#this is probably v badly written but i am exhausted and emotional

[sunny12th]

dany was so broken in agot, physically and mentally. she was ready to kill herself to escape drogo. her childhood had been a long unfortunate series of running away from the alleged monsters that killed her family and left her exiled and desperately trying to appease her abusive brother/guardian.

but then, after she's resolved herself to suicide, she has a dream. and then, she starts to notice the beauty in the new world around her. how the dothraki grass sea swallowed her up, the new sights and sounds and smells all around. she found solace in the people, she ate with them, learned their language in a matter of months, enjoyed their food. felt freer in dothraki riding clothes than in the fine silks ilyrio had dressed her up in.

I'm still deeply touched everytime I read about dany giggling, joking around, moving forward, hugging her friends, leading, and fighting after enduring so much. it's not about her being right in everything she does or everything ending well for her. she went through hell, was already going through it before the series even started, and she kept going. she grows and fights and fucks and laughs and cries and rages. she falls and she gets right back up again.

dany is ready to end her own life. the next day, she notices how pretty the sky is. she learns a few more dothraki words everyday and starts to connect more with those around her. she tries some new foods and starts to feel more comfortable on her horse.

the dragon dream certainly did Something to dany - a scarlet and black dragon (drogon, balerion come again) baptizing her in flame. scouring her, tempering her, making her clean. after this, dany makes the quiet choice to live. there is no grand revelation, no "i want to live!" monologue. she simply starts to notice the beauty in the world she's traveling through, the loyalty and easy comradery in her companions, the tasty food and comfortable clothes. dothraki smells, horse smells. riding leather, painted vests, the gently singing bells braided through hair. dany chooses life everytime she giggles, everytime she tries a new food or convinces her friends to try one, everytime she stops to stare at a pretty sight.

she was ready to choose death and she chose life. when her entire world had narrowed to the scope of her pain, to the strength of her abusers, to the golden collar drogo had put around her neck - she still chose life. and just like that, her world expanded and she could see all that was worth living for.

[volturiwolf]

The Volturi Princess - A Felix Volturi x fem!Reader Story (part 4)

A/N: I know it's been quite some time since I last updated the story, but I felt like I was losing motivation for the continuation of the story, as I don't have any feedback on how people like it. But I thought it would be unfair to the story and whoever read it so far if I abandoned it altogether - I have already written a few parts and I don't want to just leave them.

No of Words: 3400+

Mentions of: Abandonment, Abortion, Anxiety, Blood, Bruises, Coma/Comatosed State, Death Emotional Abuse, Emotional and Physical Pain, Gaslighting, Greece/Greek Language - with translation, Heartbreak, Italian Language - with translation, Manipulation, Murder, Pain, Panic Attacks, Pregnancy, Suffering, Suicide/Suicidal Thoughts, Swear Language, Throwing Up/Puking, Witches/Wizards/Witchcraft

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ “The Volturi Princess ” Tag List (reply if you want to be tagged or removed): @felixvolturisprincess @singerj2002 @mrtony-stank1 @ikissedthescarsonherskin @alecvolturiswifeforever @hshehdyhd @kpopgirlbtssvt @eunoia-kth @iilsenewman ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Y/N)’s POV:

I started screaming as I was watching my father launch an attack on Felix. He was tossed over 50 meters away, and he fell to the ground with a loud thud. I ran towards him before my father attempted anything else, and fell to my knees, capturing his face carefully between my hands.

Half of his face was deeply cracked, along with the back of his head, and - I assumed - other parts of his body as well. This was my fault. “Perdonami, amore mio. Non volevo che ti facessi male. Ti porterò via da qui.” (“Forgive me, my love. I did not want you to get hurt. I will take you away from here.”)

I looked towards Demetri and the Twins and communicated with them the only way I could now. ‘Guys, please, come over here. Take care of Felix, while I deal with my parents. My shield will cover you for your own protection.’ My voice echoed within their heads, and although they were shocked for a few seconds, they all agreed.

They ran and stood beside me, and I let my shield expand from my body, and surround the four guards. I was devastated to see Felix, my mate, my only love be in this position, but I had no time to waste. I turned to my parents.

“Ώρα να τελειώνουμε. Έκανα υπομονή μαζί σας, αλλά, απ’ ότι φαίνεται, θέλετε να είμαι μίζερη, αρκεί να είμαι μαζί σας και να σας υπηρετώ.” (“It’s time to get over (with it). I had patience with you, but, it seems that you want me to be miserable, as long as I am with you and I serve you.”)

“(Ο/Σ), το ξέρεις ότι σε αγαπάμε και νοιαζόμαστε για σένα. Θέλουμε ό,τι καλύτερο για σένα. Αν καταφέρουμε να νικήσουμε και τον Άρο στο ενδιάμεσο, ακόμα καλύτερα.” (“(Y/N), you know that we love you and we care about you. We want the best for you. If we managed to beat Aro in the meantime, even better.”)

“Μαμά, αυτό δεν καταλαβαίνετε. Δε με νοιάζει να νικήσω τον Άρο. Δε σας αναζήτησα επειδή ήθελα να εκδικηθώ τον Άρο. Σας έψαξα γιατί ήθελα να καλύψω αυτό το κενό που ένιωθα μέσα μου. Ένιωθα την απουσία σας και, όταν βρήκα την ευκαιρία και το κουράγιο, ήρθα να σας βρω!” (“Mom, that’s what you don’t understand. I don’t care about beating Aro. I didn’t look for you because I want to take my revenge on Aro. I looked for you because I wanted to mend the emptiness I felt inside. I felt your absence and, when I got the chance and (gathered) the courage, I came to find you!”)

“Ψυχούλα μου..” (“My little soul..”)

“Σταμάτα. Καταφέρατε να καταστρέψετε ό,τι καλύτερο είχα στη ζωή μου και να με απομακρύνετε από κοντά σας. Ήρθε η ώρα να τελειώνουμε με αυτό!” (“Stop. You managed to ruin the best thing I’ve had in my life and push me away from you. It’s time to get over with this!”)

I opened my arms wide and closed my eyes. I gathered up as much energy as I could possibly derive from the pain and anger I was feeling. My emotions were feeding my power and made me stronger, though I felt my heart breaking in sadness. I felt my whole body lighting up, purple and black flames burning high. I looked straight at my parents. Purple smoke came out of my hands aggressively towards my parents as I casted my spell to make them forget about me and the Volturi ever existing.

The smoke surrounded both of them and they were unable to move or resist. I saw their wide eyes, their open mouths that could not utter a single word, and suddenly they fell down. The smoke slowly started disappearing and then I let myself fall on my knees crying.

I didn’t want to force my parents to forget me. I didn’t want to leave them, but, the way things turned, the way I turned and lost myself under their influence, I had to get away, I had to save my friends and myself. At least, this way, I wouldn’t have to kill them or deal with them anymore - we would be separated as we always were, and they won’t even know about my existence or the Volturi’s. I have created some vague memories about how they came to be, but nothing too specific.

I turned to my friends, retrieving my shield back to me. They were all on their knees, surrounding Felix, and examining him. Jane turned to look at me, her eyes desperate. Felix didn’t show any sign of life. I leaned over him and kissed him slightly on his lips. I passed my hand over his entire body, gold flashes shining bright, trying to heal him. The cracked skin started healing back to its original state and it took a few seconds for Felix to open his eyes. I stroke his hair lightly, while staring at him lovingly. He smiled faintly, and my heart melted with love.

“Dove sono?” (“Where am I?”) was the first thing he asked.

“Siamo ancora in Grecia.” (“We’re still in Greece.”) I told him while still stroking his hair. It calmed both of us down.

“Possiamo tornare a casa?” (“Can we go back home?”)

“Ma certo, amore mio. Torniamo a casa.” (“But of course, my love. Let’s go back home.”) I told him without thinking of the consequences. I would do anything for Felix to be okay, even if that meant going back to Volterra.

“Grazie, anima mia.” (“Thank you, my soul.”) Felix said, closing his eyes and passing out again.

I offered to carry him back home, not only because he was my mate, but because no other vampire was physically as strong as to carry the mountain that Felix was for such a long distance. We decided to travel up north, passing through the Ottoman and the Austro-Hungarian Empires to reach Italy, as we wouldn’t be able to cross the Adriatic Sea with Felix still being unconscious.

We reached Volterra about a week later, sometime after midnight, so no humans could notice us. Felix was still unconscious and I was getting really worried. What did my father do to him? However, I didn’t have enough time to examine him as Santiago noticed us and asked us to follow him in the throne room. We entered the cold room, the atmosphere electrified with hostility.

Aro saw us and started going down the stairs. “(Y/N), my dear granddaughter! I missed you terribly. I am so glad you’re back, mio figlio (my child).” Liar.

“I’m happy to be back, Aro.” I was lying just as much as he was.

Aro stared at the unconscious Felix in my arms. “What happened? Jane?” Aro called Jane to come over, stretching out his hand to reach her. I knew that he would soon know everything about me, my parents, and anything and anyone else that the Elite Guards came across on their mission. Jane looked at me apologetically. I nodded at her to show her that I didn’t mind. I knew this was going to happen.

A few minutes later, Aro turned back to me. “I’m glad you are okay, my dear. And I’m very curious about the range of your powers and your gift. But, we both know that your mate and one of my Elite Guards has been badly wounded. So, it is safe to say that you will have to be punished for both his state and the fact that you ran away.” Aro grinned. He knew I was feeling guilty about Felix’s condition and that I would only have to accept his verdict, as I did.

“Good. Demetri, Santiago. Can you please take Felix to his room?” Both guards nodded as they took Felix out of my arms, and exited the room quickly. “My dear, I’m sorry I have to do this.” No, you’re not. “But you will have to stay in the dungeons, for as long as it’s needed as your punishment. You are not to interact with anyone else unless I have allowed it first. Of course, I’m not going to treat you as badly as other prisoners. You will have a small room and a bathroom, to...take care of your human needs, but you will not be allowed to enjoy other comforts as you previously did. That means you will remain in your room until I allow you to come out. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Aro.” I agreed with him, just because I knew I had to be punished for the way Felix was feeling now. “What about Felix?”

“Felix will remain in his room. If you want to visit him, you’ll have to ask for my permission. I will assign you a guard to stay outside of your room at all times, should you need anything. You know, (Y/N), I could have been way harsher on you. I am trying to be as lenient as I can, dear.”

“I know.” I agree with him, as I didn’t want to cause any more problems for now.

“Chelsea, Afton. Please, escort (Y/N) to her new room. Afton, you will stay with her.”

“Yes, master.” They both bowed before Aro, as we all turned, walking towards the dungeons, where I would spend my remaining days.

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The days were passing without any news about Felix. Was he awake? Was he still unconscious? I asked about him probably 10 times a day; Afton was getting tired of me. He would, of course, have to feed, so Chelsea took his position guarding me. I, myself, was only allowed human food, which I didn’t mind, but it was only to keep me weakened and restricted, which I did mind. I could barely sense Felix through our bond, and trying to track him made me feel dizzy and exhausted. I knew I could not help him from here, I had to see him.

“Chelsea? Chelsea, please, open up. I have to go see Felix.”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N), I can’t let you go see him. Aro did not approve this.” I heard Chelsea’s voice behind the door.

“Please, Chelsea, you know how mates are. I cannot not see him, not now that he’s in such a position. I want to help him, Chelsea. I don’t know what I’m going to do if anything else happens to him. Please.”

There were a few seconds of silence, which felt like hours. Chelsea opened the door and allowed me to get out of the room. “You’re going to get me in trouble, (Y/N).” I hugged her tightly and she hugged me back.

“I’m so sorry, Chelsea. If anything happens, I’ll take full responsibility. Nothing will happen to you. I promise.” Chelsea nodded but insisted she escorted me to Felix’s room.

I ran up the stairs, getting out of the dungeons, and ran towards the Elite Guards’ quarters, with Chelsea close behind me. I stood outside of Felix’s room, my heart pounding, and struggling to calm my breath. Before I could knock on the door, it opened slightly and Demetri’s head popped out. He was a bit pale and his eyes were black - he clearly hasn’t fed in days.

“(Y/N), you shouldn’t be here.” He whispered though it would still be easy for other vampires nearby to hear us. “If the masters find out you came here, without Aro’s permission, you’ll be in big trouble.”

“I don’t care, Dem. I can’t get in any more trouble than I am right now. Please, I have to see him. I have to make sure he’s okay.” Demetri did not move.

“Σε παρακαλώ, Δημήτρη. Δεν μπορώ να μείνω μακριά του και το ξέρεις. Σε παρακαλώ, άφησε με να τον δω.” (“Please, Demetri. I can’t stay away from him and you know it. Please, let me see him.”) I pleaded and pleaded. Demetri took some time, but moved aside and let me get in the room.

“Chelsea, can you stay with (Y/N)? I have to go out.” Chelsea nodded at Demetri, and he quickly left the room - I assumed he went hunting.

I turned my head towards the bed where Felix was laying, eyes closed, still unconscious. I moved towards him and stood there for a while. His face looked peaceful and calm, a calmness I’ve never seen before on him. He was always intense, or stern, or even smiling slightly a few times. But never like this, never drained out of life and energy.

I felt a few tears running down my face. Now it’s not the time for tears, (Y/N). Felix was pale, almost translucent, and covered with a bedsheet that only left his face, shoulders, and chest exposed. I hated seeing him in this state, and from the hands of my parents - they were equally responsible for his state, but that didn’t matter now.

I reached out to caress his cheek. Cold as ever, but still soft and perfect. Felix was perfect, maybe a little too perfect for me. He didn’t deserve to suffer like this; it was not his fault that my whole family was messed up. Aro promised him a better life before he turned him into a vampire, and now, he looked like he was dying.

The only indicator that he was still alive somehow was his small breaths which could go unnoticed if you didn’t stare at him for a long time. He looked weak and fragile; he would hate looking fragile, as much as I did right now. He does not deserve this. We should have been celebrating now. We indirectly admitted that we were mates - I hoped he still remembered that. We could have been together by now.

I thought about all the times we caught each other staring; all the small smiles we would exchange; every time he would defend my stupid actions when I got carried away talking back to Aro or Caius; every time he got confused when I talked to the kings or Demetri and Chelsea in Greek - Demetri offered to teach him but he had trouble learning and he gave up trying.

I thought about every time we spent time in the library, me reading essays or poems or history books, and him either keeping me company, while also ensuring my safety, or trying to read books in different languages, and failing miserably - although he was an expert speaker of many languages, he wasn’t able to read or write in those languages that well. The smallest detail, the smallest thing he would do was what made me fall in love with him, again and again. And now, I only wished I could do something, anything to help him.

And then, the realization hit me. I was human. Well, partially human, but still human. I had blood in my veins, I could blush, I could cry. My blood did not appeal to others as much as a regular human’s would, but I was Felix’s mate. Maybe my blood could help him. Without thinking twice, I bit down on my wrist.

I heard Chelsea squeaking at my action, but I continued. I bit as hard as I could, moaning in pain in the process until I saw enough blood gushing out of the bite. I lifted Felix’s head as carefully as I could and brought my bloody wrist to his mouth, forcing the blood to enter his mouth. My heart was pounding at the sight; Felix was still unconscious, my blood not helping him.

Suddenly, I saw Felix gulping. He chugged big gulps of my blood, his body coming slowly to life. His color was getting better, healthier and he took my wrist in his hands as he continued to suck on my wrist greedily. My wrist started going numb, my stomach twisted and turned, and my heartbeat weakened. I didn’t try to pull my hand away from him; it was the least I could do for him. Chelsea must have heard my weakened heart and ran towards me, trying to pull me away from Felix. I guess she didn’t make it in time, as everything around me went black before I heard Felix screaming my name.

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My head felt heavy and dizzy. I couldn’t feel the rest of my body, though I could hear my faint heart. I couldn’t even open my eyes, as if they were forced shut. Besides that, I felt nothing and everything. I felt a weight pushing me down, but I also felt as if my body didn’t belong to me anymore. I was feeling pain, but I was also feeling the ultimate relaxation. I didn’t know where I was, but I felt the familiarity of the environment. I felt powerless, but I also didn’t care at the moment.

I was in my own empty world, a place where I could finally relax. I felt at peace. The last thing I remember was Felix feeding off of me, and that made me smile. If Felix was okay and alive, I’d be happy. I would have died saving my mate, the only person I truly and unconditionally loved.

A conversation nearby interrupted my thoughts. “Demetri, Chelsea! She smiled!” Felix? “She smiled! I saw it! She’s alive!” So, I didn’t actually die?

“Felix, don’t do this to yourself. We don’t know if she’ll be okay. Let’s just wait for Jane and Alec to return with Carlisle.” Demetri sounded reserved. Carlisle? Carlisle would come here? I smiled again. Carlisle always treated me like I was his daughter, and I saw him as the caring father figure I never had.

“She smiled again! Amore mio, please open your eyes, I want to know that you are okay.” Felix, I missed you so much. I wish I could have told you how much I love you. I hated to see you unconscious. Oh, how I wish I could hug you right now. “(Y/N), please. Open your eyes.” His voice was filled with pain.

I tried to wake up, to reach out for him, but I couldn’t. The darkness was swallowing me. I couldn’t fight it. I couldn’t react, I couldn’t scream. I wanted to tell him that I was okay, but I couldn’t open my mouth to tell him that. All I could do was lay there and wait, wait for this to be over. I would either get better or worse, and I had accepted both scenarios as plausible.

“Felix, maybe you should leave, this is not good for you.” Demetri has always been protective towards Felix, although Felix was stronger, faster, sturdier than Demetri. Demetri was the most logical out of the four Elite Guards, way less sadistic than any of the Volturi, if not sadistic at all. He was the voice of reason, and the one who would always check upon every single one of us for our mental health - being a vampire for so long could easily mess up our mind and perception, and Demetri always made sure we were okay and knew there was always someone for us to talk to.

“I cannot leave her, you know. She..she sacrificed herself for me. That’s the ultimate sacrifice a mate can do for their mate. The least I can do is stay by her side. She needs me as much as I need her right now.” I do need you, Felix, but most importantly, I need you to be happy. I don’t want you to suffer because of me.

“Please, Fe, let’s go for now. The Twins and Carlisle are on their way. Carlisle will know what to do. Right now, you cannot help (Y/N) or even yourself. Come on.”

“Fine. Goodbye, amore, I’ll come and see you soon.” I felt his cold lips against mine for a brief moment, and I felt like my heart skipping a beat from the sudden wave of happiness that spread across my body.

Felix noticed it. “Her heart.” He whispered.

“I know, Fe. Don’t have high hopes though. She has been unconscious for quite some time now. No one knows if she’ll be okay.” Demetri sounded reserved. Wait, how long have I been like this? “Quite some time now”? What?

“I know, Dem. I guess we should go.”

I felt a breeze and heard the door click. I was left alone with my thoughts and my weakened body, though I now had a feeling of happiness to support me through my last moments. I could finally let go of everything and finally find peace. I wish I could tell Felix how much I loved him. I wish I could tell him that he will be okay, everything will be okay. He will live a long and happy life because he owes it to himself. And with these thoughts, I finally felt my body falling into the darkness.