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#i dont think i need to be sad anymore actually
liiionhearted · 2 years
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might implement a rule that if i get the urge to tag something w/ ‘this makes me want to actually die’ i don’t reblog it 🫠
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persy-r-bozo · 2 months
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#Reds such a unique and sad character to me#No matter what he does he is in a loop somehow. both actually and mentally.#He wants change - but he's afraid of it - But he NEEDS it - but its too scary.#He wants to be normal - But normal is boring - But its safe.#Too weird for people - too normal for freaks.#He Likes those two - But getting attached hurts. - But he truly does love them - But what if hes the issue? what is HE hurts them.#and thats why i think transport was such a big turning point. because he does hurt them#He tries his best and does what he thinks will be best.#him being alone so he issnt an “Issue”#And them being happy and healthy in a place where thier needs are met. and they dont have to be scared anymore.#but he fails and he hurts them.#His torture here is feeling helpless and whenever he tries it fails to the point he feels awful.#He has such complex and battling emotions they loop in his head over and over. too the point he cant do anything#thus making him a neutral character.#But neutral issnt a Good thing#Yes he doesnt hurt anything. But he doesnt help or comfort either#He is in a loop inside and out.#Hes drowning.#SIIIGHH sometimes it hurts understanding him /hj. (i know theres like a gigillion ways to interpret him lmao.}#im actuly kinda sad i havent seen anyone else have the idea of him being torn apart inside and anxious tho.#or that he sees himself as a big monster. maybe even due to him leaveing before (trying to help but failing again)#or that hes easy to manipulate. thus creating danger for the other two.#But im just yapping and making a comic based on my thoughts :]#(as ive been a lil mentally ill about string man lately.#dhmis#dhmis red guy#dhmis fanart#dhmis comic#dont hug me im scared
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quietwingsinthesky · 5 months
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the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?
to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.
#regret here meaning less feeling the emotion of actual regret obviously because time lords do not actually funxtion on unicorn rules. they#already get sad just fine on their own. no humanity needed for that.#but i dont know. i just dont think he brushed it off so easily. i think he did a hell of a job convincing himself he did.#and what better way then to twist his own great works and destroy the species he was working so hard to save at the end of the universe.#but what about the knowledge that he *could* be that person. that somewhere in him exists a version that wanted to save people.#a version that is painfully too much like the doctor. even. now is that part worse or better than the human part?#but if past regenerations are ghosts i think yana deserves a haunt.#anyway maybe ignore this one im rambling about nothing here#theres just. i dont know. what if you were the last of your kind and in surviving you made yourself Not Like Them in a way you’ll never#escape.#i mean doctor who is just so concerned with all these plots about hybrids and children of the tardis and clones and What Makes A Time Lord.#but they’re so obsessed with it in just. a very Lore way. is what it feels like. we get brushes of more like with jenny and how she’s#physically a time lord and the doctor denies her that inheritance. a shared suffering…#but me myself im just fascinated with the doctor and the master as the time lords who survived. but they survived Wrong#its. its. children of gallifrey that don’t belong to her anymore. you know?#i dont care if river’s got time lord dna!!! or the metacrisis is physically human!!! i dont care!!! talk to me about what it means beyond#their blood and bones!!! what’s it like to have your sense of self stripped from you like that!!!#what’s it like when so much of you is the shed skin of time lords past. but one of you was human. one of you was painfully *humiliatingly*#human!!!#enough about how much dna you need to count as a time lord. i want to know how much they can mutate until they can’t be recognized as one.#does that make sense?
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catcactusoww · 2 months
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quitting art aside from what I want to do for myself. ai has destroyed any market, and I do not want to have to be an influencer or internet personality for attention. I sincerely just want to paint whatever I want and live my life with more regular income and less stress. Thanks for the support.
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skunkg1rll · 5 months
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maybe i should just be grateful he didnt full on block me everywhere
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anaer · 2 months
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i really do hate jjk
#i just can't quit this fucking fandom#but i hate this series now#like the core narrative issues drive me insane#everyone deserved better#especially yuuji deserved better#the culling games is such a pointless??? arc???#that stalls progression of both the narrative and yuuji's character development#i know everyone's loving the new chapter but honestly i dont think its earned#i think gege skipped the best time he had to actually allow sukuna and yuuji time to breathe as characters#but its more than that#nothing about the culling games narratively leads into this finale#its a complete waste of space#everything about this feels so unearned becuase gege also didn't give anyone except like...nanami's death time to breathe#and don't get me started on nobara#gojo's death i would've been fine with if he hadn't played it as shock value#that's not even the thing that made me nope out#it was choso's death#and the immediate whiplash to todo's entrance#which was so fucking infuriating#like at least when nobara died we got time to sit with that and for yuuji to have feelings before todo came in#but here its like oh no are you sad well NOT ANYMORE look its TODO#to the complete BULLSHIT that was yutajo#i love tragedy but tragedy needs to say something#its gotta be worth it#this just feels like pointless nihilistic bullshit#and that's what im not here for#it makes me mad when gege writes good character interactions now because its like#we could've had this the whole time#you're so good at this#but you just fucking refuse to
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schrodingers-catgirl · 23 hours
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vent in tags
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petz5 · 1 year
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hello petz5 nation i am once again on the verge of tears bc of akane tendo
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g0thsoojin · 2 months
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📓🖊♣️
#i think i'll try to do this bc ...honestly i cant vent freely anymore#for many reasons#i just am too emotionally weak and vulnerable to deal with a small handful albeit ppl who are mean to me#im too sensitive and fragile for it i cant do it#so even if i've tried this several times .. a separate vent blog.. i will try again#for my own peace of mind <3#plus.. venting has actually caused me so many issues w ppl and connection i've had ://#both on twitter and tumblr#and now part of why it got fucked up with him.. the loml.. was bc he got the wrong side of me#from all my miserable vent posts#i kept posting abt how 'nobody cares abt me' and then he felt like he didnt matter to me#bc i literally kept saying such things :(((#and tbh me venting publically is not worth it at all#it wasnt the only reason but part of it was that i said too much of that constantly#and bc of everything going on w him he just believed i didnt care abt him#fuckkkkk that makes me so sad and regretful but its done#i do kinda hate myself for that tho...#i need to learn how to not feel the need to constantly 'vent'#and learn how to just be ok w having these passing thought and feelings#and only vent when i really need to not every second#losing him... wasnt worth any of it#but ig just starting to not put it on my actual blog and keep it separate is a start#im weird abt what i do and such so it might seem like im overthinking#but i just need to be clear w myself and compartamentalize#and it helpd to tell myself that ill do this and then try to do it#instead of just thinking it#anyway idk#even if its too late with him i dont wanna risk more rude things said to me i just cant take it#and venting causes problems kinda always anyway#so learning to do it less and less is good
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chiistarri · 4 months
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if you ever want to get over a boy think ab him laughing ab u to his friends
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k0kichiimagines · 2 years
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i hate writing cvs and teachers r useless at help i love them and i appreciate it but "i have no skills to put on my cv what should i put" - "aww no everyone has skills just think of something"
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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years
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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(
#mine#oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times#but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry#like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie#im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc#i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me#thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related#anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that#ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired#// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always#because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life#like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing#me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little#so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die#every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he#is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him#every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again#but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh#i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT#I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time#like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me#he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do#he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away
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lesbiangiratina · 1 year
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… there are 2 testament centric chapters id love to scan even just for my own enjoyment but the thought of taking these books apart makes me sad. Maybe if i just. Squish it down hard enough itll look okay. I just want to have new testament images
#as far as i can tell theyre both really sweet ;-;#1 is genuinely just. testament epic depression. dizzy is trying to get them to take better care of themself (they arent eating?)#+ stop isolating themself but they dont think they deserve it. saying its punishment for their sins#and well eventually johnny is like actually i think making dizzy sad is a worse sin than killing people#and testament is like. oh god oh fuck. youre right.#so they say theyll come and visit more :)#the other is more lighthearted KIND OF#testament keeps popping up in weird placs on the ship to watch over dizzy#and johnny is like. hey you can leave she doesnt need you anymore its okay#and they fuck off. and johnny is like hm maybe i shouldnt have said that i feel kinda bad. i cant stop thinking about them#and then no exaggeration hes like oh jeez its been a while since testament showed up. what if they killed themself. DONT SAY THAT?#but its okay cuz then testament shows up and they have a puppy dog. theyve taken up rescuing animals (i think) . theyre happy about it#and the last panel is them surrounded by animals. i think they filled the ship with animals.#acknowledgement that they like animals… kliff says that about them in missing link. its not in the english version tho.#or maybe he says they like nature? i dont remember exactly. but close enough animals are in nature. its okay#I DIDNT MEAN TO TYPE THAT MUCH SORRY. to the small percentage of my followers who care about testament enough to read this. hope u enjoyed#MORE STUFF HAPPENS in these chapters im summarizing. poorly. also my understanding is based on google translate lol but i get the gist#the kat goes meow
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thursdayg1rl · 10 months
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hate this DAMN household i will never excape
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halogen2 · 1 year
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yesterday morning i woke up from a nightmare shaking but bc i am visiting my boyf rn he was there and could hold me until i fell asleep again which was v nice and helpful and sweet. but then i was thinking abt it and i was like hm. let me doing research on this topic. and then i found out that apparently it is NOT normal to have bad dreams or nightmares every other night as an adult
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bunnihearted · 1 year
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