#i didnt look at trains bc my mum told my sister she would pick me up
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happy one year anniversary of My Mum Saying The Worst Part Of My Grandma's Funeral Was Not Burying Her But The Fact That I Was There And She Wished I Hadn't Gone To The Funeral At All to me
#(my mum forgot/moved on from this in like a month and has since pretended it never happened - so thats also fun)#personal#vent#so i guess it's kind fitting that this year im sat alone#crying#trying to work out whether my sister is gonna feel worse if i go to her bday thing or if i dont#and its all my fault because i dont drive#but theres no winning#i didnt look at trains bc my mum told my sister she would pick me up#then mum called and said she cant pick me up (i said this would happen last week)#so i tried looking up trains but theres a fucktonne of engineering works this weekend#and my sister is out this evening so i couldnt call them so i tried messaging to meet at theirs tmr morning to get a lift#and they just said they want tomorrow to be a nice chill day and that we can do something another time if im going to be stressed or grumpy#and now i cant tell if they dont want me there and just dont want to say or what#im just so tired of being unloveable and having to pretend like i dont notice or care that i am#(i guess at least this is happening now and not next week when i have a 2 day heart monitor#bc this would be fucking with those results)
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