#i dont give a fuck about what flag someone does or doesn't use

[arcadequeerz]

I just do not give a single shit about lg-bt-q disc-ourse anymore.

[myalvmss]

⎯⎯ DATING HEADCANONS WITH AQUAMARINE HOSHINO❞

CHARACTERS. aquamarine hoshino, ruby hoshino, ai hoshino, akane kurokawa mention

MISSION. headcanons ; adventure mission, silent yet shining

WARNINGS. mentions of pregnancy & sex? this is mostly just me digging into aqua's character more and more, ANGST will most definitely be in this, but dont worry!

BUTTERFLY'S NOTE. special thanks to my friend named Ryu I guess LMAOAOAOAO. THIS IS SHORT??

⌗O1: when I tell you, this man makes me frustrated every two seconds of reading the manga, I have a love and hate relationship with this man that not even scaramouche can compete with, BECAUSE RIGHT OFF THE BAT, HE'S A RED FLAG. BAHAHAHAH 😭

⌗O2: when you two first meet, he barely does effort in the so called friendship, or what he thinks of acquaintance.

UNLESS you are of use to his plan, so he'll probably use you, sorry bitch </3

⌗O3: this mf's ideal type is just someone like ai hoshino (imo NO ONE can replace her, not even akane sorry not sorry) and what makes you think you can pull off an ai?

i suggest you CHANGE him, not change yourself for him honey

⌗O4: this depends on your personality, but the relationship might be a sunshine reader while aqua's the grumpy one LMFAOAOAOAO

⌗O5: aqua doesn't engage in social media much, unlike his twin sister ruby. in other words, he's a boomer yet I'm not surprised so it's mostly you who takes pictures and videos of u both

⌗O6: you and aqua often go on dates at the cafe, park, or mostly private places where you two can get alone time with no interruptions

⌗O7: he's SO OVERPROTECTIVE ABOUT YOU. imagine yandere aqua omfg, he even makes sure that you're safe and doing well everyday

A caring boyfriend but a red flag 🚩

⌗O8: In the song, "MEPHISTO" I think there's a lyric where "I'll bet my life, I'll give it to you" would imply that to the people he cares about, aqua WILL risk his life for you. THOUGH this song probably directs to ai, or ruby? but either way, he still cares about you if you were actually his girlfriend. not just for his revenge plan, but purely his own love for you.

yet sometimes I think, "would aqua even bother asking you to be his girlfriend at a time crisis like this?"

It's a possibility he wants to keep you safe and unharmed from danger, so he'll probably lock up his feelings from you and keep it a secret so no danger will come for you, but it's not guaranteed </3

⌗O9: in an au where ai is alive, I wouldn't say that ai would straight away approve of your relationship with aqua. she's a mother, yes but not those kinds who don't give a fuck abt relationships ykwim?

when she first met you, she's a bit suspicious of you, especially if you're someone who's young, but your mind is well beyond your age.

It took a while, but she got used to you around with aqua and genuinely loves you

“you two aren't getting a kid, right?” just a few reassurances that YOU BOTH AREN'T GOING THE SAME ROUTE AS WHAT SHE DID.. “mama! don't ask questions out of the blue like that!” ruby come rescue us both PLS

“mama.. cut it out please,” insert a little bit of a flushed red aqua PLSS

⌗10: honestly, taking back the topic where you change aqua actually would work, because this man is wanting revenge and is willing to kill his father.

you can't be the one who helps him, that will end up ugly if he does succeed, because let's not forget how aqua can get arrested despite being a minor, yet he's 17 (currently in manga) and he might turn 18 soon enough

so you have to BE THE SAVIOR who changes aqua to be a better person and set aside this revenge

honestly. it's not worth it, I KNOW this is about ai hoshino getting her justice, but would she wanna see her kids in danger like this??

DON'T go off like "aqua this isn't like you ���🥺" NO LMAO. you knew aqua when he was 16, that's a super high possibility on who you met him, and the person he is now is just the same aquamarine hoshino you him at sixteen

just imo, you need to convince aqua that his revenge path won't do anything better for anyone's lives, because correctly he's ruining everything — the man probably doesn't care but you gotta make him care and move on for the better like how ai would want for him and ruby

ENOUGH WITH THE DARK SHIT LMFAO PLS AHAHAHAHAH

⌗11: if you're smaller than aqua, then he'll probably use you as a head rest

lay his head on your shoulder

rest his head on your lap

place his head ontop of yours

⌗12: SURPRISE BACK HUGS >>>>>

⌗13: whenever aqua is jealous, he always keeps it a secret from you so that you won't tease him about it

think of a scenario where you're talking to some guy on the street, a fan or an old friend;

aqua would slowly wrap his arm around your waist and pull you towards him WHILE giving the guy a very overprotective look

⌗14: he can't help it but aqua always compliments you in his mind, like how cute or gorgeous you are

⌗15: i like to think you both started getting together after his so-called revenge plan for his father

⌗16: aqua's careful around you, by that I mean when it comes to sex. he doesn't wanna end up being a replica of his father.

by that I mean, he'd ask for consent first for sex ( aqua's not entirely that kind of person who doesn't ask for consent )

and also would not have sex during his teenage years, as he prefers to have it at adult years ykyk

⌗17: you're a pain in the ass for him, gotta say that BAHAHAHHAHAH

⌗18: since in aqua's past life, he was a doctor ( bro's a DOCTOR. ) that took medical education, it's a high chance that he still remembers a few things

probably trauma from learning all that pain of a education lmao

⌗18: so whenever you get hurt, aqua's always the one who bandages you :))

⌗19: since aqua dislikes bell peppers, you probably shove those in aqua's mouth for shits and giggles AHAHAHA

⌗20: he acts like 'himself' (or the past him) when you're around, and you're the only person who could do that

“i noticed that he's like how he used to be when he's around y/n..” ruby spoke to herself, watching aqua and y/n from afar as a small smile appeared on her face. “I'm happy for them both.”

[gayloringinplainsight]

why is all of your "evidence" so contridictory? if she came out on lesbian visibility day and all her past relationships are pr beards, why does it matter the bisexual hints she drops? AND if she IS bisexual, why come out on lesbian visibility day and have so many lesbian flag themed hints? why would she be in pr beard relationships if shes openly bisexual?

I DONT CARE ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT. I DONT CARE ABOUT HER SEXUALITY. IF SHE IS OR IS NOT LGBT DOESNT HAVE ANY BEARING ON MY LIFE UNLESS SHE STOPS POLLUTING THE EARTH WHEN SHE COMES OUT. JUST EXPLAIN HOW THE EVIDENCE WORKS. NOT IN LYRICS. NOT MUSIC VIDEOS. NOT PICTURES FROM INTSTAGRAM. NOT SOMEONE ELSE'S TIK TOKS. NOT HINTS. JUST TANGIBLE PROOF.

Okay first idk why you need to scream at me. Calm the fuck down. And if you don't care about Taylor Swift then I'm not sure why you're on my blog screaming in all caps about her, but let's do this anyways cause I'm in a verbose mood.

Second, it's not my evidence, it's her evidence and her flagging, and I have eyes and a brain capable of a modicum of critical thinking.

And I don't think any of the evidence is contradictory but I kind of understand what you're getting at.

So let me begin by saying that I have no strong opinions on if she's bi or pan or lesbian or fluid or whatever. I think there was a lot of bi flagging in the 1989 era, both bi and pan flagging during the Lover era, and then there's been a lot more lesbian flagging during the Midnights/eras tour period. So if I had to venture a guess I'd say she used to identify as bi and now identifies as lesbian, but I don't feel super strongly about it and I also don't think there's really enough evidence to say for sure one way or another, only that there's more than enough evidence to be certain she's some flavor of queer.

What additionally contributes to the lack of clear answers on labelling is the fact that she does flagging on lesbian visibility day, and then mixes bi flagging and pan flagging in the same music video. But I don't think it's fair to say that if she's (for the sake of argument) bi, then she can only do bi-specific flagging. She can do any kind of flagging she wants, and that doesn't diminish the queer message she's coding. It might also be that she simply identifies as queer or unlabeled, and therefore feels free to mix and match all of these things. Or maybe her label is more complex and reliant on the split attraction model, like bi-romantic lesbian, or homo-romantic bisexual/pansexual.

To address some of your specific statements, she didn't "come out on lesbian visibility day". At least not explicitly. But she flagged very hard and said something that could be construed as coming out in a glass-closeted kind of way.

We also don't know that all of her public relationships have been PRships. They might have been, and I think a lot of them were, but we don't actually know. I think you're also asking, if every public relationship with men was PR, why would she ever flag as bi? But just because the relationships we know about were potentially PR doesn't mean there couldn't have been relationships with men that we don't know about. A great example of this is Martin Johnson, who many people think was a real relationship (and the muse for Dear John).

All this goes back to the point that she can do any kind of flagging she wants. She's not restricted to bi flagging if she's bi, or lesbian flagging if she's a lesbian. Perhaps she vacillates between labels. Perhaps her labels are more complex like bisexual lesbian. Perhaps in addition to whatever her own label is, she wants to give visibility to other queer identities.

Just because we don't know her exact brand of queer doesn't mean the evidence is contradictory. It means we don't know her exact brand of queer.

Lastly, to address your final demand where you want tangible proof except not lyrics or videos or social media posts or hints. Which is a request that's not really based in reality. Because that's exactly where the tangible proof lies. It's in the enormous pile of queer flagging that can't be explained away. It's in the performances where she sings "I want her midnights." It's in her panoply of rainbow outfits. It's in statements like "Gay pride…makes me, me!" It's in all the mv scenes of glass closeting. It's in Jack accidentally outing her. It's in the rep prologue. It's in lyrics that reference hairpin drops and secrecy and religious guilt and fear of being found out. It's in her literally telling us "I prefer hiding in plain sight." This is all queer flagging and if you know how to read it then you can read it. And if you can't or refuse to, then that's on you. If you want to wait for her to shout her identity from the rooftops before you think there's tangible proof, then feel free to wait for that day. I think it will come. But in the meantime, queer flagging IS proof. And the sheer volume and scope and clarity of it makes it tangible.

[neverinadream]

for some reason recently i’ve been seeing A LOT of people accusing christian of like being like a trumpie or very right wing…and it’s kinda like i mean yeah he does seem very outwardly patriotic (bald eagle tattoo, calling america the greatest country in the world last 4th of july, lives in florida). but at the same time he’s literally on the us national soccer team so the patriotism probably stems from there, and may i remind these people who are making pretty baseless accusations that he did indeed retweet obama at the end of his term. he also sang ‘party in the usa’ as his chelsea initiation song…like. bffr. nobody would do that if they were on the right.

it's been like this for years anon, i've repeatedly been told that i like a trumpie, and it's pretty much all comes from him liking A SINGLE POST that was about guns or something. like....🙄🙄

i don't care. i honestly don't care. so what if he is patriotic? that team is full of patriotic people. people can be patriotic no matter what side of the political landscape they fall on. i don't show it on here but i'm a very patriotic person. sure, the uk isn't great by any standard and england hasn't got the cleanest history, but give me an example of country that does? i'm proud that i am british, but i know that there are people out there these days (mostly because we do have a soft society and i dont give two shits if people disagree with me for saying that) that would think there is something sinister about that. i have particular views that people would probably say i'm a tory for having, but it doesn't fucking bother me because i know who i am.

i don't care about his political views. he's never really openly expressed them and he doesn't have to. ITS NOT ANYONE'S BUSINESS BUT HIS OWN. he has shown plenty of times what kind of person he is: setting up mini pitches in his hometown, donating food to hospital workers and to food banks during lockdown, he has openly talked and help awareness for autism (which as someone who has both a brother and a nephew with autism that is a pretty big green flag to me), and he's openly talked about his own mental health, needing to see a therapist and his battle with depression for a period of time. all of that to me shows he has a kind heart beating in his chest and a level of maturity to him. people need to do something better with their time and to stop beating a dead a horse

[bishiglomper]

I need to rant

But omfg. The niece. The niece is going to finally drive us off the deep end.

She wants to keep the baby if it belongs to current, 3 week old boyfriend.

He's got priors, went to jail for something drug related I think. And he's on the registry. Which we dont even get to know the situation because niece refuses to ask.

Now so far as a person, I dont have any bad feelings about him. He's nice and polite, he can function, he can read, unlike her fiance.. He says he can cook. Has expressed sentiments like getting niece new shoes because hers are falling apart. No sign of anger issues yet like the last 2. I think she said hes got like 2 kids out there

And i dont know what color flag this is, but he once told the niece he chopped off his beloved hair to see her reaction. He wanted her to blow up but she was just like "its your body." Then she reiterated that she expected the same respect. Like if she got a piercing he may disagree with. Shes still gonna do it.

Who knows where pregnancy stands on that line.

Oh and by the way, she still hasnt even said "i love you" back yet. But she'll have his child??

But this bitch is in no fucking means ready for a child.

She's a good caretaker, I would trust her to babysit for a few hours just fine but thats it.

For one, she neglected her rats to death.

She told me with no shame that she absolutely doesnt touch a litterbox, and that she starved her cat.

The woman doesnt even take care of herself. She barely eats and she keeps losing weight. Shes like 5"2 and in childrens jeans. And even though she kept passing out and was told ahe has super low B12, she refused too take suppliments. Even if i handed them directly to her.

If that keeps up shes just going to end up having a miscarriage or a premie with medical problems.

And i dont know what smoking weed during pregnancy does. But its worth looking into.

She does have her own apartment, but does she stay there? No. Only when she has someone over to do things together.

My sister and her son already sleep on the floor in the living room. Niece sleeps on the chaise

You think we have room to help raise a baby, even if we wanted to? Hell to the fuckin no.

Speaking if which. I can already see the dynamic that will be

She'll want us to watch the baby while she continues to work at applebees, where she'll be stuck forever now instead of getting back to college eventually. But she'll have strong weird opinions on how shes going to raise her child.

i just know shes going to be like her bff and teach her toddler to say "mommys a bitch!"

Because i was thinking if there were a smaller child around we could probably get nephew to cut it out. But nah, she would encourage it because its funny.

By the way, we're hiding this from the nephew. It was almost ww3. Sissy doesnt want him to know. And niece is offended because its her brother, he can understsnd the concept of abortion and ahw doesnt like to keep things from him.

Also not telling the aunt. Niece doesn't give a fuck and may do so out of spite

We still havent recovered that relationship enough to have dinner together. And aunt said something like "since (mom) isn't saving your souls, I'm going to have to do it"

So if she finds out, its just going to get really, really annoying. And drive more wedge between us all.

Niece asked her mom if she was gonna be mad at her if she kept it. Sissy told me she was mad either way. There will be no winning.

My mother and sister are being way super gentle and calm about it all to her. She does not deserve it. She needs to sit there like an adult and listen to our concerns before she makes a decision just because it's current boyfriend's DNA in there. She never wanted her own children. And if she wants to suddenly play adult, she needs to make some adult fucking decisions.

[some27-url]

Writer Chat Tag Game!

Some spoilers for my writing below!

I was tagged by @possumteeths 😗

What us your total posted wordcount on AO3?

307,786

Do you have a routine for writing?

I've dabbled with different ways to get *in the zone* and actually put out good words without getting derailed, but there isn't anything solid. My best performing routine is: put baby down to sleep, IMMEDIATELY lock self in a room away from husband and animals, chug a coke zero and eat two pieces of candy. This almost always results in me managing to start really writing within, like, an hour and a half? Which means I'll get in like 45 minutes of actually writing before it's time to take care of the baby again.

What are your favorite tropes/pairings

Bodyguard romance, ofc

And there was only 👏 one 👏 bed 👏

Unrequited love that's actually totally requited.

Pairings where one person romanticizes the other to the point that they miss/ignore enormous red flags, hopefully making the reader a little uncomfortable :) like with Princess Leo being an unrepentant liar and Deacon literally killing innocent people to protect Whisper from an imagined danger. (He has to be sure though, right?) I guess I just like to show that you never quite know what someone else is thinking and that anything can happen and that the world is a spooky place.

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

Deacon/Whisper might be my current fave. RJ and Leo will always hold a special place in my heart, though.

Your fic with the most kudos?

Inclusions is at 169! Weee!

Anything you don't like about your writing?

Some of the background characters are flatter than I'd like. I try to write them as if I had a binder full of backstory workd out for each one without actually having a binder full of backstory worked out for each one, which means that... well, continuity can be a nightmare at times and so not everyone gets the best treatment I can give.

I also wish I could be more descriptive, I just have a hard time knowing what to include. I try to include as little as possible bc nothing turns me off to a reading experience faster than like a fit check followed by an in-depth description of their appearance followed by the precise degree of the angle at which they have cocked their hip out like!! No one is going to notice all that about someone unless they are fucking creepily obsessive with zero tact!! For someone to notice every thing about every outfit and every setting and every expression all the time? It's an automatic DNF in my mind. Too much mental work for me to imagine things precisely the way the author sees it and I have to assume I'm not the only one that feels that way so i dont write that way... But still I could stand to paint a clearer picture at times. Just because I know where the desk is in the room doesn't mean everyone does, etc.

Oh and too many of my sentences start with nouns/pronouns. That is something I specifically look for in later stages of editing but sometimes it's like pulling teeth to fix because, again, I have an almost pathological aversion to detail.

Now something you do like?

Something I've really focused on improving and which I feel I've improved a great deal is pacing during sex scenes. It's hard to draw out the prose long enough to make the reader really live in the moments that are... simple but repetitive? Lol. But it's something that bothered me enough about the first scenes I wrote that I honed in on the skill and I feel like I write some damn good stuff now! Even if it's kinda fucked up sometimes! And it's funny bc I decided to start writing fanfic unsure that I would even write any smut at all. I thought I'd be too embarrassed and I looked at writing fic as a way to develop skill so I could write original YA fiction someday. HA!!

Also, allowing the narrator's internal voice to bleed into their dialogue the way i do is something that I am very proud of bc it's what's allowed me to even write words in the first place. It was the change in my approach to writing that allowed me to actually complete and be proud of a scene for the first time, and I feel like its sort of unique and therefore engaging, so... Win/win.

I am tagging @danses-with-dogmeat and @twosides--samecoin and @pumpkinov !

[sinfulnoodle]

I don't mean to sound confrontational here, but I'm genuinely curious where you got your info on how that flyer could be a human trafficking tactic. I keep seeing claims about almost every odd thing being a sign of trafficking, and I have no clue where the information is coming from.

First off, thank you for your approach. It is appreciated.

2nd, i got some of the info actually from my mom years ago. She and my aunt used to be trafficked out by their parents (some folks should not have kids/be parents) and she would tell me the crazy shit that would happen, the signs to be aware of if someone was attempting to groom/grab someone, following, trying to isolate.

Some points she always mentioned:

If there's not a company name, an address, (not just a phone number), if there is nothing on the flyer besides a number, it is safe to assume the person running the flyer does not have a place for said operation. If you dont have a place of business, you do not have a business. (In cases of like online shops there is still somewhere for you to "go" to see the information/products Also, if you cant google it and find more than a dozen mentions of it then it is not a real company.

If someone doesn't want to give you a full name, thats a red flag. If they're recruiting they should have no problem sharing their name and name of the company.

I don't think i mentioned it in the post, but trafficking can also be done at foster homes claiming to be foster parents. When in reality, the "parents" take the money for themselves and make the kids "work" it off. This one is from my cousin as well as a few of her friends.

I remember setting up a handwritten daycare sign with my mom once she started a business a few years ago and while her sign was handwritten and had a number. It also had an address that you could visit to see the daycare and what was going on there. She also had added a lil thing to her voicemail noting if someone was calling about said sign to mention how they heard about us.

Its really shady when its a handwritten sign(this one was typed out yes, but the targeting language is also concerning), no address, no mention on google, nothing to verify, and when you call to get more info there's no voicemail or the voicemail sounds like your average joe so you dont know if you're calling the right number.

I may sound overly cautious, and that may be attributed to my mother. But again, there are some fucked up people in this world. I'd rather be paranoid and aware than to be blissfully happy and falsely safe.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

ive never anticipated a story so enthusiastically than u releasing the part 4 and after going thru 11k words (which is the most amount of words ive ever read in this entire month), im literally raging rn.

if im gonna be honest, for ur past yandere stories, ive mostly focused and favoured the smut part more but for yamqn, esp with the latest update, for once, ive never felt so invested in reading a story before, the way u convey their feelings without having to write long paragraphs abt unnecessary details... yeah ur my top favorite writer rn.

first and foremost, fuck beomgyu.

beomgyu literally dehumanized her ━ striped her of her basic human rights, chased away her suitors, manipulated her into thinking yn wasn't pretty enough, then use that to his advantage and make yn sell her body to him. although you did put warnings for the nc part, i will admit that part made me wanna throw beomgyu into the deepest depths of hell.

with all his red flags waving high and proud right in my face, if i had to pick the worst one, it would be the fact that he didn't actually care about her at all. he saw her as an object ━ something to be claimed and possessed, something that he expected to obey to his every order. and the fact that he roped his entire family into this just it even sicker, like his parents and sister agreed and encouraged their sickening son's immoral behavior? the apple really doesnt fall far from the tree.

my heart literally broke into pieces when lord taehyun failed his plan like i was abt to throw my pc into the wall when beomgyu mentioned that he would send maids to guard yn's room while he was gone OH speaking of maids.... what they did to yn was equally sick. i understand that they're under his control, but to accept to participate in such a cruel act? do they not have any sense of decency left in them? (just gonna let this slide and close an eye cuz i dont know what went on behind the scenes)

can everyone just please give a pat on the back to lord taehyun cuz DAMN is he committed. honestly if i could i would've just gave him a hug and treat him to the finest things and give him the happiness he deserves. unlike beomgyu, he was SERIOUS about yn like he actually sees her as a human, sees her as a person who he can build a future with and a potential romantic partner. its like the realization that she finally had an opportunity to escape the hellish life she had within the castle beomgyu held her 'captive' in. but then again, the risk of leaving her former life behind, leaving her (ex?) lover behind for a new life that she might get adjusted to with a stranger she knows very little abt (im sorry taehyun) is too much for her to take, so i understood why she hesitated when taehyun asked if she wanted to run away.

anyways i could go on and on but its 1am and i gotta sleep but again, i absolutely loved ur new update!!!! and i look up to u a lot!!!!! im not sure if theres gonna be a part 5... but i hope so! plz dont stress urself out and have a great day ahead mort!!!! (also quite random but can i be 🤓 anon? if it isnt taken?) cheers!!!!

i know this story is already so big without the chapters being 11k 😭

i totally get it. i also mostly focus on the smut when i read stories but when the story grabs my attention. it makes the smut sooooo much better

i don't agree that beomgyu doesn't care for her or that he necessarily thinks of her as an object. I feel like in his own way, he really does love her, but he loves himself more. he'd do anything for her except let her leave him, and he really thinks that he is the best thing for her. she wants someone to provide for her? who better to do it than a prince? who would love her more than he loves her? her family that sold her to him isn't to be trusted to find her a good husband. no other man is good enough for her, especially not taehyun who he believes is cruel and sadistic. he doesn't think of her as an object but he also doesn't trust her to make her own decisions. he thinks that as the man he should be the one protecting and providing for her and he feels he's been doing that all his life and yet she still won't be with him. it's all very selfish but that is beomgyu's core personality trait :')

beomgyu's family share differing sentiments on oc. the father's stance is clear, he thinks she's just a whore for beomgyu. the mother just wants to please her beloved son and doesn't care about oc. wonyoung likes her but her loyalty lies with her brother and she won't go against him to help her

as for the maids, they really have no choice. you think a maid can say no to a prince? they could lose their lives 😂

taehyun has been the perfect knight in shining armor. we've definitely not seen the last of him. but what will he make of oc not being a virgin anymore? will he still want her?

there definitely will be part 5. there are about 4 chapters left in the series

[emeraldvagabond]

For a series about abuse and red flags, SJM sure made the awful choice to have all the “males” *gag* act the same way. But apparently things are only abusive and are only red flags when Tamlin does it. :/ Locking people up is fine as long as you’re not him. Being emotionally negligent *coughs Cassian* is fine as long as your not Tamlin. Keeping information about someone's powers and BODY is fine as long as you’re not Tamlin. Like the whole message on abuse falls flat.

: / right. Like,,,and one time she said she didnt want to write "alpha Male assholes"(meaning tamlin) without a reason...and I just keep think about Rhys always using his power and being like "IM the biggest and baddest and most powerful..." to prove a point or win an arguement..and???

ACOTAR tamlin was the uhhh?? complete opposite of an alpha male? but Rhys? reeks of "I'm the alpha" type vibes. I mean, he all but uses the word to describe himself. And he really genuinely thinks he is just the best thing that ever was.

Cassian too, but to like, a lesser extent. Azriel is just....fucking weird....get a life, my man. Tarquin and Lucien are about the only males🤢 she writes differently. Tamlin could have fit into that category but uh....we see what she did there. Helion and Thesan also fit into that category, I almost forgot about them because for some reason she likes to make all of her poc characters have 0 fucking importance in the story unless they're aiding her white protagonist or being used to zoom the plot forward, and always at the expense of themselves. I mean, even when we see Tarquin, he's being played by Feyre and Rhys while he is just....really being very honest and forthcoming and welcoming. Helion is in love with a white woman that refuses him, and has a son he doesn't know about...and it's...just to give Feyre a little shock at the highlord meeting? And the only other time we really hear of him is when he's shielding Feyre so no one knows she's pregnant?? Which, does he know it's going to kill her? Probably not because Rhys says he's practicing HIS shields...so theres the idea that Helion kind of just told him what to do and Rhys went "yuh jolly good". And went on his way?

Sorry. That's a completely different rant, I just woke up from like two days of basically straight sleep and im waiting for the sims to load.

But, the message on abuse DOES fall flat because of...all of these things. The main characters abuse EVERYONE they come across, all the time, not even just in their romantic relationships. Which...as soon as someone gets with someone else in these books they stop being a person and start being "their mate" which is so gross to me. Feyre and Nesta both loose everything that makes them unique characters as soon as they get connected to their "one" and its like?? if the gods and the universe saw you...and decided you two were good for eachither.....why do these women have to change everything about themselves after you get together? It's not like people can't change....but always with the whole character rewrites...it's exhausting.

And what is it with the cauldron pairing these girls with people that just...do not give a fuck about them. Cassian is supposed to know Nesta better than anyone but he just straight up doe not give a fuck when her family, or what is supposed to be her family, is straight up abusing her. Rhysand literally grooms and abuses Feyre for like....four fucking books and everyone is like "omg wow goals" but I guess it's to be expected when his father married his mother when he was like 800 and she was 18...even though I'm more than positive it says Fae dont mature until 80.

The whole story is just an abuse cycle. over and over and over.

I think Elain and Lucien could have been a good pair....if Elain had a MODICRUM of personality. Like...where is it. She pops up every 50 chapters to say some really dull line and then does nothing else for the rest of forever. Lucien is probably the least toxic mate we've seen, alongside Vivian and Kallias who arw about the only ones in the whole book who we see treat each other as actual equals and with any kind of respect. It's said Thesan and his unamed boyfriend, or fiance, or whatever he is...I cant remember because we're given NOTHING on him...are a good healthy couple, but we never get to see it...because why would we ever get to see a chinese-coded man be in a happy loving relationship with another man? Or really any gay couples, being happy and healthy. Or any gay couples at all?

again, another rant. I'm still waiting for the sims to load.

My point is where is the message about abuse when your protagonist leaves one person who abused them to go to another person who abuses them but with more ✨charm✨? Maybe the message should be that you cant always see abuse from the inside. I mean, Feyre doesnt even have friends outside Rhysands family. She is entirely isolated.....BECAUSE SHE IS BEING ABUSED. Its just:/ Sjm really tried to give...but it is not giving....it is taking. It's taking away from your "message" sjm. The message is lost. We've sailed an entire ocean and we left the message on the other shore. The message has been waiting for us to come back for 50 years. The message looks out from it's balcony and wonders when we will return from the war.

y'all get the point.

But shes trying really hard to be woke instead of just saying it's a dark romance/self insert. Like she said the King of Hybern was based off of Trump....but he was written before Trump was campaigning....she just...says shit. Couldn't tell you why, I'm not her. 🤷‍♀️

idk. my game still hasnt loaded I have too much cc.

[khaleesiofalicante]

OK MY ELECTRICITY WENT BUT IM HERE WITH MY LIVE BLOG. Im also wearing a tiara i found during cleaning at 2 38 am...

LXI'S STILL HAVING THOSE DREAMS

You see, that’s how Lexi functioned. Unlike Selena who had a weekly planner with her name doodled on it, Lexi didn’t like having a schedule. She would decide what she wanted to do when she wanted it.

SAME LEXI SAME

IM SORRY IF THIS IS MSOTLY IN CAPS IM TOO EXCITED

lexi

lexi why are you in pain

what what what

whats happening

im freaking out

GEORGIA

There were six of them. Each handle in one colour of the pride flag.

gimme

THE ACADEMY

NO NO NO

these demons can talk as well.

that's what bothers me the most

CLARY STFU YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU FOUGHT A WAR AT 15. I know she's worried for valid reasons but im losing it right now.

calm its ok its gonna be ok

georgia collecting the ichor-

i love her so much

Lexi didn’t think it was possible, but the sight somehow made her gayer than before.

me every time i look at amy or rosa from b99

OLIVIA

“Of course you are not dying!” Lexi said severely. “Neither one of us is allowed to die before we finish binging Game of Thrones.”

with the major character death tag right there

dont make me think of georgia getting sick

dont

The bar was extremely low for shadowhunters.

yes it is

OH MULTIPLE POVS

RAFAEL

did i just sob "my child" ?

maybe i did

im so proud of him

LEAVE ME ALONE

wait but in tid sophie was over the age of ascention too

WAIT HOW OLD WAS SOPHIE AT THE AGE OF ASCENTION

WAIT OMG SOPHIE WAS YOUNG

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

“Life is too short for bad blood,”

yeah. yeah it is

i still really like camilla

He could go to Mexico right now. His heart wanted to do it. His body screamed at him to do it.

It wasn’t the distance that was the problem. He had two warlocks at home. He had a bike. He had money to buy a plane ticket.

It wasn’t the distance at all. Rafael would walk to Mexico for her if necessary.

i screamed so loud here i was grateful for the closed door

CHAIRMAN MEOW

CYUKGUCDGYMDYUD

THE PRECIOUS CAT

WHAT IF THE MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH IS ABOUT CHAIRMAN???

“Y’all really be acting as if portals are like a bag of Cheetos!” Max pointed out seriously. “It ain’t $2.50, bro! Do you have any idea the energy it takes to make a portal? What people actually pay for it? I can’t be making portals for free. I don’t get a salary from the Clave like you do. This is how I make a living!”

SO TRUE

“I was going to say you should go stay at the institute with David,” Rafael said. “But you are right. You are not a baby. You can stay here on your-”

“On second thoughts,” Max interrupted with a grin. “I’m still a fetus in warlock years so I will go the institute.”

THEY ARE SO PRECIOUS

AHHH HE CALLED HER PRETTY THE FIRST TIME HE SAW HER

THEY WERE 7

IM SCREAMING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW

my throat hurts

JAIME MY BABY

Y'ALL I MISSED HIM SO MUCH

“All thanks to the amazing Isabelle Lightwood,” Jaime replied. “I think I am a little in love with her.”

“Who isn’t?” Rafael chuckled.

we all are in love with isabelle lightwood

no no no

where's anjali

where is she

dont fuck with me right now

why does diego look like a mess

“Diego,” the woman rasped. “She is coughing up blood again.”

no

dont

it's chapter 1

stop making me cry

THE LIGHTWOOD SIBLINGS

YUSDFGYUSDFSDGYUD

if anyone gives izzy shit for this i'll kill them

JACE STOP GOING SO FAST

“Jace, if you want to a baby so much then grow your own damn uterus,” Isabelle snapped.

TELL HIM

THIS GOES OUT TO THE WHOLE MALE POPULATION

After Georgia’s birth, they had promised each other that they would always choose the children first. If it ever came to a point, as it often did in their lives, where they had to choose between themselves and the children – they had promised each other to save the children.

dude theres a major character death here

Jace thought for a moment and then grinned at her. “No uterus. No opinion.”

“Selena has trained you well,”

selena my smart feminist child

I JUST KNOW ONE OF THE LIGHTWOOD-BANES IS DYING

AND IM NOT OK

“Do you really need those?” Alec asked, pointing at the glasses.

“No,” Jace replied. “But Clary thinks I look hot with glasses.”

“You two are ridiculous,” Alec shook his head.

Jace turned around. “Really? And your beard is for character building, is it?”

there's no use lying alec we all know why it's really there

I KNOW WHAT LEUKEMIA IS SHUT THE FUCK UP IM LOSING MY SHIT

no

no

she cant die

IF SHE DIES I WILL RAISE HELL

my throat hurts from all the shouting

“Can I get a cinnamon latte with extra cream and two sugars please?” Alec asked.

Jace raised an eyebrow.

“Magnus had a long day at the Spiral Labyrinth,” Alec explained.

“Can’t he just magic his drink?”

“Well, yes,” Alec replied. “But I like buying it for him. It’s called being a good husband.”

aww that's so sweet

THIS IS HILARIOUS

“I’m saying no one can do better than David,” Jace huffed. “He is precious.”

tru

“If you are going to be this way, things are going to be very awkward at their wedding,” Jace muttered.

“They are not getting married, Jace!”

“Do you not want them to???”

“They are nineteen!!”

“Doesn’t mean we are not allowed to think about it,” Jace pointed out. “If they get married, we will be family!”

“We are already family!” Alec all but yelled.

“Yeah, but we will be even closer!” Jace sighed happily.

“You are my parabatai!” Alec said incredulously. “My soul is literally tied to yours! How closer do you want to get?”

THIS IS AMAZING

OH MY GOD I LOVE

JACE BEING OVER PROTECTIVE OVER SELENA DATING SOMEONE IM LOSING MY SHIT

wait how old is michael

"Oh my god,” Jace gasped. “Three out of three! I win!”

“It’s not a competition, Jace!” Alec rolled his eyes.

“It is and I won,” Jace grinned. “You’re welcome, LGBTQ+ community.”

YUP JACE WON

“Can we talk about something else?” Izzy demanded. “We are not those parents who only ever talk about their children.”

Alec cleared his throat. “Right. Of course.”

“Yeah, we have lives of our own,” Jace nodded seriously.

They drove quietly for a while before they started discussing about their children’s love lives again right up until Jace pulled over at Jade Wolf.

of course...

Lily’s face was pale – paler than usual.

lily what's wrong

please lily

anjali...

lily is close to her

of course

“Then we burn all the angels,” Lily growled.

YES YES YES YES

Jace walked in that moment, sipping from his latte. “I bought donuts, y’all!”

A chuckle escaped Magnus. “Jonathan. Your timing is impeccable.”

"Is everything okay?” Jace asked, looking troubled.

“No,” Maia replied. “But at least we have donuts.”

at least they have donuts

“I love you,” he mouthed, and Alec’s heart was okay for a moment.

THE FEELS

ISABELLE

NO NO NO

NO

IZZY

PLEASE

WHY IS EVERY POV ENDING LIKE THIS

They had put on their clothes

AHEM SIR-

they grow up so fast...

no

im crying

dont please

izzy

she was poisoned

oh my god

WHO

GIVE ME NAMES RIGHT NOW

Rafael drank like a dozen a day.

understandable have a good day

OH MY GOD STOP JOKING AS A COPING MECHANISM

Im squeezing the life out of Emma (my emotional support stuffed cat) right now

seelies

the first time i heard the source was angelic my very first incstinct was seelie. I didn't wanna share it because of how absurd it sounded. but it doesn't anymore.

charlotte was poisoned by a seelie unintentionally which cost her her child

oh

OH MY GOD

NO THIS WASN'T IZZY'S COFFEE

MAGNUS GAVE IT TO HER

THIS WAS MAGNUS' COFFEE

SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO POISON HIM.

I'm losing my mind oh my god... I am so scared. Please Anjali and Isabelle please they cant...no i dont wanna think like that. tryna take deep breaths. ok. it's gonna be ok. maybe.

see ya friday!

Now I want to write lbaf while wearing a tiara. Hmmmm. I'll look for one online.

See you Friday! Also hope you had a good birthday!!!

And send pics of Emma!!!!!!!

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

[sky-chau]

Lets get down to business.

^This is the checklist.^

I will reffer to it frequently.

Ive understood you the past six times. I understand your frustration but you have to think of it from a broader perspective and understand that there are more variables at play than wheather or not nonbinary people feel like an afterthought.

Just so were on the same page I'm going to make a list of things and people (in no particular order, since tumblr likes to re arrange blocks of text anyway.) I have taken the time to consider and continue to have to think about with every edit.

Femmes

POC

Butches

Nonbinary Folk (anyone who doesn't identify as a male or female)

Composition

Color Theory

Merchandising

Replicability

Color Blindness

Epilepsy

Disabled folk

Trans Women

Mainstream Culture

Intersex people

Production cost

Traditional Symbolism

Ease of Understanding

Character icons

Fun edits

Honoring the Dead

Jewish people

Queer history

Making it hard to erase any identity certain people might try to exclude.

The DAD test

So keeping all these things and the checklist in mind lets run shit down and try to fix the flag.

Goal: make nonbinary people feel included.

So NB people don't identify with the fem signs.

That's valid I get that, I gave an all stripe flag for y'all to use as you wish.

But that still makes them an after thought.

You're right I kinda seems that way. How about we just get rid of the fem signs all together!

Here's all the problems getting rid of the fem signs all together:

1: it leaves quite the empty space and feels like a bad composition

2: violates checklist points 2 and 6.

3:the spotlight would be flat out unrecognisable

Well how so?

POC would be unhappy to know that they have been dropped from the flag. Id imagine the same kind of backlash from disabled lesbains aswell.

Why not just make them into stripes too?

1: we all know how much backlash the brown stripes get from white people who think they're ugly.

2: if nonbinary people are represented as a white stripe and disabled people were a white fem sign, what color stripe would we associated with disabled people?

3: too many stripes.

Alright so stripes aren't a great idea, why not change the fem signs into something a bit more nueteral? Like just circles.

1: looses the clever side of the design that has a couple walking down a road or atop a light house, who's sillouhets are the projection for the spotlight.

2: making them into say a circle is rather abstract and would not catch on.

3: would violate checklist points 2 and 4.

4: its just bad design.

Why not add a third sign?

That gets a bit too complicated and starts confusing the message.

So then how do we compromise in a way that is practical and appeals to a mainstream audience but isint racist/albeist?

Well you make the flag more versatile. Give it different forms for different people with different needs.

But why is the one with the fem signs introduced first and one for Enbies introduced second? Why not introduce them all at once? Why have a primary flag at all?

This is what's called boiling the frog.

If you introduce people to the new flag idea starting with 5 flags that can be used interchangeably, they're going to be rather overwhelmed and might find themselves angry at such a preposterous idea.

So what you do is you introduce the flag with the most signage as the "main flag" and for every flag that is a subtraction of signage, introduce it as a resource for editing.

This allows people to use whatever form of the flag makes them most comfortable without making anyone else feel as if though they've been excluded from representation entirely. It also gives the opprotounity to explain to the clueless why you're using the "resource for edits" as the flag. It gives you a chance to explain to the curious the nuances to your identity at a pace that the person questioning would not be overwhelmed by, and might actually have a shot at understanding.

To say one is an after thought when 1.0 also had nonbinary people is truely reading a tad bit too into it and s little foolish considering you've been woven into the fabric of the flag since the very beginning.

Wait, why do we have to appeal to mainstream culture at all? Queer people have never been mainstream?

I think Natalie Wynn (contrapoints) said it best:

"If you want to persuade someone it helps to meet them where they're at"

So what does that mean?

Well it means baby steps. If we wish to educate people on the variety of lesbians we first have to appeal to what they think a lesbian is. Then over time you can slowly slip your more woke and educated points in.

Most people (outside of tumblr) dont know what a nonbinary person is, much less what the signage for them would look like.

But even that is not what lesbians as a whole are mostly concerned about as for us, where people are currently at is still not knowing what fucking flag to use for lesbians. The fem signs give a very difinitve answer to the question "wait what's that new flag suppose to be?" and potentially sparks interest into finding out why a post used this flag instead of the lipstick lesbian flag.

While it's not the wokest flag around it has been made very strategically to make replacing the old flag, easier and make more sence to the clueless onlooker.

Now a little bit about how graphic design and symbols work:

Lets talk about bathrooms for second. More specifically gendered public bathrooms. I know this is a hot topic and a lot of people are on board with having gender neutral bathrooms.

So for the sake of this example working lets get more specific and say were talking about porta potties. Technically all porta potties are gender neuteral, BUT for camping events lasting longer than a few days on grounds with no plumbing they have a womens porta potty.

Womens porta potties are exactly the same as all the others. They even have a urinal pipe for men. The reason that there is a womens porta potty is because some women do occasionally go on their periods and hazardous waste with blood in it has to be treated differently than hazardous waste without.

Now there's alot of different women and not all of them wear dresses. But the sign on the door to the womens portable shitter has a little picture of a person in a dress.

They dont use that signage to alienate people or dictate what women can wear. It simply uses the culture to illustrate what this crapper is.

They could put a biohazard sign on the women's toilet but, all fecal matter is a biohazard, blood or no blood.

Since not everyone is super savvy on what the bio hazard sign would imply about a women's camping toilet, that would be considered hostile design. Its not easy to understand.

Hostile design as a term usually applied to doors, or anti homless spikes but can be applied more broadly.

Now using the fem signs on the lesbian flag is the same as using the little dress person on a bathroom. Its not making a statement about the demographic using the item, it simply serves to make as obviously as possible using the cultural landscape it lives in, what the thing is for/about.

The most common signage used for lesbians is the interlocking fem signs. Using it on a thing simply states that thing that it is printed on is for or about lesbians.

Without the signs, it may be hard to figure out what flag its suppose to be if nobody told you.

Your frustration is valid and I'm not trying to make you an afterthought. Ive put alot more thought, time and, effort into this than I think anyone realizes.

If enough nonbinary people say they really wont use or support the flag I will make a new one, but be warned: I will throw a fit.

I will whine about it not only because I'm a little bitch like that, but also because its actually a fucking challenge that will require starting over from scratch.

But don't get me wrong I am still absolutely HELLBENT on making a flag that works.

[z3i3ra]

Abu: she is. She is going to Iraq. Who does that?

Me: someone who really cares about you

Abu: oh someone that is going to save me from myself?!

Idk that i was ever askedto go as an adult before. I said it was time when Obama brought van loads to my actual fucking house. I still don't know,what the fuck he thought. I haven't fully processed the memories. But I was all, i think this is enough people for an army to fight back now let's go.

And he was all uhhh we aren't going back to Iraq we just got here

And me and Abu were all uh hello, yes because now it's time to start the war. Every One got energized to go home so now,we give them,weapons and,say kill or stay. And,let's go back home to our families!

Like literally that went back through my head twice.

But really I said I had to go get my daughter (who was home) and I was freaked the fuck out cause i had amnesia and so I was gonna go around to the back door and try to get back inside through the back door by getting my daughter to open it, as i had locked the front door on purpose.

I never told anyone, i think, that but it was quite a sight all those vans and all these military and some President Obama look alike.

My first instinct was to lock my door and close it. Having only a phone it was easy to text or call her.

But instead the President Obama was all uh no what you mean you locked your keys,in the door?

And he told me to,text her and i was all ok so i text "help me please, unlock the front door it's been all a mistake"

But i didn't send it. In my mind i was all text is like write. He said text but not send

I was on challenge to this dude "Hello i am the American President, is Sabrina home"

Uhh. No the President shoukd know 2 people live here and what we look like before he just shows up knocking. Nope noooope nope. I am not home. "Yes, how" door lock activated and first step outside the door "may i help you?" Door slams shut.

I mean he knew i hadn't sent it. Some dude with a laptop was right there and all. It was a literal on my porch war with the fucking President, in my mind, who was getting to,my daughter first.

"This is the stand off. Mr President, sir!!"

"Would you look at her, ready to attack me"

"Look here, her twin brother predicted it. She doesn't know you and You just arrived on her porch like a God send but she is looking at you like a wolf who has stolen her babies and instead to steal more"

If a war can be spoken with facial expressions, I won.

"Okay what else do i need to know"

"The name of the game is who can get in the house first. Ready set go!"

"Dont send the text message. What ever you do. I got everything under control here" dude had no clue, he was the enemy.

I already hit send as soon as,he said Go like,those Chinese crazy,games you gotta go through obstacle courses... Yeah I was already winning. I'm all getting cheers just at the very end, could i make it???

My breath is a fucking war. Obama is belting out commands but all i can hear is my own breathing but all i needed was the tiny rattle of the lock of the door knob.

I heard the dead bolt lock me out "SHIT!" Then it unlocked "OH MY GOD, YES!!" "Now one more please baby come on"

Obama turned to the laptop guy to see whst the Hell i was on about because Matt had said that was our only tool and brain and i was staring at my screen praying. "Idk sir, all I heard--"

"CHEATA!!" I flew past Obama and stood in front of the door that my daughter not only unlocked but also turned the knob to crack it open so i just had to push it all the way.

I covered the doorway by spreading my arms out "MINE"

"Its locked anyway" obama turned away, the boys heifted out the air conditioner at the same time. I spun all ballerina and shut the door and locked it, bent over at the window and said "hiiii" the military dude peeking in, fell into my house onto the floor cause i had him straight fucked up.

"Could you put the air conditioner back in please?"

The bewildered Military dude, secret service was all "if you tell me how you did that"

"Mothers instinct, maybe"

"Well, I'll put it back in anyway"

"But could you do it from the outside? I want to see if you could. Thank you"

He obliged and i locked myself in the house. Until they called Matt and asked how to get me out to talk. He said "call her cell phone"

So they did and i saw Obama out the window. "Stand on one leg" i said while unlocking the door as silent as possible (I randomly practice) "like a flamingo"

"Is this how a flamingo stands? His head turned away from my house, so i slipped out and held the door knob behind me,not all the way closed but it looked like it.. But I could push it back in and escape.

Secret service turned around in shock "how did she...."

I won. When you surprise secret service at least 2x in less than 10 minutes... You win. Especially when everyone on the porch's jaw drops open.

"5 out of 5. I guess i won this place. Yall can close your mouths now"

Obama does not like to lose. I think especially to a girl.

"Oh you'll get used to it. Watxh the video"

So they watched the video and all and the most shocked secret service had figured out how i knew when to go in but said it wss all shocking the same. The other one doing the heavy lifting hadn't noticed anything.

And Obama was so mad

"And yes Obama that was the flamingo"

"Alright, I'm done here, let's go. We will talk to the coty and see if they can stay here and we will get something sanctioned. Come on Abu, lets get you to a hotel"

"Uhm, really?!!? But no i want to know why first or i let them out the van and the first one that dies is you" replied an ecstatic Abu.

"I know I'm not about to die I tell you what" I muttered under my breath "and there's just two of us here and one is a kid"

"No, i want to know we will be free and you will not send us back to Iraq. Then, i will go with you"

"Oh Abu that paperwork is already being processed"

I still didn't know whst was going on but this dude all up on the President with a heavy accent all 'bitch i aint doing shit, yo' i was all dam that was way sexier than I ever expected to see on the porch of my house.

My face was on a new war, winning this young stud. I don't know who could tell but i think he could.

The observant secret service said for me not to continue to drool but I was all okay I'll stare dreamily. Total sexual harassment out my face. And Abu was not going to resist apprehension. And his pants were becoming to small at the waist.

So all these secret services and the President all just sat there and watched the young stud gain a boner and i heard the front door open.

I threw the white flag, my kid didn't need to see that. Oh but Abu was not done with the war, being at the far end of the porch, furthest away from me, he threw jealousy down.

Now Today 10 and half years later he doesnt bother to open any door to his house for me.

Anyways. So Jeremiah had agreed the year before that if i could outwit the secret service somehow in under 25 minutes then every one could be set free. But it had ti be the secret service and it had to be 21-24 minutes for everyone in Iraq and for everyone in the vans. At 25 minutes, no one. And under 21 minutes anyone already set free including the vans.

1400 had already been released on escaping terms and 5000 remained in the cells.

I had to beat amnesia to get the rest out. At least 3 pregnancies and finding my mom at her location.

So I did it.

All those greedy selfish people i had to yell at at the NHRA. I had to. I worked every single day. Every single day to repair my brain 99% on my own. It had to be 85% not including legal drugs.

Even the Queen agreed but stated she must be dead before any press releases could be stated about her involvement. And i had to pick her successor.

So yay!!! I did it under 12 years.

But also I wish I could done it sooner.

I fought every single day.

Every single day. My mind wss on my mind.

No matter what it took. I always felt that. It was the most important thing in the world. An urgency that took over my entire being.

God gave me great pain so i was unable,to leave my bed so i could focus and break all barriers and do it even without his help.

I even became suicidal, homicidal, crazy feeling, all sorts of horrible things

Yet I cannot compare it to the intensity of being kidnapped and broken. Tortured nearly constantly. And having to work for a slave labor.

In words it seems the same. But in my still somewhat broken mind i dont see it that way.

Because what I did was break free. And i see these people in shackles. Giving up as i did multiple times. But bot just giving up for a day or week while still looking and,grasping. But i see people who lost hope.

How coils they not? I know i would, just keep my head down and work, stay out of trouble and try the best i can to keep shelter over my head and food in my belly and have,the faith that that would work to,keep,me,alive another day.

Again, in words, it sounds almost the same. But i had a job I picked,a house I picked, my own child, a car.

I had freedom. I had freedom to stop, i had freedom to quit. I could do anything in the world I wanted. And no one could stop me, beat me, or anything.

I had full control over my life and it's contents. Over what i ate or didn't n wheere i got it from.

So,while on paper it sounds as though our struggles are the same, the struggles of the human trafficking victims and their families do not compare; theirs are much greater.

Doing what i did on my own the way i have. It has brought extreme advancement to the medical community.

But when I look at the sea of faces, my heart and mind connect and tell me, it is not over. My eyes tell me, what you have suffered, they will, too.

And I know i can't take that pain they will have in the future away. It hurts my heart to know what I've gone through, mentally, in my life and know they Likley will as well.

But I just hope and pray that we are different enough, the human trafficking victims and I that they will have the happiness I have sought for myself and my own daughter.

And when i do, i see people hugging, i see people holding each other through some of the toughest best times of their lives. I see people together.

And i know, im likely an over protective mother, seeing all these people as her babies with all the last instructions about not forgetting to turn off the stove, or turning the pot handles in so you don't accidentally hit it and waste your food if you dont have a dog or a small child dumping boiling water on their heads.

Its not like sending them to college... Its like sending them home.

Homes that .... I've lived in nearly 40 houses. And None were the same. Except the constant battles and abuse from relatives that weren't mine.

That is why i am so thankful to London for sparing DNA kits that have been administered to all victims and will be administered to families all over the world. ASAP

Abu for hiding away Money and buying things for celebrations.

The governments for really listening, finally and helping all these families.

I know this is the first stage and so much more needs to be done. But as I put my head down to work, I know it will. Get done.

Because I've worked too hard,for too long for it to stop now.

Abu reminds me how i had a fear od public speaking. How i refused to fight. Others tell me how I was mute for years.

I came from nothing. And we're not throwing these victims out a plane without a parachute.

I've always known everyday my work wasn't just for me. It went beyond me. Beyond any thing i could see.

Know i know why

So twin matt splice this up into this,mornings email and then snoopy add this song.

VA contact my dad. He still,needs to pack. I probably have to repack my kid for warm weather clothes.

We got shit to do. What yall sitting looking at me for?

Add nickleback far,away and photograph. Doug has,these practiced so snoop sings along and alter some slight phases like the demand to stop breathing.

Wanted you to say to "stay" Steph also knows the words.

Photograph add in "when I get home" between the lines like how we do Rudolph the red nose reindeer. Batman wheels and all that. ... Will the school throw me out? No.

So,Snoop pick you want the songs or the add ins., I wanna push you to meet the tone of the songs original way to sing it So that it's US understanding the victims pain.

Then the victims reassure us woth the add ins that every thing will be okay.

So ALL the victims ...

"Criminal records broke 2x" a haha from the band then a repeated haha from the crowd so a repeated chord from Doug or jist a pause. His choice.

Should I try to go back and graduate "we ARE Free to CHOOSE"

"Wouldn't let me back in" go online!

......

Abu, Matthew. Hondo. Gherie, you already know. But some of you all need to understand "Far Away" from nickleback.

It was written for you.

Many songs were thanks to my great influence in the 90s on the music industry.

Thank you

[just-shaladin-things]

(1/4) confession: i hate l@nce. hate him. so much. he's such an asshole! like i get the writers are going for 'wannabe casanova' but what they've got is a boy that only is insta 'nice' to hot women (in the mermaid episode he was like :/ to the squid head girl until she took it off and was totes hot at which point he immediately did a 180 to ;D), hits on literally everything resembling female, and doesn't take no for an answer. like, a//ura made it pretty clear she's not interested in L@nce.

(2/4) But he keeps flirting with her at very bad moments, despite her being annoyed with it, and tries to police her actions at one point??? (when her at Ke!th run off together he flips shit on her and tries to do an interrogation if anything happened like thats any of his fucking business). Literally the only girls he’s not weird about is P1dge and his mother. It’s fucked him over so many times! N!ma and the mermaids both should have been massive red flags, but he never changes!(¾) Not once does he connect the dots and think hmm maybe there’s a connection -NEVERMIND HOT GIRL. He’s completely oblivious from moral and logical standpoints. I hate it and I hate him. No amount of homesickness and insecurity is gonna make him likeable until he pulls his head out of his ass. Or at least gets called out by someone instead of being told ‘not now’ mid emergency. He doesn’t give a shit about them! That one mermaid girl he was hitting on, she died! Mid episode!(4/4) And L@nce didn’t even ask hey, where did she vanish too is she okay? He didn’t give a single fuck about the missing girl he’d been hitting on literally a day ago, he was too busy with the NEW pretty mermaid girl and the hot mermaid queen! I hate him, I hate how the writers handle him, and he needs to get called the fuck out by someone soon. Preferably A//ura. Or P!dge. Or Sh!ro. Thank you for hearing of my rage.

ok i was about to go to sleep but since its the l@nce ask i decided to wait a bit, because uhhh, welp he’s important to me and he’s probably the only reason why i still watch this show lfdkjgkf im going to try and be as, well, as objective and logical as i can so please bear with me also im sorry i cant really salt with you here. like, i partially salt with you but not entirely since, you know, l@nce stan thing and all that. okay anyway, here we go and it probs gonna be long so im really, really sorry or something. also also before i Really start i want to thank hd, jo and ciel bcos brainstorming with them was a top notch way to figure out what i want to say fldkgj

im gonna start with the flirting thing first in general, then move to @llura, then to other instances you brought up then to lance himself, just so we have some outline here okay? okay. so here i go:

the flirting thingy - i get why it bugs you and it bugs me too, especially with @llura. writers definitely overuse it and use it as a comedic device (not working but shhh). on the other side, aside from @llura (which im going to talk about more in a sec, pls be patient with me, pls) girls usually don’t react negatively to it? pl@xum literally kissed him on the cheek, aliens at the mall and on that first planet in s3 laughed and generally it seemed to be rather innocent if annoying because of how often it was portrayed. the flirting alone isn’t really bad, considering his insecurities and strive for attention its not surprising that he does it and its never a serious thing. and most of the team reacts with just groaning and rolling their eyes, no one ever told him, 100% seriously and definitely, to stop. the thing is, writers portray his flirting in a really shitty way (like most things, jesus christ) 90% of the time??? which brings us to the next point here:

@llura or rather how her and l@nces relationship was portrayed so far. now theres no denying it that the part where he keeps on flirting with her and she keeps turning him down and so on is, well, pure shit and we all want (or rather wanted it considering how he dropped the act in s3) it to stop. while it doesnt make it okay, its still important to note that he never really seems to be 100% serious with his pick up lines and it looks like he uses it as a way to lighten up the mood (cue him using them in, well, not really appropriate moments). and while we’re at it, lance hardly ever opposed to any of her orders (aside from the time when he and hunk argued with the rest of the team about coming back home but, like, can you really blame them for that?). also the thing that you brought up, him flipping his shit out when she left with keith was completely justified??? she and k/eith literally left without any notice??? when they were constantly followed by galra and there was a war going on???? of course he was worried out of his mind, who wouldnt! and when she was captured by the gala he was one of the people who wanted to go and save her. like, you cant really say he doesnt give a shit about her. its further proved by how he acted in s3? he completely dropped his flirting with her, never acted angry when she was chosen to be the blue paladin, he even said he was happy that it was her specifically! when sh!ro came back he never asked @llura to step down either, he thought she was better suited to do it than him he constantly checked if she was feeling alright in blue and we could see how much their relationship improved in this season. i would go as far as to say that they actually became a p good friends.

now, onto the other instances you mentioned:

pl@xum - here its kinda tricky tbh, on one side, yeah, its not really okay that he started to be all over the moon for her after she took of the squid, on the other hand he knew her for, like, a day at best?? its not really enough time to fall in love with personality itself (especially considering how much happened during that time?) and you cant really tell that being attracted by someones good looks is something bad? it was portrayed in shitty way but then again, its more of writers fault. and while we’re at it, even if he wasnt interested in her romantically, he never disrespected her??? he took her seriously after she and her group explained what they did and why they did it and helped her free her planet.

fl/rona - okay i seriously dont know why you brought up this? he had maybe one convo with her and during it or right after he was literally drugged with poisoned alien food, then he got kidnapped, stung by a squid and had to fight and save the entire kingdom. he probably thought she was in the palace or somewhere in their village? with so much happening of course it could slip his mind. 

ny/a - well, im not really sure how to approach this one but im gonna try. yes, l/nce going after her was reckless and not his best moment but also?? literally everyone on the team except for h/nk seemed to trust them? and n/ma not only reciprocated/pretended to reciprocate but also played at his insecurities (aka pulling the “if you wont then im sure k/th aka the boy that you consider ur rival aka the boy that is one of the sources of ur insecurities will take me to his lion). and lance maybe has a strategical mind and works good on missions and in the heat of a moment but? he’s also an insecure teenager and teens tend to do reckless things when they want to impress someone. plus, lance generally seems to be rather trusting? hes not as guarded as, lets say, k/eith, hes thrives on social interaction and likes meeting new people. you can see it in the way he wanted to hang out with p/idge in the garrison even though she probs always turned him and h/nk down or how he was able to confide in coran despite knowing him for week at best or in how quick he was to play around and take selfies with complete strangers from the planet he just helped save in s3 and how well he worked with blade of m/rmora in same ep. hes quick to trust and become friends, which makes him an easy target for people like n/ma but overall isnt really a bad trait. 

all in all, lance is a very, very complex character and cant really be judged only basing on his flirting. hes much more than that. and while i understand where you’re coming from i cant really agree with you fully. the way his flirting is portrayed is shitty but hes not a bad person at all. 

sorry its so long btw, im just,,, kinda passionate dl

[dmnqboss]

BEWARE OF FUCK NIGGAS!

This was a guy I was "dating" from work. We were "together" for 8 months. We went to his house most nights after work, spent our days off together. It felt like a relationship. The more time we spent the more I was feeling him. And it felt reciprocated. We eventually came to terms that we were together. It was more hesitant on his end (RED FLAG ⚠️)

It started off, him plotting on me. Whenever he saw me he made slick comments. You know the comments I'm talking about. He's from the Bronx. He was older, 39. I'm was 23. So I still like that slick shit. He was the only guy not afraid to approach me. *cough* narcissist. So he got my attention.

I hadn't spoken or been with anybody for 3 months before him. Before that time I had been talking to and trying to develop a relationship with an engineer on the job for 2 months but I was hesitant about being with him. But he wanted to be with me so bad. And before that I had not entertained a man at all for 1 year and a half. So I was rusty and needed oil to loosen up. Whether it was sexually or mentally. I needed a Male presence. I grown and I need love too.

Time passes and we are fucking with eachother a little heavier. It gets heavy when I tell him I love him 🙄🤦🏽‍♀️. Yes I'm a dumbass. I would never let him break up with me because I didn't like his approach. (Over text, starting a fight, etc.) And he always wanted to break up over something petty. (I should've ran). I thought I was being a woman by challenging him to love and open up. Too him that was crazy, bipolar etc. But I didnt see it that way.

He always called me ugly, said I was fat. One time we had a pregnancy scare and he barked on me. Told me to get on birth control and I better not be pregnant. He always spoke to me in disgust.

I had bad hair days and there were times my hair wasnt done. Now I am grown so I never roll out bed and bounce. I do something it just doesn't last throughout the day.I have a stressful life and thats an understatement. I didnt always have the time or money. He made sure he let me know how repulsed he was by me. But never offered to pay for my hair to be done. I asked him one day and he said no, he said I'm a grown ass woman who can take care of myself. He would go as far as not speaking to me in public. And humiliate me in public if we were together around his boys.😔🙍🏾‍♀️

During our time together he always compared me being black to being crazy. Mind you he is a full grown black man. He always spoke about Spanish girls and mixed girls. But sometimes tried to uplift me. Sometimes! Whenever I felt beautiful or confident he found something wrong with me.

I stayed. 😤. But that's because we had the best times. We were cool, we were homies. Honestly I took it as him never being afraid to be honest with me. We kicked it all the time.I loved him. We both expressed how comfortable we were around the other. He even told me he never felt that way with anyone else 🙄. I know sis, I fell for it.

One day one of his work friends, our colleague, came up to me and said I was sexy. Then tried to kick it to me during my break. He knew that we were together so, I didnt entertain it but I didn't put a direct stop to it. We were at work and I was uncomfortable.

When he got to work, I was on my way out. I talked to him in the office. I told him what transpired and told him not to get mad. He got mad but internalized it and said he didn't care. He questioned why I told him that, as if I was being messy or malicious.I came back minutes later to get his keys, I had been staying in his apartment for a week straight. Cooking for him. Cleaning for him. As a trade off in a way, but I enjoyed doing it.

I had just smoked and taken a bath. So I was relaxed and I fell asleep around 10 PM waiting for him to get home. At 12:30 he calls me to open the door and he sounds mad. So when I open the door I ask him if he is ok. He doesn't answer and is pacing like he wants to say something. But he doesn't. I think everything is Gucci so I get back in bed and fall asleep.

He starts talking.

"I'm going to ask him."

I say "ok."

He keeps going. Angrier and angrier by the second.

I'm baffled and I just kind of let him go off for a few. Since I'm not giving a reaction he starts to dig and dig and dig until I cant take it. I get Heated but I'm still trying to diffuse the argument as I'm water and hes lit up, I'm staying calm basically. But he keeps going and now we are both yelling. But when I yell he pretends I'm the one wilding out and gets quiet😡. (He has a history of doing this) So I go off, defending myself. Because he is insuating wild shit. The colleague told him I asked him for drinks... A YEAR AGO! I admitted I did because he expressed how his dad just died, he missed his daughter, etc. I was being a friend, plus I was getting drinks after work on my dolo ANYWAY!

This made me mad. Because instead of just chopping it up man to man, he questions me and insuates me being a ho. Mind you I'm with him ALL THE TIME. I'm very loyal when I'm holding somebody down. But I'd I'm single I do me. And most times I entertain NO NIGGAS! I'm a chill person. So when I'm fed up. I'm fed up fed up!

So boom I'm going in, but never do I disrespect him. I love him, why would I? But im letting him have it to defend myself. He expressed that he didnt want to hear shit like that. And I agreed to never tell him again.

It gets heated he tells me to leave in the middle of the night. I live in a different state so my trains dont operate like NY trains. I say no and lay back down because hes being dramatic, at least that's what I see it as. We were in a relationship so we fought like this from time to time.

Disclaimer: He drank all day and drank a bottle of Titos when he got home. So I'm ignoring him because he is drunk as well. He drinks everyday, he is a a functioning alcoholic.

I get smart and say

"You talking mad shit yet you drinking MY whole bottle of liquor"

He pegs the bottle in my direction and it hits the wall. I know he wasnt going to hit me but he was trying to scare me.

I scream at him. Because now hes fucking bugging.

So while I lay in silence and he watches a movie, I'm texting my mom. I tell her i want to leave in the AM and never come back. She asks if I'm ok and if I need help. I say no. 1 minute later something clicks and says, GTFOH! So she calls me an uber and I get my things situated. He tells me to take the groceries I brought to him the day prior. So I do.

I go into the room to figure out why this bothered him so much. I grabbed leg so I can stand in front of him. He exchanged words with me and then

BOOM! I'm pinned against the wall, my head hits the closet door.

BOOM! It happens again.

Hes grabbing my face and neck and pinning me against his bed.

(I don't know about you but this does not sound like a tussle to me)

I wasnt fighting back. Honestly I was a little shook and confused. Because this is the very thing he said he would never do.

He walks to fix his bed so I started calling him a piece of shit, crying.

I walk away talking shit towards the door we get near the door and he picks me up and slams me really hard into the wall that happens to have the power box on it. And guess what hits it? Yup. My head. 🤕.

When he let's go and stops, he checks his chain because I kept grabbing his collar so I wouldn't fall too hard. I push his shoulder when I'm down, out of disbelief and frustration.

Once I do that.

I'm done.

He grabs me , slams me into the wall with the towel rack and then slams me into the tub. My head hits tha rim and I can no longer fight. That took the wind out of me. I didn't want to fight anymore. He stared into my eyes and I could tell he would've put me in the hospital if I tried to fight back. At this point I want to get out of here. When he slams me into the tub his chain pops because I was grabbing his collar. This was unintentional. I know the sentiment affiliated with his chain.

I get everything and throw all the food and things I bought for his kitchen, out. Meanwhile my uber was waiting for 10 to 15 minutes outside.my mom is calling and texting and asking to call the police. I hop into the uber and immediately block all contact with this man.

So the messages posted were right after everything and I am seeing them in my blocked message settings today.

I was distraught.

This man spent 8 months with me. Seeing eachother 3 to 4 times a week. Sometimes we never left each other's side. Spent some crucial moments in our lives with eachother. Our birthdays, holidays, spoke to our moms about eachother, I got a promotion at work, my father almost died, he was right there. Good and bad. I thought we were riding for eachother.

I had to realize that this man, owes me nothing. I learned to never be so vulnerable with people like this. Who can torment me after physically harming me. I had a headache for a week because of the trauma to my head. I had a concussion before so I knew I he gave me one. But I didnt want to say anything. I thought he was a good man who made a mistake. But he is just a toxic narcissist.

Beware of fuck niggas. When you notice signs that he is abusive, mentally or physically, please run. You can not change him.

Do not demean yourself for someone like this. I was vulnerable and allowed him to play with that. I gave him power. Vulnerability needs to be saved for your HUSBAND! A man who loves just like you. Who would jump for you. Ride with you. Who would never, even after a nasty split, do this to you.

Thank God every day and focus. Count your blessings and remind yourself to stay prayed up. If you're an empath, sensitive person, unconditional, kind, or even a mess with a great heart... dont you dare let anyone demolish your character. Hold your soul tight and remember that this is all you have to stay resilient against toxicity like this. Love yourself so that you never have to seek validation from NO ONE!

Love yourself. And dont ever feel stupid for loving unconditionally. Keep that, especially if it's in your nature. This physical world is always full of temporary shit. That divinity your heart possesses, that's forever and nobody can buy that or take that away.