#i don't know that i woulda been able to really hold it in tho with how upset i got. though maybe i wouldn't have spiraled so much?

[slippery-minghus]

the bad news is i spent about an hour (after already getting home late) wandering around my apartment crying because i couldn't find my computer mouse anywhere. checking every place it could be twice, three times, knowing i don't lose things because of how badly it messes me up, only finally finding it at the cusp of a very bad meltdown in a place that i had already checked once before (and only once bc i knew i hadn't seen it in there the other day). had to take meds and cbd and lay on the floor for a long time and i still don't really feel ok.

but the good news? i won $100 in a raffle through work. so that's neat.

[moon-tell-me]

Them having a crush on you...

The outsiders (separate) x GN! reader

Warnings: nothing I don't think :))

DARRY CURTIS

It's been a reaalllyy long time since he's felt this way for anyone

So a small part of him is excited when he realizes it

But the majority of him..?

Well.. that's a different story

He's very busy with work and the family

He just doesn't have any time for love or romance

You understand ://

So it's unlikely he will do much of anything on his own

He will probably even avoid you a bit in hopes of making himself feel better

That being said, if you realize what's going on, and decide to pursue the relationship, he may manage to fit you in his schedule :))

"Hey, Darry.. uhm, could we talk for a second..?" You asked, as you popped up from around the corner, completely catching him off guard. It had been almost two weeks since you two had a proper conversation, and you weren't gonna let it go on any longer.

SODAPOP CURTIS

Okay so this is gonna come as a surprise to no one, but..

Throughout his life he has consistently gotten girlfriends and boyfriends with no issue

Again, no one's surprised

I mean, look at him, he's beautiful

Anyways-

He immediately knows that he likes you

And he very quickly starts planning out how he can go about the situation

It won't take very long for him to make his move, however if you beat him to it, he would definitely be over the moon

There you are, looking as good as ever. He's already decided that he's gonna ask you out later, an- wait.. your walking over to him..?

PONYBOY CURTIS

Poor kid doesn't know wtf is going on at first

All he knows is that he suddenly enjoys your company more then before

It wasn't until you interlocked his fingers with yours one night that he finally became fully aware of his feelings

He is not nearly as subtle about these feelings as he thinks he is.

He's so obvious, you'd have to be pretty inattentive to not notice anything

Based on this, you will likely be making the first move

With a dramatic sigh you let your head fall against his shoulder. The two of you have been studying together for about two hours and your in desperate need of a break. "C'mon, you need to focus." He said, sounding more annoyed then he really was. You grabbed his hand, interlocking your fingers and looking up at him pleadingly. "Pleease.?"

DALLAS WINSTON

Ohh boy

Out of allll the guys in Tulsa, you caught his attention?

Lucky 🙄

I love him sm istg

In all seriousness, this is very new to him

He's not used to genuinely caring about someone

Besides Johnny, he's never really loved anything

He's gonna start off with his typical flirting

That won't change until he realizes his feelings

After that, he switches to being a total jerk to you

Mans does not know how to process his feelings

Just give him time tho, he'll figure it all out

Here you are, sitting on the porch of the Curtis house. It's late and everyone is inside the house, save for you and Dal. He's been real difficult lately, although tonight his attitude has noticably improved. As you watch him struggle to light his cancer stick you can't help but wonder, what did he want to ask you.?

JOHNNY CADE

My sweet, respectful boy

He falls head over heels immediately

Everybody realizes his feelings rather quickly too

Including himself

He's not stupid

He notices how his cheeks get all warm

His hands get all sweaty

His knees feel like they might give out

It's a new feeling for him

For once he has someone touching him without causing him pain

I'm gonna fight his parents- WOAH! Who said that!? 😅

If your the type of person who is really affectionate with your friends (me fr) then you might actually kill the poor kid

He asked Dally for advice only to completely ignore it

Turns out Dally sucks at giving good advice, who woulda known?

He was thankful for how dark it had gotten, otherwise you would be able to see just how red his face had gone. For some reason you had decided it would be a great idea to hold his hand out of nowhere. Why can't you see what your doing to him?

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

You guys prolly met in middle school

He pulled some dumb shii and put gum in your hair or something

After that he often teased you

Referring to you as his girlfriend/boyfriend

You better expect a lot of playful flirting with this one

He pretty much confesses his feelings on the daily tbh

Albeit in a way that makes you think it's a joke

Eventually you just kinda realize that hey, maybe he isn't joking

"See, I always knew we were perfect for each other, ever since that day in sixth grade." He teased, throwing his arm around your shoulder only for you to immediately push it off. "Get off of me, would you?"

[dabislilbaby]

Blue Moon

Soft Dabi x f!Reader Fluff

~

A/n: Today is my birthday 🙇🏽‍♀️ I woke up this morning after having this very sweet dream about my crispy chicken nugget💕 it honestly made my entire day better before it even started. I want to share with you guys bc it was really fluffy and just made my heart melt🥹 enjoy <3

P.s. my dream wasn't very detailed so it's mainly a base for this little fic

I might do some fluffy birthday fics for my other boys too<3

Word Count: 1.4k

@haru-x-ren @electricnovaa @juslili

It was late in the evening, just before midnight. You were cuddled up on your couch with a blanket, your cat purring in your lap as you scratched under his chin. The lights were dim, just a small lamp on the opposite side of the room and a candle with your favorite scent on the coffee table. It was nice and quiet, save for the low volume of conversation coming from your TV. It was almost perfect.

Suddenly you were startled by a mismatched pair of lips meeting your cheek from behind the couch. "Happy Birthday pretty girl." One of Dabi's arms reached around to hold your chin, turning your head to give you another kiss on the lips this time. You swatted his arm. "Dabs! You scared me!" You pouted. He smirked at your adorable expression. "You didn't think I was gonna let someone else be the first one to tell you happy birthday, did you?" He rounded the couch and just then your phone dinged with a text from Toga.

Toga🩸

ITS MIDNIGHT!🥳 HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!

He took a seat next to you on the couch and both of you glanced at the lit up screen. "See? A minute later and blondy woulda beat me to it." You rolled your eyes, picking up your phone to text Toga a quick thank you. "You could have just called, or sent a text like Toga did." He faked a hurt expression. "What? You mean you don't like when I sneak thru your window in the middle of the night for a visit?" You tried your best to pretend to be annoyed but he saw the smile that threatened to peak thru. "Besides..." He reached over the back cushion of the couch to where he was just standing moments ago. "...if I'd just called you then I wouldn't have been able to bring you this."

He pulled out a tiny chocolate cake, about the size of both his fists put together. And knowing him, it probably wasn't paid for. He handed it to you and hopped off the couch, headed for your kitchen. "You can't have a birthday without cake, it's illegal." He called as he left the room. You heard your silverware drawer open and close and you giggled. "As if the law has ever stopped you." You teased. "Oh shush, just eat your damn cake you little brat." He teased back, handing you a fork and taking his seat next to you once more.

Your cat crawled off of your lap and headed straight for Dabi's. He always paid more attention to your boyfriend when he'd visit, cuddling up to him for his warmth. Dabi swears he's not an animal person, and that he doesn't like your cat, but he never complains when he curls up in his lap and gives him a few ear scratches anyway.

You popped off the clear plastic lid of the stolen Walmart cake, the smell of rich chocolate filling your nose. You leaned into dabi's shoulder, and set the cake in-between you. You both take a fork full and shove it in your mouth. "Did you make any plans for today?" You shook your head no, shoving more cake in your mouth. "Mind if I stay then? Spend the day with you?" You smiled. "You don't need to ask, I always enjoy your company." He softly smiled. He always forgets that you don't find him to be a burden like most other people do. "just a habit I guess."

The two of you eat and talk for a bit. He rants to you about how much toga and shiggy get on his nerves, and hints at the fact that sometimes he misses twice, tho he'll never fully admit it out loud.

"Oh!" You jumped in excitement. "I bought a new record the other day, do you wanna hear it?" Dabi was more of a metal head himself, but he found it cute how much you liked to listen to old music. He'd indulge you often and let you show him your favorite songs, some he'd heard so many times while in the car with you he'd probably know them by heart. "Sure doll, show me whatcha got." You slipped out of his arms and stood from the couch. A few feet to the left of your sofa there was an old victrola. It was in surprisingly good condition for its age.

You crouched in front of the dark wooden music player, filing thru your collection of records until you found the right one. As you were pulling it out of the small cabinet, you felt Dabi's presence behind you. When you stood, he rubbed his hand along your arm and rested his chin on your shoulder, watching you place the black vinyl under the needle. The static began and a few seconds later the music poured out of its old speakers.

🎶Blue moon🎶

🎶You saw me standing alone🎶

🎶Without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own🎶

This song sounded familiar to Dabi, he wasn't sure where he'd heard it though. You leaned your head back against his shoulder and hummed along to the rhythm.

🎶And then there suddenly appeared before me🎶

🎶The only one my arms could ever hold🎶

🎶I heard somebody whisper "please adore me"🎶

🎶When I looked to the moon, it turned to gold🎶

And then it clicked, his mother used to hum this song around the house when he was little. Sometimes she'd sing the words, but not very often. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around your waist, slowly swaying you to the music a bit

🎶Blue moon, now I'm no longer alone🎶

🎶Without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own🎶

You turned in his grasp, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face there as well. You and Dabi continued to sway. His hands found place on your lower back, they fit so perfectly, like you were made just for him. He hugged you close, heating up his quirk a bit to make you feel warm. He hummed the lyrics right next to your ear, the low rumble in his throat sending goosebumps down the back of your neck.

🎶And then there suddenly appeared before me🎶

🎶The only one my arms could ever hold🎶

🎶When I looked to the moon, it turned to gold🎶

You nuzzled your head into his neck comfortably, playing with the hair at his nape. He sang the next part to you. So quiet it was almost a whisper, deep gravel in his vocal cords. "Blue moon, now I'm no longer alone. Without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own." To anyone else, his voice was nothing special. Some may have even disliked it. But to you, right now in this moment, slow dancing with him in your living room at 1:00 in the morning on your birthday, there wasn't a sound more beautiful then the words he sang to you.

You lifted your head and kissed the scarred skin on his jaw. "Thank you" you said sweetly. "For what doll?" You laid your head back on his shoulder and swayed some more. "Just for being here. You make life a whole lot more worth living." You didn't see the pink that tinted his cheeks, or the soft look in his eyes when he tucked your hair behind your ear, watching how you found comfort nuzzled in his chest. He scoffed, his next words not matching the expression on his face. "Yeah yeah, just don't tell Shigs that I went all soft on ya. I'd never hear the end of it." You smiled and the two of you swayed in a comfortable silence.

~

Eventually the two of you fell asleep in each other's arms on your couch around 3am. He stayed, just like he said he would. Attempting to make you breakfast in the morning even tho he wasn't that great of a cook, eventually letting you take over when he almost caught the whole stove on fire. He let you play with the soft spikes of his inky black hair while the two of you laid in bed, him between your legs, resting his head on your stomach.

The day was perfect. Not because you did anything fancy, or got expensive gifts. But because you spent it with the person you loved the most.

[goatpaste]

Considering how Araki liked killing off so many ladies in Part 8, or ignored them, I'm more bothered that we didn't get any female-Rock Humans. I get maybe Pillars were rushed for time, but he had way more time to say, make some rock humans who weren't guys. Just something that bothers me.

YeaH I'm gonna admit like I love jojolion a lot

But the rock human plot felt? Off to me

Like idk if my reading comprehension is just not there but in like.. idk if I fully get the reason for the rock humans? And why they couldn't just be regular humans. Like I don't hate that there's rock humans but I didn't see the point of them having to exist the way they did

And arakis really weird convoluted whatever about insisting their just kinda antagonistic in nature and cannot hold a positive relationship with humans and romantic relationships with humans end with them hurting or killing their partners? Like what was the point of that especially when at least 2 of the rock humans from their lil group were ruining by their humans romantic partners? Like they loved and trusted their humans so much that it near destroyed them ? And one of them still wished to be with his old love?

Then being like, rock humans cannot have with kids with humans..... (100 chapters later) lol sike here's a half human half rock person for some reason

Like what did we gain from them specfically being rock humans ig? Geniuenly idk if I read jojolion too fast and suck at understanding but if someone has their interpretation or better understanding of this I wanna know fr? Like I LIKE rock humans I just fjdjjd don't get it lol

Maybe thats all it is? Just that it's a cool concept and araki always seems set on nearly non human thing being evil by nature it seems? Like vampires and pillar men even tho I could say the way he wrote the pillar men as human and sympathetic? Was also confusing if he wanted us to just think their the bad guys. Just a running araki trend?

And yeah araki kinda just barely has woman antagonist in general like... being able to literally count every female antagonist on my hands it's like... yeah he doesn't! Tend to go the way of making many cool evil woman sadly.. so it's not a surprise no female rock humans... but fuck dude it woulda been nice to see!

[minimoefoe]

Rewatch Thoughts: 73 Yards

Millie has some great moments through this series so far acting-wise but she also sometimes misses so bad and kinda makes me cringe. The ‘I think I broke his heart’ moment is so bad

What hand movements is the woman even doing btw are we supposed to know bc I don’t

That woman appearing creeps me out so much like this is kinda the scariest Doctor Who episode of all time

I find it interesting that Ruby is seeing Susan and recognizing her but the Doctor hasn’t seen her yet (or at least not enough times to recognize her, he saw her in Boom, right?) 

So unless there’s some reveal that she’s been scheming all along, Susan is actually a different person in every ep, right? Like. She doesn’t have memory of being the other ppl. Unless she is pretending every time and is purposely following Ruby and the Doctor around. I think that would be more cool but there’s not really vibes that that’s the case. Though I guess that would be the point like she cant make it obvious that she’s purposely following them around. But viewer-wise, giving us a hint that that’s the case would be good. I feel like it’s not though

I'm interested to see what's up with Susan but I kinda don't have any theories still lmao. Looking forward to just seeing what happens

That woman defo made Ruby pay extra bc she was feeling mean right like there’s no way a coke from that pub costs a fiver

Why didn’t Ruby mention to that guy that like an hour ago Susan went up to the woman watching her and literally ran away in fear like. It feels like relevant info before you send someone to do that exact same thing

The way these ppl turn it all into a big prank is really funny (but also if I was Ruby I woulda starterd sobbing) but also so dumb low-key bc like. Ruby is clearly genuinely scared, there actually IS a woman following her, their friend actually DID just run when that isn’t something he usually does. Like. You’re pranking this teen as if there's not genuinely a woman stood on the street like HELLO. It’s obvs a thing they do with other ppl but. This is very clearly not like all those times idk

I kinda wish the vibe stayed like it was in that pub and they were actually being fr bc it starts out so strong

Carla going up to that woman is so dumb I fear like, you can say ‘they were Welsh ppl’ (even tho one of them wasn't even Welsh) as a reason to blow off what happened but like. You’re dumb. Ruby has been travelling with the Doctor for how long now? Over six months. Take shit more seriously bro

Ruby being left without Carla is really good but like. It just shouldn’t really have happened should it. Ruby shoulda put her foot down and been like no mum seriously that man left and wouldn’t come back and I don’t want that to be you

She looks like a 19yo with a shit hair cut and some glasses, that’s not a 30, 40, however old woman sorry !! She looks like a 19yos tryna cosplay as a grown woman. Idk HOW they coulda made her look believably older but it doesn’t work for me as is

The cut to her holding the coats lmao

Roger kinda reminds me of Daniel Sharman lookswise aka he’s fit

So. is Marti supposed to be pretty young and Ruby in her 30/40s bc on first watch I thought they were both basically the same age

I watched the intention of noticing the strange SA lines but I fully missed them icl. Which is not a good thing lmao I feel like I shouldn't be able to miss something that insane bc I didn't pay attention for 30 seconds yknow

The strange political turn this ep takes is SO strange idk. I think it’s pretty interesting. Roger has good villain vibes and Ruby defeating him by getting the woman to speak to him is really cool but I feel like it need more time to breathe??? It feels like it’s over before it’s even started idrk. I don’t typically notice strange pacing in eps like other ppl do but in this one it’s defo off

There’s something about the TARDIS just being left to gather dust etc that makes me so sad

Idk if I’m too stupid for eps like these, if they’re just not massively my vibe or if it was done not that well but this ep is.. Not my fave. Still a 3.5/5 bc individual aspects of it are great and the vibe of a lot of it is cool but just all together I’m like yeah I’m not sure and I kidna don’t care enough to bang on and on about what it all means like. OKAY. Next episode plz

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

life's been okay. nothing special. days just keep on going. ive had a job for bout 2 weeks. ig thats not really an achievement tbh.

before this, that work from home place i was barely working, prolly 5-10 hours a week. and i'd slither out of those where possible anyway. this one week i worked a whopping 2 hours within 2 weeks. I was planning on killing myself and occasionally tried to all throughout having those jobs so i wasn't really worried about the consequences

before that the only other in person job i had was for my ex best friend. she worked there so i applied and got a job o work with her. only for her to quit 2 weeks after i got in whiich lead me to quit prolly a week n a half later cause i finally got fed up with the manager.

so now, even tho it ain't the longest ive held down a place, its the first that i really cared to put in effort to hold a job.

im semi celebrating but im honestly miserable. my feet hurt so fucking bad so it literally doesnt matter how good my hours are i never want to leave my bed. the people up there are so cliquey and on my 2nd day out of training one of my coworkers went off on me for going too slow and "not putting in my part". theyre starting to give me longer and longer shifts. i went from working 3-4 8 hour shifts per week to working 3 doubles just like that. they sooo generously give an hour and a half break in between the 6:30-3 and 4:30-8 shift but.. who in their right mind is even leaving atp? i live too far for that. i'd be home for at most an hour. waste of gas.

and to me what's worse, this whole situation is exactly what i've been avoiding. i knew it'd come down to this someday. but what alternative do i have?

HA. you know as a kid, i never understood addiction. I never thought I'd have to deal with it. By the time I was 8 I knew I'd kill myself someday. if i ever felt bad, that'd be what i'd do. no need to force myself to do something i didnt really wanna do. but now it seems so easy. i don't know what i wanna do from here. i hate my job. i hate my home life. i dont like to talk to my friends anymore. im bored of games. im bored of music. bored of tv.

whisking the days away doing what i have to would be a lot easier if i didnt have to be fully present for all of this. just something to pass the time until i have a better handle on what's the next move. right now, the only thing i can do is save up money. i have shit to pay off if i wanna keep a good credit score and i have things i need to buy. what's me hating every second gonna change?

though i know it's a slippery slope. abusing shit aint gon work out as smooth as I wish it would. I'll get addicted and then I'll get used to feeling that way so it'll take more for me not to get annoyed. then it'll turn back to me immediately running back to it for every minor situation. and honestly with the job i got i'd just have to hope i would be able to push through it without it being noticeable

i'm not happy i stopped. i feel like had i still been on dph i would've known for a fact how to make myself look normal. i could be gone out my mind but long as i get the shit right i could just daze through the days. but ya know. now. i ratted myself out

and now im stuck.

nothing more for me to do. nothing else i could be doing. nothing else i should be worried about other than making money

I never understood why adults always told me i'd miss being a kid since i was always struggling so bad. all they ever said is that my problems then were gonna feel like nothing once i was an adult. but they were wrong. i guess for now. but all i wish now is that i used all that freetime back when nooo one woulda suspected anything if i was away for a lil while. back when i wasnt ful grown and it'd prolly take a whooole lot less to finish the job

but here we are. forced to keep going and doing what i can to suppress what i really wanna do

ah speaking of which... i got pissed the other day and i tossed one of my drawers and broke it. then broke my bottle for my vitamins by throwing it to the ground. then i accidentally knocked over this container of beads and instead of just sweeping it back into the thing and reducing the mess, i just kicked it as hard as i could and tore the container apart. there's still beads everywhere

that is something i can't force myself to contain anymore. everything else i've been dealing with fine but when im pissed im pissed. i gotta get that under control too

[the-bottom-shelf]

001 - Interview with the Vampire (1994)

-spoilers-

Was not sure what to expect going into this movie other than that the clips that I had seen seemed so bizarre that it made me want to watch. First off- all of the wigs were very distracting, though both Louis and Lestat seemed to sort their hair out by the end, but poor Armand did not. I did not think this was going to be all about gay vampires but I've also never been so upset that no gay vampires kissed each other the entire film though I don't think Lestat deserved any kisses. I wish there had been more emotions portrayed through Louis, to really see the inner turmoil, though I guess that's just the limitation of a 2-hour film vs a novel. Lestat was batshit insane but very entertaining and hilarious. I know that Louis' backstory is that his wife and child died but I wish I saw some of that and not just Louis feasting on this little girl, felt ~weird. But! Kirsten Dunst child actor- incredible. So so good. I've got to go and watch some of her other films because she really did such a great job. Though I don't know why she had to kiss Louis, her father figure, on the mouth? Maybe that's just not my culture.

Classic story of a failing relationship where they think having a kid is going to fix everything when it very much does not. I loved how vicious Claudia was, the opposite of Louis, but didn't hold that against him. I felt so sad for her, frustrated by never being able to grow up or be able to do anything on her own no matter how long she lived. Very interesting that all other vampires were in their late 20's early 30's, no older or younger lol I did feel really bad for that one girl who begged for I think a priest to be with her when she died, she was a very good actress. then the in-movie vampire play did make me feel as uncomfortable as the in-movie audience. definitely woulda shuffled the hell out of that one.

Antonio Banderas omg would've be so seductive if it weren't for that very distracting wig. I was hooked as soon as he come on screen and I'm still upset Louis didn't stay with him. Kind of get it tho I guess. coulda gave him a goodbye kiss tho damn. Searching all these years for another vampire and the one you find is Antonio Banderas?? what luck.

I'm not sure what I was expecting for the ending. I kind of wish the reporter didn't wish to become a vampire cause sad boi brad pitt made a really great case against it tbh. also how did that reporter own such a nice car. red mustang convertible?? a dream! and of course freaking Lestat has to make him crash it. I did enjoy him popping up again at the end though, about to repeat the cycle again.

Google lists this as a horror/romance. I don't know that I would agree with either of those labels. Maybe this was scary back in the day but honestly I just found it kind of hilarious. Captivating at times for sure, but definitely hilarious. I especially liked Louis cutting up all the European vampires after setting them on fire and them springing out of their coffins lol Interested to see how the upcoming TV series handles this story. I would be interested in watching a series about a bunch of slaves who think their masters have turned into vampires and how they deal with that crazy shit lol

A very intriguing story that left me wondering why Louis didn't just end himself by walking into the sun.

7/10

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Man... I'm not even gonna lie I was semi holding back on explaining my sudden sporadicness thinking I'd be abke to end it off on sugary sweet ah but R's birthday broke me from my addiction!1!!11!! Ending buuut

I just woke up from a horrible nightmare andddd yeah. Basically, started off normalish to bad as it was some family bs which slowly turned to them shaming me for not going to school/working then part of the house LITERALLY EXPLODED. Somehow someway it was made to be my fault lmfao.

Weirdly tho it slowly transitioned to this story of this dude tryna live in the remains of our house. Our house was really high uo for whatever reason and he couldn't easily get food. But he had two pets. Dog and a pig. Pig died of starvation and wayy later on the dog went rabid and bit tf out dude forcing him to have shake him off his foot and watch as he tumbled down the massive cliff/mountain thing the house was on which of course was extremely gruesome.

Thenpoo dude apparently caught an illness from the bite and died ONLY TO BE REVIVED BY THE SPIRIT OF THE MALNOURISHED PIG. Then past that the pig was talking to him and giving him tips on how to survive which involved killing the dog before he could bite him/less starved so more meat. Which meant me watching him bash the dog onto a rock and just... eating. No cooking or ahit.

THEN outta nowhere dude hid and come to find out he was hallucinating SO bad. I'm not even sure if he even died fr atp mans was preemptively hiding from the grim reaper. And not even on some oh shit spooky death man. Dude just APPEARED and it was straight up copy paste from the sims 4. And whole time dude is talking to the pig spirit loud af which I'm sure woulda got him caught.

Whiiich miraculously made me wake up. I think the tomfoolery of the threat of the dream being the casual dumbass from the sims 4 made me realize I was dreamed and I just jerked up hard as hell to wake up quick as possible. It honestly wasn't too bad as far as my dreams go. Watching the dude go insane and murdering his damn dog was hard but it was tame compared some of my others. I haven't taken any cause of if cause I wasn't tooooo scared when I woke up. So this makes 5 days actually. I went a good 3 days without sleeping in fear of the nightmares (plus not being sleepy w/o the shit ngl) but by the first time I passed out I was too exhausted to do all that luckily. This has been my first time sleep again so I'm actually pretty happy I was able to sleep so soon after the fact

Thoooo uh I will be dosing if I don't get as lucky in my next dream. I'm genuinely glad I've had such a relatively easy withdrawal period this time around and I don't want to go back on that without serious reason. The heart pain has been sucky and my head has been pounding but it's been easy to get used to. Though I'm not sitting through any worse of a nightmare than the shit just now. I can't take that mess. I'd love to have the cutesy ass story there but I genuinely can't. Though I'm not that tired and it still ain't happen just yet so maybe I will push through. Thooo we'll see

Edit: accidentally fell back to sleep for another 2 and now off 600 😁👍

I couldn't even explain to entire thing. It would be so long and wouldn't even be picturable past a point. All I know is I woke up scared I was still in it and it took me a good 20 to stop being paranoid that my sisters or dad or my fucking dog was going to transform and continue the dream. I was questioning if I was in hell and if i had ever been a real person

Needless to say my sobriety arc is now over and I'm looking into my new bottle now. I can't have doubts like that. I really can't

I don't care if that makes me weak or a bitch or whatever else. I'm can't sit there getting traumatized by my fucking dreams and still be normal me day in day out. Fuck that