#i feel like she just thinks that looking into a murderer's psyche is super fascinating

[pe4chpunch]

modern au but the adora, catra, bow, and glimmer are all big youtubers for no reason 😭😭

adora is a gamer,, probably does a lot of minecraft content on his channel as well as horror games (they’re a big baby and get scared easily 😔😔). catra is a musician and posts a lot of her own music as well as song covers,, maybe she’d even do lyric breakdowns and things like that. bow would be a tech channel for sure,, he does PC builds, tech reviews, maybe some game reviews. he’d do things like switch customizations too. as for glimmer, she’d definitely have a channel all about true crime and just grim stuff in general. i just like the idea bc it goes against her whole pink cutesy girly aesthetic 😔 i just wanna hear her talk about murder

[u23art]

A LOOK AT NEO: THE WORLD ENDS WITH YOU (SPOILERS AHEAD)

A Look at Neo: The World Ends With You (Spoilers Ahead) The World Ends With You was and is a very special video game. It wasn’t just a typical RPG, it was an experience that took the gimmick of the DS’s two screens and created a wholly unique style of combat. That combat would in turn compliment the characters, and those characters would enrich the story all the more. Anyone who played it through fell in love with it and waited enthusiastically for any kind of follow up to it. And on July 27th, 2021, Neo: The World Ends With You. The story is a familiar affair. The protagonist Rindo gets sucked into the Reaper game and his party has to survive over the course of a week or 3. The gameplay consists of fighting the enemies such as the noise and the Reapers, collecting and leveling up pins, replaying segments with time travel, “remind” mini games and deep diving into NPCs for fighting challenges. This game, is middling at best. I’ll explain this by drawing comparisons between Neo and TWEWY, an entirely fair comparison to make. First on the chopping block, the combat. The first game required the player to split their attention between controlling one character (Shiki, Joshua and Beat) with the directional pad on the top screen, and then activating pin psyches with the stylus on the bottom screen with Neku. It sounds like a mess on paper potentially but it could be mastered. By making uninterrupted combos you could build up a meter to 3 levels which could unleash limit break moves with visual flair unique to the partner character you have at the time. In Neo, everyone uses pins, and your interactions with your party members amounts to a tap of the buttons they’re mapped to. This can be a disorienting affair, especially when you have pins equipped to the trigger buttons on one side. This ends up making no particular character feel unique with the exception of their evasion animation. Psyches in the first game were a manifestation of characters channeling energy through objects, Shiki fought with Mr. Mew, Joshua with his phone and Beat with his skateboard. Only Neku had the power to fight with pins. In combat, the characters don’t matter, the pins do. When everyone’s super, no one is. The smaller touches peppered into the game during navigation like “remind” and “diving” are forgivable. Remind is a cute unscrambling mini-game and diving can provide extra fights with extra rewards. The character shoka’s ability, flight, is more often a miss as what could have been a useful fast travel option ends up being an option to look in nooks and crannies of the map with usually nothing to find. The absolute worst new edition to this game, is time travel. During points of the game, usually when you’re about to go up against an anticipated big fight, Rindo can take away a player’s right to choose and force you to replay segments. Within the context of the story, this is meant to make a fight easier despite the fact that a fight is supposed challenge a player in the first place and shouldn’t be something to avoid. You travel back and replay scenes but you have to select dialogue options to make the scene play out differently. Heck, most of the time there are no dialogue options, Rindo will automatically alter the scenario.

This is especially annoying during the final big stretch of the game. The final week boasts the grand finale of facing against Shiba, Kubo, and a giant noise phoenix. In a typical RPG, you earn the chance to face the ultimate foe when you’ve conquered the challenges in a final area. Before you can face these bosses, you have to cycle through eons of text as you repeat events over and over again so the characters can move events in their favor. This doesn’t build excitement or tension, this doesn’t challenge the player’s mastery over the gameplay, this is utterly deflating. Time travel in this game is wheel spinning fluff that asks nothing of the player and trivializes the problems in the game, and is a problem that’s reared it’s head in other Square games, but I digress. My next shortcoming I’ll be forthcoming with. With the exception of Shoka, the protagonists made for this game: Rindo, Fret and Nagi; they could not carry this game without the help of the legacy characters. At least not with how they were written. Sure, it’s conveyed that these characters have problems and insecurities to overcome, but I ask you this; at what point in the game did those 3 have any friction between eachother? They’re passive aggressive towards eachother, but that’s it.

Rindo has an apparent inability to make decisions as the game explains and yet uses time travel to fix events from the moment he realizes he has it. Fret forces himself to be cheery and deflects responsibility with no proper explanation besides a quick mention of how a friend of his died. Same with Nagi, why does she so heavily retreat towards her favorite game for comfort and obsess over collecting merchandise? There are arcs here ready to be explored yet they’re never leaned on or overcome, any chance to get meaningful stories out of these characters is squandered. In the spirit of fairness, Neku’s reason for being emotionally distant isn’t explored but that problem still manifested in captivating ways, like when he’s so indifferent about being involved with people that he was willing to murder Shiki to get out of the Reaper Game. Even without that, TWEWY still had strong personal stories with Shiki and Beat who both struggled to either be comfortable with themselves or overcome their feelings of inadequacy. On a petty point, design, specifically with Rindo and Neku. I hate Rindo’s design, his coat is outrageous and the mask annoys me. Not because he has one but because he’s not wearing right, if he’s not properly wearing it over his nose then it’s just a jaw bikini. As for Neku, he puts on display Nomura’s perpetual weird fascination with plaid that won’t go away and keeps appearing in his current character designs. His coat is dumb and clashes with his motif. Petty point #2, the final phoenix boss. It makes it’s appearance after very little build up after another villain was being built up….in a game about time traveling. I’m getting flashbacks to Final Fantasy XIII-2 and I don’t like that one bit.

I think there was potentially a good game to be had here, and here’s how I’d fix it. 1. One partner at a time. Bring back the double character play style, you couldn’t do it with touch features because the switch couldn’t replicate the DS experience in a way that’s comfortable to hold. But overcome that problem and you have time to explore the characters. 2. Shoka could have been the protagonist. She’s a recovering antagonist, that’s an issue to be explored and was such a waste to keep to the way side.

3. Character specific weapons. Rather than collect pins, shops could offer items the character could use as weapons. -Fret could manifest power from scarves. -Nagi could summon varients of her favorite Elestra character through her own preferred pins. -Beat would have Skateboards

-Neku could get a selection of pins to use. -Shoka could also summon, like monsters from FanGo because she cherished her time with Rindo. Give the characters abilities derivative of their personalities. Uniqueness for the characters is so important for the sake of the games name. The World Ends With You. Neku’s world was small to him because he isolated himself, by knowing other people did he learn life can be so much richer.

I understand my criticism is biting, but this game is a sequel in name only. TWEWY is a phenomenal game to have as a foundation to build upon, but this game at most becomes a cautionary tale of what you shouldn’t do when making a follow up to TWEWY. Please Square, have more thought put into the writing of your new RPGs. And for the love of God; Stop. Using. Time. Travel. In your stories. You sure do like having it in your games despite the fact that you don’t want to make games for the Chrono Trigger franchise anymore. Like time travel? You’ve already got a franchise for that.

[cherry-valentine]

Character Analysis: Fukuda Tamotsu

SPOILERS FOR ID: INVADED!!!!

So I wanted to do a write-up about Fukuda and sort of explore his character because I think he’s one of the most interesting characters to come along in a while and I feel like there were a lot of hints dropped about him and what he really wanted throughout the series. My conclusion is that he was a very lonely man who only really wanted a place to belong, a place to fit in, with people who understood him.

First of all, let me get this out of the way: Fukuda was a messed up person who did some messed up things. He murdered people in a particularly gruesome way (drilling a hole into their heads while they were alive and conscious). My write-up isn’t to excuse his crimes, but to possibly explain them and explain his motivations later in the series.

So let’s go over what we learn about Fukuda over the course of the series and how that relates to his actions in the end. The series opens in his id well, which gives us a fascinating glimpse of his psyche. The first thing we notice is that the entire world of his well is fractured and broken, which gives you a very good idea of what his mind is like, and how he views the world. He’s very much a broken, fractured person.

But let’s back up a bit. The first we actually see of Fukuda is a small picture of him on a screen at Kura, identifying him. He’s shown without his scar, so the picture was taken before he drilled the hole into his head. We’re told that he’s 33 years old, lives alone, and has no family. That alone isn’t super compelling, until you realize that inside his id well, there are photographs sitting around of various people that look like family photos, but turn out to be unrelated celebrities or athletes, famous people he probably saw on tv. This is the first hint that he’s a lonely person who perhaps wanted a family, and maybe even daydreamed that the people he saw on television were his family. Going even deeper, we see that, in his id well, his victims are literally living in his house as a family. One of the kura members finds this disturbing, but it’s pretty clearly a strong sign that Fukuda was desperate for a family connection, for a place to belong.

When his home is raided, it’s interesting that it’s quite bare. There are some cardboard boxes sitting around and very scant furnishings. But we know he’s been living there for at least three years (the flashback of him drilling his hole took place in one of the rooms we see, which took place three years prior). More signs of a lonely, depressed person.

When Fukuda meets Hondomachi, and she shoves her own head into his drill, Fukuda is not only shocked, but in awe of her. He openly states that he didn’t really want to drill holes into people, but instead wanted to see someone drill the hole themselves, like he’d done. Like Hondomachi had just done. It’s clear that he felt like she could understand him. He even asks her to come visit him if she survives.

Moving on, when he gets to Kura and begins working as a “Great Detective”, he begins calling Sakaido “kyoudai” (”sibling”, or better translated in this case as “brother”). Another sign that he’s looking for that familial connection. Then we get the case where he and Sakaido have to work together in the well, and the most interesting thing here is that Fukuda is so friendly. He’s almost comedic, using silly English phrases and lots of finger guns. What’s even more interesting is when we learn that he knew who he was and what was going on the entire time, so all of this was actually him, not a result of the amnesia. Some might think it was just an act to get on Sakaido’s good side, so that he could betray him later. But that doesn’t make sense either. In my opinion, Fukuda acted this way because he genuinely wanted to work together with Sakaido. Perhaps even wanted to be his friend. I think he only “betrayed” Sakaido later because his arithmomania was driving him insane, and he wanted Sakaido to kill him, not because of any actual ill will toward Sakaido. This is supported by the fact that Fukuda ends up helping out anyway, and also the fact that he retains some of the “silly” personality even after the truth comes out (he did the whole “English phrases and finger guns” thing with Hondomachi).

While we’re at this point of the series, let’s discuss his arithmomania. Apparently, it was bad enough to drive him mad, forcing him to drill a hole into his own head to make it stop. We learn that he did this three years prior, at the age of 30. It’s strongly implied that he never killed anyone until John Walker “recruited” him. So he spent the first thirty years of his life not hurting anyone. He drilled a whole into his head to stop the madness of arithmomania, which damaged his brain, causing him to view the world in a broken way. It was only after his brain damage that he became a killer. I just felt like all of this was worth pointing out, as it makes him stand out from the most of the other serial killers in the show.

Then we come to the scene that solidified my opinion of Fukuda. After “John Walker” shoots himself and escapes into his own well, Hondomachi and Narihisago start to go after him. Hondomachi says, “Fukuda Tamotsu, come with us!” There is a small flicker of surprise on Fukuda’s face. He looks at the corpse in the remaining cockpit and says he’ll pass (I find it funny that he’s a bit squeamish about this, as well as being squeamish about wearing the urine soaked clothes earlier). Narihisago yells for him to move the body and come on. Again, he looks a little surprised before shrugging and stepping forward to do as he’d been asked. Of course he falls unconscious before he can get into the cockpit, but he was definitely going to help. I think even his initial reluctance was a bit of a show as well. It really seems like he’s happy that he was included, that they saw him as a member of the team and wanted him to come along. Because he’d finally found a place he could belong, people who, at least to some degree, understood him.

The evidence is in the fact that he went to help Hondomachi, when he could have easily just hidden out in one of the wells. The show implies that only serial killers can move freely in that world, between wells. Fukuda even had experience in the wells, so it would have been simple for him to find the least dangerous well and just stay there, or keep moving between them to evade danger. He didn’t have to track Hondomachi down and he certainly didn’t have to help her escape her own well. Doing so strongly implies that he’d intended to help them all along.

And then, tragically, we get his death scene. I know there’s some confusion and debate about whether or not he actually died, but it looks bad, guys. I really, honestly, hope with all my heart that the people who believe he’s just comatose are right. But it sure looked like Hondo checked for a pulse, not to see if he was awake. Moving on, his death in the well was a very sad moment, but it was also his moment to shine. After giving Hondomachi some advice about the number seven, he says he intends to go back into her well for a while. I’m not going to discuss (much) the possibility that he’s developed romantic feelings for her. I ship them. I’ve shipped them since the first freaking episode, so I’m definitely a biased source on that matter. But it’s terribly obvious that he’s developed an affection for her, because he literally jumps in front of a bullet to save her.

As Fukuda dies, he tells Hondomachi that he’s so glad he could save her. She stays with him in his final moments, telling him that when she looks at him, she sees him as “whole”, without the hole or the scar. He seems comforted by this, saying that his hole is “filled” in Hondomachi. He was abile to be complete with her (and, to a lesser extent, Narihisago). Because he felt like he fit in with them, that he belonged there. In the end, he died satsified.

For me, what really struck me about all of this was that Fukuda was a lonely person in pain. It was ironic that only after being arrested and imprisoned did he find the “family” he’d always wanted, the completion. His place to belong.

[jtsodergren]

The Best of 2019

2019, what an exceptional year for movies! A great way to close out the shittiest decade! Here are the 50 best films I saw this year... click on the title to go to the IMDB page, and I’ll try to post a link to where you can see many of them. Also for the first time this year, I’m including MOM WARNINGS! My mom reads this list and sometimes actually watches these movies... so to save her some grief, sadness, or general concern for my psyche, there will be a NOT FOR MOMS!! warning where applicable... here we go!

50. STAR WARS - EPISODE IX: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (Amazon)

People really hated this movie... I actually really liked it! Aside from the horses running around on the outside of spaceships (which makes no fucking sense... didn’t Leia get all space frozen exactly one movie ago??), it was a satisfying conclusion to a franchise I guess I don’t really care about as much as other people, so I was into it!

49. JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 3 - PARABELLUM (Amazon)

Quickly becoming one of the more well produced action franchises of all time. Probably two too many machine gun shootouts in this one for me (I get a little exhausted with gun violence), but the hand-to-hand stuff is brilliant and bloody and badass! Not to mention the deepening of the mythology and Halle Berry and her dogs. It’s a fun time, a welcome addition to the series, and I can’t wait for number 4.

48. QUEEN & SLIM (Amazon)

Billed as the black BONNIE AND CLYDE and from first time feature director Melina Matsoukas, this atmospheric tragedy is gorgeous to look at, delivers a pair of standout lead performances, and proves to have one of the more stressful final 30min of any of the films I saw this year, even if you know the inevitable conclusion is just around the corner.

47. UNDER THE SILVER LAKE (Amazon PRIME)

A wild Los Angeles noir story from the director of IT FOLLOWS. Plays like if David Lynch directed THE BIG LEBOWSKI, a weird, screwball whodunit. It’s a little long, and there are so many loose ends that seem to be thrown in just to fuck with the protagonist (and the audience), but it’s a really fun time and you’ll want to stay to the end to see it all play out. LA looks gorgeous too.

46. KNOCK DOWN THE HOUSE (Netflix)

Truly inspiring. Really shows how if you put your mind to something, believe in yourself and that you can make a difference, you can accomplish anything. Regardless of your political leanings, or how you feel about AOC personally, this is well worth your time and it has a great message for young people, especially those young women of color who might not think they can achieve great levels of success. It made me cry the happy tears.

45. LONG DAY’S JOURNEY INTO NIGHT (Amazon)

Best known for it’s remarkable 59min-3D final take, this hallucinatory journey through memory and dreams is mind-blowing and breathtaking. Hard not to leave this one feeling like you’ve been put though some kind of experiment that you don’t fully understand, but you’ll want to experience again. Highly recommended if you have access to 3D, or simply have some killer edibles and want to be thrown for a loop.

44. CLIMAX (Amazon PRIME)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

Speaking of being under the influence, holy shit is this film nuts! From Gaspar Noe, who if you’re aware of his work, you kind of already know what you’re in store for here. It’s been described as “FAME directed by the Marquis de Sade”... incredible dance sequences and audacious camerawork that slowly but surely devolves into hell. It’s a blast!

43. HAIL SATAN? (Hulu)

A fresh and funny documentary about a group of smartass Satanists exposing the hypocrisy amongst bible-thumping Christians who’d rather stomp their feet and be the loudest in the room than listen to anyone else’s perspective. Frustrating and entertaining in equal parts, this compulsively watchable film makes you want to scream at these Jesus freaks as much as you want to laugh along with the antics of these harmless, intelligent and organized troublemakers. An excellent time well spent.

42. FIRST LOVE (Amazon)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

Director Takashi Miike’s yakuza action-comedy is the most accessible of his films I’ve seen (he’s now made more than 100 movies, which is insane), but that doesn’t mean it’s not a gonzo wild time at the movies. The violence is here in full force, but unlike AUDITION or ICHI THE KILLER, you don’t need a barf bag close by to enjoy it. It’s often hilarious and moves at a breakneck speed. Super fun!

41. THE DEAD DON’T DIE (Amazon PRIME)

Jim Jarmusch’s star-studded, droll zombie-comedy came and went from theaters without much fanfare, but provided me with plenty of laughs. It’s also the second of 3 Adam Driver vehicles to be on this year’s list. Bill Murray and Driver lead the way along with plenty familiar faces in cameos throughout (including the RZA in one of my favorite scene’s of the year). Classic Jarmusch... a meditation on death and mortality in his vintage style.

40. EL CAMINO: A BREAKING BAD MOVIE (Netflix)

Dude, Aaron Paul is a legit GREAT actor. Picks up right where the show left off, and I was on the edge of my seat and filled with anxiety just like I was during the best moments of the now classic series. It was good to hang out with my old friends again.

39. DOCTOR SLEEP (Amazon)

A box office flop due to poor promotion and a title people weren’t familiar with, this sequel to THE SHINING is based on the Stephen King book of the same name, which I read, and I can’t recommend it more. Great suspense, and fantastic performances from both Ewan McGregor and (especially) Rebecca Ferguson. It’s a dark and scary film that is a fun trip back to the Overlook Hotel... provided you wish to return there...

38. THE LAST BLACK MAN IN SAN FRANCISCO (Amazon PRIME)

About 90min into this beautifully shot film I was ready to lock it in as a possible Top 5 contender. Then the bottom fell out for me the last quarter of the movie and lost my confidence. No bother, it’s still wonderful enough to find a spot on the list and carry my recommendation. Young men and women watching their city change before their eyes, and wondering what the concept of “home” really means is a real challenge facing many people here in the Bay Area. This film does a fantastic job conveying that, for most of the film anyway. 

37. THE PEANUT BUTTER FALCON (Amazon)

A bonafide crown-pleaser of a movie, and another example of the true talent Shia LeBeouf has and is capable of (more on him later). A young man with Down Syndrome escapes his assisted-living facility to track down his wrestling idol the Saltwater Redneck with the help of an outlaw and a social worker. Sweet, funny, and heartfelt... a feel good surprise.

36. A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD (Amazon)

I didn’t cry nearly as much as I did during the excellent documentary WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR from last year, but if you’re a Mr. Rogers fan, you’ll still shed a few during this heartwarming film. Tom Hanks does his thing, and even though this movie is guilty of borrowing a little too much from the previous doc, it’s still a great showcase for the truly selfless and beautiful force of nature that Fred Rogers was. Bring tissues anyway.

35. CARMINE STREET GUITARS (In Theaters Now)

A love letter to both New York City and the art, joy, and love that goes into honing and maintaining one’s craft. Meanwhile the looming doom of gentrification hovers over the proceedings, never letting you get fully enrapt in the sweetness that these artists (and their many famous customers) exude when talking about and playing their one-of-a-kind works of art. A stunning and lovely piece for musicians and talentless fans of music alike.

34. HOLIDAY (Amazon)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

A tough, cold film with nary a character to actively root for... until after about an hour of icy behavior comes (no pun intended) a scene so shocking in its graphic and disturbing nature, people left the theater without staying for the final resolution. First time director Isabella Eklof pulls off the bold and audacious maneuver, all while making it seem like she doesn’t care whether you like her characters (or her film) at all. It’s a very fine balancing act, executed to perfection. But be warned... it’s rough.

33. AVENGERS: ENDGAME (Disney+)

What can I say? You saw it. It’s good. A bunch of Supermans fly around and blow shit up. A satisfying end (until the next 20 films).

32. MIDSOMMAR (Amazon Prime)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

A disturbing slow burn of a gothic horror film. Characters do hallucinogens while ritualistic religious murders and tribal mating practices threaten to ruin everyones existence. Florence Pugh is phenomenal (more from her in a minute) in a very trying roll. Doesn’t pack quite the punch of the director’s last film, HEREDITARY, but it’s still well worth the watch. But yeah, it’s disturbing.

31. APOLLO 11 (Hulu)

A fascinating look at the first moon landing from rarely seen archival footage and audio. Seeing it on the IMAX screen was intense and exhilarating, unlike narrative pictures like the severely overrated FIRST MAN. This isn’t my favorite documentary of the year, but it is an absolute lock to win the Academy Award for Best Doc of 2019. It’s a must see, a must experience.

30. HIGH LIFE (Amazon PRIME)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

French auteur Claire Denis’ bizarre, erotic sci-fi mindfuck about isolation and humanity is not for everyone, but is a brilliant take on the genre, and is yet another showcase for Robert Pattinson, who is quietly becoming one of my favorite working actors. Juliette Binoche also is on fire here and has what one critic calls “the single greatest one-person sex scene in the history of cinema.” So it has that going for it.

29. TRIPLE FRONTIER (Netflix)

A fully loaded heist film with no real bad guy, but instead a group of recognizable badasses in a Netflix-released action thrill ride. There’s absolutely no reason this should’ve worked, or even been half as good as it is, but boy is it good! Compulsively watchable, and rewatchable. If this were on Showtime as much as DEN OF THIEVES is I’d have seen it 30 times by now. It’s one of the most pleasant surprises of the year.

28. 1917 (Amazon)

An unbelievable visual achievement from cinematographer Roger Deakins and director Sam Mendes. The story isn’t the greatest war story ever told (are there great war stories?), but it’s shot to look like one continuous long take, sustained for 2hrs. It’s really an unbelievable feat, but doesn’t come off as gimmicky or distracting. It’s intense, beautifully staged, and sad. A big screen spectacle. 

27. TOY STORY 4 (Amazon)

Woody and the gang are back, and the films continue to keep the dust from collecting. It’s still so much fun to hang out with this group of misfit toys. There was talk that after the incredible TOY STORY 3 this was just a money grab and was labeled unnecessary, but I found it to be a sweet, charming, and nostalgic trip I was glad I took.

26. HONEYLAND (Hulu)

My pick for documentary of the year comes from the mountains of Macedonia, where a woman named Hatidze lives with her dying mother making a living cultivating honey. When a family of shitheads moves into a shanty next door, what seems like a fix for her lonely existence becomes catastrophic as they disregard her teachings and threaten her livelihood. I was an emotional wreck throughout the experience and it goes without saying it’s a must-see. Gorgeous and heartbreaking.

25. LITTLE WOMEN (Amazon)

I have never read the book, nor seen any of the film adaptations, so I went in blind to this lovely film. Director Greta Gerwig follows up the phenomenal LADYBIRD with this Altman-esque rendition of the widely beloved literary classic. I found it exceptional in its execution and performances, including the previously mentioned Florence Pugh, who is a knockout. A wonderful addition to the ever-growing stable of Christmas films I look to enjoy during future Decembers.

24. GREENER GRASS (Hulu)

It’s as if Tim & Eric made BLUE VELVET. Bizarre, outrageous, gross, and a guaranteed future midnight movie favorite. My sides hurt. A satire skewering upper-middle class suburban soccer moms and dads alike. Babies are given away. A boy turns into a dog. Everyone has braces. There’s a creep on the loose. It’s wild and flat-out hilarious literally from start to finish. Almost too many jokes to keep up with. Watch it! Bring weed. 

23. RELAXER (Amazon)

NOT FOR MOMS!!

Speaking of gross, this film is disgusting, but in a good way. A satire about lazy consumerism and self-destruction. It’s a short hang, thankfully, but if you can stomach it to the end (remember, it’s nasty) you’ll be rewarded with not only a hilarious dark comedy, but also an unexpected haymaker of sadness you didn’t see coming. It’s a pretty impressive feat, and an overall success. But, yeah, it’s fucking gross. 

22. AD ASTRA (Amazon)

APOCALYPSE NOW in space starring Brad Pitt. If you need more information than that, I don’t really know what else to do for you. 

21. SLUT IN A GOOD WAY (Amazon PRIME)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

A black-and-white raunchy French arthouse teen comedy that gives a middle finger to the double standard set by the equally raunchy teen-boys-will-be-boys genre. It’s so much fun, and honest, and the actors are such natural talents you forget the subject matter is at times shocking (only because of said double standard) and just go with it. I think it’s just wonderful. Seek it out!

20. US (HBO)

Jordan Peele’s excellent follow-up to GET OUT. Doppelganger home invasion terror with a killer twist. To describe more would be to risk giving something away. I’ll just say that Lupita Nyong’o is my pick to win her second Oscar, this time as Best Actress, here in a dual role. She’s incredible. If you haven’t seen it, try to go in blind, you’ll be rewarded.

19. THE FAREWELL (Amazon PRIME)

A heartfelt homecoming film about family, culture, and how the things we don’t say can be just as strong of a show of love as the things we do say. It’s sweet, tender, and bursting with personal flare and emotions from director Lulu Wang. Awkwafina also curbs her more manic and loud tendencies as a performer for more quiet, thoughtful, and somber choices. She’s phenomenal. 

18. KNIVES OUT (Amazon)

A clever ensemble whodunit that’s just as funny and smart as it is mysterious. Everyone across the board delivers as the assorted motley crew. The film rewards repeat viewings and Daniel Craig knocks it out of the park, stealing every scene he’s in, reminding us all what a fantastic actor he can be when he’s not sipping the Vespers. 

17. BOOKSMART (Hulu)

The female SUPERBAD is the elevator pitch, but this coming-of-age gem is really unlike any other example in the genre. They’re privileged, uber-smart, and have never partied. Yet they have the same neuroses as any other teen scared to death of what to do next or how to be normal. It’s also fucking hilarious. You wanna hang out with these girls and at the same time bury your head under the covers because you feel their pure terror/embarrassment. It’s a blast.

16. THE MUSTANG (Amazon)

Starring Matthias Schoenaerts, one of the finest actor’s working today, this understated and emotional drama about rehabilitation and redemption floored me upon first viewing. It is a gorgeous film. You’ve probably seen stories similar to this before, but rarely is one told with such compelling conviction. A borderline masterpiece. 

15. HONEY BOY (Amazon PRIME)

Remember a few years back we had the McConaissance, where everything Matthew McConaughey did was solid gold after years of middling bullshit? I’m calling it right now: Shia LaBeouf is about to have the same thing. He wrote the script and plays a version of his own father in a brutal version of his own fucked up childhood as an up-and-coming child actor. It’s heartbreaking and absolutely riveting. I’m hoping he gets an Oscar nod, but regardless I implore you to seek this film out, he’s incredible. 

14. MONOS (Hulu)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

A bizarre, bewildering, chaotic, and unsettling film. Some of the most beautiful photography I saw on the big screen this year, yet some of the most surreal and disturbing imagery as well. It’s a militarized, Latin American LORD OF THE FLIES with commentary on tribal behavior and violence. It can be a tough sit, but boy is it beautiful. 

13. DOLEMITE IS MY NAME (Netflix)

What a wonderful, welcome surprise! Eddie Murphy in an awards caliber performance as Rudy Ray Moore, the multi-hyphenate performer who created the alter ego Dolemite, spawning a film franchise and many legendary comedy albums. It’s obviously hilarious, and a great behind-the-scenes biopic, but also shockingly sweet and heartfelt, even between all the cuss words. I even teared up a couple times. The 3rd best thing Netflix released this year (more on that in a minute).

12. JOKER (Amazon)

You already saw this.

11. THE IRISHMAN (Netflix)

It’s far too long. It could’ve done with being cut as a three part miniseries or special. There’s about 45min worth of scenes that are quintessential DVD bonus features (I’m looking at you Action Bronson), but goddamn if it’s not Scorsese doing his Scorsese thing. It’s a gangster film, but it’s also a meditation on aging and death. Pesci is incredible and Pacino steals the show. Sure, the de-aging thing is distracting, the curb stomping scene is embarrassing. But still, I mean... IT’S MARTIN SCORSESE!

10. PAIN AND GLORY (Amazon)

Pedro Almodovar’s most personal work to date, a tale about making art and the loneliness of love. If you are unfamiliar with his work, this is a great jumping off point. His movies can be challenging and dark, but this film has such joy and hope amongst the heartache. The final reveal, while not earth shattering on paper, is nonetheless so moving it left the screening I attended without a dry eye in the place. It is his best film yet. 

9. THE LIGHTHOUSE (Amazon)

From the director of THE WITCH comes another type of gothic horror, this time with the legendary Willem Dafoe and the (already mentioned) brilliant Robert Pattinson marooned on a lighthouse rock alone to drive each other completely insane. It’s hallucinatory, violent, disorienting, and flat-out brilliant. If it weren’t for another guy we’ll get to in a minute, Dafoe would be a lock for Best Supporting Actor here. It’s a slightly challenging film, with the period style mariner dialogue, but it’s just as funny as it is terrifying.

8. JOJO RABBIT (Amazon)

A beautiful, touching, funny, crowd-pleasing comedy about a little Nazi whose imaginary friend is Hitler. Yep, your read that correctly. There are about a million reasons this should absolutely not work. Yet, it’s one of the best theater going experiences I had this year. A must see... ESPECIALLY with Mom!

7. MARRIAGE STORY (Netflix)

The best written and acted film of the year, and the third Adam Driver vehicle to appear here. Sad but honest. Touching but brutal. It’s awkward and a bit of a bummer, but there’s such great work being done here, in front of and behind the camera. Noah Baumbach is a force of nature, and has yet to make a film I was even iffy about. He’s the real deal and this might be his masterpiece. 

6. WAVES (Amazon)

Speaking of auteurs, Trey Edward Shults is now 3/3 on features after the brilliant KRISHA and IT COMES AT NIGHT. Here he follows a middle-class black family, led by a domineering father, through a tragic moment in all of their lives. The first half deals with the son’s story, then abruptly switches to the daughter’s life post said event. It shouldn’t work, yet somehow manages to be one of the most emotionally affecting pieces of art I saw this year. The camera never stops moving, constantly swirling and whirling and you can’t help to be sucked up into it. It’s a beautiful tragedy.

5. LONG SHOT (HBO)

The biggest and most pleasant surprise of the year. An opposites-attract rom-com with more brains, bite, social commentary, and laughs than it has any right to have. Easily the most fun you’ll have with (almost) the whole family... there’s a lot of cum jokes. But don’t let the vulgarity dissuade you! It’s a total riot with just the right amount of sweetness to balance out the saltiness. I love love love this movie.

4. THE ART OF SELF-DEFENSE (Hulu)

What starts as a strange, dark comedy morphs into a FIGHT CLUB-esque thriller with allusions to disturbingly toxic masculinity and an offbeat take on what it takes to “be a man.” It is laugh-out-loud hilarious, and expertly made, while really having something to say, and it says it in a way I’ve never really seen before. It’s not surprising this didn’t get more attention, the characters are truly difficult to relate to, let alone root for, but as far as originality goes, you’d be hard pressed to find anything this year much better than this. 

3. UNCUT GEMS (Amazon)

(Probably) NOT FOR MOMS!!

The cinematic equivalent of being locked in the brain of a lunatic having a cocaine-fueled anxiety attack. If that sounds like fun (AND IT IS!!!) then this is the film for you! Oh, and Adam Sandler is going to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Actor. For real. It’s a chaotic, stress-filled masterpiece.

2. ONCE UPON A TIME... IN HOLLYWOOD (Amazon)

My favorite filmmaker’s 2nd best film. A personal story about the love of film during the late 60s, a time of dirty hippies and Charles Manson, as well as the passing of the torch from old Hollywood to the “golden age” of cinema. It’s a fairytale of sorts, with Tarantino’s trademark flare for spontaneous violence and mining multiple genres to make his most mature work since PULP FICTION. I’ve been rewarded with new takeaways upon each subsequent viewing, and my love and appreciation for it only grows and grows. Brad Pitt is a lock for Best Supporting Actor, he’s magnificent. It was always going to be my #1 with a bullet no matter what, because it’s just that great...

1. PARASITE (Amazon)

...but then Bong Joon-ho, the master of new Korean cinema unleashed PARASITE. Not only is it the best film of 2019, it’s one of the best films I have ever seen. Like EVER ever. He is in such astonishing control of his craft it’s hard not to sit back and marvel and the sheer skill on display. You can be laughing one moment and then recoiling in horror during the same breath. He’s using multiple genre tropes, incredible set design, pitch perfect acting/writing, and such exquisite planning you can’t possibly know what’s in store for you from one scene to the next. It is an absolute masterpiece and if it doesn’t sweep every category it’s nominated for at this year’s Oscars, it’ll be a travesty. If you have even a passing interest in film as an art form, the power it can wield, and the messages it can convey, you owe it to yourself to see this film. It’s perfect.

Well, there it is. Thanks for reading any part of this. Now go see PARASITE. I love you.

[serenagaywaterford]

random thoughts:

jsyk, Serena swam in the place my dog poops. I hope Fred stepped in it. Die Fred.

(spoilers obvs)

NOT. ENOUGH. JANINE. the only time i cheered out the entire 3 episodes was that one glimpse of janine.

I got to see my girl Alma though which was lovely.

OMG. Can... I just... that scene with Emily walking through the hospital was the dumbest fucking, most American stupid scene ever on this show. It was so fucking cheesy and absolutely 10000% unrealistic. Who actually thought it was a good idea? They should be fired. Or sent to go work on Grey’s Anatomy or something. Not even that shitshow aka SVU would do something as painfully cliched and cheesy as that. Firstly, this show is fucking stupid. Okay. If all this shit was happening, Canada would have got like MILLIONS of refugees. Seeing the cops escort some raggedy refugee would be common af. Maybe it’s the baby thing? Still, Canadians aren’t gawkers like that. We also don’t like embarrassing displays like that. It’s so American it hurts.  NOBODY CLAPS LIKE THAT IN A FUCKING HOSPITAL. It’s a quiet place, okay. Also, why don’t any of these doctors have anything better to do? Anyway. I hated that scene so much.

Nick is so boring. So boring. He’s just a wet doughnut. I sorta liked him getting angry at June but also I wish I cared about anything he has to say. Bye Nick Bland. Good riddance.

Lawrence’s one liners? Funny. Lawrence? Disgusting awful psycho. I hate him sfm. 

Fred? Also disgusting. I hate him 10000x more. Everything about him is repulsive. He’s so much worse this season. I hate everything about his entitled, poor me, manpain. I hate hearing about any of his feelings. Fucking die already. I found him interesting enough as an antagonist in the show before but no longer. Redundant.

Beth. Too good for Nick. Too good for this world.

Too much staring. I AM SO SICK OF IT. It wastes time. Is redundant af at this point. I’m bored. Stop it.

Moss... um. Honey. I love you but... what the fuck was up with all the over-acting? 302 seemed particularly bad. Like I just can’t take it anymore. Who directed 302? They should be fired too for making her do that. Also, lady from Transparent, what the fuck was up with her acting?

Luke is useless. Like, I get it. I get why he’s a huge damp sulkbaby but I mean. I don’t want to see it? I’d rather just not see him at all cos literally I can’t recall a scene of him not being fucking useless or ignorant. Or half-assing it. I want to like Luke, honestly. But I just... don’t. I love the shit outta Moira and Erin, and I adored Moira/Emily interactions. But Luke? Miss me with his manpain.

Once again, I hate Lawrence. He is no good. He’s so fucking creepy and gross. I do not understand why people like him? And I don’t mean, “I don’t know why people like this character.” I mean, “I don’t understand why people like this person.” As a character, sure, he’s interesting and revolting and does his role well. He’s even got some funny lines and Whitford has great delivery. I mean these people who LIKE HIM. As a person. They think he’s great and a good guy. I don’t get it. Are we watching the same show? He’s a great character and a terrible person. That said, he’s still a dude and I’m not about to say he’s such a great character that I want to know all about him. Nah, bros. I wanna know all about Emily, Moira, Serena, Janine, Alma... and June I suppose but we already have quite enough of her. I don’t care about Lawrence’s backstory or emotional turmoil. I don’t need his perspective cos I’ve seen it before, I know it already. It’s in so many movies, books, and TV. So, he may be a well-written character but he’s not a fascinating one. If we wanna dig around in the psyches of bad people, Serena and Lydia are far more fascinating cos bad women’s stories are so much rarer to explore in any depth.

So, June got her feet lashed to shit again. And then she’s just walking around like no biggie next scene? Did the writers forget the first season when June couldn’t walk at all? All I’m asking is a bit of a limp?

June going straight to the house that just housed the handmaid that ran away with June’s baby seems... well, like complete bullshit. Never.

SERENA ISN’T WEARING HER WEDDING BAND. She’s done. She hates that man and I hate the fact everyone is pushing her to just get over it. Fred... is horrible in literally every single way. Every. Single. Way. (And sure Serena is horrible in some ways, but not nearly the same ways as Fred.) I just want Serena to be free of him. I want her and June to murder his ass. Graphically. That is the only violence I want to see on this show in the future. OMG, I can’t actually explain how much I hate him and I vomit in my mouth thinking about Serena having to get back with him. Even if I know she has to in order to survive. Ugh. 

UM. Okay, the “blood against the snow” bit was really interesting. I don’t recall Offred saying that in the book but Atwood brings it up often when talking about red. It was clever to include her own words, just like last season with the “men are afraid women will laugh at them...” bit.

But speaking of weird inclusions: Lawrence reciting book!Offred’s line about how easy is it to invent a humanity for anyone. It was curious they had Lawrence saying that to June, whereas it’s Offred in the book thinking that about the Commander.  “He was not a monster, to her. Probably he had some endearing trait: he whistled, offkey, in the shower, he had a yen for truffles, he called his dog Liebchen and made it sit up for little pieces of raw steak. How easy it is to invent a humanity, for anyone at all. What an available temptation.”

My wife, when Nick showed up in 303: “Oh, this prick again!” Just out of nowhere cos we don’t talk about fandom shit. She has no idea the extent of my sick obsession with this show. She doesn’t know how much I loathe Nick lol. She’s completely casual and even she can’t stand Nick. Which is so lovely. And then when he was yapping about going to the front, she just muttered, “Hopefully he’ll die there.”

OH MY GOD. I HATE MEN. That whole Commanders meeting scene made me want to throw up multiple times. It started with the words “shipment of females” and just got progressively worse with every passing second.

Except... LMAO. June: *sees Fred at a meeting* Fred: Hello. June: Hey you see Serena? How’s Serena? Is Serena okay? Serena’s tough. She’s great. She’ll be okay. I love her. *proceeds to do the world’s worst cringe-inducing seduction* I think on some level even Fred knows it’s bullshit.

I love comparing June’s seduction of Fred to her seduction of Serena. They’re very interesting contrasts. She’s so painfully fake with Fred. And only sort of insincere at times with Serena. 

Man, Sylvia is a dick lol. LOOK RICHMOND IS HARD ENOUGH TO GET ACROSS WITHOUT YOUR LIME GREEN CAR BLOCKING THE ONE MOVING LANE OF TRAFFIC!!!!!! Jokes aside... I actually really liked that scene of Emily finally calling her. That was touching and the closest I came to actually getting sniffly.  Actually no. Traffic on Richmond is no joke. I’m not kidding. That was a dick move, Sylvia. LOL.

June saying Nichole gets her politicianess thing from Serena absolutely fucking slayed me. I don’t even care if she was emotionally manipulating her af, it seemed genuine in parts of that convo. TWO MOMMIES. June used her flashback!June voice at one point. Honestly, these two actresses run this town.  You can tell how broken Serena is tho cos she’s oblivious to how manipulative June is being. She’s been aware in the past as soon as June does her whole “Say nice thing, bond over babies, ask for something” method and called her on it. It’s June’s only trick. It’s transparent af. And Serena knows it. Yet, she seems completely wooed now and not at all suspicious. So, when she gets her wits together again, I suspect Serena won’t be so malleable.

I’ve said a bunch of stuff about June/Serena stuff in my tag rants so I won’t repeat it. I just fell in love with it all.

PRAISE BE!!! We didn’t actually have to see a Nick/June sex scene. Behold His miracle! I was so relieved. And then... curiously they continued that love-theme-y music all the way over into Serena’s scene with June and that was not a coincidence.

I know people really like that Boomtown Rats song being the music to the fire... And it’s a jam. But... it’s about a real school shooting and I feel like that’s just a little... off? (Not to mention Tori Amos’ version is better, imo.) I mean, okay, I did some drama courses in university and I did a thing about that song so I researched it all and it just to me doesn’t fit at all. A 16-year-old girl shot up an elementary school. And somehow, call me crazy, but that’s completely inappropriate to use in this scene. I get female rage, etc etc. I get they didn’t want to go super obvious and use a song about burning houses. But considering how EXCELLENT a song they chose for 3x03 with that Roy Harper track you’d think they’d find something better for the bed/house burning. Not only that but the motive for Spencer was ... literally nothing. She didn’t like Mondays and thought it would be fun to kill a bunch of kids--which is the complete opposite of Serena’s motivations. It just devalues it.

I want more of Emily’s journey. This is the first time I’ve actually been interested in Emily tbh. And Clea Duvall is a treasure.

I want a Moira/Emily BROTP. Honestly Moira just seems like the best friend anybody could have?

WHY IS NICK A COMMANDER?! WTF????? Was I just not listening carefully enough? Is he? Cos I don’t really pay attention when he’s onscreen tbh and the wifey was like “Why’s this guy a commander now?” And I was like, “What do you mean he’s a commander?” Honestly, Nick is just like a piece of furniture. I barely notice him onscreen lol. Okay, this has nothing to do with my dislike of him. It honestly does not make any sense. We saw that other Commander only got promoted because his wife got pregnant. WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY PROMOTE NICK? What on god’s green earth has he EVER fucking done well? Why the shitting hell would they promote a Guardian who, under his watch, has had one handmaid kill herself, another one escape/”get kidnapped”, wife cheat on him then get executed, allow a BABY to get kidnapped, the house get burned down????? All those things seem like Very Bad things and put all together seem like something that would put him on the Wall for being such a shitty employee rather than someone who deserves MORE responsibility. There’s literally no reason to make him a Commander. Just conscript him to the Chicago front. You don’t need a reason. He’s a grunt. Eye or not. I DO NOT GET IT. Fred gets demoted and Nick gets promoted? Nahhhhh mans. Not buying it.

So little Nick. I love it. I want zero Nick, but this’ll do. I’ll even put up with him being a Commander (LMAO) if it means he goes away for a while.

Lawrence calling out June’s terrible seduction technique (it is really bad), and calling Fred stupid = :} 

OK BACK TO THE BURNING WATERFORD HOUSE... i cannot abide how SLOW June is ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME. Like, she shows up in Serena’s little pyromaniacal bedroom inferno and is like “COME ON!” and pulls her out of the room in what appears to be a hurry. Then as Serena and Rita are rushing out June just fucking stops and starts staring at all the smoke as if she’s on fucking shrooms. Then there she goes on her bullshit... Hey, bish, the house is literally burning down cos your crazy ass soulmate set fire to her own life and maybe you should leave. No? Not interested? Sure, stand there. Feel up the walls like I did once on MDMA. Makes total fucking sense. TAKE YOUR TIME WHY DON’T YOU? Why not? It just reminded me of 2x13 when Rita was saying “You gotta leave NOW!” and June just took it upon herself to carve a bunch of shit onto the wall for no goddamn reason.

OKAY. I WAS RIGHT. The other night when I was like, “I think I know that beach.” I do know that beach!!! My dog likes to take dumps right where Serena was. (I clean up after him, don’t worry.) I can point out that beach on a map if you want. There are also heroin needles and ticks in the bushes. There is literally a water treatment plant 200m away. I go swimming exactly where Serena was and once a dead fish floated by and I had to wrestle my dog away from it. I have been swimming there a lot. It’s nice in the summer. HOWEVER, poor Yvonne in her drysuit doing that in fucking November or whatever. This lake is fucking cold even in summer sometimes lmao. Like, I’ve spent so many hours right in that spot... cos well, I used to live right up the road so duh. Of course now that I don’t live there now and it was winter so why would I take my dog swimming, that they decide to film there. OF COURSE.

Speaking of filming, not that anyone cares, they were at the St Lawrence Market at one point. It was so obvious. Wasn’t really paying attention to any of the other locales tbh. If I watch again and pay attention I prolly could pick out a few more but honestly the only person that entertains is myself.

I still can’t believe Serena was being reborn on dogshit/dead fish beach. 

[cosmostellar]

Connie in Stevens role au

Connie was mostly raised by the crystal gems, struggles with social interactions, feels isolated from the Beach City ppl

a first few episodes are mostly just Connie interacting with the gems, you get to know who the gems are on the surface level + Connie’s father is introduced

Connie’s dad is still a security guard and Connie is very insistent that it’s not only her moms who fight for the gems, her dad does too!!

Doug is initially disregarded as a “just human” by the gems, but later becomes a more active part of the team and is never left helpless

however, he does travel throughout the entire state most of the time

he always finds some time for his daughter when Connie wants to talk via phone and loves her deeply, but sometimes Connie feels like he isn’t there enough which only adds to her general anxiety

Connie is a pretty cautious person, her big issue at first is how much she overthinks things and hesitates - she wants to help the gems but she isn’t sure how

she brings the fresh blood of new ideas and new outlook into the gems’ life

she reads A LOT, both fiction and non-fiction, and often talks to the crystal gems about the past events, even the brutal ones such as wars; easily makes connections between whatever she reads about and whatever is happening in the gems’ lives or happened in the gem history, is more inquisitive abt the gem history than Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl wish she was at this age

Pearl constantly gets fictional stories and non-fiction mixed up sfddsfd Connie is like “George Washington” and Pearls like “oh isnt he that mage from that book youve read last summer???”

Pearl is EXTREMELY frustrated abt things such as Arthurian myths because it EITHER IS HISTORY OR IT ISNT HISTORY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT CONNIE

and Connie is like “well you were there right???”

Pearl, remembering how she was thirsting after Rose in the middle ages: .......i do not think i was in that particular place during that time period, no

oh RQ =/= PD in this au, Rose Quartz was just a soldier with a lot of secrets who helped an enslaved Pearl escape, she did indeed shatter Pink Diamond + Pearl was indeed a renegade

the Bismuth arc plays out COMPLETELY DIFFERENT because Connie always needs to see and understand all sides of the conflict and even then she sometimes can’t decide or feels uncomfortable with deciding, in a way she is fascinated by Bismuth’s new perspective but v unsure bcs this is not how she was taught, they sit down and talk together for a very long time

Connie is generally not as uncomfortable with the idea of killing for the greater good since she knows history, she still feels weird with the idea of doing it herself and would rather spare people if she had to

she sometimes struggles with expressing or even understanding her feelings very much which makes the gems initially think she’s much more mature and responsible than she really is

Amethyst is from the beginning introduced with attempts to deal with her issues; she tries to put her self-worth into the hands of others, that is, she is the one who goes to Beach City, she is the one known by everyone there, she seems outgoing, she has friends there

or rather “friends” bcs no one really knows how insecure Amethyst is under all this Attitude, they only know one side of her and Amethyst feels even worse because in some way she is just fooling people into liking her since she can’t make Garnet and Pearl like her

she doesn’t realize that the part of her Beach City people like is also her

Connie is just the awkward girl always hanging in the background and has a much worse relationship w/ Beach City people than Amethyst does, she has a hard time connecting to people

first real attempts she makes are actually bcs Amethyst encourages her to do so which probably leads to Connie discovering more abt Amethyst’s self-worth issues

(before that Amethyst is kinda The Coolest for Connie since Connie really wishes she was better with people and Amethyst has that trait, people look at her and talk to her and she is amazing and Connie is just there, too awkward to stutter a full sentence)

at some point after shes more socially developed Connie decides to actually go to school because there are so many things the gems simply can’t teach her (this is also connected to her arc of idealizing the gems less and less, she has so many questions they are unable to answer)

during the Homeworld arc Connie tries to get her way out of there, helps Blue Zircon with the case, they actually manage to run away together

Blue Zircon is super anxious after that and Connie is too so its GREAT

there would be no murder mystery so there’d have to be a different kind of trial put there BUT: Connie takes Blue Zircon to Earth and they become very very good friends because they are both extremely inquisitive and interested in puzzles and logical solutions

Connie shows Blue Zircon mystery novels and Blue Zircon is DELIGHTED

Connie-Peridot mutual awkwardness

Peridot and Lapis are an actual addition to the cast, appear regularly, have their own motives

EACH BEACH CITY EPISODE IS MADE TO FURTHER AN ARC OF ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS, EITHER CONNIE OR ONE OF THE GEMS

at first they are mostly abt Connie’s social anxiety and her attempts at understanding the human part of her heritage better, she reads about it a lot but she wants to have a better insight in practice

and also the whole Amethyst thing

an episode that is just Pearl taking Connie to some party the kids from school throw

Pearl thinks it’ll be HardcoreTM but its really just kids sitting around talking, Pearl is awkward

gOOD GOD LET PEARL HAVE ACTUAL INTERACTIONS WITH HUMANS, LET PEARL STOP SEEING THE PLANET EARTH AS ROSES-AND-ONLY-ROSES THING, LET PEARL FALL IN LOVE WITH THE THING SHE’S FIGHTING FOR FINALLY BECAUSE OF THIS INCREDIBLE LITTLE HALF-HUMAN WHO WONT LET HER FORGET THAT PEOPLE CAN BE COOL

at some point after heavy stuff happens Connie starts seeing a therapist

Lapis is also encouraged to do so, the idea Lapis is at first repulsed by and it takes her some time to actually see it in the realm of possibilities

Connie starts seeing a therapist because of Doug’s influence and help

Doug, as a guard, went through pretty heavy stuff himself and therapist’s help is just a very natural part of his life and he knows it helps and he doesnt want to leave his daughter completely alone with her psyche after so many fucked up events including the whole intergalactic war thing

Lapis and Peridot do live together but only after they get to know each other better and are able to be healthier and more functional with each other

Lapis doesnt know where to stay and for some time shes just a free bird, she disappears and reappears randomly; she is afraid of commitment, she is afraid of finding someone she’ll like, she is terrified of facing her own feelings, its bizzare how shes finally free and all she really wants is to lie somewhere and die

in some ep she meets Doug who kinda takes care of her in this non-invasive way Lapis needs which makes Lapis come back more and more; she doesn’t officialy travel with him but she kinda does, for some time

bcs goddamit Lapis’s problems are fucking heavy and she needs adults who will help her figure it out, Connie is like what, thirteen??

aka: Lapis is Doug’s grumpy adopted teenage daughter and you can f ight me

also Pearl dates some human women, then Bismuth is unbubbled and after some time she and Pearl slowly start having a thing

it’s an incredible chance for Pearl to actually revise her past: to bring the events of the war to the surface and see them from a new perspective, to have a new understanding of herself and her past actions, to finally deal with all those heavy fucked up feelings that have never been properly worked through because Rose never really gave her the chance or support to do so

it’s sometimes very ugly, and it’s a lot of crying, and sometimes Pearl is just weeping silently for a very, very long time, but Bismuth is there for her

since Bismuth isnt rebubbled in this au bcs Connie actually listens to her point, Bismuth is keeping up the facade of just being magically found in the lion for some time more

one day when Pearl is just hanging with her in her workshop Bismuth finally tells her abt why Rose bubbled her which brings a whole new light to the picture of Rose Quartz Pearl has; Pearl has never thought that Rose could bubble someone like this, especially someone like Bismuth

Pearl is the support Bismuth needs, Bismuth is the support Pearl needs

Lion actually has a name here bcs Connie names him - more specifically, like 343234 different names because Connie is so damn indecisive

Connie asks questions. so many questions

[head-and-heart]

The 100 Highlights - “Eden” (5x01)

Hey there fam! I’m starting this series in honour of the new season of The 100 that is now airing. Basically, it will function similar to review of the episode, except I will be pointing out the highlights of the episode - the things that I liked (not what I was critical of).

In light of 5x01 airing, it has become increasingly clear to me that - no matter how good an episode is - it is too easy for this fandom to get caught up on the negative aspects of it. (And yes, that includes myself sometimes.)

Being critical is good - it is a part of consuming fiction - but it is also important to recognize the positive aspects of literature as well. If not for anyone else, than for your own sanity. So that sparked the purpose of this series: for me to take a step back and think about what I enjoyed about the episode, and then share it to spread a little positivity in fandom. 

I intend to do this for every episode of Season 5, and possibly for later seasons as well (assuming we get renewed) depending on how it goes. 

So, for my first post, I will be talking about “Eden”. 

In no particular order:

The camera following the Ark and speeding down to Earth as the very first shot of the season was pretty cool and really captured the atmosphere of the episode as well as what the heart of the show seems to be: the connection among people even when they are apart, and the ways in which they fight to get back to each other.

Looking back, the cinematography of this episode was honestly stunning. The dull and bleached colour pallet of the scorched Earth versus the vibrancy of Eden is a shocking contrast and there were so many beautiful shots throughout the episode.

Loved the little callbacks to past places and characters - like the stones where they signalled to Luna, Jasper’s goggles, the stick from L.exa’s throne, Maya’s iPod, the rover, etc - it shows how all these people are still very present in Clarke’s mind (and how they are indirectly keeping her alive, keeping her centered).

The attention to detail was really strong in this episode (see above point) with all the props and the music choices (eg. playing the CL theme when Clarke finds L.exa’s throne). Due to this it ensured that, in spite of the time jump, the heart and history of The 100 remained present.

Seriously, there were sooo many cool shots. The shot of Clarke driving as the dust/lightning storm approaches was super neat. I loved how they depicted what life on Earth looks like after Praimfaya, the devastation of the planet. And also the shot of her staring into the flames as she burns the bodies of the villagers was stunning.

Having the entirety of the first 27 minutes following Clarke (and narrated almost solely by her) really nailed home the impact of her isolation and was, not to mention, a very bold storytelling decision

Music was used expertly in this episode. Tree Adams did such a great job at pinpointing when the music was needed, and when the episode was better served by using it liberally (and, on occasion, not at all). In the shot of Clarke sorting through Arkadia, the music is very light, the most prominent sound the whistling of the wind, as if to accentuate the fact that the world has gone completely silent following Praimfaya. It is also used as an homage to old characters who have passed, such as Maya, or L.exa, which I appreciated.

The scene where Clarke finds Jasper’s things was absolutely beautiful, and Eliza killed the scene with her acting. When I watched 4x13 last year I was disappointed to find that the scene where Clarke found Jasper’s suicide note was cut from the finale (it was in the leaked scripts) because I thought it meant Jasper’s memory would be forgotten. In retrospect, I’m happy that they did it this way instead, when Clarke is completely and utterly alone, and she can finally allow the emotions to hit her properly. There were so many amazing callbacks to characters from previous seasons who are no longer around anymore.

“Anyway ... in case this is the last time I get to do this, I just wanna say .. please don’t feel bad about leaving me here. You did what you had to do. I’m proud of you.” We’ve all had over a month to mentally and emotionally prepare ourselves for this line, since the trailer came out, but it remains just as beautiful as the first time.

There’s just something so badass about Clarke driving through an empty post-apocalyptic wasteland, listening to EDM on one of the last remaining pieces of tech on planet Earth. Clarke finding Maya’s iPod was the gift I didn’t know I needed.

Kudos to the makeup department for depicting their female lead realistically after almost dying of dehydration and radiation burns in the desert - sometimes this is not easy to find on a CW show.

Clarke’s frequent radio calls/narration offers up a fresh and interesting way of telling the story in this episode, revealing how Clarke has grown and reflected over the years.

There were soooo many parallels to previous episodes (eg. Clarke rising out of the water like Octavia in 1x01, the irradiated dining room in the village visually paralleling Mount Weather in 2x16, Clarke confronting her map like she did in the very first episode of the series, the shot of her face through the flames as she burns the bodies of the villagers is very reminiscent of 3x12, and everything to do with Madi and Clarke parallels the Blakes. And, of course, Charmaine’s “it means we’re not alone” is an obvious callback to Clarke’s words in the Pilot.)

No emotional beats are missed in 5x01. Clarke finding the child on the step outside the church is just one example of a gutwrenching moment in this episode that emotionally impacts us just in the way that all good media should.

“I’ve lost track of how many bodies we’ve burned since reaching the ground. God, this would be so much easier if I knew you were alive, if I knew I was going to see you again.” My Bellarke heart is singing!

Clarke gushing about berries. Enough said.

The filming of Clarke’s encounter of Madi pays homage to the horror genre, with her appearing suddenly in between the trees, or in the window frame. While not scary, it holds the same mood as 3x12 and 4x07 did - two episodes most strongly associated with typical horror films. I really enjoyed the mystery and intrigue associated with the way they approached Clarke meeting Madi.

By displaying Madi as fearful of flamekeepers, it demonstrates an alternative perspective to the Grounder faith that we haven’t gotten to see before: resistance. It also shines a light on the brutality of the conclave system in a way that is rarely addressed in the show (but perhaps should be).

Clarke performing surgery on herself? SO ! BAD ! ASS !

Clarke’s drawing of Madi was beautiful. And the little girl’s smile after seeing it? Precious.

Clarke spearing a fish? I’m turned on.

They did the absolute MOST gorgeous transition this show has ever done in this episode. And you all know which one I’m talking about. When Clarke is looking up at the stars and says, “What about them? Do you think they’ll come down too?” AND THEN IT SMOOTHLY SHIFTS TO THE ARK, BELLAMY STARING OUT THE WINDOW LOOKING DOWN AT HER AS SHE LOOKS UP AT HIM - BOTH UNKNOWINGLY. And the MUSIC. The music, oh god. Everything about it was stunning. The camerawork, the music, the thematic implications of it all. I just can’t be coherent about how amazing that transition was. Lemme go watch it another five times before I continue.

Raven beating Echo. Raven laughing. Raven. 

The dynamic among the space squad is really intriguing, and Jason Rothenberg communicated so much with so little. With just a few short scenes and lines of dialogue we can perfectly understand everyone’s role on the Ark, the tension between Bellamy and Raven, the uncertainty of Echo paired with the internal struggle of Monty, the way Emori has so seamlessly fitted herself into the group, and how Murphy has just as easily removed himself from it. It’s fascinating to me to watch how these characters interact with each other; how things have remained constant, and how they have shifted.

The fact that “Murphy” is considered one of their chores on the Ark will never not be funny (and equally heartbreaking???).

“Seconds?” “Yeah right, I choose Murphy.” I will never be over Monty’s poor, cute, little hopeful face here. It was adorable.

The Murphy and Bellamy fight scene was a blessing in every single way. First of all, Bellamy being cheeky is my lifeblood. Second of all, Murphy’s story this season is super intriguing to me. And third of all, Bellamy holding Murphy in a headlock as he forces him to admit he’s not worthless is a scene I never would have imagined I would need this much.

“You know what I think your problem is? You like being the hero; only up here, there are no heroes.” I LOVE this line because of how it delves into Murphy’s psyche and also displays him in a different way than Murphy typically is. It shows that, deep down, he really does care about more than himself. When he has so much time to wallow in his own self-loathing, he feels he needs to live up to his own expectations, and he acts out. If he can’t be a hero, then he’ll be what he knows he can be. A dick.

Also ... “there are no heroes” = “there are no good guys”. I love my otp

Bellamy is the biggest dad and I am LIVING for it.

“I’ll make sure it’s my only choice.” Cue Kate’s Bellarkean death.

“Non-violent offenders with me?” “Yeah, both of them.” Okay, I’m sorry but I’ll never stop laughing about this.

“Relax, McCreary. You’re still my favourite mass-murderer.” I loved this little exchange because it hints at the dynamic between all of the Eligius crew. Again, Jason does so much with so little words. It clearly indicates just how different these prisoners are from The 100 - how dangerous. Also ... is Zeke a mass murderer, then?

Monty and Harper’s scene together was enlightening. I’m so excited for Monty’s journey this season, and it makes complete sense for him to go in this direction. What’s intriguing is that him and Harper have almost shifted places from where they were in Season 4, where Harper wanted to give up and Monty was insistent on the need to keep fighting. He brings up a good point now: “No one should have to be that strong.” Because isn’t that the whole truth? I also really appreciated the callback to Monty’s mom, as well as Jasper, as there was a serious concern as to whether those deaths would just be swept under the rug because of the time jump. I’m happy to see that my concerns were for nothing.

Emori and Raven’s friendship is EVERYTHING. 

Nothing is brighter than Raven Reyes’ smile and that’s a fact.

Lindsey and Richard continue to have stunning chemistry and they both feed off each other so well, no matter how you see their relationship.

Ending the episode with the single shot of the fight ring in the bunker and Octavia (and her “royal guards”, so to speak) observing blankly from above was absolutely chilling. And the best possible way to lead into the next episode. 

Hope you enjoyed reading my highlights! Feel free to share some of your own. I’ll be back sometime next week following “Red Queen”.

[the-council-of-new-york-vampires]

Why'd you like Adam so much? Really curious... (In the choices universe I usually like the "bad bitches" but Adam... Just doesn't do it for me)

Out of Character:

Great question I admit I’ve been asked rather often in private! ^^

Firstly, I feel you. I always fall for the villains. Generally, I think villains are more interesting than heroes, because of their psyche alone: What goes on in that person’s head, you wonder. What happened to them that they are like that? I mean, no one is born evil. It’s the environment that shapes (even though some traits are genetic, of course). For me, I think: the eviller, the better.

Adam is… wow. I gotta say, the first time I saw him, I was very neutral. I even remember, when Adrian asked “You surely find him attractive, like everybody else?”, I was like “….He’s okay??” I think I even said “Of course not”, lmao.

I wasn’t interested in him for the entire book. It was shortly after that when I was thinking about Bloodbound’s end. As much as I like to complain about his death, I got to admit that, without it, I would have never fallen for Adam. From one moment to another, I realized how harsh and kind of “unfair” (??) his punishment was. It was then that I thought back, when we met him, and he was so nice and sweet and then I realized… I love this guy.

For real. It was like a switch being pulled. I watched his scenes on YouTube again and it was then that I realized just how charismatic he is. I mean, after his good looks, it’s the first thing MC commented on, but… I realized how good one must feel in his company. He makes people feel good, just naturally. He even looks happy with his neutral face on!

The way he talked to MC, making her speechless with one single sentence when she talked to him about the Clanless, that fascinated me. Adrian’s right, he could sell water to a whale. He could sell me a pile of shit, I’d buy it. He can manipulate so flawlessly, use words for his own benefit in a way I find unique! His way to do it… so subtly. He could murder a whole village and blame it on someone else!

Everybody loves that guy - his feedbag’s attraction for him is no wonder - except for the people who know him too well. Regardless, he keeps the facade up like the bastard he is, and he knows he is. He is so chivalrous and gentle, charming, yet incredibly dominant and reckless. He cares about a lover’s pleasure. On the other hand, he only cares about himself. He is so two-faced, such a snake, I have never seen the like!

Also, have you seen him? I mean, sure, we could discuss forever whether he is attractive or not (to me, he most definitely is), ‘cause that’s a subjective thing. But clearly, he is written to be absolute hotness. I mean, first thing MC thought when seeing him was that he’s “even more handsome in person than on TV”, Adrian made clear “everybody” finds him “attractive” and Lily called him “America’s hottest Senator” for a reason.

He looks so good, every wrinkle on his face looks good. His hair is so nice, his ears are flawless, his smile lights up my world, his beard is absolute perfection, HIS LIPS… His teeth are the whitest! And have I mentioned his broad shoulders and the fact that he is probs tall? Even his hooked nose (which I have too, and I have never felt so good about it) fits him perfectly! The part of his chest that his dress shirt doesn’t cover is the reason I live, I would pay to see this man topless! 

His style is very chic and classy, yet sporty and relaxed… Lester can’t pull it off, he looks sleazy as hell, and that’s why he hates him. Adrian looks too closed off. They can’t compare. Adam shaves, but he leaves the hair that looks manly… The others can’t. Please, compare Adam’s goatee to Jameson’s. He tries to comapre, but he can’t. We just know Adam isn’t as muscular as Adrian, but I bet his chest looks ten times better anyway! He is fire without even trying. 😩

Adam is revealing, seductive, his lips part just a little bit, but that’s a thought in the back of ours minds, one that we can’t access, but we know it’s there. Adam is warm, he kisses people’s cheeks as a greeting, but he is never perv. That’s his Spanish charm! He is overly controlling, but super relaxed at the same time! Just look at his pose: hands in pockets, super chillin’, confident in himself. A man like Adam could achieve anything!

Nicole was right about everything she said about him, and I envy her for being able to spend time alone with him in a car. Adam “has guts”, has “what it takes”! He is not a risk-taker, but he is far from a coward. He is so strong and powerful and able… I wanna be his. ;-;

Which is something that surprised me. Brown eyes? Prefer blue. Beard? No, thanks. “Older” man? Gross. Politics? Most boring shit ever. Fake hoes? Ew.

No matter. (Adam said that - twice. 🌚) He could get anyone and he knows it. The lady-killer line… That was my favorite one in the entire game. It made me realize they created this character in the image of a perfectly desirable man, one that has everything a lady could wish for! I want to be with him, no matter as his prey or his wife, because I know both would be absolutely intoxicating.

This man either does whatever he wants with you, regardless of your feelings, for his own advantage, like the cruel tyrant he is, or he loves you. He protects you. He does anything for you (I mean, please, look at Pradam, he would have taken a bullet for her anytime).

What kind of women does he like, I wonder? Does he like a submissive one, or does he like a challenge? Either way, he will never love her more than power. He must have been abused in some way, powerless, until he achieved power and promised himself not to ever lose it again.

Adam is an ambitious achiever. He wants something? He works for it and gets it. He knows exactly what he’s doing in every aspect of life! I admire that.

Can’t decide which side of the coin you like better? Adam is both! He’s so adaptable, but, then again, he doesn’t adapt! You can have a wild night with this guy, party and lose it, have the kinkiest and steamiest sex! Or you could stay home with him for a quiet night and cuddle and he will kiss you all over and make love to you tenderly. 😊

Sorry for the overly long character analysis, but… This man made me realize I’m not a lesbian.

[aion-rsa]

The Medium Review

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With The Medium, Bloober Team take a clever gameplay concept and uses it to weave a psychological horror story that is one of the most polished titles released by the studio to date but doesn’t quite reach its full potential. Repetitive gameplay elements and issues with pacing bring this game down quite a bit, but espite the game’s needling flaws, it’s still worth playing, particularly for those who have enjoyed the studio’s previous work.

The game is set in ’90s Poland and centers on Marianne, the titular medium who can communicate with lost souls in the “spirit world” by focusing on objects imbued with memories of those who have passed. The spirit world is a parallel version of ours, like a nightmarish reflection, and Marianne has the ability to traverse both realities simultaneously, which allows her to make connections between them in myriad ways. In-game this is conveyed via a split-screen presentation where the player can interact with both worlds at once and solve puzzles by searching for clues in both realities, which are tethered in strange ways.

Unlike Bloober Team’s previous games, which were presented in first-person, The Medium is in third-person, which recalls genre classics like Resident Evil and Silent Hill. The team handles this transition well, and they take full advantage of the split-screen mechanic, which is not persistent and only appears in select moments throughout the story (a tasteful decision on Bloober’s part—too much split-screen would have no doubt been headache-inducing). Overall, the game plays quite smoothly, from using Marianne’s powers to search for supernatural clues in the environments, to the directed camera angles and movements, which are all well thought out and never get in the way of the experience.

The story “starts with a dead girl,” a nightmare or premonition Marianne has of a girl being murdered by a lake. Haunted by this otherworldly vision, Marianne is getting her recently-deceased adoptive father’s house in order when she receives a mysterious phone call from a man who claims to know her innermost secrets, sending her on a grim detective mission of sorts, starting at the sprawling, abandoned Niwa hotel. There, she meets a young girl in the spirit world named Sadness, who helps her uncover the truth behind the man on the other end of that fateful call, as well as some shocking revelations about Marianne’s own past.

Narratively, this is one of Bloober’s strongest efforts. I found the story to be riveting, particularly in the latter half of the game. On paper, the dialogue and plot developments aren’t mind-blowingly good or novel, but the game’s unique presentation elevates the storytelling in a cinematic way. There are several surprising twists throughout the game that propel the story forward in a nice way, but the real strength of the script is its focus. Bloober Team has a knack for zeroing in on the intimately personal elements of its stories and exploring the human psyche in interesting ways both in the content and visuals, and the studio sticks to that philosophy here. 

Stories in games sometimes get too mired in plot mechanics and don’t focus enough on the characters and their internal journeys, but Bloober Team never falls into that trap. Marianne’s innermost fears and desires are always the going concern as the story unfolds. Even as other characters get folded into the story (you may even get to take control of them…), Marianne acts as the narrative center of gravity.

The dramatic elements of the story are done very well, with some cutscenes eliciting a physical response from me that I absolutely was not expecting. Without spoiling anything, I’ll say that the story explores some ugly aspects of humanity that haunt us all in one way or another, particularly if you’ve lost someone close to you or have deep-seated familial issues. Bloober Team always aims for poignancy of the dark and devilish variety, and the developers achieve that here.

Release Date: Jan. 28, 2021 Platforms: PC (reviewed), Xbox Series X/S Developer: Bloober Team Publisher: Bloober Team Genre: Horror

Another one of Bloober Team’s strengths is art direction, particularly when it comes to creating detailed, evocative environments that reflect what’s going on in the protagonist’s head in fascinating ways. The environments in The Medium are stunning not just for their visual fidelity, but for their interconnectedness with the mood and themes of the story. The deteriorating innards of the Niwa hotel clearly convey that some truly twisted stuff went down in there, and the surrounding forests are creepy but in a way that’s almost beautiful, with the game’s atmospheric lighting (bolstered by ray-tracing if you’re playing on a sufficiently powerful PC or next-gen console) setting the mood nicely.

And that’s just the real-world environments—the spirit world is a fiery hellscape of rotting flesh and viscera, which happens to be inhabited by a lurching monstrosity called “The Maw” whose sole mission is to consume you in violent fashion. While the two realities look distinctly different (Marianne’s got white hair and a glowing arm in the spirit world, a nice touch), they still feel artistically cohesive.

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Most of the game consists of puzzles, whether it be scouring the environment for clues that reveal bits of the central mystery, or condensed puzzles that force you to switch between the two realities, changing the environment in the spirit world to allow real-world Marianne to proceed and vice versa. The latter, more traditional puzzles are a bit of a letdown. They mostly consist of you walking around the environment waiting for icons to pop up so that you can collect objects and place them in other objects to proceed. The tedium of this is alleviated by the dual-reality mechanic. For instance, if real-world Marianne is impeded by a powered-down elevator, spirit Marianne can break off and manipulate objects in the spirit world to power up the elevator in the real world.

The dual-reality concept is super cool for a while, but it’s only a bandaid for the deeper issue of played-out puzzle design. Most of the puzzles you encounter are, at their core, as rudimentary as can be. There are a few that forced me to actually use my noggin (one involving a keypad comes to mind), but for the most part, one should have little trouble figuring out how to proceed at any given time, which is a letdown.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

I like that the game is more experiential than challenging in the traditional sense, but so much time is spent on these unimaginative puzzles that I found myself getting frustrated, more eager to explore and uncover the story than collect color-coded toy butterflies that I had to arrange in a certain order. The developers try their best to imbue these puzzle sections with storytelling details and dialogue but it does little to mask the monotony of the task at hand.

There are some set pieces later in the game that are exciting and fast-paced and dazzling to look at, but whatever momentum those moments create is stifled by the puzzles. It’s disappointing, because I think if there was a little less focus on the traditional gameplay aspects, the experience would be far smoother and the best parts of the story would shine. I know that many would complain about there not being enough in the way of traditional gameplay if the puzzle sections were reduced, but I think The Medium as an even more narrative-focused experience would be more effective overall.

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[mantra4ia]

Lucifer Season 2 Round-out

Last April, a list began that would soon pervade into every moment of my life: “Lucifer Season 2 and Beyond - Wants and Desires”. It went through various iterations…

Original Post (pre-season) / Updated post (during season 2)

Before I go into my “Season 3” post (and questions!) I wanted to make a quick capsule of my top fulfilled desires of season 2. Please let me know what yours were, or if you have questions and desires yet to be addressed.

Desires Fulfilled / Questions Answered

✔ Does Lucifer have any other brothers/siblings we should know of? While I was disappointed that Uriel had such a brief appearance, it was still very cool and developed the arc of the season a TON! Also, there’s that mention of… ✔ Lucifer should have a sister…(2x05) AZRAEL! The Angel of Death is a she, and I have many questions and speculations about her role, power, manifestation, etc ✔ Who is Lucifer’s mother? Angel, Demon, something else? You know, for a majority of the season I didn’t know whether I liked or hated the Divine Goddess mum as Charlotte Richards. She was a fun character, but very on the fence as to what she wanted and how badly at any given moment. Mostly what bothered me is her lack of seriousness, gravitas. I wanted to see the “Goddess” side of her all season. She was jailed for centuries not just for being powerful, but also vengeful, chaotic, bordering on malicious. And then I got all that in the very last episode, 2x18 “God, Bad, Crispy” and I loved it. All that resentment, brokenness, and desperation, coupled with destructive force so that I could take her seriously. And no sooner did I love her as a balanced character of humor and strength, she (as we know her) was gone! Wot?! ✔ We’ve seen Lucifer’s lifestyle, how is Amenadiel liking his time on earth? Not at all - his poor wings! But I’m really quite glad he’s found solace in, of all places, the improv club. ✔ Who are Chloe’s friends outside the force, will we meet some? Thank Dad for Maze, Linda, and Ella, and girls night #tribe. ✔ Lucifer, Trixie, and Maze on a school’s day out field trip. Trixie and Maze trick-or-treating was 100% wonderful, and as a brilliant bookend so was Lucifer taking Trix to school and them having their own little “deceiving your parents” club. ✔ Girls’ night - Mazikeen, Chloe, Linda. And not only that but a bar fight, which is also what I wanted to see more of (the females kicking butt, which I got from all the core ensemble save Trixie, who instead kicked butt with her words, as Maze said). It’s like the writers have Lucifer powers of desire deduction… ✔ More delving into the themes of what it means to be vulnerable, when it’s good and not, and recovering from betrayal from all the characters’ perspectives. Well, divorce and single parenting are pretty dang vulnerable for Chloe I’d say….and you know drudging up the past and confronting her dad’s murder. And Dan and Lucifer at the comedy club, the openness there gave me new hope for their continued BroTP. Lucifer with Azrael’s blade while Amenadiel watched as his little bro was in pain DESTROYED ME. And even Trixie was vulnerable at that Starford private school, which was super insightful for Trixstar. And Maze and Lucifer throwing down and going to group therapy with Linda. The writers really knocked vulnerability, recovery, and moving forward out of the park. ✔ Is Mazikeen going to make more progress in the friends’ department? First word: Roomies. Second word: wifey. I really, deeply enjoyed Maze bonding with Chloe and Linda (ride or die) this season, and her growing attachment to humans. ✔ Now that Lucifer doesn’t have his Pentecostal coin to play with, does he get a new toy? I never thought seeing Lucifer with a cell phone would be that satisfying.  ✔ We see Lucifer always wearing a ring and Amenadiel always wearing a necklace. Will they come into play? Of course! Although, please props department up your game. I hated that Sumerian text. It looked like a three ring binder spray painted bronze. ✔ What stunts/ fight choreography are you guys thinking about for s2? Maze with a pool cue, a good amount of headbutting, slo-mo riots in a psychiatric ward, jumping off of a pier, some great driving sequences, a sniper/hostage situation, violence with a yoga mat, throw-down in a church (Father Frank’s church?), broken pianos. I can’t wait for more! ✔ Tom Ellis at the piano.“All Along the Watchtower” pleases me to no end. ✔ Scenery changes? I love the addition on the performance club and Chloe’s new apartment.  ✔ New potentially recurring characters? Heavens bless Ella in all her awkward moment, ice-breaking quirkiness.  ✔ Can Chloe effect other celestials adversely, or just Lucifer? Apparently yes she can. She disrupted Uriel’s pattern of destruction (2x05) I think, I could be wrong, but it came across that way… ✔ Seeing Lucifer with wings. YES! Bring on the eleventh hour cliffhanger. ✔  Lucifer’s fall? Maybe we saw a glimpse of it…depending on the context of the 2x18 cliffhanger

Things we got that we didn’t even know we wanted. SO GOOD:

Dan and Chloe are getting a divorce and in so doing becoming an even better team on the force and in life. They can razz each other more at work and be treated as equals, and she can joke with Dan “if you married Charlotte, that would make you Lucifer’s stepdad.”

Amenadiel wallowing about the loss of his wings, and the new BroTP Dandielion (Dan and Amenadiel at the comedy club)

“Cosmos are yummy” and “I like [the shape of] your head” one liners. You deserve all the praise Amenadude.

Ella’s tiny hands comment.”I’ve seen some pretty tiny manhands.” Cheeky.

Ella speaking French.

Lucifer and Maze with a taser. Superb new toy.

Lucifer being mortally embarrassed seeing his mom naked (how does it feel to be on the receiving side of nude awkwardness buddy), her interrupting his foreplay, and him having to drag her off his club stage because of her dancing. He’s essentially a teenager with her around.

Trixie’s defaced doll, and Lucifer’s sinnamon roll behavior getting her a new one.

Trixie holding Lucifer’s hand hostage as he takes her to school and bargains with her to drive the Corvette.

Chloe nearly beating someone to death with a yoga mat. “There’s a special place in hell for women…who manipulate other women.”

A reprisal of Chloe and Maze the tag team. Magnificent.

Lucifer denouncing cats. “Open box of excrement in your house? Cats,” Makes me wonder what pet Lucifer would have if he could. 

Uriel playing with patterns and probability! Sweet, now help me sail my ship! (2x05)

Lucifer as an action movie fan. Not surprising, since we already know he loves cheesy sci-fi from season 1 interaction with Chloe’s mom. But still another awesome nerdy layer.

Chloe teaming up on a case with her would-be-mother-in-law. Season 2 subtitle: #EveryoneHitsOnChloe

Lucifer in a psych ward. And of course, the Linda/Lucifer break out. Though it probably would’ve been equally fascinating as a break in.

SEASON HIGHLIGHTS (TOP 10):

The stunt driving in the corvette and Chloe’s car, and the surrounding circumstances of both incidents. I love the fulfillment of “I’ll never let you drive” comes full circle when Lucifer speeds on to try and save Chloe’s life, and when Chloe has to ride shotgun on Lucifer’s terms, she loses all composure. 

Most of 2x13 “A Good Day to Die” but especially the X-Ambassadors “Unsteady“ montage where every character shines!

“God Johnson” - the whole episode from start to finish, because it revealed so much honesty, meta, and motivation about the Lucifer, Linda, and Mum. If I had to pick a favorite part, it would have to be when Lucifer is wheeling Linda down the corridor and she meets ‘God’ or the celestial parent trap. Linda and Lucifer get to act like fans in their own show, Dr. Martin reveals Lucifer’s hidden desire to see his family back together, and Mum realizes she loves her ex and much as she hates him.

Maze and Chloe on a case as a married couple.

The men #tribe and the women #tribe we clearly establish in the first half of the season through cocktails, bar fights, saunas, improv clubs, etc. It wasn’t obnoxious or super exclusive, it developed naturally and really served the characters.

All of Trixie’s screen time was awesome, and the fact she seems to get more of it. Particularly “you don’t have to speak in code, I can handle adult stuff (she’s very perceptive)” and “wusses don’t get lollies” and her reaction to Lucifer stealing her sandwich.

Lucifer’s final scene with Linda in the hospital, where she has the title line that once again gives Lucifer page turning insight, and he puts her glasses back on and I melt!

Amenadiel being able to slow time for the first time since his powers waned, and using it to save Linda’s life. It made me teary, and brought me back to 2x13 when he helped Lucifer by standing his ground for Chloe. (MVP on the Unsteady montage)

Ella standing up to Charlotte. Her saying “you hurt Dan, I’ll break your legs” at first came off funny, like ‘your East Coast is showing’ but with each episode I increasingly wonder if, instead of just being mellow and accepting and lighthearted, she knows more than she let’s on and there’s another side of her that we’ve not seen.

The made up dinner scene / “you look beautiful” / the trajectory of Deckerstar. I admit there was a faith wobble. I thought that the show was revving up Lucifer and Chloe, perhaps not ‘too fast,’ but too suddenly. A lot was development happened over very few episodes in season 2 (by contrast to the entire season one slow burn) that I was dazed. What the hell was going on? Then they slammed on the brakes and reversed it when Luci skipped town and I thought are you trying to give me whiplash. But now those trials and that zig zag line is actually effective in making their relationship more complex and less doe-eyed, leading up to the capstone line by Chloe about moving forward. It gives the series a Chuck-like nostalgia in that this epiphany frees up a lot of constraint: it doesn’t matter the twists, turns, sputters, or screaming wheelies of the ship, in fact all the better, so long as their eyes are open and the aim is forward.

DIDN’T LIKE (BOTTOM 10):

☒ The “Wobble” episode concept.(2x03 Sin-Eater) If I had to rate it’s strength as a compelling episode, it’s probably second to the bottom.

☒ Poor Uri, we did not know him well, but I wanted to! (2x05)

☒ The “Candy Morningstar“ episode (2x14). I like the resolution, however I thought overall it was a weak return from hiatus. It did not do a very good job of filling in gaps of Lucifer’s time in Vegas - but maybe that’s something flashbacks in season 3 will revisit.

☒ Ella, her brother Ricardo, (2x13) and their Brooklyn roots. At first when I heard Ella came from a big family of brothers - 5? if I’m not making that up - I thought “what rich grounds for parallels” Lucifer comes from a big angelic family and Ella and Luci hit it off quite well where quirkiness goes she practically like a sister, she even got him to go to church, I can’t wait to see where this goes. But then we met one of her siblings, and it felt somewhere between a front and a one-off plot point to serve the events unfolding in the case. Generally, I feel even though I really like her character, she was not used to full potential in the second act of season after 2x8. Part of the hazard of adding two characters in one season. However, I have hope from 2x17 when Ella goes off to accept a call from her brother that she’s been ‘waiting for all day,’ but it’s never revealed why and the call takes place off screen that we’re going to revisit Ella’s family and backstory in a more detailed, impactful way come s3.

☒ The Season Finale 2x18. Before you kill me - allow me to clarify. I LOVED THIS EPISODE, however it was so packed I wish that I could surgically take out some preceding season fluff and elaborate these critical details over 2-3 episodes so that they are more than nuggets. Especially because of three things: 1) The growing complexity of Amenadiel’s relationship with Dan and Mum!Charlotte. Face it: Amenadiel had an extended identity crisis this season. It was planned, and overdue, so it’s fine. But only in these last episodes did his friendship with Dan and anchor to humanity flourish, as though playing catch up to Maze, as well as his more complex, less idolizing perspective of his parents. I WANTED MORE 2) Mum!Charlotte’s relationship with Dan “you were my favorite human.” Writers - How can you drop a line like that and NOT go after it? Are you evil? Mum’s been around for millennia and in all that time humanity has been at best a perplexing annoyance, at worse a target for ire. And in the span of one or two months on Earth, the divine goddess has developed a favorite human attachment not just to manipulate as was her intention, but beyond her reasoning legit. That’s huge. At first it was so weird, and now that I WANT MORE you cut me off! 3) Mum!Charlotte was finally beginning to stand on her own as a character, only to be slightly Sparta’d into the void. Just a few episodes ago, her only significant interactions were he sons and Maze. Now she’s branched out to everyone with the exception of Trixie. (WHY ON EARTH DID WE MISS THAT OPPORTUNITY). Then just two episodes ago, she said “when I kissed [my husband] I knew it wasn’t him, and yet I wanted it to be” - BAM - and then when she discovered Lucifer’s real plan to parent trap her in heaven, and that he was too worried about the repercussions to humanity, she offered to gate crash heaven alone and spare her son - POW. And to top it off, she recognized her own latent identity crisis and accepted an alternative to go into uncharted territory, make a new life for herself without her ex and her children, to examine who she is as her own independent Goddess in a life and a universe of her own. To summarize: metric ton of progress for Mum in three episodes tops, mostly in the last one, and now she is gone to do the most interesting part of her journey off camera. AHHH!

☒ The flaming sword. It got so much build up for so little actual use, apart from opening the void. Plus side: I thought the void concept / how the sword was used in conjunction with the theme of moving forward was EXTREMELY good, but at the same time my inner child wanted more swordplay with at least the three main celestials: Lucifer, Amenadiel, and Mum. You get a sword, you get a sword, you get a sword!

☒ Excessive use of Devil Eyes. I’ll have to count and compare to see how this actually tallies up, but particularly in “God Johnson” and maybe 1-2 other times I don’t recall, I thought it was overkill. I get why Lucifer’s glow-eyes are a handy physicality feature to the story, but overall I think some cues were off for maximum impact. S1 Lucifer used his eyes and true form in 3 main contexts: 1) when it suited him to intimidate or frighten 2) when it suited him for for amusement 3) when he got really overwhelmed by his emotions - possibly because it takes concentration to maintain his image and extreme emotion can blink his focus. “God Johnson” by contrast seemed more like ‘we’re telegraphing the anger.’ Of course Luci is angry, hurt, resentful, and like a kid wants the last word with Dad. However, when you factor in his smarts/cunning, and how long he’s been planning his Dad conversation, it would follow that Lucifer is laser-focused, determined, and knows that Devil Eyes don’t hold any weight with Father. Therefore, I think there are more varied, smarter, scarier ways to show Lucifer’s anger that were underutilized this season, is voice and body language especially. Plus side: I truly enjoyed Lucifer’s form in 2x13 in hell, and 2x06 for his reveal to Linda. The lighting, 5/5 Morningstars. 

☒ The pacing and balance of humor, smart storytelling, and the dramatic elements of the show felt off, probably also on account of two hiatuses. Reflecting over the whole season I’m not as annoyed as I was week-to-week. There were parts of the season where I waited eagerly for Monday only to find the comedy didn’t hit when I thought is this a comedic take on a police procedural or a parody of a comedy of a police procedural. Other times we got all the dramatic in one go and I thought Dang, where was this development when I needed it. But then I saw 2x18 and one scene made it better/sensical: Dan coaching Amenadiel at the improv club. In a strange, probably coincidental way, when Dan says “Amenadiel, that’s a little dark buddy” I felt like the writers were breaking the forth wall and saying “yes, I know, we take you on these weird tonal-emotional roller-coasters from pantomime slapstick to death and crippling guilt. We can and will make fun of ourselves now.” And I felt a burden lift as if replying “thank you for understanding that the struggle is real.”

☒  Celestial telephone tag cliffhangers. I love both of them: clever, full circle, smartly written. At the same time, I love to hate them. Twice is good. If showrunners go for a third time, I’ll take my cue from Maze and headbutt someone.

☒ I like the idea of expanding the universe by playing with the concept of the void. I think that it takes a great note from the comics. However, I’m worried it’ll be an idea that doesn’t go anywhere. As the show stands, Lucifer is so grounded in our physical world that adding a couple characters to the cast is tricky. This kind of world building? By comparison, this is God-level tricky, which is both exciting and terrifying.

Unanswered Questions / Moving Forward

See my Season 3: Speculations, Questions, Desires post.

[aion-rsa]

2016 Fred Van Lente Day Chat Transcript

Brian Cronin: Welcome, everyone, to the Fred Van Lente Day chat!

Brian Cronin: Some quick Fred Van Lente Day links for everyone to take a look at when they get here.

Brian Cronin: An exclusive preview of “Comic Book History of Comics” #3!

Brian Cronin: And a cool look at some weird connections in comic book history, using a lot of awesome Ryan Dunlavey art to illustrate a bunch of them!

Fred Van Lente: I like how you added not one, not two, but THREE random Jack Kirby + Celebrities encounters to this list

Brian Cronin: When we started talking connections, I couldn’t help it. It’s amazing that he really does have these connections to these super famous people. And that doesn’t even count his CIA connections when his art was used for the fake movie that they were filming that was made into the film “Argo”!

Fred Van Lente: I will never get tired of looking at his expression here:

“If I get closer, will he bite me”

Brian Cronin: You would have thought that Zappa would have prepared Kirby for Alan Moore. It should have taught him that long hairs could be his friend.

Fred Van Lente: This is before Moore became a wizard and expending all that mana really drained him (I don’t know why I bust on Alan Moore so much, when I was 16 I basically wanted to be him). _________________________________________________________________________________________

Brian Cronin: Was “HerStory” something that you and Ryan considered having in the original “Comic Book History of Comics”?

Fred Van Lente: It was. “Comic Book History of Comics” is unusual for us in a lot of ways structurally because both “Action Philosophers” (and soon “Action Presidents”) are biography based. But “CBHoC” is structured more around particular ideas or genres or movements. So I could never figure out how to get “Women in Comics” in there as a story without it smacking of raw tokenism. Then when the book came out and the biggest criticism was “Where are the women?” I was like, well, that was a missed opportunity.

Brian Cronin: And there, you’re obviously hurt by the very nature of patriarchal history.

Fred Van Lente: Yeah, exactly.

Brian Cronin: When IDW said they wanted to bring back the book I realized this was my chance to right that wrong.

Wayne Hotu: I watched “Carol” for the first time the other week… I thought it was great. I think I heard about Patricia Highsmith doing comics, but not which ones

Fred Van Lente: Yeah, I need to see “Carol.” I am on a big Patricia Highsmith kick right now as a result of doing that story. Tore through “Talented Mr. Ripley,” and halfway through “Strangers on a Train” which I don’t like nearly as much. But then I think I’ll do “Price of Salt” (which was made into “Carol”).

Brian Cronin: I’m fascinated by how she was able to be so ruthless with her own history. Just excising the part of her past she didn’t want to discuss anymore. “If I said it didn’t happen, it didn’t happen.”

Fred Van Lente: Yeah. Highsmith, by all accounts (particularly her girlfriends’), was a real character. It’s not hard to see how she could really get into the mindset of a sociopath like Ripley. The info in the Patricia Highsmith piece comes mostly from “The Talented Miss Highsmith,” a good if rather … elliptically written biography. The author actually talked to Timely editor Vince Fago, and that’s how we know about this disastrous date with Stan Lee. _________________________________________________________________________________________

Wayne Hotu: The “Comic Book History of Comics” “HerStory” format kind of reminds me of those old Big Books that… Vertigo? Paradox Press? used to come out with… where they devote a page to a topic/person.

Fred Van Lente: The Paradox Press Big Books were a big influence! I have almost all of them on my shelf. Geez, maybe I should try and complete a collection of that. I’ve already lost interest in bobbleheads.

Wayne Hotu: Which other famous women will you cover?

Fred Van Lente: Highsmith is #3, we do Nell Brinkley in #1, Tarpe Mills in #2. Jackie Ormes is in #4. _________________________________________________________________________________________

Dennis Calero: Give us your top reasons that you love Dennis Calero.

Fred Van Lente: Why I love Dennis Calero: 1. He joins my live chat. 2. His “Six-pack” 3. I can’t remember

Dennis Calero: Airplane vodka bottles come in 6 packs

Fred Van Lente: “My abs look like airplane vodka bottles” was my opening line to girls in college. ___________________________________________________________________________________________

Brian Cronin: When “Generation Zero” was being previewed, one of the hooks for it was “Archie Meets Authority”. If you had to write an “Archie” Comic, which one would you go for? You better say “Jughead.”

Fred Van Lente: “The Shield”. “Vic Mackey Infiltrates Riverdale”

Fred Van Lente: Sure, Jughead, I guess?

Brian Cronin: Good, I got the answer I wanted. Let’s close this chat down now!

Fred Van Lente: My grandfather had this cabin by the lake in Holland, MI and he had all these comics in a box up in the attic where we had to sleep. There were a lot of 1970s DC stuff, some real gems like “Brave and the Bold.” But then my dastardly older cousins stole them all for their personal collection. All that were left were the “Archies.” I learned a lot about Archie during that long, sad, hot summer. But in my mind he makes me think…of failure. [END SCENE] [APPLAUSE]

Brian Cronin: Hey, 1970s “Archie” comics had some great work in them. Frank Doyle, Dan DeCarlo, Samm Schwartz, George Gladir, some great creators on the books back then.

Fred Van Lente: Actually, no, “Betty and Veronica” are pretty cool. I like the idea of doing a whole comic about two high school girls trying to backstab each other. My first meeting with the editor it would be like: “Look, they brought back Bucky back, why can’t Betty FINALLY kill Veronica? I mean you know she wants it. Or maybe Veronica can kill Betty? I know: PHONE POLL! LET THE READERS DECIDE!!”

Dennis Calero: What about a “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane” type scenario?

Wayne Hotu: I’ve always been Team Veronica… why are so many other people wrong?

Fred Van Lente: I think I always liked Betty just because Veronica’s wealth is slightly intimidating.

Dennis Calero: I prefer Veronica because Betty’s poverty is crap.

Fred Van Lente: “Mr. Dennis Lodge”

Brian Cronin: The best character is clearly…Glenn Scarpelli, from “One Day at a Time”!

Brian Cronin: His father, Henry Scarpelli, was a long time “Archie” artist, so Glenn would appear in the comics when he became kind of sort of famous in the early 1980s.

Fred Van Lente: I hope Reggie and Archie kick that guy’s ass. __________________________________________________________________________________________

BikeTodd: Fred, you’ve worked for a lot of different companies just in the past year, is there a favorite among them?

Fred Van Lente: My lawyers tell me that it is bad business practice to name a favorite client on a chat forum that will later be posted on a public blog like “Comics Should Be Good.” But! Everybody’s got their strengths and weaknesses. I’ve worked for Boom, IDW, Dark Horse, Marvel, Valiant, Dynamite, and I’m working for most of those now and plan to keep doing so in the future. So they can’t be that bad, right? __________________________________________________________________________________________

Taimur Dar: I don’t suppose we’ll be seeing another Sebastian Greene mystery in the near future?

Fred Van Lente: No plans at present. I really liked how “Weird Detective” came together as a stand-alone trade paperback. Someone told me today the trade will be out in Feb 2017, so I am psyched for that. __________________________________________________________________________________________

Brian Cronin: Any plans for “Generation Zero” to cross over with any other Valiant titles?

Fred Van Lente: Generation Zero will remain in the wild, weird town of Rook, Michigan for the foreseeable future. I imagine they’ll be involved in “Harbinger Wars 2” (since they debuted in the original “Harbinger Wars”) but that’s not until 2018. __________________________________________________________________________________________

ZKrishef: Greetings, sir! I just wanted to say that I’m going to be reviewing Slapstick for a website called Critical Writ. I’m incredibly excited to review it. Everything about it looks marvelous. Have a wonderful day!

Fred Van Lente: Thanks! Reilly, Diego and I have such a great time doing that, I feel almost guilty.

Brian Cronin: Tell us something about this…Slapstick, that you speak of.

Fred Van Lente: Slapstick was named “Wizard Magazine”‘s Best New Character of…I want to say 1992? Slapstick is a living toon superhero, a kid from our world — well, the Marvel Universe — who gets transformed into Roger Rabbit, basically.

Dennis Calero: Isn’t there another Marvel cartooneqsue character? Tell me my mind, Fred Van Lente!

Mark Weisenberger Calise: I loved Slapstick.

Fred Van Lente: In our comic, he is a headcase who thinks he is a gritty, realistic superhero in the vein of the Punisher and tries to get work as a hero for hire but he ends up killing everyone because his cartoon physics actually horrible murder flesh and blood people.

Taimur Dar: I’m amazed Marvel let you do something involving Slapstick and his missing “dingus.”

Fred Van Lente: Like, I had never heard of Slapstick when Marvel asked me to do the book all I knew about him was literally: 1) He was like Who Framed Roger Rabbit was a hero 2) And he has no dick So we kinda had to expand from there you know? In our comic crazed toons from Dimension Ecch invade Earth and only Slapstick can stop them because they’re only attacking New Jersey and no one else gives a shit. And…uhmmm…Ms Marvel is…uh…in space…yeah, she’s in space.

BikeTodd: Well, it is Jersey.

Dennis Calero: Is this something to do with Crossroads of Dimensions like in that Man-Thing thing with Howard the Duck and the hot chick!

Fred Van Lente: The Nexus of All Realities doesn’t play a role here but A.R.M.O.R., the inter dimensional defense agency I created for “Marvel Zombies 3,” does (they were first seen defending the Nexus in “Marvel Zombies 3”)

Fred Van Lente: In the first four issues of “Slapstick” alone we have Bro-Man Master of the Multiverse, the Taurs (My Little Pony/Smurf centaurs) and WAR D.O.G.S., America’s Best Friend.

Brian Cronin: Like Dennis mentioned, will we see Madcap meet Slapstick at all? That would be an epic battle, much like Jesus vs. Socrates.

Dennis Calero: Madcap! Thanks, Brian, I thought I was going crazy!

Fred Van Lente They made Madcap into Deadpool’s arch-nemesis (which I think is a pretty good choice). So I think, if anything, he’s a tad over-saturated at just this moment, believe it or not.

Albert Ching: Madcap being overexposed is probably the most surprising thing to happen in 2016.

Dennis Calero: Yes. Madcap is definitely the most SURPRISING thing this year (COUGH COUGH)

Fred Van Lente: So yeah, buy “Slapstick,” it’s amazing, and there’s no movie attached to it so it’s not exactly going to burn up the sales charts. __________________________________________________________________________________________

p_keely: You have had a varied career in genres. Is there a genre you want to try?

Fred Van Lente: I’ve been doing a lot of mysteries a lot lately. My first prose novel, “Ten Dead Comedians,” will be out in July (random plug). So I’m hoping to do more of those. I love historical fiction. I had a great time with Dennis doing our Shanghai story in “Assassins Creed: Templars.” That’s a fun period of history. __________________________________________________________________________________________

Mark Belktron: Who would win in a fight, Jesus of Nazareth or Socrates?

Fred Van Lente: Mark, Jesus came back from the dead and Socrates didn’t, so I think you have your winner right there.

Dennis Calero: Even Jesus from 169th street would kick Socrates’ ass.

Mark Belktron: That is such a good answer. Thank you, Fred. __________________________________________________________________________________________

BikeTodd: Is there planned number of issues for “Generation Zero”? There has been some grumbling from the Valiant faithful over the apparent sudden end to series.

Fred Van Lente: In this instance, the fans’ fears are well-founded, looks like “Generation Zero” will only last two storyarcs. But there are two good storyarcs and I’ll be able to wrap the storyline the way I want. __________________________________________________________________________________________

RyanDunlavey: Happy Fred Van Lente Day, everybody! I am just here to let you know that Fred’s latest “Action Presidents” script did NOT make me tear up in the dentist chair yesterday. ALL LIES!

Fred Van Lente: Kind words from super-cartoonist Ryan Dunlavey!

Dennis Calero: Hey, it’s the fall me!

RyanDunlavey: Gotta go help my kid with his homework. Give him hell, Dennis!

Dennis Calero: On it!

Fred Van Lente: Yeah, that was the Theodore Roosevelt one, looking to see Ryan tear that one up.

Dennis Calero: Is there one on James Buchanan?

Fred Van Lente: Buchanan appears in “Abraham Lincoln,” does that count?

Dennis Calero: Sure, why not? __________________________________________________________________________________________

Dennis Calero: How did you feel about the musical portrayal of Hamilton? From the John Adams biography, he seems like a dick. What’s your verdict? Hero or dick?

Fred Van Lente: Oh, dick. Definitely dick. But he’s way less of a dick than Jefferson. Hamilton was OUR dick. “The People’s Dick.”

Brian Cronin: Okay, rank Adams, Jefferson, Monroe, Madison and Hamilton in dickery.

Fred Van Lente: Well, I’m not going to lie I don’t know too much about Monroe and Madison. Monroe was kind of Jefferson’s toady. Madison basically wrote the Constitution and eventually outgrew Jefferson’s shadow. Hamilton was a horndog and pretty arrogant, to the point where not apologizing to Burr when he really was kind of a dick to Burr literally got him killed. Jefferson was a racist who wrote “All men are created equal”, go figure that one out. Adams was not really someone you would want to hang out with because he was pretty headstrong and full of himself, but on the other hand he didn’t own any human beings and actively try to keep them in slavery. And despite Jefferson having written the Declaration, the intellectual foundation of the Revolution really came from Adams.

So Adams: Least Dickish, Jefferson: Most Dickish, Hamilton and Madison: Tied for second-least Dickish and Monroe= Just meh. I expect this to be a listicle on CBR tomorrow, Brian.

Wayne Hotu: Which one did William Daniels play in that movie?

Brian Cronin: Adams

Mark Weisenberger Calise: William Daniels played Adams in the original Broadway cast of “1776” too, I believe

Brian Cronin: Yep.

Fred Van Lente: I saw Brent Spiner play Adams in “1776.” He was rad

Dennis Calero: Brent Spiner should have chosen one night to play Data playing Adams.

Brian Cronin: That would have been too much awesomeness for the audience to handle

Fred Van Lente: “SIT DOWN, JOHN, SIT DOWN” “All right” (Data sits)

Fred Van Lente: I really like “Hamilton,” but it’s no “1776,” partly because it’s a straight-up biopic and not about this very specific drama of trying to get the Declaration out. So it’s a lot more … flabbier is the wrong word, but because a guy’s life story can’t be as dramatically structured.

Brian Cronin: Absolutely agreed. “Hamilton” is a great musical. I just like “1776” even better.

Fred Van Lente: Seconded. __________________________________________________________________________________________

Brian Cronin: How do you and Reilly write Slapstick? Co-plot and then you script?

Fred Van Lente: Reilly and I go to a bar and drink for like a sold two hours. I write out what we talked about semi-legibly on a single piece of paper. I tear off this piece of paper and give it to him and he types it for our editors because I was, like, “If you want to be co-writer you’ve got to like actually type some shit.”

Brian Cronin: Seems fair

Fred Van Lente: Marvel approves/disapproves/comments. Reilly draws out rough layouts — they’re called “storyboards” in the credits but they’re really more like regular comics thumbnails. And then Diego pencils and inks over them. Once all the pencils are done, I do lettering script that Reilly approves/comments on before I give to Marvel. So it’s kind of like regular Marvel Style just with a breakdown/co-writer component (Reilly)

Brian Cronin: It sounds a bit like how Giffen and DeMatteis did “Justice League International.” Although I think Giffen plotted solo.

Fred Van Lente: Yeah, Giffen/DeMatteis on “JLI” was my inspiration.

Brian Cronin: Well, it certainly worked out for a hilarious comic when Giffen and DeMatteis did it.

Fred Van Lente: I am super happy with it. I hope people check it out. __________________________________________________________________________________________

Taimur Dar: I know before “Slapstick,” Reilly did an “Incredible Hercules” story. Was that first time you worked together or was there something else before that?

Fred Van Lente: You know, I think that was the first time, the Thorcules arc of “iHerc.” He lives nearby and we became fast pals after that __________________________________________________________________________________________

Fred Van Lente: Wow, that hour flew by … last licks anybody?

Brian Cronin: Plug “Action Presidents”!

Fred Van Lente: I will plug “Action Presidents” on the THIRTEENTH Fred Van Lente Day chat because it will not be out until Presidents Day 2018. But it will be glorious and awesome. All four hardback books of it.

Dennis Calero: Plug the “Templar” trade!!!

Fred Van Lente: “Assassins Creed Templars: Black Cross” is 5 issues of Jazz Age Shanghai mayhem by Mr. Dennis Calero and myself currently available from Titan. It’s great historical adventure/mystery in the AC world, check it out.

Brian Cronin: Plug other stuff!

Fred Van Lente: “Generation Zero” is currently on-going from Valiant (at least for the next five months).

Fred Van Lente: Coming soon: “Z-Nation: Black Summer,” written by the show’s co-creator Craig Engler and me from Dynamite not too far into 2017. A NEW Marvel project that they wouldn’t let me announce today because they didn’t want it to get lost in the X-Rollout (which made sense to me) “Ten Dead Comedian” A Murder Mystery from Quirk Books next July. “Weird Detective” trade paperback from Dark Horse in 2017. That’s it … I think!

Brian Cronin: Plug something for Crystal!

Fred Van Lente: Come see my wife Crystal Skillman’s new play “Open” in February in NYC!

Fred Van Lente: Dennis is writing/drawing “Assassins Creed Templars” right now. Go get it!

Dennis Calero: Thanks, Fred!

Brian Cronin: Thanks, Fred for another awesome Fred Van Lente Day chat!

Fred Van Lente: Thanks, Brian. And most importantly….thanks, Glenn Scarpelli. Wherever you are.

The post 2016 Fred Van Lente Day Chat Transcript appeared first on CBR.com.

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