#i dont like any of the food we have on christmas day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

forever-rogue · 2 years

Note

Omg what about a steve x reader where his parents dont even bother to be home for christmas so the reader plans a big christmas dinner / afternoon with all the kids and the teens and Steve gets to experience the holidays with a loving found family and maybe a mistletoe kiss too?

AN | Ooh, this idea is so cute 🥺

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Steve x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 3.4k

Masterlist | Steve, Main

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Merry Christmas!”

“Fuck!” Steve’s eyes grew wide as he found you standing in the doorway with a sheepish smile on your face. He softened when he saw that it was you, but remained poised with the knife in his hand. You raised an eyebrow at it, and he set it down with a small sigh, “I didn’t even hear you come in! Are you some kind of ninja?”

“Sorry,” you offered him a pretty little smile as you bounced over to him, standing on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips. His large hands settled on your waist as he pulled you closer, pressing soft kisses to your cheeks, nose, and forehead before stopping at your lips, “hey, my love.”

“Hi angel,” he brushed his against yours before sighing softly, “wasn’t expecting you till later.”

“Things wrapped up early at my aunt and uncle’s house,” you looped your arms around his neck, playing with the soft curls at the nap of his neck, “so I came to see you because I missed you and wanted to see you!”

“You saw me last night…”

“And I still missed you, Steve,” you whispered, causing him to blush shyly as a pretty rose pink settled in his cheeks, “cause I’m kind of in love with you, ya know?”

“I love you,” he promised, his brows quickly furrowing, “wait a minute - why Merry Christmas? It’s the day after Thanksgiving!”

“Exactly,” you nodded eagerly, “it’s Christmas now! So that means only holiday foods, Christmas music, and everything festive! And I had a brilliant idea.”

“Oh no…” there was nothing but soft affection between his words but you put your hands on his chest, “tell me then…”

“I was thinking we could go and get a tree today!” your enthusiasm was normally infectious but today you swore you saw his face fall, “and get an early jump on everything! My dad’s going to be traveling for work a lot this month so he won’t care what we do and I’m not sure about your parents-”

“They’re not going to be here,” he cut you off and there was a weird edge to his tone. He’d never snapped at you like that, and you recoiled from his touch, “and they never are.”

“I-I didn’t know,” your voice was soft as you took a step back from him, a frown tugging down the corners of your mouth, “I’m sorry, Steve. I didn’t mean-”

“No, it’s fine,” he shook his head before looking at you with apologetic eyes, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“‘s okay,” you touched his face, stroking over his cheek, “we’re okay, my love. How about we just stay in and watch movies today? Be all lazy and cuddle?”

“Yeah,” he agreed with a small smile, turning his head to press a kiss to the palm of your hand, “that sounds perfect.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You’d thought about what Steve had said for several days after. He had seemed so upset when you even mentioned Christmas that you made you loath to approach the topic again. This was the first holiday season you were spending together as a couple, and at all - you’d only meet him at the beginning of the year when you’d moved to Hawkins. You knew that his parents were absent and distant, but you didn’t know that had applied to the holidays too.

You didn’t want to upset him further, so you’d ended up talking to his friends about it, and they were able to enlighten you. But…that didn’t make you feel any better. If anything, it made you feel worse. Steve Harrington, your golden-hearted and sweet boyfriend, had never had a proper Christmas. Not since he was a very young boy, and he didn’t even really remember that. It broke your heart; Steve did so much for everyone else, did so much to make things good for the ones he loved. He gave and gave and he really asked for so little in return.

But this year you were going to give him everything you could and make it the best Christmas ever. This year Steve was going to be the one that received, he was going to get everything that you had to give. And, naturally, everyone else was on board with your little plan.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You still haven’t told me what we’re doing,” Steve’s gloved hand was holding yours, thick fabric wrapped fingers entwined as well as possible, “you could be taking me to get murdered for all I know.”

“Relax,” you gave his hand a squeeze as you slowed your walk down the block, “I would never murder you! I love you too much for that…”

“Then what’re we up to?” he raised an eyebrow in suspicion and you giggled at him, “you’re a devious little thing, you know that?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about,” you insisted, leaned over to press a kiss to his wind-chapped lips, “but I do hope that you trust me…”

“Of course…”

“Good,” you started to pull him to the end of the block and didn’t stop until you were standing in front of the biggest tree lot in all of Hawkins, “then I hope you’ll help me find the perfect tree.”

“Baby…” he looked between the rows of lush, green trees before looking back at you, finding a soft, pleading little look on your face. As much as Steve wasn’t initially jazzed about the idea, he couldn’t say no to you, his angel, “are you sure?”

“Yes,” you promised softly, taking his other hand so you were holding both of them, “I know the holidays haven’t always been the best for you, Steve, but I want to change that. I want to start new holiday traditions with you - you’re my family Steve, and that’s what matters. Not what’s happened in the past, or anything, just now and us. I-I love you, and I hope you know just how much. But I also understand if it’s something you’d rather not do. I just thought it might be nice…”

“I want to,” he promised softly, and you could see the glossiness of his eyes, and the slight tremble of his pretty pink lips. You looked at him with hopeful eyes and he nodded before leaning in and kissing you gently, “I really want to. You’re some kind of magic, huh?”

“No,” you shook your head softly, “I just happen to love you so, so much and want you to have the best Christmas ever.”

You wiped away the few tears that had rolled down his cheeks. He reached for your hand and pressed a kiss to your knuckles through the gloves and all, causing you to chuckle lightly, “thank you.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for,” it was a soft, reverent promise, “now come on, the perfect tree is out there waiting for us to find!”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You took a step back and looked around the large living room, taking it all in. The tree was up and fully decorated, the fireplace was crackling merrily, with two stockings hung on the mantle, along with lots of other decorations. You'd managed to find a couple boxes of old ornaments and decorations tucked away in the Harrington attic and pulled them out, along with the new ones the two of you had picked out. The whole place was decked out and festive, warm with love and affection.

Steve was finishing putting up the tree topper, looking at you to make sure it was placed correctly. You nodded eagerly, giving him a thumbs up as he started to climb off the small step stool, “wait! Stay there for one second.”

“What are you up to, silly girl?” but he remained rooted in place as you ran up the stairs, listening as you fumbled around for a few moments before running back down. You almost tripped over your own feet, “slow down or we’ll end up with a trip to the ER!”

“It’s fine,” you held up the polaroid and waved it at him eagerly, “I wanna take your picture! We can start a whole new scrapbook.”

His entire body flooded with warmth as you held up the camera and he grinned at you. For the first time in a long time his smile for a photo didn’t feel forced or fake, but it was large and genuine. You snapped the picture and pulled it out as soon as it printed, shaking it gently before setting it onto the counter. Steve climbed down and came over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist before gently picking you up and spinning you around, which caused you to giggle happily.

“Merry almost Christmas, my love,” you whispered when he set you down. The two of you were looking at each with sweet, shy smiles before you leaned up to kiss him, “everything looks beautiful.”

“Still not as beautiful as you,” his smile was cheeky as you playfully huffed at him. He fought off any remarks as he gently kissed you, “merry almost Christmas, angel.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The best part of having absentee parents was that you could spend as much time at Steve’s as you wanted. At this point you basically lived with him, stopping by your place only when you needed some clothes. Otherwise you were practically glued to him; you were on winter break from college and you were taking full advantage of it. You’d get up early to make sure Steve had something to eat before work, often stopped in to bring him and Robin lunch at Family Video, and liked to have dinner ready by the time he got home. He insisted none of it was necessary; you reassured him that you knew but still wanted to do it for him. He’d never been cared for as much as he took care of everyone else, and you enjoyed getting to do these types of things with him. Any moment spent with Steve was worth it.

“I think we have everything now,” you set down a bowl of crushed peppermints onto the table. You were decorating gingerbread houses together, and had pulled out all the stops, making sure you had everything you could have dreamed of, “these are going to be the best houses ever!”

“And I’ll bet mine is even better than you could ever dream of,” he teased, sticking his tongue out at you. You rolled your eyes dramatically as he leaned over and kissed your cheek, “hate to break it to you.”

“Oh? That sounds like a challenge Harrington,” you grabbed some of the frosting with a determined look on your face, “it’s on. Don’t cry when I win.”

“As if,” but there was a pretty smile on his soft lips as the two of you got to work. There was soft music playing on the radio as you both worked on your little houses.

The two of you worked happily, random conversations popping up here and there as the afternoon passed. Steve had started a fire that warmed the whole downstairs as snow lightly fell outside. The freshly baked gingerbread (yup, homemade - you weren’t cutting any corners this year) filled the house with delicious smells. You wouldn’t have changed a thing about that day.

“All done,” you grinned happily as you looked at the little house you’d created. It was far from perfect, but still extremely cute and you loved it, from the cracked peppermint snow to the little marshmallow snowman you’d constructed, “whaddaya think, Stevie?”

“It’s cute,” he looked it over, rubbing at his chin thoughtfully as he silently appraised your work, “not bad for some amateur work.”

“Amateur work?” you feigned offense as you clutched at your heart, “I’ll have you know that this is easily professional level craftsmanship! Let me see yours then, handsome.”

“Here you go,” he turned his towards you and you couldn’t help the way your mouth opened in surprise. He had done an excellent job for someone claiming it was his first time; the house was well constructed and adorable with all the little candy decorations. He’d even created two little people that were in the little yard, “tell me it’s not perfect.”

“It’s…amazing,” you admitted sheepishly as he grinned happily, looking ridiculously cute, “I love it, Steve. I like the little people too, very creative.”

“It’s us,” he whispered, trying to gauge your reaction. When he saw how your smile grew he couldn’t help but relax, “us in the future in our very own house.”

“It’s just missing a few things then,” you whispered as he raised an eyebrow, “like a dog or a cat and a couple of kids for starters.”

His big honeyed eyes studied you as your cheeks warmed up along with a sweet smile. A nervous breath escaped his lips as you nodded softly, “do you mean it?”

“Yeah,” you whispered, “if that sounds good to you.”

“More than,” he leaned over and kissed you, his lips capturing yours in a soft, saccharine little kiss before he rested his head against yours, “it’s perfect.”

“I think so too,” carding a hand through his hair, you gently scratched at his scalp as he leaned into your touch, “I meant it when I said you’re my family, Steve.”

“I know,” he closed his eyes and exhaled shakily, “I’m so in love with you.”

“Me too, Steve, me too.”

“And this totally means I won, right?” he asked as you laughed, shaking your head in amusement before nodding in agreement, “what’s the prize then?”

“Whatever you want, handsome.”

“I can think of a few things,” his hands settled on your waist as he pulled you into his lap, kissing you with a growing neediness and hunger, “including you.”

“Yes, please.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

On Christmas Eve you woke up early to soft sunlight streaming in through the gauzy curtains and Steve still sleeping soundly next to you. He had an arm wrapped around your waist, his face burrowed into the pillow next to you as he snored lightly. You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before untangling yourself from his long limbs. He made a small sound of protest but didn’t fully wake up and sank back into the covers.

You wanted to get a jump start on the way and tiptoed downstairs to start on some breakfast before wrapping some of the presents you’d acquired for Steve. They weren’t anything grand or over the top, but small, special things you hoped he’d like. The rest of the gang was going to come over in the afternoon to spend the day together, a surprise that no one had spilled to Steve through some miracle. You wanted this to be the most special of all, and what better way than to spend the day with all of your favorite people?

Whatever divine being was out there was on your side today because you had just finished placing the last of the presents under the tree and turning on the lights when he padded downstairs. He looked so pretty, despite having just woken up with sleepy eyes and wild bedhead.

“What are you up to, hmm?” you flounced over to him and leaned in to kiss him, ignoring his protests about having morning breath. You brushed his hair out of his eyes before brushing your knuckles over his cheek.

“Nothing,” you lied sweetly, “just got up early today, ‘s all.”

“Mhmm,” he quickly picked you up, causing you to squeal in delight as he walked to the kitchen where breakfast was just about ready, “you already did all of this?”

“Yup,” you grinned as he set you down on the counter, “wanted to have it all ready for you, my love. Happy Christmas Eve.”

“Thank you,” he bit the inside of his cheek as he ghosted his fingers along your jaw before resting his hand at the base of your neck, tenderly stroking the soft skin there, “this has been the best Christmas of my life. All thanks to you, angel.”

“Not all thanks to me,” you insisted, pressing a soft finger to his lips, “but this has been the best for me too.”

The two of you studied each other for a few moments, exchanging soft breaths and shy smiles, accompanied by soft kisses. Before you could get too lost in him, you put a hand on his chest before gently pushing him back, “we should eat breakfast before it gets cold and you end up taking me to bed.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he teased as you slid off the counter and went to pour coffee, “never heard you complain before!”

“Oh, I’m not,” you insisted, grabbing his favorite mug, “but there’s much to do today! No rest for the wicked.”

“You’re up to something…”

“Me? Never,” you grinned sweetly, but he could see through your façade, “just…have things to do today.”

“Mhmm…” he didn’t believe you but wasn’t about to push either - he’d get it out of you one way or another.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You’d just finished showering and getting dressed - despite your insistence that Steve wasn’t taking you to bed, you hadn’t turned him down - when you heard the doorbell ring. You grinned as Steve looked at you in confusion, still finishing his hair.

“I’ll get it,” you almost ran out of his room as he cast a curious look at you. He shook his head as he listened to you run down the stairs before he heard the creaking of the door. You grinned when you saw Dustin and Eddie accompanied by the rest of your friends, “hey guys! You’re just in time! He doesn’t suspect a thing.”

“Everything’s going according to plan for once,” Eddie handed you a bunch of mistletoe just as you had requested and you made a small sound of delight. You pressed a kiss to his cheek before stepping aside to let everyone in.

Once the whole gang was inside, you heard Steve coming down the stairs. You all waited with bated breath as he realized that you were all here. His entire face lit up with happiness as he looked at everyone, “what’s all this?”

“Merry Christmas Steve,” you held your hand to him, motioning for him to come down. He eagerly took your hand, softening when you laced your fingers together, “it’s Christmas Eve and what’s a better way to spend the day than with your family?”

“Nothing,” he agreed, letting his friends all take turns hugging him, “this is wonderful you guys!”

The afternoon and evening was spent with lots of eating and playing some silly holiday games, while cheesy holiday movies played in the background. There really wasn’t anything that you could have thought of that was better. While you chatted with Robin and Nancy and Steve hung out with the boys, you could feel his gaze shifting back to you every now and then. It brought a smile to your face every time, making you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

It was late by the time everyone had left and you were thoroughly stuffed from all of the delicious and worn out from all of the festivities. You glanced around the kitchen as you took in the mess, letting out a small but happy sigh. Everything could wait until tomorrow, you decided.

Steve was clearing some of the trash out of the dining room when you decided to put your little plan into action. You grabbed the mistletoe and held it behind your back as you stood in the doorway. Steve looked over and a smile crossed his features as he came over to you.

He looked at you with the softest expression, “thank you for everything, sweetheart. Today was….it means the world to me, you know?”

“I’d do anything for you, Steve Harrington,” you promised, “but there’s one thing I’d like to ask of you.”

“Name it - anything.”

“Will you kiss me?” you held up the mistletoe as high as you could and looked at him with wide eyes as he beamed at you. He nodded softly, his hands finding your face as he leaned in and gently kissed you, right there under the mistletoe. He pulled back when you were both breathless and giddy, “merry Christmas, my love.”

“Merry Christmas,” he whispered against your lips, “the first of a lifetime together.”

#steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington imagine #joe keery #joe keery x reader #joe keery x you

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antiwhores · 2 years

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Leaving - Bakugou x reader

———

Part 2

Bakugou lashes out at you and its your last straw. So you leave.

Heavy angst, no comfort cause we die like real niggas, domestic abuse (verbal/emotional), depression, fighting, disappointment,

Wrote this because I’m barely surviving rn 💀 i cannot relapse until Christmas and im fucking DYING !!! Anyway if yall want a part 2 lmk 😈

You’re depressed, so depressed that you can barely get out of bed to pee. Maybe you’re depressed because of the relationship, you cant tell. Maybe its the fact that you starve yourself every time he yells at you as a habit. Or maybe its the fact he doesn’t spend his days off with you anymore. He just goes out drinking with his friends or does whatever the fuck he does. Or maybe its the fact he doesn’t fucking care.

He only says mean things to you now.

“What the fuck? Why’re you so sad? You do nothing all day. You just sit in this house that I pay for. You’re not constantly almost dying, working hard.” He says this to you after he finds you crying in the guest room. You stay silent, its a battle that you dont have the energy to fight anymore.

The next day you go searching for a job. You confine in a friend and she gives you a job at her bookstore. She says that theres too locations you can work at. Apparently, she’ll be moving out of state to the next one soon and she invited you. She knew how horrible you felt. She was giving you an escape.

The next day you make dinner for Katsuki. You both sit down at the nearly abandoned dining table. It was refreshing for a few minutes, even though he didn’t involve himself in any of your conversation. You were just happy he wasn’t yelling at you.

You decide to drop the bomb after 5 minutes of eating. You could hardly contain your excitement when you asked him “Guess what?” He showed hardly any interest in you but some was better than none.

He looked up at you, signaling for you to speak. You beamed at him as you announced your new job. You immediately started to ramble about how cool it’ll be to get out and how excited you were.

You looked up at him and immediately stopped talking. He looked angry, his lip curled upwards and his brows furrowed.

You looked at him with confusion evident on your face. “What’s wrong?” You honestly didn’t expect this reaction. You were just stuck. Why was he angry when you’re finally doing something good?

“Do you think I’m just not capable of providing? I offer you money all the fucking time but you want a job? I give you enough and you dont use it unless its for food. What’s wrong with my money?”

His grip on the chopsticks folded them. You couldn’t even cry yet, you were just shocked. “I thought you’d like it? You always complain about me ‘freeloading’ off of you and how you pay all the bills. I could start paying too!”

You flinched as he slammed his fists against the table. “I don’t need your stupid fucking 9-5 money! Im the number 6 hero! You’re probably not even doing this for the rent. What do you want?”

No, no, no. This was not how this was supposed to go. He was supposed to be happy. And then you could be happy too. He would have asked you about your job and smiled and praised you. What is happening?

He jerked himself out of his seat and stomped over to you. You scooted yourself back away from him in the chair he grabbed it and held you still.

He pulled out his wallet and rummaged through it. “What? Do you want some of those stupid books? Some decorations for this house? A necklace?” You stared at him with wide eyes at he pulled out a wad of cash and shoved it into your chest.

“There, ya happy now? Still want that job?” He crossed his arms, waiting for you to respond.

He treated you as if you were a slut, a gold digger. You were with him before he was rich. How could he even think that? You were done.

You looked down at the floor as tears flooded your eyelids. “Do you think I’m only here for your money?” It was a question you knew you had to ask. You would be left curious and broken for the rest of your life if you didn’t know now.

“You know, I’m starting to think so.”

That was your last straw. You couldn’t do this anymore.

The giggles came out before the sobs. Tears streamed down your cheeks yet you still laughed. “The hell are you laughing for?!” Its like he was upset that you weren’t already screaming at him.

You looked up at him, meeting his eyes for the first time in what felt like years.

“Do you know how hard you are to love?”

He paused, opening and closing his mouth.

You slid off your ring and set it on the table. Then you gathered the money through blurry eyes. The sobs started to fill in when you shoved the money into his chest just as he had done to you. You watch his fall to the floor.

“I try and try my best. I get a job, I make you dinner, I give you everything I have.” You reach up to take off the necklace that had his initials carved into. “I defend you, I make enemies for you, I sacrificed friendships and family relationships just to please you. But its never enough.” You set the necklace down and go to the bracelet he gave you. “I never asked for any of this expensive shit. The only thing I asked for was your love.” You set the bracelet down with your resolve.

He’s staring at you now with a look of surprise. You meet his eyes again with a look he hasn’t seen directed at him ever. “I’m done, Bakugou. Im done.”

You dont even notice when you start to gather your charger and car keys. You dont hear anything he has to say. You don’t hear the pleas for you to just listen and calm down. You dont hear the insults he says when he calls you overdramatic. And you definitely don’t hear the apology, cause it never came.

You walked towards the door, “I’m gonna pick up the rest my stuff tomorrow.” He grabs your wrist just before you touch the doorknob. “Please y/n, just sit down for one fucking second. We can talk about this!” You yank yourself out of him hands, “Touch me again and I’ll scream.”

You knew he couldn’t afford anything else on his record, especially domestic abuse. He had to just watch as you walked away. And you fucking loved it.

#bakugou headcanons #bakugou x reader #mha x reader #bakugou angst #bakugou imagine #bakugou katsuki #katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader

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necroneol · 9 months

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TW SA AND ABVSE MENTION

okay hi, i know this is unusual for this account but i just wanted to put something out there. apparently my stuff is going around on the fake disorder cringe reddit which is..well. it is what it is. i just want to say some things.

if you have a problem with me grow up and say it to my face. hiding behind reddit is pathetic. i have said it a million times before but what you see here is a mere fraction of my life and my experiences. some people on reddit were saying that my idea of “abvsive” is most likely me just whining because i have to do chores. and ill say that im sorry for you, and i feel for you. you sound very lonely and hateful and sad and isolated. i hope you can find something better. truly. i will never understand how people see content online and assume they know some hidden truth, like theyre the only one who can see through the lie.

you want the truth? the truth is that i Do whine when i have to do chores. and i cry when my mother takes away my food as punishment. and i close my eyes and take it when she hurts me. i do what im told because i know what happens if i dont. i keep my secrets inside, and i keep my mouth shut, not because i want to, but because i have to. because every single time i even attempted to tell my mother about any of the sxual azzaults i endured, half of which were perpetrated by my own family members, she told me i was so ugly that no one would want to touch me like that, so i must be making it up.

so yeah. i whine when i have to empty the dishwasher for the third time in one day when there are at least 4 other people in the household capable of emptying a damn dishwasher.

i am lucky enough to have these moments of normal, every day disappointment and frustration. i am lucky enough to have time in between to complain about doing the dishes. you are lucky if you have the time to put strangers down behind the safety of anonymity for no reason other than you can and youre bored.

my life is real. just because you cant fathom it doesn’t mean it’s fake. my diagnosis is real. i am real. find a better hobby and learn how to love yourself.

thanks so much to anyone reading and to everyone who’s supported me so far. i finally have hope in my life. i am forever grateful and i hope these insecure people can find some hope of their own one day. we all deserve it.

happy holidays and merry christmas!

#tw #probably shouldbt react ar all but come on. during the holidays?#you guys are supposed to be spreading love and good tidings not fake claiming people on yhe internet #dont be a loser.

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jessysapphireblue · 9 months

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One Piece Advent Calender Door 17

Door 17: Getting the Supplies

“A date with my beloved Goddess”, Sanji almost flew behind you with hearts, while you looked at the shopping list. “Sanji, your creepy side shows” “Ah, sorry sorry”, he stopped and went to you. “How should we do it?”, you asked. “If you want we can go together!!!” “But it would take double the time, and you´re already busy as it is”

The cook swore, he nearly died when you said it in a soft, concerning voice. “MY GODDESS~~~”, he swooned loudly and hugged you close, praising you like there was no tomorrow, and people began to look at you both, some snickering, some cooing.

“S-Sanji” “Oh my beloved! You light my day like an angel, carry me away with your love to the Garden of Eden, just the two of us! No one else~ I´ll be your slave for all eternity~” “S-Sanji, please” “Ah, my beloved you-” Picking his nose, he yelped shortly and let you finally free. “Thank you, Sanji. Following. You do half of the list, I do the other one”, you swiftly folded and ripped the list in half. “There! You take care of the meat we need, and I get these things like cabbage, fruits and everything else. Does that sound ok to you?” “B-But the date”, he looked so depressed.

“URGH!”, you groaned. “If you get protective over me because some store clerk or ANY guy that talks to me, I am gone and you do it yourself, understood?”, you said serious and Sanji´s nose already began to drip. “Y-You mean-”

You started walking. “You comming now or not?” “OM MY WAY!”, you swore he used soru or anything similar, how fast he was by you.

Walking from store to store you both bought the stuff needed, and Sanji had to bite down his jacket whenever a male talked to you, no matter the age. Even if it were little boys from the Christmas cards you did few days prior asked if Soma was by you again.

“Do you seriously got jealous of the children?”, you laughed softly. “My Goddess! A male is a male!” Laughing more, he began to swoon again from your laughter. “Ah, you´re simply perfect~” “Me? I´m not perfect! Nobody is...so” You spotted an empty bench and went there with Sanji. “Sanji, stay here for a bit. Rest your arms from all the grocery shopping, I come back soon, Promise”

He sat down and watched you run away, his heart warmed. You were always so kind to him, gentle and a big help in the kitchen, even if it was just simple serving of the food. “Damn Luffy. If you break her heart I will break you...”, he growled a little as you came back. “Thanks for waiting. Here. I got you some hot coffee and a crepe. What would you like? I have Banana and chocolate chips with peanuts or with some hot cherrys and vanilla”

“You-thank you” he said and took the coffee. He didn´t wanted to admit it but he did needed something hot. “I saw how you began to freeze and I thought you could use something warm. So what would you like?” “Oh, the banana one” Smiling, you handed him the crepe before taking a bite out of yours.

“This is nice”, he said and you looked at the blond cook, his smile genuine and soft. “what is?” “This. I had a lot of fun shopping with you” “Sanji, I already told you that I join you. Can´t you get everything alone! It isn´t fair...” “But still- Thank you” “Of course. But dont worry about me. I can defend myself...I have the higher bounty than Zoro” “Haha! Mosshead got overthrown by a girl”

“Oh why yes! Want a bite from my crepe?” “I-I-Indirect-” An indirect kiss with his Goddess?! Sanji was freaking out. Leaning to it, his mouth began to shake as “UH! YUMMY!”, Luffy appeared from behind the bench and took a big bite from it. “LUFFY!”, both of you shouted. “HOT! HOT HOT HOT!”, he said with full mouth as you laughed a little, Sanji felt depressive yet again. “You runied my indirect kiss with my Goddess”, Sanji fell into the snow. “What´s wrong, Sanji?” Luffy was confused. “Uh! Hot choco!” “Here, take a sip”, you smiled and handed him your cup as he drank but put his tounge out. “No. Your´s is better”

“Because I spoiled you...why are you even here?” “HEHE! I got lost”, he stated proudly “This is not something to be proud off, Capatin” “No? well then” “Ok, let us go back to the sunny, we have everything now” “Yes please. I´m getting hungry and have no money”, Luffy whined loudly.

And with that, Sanji, Luffy and you went back to the Sunny, the boys carrying the supplies while you drank your hot chocolate slowly to an end.

#luffy #luffy x oc #luffy x reader #luffy x y/n #monkey d. luffy #one piece #straw hat luffy #anime and manga #straw hat pirates #straw hat crew #groceryshopping #platonic friendship sanji #vinsmoke sanji #sanji #black leg sanji #one piece sanji #sanji x reader #blackleg sanji

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figula · 9 months

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what i think is going on wrt covid (basically a compilation of what people who actually know what they're talking about are saying) bc i think i need to write it all down for my own sanity

where we are generally

current worldwide dominant variant is either already or about to be jn.1 which is very immune-evasive (i.e. why it's suddenly winning)

symptoms can be pretty much anything, from asymptomatic, to something indistinguishable from mild allergies, to something indistinguishable from food poisoning, to (EXTREMELY rarely) death

no evidence that severity of disease is either better or worse than other omicron subtypes

at time of writing the UK is seeing an uptick in hospitalisations, which has generally a ~10 day lag on infection time, so we can surmise that covid is rampant atm

where we are w/ long covid

long covid rate per infection seems to have declined steadily since 2020. i like this piece on why the long covid problem has probably peaked already (well sourced, click around)

frustrating lack of cohesion with definition and diagnosis: the CDC defines it as problems going on for FOUR weeks; the WHO only calls it long covid after TWELVE weeks. (personally i think the CDC one is way too keen - it's really not uncommon to have a cough that lasts for 2-3 weeks post-virus and i dont think it necessarily indicates anything "wrong")

there urgently needs to be more clarity re: long covid subtypes: some people are suffering extremely badly with debilitating pain & fatigue, some people have a lingering cough, some people who were hospitalised have been severely deconditioned from lying in a bed for weeks - etc. all of these are conceivably diagnosable as long covid under the current guidelines, with extremely different needs. "long covid" currently comprises such an enormously broad range of symptomology that it seems almost impossible to tease out an individual risk from oft-yelled alarmist statistics like "1 in 10 infections result in long covid". like - ok - what kind of long covid are we talking? bc if you mean "1 in 10 people are still coughing at 4 weeks" i would believe it, but if you mean "1 in 10 people are severely debilitated for years" i would not.

reinfections probably dont incraese the long covid risk by very much, if at all. if you don't get it the first time you're very unlikely to get it the second time

not many (? i dont even think there are any really) treatments for long covid but the patient community is really really driving the research forward

anyway, the outlook for the UK for the next month i think is probably pretty bad on a population level thanks to the new variant jn.1 gaining global dominance, regular seasonal socialising, colder weather, + i wouldnt be surprised if the NHS cant cope (again). there's obviously only so much you can do but you really dont want to be in need of hospital treatment at the beginning of jan, when i suspect things will be worst, when there are no beds + the staff are all overworked hard to say anything about how bad the wave will be on an individual level bc we dont really know anything about jn.1's relative severity one way or the other but the sheer numbers of infected will presumably make it bad at scale if you're in the UK and have plans for christmas (or sooner) i would try and avoid mixing much until those plans happen to be honest, all the data is a week behind at least + even that data is showing large increases in covid activity so the actual picture will be worse by now

also, people whose analysis i generally trust and find helpful - a mixture of doctors / statisticians / biologists etc: paul mainwood oliver johnson prof. christina pagel eric topol jp weiland omicron data there are also a serious amount of covid alarmists on the internet and i find this frustrating at best + actively triggering at worst lol like just bc you're on "the right side" (i.e. you aren't in favour of mass deaths and/or disabling events) you cant just create misinformation + wilfully misinterpret studies lol. like it sucks still but where we are right now is completely different to 2020. if you see anyone comparing covid to "airborne aids" that is your cue to block

#this is such a boring post #i made it unrebloggable bc i didnt cite (many) sources and its not really something i want read as gospel #which i dont think any of my actual followers would do lol #but once it gets out of your own little zone...

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artwithoutblood · 2 months

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i did publish a thing for patreon [that i dont use anymore] that was supposed to be a sex game about dorian and erebus at a christmas party but they just went to erebus's office and chatted because i cant write sex

I thought it’d be more like Dorian reeling around obnoxiously hitting on the few colleagues he doesn’t dislike and trying to dance on things not meant for the purpose. Trying to swing around the poles of the floor lamps.

His hat is gone. Erebus is chasing him and growing increasingly agitated because Dorian has stolen Erebus’ collar chain and is wearing it around his head

He basically would. Maybe not the pole part but the rest I could see.

I'm using this below to paste the thing I wrote. It wasn't finished.

a few familiar faces. a few faces that blend in with one another. erebus is one of them, and he certainly doesn't want to be there. but it's rude to live with two demons who are organizing a party and not join in on the festivities.

aeron doesn't like to host parties. at their own events, they sit in a corner, legs crossed with a cold glass of water in one hand. their eyes gaze emptily into the crowds, consciousness scanning faces and bodies that are a million miles away.

genesis always has to beg them. dissonance loves the lights, the music, the celebration. he's grown to love christmas because of his time with his children over the years. "people in the human world get together and have holiday parties! they drink n' dance n' wear stupid outfits! they even do it at work! ain't that crazy, aeron? we've gotta host one. please? we can do it in the gallery!"

delusion agrees, as long as it's far away from any of the breakable art. they settle on a banquet hall, used often for receptions or special exhibits. aeron decorates with colorful lights and decorative pine needles. genesis caters food and puts together the perfect playlist of classical piano and ambient drones.

erebus never liked fancy suits. sure, his usual attire was regal, elegant, fit for an archivist who spent centuries combing through books. but the suit that scarlet had crafted for him was far beyond his usual dress.

"i had made this for your predicessor," she had explained to him when he begrudgedly came to pick it up, "but since he's…gone, i thought i'd modify this for you. to fit you better, y'know."

delirium always hated being compared to dreams. he just had to swallow it.

the suit was beautiful, emblazened with appliques of snakes, ancient words, and images of the sun. the brooches on each collar were handcrafted from celestial silver, meant for the demon of dreams and repurposed for erebus's small stature. beautiful shades of green and black and gray, matched against silver jewelry.

familiar faces pass by erebus as he stood near a row of paintings, away from the drink tables and towards a corner's emptiness. diana handed erebus a glass of water and told him to call her over if he needed anything. graves staring with empty eyes, empty words, and a small platter of cake in his hand. aeron runs their fingers through his hair and thanks him for coming. xinyue talks him down from his anxiety by filling his head with thoughts of the next few days and what work erebus can do once the party is over. that puts his mind at ease.

he treats himself to small, strawberry tarts, seated in his own corner. most attendees ignore him. and that's just how he likes it, sitting as quiet as one of the corpse statues that line some of the halls outside of this cheerful place.

erebus has always been used to eyes on him. he assumes aeron is always spying, even if delusion isn't doing it actively.

but tonight is different. erebus looks up, finds aeron in the crowd, and breathes a sigh of confusion when he realizes the painter has their full attention on a man that erebus has never seen before.

who's looking at him then? he scans the area over and over, puts down his dish and stands up to do so. sweat drips delicately down his forehead. erebus never thought he'd miss the prying eyes of delusion, replaced by something foreign to him.

all erebus had to do was look right in front of him. across the long hall is another man, adorned in similar glasses and a muzzle over his face, leaning against a bookshelf and swirling a fruity drink in his hand. he presses the straw through the bars of his muzzle and to his lips, stealing another glance at erebus.

he has met dorian a few times in the past. librarians of different fields come to know each other, share their knowledge. dorian just barely leaves his domain, deep in the circles. he occasionally visits the gallery to admire aeron's newest handiwork. the two of them exchange art for knowledge, sometimes vice versa. dorian has joined them for dinner before, but all that heresy does is sit patiently, drinking tea and listening patiently to whatever comes from delusion's mouth.

they lock eyes for a few moments before dorian breaks it, closing them to indulge himself deeper in his tea. what does heresy want? erebus isn't sure.

but he sighs. he knows he has to do the hard work of reaching out.

erebus stands in front of dorian, arms crossed, foot tapping gently against the floor. dorian doesn't notice him - on purpose, of course - waiting for delirium to speak for himself. erebus sighs, defeated.

"are you going to explain yourself?" he asks, his brows furrowed.

dorian pushes the bridge of his glasses further up his nose. "hm, explain what?"

"you've been staring at me from across the room for at least five minutes now. is there something on my face?"

"besides your pretty eyes, no."

erebus hasn't been able to blush in centuries, but he knew his ears would be burning red at that if he could.

dorian just laughs. "i'm teasing you, erebus. i've just been debating on whether or not i move to talk to you, but i was too absorbed in this drink…"

"that you were too lazy to move and walk over to me?"

"that's right."

but why talk to me?" erebus doesn't seem to understand why anyone would care for his presence at this party other than his own coworkers.

"a few reasons," dorian places his drink on a nearby table. "first, you're the only person here who looks just about as lonely as i."

"you don't have people to talk to, dorian? you're important. you're one of the most important people here, i'd say."

"you know i'd say the same about you, head archivist."

"erebus. just call me by my name." he clasps his hands together, gently squeezing his palms together.

"erebus." his name is heavy on dorian's lips, slow, said with a soft taste of pine in his voice.

"…you aren't pitying me right now, are you?" it's what erebus hates most.

"no…" dorian shakes his head. he eyes the exit next to him, where the lights grow dim and the music would dissolve into silence. "i can talk to anyone here whenever i'd like. but you are a rarity. even at archives receptions, you are holed up in your office or pretending to be busy so no one approaches you."

"you of all people should know how important our work is," erebus is frustrated, eyes darting away from dorian, hoping that someone will grab him by the arm and whisk him away from this obligation.

"i do. of course i do," dorian nods, "but…"

"but what?"

"is it wrong that i've wanted to get to know you? know you past the formalities of work?"

"heresy is a liar, you know. why should i believe you?"

"i'd like you to use my name too."

erebus swallows. his eyes land on aeron, who is in the middle of putting on a haphazard theatric performance of some horrible story that happened to them recently. aeron notices immediately and locks eyes, smiling, waving their left hand.

god, sometimes his roommate is so innocent.

"why, erebus, are you acting like i want to hurt you?" dorian is serious. he may have been teasing earlier, but his eyes are dark, lips now neutral as opposed to curled upright in his default smile. "is it because everyone else you've ever met has wanted to hurt you? or, at least, that's what you think is happening?"

erebus swallows hard. he looks through dorian, rather than at him.

"because…i'm not here to do that," dorian shakes his head. "especially not here, surrounded by people. in fact, i rather admire you and your commitment to your work. but even so…"

erebus can't bother to look at him right now.

"i can tell you want to talk about other kinds of things. you love your books, but you love other things. but you don't feel like you're worth it past what you're good at. i'm right, aren't i?"

delirium falls silent, his head to the floor, inhaling deep breaths despite no longer needing to use his fragile lungs. dorian does not break the silence between them. he waits for erebus to speak.

and erebus does. "but why does that matter to you? why do you care?"

"do i need to have a reason?"

erebus rubs the dark circles under his eyes.

dorian makes his intentions clear. "i'm asking if the two of us can exit this loud, crowded room. i want to sit down with you, alone, and i want to hear erebus talk. not the archivist, not delirium, but erebus."

erebus looks back up, locks eyes with dorian. "you want me alone?"

"so i can focus on all of you, yes."

delirium will admit he would much prefer to be pulled away from the loud noise and the heat of other bodies. erebus can already feel the weight lifting off his chest, only to be replaced with nearly equal weight, all from one person: dorian.

erebus gives in. "fine."

dorian smiles.

erebus leads dorian down the hall, and the music that encapsulated them starts to fade. he knocks every so often against the wood finishings of corners, of the frames of old paintings. dorian cocks his head in confusion.

"i have a door somewhere between here and my office," erebus explains. doors are like small portals. genesis hides dozens of them in their shared space, all so he can steal trinkets and food from the other two members. he steals erebus's teabags and areon's sewing supplies, but he gives nothing back in return.

eventually, an old painting of a boat, ravaged by a stubborn sea, glows blue with absolute light. a small door opens, and erebus bows, inviting dorian inside.

"can i get you something new to drink?" erebus asks, "i know you just had…what were you drinking?"

"a shirley temple," dorian responds. erebus's office is small, ornately decorated yet humble all in the same visage. it was much like erebus was, strung with books on every wall, with globes and keys and small vials of ink leaving the place in its own orderly disarray. erebus pulls the chair from behind the desk to the front, allowing dorian and erebus to sit on equal footing. "i'm alright. thank you."

erebus nods, makes himself a cup of green tea with jasmine, and sits down.

it takes a few minutes, a few spits of reassurance from dorian for erebus to talk. sometimes, his eyes never leave the swirling liquid inside his teacup. eventually, erebus unravels. he talks about his greenhouse and all the plants he's been growing inside. he talks about his collection of antiques from before his own demonhood, all related to the stars above. he talks about some novels he's read, not novels he's written.

erebus has never been very good at reading emotions.he checks dorian's eyes, his mouth (or what he can of it due to the muzzle), but dorian does not break eye contact once. he sits with full attention on erebus, only moving to settle deeper into his chair. there seem to be stars in his eyes, admiration circling those irises of his. erebus swallows, adjusts his glasses, continues.

does dorian like it? is this just a ploy to collect information on him? erebus didn't really care; his mouth were running faster than his brain was.

but the intense staring, mind swimming…it makes erebus anxious, after an hour or so of infodumping all over this man who was barely more than a stranger.

"am i…bothering you? you look disappointed in me."

dorian refuses to break eye contact (erebus's worst nightmare) as he reaches two of his fingers up to his face. they slide between the bars of his muzzle and swipe gently over his own black lips. "i'm not disappointed in you, erebus. not at all. i'm disappointed in myself."

"why is that?"

heresy stands, his intricately-embroidered coat unfurling with him, revealing shimmering spider lilies and camellias. he gently pushes his glasses further up his nose. erebus is cautious and takes a stand as well, moving his body away from the chair.

"dorian? is everything alright?" erebus asks, but he fears his question will fall on deaf ears.

erebus has always been shorter than dorian, but as dorian approaches him, those silver-plated high heels on his feet, erebus realizes the size difference much clearer. it doesn't take long for erebus to find his back to a wall, with dorian placing one arm next to erebus's head, preventing any escape.

"i'm just disappointed that…" dorian breathes a heavy sigh. any twinge of shame lies behind that muzzle and refuses to leak out. "…i can't kiss you right now."

erebus's eyes go wide. "i'm sorry…?"

in most situations, erebus would have fished a pair of scissors from his pocket and driven them straight into dorian's chest. two problems arose:

one: he doesn't have his scissors, because this wasn't his usual outfit. he must have left them in the pocket of his uniform.

two: he doesn't really…want to, no matter how much his voice swims in confusion.

they sit in silience, whose pressure never bursts or dwindles, and dorian stares with those stars still in his eyes.

erebus is the first to break the silence. "why?"

dorian does not answer at first. that makes erebus anxious.

"…please let me go."

dorian responds immediately. "i'm trying to find a way to explain this that would help you understand. if i tell you that i have no reason, you'll panic. if i tell you it's because you're beautiful, alluring even in your mystery, you'll deny it. if i sit in silence, contemplating an answer, your hands will shake, as they do now."

he locks his fingers with one of erebus's hands. delirium's limbs make small tremors. dorian remedies this by pressing his forehead against delirium's. erebus's eyes light up, confusion being sprinkled with…wonder? relief? he wasn't sure. all erebus knows is that someone is using his name, is holding him and singing him sweet praises that he's never heard in his life (this isn't true, erebus just was not receptive, but that barely matters when heresy pins you against a wall in your own office).

dorian's hand slides back to erebus's face, gently cupping his cheek, thumb running along his jawline. "if you're so anxious, i can stop, we can return to our conversation, and we can pretend this never happened."

erebus does not respond for a long, long while. his mind was swimming, trying to drown his own complex. dorian was, without a doubt, beautiful; something about his mismatched eyes, his black lips, his off-white skin, it was all beautiful. dorian makes himself irresistable just by his existence, and erebus was still trying to wrap his head around why dorian was interested in someone as boring, mean, and hard to obtain as erebus.

maybe the last part was it. it didn't matter now. the bird has caught the snake, right on his own grounds.

erebus raises a hand up to one of the long pieces of dorian's hair. the rest had been tied into a delicate bun and secured with silver hair accessories, save for two sections that trailed down to his chest. his eyes focused on the variations in colors of dorian's hair. peach, off-white cream, gray, strawberry blonde.

"is…everything alright, erebus?"

"pretty."

"what?"

"your hair is pretty."

dorian laughs. "you really think so?"

"yes."

"it used to be curly," dorian explains, "but i suppose the first death and the ash somehow flattened it. thankfully, it's still soft.

"i like it like this," and erebus brings the hair to his nose, inhaling the scent. dorian smells like patchouli and rose with a hint of vanilla.

heresy's ears light up with red, making the silver jewelry glow even brighter.

"for someone so touch-averse, i'm surprised you had the nerve to…sniff my hair?"

"i like nice-smelling things. it puts me at ease." erebus opens his eyes and looks back up at dorian, and the anxiety flushes back in.

"you're a little weird, don't you know that?"

"i…i'm sorry." erebus looks embarrassed.

"no, that's a good thing. i like that."

#dorian ask #erebus ask

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bearsgrove · 6 months

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9, 17, 18, 23, 56, 98 for the ask thing?

thank u so much for all of these!!!!! ♥

9. favorite smell in the summer? late evening in the forest or near a meadow, after a hot day all the grass smells kind of nice when u are just sitting on a porch drinking beer

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? my army green combat boots! super comfortable and reliable, i love them so much

18. ideal weather? snowing with fog :( sad face because its sunny and warm now and winter has ended…… i mourn. i grieve. but yeah. if not snowing then cold with fog. if not fog then just kinda cold and overcast. i love my cold ok and im allergic to the sun.

23. strange habits? idk if this is just a strange habit or just my severe ocd showing but i wash my hands after nearly everything. but mainly after being in contact with any kind of metal like keys, door handles or coins. i cannot stand the feeling and scent of metal on my hands and i need to wash my hands immediately. but i also wash them just like. all the time. i have many strange habits for sure but most of them im not even super aware of and cant think off the top of my head because they are so normal to me until someone points them out lol. the hand washing im just aware of because anyone who knows me irl notices and comments on it so im Aware alright. but cant think of any more rn

56. favorite tradition? ok so i hate christmas and easter but my grandma is very traditionally christian and i cant imagine those holidays without her food. christmas potato salad and easter meat cake. man. i look forward to those all year. cant think of any actual traditions that dont involve food tho actually u know what. i do love the gift giving during christmas. my mom tried to sort of divert from that tradition because we dont have a lot of money but the thing is i dont spend much on gifts, i love making them. so despite disliking christmas i still like the aspect of making something for the people i love and then giving it to them and seeing their reaction

98. favorite historical era? this one is hard alright because i fucking LOVE history. i cant choose just one. tho i generally lean more towards the ancient times than anything more recent. i love ancient egypt, mesopotamia, ancient greece and rome…. celts. idk. there is something about the industrial revolution era too. but yeah mostly i think i love ancient times the most.

#asks #sealacrossthesea #thank u again for sending these i enjoyed rambling!!! :^)

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ashenberry · 4 months

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do u have a list of every different mgrec timeline by any chance :3

Prime Timeline, with 3 different points that get visited before it gets split at da end but we have Current Day (which would be '21 in the au) mgsv era (1984, specifically shortly after eli snags sahelanthropus) mg1 era (specifically right before the building explodes)

Twin Snakes (alternate mgs2 take) takes place in 2009. features liquid and snake as the big bads of the whole big shell incident and then deadcell in the protagonist position. raiden is still there not knowing what the fuck is going on. honestly the easiest alternate timeline that came to me it all kinda works out really well. solidus would probably go through a more old snake arc. snake and liquid would have that dynamic that hayter and clarke do in their fucking. mgs christmas specials. deadcell in the hero roll is like REALLY fun imo. raiden is there. confused. <3

Snake Haven (alternate mgs3 take) takes place in 1964. what if the boss lived looks at u. most indulgent this gets but looks at u. what if she lived what then. what then.

Millers Maxi Buns (i cant in good faith call this an alternate peacewalker take. its like half peacewalker half v. also dont have a definitive date for it. somewhere between '84 and '95) what if they tried to burgers for world peace first instead of the private miltia. what if it worked. mostly a gag timeline very fun to come up with ways on how kaz still lost an arm n a leg in the food buisness and how bb still got a body double in venom. in the food business. their main rivals is KxoFC

Otacons Revenge (alternate mgs1 take, takes place in 2005) what if otacon was the hero of shadow moses. what if he had an evil twin brother name comic con. what if that was just emma. still trying to get all the parts of this one tied down rn its like. 1 neat idea.

#ashen.ask #mgsv spoilers #<- for mmb #mgrec #mgs #<- for joey

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deathbxnny · 9 months

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Hi there, so how are you rn? Have you been taking care of yourself? I apologize for being absent lately..

First of all, i would like to say that im excited to see your personal ideas that we have yet to see! I already like the fics we have been getting. Although, are you still burnout from HSR? Will there be any chance of us seeing any HSR fics in the possible future (this is just a curious question, i hope you dont mind me asking)

Second of all, any thoughts of the recents updates for HSR and Genshin Impact? In HSR, we will literally get a actual good 5 star character for free, im not joking. This is because of HSR winning three awards and all but wow we HSR players are eating good. Then there’s Genshin Impact with Ayaka with a gun..? Im planning to finally start playing Genshin again but why the hell does Ayaka has a gun?????

Third, soo i hope you dont mind asking but what’s the status with “What lies beyong the paintings”? Ik the blog is undergoing through some changes but what’s going to happen to the series? Will you still continue it or is it discontinued?

Ik you’re currently going through a rough patch rn but please remember to take care of yourself. Drink some water, eat some comfort food, take a cat nap, or anything that makes you feel happy. I hope whatever you are going through, you will come out alive and fine. Take care bxnny

- Flower anon 🌸

-----♡

Hello Flower Anon,

I thank you for your kind words and don't mind that you have been absent, especially as I have been as well. But unfortunately, I will use this post to make a more sadder announcement for the blog.

I don't think, that I'll be coming back to writing anytime soon after all. Life has made it very hard to hold on and as I've mentioned before, days are getting darker. I have no time for anything and even now on my Christmas vacation I find myself feeling no motivation or time for anything really. And for that reason, I've decided to put the account on hold, until I'm able to piece my life together again. I know this will come as an disappointment to most, but it's the best I can do.

This is my main account however and so I'll be active here and there for moots or small life updates, if there are any, but for now, everything will be on a hiatus. It hurts alot, as writing was always my only form of comfort to me, but alas, so is life. Perhaps one day I'll get back the motivation and happiness I had back in May.

And so, I thank you again Flower Anon and everyone else for supporting me and my work. It truly means the world to me.

I wish you all happy holidays and a happy new year.<33

-----♡

#bxnny-talks

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cryingpupp · 9 months

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i didnt really think abt having to heal all of this sh while its christmas :( i have to hide my whole body basically cant b comfy in a tshirt, i jst wanna have some good days and not stress abt sh or calories

why is christmas always food food food cant we just do some cocaine or something

i hope i can ignore all those thoughts and actually enjoy the food but i feel like i dont deserve any of it..

im cold im gonna go to bed :( hnggsshhb

#neg)#body hurts real bad

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littlechinesedoll · 9 months

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support your local sellers, don't just eat their stuff when it's free. we sellers, home business bakers don't need y'all to just tell us it's good and that we need to sell it. don't turn your backs when we finally put a price to our efforts. you don't get to decide the price of our products, effort, and exhaustion.

we have a small community cooperative who wanted to host small bazaar of sorts. of course, nobody is obligated to sell anything. one of our neighbors decided to sell vegetables.

i, who have given away free samples of literally everything i have been baking/experimenting on for the last three years, thought this is a good idea to gather more customers or find opportunity even for giveaways since it's christmas. i already have a loyal customer base who always get half a dozen of these large cookies every now and then, and then more during christmas. so i thought, what's the harm? maybe someone will like these and buy some for gifting, right?

i made some half batches of cookies (cranberry and white chocolate 2USD/pc, dark chocolate and walnuts 2.5USD/pc, double chocolate 2USD, and snickerdoodles 1USD/pc) and three loaves of chocolate cake (8USD/pc). the cookies are 125g (4.4oz) each, and the cake as a whole with the ganache topping is about 400g (14oz by weight).

it doesn't sound like a lot, but it was a LOT of money for me.

i was there at the space provided for us from 2pm to 9pm. i sold like, 1 cake, and less than 10 cookies. all while loads of people were driving and walking by, and our community who have tried all of these baked goods i had been giving away during my r&d, are now all just walking past me, now that i had put a price on my baked goods.

i packed up at 9pm ready to throw away all this wasted money, these stale cookies. i was told to come back at 9am the next day and display all of it again. so i go home with all these cookies and cake.

i really was ready to throw it all away. i thought, i dont get a sale, nobody gets to eat. simple as that. if someone expects that i will give this away because i didn't get to sell it, NO. I WILL THROW IT AWAY. waste my time, and money, fine. nobody gets anything, but the real loser is me, because all these people have had my food but they only want it when it's free. how fuckin abusive is this community.

i did this because they asked, because they wanted the community to get together and know each other, but then they're only good at fucking opening their mouths and never really fuckin doing what they said they want to happen.

(the space is just a vacant lot we cleaned up)

i came back the second day and put up shop at 930am. selling day old fuckin cookies what a fucking joke.

still nobody came by. and someone still had the audacity, who has had all free tastes to all r&d i've done, to tell me to lower my prices so that people will buy them.

like. i fucking make all of this alone. i have had to make so many orders during christmas sometimes i am STILL up and packing cookies when the church bells start to toll in the early morning.

sugar and flour are at all time high, and someone has the fucking audacity to tell me to sell at a lower price? then what's the point of building a business if i have to fucking lower the price and barely make a profit just so people would buy it? how about i don't fucking sell at all and never give you any r&d ever again?

i was only able to get the stocks down to one cake and five snickerdoodles because i posted online that cookies were available, and people who regularly bought from me messaged and said they wanted the stock.

my regulars were the ones to buy from me, not the community who wanted me to be here.

then later that night they wanted me to bring cake to this small potluck christmas party they had. i had to go because many people there were good friends of my parents (most of them have already bought from me) and most of them are the people i am close to in the community. i brought cake.

there were two cakes. one from a massed produced bakery, and mine, (probably a 9x13 sheet cake or larger). THE PEOPLE WHO WALKED BY FUCKING FINISHED MY ENTIRE CAKE AND BARELY ATE THE BAKERY ONE.

LIKE. WHAT??

they kept on complimenting me and stuff, told me to sell it, and all i said was thank you because im not here to be talking back, i just wanted to enjoy myself and my friends my age were there (who also have bought my stuff).

then my dad's good friend and who is also our attorney, who has bought a lot from me said, "if you think it's so good then buy it! she was at the stall the whole time and she had lots of it on display and you didn't buy any!"

i was like, burn, you old wrinkled bats. burn.

but i mean, i get it, business is business, and i can't win all the time. but it still hurts that the community who wanted me to sell my products, didn't want to buy it when i tried to sell it to them.

in the end, it's not this community who helped me recover my losses, but my regulars. i am never selling here again, unless they come to me and request it to my face, that they want to buy my products.

we sellers, home business bakers don't need y'all to just tell us that our food good and that we need to sell it. y'all need to buy our pastries, cakes and cookies, too, when we finally put a price to our efforts because you think it's too expensive. you don't get to decide the price of our products, effort, and exhaustion.

#personal #home business #rant #blog #thoughts

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