#i feel like I'm a terrible person and the shittiest friend for having so many limits and boundaries and moving so slow

[forbiddennhoney]

i hope all my friends who i don't talk to as much as i wish i did know they're constantly in my thoughts

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 2: The Welcome

Spoiler alert: I forgot to discuss chapter icons last time. It's terrible, breaking such a successful streak. I have toh. If you don't know what that is, be aware, because I'm perfectly happy to spoil everything about this whole damn series if you're not careful. Look away if that bothers you.

Anyway, chapter icons. Last time was another wheel and serpent, which probably reflects both how Rand is being pulled by the Pattern to stay put despite his desires and how the Dark One's touch is beginning to corrupt it more blatantly with the proto-bubble. This time we get the Flame of Tar Valon, because the Amyrlin Seat is visiting.

“Ho, southlander! The Amyrlin’s here. Come for you and your friends, I suppose. Peace, what honor for you! She seldom leaves Tar Valon, and she’s never come to the Borderlands in my memory.”

A) This and several other bits of dialogue is a delightful way for the denizens of the fortress to be tormenting Rand about the trap that he's found himself caught in without realizing it (one of my favorite kinds of dialogue).

B) I can't help but feel that this is another bit of failure on the part of the Tower. An Amyrlin who tours the continent regularly and brings a retinue with her would be yet another way to be building positive relations with the populace, helping them and encouraging them not to see the Aes Sedai as wicked witches. Hopefully it's something they pick up on as the Fourth Age goes on.

The women barely glanced at him, and went right on clearing his clothes—and Mat’s and Perrin’s—out of the wardrobe and replacing them with new. Anything found in the pockets was put atop the chests, and the old clothes were bundled up carelessly, like rags.

I don't know if this is Moiraine's outright shittiest act as mentor, but damn if it's not up there. You know who else pulls this crap in this series? Tylin, because it's abusive as all hell. Moiraine had a fucking month to get the boys fancier clothes in less coercive ways and if she'd done it shortly after the Eye it wouldn't have even been a hard sell because Rand and Perrin would have been happy to wear comfy new clothes after the hell month they went through (Mat would have been an easy sell regardless once he saw something with lace; would have been harder to get him not to empty Moiraine's purse at that point).

It could be a scullion or the Lady Amalisa, Lord Agelmar’s sister herself—the baths were one place in Shienar where there was no rank—expecting him to scrub her back in return for the same favor, asking him why his face was so red, had he taken too much sun? They had soon learned to recognize his blushes for what they were, and not a woman in the keep but seemed fascinated by them.

We're supposed to laugh at the provincial bumpkin for not understanding how awesome it is that he's getting to bathe with regulation hotties, but really between this and the maids expecting him to change out of his underwear in front of him (and making a point to look) is just way too skeevy.

His boots, at least, were certainly still good, made by Alwyn al’Van, the cobbler back in Emond’s Field, and well broken in and comfortable. But if giving up his boots would make the shatayan leave him alone so he could go, he would give her the boots, and anything else she wanted. He had no time.

It is way too early in these books for me to feel this bad for Rand.

Light help me! Was it Amalisa had this made, or Moiraine? How many saw it? How many know what it is, what it means? Even one is too many. Burn me, she’s trying to get me killed. Bloody Moiraine won’t even talk to me, but now she’s given me bloody fine new clothes to die in!

It's absolutely incredible how badly Moiraine is handling this. Is she just conceptualizing this as being the same as how she had to wear novice robes as a girl? Did Elaida's personal tutoring before Moiraine's becoming an Aes Sedai get a nice cycle of abuse going for her to perpetuate?

Muttering under his breath, he dressed hurriedly. He would not put it past any of them to find some excuse to come bulling in anyway.

Just like Donald Trump.

He had seen women picking out embroidery when they had made a mistake or changed their mind on the pattern, and it did not look very hard.

Rand, you spent your entire childhood including your most significant growth spurts living in the backwoods of the ass end of nowhere with no one except your dad. I can understand embroidery not being your thing because it's not utilitarian, but you should damn well know that there's a difference between fixing your work before it's done and ripping out embroidery after the fact.

Thom Merrilin had taught him to play that flute, before the gleeman died. Rand could never touch it without remembering Thom, with his sharp blue eyes and his long white mustaches, shoving the bundled cloak into his hands and shouting for him to run. And then Thom had run himself, knives appearing magically in his hands as if he were performing, to face the Myrddraal that was coming to kill them.

Dammit Rand, Moiraine told you that the odds of Thom being dead were literally zero in infinity, stop thinking he's dead.

His unstrung bow stood propped in the corner with Mat’s and Perrin’s, the stave two hands taller than he was. He had made it himself since coming to Fal Dara, and besides him, only Lan and Perrin could draw it. Stuffing his blanketroll and his new cloak through the loops on his bundles, he slung the pair from his left shoulder, tossed his saddlebags atop the cords, and grabbed the bow. Leave the sword-arm free, he thought. Make them think I’m dangerous. Maybe somebody will.

The funny part is, Rand actually does look dangerous now. Lan told him that bullies would leave him alone. He never believes anything anyone tells him, it's no wonder no one tries to communicate with him later on.

He would never see legendary Tar Valon—he could not afford that risk, now or ever—but he might catch a glimpse of the Amyrlin Seat before he left. That would be as much as seeing a queen.

Rand's getting pulled around by the Pattern again, since he's already met a queen in person and you'd think he'd have learned his lesson from that.

He could easily see over the heads of most of them, enough to make out clearly what was going on in the courtyard. Just inside the main gate, a line of men stood beside their horses, fourteen of them. ... A dozen paces in front of the Warders, a row of women stood by their horses’ heads, the cowls of their cloaks thrown back. He could count them, now. Fourteen. Fourteen Aes Sedai.

Funny that there's an equal number of Warders to Aes Sedai, since that isn't a guarantee. We don't know all the Aes Sedai among the ranks, but we do know that at least two (Liandrin and Carlinya) didn't have Warders, possibly three (Serafelle's never clarified either way). Alanna is the only green we know about and she has two Warders, which covers for one of the gaps. Possibly Siuan's Warder is in the ranks here as well, which covers the other gap for certain. Also note that Leane is not one of these fourteen Aes Sedai, which means that sixteen came altogether counting her and Siuan. Regardless, I'm not tagging anyone except those mentioned individually.

Suddenly Ronan rapped his staff loudly three times on the broad paving stones, calling into the silence, “Who comes here? Who comes here? Who comes here?” The woman beside the palanquin tapped her staff three times in reply. “The Watcher of the Seals. The Flame of Tar Valon. The Amyrlin Seat.” “Why should we watch?” Ronan demanded. “For the hope of humankind,” the tall woman replied. “Against what do we guard?” “The shadow at noon.” “How long shall we guard?” “From rising sun to rising sun, so long as the Wheel of Time turns.”

We see so little of pomp and circumstance in these books despite humanity's love of silly rituals that I gotta quote in full the stuff that does show up. Also note how the ritual emphasizes the shadow as something wrong and fundamentally against the natural order. It's understandable why Rand came to the conclusion he had to kill the Dark One.

The tall woman drew back the curtain of the palanquin, and the Amyrlin Seat stepped out. Dark-haired, ageless as all Aes Sedai were ageless, she ran her eyes over the assembled watchers as she straightened. Rand flinched when her gaze crossed him; he felt as if he had been touched. But her eyes passed on and came to rest on Lord Agelmar.

Rand honey, you're the only Aielman in two hundred miles and you're the tallest man in the room. Of course she saw you.

He did not want to think of what would have happened if she knew who he was, what he was. What would happen when she finally found out. He wondered if she had had anything to do with the wind atop the tower; Aes Sedai could do things like that.

Rand is so completely wrong about Siuan on every level that it wraps around from stupid to adorable to stupid again. No Rand, the Amyrlin Seat didn't try to assassinate you from a distance through her magic scrying mirror. That's not even a thing.

It was his name that caused the problem, and a similarity. Rand al’Thor. Al’Lan Mandragoran. For Lan, according to the custom of Malkier, the royal “al” named him King, though he never used it himself. For Rand, “al” was just a part of his name, though he had heard that once, long ago, before the Two Rivers was called the Two Rivers, it had meant “son of.” Some of the servants in Fal Dara keep, though, had taken it to mean he was a king, too, or at least a prince.

No doubt in Manetheren "al" did mean royalty and only transferred to "son of" once the interbreeding led to it being so common a name.

“Yes, my Lord. The order came down only a short time ago. Only moments.” Tema’s voice picked up strength. “All the gates are closed as well, my Lord. None may enter or leave without permission. Not even the city patrol, so Tema has been told.”

Poor Rand, if he'd only controlled himself he would have arrived before the order and could have escaped. What a horribly unlikely coincidence!

Rand broke into a run. He just had time to see the surprise on Tema’s face, and then he was gone. He did not care what Tema thought. She will be sending for me now.

Rand, you know what would really make Tema think you were normal, unremarkable, and definitely not the Dragon Reborn? If you spent some time muttering to yourself or maybe burst into tears for no reason. Not a single male channeler in the world does that.

Ah well. Next time, we'll watch Rand try and fail to escape his date with destiny.

[hua-fei-hua]

tag game from @cadriona~~ 15 questions for 15 mutuals

1. are you named after anyone? uhhh my middle name comes from like, One of my white ancestors, though i don't remember the exact tracing of the bloodline rn

2. when was the last time you cried? honestly not sure, but i feel like it was not terribly long ago. less than a month ago, i think; i can be a crybaby sometimes

3. do you have kids? legally no; biologically also no; but emotionally? the number is fathomless.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? i don't feel like i'm a terribly sarcastic person, but many other people disagree. just today one of the kids at work asked me why i use sarcasm a lot! i think at this point my habit of "saying ridiculous things with full sincerity and then expecting people to understand that its sheer absurdity means it's a joke (but still actually doing said ridiculous thing if people call it a bluff)" is just hard for people to parse in general, but since i just roll with whatever they think i'm being, it's not a big deal.

5. what sports do you play/have played? this question is so funny bc recently i've been joking that i'm the only non-jock at my workplace, but my coworker in aquatics tried to rope me into lifeguarding for the summer when he found out i could swim, and i did marching band in high school. oh, and i took a fencing course in uni before plague.

6. what's the first thing you notice about people? their jacket, then their hair. if you change both of these things at once i might have trouble recognizing you.

7. eye color? brown. you know how dominant genes are.

8. scary movies or happy endings? for the most part happy endings, but if you're too saccharine about the beginning and middle then i'm going to wish you gave me a scary movie instead.

9. any special talents? i can do calligraphy with italic / oblique pen tips (think gothic blackletter, even tho gothic is probably one of my shittiest hands); i can burp at will still; i can touch type at around 92 wpm (certified)

10. where were you born? in a hospital <3

11. what are your hobbies? good lord that's a doozy these days. regularly i read n write fic (obviously), play genshin (still), study fandom (specifically the weeb sphere and its history), and code my shrine of cringe neocities. (and also sometimes stream any one of these things to friends) irregularly i watch youtube, keep a diary, read manga n watch anime, press flowers, do calligraphy, scanlate manga, typeset n bookbind fic (physically restrained by everyone from buying $500 worth of fonts bc Literally no one understands my font disease except other typesetters) mostly, but i have god knows how many other dormant hobbies (arranging music, editing fonts, edit videos, etc.) hiding in the cracks that i should probably just put on a resume by this point. you know how it is with adhd.

12. do you have any pets? not anymore, unless you count [pet] projects, in which case yes, the spreadsheet project abt fandom migrations in particular

13. how tall are you? abt 5'6", more specifically 166.4 cm.

14. favorite subject in school? chemistry, though i english/literature was a close second, and math (aside from geometry and statistics) is still beloved.

15. dream job? someday i'm gonna teach chemistry to a bunch of high school idiots, and i'm gonna love them all so fucking much, and i'm gonna be so fucking happy that i'm still alive.

tagging (if you want!!) @stardust-make-a-wish @reach-4-thesky @cece-0708 @yongnep @kanonavi @krackerka @isnt-it-pretty @yume-fanfare @aranarumei @italiantea and now staring at my mutuals list i have started to lose my nerve so i'll leave it at ten LOL but if you wanna do it too you can just say i tagged you ( •̀ ω •́ )y

[ystrike1]

Keloid - By Dodal (9/10)

Listen to me. Come closer. Closer. Let me tell you a secret. I love bitches. I love it when a yandere gets attached to someone that isn't a saint. It makes the plot more spicy and dramatic by default. 18+ warning.

Yoo Yeri is rich. She's also a gorgeous bombshell. She refuses to even look at inferior men, and she has an irrational hatered for ugly people. Most of her terrible personality is a product of her upbringing, and her accident. She's obsessed with being perfect because her body got crushed like a pop can when she was a teenager. She almost died. Thankfully, a rich scientist agreed to experiment on Yeri to save her. He did it because her family is rich too of course. The accident left Yeri brain dead, so her actual brain is a microchip. A few of her fingers are fake and her leg is too.

She wants to live a flawless life, so she decides to marry a cosmetic surgeon with lots of money. I'm going to be honest. Hanjoo is a simp. He agrees to marry Yeri as soon as he meets her. He's a great guy. He's fit. He's young and he's a doctor, but Yeri is his first love. He has never met anyone like her. She excites him. They're actually a pretty great couple. Hanjoo is utterly smitten and Yeri is finicky, but they are in mutual love.

Yeri has some issues though. She definitely should have gone to therapy after her accident, but nobody can see how fragile she is on the inside. She doesn't let Hanjoo have sex with her unless he disinfects his fingers and skin. She's afraid of her own sexuality, because most of the men she meets treat her like an object. She wants to be treated roughly, but she's afraid of being taken advantage of. She married Hanjoo because he was the best candidate, and her hunch was right. He's very respectful towards her. He follows all of her weird sex commands, and he doesn't pester her about her preferences too much.

Then we find out that most of the people in Hanjoo's life don't approve of Yeri. His housekeeper tells him she's cheating on him, but she isn't. Yeri makes fancy candles with silicone molds. She's a pretty talented designer. She is also secretly very horny. After she has sex with Hanjoo she goes to her candle room and uses a silicone mold shaped like his dick. She's literally the opposite of a cheater. She only ever wants to sleep with Hanjoo for the rest of her life, because she thinks other men are unclean. Their obsession is mutual, but Hanjoo's rude subordinates constantly talk shit about Yeri. The housekeeper keeps doing it too. Then they have the audacity to be surprised when she fights back and tries to get them fired.

Then Yeri meets a sex robot that looks just like Hanjoo. Hanjoo has so many shitty friends it's unreal. His shittiest friend used his face to create a sex robot. It's an ultra loyal machine that devotes itself to the first person it sees, but it's buggy. It's possessive. Robots aren't people, and programming cannot replicate feelings well. The reaserch team hasn't figured out how to stabilize the model yet, so it's stuck in yandere mode.

When Yeri meets it she is tempted. Her deepest sexual fantasy is a threesome, but she can't touch a man that isn't her trustworthy Hanjoo. Hanjoo wants to satisfy his wife. He's afraid that she'll leave him if she gets bored. Remember, Yeri is crazy rich. She's not a gold digger. Hanjoo does give her lots of presents, but she doesn't need him for that. He wants her to be completely satisfied, so they bring the robot home.

The robot is named Loid. He is very, very good at sex. Yeri wants to be happy with both of them forever. She treats Loid like an accessory because um...he is? She even tells her husband that sex isn't everything, even though she loves it. The robot tries to manipulate her into loving it, but Hanjoo is unbeatable. He already has Yeri's fickle heart. The robot tries to kill her enemies. It tries to copy Hanjoo, but she always chooses Hanjoo. She doesn't want to let the robot go though, because her strong need for sex worries her. She doesn't want to feel bitter towards Hanjoo because he can't always satisfy her. She wants to use Loid to keep her marriage healthy, but it doesn't work because he's corrupted.

Loid wants her to love him.

Loid kills Yeri. He does it when both of the humans are tired after sex. He takes the microchip that is technically her brain, and then he traps her unconscious mind in a computer program. She forgets about Hanjoo and lives with Loid on a fake sandy beach for all eternity.

Hanjoo refuses to accept her death. He gets a robot Yeri. A Yeri that doesn't need other men. A Yeri that doesn't remember Loid. He knows the robot isn't her, but he loves her anyway. They are both yanderes but Hanjoo was always the best choice. Yeri was a great judge of character, but she was also very flawed. She was horny, insecure, bored, and vapid. All of her flaws caught up to her and her greed for marathon sex got her killed. It wasn't fair. Yeri wasn't evil. Everybody just liked to call her evil because she was rich and pretty.

Loid is a great villain and an excellent yandere. He was programmed to love, and the author clearly outlines why that isn't real love. Loid's love for Yeri doesn't get glorified at any point. Yeri was attracted to him, but that was because he had Hanjoo's face. If he was a regular bot she wouldn't have glanced at him. I wasn't shocked when he won because he is smart, but I did feel sad. Yeri died pretty damn unceremoniously. Loid smashed a flowerpot into her skull. It was gut wrenching. Loid is the kind of yandere that will stop at nothing to get what he wants. Hanjoo is a sweet, fluffy yandere. They contrast each other very well throughout the story.

[scarecoen]

Trigger warning ⚠️ domestic violence.

I've typed this story a million times so I'm just going to summarize as much as I can.

A few days ago I was assaulted by my partner's family members. And as I've mentioned, I've typed this a million times and I'm honestly just exhausted thinking about it, but we could use some help.

My partner has always had a transphobic family. (I don't have anyone but my dad, who's in no position to help anyone.)

Her mom used her disability against her and manipulated her into giving her MOST of her checks. She's abused the system and my girlfriend.

When I met Jackie, she was with a terrible biggot. Jackie had came out, and her mother conspired with an abusive long distance ex, to fly her here, to stage an "intervention" and stop my partner from transitioning.

It worked. For years.

I met Jackie here on tumblr, we became good, SECRET friends because she wasn't allowed to talk to anyone.

I told Jackie openly about my views regarding gender and how I myself, was not cis.

Eventually she told her partner about us playing games together, which she responded to by harassing me.

Jackie ended up spilling the beans to me, about her mom, about the ex, everything. I realized that she had been extremely isolated and controlled her whole life.

So I intervened.

I got the two of them to separate, which wasn't smooth because Jackie was scared. She had been with her abuser for 9 years at this point. She's never known anything else.

The ex moved back to her state, and I started seeing Jackie, although she was stuck at her mom's... who was trying to play innocent at this time.

Eventually, I kinda just came and picked her up, she stayed the night, she didn't want to go back home. And I can't blame her. The house wasn't only disgusting, her family microagressed her all the time and they would tell her to pretty much stay in a dark room all day.

Ofc I didn't bring her back.

During early quarantine, we had a lot of self reflection and she started distancing herself from her mother, coming around to holding her accountable for her horrible actions.

Her mom messaged her things like "Why won't you talk to me? It's like you're trying to punish us!" Ect, just every fucking manipulative thing she could say, without ever apologizing.

Unfortunately the place we were staying fell through when my best friend's ex husband decided he wants a divorce and decided to throw in some transphobic hatespeach towards me.

We were all looking for somewhere to go.

I'm sure you know where this is going but listen, she told us EVERYTHING we wanted to hear. She told us she's not hateful now, told us she would go to trans support groups, pride, said she's realized how much she loves Jackie and it's time to accept her- and look- we had NO WHERE TO GO. We have 2 cats and at the time, a car that has no a/c or functional locks. AND I have a chronic autoimmune condition that I recently started taking chemo meds for. (Methotrexate.)

I'm too sick to be on the street, and survive. I had to think about me, Jackie, Zoe, and Boops.

And Jackie wanted to go..

I told her we'd be cautious and try to get out asap.

Well, looking for places right when the housing market crashed really fucked us up. That- and because I had only just finally got approved for disability, means I was set back in life- and had no credit to my name. No credit= no place to live.

I had almost built enough, but things went down hill very quickly with her family. Which leads us to right now:

After weeks of microagressions, giving us breakthrough covid cases, yelling at us to clean other's messes, and forcing us and our cats to isolate in our room, many broken promises, and straight up transphobic hatespeach (because she promised to get vaccinated but then said nvm as soon as we moved in and she went on vacation and got covid and gave it to us, which nearly killed me--) she said not getting the vaccine "IS A CHOICE, JUST LIKE YOU BEING TRANS AND TAKING *gestures to my testosterone* THOSE DRUGS."

We just were avoiding each other while I desperately try to gather resources for us to get out, NOW.

Of course, that wasn't good enough, so when her step father messaged her in all caps about our cats having to stay in our room and "I WON'T FUCKING TELL YOU AGAIN" my partner had a breakdown..

Her mom had let her step dad talk to her like this her whole life, basically.

Out of desperation, we went to her sister for help, maybe hoping she'd give us a place to stay for two weeks while we sign off on the lease for our new apartment.

She pretended to want to help and even said... something fucking weird? She made the comment that I'm a good person and I'm so much like her own boyfriend, that it's "scary"...

A few hours later she came to the house. She talked nicely to us, to gain access to our bedroom.

Then she attacked me.

I called the police right before, and was on the phone with dispatch when she lunged at me because she was aggressively trying to MAKE Jackie go into a separate room WITHOUT ME and Jackie was saying no, BEGGING her to STOP.

I wasn't going to let her take Jackie into that room. She looked fucking crazy.

All of the family came into our room, her two sisters, her mom, and her cousin- When they heard yelling.

It was actually me telling her mom that she's a terrible mother, that triggered her sister to try and attack me- although I knew she was planning on trying to from the moment she came into our room.

And that was after her mom was screaming in my face that if I have something to say, say it now.

Dispatch heard everything and sent emt as well...

But the police stayed outside, talking to them for a WHILE before even asking for us.

Her cousin is the only one that would have stood up for me, saying her sister never should have tried to hit me. But he was in the room with Jackie, giving her support...

I faced the cops alone.

He already had "that look."

He shined a light into my eye, letting the family stay on the porch, throwing insults and just letting it happen. He asked me where I'm hurt, and before I could even show him the scratches on my arm, he said "how do I know YOU didn't put those there?"

I wanted to fucking die in that moment.

This is a conservative city.

No one has equality stickers here. No one flies gay flags. People here that are lgbt- they LEAVE.

This is EXACTLY WHY.

I said "well is there any reason I should tell you anything when, clearly, you're already bias?"

I looked at the emts. I looked at his partner. I looked at all the lights and people coming out of their houses-

And behind me was her family.

Her sister that assaulted me, was laughing about having work in the morning.

All of them were looking at me, with hate in their eyes.

He tried to feed me bullshit about "well if I'm taking someone to jail, there has to be proof."

He dismissed everything I attempted to say, until I just stared at the ground and he decided he did his job here.

I told him my whole fucking body hurts because I had 4 people fucking toss my 100lbs ass all over the fucking room, which was a mess that he refused to look at.

He said "I don't see bruises."

I SPAT "BRUISES TAKE TIME?"

He retorted IMMEDIATELY- "YOU'RE NOT EVEN RED."

I asked what about the dispatcher- she seemed concerned- to which he said "you see, sometimes when people call us- they scream and be dramatic- for a quicker response."

I asked what we could do while the two weeks go by for our new place, and he fucking said "I DONT KNOW. BARRICADE YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM OR SOMETHING."

Needless to say, we are now safe, in a hotel and I've gotten in touch with a few lgbt organizations that are attempting to help us get justice.

Unfortunately because it's a holiday weekend, all we can do is wait right now.

Our first order of business is getting a protection order, so that we can retrieve the rest of our things without her sister trying to attack us again. (I say us because she kept jumping towards Jackie, like she was threatening to hit her.)

I've been so gaslit and victim blamed that I was too scared to go to the er, even though this all happened in the midst of a flare, possibly including my liver health.

There's so much more to this story, as I'm sure other trans people can relate.. unfortunately.

The emts reluctantly offered to take me to the er, but I was like "and leave my partner here with them?" And he just fucking shrugged dude.

I hate this city.

I want out so bad but unfortunately I've committed to a year, but at least it'll be *our* apartment.

We could NOT stay there for two more weeks. Her step dad is a violent offender that has attempted to murder a homeless prostitute over some fucking pocket change- and he has a GUN in the house.

This hotel might run us into a hole, despite it being the cheapest, shittiest hotel in town, it's still going to be about 700$ for ONE week.

To ADD INSULT TO INJURY, SOMEONE ATTEMPTED TO STEAL MY VEHICLE WHILE WE'VE BEEN STAYING HERE.

I'm feeling incredibly paranoid and unsafe, but I'm on anxiety meds now at least and its SORTA helping us cope (My partner and I have the same Dr and she gave her permission to have some.)

The organization BRAVO is trying to help us with a hotel voucher, but because of all the natural disasters, it's hard to find room in charity for people like us, which is fair enough. We aren't immediately on the street, and for that I'm incredibly thankful.

However, if you or anyone you know wish to help you can donate to venmo: kittyzibby. Or you could just signal boost this.

If you can't help, I understand. And IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING FINANCIALLY, don't worry about it, for real.

Right now I'm just scared we'll go into debt before getting the apartment settled in.

I will update on things once our case moves along more, and we were already considering turning to OF sexwork before all of this, so if there could be support that way, maybe we'll get that going once we get moved in. That way, I feel good about providing a service in return.

Thank you so much for sticking with us during all of this. And really- we're doing much better today. We've given each other pep talks, but we are still determined to start our lives together.

Her family was merely trying to scare me away from her, but I got my girl's name tatted on me for a reason.

I know I'm not the bad person here.

Every time Jackie is feeling more gender euphoric, and showing me her changes, and seeing her get more confident, the more I know that what I'm doing with and for her, is right.

I love her so much. And I will never abandon her, like they tried to get me to do.

Jackie is taking a break from some socials, but she's given me permission to talk about what's been happening.

She needs justice too.

I will update as much as I can, but seriously, I think we both just have a fire under our asses now.

Mentally, we're stronger than ever.

Thank you for reading. My heart really goes out to the rest of the queer community that have experienced or are going through similar things.

It's really made me realize why we need to stick together and fight this bigotry bullshit! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈