#i dont think ive ever used this tag before. to be honest i hate their shipname too but unlike spyjh i dont have the influence to change it

[orphiclovers]

I bet Yoo Joonghyuk's love language is eye contact

SOOO TRUE ANON. i'm a huge fan of YJH canonically sending intense love eyes at the objects of his affection. Unfortunately they’re too intense and people mistake the love vibes for murder vibes. (KDJ…)

take a shot everytime YJH soulfully gazes at KDJ (if you want to die of alcohol poisoning) and also 41 at SP- where 41 has the handicap of only appearing in a couple of scenes, he makes up in the sheer frequency of his yearning looks.

there's also a way to make this angsty joongdok i feel. something YJH constantly feeling the gaze of his sponsor, something DKOS watching over him his entire life during the 0th round, something the world exists because the oldest dream is looking at the world… hmmm

[kiisuuumii]

@kiisuuumii's writerly questionnaire !

thank you @lead-to-code for tagging (ily kara <33)

i'd love to see yall's answers (only if you'd like to share of course !) @noahsbong @yearning-rambles @thesorcererpoet

about me:

1. when did you first start writing?

i was maybe between seven and nine ? to be honest, i can't really remember when it was, but i remember the first few things i wrote were story quizzes on a (now gone </3) website called quizilla (it was naruto rp....................)

2. are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

not really, now that i actually think about it ! ive always been the type of writer that only liked writing angst, and even outside of writing (fan) fiction (which tbh i dont do very much of anymore), so much of my poetry either comes from heavy emotion or features it so sdghjksd

3. is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

theres one mutual, actually, who i actually wished i could write more like. in a very self-deprecating way, but ive since become very comfortable, and maybe even happy (!), with my style of writing ! so, no, i'm not really looking to emulate anyone in particular, and no one's ever made a comparison between my work and someone else's so no to that one too :0

4. can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (room, coffee shop, desk, etc)

i usually write on my phone, in the notes app or in my drafts here ! and ill usually only write in a (head) space where i can really think, undisturbed, for at least 30-45 mins. so i'll usually be out in my backyard under one of my calamansi trees ! though, lately, ive been occasionally writing at my desk on desktop tumblr :>

5. what's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

fall in love with someone

once i start thinking about how everything around me is alive, i start remembering that i, too, am apart of nature—a lucky enough set of sequenced mutations, to make me—just a eating, breathing, shitting animal. how lucky this set of mutations is to take it all in, the emeralds in the trees, and the beat of a chipmunk's heart, how scared we all are.

that or love

6. did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

people, no, but places, yes. i grew up for most of my childhood in the desert, and i have /always/ hated summers, because i'm kinda heat sensitive, and i sweat easily, and i hate it i hate i hate it djhks

but, a year ago, i moved back home, and, honestly, since being back home, ive come to appreciate the desert a bit more sgkjds i used to think they were ugly and uninteresting, but there's so much more there if you look a bit harder imo

7. are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

honestly !! i think there are plenty obvious ones, but i really wanna talk about /the lack of/ sexual themes in my work !! i wanna write more sexetry or whatever, but it feels really embarrassing to sdghks i really like writing them too, but again !! it just feels embarrassing !! ;w;

my characters:

1. would you please tell me about your current favourite character? (current wip, post wip, never used, etc)

not to copy of kara dskjfs but i love my first (and my current) d&d chara !! her name is maeve umerie, and shes a drow wild magic sorcerer / (planned artillerist) artificer !! shes so packed full of trauma and self-harming behaviors and addictions that i dont even know where to start <33 (i promise i love her i would actually be so devastated if she died before i could give her a proper happy ending </3)

2. which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

i have this fantasy novel thought that ive floated in my head since maybe september-october of last year, and, in it, i have a character named levin hel, and AUGH hes just a sweetie :^( hes the son of a blacksmith-gunsmith duo who know a thing or two about magic, and is the apprentice to the son of the wizard who saved his life (who's name is nox, and he's an asshole ! but also i love him so much ;v;)

i need go go back to all my notes and stuff on it, bc i invested A LOT of time worldbuilding for it, but yea levin's a very kindhearted person, very much wanting to be like nox's father :'''^) </3

3. which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

i would absolutely hate to meet maeve mother. she's horribly self-serving and emotionally manipulative. she rules the house with an iron fist, and anything less than the best is worthless. she uses everything at her disposal to get what she wants, family or not.

4. tell me about the process of coming up with one, all, or any of your characters.

im ngl most if not all of my characters are just bits and pieces of me and my wants in different aus >_> .................................

5. do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

family and/or religious trauma mhm yep

6. how do you picture them? (as real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc)

for my fantasy wip, i imagine imaginary artwork, but for maeve, i have pieces i've drawn and pieces i've commissioned of her !! id love to someday get pieces of her family and other major characters in her past commissioned :>

my writing:

1. what's your reason for writing?

i will say that it's changed over the years. as a kid, and up until college, i've wanted to always be a story-teller. but, lately, i dont really have a reason for writing, other than to satisfy the thing that lives inside me that wants to write :^)

2. is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particular motivating coming from your readers?

knowing other people's reactions, getting to hear how something made them feel emotionally, or physically, or if there was a particular thought or memory that came to mind. i love knowing what people see, what my work makes people see, if anything.

that or if theres something, a word choice, or a line, that you thought was clever or struck you !!! i always love knowing people's thoughts !!!

3. how do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (for example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who "gets" the human condition; as a talented world builder, as a role model, etc)

i want to be thought of just as another person, honestly. someone who had very human emotions, and did the only thing she knew how to do.

4. what do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

uhhhhh im ngl i think this is also my greatest weakness but i have a tedium to my world-building, in that i need history-book-level details of my worlds or i will die (like i drew my own map. i drew a fucking map of an entire contiment)

5. what have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

yk,,,,, no ones given me a whole lot of specifics so im not sure,,,,,

6. how do you feel about your own writing? (answer in whatever way you interpret this question)

i said it before, but im pretty content at the moment with my poetry. though with prose, i think i could probably improve a bit sdgjksg

7. if you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

uh yeah !!!! i write and record voice memos in my journal fully knowing no one will ever read it or listen back right now as it is so !!!!

8. when you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it's a mix of the two, which holds most influence?

i gotta be honest, writing is a selfish act for me. i write because i want to, in ways that tickle my fancy dgkjds

it really is almost like an instinct for me

[leclercenjoyer]

tagged by my beloved @ayceeofspades thank u 💖

tagging @wolfiemcwolferson @duquesademiel @river-ocean @gaslybottoms

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11 (10 under my username and 1 on anon)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

30,363! my goal for the year was to hit 20k total so ive already smashed that

3. What fandoms do you write for?

f1 babyyyyy

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

something borrowed (my first fic which im genuinely quite proud of)

tip of the tongue (literally just pwp)

treat with care (girl brainrot)

no poor substitute (my a/b/o unwellness which was. shockingly well received)

helping hand (esteban hand propaganda)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i WANT TO but i always feel so awkward and i never know what to say 😭 i dont know how to adequately express my emotions so i just end up. never getting around to it and i feel BAD ABOUT IT

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

muscle memory... its like. my singular angsty fic. the ending is nice and hopeful right up until i shatter it with a hammer but it Had to be done. its simply how it is.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i think all the other ones!! possibly no poor substitute or treat with care because they both end on an "oh this is a New Relationship now" while something borrowed and tip of the tongue are both more like. we were already hooking up but i guess its serious now.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no and if i ever did i would cry forever

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

almost exclusively jdkjhdkjhs it is my Favored Terrain. i feel like my smut is. emotional and grounded? or at least thats what i hope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, not that im aware!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

non! but i would be delighted if anyone did.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i hope to one day!!!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

i have been thinking about pierresteban literally non-stop for the past 14 calendar months i am so fucking sorry to everyone who knows me

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my singular wip on ao3 is on anon and... i dont know if i'll ever finish it but i hope i will at some point. and as for unpublished wips... i have a lot. i dont know if ill ever get around to finishing most of them.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i have consulted the gang and i have been told that i am good at tying the physical and emotional together (which is something i do Deliberately try to do as much as i can) and that i am very meticulous with what words i choose to use to carry a mood

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

DIALOGUE GOOD GOD. every single bit of dialogue ive ever written has been like pulling teeth. the thing is i dont know how to talk like a human person and i dont know how human people talk so it is my worst nightmare. one of my eternal wips is one i started and got like 3k words into before realizing that the dialogue would have to do the heavy lifting for the rest of the fic and then i was like "oh god damn it im an idiot arent i". also sentence structure that isnt subject-verb-object. but im kind of leaning into it tbh.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

my honest to be honest opinion is just. write the dialogue in english and if you NEED to specify what language the character is speaking just be like "he says in [language]" UNLESS the pov character doesnt understand what theyre saying. literally simple as that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

f1 baby!!! this is literally the first fandom that has broken through the barrier in my brain thats kept me from writing fic my entire life. not even amc's the terror 2018 could do that.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

honestly? something borrowed. it was the first fic i ever completed literally in my life and i have such a soft spot for it and people were so UNBELIEVABLY nice to me about it!!!!

[daddy-daichis]

Yesterday the very beautiful and talented @fuwari-s tagged me in this game and since that post is already really long i figured id make a new one lol  (Also thank you for tagging me, it made me so happy)

The Game: Tag your 2D lovers + the other trend I saw yesterday and wanted to do which is Would you actually date them IRL. So ill put that under the cut because it is a lot.

HQ: Atsumu, Daichi, Issei, Bokuto, Hinata, and Kyoutani

BNHA: Bakugou, Denki, and Hawks

JJK: Sukuna and Mei Mei

Others: Kagami from KNB, Levi and Jean from AOT, and Mikoto Suoh from K

So if you want to know if i would date them irl that is below the cut lol

As for tagging... if you want to do it :) @eijirosriot @bokutosnumberonefan @hinosreis @tetsus-kitten @sugawarakoushihoe @mynameisjackattack and anyone else who wants to do one or both of these challenges.

Alright so would i date these men (+ mei mei) in real life. Short answer is yes lmao. Long answer, with some headcanons that may or may not  venture into 18+ category but only slightly. all aged up to be my age which is 26.

Atsumu - PLEASE, YES

we would be so chaotic together but he would also be really loving. As long as he can still prioritize me in a relationship, not over volleyball, just as much, then we will be golden. We would have such a good time and i feel like we would have a lot of fun bickering, which i really enjoy. Play fighting as a form of foreplay, if you will lmao. We’d probs be friends in HS and then get together after he starts playing for MSBY and he is secured in his position (and himself tbh). I just love this cocky bastard. he also gives me switch vibes and as a switch, i love that for me.

Daichi - YES

All i need is to be wrapped in his arms on the daily and i would be happy. Man would know how to take care of me and that is all. Love of my life, too good for this world. Wholesome husband. He would be able to manage my crazy side and chill me out when i get to anxious. I would want to be bratty just to get him to drop his good guy routine sometimes and I feel like he would like that.

Issei - YES

Funeral home employee can get it. Matsukawa Horse cock Issei can whisk me off my feet and straight into bed. we would have a lot of fun picking on oikawa together (out of love of course) but we would balance each other out a lot. His darker humor would go well against my lighter humor. Also I feel like our level of hotness is pretty comparable... like we aren't the prettiest in the friend group but still good (if that makes sense)

Bokuto - YES

Big ball of sunshine to light up my day, he would literally fuck the sad out of me every day I just know it. Like atsumu, as long as I am a priority to him itll work out. We also kind of have the same sad moods so I feel like we could either both just curl up on the couch together and watch a movie or bring the other out of a funk easily. I love this giant himbo so much.

Hinata - most likely yes

Pretty much the same reasons as bokuto but I feel like I would get drained of his energy faster, so he would def have to cuddle me more. For everyone else so far I can imagine being high school sweethearts, but with hinata i think he wouldnt settle down until later, or even start dating so it would probably be a lot of pining and watching him from the side lines for a while, which would be really hard tbh. but the way he would smile at me after a match would make it worth it so...

 Kyoutani - Hard YES

I love a boy with anger issues, what can i say... (cough couch my irl husband with anger issues couch couch) I would love to be his weak spot and the one person he would go to to help him not feel angry anymore. I think that my fun personality would help him to unbox himself a bit. I just want to give him cuddles and a place to feel accepted. id also i KNOW hes a monster in bed... 

Bakugou - FUCKING HARD YES, PLEASE

if he was real the things i would do to and for him... A lot like kyoutani i would want to give him a place where hes accepted, and a place where he is unconditionally loved. I would be able to handle his misguided anger and calm him down and give him space. I headcanon that hes very cuddly in private to just his S/O which is something that i love. I love his lil smirk and would do anything to get him to smirk at me. As long as he is able to set me as a priority it would work out, but that would be what he struggles with so it would be a thing we would have to talk about. But I also feel that once you say something about it he would check in with you because of course he has to be the best bf/husband. I feel like I could talk for hours about him so Ill just wrap it up by saying that I love me a passionate man who would probs be a lil possessive, and I would use that to my advantage. 

Denki - GOD YES

I really do think that denki and I are soulmates. we are both the perfect blend of funny, pervy, while still being soft. I feel like there would be a lot of mutual pining at first but he would end up the golden retriever gamer boy to my alt bisexual and thats just the perfect pairing. We would pull so much shit and then get away with it because thats just us being us. I see us being scolded by bakugou a lot for the stupid shit we would pull. Also late night drives in his shitty tuned car to taco bell while we sing alt rock songs from the 2010s. also the switch vibes are immaculate.

 Hawks - Probably

So it would honestly depend a lot on what version of hawks.. him in the hero commission is a no, because he wouldnt be able to be honest with me about a lot of stuff. Like his name, or when i can see him again, and that would give me too much anxiety. When hes free of them and is actually allowed to be himself I think it could work then. I know that he of course wants to still be the best hero, so he would have the same problems as bakugou with finding a balance, but if he wants to i think he could. He would also have a lot of trauma from his relationship with his parents and the commission so I dont know if he would be able to give his love away as freely as he wants so we could get therapy together. I love that for us. But i would happily wake up next to this beautiful birb man if he would have me.  

Sukuna - A hesitant yes

so.. the anger issues that ive mentioned before.. yes. I would like sukuna. I would be his lil bride and sit on his lap on his throne as long as he didnt kill my loved ones or my cats lmao. I would also be ok with being his and itadoris gf while hes living in itadoris head. being with him is just asking for an unhappy ending tho, whether its a life always on the run, or someones trying to kill me, or someones trying to kill him, or hes trying to kill someone. But yes i would like to be with him but that would mean sacrificing a lot. 

Mei Mei - god yessssss..

Please Mei Mei step on me and make me ur lil house wife. I see us living in a pent house apartment with the most breathtaking view of the Tokyo skyline. I would want for nothing and she could take me where ever she wanted and i would just follow her around with heart eyes.

 Kagami - YES

my basketball husband! i love him and would love to be loved by him. Id follow him wherever. He would take care of me and is just so dreamy.. also i guess the mild anger issues.. but hes really not that bad. He would just be such a good s/o. He would cook us nice dinners, wed have a few cats, and he would carry me around a lot because hes so strong. While were on the topic of strong... his stamina... everyone on this list probably has good if not great stamina... but kagami just hits different..... have you seen him in the zone? have you seen his thighs? his sex zone has got to be incredible. 

 Levi - Yes

I was going to say it depends, but really it doesn't... if were in the aot universe and hes my captain and I fall in love with him u can bet ur ass im gonna try and get with him because i could die at anytime. if its some au where he is here in our universe and somehow we meet... like of course im gonna be in love with him. our height difference isnt too bad, im only like an inch or 2 taller than him. I think we would both have a great time together. I would make him laugh, and he would help me clean, because lord knows I hate cleaning. BUT i hate cleaning because its something that I always have to do alone, and I feel like levi would have us be cleaning together like he makes the scouts do. and hes just so sexy... 

Jean - big yes

This beautiful handsome man... idk what to even say about him. Hes strong, funny, handsome, cocky, but very much full of love. would love to run away from the world with him. I feel like if he was in love with me before *tries not to give away spoilers* the marco incident (?) that after he would become very clingy and attached and im ok with that. There would have to be lots of cuddles and reassurances and i just want to see him happy and not at war, with both real life people and himself... id give him the best kisses and he would become addicted to them. 

Mikoto - No? But maybe...

I feel like we could be.. but if you watched the show then you know.. But i would love to be Homra’s princess TBH. No one would mess with me or they would have to face the wrath of my big fire boyfriend and his whole ass gang. But on the other hand I feel like Mikoto wouldnt allow himself to fall in love, so it would probably be a hush hush topic. everyone knows the boss and I are in an entanglement, but they cant talk about it. Then Anna starts asking questions to Mikoto and he has to come clean to her, which would be so cute. He tells her is a secret but she doesn't care lmao. in conclusion, I would want to, but I dont think he would let me.... Maybe friends with benefits tho....

............................................................................................

ok if you read all this im officially in love with you. Please take my heart. 

This took me like 2 hours to do because I love thinking about it so much. if you have any thoughts about any of this hop into my dms or comment on this because id love to hear them (especially if you think i belong with one more than the others lmao). 

[shhh-no-ones-home]

unexpected chris motionless x reader

+++++++++ Request from @tiffanyamber1995 : "Chris motionless one shot where he comes home from a long tour and is tired of being single and he meets y/n."

this is not my best work but i really didnt know what else to write so sorry for that but i hope you like it anyway, its a little different but i think it works.

Song: friday im in love by the cure

tag list: @cynic-spirit​ @alilpunkrock @svintsandghosts @theoneandonlykymberlee @thisplace-ishaunted @musicsexandpizza69 +++++++++

I looked intently over the shelf in front of me. I was in desperate need of groceries but was also hungry so going to the store was probably a bad idea. Right now was prime time for impulse buys but I couldn't decide which cookies I wanted, Oreos or nutter butters. I heard a sigh from behind me, shaking me from my thoughts and realizing someone was waiting for me. I made a quick minute decision, stepping to the side and reaching for the Oreos. Just as I was grabbing for them someone elses hand came crashing into mine, finally making me look up at the stranger.

"Sorry."

We both said at the same time, making me smile bashfully at him. I pulled my hand away to scratch the back of my neck.

"Uh, go ahead I think I'm still deciding."

He smiled at me as he took the pack and tucked it under his arm, shifting the case of vanilla coke in his other hand.

"Can't decide between regular or double stuff?"

He asked, joking a little bit. I let out a quick laugh at his comment.

"If only it where that easy. No my heart says Oreos but my brain says nutter butter."

He nodded in understanding, glancing quickly at what I already had in my cart. It wasn't much but it was almost period week so I was stocking up on a few favorites.

"Hey, why not both?"

I snorted a bit.

"I definitely don't think I need both."

He shrugged, side nodding.

"If you're worried about not being able to eat them all yourself I could gladly offer my services."

He said with a smile. Okay, so he was cute and clever.

"If I get both can I take you up on that offer?"

He laughed a little bit.

"If you'd like."

i smiled bashfully at him.

"Both it is then."

I said grabbing a pack of each and placing them in my cart. he had a wide smile on his face before reaching into his pocket.

"Here, wanna give me your number? I'll text you."

I nodded taking his phone from him and texting myself.

"And what am I saving you as kind sir?"

He let out a nervous laugh.

"Oh right, I'm Chris. And you are, y/n?"

He said looking down as his text history. I nodded.

"That I am, and it's nice to meet you Chris."

I said holding my hand out for him to shake.

"Likewise."

°°°°°°°°°

When the day finally came I was super nervous. Chris and I had been chatting for almost a week before deciding on a day for him to come over for a "date." Neither of us wanted to do anything crazy so we agreed on an at home picnic and movie type thing. It was nice in theory but it also meant that I had to speed clean my house and get food, now knowing he was vegan, or at the very least vegetarian. i wiped my hands on the towel before hearing a knock at my door. i took in a deep breath as i walked to the door and opened it. in front of me was chris, smiling widely and holding a small bouquet of flowers.

"what a nice surprise."

i said, taking them as he handed them over.

"i know you said you werent really a fan of fancy things but i thought itd be a nice gesture. after all you did insist i didnt bring anything but myself."

i laughed a little bit as i let him in, id always been the host type and hated making people do stuff i could do myself. in this case it was cooking and entertaining.

"its much appreciated, these are beautiful."

"well i did think of you when i was picking them out."

his words made me blush as i lead us both into the kitchen, getting a vase down and filling it with water.

"do you mind if i arrange these before we get started with the movie?"

he sat at one of the bar stools on the other side of the counter.

"be my guest."

i unwrapped the rubber band on them and slid them out of the plastic.

"i got everything out so if you wanna start eating youre more than welcome."

i said picking up a strawberry and popping it into my mouth, sending him a reassuring smile as i cut the stems of the flowers to fit in the vase.

"you really went above and beyond."

he said looking over what i had made. i wouldnt necessarily say it was a lot but i didnt really know what he liked so i got options.

"well if theres one thing i am its an overachiever."

i joked nervously and he sent me a smile, picking up one of the oreos and biting into it.

"theres nothing wrong with that. i could probably say the same of myself but im more of a perfectionist than an overachiever. everything always has to be just the way i want it, which is kind of hard when youre on the road all the time but you learn to work around it."

i nodded along to what he was saying.

"do you like it?"

he looked up at me with wide eyes.

"being on the road i mean. i know you said you were in a band but surely you must like it."

he laughed a little bit.

"oh yeah, im a real road rat. i love getting to travel all over the place and perform and just experience stuff."

i nodded along again, pushing the now full vase to the side and leaning into the counter with my arms crossed under me.

"i dont know if id ever be able to do that. like it sounds fun in theory but i think id yearn for a stable home life after a while."

he rubbed his hands across his thighs.

"yeah i get that, its not for everyone, specially for people who have careers and families but ive never really thought about that stuff as an interest. like yeah itd be cool to have a wife or at least life long partner but the kids and stuff ive never really entertained the idea of."

i smiled at him, laughing a little bit.

"same here, kids are kind of a no go for me. like dont get me wrong i love my nieces but taking care of a small human is so much work and its so time consuming."

"right? plus you have to worry about what theyre doing at every moment and i definitely dont need that kind of stress in my life."

i picked up a cookie and tapped it against the counter.

"ya know i never thought id be having a conversation about family goals on a first date."

i looked up at him and he smiled at me nervously.

"well i guess you just go where the conversation leads you right?"

i nodded before taking a bite of the cookie.

"that you do. but i guess since we're on the topic. have you been actively looking for someone to date?"

i raised a brow as he looked down at his lap, thinking about my question.

"if im being honest no, but with the life i have id be lying if i said i didnt miss not having someone to share stuff with. just like someone who gets me and is willing to be there for me."

i looked up at him with hopeful eyes that this would go well.

"and you think that might be me?"

he shrugged.

"maybe. id say things are going pretty well so far."

i half smiled.

"id say so too."

he picked up another oreo.

"what do you say about that movie?"

i perked up a bit.

"yes, you pick, i got out a few that i think you might like."

i stood up and walked into the living room, him being right behind me. i watched his face light up at what i had laid out on the coffee table.

"sick!"

he said picking a few up and looking at them.

"oh yeah, i definitely think this is going to go well."

i laughed a little at his reaction.

"which one first?"

[fairy-made]

I dont think I ever said anything about this, but when I replayed the skyrim romance mod after it got an update a while back, it seemed like someone read my random comments about it and like....actually tweaked the mod?? which is really cool imo. putting this under a cut since I think the mod still generally has a bad rep, even though it seems like theyre working on that in some capacity. I didnt really even know what the drama was about in the first place.

literally everything I talked about that could be fixed within a reasonable amount of time was fixed. back then (~3-4 yrs ago) I was a little more tolerant of the “bad boy, borderline abusive” type and while the character himself seems to be intentionally pushy, it seems to be a bit better. if I remember correctly, I think they cut the rapey bits and just worked around it so that bishop was still a brat about your player not wanting to have sex, but not a scary horny nutcase. theres a big difference between “youre gonna have sex with me one of these days wench!!” and “ugh, fine, be like that!” its def not A+, but it is an improvement that still suits the character. I obviously wasnt too bothered with the earlier version back then (had some stuff I was going through), but now I can see the concern, and to me its less cringey. Id have to replay it again to see how I feel exactly, but Im sure its better at least.

they re-did the whole interaction with cael so instead of him talking about how he could give you orgasms like youve never seen, hes cautious of you yet still kind of flirty. a real sweetie. I mean, I like the new bit, but he could also let me know hes dtf a little bit. lmao thats just me though. 

the one thing I did not like too much was that they added animations for the sex scenes, and that you had no choice but to sit through them (unless you said no to sex altogether). since I literally set the camera so that I could not see the sex anims, I did get to hear bishops VA during the scenes and Imma just say.......... you should hear them. even if its just the once. lmao. I read that theyre gonna cut out the sex mod dependencies so that you can just have fade to black scenes, and I am for that 1000000%. 

now I just hope it gets ported it to the special edition, because it seems waaay too hard and time consuming to do it myself. I tried to start but the list of tasks was just too long to justify working on when I have homework and other stuff to do.

outside all that, I can see why there was such a bad vibe surrounding the mod at first. it all made sense when I read about the drama on reddit, but the harshness  was a bit... much?? from what I read, the creator made some bad choices and eventually acknowledged/fixed them. her reasoning and intentions for making them could be questionable, but people are human, idk what else to say. Im just... not grabbing a pitchfork over this and I fail to see any reason to continue that now lmao. she obviously still wants to hold everything together for the mod and do things better so... Im not gonna hold a grudge even if she made bad choices. she ultimately canceled the kickstarter, and this is all ultimately over a mod. a skyrim mod. you either wanna play and support it or you dont because of very valid reasons. its up to you. but either way it just will never be that serious.

I honestly got the impression that she might be a bad person from stuff I read until I got the chance to read about everything, and then I was like wow.. she fucked up, but the worst thing she did was undone the same day it happened so...like... yall couldve just went on about your lives and left this woman alone. 

anyway, long talk. it seems like the mods at a standstill, since it hasnt been ported to the SE yet and I dont think the creator herself has made any announcements about actual updates coming soon. but I actually hope things stay positive for the mod. 

(also psa, this is for my followers/mutuals if there interested in talking about it. Ive tagged this for the sole purpose of being able to be filtered by those who dont want to hear anything about it.)

Update: so I downloaded the beta for the SE. it wasnt working for me as the dialogue would seem to break anytime after I used racemenu. I literally cant play skyrim without changing my hair, and the person in charge of the beta said to try playing it on a no-rush new game so... I kind of gave up. I had started over twice after already sinking 4-8 hours into those 2 new games, specifically for the mod, and I just didnt feel like doing it again.

Replaying the bits that I could, I will say it is... kind of cheesy. Doesnt bother me much though. I used to write bad fanfiction, so its not the worst. Its just not impervious to being... cheesy at times. Idk how to put it lol. Maybe you could say its tropey? Like something youd read in a romance novel with those dramatic traditional cover illustrations. Not bad. Just, if you hate that kinda thing, you might not be into it. Im not very critical because the alternative is like. 1 other mod? So I just dont mind.

Outside of that I kind of have no idea what my complete opinion is on it now. I intended to find out, but gave up due to modding issues. I was a little younger when I first played it, so I may have different opinions on it now. As I mentioned before my opinion of sex and certain character traits used to be different, and its changed a lot since then. Its still kind of changing even now. I still go “yeah... that was the trauma” about stuff I used to think was not so bad.

To be honest I didnt even remember having an opinion of it as cheesy a few years ago, but now after replaying for the 3rd time Im like... from what little Ive seen so far, its some pretty sharp cheddar lol. So if it is a lot worse than you felt you were led to believe from reading this, Im sorry, and you can inbox me about it. Especially since I may not ever even play the newest version.

[isakeiiser]

well

i wasnt sure i was going to say something about this at least until the next clip, but yknow what... imma give it a go.

now, first of all, i understand if you dont want to watch anymore if that clip was too bad. it is your choice and i 100% respect and support that. do what you believe is best for you and your well being.

second of all, i think we can all agree that they shouldve put a trigger warning there. nothing more needs to be said about that.

and third of all. i understand both sides to be honest. this was a lot and it seems like people either loved it or hated it. as for me... im not sure yet. well see, depending on how theyll continue with this. but as for now, i feel like (even though i think they shouldve made it less graphic) if they follow it up well, it could be actually pretty good. maybe not for us, who watch wtfock as a skam remake, but for the ordinary viewers in belgium.

im not sure about belgium, but here in the czech republic we rarely get to see even the most stereotypical lgbt+ characters (like the gay best friend etc.), let alone same sex romances, and i dont think ive ever seen a storyline about homophobia in the mainstream media. that doesnt mean everyone here is homophobic, but the representation is almost nonexistent. so this isnt really something that weve seen a million times before, and as many people in the tag pointed out, straight people here often say that we dont need pride parades, we dont need the rights to adopt children, we dont need to talk about the lgbt+ community more - they believe were happy, its just that every once in a while someone might call us names but thats all.

and again: i understand if you found this clip too much and dont think it was a good idea for it to be included. i also find it hard to watch and to be honest, maybe just them getting punched but not completely knocked out would be better, given that theyve already been through a lot. but, if they explore this issue well, it might have an impact, especially considering that (from what ive heard) the show is pretty popular in belgium.

anyway, goodnight. sleep well. everything is going to be alright eventually. alt er love.

[zeravmeta]

Ok so, my thoughts on the VR ending and VR overall as the 6th entry.

Also because most of my thoughts aren't...complimentary im editing the names so they dont appear in the general tag. This also got LONG so readmore.

The Good:

- A//i's character still managed to be the one thing that saves VR as a show for me. Even with all the weird...contradictory plot issues, A//i still manages to be a compelling character who brings up the question of the right to live. I actually do like how he made it so itd be an ultimatum that he loses in either way, even if the ending kinda ruins the weight behind the action (which I will get to in a bit).

The meh:

-the ending was left somewhat open to interpretation which for a show as...empty as this was works out but honestly it was so vague as to A//is fate is that it may as well not exist.

The Bad:

-The main conflict behind the entire show is...simulations. No joke. Every conflict in the show can be traced back to someone doing a simulation and deciding to lose it. Even if they gave the (rather stupid) explanation that AI experience simulations like actual life (which btw the first villain wasnt an AI so this reason doesnt work), the fact that Yu//sa//ku took a bullet for one of A//is robot bodies that he literally has millions of is...just stupid and there solely for the "uwu drama".

-They actually killed A//i off but wait hes actually alive, so like the final duel literally had no purpose aside from...drama??? The episode is called Compromise and yet A//i had to lose just to keep Yu//sa///kus win streak and theres no compromise whatsoever. Yu//sa//ku litetally destroys the CompromA.I.se card so its just, no comrpomise in any way.

-This....wasn't a happy ending??? I have no idea why both the show and the fanbase frame this as a happy ending bc think about it in context: A//i pretty much loses everything, so does Yu//sa//ku who just isolated himself from everyone else for 3 months in order to comb the network for whatever remnants of A//i exist.

- So many of the supporting characters are just...there. Like, there is no side/supporting character who actually has a character arc in this show. Lets go through the list: Ao//i is pretty much the same character as when she started and goes through 2 unnecessary costume changes for a character growth that isnt there because she has literally ONE victory against an opponent that was stated multiple times to be weak and faulty and have her lose and tortured multiple times for no reason whatsoever, G//o had this weird deterioration that may have lead to something but ultimately didn't, Ak//ira is pretty much the same, J//in has ALL HIS TRAUMA ERASED SO THERES THAT, literally the only side characters who have some sembalnce of an arc are Sho//ichi (the best one anyways) from his "betrayal" in S2, and E//ma with her reconciliation with her brother. Outside of that, nothing. Yu//sa//ku, Re//volv//er and Ho//mu//ra are pretty much the only characters with an arc and even then they're not too solid? Which brings me to-

- Yu//sa//ku has been so wildly ooc since the end of S1. Ive seen so many say that his enphasis on bonds and friendship are character growth but actually looking at the sequence of events he suddenly just like. changes completely around his first duel with Ea//rth. Plus, the message of "revenge is good" was always so weird? Like, he got his revenge so all his trauma is ok now and never brought up or explored again aside from within the first 20 episodes. Theres nothing about it after that and its never built upon. The whole point of a revenge arc is to show that its BAD and yet he starts preaching that revenge is wrong AFTER he successfully gets revenge??? And even then its not exactly a revenge as it is more lashing out since it was Ko//ga//mi who was behind it all. Yu//sa/ku was definitely at his strongest characterization in S1 where we see how badly the Lo//st Incid//ent hurt him but S1 had its own share of problems that led into S2 and so many random plot threads that never went anywhere (such as the Anot//her Incid//ents, the Cy//berse deck being irl despite that A//i didnt have a physical body before then, The Bl//ue Mai//den meetup that was repeated by Nao//ki like 10 times in S2 which seemed to be leading up to something but never did, and the fact that theres 4 recap episodes in S1 already spelled some early problems). So much of the supporting cast function to just say "he turned this whole situation around...with ONE card..." i kid you not watch back every Yu//sa//ku duel I GUARANTEE you'll see someone saying hes a great duelist and serve only that purpose. ALSO THE END OF THE SHOW IS JUST MORE DRAMA?? They make him suffer for no reason other than that they can??? What purpose does his suffering at the end serve aside from just "uwu...poor baby..."???

-Re//volv//er is not a good rival. At all. He's so incredibly bland because much like Yu//sa//ku he was at his strongest characterization in S1 where he actually had some solid motivation in continuing his fathers work and being unable to accept that his dad was evil, yet most of that just flies out the window with all the collateral he's willing to inflict with the K//O//H?? All his character amounts too post S1 is "yeah i told you robots are evil and YOU didnt believe me". The most we got of him growing out of this mindset was calling A//i by his name exactly one time and nothing ever again. Also the fact that in the end we see him and his crew working for S//O//L despite the fact that they were gonna turn themselves in for their crimes just. leaves a rotten taste in my mouth. hes not a good rival at all. All he proves to me is that a good design can get anyone to like a character.

- Ho//mu//ra is...there. I literally cant say anything about him because he absolutely has the strongest motivations of the three but then the show jumps through hoops to push him to the back of the other two. He also has a bunch of early victories I do feel are undeserved (ESPECIALLY the A//oi duel that one pissed me off so much). Also the fact that the show just made him Yu//sa//kus friend immediately whereas it took Sho//ichi several months to get Yu//sa//ku to warm up to him just had me :/.

-The speed duels were a cool concept but they just became these huge cheat fests? Seriously Play//Maker uses StAccess literally every speed duel to pull out a new monster from whatever plot holes the writers need to patch up. I am not kidding. You can go back to every single speed duel Yu//sa//ku was in and youll see this. Skills just werent a good mechanic because when a protag pulls a new card its supposed to be representative of some growth/characterization but he stays the same pretty much throughout the entire show up until S2 where he wildly just switches personality. Plus the fact that Que//en could literally use a skill whenever just shows that it was cheating???

- The villains were overall lackluster. Boh//man was the best because Re//volv//er is just flat whereas A//i struck me more as an anti hero. And again: simulations are the enemy. Light//ning ran one and decided to go ham. Kog//ami ran one and decided to go ham. A//i ran one and decided to go ham. The conflicts are all the same and it just makes things happen rather than following a consistent plot thread? I will say that Boh//mans characterization of a hive mind to become perfect does strike my tastes but thats more my personal preference in villains rather than any merit he has.

- This is a bit of a personal pet peeve but I've seen some of the praise to this show about being the "darkest Y//G//O to date so therefore its good" and im just...no? Edge does not make a good show and just because they lightly focused on the tragedy in Yu//sa//kus life (and it IS lightly because its barely touched upon after mid S1) most of the stuff that happens in this show is pretty tame in comparison? The most that happened here was an attempted global hack of everyones minds from S2 and destroying the internet in S1, with a few references to the torture that happened during the Lo//st incid//ent. To compare: the previous series had this huge interdimensional war that, even if they could reverse the carding of people (which makes Den//nis' attempted suicide even more tragic), ended with an entire dimensions full of brainwashed soldier children, a dimension with huge class inequality that was still being heavily worked upon since there were canonically slaves, and a dimension that was savaged by a genocide and total global destruction. Hell, the series before that had a huge war where the arc actually did focus on the tragedys the characters faced and held consequence (even if they pulled a dbz revive everyone at the end). And as far back into the very first series there were even more graphic depictions of war and death? Idk i feel like people are overplaying the edge here just to find a way to complement this show.

Overall:

I'm...genuinely dissappointed. VR really had so many strong starting points but it all just fell apart at execution. Really the only reason I even bothered to watch it as kong as I did was because Im a longtime fan of the series and wanted to give it a chance rather than jump on whatever love/hate train the show has. Its been rated poorly on the JP side and most of the approval is a vocal minority. Just to be clear: this isnt me bashing the show, my opinions are mine and you can agree or disagree to any capacity, and even if a show isnt well written you can still find a reason to enjoy it despite the flaws.

But if Im being perfectly honest? I do not like this show. It's rushed, choppy, has no consistent or clear plot threads, most of the genuinely interesting characters are wasted for the protagonist to look better and he never really does because he ALSO has an interesting idea behind him but it never goes anywhere. It started strong but ended so poorly. Id be angry but im more dissappointed because Ive watched this show from day 1 and wanted to see the good things it has rather than focus on the negatibes but. yeah. This show really had potential and yet it just fell flat.

[turtleskane]

50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked Before

i was tagged by @billycipher! Thank you 💛

What is the color of your hairbrush? to be honest i don’t own a hairbrush A food you never eat? enchiladas. i’ve never had a good experience with them Are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold What were you doing 45 minutes ago? finishing an essay that is due tonight What is your favorite candy bar? kitkats will forever have my heart but twix are a close second Have you ever been to a professional sports event? so many baseball games. my uncle used to be a pitcher in the minor leagues What is the last thing you said out loud? no idea? ive been writing the essay for way too long What is your favorite ice cream? honey cinnamon from my local ice cream shop. i miss it so much What was the last thing you had to drink? water. im gonna make myself a moscow mule soon though Do you like your wallet? i have nothing against it but its 6 years old What was the last thing you ate? some bomb ass pizza. my parents and i make it on the grill and fuck its good Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i don’t even know the last time i bought clothes The last sporting event you watched? i think my 13 year old cousins basketball game like 4 months ago? maybe What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? just salt and butter Who was the last person you sent a text message to? it was to the groupchat i have with my friends and i was complaining about the essay Ever go camping? all the time! i can’t wait to go this summer if things open up again Do you take vitamins? nope Do you go to church every Sunday? nahhhhhhhh Do you have a tan? never been able to tan, never will be able to Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? pizza. did you not read about my parents bomb ass pizza?? Do you drink your soda with a straw? well i don’t like soda and i don’t like straws so this question doesn’t make sense What color socks do you usually wear? black Do you ever drive above the speed limit? rarely What terrifies you? being in an authoritative/powerful position Look to your left, what do you see? im watching old concert videos of harry styles on my phone-my nights going great What chore do you hate? dusting. and its a good thing my apartment is super dusty What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? i dont think i understand this question. maybe like wow?? idk What’s your favorite soda? as ive stated before i dont like soda Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? drive thru 1000% Favorite cut of beef? like i have any idea of one single cut lol Who’s the last person you talked to? in person my mom, on the phone my roommate Last song you listened to? eternal summer by the strokes  Last book you read? daisy jones and the six by taylor jenkins reid - i fucking love this book Favorite day of the week? if we’re talking productivity monday. i get so much done for some reason. if we’re talking laziness saturday Can you say the alphabet backwards? yes, i learned a song when i was in 3rd grade and i also worked in a library for 2 years How do you like your coffee? black if its a good cup of coffee. if its the shit my parents have then i need some  cream to mask the taste Favorite pair of shoes? ones that fit. i have really weird feet so its hard to find ones that fit my feet At what time do you normally go to bed? between 9:30 and 10:30 At what time do you normally get up? anytime before 6:30 What do you prefer sunrise or sunsets? sunsets are prettier where i live, but im a sucker for waking up to the sunrise How many blankets are on your bed? only my comforter Describe your kitchen plates? white with little dots around the edge Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? if i wanna get drunk tequila, if im just hanging out moscow mule or the butte water from the trashy bar in my town. sounds nasty but its actually pretty good Do you play cards? so many games. i love a good game What color is your car? green. an ugly green Can you change a tire? yep. when you live in the middle of nowhere, you learn early What is your favorite state/providence? i love montana so much i dont think i could even say another state Favorite job you’ve ever had? ugh my barista job on campus is soo good. i miss working so much How did you get your biggest scar? in 5th grade i broke by arm and the doctor gave me a waterproof cast (im pretty sure they took these off the market because of me). it rubbed on my forearm so bad that it caused me to get a big cut. I then went into a pool because i didnt realize my arm was cut. anyways, weeks later i could finally get the cast off. when they took it off, they found i had a really bad infection. i had to wear a brace for an extra 6 weeks because of it and now i have a 4 inch scar running up my forearm. also my body likes to form really nasty scars. for example, a cut that might not scar on somebody else would be a huge scar on me. What did you do today that made someone else happy? i called my roommate to say that im going to be coming back to my apartment after 4 weeks of being at my parents house

i nominate @aninterestingsynonym and anybody else who wants to do it!

[flowerpowell]

Fluff ABC (Chris x MC)

Hey all! I was replying TF for the 100000th time and I just HAD to write some more Chris cause I miss him so much, its not funny anymore. Ive decided to do this in an interview form so I hope you’ll like it! I picked a few letters only so it’s not too long but let me know if you’d want to read more letters! And, if you want me to do any other pairings, let me know! 

All rights go to Pixelberry for characters. I dont own the “template” I just used one I saw on my dash.

Word count: ~1464

Tagging (perma + Chris): @littlegreenmoo @agent-bossypants @katurrade @mysteli @gardeningourmet @annekebbphotography @delightfullypinkglitter @choicessa @brightpinkpeppercorn @drakewalker04 @hopefulmoonobject @akrenich @jellybean-marshmellow @syltti78 @jared2612  @kadencantarella @maxattack-powell @marikagia @mynameiskaylabella @melodyofgraves @xxlillybug-powellxx @queen-among-writers @the-soot-sprite  @am-i-invisible777 @nobounderiesplease ♥

“I am so happy you agreed to do this with me! When James asked me to prepare a Valentine’s Day edition of our newspaper I panicked! Thank you for saying yes, I can’t imagine interviewing any other couple for “Famous non-famous couples” than the most popular Hartfeld couple!” Reyna says excitedly, making herself comfortable on the couch and taking out her notebook. 

Amy puts a mug of coffee in front of her and sits next to Chris, smiling widely. 

“Of course! I would never refuse to help a friend and besides, it flatters me you think we’re the most popular couple.”

“And I’m always down to talk about how wonderful my fiancee is,” Chris beams, taking Amy’s hand and kissing it gently. 

“Aww, you guys are so sweet! Okay, should we get started? Are you ready?” Reyna asks from behind her glasses.

“Ready!”

“Great! I want to ask you about Activities, what you like doing together the most when you have free time?”

“Hmmm, I’d say everything!” Chris starts, “I enjoy Amy’s company so either we go to the cinema together, go for a walk with our dog, or simply study sitting next to each other, it’s all great for me!”

“Oh, hard same! I love simply being with Chris, whatever we do! But my absolute favorite thing is our evening walks! We never skip those, every single evening we take our dog out and we walk long distances and talk about our days and our plans. It’s amazing,” Amy adds and Chris steals a kiss while Reyna is noting what’s been just said. 

“And how do you Comfort each other? When one of you has a bad day, or panic attack, or is stressed, what the other person does to comfort you?”

“Amy gives the most amazing pep talks! She can motivate and inspire me like no one else. Anytime I feel down I can count on her listening to me and giving me the best advice and a motivational kick. I, on the other hand, I’m the worst at pep talking but I always make sure she can count on me too!”

“Chris is being too modest, he can give a decent pep talk! But most of the time he comforts me in a different way, he listens to me, gives me hour-long hugs, prepares a relaxing bath for me, makes me some hot cocoa and distracts me from being stressed.”

“Sounds like a perfect boyfriend,” Reyna notices and smiles warmy at them. 

“He sure is!” Amy chuckles and Chris scoots her closer to him. 

“She makes it easy, with such woman by my side, I can do everything!”

“The readers will love you! Okay, next question. Spill some tea, do you Fight a lot? Who usually starts arguments? Who’s the first to forgive?” Reyna asks and there’s silence for a few moments before finally Chris clears his throat and nods towards Amy to show who starts arguments more often. 

“Excuse me?” Amy notices what Chris was doing and pouts. “I don’t start arguments!”

“Yes, you do. Even the smallest thing can make you angry. Empty boxes? Argument! I don’t have enough time for you? Argument! I made plans without consulting you first? Argument and a breakup!”

“Okay, okay. Maybe I am too impulsive and overreact most of the time. The breakup was uncalled for, I admit. But I apologized for that already! And you must admit I was right to be mad at you when you kept forgetting about our dates.”

“Agreed,” he kisses her nose. “Fortunately, I hate when Amy’s mad so I try to come up with a compromise to end the argument.”

“That’s true! Chris hates conflicts and he’s the first one to forgive and to apologize. I’m lucky to have someone who can stand my mood swings,” she laughs and Chris and Reyna join her.

“So now let’s talk Jealousy! Do you get jealous over the other person? Who gets jealous more?”

“I think we both get jealous a little when there’s someone else flirting with the other one. I had to come to terms with the fact that my fiancee is a popular person and lots of guys want to talk to her each day. Luckily,” he takes her hand, showing Reyna the engagement ring Amy is wearing, “now everyone knows she’s mine, and only mine.”

“I must admit I felt very jealous when we all lived with Becca our Sophomore year! She’s Chris’s ex and even though he made it clear there was nothing between them, I still felt a little self-conscious and jealous.”

“I hope you know now that you’re the only one for me,” Chris looks at Amy and she nods.

“To be honest, I’m getting a little bit jealous over your relationship right now! Moving to the next question, do you guys want to get Married? How soon?” 

“Well, duh!” Amy shows her ring once again, “Of course I want to marry my bestie! He’s the best and I can’t imagine not spening my life with him!”

“I’ve come a long way since our Freshman year when I wasn’t sure I’d ever trust someone enough to marry them but with each day I fell in love with Amy more and more until one day it hit me, she was the one.”

“Awww, babe!” Amy snuggles closer to him and Reyna smiles at their cuteness.

“We hope to get married within the next two years; right now we’re looking for an apartment to settle in but I can’t wait to marry her and start our family together!”

“I wish you all the happiness in the world! And I hope I’m invited to the wedding. Now, tell me about Yearning. How do you cope when you two miss each other?”

“Whenever I go for championship, I facetime Amy every day and message her all day. I make sure I’m the first person she ‘sees’ when she wakes up and last one when she goes to sleep.”

“And I, on top of that, wear Chris’s T-shirts and jerseys! They smell like him and it makes me feel like he’s still there!”

“So that’s why I can never find my clothes! I thought I lost them all!” Chris exclaims and Amy laughs.

“Now you know! And I hope you’ll still let me keep them!”

“Ah, this will make a perfect article! Now I think I’ll just give a Wild Card!”

“I don’t think I understand what we’re supposed to do here?” Amy asks confused.

“Just tell me something sweet about your relationship! Something you haven’t talked about yet.”

“Well, there are many things but nothing in particular comes to my mind...” Chris bites his lower lip trying to come up with something when suddenly Amy jumps on the couch raising her hand.

“Ohh, I have something! Chris does it more every night and--”

“AMY! Remember we keep it PG-rated!” Chris shifted uncomfortably on the couch, nervously looking at Reyna noting something. 

“Oh, stop it, I wasn’t going to say anything inappriopriate! Anyway, as you know, Chris is like a walking furnace, he’s never cold and I’m his complete opposite! I’m always cold, I’m actually one of those people who wear socks to bed even in summer. So now, every time Chris goes to bed first, which happens pretty much everyday because I’m a night owl and I go to sleep an hour or two later, he lays on my side of the bed, wrapped in a comforter, even though it’s too hot for him, so that when I join him later, my side is all ready and warm. He’s been doing this ever since we moved in together the Junior year and I think it’s super adorable,” Amy explains and Chris blushes.

“Aww, this is so sweet of you Chris!” Reyna says which makes Chris even more flustered. 

“It’s not a big deal, I can’t let my favorite girl catch a cold,” he kisses the top of Amy’s head and Reyna sighs.

“Well, I wish I could ask you more but I’m afraid these are all of the questions I have prepared for you. Thank you so much for letting me interview you!”

“It’s been a pleasure,” Chris says and stands up helping Reyna with her things.

“If you ever need any help, just let us know!” Amy adds as Reyna waves her hand goodbye.

"Thank you for taking part in it! I hope you’ll like the article! But now I still have a few more couples to get to...”

[j4nn4s]

rules:

always repost the rules

answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!

give 11 questions

tag 11 people

i was tagged by @isakvdhflorenzi, ty miss lorena <3 1. Is the social media presence of the characters important to how you view the quality of the remake/show?

hm well skam nl is my favorite and their social media game is trash LMAOOO so generally No but i do feel like remakes who DO have such a good presence kind of elevate the show and i think it’s pretty heartwarmin to see some remakes go sm farther than skam with social media and puttin out educational and IN CHARA resources like skames does this so well and i feel like in that way, the team is really really spreadin skam’s spirit via these resources (like joana’s billion bpd awareness ig accounts and lucas rubio’s yt channel)

2. Least favourite clip of the show? Why?

tbh there are definitely some duds but probably one of the clips with sana gettin herself into a hole in s4 just bc some were hard to watch cus cringey or yikes .... idk i cant think of others LMAO

3. Which character did you feel the most connected to and why?

ijeoiqjiwoij even tho even is my all time fave skam chara, i have to say isak for all of these reasons 

4. Your least favourite part of every season?

season 1 - tbh even though i really enjoyed this season, it does take a while for it to build up like i rmr at first not being that interested until ep6 maybe ?? which is hard when you’re trying to get your friends to watch but they have to wait until ep6 before shit starts RLLY buildin up and gettin wild

season 2 - hm ig noora chasin after william ??

season 3 - bro NOTHINGGG call me a purist but its such a refined masterpiece like the pacing is good the characterization is so good ugh i deadass cant think of anythin

season 4 - i always felt a little ??? w noora being sana’s bff ig bc from s1-s3 it didn’t Feel like they were that close like even in noora’s pov, sana wasn’t really a part of it that much ?? like eva was more of noora’s bff ?? so i feel like it would have made more sense if maybe sana spoke more with chris or vilde bc sana and vilde eventually seemed to get closer esp with kosegruppa and chris has always been by sana’s side ?? idk that always confused me

5. What is your opinion on the cast’s participation on social media? Do you prefer it when the cast aren’t that involved like the Skam cast, or do you like a lot of content like the Fr cast do?

tbh i don’t care much abt the casts LMAOOO if anythin it kind of brings more harm as seen with the harassment axel and maxence get and also can bring more controversy like with irene (which honestly is p sad considerin how much i love skames bc now i feel super :/ watchin it like she shouldve just had private accts at this point)

6. Favourite song you found from Skam or the remakes?

OMFGGG love this question .... def doorman by slowthai and mura masa bc its one of my fave songs now and i got it from skam nl <3 ugh taste

7. If you could decide which characters from Skam got a season, who would you choose?

OOOHHH ugh torn bc i like isak’s pov but also i want even’s so might have to forfeit isak season for even season ....... hm so probs vilde, sana, even, noora (maybe not w william tho) and honestly maybe jonas too ??

8. Are there any moments that you liked in the show that everyone else seems to hate?

IJXDWQOIJJ yes .... remakes-wise, people hate skam nl s2’s last half but i enjoyed it for the most part ... i think the pacing was off for the last ep but personally, clip 50 made up for it and is p god tier imo ..... and also don’t think the first half of ep10 is enough to discredit the entire season bc i rlly loved seeing liv’s pov and have sm fave moments from the season 

but skam wise, omg might get a lil controversial w this one IM SORRY !!! im bein honest and its Just my opinion ok 

personally s2 got me more invested than s1 and i don’t think its a super bad season like i didnt really say many problems wrong with it until i got on tumblr wiejioqjoiqjq i was sort of interested in the questions that the noora/william dynamic brought up which is, as expressed in william’s war speech to noora, that nothing is ever black/white which i feel was a huge message and feeds into the ‘you never know what ppl are going through’ theme of the season ... like i like the idea of someone like noora, who can have a black/white mentality (as seen in the first clip of s2 when she tells vilde that they can’t have the tannin company as their sponsor bc they objectify women or smth but misses the context and what it could mean for the bus monetarily bc shes caught up in bein ‘woke’) having to break out of that and see more than one side ... and i think remakes like skam austin expanded on this idea well like when zoya was like ‘must be so nice being right all the time’ which i Do feel like is an important for youth to know today .... bc i think its so easy to get caught up in the idea of being so objectively right and morally superior that people lose sight of the more nuanced characteristics to life ... (omg long ramble BUT)

also LMAOOOOO this one might be more controversial as it pertains to bench scene s4 ok oops again doNT GOTTA AGREE !! ........ but i feel like the scene had a lot of good intentions ... i was def kind of cringing a bit tho bc i understand the subject’s sensitivity and how these topics are hard to talk about but i genuinely feel like they both made Some points and should listen to each other .... like as Hard and as maybe ‘unwoke’ it is to admit, unfortunately you sort of do have to answer the tough questions bc that way we learn from each other .... and i perfectly understand why some ppl wouldn’t want to do this and i certainly am tired abt havin to answer shit abt my sexuality or stupid male questions abt women but if u dont answer them, people do go lookin for answers still and the internet is such a shitty place that its pretty easy (esp with youtube’s algorithm) to lead you to ignorant ppl and perhaps radicalization .... questions help us to better understand our community and sometimes they can have good intentions too but we have to ask and answer them or else people will make up answers (which ive literally seen and its honestly worse to see fake as shit and UNINFORMED answers bc ppl did not want to ask you or ppl of ur identity, esp when they’re already startin from a place of hate .... but i rather have ppl ask me patronizing questions than have them spread false info bc that can do much more harm in the long run) however i DO think that isak should also consider sana’s side and i sort of wish we saw him conceding more bc they both have smth to learn from one another, like sana shouldn’t just be learnin from isak, isak needs to learn from sana too

PHEW SORRY QWIOJQWIO girl i just got opinions on some things this is when my desc rlly comes in handy .... oqjdwqioj

9. What did you learn from the show?

omg honestly too much to write here tbh ..... but if it says anythin im (very slowly) in the works of a three part skam essay about basically how skam teaches us to be better humans and how to better treat the people we care about diowjqioj essentially the three biggest themes of the show: you never know what someone is going through so always be kind, always communicate with your friends, and no person is ever alone and i feel like these are definitely rlly good messages to live by (also livet er nå BITCH !!!)

10. What is your favourite headcanon about your favourite characters?

omg tbh i could not tell u at all how the skam charas are doing except i hope even is okay thats all im thinkin of ok .... OIWXIOJX omg remakes wise tho ..... honestly im so bad at this girl IDK !!!!! LMAO i have to really think i have a bit of vdh and dutch even but thats bc we know like Zero abt them so its easier oijwiojqio idk liv and noah bein cute as shit ..... OH WAIT personally i feel like janna got a bunch of pansexual energy so my BIGGG hc is that she’s pan also bc she’s one of my all time fave charas and my fkn url so itd be dope if she was pan ok boom

11. What is your opinion on fanfiction in the fandom?

tbh i don’t read skam fanfiction but i don’t mind reading some from the remakes (tho still its rare) ... eiojeioqw i just don’t trust anyone but julie to write skam charas bc i think that’s how precious the show is to me LMAO like idk everything ive seen of skam fanfiction and ficlets and one shots, i could never get into bc the tone is just so out of character or there will be lines that just take me out of the fic bc im like this !!!! is not !!! how the chara acts !!!! so yeah idk not rlly a fan bc of my purist ass but i dont mind others reading it

Questions:

1. Favorite quote of the show?

2. Which country would you like to see have the next remake? Do you have any headcanons?

3. Which season would you rewrite and how would you rewrite it?

4. What clips do you personally like or don’t mind, but others hate?

5. Which songs do you think SKAM or the remakes should have included? For which moments?

6. Who would you give SKAM season five to and what topics and themes would it cover?

7. What moment spoke to you or touched you from SKAM the most?

8. How did you find SKAM? How did you feel about it right after watching?

9. Have you shared SKAM with any friends in real life? What did they think of it?

10. Of the remakes, which characters are your favorite of their SKAM counterparts? (Ex. who is the best Vilde remake? Eva? etc.)

11. How do you feel about the SKAM (and remakes) tumblr fandom?

I tag: @smileykeijser @whatadaze @queenofpurgatoryx @itlukey @skamyeets @shaykeijser @megeliz01 @isakcijser @wackpainterkid @axelauriantblot @kar-d-momme

(omg ik some of yall have been tagged so just ignore if u dont want to do it ok im srry it was in the RULES!)

[crazy-hand-official]

on hole

ok so this posts been a long time a comin’ but i finally feel like im drunk enough to talk about (and never shut the fuck up about) one of my favorite bands... Hole

hole’s music has meant a lot to me since i picked up Live Through This at some boring ass used cd store that also happened to sell erotic fantasy novels about good fathers. but anyway. holes music is for women with bad fathers. women who are kind of fucked up and angry about it, too. women who have trauma and scars and are kinda gross. women who were wronged but somehow by the grace of god empowered in the face of their horrible experiences. 

or at least it feels like that, dont it?

that was the main appeal of hole to me, anyway. i fell in love with this album around the second or third listen through. i was like, damn, shes pissed. it was so refreshing to hear a woman just screaming out her frustrations. how cathartic must it have been to be able to not only get it out, but also be taken somewhat seriously? of course hole never got the recognition they deserved. im of the unpopular opinion that they were waayyyy better than nirvana. without sounding kinda sappy... you know what fuck it im not apologizing to any of u. hole totally made me embrace womanhood. it influenced my own, much beloved way to just exist. 

but also i guess i just really love tunes. 

ps im not here for the courtney killed kurt debate lmfao!!

ok so heres the part where i write my onions about their four studio albums 

Pretty On the Inside

their first album and admittedly, my least favorite (that doesnt say much because i still really enjoy it). its sound is much more abrasive. love employs her most guttural screams in this one, but ill get to that. to its credit, its the most experimental but many interpret it as amateur guitar screeches and song bits just hashed together. and maybe theyre right! but what band doesnt have that not-quite-there-yet first album? its an unrefined, beautiful mess. A song title or two is spelled wrong. Garbadge man is one that comes to mind. and for some reason, its just... fitting. its an artistic mistake left in and its so dumb but thats the fun in it! thats the punk in it! they dont give a fuck so why should you? this album is a messy bitch. 

track im gonna nut about: mrs. jones

this song is apparently about a back alley abortion, and its just as brutal. love is screaming, just guttural sounds and expletives and nauseating lyrics. when i first heard it, i was absolutely entranced in the atrocity of it all. shes sweating, panting. i will follow you down the sick drain

other favorite tracks: teenage whore, good sister bad sister, pretty on the inside

Live Through This

their most popular album also happens to be my favorite! the start of it all...

i havent shut up about this album since day one because i just like it so much! she refines her skills and just comes out with a successful album that ties an array of horrible themes and wraps them up in a pretty pink bow. its soft aesthetic covers the dark, sickening themes that make the album. rape, anorexia, self harm, self hatred, violence, abuse... the list goes on. someone i one knew asked me why women with bipolar disorder and bpd love hole so much and i had to bite my tongue but to be brutally honest we probably like it because love had the nuts to scream about taboo themes that are so hurtfully common in our lives. just like how the depressed rally behind the smiths. oh that and the musics awesome. but anyway, the cover is a beauty queen the moment shes crowned. its supposed to represent someone who has fought, clawed, and fucked her way to the top. but look! shes the queen! shes the beauty queen! everyone will finally love her and treat her with respect! and all she had to do was sell her soul. all she had to do was get abused over and over to the point of breakdown. but she made it, didnt she? i mean, look how pretty the crown is!

favorite track im not gonna shut up about: i think i would die

im gonna be super lazy and just copy and paste what i wrote up one time when i talked about this song before:

wait nevermind i cant search for my post through my tag because tumblr is broken. something about breastmilk? ill update once i find it lmao. 

other favorite tracks: violet, softer softest, miss world

Celebrity Skin 

i dont have as many onions on this one. supposedly, love didnt want this album to become ‘the widow album’, but theres a song or two about kurt’s death snuck in there. this albums loud, but not nearly as angry as the first two. in fact, when shes not singing catchy pop tunes about how jaded she is, shes being sincere and heartfelt. all in all, its a fantastic album and my second favorite that hole has to offer. 

favorite track of the album: heaven tonight

ive heard two stories about what this songs supposedly about. on one hand, people say its about two lovers. the girl wants to lose her virginity to the guy, so she drives (recklessly) to his house and dies in an accident. she’ll never grow old, she’ll go to heaven tonight. on the other hand, i heard that love just wanted a fun song to sing to her daughter, frances bean. either way, it makes me want to dance. so idk if its about teenagers fucking or about a little girl who just needed a song, but its cool.

other favorite tracks: awful, celebrity skin, reasons to be beautiful

Nobody’s Daughter

years later, hole released their final album. when i first heard it, i was disappointed. the first track was great, but then.... i noticed her voice had deteriorated significantly due to her smoking and other vocal abuse. and i thought, damn, i really wish she released this when she was younger. she sounds normal when she screams, but i guess to compensate when singing softer parts, she does this kind of weird weird thing when enunciating that... ok i cant pinpoint or describe what exactly it is but it kinda sucks. ‘honey’ is the only hole song that i dont like very much, and its the best song to use as an example when trying to explain how her voice got all fucked. now, we cant all be bowie (whose singing voice only got better after years of smoking). but still. 

anyways, i listened to the album again, and i mean really listened to it. and actually! the smoker voice is the beauty of it! its a woman who is past jaded and past giving fucks about anyone or anything. its songs from a woman of experience. and she still sounds badass! her voice is so rough, she sounds like she could still fuck anyone up. its exciting. 

favorite track to get all sappy about: letter to god

i really found an appreciation for this song. this is a song about someone who cant be saved. and isnt that fucked up? youre so bad, so hated by all of those around you, but no one can hate you as much as yourself. and you try everything to pick yourself up but just nothing works. and everyone has their two cents in what they think will help you. but youve tried every med in the book and youve tried this and that and the other thing, and you come to the conclusion that you just cant be saved. youre drowning. so what do you do? you turn to god, a supernatural all-mighty being. but shit, i hope he can help you. because if he doesnt, fucking nothing ever will. so go write him that letter.

  i never wanted to be the person you see

other favorite tracks: nobodys daughter, skinny little bitch

and thats what i have to say about that!

[jace-beleren]

Qs & As

@astraldawn tagged me in a thing a day or two ago and it’s painfully slow at work today, so now is as good a time as any.

1. Does arguing make you upset? I hate that the honest answer to this question is yes. I seem to get more heated than I mean to and definitely more emotional. But not always, sometimes I stay perfectly calm. Who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2. Do you tend to make or follow decisions in your friend group? In terms of my Mtg friends, I make most of the decisions. I’m always the one planning travel details or making tournament arrangements. With my close friends I tend to follow more often than not.

3. Do you have any serious regrets that you would change if you could? *obligatory mention of emotionally abusive relationship* Any other serious regrets stem from when I was much younger and a much shittier person. I grew up very religious and very conservative and I was just...not a good human being. I’m eternally grateful to still have friends from that period of my life, which is basically from birth to freshman year of college. Call that time period Myles 1.0

4. Pancakes or waffles? I actually don’t have a serious preference. If I’m out ordering breakfast I’m almost 100% to order pancakes, but I love making hotel breakfast waffles

5. Do you get over fights easily? Yes. Side effect of abusive conditioning, I’m usually fairly quick to let it go. Especially if it’s a fight with someone I’m close to.

6. Do you subscribe to any superstitions? I wish on eyelashes. I knock the nearest surface when all the numbers on the clock are the same. I shuffle my opponent’s deck 7 times before a game.

7. What genre do you listen to most right now? It’s less a genre than like, a few select groups. My music app algorithms are having fits because I’ve got all the same artists on repeat. Jon Bellion, AJR, dodie, Walk off the Earth.

8. What generation would you describe yourself as belonging to? I’m a millennial through and through. Even though I don’t like avocados.

9. What’s the nerdiest thing you’ve done that you can remember? I’m not sure how to answer this question because like...my whole life.

10. Do you notice yourself forming judgement about people when you do? Yeah, I’m pretty aware of my perceptions of others as well as my biases. What I didn’t know until recently is that I’m known for forming a negative opinion of someone and then NEVER CHANGING IT EVER.

11. Do you know the technical definition of introvert and extrovert? I thought I did, but then I read this question and I doubted myself. I do count myself as more of an introvert, which can be frustrating because I know I used to be an extrovert but that got lost somewhere in the reassembly of my personality. Oh whale.

There we are, all 11 questions done. Now I’m supposed to tag 11 more people, right?

@finnglas @hallaheart @littlemousebot @littleblumoose @esper-etherium @elvish-memesmith @unexpected-phyrexian @yuginarumon @northernvvinds @bisexual-beleren @take-on-meme are the first ones that come to mind, feel free to take a crack at the following questions (or don’t, I won’t tell you how to live your best life)

1. Do you think aliens exist?

2. What’s your favorite tv series and why do you like it so much?

3. Preferred color of pen ink?

4. Is there anything you find yourself constantly reorganizing into a certain order? Documents at work, browser tabs, etc.

5. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

6. Hummus. Thoughts?

7. On a scale of 1-10, how messy is your room on average?

8. What’s your Chipotle order?

9. What album could you listen to on repeat?

10. Any funny stories from work this week?

11. How do you stay focused when writing/studying/working/etc?

[shhh-no-ones-home]

tattooed on my heart steven adler x reader

+++++++++

havent done an actual imagine in a while so heres a super soft/cute one

imagine: steven dating an alternative/goth girl. hes a v soft boy and everyone is super confused how that works but he is absolutely smitten with her and her style.

song: fingers crossed by coin

tag list: @cynic-spirit @satans-arse

+++++++++

"hey, ill be right back."

i said standing off the couch and kissing steven gently.

"okay."

he said not wanting to let my hand go. we had been invited to a party and i was definitely feeling out of place. with their rock star life style i had anticipated more leather and chains but it seemed like duff and i were the only ones participating in the trend. even axl chose to wear jeans. i didnt really mind though, i was used to being stared at and thats exactly what happened as i made my way to the bathroom. every wall was lined with people lingering around each other and most of them were gawking at me, a few of them reaching out and grazing their fingers against the chains hanging off my leather jacket.

when i reached the bathroom i sighed in relief, closing the door and looking at my tired eyes in the mirror. the black around them was smudged and smeared down my face from the long night of partying but it kind of went with the 'dont fuck with me' look. not that the teased up Mohawk didnt do that or anything but still. i laughed at the thought of myself standing next to steven, the complete opposite of myself in every way. he was such a ray of sunshine and happiness; i was practically dating a golden retriever. i knew he loved me though, i fascinated him, or at least thats what he told me.

i tip toed up a bit to see my legs in the mirror above the sink, looking at the two week old tattoo sitting just below the hem of my dress. the velvet felt nice on the healing skin but i needed to wash it again. thats the one thing i hated about new tattoos but the outcome was always worth it. i dropped back to flat feet before propping my leg up on the sink and washing my leg off, some of the dead skin falling away in bits of black and pink. i heard a knock at the door just as i was drying my thigh off, queuing me to leave. when i walked back into the living room of the house steven was still sat on the couch talking awkwardly with a way-to-interested female. she was cute if i was being honest, herpale blue blouse made her look nice in contrast to the other more bold women at the party.

"hey baby."

he said relieved, noticing me and holding his hand out for me to take.

"sorry, my leg was starting to itch."

he nodded.

"sarah this is my girlfriend y/n."

he said, smiling widely at me and helping me into his lap to sit, now that the couch was full. she laughed a little bit as he slid my dress up a bit to inspect my tattoo, he absolutely loved it. hes the one who helped me pick the placement and all that too, saying my thighs were his favorite part of my body so why not add more art to the art that was already there. it did take up the majority of the space after all.

"youre joking, right?"

she asked as i draped my arm around his shoulders.

"hes absolutely not."

i said looking down at him endearingly. he smiled back up at me with the widest smile, rubbing his thumb lightly into the inside of my thigh, being careful not to push into the tattoo.

"how the hell do you date someone like that?!"

she asked, eyes wide. slash , sitting behind the woman and talking to someone else, leaned over and tipped his glass towards me. he knew exactly what i was thinking.

"we ask ourselves the same question at least three times a day darling."

he said amused. she looked over at him as i laughed, stevie looking a little confused by what he meant. slash turned back around, her gaze falling to the floor a little expressionless and shocked to say the least.

"what do you like about her? youre so normal in comparison."

she pointed out, a bit shell shocked. when i looked from her back to him he was already staring at me, a small smile on his lips.

"whats not to like?"

he asked, wrapping his arms around my waist, petting his thumb into the velvet of my short dress.

"just look at her, its like dating a walking art museum. plus shes the most interesting and unique person ive ever met."

he said generally, still keeping eye contact with me. i couldnt help the blush creeping its way to my face.

"i love everything about you, from the way you make your coffee in the morning to the way you stay up with me at night to make fun of those stupid late show hosts. and not to mention how you make me feel, like i belong in every every part of your life. hell you even let me pick where your new tattoo went, how many people would do that? and now as an added bonus i get to look at my favorite thing on your body all decorated."

i leaned down and kissed him gently. when i pulled away he looked over at her, a lazy smile playing on his lips.

"not to mention she is much more interesting to look at without her clothes."

i laughed nervously and hit him square in the chest with my hand.

"steven!"

i scolded and he just squeezed me tighter to him.

"look babe, i love the outfits but you cant tell me you dont look stunning naked, decorated in ink and design."

he awed and i kissed him again.

"i love you stevie."

i said admiringly, feeling the couch shift.

"if youll excuse me i need to go re-assess my approach to getting guys to like me."

i laughed a little bit, catching her hand before she was gone.

"hey, dont change for any guy. if they truly love you then you wont need to. i know i didnt. mohwak and all."

she finally smiled back at me and nodded knowingly.

"thanks."

i let go of her and she walked off into the kitchen. i turned back to steve, holding his head in my hand and running my thumb over his cheek bone. he seemed absolutely in love with me and i couldnt help but melt. he was the best thing that had ever happened to me, crazy life style included.

"is it lame to ask for another kiss?"

he said softly, looking between my eyes. i shook my head no.

"of course not."

i said, leaning down and kissing him gently. he hummed into it and i sighed at the sensation. when i pulled away i rested my forehead on his, eyes closed.

"i love you baby."

i said softly. he kissed me again, smiling into it.

"i love you too."

[idreamofwolves]

Old Times -Part One

Summary: Negan stumbles upon a familiar face from life before the end of the world.

Pairing: Negan (The Walking Dead) x OC

The dead walk the earth, the living survive on nothing but fuel in the form of safe houses and scraps of food they find or hunt. It wasn’t the way Emily ever thought things would be, or anyone for that matter, but there she was, hiding out in some old, abandoned cottage in the middle of the woods. She thought this would be her safe place, somewhere she could feel comfortable sleeping without the fear of being eaten by walkers in her sleep. She was wrong.

Emily had woken in the middle of the night to the sound of pounding on her front door that she’d hardly reinforced given her false sense of safety. That was mistake number one. Mistake number two came when fear started to override rational thought. Instead of running for weapons when the door cracked open, she attempted to hide herself in a small closet.

As the dead drug their feet in, they became frantic, or as frantic as the dead could be, in search for the living flesh they smelled and craved. Her hands shook and tears ran down her face. “This is it. This is how it’s going to end.” She thought, feeling more hopeless than ever.

Just when she had given up all hope, she heard something that would change the course of her awful night. The croaking sounds of walkers dying tang through the cottage, making her perk up and wonder what on earth was going on out there.

When the sounds of smashing and crushing finally came to a close, foot steps could be heard around the area. It seemed like only one person, but Emily couldn’t imagine a scenario where one person could kill so many walkers. And although it was against her better judgement, she slowly and quietly crawled out of the closet. She gasped as she was quickly met with the rotting face in hers. She threw herself into her back and took in the bloody scene around her.

Just as she started to get overwhelmed, a figure in the doorway took her attention. “Ho-ly shit!” The man exclaimed, oddly amused somehow. A barbed wire covered bat was sling over his shoulder, dripping with blood. He seemed unfazed by this. “We got a live one.”

“You did this?” She asked, not sure what she was more horrified by, the graveyard around her or the man above her that caused it without a flinch.

“Yeah and saved your ass in doing so.” He chuckled as he rest back on his heel. “What’s your name, doll?” The room was dark and she couldn’t see much, but she recognized that voice from somewhere.

“Emily.” She answered without thought, his demeanor and authoritative stance made her feel afraid, but he’d just saved her life. She couldn’t be anything less than grateful. “Thank you, for this.”

“Emily.. Have we met?” She was taken aback by the question, but upon really looking at him, she realized he was right. They’d met before, long before the outbreak.

“Negan?” She answered, trying to hold back a smile. She stood up and brushed herself off quickly before going back to the conversation. “You’re alive? What are you doing here?” She hurried to him and hugged him out of a rush of relief and joy.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He hugged her back, almost dropping his beloved bar in the process. His smile was still there, but it wasn’t the normal, cocky grin he often wore. He was shocked to find someone from his old life, relieved even. It suddenly made him miss the old days.

They’d met long before the outbreak, looking at her was like looking into the past, into a place he dearly missed when he let himself think about it.

He pulled away from him to look him in the eyes. He looked almost just as he did the last time he saw her, except maybe more muscular now. “I haven’t seen you since..” she trailed off, remembering exactly when she saw him last but didn’t want to say.

“Since the bar.” He finished, and in the back of both of their minds they remembered their first and last meetings.

Negan’s wife, Lucille, was harsh and demanding and every part of him felt his marriage had failed. They fought so often that he barely knew what it was like to laugh with a woman anymore, until he met Emily. He’d often go to the bar to get out for a while and let things cool off at home. That’s where he met her.

She was shy and new to bar tending, she wasn’t cut out for it but she was pretty and men tipped well. It wasn’t what she really wanted to do in life, but it paid the bills.

It was a slow night when Emily came into work. It was the last shift, and a short one at that. She was ready to go home as soon as she came, until she noticed the tired looking man at the end of the bar. A few others lingered as they sipped their drinks, but it was him she was interested in. “Hey.” She smiled as she gained his attention. “You okay?”

“Doin’ great doll.” It seemed like he’d actually meant to sound more honest, but it came out sarcastic. “Mind filling this up?” He slid his glass over to her, and motioned toward the nearby bottle of whiskey.

She lowly watched him as she poured the whiskey. She slid his glass back and checked on the other bar dwellers. After a few moments of contemplation, she went back to him. “Want to talk about it?” She pried, making him chuckle.

“That obvious, huh?” He rubbed his eyes with his hand and took a deep breath. “Think I’m here for the same reason most of these lonely, alcoholic bastards are here for. Angry wife.”

“Ooh. That bad, huh?” She rested her elbows on the bar and sipped on her soda. “By the look on your face, I’m guessing it’s one of two things. This is your first big fight with a wife you’re crazy in love with, which I’m going to doubt since I’ve seen you here once or twice, or this is becoming so common that you don’t know what to do anymore. Am I close?” She found it easy to talk with him, despite her normal reserved nature.

“Spot on, sweetheart.” He chuckled and sipped his drink, looking confident but deep down she knew he was feeling down.

“It’s Emily.” She smiled and lightly tapped her name tag. She got a smile out of him, which was really all she wanted.

“Negan.”

From that moment on, they bonded over broken relationships and their off sense of humor. It was an unexpected friendship laced with some kind of flirtatious nature, as time went on.

Negan quickly became attached to Emily, as he was able to use her as therapist and friend. She reminded him how to laugh, and she helped him forget about the rest of the world outside of the bar. And although the friendship was innocent enough, he knew himself enough to know he had feelings for her.

Emily, on the other hand, was incredibly oblivious to Negan’s flirting. She saw it as a joke most of the time, just friends kidding around, even if it did make her heart beat out of her chest. He wasn’t someone she ever imagined she’d want to be with, but she couldn’t help but imagine it at times. She found safety in him, as he was always there to ward off the seemingly sexual predators that frequented the bar now and then who always wanted more than a drink from her. She found solace in him, knowing she could vent if she needed to and ask for his opinion. He was honest and caring, something rare, she thought.

The last time Negan saw Emily, he knew it would be the last. The news of Lucille’s cancer made things hard for him, and he knew he couldn’t keep seeing this girl anymore. As much as it hurt him, he knew he had to let her go.

He walked into the bar, his composure slightly different than normal. His confident stride and cocky smirk had completely vanished. “Hey you.” Emily greeted him as he took his normal seat. He mumbles out some sort of greeting, but it was incomprehensible. “What’s up buttercup? Bad day?” She asked, thinking he and Lucille must have gotten into some kind of major fight.

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “Definitely a bad day.”

Emily frowned, she hated seeing him upset. “Whiskey kind of day, huh?” She poured him a drink but he put his hand out to stop her.

“Look sweetheart, I’m not staying today. I just wanted to drop in and give ya this.” He dropped a folder note down on the bar for her to read. He didn’t have the courage to tell her what he desperately needed to say, especially knowing it wouldn’t get him anywhere anyway.

Emily picked up the letter and looked him in his sad eyes, somehow knowing she wouldn’t see him again. “What’s this?” She asked, not really wanting to open it.

He sighed and looked away for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. “Read it later, okay? Lucille’s got cancer so I won’t be around much anymore. Just thought I’d say ‘bye’ to my favorite bar tender.” He tried to make it light, but this didn’t feel good for him, it felt like a break up.

“Oh. I’m so sorry to hear that.” She nodded, squeezing the paper in her hand. “Well I hope I see you around some time, Negan.” She forced a smile, even though no part of her felt like smiling.

“Me too, princess.” He walked out, feeling more broken than he ever had. It was hard, knowing she was about to find out what he’d been feeling, and not being able to do anything about it. Not to mention the guilt he started to feel about having feelings for another woman while he was married.

It was tough on the both of them, but they never saw each other again. Not before the outbreak, that is.

“Yeah. The bar.” She said, slowly. She didn’t want to remember that night, but she still had his note. She carried it with her the moment she’d been forced to flee her home, knowing it was all she had left of him and the old life she’d lived.

“I’m real sorry about that Em.” He started, but she didn’t want him to finish.

“How’s Lucille? Is she-“

“Dead.” He said, abruptly. “She died while all the shit started hitting the fan. Turned into one of them.” He shrugged, feeling a little defeated. He hadn’t really talked about it before, but he knew he could trust her.

“Oh. I’m so sorry.” She hadn’t expected that answer, somehow.

“Don’t be. I’m glad she didn’t have to deal with this shit show.” He motioned around them, and she knew where he was coming from. Part of her wished she never had to deal with it too, but the other option scared her more.

“Right.” She nodded and looked out the window. She felt nervous, never did she think this opportunity would come. Honestly she figured he was dead. “So what are you doing here? On the run?”

“Never.” He said, confidently. “I run a place called The Sanctuary. It’s an old compound we fenced in. We take in everyone we can, make deals with other communities, you know.”

“Thats sounds amazing. I’ve been on my own since this started. Somehow I’m still not any good at fighting these things.” She laughed, knowing her weaknesses.

“How the hell have you been living in this without fighting?” He asked, semi amused but mostly worried.

“I just go from house to house. I board everything up and live on the food and stuff there until it runs out, then I venture off to a new home.” She wasn’t proud of the way she’d been living, and honestly she had very little contact with anyone since the beginning. It was amazing to her not only seeing someone, but seeing someone she knew.

“Come on, come to The Sanctuary with me. We got food and hot water, even beer.” The offer was enough without the luxuries he’d mentioned. She realized she still had feelings for him, and she wondered if he still felt the way he said he did in the letter. There was only one way for her to find out.

“I’d love to, thank you.”

[moldypieceoflasagna]

36 questions that nobody asked me

(except @lollipoppedchainsaw )

(the 36 questions that lead to love or whatever) https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I hate going out to dinner so much i probably wouldnt be able to enjoy it properly

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

It would be interesting to see what it’s like for a short period of time, but i’d never be able to keep it up; i’d probably have an identity crisis

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

yes i have to mentally prepare myself 100% of the time

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

hanging out with the people i love is enough to keep me happy for a good while tbh. sitting around doing nothing literally nothing with them is endlessly entertaining to me even though sometimes i might make that hard to believe 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

i sing to myself a lot, not so much to others- although i AM a slut for karaoke

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

body because i feel thats probably what old people complain about most. plus like,, 90 years of life knowledge? sounds great to me

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

probably an accident that’s almost statistically impossible

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

single rn (ladies) but i usually try to find friends with similar music tastes because scream-singing in the car is the most fun one can have

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

im most grateful for my dogs and for my friends! i love them and it means the world to me to have people that i can call family. also i would die without my dog juno, she is my rock (and my therapist)

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Not rly how i was raised, but i wish i had a closer relationship with my older siblings. Three of them had moved out before i was rly old enough to not be an asshole child, so most of them still see me as an asshole child and they never take me seriously. im glad i have an alright relationship with them, but that’s kinda all it is and i know i could do better

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Lived in Texas my whole life yeehaw. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters; 2 of them dont like me, and my relationship with the other 2 is,, certainly not bad. Had a lot of physical and mental illness in the past, but 20gayteen is definitely my year, yeet

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

either speaking a different language or playing the piano. im very jealous of good piano players, and at some point i need to be able to speak a more useful language than french because so far in texas it’s proved absolutely useless (other than talking to my mom but that doesnt count)

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I’d wanna know wtf im supposed to do with my life because sweaty i still have no idea. passion? dont know her please introduce me

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

i wanna go skydiving bitch, no one wants to go with me! pussies!!! the lot of you

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

that one time i did an entire semester’s worth of work in the last three days of the school year

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

being able to put up with my huge fucking mouth. also honesty is super important, even if it’ll make me feel shitty

17. What is your most treasured memory?

when i went camping with a bunch of friends and they were bitter i got to be in the middle of the tent because they were all cold. either that or the time i was getting really bad sleep paralysis and @lonelywaterfall & @skity stayed over so my paranoia didnt render me completely useless,,, also the paramore concert lol ive never been more vulnerable in my life.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

coming out to my mom haha

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

i’d go on a trip around the world to explore/to see a few people, and i’d put extra effort into my gender expression

20. What does friendship mean to you?

comfortable silence is my kink. also emotional vulnerability and SAD BOY HOURS we cant forget those

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I’m such a slut for physical affection yall have no idea please hug me as much as possible and play with my hair or my hands

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

i guess ill do the same with previous partners so.. i think being funny is probably the #1 thing i appreciate in someone. when you make me laugh so hard i cry, just know that’s like. peak. also stubbornness is strangely attractive to me, plus like,,, uh having an unexpected soft side? an appreciation of art is super important, too. also SPOON VERSATILITY.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

it was probably happier than a lot of people’s but there wasnt much to it. plus being the youngest in my ENTIRE family really sucked during my childhood because everyone picked on me and i think that’s probably what started a lot of my issues lol

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

better than it could be, but definitely not what i want it to be. we both love each other and i admire her work ethic, but she gave me a lot of anxiety problems (both genetically and not) and she isnt the most understanding person. i have hope though, people change

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …

I’m hungry and sitting alone in front of my computer feeling like OVERSHARING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY MORNING, BOYS

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …

many, MANY animals and a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I’m REALLY insecure about my body xd

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

LOVE feeling safe. 

29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

probably every time that i’ve ever worn a dress, because i really,, really dont like wearing dresses and that’s it

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

last cried by myself this morning and last cried in front of another person at my friend’s birthday party

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

no partner but if youre reading this im rly proud of ur attention span. gj buddy

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

i think most things can be joked about after a certain amount of time, but like,, it has to actually be funny and it has to come from someone i know isnt serious about it. if a joke is made just for the purpose of being offensive and edgy, it’s never funny no tea just truth. 

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

i’d regret not spending enough time with people that i love, not traveling as much as i should have, and also i’d regret not formally coming out of the closet to my family (they probably already been done knew but like. yknow). i came out to myself & the people closest to me a LONG ass time ago, but i’ve kinda seen what it did to my immediate family so im not too excited to do that to my extended family. if i’m not too much of a pussy, ill probably do it in the summer when i see them next, bc ive been meaning to for a while.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

is it bad of me to say my computer? i feel like everyone else has a much more meaningful answer lol. it would probably either be that or the papers i keep on my bulletin board, bc most of them hold a lot of sentimental value (also my prescriptions  would be a pain to get copies of)

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

either of my parents because i dont want them dying before i reach the point where i can expect them to be happy for me when i marry a girl

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

personal problems? what’re those lmfao dont have any srry try me again later

 i’m too much of a pussy to tag certain people so if you see this and I've had any sort of conversation with you, do it coward

(also @skity  @drawinintherain )