#i feel so bad about that since it kinda drove us apart

[hoshigray]

Hi hi LOVEEE YOUR WORKK

The way you write kinda touches my heart, and tingles my brain a little too

Especially your jjk fics!!!

Do you mind if I request a kind of angst smut fic of reader leaving home to blow off some steam after having a heated argument with any JJK man and he comes out to find her and resolve 😼😼🤭 it in the car?

Thank you for reading thisss 🫶

𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: awww, ty for liking my stuff!! i was supposed to release a sugu fic today (but didn't, yikes, lmao), so imma make this sugu~

⊹ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Geto x afab/fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - angst + reconciliation - sex in a public area; car out in the neighborhood - fingering (f! receiving) - clitoral play (swiping and licking) - feedbag position - oral (f! receiving) - pet names (angel, baby, pretty thing, my love, pumpkin, sweetheart) - implied insertion at the end - mention of spit.

⊹ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.2k

“…”

“Y/n, what are you doing?.”

“You can’t see I’m taking a walk?”

“Please just get inside the car.”

“Leave me alone, Geto!”

Geto winces at the use of his family name. Oh fuck, they really are mad at me…

You were walking on the pavement, your anger exhibited through your feet, stomping as you traveled down the concrete floor in the supposed quiet neighborhood. Unfortunately, you weren’t alone; your boyfriend drove slowly to match your speed and speak with you. 

Why were you angry? Why don’t you ask the fucking asshat following you in that car of his? The two of you had a terrible argument not too long ago, and you’re sure the neighbors of your complex must’ve heard the audible insults and blows you two threw at each other for almost an hour. You hadn’t expected things to be blown out of proportion – it’s not unusual for people in relationships to argue. However, if your partner insidiously says something that he knows will tip you off the scales, are you not inclined to exit the apartment to blow off some steam before you choke him to death and have a murder charge on your record?

“Baby, c’mon, you can’t just keep walking on the sidewalk like this.”

So here you are, out for an evening stroll meant to calm you down, yet it’s doing the opposite since a certain someone is trailing alongside you. 

You suck your teeth, “Geto, go home! Why are you even following me?”

The tall black-haired man ducks down for you to see him from the driver’s window. “Because I feel bad!”

“Good!” You bark. “Good that you feel bad; feel nothing but bad, so just leave me be.”

“You know I can’t do that; look how dark out it’s getting!” It was around nine in the evening. The sun had just finished setting, so its shine was dwindling, and the twilight was mere minutes away from transitioning to dusk. “You can’t be walking out alone; just get in the car.”

“Hmph, absolutely not,” you can feel the crease of your furrowed brows worsening. “I’m heading to get homemade ice cream from that place I like; it’s the only thing that can put my mind at ease right now, and seeing your face and hearing your voice isn’t doing anything good for my mood right now.” 

The flat line of Geto’s lips is pressed harder, guilt swelling in the pitch of his gut like no other. “…I’ll take you to the place. Just hop in.”

“I’d rather get shot.” Apparently, your boyfriend doesn’t get the ‘don’t want to hear or see you’ part you stressed about literally seconds ago.

“That’s what I don’t want! Do you have any idea how long the walk is?”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m very aware, and you’re slowing me down with all this chat.”

“Yeah, but you won’t get to that place until around ten o’clock,” he argues. And then that’s another hour and a half walking back; you’d probably be back home by midnight!” 

You couldn’t lie; hearing him be so concerned about you and your safety made you feel a little warm from the early summer breeze touching the exposed skin of the halter top. However, a part of your stubbornness refused to stand down. And yet the more you looked towards you, the further it felt like you’d reach your destination. He’s right; you wouldn’t make it home in time. Plus, it’s getting darker by the second, the comforting blue hue of the sky being absorbed by the bright, dominant moon. 

Once you come to an abrupt stop, Geto nearly forgets to hit the brakes, and your figure stands motionless and silent. Then, you move towards the door behind the driver’s side, opening the door to sit in the backseat. You beat Geto to the punch, breaking the silence, “Don’t talk, just drive.”

A soft, relieved sigh leaves the onyx-headed man, but he notices you avoiding the rearview mirror, where purple eyes flicker to try to see you. “…Is this really necessary?”

“What is?”

“You sitting in the backseat?” 

“What does it matter to you? I’m in the car, aren’t I?”

“What the hell am I, you Uber? Get in the front.”

“No. You said you’d drive me, so do that, and don’t make me angrier than I already am.” 

You thought you won the round when you didn’t hear a remark from your companion. Yet, that wasn’t the case because the man opened and closed his door, walked around the car to open the door to the other side of the backseat, and it takes everything in your power not to pop a vessel when he takes a seat. “You cannot be serious.”

“I’m very serious,” he closes the door. 

“Are you deaf? I said I don’t wanna talk to you.”

“And are you blind; can’t you see me trying to make this work—“

“Work?” Oh, how you wanted to burn this car up. “You should’ve thought about that when you said what you said back there.” You didn’t know if it was right to say that—That sounded mean, was it mean?—yet it came from a place of hurt that he caused.

Your words strike deep into Geto, but he still speaks his mind. “Y/n, please…Can you at least look at me?” You don’t move a muscle. “I’m your boyfriend, so can you at least look at my face and not push me—“

“Yeah, you are my boyfriend,” malice in your tone. “And you’re doing a pretty terrible job as of today.”

“Y/n—“

“God!” Now, you finally turn to him with vexation scorching your pupils. “I just want to be left alone–away from you, alright! What part of that don’t you get?! Why can’t you leave me alone?”

“Because I’m sorry!”

Your lips nearly quiver at the snap of those three words, eyes on the brink of shedding tears. Nonetheless, your face returns to the front. “Bullshit…H-Hey, let go!”

“I told you, I’m being very serious!” Geto brings you in for an embrace, and your resistance is hushed down as he keeps talking. “Look, I…I’m sorry. What I said back there…I didn’t mean for it to hurt you like it did, baby. You said something before that made me angry and…” his hold on you gets tighter; you notice even if you’re busy hearing every word from his mouth. “I didn’t think what I said would make you leave, and I got scared.” His mellow voice delves into a hushed tone. “So fucking scared…I’m sorry, Y/n. Just…don’t leave me out like that, okay…”

And with that, the remnant of your irritation ceased. The hotness of your blood subsides to a calm flow, your body easing into the hug as his apology repeats in your mind. You couldn’t think about your argument before; you just can’t, not with an apology like this when you can feel and hear him be genuine and vulnerable. You wanted to be angry with him–you tried– but the more you forced the outrage, the more you kept burrowing your head into his chest and your hands wrapped around his slim figure. 

“You’re such a dick, do you know that?” Doing everything you can not to cry since his face is nestled in the crook of your neck. “And…I’m sorry for saying stuff that made you mad at me, too.”

“Guess we’re both dicks, huh.” A joke meant to make you giggle, but he doesn’t sense the jerk of your shoulders. “Hey, I’m sorry. You forgive me?”

“Sure,” you murmur. “After you get me that ice cream.” Your jest made him chuckle instead.

“Mmm, on it,” your breath stops at the kiss on your temple. “But, before that,” he lifts his head, violet eyes examining your expression. “Don’t you think I should also have a little something?”

His question confuses you until you feel the grasp of his hand sneak inside your jeans, and the bare flesh of your ass meets the mild cold of his fingertips. “Suguru, what are you—“

“Compensation,” he kisses your neck, and you gasp at another rough knead on your asscheek. 

“Oh, that’s bull…Mmm.”

“Oh? So you can have ice cream to forgive me, but I can’t have anything?” The hand is then lifted out to move to the front, his gingers pressing on the part of your panties that cover your groin. “Well, aren’t you selfish.”

You couldn’t question his logic with his digits now motioning up and down your concealed cunt, your legs spreading apart as Geto’s forearm pushed them aside for easier access. “Hahhh, Sugu…Mmmnn, not here…”

“Mmm? Why not?” He says with faux shock, gently having you lay on your back as he spreads your legs further. His hand still fingers your underwear, only fueling a wet spot to protrude more and more. “It’s dark out, and no one’s driving around here.”

“That’s not—Mmmm!” A thumb presses down on your clit; how cruel to sneak that attack on you. “Ohh, fuck…”

Geto kisses you, gradually unraveling your erotic senses with every peck he places on your lips with his soft ones. And his lips don’t rest there, laying kisses to your chin, your collarbone, and lifting your shirt to expose your abdomen for him to kiss and suck the skin of your tummy and navel. All the while, his fore and middle fingers keep pushing into your chasm as your hips buck subtly.

Another minute of pleasing you with his hand goes by, your wetness becoming more and more evident as his digits did the work in having you wet for him. “Look at you,” he’d say cooly. “Making a mess, such a dirty, pretty thing you are.”

“Sugu, stop, you’re making me—Oooh…” he slips his middle finger inside your panties to insert you. And then, his thumb dances around your clitoris, evoking the shaky moans to leave you. “Ahhh! Noo, don’t move like…”

A snicker leaves his lips. “What? You like it when I tease you like this, don’t you, pumpkin?” He pushes your underwear out of the way and continues to finger you. “You’re gripping on my finger like crazy.”

“Shhtoop, your fingers,” your hand finds his wrist yet does nothing to stop him. “If you keep going, I-I’ll…Hooohh…”Your eyelids suddenly feel heavy, closing them to conceal your vision. However, that only enhances the use of your other senses, indulging in the sense of touch as Geto plays with your pussy. 

Even if you didn’t finish your sentence, Geto takes the initiative and removes his hand to lick the fingers. “Oh, my love,” he coos while rolling up your underwear to stay on your inner leg after removing your jeans. In the meantime, the man brings your hips up and rests your legs on his shoulders. “That’s exactly what I want from you…”

Your eyes snap open at the contact of something wet yet firm, sliding across your wet folds, your body jolting at the sensation of it nestling between your labia. And the flick of his tongue on your clit nearly has you choke. “Suguu, no, don’t—Ahaann!”

Any attempts to squirm out of his hold don’t seem manageable now that you two are in the backseat of the car; his hands firmly keep you stable and still as his face ventures closer to your genitalia. Tiny moans get louder and louder with every lick of his tongue cleaning your slit of your essence; ironic as more of your fluids seep out as he does so.

Your hand grabs hold of tuffs of his raven hair, but that only eggs him on to keep going. Pushing his tongue into your entrance, he fucks you with the wet muscle and has your body writhe and crying for him. As the space gets hotter, you wouldn’t be surprised to find fog starting to cloud the windows. But that would probably be for the best as you wouldn’t want people on this road to know what you two were doing, nor hear the squelches from the commotion.

“Ohhhshit, shiiiit,” your head pounding like crazy, you couldn’t think straight, and the walls of your cunt keep clamping onto the tongue that swirls around and has you wailing. “Ooooh,hoooh, Sugu’, I’m gonna—It’s coming…! I’m…Aiishhh!”

“Go ahead, angel,” he says before licking your clit erratically, using his middle finger to fuck your release out. “Let it out for me, baby.”

With how fast he’s sucking and licking your delicate bud and his digit rubbing on your velvety texture, how can you not come? You scream aloud at the wave that crashes on your body, your hips jerking on their own as the trembles of your orgasm rock your entire frame.

Geto keeps you steady, taking in your release with his mouth. He groans at the taste of you on his tongue, his fingers kneading your waist as if to relax your body for him as you ride out your high because of him. Quivering legs get less apparent with every buck, and once your breathing returns to an average pace, he places you back down. 

“Good job, sweetie,” he bends to kiss your cheek as he unbuckles his pants to expose his briefs that harbor a tent. “You tasted too good to resist; wanna feel you all on me…”

“You…” you grab for his cheek to pinch. “I better get my ice cream tonight, Geto Suguru.”

Your soft threat has him chuckling. “Will do, baby,” and you succumb to a kiss.

If the windows hadn’t fogged up already, they sure were going to now.

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs and comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ✩ dividers by @/benkeibear.

[notthatmultifandomwhore]

Hugh surprises you (NSFW/18+)

Warnings: Vibrator used, Smut w/ plot, Drinking, voyeurism (kinda), no protection (wrap it before you tap it), use of nicknames (princess, babygirl)

Hugh and I have been seeing each other for a couple of months now while he's doing press for his new movie, "Deadpool and Wolverine". He's been working non-stop and has been doing countless interviews to promote the movie with with co-worker and best friend, Ryan. I haven't really gotten the chance to see him or talked to him because of how busy he is. And even though I havent been together long, I really miss him.

I was at home, relaxing after a long week of working and errands. I was spending some time in your bedroom late at night when you start thinking about Hugh. I thought about our first date, where he took me to dinner to a really nice place. I thought about how kind he was on his first date and how handsome he was. I remember I was so nervous because of how attractive he was. He wore a blue, tight button down shirt that showed off his muscles with denim jeans that complimented his body so well. Next thing I know, I start thinking about what happened after dinner. 

We drank a little too much wine, so he arranged for a car to bring us to his house, with my consent of course. When we got to his house, he pulled me in close and kissed me. He had my arms wrapped around my waist and gently pushed me against the back of the door. His lips traveled from my lips down my jaw to my neck as he left soft kisses. Once he got close to my ear, he whispered, "I've been wanting to do that all night."

As I continue to think about  our first date, I start feeling a familiar heat between my thighs. I get into my bed and I turn off the lights so I can continue to get in the mood. I reach into my bedside table drawer to find a bullet vibrator that I got from a friend's bachelorette party. I never thought I'd use it, but desperate time call for desperate measures. I strip down to nothing but a big t-shirt I had around, and turn it on. As I start to slowly press it against my clit, I continue to think about Hugh. He has such a nice figure, and he always knew to pleasure me. Even though we only slept together a couple times, each time had me weak for days. 

As I continue to think dirty thoughts about him, I start feeling a familiar pit in my stomach, and I get too distracted to the point where I don't hear my front door open and close. 

(Switch to 3rd Person POV)

Hugh walks in to the apartment, wanting to surprise his lovely girlfriend. He quietly sets down his luggage from his trip, thinking your asleep and not wanting to wake you up. As he walks closer to your bedroom, he stops dead in his tracks as he hears you moan and whimper. He immediately got concerned because he felt so bad for being away for so long, and thought that maybe you weren't alone in the room.

So he quickly, but quietly, started picking up his luggage again to leave, but as he was about to leave, he heard you moaning his name. And as much as it could've been a coincidence, he became curious. So he put all of his stuff back down, and come up to the bedroom door to find it cracked open. When he looked though the crack in the door, his throat become dry at the sight in front of him. There you were, pleasuring yourself to the thought of him. He was shocked to see you like this, but then he started thinking about your first date and how wild you were while he was thrusting into you. He found his pants getting tighter and his knees feeling weaker as he realized that you don't know that he's watching you. And the thought of that drove Hugh wild. 

As he kept watching you, he started palming himself through his pants. You moaned his name again, and that's when he couldn't take it anymore.

(Switch to 1st POV) 

I feel the pit in my stomach grow bigger, and the noises I make become more desperate. And while I keep going, I begin to feel like I'm not alone. But I brush the feeling off since I was so close. 

Then that's when I hear him.

"That's it babygirl. Just like that."

I jump and grab the covers as I open my eyes to see Hugh standing there. As much as I was shocked that he was there, I was in so much heat that I needed him right then and there. So I got out of bed and grabbed him by the shirt and started kissing him. By the way his arms wrapped around me, I knew he felt the same hunger. He wrapped my legs around his waist and carries me to the bed. A few seconds later, he stopped kissing me.

"As much as I want to say hi and ask how you've been, I really need to feel you on my cock." He says as he takes off his shirt. I then follow his lead and take off my shirt, leaving me in nothing. 

(Switch to 3rd person POV)

He takes a few seconds to admire the view in front him, and then returns to kissing you. His lips feel so soft and warm against your skin, as they travel down your neck, down your stomach, and he goes between your legs. He lifts your legs on top of his shoulders, and wraps his arms around your thighs so you can move around as much. He then slowly kisses your thighs and travels down until he gets to your wet center. He licks as the way around, as you place your hands in your hair and pull a little.

"Fuuccck princess, you really missed me, huh?" He says in-between licks.

"Y-y-yes!" You managed to say as he continues to attack your clit.

"Fuck, I need you so bad princess." He stops what he's doing and takes of his pants and boxers, making his cock spring up while it throbs and aches for attention. He then gets in top of you, and slowly, yet some what aggressively puts it in, making you both make the most pornographic moans ever. He then thrusts in you at a somewhat fast pace, wanting to make up for lost time but not wanting to hurt you. As he's pounding into you, he places both his hands in yours and kisses you so passionately.

"Fuck, I had millions of women and men trying to throw themselves these past couple weeks, but all I think about was you." He says as he goes a little harder, hitting spots that make your eyes to the back of your head. He kisses down your jaw and makes small marks on your neck as you feel yourself getting close. It also like he sensed you feeling close .

"Oh fuck, cum for me princess."

You both reach your highs as you both moan and hold each other close. You both sit there for a few seconds to collect yourselfs, and as you open your eyes, you see him admiring you with a twinkle in his eyes.

"God, I missed you, princess."

A/N: Y'all, this is my first smut (we don't count the One Direction smut from 2011) so please let me know if y'all like this! I will try to write more if you do ❤️

[brooooswriting]

how would sam react to their s/o being mad at her, and her not knowing what she did. just curious lol

Whyyyy?

Sam carpenter x reader

This is pretty short but still kinda cute ig

Sam was confused, well actually that was an understatement. You hadn’t talked to her since yesterday evening, you went to your apartment with a small bye and since then you hadn’t answered her calls or texts. You disappeared as soon as she entered, breaking your conversation with Quinn and Tara. She only knew that you were fine because you didn’t answer Tara’s messages. It wasn’t hard to figure out that you were mad, she just didn’t know why. You were fine one moment and the next one you just left, it was confusing.

The whole day while Sam was at work she checked her phone and spammed yours with even more texts, hoping that you’d respond to at least one of them. But you didn’t. So she did the only thing she could think of, drive by your apartment. She used the key you gave her a couple of weeks ago to let herself in, it was already late.

But before she drove to your apartment she decided to stop at a small store where she got you some flowers, chocolate, a stuffed animal and a heating pad. There where two options:

1. She fucked up and that’s why you were mad

2. You were on your period

She decided to get you your favorite things either way, if you had your period you’d be happy about the gift and talk to her again and if she did something wrong she could use those things to bribe you into telling her what she did wrong so she could fix it. She didn’t want to apologize through material things without knowing what she did wrong.

The moment you heard your door open you freaked and grabbed the bat that sat next to you bed, Sam made you keep it there. You carefully walked out with the bat to see Sam, “oh you” you mumbled and sank the bat. “Yeah me, I brought you some stuff” she held the flowers tight in her hand. “Keep ‘em or put em on the counter” you mumbled walking back to the bedroom, causing Sam to groan. “Can you please talk to me? Let me know what I did wrong so I can fix it” she called out as she followed you into your bedroom. There she got here answer, there was chocolate wrappers everywhere, your bed was a mess and a pack of period articles next to your bed. Plus, you were laying in bed holding your stomach.

“Oh honey, is it your time?” She mumbled as she laid behind you in bed, her hand rubbing soothing circles on your stomach. You only grumbled in response, “does is hurt bad?” She asked again only receiving a grumble. She went and got you some pain medicine, water, chocolate and the stuffed animal she got you. “Now wanna tell me what I did wrong?” Her voice made you melt, just like the way her arms wrapped around your middle to pull you closer. “You didn’t text me” you answered in a shushed voice, after a small what it suddenly clicked. She was supposed to text or call you when she had her break at work but she didn’t. “Oh baby, I’m sorry” she started as she pulled you even closer placing a kiss on your neck. “Maggi…” as soon as you heard that name you grumbled again which made her laugh a bit, “she didn’t come to work and she didn’t tell anybody so I couldn’t take a break. Im sorry I didn’t call”

It took a second before you turned around and hugged her waist, hurrying your face in her neck which confused her. “Im sorry” you mumbled this time, confusing her for a moment, “Im just very moody and I overreacted” you continued making her coo. “It’s alright. If it hurt your feelings, it hurt your feelings and I’m sorry I caused it. Now what are we thinking about ice cream?” You immediately sat up with a grin causing her to laugh too. “Alright, I’ll be back real quick” she was about to stand up when you threw yourself at her which made her fall back on the bed again. You pressed a couple of kisses against her lips making her smile.

About 15 min late she came back with ice cream and a heating pad. “Gosh I love you” you mumbled as you devoured the ice cream. When you were done eating Sam quickly pulled you on top of her, kissing your head. “Next time, just tell me when you’re moody alright? I could have brought ice cream directly” she joked before kissing you one last time.

[v4mp-reads]

can you please do an story (fluff only) with Damian Priest X Fem Reader (both have an crush on each other rhea is the only one who knows but don't tell them about the shared feelings), where Reader is an childhood friend of Rhea and also an Wrestler in WWE, Rhea notice that Reader is admiring Damian all the time and Rhea planes to go out with All of the Judgment Day and reader to celebrate Judgment Days first Anniversary in a local bar/club and reader and Damian gets all flirty and touchy all night an later ending up confessing and share an long kiss where they get caught by rhea and the rest by rhea saying "took you idiots long enough to be on that point"

Entwined hearts

Not my gif^

Damian priest x fem! Reader fluff (a little sad but not much)

Warnings: mention of alcohol,other than that bad spelling and grammar(im dyslexic)

Word count: 1.8k

Ty for the request!

Please if you like this feel free to send another

Y/ns pov

I look around the quite locker room waiting on judgment day to finish their promo, my heart beat picks up when none other than damian priest starts talking. I met him about six months ago when Rhea invited me to one of her partys, as i stayed close to her, cause i didnt know many people as i was a beginning wrestler he walked up to us and began talking to me. He was really sweet to me, staying with me when rhea walked off to another group of people, we stayed the whole night talking to each other. About how hes Secretly a cat person, how hes not a big fan of Rheas partys, however talking with me was one of the best experience hes had at one of said partys. After that we stayed in touch. From hanging out at the gym to going out to dinner with the rest of the judgment day, as the time we spent together grows so did my feelings for him, after I lost my match last week I was clearly upset and angry and he sat with me comforting me instead of going out to get drinks with the rest of the judgment day. And of course I had to tell Rhea about this, how could I not she’s been my best friend since we started school. She walked back into the locker room “Rhea he looked so good out there!” I basically yelled out. “Y/n, you need to tell him. This little crush of yours is getting out of hand, you gush over him every time you see him you be drooling over him.” She said. I knew she was right I was obsessed with him not in a bad why, I think. “Why would he like me tho Rhea, he has other girls falling on their knees for him” I tried to get her to understand why I haven’t said anything “if you only knew” Rhea mumbled out. I didn’t hear all of what she said. “What do you say?” I asked, “nothing nothing, you want to get drinks with me and the boys tonight maybe you could get some alone time with Señor money in the bank.” She joked causing me to blush. “Yeah I’ll go what time?” I asked “after the show, we are about to head out so we have time to get ready I know you drove yourself. So maybe just maybe someone will ride with you?” She said. “I hate you..” just as I said that the rest of the judgment day walked in. “What you two in here talking bout?” Finn said falling on the couch. “Just how y/n didn’t want to drive herself back to the hotel, and I know we came together so I was wondering if someon-” she was cut off by Damian “I’ll do it!..I mean I don’t mind if you don’t mind y/n” he said the last part kinda embarrassed rubbing the back of his neck. “I’d like that..I need to shower. So we should probably go..” I said trying to hide the child like smile on my face. “Yeah let me just grab a change of clothes, you mind if I shower in your room, our room are like 7 floors apart and the elevator is broken” he said laughing at the end “I don’t mind” I said walking out the locker room shooting rhea a almost scared look

We make our way to my car he asked for my keys, that I gladly hand to him as I’m not to fond of driving. He walked a bit in front of me and opened the passenger door for me “here you go y/n” I blush a bit, no one has ever opened the door for me “thank you Damien” I smiled as he closed the door getting into the driver side. I smile softly as we make our way to the arena, and to the hotel “I’m glad you are coming for drinks tonight y/n” he smiled glancing at me, “me to, I probably won’t drink tonight, tho” I told him “why not y/n- don’t be like that?” I shook my head “I might” he smiled as we drove back to the hotel. It was mostly silent, a pleasant silence.

When we got back to the hotel we hurried upstairs “I get the shower first!” I yelled as we made our way up, pushing Damien out my way softly “y/n!” He picked me up, putting me behind him so that now he was in front of me. He got to the room before me even though he still had to wait because I had the room key. “Ha I got the key I’ll still get in first” we walked in and I walked over to my stuff grabbing my stuff to shower. “I’ll be quick I promise” I told him running to the shower “alright” he sat on the couch as I walked into the bathroom. I quickly undressed and got in the shower. I washed my hair then my body, then taking a quick moment to wash off the stress from the day behind me. I wrapped the towel around me and walked out the bathroom. “Hurry hurry” I told him. He looked at me and blushed. “Oh..okay yeah.” He rushed into the bathroom to shower

As he got out the shower I finally finished getting dressed. I put on a black bralette with a mesh shirt over, with a black pencil skirt some tights and combat boots. I look around the room not being able to find my jacket. “Damnit” I continue to look around the room under the bed in random drawers. “Y/n, doll? What are you looking for” he said as he come out the bathroom. “I can’t find my jacket. I need it to look good” I flopped on the bed “y/n you don’t need a jacket to look good, but you can wear mine” I look at him a soft smile on my face “are you sure?” I asked softly “of course doll.” The way he spoke to me made me think he feels the same way. But i don’t know. I just grabbed the jacket he gave me and put it on fixing up my hair a makeup. “You ready to go?” I asked as I watched him finish putting his hair. “Mhmm I’m ready, you want me to drive?” He asked. “Please, not really in the mood for driving tonight” I said softly. “ gotcha” he grabbed the keys and we made our way to the bar.

As we got to the bar, we walked in together tho I walked off to find Rhea, of course she was in the at the bar with dom, I get over to her, she smiled at me “the normal?” The bartender said softly, and we were here a lot “yes please” I say softly handing him a 5 for the drink, I didn’t want to start a tab tonight. “Here you go,” he handed me my drink and I walked off to go find Damian, but he was sitting at a table with another girl..one I’ve seen before but I couldn’t put my name on it she had her hand tracing his arm tattoos. Watching this broke my heart. My eyes instantly teared up as I went back to the bar to get me something stronger. After about 3 more drinks, it really set in, my mind was racing, I have always been light weight when it came to drinking. So I decided to go sit in the corner. Jd came and sat beside of me, he didn’t really talk much he was to much into watching his girlfriend dance a few feet away from us. I sat with my head against the wall looking around. My eye land on the one person I didn’t want them to at the time. Damien. He looked at me with almost relief before walking over and pushing jd out of the way.

“Y/n, there you are, I’ve been looking for you for a minute now, are you okay?.” He looked concerned. At that moment I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh in his face or cry..I just wanted it all to be over, my emotions completely taken over by the alcohol, tears threaten to spill from my eyes. “Y/n, hey talk to me..why are you crying?” He brought his hand up to my face softly caressing my cheek, I looked at him before pulling my face away from his hand. “Is this a game..some shitty game..” I mumbled out. “What do you mean a game?” He said softly not trying to upset me even more “you..me..I don’t get it..you basically flirt with me all day, all day, I let you drive me here, and what do you do on the way here flirt with me more, but what..now that we are here you are with some other girl, letting her touch you and shit!” I was crying at this point trying not to make eye contact with him, I look up to see tears forming in his eyes “y/n please don’t cry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like this, I only started talking to her to get my mind off you, but I couldn’t, all I could think about was I wish this girl would shut up, because you,you are stuck in my head and I can’t get you out” I look at him, my tears of pain slowly shifting to tears of happiness. “I think of you..every single night y/n, I think about you when I win my matches” he softly grabs my hands “I look forward to any chance of being with you..y/n I’m in love with you” he said softly, “I have been since that day at Rheas party” I could only look at him, I was stunned. I was so happy, my actions spoke before my mind could think and I pulled him into a hug “I love you too Damian, since the day we met” I clung on to him like my life depended on it, in that moment it felt like it was only us, I would never expected to be confessed to, in the back corner of some random bar, but honestly I could not wish for anything better. He pulled away after a few minutes, our eyes meeting “y/n l/n, for six months you have been the best person in my life, I want that forever, will you please be my girlfriend?” He asked “yes yess yes, a million times yes” before I could think about anything else I kissed him, it felt like fireworks where going off around us.

“It’s about damn time..” I look up to see Rhea standing in front of us “you knew this whole time” both me and Damian said at the same time, “of course I did” she said before walking off. Both of us laughed before sharing another kiss.

Thank you for reading,

Xoxo v4mp-

[persephonememes]

* (  GOOD RIDDANCE BY GRACIE ABRAMS /  SENTENCE PROMPTS.

These may have been edited for clarity or length or to better apply for roleplaying.

❛ i was bored out my mind ❜

❛ you're the worst of my crimes ❜

❛ i never was the best to you ❜

❛ i used to lie to your face twenty times in a day ❜

❛ it was my little strange addiction ❜

❛ i destroyed every silver lining you had in your head ❜

❛ we were too different ❜

❛ you were so sensitive ❜

❛ now i feel terrible about how i handled it ❜

❛ now i bet you resent all of me ❜

❛ i don't forget all of my fault in this ❜

❛ i deserve it though ❜

❛ you were there all the time ❜

❛ how am i supposed to put that gently? ❜

❛ down the road you will love me until you resent me ❜

❛ what if i'm not worth the time and breath i know you're saving? ❜

❛ the whole facade seemed to fall apart ❜

❛ part of me wants to walk away till you really listen ❜

❛ i hate to look at your face and know that we're feeling different ❜

❛ cause part of me wants you back, but i know it won't work like that, huh? ❜

❛ why won't you try moving on for once? ❜

❛ i know we cut all the ties but you're never really leaving ❜

❛ i'm thinking everything you wish i wasn't ❜

❛ the call was tough but you're better off ❜

❛ so won't you stop holding out for me when i don't want it ❜

❛ won't you stay for a while ❜

❛ i wish that you'd never leave ❜

❛ i know i know better ❜

❛ if you asked me to run away i'd go easily ❜

❛ i'm codependent but trying hard not to be ❜

❛ do you think we could talk? ❜

❛ yes, i know that he's my ex. but can't two people reconnect? ❜

❛ i'll always choose you ❜

❛ where do we go now? ❜

❛ there's nothing left here ❜

❛ i wasted my breath when i tried to console you, didn't i? ❜

❛ i know that i should hate you ❜

❛ i pulled the knife out my back, it was right where you left it ❜

❛ i just drank something strong to try to forget, but it wasn't right ❜

❛ i almost crashed my car ❜

❛ all i ever think about is where the hell you even are ❜

❛ i swear to god i'd kill you if i loved you less hard ❜

❛ after all of this time, i still get disappointed ❜

❛ it's kinda funny when it goes from all to nothing ❜

❛ you have to laugh before you start to cry ❜

❛ now i stop myself from holding on to something that makes me feel a little less alive ❜

❛ i see through you ❜

❛ where did you go? ❜

❛ why'd it feel louder when all of it went unspoken? ❜

❛ all i can do is hope that this will go away ❜

❛ she doesn't know i'd let her ruin all my days ❜

❛ i'm just scared of that commitment ❜

❛ i really think sometimes there's something that i'm missing ❜

❛ i should probably go back home ❜

❛ i hope i wake up invisible ❜

❛ i guess i'm just difficult ❜

❛ you were everything to me ❜

❛ i've been drinking and staying up too late reliving bad decisions ❜

❛ what am i supposed to do when you used to be my lifeline? ❜

❛ i've counted all the days since you walked away ❜

❛ i never could've seen you coming ❜

❛ i think you're everything i've wanted ❜

❛ you make me really nervous ❜

❛ i've never felt this close to someone ❜

❛ what if you're my weakness? ❜

❛ i feel homesick ❜

❛ i'll say whatever you want, but i've become such a liar ❜

❛ i used to follow my gut, but now i'm just getting higher ❜

❛ i've been thinking way too loud ❜

❛ i wish that i could block me out ❜

❛ i think i'm burning alive, but nobody sees the fire ❜

❛ 'cause when i open my mouth, i seem to be stuck in silence ❜

❛ i thought of leaving tonight, but i couldn't drive this tired ❜

❛ plus after all of this time, i should be a pretty crier ❜

❛ in my head, i make a mess of it ❜

❛ i'm getting tired of feeling delicate ❜

❛ i used to try, but nothing's helping it ❜

❛ it's not their fault, but i've found that none of my friends will call me ❜

❛ every voice in my head is trying its best to haunt me ❜

❛ i should be cool but i panic ❜

❛ words seem to cut so much deeper right to the bone ❜

❛ it's a sort of funny quiet feeling ❜

❛ lately i don't know what to believe in ❜

❛ i drove 100 miles an hour to forget you ❜

❛  how'd you walk away so easy? ❜

❛ you won't even look at me ❜

❛ i hate the fact that i miss you around ❜

❛ why's it feel like you don't even know me? ❜

❛ how are you looking at me like a stranger? ❜

❛ i took up walking to turn it all off ❜

❛ it doesn't feel bearable guess i thought when i left it would all stop ❜

❛ did i fall out of line when i called you? ❜

❛ when i told you i'm fine you were lied to ❜

❛ how could i think that all that i gave you was enough? ❜

❛ cause every time i get too close i just go mess it up ❜

❛ i heard that you're happier ❜

❛ i hope that you're sleeping well, knowing i'm not ❜

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC REVIEW: The Beast Takes a Bride by Julie Anne Long

4.5/5. Releases 10/22/2024.

The Vibes:

—Beauty and the Beast (most obvi)

—weapon-grade pining

—big stern man meets lowkey bratty woman (his wife)

—covert boning (like... everyone is covertly boning in this book)

Heat Index: 7/10

The Basics:

Alexandra Brightwall should be relieved when her husband, war hero Magnus, bails her out of prison. The problem? They haven't seen each other for five years. Not since the day after their wedding, actually. Stern and cool, Magnus knows their marriage was a huge mistake, so he has a proposal. He's on the verge of being created an earl; he just needs to present a good face until that happens. As long as Alexandra helps him put on the facade of a harmonious relationship, he's happy to give her a life of luxury... far from him. Needless to say, this is a lot easier said than done.

The Review:

Julie Anne Long is always funny; but the best kind of Julie Anne Long also punches you in the gut. This? Does just that. In fact, I think it's my third-favorite JAL, after What I Did for a Duke and After Dark with the Duke. It kind of gave me everything!

The thing I've struggled with when reading a lot of recent historical romances is that everyone is very... nice. Sedate, even. They don't act out, they're fundamentally good people who don't fuck up, and so on. This is not that kind of book. It's not that Magnus or Alexandra are so horrible. They're clearly good people with good hearts and good intentions.

They're just also... delightfully flawed. She's a bit bratty and flighty and tends to act on impulse. He's stern and struggles with forgiveness, and has a tendency to want to win at all costs. Neither of them are by any means monsters (though Magnus is referred to as a "beast" by the gossips, and in one of my favorite microtropes, IT KINDA HURTS BIG GROWLY MAN'S FEELINGS WHEN PEOPLE CALL HIM BEAST). But they have their issues, and they haven't dealt with them, and that's why their marriage combusts before it can really even start.

Also, they're both pretty bad at talking about their feelings, and make judgments about each other that aren't really fair. Here's the thing, though: All of this makes sense, because they were kind of strangers marrying. You get the most glorious pining thoughts from Magnus, and it's clear that he was besotted with Alexandra from the start... But he really didn't get to know her as a person. He didn't let her be a flawed person.

And it's a surprisingly complex thing, the way Long both lets us luxuriate in the swoony romanticism of Magnus's initial feelings for Alexandra (and my God, is it romantic... this is just an achingly romantic novel, in general) while never condemning Alexandra for her resistance. Because Magnus's feelings can be genuine, and he can be right about this inexorable chemistry between him and Alexandra; and he can also push Alexandra too far too soon and go about making their relationship a reality in a bad way. And then act affronted when she doesn't respond well to being pushed.

They're both messy people who nevertheless have, as Magnus, one of those guys with a Good Sense About Things (hence him being good at war) amazing chemistry. The kind of tension that just has to be fulfilled. It's delicious, and it's part of what makes this one of the hottest books I've read by Long. I mean. Holy shit.

It's also just like... so sweet? I felt as if I really got to know both Magnus and Alexandra, despite the narrative being brisk and also, like every book in this series, offering time to supporting characters. Few people can pull this off. Long is one of the best romance writers I can think of in terms of noticing the small details that have a big impact. The little notes about Magnus's past that tell you so much about why he is the way he is. The beats for Alexandra that remind you of a depth he doesn't necessarily want to see in her, five years after she broke his heart.

(And: I LOVE what drove them apart initially. Handled with such humanity! A thing I think a lot of authors wouldn't have done!)

Also—for Jane Austen fans. Imagine Colonel Brandon local pushing the marriage with Marianne, and then having it blow up in his face. With public sex. This is the look!

Of course, I have to note those supporting characters. I always love catching up with the regulars. When will Dot and Mr. Pike figure it out? How loud is Dot going to be when they finally do it? A small subplot in the book is basically a lot of supporting characters being pushed into horniness because of the awkward situations that arise when a honeymooning couple rooms at the Palace. It is glorious. It leads to some super funny yet sexy moments between our two mainstay couples, Delilah and Tristan (Lady Derring Takes a Lover) and Angelique and Lucien (Angel in a Devil's Arms). The way these books keep giving me Lustful Married Couples is. Everything!

The Sex:

Again... this is one of the horniest JAL books I've read! You do genuinely get more sex on the page than a few of the previous installments in this series (four scenes between our main couple, including one particularly exciting moment), plus a lot of hardcore flirting/implied sex between two other couples... and then the "it's funny, but now everyone is talking about loud sex and it's getting hot in the room" loud newlyweds.

I really loved how Alexandra and Magnus had sex, though. The impetuousness of it all. The way he just SNAPPED around her. And honestly? When he's right, he's right. He knew they'd be great in bed together, and, like... yes. I also super appreciated how he used Alexandra's Lust for His Body against her. So great.

Basically: It's funny! It's emotionally devastating at points! It's sexy! This is what we want from Julie Anne Long, and it's a damn good marriage in trouble/second chance book. So excited for everyone else to read this one.

Thanks to NetGalley and Avon for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[poketnife69]

Hi :) can you do ace merrill x f!reader?

where him and reader are out with the cobras and ace won’t stop whispering in her ear, touching her and being clingy.

Totally get it if you don’t want to or if you can’t get the inspo for it

Broken Barriers

Ace Merrill x fem!reader

WARNINGS : Swearing, but other than that just full on fluff

NOTE : Hi it's me again! This is my second fanfic on this blog, and I just wanna say that I appreciated the people who heart and reblogged my first one, really means a lot to me more than anything even if only a few people followed me. Again if I missed anything ( grammar, spelling, etc. ) please let me know! Also yeah it's kinda short again so apologies for that!

------------------------------------

It was a Friday afternoon, and you and the cobras were chilling out in the fields after a long day of causing trouble and chaos around Castle Rock, you sat on the car's trunk and took a sip of your drink as you watched the boys do their own thing. Ace sat beside you smoking a cigarette while having an arm wrapped around you and his thumb gently caressing your shoulder, you hadn't noticed his deep gaze on you until now.

"Hold on you've got a strand of hair on your face" he takes that same strand of hair and tucks it up behind your ear and places both hands on the sides of your face. "Beautiful.. " he whispers, this caused your face to turn a bright tomato red as a smirk spreads across Ace's face.

Normally he wouldn't have been this clingy and affectionate with you especially when he had to uphold his whole bad boy persona, I mean he did have a reputation to keep ( and by that I mean being a rebel or a menace to society ) . But since you guys were in an empty field with the whole cobra gang he didn't see it as much as a problem, they would've teased him for sure.. But they knew better than to mess with Ace.

The sun started to set and everyone had to go back to their humbled homes, and like the gentleman that he is Ace offered to drive you back just to make sure you 'didn't get murdered' or something, it was kind of funny but you knew he was just looking out for you.

Eventually, you both arrived at your destination and sat in silence, you turned your head to face him when suddenly he pulled you in for a kiss. He placed his hand behind your head as he pulled you deeper into the kiss, it was rough yet passionate, and it gave you a warm feeling inside.. Feeling of comfort and neediness..

You slowly pulled away having both your lips apart, staring into each other's eyes once more. "Can't you just stay at my place for tonight? You can make up some excuse to your folks about having a sleepover with a friend." Ace said as he still held your face, "You know I can't do that Ace, besides I got some chores to do, plus my dad is starting to suspect something." you said.

It wasn't a lie though that your father had started to get suspicious about you hanging out with Ace, you knew your dad hated him and at a given moment he would've marched out of the house with a shotgun. But Ace didn't give a shit, he wanted you and nothing else.

"Well that's a shame, we would've been able to cuddle up on my couch.. Or maybe a little more than cuddling.." He whispered out the last, you smacked his shoulder playfully as you scolded him "Ace you fucking perv!".

He chuckled and pulled you back in for one last kiss, though this time it was shorter as you pulled him away breaking the kiss. "Alright Romeo I think it would be best if you get going, we don't want my parents coming out of the door and seeing your car parked in front of our house, especially us making out in it. " you said as you pecked him on the cheek.

As you got out of the car and made your way to your front door you turned around one last time to see Ace giving you one of his charming smiles and drove off, it was a perfect timing though seemingly that your parents had sensed your arrival and opened the front door revealing you.

--------------------------------------------------

TAGLIST :

[fizzyxcustard]

Covert Eyes (19)

Prologue| Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6| Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18

Masterlist of fan fiction

Fandom: Spooks

Pairings: Lucas North x OC (Amy Holland)

Warnings: Stalking behaviour, anxiety, language, sexual references, angst, smut, heartbreak, gunshot wounds and recovery.

Summary: Lucas takes notice of a young woman, Amy, but his obsession and want to get to know her begin to spiral out of control. Amy knows that her recovery won’t be quick, and she now has another decision to face. 

Official soundtrack list:  here

Comments/Notes: If you wish to be tagged in any of my tag lists for fics or characters, please let me know, and stipulate what you want to be tagged in.

This chapter hits on a little bit of a nerve and I kinda went into a lot of depth about Amy's past relationship which was always written to reflect a bad relationship I had. So, with that, a lot of me comes out in this chapter, which I apologise for.

Lucas and Amy both snuggled into bed together that Christmas Eve morning. Lucas was scheduled to work from Christmas Day afternoon, and then Amy would work on Boxing Day. Idly, the two of them began to kiss, which then turned into a round of slow love making. 

By mid-afternoon, Amy was awake, and was in the kitchen, preparing a dinner for that evening while both of them were home together. Lucas was still sleeping when her phone rang. 

“Hello?” she asked as she saw Ruth Evershed’s name flash on the screen. 

“Hi, Amy,” Ruth replied. “I hope I didn’t disturb you. Debrief tonight at six. Just dial into Teams; Harry will be sending the invites out to everyone over email. Did you get much rest?” 

“I got a few hours in. Lucas is still asleep, and I’m putting the dinner on for later. It’s the only time that both of us will be here over Christmas, so we’re having our meal tonight. How about you?” 

“I can never sleep much after operations. I don’t sleep well normally, so I’ve been awake since. And then I’m back on shift tomorrow morning.” 

Lucas stepped into the kitchen, yawning, and flicked on the kettle for a cup of tea. Meanwhile, Amy was finishing her call with Ruth. 

“Debrief tonight at six, over Teams,” Amy explained. 

“Fair enough. Cuppa?” 

“Please.”

The rest of the day passed with no incident. Amy dished up their dinner at seven, once the debrief had finished. 

“Is it okay?” she asked, watching Lucas for a few seconds as he chewed on a roast potato. 

“It’s lovely.” 

“This is my first Christmas dinner away from the family,” Amy explained. “Last year I went back to Coventry over Christmas. This is the first Christmas I’ve spent here, and it feels a little bit weird. But in a good way. Every year I spent Christmas with Mum and Dad.” 

Lucas reached across and took Amy’s hand in his. “This is the first Christmas that I haven’t been alone in about ten years.” He looked at Amy, seeing her eyes fill with tears. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” 

“Don’t you dare apologise,” Amy demanded. “If I’d have known then I’d have made everything more special.” 

“Everything about this year has been special. Every day since February the twentieth has been special.” 

Amy giggled to herself and then looked back towards Lucas. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her. He’d remembered the one important date, the day that had been the start of it all: their first kiss. Amy thought back to that evening, when they had finally been able to spend time together. None of the times apart in between mattered; when Lucas had distanced himself after their first few times of intimacy, worried that he would never be able to fully commit to her. Then when Sarah had approached Amy, trying her best to blow apart the relationship. The only thing that mattered was the start of it all. And now. 

***

Early morning on New Year’s Eve and Lucas drove himself and Amy up to Coventry. The two of them had a week off; seven whole days to enjoy each other’s company. At around nine, Lucas pulled into a motorway service station for a quick break, and brought himself and Amy a large coffee each. 

As the two of them walked hand in hand back to the car, Amy spoke. “I want to tell Mom and Dad what I do for a living. I hate the thought of lying to them. I know we’re not meant to tell people, but protocol says immediate family can be told.” 

“Aim, it’s your choice. I can’t tell you what to do.” 

“And I won’t tell them about you. I suppose I could just tell them I saw the advert and applied. It’s not that insane to believe, is it? I don’t want to draw you in if it’s something you’re not comfortable with.” 

Lucas sighed. “It’s not that I’m uncomfortable, Aim. I really like your parents, and they’re good people. I think I worry they might accidentally say something to someone else. It’s easily done; you start talking and before you know it you’ve dropped something out that should be kept quiet.” 

They both approached the car and stood either side of it, hovering by the doors. “I won’t say anything then,” Amy said, looking away. “They both still think I’m at the JobCentre, and you’re with the police, so I’ll just keep that story going.”

The rest of the drive was quiet, Lucas noticed. Every now and again, his steel blue gaze drifted over towards Amy. But whenever he looked at her, she was staring blankly out of the window. “Aim, talk to me,” he began. “You’ve been quiet ever since the service station. Don’t be upset with me about what I said. I don’t think you always see the risks with doing what we do.” 

“I do see the risks, Lucas. Very much so.” Amy’s voice was sharp. “Please don’t talk down to me.” 

“I’m not talking down to you. I’m trying to remind you…”

“You’re trying to remind me of how stupid I am…”

“No!” Lucas snapped. “That’s not what I’m trying to remind you of. For fuck sake. Whenever have I ever treated you like you’re stupid or implied that you are?” 

Amy blushed, feeling her eyes sting with tears and focused on the passing hedgerows. The blur of green hues calmed her, bringing her back to some kind of grounding. “Just forget I said what I did.” 

Lucas looked over at her sadly and reached for her hand which was on her thigh. “You think so little of yourself sometimes, and of me.” 

Amy could feel his fingers tighten around her hand, and it made a swirl of emotion flood to her chest. 

***

For the first time in quite a few years, Amy had someone to kiss at midnight. She stood on the back door of her parents’ house, her arm loose around Lucas’ waist, joined by the rest of the family. Fireworks burst open in the night sky, illuminating the black backdrop with a whole rainbow of colours. Amy kissed Lucas, quietly wishing him a happy new year, and then watched him smile at her.

Sharon Holland, Amy’s mother, couldn’t help but watch her youngest daughter. The love radiated between Amy and Lucas, and she smiled. Finally her daughter was happy and in the arms of a man who was openly ready to show his love. Sharon couldn’t remember any time that Adam had ever held Amy so tight and looked into her eyes with such adoration. 

Leah and Ruth, Amy’s sisters, sat a few feet away on the garden patio table, drinking glasses of wine, while their partners jostled playfully for position of head firework lighter. Amy’s nephew, Thomas, was busy playing with his new handheld video game, not paying much attention to the fireworks. 

By just after one in the morning, Ruth and Leah had left. Lucas and Richard, Amy’s father, were having a drink in the living room, while Amy sat alone with Sharon. By now and Amy had changed into her pyjamas and slippers and was stood in the kitchen, pouring two mugs of tea. 

“I want to talk to you about something, Mum,” Amy announced, carrying two mugs of tea to the table. “I just can’t keep secrets from you, no matter how hard I try. Lucas didn’t want me to say anything, and it’s for a good reason.”

“Oh,” Sharon said simply. 

Amy noticed her mother’s eyebrows furrow. “Please don’t think bad of Lucas. You’ll see why it’s awkward. I may as well just say it: I work for MI-5.” 

Sharon couldn’t help but smile. 

“You think I’m joking?” 

“No, I just…I couldn’t imagine you doing that, but at the same time, it’s such a good fit for you. And, I’m guessing Lucas does, too?” 

Amy glanced at the doorway and then back toward her mother. “He didn’t want me to say anything. We’re not really meant to, but it was through him that I got the job. They recruited me. Remember when I got shot?” 

“Um, as if I could forget?” Sharon scoffed. 

“The shooter was connected to a case.” Amy glanced at the floor, knowing that her last sentence was a lie. Sarah was more than connected to MI-5 cases; she was Lucas’ ex and a CIA agent. If Amy told her mother of the true identity of the shooter, how would that impact her view of Lucas? Amy would never want any kind of division between her fiancée and her family. She wanted everything to be perfect, unblemished, untainted. 

“Please be careful,” Sharon said. She looked at Amy, her dark eyes full of concern and love. “We could have lost you back in August, love. And now you’re doing this?”

“It’s an analyst role. I don’t go out on surveillance. That’s what Lucas does. But please don’t tell him I’ve told you. We’re told not to tell people because we can be compromised, and we can put our loved ones in danger. But I couldn’t lie to you. You’re the last person in the world I’d ever lie to.” 

“Don’t you think Lucas deserves that privilege, too?” 

Amy lay in bed, the clock showing that it was three in the morning. Lucas was asleep next to her, on his side, facing away. In the dark and she could just make out the dark lines of the tattoos on his back. Dum Spiro Spero. The Latin words were at the very top of his back, at the base of his neck. Amy remembered asking him what it meant. While I live, I hope. 

Amy slid out of bed and wondered downstairs, heading into the kitchen for another cup of tea. She was wide awake now, her mind ablaze with memories of her former life, the life before Lucas and MI-5. Her dark times. When Lucas had been in prison and had those words, Dum Spiro Spero, etched into his skin, that was his darkest time. But he had still lived in hope. He had still hoped that he would one day live days of love, laughter and peace. And so had Amy. No one had ever seen the pain during all those years she spent in a loveless relationship, yearning for someone to truly love her. Lucas had endured physical torture, while she had endured emotional torture. She had been denied not only love, but time and effort. Adam walked the walk, but had never talked the talk. Only one person had ever seen it. Sharon. The person who knew Amy better than anyone and she had seen the distance in her daughter’s relationship. She had seen the times they would be out as a couple, and walk separately, not hand in hand. The times she had spoken to Amy, hearing the crack in her voice, when it was announced that Adam would not be joining them for a gathering. Or if he did join for a gathering, he was more interested in everyone else’s company, but Amy’s. Then tonight, as everyone gathered in the garden to watch the fireworks, Lucas held Amy close to him. Lucas wasn’t ashamed to be seen holding Amy; he wanted to be close to her every second of the day. 

Would Amy ever truly believe that Lucas loved her? She tried to. She knew she adored him, but to think that he might feel the same was alien to her. The mental memories of Adam were becoming warped by time, but the emotional memories were still vivid. 

Amy took her cup of tea back up to her old bedroom, which was now the guest room. As she entered, she could hear Lucas mumbling. She placed the mug down on the bedside table and slipped back under the duvet, shifting over to Lucas, where she lay behind him. “It’s okay,” she whispered. Her arm draped over him and she clung to him, resting her chin on his shoulder, where she kissed his bare skin.

Lucas moaned again and began to jolt. 

“Shhh,” Amy cooed. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m here.” 

Lucas began to jolt more, his body growing rigid and then small movements bursting every few seconds. 

Amy gently pulled him over on to his back, but as she did so, he began to call out.

“Lucas?” she said, shaking his shoulder. “Wake up, sweets. It’s okay.” 

Lucas’ eyes shot open and he looked at Amy, startled. But as recognition poured into his gaze, his body grew limp and he smiled. “Aim, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I haven’t woke anyone up, have I?” 

“It doesn’t matter if you did. Are you alright?” 

Lucas didn’t answer but shifted over and kissed Amy. The kiss grew deeper and Amy fell down into the mattress, her back flat. Lucas rose over her and then allowed the kiss to become slow, only a series of pecks. He rested his head on her shoulder. “Why do you insist on putting up with me?” 

“I could very well ask you the same question,” Amy giggled. 

“I don’t put up with you. I’m privileged and blessed to wake up next to you every morning.”

Amy knew she couldn’t hold any secrets from Lucas. Her mother was right; Lucas deserved to always be told the truth. “I told Mum about my job.” 

Amy squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the reaction. 

***

Follow Forever tag list: @lathalea @linasofia @middleearthpixie @xxbyimm @asgardianhobbit98 @luna-xial @knittastically @meganlpie @eunoiaastralwings @evenstaredits @lemond57 @missihart23 @guardianofrivendell @rachel1959 @mrsdurin @quiall321 @catthefearless @glassgulls @the-fragile-heart-of-a-lady @sazzlep @aliasauthor @solairewisteria @littlebird-99 @heilith @absentmindeduniverse @albionscastle @way-too-addicted-to-fandoms @court-jobi @for-fuck-sake-im-alive @bookworm-with-coffee

[lace-satin]

Okay, me crushing him is making a comeback. And I hope it doesn't last long...

Quick recap: for the past months we acted more like a friends, I had no particular interest although I flirted with him sometimes 🤷‍♀️

In the spring I went to another city for a one-day trip with him and another student /the three of us are close and we work together for a university related things/. The interactions we had then were sooooo sweet, e.c he gave me his suit jacket because it was raining and it was cold, he just put it on my shoulders and then squeezed me, bought me coffee and a sandwich. In the evening back in out city he drove me home but we stayed in the car, we were talking for 30-40 minutes or so.

He came to see me at work since I work relatively close to his home. He always look genuinely happy to see me.

And the three of us we met a couple of times in the summer, we went out drinking in a local bar. The wast time I drank more that usually. And so did he. The other student had to go early this time and we were left together. Later he walked me to my apartment. We stayed outside and talked for a solid hour. And then I just felt uneasy, it was black in front of my eyes and held on him. We were so close, he was holding me, he touched my hands, my arms, my back. The thing is I was really feeling bad, i practically blacked out in his hands. He stayed calm tho. Got my keys and helped me to come inside the building, took the elevator with me and sent me to my front door. In the elevator he was hugging me, yes he held me so close. When he got home he caled we to check me if I am fine now. We haven't talked about that night ever since.

Fast forward to present times, the academic year started. This week I went to see him every day and it feels like we are more than comfortable around each other. Had a couple brushing of the hands, short distance, whispering. We text and it feels kinda flirty sometimes.

In the last texts I jocked and sent him "you are dangerous" and he replied "if only you know how bad I am". Like maaan, you are not helping me!!?? You make me feel things. Don't.

[4townie]

Road to 4☆TOWN

part 11

“You’re sure you won’t come in with me?” Taeyoung asked, hugging Aaron T.

“I know you’re nervous about going home, but I haven’t seen my mom in two months.” Aaron reminded him. “She just got engaged and we have to talk about moving out. Plus, she’s my mom and I missed her.”

“Then can I go with you?” Taeyoung held on tighter. “I’m sure my parents won’t mind if I stay at your place for a few hours.”

“Yeah, right. Your mom would kill me if I kept her baby away for a second longer than I needed to.” Aaron rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re so worried about anyway. You know your mom’s gonna be ecstatic to see you again.”

Taeyoung was quiet. “And my dad…?”

“I mean, I know he’s a little quieter but I’m sure he missed you.” Aaron assured him.

The bus came to a stop.

“This is you, Taeyoung.” Courtney called him from the front of the bus. “I think I can see your mom at the window already.”

“Thanks, Courtney.” Taeyoung started to get up. “Guess I can’t stall. I’ll see you on—”

“Wait, Tae.” Aaron took off his hat and placed it on Taeyoung’s head. “I may not be going in with you, but I’m still there for you.”

Taeyoung smiled. “Awwww, thanks, Aaron.” He hugged him again. “But wait, you hate being without your hat.”

“I’m just going home. It’s no big deal.” Aaron shrugged. “Besides, you can give it back when you come over tomorrow.”

“I feel better already.” Taeyoung said with a small sigh. He grabbed his bags and adjusted the hat . “Well, here goes nothing.” He got off the bus and walked what felt like a mile to the front door. He looked over his shoulder and saw Aaron waving as the bus drove off. Before he could wave back, he was being pulled into the house.

“TAEYOUNG!” Dasom yelled as she hugged him. “Oh, baby, I missed you so so much. Don’t ever leave me for that long again.” She gave him a million little kisses.

“Mom, please.” Taeyoung chuckled a bit. “Plus, you know we have another tour in Australia this October.”

“Well, then your father and I will simply have to take a month’s vacation to Australia this year.” Dasom shook her head. “I can’t stand to be apart from my baby that long.” She hugged him again.

“I don’t think either of you can take a vacation that long. Especially not Dad.” Taeyoung grinned. “By the way…where is he? Is he home?”

Dasom paused. “Oh, uhhhh—”

“Jagi, the jacuzzi’s ready for—” Jihun stopped at the bottom of the steps. “Oh. Taeyoung, you’re back.”

“Hi, Dad.” Taeyoung waved awkwardly.

“Uh…how was the trip?” Jihun asked.

“It was okay. I got a little sad on Christmas since I was away from you and M—”

“Good, good.” Jihun cut him off. “I’m glad you had a good time.”

There was an awkward pause.

Taeyoung started walking towards him with open arms. “I missed you, Dad.”

“And I missed you, son.” Jihun nodded, stopping Taeyoung before they could hug. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go drain the jacuzzi.” He headed back upstairs with a look of disappointment.

“I guess he got used to me not being around.” Taeyoung said quietly. “Now I feel kinda bad for ruining your fun…”

“No, no, no!” Dasom rushed over to him, gently cupping his cheeks. “Your father and I missed you everyday you were gone. We just got a little taste of what it’ll be like when you get married and move out, and to be honest I didn’t like it one bit. Okay, well maybe a little.”

“Mom, please.” Taeyoung groaned. “He didn’t even hug me. You don’t have to sugarcoat it.”

“Oh, dear, you know how he is.” Dasom stroked his hair. “He’s just not very good at showing affection.”

“Every Valentine’s Day, birthday, and anniversary of yours, he buys you red roses, takes you out to dinner at your favorite restaurant, and spends the night with you at a hotel.” Taeyoung narrowed his eyes. “I get shipped off to Aaron’s house even though Valentine’s Day is literally my birthday.”

Dasom frowned at her son. “Awww, sweetie. I—”

“Jagi?” Jihun called from upstairs. “I accidentally added bubbles instead of draining it.”

Dasom started giggling. “I’ll be right there.” She called up to him. “Why don’t you unpack your bags and have some dinner? There’s some kimbap in the fridge.”

“But, Mom, I kinda wanted to talk about—”

Dasom rushed up the stairs and shut the bedroom door behind her. Taeyoung sighed as he was met with silence once again.

[sonic-spirit]

Okay, let's fuckin gooooo!!!

I'm seeing if I can do a blog post every day to try and get myself through more of that wall of awful brain garbage that's been gumming things up inside me. I have a lot of topics I've been wanting to talk about, and stories I've been wanting to record, and, yanno. The only way out is through.

It was my first day off I haven't shared with one of my mates in awhile, so that ended up shaping how I approached the day. I started a bit of a decluttering project, since we do have a lot of stuff with no homes right now. I'm not willing to mess with my mates' stuff, but in the two years since moving all the way out here my hyper pared-down stuff has grown, and I was definitely due for some re-organizing and looking it all over for stuff I don't want or need anymore. A big part of the project today was breaking down the variety of little caches I'd developed in a few spots in the apartment and keeping like things together, especially toys and art supplies. I have some big traditional media projects I've been gearing up for, and the more ready things are to get started, the more convenient I make my setups to hit the ground running, the more likely I am to actually do them.

Talking about that stuff was supposed to help me ease into writing about one of the more emotionally charged things I've been meaning to write about, ^_^;; but if I segue into talking about Otherkin stuff from decluttering, the post's kinda gonna feel uneven to me. So, okay, let's talk about, as I have it in my notes:

The Time I Drove Across the Country 3 Times to Save My Life

I feel guilty about looking at it as anything but a tragedy, millions of people died, and who knows how many more were permanently disabled, and so many could have been okay if the people in power hadn't been so eager to throw them to the mercies of an uncaring disease. But, selfishly, COVID saved my life.

My mental health still isn't great. There are always ups and downs, and I've been under a lot of financial stress that's been causing me to spiral in a lot of other ways again. But before COVID it was so, so much worse. I wasn't still living with my abusive parents at the time, but I was working for them, and still beholden to them socially and financially. And I was...loosing resiliency. Going to cons and spending time with my friends wasn't...well, if wasn't enough to offset how the rest of it was wearing on me, dealing with my abusers, doing a job I hated and where I constantly felt like I was failing, and I was losing ground. I'd been suicidal for years and years, and I didn't think I had much fight left in me. I'd also been trying to escape, with interruptions to triage myself to keep functioning, for even longer. I was tired, and I was getting desperate.

COVID bought me more time.

Everything going into shutdown was bad. And let me be perfectly clear, shutting down was the right thing to happen, there were so, so many people who should not have died. But for the first time in ten years, I got some distance from my abusive parents. I didn't have to go into a job and see them all the time, I didn't have to go over to their house and play nice and cow-tow to them every week.

For the first time in so, so long, I got a reprieve.

It was still hard, I missed my friends, and the stress of living under the threat of a pandemic was huge. But I finally started to be able to put myself back together again. Just a little bit. And that made all the difference in the world.

And then, in the heart of all this uncertainty, one of my really, really good friends who I'd fallen out of contact with a few years prior reached out, and we reconnected. We talked, and talked, and one thing led to another, and eventually we started dating.

My parents had eroded most of the COVID protections at my job by this time, having us back working in the office, opening the office to the public, and things were quickly becoming untenable for me again. My friends, in person and long distance, did their best to help. As much as I would let them see how deeply I was struggling.

Then came the Thanksgiving trip.

I'd been very resistant to flying to Florida with my family in the Thanksgiving of a pandemic. But my mom had bartered with me. If I went on this trip, they wouldn't force me into going on the Christmas trip. -_- And how could I say no to a deal like that. Look, I didn't have many options, and again, I was beholden to them. I could only fight so hard. So, I went. And it was worse than I had even expected.

Never masking in a state with abysmal infection numbers, never taking advantage of outside seating at restaurants, eating out for every meal was bad enough. The endless refrain of Fox News and fascistic dogwhistles put me over the edge. I knew they wanted who I really was dead. But...living inside it...I was done. I needed to escape, by any means necessary. My friends were alarmed and rightly so. I redoubled my efforts to find another job as means of escape, and determined I would not do this ever again. I would give myself a deadline to get out.

When my relationship started with my mate, I changed my focus to jobs in the San Jose area. And in February, I finally had an opportunity. Two jobs wanted me to come in and interview, and I'd already blocked out a long weekend for that year's virtual FurSquared con. Instead, I loaded myself and my 16-year-old kidney diseased kitty, and everything I though I couldn't do without in case I decided to simply never come back, and drove the 3,000 miles from Illinois to California in 3 days.

It was ROUGH. I didn't give myself a very reasonable timeline to get there, and driving 10-hour or more days, going from cat-friendly hotel to cat-friendly hotel was A Lot. Giving Zi her subcutaneous fluids in hotel rooms was a wild experience. But eventually, we made it. I met up with my mate, changed clothes and ran out for an interview...^_^;; which I actually missed because I'd taken too long to get there. But spending the night with my mate and their partner, feeling safe with them...they offered to let me stay, and I tearfully admitted that I didn't want to leave.

I almost just stayed. I wanted to, badly. But I still had a house to get out from under, and I needed to go back and sell it. I went to the second interview, where neither of us impressed one another, and drove Zi and myself back, escape plan in gear.

My house was a horrifically cluttered mess when I called the realtor who'd helped me buy it and asked him to help me sell, but he was still generous when he came by to talk with me. The market was good, he told me, and places were getting sold even before they were properly listed. I signed the papers, and started getting to work on paring everything down and packing.

It quickly became clear that storage or moving things or Uhauls would be prohibitively expensive for me, easily over $1,000 for the cheapest options. Since I would be moving without a job set up, and without any form of income when I left, the only reasonable option was to only bring what I could fit in my car, and donate or sell the rest. It was hard, emotional work, and I had to make a lot of hard decisions (and a lot of use of Facebook Marketplace for the first time), but I made it happen, and by mid April, I finally left.

I had a celebratory going away party the night before leaving, where we drank and had fun, and enjoyed one another's company. And then my friends came and helped me with the last of the junk I hadn't managed to get through the next morning. They held me while I had a panic attack over telling my parents I was leaving, and helped me to be able to go.

In the end, the people who really knew me, who really loved me, saved me.

Finally, I headed out with Zi, deciding to drive...less stupid hours this time. I limited myself to 8 hour driving days, and just did a few more days. Memorably, one morning when I was trying to get us out the door and checked out, I couldn't find Zi. I searched that hotel room for my kitty for a good half hour before I finally found her--she'd somehow managed to open a drawer, climb inside, and shut herself in!

I'd expected to feel freed, relieved. I'd expected to feel a weight off myself immediately. But mostly, what I'd felt at first was numb grief. I was so tired. I was glad to be going, excited to be with people I loved. But I still felt bad. Everything they would have thought of the situation echoed in my mind, and it hurt. I knew I was right to go. I knew there was no way they'd ever stop hurting me. I knew I needed to get away. But their words, of how selfish I was, echoed inside me.

It's still hard sometimes. Abuse echoes still. But I'm so, so fucking relieved to be out. And so, so fucking grateful to be with my partners.

[neuroticboyfriend]

ty for the “we don’t have to consider the dui ppl evil monsters forever.” This you can skip I think now if you don’t want a story of why your post is gonna change my life a little bit.

I have a owi from a boss getting drunk as hell with me and I very much went along with the evening for like idk stupid professional relations reasons I guess, and ended up in a ditch etc. I unfortunately received another dui after I was drinking at home in my backyard two years later sorta mid-meltdown, and after an exchange with an equally intoxicated neighbor was chased about 120 ft to my car which I drove to some neighbors (rural area) about 2 min away l, but literally got pulled over by the cops along that stretch as they kinda park-camp there.

My life was ruined. I was not well in jail for 90 days after the second one, as was denied anti-psychotics, sleep aids, and anti-depressants so stuck in a suicide suit and in solitary. I had worked for the state for a decade but no longer could, and I was stuck in the county that had no mental health services for me due to the limits of our CMH. I had to live with friends for two years of probation because I couldn’t drive or work without being able to drive. I did some wfh stuff during Covid (thank god wfh surge saved me tbh) but had to bike 10 miles each way or get a ride a couple times a week for drug tests, support meetings, classes etc for 2 years. I had to borrow money and pay ppl back years later for covering the costs of the drug tests and classes.

I had worked for the state for nearly a decade, graduated with a degree, had an apartment, boyfriend, the whole works: but I had no mental health access for a decade and had essential emergency services trying to toss meds at me, when I would ask to be hospitalized or finally was, and after about 7-8 years I was maladaptive as hell unable to get counseling or med management, drinking with bosses and melting down in my backyard.

I finally got mental health and other services: I have Tourette’s, autism, adhd, and ocd. And a nice helping of the cptsd but idk that one’s pretty managed. I have a bunch of broken teeth from clenching from stress and Tourette’s. The only help I got out of that county was Christian substance abuse services in classes that I had to do for probation for two years. I cannot imagine how different my life would be if I could have gotten the services the judge said I had complete access to.

I have never felt like anyone could be capable of understanding that I’m not a monster and I didn’t want to do anything bad. I understand very well why ppl are so aggressive against drunk driving as I’m in one of the worse states for it and we have some of the strongest laws for it. It’s a felony in Canada and I can’t go there anymore because of it. And it’s been idk 5 years now that I’ve never seen or heard a message like this and it is just so moving.

I’ve been holding myself back so much because I did a bad and I don’t feel like a deserve to like use social services or anything anymore like anything that could burden the state or community. I fell so far like possessions wise, asset wise, materially, professionally, in housing etc. that I need those services frankly. I don’t do things or try to interact with people, I’ve done like 5 years of shame vs regret exercises but it doesn’t matter I just don’t feel like I should get to be part of society and that no one wants me to be anymore. And I think if I saw things like this just once in awhile amongst the regular dui messaging it would be really great.

I do run a smart recovery meeting which is like science backed substance abuse program very much online nowadays but I want to do more but I’m still very in my head about it. I’m gonna try to think about this perspective from time to time. So thank you.

Anon I am telepathically giving the biggest hug ever, and if you dont want a hug then. I'm sending so much support and understanding your way. I'm so happy you found my post, especially since I've gotten a little bit of hell for it. Knowing it comforted just one person makes it worth it.

You're not a monster, and what the state did to you is not okay. It's inhumane, and you didn't deserve a single part of it. It's not even remotely fair that your right to health and safety was so grossly violated. And I'm glad you seem to be doing better than you were. I hope as time goes on, you find more of your place in this world.

I know things will never be the same, and I know how much stands in your way - even though I can't truly conceptualize it. But there will always be more people than you know who see see your humanity. Who want you in this world with us - not just tolerate it. And I think it's really wonderful you run the recovery program. You've probably changed a lot of lives, for the better. That's awesome!

And thank you for trusting your story with me. I've been struggling with some substance abuse lately, and I think getting this ask is gonna get me through another night of not. Fucking up. Sometimes people just need to feel connection, I think. So you changed my life a little bit, too.

[child-of-of-the-sunshine]

Somebody’s Everything

Rewrite Chapter 1

Life hated Lindsay for some damn reason since she was four, and her mother and older sister were killed. Right now she was engaged to the one and only Tony DiNozzo, but a couple days ago he found out he has daughter, that were this fight begins

“Your just leaving?” She questioned him as he packed some stuff “You can come with.” He said, he was all but pleading with her “I can’t, I'll deploy soon.” She said raising her voice, it was always one thing Tony didn’t understand her deployments “You really think I pack up and move to Paris?” She questioned him “You leave on a dime all the time.” He said back to her “I kinda have too.” She yelled at him, she was really glad Tony Sr had the kid right now “Is this it for us?” He asked in calm voice, he watched as she took off her in engagement ring, she walked over placed it in his hand, and closed his hand round it “I can’t just leave.” She whispered, tears had fallen down her face, she kissed his cheek, before grabbing her bag and leaving the apartment

As she drove back Virginia Beach, she couldn’t help but think, she wasn’t ready to take on the role as a mother yet, she still had so much fucking trama from childhood, she blinked back tears as she pulled into her house, it was small but worked a navy seal, she got the last of her affairs in order before heading to base for deployment, no one questioned where her ring was at, they all assumed she left it at home

Three Months Later

Back heading back home, no one said anything until now “So where’s the ring?” Jason asked her “I gave it back.” She shrugged, this made Brock perked up from what he was doing “I thought you two were getting married?” Jason questioned, he was confused everything seemed fine the last time he saw Tony so what the hell changed “He has a kid.” She paused “With Ziva.” The last part was quiet, Jason was completely quiet “Ziva was killed, leaving her daughter behind. Since she’s Tony's kid she got placed in his care, so he moved to Ziva's favorite place.” She said, wiping tears away, Jason was still quite and just hugged her

Once they landed, she grabbed her stuff and left base, she got back to her and was confronted with pictures of her and Tony, she took them all down, put them in her desk drawer. She heard a knock on the door and went to answer it, she saw Brock standing there “Hey.” He said smiling, she knew why he was hear, she had been more snappy at the guys all deployment “I don’t want to talk about it.” She said, she shook her head “We’re talking about it.” Brock said coming in to her house, Brock was probably the only person that could get her to talk about personal shit, besides Jason and maybe Ray

They sat on her couch “I just don't understand, this kid is like 4, and me and Tony dated after Ellie started, I feel like I took away her dad. Even if Ziva never told him, I still feel like a bad person.” She paused before she kept going “I was the same age when I lost my mom and sister and all I had was my dad and the necklace he got me and my sister," Lindsay said crying, Brock just pulled her into a hug “Lindsey.” He said looking at her “You're not a bad person.” He paused before going on “I mean look at what we do for a damn living. We go into the line of fire every time.” He said it was all true.

He could see the wheels turning in her head “What are you think Lindsey?” He questioned her, “What if he needs help?” Lindsey started rambling about the things that Tony could need help with “Lindsey, stop your over thinking this.” He said “You can’t look back at that and think of what could have been.”

“Brock, would it be bad if I called him?” She questioned, Brock shook his head and stood up, she stood up to and hugged, Brock left and Lindsey was left by herself. She called Tony and left a message mostly apologizing for how she left and saying she would switch her emergency contact back to her dad

Over the next few months Lindsey didn’t answer any calls from her dad at all, they all went unanswered. It made him worry about his daughter so much so he drove to her damn base

Lindsey was walking out of cages when her dad stopped her “Lindsey what the hell?” He questioned her calmly “Dad can we go somewhere away from people?” She questioned, she didn’t want anyone hear how bad of a daughter she had been over the past 6 months “No.” Gibbs said shaking his head “You don't answer any of my calls for three months.” He said, Lindsey wanted to lie about but she knew she couldn’t so she stayed quiet “Lindsey Shay Gibbs?” He questioned her, “Fine everything reminds me of Tony, DC, NCIS, even you remind me of him, I’m also a shit human at the moment for not answering your calls.” Her voice was raised alerting all of the Bravo team, Jason walked and saw Gibbs there “Is everything okay here special agent?” Jason questioned “Jase everything’s fine I’ll be in a minute.” She said, her talk with her dad ended and her going back to the cages, she didn’t speak to anyone at all

[noosesurroundsme]

Sunday is my birthday and I really want to give up

J decided to come back around again after just deciding he didn't want to talk to me anymore 4 months ago. A week before my Hiking trip Memorial Day weekend he texted me saying he wanted to give me my things back, which he could have done at any time if he didn't feel like seeing me, but he wanted to I guess. It was nice because I didn't have to buy another car charger for my phone for this 2500 mile road trip. He then wanted to hang out the night I was planning on leaving after I got off work, which is fine, but instead of leaving Wisconsin at 8-8:30pm, I left home at almost 10. Luckily I had my bags packed already, just had to load a cooler and put everything in the car.

I was really close to ending it before this trip. I was tired of my siblings, with work, and my uncle and his girlfriend being awful parents to my baby cousin (he's the best little toddler ever, he's fun and pretty well behaved). The stuff with my uncle and his girlfriend just completely unraveled before I left too so two weeks before Memorial Day I just decided I'm driving to Wyoming to go hiking in Medicine Bow-Routt National Forest and see a classic car museum in Nebraska. It made me feel so much better. Unfortunately the Medicine Bow peak trail was closed, the elevation up at the peak is 12k ft and there was still 6-8ft of snow along the side of the road up there, 30°F and super windy. I camped in Vedauwoo which is 50 miles from the bottom of Medicine Bow but still considered part of the forest. Laramie and Cheyenne, WY are cute little western towns and it felt really welcoming seeing a pride flag on the front window of this cute little local grocery store that I went to in Laramie. I did dispersed camping in the National Forest Parks which is only like $20 a night. It was a lot of fun. I also went to see Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota and camped out there. Driving the Needles Highway in SD was so much fun, especially with my daily being a 5 speed and awd. I had a lot of fun out there until the car broke. I pushed it too hard when I was having fun so my mom drove out and I towed it home on basically no sleep, 850 mi and 12+ hours (if the truck didn't have its own issues). I was up for two days. I went to work the morning we got back, on no sleep. I basically pulled the car off the trailer, returned the trailer, and my mom dropped me off at work right away.

All of that is just a long winded way of getting to the point. I've been home now for 2 or 3 weeks. My birthday is in a few days which I don't know what to do about. I hate that day. So many bad things happen. Now with J around again I don't know what to do. I started to get used to him not talking to me anymore and now I'm not ready if he still remembers what Sunday is and texts me or calls me or whatever. I usually turn my phone off and go far away and hide anyway. I kinda want to tell him I can't do it so he goes back away. I can't forget or forgive. I'm not good at that. I have a really good memory in a bad way. I ruminate over things forever. I still do about things from when I was 6 or middle school or other times/events of my life. I can't get past things. I can't forgive him or myself.

It doesn't help that now I'm pretty much stuck at home again. That trip showed me I don't have to be confined anymore. I have a car and can leave basically whenever the hell I want to and see the beauty in nature. Now my car is broken, I have to rebuild the engine or replace it (we'll see when I get it apart) so I'm stuck. I'm broke and I'm stuck. My aunt let me drive her car since she is bed ridden from a stroke, but I don't even get to have the fun of daily driving a stick shift car because it's broken.

I really want to give up.

[yfmconfessions2]

ALRIGHT AS I SAID HEADCANONS COMIN IN!!!! Most of them are bout Puff, but i included the others aswell!<3

- Puff LOVES eating toffee candies. Like he will devour them and then feel nauseous, like with eating chocolate

-He gets called "Reeses Puff" by the bandmates and it PISSES HIM OFF.

-He once drove when he was drunk and nearly ran over an old lady, turns out he nearly killed his grandma and since then he never drove drunk again.

-Puff has sever stomach problems but doesn't give a crap and will eat anything spicy or greasy, then cry like a little bitch that his stomach hurts. (projectinghereCOUGH)

-He absolutely trolls kids on roblox with Axel and then they both get banned for MONTHS.

-Benatar buys alot of silver and gold jewelry (like rings or necklaces) for Deejay and he absolutely adores it.

-Puff and Benatar can both scream really LOUD like theyre in a horror movie, and when they feel like it, they sneak up on Axel and Deejay and do those exact screams and those poor boys both shit their pants meanwhile Ben and Puff just laugh at their reactions.

-They all have a love-hate relationship when theyre drunk. Like they will literally insult eachothers bloodlines and then cuddle up with eachother like nothing happened.

- Axel and Benatar met in music class during high school, i just know it. Like Axel was flexing some stuff on the drums and Benatar just looked at him and smiled a bit, then they both met up after class and talked a bit. Puff and Deejay knew eachother since they were kids, they met on a playground, Puff was alone cause his mom didnt go with him, and he was kinda sad cause he was playing by himself, so Deejay started talking with him, and they became buddies.

-They all blast random loud ass music while theyre driving and open their windows for people to hear. And if anyone yells at them they just honk, turn the volume up even more and drive off.

-Axel LOVES building legos, but he cant always figure it out so Benatar helps him out.

-Puff drinks tea with 20 spoons of sugar in it and says "Damn this is so bitter." While everyone just gives him the most judgmental stare possible.

-Puff got called a boomer by a Tara once, he just scolded her, but he actually never recovered from it and he keeps bitching about it everytime something reminds him of that brat.

-Deejay LOVES orange sweets while everyone else hates them, so they just give all the orange stuff to him and hes more than happy to eat it.

-Talking about their favorite flavours when it comes to sweets, Puff's raspberry and lemon, Benatar's blue raspberry, Axel's strawberry and banana.

-Puff LOVES going to kids stores and stare at toys, and when Benatar asks him "What the hell are you doing?" He gets so embarrassed and tells him to piss off, but after a while he reply "Want me to buy it for you?" And Puff just nods.

-PUFF IS AN ABSOLUTE MASTER AT PUPPY EYES ITS CRAZY. LIKE HE CAN PULL IT OFF SO WELL (too bad it doesnt work in court or in jail)

-They were all the weird kids. Like they all watched undertale animation memes and all that kind of stuff, but none of them would ever admit it, only to eachother. Puff and Axel watched the most of them cause their parents didnt care much bout what they did on the internet.

-Puff has a teddy bear that he got from his mom for his 4th birthday, its literally nearly tore apart, and even tho he wanted to throw it away multiple times, he couldnt. He's just too attached to it, especially since it was his MOM that bought him that.

-Puff has a specific file for every band members embarrassing moments and used it as blackmail multiple times.

-Puff absolutely LOVES corny romance stories but no one knows about it, he reads them late at night when he makes sure everyone is asleep and even though he cringes at most of the pick up lines, some of them got him squealing into his pillow and giggling like a girl.

-When Puff was singing "My Balls", he had to re-do HALF OF THE SONG 20 TIMES because he couldnt stop laughing at the dumb lyrics.

-Axel climbed onto a tree because Puff said "You dont have the BALLS." Then Axel stared at him with a smug smirk before the branch he was on broke under him, and he fell straight onto his face. Puff instead of helping him, burst into loud ass laughter, but like after 5 minutes, still giggling, he helped Axel up and noticed he broke his nose and his tooth fell out, and thats how Axel got his teethgap.

-When the whole band was in high school, they were walking around town and spotted something that looked like an abandoned shed, Puff and Axel (wanting to show off) said that they will go and check it out, while the others told them not to. They did anyway while Benatar and Deejay stood a good distance away, looking how it would go. And it turned out it was actually a HOUSE. So being the dumbasses they were, they knocked hard on the door and yelled some shit, but when they heard the door open, they screamed at the top of their lungs and all of them ran away like pussies. (something that happened to me this summer but i did it alone cuz my friend was a pussy and nearly shat my pants when the door opened LMFAOAOO)

ANYWAY THATS ALL I HAVE!!! HOPE U ENJOY THEM<3

-Puff anon

YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAAAAAA

YEA THEYRE BROS THROUGH AND THROUGH I NEEEED TO SEE MORE CONTENT OF THEM CUDDLING I'M DESPERATETETETET

AND YES. I ALWAYS THOUGHT PUFF COULD PULL OFF PUPPY EYES SO WELL LIKE WTF IS SOME KINDA SPELL

YEAAYEYAYA HE LOVES CORNY SHIT SM I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BALLS!!!

[a-tale-of-legends]

Ideas for Legendverse Champions ( not all)

Lance

Is often called "old man" by Cynthia. He is only 3 years older than her.

Generally very stern and straightforward. But also very paternal, a very good source of comfort for the likes of Blue and Silver.

Bc he's very straightforward he didn't immediately notice how Red was handling his new position. He regrets it deeply.

Fucking Dork. Likes puns and capes and sweets and gossip magazines -

^ the puns get worse when he becomes a father ( Silver)

Overall very respected among the leagues. Not entirely sure if he was a champion before Blue, but that's something I'll think about later.

Wallace

Still deciding when or how long Wallace became champion tbh. If it was literally at the end of the magma aqua plot I feel bad bc his reign was so short. But anything longer and I have to figure out how long Steven n Wallace were champions respectively. I'll figure it out eventually

Thanks to Juan he can speak several languages- including his own home dialect

Used to be pretty uptight as a kid. Training with Juan made this rigid exterior melt away but what really speed ran this was meeting Steven motherfucking Stone. Wallace used to hate this man lmao.

Wasn't expecting to be someone Jin goes to for comfort but he'll gladly be a shoulder to lean on for the kid.

Cynthia

I want her to do more in platinum but I dunno what lol

Knows Cyrus from a while ago, but has lost connection with him at some point. She doesn't really blame herself for how he ended up though.

Kinda like Steven in that she enjoys being champion but likes doing her own thing more. She's not irresponsible by any means, but her focuses tend to be elsewhere. Sometimes it seems Lucian is running the league.

I would say in the modern era the champion title went like this: Bertha -> Palmer -> Cynthia. Palmer wasn't really there to help Cynthia with the process of being a champion. While she no longer resents the man, she isn't totally fond of him. She tries not to carry that out on Barry, especially bc the boy just wants to impress his dad.

^ so bc of that, Cynthia really does try to be there for Danica when she champion. It's easy enough bc Danica was literally 11 when she gained the title, so it was moreso Danica having the title, but Cynthia pretty much did everything else. She's perfect by no means- again she likes doing her own thing- but she really is trying.

Used to be very close with her little sister Calypso. But Cynthia's fame is as a blessing as it is a curse. It kinda drove them apart, and Cynthia isn't sure what to do to fix things.

Diantha

The media LOVES pointing out her "rags to riches" backstory. It is true that she wasn't exactly rich when she started out, but she wasn't like. Some dirt poor girl that was finally seen for her talents or some shit. Her life was honestly pretty average. She did have big dreams to make it big one day, but that can go for anyone, no?

Best friends with professor Sycamore. Unsure how they met ( either through childhood or meeting at the legendary evolution guru's training stuff) but they've been close friends ever since. Life kinda prevents them from hanging out as much as they used to, but they try to have monthly- bi monthly meet ups.

Knows karate. Do NOT fuck with her.

Okay that's it I'm tired but still can't sleep so. Bleh.