#i dont see the fandom talk about this much. how dany was ready to kill herself and then chose life

[sunny12th]

dany was so broken in agot, physically and mentally. she was ready to kill herself to escape drogo. her childhood had been a long unfortunate series of running away from the alleged monsters that killed her family and left her exiled and desperately trying to appease her abusive brother/guardian.

but then, after she's resolved herself to suicide, she has a dream. and then, she starts to notice the beauty in the new world around her. how the dothraki grass sea swallowed her up, the new sights and sounds and smells all around. she found solace in the people, she ate with them, learned their language in a matter of months, enjoyed their food. felt freer in dothraki riding clothes than in the fine silks ilyrio had dressed her up in.

I'm still deeply touched everytime I read about dany giggling, joking around, moving forward, hugging her friends, leading, and fighting after enduring so much. it's not about her being right in everything she does or everything ending well for her. she went through hell, was already going through it before the series even started, and she kept going. she grows and fights and fucks and laughs and cries and rages. she falls and she gets right back up again.

dany is ready to end her own life. the next day, she notices how pretty the sky is. she learns a few more dothraki words everyday and starts to connect more with those around her. she tries some new foods and starts to feel more comfortable on her horse.

the dragon dream certainly did Something to dany - a scarlet and black dragon (drogon, balerion come again) baptizing her in flame. scouring her, tempering her, making her clean. after this, dany makes the quiet choice to live. there is no grand revelation, no "i want to live!" monologue. she simply starts to notice the beauty in the world she's traveling through, the loyalty and easy comradery in her companions, the tasty food and comfortable clothes. dothraki smells, horse smells. riding leather, painted vests, the gently singing bells braided through hair. dany chooses life everytime she giggles, everytime she tries a new food or convinces her friends to try one, everytime she stops to stare at a pretty sight.

she was ready to choose death and she chose life. when her entire world had narrowed to the scope of her pain, to the strength of her abusers, to the golden collar drogo had put around her neck - she still chose life. and just like that, her world expanded and she could see all that was worth living for.