#i feel like someone like val fucking LOVED becoming a demon of the kind he is -- the physical power of it

[justanotherhh]

I wonder if the less "human"-looking demons ever catch themselves in the mirror and feel disconnected to their own bodies. i wonder if some of them try to remember what they used to look like, and if others embrace the inhumanity of their new selves, perhaps prefer this self as a "truer" interpretation of who they've always been

[unknowconcreteflower-art-blog-me]

Why Husker will be the driving force to save Angel Dust; Instagram deep-dive story! Angelhusk explained.

Okay full disclosure Hazbin Hotel is an adult cartoon has dark touchy subject matter so please tread carefully. This goes into shipper territory and I don’t want to get attack in my inbox about this or attacking each other too much shipping wars plus I’m a multi-shipper... But for the sake of this post it’s going to be all fuel Angelhusk (or Huskerdust), yes okay great thank you. This is a continuation of my previous post which was just a prequel to this one. I ended the post saying Husker will be the one to reach out to Angel and helping him. 

First I’ll be breaking down Husker’s first appearance and how his character is. When Alastor first summons him, he’s very pissed off when he’s pulled from the poker game. And he’s very quick show his anger, without fear despite Alastor being “one of the most powerful demons in Hell”, and does not care. Though this is a very short interaction we know that Husker does not put up with BS, he’s a drinker, and a poker player. How is this important to Angel Dust? Well Angel Dust, often hypes himself up but also tears himself down in the process, emphasizing that during the limo ride after being scolded by Vaggie that “his body is flawless, everybody wants a piece”... and thinks that’s all anybody wants from him. This is Angel’s way of protecting himself; he flirts with them first before they can hurt him, it’s just hidden with his confidence.

In reality he thinks everyone looks down on him, which is why he doesn’t accept help or confine in Charlie (like when he flipped her off )he isn’t taking a pity party. Angel hides his pain with vibrato and at the same time is too prideful to ask for help... he won’t admit when he’s in trouble. I explained this a little more in detail in my previous post why he thinks Charlie and Vaggie look down on him. But with Husker he in the same boat; using his addictions (gambling & drinking) to cope with his problems. Angel will be more incline to gravitate towards Husker and telling him his problems. I say this because it’s the same reason why Angel confines in Cherri, and is close with her. And unlike Charlie who can be naive at time ( don’t get me wrong I still love her), Husker will know when he’s over stepping his boundaries, and when to helping him since he’s going through something similar.

(Charlie wanting to help Angel but doesn’t know how...)

So all of you maybe wondering, how is Husker gonna help Angel dust then if he hides his problems like that. Vivziepop made Husker a poker-player for a reason, he knows how to tell if someone’s bluffing. And it’s already been established that Angel has a terrible poker face... so Angel can’t lie to Husker. This is why he was angry at Angel’s flirting when they first meet because he already sees through his facade, (plus he’s shy about it). He knows that he doesn’t really meant and he’s hiding something. His sense and observation skills are very necessary cause he can spot when Angel’s actually in trouble.

links to official instagrams below to follow the narrative: 

Angel’s instagram/Husker’s instagram/Nifty’s instagram/Sir Pentious’ instagram

This post starts the saga where Angel is waiting to be picked up at the studio. Saying “Waiting at the studio to...Be picked up for some fucking...Food.”, Val is quick comment on this saying “Forgot to pick you,lol.” and takes the chance to make him like an after thought and after Angel asks to be picked up again Val answer back “yeah but we are filming, I already ate.” just to rub it in. But that’s where Huskers intervenes and get Angel something to eat ,  and there’s a key detail here that it’s only Husker that comes to his aid. Now most of the main cast has an Instagram so you’d think they’d help him but they don’t... They all probably think he’s just being cute and sassy totally unaware of the Angel’s situation with Valentino, but we the audience know... (I’ll bring this point back later)

This one post is enough for Husker to be able see that Angel was really in trouble, which is why he goes out of his way to get him something to eat. And I would also like to point out after this post Husker starts following Angel’s instagram liking all his instagram posts. There’s more to this... keep in mind he starts following Angel after his posts about being tired and hungry. He’s not following him just because he has a “little crush” on Angel... he’s doing this because he wants to make sure Angel’s doing okay. He cares about Angel Dust well being and follows him to make sure doesn’t go hungry again. But during this time Angel isn’t aware of this... that Husker doing this out of worrying for Angel. I say this because right after Angel gets Husker tickets to his strip show, as “thank you” for the food. Showing that he trusts Husker but not entirely...

At this point Angel I don’t believe that he sees Husker’s actions as a gustier of genuine kindness towards him. No, he sees Husker as someone who just wants his body and this is just his way of getting towards that goal. Offering his services (or being flirty) is Angel way of not getting attach to someone (like I’ve said before): think of it as “ripping the band-aid quick off before it hurts more...”  it’s so he doesn’t get hurt again like with Valentino. I believe Val also managed manipulated Angel by doing nice things for him at first, like saying nice words or buying him nice gifts as means to just use him for his body (this is a real thing pimps do). And Angel thinks Husk is no different from the other guys who used him, that what everybody wants from him... he might as well give him what he wants. 

Night of the show rolls around and Husker misses it, kitty got too drunk... which we know takes place during the music video of Addict. In which we get another post about backs my statement the cast doesn’t know about Angel’s abuse. Nifty’s posts a pic, of Angel Dust looking sad after his show... saying “Saw Angel earlier, i hope he doesn’t leave the butts there 😅” Nifty wouldn’t have posted this if she knew what was going on. But Husker knows, that Angel’s depressed and feels bad about missing the show commenting “Oh fuck is that what I missed. Aw shit.” Feeling very guilty about missing Angels, usually Husk tends to hide his feelings but in this moment is very honest. Meaning he really did want to go to the show, not only that but realizes that Angel is actually upset. And he didn’t have to post this comment on Angel’s instagram but he had to he wanted to show that he was remorseful for not coming showing he is attracted to Angel Dust. 

This picks up to with a post with Husker saying “Ugh... Since I missed the show, @angie_fluffy_bootz is sayin I owe him one and is making me watch his fuckin pig... I ain’t a fuckin babysitter!” in which babysits Fat Nuggets, which means he went out of his way to say “ what can I do to make it up to you”, and the conversation after it is a major turning point in the relationship for them. In the comment section Husker complains that Fat Nuggets ate all the food at the bar and says he wants to be payed back. Angel’s offer to pay him pay with a “private show”, in the only way thing he thinks Husker wants (I mean that all anybody ever wants from him). He does this with his usually flirty response, but it’s very different (this is a cut version of the convo.):

Angel: “tell ya what I’ll pay ya back with another private show”

Husker: “...I’m not doing that.

Angel: that or nothing babe. I think it’s a good deal.

Husker:“Jesus fucking Christ...” 

Angel: Ugh. Fine I’ll quit it. Only if you join me for shakes.

Husker: Yeah okay I think I can do that. 

This is major turning point in their relationship; this conversation is very important. Like I said before this is just his way of ripping the band-aid but there’s a reason why he’s really pushing it this time. It’s because Angel knows that he’s starting to catching feelings for Husker. And he’s not sure if Husker wants his body or if really means it. And the matter of the situation is Husker’s feeling the same way. When Husker says “Jesus fucking Christ...” it’s his way of saying “For the last time I don’t want your body, I’m not playing this game”... Here’s the thing Husker believes he’s proven enough that he doesn’t see Angel as a sex object, he’s more tried of the facade than he is annoyed. He doesn’t want Angel Dust to be a “fuck buddy” to him...

And this is a major turning point in their relationship, Angel finally understands that Husker just wants to be there for him. This is why he offers to go out with shakes with him, and of course Husker denies it and says “it’s not a date...”, but we know Husker is happy, because he’s willing accept this as being payed back for the food fat nuggets are, to him this was enough. Needless to say to say it was very cute and I loved it. Not only that but Husker becomes more active on Instagram and low-key tries to flirt back to Angel in his own grumpy cat way. 

Try and tell me they aren’t flirting with each other!

A week after their date Angel Dust does a instagram post showing off his new outfit he got and Husker is quick to ask “why so many zippers”, he’s still too nervous to flirt directly Angel Dust responses with “More to pull down, respond...” Huskers clueless and responses with a “eh” still likes it anyway (the feelings are mutual now). And within the same week Husker posts his own selfie“ Wanted to wear a tie for once. 🥃”, posting one because of Angel. And this isn’t for nothing the pics clearly mirror each other (no pun intended). Just-wanted-to-wear-a-tie-for-once-my-foot ..he clearly did this to impress Angel with him asking “If he needs help with that tie...”, with Husker still being oblivious with the sexual reference but kitty’s still trying. 

This to me highlights why Angel is good for Husker (and vice-versa)... During his first appearance he comments “I lost the ability to love years ago...” and drinks down his booze. Which alludes to why he drinks because he feels lonely. Angel makes him active thus eliminating his reason to drink, as we can see through Husk trying things he hasn’t done before like wearing nice clothes. Now he didn’t have to but Husker pushed himself to be better. As for Angel it gives him a genuine romantic relationship that is centered by an emotional connection and not physically. Husker prioritizes Angels feelings and well-being first.

And for those of you that are confused with Huskers grumpy tendencies. In an interview Viviziepop has said about him is that he is a tsundere. Now a tsundere, it is a character the initially appearing as cold and hostile only to hide their true feelings. This is a troupe used  many times in animes (but if you are not familiar with the term or need an example of one Helga from Hey Arnold is a prime example of one).  His actions disregard his attitude towards Angel... Most of his grumpy responses to Angel are to hide his feelings for him and never used to cut down or degrade Angel Dust (like Val does). I will even argue that Husker is the total opposite of Valentino; Val uses flashiness and with sweet words to hide his heinous and vile intentions. While Husker seems hotheaded and temperamental initially his actions show he’s actually a very kind and caring individual and Angel defiantly sees that...

HUSKER MADE THE WALL!

Angel is special to Husker and he feels the same way... Now and is upper there with Fat Nuggets and Cherri Bomb. And of course Husker is embarrassed, realizing his pics there too saying “what the fuck!” but we know he’s happy. At this post we can assume that Husker is just as important to him as Cherri & Fat Nuggets is to him... and vice-versa. Which is why I believe that Husker will be the one Angel reaches out to first for help within the Hazbin Hotel. And I know some of you may not be convinced, that it’s just platonic or think that Husker just sees him as a friend, but as we know Husker is not a man of words... but a man of action! 

There is a key detail in this story that I’ve been keeping under-warps up until now, (and the reason why it took me so long to because once I found it piece of info; I had to change my original plans for this post). 

Remember how I said that the rest of the cast doesn’t know what’s going on with Val... and that Husker’s observation skills were going to be integral in helping save Angel. Well around the same time as the PJ pic... on Sir Pentious’ instagram he posts a pic of himself trying to make his minions look like Valentino and Vox: I wasn’t even trying to find this but low and behold guess who pops up in the comment section...

Now what does this post say to you. (Husker also liked the post too)

Now repeat after me...“You don’t hear shit about people unless you go looking for it.” ... HUSKER KNOWS!  My theory is that he’s been suspecting that there was something up with Val, ever since the pick-up post, so he’s been keep tabs on instagram Angel to make sure he was safe. And as time went on Angel became more precious to him and became more worried about him. And Husker not wanting to overstep his bounds by asking Angel directly, (because it’s none of his business but still super worried) so he goes around digging info on Valentino. SO then he probably knows that he abuses his workers.  

(Or Angel told him whats happening... I’m leaning towards that Husker did his own digging because narratively it would be too soon and we wouldn’t have a story to tell and would have told Charlie and the rest of the crew too already... Either way..)

Val sent him this, scumbag! And it only takes Husker seconds to defend him and makes sure Angel knows he’s not fat. (most recent post)

Husker has knows, he’s actively been looking into Valentino and the shit he’s done, because he wants to protect Angel Dust! And it’s evident now, he has been defending him on Instagram as well, now being in the know, Husker defending his boy! He is not afraid of Valentino and is not putting up with his BS for putting down Angel anymore... our boy Husker is watching you rat-man.

He maybe the only one who knows that Valentino is abusing Angel (or catching on to it). Which will lead Angel coming clean about how Valentino raped him... And at this point Angel trusts Husker so much that he maybe willing to listen to him when he says “Hey you need to tell someone” or “you need help” and Husker already knows Angel well enough to know how to help him without having Angel push him away. 

AND THAT is why I believe he will be the major driving force in saving Angel from the RAT-MAN (Val)... And we know Husker isn’t afraid of overlords; he’s gonna protect his boy. He is proven time and time again that he loves and cares for Angel Dust so much... and oh I’m gushing now.

AND LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE! I just want them to be happy, I want the best for our bois!

Thank you and I hope you all enjoyed the post (and please no shipping war in the comment section I don’t condone it whether you support it or not! Not fighting in the fandom)

[a-byronic-heroine]

Kly as an in-game companion

RECRUITMENT

• She can be found in the jail beneath the Chantry in a cell after the “Wrath of Heaven” quest and title card. The first conversation occurs when the Inquisitor finds her. They discuss her presence, how she got there and who she is. The Inquisitor can continually approach her for conversation.

• After “Champions of the Just”, Kly is very angry and pacing. She warns the Inquisitor of the consequences of this. If the Inquisitor is dismissive, Kly warns them of the consequences of their actions. If the Inquisitor investigates, they learn more of Kly’s backstory. If they agree or remain neutral, Kly warns them they’ve made enemies and to watch their back.

• After “In Hushed Whispers”, if approached in her cell, Kly asks about the future the Inquisitor saw, and offers her sincere gratitude as well as appearing pensive and uneasy. The Inquisitor has the option to investigate and learn more of Kly’s backstory.

• At Skyhold, she is a subject of a Judgement. The Inquisitor can to give her to the Chantry and Orlais in an act of diplomacy, make her an agent of the Inquisition and companion, or give her to the Templars as executing her in Skyhold itself is deemed too risky without a greater templar presence. If she isn’t recruited, a War Table mission becomes available saying she has escaped custody and fled. She joins Corypheus along with the Underground without the positive influence of the Inquisitor and becomes an enemy.

• Kly can be found in the infirmary area of Skyhold as a companion. Ambient NPCs will occasionally mention “the blood mage” healing them or curing ailments.

CONVERSATIONS

Hostile greetings:

“You again?”

“What now?”

“Do you ever leave?”

Hostile farewells:

“Yeah.”

“And a merry fuck off to you too.”

“Finally.”

Neutral greetings:

“Ah, Inquisitor.”

“Yes?”

“Are you here for healing?”

Neutral farewells:

“Good day, Inquisitor.”

“Farewell, Inquisitor.”

“So long.”

Warm greetings:

“Ah, hello.”

“It’s good to see you.”

“All is well, I trust?”

Warm farewells:

“I quite enjoy these talks.”

“Come see me again soon.”

“Be well, my friend.”

Romanced greetings:

“So forward.”

“Yes, dear?”

“You look particularly lovely today.”

Romanced farewells:

“I’ll meet you in your rooms later.”

“What? No goodbye kiss?”

“I already miss you.”

DECISIONS

• She greatly approves of helping Ferelden citizens, killing templars and siding with mages. If she goes to Ferelden, she’ll sometimes give little tidbits of information like the origin of the mabari, the Blight’s affect on the land, history, noble houses, etc.

• She greatly disapproves of conscripting the mages or siding with/aiding any Templar forces. She only disapproves of disbanding and conscripting Templars.

• She approves of talking with spirits and demons, including the demon Imshael, instead of just immediately attacking them. Though she greatly disagrees with any deals made with them.

• She cannot be taken as a companion to Val Royeaux, as she’s considered a terrorist. During “Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts”, Kly can actually be found there, tough she is in disguise. If spoken to, she’ll say she’s there for “no reason” and cannot be spoken to again.

OPINIONS ON THE OTHER COMPANIONS

• She greatly disapproves of Vivienne’s recruitment. Anytime they’re in the same party, they’re particularly malicious with each other. She usually doesn’t even use her name when asked about her. She’ll call her Vivisection, Vasectomy or Venereal when asked about her. Kly will say “she was hot until she opened her mouth”.

• She distrusts Blackwall because “no one is that nice naturally” but otherwise gets along with him. She approves of his recruitment, and after his betrayal will disapprove of him becoming a warden. She is neutral towards romances with Blackwall. Pre-Ranier she’ll say “I guess it works. No pregnancy, limited number of years available for them to betray you. Quite the neat package”. Post-Rainer, she’ll say “It’s noble to forgive him for what he did. I only wish others could be as forgiving with me.”

• She approves of recruiting Dorian. She also approves of romances with Dorian. When they’re in the same party, they usually talk about how ridiculous they think Andrastianism is. If Dorian is romanced she’ll say it’s “nice not everyone hates mages”.

• She approves of recruiting Cole. She’s neutral to whether he becomes more or less spirit-like. She treats Cole a lot like a child when they’re in the same party, so she’s extremely gentle and patient with him even when he does “that mind thing I told you not to do”.

• She gets along well with Solas. If they’re in the same party, they’ll often discuss magical theory and what Solas has seen in the Fade. She approves of romances with Solas. If he romances the Inquisitor, she will mention it in party and say “I understand why you only like elf girls. I quite like them, myself. First crush I ever had was on a Dalish girl”.

• She disapproves of recruiting Iron Bull because he follows the Qun which is just as bad if not worse than the Chantry in her mind. If he becomes Tal Vashoth, she gets along well with him. If Bull romances the Inquisitor and he’s Tal Vashoth, Kly approves, mentioning the forgiveness thing she does with Blackwall’s romance post-Ranier. If Bull is still Ben Hasraath during a romance, Kly will warn the Inquisitor to watch their back. If they’re a mage, Kly will take them aside to try and dissuade them. In parties, Bull usually jokes about blood magic with her, claiming it will do fantastical things, and she’ll usually laugh and correct him.

• Kly dislikes Varric because he “asks too many questions” at first, though her relationship becomes more amicable the more they interact. His nickname for her is usually “paper cut”. In parties, he’ll ask her things like what she did in Kirkwall, where in Ferelden she’s from, etc. Kly will usually be truthful, but when he gets too close to an uncomfortable subject, she’ll just say “no, nope, not telling. New question!”.

• She’s neutral towards Sera, though Sera will disapprove of her recruitment. Sera’s relationship with Solas is similar to the one she has with Kly. Sera will tell Kly her magic is gross, Kly will offer her situations where it’s saved lives and Sera will blow her off, that kind of thing. Kly actually appreciates Sera’s pranks, even when played on her. She says they remind her of a simpler time though she never elaborates. Kly is neutral on romances with Sera. She’ll say “She’s certainly cute, but when she speaks, I can rarely keep up. It’s exhausting”.

• For obvious reasons Kly and Cassandra don’t get along. They often bicker about issues of religion and the Chantry when in the same party. Kly will bring up the times the Chantry uses blood magic or has committed mass murder and Cassandra will bring up blood mage crimes, even hinting at the one involving her family. Kly will take the Inquisitor aside if they’re a mage and pursue a relationship with Cassandra to try and dissuade them. She’ll usually remark “how does that work with that stick always up her arse?”.

OPINIONS ON ADVISORS

•Josephine reminds Kly of her mother in many ways, she’ll say as much. She’ll also say she find’s Josephine’s attempts at peaceful approaches to situations refreshing after all the war she’s seen. Kly will approve of a romance with her. She’ll say “I hope you’re ready for the most ridiculously lavish engagement parties you’ve ever seen”.

• In her opinion, Sister Nightingale has always had her fingers on the big moments in history. She’ll wonder aloud if that’s a good or a bad thing given these turns of events. If a Cousland was the Hero of Ferelden, Kly will remark on the relationship she had with her sibling whether it was friendly or romantic. If Leliana was killed in DA:O, Kly will not mention her.

•She’ll say she “knew of” Cullen at Kirkwall as he was rather notorious. If asked about Kinloch, she’ll say she has no idea if he was there during her tenure there. She will say he’s changed his tune, but she will still doubt his sincerity on the matter. If Cullen comes off lyrium, she’ll occasionally mention his blood feels like he’s not a Templar though she will not investigate the matter. If the Inquisitor is a mage, Kly will take them aside if they pursue a relationship with him and will try to dissuade them.

COMPANION QUESTS/CUTSCENES

• Kly’s first actual companion cutscene is at Skyhold. Just after her Judgement. She can be found doing blood magic to transfuse blood between soldiers. She is glaring at a very conspicuous Templar watching her. She asks if he’s a necessary precaution; the Inquisitor in some way reminds her she’s on thin ice. Kly says nothing would ever absolve her in the Maker’s or Chantry’s eyes before asking if the Inquisitor believes in the Chantry after what Corypheus said. 

• After “Here Lies the Abyss”, Kly asks the Inquisitor how they’re faring. She does a check up and talks about what she was doing during the last Blight and admits she’s sympathetic to the Wardens’ original intentions. If a Cousland was the Warden, Kly mentions it and her family can be further inquired about. A WT quest opens up with Fergus Cousland inquiring about rumors relating to his sister. The Inquisitor can send a missive being honest about her presence (Josephine) or they can lie to keep Kly’s presence secret (Leliana).

•After “Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts”, the Inquisitor asks what Kly was doing in Orlais at the ball. Kly speaks vaguely about a job for someone. It’s implied this is the Mage Underground. There are no approval changes. A WT mission opens about a string of dead nobles and Chantry officials in Orlais. Leliana’s spies know it was Kly. Leliana mentions many of the assassinations were helpful. The Inquisitor can send money to the families and Chantry with anonymous donations (Josephine), can put allies in the positions that need to be filled (Leliana), or a detail can be assigned to keep an eye on Kly to see if she tries anything else (Cullen).

• Kly’s companion quest starts with Kly mentioning she received a missive from an acquaintance and asks the Inquisitor to come with her to Redcliffe. The cutscene goes to the docks where a Tranquil mage is waiting. Kly speaks with the Tranquil, asking if they remember her and “the pact”. The Tranquil will mention they had been waiting for her. Then she will kill the Tranquil. The Inquisitor will be stunned and ask why Kly killed them. Kly will explain that this was an agent for the Underground and they fought during the war together. She talks about the promise they made to kill each other if one ever became Tranquil. If the Inquisitor disapproves, Kly will tell them she trusted them with this but was wrong to do so and she will greatly disapprove. If the Inquisitor approves, Kly thanks them for their understanding and asks if they can help bury them.

• Back at Skyhold, Kly will barge into a meeting of the Inquisitor and their advisors saying they have a problem. Kly shows them a missive explaining that the Underground has allied secretly with Corypheus. She’s been given orders to murder the Inquisitor. Kly has decided the Underground is no longer the force for good it originally was. There is an option to remove her as a companion. If this is done, she just disappears somewhere in Ferelden. If the Inquisitor is supportive of Kly, a War Table mission for Leliana opens to purge the Inquisition of Underground loyalists with Kly’s help.

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Egg Meeting 3/14/2021

Alastor visits Valera on Okkylk to “meet” an egg! An egg which hasn’t been laid yet, but like, it buzzes in magic static that Radio Demons can detect, so it’s still an interesting thing to meet if you’re an Alastor.

Alastor and Valera spend way too much time talking about the weird magical interdimensional tricks that Valera’s species can do because at one point Valera went “Alastor mentioned some of his occult experiences and I have decided I will be polite and NOT ask him about them” while Alastor went “Valera mentioned some of their occult experiences and they’re absolutely fascinating so I’m going to crack open my little grimoire and ASK A HUNDRED QUESTIONS and TAKE LOTS OF NOTES.”

He also somehow finagles himself into maybe being a fake-uncle, making the short list for a hypothetical godparent position, and definitely being the official Nightmare PTA Representative at any future school functions.

They also ended up following up on this conversation and it was awful and nobody enjoyed it.

(Starts as semi-OOC chatter and then segues into fully IC)

Alastor

SHOW HIM HIS FUTURE FAUX-NIBLING

Valera

He can meet Eelizzy the spectacular staticy egg

dazzler of, as of now, 100% of the people who've met this literal fetus in an egg in someone's goddamn stomach

Alastor

It’s definitely a lot louder than he generally expects eggs to be. Not, like, *audibly* loud. But still loud.

Valera

it is the sensation of like. those old tvs. the kind of fuzzy when you run your hands in the air right over the glass

Alastor

That’s a good stim

Valera

It's a GOOD STIM and now Val has just accepted that people are going to want to skim their hands over her stomach every time Egg goes brrrr

Alastor

He only does it for a couple of seconds before he’s like what the *fuck* am I doing that is somebody’s belly and stops himself and apologizes, how very rude of him

(But once the egg is laid all bets are off)

Valera

That egg is gonna get so much touching.

Alastor

Everyone with their hands over this egg like it’s the dead of winter and the egg is the only fireplace for miles

Valera

If eelizzy didn't want that she should have thought about it before she decided to be a stim

Egg buzzes rhythmically to music, and the lil beanie baby of A Child inside will kinda wiggle to the beat, which right now Val feels as a vague shifting of weight.

This thing has been exposed to music since it was conceived, it's too late for her

Alastor

Alastor will absolutely play some music for this egg to hear it buzz along

He’s like “You know my mother told me that when she was carrying me, a ghost would come to her and sing for me! She stopped hearing him when I was born. I don’t think I buzzed, though.” And then goes back to playing music like this is a totally normal fact to share out of the blue.

Valera

That's a very normal and not at all weird thing to tell someone. Yep. Fun little factoid to share with a friend.

Val just has to accept this as a new thing they know!!! "Well, hopefully I won't stop hearing you when Elizzy is born! I'm not too bad at charades, but it *would* complicate things."

Alastor

“Well, you could hear me just fine before then, so it’s probably fine!

Valera

Alastor sure had a WEIRD LIFE and Val is NOT SURE what to make of the snippets they heard. Humans aren't usually so Aware

Alastor

:) a special boy

Valera

On one hand, they almost want to *congratulate* him, on the other, did he get robbed of a normal childhood??? Should they offer condolences??? Help.

Alastor

:) :)

Valera

It worked out for him at least but at what cost....

Val doesn't actually know anything about his home life growing up! Like did he have a dad in the picture? Match and Leal didn't, but This guy has Surprised Her Before

Alastor

:) :) :)

Does Val ask or just Wonder?

Valera

They're still anxious about Alastor getting the wrong idea from them asking questions so they would Not ask.

They kept scwunching at the rehearsal because Leal was sitting with their main body patting them and singing in french to Soothe Their Dumb Ass

Alastor

So he just shares a weird-ass anecdote and then they marinate in the moment. Delightfully awkward

Valera

YEP

A little quip and then several seconds of dead air while Val goes on a face journey.

valera, wildly overthinking the second she doesn't have someone literally or figuratively holding her hand through a Social Interaction With Someone She Is Unsure Of Boundaries With

alastor: I was a haunted baby.

val: ..................... cool

Alastor

Alastor: and now I’m haunting YOUR baby! Haha isn’t that fun

Valera

Valera: A proud and noble tradition of baby haunting. Can't wait to see who she decides to haunt later in life.

Alastor

Alastor: ......... Do Veci have ghosts when they die?

He doesn’t know how Veci work, just that afterlives are something that happens to other people

Valera

Val: Nope, when we die for good our gods destroy our souls and recycle them. Unless you're an Autocrat, then you're turned into one of their little puppets used to enact their divine will and guide the next Autocrat. She'll have to find a mortal soul to haunt as a spirit.

Veci who die get put into the soul blender to get recycled for fresh soul meat

Alastor

Alastor: Pity. Environmentally friendly, I suppose.

Alastor: We just get thrown in the landfill and once a year a bunch of us get scooped into the trash compactor.

Valera

val: It's efficient! Kinda gross though, being made of the ground meat of souls. At least I get to look forward to a continued existence as some fucked up angel analog when someone makes me bite it someday. Wonder if I'll still recognize my kids?

Pat pat belly.

Alastor

Alastor: Can you ask your puppet predecessor?

Valera

val: I could try! He did have a daughter who's still alive, maybe if I made him manifest around her I'd get a reaction.

Alastor

Alastor: For her sake, I hope he does! Can’t imagine how awful it’d be if he didn’t! Although I don’t know how close you folks are to your ancestors. Even on Earth it varies.

Valera

val: Oh, very close! There are rooms in the Reppetto Compound still left exactly as the old owners left them when they died *hundreds* of years ago. There's never been a reason to clear them out, so we don't. I visit them occasionally, pay my respects. That's just the Veci though, I think the other species are much more practical.

Alastor

Alastor: ... And yet most of your ancestors get... “recycled.” They’re no longer around to visit the rooms left for them. That *is* a pity.

Alastor: Do Veci ever recognize shreds of their loved ones in their reincarnations?

Valera

val: Yes! It isn't unheard of for lovers to find each other again through old fragments, or a son to find that his child tugs at his soul to remind him of a dearly departed mother. Plenty of people recognize parts of me, some more strongly than others. Shreds tend to find their way back to their families. Sons, daughters, if you've experienced a loss you may find some glimmer of that person again in a generation or two.

Alastor

Alastor: Hm. Not quite gone forever, then. That’s good—the alternative is just too depressing, isn’t it!

Valera

val: Indeed! Full on reincarnation has even happened a few times, though the odds are, obviously, *incredibly* slim. We did have one guy though, who got reincarnated *three times in a row*. He's still alive, I've met him. Absolutely off the shits, never met someone less sane.

Alastor

Alastor: Hah! Is madness a prerequisite or side-effect to full blown reincarnation?

Valera

val: A side effect, I imagine! That would probably mean remembering getting your essence shredded and then falling back together. He likes to say he's "all there but the mind". What about you though? Was your culture close to your ancestors?

Alastor

Alastor: One side closer than the other. Some humans reincarnate, I’m given to understand, but where I’m from once you’re ejected from your body you tend not to get a replacement. Some stick around, most move on to one afterlife or another—and at that point you mainly reach them through long-distance calls, spiritually speaking. They’re still *there,* but... not on the same *level* that we are.

Alastor: It’s a trade off, I suppose—no reincarnation means no way to see them in the flesh again, but on the other hand they’re always *themselves*—they never become somebody different.

Valera

val: That.. Is very alien, to me. But I don't dislike the concept. Preserved in time, an individual forever, able to be reached but not touched. I guess, for us, since we live such a long time... We get a lot of time with people. By the time they leave us, they've usually said all they'd ever want to. If they pop up again it's just a nice surprise.

Alastor

Alastor: We seem to only get enough time to figure out what we're doing and pass on a fraction of our tricks to the next generation or two, and then we're gone and our descendants have to bumble around just like we did! Maybe we need ghosts more.

Valera

val: Sounds like you need more haunted babies to me, Alastor.

Alastor

Alastor: Why, are there any others around for me to haunt?

Alastor: anyway, I wouldn't make a very good ancestor, considering my distinct lack of descendants.

Valera

val: Just pick a baby and declare yourself part of their life! Step-Ancestor them before they can blink!

val: In all seriousness, Leal's already conceded the title of uncle to you despite you not even asking for it, I think you can figure something out.

Alastor

Alastor: I— Has he?

Alastor: Well—I was about to get all presumptuous and commandeer it myself, but—er. Good. Thank you. Him.

Valera

Val: He has indeed. As he puts it, you were here first, and you're Penny's best friend so *obviously* the role of honorary uncle should be yours. If sinners did godparents, I'm sure he'd ask you to be hers. Or I assume as much!

Alastor

Alastor: ... oh. Well. I'd hoped, actually...

Awkward shuffle.

Alastor: ... I mean, a child can have more than one uncle.

Valera

val: What had you hoped, Alastor? I won't laugh or anything, I just need you to be clear with me.

Alastor

Alastor: ... to be that.

Valera

val: What, to be an uncle? Or a godparent?

Alastor

Alastor: I'm not picky about the term. Someone close enough to matter. Uncle, probably, I suppose. I don't know what a damned sinner would do as a godparent—but I wouldn't turn it down.

Valera

A thoughtful look.

val: I'd love to have you be an important part of my child's life, Alastor. Though, from what I *understand* of modern human customs, a non-religious godparent usually just means that if the parents die, the godparent steps in to either raise the kid or find them a home that would raise them the way the parents would want. Largely symbolic, but important nonetheless.

Alastor

Alastor: It's hard to be non-religious within a religious afterlife. But—just for the record, if anything happened to you two and you *didn't* have a plan in place, I'd probably be charging in to do that myself anyway. I'm not about to leave that child in the hands of somebody who's going to be halfhearted about it.

Valera

Val: Well there you go! Already ready to do your job, and you haven't even been handed the paperwork or negotiated a salary.

Alastor

Alastor: IS there paperwork?

He's giving a Skeptical Look

Valera

Val: What, you think they'd hand over an orphan child to any guy who showed up claiming to be a family friend? They like seeing some documents saying "if I die this guy is who I want protecting my kids while they're vulnerable".

Alastor

Alastor: ... All right, fair enough! I was just going to kidnap her and flee into the night, but I suppose a paper or two would keep law enforcement off my back.

Valera

Val: I'm flattered that you'd get in trouble with the interdimensional magic fish police for Eelizzy's sake, but let's spare everyone the hassle. I'll talk to Penny, see if he wants to do the godparents thing at all, but I know what name I'd be floating.

Alastor

Alastor: Well—that's fine, then. Thank you. It's an honor to be considered either way.

He's all self-conscious now, look at this awkward man

Valera

Val: Of course! And at the VERY least I want you to be close to her when she hatches. Good old _Uncle Alastor_ to spoil her when Penny and I are busy.

Look what happens when you actually tell Valera what you want. Blurses. Blessings and curses.

Alastor

Look at him he's got heart eyes

Alastor: Fortunately, I'm an expert at spoiling other people's children! Don't you worry, I'll be loading her up with penny candy and letting her get in all the trouble she wants. Maybe even nickel candy if I'm feeling generous.

Valera

Val: How generous! And speaking of candy, that reminds me. I visited New Orleans recently on business and picked up a few treats while I was there. Do you want some roman candy? I know you don't have a sweet tooth, but it seems like something one should offer regardless.

Alastor

Alastor: ... They're still making that? Is it the real deal or did the family sell the franchise to some big candy company?

Valera

Val: I bought it from the same old wagon as always, so I believe it's authentic! Wax paper and all!

Alastor

Alastor: Well... sure, I'll have some. Doubt I have the right teeth for taffy anymore, but...

Valera

Val: You'll muddle through somehow, I'm sure. What flavor does it for you, chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry?

She will whip out a few familiar looking wax paper rolled tubes to offer him. Crinkly!

Alastor

Takes a strawberry one!!

Valera

Val: I'll be sure to let you be the first one to take her to buy this _particular_ candy, when she's old enough to actually enjoy taffy.

Alastor

Give him a second, he managed to bite off a bit and now he's doing the whole dog-with-peanut-butter routine

Valera

Oh no, that's funny. She is LOOKING and SNICKERING at this man. Who knew the secret to silencing the radio demon was _chewy food?_

Alastor

Alastor: ... You know I don't remember this stuff being so hazardous.

He was expecting a RUSH OF NOSTALGIA but then he was like oh right I didn't eat this stuff more than like twice when I was alive, I just saw at the cart.

Valera

The wax paper is more nostalgic than the candy, understandable.

Val: Not having good molars does that, I only ate the stuff the one time to experience it. I like the paper though, it's a very unique experience.

Alastor

HOLD ON LET HIM GET THE LAST OF IT OUT OF HIS MOUTH, he thinks he'll attempt to eat the rest later.

Alastor: We'll see when she's old enough to attempt to eat these things, but—I don't see much point in holding off on letting her try taffy just for ME to do the honors. Seems like a very little thing to make a whole trip for.

Valera

Val: Okkylk doesn't really have much in the way of taffy, I doubt it would come up.. and it would be funny to see her suddenly be faced with a chewy candy to struggle against. This is _guaranteed_ entrainment.

Alastor

Alastor: Hah! I like your parenting philosophy. All the same—no need to wait on me to go get the taffy. I'm sure you'll have more opportunities to pick some up than I will.

Valera

Val: Nothing wrong with a little light torment, she gets candy out of it! Builds character! But yes yes, I get the picture. We'll see how it shakes out, play it by ear.

Alastor

Alastor: As long as she's being duly compensated for providing entertainment! :)

Valera

Val: Of course! She's still my _daughter_, if anything actually upset her that would be a whole different story. Penny would be _inconsolable._

She would also be inconsolable but let's ignore the wibbly sad eyes Val gets at the very thought

Alastor

Alastor: I'm sure we'd be taking turns supporting him through the grief. One person alone wouldn't be able to support that weight.

He's got no doubt Valera would be duly distressed but somehow, somehow he feels like Sir Pentious would be more dramatic about it. Just a hunch.

Valera

There is a distinct possibility that one of the parents may be A HAIR more dramatic, and it MIGHT not be the one with a degree in musical theater. Possibly.

Val: It's true, he's pretty heavy. Like a weighted blanket of emotion.

Alastor

HUFF.

Alastor: I’m going to be thinking of that the next time he flops on top of me.

Valera

Val: Good, you can share my curse. Every Pentious is full of emotion, genius, and, honestly, horny.

Alastor

Opens mouth. Shuts it. Opens it. Shrugs and makes noncommittal radio noises.

Alastor: ... Frankly I don’t know what a normal quantity of horny is.

Valera

Val: I did research, but I don't know how sound it is. We're outsiders trying to look in to a very strange world.

Alastor

Vaguely nods, yeah, that’s true

Alastor: ... What’s the research say?

Valera

Val: Once a week seems like normal horny, in a relationship? A heightened few weeks or months of activity at the start before it levels out seems normal too.

Alastor

Alastor: Weekly?? For the same activity? That’s not as bad as I’d thought, but doesn’t that get boring?

Alastor: ... No, okay, I could schedule a weekly dinner date and never get tired of it, I’ve got no room to talk.

Valera

Val: I was going to say! I do all kinds of stuff on a weekly basis without it getting dull. Plus it does wonders for relieving tension, which I can appreciate from a medical standpoint.

Alastor

SKEPTICAL LOOK

Alastor: You find it RELAXING?

Valera

Val: Well sure! It's only nerve wracking if you aren't at ease, and after almost an entire _year,_ Penny and I have figured out what we like. Plus.. Neither of us sweat, there's no cleanup to worry about, and after the fact the brain gets flooded with feel good chemicals.

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, right, the feel good chemicals, right.

Valera

Val: Not familiar with them, Alastor?

Alastor

Alastor: ......... We’re passingly acquainted

Alastor struggling to figure out how to answer without Discussing Specific Sex Acts

Valera

The STRUGGLE.

Val: Only passingly, interesting. Well, you get a lot more of them with a partner, suffice to say.

Alastor

He's just 8)

Alastor: I would prefer not to!

Valera

Val: You don't have to! I'm telling you why the allosexuals like it so much. Or why I assume they do.

Sex talk with two aces this can only go well!!

Alastor

It sounded like Valera was speaking from a little more than secondhand experience there for a bit but you know what? Alastor isn’t going to ask for clarification. It’s fine. Doesn’t need to know.

Alastor: ... To be quite frank, I prefer far less to be a co-star and more to be a fluffer. I’m sure that’s going to disappoint him sooner or later, but...

Valera

What? The visibly pregnant fish might have firsthand knowledge about sex? Perish the thought.

Alastor

You never know. Mary made it work.

Valera

Immaculate conception of her husband's child, sell that story to the news!

Val: I'm sure you two discussed that before getting together, no?

Alastor

Alastor: ... *As* we were getting together, yes.

Valera

Val: Well then! He knows what he signed up for, and unless he says it's a problem, it shouldn't be treated like one.

Dismissive little hand wave.

Alastor

Alastor: Yes, yes. I don’t intend to treat it like one. Just... making conversation about the whole ‘get more with a partner’ concept.

A similarly dismissive little gesture.

Valera

Val: Ah! Yes, I see, that was perhaps too blanket a statement. Well, he has his other partner, I assume?

Alastor

Alastor: I assume. He hasn’t talked about their sex life. None of my business, I’m sure.

Valera

Wiggly hand gesture.

Val: Yes and no. You ARE his partner.

Val: I tell Penny what Leal and I get up to.

Alastor

Alastor: But do you tell my alternate about how often you have sex with Sir Pentious?

Valera

Val: If he asks! Which he doesn't, really, but we did talk about the finer points of eating pussy.

Alastor

RAISED EYEBROW.

Alastor: ... I don’t think the man I’ve been dating for under a month owes me the details of a near stranger’s sex life. I’ve only met his other partner a couple of times, what business is it of mine what she gets up to?

Alastor: I wouldn’t mind knowing what HE gets up to, but sex is a group sport.

Valera

Val: It isn't like he owes you her life story in hardback, but a frank discussion isn't going to breach confidentiality.

Val: Dating someone who is dating someone else means you're entitled to know what you're consenting to, Alastor.

Alastor

Alastor: I’ve already consented to be with a man who’s probably sleeping with someone else, I can’t think of anything else they could be getting up to that would possibly affect me.

Alastor: Unless their bedroom activities happen to include calling up all my worst enemies and telling them everything they know about me—but if it did, I doubt he’d admit so if I asked about it, would he?

Valera

Her turn to raise an eyebrow.

Alastor

Alastor: ... I don’t think they ARE, I’m trying to think of the most out-there hypothetical possibility.

Valera

Val: Good, I was about to be worried. But really, if those are the boundaries you're comfortable with, that's fine. But I don't think you'd be out of line to ask for more information. Either you'll learn, or he'll tell you it isn't something he wants to discuss.

Alastor

Alastor: Honestly, it... doesn’t cross my mind.

Man has no object permanence when it comes to sex

Valera

Val: Dare I say it, mood. But really, if that's how you like it, good for you, keep on keeping on.

Alastor

Alastor: I intend to!

Unless Telly doesn’t like it, but they’ll cross that bridge when they reach it.

Valera

Val: Then there's no issue, I hope!

Alastor

Alastor: One hopes! ... How did we get on this?

Valera

Val: I... Think it started when I called Pentious horny? And then you got worried about not being an active enough participant?

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, yes, right! But worried, no. Just a passing thought.

Valera

Val: Well, based on my knowledge, as long as the partner gets off they don't often care about the methods.

Shrug! Don't ask where the knowledge came from.

Alastor

Alastor: Ha! If it was that easy, I doubt so many people would be so distressed when the have to make do with their own hands!

Valera

Val: Did you know there's an entire subset of men that intentionally make their hands fall asleep so they can pretend someone else is getting them off?

Alastor

Alastor: You know, it just so happens I did. And I do not understand the appeal. It combines all the worst parts of getting your mouth numbed for a dental procedure with something half-dead and dangerously uncoordinated fumbling with your delicate bits.

Valera

WHEEZE... Oh that caught her off guard, give her a second to collect herself.

Alastor

He’ll wait. Smugly basking in his comedic genius.

Valera

Val: You said it yourself, sex is a group activity for a lot of people. Lonely people want someone else to make them feel good.

Alastor

Alastor: But if that’s all it takes, then why for so many people is a hand inferior to a mouth, and a mouth inferior to a more intimate part? No, I’m sure that there’s more to it than simply a desire for company when cleaning one’s pipes. The methods don’t trump the company, but they do matter.

Valera

Val: I could say more, but then I'd have to start talking about my own _alleged_ experiences.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Is the answer going to be something to the effect of “that particular bit of anatomy feels nicer against one’s equipment than other bits of anatomy?”

Valera

Val: Kind of. I'm sure some people prefer various bits, and they certainly feel _different._ I wouldn't say better though, just on physical contact alone.

Alastor

Alastor: ..."Kind of"?

You know what they say about cats and curiosity

Valera

Val: Yes, kind of. A hand can do things a mouth can't, and vice versa.

Alastor

Alastor: All right! That’s more or less where I thought you were going with that.

Valera

Val: Yes! Though there's a lot to be said for the varying degrees of intimacy.

Alastor

Alastor: I’m sure there is! No doubt there’s something special about the moment you finally get to show your loved one the parts of yourself you previously only shared with your toilet. ... So sorry, I don’t mean to be *dismissive* of the whole thing—I can just never quite get over that association, you know?

Valera

Val: Oh, no, I agree _completely._ Not that I'd tell that to Penny, of course. That would be cruel. But if my husband wants to mutually stimulate nerve endings a few times a week I'm happy to make him happy.

Alastor

SNORT. Mutually stimulate nerve endings.

Alastor: Well, what couples are equally interested in ALL their hobbies?

Valera

Val: None, unless it's two alternates of the same person, I guess!

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, you’d be surprised.

Valera

Val: Oh?? That sounds ominous. You know something I don't?

Alastor

Alastor: I know a lot of my own alternates, primarily!

Valera

Val: Yes, and I suppose even they have varying levels of interest in things?

Alastor

Alastor: Wildly varying! Why, sometimes you can meet yourself and wonder where you have anything in common at all! It’s fascinating, really.

Valera

Val: Goodness, that DOES sound fascinating. I can't imagine.. There's only one me, the idea of a me who isn't like me at all is just bizarre!

Alastor

Alastor: Only one? Or only one that you’ve found so far?

Valera

Val: By virtue of what I am, the only one! Unless something goes VERY Wrong.

Alastor

Alastor: Really! Do elaborate?

Valera

Val: I'm a singularity! There is one me, just in a lot of places!

Alastor

Slow blink.

Alastor: ... Like a god?

Valera

Val: Is... Is that a god thing?

Squint.

Alastor

Alastor: I don’t know many other things that can be in multiple places at once and yet remain an undivided entity with a singular source. Either a god or a radio signal—and signals can get distorted.

Valera

Val: ..... I'd rather be a radio signal than a god, honestly, but. Yeah, I guess? I didn't think it was so uncommon!

Alastor

Alastor: I’ve seen people so rare that even when they go looking, they can only find themselves in one universe—but that’s usually a trick of the universe itself, some little chain of cause-and-effect that only worked out once! Move a dimension to the left and their parents never met, move a dimension to the right and their grandmother died in infancy, and so on. But what *you’re* talking about—one person with a simultaneous singular presence in many realities? That sounds to me like something operating a step higher than your run-of-the-mill monodimensional mortals.

Valera

Val: I could turn on the TV right now and show you what the me in another reality is doing right now, I'm fully aware of myself. Are you saying you _don't_ have that?

_When you are suddenly hit over the head with the fact that you're actually an outlier and not the standard_

Alastor

Alastor: If I want to know what another me is doing, I have to call him up and ask! And sometimes I’ll find out he’s been hearing salacious details about my best friend’s oral skills. I can assure you I wasn’t fully aware of THAT, hah! I’ve heard of people with psychic sensitivities to their alternate selves—a sudden sense of disembodied alarm when something goes wrong elsewhere, emotions without a source, that sort of thing—but that particular sensitivity doesn’t come naturally to me. As far as psychic abilities go, I’d say that one in particular is notably rare.

Valera

Blink.

Val: Oh. Uh. Well. All of my species is like this. _All_ of us are singular individuals.

Alastor

Alastor: ARE you singular individuals? Or do you have alternates just like any other species, but because all of your alternates are... psychically linked, as it were, your thoughts are so inextricably intermingled that the whole lot of you consider yourself one person with one identity?

Valera

Val: At that point, what's the difference?

Alastor

Alastor: It’s the difference between a radio transmitter broadcasting the same song to a dozen different radio receivers, versus a dozen individual radio transceivers that play the same songs because they’re directly broadcasting to each other. Is it one singular thing that’s being witnessed in many places, or is it many separate things that have synchronized and homogenized with each other? In day-to-day life the difference might not matter; but philosophically, spiritually, magically, I think it all makes a great difference!

Valera

Val: Fair enough! But I still believe it's the former. The me you see now is the me that all the information goes back to. We've never cared enough to investigate it in depth.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Do you mean information *doesn’t* go back to the other versions of you?

He’s fascinated, he’s taking mental notes, he’s going all metaphysical occultist on this.

Valera

Val: Of course it does, if I don't intentionally restrict it, which is not something I'd be inclined to do. I'm simply aware of them the way you are aware of your arm.

Alastor

Alastor: So all versions of you get all the information from all versions of you.

Valera

Val: Yes! Unless I'm playing one of my games. Sometimes I'll make myself think I'm a normal mortal for a while. It's fun!

Alastor

Alastor: ......... Let’s unpack that a little.

Valera

Val: Sure! Where do we start?

Alastor

Alastor: Your “games”?

Valera

Val: Yes! A lot of Veci do it as they get older. They'll go to a universe and have one of themselves live a very normal mortal life, unaware of what they actually are.

Val: It's a fascinating perspective.

Alastor

Alastor: So, you cut off one version of yourself from the hive mind. And this version, I take it, then forgets for the duration of the game that they were once a part of a hive mind? Their memories only consist of what they experienced in their own home universe, and anything that they thought or did due to the influence of their other selves, they... what, make up a new false memory to explain away, something like that? And they aren’t receiving information, but they’re still sending out information for the rest of you to receive?

Valera

Val: Yes! Exactly so. A one way broadcast back to home base.

Alastor

Alastor: Huh! What about the people around the game piece who know they ought to be connected to other dimensions—or do you disguise yourself and drop yourself on some alien planet before you start the game?

Valera

Val: The latter! It's no fun if other people know things you don't, they could ruin the game for you. Unless you're going somewhere dangerous, then a lot of people will ask someone to send in an aware variant of themselves to help keep them in the game longer. Istoph does that for me in some places!

Alastor

Alastor: Does your game piece go in cold, wandering around like an amnesiac? Or are they given some sort of... of false set of memories, to blend in with the locals?

Valera

Val: Depends which is more interesting. Usually the latter, unless I can think of a reason that an amnesia story would work better.

Alastor

Alastor: And when does the game end? Death? Discovery? Is there a way for your game piece to "win" or is the game only supposed to be watched?

Valera

Val: It's usually for a set amount of time! A year or two, a decade at most. I don't let them Reproduce or anything, I don't want to go sowing any wild oats. That's how you get overly sensitive humans half the damn time.

A shake of her head.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Yes, that *would* do it.

Valera

Val: ... I don't.. I don't mean to imply _you_ were a result of that or anything. There is more than one way that could happen.

Alastor

Although he doesn't much like the thought that someone somewhere could use that information to dismiss particularly psychic humans as partially inhuman.

Alastor: I should hope I wasn't! I come from a long line of magically gifted people—we don't need the outside help!

Valera

Val: Hah! I know, I could practically smell it on you. If I turned you loose on Okkylk you'd get swarmed.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Swarmed like a dog in heat, or swarmed like a bleeder amidst sharks?

Valera

Val: .... Considering how violent Veci are in the act, uh. Both.

Alastor

A slow, slow nod.

Alastor: ... To steal my traits.

Valera

FACE JOURNEY

Val: I take it he told you about that one, eh? Not his finest moment

Alastor

Alastor: It will be my most carefully-guarded secret. ... But you knew about it already, so.

Valera

Val: To be fair, it's hilarious. I was minding my own business and then the guy I just started dating calls me to accuse me of stealing his traits like some kind of succubus.

Alastor

Alastor: ... I think succubi reproduce with humans because it’s easier, rather than because they want human traits. But don’t quote me on that, I don’t talk to many succubi.

Valera

Val: Neither do I, honestly. Plus, come on. Really? I could have just seduced him, I'm the one that insisted on a relationship.

Alastor

Alastor: Well, how many traits did you *want?* It could take a while!

Valera

Val: Oh yes, of course. If I'm going to get traits I may as well get a full set out of him! However many that is!

Alastor

Alastor: Only one way to find out!

Valera

Val: You're just saying that so you can flex on your alts with all the kids who'd call you uncle.

Alastor

Alastor: I’m willing to share unclehood with as many of my alternates who care to claim it!

Hand over heart, how magnanimous.

Alastor: ... So, are you only pregnant in this universe or all of them?

Valera

Val: Only this one. This is the only body that's gotten plowed by anyone and that's how I'm keeping it.

Snrk.

Alastor

Alastor: Then which universe any given Veci has... copies, facets, whatever—of themself in will vary wildly, depending on whether or not their parents happened to have synchronized date nights across those universes? I suppose it would be *easier* to synchronize up, if every version of you is connected—just like a whole line of dancers doing the can-can together—but what if one body sneezes and an egg doesn’t get filled, does that Veci just have one less version of themself than everyone else? Will Eelizzy have no other selves across the universe?

Valera

val: ..Do you think I'm going to sneeze too hard and shoot this egg across the-- Nevermind. Veci children aren't stable enough to exist in multiple realities, they have to grow up and get more control of their magic before they can manifest across realms.

Alastor

Eyebrows shoot up.

Alastor: No, I was talking about the conception, splash one or two drops the other way and... never mind, that’s the boring part! You’re telling me you start off as one singular entity in a singular universe—and *then* you split off into separate versions of yourself... deliberately?

Valera

Val: Well of course! There's only one Pelagios right now, he won't split off until he's fifteen for his first practice run, and then in earnest in his twenties. Rite of passage and all that!

Alastor

AMAZED BLINK. And then he’s opening a portal and hauling out his grimoire, ‘scuse him, don’t mind him.

Valera

She watches, slow blinking. What, did THAT catch his attention?

Alastor

Alastor: I should have been taking notes all along—I apologize, I do believe you were right, you *are* a lone tower transmitting to many receivers—or at the very least you do start off as one tower! How do you split, does it follow the natural branching of timelines—when two paths of history split over somebody’s decision, you just keep conscious contact with the two versions of you formed at that fork? Or do you create your duplicate self and then assign it to some pre-chosen timeline?

Scribble scribble SCRIBBLE scribble.

Valera

Val: The latter at first, I see a reality that interests me and drop in, and then as it progresses, it becomes the former. As the timeline I chose to investigate develops and changes, I follow the branching paths and observe the varying realities. It is *fascinating* stuff. Though sometimes a branch seems doomed, in which case I'll usually withdraw and send that variant elsewhere instead. Start the whole process over.

Alastor

Alastor: So you can pick and choose which path you follow—but you don’t AUTOMATICALLY form another version of yourself, only when you want to? That means that more versions of you AREN’T forming every single time a timeline you’re in branches, correct? But a single timeline can branch countless times, a hundred times an hour—I’m pulling that number out of my you-know, just as an example—if a timeline branches a hundred times an hour, then that means that in ninety-nine percent of all those timelines, a Veci living in it will suddenly... vanish into thin air? Is that right?

Valera

Val: Close enough, which is *generally* why we try to live very lowkey lives. Making new branches of yourself isn't.. *energy consuming* or anything, but you have to be able to process that amount of information. We don't vanish into thin air, but we'll often arrange a swift withdrawal. A sudden move, a staged home invasion, or, in a pinch, just erase ourselves from people's memories. Though that one is imprecise and often leaves lingering traces. Not ideal.

Alastor

Alastor: I imagine it explains an encounter with the fae or two.

Valera

Val: Probably? That's my theory.

Alastor

Alastor: And how often DO timelines branch around you, would you estimate? Are you abandoning thousands of iterations of the same place a day or... Well, I sort of *imagine* that time branches at ridiculously high rates, but I don’t actually know.

Valera

val: Not as often as you think honestly. Obviously it happens, but most people aren't wildly changing reality with every move. The butterfly effect is not as impactful as people believe it is.

Alastor

Alastor gratefully waves away the nightmarish thought of a million sad snakes wondering where his wife went.

Valera

Thoughtful hum....

Val: *You* probably caused a split, back in the day. There's a reality out there where you're dating the Pentious of your Hell. That was a fairly significant moment with pretty obvious impact on the rest of the population.

Alastor

Alastor: I’d always wondered about that! The whole ‘butterfly’ effect thing—particularly considering how often universes seem to CONVERGE on each other. Those of us who have more conventional alternates—it’s *amazing* how often I can talk to myself and think “why, you and I are so similar—our realities must have split no more than ten minutes ago!” and then I find out my other self has completely different parents and a big sister to boot. If two universes that started out in utterly different places can drift back together—

Oh. He stops talking with a noise like a motor dying.

Valera

Slow nod.

Val: It's not like every breakup causes a split in realities. But a drastic choice that results in explosions? Yeah.

Alastor

From 100 to 0 with one sentence.

Valera

Shoulder pat.

Val: It's weird to think about.

Alastor

Alastor: ... I hope he’s doing better.

Valera

Val: ... You're doing better too, Alastor. Better than you were.

Alastor

Alastor: I didn’t mean my alternate.

Valera

Squint.

Val: Your Pentious.

Alastor

Alastor: The one over there isn’t “my” Pentious. ... Sir Pentious. He’s just an alternate of my Sir Pentious, just like the one I’m seeing is an alternate of my Sir Pentious, and the one you’re married to is an alternate of my Sir Pentious. He just branched off a little more recently, that’s all.

Alastor: “My” Sir Pentious will always be the one that I backstabbed.

Valera

Val: He's fine. And *yours* will be okay too. We both know Sir Pentious is stubborn and unstoppable.

Alastor

Alastor: Stubborn, yes. ... We’re going to fix all that, though. So that this never happened.

Alastor: The original plan was to... to wrench the course of this timeline off its current path and onto the path it *would* have had if that decision had been different. But if you think the timeline *already* split there—then it’s not so much a matter of relocating this timeline as it is—just erasing it entirely, so that the other one is the only one left. Right?

Valera

She grimaces. That's a *lot* of people she'd be killing. Erasing from existence. Whatever.

Alastor

She agreed to it once before.

Valera

Val: Yeah, essentially. Not pleasant to think about, but... Yeah. And it's theoretically possible, but. Again. Fifty fifty shot.

Val: I'm... Surprised you'd still want to do it, though. You've got a boyfriend now. What about him?

Alastor

He squeezes his eyes shut and looks pained a second. That’s the same thought that he had. And that he HAS had about a thousand times.

Alastor: This was never about what I want, it was about him. Putting him back on track. Where he deserves to be.

Valera

Val: .... Not to... Okay, you know what, *yes* to be that person. But you want to help one Pentious by hurting another? If you wanted to spare the man you backstabbed, you shouldn't have started dating Telly. You *know* losing you is going to hurt him, *if* it works.

Alastor

Another pained wince.

Alastor: No, you’re right, I shouldn’t have. I didn’t mean to, but I did, and I shouldn’t have. And I knew I shouldn’t have, and... well. Here we are. But I can’t just—just change my mind, not when I have my first chance to make this right!

Valera

Val: I know. I understand. I—I wish I didn't but I *do* and I hate it. And I'm still going to try and help you. If you're sure you want to try. Even though this is. *Awful.* And only going to hurt people. Penny. Telly. Gods only know what will happen if we succeed. If we don't.. You'll hurt him anyway. You know this isn't something you should keep secret from him.

Alastor

And we’ve got a triple pained wince combo!

Alastor: How can I *not?* How can I just—just... happily go about my days, having picnics with one version of him and cuddling up to sleep with another, merrily getting ready for my big Broadway debut, dreaming about infernal conquest like I haven’t been able to dream in half a century—when he’s Hell’s laughingstock because of me?! Everything’s finally coming together for me, but the man I loved first and longest is a joke! How can I live out his dreams with an echo of him? What the Hell gives me the right to let a world like that exist?

Valera

Val: I know we've discussed this before, but. Tell me. Why haven't you tried to make amends? You'll never be friends again, obviously, but surely you could take out some overlords, or anonymously provide supplies... Do some networking, find allies to thrust his way without your name ever crossing his mind?

Frown...

Alastor

Alastor: ... I’ve done a bit. Taken out some of his rivals, that sort of thing.

Valera

Val: That's good! If your major grievance is that you've ruined his life, isn't it right to fix the damage you've caused, even if it's hard?

Alastor

Alastor: And then I heard him whining about how somebody else took down his foes before he had a chance to.

Wan smile.

Valera

.... Somehow, she doesn't look surprised. She just rolls her eyes.

Val: Okay, yeah that sounds like Every Pentious I Know.

Alastor

Smiles a little wider for a second

Alastor: Doesn’t it?

Valera

Val: I love my Penny, truly, but he's a _brat_ and so are his alts. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't, Alastor. Literally.  You might as well be damned handing the man an overlord on a platter. Even if he complains, at least he's getting a chance to rebuild.

Alastor

Alastor: ... I—*hm*—but—It isn’t *right.* It shouldn’t be just, just... He’s had half a century wasted. All that should be gone. Not just made up for after the fact, but—GONE. Shouldn’t it? Throwing him favors after the fact is, it’s... it’s...

Gestures vaguely and throws out meaningless sound effects. You know!!!

Valera

A sympathetic nod.

Val: I know. Erasing it seems like the kindest option, but is it? Would that be what _he'd_ want? To simply undo everything? Or would he want to claw his way back to the top and spit in the face of every overlord who tried to keep him down? You know him better than I do, so this is not rhetorical. It's a genuine question.

Alastor

He’s gotta stop and stare into space while he thinks about that.

Alastor: ... If somebody asked the Sir Pentious of today if he’d want the last century of troubles retroactively wiped away... I don’t know. I don’t know if he’d rather *have* the throne or *earn* the throne. He’s never had any shame about using an unfair advantage, the only reason he was able to conquer half the States was because he was filthy rich for no good reason and he’ll tell you so himself, but... he wouldn’t want somebody else to do his conquering *for* him, but I don’t know if that’s what he’d consider somebody changing history for him. But if I asked the Sir Pentious of ‘66 which route he’d like to go on, the one where he’s got a loyal ally and can get on with the business of conquest or the one where he’s betrayed and has to start at square one just for a fun extra challenge, he’d ask me if I’m crazy and say he’d rather have the first route. No question.

Alastor: ... But he already HAS that route, if you’re right. If it split then. If it *did* split then, then I’m not... I’m not giving the one I know a little mind wipe and transplanting him sideways into a better reality. That reality is already there and populated. I’m just... destroying him. Right?

Valera

Val: Correct. Is that mercy? Is that making amends?

Val: Wouldn't it be better to improve his life, rather than erase him entirely?

She almost reaches for Alastor's hand, but thinks better of it. Fiddle with her necklace it is.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Is there a way to see? If that universe already exists? If it doesn’t then we can proceed as planned.

Valera

Val: Oh, yes of course there is. I could try to find it, put myself in it the way I do any other universe. Would you like me to?

Alastor

Alastor: It could settle things.

Valera

Val: True. Do I have permission to peek under the hood of your reality?

Alastor

Alastor: ... What, right now?? You can just do it on the spot?

Valera

Val: I could, but I'm not going to. I'm _heavily_ pregnant and my baby is liable to start spitting static that could mess with my spells. I'll have to wait until she's tuckered out, play something energetic until the little thing wiggles herself senseless.

She pats her belly affectionately, but with a roll of the eyes.

Alastor

Alastor: Ha! Right. Of course.

... Plays something energetic.

Valera

The egg, predictably, seems very excited about this sudden turn of events and starts throwing hissing nonsense static fuzz into the air with a sensation not unlike static electricity.

Valera raises an eyebrow at Alastor.

Alastor

:)

Valera

Val: Spoiling her already, are we? She's getting big enough to actually feel her moving, you know.

Alastor

Alastor: It was your idea. :) But really? Through the egg and all?

Valera

Val: Yes! Soft shelled eggs are a lot easier to feel through than hard shells, and she is _wiggling_. It's not obvious like a human baby kicking, but there's definitely weight shifting.

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, right—they WERE soft, weren’t they! I was trying to be polite and not look too closely.

Valera

Val: Understandable! Amusingly similar to snake eggs, really. Which means by the time May rolls around I'm going to be strangling any radio demon brave enough to try and get this baby active.

She's grinning, but not in a way that says she's joking.

Alastor

Alastor: You were the one who suggested getting her to wiggle herself senseless, I’m only following your sage advice.

Valera

Val: You're evil. How _dare_ you listen to me. If my daughter wants to learn the trumpet when she's older it's your fault. She's being seduced by _Jazz music_.

Alastor

Alastor: I’m setting her up for a life of vice and villainy, EXACTLY as I’m sure her father would want.

Valera

Val: He'll want her learning the pipe organ and how to cackle maniacally. That classic Romantic ideal of brooding and fits of murderous passion. You'll have her _flashing ankles_ on the dance floor!!

A mock gasp!! Perish the thought!

Alastor

Alastor: All the better to shock and scandalize her enemies, right before eliminating them! If they’re staring at her ankles, they’ll never see her gun.

Valera

Val: Bold, I like it. But you'll have to explain that one to Penny, I can already tell he's going to be one of those dads who fawn over their daughter. Leal too, even if he insists he's not attached.

A VERY dramatic roll of the eyes.

Alastor

Alastor: Ha! Then I can do one better—I’ll get *her* to explain it to Sir Pentious.

Valera

Val: Oh that can _only_ go well. I'm holding you to that one, Alastor.

Alastor

A wink.

Alastor: My alternate can fawn over her—I think instead I’ll conspire with her. I just hope she’s a rascal.

Valera

Val: Well I don't know about _Penny_, but I was a rascal without equal in my youth! I knocked over half the shelves in a library and pinned it on another kid. I'm sure she'll give me as many headaches as I gave my caretakers.

Alastor

Alastor: Never you fear, I'll do my best to make sure she lives up to the precedent you've set!

Valera

Val: I appreciate that, Alastor! I'm sure I'll be much too busy doing boring parent stuff. Not sure what, but it'll catch me. Maybe I'll go to a PTA meeting.

Alastor

Alastor: A... what meeting?

The man hasn't been around children in almost nine decades, he'd forgotten such esoteric acronyms. It sounds like a military thing.

Valera

Val: A PTA meeting! A parent teacher... SOMETHING meeting. I don't know what the A is for.

Alastor

Snaps fingers! Now it’s familiar.

Alastor: Assassination.

Alastor: ... Wait.

Valera

Val: I don't think I'm supposed to assassinate the teachers. Although, if they're doing a bad job...

Kombucha girl face journey.

Val: No. No. It's probably association or something stupid like that.

Alastor

SNAPS FINGERS AGAIN.

Alastor: THAT was it! Association! Pity, “Parent Teacher Assassination” sounded far more fun.

Valera

Val: It DOES sound more fun. Now I'm disappointed.

Alastor

Alastor: Sounds like a fantastic parent-child bonding activity, too!

Valera

Val: Take the teacher with the lowest reviews and hunt them for sport? Sounds like something you'd enjoy.

Alastor

He’s got to pause and think about that for a moment.

Alastor: Who’s reviewing them?

Valera

Val: Not sure. The students, I imagine?

Alastor

Alastor: All right, seems fair! I’m for it!

Valera

Val: Good! You'll be handling the PTA meetings then, that's _one_ less thing for me to worry about.

Snrk snrk. She's kidding. Probably.

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, CAN I? I’ve always wanted to be a problem at school events! An *adult* problem, I mean. I imagine it’s a somewhat different experience from being a student problem.

Valera

Val: What, you want to get saddled with my kid for an evening to go to a school and scare the hell out of the staff?

Alastor

Alastor: Scare them, annoy the hell out of them, say wildly inaccurate things that they’re forced to agree with because they know I’m there on behalf of the autocrat... any of the above, really!

Valera

Val: Well damn! Alright, I'll make sure you go to at least a couple of them. If I send you and one of your alts we can _really_ get a show.

Alastor

Oh look at him he’s ecstatic. This just opened up a whole new world of pranks.

Valera

Val: I've never seen someone so excited about going to a PTA meeting. But hey, who am I to deny you fresh victims? Congratulations on your upcoming career in school harassment.

Alastor

Alastor: Thank you, I eagerly anticipate it!

Valera

Egg probably wore herself out while they were discussing the finer points of PTA sabotage

Alastor

yeah there IS a secondary timeline where Sir Pent and Al are Hell's most feared power couple. Airships are everywhere. Lucifer is going "oh shit the prisoners are unionizing." Alastor and Sir Pent wear matching outfits. They have a kid, where did they get a kid, did they adopt a baby imp or something??? what the fuck

Valera

Oh my god

Val takes one look at that timeline, looks at that Alastor, looks at this one. Looks back. "Well you're a dad in this one." And does not provide context

Alastor

Alastor just. Sits on the floor.

Valera

Well she can't exactly pat his head so they just have to sit there. Timeline confirmed welcome to die

Alastor

"What's their name?"

Valera

"What, the kid? I didn't think to ask. Does it matter?"

Alastor

"Just wondered." He's gotta lay down.

Valera

Guess she's gotta go try to learn the kids name now if Alastor is gonna be a sad floppy man. Feels bad.

Alastor

He was gonna be a sad floppy man regardless.

Valera

It is in the nature of Alastors to be sad and floppy men

Valera

But only under SPECIFIC circumstances

Alastor

Selectively sad and floppy

Valera

"...... Alternate timeline you's kid is named Codie Grace." Alright that is enough telling Alastor things about the future he doesn't have

Alastor

In one universe The Alastor That Didn't Fuck Up is probably giving Valera this c: look like do you get it. do you. do you get it. And in this universe The Fuckup Alastor is squinting at the ceiling and then suddenly goes "WE NAMED OUR KID *COUP DE GRÂCE*?!"

Valera

VAL GETS IT AND SHE ISN'T SURE IF SHE LOVES IT OR HATES IT

But it is VERY like them, the bastards

Alastor

Alastor just covers his face and laughs. It is the laugh of a broken man. Yeah. Yeah that's what he would name a kid, dammit. It's true.

Valera

Poor Fuckup Alastor

Alastor

"... Are they successful, over there? Are they happy?"

Valera

"They wear matching outfits and have airships all over the place so yes and yes."

She's gonna need a broom to pet this man with. There there.

Alastor

Alastor

It's just a high pitched static whine noise. *Matching outfits...*

That's BASICALLY the exact same thing as marriage. You're married when you wear the same outfits.

Valera

What is marriage if not an elaborate excuse to wear matching outfits? Just keep doing it, forever.

Pat. Pat. "And now you know. There's a reality out there where you and your local Pentious are basically married with a kid and have airships over like, half of Hell."

Alastor

He's gonna. Lay there for a second. And process that.

And then sit up and cradle his head in his hands and process that some more.

Valera

Would he like.... Well. Not tea but she can get him some water. Maybe a coffee.

Alastor

Coffee would be nice

Valera

She can do coffee. Does he want any cream or sugar?

Alastor

Black as his soul. Like an edgy hottopic goth kid.

Valera

She'll get him some pourover, let him have a good coffee while his brain wheezes and stalls.

Alastor

He eventually gets himself up in a chair with his coffee. Look at that, he's almost human again. "So there's already a place where it all worked out."

Valera

"That seems to be the case, yes." The power of coffee, clearly. If only sitting upright really fixed your problems.

Alastor

A nod, and then he’s silent again a moment as he processes this. “So there’s—I wouldn’t be helping him. I can’t help him like this.”

Valera

"You cannot. You can't just wave away what you did to him. Not without ruining another Pentious' life."

Alastor

“It’s not just ‘waving away’! Don’t forget that doing this would erase me, too! It’s not *running* from the consequences of my actions, it’s *paying* for them!” He’s gotta hop up and pace. “‘Waving away’ what I did is what I’m doing right NOW—getting to—to move on and be happy like it never happened! How is that fair?!”

Valera

"How is it fair? Good question, let me counter with another." She sips the tea she got for herself, watching him pace. "Have you forgiven yourself?"

Alastor

He pauses for half a second, and then continues pacing. “Now, why would I go and do a damn fool thing like that?” He laughs wryly. “I don’t see how it matters.”

Valera

"Because you're in Hell, and why would Hell ever _really_ let you win?"

Alastor

“*Hell* wouldn’t—and that’s why I’m outsourcing the job. I don’t see what that has to do with forgiveness and fairness.”

Valera

"Didn't you think Hell has some measure of control over you, or am I misremembering?"

A stretch, and a hand lays over her belly. Rub rub. "Now. I am loathe to admit I could still try to break your timeline like a bone and forcefully reset it into a shape similar to the one I saw, but. I could. Though THAT is something I've never tried at all, I've got no idea if it would work."

Alastor “‘It’s not my fault, the devil made me do it’?” Alastor shook his head. “It’s my fault. Hell is pulling some strings, sure—it can, say, nudge things around to prey on your worst character flaws—but it doesn’t give you those character flaws.”

He stops pacing again. “What would that involve?”

Valera

She opens her mouth, closes it. Clicks her tongue. "That's what I'm figuring out. It *can* be done. I've never done it. But I said I would help you, so I have to offer it as a possibility. It would probably take something fairly drastic. There was a window between you making your decision and actually betraying Pentious, right?"

Alastor

A slow nod. “Ten or fifteen minutes.”

Valera

"There are... A few options. I don't know how *viable* they actually are, right now. I'll have to do research. But I *think* I could try to remove you *entirely* from the timeline at that point. Most likely through a faked assassination or kidnapping. That would break the timeline off the track that was set, an outlier that was not within reasonable bounds. Then give the timeline a few hours, maybe days as it tries to course correct and *cannot*, and then I... Drop *you* back in. Let you run back to Sir Pentious, alive, if not unharmed. At the very least, I'm sure he'd be too busy being glad you were alive to be angry that whatever scheme he was currently enacting got thrown off."

Alastor

He stops breathing for a moment as he thinks about Sir Pentious having to deal with Alastor so suddenly disappearing.

And he tries not to too deeply analyze his disappointment when Valera says they’d put him back. He starts pacing again. “And that would be—like we discussed before? This version of the timeline disappears completely?”

Valera

"It would be impossible for the timeline to continue as it was, so. Yes. You cannot betray Pentious if you aren't there. Everything would get thrown off the rails entirely. Timelines account for a reasonable margin of circumstances with everything people do. Most people rarely do things outside of their norm, so even small changes rarely mean anything and that's why they don't branch as much as people think."

She taps her stomach, lips pursing. "Again. Remember, I can't guarantee it would work. But it does seem the most *likely* to work out of all the options. The first obstacle would be me taking down the Radio Demon. I don't know if you're aware, Alastor, but I don't actually relish the thought of fighting you to what you'd believe to be your death."

Alastor

He laughs humorlessly. “You won’t need to fight. I can tell you exactly what to say to make me come willingly.”

Valera

Blink. Wait, what? She looks back up at him, eyebrows raising. "What, really?"

Alastor

“You think I don’t know myself well enough to know exactly what would make me shut up and listen? Don’t you have secret things that would immediately catch your attention if a stranger said them to you?” A shrug. “Anyway, I wasn’t exactly hard to persuade at that point! I’d just decided to escape a relationship by destroying everything he owned and running—if a stranger magically appeared in front of me and said ‘come with me, we need to fake your assassination,’ I’d consider it a miracle.”

Valera

Valera raises a finger. "Alastor, I am a stubborn, paranoid bitch of a politician. My own parents could miraculously spring back into existence and promise me anything I wanted and I would probably try to bite them. I can't be blackmailed because any time someone tries, I get my PR team to leak it themselves to control the narrative. I am TRULY the most contrary piece of work to get dragged into existence."

A pause.. Then she grins. "Lucky for us, you're not me. If you think that would work? *Good*. That's one of many obstacles down. A question, though, and possibly a dumb one. Would you even *want* to go back? If I ripped you from the timeline, that is."

Alastor

“Does what I’d want matter? Either you put me back, you exterminate me, or you drop me somewhere outside of Hell and I end up having to go back eventually. A disembodied soul can’t last forever outside of Hell, and I can’t move into a neighboring Hell without stepping on an alternate’s hooves.”

Valera

She rolls her eyes, sighing noisily. "Yes, it matters. Even if we can't figure out something better, I want to *try* and help you get a happier ending. Because right now, it's sounding like you're about to give up Telly to go run into your Pentious' arms. Which I don't think Telly would like much."

Alastor

“No! That’s not what I want! I keep double checking that this will delete the current timeline for a reason! If some different Alastor *just slightly* removed from me ends up with him, dandy, but it had damn well better not be me! I’m not trying to get back with him, I’m trying to get ERASED!”

Well. That’s sure something he said and can’t unsay.

Valera

She freezes, her eyes locked on Alastor's face. So, the truth comes out, does it? But is this the eye of the storm, or a defeated gasp? This may require some care.

A slow inhale. A shift of her weight as she sits more upright, face neutral. "I *see*."

Alastor

Those weren’t quite the words he expected out of himself, either. But he’s nothing if not impossible to shut up, so he swallows hard and soldiers on. “Didn’t I say, the very first time we discussed this, that when you made that other timeline, I didn’t want you to combine my memories with my past self—I wanted you to let me get deleted with the rest of this timeline? *This isn’t for me.* I don’t want to get him back—I want him to win. How isn’t that clear? If I wasn’t worried about what it would do to Sir Pentious’s psyche if his lover is assassinated on his airship the morning after they hooked up, I’d tell you to put a bullet through my head the moment you see me!”

Valera

She nods, chewing her lip thoughtfully as she watches him dig his hole deeper with every word he rattles out. She'd known this, really. He'd said it. But she didn't realize..

Well. Better late than never, one supposes. "And what about Telly, Alastor? What are you going to do about *him?* What of *his* psyche?"

Alastor

His face almost cracks completely, brows drawing and smile half wilting. He slumps down onto a seat again. “I shouldn’t have gotten him involved.” It’s not really an answer.

Valera

"No, you shouldn't have! But you did, and now you have another problem to solve. Because Alastor? I do NOT want to explain to that poor man that I helped his boyfriend erase himself from existence for the sake of the man he betrayed, and had planned on doing so before you two even met. You may not have to deal with the fallout, but *I will.*"

Alastor

He inhales sharply at the thought of it. “Isn’t there a way to... As long as we’re altering timelines, can’t we just... make it so he never met me? It was under three months ago, all it would take...” He can’t even finish. It feels like knives just to think about.

Valera

"I already find the idea of breaking your timeline dubious at best, and now you want me to alter the reality of my friend? An innocent party in all this? You *know* he wouldn't want that, Alastor. I agreed to help you with one very specific problem, it isn't my fault that you decided to dally with another snake and complicate matters when you knew your time was potentially limited to months. I wont help you fix that."

She struggles to her feet, empty mug in hand. "I am going to get a refill on my tea. Do you want more coffee, Alastor?"

Alastor

He glances at his cup. He still hasn’t quite emptied it. He shakes his head.

Valera

A nod. "I will be clear. I am not angry, I am not saying I wont help you. But I cannot fix all of your problems so easily. Your actions have consequences, and erasing yourself wont leave everyone happy and everything tied up with a bow." Her thumbs rub over the smooth finish of her mug, brow furrowing in thought.

"I am sorry, Alastor. If I could guarantee, one hundred percent, that I could erase you from Telly's life, take you back to your timeline, and wipe you out before you ever hurt your Pentious.. I would. I would obliterate your mind on the spot and let whatever version of you sprang forth, happy and in love, carry on with your day like it never happened. And I'd take that to my grave. But I can't make that promise." Okay she'd better actually leave, standing around holding an empty cup to rant at someone is stupid. Give her a bit.

Alastor

He nods vaguely, but although he absorbs what Valera says, most of his focus is on his own thoughts.

Telly. If he leaves, who’s there for Telly? Who’s the one who will bargain, threaten, or assassinate whoever it takes to get Telly the supplies he needs for his ship? When all his machines are broken, who’s going to be the one to fill the gaps with magic until they’re repaired? Who will tell him that he’s beautiful, brilliant, unstoppable, every day until he believes it himself? Who’s going to *feed* him?

Every single day, Alastor sees more of Telly’s real self—the person Alastor met just shy of three months ago is hardly a ghost compared to the person Telly is now. It doesn’t matter how Alastor leaves. If he just vanishes, then everything he’s tried to give Telly will be lost. If they never met, then Alastor never gave him those things at all.

He’s still brooding on these thoughts when Valera gets back.

Valera

Valera lets him have some silence, settling back down with her tea as she observes Alastor's stewing. Good. He's thinking. Maybe he'll think his way *out* of this idiocy.

Alastor

He’s working on it.

His Sir Pentious, though—the one he *betrayed*—nothing is fixed for him if Alastor *doesn’t* follow through. He’s still stuck where he is. So which is worse? Which weighs heavier? Never paying the price and making amends for the sin he committed before, or committing a fresh sin now? If no matter what he does, he’s got to knowingly and deliberately doom one of them to an afterlife of broken hopes and unfulfilled aspirations, which one of them is worse?

“... I made a deal with him.” Instead of trying to repeat it, he just plays it back, his own voice slightly cracklier than usual as if it’s playing back from a phonograph record: “*I swear I will never knowingly and deliberately or callously break your heart; and I swear that if I do ever leave, I’ll leave with kindness and honesty; and I swear I’ll never betray you like I did the Sir Pentious of my universe; or I forfeit my soul and all those I have to you.*”

He looks at Valera. “As far as you can think of—is there no possible way for me to do this without violating all three of those?”

Valera

Valera pauses, rolling the terms over in her mind. "You could tell him you can't be with him anymore because you realized your goals are incompatible. That would be a _kindness._ You would be leaving with honesty. Your goals _are_ incompatible."

Alastor

Nods, he accepts that. There are ways he could be honest without telling too much of the truth. Debatable on the idea that he’d be leaving with kindness, but he’s willing to let that sit for the moment. “The other two, then. I wouldn’t be knowingly and *deliberately* breaking his heart, since breaking it is just a side effect instead of my goal; but it would be knowingly and *callously.*”

Valera

"Is it callous, to try and spare him from further harm by stepping away? Because that's what you'd be doing, I imagine."

She leans back into the cushions of the couch, tapping her chin. "_Knowingly_ breaking his heart is the real issue. You've essentially _trapped_ yourself in the relationship. You can't leave while he has feelings for you, no matter how kind and honest you are, because you'll break his heart doing it."

Alastor

“I was damn careful with my wording to make sure I wouldn’t be trapped.” He shakes his head. “That’s why it has to be both. Knowingly-*and*-deliberately or knowingly-*and*-callously. If I know it will break his heart, but the heartbreak isn’t deliberate or callous, it’s legal.” He takes a deep breath. “But I’m *not* trying to spare him harm by stepping away. I’m trying to... disappear, to undo a prior betrayal; and, in the process, I’d be knowingly adding to the parade of people who have promised him the world and then ripped it away—and—and I’d be doing untold damage to his ability to follow his ambitions.” He clears his throat, his voice is starting to sound a little hoarse. “He wouldn’t be spared harm. Knowing the extent of the damage, I—there’s—there’d be no way to proceed without callousness. Would there.”

Valera

Valera has an argument already half formed, but stops. Cocks her head to one side. Why the FUCK would she try to convince him around to her side. This was basically a get out of jail free card. Her perspective didn't matter here, it was *his* contract.

"Y-yeah. If that's the way you interpret your contract, you're well and truly stuck."

Alastor

His shoulders slump, the tension draining out of them all at once. "So that's that? It's undoable." If he can't think of a way and Valera can't think of a way...

Valera

She lifts a shaky mug to her lips, squeaking out what MIGHT be the affirmative. "Mm-Mm!"

Alastor

“All right. That’s that.”

He expects to feel... maybe relieved. Maybe resigned. Instead, what hits first is an unexpected wave of grief. He tries to disguise it by rubbing his eyes with his forefinger and thumb, as though he’s just tired. “So—“ Ahem. “So. You and I shook. If we can’t proceed, then what’s... How do we dissolve that?”

Valera

Valera frowns, fins drooping as she wavers. But no. This is for the best. "Well, how do *you* negate a deal that is no longer viable? All you need to do is say you've released me from the contract, on my end."

Alastor

“You’re released from the contract if I’m released from the contract.” He’s not *unilaterally* releasing somebody else from a contract, that’s just common sense.

Valera

Her eyes are ROLLING. Of course, even now he's being difficult. "Well we shook on it. What does your magic need to terminate the agreement? Blood? Another handshake?"

Alastor

"For you to agree to the same out loud." It's not THAT complicated; but a release from a contract has to be mutual. Otherwise anyone could cancel a contract at any time, and then where would the exploitative dealmakers of the world be?

Valera

"Alright. I release you from our contract under the same terms."

... She doesn't know why she always expects something dramatic to happen, it never does. At least she can lean back and sigh, now.

Alastor

If it helps, Alastor plays a little *ta-daaa* trumpet fanfare.

Valera

It helps, but also makes her primary heart clench. She didn't lie, but she wasn't honest. And it digs into her like a splinter.

A sigh. "Are you okay, Alastor? I know you wanted _very_ badly to help the Pentious of your Hell." That came out more gently than she'd intended, but she's too tired to try and force a casual demeanor right now. Deal with her concern.

Alastor

He's silent for a moment, then sighs and sort of shrugs and shakes his head at the same time. "It just puts me back where I was a few months ago. No great loss."

Valera

"Sure, but you got your hopes up, only for them to be dashed by a contract of your own design." She isn't going to comment on that being incredibly dumb. She isn't. But she's thinking it. Even though it worked out for her.

"I suppose that means you'll have to do things the old fashioned way if you want to make amends."

Alastor

"If the contract wasn't there, I would have had to *decide* which one of them I want to hurt. At least this way the choice is out of my hands. And it means the contract did its job, didn't it?"

He rubs his eyes. "Still. Having the end in sight, and then watching it disappear..."

Valera

Most people would be happy to live another day, but a man craving oblivion? Maybe not so much. She frowns.

"At least you've got Telly. That leaves your local Pentious still suffering. And lest we forget, I entered that contract wanting to help _him_. Still do."

Alastor

And there is nothing he wants more than to go home, curl up in Telly's coils, and not come out for a week. He nods. "I know."

Valera

A low sigh. She could WANT to help, but she couldn't really *do* much. "Well. I suppose there's nothing to be done, at least not now."

Alastor

"I suppose not. Maybe another time." It's hard to even think about an alternative plan right now. How can he even consider a plan that doesn't involve completely erasing all of his mistakes in one fell swoop? What's the *point*?

Valera

"Another time? Yes, absolutely. The politician in me already has five concepts to workshop with my imaginary team. But I am tired, and nauseous, and I want to go hide against either Leal or Penny, whichever lucky man I find first."

Alastor

"Cheers to *that.*" He limply picks up his almost-empty coffee mug. "I think I'll be following your lead." Now that for the first time he HAS someone to hide against.

Valera

She waves her tea at him in what could pass as a pale imitation of a toast, slamming back the rest of her drink like a shot. "At least that's one thing we get out of *love*. Somebody willing to let us use them as *emotional support*."

Alastor

That feels like an attack. Why does that feel like an attack? "Or a warm pillow." He finishes his coffee and stands. "Well, that didn't quite go the way I wanted it to. But thank you for the introduction." He nods toward the egg. "And I suppose I'll see you at work tomorrow?" Remember that part? After all this, they've got JOBS they've gotta go to tomorrow? Harrowing.

Valera

She opens her mouth to remind him that she and Penny are both coldblooded, but then remembers that Leal is a furnace on legs, and just nods instead. "It was... Well. Parts of this visit were fun. I'll see you tomorrow, Alastor. And I'll remember to talk to my beau about your role in Eelizzy's life." Thumbs up.

Alastor

Listen, Alastor's spent the past few decades crying himself to sleep on a pillow with a faux snakeskin pillowcase. Who wants to argue with him if he says he feels warmer when he's wrapped around Telly.

His expression brightens a little bit. "I'd appreciate it."

Valera

She wheezes out a breathy laugh as she stands, smoothing her dress over her stomach. "Hey. I know this was rough, and I wish our talks didn't always end so stressfully, but I do think you'll be a fantastic uncle. With allowances for Penny and Leal, there's nobody I'd trust more to make sure my daughter was cared for if something happened to me. And I mean it."

A flick of a wrist, and a familiar portal opens in the wall, the Hotel's lobby visible through a shimmery haze. It could have gone worse, all things considered.

Alastor

"I doubt we'll need to have any other conversations on this. It's not like we have anything else to discuss on the topic." A crooked smile, but a slightly pained one. "Just let me know when the first PTA meeting is!" And out he goes.

Valera

[[ NOT LIKE SHE CAN DUMP HIM ON TELLY'S SHIP BUT SHE *WISHES*

Alastor

((He's gonna be teleporting himself STRAIGHT to Telly's ship anyway))

[ill-heart]

Party Banter #2

 (I had fun writting party banter with my Inquisitor... So, here I am again. I’m sorry, I’m a sucker for cute or tragic talk.)

Varric : How is it going, Cupcake ?

Dam : What do you mean ?

Varric : The entire population of Thedas wants to know how Buttercup and you are doing together.

Dam : Oh really ? The world really wants to know or… is it just you, for your book ?

Varric : Oh Cupcake, I can’t hide anything from you…

Dam : *giggles*

Varric : So, can my curiosity and my readers’s one can be satisfied ?

Dam : Only if you satisfy mine…

Varric : You really want to know more about me ? I’m flattered !

Dam : No… Well… I want to know more about you… And Hawke.

Varric : I…

Dam : There is something between you two, right ?

Varric : I’m terribly sorry, Cupcake, but this is the one story I will never tell.

Dam : Didn’t you say the same thing about Bianca ?

Varric : *laughs* You got me here, Cupcake.

 **

 Dam : I know you wanted to prove to Orlesians we weren’t together, but…

Dorian : Yes, my dear ?

Dam : Were you, and Iron, forced to have sex when we stopped at Val Royeaux ?

Dorian : It is not my fault, my dear. Bull is… very persuasive about this kind of stuff.

Iron Bull : You didn’t say that when I asked you what you wanted… It was like you begged me to rip off your clothes and put somes chains on your…

Dam : Okay, boys ! I don’t want to know, I’ve heard enough.

Dorian : I didn’t say a thing when Sera made you scream like a virgin.

Dam : Dorian ?

Dorian : Yes, my dear ?

Dam : Shut up.

Dorian : *giggles* I won’t make promises.

 **

 Iron Bull : Tell me, boss, why did you choose Knight Enchanter as a specialization ?

Dam : Well, you might find it silly…

Iron Bull : Let me be the judge of that.

Dam : *sighs* When I was a kid, I wanted to be a knight. My uncle was one of them and… I admired him when I was younger. He was really good with a sword, so I’d liked to watch his trainings.

Iron Bull : Hm…

Dam : I guess, I’m not good as him, right ?

Iron Bull : Yeah, you’re bad. Really bad.

Dam : *giggles nervously* Well… At least, the dragon didn’t eat me.

Iron Bull : He was about to, boss. You’re lucky Varric was near by to save your ass.

Dam : Yes, I know… I…

Iron Bull : But I can train you, if you want, boss.

Dam : Really ?

Iron Bull : Of course, and I’m sure Krem could learn a lot of things with you. He needs to fight someone else.

Dam : I can’t wait to start !

Iron Bull : *laughs* You won’t be happy for long. Krem is good, and he won’t give you a chance to win. So… Your ass will be kick everyday.

Dam : Well, I think I can survive him !

Iron Bull : We’ll see, boss. We’ll see.

 **

 (After Here Lies the Abyss)

 Cassandra : Inquisitor, can I ask you something ?

Dam : Well, I guess I can’t say no, right ?

Cassandra : Yes, of course, you can. It’s just…

Dam : If it’s about Sera or Varric, I think we shouldn’t waste our time talking, Cass’. We can’t get along about them.

Cassandra : I know, I just want to know why you decide to save Hawke and let Stroud in the Fade. I don’t want to judge you or anything, but I don’t understand why you save him when the Grey Wardens needed Stroud.

Dam : What can I say, Cass’ ? That I’m sorry ? That I’m just a stupid mage who shouldn’t take responsabilities because everyone seems to think I can’t see the consequences of it ? That I couldn’t sacrificed Hawke because I thought of Varric’s pain if I leave his closest friend in the Fade ? You know what ? If you think you can do better than me, take my place, all the responsabilities and we will see if you can handle it !

Cassandra : I’m…

Dam : I don’t want to hear you, so just leave me alone for once.

Cassandra : …

Dam : …

Cassandra : I’m sorry, Inquisitor. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings or act like I’m judging your decision. I won’t do it again, you have my word.

Dam : Whatever you say, I don’t care.

 **

 (After Here Lies the Abyss)

 Cole : You are not alone.

Dam : Please, Cole, I’m not in the mood today.

Cole : You did your best in the Fade. Stroud didn’t blame you, he was happy to stay behind and fight Nightmare. He wanted to prove that Grey Wardens can be trust. He wanted to do it.

Dam : … I…

Cole : They all know you did you best back there. They know you had a difficult decision to make, and they will never blame you too.

Dam : …

Cole : You don’t have to regret anything. If you do that, your brain will exploded and you might hurt yourself and the ones who like you.

Dam : *laughs* Brains can’t explose, Cole.

Cole : No one will forgive you if you die. Sera will yell at everyone, I can feel it. Cassandra will become a demon and no one will be able to stop her fury. Dorian will burn everything. It will be like a storm of fire which will consume them all.

Dam : I… I’m sorry.

Cole : Those words aren’t needed. Friends don’t want to hear them. They want you to smile, and shine because they think you deserve it.  

Dam : Well, I will try my best. Thanks, Cole.

 **

 Dam : That dress you weared last evening…

Vivienne : Yes, darling ?

Dam : It was… beautiful.

Vivienne : You impress me, darling. I didn’t though you have some… taste in fashion.

Dam : I have, but… I… I’m afraid dress can’t suit me well.

Vivienne : Oh darling *laughs*, if you weren’t so stupid, I would say you are cute.

Dam : *giggles* I know, it’s silly, however I can’t help it.

Vivienne : Maybe, I can take you to shops next time we stop at Val Royeaux. I know a lot of people who would enjoy creating dresses for the Inquisitor.

Dam : Isn’t… it a trick to humiliate me ?

Vivienne : Please, darling, I would never do such a thing. I’m not like some of your… friends.

Dam : I prefer to be sure, before I accept you offer.

Vivienne : Don’t worry about that, I will make a beauty out of you.

Dam : Good luck with that, Vivienne.

 **

 Dam : Your paintings are gorgeous, Solas.

Solas : You would have love the ancient elven’s paintings then. Most of it were as huge and as beautiful as Skyhold is now.

Dam : I’m jealous, I have to admit it.

Solas : *laughs* You shouldn’t be, Inquisitor, you can’t be good at everything.

Dam : I know, however I’m happy to have you by my side. I can appreciate your skills and the stories which lies within. Besides, your last painting… does it represent our battle in the Fade ?

Solas : Kind off. I tried to portray what you saw back there. I wish I could have seen it with my own eyes.

Dam : Next time I’m planning to join the Fade, I promise you will be the first to know.

Solas : *laughs* It’s kind of you, even if it certainly won’t happen again.

Dam : Who knows ? We could be surprise.

 **

 Dam : You are a good man.

Blackwall : You… hm… Why now ?

Dam : I don’t know, I just thought about all the times you are kind to people, and I wanted to tell you what I…

Blackwall : I’m not so…

Dam : Don’t say it, Blakwall. Don’t deny it in front of me. You are kind with others people, even if you don’t believe it.

Blackwall : You flatter me, my lady, but I think you overestimate me.

Dam : Blackwall ?

Blackwall : Yes ?

Dam : Next time you doubt about your kindness, I will punch your face like no one, not even your father, ever did.

Blackwall : Well, you are a… lively woman, Inquisitor *laughs*. I understand why Sera loves you.

Dam : I just know when I’m right about someone. Don’t you ever forget that.

 **

 Sera : Sunny… I love you and all this bullshit but…

Dam : Hm hm ?

Sera : Can’t you change it ?

Dam : Change what ?

Sera : You know… This thing.

Dam : Yes ?

Sera : This horse ! I mean, a horse isn’t supposed to have a fucking sword in the head and walk around like it’s nothing ! It’s… not normal !

Dam : But, love, just look at her ! She is beautiful. I can’t betray her trust, Laëtie won’t forgive me.

Sera : Laë… Wait, don’t tell me you gave a name to this thing ?

Blackwall : She did that weeks ago, Sera.

Sera : Sweet Andraste tits ! I will never put my butt on this… demon.

Dam : As long as I can ride Laëtie, I’m okay.

Sera : *whispers* I’m the one you should ride.

[crimsondustofficial]

Devil's Deal

Landing on top of a casino building, the flashing lights being no match for Damien's and Anex's shadowed forms. Letting out a silent huff of air from all the running and jumping he had done, Damien really wished that they had gone the normal way.

Resting his arms on the railing while looking past the large letters and bright, neon lights from the sign that would attract anybody who gambled or adored any kind of entertainment, just to turn in what money they have. Damien didn't really find the need to gamble since he nor Anex were really gamblers.

Unlike Anex's 'boyfriend' Vox, Damien wasn't as hungry as he is for power. Sure, his job does involve payment for succeeding in putting on a killer performance with Anex, but he wasn't like Vox. A person who loves who'll do anything for a quick cash grab and gain more power.

Thinking about that punk ass made Damien want to crush something. After the web of abuse and lies he's pulled on Anex, the only escape Anex had was taking Algiz and taking refuge with Damien and Daisy. The buzzing of his phone snapped him back into reality. Fishing around his pocket, Damien saw that the number was non recognizable. Probably another prank caller. Anex perked up as Damien answered and placed the phone to his ear.

"Yeah?"

If anything, Damien wasn't really in a mood to play any kind of childish mind games.

"This Damien?"

The voice on the other end had a thick Brooklyn accent. Damien looked back at his fallen angel friend, whose expression read clear confusion. How the hell did this voice know Damien? He doesn't recall ever knowing anyone from Hell with a Brooklyn accent.

"Depends on who's asking."

Resting his lower back on the railing while crossing his one combat boot over the other and resting one arm over his stomach, Damien held the phone close to his ear, really wishing that the moron on the other side would hurry up and spit out what he wanted. "Who I am ain't important. My boss has a job that he'd like you to take."

A job huh? If it's anything that Damien likes, it's a job. Especially if the job is a bit of a challenge. However, he was a little bit skeptical about this.

". . .What kind of job?"

An almost amused chuckle could be heard from the other line. Anex's confusion became more and more coherent. This little bastard thinks it's funny to waste other people's time? Right now, Damien was anything but amused.

"That's what I like to hear. The task is to kidnap somebody. Pay is good. All you's gotta do is deliver the target safely to my boss and your good as paid. Think you can handle it?"

Feeling his phone buzz, Damien looked down to see an image had come in. Clicking on the notification, what Damien saw on the phone made his blood chill as he recognized who was in the photo. Little Ruby, smiling sweetly and looking to be having a good time. No. He couldn't do this! If he hadn't met Ruby, maybe he'd reconsider. But this little girl. . .Damien couldn't betray her trust. It'd just break him drastically if he did. And... It would break Anex too. Plus, they weren't those kinds of people!

"I'm gonna have to pass."

Almost immediately, he could hear the faint sound of someone shouting angrily. It almost made him laugh but he decided to just smirk, seeing as though he just made the 'boss' angry.

"I'd reconsider your decision, my good man. Unless you want to know what it's like to be hunted down like the wild little animal you are and feel endless amounts of torture, then I'd be extremely careful with what you say, you fuck wit."

Damien couldn't help but start laughing. That was cute. Very cute. Someone actually threatened him. Please, he was a very tall and scary looking guy himself, this was all nothing more than just something to have a good laugh at. He was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down his face. Plus, his stomach began hurting from laughing and bending over, howling with laughter.

"'Ey, I'm being serious here, you yakking little hyena!" Taking a breath to calm down and using one of his thin fingers to wipe away the tears, Damien let out an amused little scoff.

"Heh. As am I. Nice try though, I'd almost taken your deal there. Now, if you're done wasting my time, tell your boss thanks, but no thanks."

Hanging up, Damien couldn't help but chuckle again. He was unaware of how much trouble he was in with the voice's boss. How he couldn't see the absolute anger rising and blowing out of Valentino's head like those old bendy-hose cartoons people use to watch back in the day.

"Who was it, Damien?"

Looking back at the fallen angel male, Damien figured that the threat he had just received was most likely the guy blowing smoke out of his ass. He wasn't gonna take it seriously. But just to be safe...

"Eh, some asshole trying to offer a job but it was a crap job. Plus, he threatened me but I ain't worried. Just to be safe, I want you to pack a few things that'll last for a few days and head over to that Hotel everyone's been talking about." Damien didn't want Anex to become a target like Ruby. Anex was a fragile being. And Damien would never forgive himself if anything bad happened to the fallen angel Not a snowball's chance in Hell would he consider that devil of an Overlord the only one Anex would have left.

"The Hotel? Why?"

"I'm not sure if that guy on the other end was joking or not. But I'm just playing it safe for right now." The slamming of fists and a low growl startled the two shadowed Demons in the room. Valentino had a look of pure rage written all over his face as he growled and punched a nearby wall, a clean hole sticking out. The two Demons clung to each other and began shaking like a couple of leaves, fear dripping down in the bullets of sweat.

"How I want to rip that demon a new one all because he decided to go all noble. He'll learn soon enough that it's not nice to turn down an offer from me!"

The air in the room chilled, it was cold enough to turn someone into a block of ice. It wasn't until the Overlord pimp took a breath to calm down. Maybe what that bastard of an angel needs is a little... persuasion.

The Overlord began thinking, gently tapping his sharp claws on his desk, deep in thought. Many scenarios ran through his mind of what he could do to Damien. Then, a malicious smile unrolled onto his face.

"Boss? What're you thinking?"

An amused little chuckle escaped Valentino, hot pink irises gleamed behind the pink and gold heart glasses before glancing up at the sweating duo of a Raccoon Demon and a Panda Demon. "I was thinking, boys. If Damien isn't gonna comply, why not give him a little... persuasion into changing his mind?"

Now, this amused Valentino. If this little plan he was coming up with was indeed going to help him make the allusive angel drop to his feet and feel pain like nobody has ever felt before, then he had to give it a try. Stepping close to the window, his reflection stared out to the city while the little lackeys of his began sweating even more.

"But uh... What do you want us to do, Boss?"

A deep, guttural chuckle sang its way out of Val's throat and into the air like the smoke from his cigarettes that he can easily conjure up. A woman who's willing to do this for a price. Now, this will be a show to watch. A sinister, sharp pink teeth grin danced onto Valentino's face.

"Keep an eye on Damien. Find out his weaknesses if you have to. Report back when your done."

Both the Panda and the Raccoon shared a glance between each other. But they knew how to question Valentino's orders. Last pair who did ended up shark food. And the mere thought of that happening sent multiple chills down their spines and back up again.

"Yes, Boss."

Valentino was left alone after his little goonies scurried out of his office, like a couple of scaredy cats.. His gold tooth glimmered sadistically in the dim lighting of the room.

"Keep that little attitude and your head held high, you ungrateful bastard. Hell's gonna hit you hard in the stomach when your dropped to your knees."

[bettycrocker]

i like how people are looking at my joseph analysis and either thing its 100% canon or garbage and horrible and that im just trying to make joseph out to be a villain and that i think robert and mary have no flaws themselves

so have another analysis mostly focused on mary’s issues

this is just my theory guys i never stated anything in there to be canon mary could be an alcoholic for a completely different reason that doesnt relate to josephs cheating in the slightest but i find it hard to believe joseph would settle down with someone he’s fully away has a dependency on alcohol and for years outright do nothing about it to help her especially considering hes a christian youth minister.

it might have something to do with mary mentioning “this isnt my first rodeo, it’s my 5th” which hints that mary has given birth 5 times or shes calling joseph a manchild which would be absolutely savage of her to do right in front of his fucking face

so it leads me to believe she’s either

insulting joseph

has had a 5th child before that she either had to give up or it died at a young age

miscarried

or if the cult ending is real she gave birth to a literal demon at one point

“but travis, she says she gave birth to only four!!!”

c-sections are a thing you guys, she only really mentioned natural birth when she says “squeezed four little”

if she miscarried, lost the child when it was young, or had to give up one of her children, it would definitely hurt her quite a bit. she would most likely resort to self-destructive behavior as a result.

and ive got a lot of people wondering why mary would become friends with robert knowing that he’s slept with joseph. she must not know, right? otherwise she’d just hate robert, right?

nah man

mary’s smart, she pay attention to her surroundings. but she’s not a snitch. she most like did confront robert about it after she put the pieces together but robert was most likely still distraught after being thrown aside by joseph and she couldn’t help but feel bad for him. mary’s an extremely compassionate woman, i dont feel like after getting a full explanation from robert that she’d hate him.

she knows because she figured out on her own, assumed robert was the one who seduced joseph only to find out that joseph did the same thing to robert he did to the main dad; got close, told you that his marriage was over, slept with you, and turned around after not talking to you for a long time and saying that he and mary were gonna work things out.

mary resents joseph for not telling her what he did with robert, even after being aware that she knows what he’s doing and being aware of his lies, pretending that he’s only being nice and happy around mc dad just to get them into bed with him.

the way he acts really does take a toll on her and her coping mechanism is to drink and flirt with other men. it’s 100% not healthy and not something she should be doing to herself but its the only way she knows how to keep her marriage and really theyre only staying together for the sake of their kids. they’re all still extremely young, one being autistic as well. it’d be way too much on all four of them to divorce just out of the blue, especially when the children clearly love their parents very much even if we dont see mary interacting with he children in the story.

while joseph is off doing all his dates and organizing church stuff she’s most likely with the children. she doesn’t seem like the type to just avoid her parental duties when she knows her husband isnt going to be around. if she knows joseph is going to be home she’ll go and volunteer at the animal shelter, go hang out with robert, or just drink alone. she wants to detach herself from the world and try to keep her mind off of josephs infidelity.

keep in mind in the cult ending dialogue she does say “you ruined my life” we could piece that together with joseph just being a demon and forcing mary into the cult, but it can only tie to where her drinking problem comes in with joseph being the cause for her addiction. she’s fully aware that she shouldn’t be drinking as much as she is, but she’s become dependent on it since she cant leave joseph.

mary has her faults absolutely but to demonize her completely just from your first impressions of her isn’t fair. we get the first impression that joseph is a kind man who will bake with you and bring you cookies, but if we pull back a few layers, we can start to see something sinister in that pink polo shirt just like we can find a kindhearted but hurt woman when we look into mary’s wine glass.

mary definitely loves joseph, she most likely met him when he was still a sailor and they got together at a young age, she probably got pregnant which forced them to get married, lost the child in some way which started her drinking problem and then her husband started being unfaithful before they even had their first child. val is at least in her mid to late twenties, robert lost his wife around when she was getting ready to go to college, so if robert was josephs first offense (which i really dont feel like it is), joseph has been doing this for a very long time when you think about their childrens ages.

all in all please dont hate mary, she has been through a lot you dont have to agree with her coping mechanism but you also shouldn’t throw her under the bus for her self-destructive behavior.

[silverwhisp]

I love Dragon age and make it a point to play them once a year just like how I watch Lord Of The Rings once a year. This is Noct Je’taime.

Dragon Age Name: Noct Je'taime Class: Templar Hunter (I.e Demon Hunter not Mage Hunter.) Age: 28 Looks: Has scar going from the top of his left hairline to his chin. Has Charcoal black hair that is short and messy but not curly. Has Obsidian colored eyes (Like Mikasa from Attack On Titan). Is relatively good looking. Has a nimble body like a Free Runner might have. Is about 5ft.11 in height. Has a slightly darker skin tone to Cullen since he is outside quite a bit. Outfit: A long coat not unlike the Novice Ursine Armor from The Witcher armored with thick dragon scale. Allows him to be nimble and slice without a weight holding him down. Colored with the Famous red and white that the Chantry's Templar's are known for. Has Templar symbol etched into his chest but after the Templar's started killing all mages regardless of guilt it has since been scratched out. In place of the normal plate helm he wears a hood similar to an assassin in the same color. Weapons: Dual Sided Daggers so he can cover more space in less time. They are made of Silverite since demons seem to hate it as much as darkspawn. Has almost woven like handles. Also carries many special bombs meant to hurt different types of demon to weaken them and make them easier to kill. Also has two bracers with hidden knifes in them. Those are only used when he has to dress formal like at parties or balls. Likes: Cookies, Spirits (Loves Cole to Death), Tall Women (Especially Quinari), The Work the Red Jennies have done, Mage freedom, The Maker, stealth, Philosophy, Psychology, and watching the sun rise and set respectively. Also secretly reads swords and shields and most of Varric's books. Dislikes: Demons, Racism, Slavery, The Rite of Tranquility, The Seekers (Excludes Cassandra), The Templars for killing all mages, Caviar, Alcohol, Small Spaces, Lying of Any kind, and most forms of cakes due to a case of food poisoning when he was young. Beliefs: Believes in The Maker but does not think he intervenes on anyone's behalf. The Divine's death is a prime example of that to him. Believes all gods exist as long as people believe in them. Believes mages should be free but have a separate school just for them so they can hone their skills. Like a boarding school where they attend for eight months then can go home and do whatever and after they graduate they can live their lives as they see fit and have Templars on duty to put out fires or calm badly casted spells or badly done experiments. Thinks Vivienne would be a perfect Headmaster for that school. Thinks the Rite of Tranquility should be abolished period. No if ands or buts. Dislikes Blood Magic but doesn't believe it's anymore evil than any other form of magic. He often brings up how nice Merrill is as an example of it not being inherently evil. Believes Solas when he explains spirts and demons are the same but demons are intentions gone wrong. Doesn't change how he feels when killing them but it makes him feel good when Solas informed him they may reform as they once were. Personality: Enjoys making people, especially children, smile or laugh. Is a big fan of making people cringe with bad puns. "What do you call an owl magician? WHOdinni!" Oddly enjoys discussing things like philosophy with Keran. Has massive respect for people who for go tradition and walk their own path as he had when the Templars separated from the ChantryLoves learning new things about other cultures he's never immersed himself in. Is best friends with Cole, Dagna, Harding, Krem, and Sera. He had adopted Sera and Cole sort of. Makes sure they are happy and well off. He even once asked Sera how the rest of the Red Jennies would feel if he joined after all this mess. She was ecstatic to say the least. Actually has met many of the old companions. Hates all alcoholic beverages for and I quote, "Why would I want to drink something that taste like sweat that was boiled in a pot with piss and old socks?" Has never had sex out of choice not some unspoken oath. When Bull pays a tavern wench to seduce him he usually says, "Unless you are only wishing to talk give Bull his money back because that shit ain't happening. And no it's not because you aren't attractive I just have no desire to do so." He always tells the truth. Once Vivenne asked how a certain dress looked on her and he warned her, "If I say what I think odds are you'll roast me." She assured him she wouldn't and he then said, "It makes you look like a walking child's painting." He was right about her wanting to roast him but it's a good thing he remembers how to negate magic. Despite not lying he's actually damn good at Diamond back and even beat Josephine a few times at the game. When he met Hawke he wanted to deck them but resisted to urge to deck Hawke because they had not known what Anders had planned and is actually relieved when he hears Hawke killed him. He hates The Seekers with an undying passion. His hate was only amplified after Cassandra let him read the book of secrets. He doesn't hate her and believes if anyone can make The Seekers into what they should be it's her. He even offers to help after she decides to rebuild them. Actually is a bit of a skilled sketch artist. Often makes amazingly detailed sketches of places and people. Vivienne once looked through his book at his request and she asked to keep the one he did of her and had him sign it and had it framed. He was ecstatic. Though his family were killed in the Blight he was able to let go of the rage. Has a portrait of them hanging in his room at Skyhold. Cassandra once caught him reading Swords and Shields and nearly squealed when she learned she had someone to talk to about it. They said if either speaks to anyone about this the other dies. Would be willing to die for those he loves and will not hesitate to kill whatever threatens them. Story: He was about 17 or 18 when the blight happened. He remembers it all. He hails from Redcliffe and actually was ecstatic to see Harding in The Inquisition. They spent the day just catching up with each other. He remembers the undead tearing through the village however. He remembers the screams, the blood, and the fear. He still has nightmares on Occasion because that's how his parents died. They died the first night they came to the village. It's what made him join the Chantry and almost Demand to become a Templar Hunter instead of a normal Templar. They nearly sent him to the Seekers but he said if they did they would never find him. Oddly they took that threat from the young man very seriously so began his training. It was beyond difficult but he did not give a shit about how hard it was. The day he took his oath was the anniversary of the blight ending in Fereldan. For the next 8 years he traveled all over the world short of Par Vollen and Tevinter doing his job. Killing demons, abominations, and on occasion serial killers. One faithful day he was hunting what Val Rouyex described as, "An abomination sent by the demons to kill everyone." This is the faithful case where he would meet the love of his life Saylice the Ben-Hasserath agent. As he was stalking his prey a tall Quinari woman stopped him and asked what he was doing. He told the truth and she offered that they should work together since he can negate magic and she knows its tactics. He agreed and overtime they became rather close and just before the case ended they kissed. They kept in contact in secret after that and he would always meet her or help her when she needed it. When he heard what Anders did he was livid. But not at the mages there. He knew Meredith was fucking crazy and even complained to the leader of the Templars about her behavior. He wanted Anders dead. But when the Templars left the Chantry to kill all mages regardless of involvement or guilt he destroyed the symbol that was on his armor and left the order. He wandered for a year till a giant hole opened in the sky. He raced to Haven and joined The Inquisition. It helped that Harding was there. They were good friends in Ferelden. He quickly became their go to Demon expert and he often collaborated with Solas to inform the Soldiers how to fight them effectively. After the events of Redcliffe Castle and Corypheus revealing himself and they went to Skyhold Saylice showed up. Bull recognized her and confirmed her story with the letters he received that she was indeed named Tal-Vashoth. He let her stay in his room and their relationship quickly grew from there. Bull actually found some comfort with him and her when he saved The Chargers.

[rocky-alex]

Motels Won’t Cut It Anymore

Word count: 1207

Warnings: A little cursing

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Chapter six: Born To Be A Wild Child

You hauled your two bags down the stairwell and out the entrance to the building. You had your most important stuff in a tiny backpack, made to sit close to your body so you could wear it while driving, and two duffels with the rest of your things. You’d decided that you’d feel safer travelling, so you couldn’t bring too much stuff with you. One of the duffels held the stuff you’d promised Roy you’d take with you when you left, and so that was going in the nearest dumpster. Once out the door your saw Sam and Dean were standing on the sidewalk, speaking to each other in low voices. When they heard the door close behind you they stopped talking and turned to you. You stopped in front of them, dropping the bags to the ground.

“All done?” Sam asked.

“All done,” you answered. “Just have to drop off the keys to the apartment and get rid of this somewhere on the way.” You gestured to one of the duffels.

“What, you’re not taking it all?” The brothers looked a bit surprised.

“No. I decided that I’m gonna go on the road for a bit, and I can’t have too much with me, as it won’t fit on the bike.” Sam and Dean exchanged a look.

“What?” you asked. Dean turned his head away, leaving it to Sam to explain.

“We… You can’t go on your own just yet, Y/N,” he said hurriedly.

“… I can’t go on my own?”

“Not yet anyway,” Sam tried to explain. You turned to Dean.

“But you said-”

“I said ‘eventually’,” he cut you off.

“You won’t let me go, will you.” There was no question in your voice. Dean finally looked at you.

“No, we won’t.” There was something in his eyes. Had you taken a guess you would’ve said it was pity, if it weren’t for the complete lack of sympathy or kindness. He knew something about you, they both did.

“Wanna tell me why?” you asked in a low voice. You looked between them, seeing the answer in their faces. You cleared your throat, which suddenly felt very dry.

“Let’s go then,” you said and grabbed your bags, looking at Dean. “Okay if I keep these in your trunk?” He nodded and grabbed the bags.

He and Sam started walking toward the car parked around the corner. You sat up on your bike, looking down on the busted side, running your hands over the scratches. This had been an extremely long day, and it wasn’t over yet. Your plan had been to leave the Winchesters behind and hope you never saw them again. Just because the fact that ghosts existed had been forced in your face didn’t mean you wanted to stick around to find out more. But you knew you couldn’t leave. If they didn’t hesitate when killing someone possessed, you were sure they wouldn’t hesitate in tracking you down, should you try to leave their, not so pleasant, company.

Suddenly, you heard the chevy roar to life and turned the keys in the bike’s ignition. One thing that seemed to remain the same, despite the horrible scratches she’d had to suffer, was that your baby ran smoothly and didn’t let you down. She started up and you felt the vibrations in your legs. It made you smile. You rolled down the road, stopping just before the alley and waiting for Dean to pull out.

He stopped the car beside you and Sam rolled down the driver’s side window. Dean leaned over to talk to you.

“Try to keep up, we’ve got a long drive ahead.”

“Where are we going?” you asked as you buckled you helmet and turned on the headphones.

“Back to Kansas, Dorothy.” You frowned, not getting it at all. Apparently Dean thought it was funny, because he chuckled and pulled the chevy out onto the road. You snorted, following them toward the highway. The song playing in your helmet put you in a good mood, and it certainly fit the situation. You caught up with the brothers and stayed close behind.

“Get your motor runnin’. Head out on the highway! Lookin’ for adventure, and whatever comes our way. Yeah darlin’ go make it happen, take the world in a love embrace. Fire all of your guns at once, and explode into space… Born to be wild!”

When you got up on the highway you pulled up next to the car, keeping pace with Dean. There weren’t any other cars on the road at the moment, so the drive was peaceful. You drove for hours until the sun started going down and Dean finally decided to stop for the night. It was a small town, similar to the one you’d just left, and you followed the chevy to a small motel just off the town’s main road. Seriously? After what had just happened?

You parked next to the Winchesters and got off your bike. Ow. It had been ages since you rode for so long without stopping for a break, and there would be more of this tomorrow. You bent down to stretch your legs and swung your arms around. You heard the car doors open and looked over at Dean.

“Really? Another motel?” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Take it or leave it, Dorothy.” Nooo… You desperately hoped this wouldn’t become a thing.

“Fine.”

After locking your helmet in the bike’s compartment you walked over to the car to grab your bags. Now that the drive was over, you started tensing up again. You weren’t here for the adventure after all. However, you refused to go quietly. You wanted answers, such as what they knew about you, why was the demon interested in them, and how could you determine if a ghost was… No. Not now. First things first, getting a room. Sam, apparently was already on it as Dean unlocked the trunk, and you got a first peek inside. Dean pulled out the four duffels in there, yours, his and Sam’s. Then he lifted the bottom of the trunk and- what the fuck?

Dean noticed your staring and looked back down in the trunk.

“Yeah, that…” he said slowly. He sounded kind of sheepish, which you found really weird because the guy had a fucking arsenal in his trunk.

“Yeah, Dean. That,” you said. “Who the hell needs this many guns and knives? And…” A light coloured box caught your attention and you went to grab it, but Dean caught your wrist in a tight grip, moving it away from the trunk.

“Nah ah, don’t touch anything,” he said and let go of you. “As for the guns and knives…You’d be surprised how many tools you need in this line of work.” He opened a smaller duffel and started to fill it with all kinds of weapons, like shotguns, because why not? A few knives went in too before he closed the trunk. He turned back to you.

“Uhuh,” you said and narrowed your eyes. Dean frowned. You bent down to pick up your bags, seeing Sam coming back from the reception. You passed Dean and clapped him on the shoulder. “Looks like we got a room, big boy. Let’s go.”

Note: I’d love to know what you think so far! :D Also, if anyone wants a link to the playlist I’m using for inspiration, let me know :) 

[urwarriorangel]

dine and dash (stefan salvatore ft klaus mikaelson, pt iv)

Plot: You and Stefan dated for three years while in high school. You both thought your relationship would last, but college managed got in the way. You wanted to move out of the region and Stefan couldn’t find the strength to let go of his life and home in Mystic Falls. So you two decided to break up. You left to college in Massachusetts and Stefan stayed in Mystic Falls. While you were gone, things changed between you and a certain original, but you hadn’t yet let go of Stefan. Now, almost six years later, you’re both invited to Bonnie and Kol’s wedding. It’s time for a reunion. While trying to figure out what to do with Stefan, you lose another lover.

Pairings: Delena, Carenzo, Jalaric, Mebekah, Tyliv, Stefivy, Haylijah, Konnie/Kennett, Damon x Bonnie x Reader (friends), Klaus x (you’ll have to read and see)

Warnings: anger, cursing, heart-wrench (sorry no smut)

A/N: I know I know I know... I need to work on the stupid plot :( sorry! I just wanted to get this out bc I really love it. thank you for reading this series! this part is a little more based around your friendships than anything. Your feelings for Klaus remain a little unclear but also become a little clearer... if that makes sense? pls let me know what you think!!! (no gifs are mine!!!)

dine and dash masterlist

“Looking for this?” Damon holds out the clipboard, eyes on Elena as she help cleans the mess they all made.

“Yes, and shouldn’t you be helping?” You grab the clipboard and Damon raises a brow.

“Do you really think I’d get in the middle of that chaos with the threat of you ripping out my throat hanging in the air?” He turns around and faces you, feigning hurt.

“Are you telling me you had nothing to do with this mess?” You raise your brows at him and Damon scoffs.

“I didn’t say that. I just said I wasn’t in the middle of it,” he smirks and you roll your eyes, flipping through the pages of the clipboard.

“Why am I not surprised?” You whisper, not really paying attention to Damon anymore.

“Because you know me too well,” he shrugs and keeps an eye on you. “How did the talk go, by the way?”

“It went well. He’s moved on, he’s happy. He’s in a good headspace and I’m happy for him. It’s time for both of us to leave the relationship in the past and open our hearts to other people,” you look over to Damon, a soft sigh leaving your lips. “It’s a bit of a relief. I don’t have to feel guilty now.”

“Feel guilty for what?” Bonnie walks over to you two, grabbing a bottle of water as she sits next to you.

“Stefan and I talked and it’s a weight off both of our shoulders I think,” you whisper and look up at your best friend. “I don’t feel guilty about wanting something else. You know?”

“Yeah, I get it,” Bonnie whispers and makes eye contact with Damon as you look back down at the clipboard.

“So have you--?” Damon speaks up and you cut him off.

“Wait… Klaus has a plus one to the wedding?” You whisper, catching both your friends by surprise.

“What?” Bonnie grabs the clipboard.

“There’s no way,” Damon narrows his eyes and takes it from her, staring at the page. “Who the hell is Val--WHAT? There’s absolutely no way.”

“Who’s his plus one?” Bonnie raises a brow and rests a hand on her hip.

“It’s no one, I’m sure it was a mis--”

“Valerie. Klaus’s plus one is Stefan’s Valerie,” you clench your jaw, staring straight ahead as you try to steady your breathing.

“Excuse me? There’s no way she’s-!”

“Guys, please,” you whisper and your friends immediately turn to face you. “It’s okay. As long as he’s happy, it’ll be fine, yeah?”

“Don’t give me that shit, Y/N. Everyone knows how much you care about him,” Damon scoffs and shakes his head as you let out a weak chuckle.

“I just feel like a jackass for pairing us together in a room, you know?” You shake your head and sigh. “I’ll let him know he can share the room with Valerie. I’ll make other arrangements.”

“I’m so sorry, babe,” Bonnie wraps an arm around you and rests her head on your shoulder while Damon kisses the top of your head.

“Seriously it’s only your first day back and everyone’s screwing you over,” Damon observes and you laugh.

“I’ll be fine. I have a wedding to plan,” you kiss Bonnie’ head and Damon’s cheek. “Now, you two finish cleaning while I figure this shit out, yeah?”

“Do I have to?” Bonnie sighs and looks up at you.

“No, you can grab a glass--just ONE glass--of champagne and lounge for a little, somewhere I can see you,” you raise your brows at her and Bonnie escapes while she can.

“Do I have to?” Damon gives you puppy eyes.

“Yeah, what the hell are you thinking? Get your ass over there and clean,” you push away a grumbling Damon and head over to the hallway in search of Klaus. He doesn’t seem to be anywhere in sight.

“Hey, Tyler,” you grab the person closest to you.

“Yeah, what’s up Y/N?” He and Liv look over to you, a few bags in hand.

“Have you guys seen Klaus by any chance?”

“I saw him leave right after you walked away earlier,” Liv speaks up, shrugging. “He kind of ran off.”

“Wierd. Thanks, guys. You’ve been a great help,” you smile at them and walk back to the bar, taking a seat. “Alright, here goes nothing.”

You look at your phone for a few minutes, not sure what to say or how to say it without conveying your hurt. You realize this won’t get any easier, so you just go for it.

After the deed is done, you set your phone aside and make yourself another drink. You turn around to see that the cleaning’s finally done and all your friends look more than just a little exhausted. So you follow through on your deal: you make everyone drinks, and they could not be more grateful.

You all spend the night talking and laughing and catching up and playing drunk charades/pictionary. If you were being honest, this is how you wanted your time back home to be like. You apologized to Ivy. You and Stefan managed to smile at each other a couple of times. You got to know Kai, Luke, and Liv better. You had some intellectual conversations with Marcel. It was overall a great time.

“Alright, I think it’s time for us to hit the hay,” Kol announces as Bonnie yawned yet again. He waved goodnight as he picked up his bride-to-be and took her to their bedroom.

“Yeah, we’re gonna head home, too. We’ll be back tomorrow, eight am just like it says on that damn clipboard,” Alaric groans as Jo smiles at you all and they head home to their precious little ones.

“Us too!” This comes from Damon and Elena.

“And us!” This from Tyler and Liv.

“Same here!” And this from Caroline and Enzo.

“Alright, you old geezers,” you roll your eyes as Matt and Rebekah chuckle nervously.

“Oh all right. You guys go, too,” you shoo them away as all four couples make their way to their respective rooms.

“Hayley and Elijah, you two should also probably head out. Hope is in the guest room at the end of Kol & Bonnie’s hallway,” you smile at the couple who hugged you and said their goodbyes. Yes, they grabbed Hope.

“Stefan? Ivy? This is your chance. The night is only gonna get wierder,” you shrug as the couple looks at one another.

“Yeah, we’re gonna take off, too,” Stefan holds Ivy close and you smile at them.

“Your room is less than 100 feet away. Go to sleep, losers,” you scoff as the couple laughs and leaves.

And, true to your word, the night got a lot wierder. At one point, you all played strip poker (you’re very sure that was either Marcel’s idea or Kai’s); sometime later, you guys went skinny dipping in the Salvatore pool (definitely Luke’s idea); soon after that you guys drank some more and finally managed to pass out in the living room.

Freya and Cami managed to snag one couch and Luke and Jeremy another. You were left on the floor with Marcel, Kai, and Davina. You were tossing and turning for a while until you felt someone lay next to you and hold you close, calming you almost immediately. You slept the whole night through.

You wake up the next morning to shouting around your head and some slight nudging around your feet.

“What the hell?” You whisper, groaning as someone snatched the sheet off of you. “Leave me alone.”

“Y/N you need to wake up before Klaus murders someone,” you recognize Damon’s worried voice and you sit up, rubbing your eyes open as the arms from the night before rest on your lower stomach..

“Why the fuck does Klaus want to murder someone? And--ooh here’s a better question: why the FUCK did you guys wake me up?” You whisper aggressively, opening your eyes to glare at Damon.

“Because of THAT,” Damon hisses, pointing at the person next to you.

“What is THA-oh god, no,” you murmur as your eyes rest on a sleeping Marcel who’s got his arms wrapped around you. “Oh no no no no no.”

“What the hell happened last night?” Damon helps you up, careful not to wake Marcel.

“Nothing happened, Damon. We all passed out, and I guess I couldn’t sleep so Marcel helped,” you shrug, stretching as Damon leads you outside.

“Yeah, well Klaus seems to think something happened, so--”

You two step outside and are met with the sight of Klaus and Valerie making out.

“Did you need me for something, Niklaus?” You mutter spitefully as he slowly pulls away from that demon witch.

“Me? No, not at all. Please meet--”

“Oh you don’t want me to meet anyone right now,” you glare at the two asshats and walk inside, brushing against an apologetic Damon.

“Look, I swear I didn’t know she was gonna be out there. He saw you two and kept spewing angry bullshit and I don’t--”

“Damon, sweetheart. I’m too hungover to feel anything or say anything. I’ll be fine. I just have to show him what he’s missing… after I get some food and coffee.”

@caughtonwires

[foxcroft-rpg-blog]

Congratulations, Addy! You really understand both the light and the dark sides of Jack, but what I really appreciate how you don’t ignore the bad in him. Jack isn’t perfect -- far from it. He’s done bad things and gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd, and you understand that. I can’t wait to see what you do with him.

Thanks again for applying! Please create your account and send in the link, track the right tags, and follow everyone on the masterlist as soon as you can. Welcome to Foxcroft!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Name: addy

Age: (16 and over) 20

Preferred pronouns: (if you’re comfortable sharing) she/her

Time zone: est

Activity: (include a brief explanation) on a scale of 1-10, i will give a fair estimate and say I am a healthy 6.5. This is mostly due to the fact that I am a full time med-school student, so I do tend to get overwhelmed with a bit of work but honestly, I tend to lurk the dash quite often in my free time !! i’m pretty good about communicating with admins, as well, about absences when I need them !!

Anything else?: (questions, concerns, etc.) I am just like so excited to see this. I have only ever applied to one other bio rp before and never really made the cut so I am kind of anxious. I’ve always wanted to try and see how it goes honestly, so please bear with me !!

IN CHARACTER

Full name: Jack Adrian Ramsay

Date of birth: April 5th

How long have they been in Foxcroft: (1-3 sentences. Please be consistent with bio.) All twenty-five years of his life, Jack has been a resident of Foxcroft. The quiet, strange town witnessed the silent bruises and concealed burns with watchful eyes, making note of his whereabouts whether he noticed or not. The strangeness of Foxcroft is his home, the guise under which he’s lived and experienced the most bizarre ordeals. From the numbness of his home, to the water tower, to Val’s convoluted obsession with the Deathless, it was always here in Foxcroft. He’s tied to this town, always has been–just now in different ways.

Sexuality: (include a brief explanation) – Pansexual; the need to feel skin, to feel something, anything, is too great. It’s overwhelming; a hunger, a craving to feel warmth and heat and human touch. It’s a deep, carnal obsession that blurs the meaning of gender or sex. A tangled, writhing, moaning mess of limbs and bodies is enough to satiate him; Jack finds himself drawn to the electricity of skin to skin, not the definitions or labels. It’s a craving, a desperate desire to simply feel something, anything–and sex is only one way to do so.

FC change: non-applicable

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How do you interpret this character’s personality? How will you portray them? Include two weaknesses and two strengths. (2+ paragraphs)

Addictive, impulsive, volatile; I interpret Jack’s personality to be one based off of the vice of wrath. The hollow emptiness he feels is a product of years of abuse, a convoluted and damaged result of a constant hunger that’s been locked away in him. The need to feel something, anything, manifests in a personality that falls prey to the dangers of addiction easily. Drugs and drinks are only the start, a physical and simplistic method for him to mask the deep emotional trauma he’s holding onto. He unwittingly clings to anything that seems to provide a sense of comfort; Val is only one example for him. She became something akin to “normalcy” for him. Constant interaction, going along with her to Church–it gave him something to hold onto and he automatically latched onto that only for it to blow up in his face in a way he couldn’t quite grasp. This just goes to show that he latches onto things quickly in the hopes of fulfilling the emptiness he constantly feels within himself.

Jack is PROTECTIVE, clear in the way he notices the changes in people like Cassidy. He wishes for the best of people even if he doesn’t originally tend to do so. He looks to watch over others–perhaps to fill the void within himself. He sees the good in others, such as Val, who gave him the hope of belief in something, anything, while Cassidy allowed him to see the purity in bright eyes. Jack is JUST, seeing the flaws in Val’s desire–no, obsession–with immortality. The murder of an innocent made him see the wrongness of it all–and it doesn’t sit well with him. He may despise himself, may fall into drugs and alcohol to make himself stop feeling–but he is not an inherently evil person. He recognizes the good, the bad, and the ugly–and he can tell when something is unfair. However, Jack is VOLATILE. His self-destructive tendencies manifest into addiction, obsession. The need to find something to exploit, to ruin, to destroy is the only way he knows how to cope. Abuse is never productive–and for Jack, the emptiness and hollowness of his upbringing lead him to need some sort of outlet. Destroying himself–and others–from the inside out is the easiest way of making himself feel something, anything. And on top of that, he is OBSESSIVE. No, he’s not a stalker. Not someone with a shrine tucked away in his room; he is someone who needs a beacon. Someone who relies on an emotional crutch to feel even the littlest of things. For him, that was Cassidy. She gave him some sort of belief, some sort of hope–even if it drags him under eventually and leads him to damage the things he holds dearest to him.

I would like to portray this character to be as flawed and damaged as he is while also showcasing the inherent good he possesses. He is not his demons, but he is who he is in spite of them. He has light in him, even if it is masked in the darkness and the gore of this entirely fucked-up cult that roped him into this mess. He is impulsive, brash, cold, numb–but he is good, able to love if given the chance. His self-destructive behavior makes it hard for him to connect and it may make him difficult to interact with, but he means well. I would like to portray him as this multi-faceted character that is neither good nor bad, but a nuanced mixture of all the shades of gray between the light and the dark.

How did this character react to the death of Hazel Abrams? Adam Foxcroft? (1+ paragraphs)

Confusion. Dazed, mind-boggling confusion. The fact that someone he thought would bring him hope would instead be at the root of all this throws him for a loop. He isn’t quite sure what to make of it all–he can feel the changes, after all. He can feel it in himself, see it in others; he can tell that Foxcroft is changing little by little–and it’s making him apprehensive. He can’t quite feel anything else–emotions are too little, too much. They don’t mean anything to him when the only thing in him is a nagging desire to black-out from everything around him. No, her death doesn’t personally affect him… but it does leave him with questions. Burning questions like fire at the tip of his tongue, threatening to drag him into a red-hot haze that could destroy him and the only thing he cares about. Adam’s death hardly phased him–not the way Hazel’s did. No, now he just knows. What that is, even he can’t quite tell. But it’s coming. A sickening, foreboding sense of confusion and omnipotent knowing mingling into one.

How do they see the town and its people? Think about the different groups of people and prejudices the town holds about them. (1+ paragraphs)

He never saw them to begin with; it was always himself. Drinking, snorting thin lines of ivory powder, shutting out anything and everything that came into contact with him. Up on the watertower, he finally interacted with someone from this town in a personal way–and since then, he’s begun to regret it. He sees that there is something very, very wrong. He sees that there are people who are obsessed with something he doesn’t believe in. He sees that the innocents are not safe. He sees that the pure and the good become corrupt. He sees the evil, the blackness–and he wants to shut it off. It drives him insane, how fucked up it all is. There’s no switch, no button–and he’s stuck with them. Tangled into a mess of a cult, stuck with people believing in something he can’t quite grasp. It’s too much. It’s unbearable. He sees nothing in them–after all, he’s nothing, himself–but he can feel that whatever it is that they’re doing, it’s just not right. And he also sees that he’s becoming one of them, slowly but surely, bringing in a whole new dimension of self-hatred.

For non-human characters: What does this character know about what they’ve become? Have they had any experiences that made them aware that weren’t exactly human? Elaborate. (2+ paragraphs)

Jack has always been unaware of what he is. The hunger, the cravings, the obsession with wanting something he could never quite put on a finger on–it was all a mystery. Foxcroft is a strange, twisted little place full of mystery and darkness that leaves everyone wondering. And Jack is no exception. He is beginning to sense the changes, the way his veins seem to crave that very specific something, the way the pain never seems to leave him–it’s all getting to be too much. It’s a sensation so foreign to him that it’s driven him to the point of near-madness. He’s a danger, a monster–he can sense it deep in his bones. Ever since the murders, the cold cases, the bodies showing up, the way he’s hurting Cassidy, the godforsaken Deathless… it’s only becoming more painfully obvious to him.

The emptiness hurts more than anything–because it feels like nothing at all. He felt it as a child, when his mother’s black eyes mirrored his own. Tangled in with a web of murderers that took the life of an innocent girl, he is beginning to see the darkness at the edge of this town. He sees the way he’s affecting the people closest to him. It’s an ugly thing to feel, self-loathing. But it’s there, stemming from the way his body is changing, the way he craves it. The way he’s hurting the one thing he vowed to never damage. He doesn’t quite know what it is just yet, but he can feel it deep in his bones.

Please include 1-2 possible plots your see for this character (1 paragraph brief explanation for each)

Discovering what he is ;; I would love to see Jack discover that his self-destructive behavior is damaging someone he cares about–Cassidy for example–because of his powers. I want him to expose himself and begin to hate who he is, what he is, and only feed into that volatile, self-destructing behavior because it would be so interesting to see how he copes. The damage he causes to the people around him would be enough to push him to a breaking point, surely, and it would be a very interesting thing to play out once more connections are established.

Falling in love (the right way) ;; I am a sucker for romance and nothing gets me more than the trope of the volatile monster finding peace in the gentleness of a lover–someone that can temper the raging storm within him and helping him see that pain isn’t something he has to bear alone. Someone that will help him unlearn the hatred. Someone that will help him tame what he is. It will be a long, slow, and angsty process–but ultimately, I want to see something healing. Of course, there will be plenty of moments in which he hurts and lashes out to tear the other down, but that’s a part of the very bumpy and treacherous ride.

WRITING SAMPLE

There are two options here, and you only need to complete one.

Para example 1 – https://zxiiden.tumblr.com/post/158238582247/zxcharie-h-it-wasnt-as-if-zaiden-hendricks

Para example 2 – https://zxiiden.tumblr.com/post/157661995287/illvssa-with-a-glass-of-champagne-grasped-in

EXTRA [THIS SECTION WILL NOT INFLUENCE ACCEPTANCE]

How would you feel about this character dying?: Honestly, I would be willing to cooperate if I felt as if the plot really needed it. If the character’s death is quintessential with progression, then I’m not opposed… as long as I’m allowed to apply for another character maybe ??

Why did you choose this character?: While I’m honestly a sucker for Jack Falahee, I have an incredibly deep fascination with the ‘hidden monster’ trope. Characters with these deep, monstrous flaws that cause them to be the victim of constant self-loathing are my kryptonite. As someone who often deals with crippling and often intrusive thoughts from anxiety and whatnot, I can personally relate to the feeling of not quite seeing yourself the same as others may see me–though of course not to such a severe extent! That would be worrisome. But I digress; I find characters like Jack fascinating. There are a lot of inner demons that are ripe for exploration, ready to be developed and fleshed out. The vices of a character like this make them believable, deep, and interesting. I really want to expand on this, see what makes him as broken as he is. The sinful nature of someone who can’t quite see himself as fully human is intriguing and dangerous.

Extras: (pinterest boards, mock blogs, aesthetic posts, drabbles, etc.)

Mock blog – https://jxckramscy.tumblr.com/

How did you find us?: I follow admin Janelle and clicked through and fell in love !!

[onewfantaesy]

I know absolutely nothing about DA and being an inquisitor or anything but I love the bard AU so tell me more about the AU please??? Or even like what is an inquisitor and what would that do to Taem? What would the others be doing in this version of the AU?

!!!! okay so

the inquisitor is basically the main character of dragon age inquisition, and like it’s the character that the player makes u know

but he’s like the main dude, the guy everyone goes to, the leader of the inquisition

he also has a glowing green mark on his hand from the fade, which is essentially sort of like hell?? kind of?? it’s hard to explain, but the fade is basically where demons and spirits live and humans, elves, other living creatures etc. are not supposed to be able to go into the fade, let alone come back out again

and basically for the bard inquisitor au, i would imagine that taemin was out on a spy kinda job for the marquis he works for just to find out what was happening at the conclave, which was a meeting between mages and templars and the chantry to settle the templar/mage relations

but then the conclave literally fucking blew up and the divine (which is basically the pope of the chantry) died and at first everyone blamed the inquisitor - taemin - because he was the only one who survived at the conclave

but then u know shit happens and he becomes “the herald of andraste” which basically means everyone thinks he’s a prophet or whatever for the religion because of the mark on his hand and they think that the woman they saw help him out of the fade was andraste

and taemin, meanwhile, the half-elf orlesian bard is just

“what the fuck are you talking about i’m not the herald of andraste” he’s so annoyed

but he doesn’t tell anyone that he’s half-elf at first because they already all hate him for being from orlais and for having the mark on his hand

and at the very beginning of the game, the inquisition has to go to val royeaux for whatever reason and i can just see taemin freaking out and just

“NO HELL NO I’M NOT GOING TO ORLAIS WITH MY HAND FUCKING GLOWING”

“but herald, you have to!!”

“MY HAND IS GLOWING. CHOP IT OFF AND THEN I’LL GO”

“that’s not-”

and basically it’s just a huge fight and taemin is so upset and he’s just

“i cannot go and face people i know with this bullshit on my hand”

and he’s just

“at least let me wear my mask”

“um, no”

“I’M GOING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOU TO LELIANA DAMMIT LET ME WEAR MY MASK IT’S SOCIAL SUICIDE IF I DON’T”

taemin’s so pissed that they’re making him go to val royeaux without his mask and he has to be BARE FACED IN PUBLIC

bullshit

he can practically FEEL kibum laughing at him from the shadows

this is such an embarrassment he is so embarrassed

and basically taemin is the reluctant inquisitor because he wants fucking nothing to do with this, at one point he even says that he doesn’t know if he even believes in andraste and the maker and some of his companions FLIP THE FUCK OUT

“BUT YOU’RE THE HERALD OF ANDRASTE”

“I AM NOT THE HERALD OF ANDRASTE I AM TAEMIN D’LUSSARD” because he definitely keeps the whole “i’m a marquis’ nephew” thing going on and he just “I’M THE NEPHEW OF MARQUIS D’LUSSARD, AND I DO NOT BELONG HERE”

and he also speaks with his like half-orlesian/half-elvish accent at first, and basically it’s an orlesian accent with a little bit of an elvish edge to it that most people can’t really place or link with elvish

but then after literally one day at haven (which is the base of the inquisition at first), he realizes that the orlesian accent freaks people out and so he manages to force it down into the usual ferelden-ish accent so people stop staring at him so much and running away from him

and it’s kind of a lot to explain to someone who doesn’t know what happens in the game, but there is one quest where they go to the winter palace for like a ball or whatever that the empress of orlais is hosting, and i can just imagine taemin going and FINALLY GETTING TO WEAR HIS ORLESIAN MASK and masks in orlais are generally linked to familial ties, so he’s got the d’Lussard mask and he wears it and he’s introduced as “Lord Inquisitor Taemin d’Lussard, nephew of Marquis d’Lussard of Orlais”

and basically, it does not end well

because his “uncle” is very pissed off that he’s been with the inquisition for so long and hasn’t come home to do his bard duties

and he and the marquis get into a bit of a tiff, and taemin by this point is very resigned to the fact that he’s the “herald of andraste” and that he’s the leader of the inquisition

and basically the marquis essentially “disowns” him by saying something along the lines of

“you are no longer my nephew” and he rips the mask off taemin’s face and smashes it under his foot

and taemin is very freaked out because if he’s pissed off the marquis he’s afraid of what could happen to his mother, who still works for him

but the people of orlais don’t really know taemin’s mother is actually a servant, in fact no one else in the inquisition knows that either

so taemin hurries over to him and just furiously whispers like

“and my mother? what will you do to my mother?”

and basically

taemin has to buy her off of him

“you can have her for 10,000 coin”

“done”

taemin doesn’t even hesitate. that’s nearly all of the inquisition’s funds, but his mother is priceless. he doesn’t even try to barter for a lower price.

“i want her back before we lave back for skyhold” which is the new headquarters for the inquisition and it’s basically a giant castle

“i get my coin, you get your mother”

and so like a couple days later, an elven woman shows up at skyhold

and taemin just

hurries over to her

and he whispers “mamae” and hugs her tightly and just asks if she’s alright

and then he takes her into the castle to get her away from where everyone is whispering about them and a few of the other inquisition members ask who she is, what he’s doing with her, why is he taking her up to his quarters

and he just

“she’s my mother” and he’s so pissed and he’s like crying and he just slams the door to his quarters behind him and takes her up to his quarters which are super nice btw very well decorated very big bed

and he ends up pretty much exploding at like one of the companions or advisors, or actually probably all of them

“i was a servant, okay? i was never his nephew, i’ve been his servant since i was three-years-old! he liked me, so he sent me to school and gave me his name and told everyone i was his sister’s son. i went into bard training when i was 14, and i’ve been working for him ever since. so just stop talking about it behind my back, because now you have the truth, so just leave me alone!” and he just explodes and he’s so upset

and someone asks him how he could be a servant if he’s human, because everyone knows that only elves are servants

and he just lets out a breathless laugh and just

“i’m half-elf. my mother is an elf. my father was an orlesian duke before i killed him. so leave me alone” and he goes and locks himself in his quarters for a few days until his mother convinces him to go talk with his companions

and maybe one of the advisors, josephine or cullen maybe, go up and just find taemin on his bed with his mother carding her fingers through his hair

and it’s just very sad for a while until taemin gets his spunk back you know