#i don't even feel like i'm being frivolous my money is literally going to a) replacing knickers i sized out of

[lapeaudelamemoire]

Okay. I did my shopping at the place that has the one sale like once a year and also because I pinch pennies about this signed up to the rewards/loyalty system. I have gotten 10 emails or something now because I get a fucking email every time I 'earn points' by doing something like clicking on a thing. I mean, good to know, but also, g-d-fucking-damn it's so fucking annoying ARGH

Plus clicking on all those things didn't let me use my money off reward in conjunction with the discount sale code so what was even the point. Ugh.

[kiefbowl]

I know you're probably sick of hearing about amazon in general but I just want to mention that their impact on the environment is truly worst than most people think. I work somewhere that process Amazon returns and it makes me genuinely disgusted at some people's consumerism. I'm talking about people bringing back litteral dozens of amazon parcels on a weekly basis. Clearly they had no intention of keeping those things, they just love getting a new package and opening it. It's not a rare behavior either. The return process uses a ton of fuel (much more than if they were juste returning something to their local store) and just as much plastic (seriously, I know it doesn't look like that much but I tried to imagine how much tape was used on a daily basis just for amazon returns and it made me sick to my stomach. And that's just the tape...). Anyway, I'm venting at this point but you're 1000% correct, amazon is trash and I don't trust anyone selfish enough to defend it.

yeah :( part of the problem is that "hauls" are now a type of online content. people buy stuff to open it on camera to their followers with no real intention of keeping any of it. it's an indefensible way to behave tbh. someone buying a couple of cheapo pants off shein a couple times of year isn't great but it's better than buying stuff every week so you have boxes to open on camera. you can't act that way and call yourself radical or leftist or marxist or whatever left leaning words people want to use as identity markers. like we can't get around buying stuff sometimes and I don't want to live in a world where nothing exists, even fun frivolous stuff - but the fact that so many people act like "well if I want something what exactly can I do besides buy it??" as some sort of defense to buying things when...you could literally want less and maybe explore why you constantly want things and maybe realize you are being manipulated by marketing. if you use your airfryer every day and plan on keeping it clean and working for 10 years, that's awesome. if you bought it because you saw 17 reels online about it being cool and only used it twice, you could have kept your money and done a little elbow grease (barely) to go look up how to cook those things with the stove and oven you have. if you feel like you need to avoid repeating outfits all month, maybe think about who actually benefits from you thinking like that. so if you see yourself as so left you're off the spectrum, you really should be trying the best you can to buy less and optimize more. and as a hint, like you say, if you're returning stuff constantly, you're not doing so hot. imo ;)

[decolonize-the-everything]

Grabbing strangers by the scruff and shaking them.

Yes it's your right to drop $400 on a $10 checkmark or shoes or earrings while people are fucking starving and at threat of being homeless. Yes $400 is literally like half of my rent and you're just spending it on a static 10 pixel checkmark... that's you're right

But I think I should get to fucking kill you. That should be MY right.

Like mask off? I'm done playing with these privileged rich folk while the rest of us beg on Facebook and GoFundMe and Tumblr and Reddit. And I'm tired of them hiding behind everyone saying "yes but the upper-middle class isn't our enemy"

The fuck it's not.

When Jacob and Leighanne scroll past my donation posts but then drop half my rent on a shitty digital check design... And then don't show up to protests or even sign up for a shift at the community kitchen... They haven't made themselves my enemy? For real???

I'm just supposed to Not take it personally that people who noticed I exist and saw me struggling chose to give money to a multi-millionaire instead?

And the thing is that it's not just me is it? I'm not the only person this happens to.

Poverty is systemic. Which means it's an issue being ignored systemically, too. These behaviors are not unrelated to each other.

"they're not your enemy"

Pass, go try gaslighting someone else. If they want some solidarity from me then it's time to quite literally put their money where their mouth is. The same way trust is a give a take.

And some of y'all, specifically the people who don't donate but sit there arguing in their favor like "well it's their money..." are genuinely starting to echo pro-lifers saying "yeah I believe all human life has value... But that responsibility should be someone else's problem, not mine."

Like sure they have a right to make trivial purchases but I think you should be defending my right to exist and not be homeless before you try making a stand in the name of frivolous spending.

Make sure we have UBI then tell people they can spend money how they want.

"they aren't your enemy"

Objectively not true, they aren't helping ME out, just the status quo. Which is actually precisely the thing harming me :)

"people deserve nice things"

Yeah, but I think their baseline needs should be taken care of first. Like the actual human needs they have should be priority before say a $250 bong is your priority, right?

And like be fucking for REAL, these people have nice things. They don't need you trying to justify anything for them I promise. They already feel entitled to leave us for dead in the name of some dumbass checkmark, I promise they don't need you reinforcing their lack of a human conscious as "well deserved"

They have the same rights as the rest of us and while so many of us struggle so hard for scraps I find it hard to be chill that so many of you wanna cape for Jacob and Leighanne's 35th checkmark instead.

Everyone gets a slice before Anyone should get two.

Eat my shit.

[lakynofficial]

The Democratization of Overconsumption

When I hear "democratization of fashion" I see a world where you don't have to go to expensive fashion school to be considered a legitimate fashion creator or expert. I see a world where LVMH and Kering brands et al aren't the end-all-be-all of what's considered luxury or high design. I see a world where someone making dresses in their living room can be seen as a visionary on the same level as (or maybe even surpass) the decorated creative director with a team of dozens and millions in investor money.

What I don't see is a world where every fashion item, every inkling of creativity in the world, is knocked off, cheapened, and sold to the masses so that it can be bought, worn (maybe) and discarded all in a matter of days or weeks. But that seems to be what the rest of the world--or at least a very vocal portion of it on social media--understands it to be.

The bastardization of legitimate, longstanding language is nothing new: "There's no ethical consumption under capitalism" has become the go-to battle cry to justify mindless buying from brands that are both objectively terrible and almost if not entirely avoidable. Yet, there's something so insidious about the way the proliferation of fast fashion has encouraged so many to replace their identities with purchases and critical thinking with convenience.

Here's an anecdote that I promise is going somewhere: anytime I talk about sustainability on Twitter, there's at least one borderline troll who weaponizes my job as a stylist or my love of fashion as some sort of "gotcha" to imply I'm a hypocrite in some way. There have been times when I've explained that my work and life as both a fashion lover and a stylist are centered on personal style and, by extension, being thoughtful about purchases and doing the least harm while still expressing yourself. But, it always felt icky to have to explain myself. And I recently realized why: people see the act of enjoying fashion as inherently wasteful.

It's not for nothing, of course. The fashion industry is literally one of the most wasteful industries that exists. But, liking fashion doesn't mean that you are uncritical of that fact (hello, that's my whole thing), nor does it mean that you must acquire everything you admire.

Unfortunately, a lot of people feel the opposite.

The fashion-obsessed shopaholic is a trope that's very popular in media, and media, of course, forms the way we see the world in many ways. So, obviously, the idea that truly loving fashion requires you to buy frivolously and hoard for the sake of having a huge wardrobe doesn't come from nowhere. And, indeed, it's not unique to fashion: music lovers, book lovers, etc. are all defined by the size of their collections. But strip away the part of collecting that requires you to amass and what's left is...research, learning, knowledge. Likewise with degrees and training and internships: remove the officialness and at the end of the day, the point is to learn history and context and technique.

Basically, learning about something is the first step to truly appreciating it. Shouldn't that be the focus and end goal of democratization?

[tryalittlejoytomorrow]

3, 5, 29 for ao3 wrapped!!

Thank you dear! 💜

3/ What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Definitely home edit my beloved - no one likes it, no one read it, but it's definitely my best Nace fic. I guess people think it's just sugary fluff and don't care for that, but this story has some of my favorite lines I've ever written - plant metaphor my beloved!! - and it features domestic married Nace, a baby on the way, Nancy and Ryan feels, and Ryan and Bess as the best dynamic duo ever. Honestly, I don't get what's wrong with this fandom to sleep on Ryan and Bess, istg.

5/ What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

Mmh, I guess curse breaking fic? I guess I didn't expect people to care for a multichap centered around a case, which is surprisingly not something people from the ND fandom actually like that much? And it wasn't like I'd written a lot of fic before so I was a nobody, and there I was, sprouting this story literally hours and not even a full day after the finale aired. I didn't expect people to...idk, trust me like that? But people sort of stuck around for the six weeks it took me to complete this story, even if there were some highs and lows.

29/ Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

This is the worst question ever because I'm a Libra and I don't deal well with choices. And - I just know that the minute I pick one and post this, I'll remember another and go oh damn.

I guess I'll go with this scene from undercover married in the moth era fic:

"Life can get in the way of marriage very easily, and you may feel like you've been drifting apart, ships passing in the night. Tonight is about taking a little trip down memory lane and reminiscing about the frivolity of courtship - honestly, this sounds like we're gonna go on Romantic Meditation 101. Step one, find your inner lover in lotus posture," Nancy snorts.

"You're joking, but I'd pay good money to watch you stand still long enough for meditation," Ace teases her. "Or yoga. You definitely need to relax. You know what, let's just enlist for yoga class tomorrow morning."

"So Sarah can try and climb you when you're showing off in perfect tree pose? Over my dead body," Nancy deadpans. She stares at Ace until she can see him swallow nervously. "Good."

He takes a sip of his wine, averting his gaze. "You're scary, you know that? You're really nailing this crazy possessive wife thing down."

"See, my undercover acting skills aren't that abysmal. Okay, where was I again?" Nancy starts skim-reading again. "This is super corny, it's almost cute. Oh! There's a quiz! We're gonna nail that, quizzes are like brain teasers."

Ace rolls his eyes fondly at her. "First question: who's the most competitive about being the best fake-married? Easy. You."

Nancy narrows her eyes at him. "No, the first question actually is: do you remember what your spouse was wearing the first time you met?" She starts frowning. "That's crazy, who's gonna re-"

"White tank top, blue stripes, dark denim skirt," Ace answers right away. When she looks at him with wide eyes, he chuckles softly. "Your hair was - a bit curly, like you'd just stepped out of the shower," he adds, waving his hand around.

"Wow. How do you - do you have some enhanced photographic memory I should know about?" Nancy lets out with a chuckle, ducking her head to hide her smile. "Sounds like that's the sort of things a wife should know. What if that's question number two?"

Ace takes the piece of paper from her. "Nope, you're fine. Besides, I'm pretty sure that you knowing about my secret half-brother in WITSEC qualifies you as an acceptable wife more so than remembering what I was wearing the day we met."

She remembers, though. The fading letters on his old archery camp shirt, the R and H almost falling off so much that it read ACERY. It'd made her laugh as he introduced himself and she'd almost asked if he'd done it on purpose when George had barked at her to hurry up. She'd given him one last look, admiring the way his muscles bunched under the fabric as he loaded wine boxes, before George had dragged her back inside to introduce her to the broom and water bucket. She'd only half listened to George's instructions as she kept thinking about Ace's eyes and how pretty they looked highlighted by that olive green shirt.

Baby hit me one more time!

[frogsandfries]

Here's a truth conservatives and corporate bigtards should know

Major secret. Ground-breaking. Unparalleled,

If you pay your people, rather than dragging themselves to work because they literally cannot afford to miss a day, they'll show up cheerfully. They'll fucking stay!!

The ONLY thing(s?) keeping me at my job: I literally cannot afford to quit. I literally cannot afford to get a second job. I literally cannot afford to miss a single shift. Only getting thirty hours most weeks is hurting me. Only working four shifts even on occasional weeks hurts me.

And I don't even have to pay a real rent. My friend is hurting me by asking for two hundred a month, but I'm mostly angry about that because she's doing what I deem frivolous shit that causes her to need me to pitch in, which hurts me financially in getting my shit put together.

I'm frustrated and angry and I feel stuck. Every time I leave one situation to try desperately to get into a better situation, the new situation ends up being somehow progressively worse, and worse. I can't tell you how frustrated I am. I should've fucking stayed. I should've put my foot down. His parents were on MY side. I knew he wasn't going to continue communicating with me anyway, one way or another. I should've put my fucking foot down and said, no. I'm choosing money and I'm going to take your parents up on driving lessons and I'm going to get my fucking license here.

If I had to pay a real rent, three or five or seven hundred dollars a month, I would just entirely give up any hope of finishing my degree. But if I actually had to pay rent here in Wisconsin, I would just move straight back to Oregon. I'll fucking figure out how to get my license from there.

The more I have to think about how I feel pressure to go to work, not that I want to go to work because my paycheck will be amazing, the more pissed off I get. I used to enjoy going to work because I genuinely loved my job. I used to genuinely enjoy my customers. My checks were pretty awesome.

If I had the choice, I would only work weekends where I work now because that's where the money is. That would free me up for a second job, one that might actually fucking pay me. Y'know, during the week. I could stay at the company that promises that I'll move up the ranks with ample training, and go to a company that might just move me on merit.........

At the same time, I want to find something else because it's too stressful to get paid so little, even if the work is pretty easy. I miss being able to be in charge, be like, sure, I'll give you a deal on that item. I'm sorry about this or that, here's a deal for your trouble.

I'm sick and fucking goddamned tired of feeling like I'm running on a hamster wheel and I'll just never get off of it. Sure, this hamster wheel is bigger, but it's just as strangulating as the last one.

I can't outright quit this job. Even for one that pays better. Even for one that won't make a joke out of reaching management one way or another. I have to stay with it at least until I've stayed at least six months.

I have to find a way to squeeze more work hours into my week. Next week, I have Tuesday off. Maybe it's time to at least try looking for a second job. I have my eye on two places. One I haven't even bothered applying, but tonight, I'm going to apply and update my other application. This tight-ass, tight-fisted, anal-retentive bullshit is already old. It'd be cool to be like, yeah I have all this management training, but it'd be even cooler to say, yeah, I actually was a manager and I got paid for it.

I cannot just bounce every time something happens that I can't stand.

I can't just stay because my time is running short and I can't afford to be literally without a paycheck. I can't just stay because it's starting to look bad that I can't stay at a job. But I also actually cannot stay because I'm literally barely getting paid. I can, however, make strides toward taking on a second job. Otherwise, I'll probably just actually never get my license, nor a vehicle, because I'll just have no money at all from struggling to survive.

Once I score said second job, from there, I can suss out the finer details, when and where and how. But if it doesn't pay more per hour, it's not going to be worth it.

The point here is: If I was actually getting paid, I wouldn't be looking for a better paying job. I wouldn't be looking for a second job. But I think I've figured out why this company is moving south. They can pay their workers less if they move into tiny towns with fewer job opportunities. Not to mention, I bet a bunch of these states have garbageass minimum wages. Oh ha ha ha ha I'm making TWO WHOLE DOLLARS AND SIXTY CENTS MORE THAN MINIMUM WAGE SUCH GOOD MANY MONIES HA HA HA HA HA HA

I don't stay because it feels like a choice. I stay because it's a job. It's more consistent hours than I was getting. It pays better than the last place, for less responsibility, but it still pays less than my favorite recent employment.

The rules are painfully conservative. The dress code is ridiculous. It doesn't pay for all the demands that it makes. It's increasingly difficult to justify staying or putting all of my available working hours into this one place. Admittedly, part of this is that, going into this, I thought it would actually be better. My friend was getting paid more at her job. I was getting better hours at my job. I thought this meant that I could squirrel away that two hundred that I'm giving her each month, on top of the usually hundred bucks I stash away most paychecks. That is not what happened. I don't get to daydream about the job training I'll get after college, after I've proven I really can hold down a job and be worth the investment of fully training. I'm too busy trying desperately to grasp as many dollars as I possibly can before opportunities slip me by again. I'm just too stressed. I'm very sick. Seriously sick. And that illness is rooted in having to live in a cold climate, having absolutely no way to get even the clunkiest of junkers to drive to work, because I'm just not making money in the first place and I have to contribute in the household. I'm not making money because I can't fucking get to work. It's a beautiful cycle of entrapment. It's magnified by getting paid basically minimum wage. Barely getting paid at all.

So I'm physically stressed by chronic asthma inflammation. I'm emotionally stressed because my window to make progress is closing quickly. I'm emotionally stressed because I absolutely cannot afford to miss an hour of work. I'm emotionally stressed because I'm hardly getting paid and my window is closing. I know I set the goals high, but I can't stay in this state. My physical health cannot handle it. Honestly, I think I've been realizing, I wasn't going to stay when they didn't hire me into the management training, and when I realized the place I need to be is somewhere this company is not. They aren't paying me. I'm going to be trapped somewhere that is killing me to live. They are not contributing to me moving my life forward. This is a source of massive stress to me. Plus, they are kind of blocking me out from looking elsewhere, adding on a second job because they take up just a little too much of my time, but not enough to be worth it.

I'm going in circles. Like I have been since I stupidly moved back to this worthless state.

[frogsandfries]

Feeling.... bad

After a five day weekend, I should've shaken off all my bad feelings from work and I should be ready to go back. But this week, I return to three five-hour shifts and one at six hours. This paycheck, my last two or three, honestly, are going to look horrible. Just because I opened my mouth about leaving.

At this point, I've started doing apps. I'm considering calling one of the temp agencies I worked with to get the kind of work they claim to have, that I would like to do. Prompt, fulltime employment--I would get on a plane tomorrow.

I also feel bad because last night, I spent over an hour arguing about having my coccyx poked, when I meant my sacrum, but no points for bs'ing close at four in the morning. No, negative points for being wrong multiple times.

I wanted to leave Arizona with money in my pocket, and a job once I landed. Now I'll be lucky to have money in my pocket on touchdown. And not just because I'm a little frivolous with the money I have. A temp job that pays weekly sounds appealing until I can nail down something more permanent. Unless I get an unprecedented opportunity, a job I actually like. Seeing as there are literally two I've had that I wanted to keep forever-- my studio practice and being a library assistant--I really doubt it.

Maybe I am pessimistic. Maybe it is a problem. As far as jobs, though, I'm just getting discouraged. This job was fine until everyone kept bitching about how I was fucking everything up, like I never do anything right and I'm just a failure. Maybe my friend's advice to be cordial, even when you don't feel like it, to greet people, is something worth considering.

He still thinks I don't listen to him, but I am. I can't be the damsel in distress that I didn't realize I am. I have to go back and put a foundation down, I have to go back and stop waiting and stop making excuses. I need to take the initiative because once I take control, I will bo longer be as heavily dependent as I am.

Speaking of a foundation, I don't know if I've ever expressed interest in matchmaking-- that is to say, being on the receiving end. Turns out, I'm not unique in wanting to be matched old-school style. In fact, there's a whole TV show about it.