#i do not need to be dreaming about detective peralta of brooklyn 99 of all people rn

[shehath-awakened]

Beautiful Deaths: chapter one

soooo i did a thing. this is an idea i’ve been toying with for a while and i’ve just finished the prologue.

summary: Y/N is a detective at the 99th precinct with a secret. Hiding from the avengers is not an easy task.

word count: 2.1K (yikes)

ps) sorry if this sucks

It was a regular day at the 99. You had come in half an hour early to finish off some paperwork from the day before, ready to start the day afresh then headed into the morning briefing at 9am.  A day in the life of one of New York’s finest was never boring; from B and E’s at the local bodegas to money laundering, there was always a case to work on. As you walked through the bullpen towards the conference room, the smell of strong, fresh coffee wafted by. You saw Holt in his office preparing for the briefing looking somewhat uneased. You payed this no mind however as you did not want to intrude, if it were about work you would find out soon enough. Most people were already here; Amy was up front, prepped and ready as always, Rosa was sat at the back with her legs placed on top of each other on the table, in fact, everyone but Peralta was present, which was typical. He soon came in just as captain Holt was beginning to address the squad, you couldn’t tell whether he had even tried to make it on time but his saunter into the room made it apparent that time management was still not a skill of his. “Good morning,” he addressed the team, he then looked to Jake with a deadpan expression “Nice of you to finally join us, Jacob” “Not my fault.” The detective held his arms up in defence. “The line to get my breakfast was really long an--” he attempted to continue but Diaz chimed in; “How is that breakfast? All you have is a cup of coffee.” “Yeah, I usually get a bagel too but I’m cutting out the carbs, Rosa” Peralta retorted, putting a comical amount of emphasis while saying her name, while Diaz rolled her eyes. “Right, okay well, back to the briefing then” Holt brought the attention back to the matter at hand, choosing to ignore the childing behaviour of his so called ‘best detective’. He went on to explain a child trafficking ring going on that required undercover investigations in order to build a case against the ring leaders. He needed three detectives to make contact with a high-ranking member and gather intel. You tried your hardest to stay professional despite the emotional ache you felt due to the sensitivity of the case. Captain Holt explained the three targets and all of their priors. “(Y/L/N), Peralta, Boyle, this one is for you three. I need you to understand that no arrests are to be made at this time, you are simply gathering intel. Understood?” “Got it, captain” you replied choosing to ignore the ‘dream team’ comment that came from Charles and taking the case file he was handing you. “Good. Dismissed.”

No more than an hour later you found yourself undercover being driven with Charles and Jake to the site. You decided to stay out of the conversation the two detectives were having in order to focus on the mission specs and to get in the zone. It wasn’t that you were nervous, you had done this sort of thing many times before. You just knew this was important, even more so because it involved children. Something you knew about all too well. Even with your years of experience however, you couldn’t shake this gut feeling you had to be cautious. You decided to put this down to too much coffee and shook yourself out of this mindset when you heard Boyle’s voice say your name. “(Y/N)? you good?” you looked up to see Charles and Jake looking at you, obviously you had been zoned out longer than you thought as you were already there. “Sorry. Was just in my head. We ready to go?” you deflected the question. You hadn’t told anyone about your background, partly because it was too risky but also because it was too difficult to physically say out loud. You had become used to being closed off to everyone. You guessed coming from no loving home does that to a person. Neither of them looked too convinced but they didn’t pry. All of the nine nine knew you were a damn good detective who could handle your own when you needed to. it was very rare that anyone on the squad let their emotions get in the way of the job. The three of you went over the plan before heading inside. It was simple really, go in disguised as prospect ‘recruiters’ (just a nicer way of saying kidnappers you thought), find out their system and report back to Holt with the information. An easy in and out. Well, obviously it was a little more complex than that, you had to make sure that you would be allowed back in for further recon and an eventual sting operation but otherwise it was simple. Fifteen minutes later you were inside and it was all going smoothly. You hadn’t made contact with the boss yet but you were being shown the place. You went into what looked like a regular Brooklyn property and led down below ground to a dank labyrinth of concrete walls and small rooms which held the poor, neglected children. Physically, this was easy, but emotionally, not being able to help the children you saw, you heard. It was heart-breaking. All three of you kept your resolve however, the best you could do for those children was keep your mouth shut so you could regain access and put these guys away for good. After being shown around by who you assumed to be the leader of this branch of the operation, the four of you began to talk details. “So when do we start?” Jake stated overconfidently, his default alter-ego for undercover work. The guy looked sceptically at Jake. He was a tall thuggish looking man with harsh facial features. The harsh fluorescent lighting of the bunker cast a shadow over his face making him look even more menacing. The entire case relied on him trusting you so it’s no surprise the three of you were tense. The guy took another glance at all of you, his eyes lingering on you for a second too long making your skin crawl. You felt Jake tense up beside you, his hand closing into a fist. You had no idea what had got into your partner and just hoped to god that this guy was too preoccupied to notice his behaviour. “yeah, alright.” He agreed, after what felt like hours, his eyes still locked with yours. You could see the clear lack of remorse in his eerily familiar eyes which only fuelled you to hold his stare. You felt the same unease that you had in the van but tried to banish these feelings for the sake of the case. After some time he smirked and looked back at Peralta, the interaction hadn’t gone unnoticed by either him nor Charles but no one dared to comment. “Come back tomorrow morning. We’ve got other recruits going out then, they’ll show you—” the thug was cut off by deafening sound of the door blasting open and the room filling with thick smoke. “Is this us?” you frantically asked Charles who shook his head in response, holt said to make no arrests, this shouldn’t be happening. The room was now engulfed in a white smoke which you saw was coming from a few canisters on the floor, one of which was at your feet. You kicked it away in an attempt to clear the room but it was futile. At this point you could hardly see a metre ahead of you. You, Jake, and Charles had your guns out but sheltered behinds a table turned over in the blast. Through the smoke you saw the figure of the man who gave you the tour escaping through another door. You started to run after him but felt a hand pull you gently back. You turned to be met with Jake shaking his head. Reluctantly, you repositioned yourself next to him behind the table. “No. It’s us.” An unfamiliar voice said through the smoke which had now begun to gradually thin. You could see Charles next to you now but the new assailant remained faceless. “oh my god…” you looked over at Jake and saw him open mouthed looking towards the door which was blocked by a silhouetted figure. Following his eyeline you saw the people you had been avoiding your entire life. At first it was the glint of the vibranium shield and the metal suit but as the smoke turned into a gentle fog you locked eyes with theirs. The avengers.

You all stood there in shock. Charles was the first to break the silence with his usual oblivious self; “Hey, Charles Boyle, my son is a massive fan!” Obviously forgetting he was undercover and that he looked just as guilty as anyone else in this place, he began to advance only to be met with an onslaught of ‘no closer’ remarks. At the same time he was met with the barrel of Black Widow’s pistol, an Iron Man repulsor, the hammer of Thor, and captain America’s shield. You quickly snapped out of your shock and became irritated, showing them your badge and advancing on the team in front of you against your better judgment. “We’re NYPD and this is an undercover operation? What the hell are you doing? Since when is this your jurisdiction?!” “uh (Y/N)” Jake tried to calm you down by putting his hand gently on your upper arm to stop you from saying something you’d regret, not to mention he was completely fangirling over being in the same room as the avengers and didn’t want to make a bad impression. “She didn’t mean that. Hey, Jake Peralta, New York’s best detective. Massive fan” he addressed them with his coy smile and an outstretched hand taken and shook by Steve Rogers. On doing so, Jake turned back to you excitedly mouthing ‘Captain America’ while smiling like an idiot. You rolled your eyes at his antics but couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips. The moment was short lived however when you remembered the mess they had made of the case. You began questioning the superheroes before you once more only to be interrupted by Romanoff; “this became our business since a majority of these children are mutants. They are our responsibility.” Her blunt manner in addressing you made you even more enraged, not to mention you had been keeping a low profile to stay away from these people for a reason. You were shocked to find out about the children, but you didn’t let this show on your features. You continued berating the people in front of you. “but you just blew MONTHS of police work!! Could you not have informed us of your involvement earlier? GOD you’re worse than the vulture!” you kept on. Both Peralta and Boyle were just staring in disbelief. Sure, you had been ticked off before but they had never seen you like this. At several moments each member of the avengers attempted to interrupt you yet all were unsuccessful. Not even Charles could cease your tirade. Despite all the anger however, you felt good. You had spent most of your life scared they would find you, but now, none of that mattered. “…and not to mention the absolute lack of tact! You let him get away in that stupid smoke! He was going to take us to the fucking boss!” at this point you had lost control of your emotions and only realised your mistake a second too late. Before you knew it, a discarded chair residing in the corner of the room flew across the open space only to smash into the filthy concrete wall to your left. If all eyes weren’t on you before, they certainly were now. You saw the realisation dawn on each of the superheroes faces. The room went deathly silent and you began to hear your heart beat faster, faster, faster. “…shit.” Was all you could utter. Thinking on your feet, you took advantage of the pause in the room caused by your outburst. It would only be a matter of seconds before they realised who you were and took you in. So you did the first thing you thought you could; you grabbed both of the dumbfounded detectives you had come with, not even taking the time to laugh at their ridiculous expressions, and teleported all three of you back to the nine-nine.

[adenei]

Auror 99 - Epilogue

I hope you’re all ready for this! It’s heist time!

AO3 || FFN

a/n: I based this off of the season 3 heist, and some of the plot points and a few lines are taken directly from the show. I do not own the rights to Harry Potter or Brooklyn 99. Thanks for following this crazy story!

Epilogue: The Heist

“Captain Holt,” Kingsley said after apparating directly into his office. 

“Ah, King, you made it,” Holt said, looking at his watch. “Right on time, too.”

“Yes, well, it wasn’t easy transporting a large portrait under a disillusionment charm from England to the United States,” Kingsley commented. “Care to fill me in now that we’re in person? Your correspondence gave away very little.”

“I can, but I don’t have much time before the squad arrives for their shift,” Holt said. “You may place the portrait on that easel over there. It is an honor to make your acquaintance,” he nodded to the portrait.

“And yours as well. While I don’t wish to speak poorly of my permanent residence, it is nice to leave the wall of the Headmistress’ office.” The voice of Albus Dumbledore could be heard through the Disillusionment charm Kingsley had placed on the frame.

“What about your other portraits, Albus?” Kingsley asked in confusion of his statement.

“Ah, yes, I do travel to those occasionally as well, but this may be my only opportunity to ever travel outside England. Though, I believe Captain Holt is pressed for time and would like to have a word before you must take your leave,” Dumbledore observed.

“Thank you, Albus,” Holt said before turning to Kingsley. “For the last two years, Detective Peralta and I have engaged in a ridiculous Halloween bet, now known as the Halloween Heist. Normally, I don’t engage in such frivolous antics. However, we are currently tied 1-1, and I intend on winning the tiebreaker and putting an end to this, once and for all.”

“I see, but what does this have to do with Albus’ portrait?” Kingsley asked.

“Ah, yes. Ever since your team left following the closing of Gerteso’s case, I planted the seed in Peralta’s mind for him to contact Nolan about returning to help him win.”

“So you think Nolan is going to be here today?” Kingsley said. “Now that I think about it, he and Jason did take the day off…” 

A wicked grin spread across Holt’s face. “Just as I predicted. Now, I’ve positioned the easel for Albus’ portrait so that he can observe everything that’s happening in the precinct, unbeknownst to anyone.”

“I will do my best, but I must say my lip reading skills are not up to snuff,” Albus admitted with a chuckle. 

“There will be no need for lip reading,” Holt said as he made his way back over to his desk and pointed to a contraption that looked like a radio. “I planted a bug on Peralta’s desk, so you should be able to hear the conversations without any issue.”

Albus nodded as Kingsley interjected. “Well, good luck to you. I’ll be taking my leave now, and will be back in the morning to retrieve the portrait.”

Holt nodded, as Kingsley disapparated. 

~o~

“It’s the best day of the year!” Peralta said excitedly as the squad gathered in the briefing room for their meeting. “The day we can finally determine once and for all who is the amazingest ‘amazing detective/genius!’”

“Yes, which we both know will be me,” Holt retorted. “This year, we will both be attempting to steal the same item. This—” he held up a briefcase and opened it to reveal a gold crown, “will be locked away in the interrogation room. The case itself cuffed to the table. We decided to use a neutral object this year instead of Peralta trying to steal something of mine.”

“Yeah, and whoever is in possession of the crown at midnight will be crowned the amazing detective/genius. Which will be me,” he added with a fake cough.

Holt shook his head in mock annoyance. “We will see about that. Now, as for teams: we each can choose who we want to work with, and as I was the victor last year, I’ll choose first.”

“I guess that’s only fair,” Jake said, rolling his eyes, and pretending to be affronted.

“I choose Terry,” Holt said swiftly.

“Alright, alright, brawns over brains. I get it,” Jake commented.

“What?” Terry asked, but Jake ignored him as he made his own pick.

“Charles,” he said. 

He didn’t notice that Amy almost stood up with a smug look on her face, only for it to fall slightly as he chose his best friend over his girlfriend. Amy looked to Holt in anticipation next. Maybe he’d choose her instead.

“Yes! The dream team rides again!” Charles said, pumping his fist in the air.

“Gina,” Holt said automatically, as Gina stood up and joined the captain.

“Rosa!” Jake said.

“Dope,” Rosa said as Amy exclaimed,

“What?!”

“Sorry, Ames, I can’t trust you. You’ll do anything to please Captain Holt,” Jake explained his reasoning.

“Well, fine, maybe I wanted to be on Captain Holt’s team anyway,” Amy said, trying to hide the look of hurt on her face.

Holt held up his hand. “Sorry Santiago, I can’t trust you either, given your current relations with Detective Peralta.

“Wait, so nobody wants me?” Amy asked. Both Jake and Holt looked at each other awkwardly and shook their heads.

“You can be with us!” Hitchcock said happily. Everyone forgot he and Scully were still sitting in the back.

“Um, I’m good,” Amy said.

“Uh, yeah no,” Jake added. “Let the heist begin!” he said as he ran out of the room quickly to meet with his team. 

“Charles, you guard the case from the viewing room. I guarantee that Holt will send Gina in there. Rosa, you know what you have to do,” Jake said as Rosa nodded and Charles took off.

Jake pulled out his phone and sent a quick text. Heist has begun. You know the drill. He pressed send and looked up to find Amy standing in front of him.

“Oh! Hey Ames, what’s up?” he asked.

She looked at him suspiciously. “Who were you just texting?” 

“Me? Texting? Oh, just Charles. You know, making sure he made it to his post alright.” Jake shoved his phone in his pocket.

Amy squinted her eyes at him in question, but didn’t argue. “Listen, Jake, you really hurt my feelings back there.”

“I didn’t mean to, Ames. You know how important this is to me.”

“So you know I want to help, then! Let me help, Jake, we’ll be unstoppable! Just give me a chance.”

“Sorry Ames, but I can’t,” Jake said. His eyes shifted down. “Nice try, Captain, but I’m not going to fall for your games this time. Your little spy is not getting any information out of me.”

“Jake, why are you talking to my breasts?” Amy asked with a disgusted look on her face.

“Because you’re obviously wearing a wire,” he said in the most ridiculous way. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got paperwork to do,” Jake said as he turned around and sat down at his desk. 

Meanwhile, Amy walked over to Captain Holt’s office and knocked on the door. 

“Come in, Santiago,” Holt called. Sergeant Jeffords and I were just finishing up here.” He nodded to Terry who gave him an unsure look, but walked out of the room, having been dismissed.

Amy hovered in the doorway. She wanted Jake to hear how Holt would gladly use her help for the heist to stick it to him. “Captain Holt, I really want to make Jake pay for not choosing to have me on his team. I’m yours, do with me what you please,” she pleaded to Holt.

“—Title of your sex tape!” she heard Jake call from his desk.

“I’m sorry, Santiago, but I have no use for you this year. You’re too much of a risk, and I can’t have a late addition ruin everything. I will reign supreme,” Holt said.

“But Captain—” Amy tried to interject.

“You’re dismissed, Santiago,” Holt said with finality. He shut his door and walked over to his desk as Amy sulked to hers.

“She’s telling the truth, you know,” Albus said from his perch from the corner.

“Maybe that’s the case, but I’ve already planned every step precisely and nothing will go wrong,” Holt said.

“Be that as it may, Captain Holt. I know I am only a portrait of my former self, but I assure you I can sense when shenanigans are afoot.”

“What does Peralta have planned? Did you see anything while I was speaking with Jeffords?”

“No, no. I only sensed there may be an additional person in the precinct,” Albus said as his eyes looked above him.

“HA! I knew he’d enlist Cooper and Brown. He’s falling right into my trap.”

~o~

“Charles, you can keep trying to distract me, but you’ll never win. How’s it feel to be on the losing team,” Gina taunted him.

“Come on, Gina, I promise you won’t be disappointed this time!” Charles argued.

“No, Charles! I will not be set up on another blind date with a Boyle cousin. I respect myself too much,” Gina argued. “This body is a shrine and I have standards to uphold.”

Charles looked up and saw Rosa’s face appear in the window for a split second. That was his cue. “It’s not a Boyle cousin! It’s a recommendation from Genevieve. Here, Gina, look! I have a picture of him. Just let me find it,” he said as he dug into his pockets. He pulled the picture out and let it slip out of his hands, falling to the floor.

“Could you be any clumsier, Charles? GOD!” Gina exclaimed. 

She looked down and saw that the picture was of a very attractive looking man. She bent over to pick the photograph up, and Charles used that moment to give the thumbs up. A split second later, decoy detonators were running rampant around the floor. This caused Gina to scream and jump up on the table as the figures were scurrying around making loud noises.

“Charles, do something! What are those things! They’re going to kill us! Charles!” Gina yelled dramatically.

While this diversion was taking place, Rosa was working swiftly to unlock the door to the interrogation room. When it didn’t work, she broke the glass on the window, and then somersaulted through, meeting Ron, who had apparated into the room. Rosa moved over to the briefcase and began cutting into the leather as Ron reached into his pocket and grabbed Peruvian Darkness Powder. He tossed it toward the window and it immediately exploded, covering the area in complete darkness. He used his wand to control the spread of the powder so it isolated itself in front of the window.

  “We’ve got two minutes before this starts to weaken,” Ron told her. 

“Got it,” Rosa said, the crown in her hands. She flipped over the briefcase and zipped her jacket, stuffing the crown inside. “We’re good,” she said gruffly. “Wait for phase two in the evidence room.” 

Ron nodded as Rosa slipped out of the door. He waved his wand to repair the shattered glass, and flipped the briefcase over, repairing the hole Rosa cut as well. He noticed the powder starting to fade and apparated back to the evidence room.

~o~

Holt remained in his office, pretending to be nonplussed by the ongoing heist, and attempted to focus on his paperwork. Terry knocked on his door and came in.

“Hey, Captain, do you have any idea when I should tell Sharon to come in. The twins are almost done trick or treating, and I’m not sure she can hold them off much—” Holt cut Terry off with a raise of his hand.

“Shhh,” he said as he turned his radio up slightly to better hear Jake’s voice.

“Great! Now, all I have to do is sit here and guard this filing cabinet until midnight. Hello, victory!”

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Rosa said indifferently as she walked away.

“Now, Terry, call her now. It is time,” Holt said.

“Uh, okay,” Terry said as he left Holt’s office. 

Holt watched Terry go, and waited for his wife and kids to enter through the elevator to take his leave from the office.

“Hey, girls!” Holt heard Jake said happily as he slipped out onto the terrace. 

He picked up his drill from the hiding spot and waited for Jake to be appropriately distracted. Stealthily, he moved towards the filing cabinet and unscrewed the back. Holt slipped the crown out, replaced the back and stood up to photobomb one of the shots before escaping into the breakroom. 

Pretending to be interested in the snack table, he noticed Amy nod to the breakroom and Jake looked over and saw him alone. He quickly disposed of the crown in the garbage can, and grabbed a handful of cheese puffs. I knew I couldn’t trust Santiago, he thought to himself.

“Since when do you eat cheese puffs?” Jake asked as he strolled in.

“If you must know, Peralta, they are one of my—” Holt paused briefly, “guilty pleasures.”

“Maybe I’m rubbing off on you after all,” Jake said with a laugh. “Quick, let’s see how many we can fit in our mouths at one time!” he said.

“I’ll...pass,” Holt said.

“Wait a minute, if they’re your guilty pleasure, why aren’t you eating any?” Jake crossed his arms over his chest. 

“I was going to enjoy them in my office,” Holt said quickly. 

“A-huh, well after you, then,” Jake said, gesturing to the door.

Holt had no choice but to follow him out and return to his office as Jake returned to his desk, petting the filing cabinet as he sat down. Jake pretended to get back to work, but pulled out his phone and typed out a message. Pretty sure Holt took crown. In breakroom. Initiate phase two.

After he returned his phone to his pocket, he noticed Charles walking over to his desk. “Charles! What are you doing? You’re supposed to be guarding the crown!”

“I’m sorry, Jake! You know I’d never betray you,” Charles said quickly.

“Why do I sense there’s a but?” Jake asked suspiciously.

“Because there is one! Come on, Jake, I thought you were smarter than that,” Gina chimed in with a guffawed voice.

“Gina? Where’d you come from? Nevermind. Charles, why aren’t you watching the briefcase?” Jake asked again.

“Well, Jakey, Gina agreed to go on a date with Nadia! But I had to leave the briefcase unattended…”

“Charles!” Jake said as his hands reached up to pull his hair.

“Jake, you can stop the act. I know the crown was obviously taken from the briefcase.” Gina told him.

“What?” Jake tried to play it off like he had no idea what Gina was talking about, but his facial expression was traitorous. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t been to the interrogation room at all!”

“Drop the act, Jake. I’m Gina Linetti and I know everything. Did you really think that distraction worked? I knew exactly what you were doing. Don’t insult my intelligence.”

“What’s all this?” Captain Holt asked as he walked out of his office. “Last time I checked this is a precinct, not daytime television drama!”

“Sir, Gina is wrongfully accusing me of taking the crown!” Jake defended.

“I don’t see how that’s a problem, Peralta. Where’s the lie?” Holt asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Jake’s mouth gaped like a fish out of water before he dropped the act. “Okay, fine, we have it, but you’ll never find it!” he admitted with an air of superiority. His hand immediately went to lean on the filing cabinet, pretending it was still there. 

Captain Holt let out an abrupt laugh. “In the top drawer of your filing cabinet? Please, Peralta, you’re playing like an amateur.”

“Would I really put the most beloved object of this life changing event in such a normal place?” Jake retorted.

“Why don’t you open the top drawer and let us all see.”

“Well, fine, if you must check…” Jake opened the top drawer, revealing an empty spot. Feigning shock, he looked up at Holt, then at everyone who was standing around. “Rosa! It’s gone. Where did it go? Tell me you borrowed it!”

Rosa had joined the circle now. “Why would I take it? That wasn’t part of the plan.”

“But then where did it go?” Jake looked at Holt. “There’s no way you could have stolen it. I’ve been at my desk the entire time.”

“Ah, yes, you’ve been here, but you allow yourself to be distracted far too easily, Peralta,” Holt said as he pulled out his phone. 

After a few clicks of the touchscreen he held out the phone for Jake to see. Sharon had sent him the picture she’d taken of Jake and the kids, with Holt photobombing with the crown in the background.

“Dammit! I should have known you’d use Terry’s girls to distract me. Not cool, Captain, not cool.” Jake shook his head, before looking up. “But wait, you were in the breakroom right after that!” He looked at Charles and Rosa before continuing, “Holt stashed the crown in the breakroom!”

The group made their way over quickly, each team trying to beat the other in an attempt to regain possession of the crown. Jake stopped abruptly at the head of the pack, causing everyone to run into him and each other. “Wait!” he turned to Holt. “That means you lied to me about the cheese puffs! That hurts, Da—I mean, Captain. I thought we were bonding over junk food.”

“Peralta, do you really think I would consume that cancerous trash?” Holt asked loftily.

“Well, that sounds a bit harsh,” Jake said, but then shook his head. “Where is it?” 

Holt walked over to the garbage can. “I had to stash it somewhere quickly so you wouldn’t see. So naturally, I placed it here,” he said, gesturing to the trash. “And now, I can retrieve it and keep it in my possession for the last hour. Looks like I have outsmarted you once more, Peral—” Holt cut off because as he lifted the lid off of the garbage can, he realized the crown was missing.

“What’s wrong?” Charles asked.

“It’s not there. It’s not there! Peralta, what’d you do with the crown? I know you took it!” 

“How could I have taken it? I was at my desk the entire time after we both left. It’s not like I can use magic or anything,” Jake said with a laugh. He didn’t realize what had slipped out of his mouth until he saw the look on Charles’ face. “I mean, obviously, magic doesn’t exist, duh…”

“Peralta, you’re not fooling anyone! I know you’ve got Cooper and Brown lurking around the precinct somewhere, helping with your plan. Did you really think you could hide that from me?”

“What?! I don’t know what you’re talking a—” 

“Peralta! Get them out here. Now.” 

Jake let out a sigh. “Fine. How’d you know?” 

He pulled out his phone and sent a quick message. Jig is up. Holt knows. Come back to the breakroom.

“How did I know? I practically gave you the idea to call them back! ‘You must miss your British friends. It’s a shame you can’t collaborate with them on anything else,’” Holt mimicked the words Jake remembered hearing more than once since the Gerteso case closed.

“Aw, man! You and your reverse psychology. Come on, Captain! Why do you always have to play the weird mind games?”

“Maybe you should put your detective skills to better use, and pick up on it, then,” Holt clapped back. “Ah, Brown! Cooper! So nice of you to join our heist. Though I’m sorry to say you’ve found yourself on the losing team.” 

Harry and Ron both walked through the door and began exchanging greetings with everyone. “Wait, losing team? You just said yourself you didn’t know where the crown went!” Jake interrupted.

“And you seemed just as shocked as I was,” Holt commented.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Charles interjected. “Where is the crown? Who’s telling the truth?”

“Sergeant Jeffords?” Holt said, looking at Terry.

“Uh, sorry Captain, I got tied up with Sharon and the girls.” Terry shrugged.

“WHAT?!” Captain Holt shouted. 

“Ha ha!” Jake pumped his fist in the air. “Looks like you’re going to lose after all, Captain! Nolan and Jason here did what Terry couldn’t. Better choose wiselier next time!”

“Er, Jake, we don’t have it either,” Ron admitted. 

Jake’s premature celebrations were cut short. “What?”

“I snuck in to get it, but it was already gone,” Harry explained.

Jake’s furrowed brow quickly turned up and a smile plastered on his face. “Ah, I see what you’re doing. Very clever! Make them think we don’t have it. Don’t worry, Cooper, it’s hidden well enough so Holt we’ll never find it!” 

“No, really, Jake. We don’t have it,” Ron’s face was completely serious.

“But then—” Jake looked at Holt. “Who took it?”

“Check the security tapes!” Rosa said.

“Yes, quickly, we don’t have a lot of time!” Holt said.

The group moved around to the computers that had the security footage on it while Holt slipped into his office quickly. He pretended to shuffle papers on his desk, his back to the door as he asked, “Did you see anyone enter the breakroom?”

Albus spoke slowly. “I did see someone enter, but the scuffle of your squad blocked most of my view.”

Holt shook his head. “I should have anticipated the layout of the precinct.”

“I am sorry I couldn’t be of more assistance. I did see Harry and Ronald try and retrieve the crown, and their look of concern when it wasn’t there, however.”

“Harry and—oh, you mean Jason and Nolan. My apologies, I do try to forget their true identities. I must pretend I do not know of their existence, or I risk getting Kingsley into a deal of trouble.”

“Captain Holt, they found some—” Harry walked into the room followed closely by Ron. “Who are you talking to?”

“No one. Didn’t your superiors teach you to knock when entering a room?” Holt said quickly. 

“The door was open,” Ron said quickly. “What’s in the corner over there, Jason?”

“Nothing that pertains to you,” Holt said.

“It’s a disillusionment charm. Is someone there? Kingsley? Jake said you might enlist his help,” Ron said suspiciously.

“Now, now, boys, I can assure you I am not Minister Shacklebolt, but he did answer Captain Holt’s request for assistance,” came Dumbledore’s voice from the invisible spot in the corner.

“Professor Dumbledore?!” both boys gasped.

“Only in portrait form. You’ll never believe the lengths Kingsley had to go to in order to get Minerva to oblige. It’s been a nice vacation.”

Ron broke out into laughter. “Well played, Captain Holt. It’s a shame Jake can’t know.”

“Yes, well, I’m sure your reunion can continue later, but did you not say evidence has been uncovered?”

“Oh, yeah, let’s go,” Ron said as Harry and Holt followed.

“What janitor was on tonight?” Rosa asked.

“Should we check the dumpsters?” Charles suggested.

“What is this?” Captain Holt cut in.

“A janitor emptied the trash shortly after you put the crown there! Look, there’s a name tag.” Jake pointed to the screen.

“It says ‘Al’,” Harry pointed out.

“Does anyone know an Al?” Captain Holt asked to a sea of shaking heads.

“Someone has to know..” Charles thought out loud.

“The late night cleaner shift would have ended fifteen minutes ago,” Terry reminded them. “So Al’s not even here.”

“How are we supposed to find him, then?” Gina asked.

“Where’s the directory?” Holt said, looking at Gina.

“That? I threw it out.” Gina said unapologetically.

“Gina—” Terry was about to scold her for not holding onto important documents.

“Wait a minute,” Rosa cut in, “Who sends Christmas cards to everyone in the office?”

“Amy!” Jake said, immediately moving over to her desk. “A ha!” His finger skimmed the list of names and addresses. He secretly loved her organizational skills and knack for keeping things orderly. “Here it is!”

“How much time do we have?” Holt asked.

“Thirty minutes,” Charles said, checking his watch.

“His apartment’s only seven blocks away, we can make it!” Jake said. 

He froze briefly as he and Captain Holt both stared at each other. In a split second, they were both running for the elevator, followed by the other members of their teams. The group of eight ran the entire distance to the janitor’s apartment and quickly entered the building.

“The elevator’s broken!” Charles exclaimed as Jake was gasping for air, incredibly out of breath.

“How many...floors?” he asked between breaths.

“Seventeen,” Rosa said with an eye roll.

Holt and Jake shared another brief look before the race continued up seventeen flights of stairs. The rest of the teams followed closely behind. By the time they reached the seventeenth floor, Jake checked his watch.

“Ha! Ten minutes to spare. My lungs are on fire.” Jake said as he knocked on Al’s apartment door. 

A woman answered, looking rather annoyed.

“Hello, Ma’am,” Captain Holt said, cutting Jake’s greeting off. “Does Al live here? May we speak to him?”

“It’s really important. Will only take a second,” Jake added as the rest of the group was appearing now.

“He’s not here,” the woman said. “He went up to the roof.”

“What?” Jake asked, now leaning against the door jamb. 

“Sorry. If you want to talk to him, you’ll have to go up there.” The woman shut the door in their faces.

“That’s another fourteen flights of stairs,” Holt said.

“I’m pretty sure I’m gonna die,” Jake said dramatically.

“Good, you stay here and recover and I’ll go speak to Al,” Holt said as he started back towards the stairs.

“Not a chance!” Jake said, rallying his energy.

Eight minutes later, Jake and Holt burst through the door to the rooftop. “I...did it….was here….first!” Jake managed to say before he retched to the side. 

He was able to make it a few more paces as Holt called for Al. Jake threw up a second time as they looked around. 

“There’s no Al here,” came a voice. Someone in the same janitor’s outfit appeared from behind a corner.

“Ah, no! Ames, what are you doing?” Jake asked, clearly surprised.

“I’m here to tell you that neither of you won the heist this year.”

“Wait, what?” Rosa called as the rest of the group appeared through the doorway and came up behind Holt and Jake.

“This is preposterous! You don’t have the crown. Al does. Where is he?”

“It was me all along,” Amy said triumphantly.

“What do you mean?” Jake asked.

“Did you really think I wasn’t expecting the two of you to cast me off to the side this year? I used that to my advantage to take you both down.”

“What do you—” Jake started to say.

“For the past three months I made sure to drop hints of how much Captain Holt’s approval means to me whenever you’d bring up the heist,” she said to Jake, but quickly acknowledged Holt. “Which I do, by the way!”

Jake rolled his eyes. “That’s no different than normal. So what?”

“And I’d also manage to slip in a few words to Captain Holt about how well our relationship is going, so he’d think I’m more loyal to you,” Amy said as she nodded to Jake.

“But...you are, aren’t you?” Jake asked.

“Really? You’re asking me that when you wouldn’t even divulge any details of your plans?”

“And you wonder why I said I couldn’t trust you,” Jake mumbled.

“Can someone please explain what’s going on?” Terry cut in.

“I’m getting there, Sarge,” Amy said as she looked over to the rest of the group. “Oh, hey Nolan. Hey, Jason. I knew you’d call them in,” she said to Jake.

“No you didn’t,” Jake protested.

“Really? Then care to explain why else you’d wake up early in the morning and I’d hear you giggling at text message conversations? Did you really think I had no idea you’d included them in the whole thing? Honestly, it’s a little insulting. And how did you two get away from your wives for the day?” Amy asked.

Harry and Ron both looked guilty. “Er, we told them we were on a mission,” Ron said.

“...And you really think we believed that?” Hermione walked out from the same area Amy was hiding, followed by a second person.

Ron and Harry were white as a sheet. “Oh yeah, I called your wives in. Turns out Charlotte and Nolan are married, they just didn’t want us to know. And this is Lucy, Jason’s wife. Charlotte suggested she join our team.

“It’s about time I got to meet you all,” Ginny said with a genuine smile on her face. “It’s a shame, really, Jason. I could have been such a vital part of your team, but I guess you haven’t bothered to tell your American friends about me, have you?”

“It was a mission before. We don’t talk personal on missions,” Harry said through gritted teeth, worried she was going to give something away. Ginny shot him a look that said, ‘I’m not stupid, so bugger off.’

“Guys, come on, it’s late. Heists are dumb, anyways. Can we wrap this up?” Terry complained.

“Yes, I am quite interested in how Santiago pulled this off,” Holt chimed in.

“Right,” Amy said. “You’ve already heard the first part of my plan, which was to get both of you to not trust me for your teams. Once I knew Jake was bringing in Jason and Nolan, I recruited Charlotte and Lucy. Charlotte was staking out the opposite end of the hallway by the interrogation room and was keeping me updated on Jake’s plan, since we all know he has to make a move first..at least for the heists, anyways. But it was when I was playing the ‘hurt’ card and talking to Jake when I noticed Captain Holt was speaking at his desk, so I asked Lucy to investigate.”

“I crawled through the air ducts to find out what was going on. Turns out Holt had an extra spy of his own,” Ginny explained.

“I knew you’d call King!” Jake exclaimed.

“It wasn’t King. He used King’s connections to get a very important device to help spy on us. One that could see, hear, and talk to, but no one else could see.” Amy was being careful not to give the identity of the magic portrait away. She knew it was Dumbledore’s portrait, but Holt, Terry and Gina couldn’t know.

“No!” Jake shouted. He looked at Harry and Ron, who nodded. He’d sent them into Holt’s office to figure out who he was consulting, and they managed to slip him a text, telling him who it was. “Okay, Captain. I have to admit, that was a solid idea.”

“Thank you,” Holt said as he nodded.

“Anyways, Lucy also heard about Holt’s plan when he told Terry how he was going to steal the crown from your cabinet. You actually made it quite easy for me to get to it,” Amy commented.

“So you dressed up as Al and emptied the garbage,” Jake finished.

“Exactly. I knew you’d watch the security footage and use my address book to find Al’s address. Luckily, his wife was willing to play along in our charade. I did have more planned for Charlotte and Lucy, but you just made it too easy for us, so we’ve been celebrating our victory instead.”

“But then where is the crown now?” Holt asked.

“At Shaw’s, where my inauguration as ‘amazing detective/genius’ will be held,” Amy answered.

“Man, Ames, I love you. I’m impressed,” Jake said. It took him a moment to realize what he’d said.

“You—you do?” Amy asked, looking at him with wide eyes.

“What?” Jake asked, still not fully understanding what just happened.

Charles was squealing like a little girl in the background. “Jake just told Amy he loved her!”

“Oh, yeah, I guess I did,” Jake said with an awkward laugh.

“Did you mean it?” Amy asked.

“I—yeah, I did,” Jake admitted. 

It wasn’t his intention to tell her how he felt in front of the entire precinct as well as his wizard friends, but it was too late now. Amy’s face broke into a sweet smile and it looked like she was trying not to cry. “Aw, I love you too, Jake.”

He walked over and kissed her as everyone whooped and cheered. When he broke apart, she looked him squarely in the eyes. “Don’t think for a second I’m giving you that crown,” she said fiercely.

Everyone laughed. “I wouldn’t dream of it. You won, fair and square. Could you carry me down to the first floor, though? I don’t think my legs can walk back down thirty one flights of stairs.”

Amy, Charlotte and Lucy all laughed. “What’s so funny?” Ron asked.

“I forgot to tell you. The elevator isn’t broken! We just put a sign up to make you take the stairs. We knew it’d buy us enough time until midnight,” Amy said with a triumphant smile on her face.

“My girlfriend’s evil and I love it,” Jake said. 

“Can we get to Shaw’s now?” Rosa asked, trying to push things along.

“To Shaw’s!” Jake agreed, as they all made their way to the elevator.

~o~

“All hail the crown of destiny!” Jake said as he placed the crown on Amy’s head. “And she who wears it. Amy Santiago, the—”

“Queen!” Amy interjected.

“—Queen of the 99,” Jake finished.

“And?” Amy asked, waiting patiently.

Holt and Jake both inhaled before saying, “Amy Santiago is an amazing detective/genius.”

Everyone clapped and enjoyed their drinks. Ron leaned over to Hermione and said, “So, how much trouble are we in for lying?”

“I think we can let it slide, considering we won,” Hermione said as she nodded to Ginny.

“Er, Lucy, where are the kids?” Harry asked.

“Bill and Fleur have them,” Ginny said, “And George and Angelina took Rose and Hugo.”

Harry and Ron nodded as Ron changed the subject, satisfied the kids were in good hands. Not that he’d have anything to worry about with his family on standby. “Nice of them to include us in this, yeah?” 

“Yes, it’s nice to see them again. Though, we shouldn’t make this regular. We’re already pushing it with how much they know,” Hermione chided.

“You’re probably right. It’s a shame Dumbledore can’t join us,” Harry said.

“Oh, yeah, have Holt walk right in with his portrait. Wouldn’t that be a sight!” Ron sniggered.

“I already messaged Kingsley, telling him we knew about his involvement, and he’s free to pick the portrait up,” Harry said.

“I can’t believe McGonagall even agreed to it!” Ginny added.

The conversation shifted as members from the squad came over and joined them. It was a happy reunion of the two teams, even knowing they couldn’t make a habit of it. The trio resolved to enjoy the night before returning back to England in the morning as they sipped on their drinks. Jake was filling Ginny in on the things Harry neglected to tell her about their time in New York City a few months back, including the infamous precinct chant. As if on cue, Ginny got to witness the chant firsthand.

Terry held up his glass and yelled, “NINE-NINE!” 

“NINE-NINE!”

[mymanyissues]

@ my madd: do you think you coulduhhhhh leave me alone for one single hour to revise for this really important exam? Thought not, thanks anyways

[birdwonder]

Hi! I've been watching Brooklyn 9-9 and I just had a thought: a detective!reader who's like Jake Peralta 80-90% of the time (and who's also a stand-user) with Bruno. Maybe reader helped him when he was injured but didn't know that he's a part of mafia but then boom, they meet again when reader went undercover maybe, so reader is just ":0!!!" Sorry if it's weird, have a nice day/night!

|| so sorry this took so long ! i tried to watch some Jake Peralta scenes to help me since i haven’t watched Brooklyn 99 before but i didn’t really capture his character at all. the mood of this story is like. entirely different from the request and i didn’t add the stand user part bc i forgot- sorry!  it was meant to be better but somehow my tab deleted with my first version of the story. :,) honestly i’d be happy to try again for a more light hearted story if you want to request again!

Bruno Bucciarati | Second Meetings

“Truth be told, I never wanted us meeting like this,” he confessed, wine glass in hand while he purposefully turned it in circular motions to watch the red liquid swirl. It was like you - rouge lips, red dress and the perfect pair of heels to match.

“Honestly, I didn’t think we’d meet again.” You laughed softly, your own wine glass empty and placed on the balcony’s fence. The moon was full and the night was far from cloudy. A perfect excuse not to look at him, not yet at least. Let it all sink in first.

You had waited endless days, months and almost a year to be given an assignment as important as this; the amount pleading and begging you had done was unmeasurable. Of course this is what you wanted, ever since you become an official rookie cop. No - ever since you were old enough to realise the truths of the country you lived in.

Here, the weak are preyed on and the wealthy get away with it all. Street thugs to Mafia members go unpunished while others suffer for their wrong doings, and it’s the furthest thing from fair. That’s why you committed not only your heart but every moment of your life training to become the person you are now, a police officer who can at the very least help a town become a safer place for everyone who lives in it and visits.

Still, you never expected to be in a situation like this.

When you had asked your boss to give you a more important task outside of street patrol and parking ticket duty, you were expecting to be sent to do arrests and investigate some crime scenes, but you were sent on the cheesiest mission in the world. None of your coworkers even expected it, seeing you - the woman who sent the whole station into a riot on your first day just by cracking a couple of jokes - in a dress that showed more than what a modest person could imagine.

The plan was to investigate the members attending a party that only the ‘underground’ members of society could attend, try to overhear any plans, find out the statuses of some mafioso’s and if you were lucky, talk to a Capo. Gain their trust and let them have something slip. You just had to be careful they you weren’t found out and killed. They were the sort of men and women who were merciless when outsiders tried to interfere with their business and you being a cop wouldn’t help at all.

When you entered the party hall, well decorated and filled, you instantly knew this was going to be harder than it initially seemed. ‘There’s no way I could find out anything just by asking questions, it’s too suspicious. I’ll just drink and blend in until I can strike up casual conversation,’ you explained to yourself as you approached a silk covered table, glasses filled with all sorts of beverages on top.

Wine seemed like a good choice, you weren't much of a drinker at all but whatever calmed the nerves! If it did at all. Again, you weren’t much of a drinker. You threw your head back as your lips pressed against the rim of the glass and downed all of what the glass contained in seconds - the flavour barely hitting your tongue and the drink simply running down your throat. Something fizzy was definitely better.

A low, impressed whistle was then let out, followed with a few claps and a voice, “impressive. I can’t say I’ve seen anyone here finish a drink as fast as you have!”

That was the start of leading you to your current predicament.

“You still have that middle aged woman hair cut I see.” Light teasing, nothing truly offensive and even he chuckled a little, head shaking at your comment. You had described it just like that when you first met, insulting him at first until you apologised sincerely and cracked some self deprecating joke about your own messy hair.

His lips held onto the rim of the glass and slowly the wine was disappearing. He seemed calm and relaxed but even he would be a bit on edge in a situation like this.

Bruno knew you were a cop, a truly good hearted one at that, you had told him about it the day you met and proved it through your conversation and actions alone. That was the problem however, being a police officer while he was the Capo you were looking for. It was a tragedy you two met again like this, and he knew you couldn’t leave this place without something to help the police force. You just had to help others in some way. He didn’t know many people who would help him out in a situation like the last.

It must have been a month ago, more or less, and he had fallen by your doorstep due to exhaustion from who knows what; he never told you after all. You never asked questions though. When he awakened, you can imagine his surprise to find himself in a stranger’s home with a woman only feet away, humming to herself as she prepared a meal. That was one of the more noticeable things about your home, how close everything was together.

“Where am I?” He asked out loud, knowing that keeping a level head would be the better option instead of panicking right off that bat. Thankfully, it had caught your attention and you rushed to his side immediately, checking to see if he was alright before explaining to him how he had passed out in front of your home. It was confusing but the pieces came together quickly. Right before blacking out, Bruno was going against a stand user who was trying to climb the ranks of the mafia and though he had succeeded in winning, the exhaustion of the battle had gotten to him too quick to comprehend.

“Name’s [F/N] by the way, I’m a cop so don’t worry about me doing anything shifty while you were asleep! Your outfit’s a bit too whack to touch anyways.”

It was just his luck that a police officer was the one who had helped him.

Still, he was grateful and even more so when you started offering him the food you were making.

“I’m Bruno, a pleasure Miss [F/N].” Better not use last names.

When you parted ways, you jokingly pouted at him, “need to go so soon? I was just about to get used to you being my new room mate, bob cut.”

“How sweet you of, perhaps I’ll be seeing you later,” he laughed, detesting the nickname while simultaneously appreciating your light-hearted and humorous nature.

“I hope that’s more of a promise than a farewell!”

Luck wasn’t kind to him again. Seeing you here like this was a curse, a mistake, anything that he could easily say was the cause of the small break in his heart. It was wrong to even feel that pain, you didn’t deserve a gangsta. Not when you were so purely justice driven.

“So you really are a capo, hm?” You didn't sound angry nor disgusted. More detached if anything, which you were. You wanted to let go of this reality and assume this was a dream mixed with a nightmare.

Now two empty glasses resided on the balcony, along with two young adults who just didn’t know where to go from here, Bruno only nodding in response to your question.

A small sigh left your lips, shaky from either the cold whipping against your exposed skin to which you tried to cover by crossing your arms, or from the nerves. “You’re not going to um-“ Noticing your shivering, Bruno had moved closer beside you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer towards him so that he could shield you from the wind. Not entirely effective but the gesture threw you off from the horrific question you were going to ask.

He answered anyways. “Kill you? No, no, I don’t even think about hurting those you don’t deserve it. [F/N], you’re a good person. A sweet one who shouldn’t be risking herself by coming here and yet you have. I respect you far more than I show - you have to leave soon before someone notices you.”

You shook your head in response to that. You couldn’t leave! Not yet, not when you barely had any information to report. You had gotten this far, you just had to find something good, something worth knowing. “Bruno I can’t! I have to stay, just for a bit longer!”

“And risk someone finding you out?” He sounded harsh, just for a second. He softened once he noticed your worry. “I’m sorry, but you can’t just risk yourself like that. I’m going to get you out of here.”

“Bruno…”

“If it helps. Some people have been talking about terrorising the main street in a week’s time. Scare off the locals and rob what they can before anyone tries to stop them so,”

“Beef up the patrol there and we should be good,” you finished for him. It wasn’t exactly ‘take down the mafia’ intel but the fact you were alive was a miracle. “Thank you. I- I’m glad there’s at least some good in gangs, even if you seem like you’d be a better cop.” Your smile was thanks enough to him. How unfair of the moon to highlight your face like an angel’s when he should be telling it ‘goodbye.’

“Call us even, for last time.” His arm around your shoulders then lowered to be around your waist, guiding you away from the balcony and back inside, voice much lower now. “Let’s get you out of here now, if anyone asks I’ll just say you were my date who had to leave early.”

You giggled at that, “your ‘date’?”

“Hey, it makes for a good story. Plus, it makes me look good too, having a beauty like you on my side.”

Neither of you should be joking like this, the attachment was wrong. It wasn’t stopping you though, the two of you continuing to chortle at each other’s words. Quipping back, you teased him, “I don’t know if they’ll know which of us is meant to be the woman here, bob cut.”

When you were by the exit, you two made the mistake of looking into each other’s eyes, you taking a moment to appreciate his blue orbs and him doing the same with your own.

Pulling away from each other’s gaze was harder than you thought it would be. You tried to play it off by snapping your head to the side and faked a cough. “So I guess it’s goodbye again now, right?”

Bruno was looking elsewhere too. He seemed more interested in a potted plant or the wall when really he could only think of you. “Well, for now maybe. If we’re lucky, I’ll be seeing you soon.”

Was this excitement? Compose yourself, [F/N]! You were still on the job. “Make it next Friday soon, you know where to find me.” So much for composure, you were smiling.

“It’s a date.”

[colourcodedbinders]

Alright, frick.

I really, really hoped it wouldn’t have to come to this. (hold on tight, this is gonna be long. Really long. Super long.)

Chances that our show is coming back are looking bleak. Maybe, in two weeks times, we will have seen the last of these characters that we love oh so much. Maybe, in two weeks time, we’ll hear the last “title of your sex tape,” the last “cool cool cool cool cool”. But that doesn’t need we need to mourn the end of it. The last thing Brooklyn 99 has given us is loss.

With Brooklyn, each and every one of us has gained something. To some, it is joy, to others, it is hope, to others yet, it is courage, and to the rest, it is just pure, unadulterated laughter. it has given us honest, meaningful storylines. It has given us characters that we will undoubtedly love for the remainder of our lives. It’s given us so much that no matter how hard we try, we won’t be able to forget.

It has given us Holt, an openly gay black commanding officer, who was never once, in five years, put down because of his race or sexual orientation. Holt has proven time and again that with hard work, dedication, and honesty, although the immediate results don’t always seem to be the best ones, it all falls into place eventually. Holt has fought for himself time and again, has been the epitome (ooh, nice use of epitome babe) tenacity and courage and a dogged soldier for what is right throughout the series. That isn’t going away. That is staying with us forever.

It has given us Gina, who is proud and unashamed of herself. Gina, who teaches self love and acceptance like no one else, ever. Gina, who grown from a somewhat superficial doink to an accomplished woman with ambitions and goals. She’s grown into a wonderful friend, sister, and mother. Gina isn’t going away. She’s with us always. (After all, Gina Linetti is a state of mind, right?)

It’s given us Charles Boyle, who proves that traditional masculinity isn’t at all what makes a man. Charles Boyle, who is unbelievably kind, selfless, and loving. Charles who has a son and makes him his utmost priority. Charles who will support his loved ones at any cost, who will do anything to protect them from harm, who will quite literally try to sell his soul if it means keeping his loved ones happy. Charles, who teaches that awkward isn’t bad. In fact, it’s a little cool. Charles won’t ever leave us either. He within us, in our hearts.

It’s given us Terry, who takes the scary big man stereotype and flips it on its fricking head. Terry is a man as gentle on the inside as he is tough on the outside, who cares unconditionally for his loved ones and who only ever use violence as a last resort. Terry, who has thre daughters and never once complained, and instead openly talks about how they’re the best thing that have ever happened to him. Terry won’t leave us. He couldn’t if he tried. (Which he wouldn’t.)

It’s given us Amy Santiago, the badass nerd. The ambitious teacher’s pet who stops at nothing to get what she wants. Amy’s made fun of a lot, but never, never is she told (by anyone other than the teasing Gina) not to dream so big, not to aim for the sky. Quite the opposite, really, Amy is told time and again that her determination is her greatest asset, that she’s too good not to dream, that she’s a massive, useful tool. Amy won’t ever leave us. None of us will ever let her.

It’s given us Hitchcock and Scully, the useless buffoons who sometimes prove that they too, are competent where it matters. Hitchcock and Scully teach an important lesson when it comes to loyalty, never leaving each other’s side and trusting each other fully. They are also quite often used as an asset to the team when in the midst of planning or executing a scheme, proving to everyone everywhere that no one is ever totally useless, no matter what it seems. We might maybe want to forget Hitchcock and Scully, but they won’t ever let us forget them. (But really, who wants to forget them?)

It’s given us Rosa Diaz, our badass bisexual biker girl with a heart of gold, Our secretive, scary detective who grew, over time, into a woman who has learned to become emotionally vulnerable in front of those she loves and trusts, without ever losing essence of her personality. Our beautiful, successful, happy character who just so happens to be a part of the LGBT community, whose coming out wasn’t just a flash in the distance, who openly said the words “I’m bisexual” and defended them when faced with her conservative parents. Rosa isn’t only hard to forget; she’s damn near impossible to.

It’s given us Jake Peralta. Jake Peralta the broken, immature man who’s only ever had his job. It let us watch him grow and evolve into someone so much happier, more mature, less selfish, more open and vulnerable and trusting. It’s shown us through Jake, and everyone else, that happy endings are real. That they happen, that all you need to do is find the right circumstances for it.

It’s given us the healthiest couple on television, the healthiest friendships, a family dynamic that quite honestly deserves a post of its own. It’s given us likable characters who weigh in on real issues, who defend our rights, who voice our thoughts, who show us what we’d like to end up as. In its five years, Brooklyn 99 has done nothing but give. 

Last night, we tried to give back. We tried to save it. We did our part, and we’re still doing it, refusing to go down without a fight, but it’s important for us to step back and appreciate all that the show’s given us and realize that at the end, we aren’t really losing anything. All we’ve done in the past years is gain. Gain laughs, gain friends, gain hope and admiration for the world around us. 

Whether Brooklyn 99 comes back or not, it’s important for us to see that it’s never actually going anywhere.

P.S. Watch the next two episodes on F*x and make sure to enjoy them; they’re sure to be amazing. 

(the fact that even after this doozy of a post, I still have more to say about the show is a little baffling to me y’all)

[fangirlsarecool]

So Unprofessional - Jake Peralta x Reader

Based around the episode “The Road Trip”. Enjoy! Also on AO3. My other one shots start here.

Holt came over to you and Jake. The two of you had been going over your open cases at Jake's desk before you set off for a prison transfer. You would have preferred to stay and work the cases but you couldn’t refuse the instructions of your CO. "Morning, detectives. Let's go over the prisoner transfer upstate." he requested. You closed your file and looked to him. "The perp is called Jesse Hermick. Arrested for nine counts of armed robbery but he skipped bail." you informed him. "He was just picked up in Neustadter, New York, trying to pay for a hoagie with a gun." Jake added.

"The sheriff said we have to pick him up tomorrow morning at 6:30. We're going up today and spending the night." you finished. Holt nodded, handing out a file to you. "Here are the transfer forms. Please don't--" "Get any Jake on them?" you posed, taking it from him. "They'll be in my safe hands the whole time, sir. Maybe I should put them in a bag in my overnight bag." "That's a good call." Jake reached beneath his desk and pulled out a bottle. "All the drinks I'm taking are blue." You grimaced; anything with artificial colours was a huge no-no for you. "Naturally." Holt said. He looked to you. "Call me if you need anything." You nodded. "Yes, sir." He took his leave, heading to his office. You went over to your desk and put the forms into your overnight bag. "Hey, I hope this is cool with you, but since we're not technically on duty 'til tomorrow morning, I invited Sophia to join me upstate," Jake told you, "The B&B we're staying at looks really nice. It's almost like it's haunted by fancy ghosts." You smiled. "Why would I mind?" Of course, you really did mind. It wasn’t anything to do with Sophia; she seemed nice, even if she was a defence attorney. You had just been hoping to spend some one-on-one time with him. The truth of the matter was, you fancied Jake. You moved from a precinct in Manhattan about a year ago and he had been partnered with you on your first case at the 99. It had helped you remember how fun police work could actually be. The two of you went for a drink once the case was solved. He'd told you how his dad left him when he was a kid and you'd told him how your mom had done the same. There were many differences between you but you felt you'd found a kindred spirit. And from that moment on, your heart had leeched itself to him. "I just thought all the romantic stuff might be awkward. You know, because of whatever girl your pining over." Raising an eyebrow, you walked back over to his desk. "I'm not pining over anyone." you assured. "And why do you assume it's a girl?" "I've just never seen you get this fixated on a guy before. Remember the girl from the grocery store?" he explained.

You went bright red. "I only mentioned her once." Jake scoffed. "Yeah. Once a day." You shook your head and sighed. "For the record, it's a guy." His eyes widened. "Who is it? Do I know him? Is it Charles?" he probed. You could barely mask the unattractive snort that the thought elicited. "It's not Boyle." "Well, whoever he is, he must be special." A warmth washed through your body. "He is." You tore yourself from his gaze, walking to your desk and grabbing your bag. "You finish up. I'm gonna wait in the car." "Alright. I'll be out in a sec." You nodded, pulling the bag up onto your shoulder and walking out of the bullpen. Once the elevator doors closed, you had to resist the urge to smack your head against them. Hard. Jake was going to bombard you with questions in the car and the more he knew, the more likely he was going to figure out who the 'mystery guy' was. And that would not end well.

It barely took five minutes for Jake to start his bombardments. You managed to dodge the first few of his questions until he asked, "Is it someone from the 99?" Your heartbeat sped up and your palms grew sweaty. He was sure to work out it was him (if he ruled out those not in the 'inner circle'). "I know you said it was a guy but I've seen you making eyes at Rosa and…" You couldn’t help but laugh. "You think I like Rosa?" you wheezed, "I mean, she's gorgeous. But she's freaking terrifying." "Point taken." he replied, chuckling a little. "It's definitely no-one on the squad, then. Unless it's me." Luckily, you had enough residual laughter to brush it off though you could feel your cheeks burning up your face. "Jake Peralta, the only way you will ever find out is if I get drunk enough to lose my filter. Which will never happen." A smirk grew on his face. "Never say never, (y/n). We're not on duty until tomorrow." You shook your head. "So unprofessional." you sighed. "Am not. I do most of my paperwork and I wear a tie sometimes." "Sometimes I wonder how you even reached detective status." "Because I'm a badass hero and the commissioner's always like 'Peralta, you're Brooklyn's number one. Take all the cases'. " He paused before explaining, "It was a dream I had once. John McClane gave me the Medal of Valor. Kate Hudson was there. Also the Ninja Turtles." You chuckled. "You have a weird brain." "So do you. Because you're pining over Terry? Gina? Amy? Holt?" he suggested, his voice growing more exasperated with each name. "I'm not gonna tell you, Jake. And you're never gonna work it out."

"Come on, (y/n), I'm Brooklyn's number one. I'm gonna find out." You shook your head again, something you found yourself doing a lot whenever Jake talked. Placing your head against the window, you watched the scenery whiz by in a blur of colour. And you hoped to God that Jake would give up on trying to figure your secret out.

Sophia was already at the B&B when you and Jake arrived. "Hey." you greeted. "Hi, (y/n)." she replied with a smile. You went to the check-in desk to get the key to your room. "I have a room booked under (y/l/n)." you told the man at the desk. He typed your name into the computer then looked at you for the first time with a bright smile. "Of course, ma'am. I'll just get your key." He turned to the board behind him. For some annoying reason, you couldn’t help but tune into Jake and Sophia's conversation. "I got us the room of a thousand dolls." she finished. "Oh, sounds creepy." he remarked. "Super creepy." They both chuckled. "So I'm gonna go unpack, and then I'm gonna take a bath, and then we have dinner, and then--" "Doin' it." You had to stop yourself from reacting to his indelicacy. "I was gonna say dessert." "Oh. Synonym. Cool. Better." You felt so stupid; you were a grown woman, wishing you were the one having failed innuendos with Jake instead of Sophia. It was as if you were in high school again, pretending in your head that you were strong enough to hold up the main cheerleader in the pyramid. You couldn’t really blame young you for that - the girl had some pretty strong arms. "Ma'am?" You were dragged back to reality by the concierge holding your room key out to you. "Thank you." you said. "Enjoy your stay! And don't forget to try one of our famous mapletinis!" You smiled weakly before turning to the couple. "We're gonna go up to settle in." Jake told you. You nodded. "Cool. I'm um…" You tried to think of something to do that wasn’t staying holed up in your room all night. "Gonna hit the bar. Try a mapletini." you fabricated. "Hey, I'll join you if you want." Every fibre of your being was telling you to say yes but instead you found yourself saying, "It's fine. I'm sure you and Sophia have got stuff you wanna do." Jake turned to his girlfriend and whispered something. She nodded. "I'll see you later, (y/n)." You smiled as she went upstairs. "Is everything alright?" Jake asked, "Just tell me if I pushed things too far with the whole 'who do you fancy' thing. I'm just really--" You butted in. "It's fine. I'm fine." you reassured. Jake wasn’t an idiot (most of the time); you knew he knew something was off but you also knew he wouldn’t pry. "You're sure?" You nodded. "Absolutely. I'll join you for dinner, if you're lucky." You chuckled awkwardly. Get it together, you told yourself. "Go have fun with Sophia. I promise you I'm fine." "Excuse me, sir? Can you call room 14 for me and tell him to get his butt down here? This place is about to get turnt and he's gonna miss out." "Ma'am, we've already placed the call. He said he'll be down in a moment." Somehow, one mapletini had turned into two. After the second drink, everything became a bit fuzzy. But at least you were having a good time now and not constantly thinking about what Jake and Sophia were doing. "Thank you…" Your voice trailed off as you peered at the bartender's name badge. "M…m…marrow? Mermaid? Mervin?" "It's Meredith." she corrected. You shook your head defiantly. "I'm pretty sure it says marrow." You paused before a really good idea popped into your head. "Can you do me favour, marrow?" you asked. "It's Meredith." she repeated with a heavy sigh. "Whatever. I need you to call room 14. Tell him that our perp is in this hotel and we can take him back to the 99 now." You jabbed you finger down on the bar to emphasise the urgency. "Ma'am, I've already called room 14. And as I said before, the man at the other end told me he'd be down in a moment." She moved down the bar, probably to take someone else's order. Following her down, you dropped into the seat in front of her, preventing her from moving on. "His name's Jake." you told her with enthusiasm. "He's got sparkly eyes and a great butt. And really strong arms. Or maybe that was the cheerleader." "(Y/n)?" Your head whipped round so fast that you probably could have given yourself whiplash. You gasped. "That's him." you whispered to the bartender. She grunted before moving to the next customer. "Jakey!" you whooped, hopping off your stool and skipping over to him. "Are you drunk?" he queried, his amusement of the situation written all over his face, "I thought you were just having one mapletini?" "I did. But then I fancied another one. I had a glass of wine after that. It was fruity…I think. And then," You lowered your voice, "I stole someone's shots." He tried and failed to fight the grin on his face. "I may have been waiting a long time to see drunk you," he began, "But we have to be up early tomorrow. Isn't that 'so unprofessional'?" He made his voice higher at the end. He was mocking you. You scoffed and raised an eyebrow. "That was supposed to be me? I can do a way better me than you can." You cleared your throat loudly as if Jake was supposed to expect something amazing. "So unprofessional." you said, changing nothing about your voice. He chuckled. "Okay. That was cute." You were sure you were blushing but the room was already so hot that you couldn’t tell. "Let's get you to bed." He placed a guiding arm around your waist and it was as if you could feel every single chemical reaction exploding inside you like tiny fireworks. It was a good job he was helping you as your legs had turned to jelly. Looking up at him with a sort of dazed smile, you remarked, "You're looking after me." "Of course I am. That's what friends are for." he replied with a warm smile. The fireworks inside of you died off - all of them clumping together and sinking to the bottom of your stomach. Before you had any idea what was happening, words came tumbling out of your mouth. "I hate it when you say that." you admitted. His face fell and you instantly regretted your words. "Say what?" Apparently, there was no stopping you now. "That we're friends." His brow furrowed. "You don’t like that we're friends?" You shook your head. "No, I do. But I don't." And when his brow creased even further, you found yourself saying, "I want us to be more." His expression didn’t change. You didn’t know whether he'd heard you. "It's you, Jake," you continued, "The mystery man. The hang-up. The special guy." The look on his face was unreadable but you didn’t know if that was because you were drunk. "You like me?" he uttered.

"Well, duh." you replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And today was supposed to be about us. We were gonna play ping-pong, drink mapletinis and see if we could find any fancy ghosts." Realising how much you sounded like a whiny, jealous bitch, you stopped. Something gurgled in your stomach but you chose to ignore it. For once, it seemed Jake was speechless. "You laughed when I suggested it was me." he said. "But I didn’t say no. Why do you think I was so cut up about you going undercover? Why do you think I always volunteer to check over your paperwork? I let you drink blue drinks in my car." Your stomach gurgled again and something shifted inside you. You started to giggle. "What?" Jake asked confused. "I'm about to throw up on your shoes." you tittered. And, before he could even react, you did exactly that.

You slumped into the car seat, placing your sunglasses back on. Why, oh why, did you drink last night? Of course, you knew the exact answer to this and couldn’t bear to remind yourself of it. You’d been so stupid and now you were paying the price. Jake shut his door, the sound reverberating through your skull, after securing the perp in the backseat. “You did a pretty good job of not seeming hungover.” he chuckled.

You groaned. “Turn off your mouth siren.” “I’m sorry. Is it too loud for you?” he replied, raising his voice. You cringed away; it felt like someone was just hammering away at your brain. “Jake.” you whined. He reached for the drink holder and held out a bottle to you. “Want some blue?” You stared at the bright blue liquid for a moment before taking it from him. Unscrewing the lid, you considered if a dry mouth was good enough excuse to stoop this low. But after last night, you didn’t think that was physically possible. Jake watched in wonderment as you chugged at least half the bottle. “Wow. Last night really broke you, huh?” You nodded. “I only stopped throwing up about an hour before we left.” There was a pause. You watched as he opened his mouth then closed it again, contemplating whether or not to say something. Knowing that whatever he wanted to say would be a stain on your character from last night, you jumped in. “I know this goes without saying but I’d really appreciate it if you don’t tell Holt.” you requested. “Of course. I’ve done way worse when I’ve been on duty.” You raised an eyebrow. “Worse than getting drunk, puking on your partner’s shoes then turning up for a prison transfer hungover?” “Good point.” The hesitant air settled in the car again and you watched Jake’s jaw shift before speaking. “So, last night you said something to me.” Your heart leapt up into your throat and your face burned bright red. “I did?” you choked out, sincerely hoping drunk you hadn’t spilled your secrets to him. “Yeah. You…um… told me how you wished we could have spent time together yesterday." You didn’t think your face had ever been so red; drunk you sounded like a needy toddler. "Oh, God. Jake, I am so sorry." You paused before adding, "Did I say why?" He shook his head and you sighed with relief. "You just said I was a funny guy then vommed on my shoes." You covered your face with your hands and groaned again - Jake was never going to let you forget that. "How are your shoes, by the way?" you asked, muffled by your hands. "Oh, they were past their best about two months ago. Picked these up in lost and found. They'll do." You lowered your hands and peered at his shoes. They were illuminous colours and someone had drawn flowers all over the white fabric. "Yeah. Until we get back." you said. "Oh, no. They'll do until they fall apart. Or someone throws up on them again." The two of you laughed. "Anyway, because we missed out on time together, I want to make it up to you." he offered. Your heart swelled as you stuttered, "Oh, Jake…y…you don’t…" "(Y/n), this idea took me forever. Let me have this." You sighed but kept schtum. "You and I are gonna have ourselves a good old competition off. I was thinking we could go to that arcade your brother used to take you to. It'll have air hockey, shooter games and probably some dance machines." Eyes wide, you looked to him with a small smile - he'd remembered about the arcade. "But it's in Manhattan." "We both have a day off next week, yeah?" You pushed your sunglasses up onto your head. "And you want to spend it with me?" You were completely gob-smacked; the endorphins were rushing through you. Jake must have been the most thoughtful guy you'd ever met. "It may surprise you to know that I like spending time with you." The familiar feeling of fireworks set off inside you. "I like spending time with you too." Jake gave you a quick glance and the look on your face confirmed that what you'd said last night was true. It seemed it wasn’t so hard to get you to spill your secrets after all.