#i dont think it looks that different to my usual style. hm.

[lockandkeyhyena]

i tried,,, idk how well i succeeded,,, i cant make complicated designs for the life of me

[gin-juice-tonic]

convinced that you were somehow secretly alive in the 60s/70s. what sort of secret historical resources and/or time machines are you using to expand your knowledge of decades past

Ha ha, I dont feel I do a particularly great job, but I always find myself getting into googling sprees when I just wanted to post about something simple. I'm always checking if x thing was invented yet, or popularized yet, and I end up learning a lot of new things... So I would say the best way to expand your knowledge is to ask a question about One thing, and let the research take you around in circles to answers you didnt ask for.

I talked more under here but it got long. Im putting it under a read more and bolding key words like an ace attorney game.

As for specific resources I've looked at... hm... I've gone through a lot of the old sears catalogs. There's websites out there that have ones dating all the way back from 1940 to 2017. That can give you ideas about (some) styles of clothes and furniture popular at the time. There's also websites dedicated to explaining certain decades of american fashion. Sometimes I read old popular science magazines, mainly because google books has every single one of them archived and available to read for free...

Youtube has a lot of videos of old advertisements, those are good ways to both get into some pop culture and see societal attitudes. I've watched a lot of infomercials and employee training videos for stan in particular lol. If you have specific places you want to know about you can search for videos of them. Tourism videos work well if its a famous area, if not some people upload their home movies onto youtube as well.

If you really want to, you can read books (or skim books) that were written, or had been popular to read around the time. Or advice/guide books for specific occupations. Biographies of people of different ages are great as well to learn about what life was like more in a daily way...

This is long, so I'm just going to list some things now. Blogs dedicated to histories of certain things (music, sports, gay history, 5 string banjos, columbo, whatever!), TV shows and Movies from the time period you were interested in, old comics, redditors who want to post old photos of their favorite old hangouts, and lastly, you could also just talk to older people. I've bothered my parents asking about disco, I've bothered asking my grandma about pads in the 1950s. Most people like to reminisce or complain about things from their youth lol...

oh. And I almost forgot. I've used Cassell's Dictionary of Slang a few times. Usually just to check if a phrase that I want to use existed yet. But then in the course of my search I end up finding something I think is funny

[afuckingsystemsthoughts]

we've seen a lot of people with DID and OSDD hate being a system. most of us dont hate it per se, its more of the bad parts we hate. i, host, suffer much more mental pain from other disorders we have, not just DID- thats probably the smallest part. for us, our biggest cause of mental pain is bpd and denial of trauma/our posttraumatic disorders- so what were about to say will probably sound biased.

also a note, i only suffer the really dramatic drastic disorienting dissociation everyone with DID online complains about (and claims they have 24/7) only half the time or less. most of the dissociation i experience as host is dissociative amnesia, theres not a day i dont experience that but its usually of the past ill never remember or milder forms like "oh i did that? hm dont remember" "oh they said that? i only remember the interesting parts of the conversation and i cant even remember it verbatim", or emotional/mental detachment and emotional numbing (especially if my mood is too unstable), and staring off forgetting what to do or not knowing how to do it and having to mentally yell at myself

now, for the parts of having DID id absolutely get rid of right now and never want back.

i hate when im trying to do something, i wanna do it alone, i wanna have privacy, wtv. and boom, an alter suddenly appears out of nowhere invading the front. i dont wanna be rude to them because theyre a part of me and more than likely a trauma holder or protector i wouldnt be here without, but i want to have some privacy in my own head. have some things just to me. i am annoyed, i know they feel that. and for that, i feel guilt. for being annoyed by the presence of someone else inside my head, and the guilt gets even worse if its a little, understandably, or a trauma holder whos been through enough rejection already, or a protector who i wouldnt be alive without. i have to show common courtesy to a large group of selves inside my own brain, every second im awake. and that gets tiring. no wonder im always so mentally drained.

having to work around what alters want. this often goes hand in hand with them randomly intruding the front. ill be in the clothing aisle, just to get a simple grey shirt- and an alter will come out when they see a shirt they like. if i refuse to get it, they might feel hurt, and ill feel guilty. and if i look through a whole clothing aisle, more than one part will come out and make me feel drawn to the different clothing they like (sometimes a few alters making me feel drawn to a few different clothing styles at once) i get a headache from that and dont like how i feel pulled into many different directions by my own brain. (id experience that before i even knew what plurality was or really knew my alters or even remotely felt plural and it caused me a lot of mental pain and headaches)

feeling like a stranger to myself now because i realize how much i was a stranger to myself, i didnt even know i was abused, and i didnt even know a lot of things i did. and feeling guilt for not knowing i was a stranger to myself for most of my life. i should have known but i didnt. i was too dumb to pick up on the clues that someone inside me ran away with my body and my life. theres even small things i didnt know about myself i discovered years later. example, i didnt know i asked for a get-well card for a doll when i pretended it was sick until i discovered it about 8-10 years later. and theres big things i never knew. some of these things were people. when i was little, i was around people i should remember, i was around them enough. but when i see them again in 2019, i think its the first time even stepping foot in the place, and seeing the people. i only knew that i knew them when i was little because i was told that in 2019. i also dont remember an entire year, minus a small snapshot memory. i cant be sure if the memories i think i have of it are real. which leads me to the other part about DID i hate and if i could get rid of only one part of it, this would be it.

the dissociative amnesia (mostly of trauma) and its effects. i dont remember majority of my early childhood, and i only remember about half of my mid childhood, maybe a tad more than half. the memories i have, its like im watching an eerie, dark tinted movie of myself. i dont remember being abused in any of the memories before around 8, and very few are of me being unhappy. i think to myself, "if i was abused, id have memories of it or be unhappy." i didnt feel anything. i just... existed. no feelings, maybe an artificial happiness, but no feelings outside of that. its like i was a robot in control of my own actions. i tell myself i dont have trauma and im just holding onto the "impossible possibility" i was abused as a small child as an excuse for being this way "because i cant accept i was born broken, i dont have an excuse to be this way." then, someone comes along who explains to me what i did in the memories when i was little and throughout my entire childhood was a sign of abuse, and i feel valid and confident about myself because im reassured im not born broken scum, but then i realize that means someone violated my body and ill never know who did first, how old i was, where it first happened. and ill never know what all my body has been used for either. then ill feel disgusted with my body and want to escape it or self harm. and i live with a person who flip flops between being emotionally abusive/manipulative and being nice and shes used my dissociative amnesia against me before, used it to say things didnt happen and the memories were planted, and to say i did things i didnt do. other people used my dissociative amnesia against me before too. but the most painful part for me, is im stuck in a vicious, mentally draining cycle- feeling like my trauma isnt real and hating myself because i feel like i was born broken, just wanting to know i was abused, then i find out and i feel uncomfortable in my body, i cry, i feel alone because the only people id allow myself to seek comfort from arent around, and sometimes self harm.

for me, im fine with being a system. i wouldnt trade most of my alters or the memories weve made together since i found out i had a system and met them. they taught me what family really is. they taught me what community means. its the parts that make it disordered id gladly get rid of. sure, we want our own bodies, id like them to have their own bodies too, but im fine with them just being in my head when theyre not intrusive.

DID isnt fun, but it isnt always living hell 24/7. not for every DID system. not for us. but its still not "friends in your head" and even when you are friends with some of your alters they can still intrude on you when you want to be alone and you'll still have the distress from having DID. its not always fun but its not always hell.

[doobea]

Just read “Your A Mean One…” good god so well written I loved it so hard and I’m inspired. Do you happen to have any thoughts on writing longer fics? Do you outline? I’m drowning some in about a zillion words and thinking through how best to move forward. No prob if not. Highest fives for your work!!!!

omg hi there!!

ajsdhaskd i dont know what else to say other than THANK YOU?? ;; i had to take a two week break from that fic originally because i had trouble characterizing gojo's character for the longest time and that fic is also my first gojo fic too ;;

omg hm my writing advice when it comes to long fics is honestly dont pay attention to the word count and let your ideas go?? before tumblr i used to read all my fics on ao3 and most ao3 works i would read would contain 10k+ words a chapter haha recently i've gotten into a headspace where im like "i have to add more scenes before this happens" which might not be helpful to some but idk sometimes i end up rambling and idk if the scenes i did add were helpful in anyway haha... ;; i personally love having more silly character interactions in my works tho

usually when i write out long fics i separate the scenes by chunks and i dont write the fics in one long go, if you know what i mean? if i get stuck on the intro, i just work on a different part, and then by the end i tie them all together somehow?

i used to outline but then when it came to actually writing it ... suddenly the outline disappears and characters are off in their own world!! i just pray to Buddha that the ending kinda makes sense to the readers ;;

but again none of this wouldn't had happened if i didnt have a patient and kind beta reader hehe (i love u @popponn <3) and i dont think of myself as a good writer in any means because i look back to my earlier works and i wanna burn everything to the ground...... im still kinda experimenting with what writing style works for me bc now i focus more on character's internal thoughts and feelings but i suck at describing their surroundings and action sequences ;;;;

omg sorry this turned out to be a ramble but umm hopefully i answer your question? THANKS FOR READING THE FIC THO MWAH <3

[mischiefm4n4ged]

not within your plot maybe it can be if you want trans little sirius trying to say how he feels but not entirley sure (also sometimes wroting how you feel can help with how you feel)your amazing

Okay so this turned out to be a lot longer and therapeutic than I thought. Thank you for this ask, anon, you’re amazing!! I found a pic that I think suits the story well, it’s not mine <33

Little sirius | like moony

Sirius stood in front of the mirror, observing himself. He pulled at his long hair that he loved to style and the little pink clips he had put in earlier that day to get it out of his face. His shirt was long which made him look small and usually that would be fantastic considering his regression but something about it didn’t feel right today.

Groaning, he looks around the room for a pair of scissors, even age regression can’t help with these random dysphoric episodes. He spotted the item on their desk and he knew he wasn’t allowed to touch the scissors but this was an emergency. Sirius had to cut his hair to feel better. He listened closely in case Remus was anywhere close and when he was sure the coast was clear he ran back to the mirror.

As he lifted the scissors to a chunk of his hair, he heard Remus’ voice. “You’re very quiet pads, what’s keeping you so busy?” Footsteps followed. Sirius panicked, he had to hide the scissors but it was too late to find a good spot so he hid them behind his back.

“Hey, what are you-“ Remus pauses and seemed to notice something about Sirius. “What are you doing with those?” Remus pointed at the mirror and Sirius turned around.

“With what?” He asked as he saw nothing in the mirror.

“These, I saw them through the mirror” Remus carefully grabbed the scissors from Sirius’ hand. “You know you aren’t allowed to touch scissors”

“I’m sowy moony” sirius said in a pout and looks away in thought.

“It’s okay, I won’t punish you baby, but I need you to tell me, what were you doing with the scissors?“

“I Wan’ cut my hairs” Sirius gulped and rocked back and forth on his heels. Remus looked a little surprised but then his face settled back to “caregiver moony”.

“Why is that? You love your hair! You said that just this morning!” He said joyfully in hopes of lifting Sirius’ spirits a little.

“I dont anymore” Sirius pouted even more and crossed his arms on his chest. “And this shirt is bad” he explained, sighing as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“Wanna find a different shirt?” Remus suggested but Sirius whined.

“No! They’re all bad moony!” He fussed and pulled at his shirt some more as he turned to the mirror again. “I hate my hair!“ he huffed and pulled the clips out a little too aggressively and threw them on the floor.

“Hey! Stop that you’re hurting yourself, I’ll do it…” Remus stopped Sirius’ hands and lowered them gently, then removed the clips one by one. Sirius sniffled and he suddenly wanted to cry, he looked at Remus through the mirror with furrowed eyebrows and a big pout. “What are you feeling, baby? Why are you so bothered hm?”

Sirius whined but didn’t respond, he crossed his arms and looked at the floor to avoid eye contact. Remus pretended to be too focused on his task of removing the excessive amount of clips sirius had put in his hair. “Alright, they’re all gone now. Give me your hand…” Remus reached for Sirius’ hand, he didn’t fight it and let himself be led to their bed. Remus made him sit on the edge and gave him his comfort stuffie, foggie, before kneeling down to his level on the floor. Sirius wouldn’t make eye contact but kept his pout and bounced his legs, a sign of restlessness.

“Padfoot?” Remus said in an attempt to get anything out of him but Sirius’ only reaction was to let go of foggie, letting him touch the floor between them. This was a strange behavior from Sirius, he would never let Foggie drop like that and it only proved Remus’ suspicions of something being wrong. Sirius looked up from the floor and at Remus, he pulled at his sleeves and didn’t know what to say to describe the itch under his skin and the lump in his throat as he thought of his appearance. A broken “moony” followed by a hitched breath and a stream of tears was the only thing that he let out.

Remus sighed as if unsure of what to do and rubbed Sirius’ head and legs in comfort, “do you have an owie, little one?” He asked and Sirius shook his head.

“Will you tell moony what’s wrong then, please?”

“I don’t like my hairs” Sirius cried, his words barely decipherable. “Icky” he said and Remus took a few moments to put together the little information he had received and finally seemed to understand.

“Baby, I think I understand what you’re feeling, will you let me help you?” Remus asked and Sirius nodded, whimpering. Remus kissed the top of his head, “come here” he reached for Sirius hair and tied it in a neat bun with the hair tie he always kept around his wrist. “We can wait for big padfoot to decide if you should cut your hair okay?”

“Okay” Sirius mumbled as he sniffled away the last of his tears.

“Wanna wear my clothes?” Remus asked and although Sirius had a whole wardrobe of perfectly gender affirming clothes he still loved the comfort of being in Remus’, because it did not only make him feel at home but also most of them were so oversized on him that he wouldn’t need to address his body at all.

“Yeah, I wanna be like moony” Sirius said in such a little voice that it would break hearts. Remus didn’t say anything and brought one of his sweaters and sneaked a pair of shorts from Sirius’ closet because there is no way Remus’ would fit him.

“Close your eyes, little one” Remus instructed, only so Sirius wouldn’t need to look at his body. He began undressing the little and slowly helping him into the new clothes.

“You’re already like me, baby” Remus assured but Sirius shook his head.

“I don’t look like you, or pronsie or wormy” Sirius mumbled in a pout.

“You don’t need to look like me, or anyone, to be who you really are.” Remus said and smiled warmly at Sirius when he opened his eyes, “no matter what your body looks like, or what you’re wearing, you’re always my handsome babyboy and we can’t let meanie thoughts make us forget that, alright?”

Sirius watched Remus for a second, “mhm, I’m sowy” he whispered but Remus had him in his arms in only a second, lifting him off the floor and onto his shoulder. “Nooo moony!” Sirius giggled loudly and flapped his legs.

“You can’t get away for moony, he’s got you!” Remus laughed at how Sirius let out a small scream and he gently threw him on the bed. Immediately, Sirius tried to writhe away but Remus was on top of him before he knew it.

“Who’s my good boy? Hmm? Who is it?” Remus kissed all over Sirius’ face, softly tickling his sides and making him scream and laugh like a little kid.

“Foggie!” Sirius shouted, knowing it was not the answer Remus wanted.

“Wrong!” Remus tickled him again and attacked him with kisses again, “who is it?”

“Me!! Me!” Sirius was giggling when Remus stopped, grabbing his face and squishing it gently.

“That’s right, you are. My perfect babyboy.” He pecked Sirius lips that were squished together like a fish. Sirius tried saying something but only muffled noises came out because of Remus’ grip, making them both erupt in laughter.

“I love you” said Remus when the laughter died down a little and held Sirius’ cheeks again only to hear the funny muffled noises as Sirius tried to say it back. They both giggled until Sirius started whining to get out of Remus’ grip. Somewhere in all of that playing Sirius had regressed into a nonverbal state, so he crawled to Remus and pointed at Foggie.

“Here’s Foggie, little one” Remus handed him the stuffie and Sirius hugged it close. “Wanna go to the kitchen with moony to make you a bottle?” Remus asked and Sirius nodded as he tugged on Remus’ sleeve in eagerness.

“Alright come on, moony will play choo-choo train with you after” Remus smiled and took Sirius’ hand, who was beaming in excitement.

[unlimitedhorsepower]

i was drawing OCs i have for my tnb spinoff and the lights flickered for literally 1 second and it was enough for my computer to turn off and i lost everything.

i am so devastated right now im sharing the heroes i have most finished. theyre more like pro wrestlers in a city in this continental area and the protagonist is abt to have a middle-age crisis way too early due to her fail and cringe life (turning thirty)

vitor ive posted before but here she is

the point is that her hero persona is a guy as well (he/him and all). but its marketing so she never sought to update him. she dgaf, just like she only has one lung left due to something that happened way prior but still smokes a pack a day.

silver flux is the mr.legend of this place kinda... except vitor is kind of nice. shes like the mentor character to the protag who has no idea vitor is silver flux bc silver flux is kind of a bitch and she doesnt understand why everyone lets him do all kinds of stunts (they have to compete with each other for points actively. pro wrestling style. Usually...). the protag definitely complains about silver flux to vitor who thinks its funny and is unbothered and goes like hah hes kind of a cunt isnt he

this place is corrupted as fuck by the way, even without ouroboros (though... ouroboros is there). anyway the sponsors... one of them is ryans sexy sister who is well more than a decade older than him and they really dont consider each other siblings bc of this and dysfunctional family structure. i fabricated her in a dream. she isnt married or anything she just has the surname of their father and ryan is named after their mothers surname (they believed in equality. not bc feminism but bc they work in finances and share finances equally. this includes children).

she looks a lot like ryan but nobody thinks about ryan but its not really relevant otherwise. they have entirely different names and vibes so nobody has ever connected the dots. ryan avoids this city like the plague as well, no reason lol (he hates remembering his sister exists who has done everything right in the eyes of everyone).

she has a NEXT power too (she can make objects heavy. like gravity increased specifically for singular objects) but its way weaker than ryans, though she never told anyone and didnt get it registered bc it wasnt strong enough for her to care and especially when ryan got his power she was like hm. never gonna let anyone know i didnt win the genetics lottery, this is just my secret tool that will help me later

i have so much lore for this city too i just didnt name it yet. and yeah the companies are named after colours in kinda tnb-style lol. ask me anything<3 except dont ask me why ryan has a sexy older sister she LITERALLY appeared to me in a dream in which she bullied ryan hardcore and entire family spoke italian except ryan who can only understand but not reply.

gianni is like. my ryan lore that breaks canon the most lmfao (i most often ignore this lore when i write abt ryan bc of this) bc idk kinda major to have a family member but on the other hand they also never really interacted. shes just like. a better ryan. to make sure he doesnt forget his place and develops some abandonment insecurities early on in his life. good for him!

[thebuttsmcgee]

Me hambre

[hanazuma-inactive]

Hi, I love your writings ❤. I really enjoy reading them.

Um, can I request Oikawa Tooru with virgin!reader who is (sub, bottom); (praise kink, but doesn't know he has and kinda shy when he knows it); (has shy, soft, and really submissive personality) (3rd year student) ? Reader with Oikawa is a couple of lover, and a roommate. They usually do some cuddles in their bedroom that always started with Oikawa teasing the reader. One day, when cuddling, Oikawa asked reader if he wants to do something more intimate than cuddling and really feels good.

Sorry if that is too much. Thank you

king and his prince, (nsfw) oikawa x bottom!reader

pronouns: he/him (FEMALE ORIENTED DNI!!)

warnings: creampie, praise kink! flirty oikawa

a/n: oikawa is probs my least favorite character in haikyuu, im pretty sure i hated him at one point cuz of his personality. i later found out from many website i am unfortunately a oikawa kinnie (even tho i dont really think so but idk) explains all the self hatred lmao, again for the anon that requested it im sorry for the bad quality cuz i stayed up to write this at 6 am so undoubtedly there will be some mistakes

:(

_____

"y/n, my dear prince~ doesn't it feel good like this?"

"t-tooru…it feels good, i-it really does!" you said, messy hair and looking directly at your boyfriend.

"you look so beautiful when you enjoy it, keep up that pretty face won't you?"

oikawa tooru was too popular for your comfort at school. everyone liked him and they all had a good reason to, and that doesn't make you any different. you were shy and didn't catch a lot of attention so you were incredibly surprised that someone as popular as oikawa even wanted to talk to you.

you were smart and in fact smart enough to compete with oikawa. in fact the first time you caught his attention was when you corrected an answer, making him embarrassed in front of the class. he wanted to "settle this" only to find you harmless. later on he talked to you more and more. the contrast of personality of you two complimented each other pretty well. a cocky bastard who doesn't know how to shut up and a shy boy who likes to listen. inevitably the two of you grew closer as friends, so much to a point where you moved into the same apartment unit.

you didn't mind getting closer to oikawa, emotionally or physically with him being your crush and all so this was pretty much what you wanted, you just didn't think he would be the one to offer instead. being enclosed in a space together made oikawa get a lot more comfortable with you. random hugs here and there, maybe a little head pat, and sometimes leaning on each other's shoulders. it was practically a dream come true and you didn't think this could possibly get better until the man pulled something else out his sleeves.

one day you fell asleep watching the tv in the living room. the weather was a little chilly so falling asleep without a blanket near you wasn't the best idea. oikawa came home to find you shivering in your sleep so of course like the genius he is, he didn't decide to throw a blanket or carry you back into your bedroom and instead cuddled with you on the couch, leaving you wrapped around his arms basically unable to move when you woke up.

both of you would be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it. therefore, this whole cuddling session became a regular thing between you two. oikawa being the big spoon and you being the small one. it went on for a while until both of you realized this might not have been the most normal thing that "friends" did. at this point you're pretty sure oikawa had feelings for you, or else he wouldn't have done a lot of the things he has. after a lot of urging from his friends, he finally decided to confess to you. despite him being the playboy he is, he was quite nervous this time, due to the fact that he had to say it to someone he actually has feelings for. so just like that, the relationship between you two finally became official.

another day you guys during your normal cuddling session, oikawa proposed an interesting idea, and to be honest you saw this coming.

"babeeeee, why don't we try something more interesting this time~?" oikawa said, staring at you with his arms around you.

you knew exactly what oikawa meant, you weren't stupid, but you know that he likes it when you act all innocent so you decided to do just that.

"hm? what do you mean tooru-kun? i don't think i understand?"

"oh…baby boy i know you know what i mean alright~" just as he said that the brown haired man grabbed you in for a kiss.

your tongues started to intertwine immediately. this was very much oikawa's style, aggressive and dominant, but soft and caring when he wanted to. the kiss was generally messy but you could tell that oikawa was putting effort into this with all his tiny and intricate movements. a string of saliva connected you after he broke the kiss. leaving you panting and gasping for air while he's on the other side with a sly grin.

"you ready for the next part now?"

"t-there's more ah-!" you gasped as your boyfriend pulled down your pants at once, leaving your hard cock to bounce out.

"of course there is~ we have to tend to this guy don't we?" he said, holding your dick and positioning himself to suck your dick.

yet again attacked by oikawa's mouth you just couldn't keep it for long anymore. it's like his mouth is heaven made or something and it will continue to turn you on and make you cum without fail.

"a-ah! tooru..i'm gonna cum! mmghm!" you said, shooting all your load straight into your boyfriend's mouth, which of course he gladly swallowed right after.

"t-that's it right? i don't think i'll be able to handle more, you know…" you said out of both fear and excitement.

however all you got in response was a smirk from oikawa as he slid off his shirt to reveal his perfectly toned abs.

"almost done, pretty boy."

something about that word, made your half flaccid cock immediately rise up and become as hard as your boyfriends again.

"heh? what a strange reaction, could this mean…" oikawa leaned in closer, enough so that all the hair near your ears would stand up and said,

"my prince likes to be praised?"

you've heard about this so-called praise kink before but didn't exactly think you'd be into it this much. your face turned redder than they already are and you just wanted to cover your face and run away.

"aw, c'mon, it's cute! and if you like it-' oikawa said, spreading your legs open, exposing your asshole and angling his cock head to the entrance of it.

"i might just praise you a little more than usual, hm?"

your boyfriend was hot but this was undoubtedly the most attractive he's ever been. towered over you whispering praises in your ear as he prepared you with his fingers for something bigger that's about to come next. without a warning oikawa began to inch his way into your ass, moving and adjusting his cock to fit your tight asshole.

"you're taking me so well baby...keep doing just that alright? i know you're so good for me aren't you?" oikawa said, leaning closer at you.

at a loss for words due to how flustered you are, you could only give your boyfriend a little nod and covered your face with your arms while flashing a little red on your cheeks once again.

"y/n, my dear prince~ doesn't it feel good like this?"

"t-tooru…it feels good, i-it really does!" you said, messy hair and looking directly at your boyfriend.

"you look so beautiful when you enjoy it, keep up that pretty face won't you?"

the praises that he showered you with were too much. you were already so sensitive since it was your first time and all. now with all these lustful words turning you on, you couldn't hold it in anymore and came onto your stomach while your boyfriend continued to make slow but deep thrusts onto your prostate.

your head was still a little fuzzy but you could still feel your boyfriend jerking his hips faster and faster, ending with a long thrusts at the end which wasn't hard to assume that your boyfriend came inside you, just like how you wanted it. before passing out from bliss, a hand cupped your cheek followed with a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"you did so well baby…i know you're tired so rest now, i'll be here alright."

you couldn't be more happy, with such a loving and caring boyfriend. that being said, you fell into his arms once again and slipped into your dreams even thought they have already become reality.

[beebfreeb]

how did you make ur neocities website and how do you come up with comic ideas?

HEHEHE THIS GOT LONG <3 WHOOPSIE <3

hm hm... basically i just looked at w3schools.com HTML and CSS tutorials until i understood enough to feel confident enough to start sharing the site 😌😌😌 GKJLDFSH

plain HTML and CSS isn't really all that complicated for the most part!

they are markup and styling sheets so there's no actual programming involved but there is a lot of adjusting for CSS elements to make things look the way i want them ! i know neocities also has its own guides + links + tips and such somewhere!!

what is complicated is actually adding interacting javascript stuff which i havent learned yet 😔 i wanted the little email application to be more interactive and have functioning tabs + buttons so you could look at the other emails but i never got around 2 learning how 2 do that...

FOR THE COMING UP WITH IDEAS PART: man i dont know (JOKE MOSTLY) <3 my tip for just coming up with ideas is READ A LOT OF THINGS and THINK ABOUT THEM but in a writing sort of way. what did you like about it ? what DIDN'T you like? what made this story work or what pulled you out of it? what themes and patterns reoccur in the media that you like ?

then just let that roll around in your head + write down literally any vague idea that you have EVER somewhere to look at later.

i often see things and go haha i can do that Better (or at least, interesting to me specifically).

BASICALLY I MAKE THINGS THAT ARE INTERESTING AND ENTERTAINING TO ME SPECIFICALLY. i see a neat idea and bat it around in my head like a cat.

how would i have done this idea? how could it have gone differently? how much of an effect does the setting and worldbuilding have on this? would this idea/character/thing behave the same in a different location? and so on !

my process usually comes from me seeing an element in Media of some sort and it lives in my head forever now. then i scribble out a character design or two based around said elements and themes, then try to build the basics of a world around them.

for example, i designed daisy, salesman, and k2 first! all of dreamland was originally informed by the designs and basic personalities of those three :-D! mostly it was just "i want a character who is just a REALLY regular, sorta dick-ish guy, trying to do errands in a dream logic vaporwave hell where people try to sell them things constantly and are incapable of sincerity"

then i let myself get really invested in the world itself and started just. populating the setting with people who Live there and just try to go about their lives, before i went back to refining the actual story/plot !

that is just my process of making stories and it may not work for everyone, but that is usually how i do things <3

i make the basics of the major characters, start to detail the world they live in + background elements, then go back to working the main plot!

just, dont be afraid of being unoriginal! nothing exists in a vacuum, basically any idea has been done in Some way before. things get rearranged and reused constantly. dont be afraid of shelving ideas to look at for later, or cutting things from stories completely! feel free to rearrange and reuse your Own ideas !

also get into weirder or more obscure media. get into media that Kind Of Sucks Bad and dissect it like a bug. play free rpg maker games. watch animated childrens movies from the 80s but the ones you never watched as a kid. look at weird abandonware games! youtube web series with only 4 episodes!

let yourself Dislike Things and analyses Why you dislike it, but also look at what it does good or interesting! what made some things intriguing and what made some things fall flat?

even with things you do like a lot! what could it do better? what felt unsatisfying? why did it feel unsatisfying?

and by god. write it down <3

[inactiveanimeblog]

shikamaru x reader fic

“change” chapter one

tw : smoking, alcohol

brooo i’m honestly so sorry this took forever but dont worry next chapters won’t take as long at all, i already have them planned out. and just a heads up there will be smut in this story, not this chapter but possibly chapter three.

eh i don’t really like the way this chapter came out but i can promise better in the future ones.

warnings: for now just alcohol, weed, and swearing

shikamaru and you had been best friends for as long as you both could remember. since you both had grown up together, through your parents being close friends, you and him were inseparable. you spent most of your childhood being around each other. but once you guys hit 16 years old things started to be different.

shikamaru started to drink, smoke, get tattoos, and flunk school. it was a miricale that he even graduated high school thanks to you tutoring him and completing his homework assignments. you on the other hand were a straight A student, a teachers pet, a quiet kid who didn’t party or do anything most teenagers around you were doing. you wanted to, but you were anxious and even a little scared that you werent ‘enough’ to be friends with others who were out having good times and enjoying their teen years. you were timid, you couldn’t be outgoing to save your life, so you watched from the sidelines.

once you graduated high school you traveled to another part of japan for eleven months to find yourself, learn to break out of your shell, and to switch up your style leaning more towards looking sexier and attractive. which meant leaving shikamaru behind to say goodbye for the time being. neither of you really talked when you left, in fact, you guys didn’t talk at all. you had missed him more than anything while he was well, being him. shikamaru messed around with girls, making them feel special, having sex with them, but he never put a label on their ‘relationship’. he would end things when he would get bored and find a new pretty girl to fuck, which left all the other girls broken hearted. you envied any girl he was involved with in a sexual way, you wanted him more than anything but you never told him. hell no. you could never tell him. he would never feel the same as you feel. there was no changing the way shikamaru was. he would never love and you knew that.

you came back to konaha a couple of weeks ago, settling into your new place, a nice little apartment, decorated in a modern manor, as well as starting to make friends in town through social media, slowly starting to go to parties and going out to clubs. you changed your look, dying your hair, getting a new piercing, switching up your style to something different, something new. you felt a lot better about yourself and you wondered if shikamaru would be interested in the way you looked. you weren’t confident, but the attention you’ve been getting from others lately hasn’t gone unnoticed.

hey shikamaru, i came back to konoha a few weeks ago finally! sorry i haven’t told you yet i’ve just been busy moving into my new place and stuff. we should hangout or something, it’s been so long since we seen eachother. you sent him a text, hoping that he would text you back wanting to make plans.

yeah we can link. i’m busy tonight but if you’re free tomorrow you can come by my place around 18:30 and we can catch up. you won’t be able to stay for long though.. maybe an hour at most. just lmk when you’re on the way. it took him a little while but he answered.

okay, that’s fine i have plans a little while afterwards so i won’t be able to stay long anyways. i’ll see you tomorrow and i’ll let you know when i’m on the way.

you were so excited to see him, butterflies already forming in the pit your stomach. you planned out a fit, the way you wanted your hair, and makeup. this was the time you and shikamaru would be able to catch up and maybe even become close friends again.

unfortunately shikamaru wasn’t too excited to see you. you guys haven’t talked in a long time and he saw no point or benefit to your friendship. he’s made a lot of new friends, other friends who are interested in the things he is and he’s been busy fucking new girls all the time. he thought it was such a drag that you wanted to hangout, and truth be told he wasn’t even gonna be busy tomorrow. he just didn’t want to waste his night hanging around you.

_______________________________________________

the next day you woke up around 11:30 am, starting off with eating a light breakfast, showering, shaving, and skin care. getting ready and facetiming your friend mikasa (hehe aot name but i love her name) to talk about how excited you were for first off going to see shikamaru for a little bit and second off going to a house party later that you guys were invited to.

“i’m so nervous ‘kasa, like what if he doesn’t like the way i look? or what if he thinks i’m weird now?” you sighed, brushing your fingers through your hair, checking yourself out in the mirror.

“it’ll be fine y/n! just try your best not to show your nervous. act like he isn’t intimidating at all. you look hot, nothing to be scared of.” she responded

“hm, you think so? are you sure i should wear this? i don’t wanna look like a try hard..”

“you don’t look like a try hard just mention to him that you’re hitting a party later he’ll get why you’re in a cute ass outfit. now go to his house, it’s already 18:07, don’t keep him waiting. he said he didn’t have much time anyways.”

“alright i’ll see you later tonight then.. wish me luck, i’ll let you know what happens. bye.”

“good luck and bye bitch! don’t have too much fun!” she answered while wiggling her eyebrows and hanging up the phone.

you texted shikamaru that you were on your way, he responded shortly saying to just knock when you got there.

third person point of view

“yo kiba, i have a girl coming over today.. she’s just an old friend. she’s shy so try not to scare her off. don’t smoke out in the living room while she’s here. i don’t need her getting uncomfortable. it’ll be such a drag listening to her get upset about the smoke.”

“say less, but is she hot? if she’s just an old friend let me make a move on her.” kiba answered hopping on the couch next to shikamaru.

“no. she’s not cute and you wouldn’t want her anywa-“ shikamaru was cut off by a light knock on the apartment door.

“can you go invite her in for me?”

“do you ever get off your lazy ass? whatever fine.” kiba said while getting up off the couch and walking towards the door.

kiba opened the door and didn’t say anything, he just stared down at y/n who looked back up at him confused clearly expecting shikamaru to answer. ‘not cute?’ kiba thought. ‘is shikamaru out of his MIND??’ surely this couldn’t be the girl shikamaru was talking about, shikamaru would have to be an idiot to not find her attractive. she was dressed in a sexy yet subtle outfit. she smelt nice and her hair looked so soft, her skin was like porcelain, delicate and smooth.

“uhh i’m sorry, who are you?” kiba asked

“oh- i umm, i’m y/n nice to meet you. i’m here to see shikamaru.. i’m at the right apartment, right?” shikamaru tried to look over at y/n but he couldn’t see much with kiba standing in front of the door. he looked back down at his phone and rolled his eyes.

“well? are you gonna let her in? i just told you i had company coming over two minutes ago. how burnt out are you?”

“oh right um come in, i’m kiba, shikamaru’s roommate by the way. make yourself at home.. shikamaru’s on the couch.” kiba stuttered out scratching the back of his neck and moving out of the way so y/n could entered.

“wow shikamaru your place looks nice. is it just you and your roommate living here?” y/n said.

shikamaru looked up from his phone to see her staring around the room and his first thought was ??? what the fuck ?

“y/n?” shikamaru said. he stared at her as she sat on the other couch, his eyes focused on her appearance.

“yeah?” y/n answered smiling back at him.

“nothing i just— you just look really different since i last seen you last. what have you been up to?” he asked still eyeing her up and down, blushing slightly. he felt a little weird, he wasn’t expecting his nerdy childhood best friend to look so good.

“i’ve been busy honestly, i finally moved into my new place and i’ve been going out with friends, it feels nice to finally be back home although i do miss traveling.” friends.. she has other friends now?

“what about you? what have you been up to?” she said still smiling, she looked beautiful, like she’s grown up.. grown into a women’s body, she’d grown into her face as well, no longer looking so babyish. her outfit was nice, showing some skin leaving little to the imagination. this was nothing like her.

“nothing really, just be doing the same old things.... you made some friends when you came back to konoha?”

“yeah i did, i made a few. you should meet them one day, we usually hit parties on the weekends or we’ll chill at one of our houses, drink and smoke or whatever. you would like them.” she exclaimed nodding her head slowly.

huh? wait she even drinks and smokes now? what happened to her? and what changed her when she left.. why was she so different now?

“you drink and smoke now? wow you really are different.”

“oh please” y/n giggled a bit. “i’m still the same old y/n, i’m no different only been living my life in other ways. i’ve been enjoying it ever since i left eleven months ago, you know? i’m having fun i guess.”

“well.. i honestly never expected the day where you would find drinking and smoking fun since you always used to scold me for it.” he said, rolling his eyes playfully, a grin forming on his lips.

“and by the way do you want something to drink, like a water or anything?”

“you know i was just inexpirienced back then shikamaru” she said placing her elbow on the couch arm rest, resting her cheek on her palm and she still had a cute small smile on her face.

“and i’m good, i’ll probably be leaving not too long from now anyways.”

“you in a rush?” shikamaru questioned, slightly raising one of his brows

“hm, kind of. i’m gonna go pregame at one of my friends houses tonight and get ready for a party.”

kiba walked in and sat next to her, he gave shikamaru a pointed look before butting in their conversation and replying “a party tonight huh? you gonna give us the invite?”

“well i mean if you guys wanna go it’s gonna be at 227 Clock Street, not far from here maybe a 15 minute drive. if they ask who you know just say you know me.” she said looking back at kiba “you shouldn’t have any problems. but also, i believe shikamaru said he was busy tonight. right shikamaru?”

“yeah.. well, i do have plans later. but i could just cancel them now, not really important anyways. i guess we could go out. do you think it’ll be a problem to bring others?”

“nope it shouldn’t be a problem at all. the more the merrier, and you and your friends will be able to meet mine tonight!” she said excitedly.

shikamaru excused himself to use the bathroom as kiba continued to talk to y/n and ask her about herself. it was so very obvious that kiba wanted to take her to his room and bend her over, but y/n being hella naive couldn’t tell.

shikamaru looked in the mirror while washing his hands. his eyebrows were scowled, and his eyes were dazed. never could he imagine something like this would happen where y/n would come out of her shell. where she would party. she was as sweet as ever still, she would always be a kind person. nothing could change that, but she wasn’t as quiet as she used to be. it was nice seeing her talk more, no longer stuttering out every other word.

‘if i bring my friends tonight and the rest meet her there’s no doubt she’ll be around more often. i already know they’re gonna be all over her, i’m just curious if she’s still innocent sex wise. last time i seen her she was definitely still a virgin. maybe i should ask her myself.’

[tortilla-of-courage]

Pssst I love your art style and I was wondering if you have any tips about drawing?

ahh thank you so much!!!! as for tips, hm..

the most important, imo, is to sketch/plan your drawing. it could be a stick figure, or a more detailed sketch, but having a base of some kind before setting out to draw is like The Way to make sure your art will look the way you want it to. and you're not limited to only one sketch!

I usually do a "thumbnail" of sorts with stickmen (to know placements, basic poses, and maybe basic expressions) and then make a sketch according to that:

you can do multiple, more and more detailed as you go until you feel comfortable enough to lineart it (or just do a cleaner version of the sketch! you dont have to make lineart if you dont feel comfortable with it). here i tried to do the same pose with and without the base sketch to show the difference it can make:

when it comes to sketching, references are always your friend! dont be afraid to look up stock pictures of people doing stuff. even if it's not the exact pose you want it to be, it can help you figure out what you want.

when you're starting out, you can feel inclined to tracing/drawing over pictures (like for meme redraws and the alike), and that's fine! it's a great way to practice, to get a feel for proportions and posing - just make sure that you're not tracing over someone else's art, specially if you want to post it!

the same goes to photos - if the photographer finds out you traced over one of their pictures without permission you could get in trouble. this applies to both backgrounds, nature, and textures. if you really wanna use something like that in your art, i recommend searching for websites that explicitly allow you to use their pictures for free. you can also use google images' copyright tool (you should still try to check if the pic you get this way is free to use, though, just to make sure) (also sorry for the spanish google lol)

lastly, i think my biggest tip would be to find what you feel comfortable drawing with, no matter if it's traditional or digital art. what things - software, brushes, paper, pencils - do you feel are easier to draw with? it doesnt have to just be one "set" of tools, either, they can change depending on how you feel and what you're drawing

for example, when i just want to draw something fast without worrying too much about details or proportions and the alike, i use ms paint, using the basic pencil tool. if i want to draw something with more care, i use paint tool sai, and either a brush with the "noise" texture at like ~60% density ("to simulate the feel of drawing on paper" i tell myself), or just a completely normal default brush. if i feel like doing traditional art, I take my favorite $1 usd sketchbook and my favorite mechanical pencil, or sometimes i just straight up use crayons! test out your options to find what feels good to you

oh! and of course - don't forget to practice! filling canvases with doodles, even if they're "not good", does help! take it from someone who fills 3000x2000 px mspaint files with random stuff like, daily

[blookmallow]

rating spirit halloween’s new animatronics for 2021

or at least what’s showing as New Arrivals on the site for me. looks like we got 15 new arrivals listed here and im HYPE about them so here we go

the caretaker

pretty standard reaper character with a Gravedigger theme to it. hes... fine? nothing about this particularly stands out to me, but i dont dislike it at all. i like his gravestone. would be good for a graveyard set. i guess ill give him... 6.5/10

mr. dark

at first glance he also just looks like a standard reaper character (or voldemort. he definitely looks like voldemort now that i think about it) but it turns out he SPRINGS UP RIDICULOUSLY TALL LIKE A CURSED WACKY INFLATABLE TUBE MAN and the spring motion in the video is actually really fucking fast so, while this isn’t a lot different from other jumpscare animatronics, i gotta give him credit bc i guarantee this would have scared the fuck outta me in person. according to the site he’s almost 9 feet tall at his full height 

i expected him to jump out and scream but i did not expect. That. i feel like if you put him up on a stage or something to make him loom over people even more he’d be very menacing indeed. would also be really good if you put him behind something so you don’t see him until he's suddenly There

i like him, 8/10 springy spook man 

click for more 

grave grabber

pretty much just a zombie but he’s cute i like him. i like the green eyes. i dont know what it is about him in motion but the video makes him kind of endearing to me for some reason and i dont know why. 6/10

ophelia

at first for some reason i thought the monster’s name was ophelia but i think that’s supposed to be the name of the victim? i think the idea here is “girl haunted by a Nightmare” but the fact that the monster itself is so small and doesn’t actually have a body for the most part makes this unintentionally hilarious to me 

like. it. it’s so small. it’s just a little shoulder demon. it’s so cute 

psst. hey do we have any more cheetos

anyway i like how the girl’s eyes move back and forth but the sounds she makes are uncomfortable and she just looks so. stiff and solid and there doesn’t seem to be any movement at all other than her eyes and the monster peeking out so it’s just kind of weird to look at. it’s an interesting concept but the execution is just strange and unintentionally hilarious. 7/10 bc i still think its really funny 

someone should buy this and mod it into chrona and ragnarok 

harriet hustle

WE DID IT KIDS WE FINALLY GOT A FEMALE CLOWN ANIMATRONIC im so happy i could cry i wish my store had her set up i want to meet her  

i love how they have her hanging upside down like this, it makes it so much more visually interesting than the figures that just kinda stand there looking spooky, even though she doesn’t really Do much (she just swings and her head moves around a little, just laughs, doesn’t have spoken lines) 

i love her outfit i love her hair shes SO cute i love this little murder gremlin i love her i love her 

im still waiting on spirit to give us a female clown figure that isn’t “creepy little girl” (ive commented before on how their only female figures tend to be either the Old Hag or the Creepy Little Girl and not a lot else) but i absolutely love this all the same 20/10

this one is fun too because we also have: 

henry hustle

according to the description he’s actually harriet’s dad!! we have an evil clown father and daughter duo here and im LIVING for it

i dont think ive ever seen spirit do characters that are related to each other like this that’s so cute,

apparently his wife/harriet’s mother left them and ran off with the ringmaster. he’s a single father clown trying to raise his evil daughter clown and i support him wholeheartedly

there doesn’t seem to be any more animatronics on this storyline, we don’t have the mother here and the only ringmaster animatronic they have is the rotten ringmaster who was released previously, but i doubt he’s the homewrecker ringmaster in question. he Could Be. imagine if your wife left you for That. we dont even know if henry’s wife was also a clown or not. spirit halloween clown lore going on here

anyway i absolutely LOVE this clown, he does something INCREDIBLY STARTLING AND UNEXPECTED which i dont want to spoil for you. go watch his video and see what he does its great 

my absolute favorite type of halloween animatronic is the “does something completely unexpected” category and this one is ALSO a clown and a GOOD clown at that

and he’s got this great vintage clown style i really like, i love scary clowns like this that actually look like they could believably be a real guy and not just some kind of mutant Clown Monster 

and hes got cards!! card suit motif!!! i love it i love him this is a great clown 20/10 for him too

w. raith 

we have this one at my local store and listen to me. im completely obsessed with this ghost

it’s pretty much just a ghost but it’s SUCH A GOOD ghost. especially in this photo here with proper spooky lighting and everything. i would absolutely LOVE to see this in a haunt attraction, it looks SO good even in bright store lighting. i feel like this under the right lights and in the right environment could look SO fuckign cool  

the shredded rag look!!! the ethereal glow!! the weird jellyfishy movement!!! the classic wooOoO oO o o ooo noises!! this may perhaps be the ideal ghost. it is without flaw. a perfect specimen. i fuckign LOVE this ghost i want it so badly but i do not have the space or the money for this thing 15/10 w. raith my beloved. my true love. maybe one day 

buzzsaw

at first i was slightly disappointed to see that this guy didn’t have an actual name, but then in the description apparently his name is Bill “Buzzsaw” Jackson and his backstory is he tried to be a wrestler but it didnt go very well so he grafted weapons in place of his hands. i guess. you know, to be better at wrestling. i dont really understand it and i definitely would not have gone with “disgraced former wrestler” as the concept for this guy  

but anyway we have mr jackson at my store right now, he’s Big, i like him. he doesn’t really move very fast and doesn’t jump at you, he just kinda swings his saw around. for some reason he just seems friendly to me and i dont know why. makes me think of like an uncle dressed up for halloween rather than an actual murderer guy. i dont know i cant explain it but i like him hes my friend 8/10

wacky mole

this guy’s also at my store this year, i didn’t know his name was wacky mole fsdgjsdg

he’s listed as a new arrival, but i thought i remembered seeing him before, and the description says he’s a returning fan favorite, so. i guess this is a re-release 

anyway pretty standard Scary Monster Clown. his teeth look like candy corn. i like it but i think they should just Be candy corn. i like his colorscheme and his silly giant buttons. light up eyes are always a nice touch. he doesnt really stand out but hes overall a pretty good clown. 7/10

grim

good ol’ classic skeleton. he’s pretty nicely modeled though and i highly recommend watching the video for this guy because he moves REALLY well for a spirit animatronic, he’s got a way wider range of movement than most of them do and his head moves really nicely. one of the benefits of a skeleton animatronic is you don’t have to deal with lip movement, so his jaw movements match with his lines a lot more realistically. i like the animated glowing eyes too, it really gives him a lot of personality. he’s really interesting to watch. like, it’s just a skeleton, but it’s a really really good skeleton, so, 8/10 

BEETLEJUICE!!

i love love love franchise character animatronics and spirit has so much great beetlejuice stuff this seems well suited to them but looking at it............. hm. hm

he just looks so. stiff and his face comes across like, deer caught in the headlights to me. it Does Not look very natural but it looks slightly better in motion (he just swivels from side to side and says a few phrases but it somehow looks less. shellshocked when he’s moving) 

maybe not the greatest execution but maybe he looks better in person and im still hype to see him so 8/10 regardless 

night stalker

we have this guy at my store too, im still not really sure what’s going on with his arms (did he just rip loose from them and leave them behind? did someone do this to him? i dont know) but i love a good spooky scarecrow. love his Wiggles. hes a pretty good boy. 6.5/10

here we have another pennywise, it pretty much just pops out at you, but it’s still pretty good. i like the full size one they had before better, but this one’s slightly cheaper and would be easier to integrate into a haunted house attraction since he comes with a built in set piece. it looks good but doesn’t do much. 7.5/10 i guess 

GHOSTFACE!!!!

FUCK YES I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

please. please spirit halloween set him up in my store so i can see him

anyway hes got kind of the same issue beetlejuice has where the figure just. looks kind of stiff, and he looks more like a spooky ghost decoration than like, A Person. he doesnt seem to have any lines or anything either, he just kinda pops out. but then again i guess whenever we see ghostface in person in the movies he doesn’t usually talk anyway. i dont really know how id make this better but it seems a little underwhelming somehow. still hype to see it though. 7/10 i guess 

now if we could just get a jack torrance and a bela lugosi dracula id be content 

i would LOVE to see Red from Us but i doubt they’d do one. my other horror beloved is norman bates but i know if they made one of him it’d just be him in a dress waving a knife around (not that i wouldn’t still be hype to see him, but, y’know) (anyway. tangent. moving on) 

mr. howle 

it’s. a werewolf. he howls. that’s....... about it 

it’s a very nice looking werewolf, it’s a well designed figure and definitely looks very imposing, but it’s... just a werewolf. there’s not really anything particularly interesting or creative here. its a perfectly good werewolf. i dont have anything to say about this. 6.5/10 

i also just am not a werewolf person so maybe someone out there who has a greater appreciation for werewolves might like him more 

[sm-baby]

You dont have to answer this, but im always unsure of my art. Im not expecting people to love it but i cant help but think im just not doing enough or if im just too sloppy. I put effort into it but im not sure if its enough.. what would you do in this situation?

I've been over my insecurities for art for a while now. But on the business side of things, it's more important for you to get your point across. Your stories, your concepts. I'm usually so caught up on that to the point where I don't even notice if my art is worthy or not. I just end up having so much fun that the next thing I know my art has improved without me noticing.

Of course it's also cool to learn and improve, but what matters is how I see my art. I feel like my art is worthy to me. I guess this is what they mean when they say "Just have fun!".

(And believe me! I've known an artist who isn't the best I've known, but their concepts captivate me to the point where I fangirl when I see something from them.

But what you're asking of me seems to be different. you're talking about art alone, not entirely the concepts.

hm...Try...

Looking back at old art and doodles (I do it sometimes and I get a sort of nostalgic euphoria to it)

draw guilty pleasures

shape your art style on something that you're comfy with (Doesnt necessarily have to be "GOOD AMAZING ANATOMY WOOOWW" it can be anything. Like shape language, color language,etc.)

Experiment!!

But I'm not the best at giving advice on this kind of topic. anyone else who has advice, feel free to reblog and add your own opinion on the topic! ^^

[heyitsyn]

,,,,OK Kurat

Soulmate!Bokuto

a/n: when bokuto refuses to fix his roots and let the gray dye grow out and it slightly irritates you

colorblind soulmate where you lose your colors and only gain them back when your other half starts to have feelings for you

requests are open!!

so, leggo?

ever since you turned 16, you’ve literally gone colorblind

like you were perfectly happy seeing the colors of the world

from daichi’s red sweater

to hinata’s orange hair

you were ROBBED of the colors of the world

when you woke up that morning, you knew you would get your soulmate sign soon and you were sure it would happen while you were in class as it would start the exact time you were born 16 years ago

so there you were, happily eating with nishi and tanaka at the roof

‘hey, y/n-chan, look at this manga i found!’

you look up at noya and you almost choked on your rice ball when you couldn’t see his blonde streak anymore

it was like the moment you blinked, it was gone

he must’ve noticed your surprised look because noya touched the front floof since you were staring right at it

tanaka had his mouth opened and patted your back when you coughed

‘ah, it happened now?’

then you just start bawling

‘i cANt sEE yOuR hAiR anYmoRE!! aNd hiNATa’s hAiR! aND tHE oRANgE uniFOrMS!’

they understand it was a touchy subject for you since you were expecting something cute like noya’s thought sharing sign or tanaka’s taste sharing sign

but NO!!!

‘it’s okay y/n-chan. you’ll meet them soon and you’ll get your colors back’

from then on, all you’ve done is research all you can about soulmate signs and how they worked

yours happens to be a rarer one and you groaned bc of course it would happen to YOU

it states that usually, the moment you lock eyes with your soulmate, you’d get your lost sense back

but you wouldnt know when it would exactly happen and be like your uncle who is nearly 40 and still cant smell anything

whats worse, there were even cases where you wouldnt get them back in one sight but gain them when they start to have romantic feelings for you

you really do hope you’d get the easier 

being a part-time manager, you often helped the vbc if you were free from your other clubs so you sometimes help kiyoko with the kids

entering the gym, you frowned when you saw hinata and the gray tone of his hair

everything was gray but colors that are light like yellow or bright orange, were lighter gray while darker ones were dark gray or black

seems like tanaka and noya told the team what happened because daichi went up to you and ruffled your hair before saying it’ll be okay

‘give it time! you will find them!’

yacchi, a manager-in-training, enthusiastically told you about her ideas for the poster and gave you her rough draft, explaining the little details

but you were out of it as you just roamed your eyes over the gray-colored paper

thus causing her to freak out

‘OH MY GOD! I”M SO SORRY Y/N-SAN! I FORGOT ABOUT IT!! I’M SO SORRY!’

(yacchi is just a little precious bun, please protec her :’))

but you ruffled her hair and put on a smile

‘don’t sweat it, yacchi’

after that whole thing about announcement of the tokyo training camp and the hinata/kageyama idiot squad

you guys were in the bus, getting ready for Tokyo

it’s also been weeks since you lost it so you were still new but you were starting to get used to it

ofc you still had mistakes like their different colored practice jerseys and who was in what team or wearing different colored socks

but you were slowly adapting

it was a few hours of a drive so everyone was static to get out of the cramp bus and use the bathroom and stretch their legs

you took your time and put the others trash into a plastic bag bc youre just a great manager like that

getting out of the bus, you heard a horrendous and terrifying laugh and saw the nekoma captain hunching over in laughter

‘my god. at least his face makes up for it’

you got a text from hinata and kageyama saying that they were going to take their exams now and you sent them a little encouraging blurb

the guy from nekoma with the mohawk gawked at the 3 managers and you remembered him having that blonde hair dye

when you and the rest entered their gym, all you saw were balls flying everywhere and lots of people

your eyes scanned for at least someone to make eye contact with you because this gym has a lot of people in it and there could be a possibility they were in here

like 0.000003% probably but still a chance

from the managers to the players, not one reactivated the colors

‘hm,,, i think my soulmate is in here’

noya’s little comment made you glare at him in envy and he grinned with a peace sign

you noticed that boy kenma with his haircut and there was someone sitting near him that made you turn to the others

‘okay, either i just have terrible memory but is that a new guy?’

suga wondered the same thing and you flinched at the kid’s harsh stare at you all

there was a light gray tone to his hair and eyes so you were curious what color they were

‘his legs look a little long. i think he’s taller than most of these guys’

asahi said which made you give him a look

‘listen, as long as we got tsukki-kun, we’re okay’

the first match was against some powerhouse called fukurodani and they had a few interesting players

by interesting, you meant looks wise

that one guy looked freaking pretty with his sharp eyes while the other guy, who you assumed to be the captain, had round eyes and spiked hair

you were pretty sure that he had different colored hair due to the mix of black and light tones

AND THE WAY IT WAS STYLED THO

its like he got electrocuted and his hair just stayed the same

you were too busy looking at the 2 teams that you completely missed karasuno’s defeat and just saw them doing flying receives

the others gathered to the side and the next game was against fukurodani and nekoma

from hearing the names being said, that pretty guy was akashi or aggghasshi and the owl looking dude was bokuto-san or bokutosang or something bokuto bc youre not exactly sure

and then he be flying

‘he REALLY flying!’ 

you exclaim and tbh what can you expect from being one of the top 5 aces in the country

then the ball straight flew towards your own player and you and yamagucci screamed for his name

everyone flinched when the ball hit his hand and you ran over to check

‘ouch’

you hear that loud voice of his on top of kei’s hiss and you growled

‘HEY HEY HEY’

he didnt even apologize and if it wasnt for tanaka and daichi holding you back, you were about to scream into the guys ear for damaging your player’s hand since he needed it to block properly

‘LET ME GO! WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS INJUR-’

suga smiled and raised a hand apologetically your shouts caught the attention of others

the more games karasuno played, the more they lost

you went to fill up their water bottles and was mumbling to yourself, blaming that freak haired guy for tsukki’s pained blocks

‘didnt even apologize. how dare he hurt my boy’

bokuto was going for a drink when he heard your mumbles by the water fountain

he noticed you as the karasuno manager and poked you in the shoulder

‘ah! youre the manager!’

cue you looking to glare at him since you could recognize that voice anywhere

‘and you are?’

taken aback with your tone, he grinned

‘bokuto. bokuto koutarou’

‘ah’

then you went back to filling up the bottles

he fiddled with his towel before poking you again

‘um,,, i want to apologize for earlier. sorry about that spike’

you stopped and you nodded

‘i appreciate the apology, bokuto-san. but you should say it to him’

bo guessed that you were kinda their mother hen and you looked after the players of your team

‘are you,,, a third year?’

closing the lid of the last bottle, you placed it on the basket

‘second’

his eyes widened before shouting

‘im your senpai!’

you jumped at the sudden volume of his voice and awkwardly smiled

‘ah. okay, bokuto-san’

his eyes widened before patting your shoulder gently

‘drop the -san! i prefer being called senpai!’

does this guy have a senpai kink or something

but there was probably nothing wrong with calling him senpai right?

‘okay, bokuto-senpai’

you were lowkey kinda iffy since you dont really call anyone senpai, everyone was -san to you

bo laughed loudly and ruffled your hair

‘WAH!!!!!! MY LITTLE KOUHAI!!!’

‘bokuto-san!’

your head looked up and you saw the pretty guy walking towards you

he bowed in front of you in both greeting and apology

‘sorry about him. he gets a little excited sometimes. im akaashi keiji by the way’

you waved it off and smiled gently

‘nice to meet you, akaashi-san. and dont worry, i have two people like him in my team’

hinata and noya

‘come on. the next game is about to start’

he tugged bokuto’s arm and bo waved at you before walking away

‘see ya!’

but stopped

‘ah! i didnt get your name!’

‘y/n. l/n y/n’

‘see ya later y/n!’

when you came back, the boys were still doing flying and you glanced at your watch, knowing that your boys should be coming soon

you and yacchi were visibly listening to the other players talking about your team and kiyoko gave you both a look to settle down

‘hold it in, girls’

the sea of different tones of gray were currently making you dizzy with so many things happening at ones and you completely missed the door opening, revealing tanaka’s sister

noya’s excited shout made you turn and you waved excitedly

you’ve met her once when you went over to help tutor her poor brother and noya who practically lives at their house

everyone stopped what they were doing and saw the two boys huffing by the door

you heard kuroo’s comment but you were too excited to see them come back in one piece

‘ah, so those are the legendary first years’

hm, if only you knew why they were late

bo saw you with wide eyes and excitedly bouncing at the sidelines as karasuno started to play

‘what are you looking at bokuto-san?’

akaashi asked

bo thought you were interesting the moment he heard you angrily mumble about him and he thought your pouting face was cute

‘i wonder what her soulmate mark is’

akaashi knew about his soulmate sign since he received a very frantic phone call that sunday afternoon of bokuto not being able to see the color of his apple anymore

‘she probably doesnt have it yet’

akaashi’s answer made his brows furrow

‘she’s a second year so shes probably 16 already’

‘why would it matter to you anyways?’

yea, why did it matter?

‘just general curiosity. shes quite fiesty. i like her. i want to be friends’

akaashi sighs and pats his back

‘i support you, bokuto-san’

shoot this might as well be a bokuaka

he saw you run to the two first years and took their bags for them, ruffling their hair each

even though you’re only like a some months older than hinata, you still treat him like a babie

‘coach left some buns from earlier so you can eat that before you play. oh! i also got you your milk, kags!’

bo literally could feel your happiness radiating and he saw your eyes

too bad he couldn’t see the color of them

although the boys team was finally complete, they still lost quite a lot of sets

and they were trying so hard and you were just cheering on the sidelines w yacchi and kiyoko

you kept running back and forth from the drinking fountain since the boys kept drinking so much water

and bo just finds you there again

for the second time today

:0

‘oh? back again, y/n-chan?’

you could recognized that gruffy voice anywhere

you turned and gave him a tight smile

‘ah. hello bokuto-san’

he pouted and nudged you with a finger to your shoulder

‘senpai! call me senpai!’

you were pretty sure he was 18 yet he still threw a tantrum

what kinda-

‘okay okay. sorry, bokuto-senpai’

then like a switch his pouts became grins and you got dizzy with the sudden mood switch

‘youre such a diligent manager, y/n-chan. you should transfer to our school and be one of ours instead!’

then you remember meeting the 2 managers they had

‘ah, you already have 2 so i think you’re covered’

bo whined at that

‘but karasuno also has 2 without you!’

tbh you shouldve been uncomfortable in this situation bc here you have a grown man whining

but you found his pout endearing and his eyes were loony-looking

‘not to hurt your feelings, bokuto-senpai, but we just met and i don’t know you all that well’

‘then you know the solution to that, don’t you?’

you just stared at him

‘lets get to know each other! lets be friends! lets be close!’

you couldnt say anything else since you were kinda in a pickle here so you just nodded

‘um, okay’

‘bokuto-san!’

that voice made you perk up and you raised a hand

‘akaashi-san!’

bo saw your smile and he pouted, jealous that you didnt give that smile when you saw him

‘ah, l/n-san.’

you looked at bo and his eyes grew even bigger and you resisted the urge to pinch his cheeks with how they puffed out with his pout

woah wait huh

why did you just think of that

akaashi had to bring back bo to the gym for their match but bo refused to walk

‘no! not until y/n-chan wants to be my friend!’

what are you

5?

but you nodded, placing a hand around his bicep

you froze, trying to contain the shock of how S T R O N G they felt

ohmygad

‘l-lets get to know each other later, bokuto-sa-senpai’

you hurriedly corrected yourself and breathed a sigh of relief when he didnt notice

a big smile got to his face and he pointed at you

‘ill win this for you y/n-chan!’

you sweatdropped bc wow this manz is winning a game for you

no-for your friendship

he excitedly ran back down the hallway and disappeared with a faint ‘hey hey hey!’

you and akaashi shared a look and he apologized

‘im sorry if he made you uncomfortable’

‘nah nah, its okay’

‘and thanks for uplifting him. he was in a mood when he left bc we lost a set but now he’s energized thanks to you’

a,,, mood?

‘is he,,, i dont know,,,, bipolar?’

akaashi stood for a second before shrugging

‘i guess you could say that. the team tries to uplift him bc if hes in a mood he messes up’

a sound of recognition left your lips before you nodded

‘ah okay’

‘well, i guess im seeing you later then, l/n-san?’

‘oh, please. call me y/n. we’re the same age!’

but he gave you a mysterious smile

‘i dont think bokuto-san would like that’

so the remaining of the time there, bo was practically stuck to you as he followed you everywhere

babie calls it ‘friendship bonding’

when yall were leaving, he was pouting so hard and you gave in to your urges

;)

you pinched his cheeks

‘until next time, bo-senpai’

blew a fuse right then and there

bO-sENPai

yall remained in contact and you even went up to visit him and just hang out

you were lowkey catching feelings

like when he sent you that mirror picture of him and kuroo being sassy in a department store and your heart started beating really really fast

then your palms started sweating as you remembered the feeling of his warm hands on yours when he led you through the busy sidewalk of tokyo

‘siri, am i having a stroke?’

but you were like ‘nuh-uh, must remain pure for my soulmate’

however

if you have those feelings already and it’s towards your soulmate, that gave bo his sight of colors

just sitting there w his team eating yakisoba bun then he looked at akaashi and saw his friend’s blue eyes again

can you tell im a bokuaka simp

in another life flashbacks

n e ways

he was so happy and ecstatic and was about to call you but akaashi was like, ‘wait, i think she might be your soulmate’

the entire team was just like, ‘what’

and bo just sitting there, ‘omg what if’

akaashi, 

grandmaster plan creator

tells bokuto to hold off from telling you until the next time yall see each other which is in the training camp

for story’s sake, training camp finally rolls around

you cannot stop squirming in your seat bc ya finally get to see bo again after so long

kuroo greets yall at the front and hes familiar w you since you hung out w the tokyo squad

‘you have a surprise little chibi’

you were just like, ‘,,,,ok kurat’

meanwhi;e,,

bo was so antsy and he was just like, ‘yey! i get to see her again!’

ngl, bo thought you were really pretty and cute and he thinks he has a crush on you but not like head-over-heels like you were

literally cannot stand still and the team was tired of having to keep him from running so akaashi just let him go

‘but dont run her over, bokuto-san’

he sonic bolts over

nYOOM

he finally sees that tangerine hinata and was searching for your hair color and when he sees you laughing at kuroo’s face, his eyes widened

his heart beat started beating really really fast and everything in his brain and all the words he wanted to say died down

he never really saw your face with colors but he just stares in awe at your beautiful skin color, breathtaking eyes, silky hair, and those plump lips

sweat started to gather at his palms and his feet started moving on its own until he just scoops you in his arms, lifting you off the ground in the process

w you, there was a silence

‘your eyes,,,,, theyre beautiful’

bo just grins at the crack of your voice and tears just wells up in your eyes w a smile

‘bo!’ 

you shouted and you wrapped your legs around his waist while he burrows his head in your neck

‘you’re so beautiful. oh my god, you’re so beautiful’

omg what i would do for bo to say that to me

obvs, the others knew what was happening

dai and suga were already planning on the talk

kuroo just recording the whole thing

‘im falling in love with you. i want to fall in love with you over and over again until i die. i want to feel like this forever. can i?’

just forgets about everyone and being in your own bubble and your own world as bokuto just professes his love for you

‘stupid question, koutaro!’

you giggled and he finally allowed you to stand on your own two feet

‘let me love you for eternity’

cue waterworks from noya and tanaka and konoha

‘but baby, we need to touch up your roots, though.’

‘we got forever, soulmate’

sorry if this was trash

[sckyie]

wish we never met | tsukishima kei

word count: 1.1k

genre: angst if you dont look too close?

pronouns used: female insert

a/n: this is from my wattpad acc lol so im posting it here; im still writing star dust, it comes out this monday so if anyone wants to be on the taglist pls msg me !

✎...

"God you could be such a needy brat sometimes!"

"Is that what you think of me? A brat?"

"Yes! Y/n, you're an annoying brat who is always needy for attention! I don't get why we're even dating!"

"Argh! You're such an asshole!"

"Oh yea? What are you gonna do leave?"

"Yea Kei! I'm leaving!"

"God I wish we never met!"

With that, you slammed the door behind you with those words echoing in your ears. You loved him, you did but wishing you never met? That's what stung. You found yourself at the empty park. You sat alone by the water fountain, trying to stop the tears. You turned and stared at the glistening water streaming in the fountain with all the coins at the bottom.

"If you throw a coin, your wish will come true," You whispered to yourself. You remembered your change from earlier and pulled out a coin. "Make his wish come true."

The night came to an end with Tsukishima sleeping, not knowing his actions from the night before had created a ripple in his life.

The morning came around and something felt different to him. You weren't next to him, your scent was gone, and something was off in his room. Nonetheless, he got up early and began to get dressed for early practice. As Tsukishima pulls open his drawers, he noticed that your clothes weren't in there like normal. He shrugged it off as if he was imagining things but then noticed the photo by his bed wasn't the same. It was a family photo instead of your first anniversary.

Tsukishima believed he was just imagining things and left to go to school. Usually in the morning, he'd pass by your house to say good morning from your window. He stood at your doorstep to find, well nothing. Your window was shut and the cars in your driveway were missing. "Tsk, she's still mad at me?" He mumbled to himself. He went on his way to school and found the third years already changing in the club room.

"Tsukki, you're early?" Suga pointed out. "You didn't walk with Yamaguchi today?"

"No," Tsukishima said bluntly. He walked over to where he usually puts his bag and noticed that the keychain on it was missing. It was a little heart with your name on it, it was gone from the zipper.

While Tsukishima was in his thoughts, Daichi decided to ask him a question to get him out of his head. "Hey Tsukishima, why haven't you gotten a girlfriend yet?" He asks.

"Huh?" Tsukishima whipped his head towards the captain. He does have a girlfriend, you.

"You don't seem to like anyone and I've seen you turn down multiple girls," Daichi says.

"You're delusional," Tsukishima scoffed and he began to dress for practice.

After practice he noticed how off things were, your locker in the front was replaced with another name. The posters you made for art club weren't up. Then once class rolled around, your seat was empty. What took the cake, was your name wasn't called during role call. Tsukishima knew something was wrong. Why did you suddenly go missing?

Then during lunch, Tsukishima had lunch with Yamaguchi and some of the players. "I have a question," Tsukishima says. "Do any of you know a L/n Y/n?"

"Hm? Where'd you get that name?" Tanaka asked.

"Is she cute?" Nishinoya munched on his snacks. "She sounds cute."

"No? Tsukki who is she?" Yamaguchi says.

"No one, I guess," He says.

"Oh! Did you hear? The Seijoh manager is a cute first year!" Tanaka exclaimed. "Apparently many girls applied to be a manager but she's related to the coach."

"Ooo! Maybe we could talk to her later today!" Nishinoya smiled.

After school, there was a practice match against Aoba Johsai. As the boys set up the volleyball net, the doors were opened slowly. You pushed the door open with the cooler of cold waters behind you. Everyone stopped and turned their attention to you. "Hello everyone," You bowed. "I'm L/n Y/n, I'm the Seijoh manager. I was wondering if you could show me where I could set up my teams things?"

Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and the second years perked  up once hearing your voice. "Tsukki is that who you meant?" Yamaguchi whispered. The tall boy was silent. For once in his life he was speechless.

You were different. He watched as the third years helped you find your place in the gym. Your hair was shorter and styled differently. You had a different necklace on, not the one he gave you. The only thing the same was your bracelet. The same flower bracelet your grandmother gave you.

Tsukishima watched you exit the gym and impulsively decided to follow after you. "Y/n!" He called out. You turned around and was confused.

"Can I help you? Did I forget something?" You worried.

"You don't know who I am?" Tsukishima scoffed.

"Am I supposed to?" You tilted your head.

"I know who you are," He chuckled. "Call me crazy but I know alot about you."

"Like what?"

"You like drawing hearts on your papers when you don't listen to the teacher, your favorite color is f/c, and you love f/food," He says.

"Pft, anyone would know that," You turned around to leave.

"You have a mole on the side of your hip, you always say goodnight to your grandmother by sitting in front of her photo," He started. "You have a baby photo of yourself where you had a rice pot on you with chocolate smeared over your face."

"Who are you?" You whipped around to look at him. "Oh I know you. You used to tease my friend in middle school! Listen, I don't know how you know all those things about me but stay away from me jerk!"

You turned and began walking towards your team. Tsukishima took notice of how close Iwaizumi was to you. How he was standing close to you, how his hand rested on your lower back, how you smiled around him. That was how you smiled when you were around him, not Iwaizumi.

The entire practice match, Tsukishima was distracted by you. How could you not know him? You were his world. You were head over heels for him. Why did you suddenly forget him?

Once everything was over, everyone went home except Tsukishima. He went to the fountain in the park. Only to realize what his last words were to you. "I wish we never met," He whispered as tears fell down his face.

✎...

[booksandseventeen]

School Project with Tsuki

☾ ☽Tsuki X Reader! ☾ ☽

The teacher stood with her hands on her hips, looking every student in the eye, “This next project is worth 50% of your grade.”

The classroom groaned. 

“You will be partnered up and during these last 6 weeks of school, you must go to 6 places neither of you have ever been before. Search the wonders of Miyagi and write a paragraph for each place you visit.” The teacher claps her hands together, “Consider this a great experience you can enjoy outside of school, as long as the places you visit was informational, I dont care where you go.” 

Tsuki sighed, his fingers twitching to put on his headphones and drone out the rest of this dreadful project. Partnered project were his least favorite part about school, but at least he could just tag along while Tadashi did the work, he could practically feel his friend vibrating with excitement behind him.

“Oh and before I forget, your partner will be the person that sits to the left of you~!” 

Tsuki blinked before glancing to the left. 

Empty. Of course his partner wasn’t even at school today. He raked his brain to try and think who sat to the left of him but he kept drawing a blank.

“Tsukishima, your partner isn’t here today but I trust that you can bring her the needed materials and tell her about the project, hm?” The teacher walked to his desk and set down a binder filled with information.

He pushed his glasses up, “Tch, what a burden.”

☾ ☽

“tell your partner I said hi!” Tadashi waved goodbye as they went their own ways, Tadashi to go home and Tsuki to visit your house, a torn out piece of paper with your address written on it. The paper fluttered in the wind and he sighed before continuing on.

The gate creaked when he opened it, weeds sprouted from the ground and a gnome broken in half welcomed him as he stepped on the overgrown stepping stones that led to your home. 

He knocked on the door and took a wary step back, unsure of who would answer the door. 

“COME IN!” The scream made him jump and he looked behind him almost as if the yell was meant for someone else.

He narrowed his eyes, felt his fingers tighten on the binder. All he wanted to do was drop off the stupid papers and hope his partner was fine with doing the project by themselves. 

Slowly, he turned the doorknob and stepped inside. The lights blinded him, a tv was playing on a random channel, a radio station played some sort of upbeat tune and he heard the thumping of feet above his head.

“up here!” the voice came from above. 

He took one more glance around before taking the steps two at a time, the hallway was just as lit as the living room, every door he passed had the lights on and he finally stopped behind the only closed door, music playing from a speaker somewhere inside.

The door opened, “Mom, did you-” she stopped suddenly. 

Tsuki stared down at the girl in front of him, she wore an oversized sweatshirt and joggers. Her hair was piled up on top of her hair. She leaned against the door frame, “You’re not mom.”

“Do I look like your mom?” he deadpanned

“Well, you got the condescending look down.” she smirked, “You’re in my class, what are you doing here?” she crossed her arms and looked him up and down. 

“Here.” He pushed the binder into her hands, “We’re partners for a project in school. It’s all in there, due in 6 weeks.” He turned to leave. 

He got as far as halfway down the stairs when the shock wore off and she thundered down after him.

“wait wait wait! You come to my house, tell me that we are partners for a project, and you expect me to do it all my myself?” She slides down the banister until she stops in front of him, making him come up short. 

“what else needs to be explained, shorty?” he looked down his nose at her. 

“You’re gonna pull your weight with this project, jolley green giant.” 

his frown deepened. “I don’t do partner projects.” 

She smiled up at him, “let me get my jacket.”

“what for?” he called after her.

“Because we might as well start now! You can borrow my sisters bike!”

☾ ☽ Week 1

It was on the tip of the tongue. Questions upon questions, but he bit his tongue, he refused to talk first. Instead the words just tumbled over and over again in his head. 

She biked beside him, a green jacket thrown over her hoodie and her bag thrown across her body. The full moon was the only light they had and the summer wind threw back her hair and he glanced at her to find that her eyes were closed. She was the most peaceful when her eyes were closed. 

He couldn’t take it anymore, the silence.

“Where are we going? You know we have school tomorrow.” his voice seemed unnaturally loud.

she looked over at him, the moon causing her eyes to seem brighter than usual “you’ll see.” 

Finally, they came to an overlook and parked their bike under a sakura tree. 

The ground crunched beneath their feet as they came to a railing. Tsuki stopped short and she reached up to close his mouth with her fingertip. 

It was a 360º view of Sanriku, the rhododendrons flowers blanketed the side of the mountain for as far as the eye could see, the sweet smell of flowers overwhelmed him.

she leaned with her elbows on the railing. “You know whats cool? These flowers are actually a blushing pink color. But at night, under the moon, they almost look violet.” she looked up at him. 

“some things look different in the dark.”

☾ ☽ Week 2

He woke up to the sound of his phone ringing, without thinking he blindly searched for it and answered, before he even brought it to his ear he could hear the notes of music.

“hey! you’re awake, skyscraper?”

“What the hell do you want, hobbit?” he grumbled and blinked blearily at his alarm clock, “it’s almost 2 am.” 

“Well I have another idea for our next location! But we gotta do it now, we can get in for free under the cover of night.” 

he could just imagine her. Walking up and down her room, lights on and music playing, twirling her hair around her finger, probably looking for a hoodie.

“I’ll take your silence as a yes! I’ll come pick you up after I find a hoodie.....”

☾ ☽

“Are you kidding?” he deadpanned.

“What? it’s perfect! Now help me push this thing.” she bent down and grabbed the end of the kayak, moving it only a couple of inches before she gave him a pointed look.

Sighing, he bent down and helped her move the kayak until it was even with the dock and she could jump in. 

“Come on! This is a two person thing.” 

“Why did I let you talk me into this?”

the moon reflected her profile into the still water, a fish flicked the surface and her face rippled. He took a step into the kayak.

She smiled at him and tossed him a paddle.

They glided through the water, him paddling on the right and she on the left. He sat behind her, his legs splayed on either side of her so he could fit. 

Again, the silence bothered him.

“Do you ever sleep?” he asked suddenly.

If he wasn’t paying so much attention to her he would have noticed her back stiffen. 

“why do you think I dont?” 

He shrugged but realized she probably couldn’t see that. “Oh I don’t know, maybe because you always seem to be up in the middle of the night, I’ve never seen your house without any lights on.”

She stops paddling but he keeps going. He can’t see her face, and for once, he wishes she would turn around.

“I...just don’t like to sleep.”

“who doesn’t like to sleep?”

she picks up the paddle again, disrupting the surface one stroke at a time. “someone who has too many dreams.” 

☾ ☽ Week 3

It was a Saturday night and he hadn’t heard from her all week. He turned off his computer and looked at his phone. This was peak time that she should be calling him, but what if she didn’t call? Then they would be a week behind the project. He paced his room, his phone clenched in his hand. He clicked on the buttons angrily.

No answer. He tossed his phone on the bed and laid down. Ten minutes later he was pacing again. He cursed and grabbed his phone and jacket. Silently making his way out of his house.

☾ ☽

*tap, tap tap*

She awoke with a start, her lights momentarily blinding her before he realized where she was at. She leaned out of her window and stared down at Tsuki, his arm cocked back to throw another rock.

“what are you doing?” she half whispered half yelled.

“Tch, idiot, I don’t want to be behind on the project so grab your hoodie and come on.” he walked away, leaving her to stare at him open mouthed. 

“where are we going?” she asked him as they grabbed their bikes and walked down the road. 

“you didn’t answer your phone.” he said, ignoring her question. 

“I had it on mute, hoping to catch a few Z’s.”

Immediately he felt bad, he had woken her up. But then he remembered that she had also woken him up before as well. “i’m sorry.” he heard himself say anyway.

She shook her head, her hair piled on top of her head, “don’t be. I’m thankful you woke me up, I was just starting to dream.” 

the rest of the ride was in silence until he finally brought them to their next location.

“a park.” she said with a smile, getting off her bike the rest of the way.

Before them lay a green field, a playground that was surrounded by strange, different styles of twisting metals and granite rocks chiseled to reveal a figure.

“A statue park.” he corrected, “artists all over Miyagi enter their statues and art in hopes of getting picks to have it displayed here.” 

Together they walked through the swaying grass, the silver of moon casting the statues faces into grimaces and sneers. She shook her head in wonder as they walked among the stones and metal.

“I like this one!” she said, pointing at a woman with a ring of drums around her that acted like a skirt. Tsuki watched as she played an offbeat tune on the statue. He laughed.

“look over there!” she suddenly pointed and grabbed his hand, running towards an exhibit. He looked down at their joined fingers, his large palm easily overwhelming her small one. He tightened his fingers. 

A large, plush cushion lay suspended in the air by a steel tractor type, a gossamer fabric hung over the top. The two of them climbed into it. “I think i’m supposed to unlatch something.” he heard her say, but he was too busy looking at the fabric laid over top. 

faint, dark lines were carefully drawn through the fabric, making it so that he could see the constellations in the sky. There was a loud click and he was suddenly thrown on his back as the large cushion suddenly swung in the air.

“WOOHOO!” he looked over to see her wobbling on her legs, the air rushing to meet her face.

“this is so cool!” she gasped, and slowly made her way over to him as the cushion swayed like a pendulum. She laid down beside him, her head on the his shoulder and his arm immediately went around her. 

“Im afraid to fall asleep.” she whispered after they had been laying down together for while, he had honestly thought she had fallen asleep.

“go ahead.” he grunted, he felt her shake his head.

“I can’t...I might dream.”

“what do you dream about?”

“...someone.”

he tightened his hold on her. “It’s just a dream, if it looks like your dreaming, i’ll wake you up.” he promised. his lips brushed against her hair, not hard enough for her to feel it, but close enough for him to close his eyes and inhale her scent.

And that’s how the workers of the park found them the next day, curled into one another, the cushion still swinging, the morning light not bothering either of them.

☾ ☽ 1 day later

He stood in front of her house, the flowers he had picked up on the way there dropped from his hand. 

A red, ugly foreclosure sign was the only thing he could see. 

She was gone. 

☾ ☽

Part 2