harry potter

tulip; name 5 facts about yourself

my favourite fruits are mango, pineapple, watermelon

i always try new stuff and hobbies but can't stick with one for long

i love learning kpop choreos and want to make a dance cover account one day

i love dogs and i want to get one when i'll be living alone

after watching few eps of soy luna i tried to learn to dance on roller blades lol

lunaria; what’s your favorite fictional universe?

my love for marvel has to be mentioned lol. rn im pretty into star wars (im reading star wars au on ao3 😭). marauders era!! love it! aaah there's so manyyyy 😭 sarah j maas's worldbuilding is also a fave of mine

sunflower; share a favorite quote

if you follow me on instagram (if you want my insta mooties dm me haha), you probably saw it in my bio "odd bless". it was said by yvie oddly and its a play on god bless and i dont really have a reason but its for sure a good motto for life lol

also "when it gets tough, smile" - yang jeongin

[starjxsung]

(🪲)

okay but tumblr sometimes being a hellsite is honestly so real and i totally get that, hence why i also took a break throughout the semester and honestly it’s so nice to be back especially with all the thrill of the new comeback and the tour since it just reminds me of how much i love being a stay

i’m okay and safe at the moment, she lives a whole timezone away from me thank god. i honestly don’t think she would’ve handled it well if we lived near each other, and it’s so funny now because we used to constantly wish we lived a drive away from each other instead of a whole flight away. now i’m just thankful for the distance and my space. my parents, despite all the issues i’ve had with them in the past, have been nothing but supportive through all of this and were honestly so ready to call the cops on her and they did nawt give a shit about what would happen to her as a foreigner where i live. i feel like in a weird way, this experience has brought me closer to my parents. (also ps my mom had been learning sign language while i was away this semester and when i came back home she was so so good at signing and i’m so proud i could cry 🥹). anyways, i was by no means a perfect partner and im very well aware of that, but im also aware of the fact that nothing i could’ve ever done should’ve warranted this type of treatment and it’s something that im teaching myself now. at the moment i think i just wanna spend some time by myself and take love out of the list of priorities on what i want in my life. im learning to be okay with just me myself and i and its a little weird if im being honest but im okay and safe and that’s all that matters.

also, regarding the person you knew who died at the hands of her abuser, i’m so sorry for your loss and i hope she’s able to enjoy a peaceful afterlife. i also knew several people who’d either died or suffered irreversible damage to their bodies as a consequence of being in a violent relationship, and they were the reason why i ultimately ended the relationship as soon as she was far enough from me. i tried to stay with her another month, but i was anxious literally every single second of every day, i had literal nightmares of what my life would look like a year or two down the road if i stayed because the reality is that she felt bold enough to put her hands on me in MY country, in MY home, literally on MY turf. i couldn’t even begin to imagine what she’d feel comfortable doing once we returned to the dorms next semester. especially since we’d set up to live just the two of us in one dorm that was like a little apartment on campus, no other roommate to be a witness or intervene and it just scared me to my very core. i knew i couldn’t trust her anymore and i didn’t want to be another story in the headlines. i didnt want to be another voice amongst the other victims and so i took the opportunity i was privileged to have and used the physical distance to my advantage to end things.

thank you so much for your words, star, you’re truly the kindest person and ilysm and wish you nothing but the absolute best for you now and forever. i’m really really happy to have you as a friend. i’ll download discord again but i’m not sure if i’ll be a participant of the group chat, at least not frequently since group chats can be very overwhelming for me sometimes.

anyway, how are you feeling about writing again? better? also how did you come up with the story like what was the process of building the plot?

Tumblr my opp…. 🙂‍↕️🫶 I love this website so much but I have so much love for writing I simultaneously HAVE to take breaks from here to maintain my passion otherwise I feel too burnt out. But we’re in that “just posted and in love with interacting with all of u again” stage so I’m content and just overwhelmingly in love with all of u. It physically hurts to love everybody on this site so much oof ouch !❣️

So so glad to hear you are safe and far away from her. Isn’t it funny how we can be with somebody for so long and just wish there was less distance? And then it gets to the point where you feel as though the distance isn’t enough? I can’t travel through the city my ex boyfriend lives in anymore. It used to be a short one hour drive, and I still know all the restaurants he frequents, the street his childhood home is on, literally everything. I don’t know what he’s up to these days, but I find myself hoping he’s in another state or something because the proximity feels suffocating sometimes. You really come to value your space, and being alone and just being with your family and not having to make time for somebody else. Which can be a beautiful thing ! I second you on crossing love off your priorities right now. I’ve felt that way for a longgg long time now. And every time I wrap myself up in some situationship again, it goes awry and I know it’s also because I distance myself out of fear for repeating what my ex did to me. In many ways I’ve become a lot like him in the process of healing, scared of real commitment and vulnerable with my romantic emotions to the first person who’s able to wrap me around their finger. But I have no real end goal in any of my relationships any more- whatever happens, happens, and if I die alone then that’s cool too :)

thank you for your kind words 🫶 it was a trip to hear about. I have nightmares about her ALL the time and I can’t imagine what she went through. I left flowers at her house for a few weeks following her passing, and I truly hope she’s in a much safer place wherever she is now. I’m sorry to hear you know of people who’ve suffered it, too. This lifetime never fails to shock me with the things I hear about :( I’m grateful you were able to walk away from it when you did, and I hope you never have to go through something like that ever again. I hope love finds you safely and wholly when it comes back around, and I’ll be rooting for your happiness all the while❣️ to think somebody would even consider doing that just disgusts me on another level.

Writing has been so much fun again ! I still write all the time even when I take breaks from here. Crazy to think I’m coming around to my one year anniversary of being on this site. There’s truly no method to my madness, it’s just pure stream of consciousness (and I tend to sleep off any bouts of writing block LOL) but I have so much stuff unpublished right now hopefully I’ll get around to finishing soon and posting for you all. When I took some time away from my hometown I actually got incredibly sick so I was in bed for all hours of the day and the only thing I could do was either write or play Tetris. which I think forced me to get back into the swing of things again. Grateful all the same and I think it was a push for me to realize I need to get out into the world more !

Sending you all my love as always- you know where to find me if things get hard and I wish you nothing but the best on your path to healing. It’s not a linear process by any means, but I have no doubt you’ll get there. In the meanwhile, remember that love is all around you already, even if not romantically ! 👼🙂‍↕️💝❣️🩷💖💘💓✨⭐️