#i am distinctly getting the feeling that if i buy this basic set of things i will already be upset about having spent this much money

[beauzos]

Something kind of irritates me about how both the writers and fans of Earthbound treat early game Porky.  Like, it feels like people can often be unduly harsh on Porky at the start of the game when I don’t think that is really warranted or intended by the actual writing.  I think the game itself is at times meanspirited towards Porky unnecessarily, but obviously fans themselves will take it further than that.

I feel like when people demonize early game Porky, it undermines his corruption arc in Earthbound and even beyond to his eventual appearance in Mother 3.  He isn’t a bad person at the start of Earthbound, that’s the point.  I feel like early game Porky’s portrayal is very deliberately crafted to be where he is flawed in a very normal way for a 13 year old boy to be; he is annoying (and let’s be real-- we all were at that age), cowardly, and sometimes selfish.

But when people portray him as intentionally malicious, a bully, cruel, so on, it feels very contradictory to what’s actually in the text.  Like, his worst crime is basically that he’s kind of annoying to both characters and, perhaps, the player.  He’s really childish, but overall well-meaning.  I think the flavor text in some fights (such as Porky apologizing profusely to the enemy and/or Ness(?)) along with how he is genuinely unwilling to be nasty to Ness in a rarely seen text if you tell him no twice when he asks for help (being “if you don’t help me, I’ll say something that’ll cut you like a knife... alright, I won’t say anything to hurt you”) indicates his well-meaning nature, even when he tries to be unkind.

I tend to think that a lot of Porky’s flaws pretty distinctly stem from his parents being abusive, self-centered freaks, which isn’t anything ground-breaking to point out, but still.  I won’t dive too much into the conjecture, but I think his parents make it obvious that there’s a reason Porky may be the way he is.  He’s scared of conflict, clearly stemming from the harsh way his father in particular can punish him and Picky, manifesting in both minor and major ways (such as his cowardliness during battles with relatively weak enemies + being afraid of Buzz Buzz’s prophecy and hoping he isn’t part of it) and he has to rely on others to help him get out of messes he’s made.

I just feel like he’s set up as this minorly annoying kid to make it more interesting when he surprisingly, against the odds and his own previously stated fear of being part of the prophecy, joins on the side of Giygas.  The obvious subtext there is that Giygas has taken over his brain in the way he has done to many people and animals across the world.  There is still the question of how much of this is Giygas’s will and how much of it is just Porky once he gets some sort of agency and power in his life, especially considering that he now has a lot of power over adults, along with being able to, to some extent, control his own father with money (or buy his love, depending on your interpretation) now during the Fourside sequence.

I mention that even writers sometimes attack Porky in this way, and I generally am referring to the official Mother novelizations by Saori Kumi.  Her interpretation attacks his character from the very start, portrayed as a stupid, brutish bully that everyone hates because he’s just straight up evil and cruel.  Her entire novel undermines a lot of things about Earthbound, but because it’s official I take especial ire towards it.  This is not the point of Porky’s early game character.  He is there to juxtapose how downright vicious Porky becomes by the time you meet him in the Cave of the Past at end, having become so self-serving and uncaring that he turns on his own boss and inadvertently gets him killed by the Chosen Four.

Porky can’t just be terrible from the start.  That is not the point.  The fact that he comes from such humble, typical flaws that eventually bloom into someone who is genuinely very evil by the time you encounter him as a child slave-owning, animal abusing, kidnapping immortal bastard is part of what makes Porky one of the best written characters in the series.  You can’t just forget that context and write Porky off as inevitably evil like that.  He’s one of the only characters with an actual arc like that, and it has a huge payoff.  I just hate seeing people mess with that.

[theuntitledblog]

Spider-Man (PS4) - REVIEW

SYNOPSIS

The super-human crime lord Mister Negative orchestrates a plot to seize control of New York City’s criminal underworld. When Mister Negative threatens to release a deadly virus, Spider-Man must confront him and protect the city while dealing with the personal problems of his civilian persona, Peter Parker.

I am very selective about the video games I buy, play and subsequently complete but there are few games that I complete in full and repeat that journey several times over. Spider-Man is one of those games and when all is said and done; I consider it not only one of the best games I've played in the last 10 years but one of the best games I've ever played. The game is a third person open world experience that gives you free rein across New York City while you web sling as Peter Parker/Spider-Man. Throughout the game there are a variety of objectives to complete such as seeking out collectables, photographing city landmarks, fighting crime and completing various stealth, combat and timed challenges. If you played the Spider-Man 2 game on the PlayStation 2 then the basic concept will be very familiar but that concept has been heavily refined thus making this the definitive Spider-Man experience.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK

Spider-Man’s New York is glorious to behold with its vast skyscrapers and iconic landmarks all yours to explore and get lost in. But as visually stunning as it is, there isn’t much about the design that I haven't seen before and what struck me the most during my first play through was a sense of familiarity. As with the PS2 game, the web slinging mechanic is by far the biggest selling point of the game especially as it is at the centre of everything you do. Zipping through New York is unbelievably satisfying, addictive and strangely therapeutic to the point that I found myself just web slinging through the city with no particular destination in mind. The only slight downside for me is the lack of risk or consequence with the web slinging itself. Throwing yourself off the tallest skyscraper to the ground doesn’t result in death which I feel takes you out of the experience ever so slightly. It’s a feature that the PS2 game had and I feel it should’ve been carried over here. But it’s a very minor criticism and is ultimately drowned out by the amount of content and activities you come across.

KEY TO THE CITY

Between story missions you’re given the freedom of the city to explore and complete the various side missions, collectables, bases and challenges that are spread throughout the city. Whilst the collectables are as basic as they come, the remaining content is where the fun can be found and the Tokens you are awarded are just as important for upgrading as the main story skill points. Admittedly not all the options available during free roam are equally exciting or challenging (Bag tokens vs. Stealth challenge?) and there's undoubtedly a risk of repetitiveness setting in especially for some players for sure. However I found that finding the right balance between story and free roam kept things fresh and varied throughout my run; again it is the freedom to play how you want that is key. But is the effort worth it and do the skills and upgrades really make a difference?

PROGRESSION IS KEY

The answer is most definitely yes to that last point, I’m not saying that every option (Suit Mod), gadget (Suspension Matrix) and upgrades are good, some are weaker than others while some I just didn’t engage with. But the upgrades you acquire actually has an impact on the quality of play and gives you more freedom as a player in how you traverse the city, engage in combat and conduct stealth missions. The enemy quality also evolves with you and introduces types who require specific tactics to defeat while others are resistance to certain gadgets and moves. Anyone familiar with the Batman Arkham games will recognize both the stealth and combat styles but here it is distinctly designed with Spider-Man in mind and flows differently as a result. Combat is often fun and varied enough to keep you going and of course Spider-Man’s personality and quips give things an extra lift. What the game lacks in originality in these regards it makes up for in execution, style and a real sense of fun. But for all the familiarity and refinement, what brings it all together and brought me back for 3 run throughs is the story.

CINEMATIC SCALE

The scale story is something of a surprise and one that you should experience for yourself so I won’t be mentioning specific spoilers. However it does start off slow and from the street level that helps define Spider-Man by giving you the time to get to the know the characters and come to understand where their relationships are at. There are familiar characters, both friend and foe, who make appearances but this is a stand alone story not linked to any previous Spider-Man film. The script, voice acting and graphics are superb allowing the characters to feel authentic and you as the player to become fully immersed and invested in them. It’s tempting to run straight through the story missions to see what happens next but I would again recommend a balanced approach so you can experience the game in full. The story is funny, action packed, emotional, tense and tragic, it hits all the right notes and left me desperately wanting to return to revisit these characters and this world by the end. It is the best Spider-Man movie that never was.

OVERALL

Spider-Man is a joy to play. Yes I’ve spoken about familiarity but that doesn’t take away how the developers have refined these familiar elements into a definitive Spider-Man experience. The game is consistently fun and thrilling throughout. The story is an absolute triumph; authentic, heartfelt, funny, action packed and tragic and one that has kept me coming back time and again. What sets this out from and outshines other superhero games is because of that investment from the player and the emotional stakes generated by the excellently written story. Gameplay offers more than enough variety with a vast open world where traversing is just as fun as actually playing through. It’s right up there in the battle foe the title of best superhero game ever made and I personally can’t wait to play the sequel and other sequels (hopefully) to come.

5/5

[dabi-drift]

Yaoyorozu, Hawks, Bakugou, Amajiki, Dabi, Mirko & Geten with a Genderfluid S/O:

If you want any characters adding here or to anything else I write, just drop me a comment or an ask!

Momo Yaoyorozu:

☿ It was hard enough for you to acknowledge your own gender- fully understanding it was a different topic - so coming out to Momo was going to be tough.

☿ Really tough.

☿ She was a lovely girl and a wonderful girlfriend.

☿ But could you really expect her to be supportive of something so complex?

☿ Your gender fluctuated a lot - sometimes you'd feel distinctly outside the binary, and sometimes you'd feel more masculine, or more feminine.

☿ You hadn't noticed this until recently; you rarely gave gender a second thought.

☿ Looking at yourself in the mirror and questioning everything that felt a little off, you'd figured that maybe you just wanted to feel special, a little different.

☿ So you researched. A lot.

☿ You had a system that no-one understood because you were still deep in the closet: a different coloured strand/extension in your hair (on one side only) that stood out but was never questioned.

☿ Red = Feminine, Purple = Non-Binary, Blue = Masculine, Green = Third Gender/Multigender.

☿ Coming out was a decision you spent countless nights debating.

☿ No-one 'deserved' to know, it was really nobody's business…but being gendered correctly 100% of the time did sound nice.

☿ Deep breaths, and positive thoughts.

☿ "I identify as…no, I am genderfluid. You, eh…you should probably know that."

☿ This sweet, precious thing was confused at first.

☿ But you explained it:

☿ "Sometimes I'll feel more masculine, more like a boy, sometimes feminine, neither or both/all genders? I'm still wrapping my head around it too, but eh…it can change a lot. Sometimes a few times a day. Um…sometimes one gender will stick for a while. That's why figuring it out can be…confusing. But it's also enlightening, uh…kinda nice, warm, y'know?"

☿ Instantly says she understands and supports you.

☿ Expect a flurry of hugs and kisses.

☿ Acts like a very proud girlfriend.

☿ Pays extra attention to your hair - never wants to get anything wrong.

☿ If she does, she'll apologise immediately and reprimand herself.

☿ Go easy on her, she'll be an utter mess.

☿ Overall, her love for you is unconditional, and she makes sure that you know she's sorry.

"You shouldn't ever have to be scared to explain who you are."

Keigo Takami/Hawks:

☿ Keigo knew something was amiss.

☿ You'd been dating for two years, and although he never pried, he couldn’t help noticing the way you'd suddenly become uncomfortable when someone addressed you, or when you stayed in one set of clothes for too long.

☿ It wasn’t always the same, and he just figured it was anxiety and general insecurities coming to the surface.

☿ So he held you closer, wrapped you in his wings and fussed over you for hours (or however long his job would allow).

☿ He didn’t have a lot of time to consult the internet.

☿ He also didn’t want to pressure you into revealing anything.

☿ But now, the topic was unavoidable.

☿ You'd broken down, crying and mumbling to yourself when you thought he couldn’t hear you.

☿ He finds you kneeling in front of the full-length mirror in the bedroom.

☿ Rushes to your side in an instant.

☿ "What did the mirror do to you, dove?"

☿ Very, very worried, feathers shaking around you.

☿ Defensive birb, ready to protect you from that loathsome mirror.

☿ "I-I look so…so girly today! It's awful! My chest, and…and…I don’t have a binder, and I…"

☿ Doesn't understand, but is determined not to worsen your mood.

☿ "Hey, look at me. What are binders, and where would we get one?"

☿ He places both hands on your cheeks, and you lean into him.

☿ "They're…they flatten your chest, um…sports bras and binders…I-I've never bought one, so I don’t know…"

☿ He nods. "Do you wanna come with me to look for one?"

☿ You're perplexed - shouldn’t he be weirded out by this?

☿ He laughs, and somehow, it warms your heart. "I just want you to be happy. I'd do anything to make that happen, angel. You might need to explain all this to me, though. I'm a newbie, after all."

☿ He takes physical notes - nothing will catch this man out.

☿ If someone misgenders you, he'll correct them immediately.

☿ If someone acts ignorant or spiteful, he'll 'politely' tell them how to adjust their attitude, and how to address people outside the gender binary.

☿ I.e, respect them even if you don't have a complete grasp on their identity, and never, ever misgender or marginalise them.

"You are yourself, not how others perceive you."

Katsuki Bakugou:

☿ You decided to use pronoun badges. There were some awesome-looking designs out there, and you'd been feeling a little more confident lately. It couldn’t hurt to clue your classmates in, right? Plus, you supposed Katsuki ought to know…he was your boyfriend, after all. He'd definitely be pissed if he discovered this a few years down the line, rage about you not placing enough trust in him, and it'd be a huge mess…

☿ You'd never interrogated him on LGBTQ+ issues, so you weren't sure how he'd take your news; he wasn’t always the most accepting (Midoriya & the quirkless community being obvious testaments to that).

☿ Needless to say, instead of being confused, he was frustrated. Why was he with someone who didn’t even know their correct pronouns? He pointed it out, very matter-of-fact.

☿ When your dazzling smile suddenly dropped, he became concerned. Was he the idiot after all? Why did he upset you? What in the Nine Circles of Hell possessed him to do that?? He didn’t even say anything bad! All he mentioned was…

☿ Oh. Shit.

☿ This boy isn't accustomed to apologising, so don’t expect it to flow naturally. He’ll try, because he loves you, but he won't keep eye contact for very long and he'll recant every few seconds.

☿ This perceived insincerity only masks his guilt, though. He’ll beat himself up for years, unless you stop him. This boy has no chill. He's always the first to go off on people when they disrespect or degrade you, so he's gotta make amends in some way, right?

☿️ Honestly, if there are any pronoun badges with really cool or pretty designs, he'll buy them for you. He'll also get for himself, to prove his acceptance and solidarity. He won't ever allow you to feel alone again. He's more than okay with your identity - it changes absolutely nothing about you. If anything, it gives you a sense of completion. He's here for that, 100%.

☿️ You better believe he'll fight for your rights.

☿️ If there's any hate/intolerance directed at you, he'll explode. Quite literally.

☿️ You'll be tasked with ensuring no-one dies. Unless you want them to, of course.

☿️ They'll deserve it.

☿️ Katsuki is very perceptive, so when he gets to grips with it, he'll most likely notice every indication (however subtle) of a gender change. He'll carry spare pronoun badges around, just in case you lose yours.

☿️ Secretly, he's swimming in pride.

☿️ He's kinda like 'Yeah, that's my awesome partner! Look how cool they are, flaunting their pronouns like that, all confident and happy!'

☿️ This boy adores the ever-loving shit out of you. He hates reflecting on the day you came out, because he handled it so poorly at first. Thankfully now though, you're more secure.

"Gender doesn't matter. I'm gonna be a hero, not a hater."

Tamaki Amajiki:

☿️ (Y/n) wasn’t a dead name, but sometimes the very mention of it made your skin crawl.

☿️ It was a gift from your parents, so you wanted to keep it.

☿️ But it was a very gendered name - you couldn’t escape that.

☿️ So you decided on a few more - ones both your mind and heart adored.

☿️ The names corresponded to different gender identities, and although you weren't out just yet (though you planned to be shortly), they gave you the fluffiest feeling.

☿️ Because you hadn't come out, you didn’t bother making it easy for people - no different coloured bracelets, rings or anything to highlight your gender at the time.

☿️ In your heart, you knew who you were.

☿️ Still…everything seemed tied to the binary - official documents, school, the chatter of other students…you'd seen and heard it all.

☿️ These people didn’t accept non-conformists.

☿️ So why should Tamaki?

☿️ Sure, he was kind-hearted, heroic…amazing, but what would he do? What would he say, when you finally came out? You couldn’t remain in the closet forever.

☿️ No way that was happening! You were human too, your feelings mattered! Surely you were allowed to voice your truth…

☿️ Tamaki loved you.

☿️ He'd be accepting…right? Memorising some more names and pronouns shouldn’t be so tricky.

☿️ To minimise discomfort for both of you, you chose to explain things in his room.

☿️ He got really nervous at first - he thought you wanted to break up.

☿️ Boy was sweating profusely, coming up with all sorts of counter-arguments in his head. He really, really loved you.

☿️ "(Y-Y/n)-"

☿️ "Um, could you maybe call me (O/n) today? It's an…off-spectrum day."

☿️ Cue more confusion than Momo.

☿️ He'll ask about it in a really gentle voice - being anxious himself, he can easily pick up on other people's signs.

☿️ "Basically…my gender's fluid, so…you know how 'sex' is biological and 'gender' is a sense of identity? Well, sometimes I align with my birth sex, sometimes I don't. Today is…one of those days."

☿️ He'll hold your hand while he listens, squeezing it periodically to reassure you.

☿️ Now it's your turn to question the strength of your relationship.

☿️ This boy's love is deep, though; he cares way too much to let anything come between you.

☿️ Plus, nothing about you has actually changed.

☿️ You've just come into yourself, gained more comfort in who you are.

☿️ Tells you how proud he is.

☿️ Asks you to let him know when you sense your gender change, so he never calls you by the wrong name or pronouns.

☿️ It's They/Them today, but who knows about tomorrow? Or even an hour from now?

☿️ Finds gender-neutral compliments and nicknames, and does a ton of research.

☿️ Has an entire script in his head - if you want to come out but can't speak for yourself, Tamaki will push aside his anxiety and recite the words he's practiced a million times.

"You've finally found yourself - only change if it feels right."

Touya Todoroki/Dabi:

☿️ Your identity was really important and dear to your heart.

☿️ But that didn’t stop those you cared for tearing you apart whenever you tried to speak up.

☿️ Your family, your friends…you loved them, but they just couldn’t accept you.

��️ So you killed them.

☿️ You went on the run, evading police and heroes alike for years.

☿️ And then, you found the League of Villains - a strange dynamic, kind of like family but much more welcoming.

☿️ Yet, your identity stayed hidden. You didn’t have the strength to harm all these people, if they rejected you.

☿️ Besides, there was more solidarity here than there ever had been with your blood relatives.

☿️ Dabi was your companion, though whether that meant closest friend or love interest, you didn’t know.

☿️ He was observant, transforming his thoughts into words regardless of how that affected people.

☿️ He pointed things out immediately.

☿️ "New bracelet?"

☿️ You paused, half-shocked, half-afraid.

☿️ You knew that he'd see through any lie you posed.

☿️ The truth would be the only thing to save you from his flames.

☿️ "That means something, doesn't it, (Y/n)?"

☿️ Step 1: put the drink down so you don't shatter it in anger.

☿️ "Yeah, um…this colour means 'masculine'. I'm a guy…now."

☿️ His face betrayed nothing.

☿️ "Like a reverse Magne?"

☿️ You wondered if that was a genuine question or an attempt at humour.

☿️ Todorokis don't understand jokes.

☿️ "No…she's a transgender woman, I'm genderfluid. I'm not confined to a single gender. It, uh…it changes."

☿️ His nod didn’t instil you with confidence.

☿️ "You out to the others yet?"

☿️ "Didn't think they'd accept me."

☿️ He made a 'Really? You're the least weird of the bunch' face.

☿️ "Ah, I'll just burn 'em if they don't."

☿️ You were too stunned to employ a comeback.

☿️ He contemplated for a while.

☿️ "So, you got any other names?"

☿️ Helps you plan how to come out to the rest of the League.

☿️ Will legitimately burn the haters.

"Found families are more accepting than the real thing."

Rumi Usagiyama/Mirko:

☿️ You bought three mugs - 'It's a Girl', 'It's a Boy' and 'It's a Mess'.

☿️ The excitement had been bubbling away inside you for weeks.

☿️ Rumi still didn’t know that you were genderfluid, but she was about to learn.

☿️ There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that she'd accept you.

☿️ You hadn't told her yet because it was a big thing - lots to take in, and you needed to be completely sure of it, and of your relationship.

☿️ You weren't gonna tell just anyone.

☿️ Dating Rumi was awesome, and this was just the next stage.

☿️ It didn’t go according to plan.

☿️ Not at first.

☿️ "You're pregnant?!" Was her very concerned response.

☿️ She kept muttering about how she needed some space to think things over.

☿️ Until you dragged her back, exasperated but determined to explain yourself.

☿️ "It's in reference to myself. I wanted to let you know, in a funny way, that I'm genderfluid. There's a Girl and a Boy one, and the other is for Non-Binary."

☿️ She made a noise like she understood, but you saw the confusion.

☿️ "Today's an Enby day, but you might have a girlfriend tomorrow. Or a boyfriend. Who knows?"

☿️ In an instant, the biggest smile took control of her face, and she brought you into a crushing hug.

☿️ "So I could have a girlfriend, a boyfriend and a murder partner??"

☿️ "Eh…if you can do the jail-time, count me in."

☿️ This one won't necessarily search for information herself, but she will consult you whenever she's having a difficult time processing something.

☿️ You're like,, the expert in all things LGBTQ+, and she loves listening to you talk so passionately.

☿️ She's really glad you told her - that you trusted her with something so important.

☿️ She feels loved, and makes sure you do too.

☿️ Asks if you ever thought she'd reject you.

☿️ "Nah. We'll go strong forever, Rumi."

☿️ She's overjoyed, honestly.

"You're so brave for coming out, and if someone doesn’t like it, I'll kick their butt."

Geten/Iceman:

☿️ Geten didn’t have the faintest clue about gender identities. He accepted male and female, but without a proper education or motivation to learn anything beside his quirk, you didn’t expect him to understand. You would've held it in, if you were strong enough to deal with the constant misgendering.

☿️ If you use Neopronouns, you're especially worried. They aren't as widely welcomed as the general She/He/They. And Geten being the angry, feral gremlin he is, his temper was a major concern.

☿️ You couldn’t change for him, so if he decided to lash out or disapprove, you'd be crushed. You'd obviously have to walk out of the relationship, if he didn’t do so himself. As deeply as your love ran, you simply couldn’t put yourself through such anguish. You weren't of the soundest mind, so to be rejected by Geten…

☿️ He isn't gonna understand unless you sit him down, crack open the slideshow presentation and maybe start crying? He'll feel guilty, but he doesn't ever wanna see you in distress. He said as much, in the beginning of your relationship.

☿️ So cry. Cry your little heart out, and he'll do everything within his power to comfort you. He's not the most receptive to other people's emotions, but with you, it's different. He's always by your side, always watching over you. His hugs are a little stiff, but wrap your arms around him tightly, and he'll protect you with his life.

☿️ "So…genderfluid?"

☿️ His tone is gentle, like he's afraid to cause any more tears.

☿️ "Yeah, um…you identify with your birth sex, right? Well, I don't…not all the time. And if you could…could use those pronouns? That would mean…a lot. To me. It'd mean everything, actually…"

☿️ He's quiet for a while, still trying to make space in his brain for all this new information. It isn't something he needs to 'come around to', though. He'll be completely painful and respectful. He's bound to slip up a few times, but he'll always correct himself.

☿️ Hates seeing you cringe whenever he makes a mistake. Always vows never to let it happen again.

☿️ You're okay though - you know it's gonna take time.

☿️ Angry boi never uses your gender identity as an insult, and openly condemns (threatens) anyone who does. He'll want to prove himself - prove he's gonna love you regardless of gender, regardless of everything!

☿️ Honestly doesn't know why you were so nervous to explain this. When he said his love was unconditional, he wasn’t lying.

“There’s no way I couldn’t accept who you are.”

[curly-bangtan]

Heatwave Drabble #5: for the birthday boy (M)

[Heatwave // Godless // Heatwave Drabbles]

Pairing: Taehyung x reader

Summary: For Taehyung’s birthday, you’ve planned a special surprise-filled evening just for him as his best friend by day, fuck buddy by night. But especially after a few drinks, he finds it difficult keeping his hands off you, which isn’t a good thing in front of all your friends.

Genre: drabble, smut, fwb au, roommate au, f2l

Warnings: teacher/student roleplay (if you’re not into that, just skip to the next scene, it’s meant to be slightly sarcastic anyway), brief lap dance, oral (m&f), overstimulation (m&f), unprotected sex (your girl finally invested in the pill yay), cum dumpster, facial, cum play and consumption, squirting, basically filth, light BDSM like spanking, handcuffs, choking, the usual, daddy kink (you know HW!Tae)

Word count: 11.3k yikes

A/N: Happy early birthday to the best boy! Why do I call these drabbles when it’s basically a series at this point smh -_- Enjoy this filthy monster~

.

“Surprise! Happy Birthday!”

Taehyung jumps beside you as you switch on the lights to your flat, illuminating the room full of people leap out from their hiding place at his arrival. The last syllable of their celebratory chant hangs in the air for an awkward moment as he takes in everything you put together for his birthday surprise.

Shiny party streamers decorating the walls, black and gold balloons bobbing against the ceiling, printed photos of your best memories together hanging from shelf to shelf, all his and your closest friends gathered to greet him. And of course, the impeccable two-layered strawberry chocolate sponge cake sitting on a platter that you know would excite him the most.

A smile spreads his mouth wide and square as he turns to you, his cheeks bundling up like rising bread in sheer elation.

“No you didn’t, Y/N.”

Then you’re being suffocated in a bone-crushing hug, your ribs almost cracking under his snake-like squeeze. His chest rumbles in the most boyish giggle.

“Hap-pee-burf-day-” You manage to utter as you move your arms between two to create some space for you to breathe.

Seeing Taehyung this happy, especially knowing you’re the cause of it, is truly a feeling matched by no other. You don’t have a massive squadron of friends, you are more the type to carefully select those you actually like and get along with. To put it badly, you’re picky, judgy and quite a bitch when it comes to making friends. But the few you actually care about, you love ferociously and passionately, willing to cut off your own limb for them. And Taehyung is at the top of that list.

“You’re actually the best, I love you.” When he finally lets you go from his painful but appreciated embrace, his hands rest on your waist, lingering.

You had just treated him to a birthday dinner at his favourite steakhouse, roommate to roommate, in order to enable this surprise party. A few pints might have been downed for the occasion, which explains his excessive touching. Taehyung has never been able to hold his liquor, always a lightweight. The number of times you’ve had to half-carry half-drag him out of a club and stick your fingers down his throat in a dark alley is truly embarrassing for him.

“I am the best. You’re lucky I love you too, dork.” With his nostrils flaring from excitement, you can’t help but pinch his nose before turning to the guests and properly starting the party.

To be honest, you wouldn’t have been able to pull it off without the help of anyone else. His parents have come to town to visit him during the day, so off he went to show them around the food market, the park and his favourite vintage stores. Which gave you plenty of time to set up the house, prepare the refreshments, and buy the birthday cake. But keeping him from returning home was a feat that you had to enlist his parents’ aid in, and ever the obedient son, Taehyung of course did not argue when his folks disagreed with his suggestion to go back to the apartment. Then, it was a matter of taking him to dinner, deftly urging him to meet you there rather than going together from the flat so not to miss your reservation. The rounds of alcohol and your tiny bladder slyly masked the many bathroom runs you took in order to text Lotta to gather everyone to your place. And when everything was set, you headed back with the clueless Taehyung, giddy with a belly full of Michelin star food.

It was purely out of your headstrong resistance that you two didn’t stumble into the apartment making out, exposing your on-going debauchery to all your unaware friends. He had begun to feel you up on the way home, grabbing your ass one too many times for it to be merely playful. Honestly, it’s never easy rejecting his advances, not with your nymphomaniac track record anyway. But tonight was especially difficult, knowing what you have planned for him after the party…

From the corner of your eye you see Taehyung chattering away with friends from his class, and from the way he’s waving his hands around, you can tell it’s about the latest Christmas horror story of the two of you trying to stuff a turkey.

The memory of you yelling at each other to grab-this-grab-that warms your chest more than the white wine you’re sipping on. It’s always these stupid anecdotes that mean the most.

“Looks like he’s enjoying himself.”

Lotta’s voice startles you from your thoughts. Hands held behind her shyly, she smiles at the sight of the outburst of laughter from the guests at his story.

Aside from Taehyung, you would say she’s your best friend, having gone to the same highschool together and now the same university. You knew you would be close the moment she told you her star sign - there isn’t a more iconic duo than an Aries and a Leo. She puts up with a lot of your shit but also isn’t afraid to scream some sense into you whenever you pull something rogue, which you guess is very often.

“Yep. He should probably stop drinking though.” You say as you watch him tip the contents of his glass down his throat. “I swear to god if he throws up on the couch, I’ll chop his dick off.” Of course you wouldn’t, how could you ever bring yourself to hurt that godsent meatstick that fuck tears out of you? You both giggle nonetheless.

“You’re funny with him.” Lotta is wearing a smug expression that you distinctly dislike.

“What do you mean?”

“You act like he’s some annoying brother who you hate, but then you go and take him to this boujee-ass steakhouse, throw him a surprise party and splash out on his birthday gift. You beat him up when he uses your shampoo, kick him when he accidentally scrunches up your notes, and threaten to emasculate him if he spills alcohol on your favourite couch that you treat like your newborn child. But you secretly care so much about him that I know you’d give him your kidney if he needed one.”

You blink at her.

Not quite sure what to say.

“Well, yeah, of course I care about him. Like you said, he’s a brother to me.” Okay, but do you let someone who’s just a brother to you cum on your face? “You don’t live with him so you don’t know what a useless brat he is. He burns pasta, Lotta. Pasta. Seriously, he’s such a dipshit, but of course I care about him. What’s funny about that?” Lying straight through your teeth is a Y/N specialty. As long as you say it with enough confidence, you can sell any bullshit.

But maybe you’re sounding a little defensive.

Lotta is clever, it is why you’re friends. Where this observation of hers is headed, you’re unsure of. She could turn this into a lecture about your abrasive personality, or suspect that something else is going on between you and Taehyung other than sharing rent.

“Nothing, I just said it was funny. The way you are.” Her smile tells you that it’s probably the former of the two possibilities.

“What can I say, I’m a funny person.” Not entirely buying it though, you shrug and play along.

Another bout of laughter breaks out from Taehyung and his friends, catching both your attentions. He thrives in social situations like these, good at entertaining people with his odd humour. You watch the flash of his teeth, the crinkle of his amused eyes, tongue flicking out to wet his lips every other sentence.

“You know, he actually is really hot.” Now, that you didn’t expect at all. Your head whips to face your best friend, whose eyes fixes back on yours but not before you catch her checking him out.

“Um, what?”

“I’m just saying. You can’t deny that he’s gorgeous, charming too.” Brows raised, Lotta lifts both hands up in defense when she see the arrows your glare is shooting at her. “Definitely the best looking guy I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re drunk. Since when did you admit that Taehyung is ‘hot’?” In complete ridicule, you scoff at her. Though, her point is completely 100% valid and true.

“Do you see me with a drink? I’m sober tonight, got an early shift tomorrow.”

“Why are you suddenly saying this? Weren’t you the one who wouldn’t shut up when I went to Mykonos with him because you thought I was too blinded by his looks to even know if he’s a serial killer?” Never has Lotta expressed the slightest, most remote of interest in Taehyung, not once properly acknowledging his attractiveness.

“I’m just saying. It’s a shame that you can’t see him that way anymore after spending so much time together.” It’s her turn to shrug, again with the annoying cocky expression.

Yes, after spending so much time sleeping together, more like.

“Yeah, no. That’s gross. You won’t get it because you don’t have a guy best friend. But trust me, no way would I ever go there with him.” Go ahead and call you a pathological liar, you don’t care. You’d never hear the end of it if Lotta finds out you and your ‘guy best friend’ have been knocking boots for over half a year.

You catch Taehyung glancing over to you, eyes twinkling with amusement, signalling for you to come over and join his crowd. Telepathy is one of your secret talents nowadays, you just know each other so well that spoken words are not a necessity for communication.

Taehyung watches you manoeuvre past those chattering bodies from across the room, making your way towards him with Lotta trailing behind. He knows he is definitely drunk, so it might just be the alcohol getting to his head but something looks a little different about you tonight. By that, he doesn’t mean your curled hair, or that new red dress you’re wearing that introduces your cleavage to the entire world. You’re kind of… glowing. There is a permanent smile on your face, even while resting the corners of your lips are turned up. And when you’re in a good mood, you are so transparent about it that you basically radiate like a disco ball in the room.

His chest feels warm. Maybe it’s the wine.

“Fuck, she’s so fit.”

For a second, Taehyung is worried that he thought out loud, but then realised that the voice belonged to Seojoon. He turns to his friend to find him ogling at your figure.

He doesn’t know what to say. It’s weird if he agrees. But he also doesn’t trust his inebriated state to execute a flat out lie that convincingly.

“You don’t know how lucky you are to have Y/N as your roommate, man. If it were me, I would’ve tapped that on the first night.” Seojoon continues, taking a swig of his beer.

“As if you could.” Taehyung snorts, unable to help himself. “She’s out of your league, ass.”

“Fair point. I heard she is a freak in bed, too. Do you ever hear, like, sex noises?” A freak indeed.

“Sometimes…” It’s true, even now. Occasionally he will stumble home with a girl he picked up at the bar only to hear the bed creaking furiously or breathy moans sounding from your room. Walls are thin. Sometimes it turned him on, other times it pissed him off.

“Bet you wank to it, eh? Taehyungie?” Seojoon ruffles his hair just as you and Lotta come within earshot. Liquor-brazen, he is suddenly overcome with an urge to announce to the whole room: Y/N and I are fucking. Yeah, that’s right. She’s my fuck buddy, so you can stop trying to hit on her right now because I’m gonna be the one she’s riding tonight. Seojoon, fucking suck on that. I don’t need to wank to her sex noises when I’m the one coaxing them from her.

However, a small sober part of his conscience tells him that he really shouldn’t do that; if he does, he probably won’t get any riding tonight. So he clamps his mouth shut.

You arrive amidst them in that sinful dress that reduces Taehyung to a teenage boy, and you take your turn giving them brief hugs as formalities, your best friend beside you mirroring your action. When you reach Taehyung, he pulls you in roughly by the waist, wine sloshing in his hand. From his careless force and lazy grin, you can tell he is almost completely gone. Taehyung is a wine-killer, but wine is also a Taehyung-killer.

Highly conscious of the presence of all your mates while he clearly isn’t, you pretend to roll your eyes and pry his hand off the small of your back. It doesn’t budge. So, awkwardly, with your midriff locked in Taehyung’s arm, you lean over to hug his last friend Woosik who gives you a shy pat on your shoulder.

The conversation resumes, morphing into Lotta telling everyone the most embarrassing stories of you during high school - back when you had braces and had the biggest crush on the captain of the football team. You don’t even try to deny it, laughing along at your pathetic 14 year old self. Though, you’re only half paying attention, the other half is keenly aware of the way Taehyung’s thumb is rubbing gentle circles on your pelvic bone. When you peek up at him, you find him already staring at you with eyes you know too well.

The ‘I’m gonna eat you out until you squirt’ eyes.

Fuck.

Then you notice Lotta’s sharp eyes on Taehyung’s hand gripping your waist. The ‘hold up, what could be happening over here?’ eyes.

Double fuck.

Tipping your toes, you whisper into your roommate’s clueless ear. “Let go, people are watching.” You almost allow your lips to graze his skin because you know how much it turns him on, but you remember to behave. But this close, his warm familiar scent tingles your nose in a way that makes you want to hug him.

Taehyung pulls away to look at your face, clearly displeased, then regards everyone in the circle. When he notices Lotta’s focus on the two of you, he slowly withdraws his paw, but not without purposely brushing past your ass.

.

“Strawberry-flavoured lube?”

Taehyung audibly gasps in disbelief as he tears open his poorly wrapped present.

“Yeah, you like strawberries right?” Seojoon chuckles and claps his back so violently that he falls forwards. On the other side of him, you haul him back up onto the sofa.

Everyone is gathered around the pile of birthday gifts on the coffee table, but not before witnessing you scold Woosik for not leaving his drink on the kitchen island from which the couch is a safe distance to prevent any spillage. Lotta just laughed at your fixation.

So far, the array of presents Taehyung has received ranges from Amazon vouchers, to expensive whiskey, to a funky tie. Yours sit furthest away from him, which he practically leapt in excitement when he saw the size of, only to be forced to open it last because you insist it’s going to be the best one.

“You’re insufferable, Seojoon.” Taehyung rolls his eyes yet fails to suppress his grin. Oh, you’re definitely trying out the lube at some point.

After ripping into a couple more, he finally arrives at your present for him. It spans an entire arm’s length; you know every guest must be wondering to themselves what it could possibly be. Taehyung drops onto his knees before it and carefully peels away the tape this time, knowing it probably took you awhile to wrap it up this neatly. You watch his long cautious fingers reveal the gift you had spent weeks raking your head for.

“Stop…” His eyes light up at the polished cedar easel that he caresses over as gentle as he would your skin. But as he continues to unwrap the present, a box of oil paints, a wooden palette and a set of 16 expensive natural fibre brushes are unveiled. “Oh my god, there’s more?”

Ceasing in action, he looks up at you, jaw so slack you bet you can throw a pea into his mouth even with your bad aim. The surprise on his face, almost a replica of his expression when everyone jumped out at him and yelled ‘Happy Birthday’ an hour ago. Except this time there is something more tender about how his wide pupils bore into yours. It makes you squirm.

Then without warning, he dives onto you, crushing you in the most fatal of embraces; you swear something in your spine cracked as you fall back onto the cushions, suffocated. People let out a sound of amusement at your struggle, but with his warm breath fanning your neck, you don’t even hear them.

After allowing this sweet painful moment for a few seconds more, you shove Taehyung’s heavy body off you, harder than you need so he slumps onto Seojoon.

“You’re actually the best, I love you.” He squeals like a boy on Christmas day before examining the paintbrushes with the utmost careful touch, as if afraid he would bend the bristles the wrong way.

What is he so cute for?

You kind of really want to pat his head and kiss his cheek right now. But there’s an audience obstructing.

Looking up, you lock eyes with Lotta. She is smiling, endeared by the purity of his reaction as well. See, not even she is immune his stupid cuteness. How are you supposed to?

Taehyung’s heart is constricting as he strokes the fine wooden edge of the giant disassembled easel. Of course, you know him better than any of his other friends. He has recently expressed an interest in painting, though his love for art and sophistication has been harbouring for a while now. He has only ever made subtle comments about wanting to properly get into it but not having the proper equipment to and not knowing the best brand to purchase. Yet you had picked up on it nevertheless. Everything combined must have costed you a significant portion of your allowance. Even he would not have splashed out this much on himself.

He turns back to you again from where he kneels in front of the coffee table. You are observing him with a thing he wishes to be adoration, a glimmer in your smile that wears more beautiful than any dress on you. For a second, there’s a flutter in his stomach and it confuses him because it feels an awful lot like butterflies.

But then you kick his back with the heel of your foot to get him to stand and Taehyung remembers that you are best friends. He’s not supposed to be thinking like that.

.

After cutting the cake, with food being a major satisfaction factor of any party, everyone sort of just hovers, huddled in their little groups with their plate of dessert in one hand, while they resume their conversation. The music is turned up loud so they all have to half-yell; some don’t even bother talking as they dig in, you included.

Being a quiet eater that you are, you stand by the island counter, sipping your wine in between bites of that chocolate decadence. Taehyung approaches you with his already empty plate; you haven’t even made it through half your slice yet. Judging by the lethargy in his step and that icing-slathered grin he has worn the entire night, you can tell he was the one who finished the second bottle of wine you opened.

“Hey.” Your fingers do a weird little wave that is so completely uncharacteristic, but tipsy-Y/N is sort of that friendly and laid back.

“Hey, pretty.” His hand trails around the corner of the counter surface and traps you between it and his body as he comes up behind you. Immediately you stiffen, looking around to see if anyone, especially Lotta, is looking. But when you find everyone preoccupied either with each other or the cake, your shoulders relax.

“What’s up? You having a good time?” Twisting to face him, you edge back until the counter digs into your back. Taehyung’s face is a dangerous proximity to yours.

The anticipation for the night you have planned for him in your bedroom thrums in your core. Patience has never been one of your strengths, and right now it is testing your very limit. You could kick everyone out right now if you really wanted to. But you won’t. You’ll wait.

You wipe the chocolate off the corner of his mouth with a swipe, the gesture you can’t tell if motherly or romantic. And just because Taehyung is peering down at you so longingly, you flick your tongue out and suck the sweetness on your thumb.

His breath hitches.

“Uh- I…” For a second, all thought is scattered in his brain, and you almost laugh aloud at how susceptible he is to your attacks. “Yeah, of course. I’m having the best time.”

“Am I the best roommate ever or what?” You watch his eyes trained on your mouth. From his alcohol scent, you don’t trust him to have enough restraint not to kiss you right now so you turn your back to him and rest your elbows upon the island top, leaning over to finish your cake.

In your peripheral vision, you spy his hands crawling towards your sides to cinch around your waist, his front pressing into you as he holds you from behind. The warmth of his body seeps into your back, and you swear you can feel the beating of his chest against your shoulder blades. A tingle shoots straight down your spine when he plants a soft, brief kiss on the shell of your ear.

Good thing you turned around then, your intuition was right. Taehyung has never been able to suppress his overt affection after a few drinks, and certainly not after this many. And no matter how much you want to just turn around and pull him into your lips, you fight it.

“Babe...” He groans into your ear and though it was barely audible even to you, you quickly glance up to see if anyone has heard. Of course, no one heard, they are all stood far enough that even without the music, they’d have to strain their ears to hear his whisper. Paranoia is eating your head away.

“Don’t ‘babe’ me, Taehyung.” Your heart is racing, which is weird because you swear you used to be completely immune to his charms. “You’re being too obvious, babe.”

“You don’t ‘babe’ me. I can’t control myself when you call me that.” The warmth of his breath fans all over the back of your neck, sending a convulsion of shivers down your spine.

One of his hands stretches for your wine glass, but knowing him well enough to predict it, you draw it away from his reach. “Stop drinking, you’re literally about to pass out.”

“No, you’re about to pass out. On my-” hiccup, “dick.” You keep your eyes locked on the crowd, ready to shove Taehyung away if anyone looks your way. But still, you can’t help but lean back into him.

“That made no sense.” You chuckle, fingers brushing over the smooth thin skin of this hand.

“Just one sip.”

“Taehyung. Stop. Drinking.” You grab his hand that tries to make a run for the wine again.

“But, Y/N…” He whines and slumps onto you, knowing that whining has gotten him what he wanted before.

You turn around, grab his face and pull him towards you until your mouth is brushing his earlobe. “Be a good boy and stop drinking if you want the best birthday sex of your life after this party. You better not get whiskey dick because a have a lot planned for you.”

At that, Taehyung stops breathing, stops resisting. Against your shoulder, you feel his chest jump. “Oh. Um. Okay, yup, no more drinking. Got it, ma’am.”

He sighs, completely at your disposal, as your touch trails from the sensitive side of his neck down to his torso. “Good.” After looking around again to check that no one is looking, you press your alcohol-infused lips onto his hastily, savouring his softness for no longer than a few seconds before pulling away. God, is it difficult to pull away. You’re aching for him. “Go entertain the guests while you sober up.”

Satisfied grin from the kiss stretched across his face, he nods obediently and scampers over to his friends.

.

“Are you ready yet?” Taehyung calls, impatient and giddy, the music that you’ve put on playing softly in the background.

“Give me one more second.” You reply from the bathroom, doing up your last button and regarding yourself in the mirror. Hm, not bad. You’re pleased with how this turned out, if you do say so yourself. Taehyung is going to lose his mind.

Sheer black stockings stretched thin over your legs, you strut into his room where he is seated on a chair in nothing but his boxers, wrists shackled to the back. When his eyes land on you, a strangled noise emits from his throat.

“Holy. Fuck. Holy fuck. Holyfuckholyfuckholyfuck.” He chokes out.

The checkered material of your school skirt flies up at your every step teasingly, not high enough for him to peek your panties, but enough for your thighs to be flaunted.The clip of your stockings sit cool and beguiling on your quads. First two buttons of your white blouse undone, the matching red tartan tie hangs loosely around your neck between your exposed, pushed up cleavage. Your hair is tied into two school-girl braids, decorated in ribbons.

You’re Taehyung’s walking talking fantasy.

Innocent, chaste, ready for him to defile.

“Sir.” You address him, committing to your character, as you bow your head in courtesy.

Taehyung doesn’t appear capable of words, Adam’s apple wobbling in awe. So you continue your approach, making sure to regard him with large, demure eyes. As you sink down onto your knees between his widespread trembling legs, you notice a prominence already erecting in his boxers. You try not to smirk.

“What can I do for you, sir?” You put on your sweetest, most virgin of voices and bat your lashes once at him.

Chest rising quickly, Taehyung gulps as he realises that he’s most definitely going about to have the best sex of his life. “Um. Uh. Um.”

Smiling at his malfunctioning cognition, no thanks to you, you decide to help him out a little. “I’ve been sent to you for being a bad girl, sir.”

Do you find this slightly humiliating and degrading? Yes, you’re a woman of pride and a feminist. But does Taehyung’s birthday outweigh your morals? Yes, if only just for this night.

“What… What did you do, baby girl?” Voice dangerously deep, Taehyung watches you from his handcuffed posture, watches you twirl your braids in your fingers before they move sensual down your front, curving over your breasts and travelling to your core.

“It’s embarrassing to say but…” You look down in feign shame. “I touched myself.”

His whole frame tenses, arms straining to be freed from the cuffs so he can throw you onto the bed and fuck you mercilessly. His lips are parted, breath unsteady, cheeks still slightly stained from the alcohol but you made sure that he’s mostly sober by now. “Why did you touch yourself?”

“I was thinking about you, sir, and I just couldn’t help myself. Something started tickling down there and it felt so good to touch it.” Biting your lip, your fingers reach your clit over your skirt and start rubbing. The other hand traces swirls slowly up his thighs, higher and higher, until he’s buckling his hips.

“Wait, pause.” He says, your touch ceasing at his command. “Fuck, Y/N, I’m not going to last if you do this to me. I might even cum my pants.”

Usual smugness returning as you smirk up at him, your teeth digs deeper into your lower lip, refusing to break character. “Well, it’s a good thing we have all night then, sir. A water hose doesn’t just fire once does it?”

“Fuck.” Shutting his eyes, his head falls back to reveal his gulping jugular. Already so malleable? Yeah, he’s definitely not going to last. The first round. “Okay, okay. Resume.”

Your fingers reach the hem of his boxers, skimming through his tan, lustrous inner thighs. He jerks, his hard member jabbing out the soft cotton, begging to be freed. “So I was wondering if there is any way I could get out of this punishment, sir. My parents can’t find out that I’ve been a bad girl. I’ll do anything you want me to do, sir.”

“I see, Miss Y/L/N… How about, you warm up my lap for me first? I’m feeling slightly cold.” He wets his lips and bounces on his toes, his hard length jolting along with his legs.

“Oh, of course, sir.” When you stand up, you make sure to do it slowly, curving your body towards him to give him a good look at your breasts. He doesn’t miss the chance to devour them with his eyes.

Your hips begin to sway in the rhythm of the slow sensual music while you turn until your back faces him. You feel his glare immediate follow your ass, skirt sloshing side to side to reveal your plush cheeks. But rather than falling onto his lap as he wants, you stride over his leg, hand trailing across his chest as you begin to walk around him.

Massaging up his bicep, your hand arrives at his collar as you lick a thin strip up his neck. Taehyung shudders, struggling against his handcuffs again, cursing. “I can do anything you want me to, sir.” He shivers as you whisper into his ear, teeth grazing his skin. Your own heart is racing from excitement. Maybe you should do this more often. It’s selfish of you to do so since it’s meant to be his birthday sex after all, but you enjoy having him helt under you, seconds away from whimpering, gone be his natural preference for dominance.

As you walk around him, his head turns with you, not wishing for his sight to miss a second of this private show. Patience isn’t something he’s born with, he is a man who’s used to ceasing everything he wants. You know what must be going through his head right now, the anticipation, the hunger. So finally, when you’ve done a full circle around, hands not once missing the opportunity to feather his chest, you decide to ease him a little.

Deliberately unrushed, you sit inch by inch down onto his lap until his dick is burrowed between your warm cheeks underneath your skirt.

“Baby…” Taehyung immediately sits up, mouth arriving at the back of your neck, exhaling his hot fervour. The feeling of his skin pressed on the strip of yours between your skirt and cropped blouse has you craving for him to pound into you right now. Nothing can describe the flash of desire you get when you feel the touch of his naked body.

Then you begin to roll your hips, drawing loops of infinity with your ass to the beat of the song. The groan you elicit makes your cunt pulse. Taehyung’s stiff length jerks between your wiggling ass. His head falls onto your shoulder in a huff, metallic sound of his chains ringing as his arms clench.

“Sir, is that warm enough?” Your hips are merciless, rock back and forth, providing him with the friction he so craves. Hell, maybe you should start doing this for a living.

“Y… Yeah.” There is defeat in his voice, a croak that tells you that you’re the only woman to ever put him in his place like this. The only he’d ever submit to.

Slowly, you peel yourself off his lap, delighting in the small stained spot on his boxers, evidence of his drooling dick. You sink onto your knees before him again, fingers crawling playfully up his thighs. “You seem a little stiff, sir. Do you want me to ease some tension in your muscles for you?”

“Please be a dear.” The fervour in his eyes as he gazes down at you is pure, undiluted. It stirs something beastly inside you.

You’ve sucked Taehyung off a hundred times before, but something about the fact that he’s handcuffed to a chair on his birthday, almost cumming his pants, makes you especially eager this time.

A string of precum greets you as you take his lividly throbbing cock out of its restraints. You spare it a few pumps before you enclose the warm wet cave of your mouth around it. It’s perhaps evil of you, but you cut to the chase and go straight to deep-throating. He lets out a yelp of surprise when his tip slides smoothly through and hits the back of your throat. He’s going to cum soon, might as well give him your all, right?

Your mouth has gotten used to resisting the gag reflexes by now, engulfing him like a strawberry ice lolly during the summer heat. The occasional scrape of your teeth, just the way he loves, has him shiver beneath you. If he likes it rough, he should be able to take it rough. And when your tongue begins its inexorable attack at the pinch of skin where his tip ties to his shaft, Taehyung lets out a throaty cry. Not even a moan, a cry.

“Fuck, I’m losing my mind. Y/N, oh my god, keep going.” Through your curled lashes, you gaze up at him. His brows furrowed, guzzling up his favourite view in the world, maybe second to you riding him. Jaw unscrewed, he heaves at your large feign-innocent eyes, wrists dying to be freed so he could fuck your mouth.

Two throbs at the base of his cock, and he’s cumming right down your throat. It’s a larger load that either of you’d expected, telling of his obscene concupiscence. There’s so much cum that you can’t swallow, so you have no choice but to let it flow down his cock. With you still staring at him, he watches his white hot fluid dribble out your mouth and onto him, his features screwed tight in pleasure.

“Lick it off, baby.” Taehyung rasps, half his mind completely gone, dilapidated.

You hum as you spread his liquid around his tip and along his shaft, lips now glossy, before you slowly lap it all up. You know he is particularly sensitive after cumming, so you wallow in teasing his head a bit more, watching him writhe on his seat, whining your name. “Sir, how was that?”

Taehyung’s head is tossed back, eyes shut to recover from that post-orgasm intensity. He doesn’t speak at first, still trying to piece back together his mind. “I… That was… You deserve a worse punishment for doing that to me.”

Your core twists in excitement.

Briskly, you fish out the key to his handcuffs and unlock him, thrumming from the molten fury in his eyes. “What did I do wrong, sir?”

As soon as his wrists are free from their shackles, Taehyung stands and throws you over his shoulders. Smack. He hits your ass, your skirt doing little to soften the blow. You never knew yourself to be a masochist until it comes to Taehyung; his are the only hands you’d allow to spank you.

Then he tosses you onto the bed, your skirt flying up to reveal your peachy ass as you land on your front. “You just love it when I’m under your control, don’t you? Even this innocent school-girl roleplay is just a disguise to get me to beg for you, isn’t it?”

Twisting your head back, a smirk plays at your lips as you regard his frustrated yet immensely pleased expression. His fingers glide up your silky stockings enticingly, sending shivers coursing up your legs. “Sir, I have no idea what you mean.”

“Look at your fucking ass in this skirt, holy fuck.” He begins to knead the supple flesh of your behind, pushing up the skirt until it sit on your lower back.

Another smack.

He’s such an ass man through and through.

“Do you like my uniform, sir?” You moan between his smacks. Nothing really is compelling you to continue with this roleplay, but something tells you that Taehyung is bursting from it.

“I fucking love it, baby girl.” Smack. You can practically hear him grinning in satisfaction. His palm massages the redness he inflicted like smearing paint, touch growing closer and closer to your core.

Then with one push at your inner thighs, he spreads your legs wide open.

“Fucking hell. Crotchless? You’re really spoiling me tonight.” Like a little boy on Christmas Day, he marvels at your glistening slit, gaping at him in anticipation. Another small surprise for him.

“Of course- ahh!” You break into a moan when he runs two fingers down your folds, all the way to your bulging clit. “For the birthday boy.”

“Okay, now you definitely deserve the best head.” He lies on his front and grips onto your thighs to pull himself up to face level with your cunt.

You won’t tell him to prevent further ego inflation but every head he gives is the best head.

“Wait, Taehyung, it’s your birthday. Just let me-” You squirm in his clutch, trying to flip around, but he holds you still.

“Exactly. My birthday. I get to eat you out if I want to. It’s what my baby girl deserves.” For some reason, you blush. Who are you to resist head, especially from Taehyung?

Heat of his breath tickling your entrance, you plant your face onto the pillow and clamp down on your lip, preparing for that mind-twisting sensation that has a way of robbing you of sanity. His mouth finds your thighs first, kissing, sucking, blooming roses of his affection. You let him mark you - you are completely his tonight. Then his breath arrives at the sensitive crevice where your folds begin, a slow seduction towards your tingling bud. When he finally latches onto your clit, your eyes roll to the back of your empty head, a whimper ensuing.

His tongue is a predatory serpent, ceaselessly rolling your bud in his mouth. He’s rough, generous with the waves of pleasure he sends. You wish you aren’t lying on your front right now, just so you can look down at his concentrated face and pull on his wavy mop of hair.

With every flick of his tongue, you swim closer to your orgasm. His fingers are digging to your thighs, his breath quickening with his face buried in you. When he adds his long slender digits, you know your demise is round the corner.

“Fuck, daddy.” You yell into the pillow, that name coming so naturally to you that it requires zero brain processing to leave you.

Taehyung hums in response, those baritone vibrations shaking into your core until your leg involuntarily kicks back. Gripping onto the sheets, a string of profanities expel from you as that euphoric current comes crashing onto you, drowning your surroundings so that all you feel is his face, his tongue, his teeth, still mercilessly going despite your state.

“Fuck!” A tear slips from the violent stimulation at your clit continuing past your orgasm. You guess it’s payback.

Not one minute later, a second climax hits you, this time stronger than the last as it rides on the residual pleasure. The orgasm disperses into tension down your thighs, dying for more friction to relieve your cunt of the blissful ache. Warm tears stain the pillowcase your face is buried in, your cries muffled.

His pace gradually decelerates into soft kisses on your flower, fingers withdrawing to massage your folds. You are motionless, completely depleted after the dopaminergic release. Delicately, his lips travel up to your ass, where he sucks more colours as he awaits your recovery.

“How was that, baby girl?” Taehyung slowly turns you over onto your back, a lazy grin on his glistening mouth, your wetness slathered all over his nose. It views in your eyes as a display of your possession. You don’t miss the triumph in his gaze; you wonder if he likes making you cum more than cumming himself.

“Your mouth is fucking incredible.” You bask in the post-orgasm high, pulling him atop you, hand locking in his curls. You taste yourself as you kiss him, slowly and lethargically, your energy ebbing back to you.

“Yeah?” He smiles against your lips. “You know what’s incredible? You in this fucking uniform.” Pulling away, he scans your body top to bottom. And as you follow his gaze, you notice his hardened cock, once again ready for another round. You surprise yourself with how ready you are to take him, exhaustion not yet settled in from his overstimulation.

“You like it that much?” You press your lips together, and as used to Taehyung’s constant flattery as you should be, you still feel proud.

Taehyung nestles his face onto your neck. “If we went to high school together, I would 100% have been your bitch. Not a single doubt. Whipped.”

Your heart squeezes. Whipped.

You kiss his hair, resisting the urge to make a comment about what he said. “Haha. I would not have noticed you, I was obsessed with the captain of the football team.”

Taehyung lifts his head up, frowning at you with a playful annoyance. “Are you sure you want to mention another man in front of me right now?” For emphasis of his possessive mood, he grinds his member into your thigh. You can’t help but push back to feel him digging into you. Possessive Taehyung toys with your strings.

“Yeah, what are you going to do about it?” You taunt further, pulling on his locks. Taehyung’s competitiveness is an easy target for manipulation; everytime he starts to go soft and sappy on you, all you have to do is tug on his jealousy and the bull will come charging back full force.

Surely enough, he growls into your ear. “Don’t forget who you’re speaking to, miss. You wouldn’t want your parents knowing the naughty things you’ve been up to, would you?” So he does love the roleplay. His tone slightly sarcastic, but also not really. But before you can hiss a witty response, he silences you with his teeth on your neck. As he sucks on your tender skin, your nails rake across his back in pleasure. He’s growing bolder with his territory.

“More hickeys?” You purr, not exactly in the complaining tone you’d wished it would come out in.

“Yeah, what are you going to do about it?” He mocks, leaving a wet purple trail across your throat.

You allow it for the sole reason that it’s his birthday. Otherwise, you’d be kicking off.

You’ve never liked the idea of hickeys, the notion that someone feels entitled to mark your skin as theirs. You don’t belong to anyone. This is your own skin, and no one else’s. Yet - right now, as Taehyung nips at your neck, hand yanking on your uniform’s tie to pull you closer to him, you feel like you do belong…

You don’t finish that thought.

Reaching down, you begin stroking his patiently awaiting cock. “You’re brave for someone who’s dick is in my hands.”

Taehyung breaks away from your neck and reviews his work of art. The wolfish grin an indication of his pride. “You’re going to kill me tomorrow.” He says without the fear that should come with such statement.

Yes, you’re definitely going to.

“Then fuck me until I forgive you.” You challenge, unbuttoning the first button of your shirt while your stroking quickens.

He doesn’t need to be told twice. Fingers scrambling to undo the rest of your shirt, his mouth finds yours again, sucking on your bottom lip until it’s sure to swell later. Your bra falls loose with a dexterous flick, a gesture he can do in his sleep. Yet, he makes no move to remove your checkered tie at all.

When you try to loosen it yourself, he grabs your hand and pins it against the pillow. “That stays on tonight, along with the skirt and the stockings.” Voice laced with carnality, there’s a feral glint in his glare.

“Yes, sir.” Smile unstifled, you fall back into obedience.

Taehyung dares to plant more bitemarks down your chest before taking your nipple in his mouth, tormenting the sensitive bud relentlessly. Patience wearing thin, you line his tip with your slit, dallying it around to coat it with your dampness.

“Wait, grab a condom.” He mutters.

“Don’t need one.”

He looks up, confused. “What? Why?”

“I started taking the pill. Surprise.”

The look of pure shock and delight that usurps his face, for the third? fourth? time tonight, sows a seed of joy in your core.

“Wait, seriously?” You swear you feel his cock twitch happily in your hand. That stupid boxy grin that makes him look like a kid again… You want to kiss him dizzy.

“Yes, seriously.” You would never admit that you started taking contraception solely for Taehyung, because that would be weird, you absolutely did not do it for Taehyung. You’d always wanted to start contraception anyway. This was your own decision, influenced by no one else.

Certainly. No one else. Of course.

“Holy fucking shit. Y/N, you’re amazing.” Taehyung cannot contain his glee despite its juxtaposition with his pulsating cock about to enter you any moment now. “All this for me?” He asks, still in disbelief, as if the answer isn’t already written in big bold black letters.

“For the birthday boy, and the birthday boy only.” Your nose grazes his. These are the very words you’d be embarrassed to be caught saying to any guy, yet you’re currently too fuelled by the desire to please him to berate yourself.

Without another second gone to waste, Taehyung pushes his girthy member into your heat. Though it glides in with ease, your walls are stretched so wide that your inside stir, a sore pressure squeezing around him with each thrust. You always seem to forget how well he fits into you, and so each time comes as an eye-rolling surprise - the way he fills you so completely and entirely with his hefty cock.

“Oh fuck, you feel so-” He doesn’t manage to finish his sentence, too caught up in the raw unobstructed sensation of your slick walls.

Lifting your leg over his shoulder, the cavernous angle allows him to jolt deeper into you, his tip violently punching through you. While one hand remains on your ankle, the other twists your tie around his wrist and pulls as if it were a leash. “Sir…” You choke out at the constriction around your throat.

“Are you going to bad girl again?” He grunts, sweat beading on his forehead while he continues to ram his hips.

“No, sir. I won’t touch myself again,” you moan under him, “unless you are watching.”

“Fuck, Y/N.” One eye shut, Taehyung sticks his thumb into your mouth to suckle on. Your tongue swirls around his finger, biting down every time you need to shriek in pleasure.

After a while, he flips your bodies over so that you are riding him, watching, mesmerised, as your breasts bounce freely each time you spring on his dick. Your body falls back at the rippling coil inside you, hands braced on the mattress to keep you upright.

Taehyung could watch you ride him for the rest of his life. Hell, if he has a heart attack and dies this very moment, he would die the happiest man.

Sometimes, while you’re fucking, Taehyung gets a sudden rush of jealousy. Jealous that he wasn’t the one to ruin your innocence. Jealous that someone else other than him got to, or still gets to, fuck you like this.

He pulls on your tie so that you fall over him, lips colliding to remind himself that he’s the one fucking you right now, the rest shouldn’t matter. The way you moan into him reassures that no one has ever, or can ever, fuck you the way he does.

Then a messy whimper leaves you like a symphony, and for the third time tonight, you come undone, unravelled.

“Fu-u-u-uckkk.” You cry, arms looping around Taehyung’s neck, holding on as if he’s your lifeline because you yourself are unsure how much of this you can take before you drown.

“Baby, you’re so good, cumming for me again.” He sings, knowing that words like these thrums something in your core. You lap up his praise, smiling against his teeth despite yourself. It’s honestly a miracle how your usual brusque controlling self is suddenly transformed into his docile little girl, especially after a round of orgasms. “I’m going to cum again too.”

“Daddy, fuck, please. Cum inside me.” You pant, hips bouncing as fast as your aching muscles allow. Truth be told, no one has ever finished inside you before. And you are dying to find out how it feels.

Taehyung seems to know this. He grabs onto your waist, holding you in place, and plunges unforgivingly into you, penetrating your walls so ardently that you are shoved near the brink of yet another orgasm.

A grumble rippling through the room, finally, you feel a hot jet shoot into you, squirt after squirt of his thick cum filling you up. He frowns, a hoarse cry from the immense pleasure arriving at his cock, taking over him. Fucking hell, this is hot.

And kind of really intimate.

However, you notice that his pace has yet to slacken.

“I’m not done with you yet.” His eyes open to reveal pupils glowing with vehemence. Your clit throbs.

Still inside you, he turns you over so that you are both on your sides spooning, one of your legs hoisted up by his rough grip. The slap of your skin rings crisp and clear as he continues to fuck you. You lean back into him, ignoring the sticky coat of sweat coalescing your skins. His cum lubricates each thrust as you feel some spill out of you. His fingers start to stimulate your clit to help you reach your ultimate climax, viciously rubbing your sensitive swollen bud so much that you begin to see stars.

For him to keep fucking you even after cumming despite his tremendous sensitivity… Taehyung is going wild tonight.

“Are you going to cum one last time for me, baby girl?” He pants heavily in your ear.

“Yes, daddy.” Your own cunt is leaking profusely its tears of joy; you don’t think you’ve ever been this wet before.

In a few more thrusts, Taehyung is cumming inside you again, this time naturally less than the last, yet from his loud coarse groan, you deduce is much more intense. He pounds slowly yet robustly, milking every last drop into you. Due to the sheer oversensitivity, he has no choice but to pull out of you immediately after, leaving a spurt of his cum surging out of you.

“Oh my god.” He moans into your neck, both your heads spinning from the vigour of your intercourse.

But he knows you’re still a minute away from your orgasm. And never one to disappoint, he quickly sits up and spreads your legs open.

“Holy fuck.” Taehyung freezes at the sight of his cum slowly trickling out of you. To him, it’s a sign of possession, ownership. Apart from his ex, he has never fucked without protection, certainly not those random one night stands. To him, it’s a sign of intimacy.

Catching his white liquid in two fingers, he inserts it into your already gaping mouth, smearing it all over your tongue. In your cute little braids, you swallow it willingly, and Taehyung swears that he could fuck you again right then and there.

“You like that?” He asks, sticky fingers entering your core, feeling how clenched you are due to the pent up pressure.

“Mhmm.” You nod, hips lifting off the bed so that he can reach deeper. His thumb massages your clit, long digits moving in a come hither motion, stretching your walls in cusps that his cock did not have the ductility to reach. “Ahh, shit.”

Determination worn on his face despite his tiring limbs, Taehyung fucks you with his finger as you thrash beneath him. Your clit is already exploding with sensitivity from the previous rounds, and on top of that, with his thick knuckles push into you again and again, you are clawing at him while your whole body convulses.

The coil within your finally snaps. The ecstatic sensation exploding within you, flooding your every fibre until tears spring out your eyes. A clear liquid shoots out of you to both your surprises, and sprays its droplets towards Taehyung. His eyes widen, marvelling at your beauty as you cum not only on his fingers but all over him.

“Jesus Christ!” Chuffed with himself evidently, he leans in to kiss you, deep and desperate, while his fingers slow their steady thrusts to let you ride out the remainder of your high. His mouth is warm, a familiar taste as you regain your sense of self and surrounding that you tend to lose during sex.

As your brain begins to function again, the first thought you register is how much you don’t want to stop kissing Taehyung, how much you don’t want to let go of him.

“Taehyung…” You whine, bottom lip in the possession of his teeth.

“Feeling good?” He lets go of his bite, but lips remain dearly magnetised to yours. Dragging out his fingers, the wet noises of your clenched walls ring. Taehyung sucks on his dripping digits as you push his sweat-dampened fringe out of his face to survey his eyes. Full of yearning. And the way he is sucking… appears almost as a last display of submission after completely ruining you. A last shred of I’m yours.

“So.” You peck him. “Fucking.” Another. “Good.” Peck. Your bodies naked, your skirt creased and skin claggy, you refuse to release each other from your embrace. “But Taehyung…”

“What it is, my baby?” From on top of you, he is looking down at you as if you’re some delicate little buttercup in a barren field, a ray of joy radiating from his smile.

You tense. My baby.

You two might be kind of screwed...

But you’ll think about that another time. Right now, you just want to be held and kissed and looked after.

“It’s not fair. This was meant for you, but you made it about me.” You don’t know what’s taken over you but you pout at him, the same way he would do to you when he wanted something. But why, of course, it’s just like Taehyung to make you come four times despite it being his birthday sex. You don’t even know what to expect for your own birthday.

His own hair dishevelled, he tucks your loose braids behind your ears, a gesture of affection. “Nothing gets me off more than making you feel good. This was about me. This was everything I wanted. Best sex I’ve ever had. But in what world would my best sex not include making you squirt?”

Your don’t know why but you feel incredibly vulnerable right now, your hard edges softening. It’s the after-sex glow that you’re seeing everything in. You feel warm, bubbly, tender.

And now your chest feels weird, like something itching to rupture out of your ribcage. You want it to stop, yet also don’t.

“Taehyung…” You whine his name again. “No fair… You can’t be like this.” Your brain offers no explanation as to why you’ve adopted his usual saccharine manner, other than the fact that he has fucked you completely senseless.

“Like what?” He asks, egging the rare words of sweetness out of you.

“Like… You know… So giving and nice and perf…” Your voice trails off when you notice his excited smirk. God, what the fuck are you saying? You flush in embarrassment.

“Perf…? His smug grin only grows at your shyness.

“Stop. You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Stop teasing me.” Taehyung chuckles at your frustration, taking the chance to kiss the tip of your nose before you try to squirm out of his arms like a cat.

“No, go on. You need to be better with your words. Tell me how you feel.”

Your entire face is heated.

“I… You’re just… You treat me so well. How am I supposed to sleep with anyone else anymore?” You immediately wish you didn’t say it out loud. Because your phrasing implies that you want monogamy, commitment. It’s not what you meant at all, you don’t think. You just meant… You don’t know what you just meant.

You search his eyes frantically, in fear that he’s thinking the same, only to find them calm, content. “I mean, I guess I’m pretty fucking awesome. Thanks.”

Rolling your eyes, you’re grateful for his childish humour obstructing any serious consideration of your words.

“Don’t make me take it back, moron.” You scoff, pinching his round cheek between your knuckles.

“Too bad, it’s my birthday, everything I say is the law.” Still hovering over you, he presses gentle kisses all over your face, delighting in the way you pretend to hate it even though you can’t suppress the smile. When he stops, his face is sincere, the playfulness gone. “Y/N.”

“What?”

“Thank you so much, honestly, from the bottom of my heart. This was… the best birthday I’ve ever had. Not just the sex, but the whole time with you, the dinner, the party, everything.” Your heartbeat quickens, unable to hold his gaze so you focus on the curve of his collarbone instead. “Even better than the pirate-themed birthday party my parents threw me when I turned eight.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Honoured. It was my pleasure.”

“Seriously, I lov-”

Taehyung catches himself before he could finish that sentence. Those unspoken words hang over your heads like a puppet.

Because for some reason, although you’ve said ‘I love you’ to each other a plethora of times in the past, this time feels like a different connotation is implicated. The line between platonic love and romantic love feels blurred. And neither of you know which love is meant.

Taehyung is a sentimental guy, you tell yourself. Of course he means he loves you as his best friend. And that’s surely what you mean too when your eyes are pleading him to keep kissing you.

There’s a moment of silence, for you both to gather your scattered thoughts, staring at each other, unsure what to say.

You clear your throat, dispelling the tension in the air.

“Lets go clean up.”

“Yeah.” Taehyung rolls off you, avoiding your eye as much as you are avoiding his.

The clean up is wordless, both pretending to be too preoccupied to spare the unspoken words any thought.

Except they’re all that’s playing at your mind.

Taehyung didn’t mean it like that. Taehyung doesn’t love you like that. You’re just overthinking. And he’s overthinking about you overthinking. You two are fine, you’re normal.

Examining the purple clouds he had imprinted on you, a stream down your neck, a cluster around your breasts, then the large ones between your thighs, you’re surprised to find not one drip of annoyance. A scary thought dawns on you. What if you like them? What if you like being marked by Taehyung?

What the fuck is happening?

You wait for him to crack a joke to ease up the awkwardness, glancing up at him in the mirror as you dry your hands on the towel by the sink. He doesn’t. Instead, he’s perched on the edge of the bath tube. Zoned out.

Have you finally taken it too far? Finally overstepped that hazy nebulous line that you perhaps should have set more clear?

“Hey, Taehyung.” His head snaps up at you, eyes large with uncertainty. “You okay?”

You want to reach out to touch him, brush his cheek, kiss his forehead. But you hold back. Not wanting to fuel the fire of confusion. But then he tugs you towards him by the hem of your skirt, corner of his lips turning up, imbuing you with a gust of relief.

“Just thinking.” His fingers crawl up your legs, holding onto your hips like his hands belong to nowhere else. “Come here.”

Chest pounding, you walk towards him, let him sit you down on his lap. Though you wish not to look at him with his face so close to yours, your eyes cannot pull away from his striking beauty. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, but Taehyung’s feel more like the front door to your home. When you look into them, no matter how you’re feeling, whether you’d been fighting or kissing, you just feel embraced in a cloud of clarity, security.

You don’t want to think about the complication between you two at the moment. You just want to be looking at him, touching him, holding him.

You watch him glance at your lips, hesitancy playing at his mind. You know he’s thinking the same.

“We’re okay, right?” Throat tight, you ask, rather pointlessly.

“Of course. We’re great, same old us.” His arm around your waist feels warm and safe, and when your mirror his growing smile, you almost believe him.

But when your lips gently press against his, you know it’s a lie.

You’re not the same old you.

Taehyung feels different. Skin smoother, tastes sweeter, mouth softer. The roughness of his usual kisses is gone, replaced by an inexplicable tenderness that makes you feel things in your gut. You swat those feelings away.

Something is changing. And as much as you don’t want to acknowledge it, you don’t think you can ignore its booming presence.

You don’t dare make a sound as he carries you back to his room. You don’t protest when he throws one of his t-shirts over your head. Nor when he holds you into his chest, lips tracing your forehead with a soft sleepy smile.

Noting that you’re being uncharacteristically quiet, he pokes the nub of your nose. “Who stole your tongue?”

Act normal. Just be your loud annoying self.

“Uh… You.” You murmur, unable to meet his eye even with strenuous effort

Well, fuck.

“Okay, let me give it back to you.” Before you can protest, he is kissing you again. And you want to push him away because you feel your heart lurching to your throat, and you don’t think it is healthy. But your feeble hand that was meant to shove him off lands weakly on his pec, and somehow with a mind of its own, snakes up to his neck and pulls him in. His tongue unfurls onto yours, gently sweeping away any logic.

When his lips finally leave yours, you’re out of breath.

You don’t know what’s happened to you. Since when did you react like this to Taehyung?

Forcing your usual smirk, you try to wear a convincing facade that you feel nothing out of the ordinary. “I’m expecting great things for my birthday, though to be honest this is going to be hard to beat.” The underlying dishonesty tastes sour. You’ve never had to put on a front with Taehyung, and doing so now feels… alien.

“I’ll start planning it tomorrow, don’t you worry, your highness.” Taehyung pretends to roll his eyes at your demand, though the circles he’s rubbing down your back is telling of his genuinity. He isn’t an classically romantic guy, not one for flowers and chocolate, but more a sentimental gift that leaves a deep meaning. You know you’ll love whatever he plans. It worries you that you’ll perhaps love it too much. “But seriously, thank you for everything. The easel? How much did that cost you? I’ve looked at that brand before and there’s no way it was cheap.”

“It doesn’t matter how much it costed.” Warmth is creeping up on your cheeks again. You try to excuse it as Taehyung’s radiant body heat. “Let’s just say I had to resort to prostitution to pay for it, okay?”

Bodies shuddering in laughter, some tension in the air is thankfully alleviated by your humour, filling you with hope that things should and will return to normal in no time. You just need to stop overthinking.

“Hey, can you sleep here tonight?”

You freeze at his request. Because despite your constant fucking around with each other, one clear boundary has been that you don’t physically sleep with each other after sex. If you do sleep over, it is always just a completely platonic gesture. No kissing or fondling. Something about falling asleep in each other’s naked bodies is too mushy and couple-like. The type of thing that make you puke.

“Why?” You frown defiantly at him. “It’s not even your birthday anymore, it’s past midnight. So technically, I don’t have to treat you like royalty anymore.”

“Why not?” Taehyung rebuts, that cocky expression making you want to nipple-cripple him. This difficult son of a bitch, does he not know that the line is going hazy between you two?

“It’s weird, we just had sex.”

“So? What do you have against sleeping together after sex? Scared that you’ll fall in love with me?”

Your chest sinks to your stomach. You swear to god, Kim Taehyung is going to be the fucking death of you, stupid shit. How could he even say something like that so casually?

“In your fucking dreams, prick. If anything, you’d be the one to fall in love with me first, I just made you cum three times.” Taehyung chuckles at the flash of fury in your eyes, amused by how easy it is to strike a nerve in you.

“Do you want me to fall in love with you?” Though his tone is playful, and the wiggle of his brows suggests his mockery, you don’t know if he is completely joking anymore. And suddenly, everywhere that you’re touching - your entangled legs, his hands on the small of your back, your chests pressed on each other - everywhere starts to burn.

“Shut up, I’ll fucking sleep here, okay?”

And so this night, for the first time in the seven months you’ve been on-and-off fornicating alongside your unwavering friendship, you rest in Taehyung’s bed, your frame tucked snugly in his, his arm reposed on your waist. And despite your fatigue, it takes too long for sleep to find you as you watch his shoulders rise and fall in the dark, lips slightly parted, beckoning you to kiss them.

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26/12/19

© Copyright 2019

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@taexxxiiaa @shookpreme @taetaeobsessed @tangledsparkles @nonexistentfucks @evilkookie @nbiased95 @taehyungmakesmeoof @itscalledgayhoney @tahaing @deliciouslydisturbed365 @expensive-bangtan-girl @jwlmnbt @herakimkim @dnyad @kaepjjang365 @expensive-bangtan-girl@gingerpeachtae @spring2787 @askingtheimportantthingshere @casualminiaturetimemachine @xblackclover13x @vasysauce @deadinsidebitch2412 @emiyooa @i-dont-even-know-fck @chimycthulhu @gixanjos @hisunshiine @xtaeyi @softjellyjimin @bluemooncnblue @malfeitofeitto @bangtanfancamp @keopitae @out-of-jams

[spiltscribbles]

Any chance you could give us some Arabic speaking Remus headcanons? Loved your latest fic ❤️ 📚

OMFG gorgeous sugarplum! I legit only just was reminded of this while scrolling through my inbox right now! But my heart is finna burst!!! Thank you SO SO much and yes I would love to give some Headcanons about this! Especially since the next long story I’m working on includes this dynamic, and I’m so excited about it!! However, common disclaimer that while I am Arab and culturally Muslim even if I don’t practice like the rest of my family lol, I am Palestinian and not Syrian. So with every identity there are different experiences and customs no matter how closely intertwined. So I apologize for any inconsistency   that a Syrian may read and disagree with, and please feel free to correct me<3 <3

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The FIC this HC is from 

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So first off some background on his mum in the story 

I chose the name Vivian based off a friend of a friend who’s uncle married a woman by that name back in Palestine,  so it’s definitely extremely uncommon, but a fully Arab lady was named it, so like it’s my defense bahaha. But it also means lively, and coupled with Hussein as her maiden name which means beautiful, it just fit her personality to a t!! 

She was born into a pretty secular family in Syria in the late 1920s, so there was a lot going on in that time period. But her dad was pretty influential, working in the government and such. Vivian was also the youngest of four girls and three boys so she was pretty spoiled tbh

She attended a boarding school in France through out her adolescence and decided to go to university there too, so she’s fluent in both Arabic and French, with pretty great English as well. Though she wasn’t exactly white passing, even though like a bunch of Syrians/Palestinians/Lebanese folk she was somewhat fair, she had distinctly Arabian features, like the large almond shaped eyes and thick lashes and thicker brows, and a long, largeish nose, accented by full lips. So she experienced a good amount of jeers and discrimination, especially when folks found out her surname. So I think she’s able to relate to Remus in that sense of being a wolf at least, and later on  when he comes out as gay.

It was 1950  when she and a few of her girlfriends went to Wales for holiday after completing university. The second Lyall first spotted her in the woods while she was trying to make it back to the cabin near the Irish Sea with her mates, it was something like love, because duh. She was a fucking knock out!! A babe and a baddy! Literally so far out of his league its ridiculous! But on Vivian’s side,  she was mostly just amused and a bit enamored by this cocksure Welshman who had the most endearing of crooked smiles that their son would inherit a decade later. So obviously she didn’t make it easy on him, but eventually she let him take her out on the last night of her trip, and was pleased to find out that they had the same sort of humor and the same passion for their careers and even the same love for the outdoors too.

 They had a long distance relationship for two years while she went to grad school so she could teach about classics while Lyall himself was rising the ranks in the Ministry for regulation and control of magical creatures— Unbeknownst to her, the Floo network  was very helpful with the distance. Just thank God Lyall himself is a Muggle born because he really had to fake the hell out of it lol.

So just to speed things up they got married on a lovely June evening in  1955,  subsequent to  Vivian excepting a professorial job in Cardiff after Lyall told her about the Wizarding world. At first Vivian thought e was tripping on some subpar edibles until he proved it by transfiguring her snuff box into a lovely broach that she kept for the rest of her life, So after Vivian was convinced, she became  absolutely enthralled by all of the magic so completely. 

They were trying for a few years when she finally became pregnant with Remus in 1959, and they were both so over the moon (pun unintended).

So like I said above, Vivian’s family are pretty secular, so I see her mostly practicing the cultural aspects of Islam. For example, every Friday— which is the equivalent to Sundays being the holy day  for Christians— she lights up the instance that she always keeps herself stocked up on after her annual trip to Syria, instead of the typical candles she ordinarily prefers.  And Remus swears that for the rest of his life whenever he smells it, he’s back to being a baby, puttering around the house and watching her dusting the shelves while humming quietly an Arabic song that’ played out the gramophone  by a man who’s music would soon become regarded as the song of the people. Or Remus would recall being snuggled into her lap while she read him a novel on the windowsill. Or he’d simply remember listening to his parents laughter fluttering in the air while he fell asleep by the fire, subconsciously making the flower buds closest to him bloom with his untapped magic.

Remus’s first clear memory— thanks to the endless pictures— is when he was around four years old, before the attack, and they were staying in Vivian’s home town in Damascus. While the men congregated out doors for cigars and cards and the women in the living room chatting while snacking on watermelon seeds, his older cousins— who were all girls— dragged him off to one of the bedrooms and doted on him because he was the baby of that side of the family. And he remembers walking out in a set of one of their heels and a headscarf wrapped around his head which made his Mama and Tata and Aumties laugh out loud and croon over him, and all his uncles and Sido call him Aumty Remus.

The attack by Greyback happened soon after they returned to Wales, and I’m not gonna touch on it becs I’ not finna depress myself. But it was a January morning after his first transformation and he remembers that when he woke up, he saw the cookies stuffed with dates resting on his bedside with a glass of milk that Lyall had put a cooling charm on. And they’re indulgent treats that Vivian makes for both Eids every year even though they don’t celebrate them in any other way lol. But the cookies always reminds him of family and of feeling safe in his mother’s arms, and they still work to make him feel better even after the worst thing he has ever experienced in his short life.

Remus’s love of poetry came from both sides of his parents, but it was listening to his mother recite the story of Majnun Layla in it’s original Arabic that really made him glow for the art form, and brought him to discovering his favorites like Auden and Neruda. 

There’s a ornate, wooden prayer box that has been past down on the Hussein side of the family for five generations, it was originally  meant to hold a Qran but for the past three it’s simply just been a beautiful piece of decoration. So when Vivian gave it to Remus when he was headed off to Hogwarts, little Remus asked McGonagall to help him with locking  charms so it could become a safe place for him to keep his most cherished of nicknacks ant momentos, so obviously,  she silently added a charm to keep the wood nearly unbreakable and the extension charm atop of that, like Hermione with her bag, so that he could keep as many happy memories as possible inside of it, and she prayed that there would be so many that it threatened to burst. 

The last time Remus opened the box was in 1996, when he was putting away the ring Sirius gifted him as a match to his own in some feeble promise of forever only weeks before James and Lily’s own engagement. 

Once during first year, he and the lads were staying up late, trading stories about how they got their most ridiculous scars— after seeing the one that scraped across Remus’s left shoulder blade— But it got to a point where they were all feeling a bit nippish, so they went down to the kitchens for some of the chocolate pudding that was served during dinner that night. And Remus idly asked the house elves if they could make him a batch of Kinafa because he was getting home sick and missed when he and his Mama would dash over to the city whenever they were feeling antsy, and she’d take him to their favorite hooka bar after buying a round of the dessert— which is basically sweetbread stuffed with cheese— from down the block. And they’d stay sitting beneath the starlight, and talking about her job and his lessons from school while she’d let him try a discrete puff or two and they’d laugh about everything and nothing at all.

The next time they stopped by the kitchens one of the younger house elves presented him with the snack gleefully, and it tasted fine, just not like how they do back home. So Remus smiled warmly at Tipsy, the house elf, and thanked her with real sincerity.

But his face must’ve betrayed him because after easter break, Sirius plops down a fresh batch of them on Remus’s bed before leaping into his own, casually mentioning that he saw how grossed out Remus looked when trying the one the house elves made, and it was from a restaurant close to Grimmauld so it’s not that big of a deal, and then he rushed to cursing at James for stealing his favorite pen and swearing that  if he broke it he’s gonna have hell to pay. Remus had only blushed and chuckled  with a small smile on his face when he cut himself a small piece and finished the half sheet off with the rest of their house later that night during an impromptu party that the Marauders would become infamous for in later years.

It was the summer after second year when all the marauders visited Remus back home in Wales and when they heard Vivian call him Qamar practically every other sentence, which of course lead to endless ribbing and eventually  to his nickname of Moony— even though it’s so fucking obvious and Remus loves and hates it in equal parts. God his friends are so fucking stress inducing!

Remus teaches the other marauders funny Arabic curse words and they use them in class so that they can talk shit about particularly disgusting Slytherins without them being any of the wiser. (Yes I did do this with my friends, and I’d do it again! POW! POW! POW!)

It’s from Vivian that Remus has an affinity for coffee as strong as shit, but also prefers his tea weak— specifically two sugars and a dash of milk. But seriously, if you’ve ever tried Arabian coffee you’d understand, that shit is so fucking strong it’s literally a hate crime LMFAO. But yeah, this habit is definitely a point of contention between him and Sirius— who’s actually so fucking posh no matter how much he wants to be punk, and he stands by only drinking black tea— like Merlin intended— and saying bugger off to any and all coffees. “Leave that shite to the French and Americans.” And Remus would try to keep himself from making eyes at him from across the table, because God Sirius is hot when he’s all fiery  and impassioned, even when it’s about the dumbest, most inconsequential shit.

Something that’s sort of funny is that Remus was the first among them to become a fucking pot head and could drink them all  under the table even though Sirius himself has got two stone and three inches on him. But Remus still refuses to eat ham, purely because he never grew up eating it and doesn’t care too now. Sirius had to specifically ask Euphemia and Monty to make turkey for Christmas dinner their sixth year just because he knew that Remus’s head would probably implode with the decision between being rude and not eating it or forcing himself to gag down the unfamiliar meat.

When Remus is really, really fucking drunk he definitely spends the night only speaking in Arabic! (Don’t look at me I’m trash just because I stole this from my own life lmfao) But yeah, it’s really fucking hilarious and Sirius swears to God he’s so fucking in love with him while listening to Remus ranting in the unfamiliar language. And he’s like positive that half the time he’s actually just cursing Sirius out but he doesn’t even care because it’s SO! DAMN! CUTE!  And sometimes Sirius decides to speak French at a drunk off his arse Moony, who occasionally replies back in a stiff staccato before returning back to the easy Arabic. And it’s just a mess.

Ok so sadness warning

In my head, Vivian loses her fight against breast cancer the July after the Marauders graduate from Hogwarts, and afterwords Remus gets a tattoo of her name in Arabic on his chest, and the word for soul on the nape of his neck. He locks away that battered copy of Magnun Layla in the wooden box she gave him years ago, along with a woolen  scarf that smelt like her perfume.

 It’s Sirius who buys a set of prayer beads to hang off her photo above the mantel in the flat he and Remus share, and when Remus sees it he literally feels like  he might crack open with tears, but opts to kiss Sirius thank you instead, and they stay tangled on the sofa for the rest of the day in quiet contemplation.

One night, in late 1979, while  the war was only getting worse and worse—  Sirius was hit by a cutting curse to the ribs. And it was really fucking bad, but thankfully James got him to his house in time for Lily to help and heal. He slept for the most part for nearly an entire day, but remembers snippets. Like when Remus had sprinted into the room with fear painted all over his soft features, and when James put a cooling cloth to his head. But most distinctly, Sirius recalls Remus gingerly lying besides him and Sirius talking gibberish at his boyfriend while Remus plunged his entire face against his back, eyes wet with tears and body shuttering as he squeezed him softly, saying something quietly in Arabic. Sirius obviously didn’t understand like 99.9% of it, but he did catch the word “Habibi,” which he instantly remembers as an old pet name Vivian use to call Remus with so much love it made her entire countenance sparkle. It’s an endearment  that means beloved, or darling, and it feels like Remus is begging Sirius to stay with him and Sirius’s throat is still raw from the screaming, so he can only  reply by dragging Remus’s hand up to his mouth and kissing his knuckles tenderly. And he knows that whatever he does for the rest of his days, he loves Remus Lupin with every cell in his body.

Oof this got mad depressing…. Chow anyways, I can add a picture of the container you’re suppose to use for the instance if anyone wants that?

Thank you again dear Nonny!!!

Ask Me For Headcanons About A Story I’ve Written Or For One You Want To See Written

[duchessfics]

A Lasting Mark Part 2

Billie x Fem!Reader x Audrey

Warning(s): NSFW, Dom/sub dynamics, semi-public sex, praise kink, sex toy usage, orgasm denial, cunninlingus, choking 

Summary: You finally go out on your first date with Audrey and Billie however the dinner goes in a suggestive direction leading to you going home with them. Even though you aren’t the most experienced, you quickly learn that their bedroom activities are much better than you imagined.

Word count: 8465

A/n: So...this ended up being over 12,000 words so there will be a part 3. But it’s already typed up and will be posted tomorrow! I really worked hard on this and hope you enjoy. This had a lot more warnings than I originally intended, but with Billie and Audrey I’m not surprised. ;) Enjoy!

Also @shineestark and @lana-b-bana I know you’re not on my tag list, but I figured you would want to know when I post this. I hope you like how this turned out as much as I do. :)

You can hardly contain your smile as the host leads you to the table Billie and Audrey reserved for your date. It has been around a month since you have seen either woman in person and you are looking forward to reuniting with them. Over the couple days you worked with them on set you had gotten to know them better and found yourself falling hard for them both. But you decided to wait to go out on an official date until shooting was done. However, that didn’t stop you from texting and having a couple late night facetime sessions with them both. As you walk, you smooth down your dress and notice they lead you to a more secluded area. Then you take a couple breaths to calm your nerves. Unfortunately, that effort fails as you see Billie and Audrey sitting at a circle table beside each other.

Audrey looks adorable with her short hair and wears a lacy, off-white dress that compliments her skin beautifully. And she looks to Billie who wears a blush pink dress and pearl necklace. And you have no doubt that they are genuine pearls. Her hair is curled and loose as per usual making you want to run your fingers through it to see if it’s really as smooth as it looks. They both look up as the host steps forward and you can’t help the blush on your face as they both smile up at you.

 After murmuring a soft thank you to the host, you take a seat and Billie murmurs, “You look beautiful tonight, sweetheart.” Did Billie Dean Howard really say that—to you? That is not something you thought you would ever hear even in your wildest dreams. You smile and blush even more as she looks you over appreciatively and reply, “Thank you. You both look stunning as well.” Audrey giggles and bites her lip, but something about her seems…off. Maybe they had a disagreement? They both have very strong personalities. Or she was filming for hours on end and definitely could be exhausted from that.

As you pick up the hefty, leather-bound menu and Audrey says, “We’re so happy to see you, darling.” You look to her sweet face and reply with a smile, “I’m really happy to see both of you too.” Then you pause, looking between them and wonder if this is too forward, but you decide to say it anyways, “I’ve missed being around you both.” Audrey blushes with the biggest grin while Billie smirks and looks as if she knew that already and it feels so good to be with them in person once more. Then you open the menu and before you can stop yourself your eyes widen at the prices adjacent to the food options. “Order whatever you would like, darling. We’re buying.” Billie says. Immediately you look to her and stutter, “T-that’s ok. You don’t have to do that—” But Billie raises her hand, making you stop and her glossy lips form into a smile as she purrs, “It’s my pleasure.” Your mouth suddenly feels dry as her darkened eyes keep contact with yours, so you simply nod.

You go quiet, looking over the list of delicacies and don’t know what half of these things are. The level of luxury in your life is very minimal. So, you decide to choose something that is basic, but at least you have an idea of what the item is. The waiter comes over and they look to you to order so you do so with a blush as you think about the price. Then the waiter looks to Billie and she orders something that you have never even heard of. But her practiced ease makes your stomach warm in arousal. Cool your jets, you inwardly tell yourself. It’s just a dinner order. Finally, the waiter turns to Audrey, but what happens next throws you for a loop.

As she begins to order, her throat closes up and she drops the menu, making your eyes widen. Her jaw clenches as her cheeks turn a dark red, but when she goes to speak, a moan escapes her lips. What the hell? Should you…do something? You aren’t sure so you keep quiet trying not to embarrass her further. Luckily Billie seems to notice and takes Audrey’s hand while saying, “Audrey seems to be tongue-tied at the moment. So, she’ll be fine with the same meal as me.” The waiter looks as shocked as you, but doesn’t say anything, leaving with an awkward smile.

By the time you return your gaze to Audrey, she seems less tense, but still blushes. “Are you ok, Audrey?” You ask, searching her face to get an idea of what’s wrong. She clears her throat and replies, “Y-yes. Sorry about that. I don’t know what came over me.” Even though she says she’s alright, you eye her down, very skeptical, but she gives you a small smile. As she does, out of the corner of your eye you see Billie smirking and know she must be up to something. But before you can ask anything more about it, Billie asks, “So have you previously dated anyone?” Ha! That’s a good one. You look down, a little embarrassed by your dating history or lack thereof.

“My older brothers were very protective of me, so they usually scared off anyone that was interested.” You begin and make yourself look up at them before you continue, “I dated a guy my senior year in high school. But it only lasted a little less than three months and fizzled out after we both graduated, and I moved away.” They both study you and Audrey says, “So…you’ve never dated a woman before?” Oh crap. Your eyes widen and you begin to inwardly panic as you explain, “Well, um, no. But I-I was, am, I am attracted to women. I just…no one asked me out.” Then you swallow and take a deep breath before explaining, “I-I like men and women…Hopefully that makes sense.” Then your eyes falter as your face burns. Did that really just happen? Unfortunately, it seems so.

Billie reaches over and takes your hand in her smooth, warm one, making you look back up. They both give you reassuring smiles and Billie runs her thumb over the top of your much rougher hand as she soothes, “That makes perfect sense, sweetheart.” You smile, glad that they understand and wonder why you thought they would judge you in the first place.

Billie’s smile turns into a smirk as she casually asks, “And how far did you go with your boyfriend?” At this point, you feel your chest heating up as you look between them and reply, “I…well…we just kissed.” Instead of looking to Billie’s dominant gaze, you look to Audrey and she chirps with a pleasant smile, “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, darling. I am quite certain that he loved every kiss you gave him.” You let out a little giggle and Billie releases your hand as the waiter comes over to deliver the food.

Once the dishes are served, before they can probe anymore about your romantic life, you ask, “So how did you two meet?” Immediately, Audrey’s eyes light up and she looks to Billie as she replies, “Well, we first met at an award show and even though I find most Americans to be abhorrent, I felt a connection with Bill right away.” You can’t help but smile as Audrey speaks and you find her nickname for Billie adorable. “So, we exchanged numbers and began to text back and forth. Eventually when the both of us had a break from jobs, we went out on an actual date.” Audrey finishes, letting out a sigh of happiness as she practically swoons under Billie’s gaze. While Billie is much more covert, you see that attraction reciprocated in the way she cares for Audrey. She looks to Audrey and murmurs, “The moment I saw Audrey walk into that restaurant, I knew I was head-over-heels in love with her.” At that, Audrey giggles and lets Billie give her a gentle kiss.

Between bites, Audrey explains, “We went out on a couple more dates before I let Billie take me home.” Billie chuckles, raising her eyebrow as she looks down at Audrey, and comments, “You let me take you home? I distinctly remember you begging me to take you to my home. But perhaps I’m mistaken.” You giggle at the comment while Audrey huffs, but smiles. Then Audrey looks to you and lets out a dramatic sigh before saying, “Anyways, then we really began to explore our relationship. Billie is amazing. I mean, she makes me feel like a teenager again even though the days of my youth are long over.” At that comment, Billie shushes Audrey and kisses her cheek before she says more to Audrey than you, “You are nowhere near being old, my darling. You’re like a fine wine, getting better with each day.” You practically swoon at how Billie compliments Audrey and can see Audrey genuinely smiles before giving Billie a kiss on her cheek.

Audrey brings her hand up to fan her face and she says, “They really ought to keep this place cleaner. Blasted dust getting into my eyes” But you and Billie chuckle, knowing dust has nothing to do with it. By now you are to the last bites of your meal and Billie speaks up, “After taking Audrey home, I learned she can be such a darling submissive.” Then she looks to you with an eyebrow raised and asks, “You know what a submissive is, sweetheart?” Your cheeks burn for the umpteenth time and you nod, your voice failing you as your own arousal resurfaces.

Billie chuckles at your response and takes Audrey’s hand as she looks her over. “For example, last night, I told her that she could only cum from my words.” Then she glances to you before murmuring, “No touching.” You face burns and you did not expect this insight into their sex life, but you are most definitely not opposed to hearing about it. Billie’s dilated eyes look you over hungrily and a whimper nearly escapes your mouth. “You know what sent her over the edge?”

Fuck. Me. Well these panties are definitely ruined. You clear your throat and squeeze your thighs together to get some reprieve before squeaking, “No.” Billie grins and looks to Audrey who is suddenly very quiet but has a small smile playing on her lips. “I told her to imagine someone touching and kissing her in all of her special places. And just before she came, she cried out your name.” Your whole body heats up and you glance at Audrey who looks as red as you feel at the moment. But her eyes are almost completely black, and she licks her lips, clearly aroused.

Then Billie leans towards you and murmurs, “Darling, the thought of you touching her made her have the most intense orgasm she’s had in weeks.” A smile creeps up on your face at the thought of causing that. You haven’t felt this kind of influence and it does a number on your butterfly-filled stomach. Meanwhile, you still can’t manage to speak words, thinking about what Billie just described and wishing you were there. Billie releases Audrey’s hand and leans back, clearly amused at you and Audrey’s very apparent arousal. Then she tuts her tongue before saying, “But Audrey sometimes has problems with her attitude and that has to be addressed.” Then she looks to Audrey and says, “No one likes a bratty girl.” Audrey doesn’t speak and averts her eyes, only making small glances at Billie.

Before Audrey can respond, Billie returns her gaze to you and explains, “Today was one of those days. So now she’s paying the price.” You furrow your brows completely confused. She’s on a date with you…Is that a punishment? Surely not since she had an orgasm at the thought of you. So, you tell Billie, “I-I don’t understand.” She grins and pulls her chair over, so she sits beside you, making Audrey let out a whimper of protest. Then she pulls out her phone and opens an app as she murmurs, “Currently, sweet Audrey has a vibrator in her that I control.” Suddenly, things begin to make more sense and you are in disbelief that this is actually happening. But God you would love to have Billie dominate you too.

Your face flushes and all you can manage to say is, “Oh.” Billie chuckles and you suppress the shiver of arousal that almost makes its presence known. It doesn’t help that her sweet scent now completely fills your nose as she gets even closer to you. Then she says in a softer tone, “I’ll show you how it works.” You watch her press a button and look up as Audrey drops her fork on her plate and takes a deep shuddering breath, closing her eyes as she trembles in pleasure. As this all occurs, the room temperature feels like it has risen significantly.

Billie chuckles and says, “I can turn up the intensity too.” And she slides her finger over her screen to increase the number present. “Billie.” Audrey says in a strained moan and grips the table, clamping her mouth shut. Billie’s dark eyes look to you and she asks, “Should I stop?” Your eyes widen at being the one to determine this. After looking to Audrey’s desperate gaze, you nod and reply, “Yes.” But you can’t deny that there is a part of you that would not have minded teasing Audrey further.

Audrey lets out a sigh of relief as Billie turns the vibrator off. Then she looks to you and breathes, “Thank you.” You look to Billie, unsure if you should reply. Wait—what? How does she determine what you say? She gives you a small nod and you look to Audrey before replying, “You’re welcome.” giving her a small smile, still imagining her crying out your name in the thrashes of her orgasm. Audrey picks up her fork and goes to take her last bite as Billie says, “Audrey and I have been doing this for a couple hours and she does deserve a reward for taking her punishment so well.” At that, Audrey perks up and looks to Billie with a smile on her face. Billie ignores her, looking to you and murmurs, “Now you don’t have to do this at all, but I know Audrey and I would love it if you came over and helped me reward her. Would you be interested?” You look between them and know your answer before Billie finishes her question. “Yes.” You say almost as soon as she finishes speaking.

She eyes you down and asks, “You’re sure? It’s ok if you say no. We won’t be upset.” But there is no doubt in your mind. Looking to them both, you have no idea what the night holds, but you are as sure as hell that you are not leaving this place without them. You give her an affirming nod and try to make yourself sound more confident as you answer, “I want to.” After hearing that, Billie grins and gets the waiter’s attention for the check.

You walk with them out of the restaurant to a luxury car and Billie walks ahead before opening the back door for you. You blush at the gesture and say, “Thanks.” She gives you a smile and makes sure you’re completely in before closing the door. Then she goes around to the other side and opens the other back door for Audrey. Once you’re both in, Billie gets in the driver’s side and turns on the car. But before she goes to leave, Billie turns back and looks to Audrey.

“Since you behaved so well in the restaurant, I’ll let you cum.” At that, Audrey lets out a sigh of relief and says, “Thank you.” But Billie’s smile turns mischievous and she says, “But the vibrator stays on until we get home.” Both of your eyes widen, and you can’t imagine having that on the whole ride home, especially with LA traffic. Audrey goes to say something, but Billie raises her eyebrows and firmly says, “Unless you would rather not cum at all while the vibrator is on?” Audrey fervently shakes her head, tousling her short locks as she cries out, “No! Please No!” Billie goes back to her confident smirk and purrs, “Good girl.” Then she looks to you and you find yourself both terrified and aroused at what she will say to you.

“I have a task for you too, babygirl.” Billie murmurs. Your insides warm as she uses the pet name. Then she bites her lip and chuckles before saying to herself, “Babygirl, hmm, I really like that.” But she goes back to focusing on you and says, “I want you to help Audrey out as she cums. Can you do that for me, babygirl?” Each time she says that pet name, you feel your body buzz in arousal and nod before softly saying, “Yes.” Billie smiles and gives you a wink before she pulls out her phone.

You know when the vibrator is on from Audrey letting out a groan as her head falls back against the plush leather headrest. Meanwhile, Billie chuckles and begins to pull out of the parking lot. You scoot towards the middle spot, looking to Audrey for some guidance. She sits up enough to face you and moans, “Kiss me.” So, you bend down towards her face and she meets you halfway, desperately capturing your lips. You close your eyes and moan at her boldness, getting a taste of her lip gloss as she wraps her arms around you to pull you closer. Meanwhile, your hands come up to cup her face and you part your lips to let her tongue enter. As she does, you let out a sigh, leaning further into her as pleasure takes over.

But after a couple moments, Audrey abruptly breaks from your lips and moans, “Fuck.” However, Billie’s voice warns, “Audrey you know we don’t use such dirty language outside of the bedroom.” You decide a distraction might help so you cup her face and whisper, “It’s ok.” Then you guide her to kiss you once more, partially to help her and partially to feel her lips on yours again.

Audrey’s body trembles and her arms tense up before she parts from your lips again, whimpering, “I-I’m close!” But instead of trying to recapture her lips, you hold her close and murmur against her neck, “Let me see you cum, Audrey.” Then you begin to kiss and suck on her neck, going harder as she lets out mewls and whimpers. Audrey’s body stiffens and she says, “Oh God!” then she shudders and lets her head fall forward onto your shoulder. You feel yourself warm up as she clings to you through her orgasm. Once she seems finished, you back up a little and Audrey lifts her head to look at you. Her sweet face is adorable as she smiles up at you and bites her lower lip. You smile at her blissed-out face and wipe some of her hair off of her sweaty forehead.

“Such a good girl, Audrey.” Billie murmurs making you both look to her. Even though she isn’t addressing you, your stomach flutters at the words “good girl.” While she makes sure to keep facing the road, LA traffic gives her plenty of time to look at you both in the rearview mirror. Then Billie’s eyes look to you and she says, “How about you climb up on Audrey’s lap and explore her body further?” Your face flushes, but you nod and stutter, “O-ok.” Then you hitch up your dress with trembling hands enough to straddle Audrey’s lap. Already her face looks strained and her lust-blown eyes look up to you. Audrey’s arms slide up your back and she pulls you flush against her body.

A squeak escapes your lips, but any other sound is swallowed up by Audrey’s lips on yours. Then instead of going to cup her face like earlier, your shaky hands land on her front and slowly slide down until you meet her breasts. Audrey whines against your lips as you gently squeeze and she thrusts her chest out further, as if encouraging you to take more. While you are the one pleasing her, you find your own pleasure increasing at her encouragement and moans. So, you give her luscious mounds a firmer squeeze and massage them while you roll your hips over hers, losing yourself in the moment. Before long, Audrey breaks from your lips, letting out a cry and you can tell she is about to cum again. So, you lean down to kiss and suck the delicate skin of her neck.

Her hands stroke up and down your back and she holds you even closer as she moans, “That feels so good, darling. Just keep going, just like that, love.” In response, you moan against her neck, continuing your movements and before long Audrey is shuddering through another orgasm more intense than the first one. Billie keeps quiet this time, but you can feel her gaze on you both. As Audrey keeps going, you both keep each other close and you murmur encouraging words while she falls apart in pleasure.

You don’t know how many times Audrey has cummed or even how much time has passed, but she can hardly speak as Billie finally turns off the vibrator. Once she turns off the car, you finally look around and realize you are in a garage. So, you climb off of Audrey’s lap, smoothing down your dress as you give your swollen lips a break. Billie gently opens the back door and leans down to meet Audrey’s glazed over eyes as her hands come up to cup her face. “You ok, sweetheart?” Billie murmurs as her warm brown eyes scan over Audrey.

Audrey gives a lazy smile and speaks in a sleepy, exaggerated voice, “Yes. Y/n was brilliant.” You blush at the compliment and Billie eyes you over with a satisfied smirk. Then she gives you a wink and you feel yourself aroused even more by that movement. Billie returns her gaze to Audrey and murmurs, “Let’s get you inside.” Then she helps Audrey stand and holds her up as they walk towards the door. However, Billie stops them and looks back to you, making sure you’re coming. You climb out of Audrey’s side, shut the door, and dash up to the other side of Audrey so she can get some support from both you and Billie as you walk inside.

You gasp as you step into their luxurious home and look in every direction making them both chuckle as you take everything in. But you don’t slow down, helping Audrey into a kitchen that looks like it’s made for a professional chef. Once there, Billie helps Audrey into a chair and pecks her forehead before murmuring, “I’ll get you some water.” Your eyes follow Billie’s figure as she saunters over to their massive cabinets. That dress hugs her curves just right and you find yourself mesmerized. How is it possible that someone—well actually two people can look so perfect? However, your eyes flick back up to her face as she twists back to look at you and asks, “Would you like a glass of water, babygirl?” You give her a smile and reply, “Yes, please.” Her eyebrow raises and she gives you a smile as she praises, “Good manners.” You smile and blush, looking down in bashfulness.

But as you hear her heels tap against the floor, you venture to look up and get a gorgeous view of her rear as she bends to pick up some ice that dropped on the floor. The way her ass strains against the fabric makes your mouth water.  And as you watch, you lick your lips, feeling your cheeks flush with arousal. However, you get startled by Audrey asking, “Enjoying the view, darling?” Immediately you look over to see Audrey smirking with a knowing look. You find your cheeks burning as you stammer out, “I…well—” but you shut up as Billie comes over to you.

“It’s alright, babygirl,” Billie murmurs as she smirks, and her eyes rake over you. Then her eyes return to yours and she continues, “Audrey gets distracted by my ass all the time.” Then she hands you a cup of water and you smile in a gesture of gratitude, words failing you at the moment. You take a long drink of water, hoping it will cool you off while Billie walks over to give Audrey her water before lighting a cigarette.

Within minutes, Audrey has drunk all of her water and Billie happily refills it for her, holding the cigarette in her mouth as she holds the cup under the water dispenser. The room fills with the smell of smoke and perfume making it sweet and smoky in the best way. As Audrey drinks more, she begins to perk up again. Meanwhile you continue to sip on your water, watching Billie keep a hand on Audrey’s shoulder as if anchoring her. Audrey happily leans into her and Billie continues to smoke her cigarette, looking you over once and awhile.

After letting out a puff of smoke, Billie strokes Audrey’s back as she says, “Audrey, since you did so good, I thought I could teach you to top Y/n.” Your eyes widen and Billie smirks as she takes another drag before purring, “You seem like such a sweet submissive girl, darling. And judging from earlier events, it seems you find being told what to do to be arousing.” Your face flushes and you can’t deny it. In fact, it feels like you can’t speak with your mouth being so dry. Her eyebrow raises and she asks, “Am I wrong?” But she already knows the answer. You shake your head and answer, “No.” Audrey looks up to you with wide, brown eyes and asks, “You’re ok with this?” You bite your lip, a little nervous, but know that this is what you want.

Billie lets out a puff of smoke as she says, “We’ll take good care of you, babygirl. I promise.” Then she smiles and you find yourself smiling back as you look to them both. “Yes, I’m ok with it.” You softly say. Then you swallow and try to sound more confident as you say, “I-I want to do this.” Audrey grins, her eyes sparkling and Billie smirks, putting out her cigarette as you finish your water. Once that’s done, Audrey takes your left hand and Billie takes your right hand before they lead you upstairs.

Another gasp falls out of your lips as you see their enormous bedroom and their hands let go of yours, letting you explore further. As you look over their distinctly feminine wardrobes and nightstands, you find yourself heading towards their California king bed. You run your hand over the silky bedspread, looking to the cushioned headboard and murmur, “This looks beautiful.” Then you look back to see both Audrey and Billie studying you. Your cheeks warm and you let your hand fall to your side before saying, “Right, sorry.” Then you bow your head ready for their instructions.

Billie comes forward and says, “Don’t be sorry. We’re going to take things nice and slow. This should be enjoyable for you.” You nod in understanding, still new to all of this. The corner of Billie’s lips curves into a smirk and she purrs, “Now how about you come over here and sit between us, babygirl.” Oh my. This is really happening. You blush and nod coming closer as they both perch themselves on the end of the bed. Then you hesitantly sit between them, trying to watch both of their faces. Once seated, you can’t help the smile on your face, and they give reassuring smiles back. Then Billie cups your face with one of her hands and guides you to look to her.

Each time you are close to Billie, you feel like you get swallowed up by her warm, brown eyes. They are a touch lighter than Audrey’s and remind you of milk chocolate. And her touch is always soft and gentle. You find yourself leaning towards her hand as her thumb lightly strokes over your cheekbone making her smirk. “Since Audrey got to kiss you all the way home, I think I should get some sugar too, hmm?” Billie purrs. You giggle at her comment and nod. So, her other hand comes up to the side of your face and she leans towards you, her lips melting against yours.

You bring your hands to cup Billie’s face and mimic her movements, making her moan into your mouth. And although Billie is much slower in kissing you than Audrey was, Billie’s lips and tongue have a dominance that make you unravel. You taste the vanilla sweetness of her gloss this time with the slightest hint of smoke, but that doesn’t bother you. It turns you on. Goosebumps pop up over your back and arms as you feel your hair get brushed over your shoulder and lips press against the nape of your neck. The feeling makes you shiver in arousal and you moan into Billie’s lips as Audrey begins to kiss and suck at the skin, making Billie smirk against you. Audrey continues to suck and nibble at the skin causing you to whimper at the hint of pain, but you can’t deny the wetness rapidly forming between your legs.

Eventually, Billie releases your lips and leaves a line of wetness as she kisses down your neck. Once she gets to the sensitive bend of your neck, her teeth nip at your skin, making you gasp her name, eyes closing in pleasure. You always heard that it was a sensitive spot but feeling her mark you there was better than you could have imagined. Then your fingers find residence in Billie’s remarkably soft hair to keep her close. You smile to yourself, knowing now that you were right about her silky hair.

Both Audrey and Billie continue to kiss and mark you from both sides when you feel the zipper of your dress slowly being pulled down. You twist your neck as much as Billie will allow and look back at Audrey. Her mouth leaves you and she smiles up at you before she leans up to kiss your lips. Then she pulls the zipper down the rest of the way. You shiver at the feeling of your skin being exposed and suddenly feel a little self-conscious about the scar on your shoulder.

Audrey parts from your lips so her dark chocolate eyes can meet yours and she asks, “You ok, darling?” You inwardly try to shake off that concern and give a small smile before replying, “Yeah.” She smiles up at you and you feel your stomach flip. But you get distracted by Billie’s lips leaving your neck. So, you look towards her and feel her breath fan over your face as she murmurs, “Can you lift your arms for us, babygirl?” You bite your lip to keep from moaning as you feel the heat of her body radiate onto yours. Then you nod and do as she requested.

Two pairs of hands gently lift the dress up over your head and Audrey leaves to set it on their chest of drawers. You let out a quiet whimper from the cool air behind you and your first reaction is to cross your arms and curl into yourself. Billie gently takes your hands and asks, “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Your whole body burns as you look down from her questioning gaze and stutter, “I-It’s stupid, but,” you stop yourself and take a deep breath, forcing yourself to look to her before continuing, “My scars are big and ugly, and,” you take another deep breath before saying, “I-I just don’t want you to be disgusted when you see how big they are.” Billie gently shakes her head and moves her hands up to cup your face with a warm smile to greet you.

“Hey.” She says in a soft and soothing tone. Your eyes stop shifting down and you look directly to her. Her thumbs gently brush over the skin of your face and you feel warmth flow through you as she murmurs, “You have no reason to be embarrassed or disgusted by your scars.” Then she pecks your lips before asking, “You remember how amazed Audrey was when she saw your scars?” By now Audrey is back behind you and she rests her chin on your shoulder, soothingly rubbing your arm as she says, “I still am.” You smile, remembering the first time you met Audrey on set and nod. Billie grins and says, “You are not ugly. Far from it, babygirl.” Then her hands leave you and she says, “Ok?” You look between them and Audrey gives your arm a reassuring squeeze. “Ok.” You softly reply, sitting up like you were.

Audrey runs her lips over your bumpy shoulder while purring, “So beautiful.” Then her fingers unhook your bra and Billie helps you shrug it off before you slip off your panties. Oh God. This is really happening. Billie hums appreciatively while Audrey can’t keep her lips off of you and you are sure there are marks all over you. Then your whole-body flushes as they both kiss and compliment how beautiful you look. And as they both give attention to your almost completely scarred upper leg and side, you find yourself feeling comfortable again.

After a moment, they both come up so they face you and Billie looks past you to Audrey, stroking your arm as she asks, “What would you like her to do for you, Audrey?” You look back to Audrey and see her brown eyes studying you. And you feel nerves and excitement as you think of everything you could do. She keeps quiet, nibbling on her lower lip for a moment before she smiles and says, “I want her to eat me out.” Your cheeks flush at the request and Billie asks, “Can you do that for Audrey, babygirl?” drawing your attention. You look to her and reply, “I-I can try.” Billie smiles and murmurs, “Good girl. How about you get down on your knees for us.” So, you slip off the bed onto their plush carpet and shift so you’re on your knees.

Audrey makes quick work of removing her clothes while Billie grabs some pillows to help prop Audrey up. Then, just as quick, Audrey opens her legs and exposes herself to you. Your eyes widen as you look to her soaked, bare pussy. Wow she is like a goddess as she looks over you, body flushed with desire. But you pause, uncertain You’ve seen videos of women doing this, but it’s different now that you’re the one doing it and her pleasure relies on you doing well. You scoot a little closer, knowing what you promised; however you pause when Billie kneels beside you and asks, “Need a little help?” You blush as you reply, “Y-yes please.” Billie smiles and says, “I’ll guide you.” You inwardly let out a sigh of relief, glad she will be there. So, you turn back to face Audrey and Billie comes a little closer before murmuring in your ear, “The first thing to do is to get the vibrator out.” Then she takes the hand closest to her and moves it up to Audrey’s dripping core.

“Go ahead and rub her clit with your thumb. That’ll help her relax.” You rest the palm of your hand on her mound and bring down your thumb to dip into her folds, slowly moving it until you feel her little pearl. Audrey lets out a moan, making you smile up at her as you continue to move your thumb over her sensitive nub. Billie keeps close enough that her hair brushes your shoulder and neck and her hot breath on your ear makes you shiver as she murmurs, “Good girl. Now use your other hand to pull out the vibrator. But don’t pull too hard.” You nod in understanding and bring your other hand up. Fortunately, the end of the vibrator is visible, so you take it with the tips of your fingers and increase the movements of your thumb as you begin to gently pull.

Audrey’s neck and chest are as pink as her face as she moans and shifts her hips. You notice the vibrator is much wider than you thought and the sounds that result from you taking it out are obscene, but turn you on nonetheless. Meanwhile Billie continues to murmur soft words of encouragement as you continue to pull. Finally, the vibrator leaves Audrey’s hole and she lets out a sigh of relief, relaxing into the bed. Your eyes widen as you finally see how big the device is and Billie says, “I’ll take care of that.” So, you hand the dripping vibrator to her and wait for further instructions.

For now, Billie sets it to the side and comes to face you before murmuring “Now it’s time for you to give Audrey a special greeting.” You eagerly nod, making Billie chuckle and she says, “I want you to give her pussy lips a kiss. Then you can start to lick with your tongue.” You lick your lips in anticipation and say, “Ok.” Then you turn back, so your face is level with her weeping slit. Well here goes nothing. You bend close and press your lips against her bare ones, pausing for a moment before dipping your tongue in to taste her.

Immediately you close your eyes and moan into Audrey. She tastes sweeter than you thought. “You like how she tastes?” Billie asks. You pull back a little to see her smirking. “Yes.” You breathe, licking the remnants off your lips. However, you realize how slow you’re being and turn to look up at Audrey. “Sorry I’m taking so long.” You softly say. Billie pets your hair and soothes, “It’s ok. This is a time for you to investigate her body. Audrey can be a good girl and wait.” Then Billie looks towards Audrey with her eyebrows raised. “Right, dear?” she asks. Audrey’s legs tremble, but she gives a half smile while replying, “Of course.” Then you bend close and begin to lick her pussy once more.

As you go, you look up to Audrey, watching her reactions while you suck and lick at her clit. You venture to enter your tongue into her and Audrey moans, “Yes, that feels so good, darling.” Arousal flames in your stomach as she praises you and makes you work your tongue harder. She continues to moan praises, some incoherent while Billie keeps your hair back. The way her fingers brush through your hair down your back makes you tingle all over and the arousal between your own legs continues to build.

After a couple minutes, Billie leans in close to your ear and says in a low tone, “It’s ok to go harder. Audrey likes it rough.” At that you pause, unsure, and back away to face Billie. Audrey lets out a whine, but quickly goes silent as Billie shoots her a warning look. Then Billie’s face turns gentle before she looks back to you. You blush as you ask, “Could you…I mean, would you be willing to help me?” Then your eye contact falters as you look down and explain, “I just…I wouldn’t want to hurt her.” Billie’s fingers brush against your cheek, making you glance up to see her smiling. “I can help you, babygirl.” Then her hand leaves you and she says, “Go back to licking her.” And you eagerly do.

After a couple moments of getting your rhythm down again, Billie leans close, her hair tickling your skin as she softly says, “Now I want to you run your teeth over her clit.” Teeth? Isn’t that…harsh? You glance at Billie out of the corner of your eye, skeptical. But you listen, letting your teeth lightly graze over the swollen bundle of nerves. Immediately Audrey cries out, “Yes! Harder!” Ok. That’s unexpected, but Billie is right about Audrey liking it rough. Your cheeks warm at the praise and you listen, adding more pressure.

Audrey’s fingers come down to entangle in your hair as she pulls your face even closer. “Fuck! Just like that, darling!” Audrey moans. You smile as you keep going and Billie huskily whispers in your ear, “Now I want you to enter two of your fingers into her.” At this point, you can’t say anything, so you nod and lift your dominant hand. Then you wet your pointer and middle fingers in her juices before slowly easing them in.

You moan as you feel her warmth greedily take your fingers in, her hips bucking up for you to move faster. She groans and clenches down on your fingers and it feels indescribable. You are connected to Audrey in one of the most intimate ways possible and it is amazing. Meanwhile you continue to abuse her swollen clit with your mouth. One of Billie’s hands takes your wrist and she murmurs, “I’ll get you going.” Then she pulls your hand back until your fingers are nearly out of Audrey before slamming them in even deeper. Audrey moans and curses as Billie continues that motion, speeding up your hand until it moves at a brutally fast pace.

Billie murmurs in your ear, “I want you to keep going just like this.” Then she releases your wrist and you follow her instructions as Audrey begins to cry out and pull you closer. All of this feels surreal and you wonder if this is a dream. But Audrey’s nails digging into your scalp keep you awake in the best way. Billie pecks your cheek before leaving your side and standing up. You watch her walk around the bed until she stands over Audrey with her arms crossed. “Doing alright, sweetheart?” Billie murmurs with a smirk, making Audrey take her cries down a notch. Her cheeks are dark red as she answers, “Y-yes.” Billie leans closer and her one hand wraps around Audrey’s throat as she purrs, “Are you glad to be topping someone?” You moan into Audrey’s cunt as you watch her squeeze the hand around Audrey’s throat while leaning down to kiss her.

Audrey and Billie kiss each other while you look to them, keeping your pace. Then Billie says, “Why don’t you take a look at that sweet girl who is making you feel so good?” Her hand remains on Audrey’s throat as Audrey sits up and her darkened eyes look to you. You whimper under both of their gazes and Billie soothingly strokes Audrey’s cheeks and hair as she helps her lay back down. Billie backs up and murmurs, “But you’re still my girl, right?” Audrey arches her back and goes to say yes, but you slam your fingers in extra hard, making her cry out, “Oh! Fuck! Y-yes, Billie.” Even though Audrey doesn’t seem to have any thoughts besides pulling you close against her, there is no doubt Billie saw the mischievous glint in your eyes. You are sweet, but you’ve also got some spice too and Billie gives you a knowing smirk.

Then Billie releases her hold on Audrey’s neck, and you can’t help but wonder what that would feel like on you. Would it be frightening? Maybe a little, but you know she would never hurt you. She saunters out of your line of vision, swaying her hips dramatically as she is sure you are watching. Which you are. Even though your arm is tiring out, you keep up the pace, encouraged by Audrey’s moans and whimpers. Not long after, you feel Billie kneel beside you, but gasp as you feel her bare body rub against yours. And if you weren’t ready to be fucked before, you are definitely ready now. Then her lips start to kiss the top of your shoulder and she says between pecks, “You’re doing so good, babygirl…Listening to my instructions so well…I knew you would make such a sweet submissive.” But her compliments get cut off by Audrey whimpering, “I’m close!” Billie’s lips leave your shoulder, but she keeps close to you, her fingers stroking your hair and back once more.

“Do you want to cum, sweetheart?” Billie asks. Audrey sits up, her eyes nearly pitch black as she moans, “Yes. Billie—shit—Billie please let me cum. Please, please, please,” but her words die in her throat as Billie says, “Shh.” Meanwhile you are quickly beginning to lose momentum. Mind over matter, mind over matter. Hand do not fail me now.

Billie leans close to your ear and soothes, “We’re almost done, angel. I want you to curl your fingers up and towards yourself. Like this.” Then she shows you with her fingers and you mimic the motion. Immediately Audrey’s channel clenches up and you watch her head fall back as she moans, “Billie!” But your hand unintentionally begins to slow. Billie notices and says, “Ah, keep up your pace. You can do it.” If Billie says you can, you can. Simple as that. So, you speed up your movements to Billie’s set pace as Audrey continues to beg to cum.

But Billie shakes her head and says, “Not yet.” Audrey lets out something between a cry and growl, but listens. Then Billie leans close to you and whispers, “When I give her permission, I want you to keep going until I say stop.” She doesn’t even have to ask if you will because you both know you will do anything Billie tells you to do.

As Audrey’s legs violently tremble, Billie purrs, “Cum for me, my darling.” Audrey does so, letting out a loud cry and you watch her face contort from the strain of holding back to the overwhelming pleasure of release. You try to capture every sweet drop that pours out, but some gets smeared onto your lips and cheeks as she continues. Her nails dig into your scalp as she holds you close and you stay true to your wordless promise, continuing to lick and fuck Audrey with your fingers until Billie says to stop.

By that point, Audrey has let you go and the first thing you do is withdraw your overworked hand and let it fall to get some blood flowing to it. But as your swollen sensitive lips leave Audrey, Billie gently tugs your hair to pull you up to her. You practically fall into her warm, smooth chest as her arms hold you close, and she latches onto your lips. You hang on for the ride and let Billie’s tongue taste Audrey’s juices that linger on your lips and cheeks. Before long, Billie pulls back just enough for you to catch your breath and she moans, “You taste so good.” Then she chuckles as you give her a lazy smile. And you would say anything to get her to laugh like that again.

Her nose slides over yours as she murmurs, “I’ll give your lips a little break.” Then she bends to kiss and suck at your already sensitive neck. You let out a weak whimper at feeling her teeth, but expose your neck further, making Billie moan against your neck. Although there are some sensitive spots, it’s a hurts so good feeling. Goosebumps come up all over your skin as you feel her hands slide down to cup your breasts. Your hands move up her smooth back and you keep her close to you. Then her nimble fingers go on to pinch your nipples and you moan her name, arching towards her.

Billie chuckles against your neck before sucking another spot and rolling your sensitive buds between her fingers until they feel like little pebbles. Her laughter makes you feel weak in the knees and you are glad you have a sturdy grip on her. As her fingers wander further down and dance across your navel, you let out a whine and spread your knees as a way of directing. But you’re still unable to put exactly what you want in words. You want too many things to think straight. Billie chuckles and comes up and uses one arm to pull you against her, kissing your lips as her fingers venture lower. Your whole-body trembles as she ghosts her finger over your slit. “Oh, B-biliie.” You gasp, parting from her lips as your hips move with her finger. Her lips brush against yours as she murmurs, “You, my dear, are soaking wet.” As she finishes her sentence, her fingers dip further in, making you moan and your forehead rests against hers.

There is an audible sound as her fingers spread around your wetness and Billie says over your whimpers, “Shit, you’re dripping, my darling.” But then her fingers leave you and you perk up, letting out a whine of protest. Billie shushes you, kissing the corner of your mouth before she backs up enough to suck her fingers clean. After she looks to your distressed face and murmurs, “I know you need to be touched, babygirl, but do you think you could eat me out?” Oh. Oh no. You look down and nibble on your lip, torn by your selfish desire and wanting to please Billie.

Billie cups your face and soothes, “I won’t make you this time. But I can assure you that Audrey and I will make sure to take good care of you after this.” As you look into her warm eyes, you know you would be lying if you said you didn’t want to taste her pussy. And the idea of pleasing her is enough to send you over that ledge. So, you nod and say, “I’ll do it.” Her brown eyes look you over and she asks, “You’re sure?” You give her a smile and nod. If getting a taste of Audrey was that good, tasting Billie would be an amazing experience as well. 

Billie pecks your nose and says, “I want you to lay back for me.” You gratefully get off of your knees and lay back against the luxurious, cushioned carpet. Billie smiles down at you and lifts her leg so she can straddle your face. As she looks down at you, your breath catches in your throat. “You ready, babygirl?” Am I? Yes, hell yes I am. You smile up at her and reply, “Yes.” So, she adjusts herself before slowly lowering her pussy onto your mouth.

Tagged: @marilynroselleprentiss, @saviorinsilk, @chokemepaulson, @versonstar

Let me know if you would like to be tagged in future works!

[natsunoomoi]

Chinese Romance Novels in English

So by chance and obviously successful marketing, I’ve had a lot of web novel apps being advertised to me and out of boredom I downloaded one and got hooked real bad.

The first app I got I think I might delete because most of it seems like trash and was clearly like American wannabe writers. I kind of just read the first few chapters of one story that they happened to put into an advertised Facebook post and I just wanted to continue the story 1 or 2 chapters just to get off the cliffhanger, but the story itself actually isn’t that good and the character motivations seem kind of stupid. The main character also seems kind of like a Mary Sue where like she is just special by some huge coincidence of fate and it’s kind of annoying. Like the beginning part was alright, and then it took a sharp turn when the first guy she was into that rejected her decided for some stupid reason to challenge her new guy who accepted her and then when he claimed to not concede a fight to the death, he went absolutely apeshit and somehow it traveled into dark magic. Idek. Plus like...almost all the stories on that app for some reason have to do with wolf people and packs? Like it’s obviously some kind of trend inspired from Jacob and Twilight and I don’t even like that series. And in addition to that, it’s like on par with the famously former Twilight fanfiction 50 Shades where it has some really uncomfortable unhealthy depictions of BDSM relationships. Like it’s just kind of thrown in there for no reason...? Like whatever floats your boat, but you can totally write it in there in a more sensible way and not just like throw it in randomly. In that sense, maybe it’s actually worse than 50 Shades. Seriously a lot of the stories on there read like horribly written fanfiction by a 12 year old. I was 12 once and my stories then were no better because I had too many ideas and wanted them all in. That’s how much of a mess those stories are. This one I just mentioned is the better one. There’s another one I started reading that’s much worse that’s like a high school drama that I barely remember the story too, but I remember the person putting in a whole ton of One Direction lyrics, which I think is going to get the person and the app sued because lyrics are copyrighted and the writer shamelessly pointed out they are a Directioner and to unlock new chapters you need certain items that you can earn or buy and basically they’re definitely making money off of it.

But then similar to how I found this app, I found another app that had Chinese romance novels translated into English in the same way I found the previously mentioned app through a Facebook ad, which is cool cuz I don’t often get to read literally anything with main characters that are Chinese let alone Asian. Most of the Asian protagonist media I consume is from Japan and I just gave up on looking up anything in Chinese cuz I honestly didn’t know I could find any in English.

But damn, the quality of writing is rather good. The translations could use some work and consistency where sometimes the translator doesn’t know common English expressions or there’s grammatical mistakes in newer chapters or sometimes I think they’re speed translating too fast and accidentally mix up characters. But the story itself is top notch and suspenseful. I’ve been reading non-stop for the last week and a half and caught up and am awaiting new chapters. Sometimes there’s bits where character decisions are a little frustrating or like some of the plot twists are like again or like how come this person can’t catch a break, but I got invested in the story so quick.

There’s two in particular I’m enjoying right now. One is Irresistible Romance and the other is Thorny First Marriage on Bravonovel. It’s actually a bit pricey to charge for diamonds and pearls to continue the story, but I felt like it was worth it because I did want to read more and didn’t regret it. I actually started a third today just because I ran out of chapters in those two. Both are similar in that the male lead that the female protagonist is with or trying to get with is like a rich Chinese business man that is so well-known for their business acumen and power via their company that they can strike fear into the hearts of other people and companies. So there’s like some intrigue and like really fascinating maneuvers and media manipulation.

In Irresistible Romance, the main character is an actress that had a really shitty relationship with the loser President of her management company who was cheating on her with another actress and he had convinced his fiancee (the main character) to basically give up her life for him and help him to push the actress that he was ultimately having an affair with. The main character, Yan Wen, gives up the final straw when like he ditches her at the Marriage Registration Office for some lame excuse where he’s with his mistress and by chance the rich guy in this story shows up at the Registration Office and gets stood up by his own prospective fiancee although for him it was a random girl he picked from a pile just to satisfy his family getting on his case about not finding a wife. So basically because the main character grows a spine and decides fuck her fiance she’s not going to just take his bullshit, she asks the rich guy, Jiang Sui-an, if he’d mind marrying her. He totally accepts though and they get married on the spot. He seems at first to be kind of a cold-hearted jerk, but he’s actually super cool. Like he marries Yan Wen just to get his family off his back, but then after he does some research into his wife and finds her super interesting and as she begins her journey of trying to take back her life from her ex-fiancee and his stuck up bitch mistress, he like finds out and helps from the shadows and like realizes she’s actually super cool too. And then like through the whole process they actually fall for each other and are super sweet and have each other’s backs. They have a really beautiful and healthy relationship where they can each have their own separate lives and do their thing, but they get supported and help when needed.

It was so refreshing cuz like the rich CEO thing was like a huge fetish for sure especially after 50 Shades, but like a lot of people noted, that relationship was hella unhealthy. This story though, Sui-an lets Wen take her time fixing her career and life in her own way and like postpones announcing their marriage so she can set things right herself. He totally supports her space and her own decisions, but if he ever sees that she needs an extra boost or gets backed into a corner by some unexpected thing, he steps up and lends a hand. But ultimately he leaves everything up to her decision. And like on her end too, she’s totally a really good supportive wife and tries to make sure she doesn’t worry him too much and that he gets plenty of sleep and eats regularly, and she even tries to help him where she can with his work. They are so cute together. Along the way a lot of other people try to defame Wen or pull some shady entertainment world tactics, but she stays poised and lets the truth come out on its own or even does some defensive research and stuff. It’s so good.

Plus, writing-wise it’s really fascinating how they intertwine the online commentary tabloid headlines into the story so you can see different angles. And then when they write the antagonists’ sides they give you their internal dialog POV so you can understand the situation the best. The actual story and plot development is so good.

Then Thorny First Marriage, holy shit the intrigue. Plus for the most part, the main character is most like my personality only I’m not a former journalist. It’s just a lot of her reactions and sassy thoughts to things are really similar to me and how I feel like I would react if I was in her position. There’s a few times where she does things that I don’t think I would necessarily do or I would do things a bit more drastically, but so good and I identify with her. Writing-wise I don’t think it’s as good as Irresistible Romance because there’s been two times where they kind of forgot about something that they mentioned in an earlier chapter, so they have some issues keeping track of their plot twists, and there’s a few times where I’m reading like, “Why don’t you just tell them what happened and then they’d STFU?”

But yeah, this story starts out with the main character, Xia Zhi, waking up in the presidential suite of a hotel and not knowing how she got there and distinctly feeling like she was raped and finding some...remnants on the bed next to her. As the plot develops you find out that her asshole husband, who had never touched her himself for some reason and has the spine of jellyfish, sold her to some rich guy for 2 million bucks (she finds out later). What the actual hell? What kind of husband pimps his wife to another man?! And like she gets a pregnancy test later and somehow someone blabs to her mother-in-law and her mother-in-law totally doesn’t believe her and she knows that her son and her were never intimate, so she throws her out of the house. Then some dude that’s like some kind of secretary or assistant just comes by all stalker-like that appears to be from some rich guy that knows her and basically coerces her into going with them and going to some mystery safe house mansion. She’ll be cared for there by two staff, but she also tries to escape and find out who tf this guy is and if he’s the Dad. She still has a job and goes to work as a journalist, but gets assigned to interview some rich VP of a famous company. All the while she’s trying to get a hold of her asshole husband to find out what the hell happened to her that night she didn’t remember where she got super frickin’ drunk at his company party. This dick has been in hiding and trying to avoid her for some reason since that night and he finally calls back in the middle of her interview and because she’s freaking out about her unexplained pregnancy she unprofessionally takes the call. The rich VP, Sang Qi, ends up calling her boss and getting her fired, which I mean, obviously. That’s a thing where I probably wouldn’t have taken the call. One of the differentiating things between her and me. But how she reacts to being fired, yeah, that’s totally me. She runs into Sang Qi later at a rich people shopping mall shop and somehow manages to steal his phone and starts a plotline where she tries to use it as leverage to like get back at him and make a living for herself that also involves him being crafty and like kind of tricking her into some situations like confronting her ex-husband. And then like at some point she remembers a custom cufflink she remembered finding in the room she woke up in that one time and starts to wonder and suspect if maybe Sang Qi was the guy cuz he does have those kinds of things. And she like looks at the cufflink she has that she took from the room as evidence, but she has to do a direct comparison. He like uses GPS to find her mansion prison and tries to take back his phone and Zhi gets like even more suspicious that he is the guy cuz for some reason he knows how the balcony door at the place works even though it has a weird af lock, and they have witty banter and somehow he ends up staying over and she tries to sneak in his room at night to check out his cufflink but he catches her. And like hot damn, so much intrigue. After like a ton of frustration with trying to interrogate everyone around her about who the baby Daddy is she’s just like f it, I’m not going to be your baby incubator and tries to go get an abortion (I would’ve gone way sooner) and before they can start the procedure Sang Qi shows up and claims to be the Dad, and then afterward also takes care of her because she’s allergic to anesthetic. Since she knows who now they like stay together and stuff and she tries to question him about that night, but he actually has no memory of it either cuz he was super frickin’ drunk too. It’s just a lot of unanswered questions. And like since he’s supposedly the Dad, he tries to get closer to her, but she won’t let him really. There’s a lot of witty banter between them and like he even helps her out with her loser husband by getting him demoted. Over time they actually become fond of each other and like used to each other, and it’s really sweet. He actually is there for her and helps her on a number of occasions even though she doesn’t really trust him cuz of course he bought her right? But then little by little you see them really start to like each other and it seems like he might be more interested whereas Zhi is like more reserved because he’s her captor as far as she knows. But then just when you think that maybe they’ll get together, Qi disappears and then the process of him showing up you find out who the actual Dad is and a whole lot of family drama, and other drama where like you actually don’t know where Qi stands, and it like isn’t until like where I am that you find out he was actually upright the whole time. It’s so stressful but it’s so good.

There was a couple of times earlier one where there’s misunderstandings with other people, where I was like, dude, just tell the people your asshole husband sold you for money. I think they’d be more understanding of your situation if they knew.

And then like...for me, I like Qi and I came around to him after awhile, but like I suspected him and didn’t like him toward the beginning especially because he didn’t do or say anything that made him seem trustworthy. He never really lies except for one thing (about being the father), but also he like isn’t that truthful either, or rather, he doesn’t stop to actually explain himself properly which would have made Zhi not like freak out or mistrust him and would have made me not mistrust him. Like I shared a lot of Zhi’s fears because she was in an unfamiliar situation and being manipulated like a puppet by someone with money, and this guy claims to be the one that bought her like an object to be a baby incubator. I and the main character can’t respect that no matter how nice he is. If he admit he didn’t do it at the beginning it would have made all the difference. It’s a trek to find out who though. And at first even that guy sounds disgusting, but like where I am in the story maybe not? Like almost sympathetic.

The only one that I like really hate and disgusts me is her original husband. Like eww. He’s such a greedy asshole. And like later on you find out that actually he lied to her about how much he sold her for and it was actually more. What the actual fuck?! It wasn’t bad enough that you sold your wife for money, but you had to lie to her too about how much it was so you can hide the money from her? And for such a long frickin’ time he tried to coax her to come back and to not divorce him. What the actual hell? What kind of delusion is he living in?! But like also her original husband reminds me of someone I knew in real life when I was in uni. He was a friend of mine initially, but at some point he started making really uncomfortable jokes and it seemed like he liked me or something. I never viewed him that way, but we just hung out. And then at my uni because there was a huge rush to like try to figure out 2nd year housing, we arranged to do a co-ed roommate situation where like me and another girl and him and his friend would stay in apartment from our second year. To me that seemed normal cuz other friends of mine did that too because there’s only so many people you know and you have to try to snatch up and apply for apartments as soon as possible. There were long wait lines and I actually hadn’t thought about it until the last minute, so I didn’t see it as having much of a choice. But he started making cracks and fantasizing about neighbors and people misunderstanding and thinking we were married, which I didn’t find funny and how and why when there were other people we were living with too? It made me super uncomfortable and during the summer he was kind of like a stalker and tracking where I went so I just started avoiding him every chance I could. After awhile thinking about him made me feel physically ill. The next year after that my roommate decided to move out with two other girls into a different apartment (after unsuccessfully trying to make him leave). But the whole thing with how Zhi’s first husband was written totally reminded me of that guy. Especially with the lame excuses when confronted and stuff and not thinking and his unhealthy tie to his parents’ way of living.

That said, finding these stories are kind of like an unexpected comfort. I wish I could find someone as supportive as Sui-an or Qi. Especially when the men I’ve met in my life were just as bad as some of the other male characters or arguably worse. I’ve been bullied by the guys I fell for, I’ve liked some guys that were way too moody, I’ve had guys that liked me that were not creepy too, but I just wasn’t interested in them or the timing was just wrong, I’ve given up someone I really cared for because a mutual friend of ours crossed a line and then posthumously went kind of crazy from the grief, and I’ve met guys that were really fucking stupid and didn’t know how to act appropriately in a professional situation and actually sexually harassed and retaliated against me. I’m so tired and almost 4 years into living in Japan, I’m starting to realize that because of that last one, I think I gave up on my life because of trauma. Just hurt too many times, so don’t even think about love anymore cuz why bother? It took awhile for me to even be able to become a functioning human being again after the PTSD of harassment. I was really bad and freaking out because the guy that did it was so frickin’ stupid that he like wasn’t actually responsible enough to know the things he shouldn’t do and it was freaking me the hell out that he just didn’t know when he crossed a line. So I ran away to another country and tried to rebuild some semblance of a life for myself. Now my home country is a goddamn mess and I’d be in a worse position to go home, but at the same time, although my heart has healed enough to the point that I can function as a human. I am not at all motivated to look for anyone or let myself care for someone ever again. When I was younger I had so many dreams and really wanted a family. But now I am sad to say I have resigned myself to believing that that will probably never happen because I am apparently plagued by horrible people. I haven’t met horrible people since I’ve been in Japan, but I also don’t go out and talk to anyone other than co-workers and students because I’m busy and in my free time I want to introvert. It’d be kind of nice if I was lucky and had a kind of random chance like Yan Wen cuz like, I just can’t and don’t want to put up with low quality people.

That said, I was talking with my boss and co-worker the other day and we were discussing how China’s population problem with the bachelor society so there’s a lot of men but less available women to be their wife, so I was kind of wondering if that was also kind of how come so many modern day Chinese romance novels seem to involve a rich CEO. I suppose in China right now the chance that you could marry one is greater than anywhere else in the world because of the population problem, so maybe they’re trying to promote moving there and marrying them. LOL I’d be kind of suspicious of whether or not they’d be able to be like actually good husbands for real, but I suppose there probably is some sense of desperation.

And then because I ran out of chapters to read for today because I have to wait for them to translate more, I started another one about a Bossy Ghost Husband? It’s kind of creepy at the beginning, but the ghost husband thing has been something I was kind of curious about because you can marry the dead in China. But like for real I also wondered if youkai really are real or not and if you could unknowingly marry a youkai or something too, so basically it’s right up my alley too. And then also because my life is garbage I was like seriously thinking and wondering if it would actually be so bad to be single to the people who know you around you, but married actually to a ghost and have a ghost husband to go home to? Like would that actually be bad? I suppose in that same vein, it’s not much different from WoL having a secret relationship with Emet-Selch, but yeah.

Anyway, all of this gave me a lot to think about.

[mfingenius]

25 + 41?

25. Fairy tale AU + 41. First kiss

“Hermione, I’ve tried everything,” Harry groans into his arms. “Draco just doesn’t seem to get it!”

“What have you tried?” Hermione asks, without looking up from her book.

“Everything!” Harry says dramatically. “Flowers, hair brushes, even hair creams-”

“Hair creams?” Hermione does look at him then, blinking. “Harry, you do realize this is not another werewolf you’re wooing? Draco’s a dragon.”

“So?” Harry asks. 

“So?” Hermione repeats indignantly. “Dragons like shiny things! He doesn’t care about flowers or chocolates. To him, those are nice gifts, but they’re not wooing.” She frowns at him. “You’ve liked him for nearly four years now, Harry, when are you going to do something about it?”

“Hey, he had a boyfriend the first of those four years!” Harry says. A shitty, shitty boyfriend that Harry hates, but still a boyfriend.

Hermione shakes her head. “And the other three?”

Harry doesn’t have time to answer before the bell to the coffeeshop door chimes. He looks towards the door, and there’s Draco, smiling at him. Draco, with his beautiful, fair face. Draco, with the gold markings beneath his eyes, down the sides of his face. Draco, with his gorgeous, emerald wings that flutter whenever he’s excited and - 

Fuck, but Harry loves him.

“Hi,” Draco says, eyelashes fluttering as he slips into the booth beside him.

“Hi,” Harry responds, throat tight.

They’ve been friends ever since they met at school. Harry’s had a crush on him since the second year. Now, it’s their last year, and Harry still hasn’t told him. Hermione says Draco likes him, too, but Harry isn’t sure.

“Hello,” Hermione says, sounding exasperated.

Draco’s cheeks go red - Harry loves that look on him - and he waves slightly at Hermione, who shakes her head fondly and stands up. 

“I’ve a date with Ron,” She says, looking pointedly at Harry. “So I’ll leave you two alone.”

Before Harry can say anything, she’s gone.

“Oh,” He says, a little bit dumbly. He turns to Draco, who’s playing with the gold chain he always wears around his neck; it’s one Harry got him for his birthday their first year. “What would you like?”

“Anything with whipped cream,” Draco says. “And chocolate chips - and -”

“Basically the sweetest thing they have here, got it.” Harry laughs. He doesn’t know if it’s a dragon thing or a Draco thing, but he has the sweetest tooth Harry’s ever seen.

He gets their coffees to go, and they walk out of the coffee shop together. Harry glares at everyone who ogles at Draco.

“So,” Harry says, nervously. He needs to ask Draco out now, or he never will. “I was - err - I was wondering if - if you’dliketogoonadatewithme.”

Draco laughs lightly and looks at him curiously. “What? I didn’t understand that last bit.”

“If-” Harry clears his throat. “If you’d like to go on a date with me.”

Draco’s cheeks go flaming red, but he looks pleased. “I-I’d love to, Harry. Thank you.”

They agree to Saturday, since they both have finals this week, and when the day arrives, Harry’s very nearly vibrating with excitement. Hermione and Ron have had to listen to him talk about this on and on since they set the date, and they’re most likely sick of it, but Harry doesn’t care. He has a date with Draco!

He meets him in front of their favorite Ice Cream parlor, and Draco gets Chocolate while Harry gets cherry-vanilla.

“So,” Draco says, as soon as they’re out of the parlor. He’s been blushing whenever Harry looks at him since he asked him out, but it’s more out of pleasure than embarrassment. “Plans after we graduate?”

Harry hums. “Not sure yet. You?”

Draco shrugs.

Silence.

“So, err,” Harry says. “You like shiny things? As a dragon. And sweet things. Is that a dargon thing or a you thing? Either way, it’s very nice to see how happy you get when you eat - not that you eat too much - nor that you eat too little - I mean, I haven’t really noticed how much you eat - I mean-”

He’s cut off swiftly when Draco presses his lips against Harry’s briefly. Harry blinks.

 “I-”  Draco laughs slightly. His whole face is red, and he looks distinctly embarrassed. “I don’t want this to be awkward. I’m sorry.”

Harry blinks again.

“Harry?” Draco looks worried. “Please say something.”

Harry blinkes again.

“Should I not have done that?” Draco chews at his lower lip “I’m sorry - it was - I shouldn’t have-”

“You kissed me.” Harry says. 

Draco’s face goes redder, but he nods.

“You kissed me.” Harry repeats, blinking.

Draco nods again. “I’m sorry - I know I should’ve asked-”

Harry shuts him up by kissing him. Draco stiffens, surprised, until he melts into it, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck.

“Jesus,” Harry says, when he pulls away. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

Their noses rub together slightly, and Draco grins. “I can imagine. Want to do it again?”

Yes, Harry thinks wildly, as he stares into bright grey eyes. Yes, I do. 

For the rest of his life, he’s sure.

—————–

Sooo I hope you enjoyed it!!! Small note,, to everyone’s whose requests are still in my ib I am not avoiding it I swear. However, I have influenza, so I feel very very crappy, so it might take slightly longer than planned. 

Send me a Request :D

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying me a kofi

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Commissions

[everymovie2020]

Indecent Proposal (1993)

Date watched: 12 October 2019

Continuing with the 2019 Demi-athon.  This is a movie I haven't seen since the 90s.  I'm pretty sure the one and only time I watched it was on TV one night with my mum, and I remember being bummed out about it at the time.  I also distinctly remembered a sex scene between Demi Moore and Robert Redford that I must have imagined, because there's no sex scene between them in this movie.

I'm also going to preface this by saying that I thought literally every single character in this movie was an asshole. If this was r/AmItheAsshole? and it was any one of them asking the question, the answer to all of them would've been yes.  You're the asshole.

Plot:

Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore are a stupidly happy, ridiculously in love, super supportive couple who are trying to get their lives on track.  I would say they are late 20s/early 30s and they have been together since high school. He's an architect and she's a real estate agent.  She's also growing out her hair in this movie, so she has a cute little bob which looks great.

They want to build their dream house, so they buy a block of land on the beach in Santa Monica and mortgage the shit out of it. They're halfway through building when there's a recession, he loses his job and now they don't have money to complete the build, and they're about to lose the land and possibly their own house altogether.

So he did what anyone in that situation would do, which was to suggest they go to Vegas and win all the money.  She goes along with it because she supports him no matter what.

It's at this point that I would like to discuss her handbag, because I've never seen anything like it.  I will try to find a picture, but basically it's a slouchy backpack, and instead of the pack being at the back, there are two packs on either side of her hips.  So it has two armholes that she puts her arms through, and then the purse part is at her hips, and it's all connected as one big bag structure.  It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen, and I have to imagine that it would be super easy for pickpockets to steal your shit out of.

I found a picture!

Is that not the weirdest thing ever?

Anyway, back to the plot of the movie.  On their first day in Vegas they win like $25,000.00 and she meets Robert Redford in a fancy shop, where he offers to buy her a black dress.  She says no because she can't be bought (spoiler alert, she totally CAN be bought). They decide to go back the next day to double their money and of course they lose it all, completely.

It's at that point that Robert Redford meets up with them and they get to talking, he upgrades their suite and buys her the dress, and they're like, wow, this super rich dude is paying attention to us, that's really weird.  He then invites them to this fancy rich person party and she wears the dress (and looks incredible).

At the party, over pool, he makes the offer – one million dollars for a night with Demi.  They both laugh it off, but he's serious, and then they're like, "Well, we could really use the money."

So here's the thing – they both talk it out, they agree that it's one night, it's just sex (they've both slept with other people as well, so it's not like they've only ever been with each other), and she was willing to do it for them so they could buy their block of land and finish building their house, and get themselves out of debt.

Woody is fine with it, and she goes off to do the deed with Robert Redford, and then Oliver Platt is like, "Fuck, you're a stronger man than I am, what if he runs off with her, what if they fall in love," and instills a lot of doubt in Woody, and so he tries to stop it from happening but it's too late.

And at this point I'm going to say that I think what Robert Redford has done is really, really fucking terrible and gross and he should be ashamed of himself.  To dangle something like that in front of them, which then throws their lives into chaos and almost leads them to divorce, and then to act totally blameless about it, is total rich person bullshit.  He's a fucking sociopath.  He wanted to fuck Demi Moore, he knew they were in debt and so he came up with a way to get her to do what he wanted her to do.  It's gross.  He's gross.

So she goes off him with Robert Redford to his boat, they do the deed and in the morning she's returned to Woody, who is just a mess at this point.  And then they go home and try to pick up the pieces, but here's the other thing the prick has done – he's bought their block of land in Santa Monica, because they were late on the payment.

Again, the reason they agreed to do this in the first place was to save that block of land.  He knew that.  He bought it anyway, and acted like they did him a favour.  He's a monster.  He's an actual monster.

Now they've done it for nothing, they've got all of this money but not the block of land, and their marriage is in the pits. She moves out and starts dating Robert Redford (honestly, for all her talk about how she can't be bought – she's bought very, very fucking easily, let me tell you) and Woody just bums around feeling sorry for himself.

She files for divorce, planning to move in with Robert Redford, and then Woody turns up at this zoo animal auction they're at (for charity) being hosted by Billy Connolly (random!), and he bids a million dollars on a hippo because it means something to their relationship. And then he sits down with her and signs the papers, tells her he loves her but he's setting her free.

And she thankfully dumps Robert Redford and goes back to him.  Robert Redford, in the one nice thing he does in this movie, actually forces her hand on that, by telling her that she's not the first woman he's made the offer to, even though that's a lie.

Because you know what, Robert Redford?  Instead of testing people with a million dollars and treating them like pawns in your little billionaire game, you could actually stand to meet a woman the old-fashioned way (i.e. by not offering her money) and maybe try dating rather that just straight-up manipulation.

Honestly, these fucking people made me so mad.  You can't even feel sorry for Woody Harrelson because he's the one who decided to gamble their fucking money away! Gambling is not a get rich quick scheme, you idiots!  And Demi just cuts and runs when things get hard, they don't even try therapy – she just leaves.  What the fucking fuck.

These people are assholes and they all deserve each other.

[yetanotherbuffyblog]

I thought we were done with sexbots!

Alright that’s only kind of the Plot for this episode? 

Glory decides that since the Key she’s looking for is a person, it must be someone close to Buffy that keeps close and treats differently than everyone else. Makes sense, yes? So she instructs her minions to watch Buffy and her friends and see who fits that description, someone new in her life that she cares about a lot.

Buffy, however, is worn down by everything that happened and wants to take a sort of Slayer retreat, because she’s really worried that becoming a Slayer is doing something to her. Giles suggests that there’s apparently some sort of sacred Slayer site in the desert nearby that she can go to have a vision quest or something to go find herself. She charges her friends with making sure Dawn is watched and taken care of while she does this.

And then Spike has a sexbot made of Buffy from that guy who built himself a robot girlfriend from a few episodes back? Yeah, ‘cause that didn’t backfire at all. Problem is though that both Glory’s minions and the Scoobies (specifically Xander and Anya) witness Spike and the Buffybot, and thinking its Buffy, think something weird’s going on. Xander and Anya freak out, as they should, but the Glory minions think that it proves that Spike is actually the Key and they grab him him.

Buffy gets to go on a spirit vision journey thing? Basically she talks to the First Slayer, I think, and instead of her telling her that the Slayer is an animal of rage this time around, Buffy’s told that she’s not losing her capacity to love at all; that love is a strength of the Slayer. Also, Death is her gift. Buffy doesn’t like that answer one bit, as she feels as if there’s too much death in her life with her mother’s death still in her head, but she doesn’t get much more than that.

But the Buffybot, being very confused by all of this, goes to the Scoobies in order to get them to save Spike. They think Buffy’s acting weird, but while suiting up is when actual Buffy shows up, immediately deduces that the other Buffy is a robot, and decides she’s going to kill Spike, partly because he had a sexbot of her built and partly because she doesn’t know if Spike spilled anything about Dawn to Glory.

Spike is actually not spilling anything about Dawn to Glory, who also instantly realizes that he’s not the Key but thinks that maybe he knows something so she tortures him! He sort of starts to escape, but is mostly saved by the Scoobies arriving in the nick of time. The Buffybot is wrecked in the attempt.

Buffybot is scrapped, but Buffy decides to go find out if Spike spilled and goes to his lair, posing as the Buffybot to ask what he’s spilled. But when Spike kisses her, he realizes that it’s not a robot and backs off. Buffy calls him out on essentially buying a sex toy of her but does admit that she appreciates that he didn’t spill anything to Glory.

So thoughts!

-Hey! Here’s the thing that kind of bugs me with this episode: we basically have Spike commisioning a sex toy of Buffy and that’s really not okay? At all? Look, imagine if you found out someone you know is jerking off to your Facebook photos. This? Is a hundred times worse. The only one who seems to act with the appropriate amount of disgust is Buffy, and even then it’s mitigated by Spike not ratting out Dawn. And that makes sense given the circumstances, but I’m not thrilled that we had to give circumstances so that the creeper who had a sexbot built can get a sticker.

-The thing that bugged me with the First Slayer in the season finale she first showed up in was that it seemed to go with the idea that the First Slayer was basically little more than a clever animal, all violence and rage; this episode didn’t go with that, and I’m glad. It also seems to indicate that the Slayer is not just about killing monsters, that her compassion and love are meant to be there, but I distinctly remember the commentary for that dream episode having Whedon tell us that Buffy is unique among Slayers for her friends and support group.

-Xander and Willow and Anya set an intervention for Buffy when they think she’s sleeping with Spike, and of course Buffy is repulsed by the very idea. Hence this fantastic exchange:

Xander: No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sorta compact but well muscled. 

Buffy: I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think that you might be!

-Apparently they tried telling Dawn that the Buffybot was built for the purpose of playing checkers? Obviously she doesn’t buy it, and I don’t know why they think she should; she’s a teenager, guys, not a small child.

-I get that the reason it’s so is that Sarah Michelle Gellar can play both Buffy and the Buffybot, but the guy who made robots was able to get both the voice and height and body frame exactly right? That’s impressive, but also really, really creepy.

-When Giles describes the ceremony thing he has to do, as making a circle and having to hop in and out of it, I thought of the Hokey-Pokey. So I was glad Buffy voiced that joke for me.

-The Buffybot also doesn’t think she’s a robot? Which has a bunch of questions popping in my mind. Do none of the sexbots know that they’re robots? That must lead to some sort of existential crisis somewhere down the line. Because they’re dumb, but they’re not that dumb, and I suspect the Buffybot, had it remained online, would have eventually become much much smarter.

-Sexbots are creepy, don’t do that. Moral of two episodes this season.

[rosecasho-blog]

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List of chapters

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[duchessfics]

Preview of A Lasting Mark Pt. 2

I have been working on this, but school is keeping me busy. At this point I have the draft written up and just need to type it so I thought I would post a small preview. I think this is going to end up pretty long (like over 5000 words) but I feel pretty good about it. So I hope you enjoy this little preview! 

You can hardly contain your smile as the host leads you to the table Billie and Audrey reserved for your date. It has been around a month since you have seen either woman in person and you are looking forward to reuniting with them. Over the couple days you worked with them on set you had gotten to know them better and found yourself falling hard for them both. But you decided to wait to go out on an official date until shooting was done. However, that didn’t stop you from texting and having a couple late night facetime sessions with them both. As you walk, you smooth down your dress and notice they lead you to a more secluded area. Then you take a couple breaths to calm your nerves. Unfortunately, that effort fails as you see them sitting at a circle table beside each other.

Audrey looks adorable with her short hair and wears a lacy, off-white dress that compliments her skin beautifully. And she looks to Billie who wears a blush pink dress and pearl necklace. And you have no doubt that they are genuine pearls. Her hair is curled and loose as per usual making you want to run your fingers through it to see if it’s really as smooth as it looks. They both look up as the host steps forward and you can’t help the blush on your face as they both smile up at you.

 After murmuring a soft thank you to the host, you take a seat and Billie murmurs, “You look beautiful tonight, sweetheart.” Did Billie Dean Howard really say that—to you? That is not something you thought you would ever hear even in your wildest dreams. You smile and blush even more as she looks you over appreciatively and reply, “Thank you. You both look stunning as well.” Audrey giggles and bites her lip, but something about her seems…off. Maybe they had a disagreement? They both have very strong personalities. Or she was filming for hours on end and definitely could be exhausted from that.

As you pick up the hefty, leather-bound menu and Audrey says, “We’re so happy to see you, darling.” You look to her sweet face and reply with a smile, “I’m really happy to see both of you too.” Then you pause, looking between them and wonder if this is too forward, but you decide to say it anyways, “I’ve missed being around you both.” Audrey blushes with the biggest grin while Billie smirks and looks as if she knew that already and it feels so good to be with them in person once more. Then you open the menu and before you can stop yourself your eyes widen at the prices adjacent to the food options. “Order whatever you would like, darling. We’re buying.” Billie says. Immediately you look to her and stutter, “T-that’s ok. You don’t have to do that—” But Billie raises her hand, making you stop and her glossy lips form into a smile as she purrs, “It’s my pleasure.” Your mouth suddenly feels dry as her darkened eyes keep contact with yours, so you simply nod.

You go quiet, looking over the list of delicacies and don’t know what half of these things are. The level of luxury in your life is very minimal. So, you decide to choose something that is basic, but at least you have an idea of what the item is. The waiter comes over and they look to you to order so you do so with a blush as you think about the price. Then the waiter looks to Billie and she orders something that you have never even heard of. But her practiced ease makes your stomach warm in arousal. Cool your jets, you inwardly tell yourself. It’s just a dinner order. Finally, the waiter turns to Audrey, but what happens next throws you for a loop.

As she begins to order, her throat closes up and she drops the menu, making your eyes widen. Her jaw clenches as her cheeks turn a dark red, but when she goes to speak, a moan escapes her lips. What the hell? Should you…do something? You aren’t sure so you keep quiet trying not to embarrass her further. Luckily Billie seems to notice and takes Audrey’s hand while saying, “Audrey seems to be tongue-tied at the moment. So, she’ll be fine with the same meal as me.” The waiter looks as shocked as you, but doesn’t say anything, leaving with an awkward smile.

By the time you return your gaze to Audrey, she seems less tense, but still blushes. “Are you ok, Audrey?” You ask, searching her face to get an idea of what’s wrong. She clears her throat and replies, “Y-yes. Sorry about that. I don’t know what came over me.” Even though she says she’s alright, you eye her down, very skeptical, but she gives you a small smile. As she does, out of the corner of your eye you see Billie smirking and know she must be up to something. But before you can ask anything more about it, Billie asks, “So have you previously dated anyone?” Ha! That’s a good one. You look down, a little embarrassed by your dating history or lack thereof.

“My older brothers were very protective of me, so they usually scared off anyone that was interested.” You begin and make yourself look up at them before you continue, “I dated a guy my senior year in high school. But it only lasted a little less than three months and fizzled out after we both graduated, and I moved away.” They both study you and Audrey says, “So…you’ve never dated a woman before?” Oh crap. Your eyes widen and you begin to inwardly panic as you explain, “Well, um, no. But I-I was, am, I am attracted to women. I just…no one asked me out.” Then you swallow and take a deep breath before explaining, “I-I like men and women…Hopefully that makes sense.” Then your eyes falter as your face burns. Did that really just happen? Unfortunately, it seems so.

Billie reaches over and takes your hand in her smooth, warm one, making you look back up. They both give you reassuring smiles and Billie runs her thumb over the top of your much rougher hand as she soothes, “That makes perfect sense, sweetheart.” You smile, glad that they understand and wonder why you thought they would judge you in the first place.

Billie’s smile turns into a smirk as she casually asks, “And how far did you go with your boyfriend?” At this point, you feel your face and chest heating up as you look between them and reply, “I…well…we just kissed.” Instead of looking to Billie’s dominant gaze, you look to Audrey and she chirps with a pleasant smile, “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, darling. I am quite certain that he loved every kiss you gave him.” You let out a little giggle and Billie releases your hand as the waiter comes over to deliver the food.

Once the dishes are served, before they can probe anymore about your romantic life, you ask, “So how did you two meet?” Immediately, Audrey’s eyes light up and she looks to Billie as she replies, “Well, we first met at an award show and even though I find most Americans to be abhorrent, I felt a connection with Bill right away.” You can’t help but smile as Audrey speaks and you find her nickname for Billie adorable. “So, we exchanged numbers and began to text back and forth. Eventually when the both of us had a break from jobs, we went out on an actual date.” Audrey finishes, letting out a sigh of happiness as she practically swoons under Billie’s gaze. While Billie is much more covert, you see that attraction reciprocated in the way she cares for Audrey. She looks to Audrey and murmurs, “The moment I saw Audrey walk into that restaurant, I knew I was head-over-heels in love with her.” At that, Audrey giggles and lets Billie give her a gentle kiss.

Between bites, Audrey explains, “We went out on a couple more dates before I let Billie take me home.” Billie chuckles, raising her eyebrow as she looks down at Audrey, and comments, “You let me take you home? I distinctly remember you begging me to take you to my home. But perhaps I’m mistaken.” You giggle at the comment while Audrey huffs, but smiles. Then Audrey looks to you and lets out a dramatic sigh before saying, “Anyways, then we really began to explore our relationship. Billie is amazing. I mean, she makes me feel like a teenager again even though the days of my youth are long over.” At that comment, Billie shushes Audrey and kisses her cheek before she says, “You are nowhere near being old, my darling. You’re like a fine wine, getting better with each day.” You practically swoon at how Billie compliments Audrey and can see Audrey genuinely smiles.

Audrey brings her hand up to fan her face and she says, “They really ought to keep this place cleaner. Blasted dust getting into my eyes” But you and Billie chuckle, knowing dust has nothing to do with it. By now you are to the last bites of your meal and Billie speaks up, “After taking Audrey home, I learned she can be such a darling submissive.” Then she looks to you with an eyebrow raised and asks, “You know what a submissive is, sweetheart?” Your cheeks burn for the umpteenth time and you nod, your voice failing you as your own arousal resurfaces.

Billie chuckles at your response and takes Audrey’s hand as she looks her over. “For example, last night, I told her that she could only cum from my words.” Then she glances to you before murmuring, “No touching.” You face burns and you did not expect this insight into their sex life, but you are most definitely not opposed to hearing about it. Billie’s dilated eyes look you over hungrily and a whimper nearly escapes your mouth. “You know what sent her over the edge?” 

Fuck. Me. Well these panties are definitely ruined. You clear your throat and squeeze your thighs together to get some reprieve before squeaking, “No.” Billie grins and looks to Audrey who is suddenly very quiet but has a small smile playing on her lips. “I told her to imagine someone touching and kissing her in all of her special places. And just before she came, she cried out your name.” Your whole body heats up and you glance at Audrey who looks as red as you feel at the moment. But her eyes are almost completely black, and she licks her lips, clearly aroused.

Then Billie leans towards you and murmurs, “Darling, the thought of you touching her made her have the most intense orgasm she’s had in weeks.” A smile creeps up on your face at the thought of causing that. You haven’t felt this kind of influence and it does a number on your butterfly-filled stomach. Meanwhile, you still can’t manage to speak words, thinking about what Billie just described and wishing you were there. Billie releases Audrey’s hand and leans back, clearly amused at you and Audrey’s very apparent arousal. Then she tuts her tongue before saying, “But Audrey sometimes has problems with her attitude and that has to be addressed.” Then she looks to Audrey and says, “No one likes a bratty girl.” Audrey doesn’t speak and averts her eyes, only making small glances at Billie.

Before Audrey can respond, Billie returns her gaze to you and explains, “Today was one of those days. So now she’s paying the price.” You furrow your brows completely confused. She’s on a date with you…Is that a punishment? Surely not since she had an orgasm at the thought of you. So, you tell Billie, “I-I don’t understand.” She grins and pulls her chair over, so she sits beside you, making Audrey let out a whimper of protest. Then she pulls out her phone and opens an app as she murmurs, “Currently, sweet Audrey has a vibrator in her that I control.” Suddenly, things begin to make more sense and you are in disbelief that this is actually happening. But god you would love to have Billie dominate you too.

Your face flushes and all you can manage to say is, “Oh.” Billie chuckles and you suppress the shiver of arousal that almost made its presence known. It doesn’t help that her sweet scent now completely fills your nose as she gets even closer to you. Then she says in a softer tone, “I’ll show you how it works.” You watch her press a button and look up as Audrey drops her fork on her plate and takes a deep shuddering breath, closing her eyes as she trembles in pleasure. As this all occurs, the room temperature feels like it has risen significantly.

Billie chuckles and says, “I can turn up the intensity too.” And she slides her finger over her screen to increase the number present. “Billie.” Audrey says in a strained moan and grips the table, clamping her mouth shut. Billie’s dark eyes look to you and she asks, “Should I stop?” Your eyes widen at being the one to determine this. After looking to Audrey’s desperate gaze you nod and reply, “Yes.” But you can’t deny that there is a part of you that would not have minded teasing Audrey further.

Audrey lets out a sigh of relief as Billie turns the vibrator off. Then she looks to you and breathes, “Thank you.” You look to Billie, unsure if you should reply. Wait—what? How does she determine what you say? She gives you a small nod and you look to Audrey before replying, “You’re welcome.” Giving her a small smile, still imagining her crying out your name in the thrashes of her orgasm. Audrey picks up her fork and goes to take her last bite as Billie says, “Audrey and I have been doing this for a couple hours and she does deserve a reward for taking her punishment so well.” At that, Audrey perks up and looks to Billie with a smile on her face. Billie ignores her, looking to you and murmurs, “Now you don’t have to do this at all, but I know Audrey and I would love it if you came over and helped me reward her. Would you be interested?” You look between them and know your answer before Billie finishes her question. “Yes.” You say almost as soon as she finishes speaking.

She eyes you down and asks, “You’re sure? It’s ok if you say no. We won’t be upset.” But there is no doubt in your mind. Looking to them both, you have no idea what the night holds, but you are as sure as hell that you are not leaving this place without them. You give her an affirming nod and try to make yourself sound more confident as you answer, “I want to.” After hearing that, Billie grins and gets the waiter’s attention for the check...

[arthurhwalker]

2019, Buying Guidance

Buying a computer, a smartphone, or tablet in 2019 is different than it has been in years past. Usually, I'm lurking in anticipation of my "next", and have a lot of ready recommendations for friends and family. That isn't to say there aren't a lot of great options, they just seem to be more arcane.

My current technology arc consists of incrementally shedding Apple, Google, Microsoft, and any hardware, or digital service, that doesn't provide me with a great deal of value. Also, I'm looking for those services and products that have a community around them, and with whom one can have some kind of relationship.

I look at everyone; Apple, Asus, Dell, Google, HP, Huawei, LG, Microsoft, MSI, Samsung, Vaio, before I make a purchase. I look at their products, support documentation, warranty, social media presence, how transparent they are with consumers, and whether or not they understand how to engage in basic marketing and commerce.

So, what's good? The plucky upstarts and potential market disruptors first.

Pine64

From the FAQ on their site:

"What is Pine A64? The Pine A64 is an index card sized 64-bit single board computer. It can perform like your desktop or portable PC with browsing the Internet, playing games, watching video, and execute programs like spreadsheets and word-processing. The Pine A64 board can also play ultra high definition 4Kx2K video."

I waited in the queue for almost a year to be able to buy this $99 laptop. They sell them at zero or little profit so people can tinker with them, learn, and make stuff. They're working on a tablet, more powerful "Pro" version of their laptop, and a phone. It can run 64 bit Ubuntu, Debian based Linux things, and Android 5.1.

I cannot wait to get my PineBook next month and start monkey'ing around with it. Also, it comes in completely unadorned white, AKA Stickertown! I need to start gathering my adhesive sartorial accoutrements now. 

Pop!_OS, and System76

I've been using their Pop!_OS with my Lenovo Thinkpads for a couple of months, and really like it. With Canonical focusing Ubuntu away somewhat from the desktop user, going to a curated version, like Pop!_OS, tends to deliver a better experience. System76 has a live Pop!_OS Chat where I've gotten help and guidance along the way.

I resisted installing Pop!_OS for a while, because it looked kind of cool. I know, right? Linux isn't supposed to be "cool". So I was wary, haha.

Pop!_OS is, basically, set up the way I would set up vanilla Ubuntu after some tinkering. It has AMD or Nvidia Drivers and GPU switching baked in, power management options, and the only thing I had to install with the terminal was GIMP. Everything else I know and love was in the Pop!_Shop. Pop!_OS 18.10 get regular updates, and they're always adding keen new things to their offerings.

Where vanilla Ubuntu is kind of squeaky, garish, and clunky, Pop! is quiet, nocturnal, and polished. It encrypts your install by default, full disk, out of the box with minimal effort. "Out of the box, with minimal effort" is something I say a lot with Pop!. It's just really (really) nice. I'm a fan, bought the t-shirt, put the stickers on my laptop, all the things.

I haven't tried their hardware, and while I'll be sticking with a Thinkpad for mobile computing, their mini "Meerkat" and Thelio Desktops are very compelling options. System76 isn't very transparent about the types of displays offered with their desktops, or their laptops, but have responded swiftly to my queries by email, and via social media.

They are very transparent about their internal components, and have an array of options, including AMD on their Thelio line, for folks looking to distance themselves from Intel. The Thelio desktops look very nice, with the only flaw being no IO up front. Everything else is custom, with open source daughter boards, and other keen aesthetic features.

I worry more about which configuration of Thelio I would get, than what I'd actually use it for. I just want one.

Recently, Pop!_OS got featured on the Linus Tech Tips YouTube Channel, as a gaming platform. A. Linux. Gaming. Platform. Yes, you heard that correctly. 

ReMarkable

This continues to be a good value, for a product that receives frequent quality of life updates. For minimalists looking to replace all the paper in their lives, this device delivers. I really like that they don't stop making it better, simply because the makers believe in the form factor and use case.

ReMarkable has a lot of competition in the hardware space, but I haven't seen much in the software space that is half as good. The ability to nest notes and documents in folders and organize your work is an incredibly attractive feature. The Linux-based operating system is incredibly stable, and reliable.

The ReMarkable tablet isn't fast, or cutting edge, but it feels really nice to use. It's easy on my eyes, and the hand taking notes and reading documents. It really is just like paper, only better, and taking up way less space in my bag.

Light Phone 2

I love E Ink devices, particularly when they aren't being used simply to read ebooks. Marketed as "a simple 4G phone with e-ink, messaging & other essential tools—a phone that actually respects you," the Light Phone 2's marketing is compelling. The promotional video hits all the right notes and feels for anyone that is in a love/hate relationship with their smartphone.

This is definitely me, and I ordered the couples package for my wife and I. From the two surveys I've received, and the updates they've posted, this is something I've only grown more excited for. The very simple and elegant aesthetics of the device are interesting to me, and I can't wait to have one in hand. It's gotten bad enough that I lurk on Ebay, looking for a deal or steal on their first Light Phone. Ugh, haha.

On to my favorite services.

Discord

I pay the monthly for their upgraded service. I'm not entirely sure what I get for my subscription, but I don't care, the service is that good, and I want to support it. For chatting with my friends, playing games, communicating, community curation, and similar, Discord is doing it right. Their user experience is good, even if the user interface is a little confusing at first.

The confusion comes with being used to Skype, or Face Time, and a distinctly limited feature set. With Discord I keep figuring things out, and saying "oh, it can do this? And, also, this? Cool". Discord also works pretty much everywhere, on everything, with no service interruptions (that I've been aware of). I can use with a Linux machine with a dedicated app, in a browser tab, or on my smartphone, whatever I want.

I can use it to communicate text, images, video, audio, broadcast my desktop, all the things. Keen. 

ProtonMail

End-to-end, client side encrypted, with servers located in Switzerland outside of US and EU jurisdictions, and available in English, Spanish, German, French, Italian, Japanese, Dutch, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Russian, Turkish, Ukrainian. I am getting a paid account soon, and their Linux bridge is in beta.

Obvious privacy advantages aside, I really like the service, the options they provide, and their pricing structure. They have a really nice web client, and dedicated iOS and Android apps. It feels like email done right, as a product that you pay for, as opposed to you being the product, or part of some other service you're passively subsidizing.

Feels good. Definitely considering a paid version.

Lutris and Steam For Linux

Linux Gaming used to be an oxymoron. It just wasn't that great, but with Steam Play + Proton I can play Skyrim, with a controller, on my Linux machine. I click a box, hit play, it downloads some things, and boom, I'm good to go. I haven't explored all the different games compatible with this new service, but it looks to be expanding every day.

Lutris is a newer service, and was recently added to the Pop Shop on Pop!_OS. From Wikipedia:

"Lutris is a FOSS game manager for Linux-based operating systems. Lutris has one-click installation available for hundreds of games on its website, and also integrates with the Steam website. Installer scripts are available for some difficult to install WINE games including League of Legends."

The day when I can play Fallout 76 without maintaining a Windows partition is on the horizon. *Cherubs blow heavenly horns of glory* I'd really like this to take off, and take a small, but painful bite out of Microsoft's market share. I don't hate Microsoft, but I'd like them to hurt bad enough they work a little harder to make Windows not suck so hard.

Among the big manufacturers, there are a few that are doing it right, in my humble opinion.

Lenovo

I recommend them, particularly if you need a machine for getting work done, and running Linux. I've been part of their INsiders Customer Advocacy Program since late 2015, and have gotten a candid look at their company culture. Previous to that, I had been using their products since late 2011, mostly for game and web development, digital art, and publishing my novels.

A Thinkpad running Linux is my weapon of choice. The Yoga Book, more recently the C930, continues to be a singular companion device, with little else competing with it in the marketplace. Lenovo warranty, support, and customer service is still five stars. No one, absolutely no one, is more transparent about the hardware you're buying, down to the tiniest detail, I can look it up easily.

In the consumer range, they make a pretty good gaming rig, that I wouldn't be embarrassed to carry around. In fact, the look, IO, and cooling system on the new Legion series gaming laptops is better than many Thinkpads, excluding the P-Series of course. I want to try a new Legion with Linux, now that Lutris, Gamehub, and Steam are making gaming on Linux easier than ever.

On the horizon, Lenovo has some additions to their Yoga line that fall into a totally new zone. In my "lurking" browser tab are the Yoga S940 Laptop, and Yoga A940 Desktop. These devices are in the "Smart" category, packed with features. For the professional that wants style, as opposed to the tuxedo and dress shoes Thinkpad, these are just nice looking machines. I could see people in sales, design, marketing, and other fields that deal heavily in aesthetics, wanting devices like these.

Lenovo A940 Yoga Review

Why do I have a lurking tab in my browser full of Lenovo things? Because they regularly run sales. For the consummate lurker, one can get a new device from Lenovo for 30-45% off retail with patience, and a keen eye for clickable coupons. Lenovo understands how to commerce.

LG

If someone told me they were going to get an LG Gram (any model) I'd understand the desire, even though I haven't owned one myself. The reviews are all pretty positive, some are MIL-STD 810G, good value for the money, and they have a keen aesthetic about them. Also, you can get a couple of the models in white, AKA Stickertown!

Because LG is trying to break into the laptop market, they seem to making a pretty good product, or trying very hard. I'd look at the warranty and support options, warily, just because they're a little new to the game.

Their Gram 2-in-1 comes with a full size Wacom AES 2.0 Stylus Pen, with tilt, and 4096 levels of pressure sensitivity. There's no screwing around with bundles or paying an extra Benjamin for the pen, they just include it with the product, like everyone ought to. Also, they're very transparent about their displays, internals, and specs, so you know what you're buying.

I've read in a couple of places that they are supposed to get better Linux support by the next Kernel, but that there are some issues at the moment. If you're looking for something to run Windows, give them a look, but for Linux maybe hold off, or just get a Thinkpad.

Motorola

A lot of how Lenovo does business has bled over into Motorola. I've owned a couple Motorola Phones, both from before they joined Lenovo. I have friends and family that own the more current models, and are very satisfied. I'll probably own a Motorola in the future, as I'm probably on my last Apple iPhone.

They make a keen, and modular product. Smartphones have always struck me as an opportunity to stack accessories and components to produce value for different use cases. Motorola Mods let one do exactly that, swapping a battery pack, for a game controller, for example.

Samsung

For core computing, and the aspiring digital artist, Samsung makes a nice thing. I've owned their Notebook 9 Pro, Windows Phone, and a Galaxy Book 12. Where Samsung does really well is in aesthetics, making a device that is both nice to look at, and nice to use. They are very transparent about what you get, market their devices well, and offer pretty good value for the money.

When I bought my Notebook 9 Pro, the only thing extra I had to buy was the Staedtler Pen Stylus, because, hey, it was cool. With the Galaxy Book 12, it came with everything, keyboard accessory, S Pen, a nice charger, and even a 128GB microSD card to expand the storage. There was none of the Apple/Microsoft nonsense where you're paying hundreds of dollars extra for things that should just be included.

Even Samsung's new el-cheapo laptop, the Samsung Notebook Flash, is pretty great. Aesthetically, it's compelling. It looks to have a decent 1920x1080 display, lots of ports, a microSD slot for expandability, and you can get it in white, AKA Stickertown! It has eMMc Memory, that is slower for read and write speed, but tends to be very reliable. 

Conclusion

What are you using? Have a keen service or computing product that has served you well? Drop me a line, I’d like to know all the things.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: The Avengers (2012)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Three (23.07% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Ten.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Episode Quality:

It’s solid. Unpopular opinion? I don’t think it’s half as good as people made it out to be, back when it first hit cinemas and everyone was swooning. It’s solid, but that’s the best I’ve got for it.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

...

Female characters:

Maria Hill.

Natasha Romanov.

Pepper Potts.

Male characters:

Nick Fury.

Phil Coulson.

Erik Selvig.

Clint Barton.

Loki.

Bruce Banner.

Steve Rogers.

Tony Stark.

JARVIS.

Thor.

OTHER NOTES:

‘free from freedom’ is such a wanky piece of writing, man. It’s absolute nonsense, but it sounds vaguely profound if you don’t think about it at all. I thought about it. It’s idiotic. 

The very first thing we see of Black Widow in this movie is her being hit in the face, wearing a slinky little dress, tied to a chair being interrogated by a bunch of men. We’re supposed to indulge this excuse for hurting and objectifying a woman and then write it off as ‘empowering’ because she beats the Hell outta the dudes a couple of minutes later. That’s not a game I’m interested in playing. This is garbage.

The classical music over the beginnings of the Stuttgart attack is great.

All those German folks so confused by this Loki dude speaking English at them. What a tool.

I’m not sure I’ve ever heard ‘not today’ used as an effective badass declaration. It’s ALWAYS cheesy. Make it stop.

“There’s only one God, ma’am, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that.” I don’t really like this line for Steve; he just doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would play the ‘one true God’ card, and there was nothing in his origin story which implied that he’s particularly attached to religion at all; plus, he already read the brief on Thor, he knows this is literally the old Norse deity, there’s no question of whether or not they’re dealing with a God here. To argue the point (because he’s not MY God!) is meaningless in context, and feels like a weak attempt to correlate (Christian) faith with being ‘old-fashioned’, like OF COURSE Steve would defend the idea of the ‘one true God’, he’s from the past, not a cool enlightened atheist/agnostic modern man like the rest of us, right?

Thor and Loki are using such archaic phrasing, when Tony makes his ‘Shakespeare in the Park’ joke, it’s...more an observation than a quip. The Asgardians were not half as stuffy in Thor. It makes it seem like someone didn’t bother to see that movie first before writing their version of the characters.

Thor has to fight with the others when he shows up. He’s just gotta.

Gotta give a nod to Mark Ruffalo’s work here; I feel like I can see the clear comparison between his version of the character and Edward Norton’s in The Incredible Hulk, but at the same time there’s no sense of this being a Norton’s-Banner impression. Ruffalo is doing a sweet job of making the character his own without totally overhauling the template Norton laid down, and I dig it.

Oh, here we are. Loki calls Black Widow a ‘mewling quim’, which is just a fancy way of calling her a whiny cunt. Your gendered slur is still a gendered slur, movie.

I know they’re playing the idea that the sceptre is causing the antagonism between the characters, but fuck, it’s tedious. It just feels like they’re all contrived petty versions of themselves, being shitty because it’s ~dramatic~ for them to not get along.

I didn’t see this movie until months after it was released, and people were raving about how crushed they were by the major character death in the film but they were doing a pretty good job of not spoiling it; good enough that for a moment, I really thought I’d get to enjoy the surprise/horror for myself. You know who spoiled it for me? In a tweet, no less? It was the 44th President of the United States. Thanks, Obama.

This guy is the MVP of this film:

You can chalk “Son, just don’t,” up on the list of Things Steve Rogers Would Not Say. Just because he’s technically in his nineties doesn’t mean he isn’t still in his twenties in his mind: I don’t buy that he’d go for a blithely patriarchal term like ‘son’, it seems like another poorly-considered attempt to make him sound old-fashioned. Juxtapose that with ‘just don’t’, which is very modern vernacular. It might seem clever to combine the two as a meta-expression of Steve belonging to two different times now, but in practical application it just sounds out-of-character, and there’s nothing clever about that.

I know I said after the last movie that I love it when someone gets hit and flies off-screen in an exaggerated fashion, but Hulk punching Thor off-screen after they finish working together to take down the big beastie is an exception, because there’s no reason for Hulk to decide to hit Thor in the first place, it’s just a gag for the sake of a gag. I can’t believe they messed up such a simple pleasure. 

I will forgive it, in return for Hulk smashing Loki all over the place. That was funny.

Back when this movie came out, before I saw it, I had people tell me - straight-faced, totally sincere - that it was one of the best movies they had ever seen. The internet was on fire with Avengers love. The film was rated in the IMDb Top 20. Admittedly, that all sets a pretty impossible standard for a movie to meet, and being at least a little disappointed in the result is probably a given. I was not particularly invested either way (I didn’t fall down the Marvel rabbit hole until later), so I didn’t allow myself to go in to my first viewing with such lofty expectations to be crushed, just the general assumption that this was gonna be good, it had to be good, at minimum. And it was that; it’s a good film. It’s entertaining. The plot makes basic essential sense. It’s easy to follow. There are some nice visuals, and most of the special effects are relatively clean, which can be a significant difficulty for big-budget extravaganzas that sometimes/often try to get way too much spectacle bang for their buck, so, a nice win. All in all, The Avengers is not a bad film. Sure is a bland one, though.

I know, I know, getting all these big-name characters from previous films together in one movie was a serious task and it’s hard to write a well-balanced script for so many leads, blah blah. Let’s put that whole equivocation to bed right now, because I honestly don’t think that balancing the big-name cast was the problem. All of the characters had something to do, no one felt like a random extra, I could quibble about certain places where I really wish things had been plumped up a bit (pretty much everywhere - the film is extremely low on meaningful character beats), but ultimately the characters are fairly evenly presented. What makes this movie bland to me is 1) the way that the personalities of the characters deviate from that established in their previous films, and 2) the simplicity of the story they inhabit. 

We’ll cover the Avengers themselves first: the good news is, Tony Stark is still Tony Stark. His personality is intact. Bruce Banner is, as noted, not exactly the Bruce Banner we met back in The Incredible Hulk, but that’s both a given and a good thing - the casting change is an improvement. Hawkeye was barely in the MCU previously, so we don’t really have enough to compare him against in order to make a judgment. Black Widow, however, is a bit of a mess; Joss Whedon’s special brand of misogyny is on display from moment one, as noted above (he LOVES writing women being brutalised because ‘how would we know/believe that they’re strong if we don’t get to see them overcoming mistreatment?’ - he tends not to feel the need to ‘prove’ his male characters’ strengths in this way), and Natasha’s personal story for the movie continues in a distinctly gendered vein: as is common for female characters being written by shitty dudes, her arc revolves predominantly around a man (Hawkeye), and she is ‘emotionally compromised’ by her attachment to him. She also zones out in the middle of an action scene and winds up in a corner shaking and traumatised (very out-of-character for a super spysassin), and particular emphasis is placed on all the bad things she’s done in the past and how she should feel bad about it, though no one does more than shrug their shoulders about Clint or Fury or any of the other SHIELD agents who are acknowledged as having dark and dirty pasts. Why is Natasha the one who is singled out to have her morality judged while her ‘arc’ focuses on her inconvenient emotional engagement? You know why. There’s no reason why this particular tack had to be taken in bringing her backstory into the film, and as a result of it we spend little time with Black Widow displaying the kind of cool professionalism and self-assurance she had in Iron Man 2. The inclusion of that vulnerability and backstory doesn’t make her feel more rounded or complicated because it is deconstructing the power and mastery of the character; rather than building upon the foundation set in her previous film visit, we’re questioning the stability of that foundation and seeing if we can get a few pieces of the structure to rattle loose. 

A big part of the trouble for Thor is that he gets saddled with that poxy Ye Olde Cliche dialogue, and there are few things worse for achieving character consistency than changing the way that they talk: no matter how hard the actor tries to play the character the same, they can’t compensate for the fact that the very structure of their sentences has been remodeled. They can improvise rephrasing the lines and/or argue the point if they want, but it’s hard to challenge every line, and if the director (who, oh look, is also the writer) insists you follow the script verbatim, there’s not a lot you can do with that. Poor Captain America suffers the same fate with the overt attempts to make him sound ‘old-fashioned’ by having him utter words and phrases that he never used in his origin movie. What’s worse is, this stilted dialogue is pretty much the sum total of the film’s acknowledgment of the fact that, oh yeah, Steve just recently woke up from the ice to find that seventy years has passed and nearly everyone and everything he used to know is gone. He has an exchange with Fury in his first scene, about ‘getting back in the world’, but there’s zero follow-up on how he’s handling it, what difficulties there might be, or even just how Steve is feeling about all of this on a basic emotional level. And yes, I am aware that there’s a deleted montage of Steve going about his day being isolated and out-of-touch, and it’s a travesty that they cut it because that’s essential character content, but it’s also a total bare minimum which has zero follow-up. Steve Rogers spends the whole film just being...there, speaking lines that don’t suit him or reflect the personality we just saw in The First Avenger, and not even in an understandable character-development ‘throwing myself into my work to hide from the pain’ kind of way. He’s kinda blandly self-righteous and all-business no-pleasure in exactly the way he was NOT in his origin movie; my impression is that Whedon doesn’t care for the character and wrote him off as the traditional patriotic cliche one might have expected him to be instead of the nuanced character that he actually is. As with Thor and Loki, it feels as if Whedon didn’t bother to watch the previous movies first in order to get a sense of the established characters.

Speaking of Loki: if there’s one character who really, REALLY suffered a personality change in this script, it’s him. None of what made Loki the highlight of Thor is in evidence here; where that character was a cunning plotter full to overflowing with complex and contradictory feelings for his family and driven to action by that same emotional cascade, this Loki...wants to rule the Earth. Because. He’s, like, crazy, the other characters all say so, even Thor - the only one who actually knows Loki and is fit to assess his mental state - says that his ‘mind is far astray’ (what Thor thinks of that, whether he’s surprised or concerned, whether he feels like he understands why this has happened to Loki or not, is unclear, because, I dunno, Thor having feelings is as inconvenient to the story as Steve having feelings - as Loki snarls derisively about ‘sentiment’, we must remember that being emotionally compromised is dumb and only for women? Hmm). Loki is just a placeholder villain in this film, driven to action by nothing in particular, it’s just a business arrangement with a mysterious third party that coincidentally happens to involve Earth. Loki prattles and hollers a lot about how ruling is his right and people want to be ruled and blah despot blah, and it’s both supremely uninspired, and not true to the character we met in Thor at all - the Loki we know was not obsessed with ruling, his motivations were all about his family standing and the things he was denied within those relationships and their implications. I remember fandom, back when this movie came out, scrambling with various headcanons about Loki losing his mind in the void or being brainwashed, ad nauseum, because no one really seemed to feel like they were watching a logical progression of the same character at all. 

Now, one of the main ways that the lack of character consistency contributes to narrative blandness is that it disrupts narrative immersion - we’re re-negotiating the way that we engage with the characters, and that distracts from engaging with the story itself. At worst, we may even find ourselves cynical about every decision that a character makes (whether it’s in-character or not), because we’re too aware of the man behind the curtain to buy the act. There are definite shades of that in this film, but the worst of it comes from the whole team-antagonism schtick that is vaguely blamed on ‘Loki’s manipulations’ and the sceptre. The thing is, this all requires the characters to behave out-of-character, and since they mostly already are out-of-character due to bad writing, the exacerbation of that by creating artificial conflict feels like more bad writing, not actual plot. Having the characters initially get along poorly before triumphantly uniting to win the day is such an overused device, it’s easy to construe the conflict as arbitrary, and as it turns out...it is. Loki/the sceptre causing the Avengers to argue doesn’t actually impact the narrative in any meaningful way, since they don’t start a fight or fracture over it, it doesn’t slow down Tony’s efforts to learn what Fury is really up to, nor does it prevent Steve from investigating the same thing in person. Them conflicting with Fury and questioning their decision to work with SHIELD, etc, is a normal thing to have an argument about, no magic-mind-stick required; the only mileage the movie really gets out of the forced-conflict ploy is that Steve and Tony keep pissing on each other, which is extremely OOC for nice-guy Steve and WOULD throw up a big red flag for mental manipulations if the movie weren’t already misrepresenting him as an insufferable stick in the mud anyway, and even for Tony it feels off - he’s generally a jerk as a rule, but he doesn’t pick unprovoked fights - but again, when the movie is already so left-of-centre on so many characters everyone feels off, so it’s easy to assume the characters are just falling victim to contrived drama, and not something in the actual story. As noted, it doesn’t end up mattering where the conflict comes from anyway; the bad news is, it takes until the halfway point of the Goddamn movie before the characters get their prescribed ‘rough patch’ out of the way. The fact that they were just being really annoying for no real reason and without narrative consequence kinda steps on the idea of it being ‘triumphant’ when they all come together at the end to fight Loki, because there was zero reason for the audience to ever legitimately doubt that it would happen, not even in a begrudging-putting-this-genuine-disagreement-aside-so-that-we-can-save-the-world kind of way. It’s just dead air with no weight behind it, and with characters reduced to such cliche versions of themselves that it’s hard to muster the will to care.

AND SO, we have a movie which, as previously noted, is awfully damn simplistic. That’s not a terrible thing, in and of itself - it’s all about what you do with an idea, and I would posit that a more complicated plot wouldn’t be a great idea here since there are so many primary moving parts in the form of characters to justify. But, the aforementioned griping about the skewy characterisation makes this film a bad candidate for character-over-plot, and if the shenanigans are falling flat, that’s when simplistic plotting becomes a problem. It goes like this: Loki shows up and steals the magic cube (action ensues). The avengers assemble to catch Loki (action ensues). The characters argue on a helicarrier until Loki’s goons show up to wreck shit (action ensues). Loki escapes and goes to New York to use the magic cube to portal an alien army to Earth. Action ensues until the portal is closed and Loki is defeated. The end. I’m not complaining about the action - it’s a standard facet of the genre, and most of it is entertaining enough (though the unnecessary Thor/Iron Man fight I coulda done without, and the battle of New York runs a bit long) - but the plot itself is pretty point-A-to-B-to-C without much in the way of surprises, and like I said, that’s fine so long as you’re delivering in another arena, i.e. STRONG CHARACTER NARRATIVES. And character is sooo far from being this film’s strong suit. The result? Is not very compelling.

It tends to wind up that, by the time I get to the end of explaining why I think a thing didn’t work (and this is...the abridged version), it maybe seems ridiculous that I’m also saying ‘this thing isn’t that bad’. The truth is, there’s nothing that I think this movie does impressively well, and there are a lot of pretty major things that I think were poorly handled. BUT, I still meant what I said: it’s entertaining. It makes at least basic sense, and flows easily enough. And while I have serious issues with a lot of the characterisation and feel that - though balanced(ish) in handling - the plot failed to take real advantage of any of the character resources at its disposal (except maybe Tony), the actors still brought the goods to the table, and those whom I enjoyed in their previous films (I mean you, Chris Evans) didn’t disappoint, even though the material they were handling did. It’s a solid film, it’s good fun, I don’t regret watching it, and while I am irritated by various aspects, I don’t feel the need to keep ranting about them. And hey; Mark Ruffalo is really very wonderful. They’ve got that going for them.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

KAT VON D SHARES THE UNEXPECTED INFLUENCES BEHIND HER LONG-AWAITED DEBUT ALBUM ‘LOVE MADE ME DO IT’

The glamorous gothic queen of art, tattoos, business and beauty now redirects her attention to her original passion – music.

Kat Von D has been a staple in alternative culture and pop culture as a whole ever since first exploding onto the scene in the reality television show ‘Miami Ink’ and then promptly securing her own series, ‘LA Ink’, at her home in Hollywood. Quick to prove herself as far more than just another bland reality TV star, Von D built an empire around her interests and established a unique brand of tattoo artistry, best-selling books, art galleries, clothing lines, and most notably, a massively successful and world-renowned beauty line.

But what most people don’t realize about Von D is that out of everything she’s sunken her teeth into and made business ventures out of, her first and most consistent passion has been music. She’s been a constant presence in the world of rock and metal for quite some time – and not just because she’s dated musicians like Nikki Sixx and Deadmau5 and is married to Rafael Reyes of Prayers. She’s been classically trained on the piano since she was a child, practicing every day and growing an appreciation for all different genres as she’s grown older.

Much like her dedication to veganism and animal rights, Von D has a significant place in her heart for music, adorning her body with tattoos of multiple acts like the Misfits, AC/DC, Slayer, Guns N’ Roses, ZZ Top, and appearing in numerous music videos for bands such as HIM, Alkaline Trio, and Gunship. In 2008, she founded the MusInk Tattoo Convention and Music Festival, which has featured artists like Suicidal Tendencies, Limp Bizkit, The Used, Hatebreed, NOFX, Bad Religion, Deftones and more. She’s even had an entire song written for her by Eagles of Death Metal. Needless to say, her street cred in the scene is well established.

She’s now set to release her debut album, entitled ‘Love Made Me Do It’, a project that has been nearly a decade in the making. Described as “a pastiche of shapeshifting analog synths, post-punk dreamscapes, gothic hues, and shy pop magnetism”, the record deals with heartbreak, disillusionment, and ultimately enlightenment. While some might be expecting a hard-hitting, in-your-face type of attitude, Von D opts for a moodier and more atmospheric feel to her music that rides on soaring synth waves and danceable beats. Joining her are bandmates Gregg Foreman, Sammi Doll, Dave Parley, and Brynn Route, as well as notable collaborators Dave Grohl, Linda Perry, Dave Sitek, Peter Murphy, Danny Lohner, Ladyhawke and Charo.

In a conversation with Knotfest, Kat Von D discusses the many inspirations behind her music and unique sound, the artistry that goes into crafting not only her songs but her music videos and live performances as well, and shares some personal stories like the time she and her husband hit up a Rage Room and a week-long horror movie marathon she undertook with a friend.

What made this the right time to finally release your debut album?

Kat Von D – Music has always been a big part of my life and although most people know me from tattooing, they actually don’t know that music has been kind of the most consistent thing in my life. I’ve been not only classically trained since the age of five, but I’ve been playing with my friends’ bands and singing on all my talented friends’ albums and stuff like that. So I’m not a stranger to it but I think that a lot of people are not familiar with me having some form of musicianship. They’re like, “What? She’s coming out with music?” So it could be a little confusing to some people but like everything else I’ve ever done, I’ve always said the proof is in the final product. I’m not here trying to be like a celebrity just slapping my name on something and you know, collecting a check and not really caring about it. I want music to be my main focus in life. I’m not sure if this is the right time, to be honest. I feel like I probably should have released this album ten years ago when I wrote it, but I think life just got in the way. I was filming the TV show and going on book tours and just allowing all these other other forms of expression to kind of get in the way of focusing on music. Basically like a year and a half ago I decided to sell my makeup line so that I could have the time to go on tour and really give the music the attention it needs. And then obviously last year everything kind of got turned upside down and everybody was put to a halt. So I’ve just been waiting within this last year for everything to open up again so that we can go on tour and finally release the album.

How do you go about mixing your unique brand of alternative style with the kind of synth pop sound you’ve got going on?

Kat Von D – I think a lot of my fans and followers were expecting me to come out with like, metal just because I’m a huge fan of metal and I think people kind of know me for liking that music. But I also love a lot of darkwave and I love analog synthesizers and I’m a huge fan of post-punk era music. I love Depeche Mode, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Cure, that kind of stuff. I feel like when it comes to the music that I want to create it’s more along the lines of that. I love poetry, I love strong lyrics and soulful singing. I love Arch Enemy, but my voice does not lend itself to sing like Alissa [laughs] so I know where I belong.

It’s interesting also because like you were saying, you have your scene with metal and rock and all that stuff, but at the same time, you’ve also always been this kind of like, pop culture icon with LA Ink and everything.

Kat Von D – Yeah, I love pop structure. I’m not a big fan of pop music per se, but I do love the structure of songwriting and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. For us, I feel like we do have pop elements in our music but there’s definitely a darkness to it. Even in a lot of synthwave bands that I love, they tend to sound a lot happier than what we’re producing. I like to live in the more melancholy world. I don’t know how to write a happy love song.

There’s a consistent sound throughout the songs but each one still distinctly feels like it takes inspiration from different genres and eras. There’s definitely that predominantly 80s kind of sound.

Kat Von D – Yeah, especially the drum sounds and not just the synthesizers. I think we only have one song that actually has guitar in it. I really love that era but I also think that when my bandmates and I write songs, we don’t sit there with like, a reference. Like, “Oh, I really like this song, let me try to do a version of it.” We actually just start from scratch and we do a lot of sound design, finding specific synth sounds that are not presets in any way. It doesn’t feel dated to me. I feel like there’s a bit of a modern take on the 1980s I guess, and I think that’s important. We’re not trying to be Depeche Mode or any of those other bands that I mentioned, although you might feel the sentiment of that era.

That instrumental breakdown in ‘Fear You’ is so good, that’s very much in my lane. And that part of the music video looks dangerous as hell!

Kat Von D – Thank you, I love that too. I wanted to do a violent video because I feel like all of our other videos were beautiful. I was thinking, how do we create violence without hurting a person, or violence towards somebody versus like, inanimate objects, you know? So I had taken my husband to this thing called a Rage Room. You can rent these rooms and you buy different packages and you can just break break shit. We obviously got bored after like the first 15 minutes [laughs] but I can see how that could be therapeutic. That was a really cool experience so why not take that experience and make that into a music video?

Did you guys have any protection while you were smashing stuff?

Kat Von D – What’s funny is everybody didn’t want to wear protection, they were like, “we’ll wear some sunglasses”. Dave Parley, our drummer, was the only one that didn’t wear sunglasses and for a minute we thought he got a piece of glass in his eye. Thankfully it was just like, a dust particle but I was like “Oh my god don’t do this, Dave!” [laughs] I think aside from that we might have gotten a few little nicks and cuts but nothing crazy. We did use real glass, there was only a few prop glasses, like the sugar glass. I actually posted a video of Sammi, one of my synth players, breaking a bottle over my head and people were like, “Oh my god, that’s so crazy.” It literally felt like a kitty cat just whispered into my ear. [laughs] Those things break if you just like, squeeze them. I got those red glass skulls made and those were made out of the sugar glass, but other than that we do all our own stunts.

In the music video for Exorcism, you wrote that the song was partially inspired by a week long exorcism-themed movie binge.

Kat Von D – With my friend, Kevvy. We actually ended up writing another song together called Lost At Sea that’s on the album. He’s a huge horror fan and I am too, we’ve seen like, every single one. There’s so many terrible ones. It’s crazy. But there’s a lot of really great ones too and I was fascinated by the concept of demonic possession because it seems like there’s a pattern within every culture and every era in history that calls to some form of possession and exorcism. I just find it so weird that in an era like today, where we have cell phone cameras and all this stuff, you never actually see any footage on YouTube. It’s never like in the movies, you know? I think it’s like this romanticized idea of surrendering control to an outside force. I feel like people write a lot of love songs about the correlation between love and death or love and drugs or addiction. I just wanted to take it one step further and do a song about love that was in correlation with a demonic possession because I think that’s how I felt in the past a lot. It’s like you’re no longer in control or you don’t feel in control and you’ve given this power to somebody that may not be the greatest thing for you.

From that movie binge, which ones were your favorite and which ones were the absolute worst?

Kat Von D – I feel like I’ve subconsciously blocked out the worst ones. I think the worst ones were always like a Blair Witch-style filming, you know? One of my favorites through that marathon was one with Anthony Hopkins called The Rite. I love Anthony Hopkins obviously, who doesn’t? It was shot beautifully and it was the most realistic possession scenes. I don’t want to spoil it but there’s a giant twist at the end which I think was really different than every other exorcism movie out there. I think all of it was shot in Italy, so it’s a very beautiful background. Anthony Hopkins plays an exorcist. I loved The Exorcism of Emily Rose, but I would consider that more like a court case movie. It was so compelling, I think I cried at one point. I didn’t know that there was a part two and three to the original The Exorcist, and I had read the reviews prior to watching and everybody was talking shit about these movies. I thought they were so great. I love part two especially, I love the kind of origin story of Egypt and when you think about that era, they had pretty good CGI effects in that movie. So I gave those a thumbs up.

Were there any other kind of movie inspirations that helped guide the direction of the album?

Kat Von D – So Gregg Foreman AKA Mr. Pharmacist, he’s my other synth player and we’re both huge fans of John Carpenter, especially all the scores for most of his movies. I feel like there is inspiration behind some of those sounds that you find on the album, but as far as inspiration from movies, it was more for the music videos. For the Exorcism video, that one was really inspired by one of my favorite directors, Alejandro Jodorowsky. He did The Holy Mountain and El Topo and Santa Sangre. El Topo was my favorite just because the aesthetic way you would see these like, black silhouettes. The opening scene, for example, is this man in black on a black horse with a black umbrella just cruising through the desert. It was like putting together two things that didn’t belong together and I love that. For the music video for Enough there were definitely some Fellini inspirations with the props of the ocean where we’re kind of like, rowing through the storm and it’s a little bit campy, but in a good way. I don’t feel like the Fear You music video was inspired by any movie in particular, I just had a really clear idea of what I wanted the storyline to be. I love movies, or good movies at least. [laughs]

Do you feel like music videos kind of went away and then steadily came back with stuff like YouTube?

Kat Von D – I don’t know, I think that there are a lot of videos but the filming process for us has been pretty brutal because I don’t tend to do like, the lip syncing videos. I think that’s what the majority of people do, whether it’s hip hop or even metal. It’s like, okay, cool, you’re gonna do a fake performance and then we’re gonna lip sync and we’re gonna have some smoke and stroke. I don’t have any interest in doing that. For me, I’ve always loved music videos that have a narrative. Those just take a lot of time and energy and I can understand why bands don’t do them, but I like these little mini films. It kind of helps storytell the music more than just doing a performance piece. I think there’s creative ways of doing the performance pieces as well, I’m not gonna knock that, but to me, I’m not interested in just shooting a bunch of lip syncing all the time.

It helps show the artistry behind it. I like when artists go the extra mile.

Kat Von D – Me too. It’s funny because I really like our band, we get along so great and we love each other. We always laugh because we’re like The Munsters because we have a contortionist in our band and she looks like Marilyn Munster and then Gregg’s like Herman and so we’re this really weird little kooky family and stuff. I feel like everybody’s so extremely attractive in their own way. When I think of music videos, I always think about different parts that I want to create for each band member. Like, “Oh, this would be a really good scene for Sammi or for Dave.” In the music video for Exorcism, we actually got a stunt crew to come out and put us into those harnesses to make the bandmates fly into the air for those jumping scenes. Then we had to remove the little wires and stuff in post. My drummer always wears this leather fringe fanny pack and then he’s got this long beard and hair and I just want to see that flowing in the wind. It was my favorite jump scene out of all of them.

I just wanted to add that your work concerning animal rights is commendable. Dominion, in particular, that’s an incredibly affecting movie. If everyone was able to view that, you know, maybe things could change faster. I don’t know how you learn and see these things and not be changed by it.

Kat Von D – For sure, there’s definitely some trauma behind all that, I mean you could only imagine. But I always just commend Shaun Monson, because he’s dedicated his life to making those movies. He worked on Earthlings as well and those are just so, so brutal. But thank you, that’s very sweet.

And just so we don’t end on a bummer note, what kind of show can audiences expect to see on your upcoming concert dates?

Kat Von D – I’m a huge fan of going to see bands play and my biggest pet peeve is when you really love a band and you go and see them and it’s just like, a guy standing at a mic. So I definitely want to create an experience, especially with visuals. Like I said, I have a contortionist in my band who’s amazing and she’s part of our group. She is actually going to be playing some sounds but she’ll be moving her body in a crazy way that you won’t even be able to understand. We’ve been shooting all of our live visuals with Linda Strawberry, who does all the art directing for Smashing Pumpkins and a bunch of other bands. Her and I really see eye to eye on finding the beauty in the dark stuff. So we’ve actually been filming and prepping all of the light works and for the LED panels and everything else that we’re doing.I think people are gonna be in for a visual treat. I like that that’s just one other way of storytelling for music and I think that’s how you should be able to present your music to the world. To go back to my bandmates, it’s like they’re all superstars in their own way. I feel like they already have their own fans as well. I’m not interested in just shining a spotlight on myself, we’re all going to be doing some crazy things onstage. We’re like the goth Power Rangers.

[popkas]

Hey guys.  I’m going to start by saying that Bulbasaur is my platonic ideal for Pokemon designs.  It looks like it kinda COULD be a real animal but distinctly IS NOT any specific animal, and it has unrealistic, borderline-supernatural elements that give a basic impression of its abilities.  When I say ‘this doesn’t even look like a Pokemon’ that’s because I’m holding a design to the Bulbasaur standard.  It’s not my favorite Pokemon and it’s not my chosen starter, but I consider it perfect on a technical level.

Why is it in black and white and why am I drawing Bulbasaur?  More under the cut.

I got a lot of suggestions for what to do after Uranium and a bunch of them are things I want to do, but they’re also things that will require research and I don’t have a lot of time to put aside for that.  I could just start drawing Yokai Watch or Robopon and post them with commentary like “what the fuck is this, I’ve never played this game lol” but I’d rather have at least a vague impression of what I’m looking at.  So I’m going back to basics instead.

I’m going to go through the original 151.  When this blog first started with Bobzar I wasn’t posting with commentary.  I didn’t start adding words to the daily popka posts until 5th gen, because that’s where the designs started feeling ‘new’ to me and I could give some fresh impressions.  So this is my time to go back in and tell you all my Bulbasaur opinions.

I’m also doing these in a different art program!  For the last decade or so I’ve been doing all my art in GIMP 2.6, which is an outdated version of a free open source Photoshop substitute.  I’ve chosen not to buy a ‘better’ program because I dislike Photoshop, and I’ve chosen not to update to GIMP 2.8 because they changed too much.  I’m incredibly comfortable in 2.6 and I can use it proficiently enough to create works like Laserwing, a full color comic.  That said, NOBODY ELSE IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE STILL USES GIMP 2.6.  I’ll bet you’re more likely to find artists working in Deluxe Paint or fucking KID PIX than in GIMP 2.6.  I should probably learn to work in a medium other than the digital art equivalent of a Zune.

Years ago, a friend sent me a physical copy of Manga Studio Debut 4.  I tried it out a few times and found that it was INCREDIBLY different from GIMP.  So I didn’t use it.  For years I didn’t touch it, and now it’s also rather old.  Manga Studio got rebranded as Clip Studio Paint at some point, and from what I hear that’s the current go-to for comic artists.  It’s set up to kinda imitate the process of inking a manga on paper, but it also has separate KINDS of layers and it’s all very different.  GIMP is set up to kinda imitate Photoshop, and neither program is actually intended for illustration.  They’re for shopping photos.  For someone who has literally relied on GIMP for a decade it’s a steep learning curve.

But I felt bad for not utilizing this gift, and also I needed a new hook to spice up some old Pokemon.  So I’m forcing myself to learn Manga Studio by doing Popkas in it.  I’m starting with greyscale but might move to color once I’m comfortable with these new tools.  I might do weird junk with the screentone, because I have the option to use screentone.  I might, if I get too frustrated, switch to learning Krita instead.  Who knows!

Oh, and if 8th gen comes out in the next 151 days I might cut this series short and start on 8th gen popkas immediately.  Or not.  We’ll see.