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#i felt a little better this morning
seaweedstarshine · 4 months
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Late to the game as I’ve kinda been kinda non-here for a minute but I scrolled through the Dot and Bubble tag, and thought I wanted to write this post into existence.
There's this part in Doctor Who Unleashed where RTD says this:
“What we can’t tell is how many people will have worked that out before the ending. Because they’ve seen white person after white person after white person, and television these days is very diverse. I wonder, will you be ten minutes into it, will you be fifteen, will you be twenty, before you start to think, everyone in this community is white. And if you don’t think that — why didn’t you? So, that’s gonna be interesting. I hope it’s one of those pieces of television you see, and always remember.”
And I'm like. Yeah. But the reason this works even as well as it does is largely thanks to the work of the previous showrunner with the previous creative team, which was notably the first era to have any writers of color (amongst other firsts in terms of inclusivity in directors, composer, actors). While Chibnall fumbled whenever he tried to write about race himself, he did have the self-awareness to have Black and South Asian writers writing the episodes where race is the focus (and a female writer for the episode where sexism is a focus; my point is, he seemed to know his shortcomings).
I wonder what the current creative team looks like? (not really, but I wasn't 100% sure for all of them)
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To quote RTD:
“...before you start to think, everyone in this community is white.”
This is pretty non-self-aware, right? It's pretty “It is said, and I understand this, there was a history of racism with the original Toymaker, the Celestial Toymaker, who had ‘celestial,’ and I did not know this, but ‘celestial’ can mean of Chinese origin, but in a derogatory way,” right? (from The Giggle Unleashed) It's pretty “and I had problems with that, and a lot of us on the production team had problems with that: associating disability with evil,” right? (from Destination Skaro Unleashed)
—none of which are issues that should be overlooked, but think how much exponentially better they might’ve been addressed if he’d consulted with Chinese writers and wheelchair-using writers before going straight to giving the Toymaker weird fake accents and making Davros walk?
How many Black or non-white people do we think saw the Dot and Bubble script before it landed in Ncuti’s hands?
And this just keeps happening.
And like, from some of the shocked responses I've seen from white viewers to the ending of Dot and Bubble, maybe the episode's unsubtlety was needed? From the way RTD talks about it in Unleashed, the episode was written with a white audience in mind, Baby's First Microaggressions (where of course the microaggressions come from people who are pretty self-admittedly white supremacists). Ricky September, a more seemingly normal depiction of someone in the racist bubble of Finetime, seemed like an interesting element, up until the way he died.
The ending worked for me, because I do think the Doctor's reaction is true to how the Doctor would react. I just keep thinking of how much better the core themes could've been handled by someone with actual lived experience on the subject matter.
#dot and bubble#fifteenth doctor#rtd critical#anti rtd#ricky september#lindy pepper bean#dw negativity#racism#antiblackness#words by seaweed#not to be anti rtd. im just very critical. Anti RTD is just a tag which people use or block#every showrunner has their flaws but RTD is the only one self-righteously virtu signling over NOTHING. which is why im more critical.#plus the on-set sxual hrassment and what happened with Chris Eccleston etc. it vindicates me. idk. not tryna be a hater#ALSO dot and bubble is leaps and bounds better than any racism commentary I expected from Russell T Davies. so theres that.#can you tell I'm shy abt making long posts that someone is likely gonna be not happy about-#I usually search tumblr for posts to rb and talk in tags. but I couldnt find any posts about this this morning! tho I think ppl have since#etc its fine to critically appreciate imperfect media etc I do it all the time (as a Black fan) (who also thinks Rosa has Flaws) etc#I did see someone on twitter pointing out the hypocrisy of all white writers but twitter does not have space to talk about things#also love that The Church on Ruby Road has Mark Tonderai who became the first black director w The Ghost Monument. I love his directing#but that's the Christmas special. it is not part of this season. and honestly fr it's not close to enough#love the inclusivity in front of the camera. lets get some of that in the writing team NOW. it's hurting for it.#bring back Charlene James. can you hear me? was the best episode of Season 12.#the ep felt like a commentary on the “RIP Doctor Who” ppl under every official Doctor Who post? hence social media?#it does work best that way!! it just felt a little off of that way in rtd talking#idk im rambling. I did enjoy it tho. I just wish. but well.
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suddencolds · 2 months
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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crescentfool · 2 months
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🍊🫐 throughout time!
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cerealbishh · 4 months
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"You okay?"
"Mhm."
"Good, now go get ready and wish for the best."
#outer range s2#outer range s2 spoilers#outer range 02x03#maria olivares#rhett abbott#isabel arraiza#lewis pullman#pls not him taking her hand and both of them smiling about it#i think her saying that rebecca being with amy is one less mystery to worry about was her being concerned about what's bothering him#like she's not going to pry this time if he doesn't want to confide in her about it#but she wants to give him the opportunity to talk to her about it if he wants to thus the ''are you okay?''#and i'm glad he feels comfortable enough to talk to her about some family matters#also them asking each other if the other is okay is everything to me#idk if it's just me but rhett looks pretty cautious but also protective of her in the second gif?#i love that she decided to speak up because it bothers her that rhett might be hurting#and to me it looked like he was also proud of her for speaking up#rip her putting her hand on his arm before she said ''have a good night'' made me sad#i would be hurt if my loved one felt like they would be shut down if they were to speak in front of my family#i get that they don't like her but why invite her at all?#he really felt better after holding her hand#also his little smile after she says going to court wouldn't be a great idea was kinda cute#i'm only slowing down because i'm stuck watching their happier scenes because i'm SCARED#i just know he wanted to stay in that bed with her... i mean i would#geez he really gets to wake up to that... lucky man#i love her tiniest smile after his after she said meeting his parents again at court would be a bad idea#just the softest ''morning'' ever#idk but when she started with ''i'm sorry'' i felt like he was gonna tell her not to apologize or something#i wanted to see him run after her and ask if she was okay tbh#his chair really was pointed toward hers... he's such a LOSER#i think she put her other hand over his when he held her hand...
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gumm1defloor · 5 months
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Personally speaking if I had to pick one rairpair out of the entire hellaverse to become canon it would be Velvette x Verosica but man it is going to be the most lavish, fluffy, intensely intimate, passionate, rancid & disastrous 24/7 trending full blown shitstorm hell has ever seen I don't think anyone is going to be ready. Not even these two. Dear god especially not these two.
Man Verosica is just 2 for 1 on short gremlin kings who are also coincidentally emotionally constipated walking talking sacks of untreated mental illnesses wrapped up in 3 layers of intimacy issues isn't she but hey at least this one's pretty much guaranteed never to steal your credit card for horse riding lessons and most definitely won't be caught one ring down in wrath in the middle of fuck knows where with said credit card so.... yay improvement?
#and unlike the last one - they don't talk about the last one -#She likes how effortlessly confident Velvette is with everything she works with and how little she has to worry about their relationship#when she's around her#ofc the gradual loss of autonomy and general sense of self is a whole other thing and she definitely doesn't need to think about it ever-#-cause her stunningly hot drop-dead gorgeous filthy rich and famous girlfriend just designed her 10 new fashion lines for her new tour-#-without her even asking-#-and they're gonna live stream the best date she's ever going to have in the fanciest restaurant the pride rings has to offer.#she's never felt this adored & safe & content in satin knows how long she is getting herself trashed every other saturday and STILL#manages to look flawless for every magazine by morning#& Velvette tells her they look so hot together every time they take a selfie as she pulls her waist & face & hair & neck into her side#like she's ready to swallow her whole#they spoil each other with gifts & praises and shit talking ppl behind their back#and absolutely nothing between them ever went wrong#hazbin hotel shitposts#helluva boss#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel velvette#I remember having a headcannon that Velvette sends every single girl/boyfriend(toy) she has ever had to Valentino after she dumps them.#sometimes she'll even throw in a personal recommendation#Velvette is dead quiet about the breakup this time around#Valentino - for once in his life- knows better to ask#Verosika never came to pentegram city to do live shows since#angst#I suppose#which is probably all my 2 neurons are good for past 9 pm
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naenaex0xx · 5 months
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maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone
#like how my day is? or what dumb stuff im doing lol#my “safe space” where i got to meet people somehow (and theyre very cool :3c)#well. im happy if i get to do it now#cmon nae! sympathy points wont do you any good !!#okay so. tumblr gets to be my little planner too cause i get to write things in the momoment#so im writing things im proud of!#brushed my teeth for more than two mins today#n i actually washed a lil! its embarrassing writing this here because i dont want anyone thinking im dirty.... since its gross#but anyways.. im getting better at putting my phone down at night!#that means fixing my sleep right? i just have to sort out the mornings since i lose track of time#and struggle to leave bed (its too comfyyyy >.<)#and oh. i want to start going on walks..#itll be hard since the house is getting done n stuff but. anytine if the day. i feel like taking walks woukd be better for me#just to keave the house. my eyes always hurts when i steo outside#n thats not good :<#those are my goals for now. i do wanna get closer to my friends. and actually make friends!#ive had no friendships for nearly a year at college lol#its just been 'oh well' but i have actually felt lonely... oh well-#i guess i wanna get closer to people?#and.. talk to ny old friends too#i feel to guilty#im not good with this stuff. it drains me#but anyways. baby steps right? who knows#maybe ill make a friend on the trip! or next year too! that sounds good#ik nobody'll probably read this cause its word vomit lol#but basically yay yippee im feelin kinds alright#<333#posts.nae/rambles
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mariemariemaria · 2 months
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i feel kinda crazy bc whenever i was a teenager i created this sorta imaginary older big sister who had moved out of the house so in my head i could live w her whenever i wanted bc she had survived it all and was independent and she would also just comfort me in a big sisterly way whenever something bad or upsetting happened and recently ive been going back to that at my big age 😭 and its kinda sad and also just wish fulfillment and also kinda scary bc i really used to think that by my age i'd have everything sorted but i really don't and i know that's normal and nobodies twenties are perfect but some people also have good relationships w their fathers which is crazy just to think about sooo
#is this readable? i hope not ❤️#i typed up some of my feelings about this in a word doc and just realised like damn i basically have an imaginary friend as an adult#i really am crazy lol#i just feel lonely within my family atm. bc my brother is younger than me so he could never really do anything to help#and i feel like i cant really trust my mam the same anymore..even tho i still love her a lot#and i'm trying to improve my relationship w my dad bc im realising what a hard life he had and that he's not like an irredeemable Bad Perso#and sometimes he'll look at me a certain way or apologise for something small that he would never have apologised for a couple of years ago#and i feel like im going crazy like is he becoming a better person or..? and i feel bad bc im not really doing the same#or maybe i am. sometimes i think im unfair to him considering how he is now but i also cant really reconcile what he is now w/ how he#was then. and then he'll suddenly say something to me in a certain tone of voice or with a certain sharpness and i'll go back to how a felt#as a teenager :/ i rlly dont know what to do about it but i think its because i dont really have anyone to talk to about it#i mean i sort of do. but i also dont actually know how much of it actually happened and how much of it i just made up#but having worked w teenagers yeah they can be little shits but i also cant imagine treating any of them the way my dad treated me#just bc theyre annoying or have an attitude or are a little mean or whatever#like theres actually a lot of ppl i could talk to but also how do you even bring something like this up#how do i say 'oh and i invented an older sister as a coping mechanism and sometimes i still talk to her in my head' without sounding crazy#its 2am here i need to go to bed i have work in the morning 😭 day and night and next day ruined bc my dad spoke to me slightly funny
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le-velo-pour-dru · 10 months
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GLOOMTOWN BRATS TOMORROW GUYS HOW ARE WE FEELING :D 💖
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aturnoftheearth · 1 year
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every time i get like 4 hours of sleep my first thought is omg just like dean supernatural and my second thought is dude if cas had wrapped him up in a blanket like a little rescued sewer kitten and told him to get an uninterrupted 9 hours divorce arc wouldn’t have happened
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lvllns · 11 months
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prefacing this with i am okay and doing better now, but do you know what isn’t fun? fainting in the shower.
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sailor-aviator · 6 months
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Lovely, I am completely and utterly honest when I say you have accomplished so much in so little time, I am in awe. You are so creative and you have blessed us with so many amazing concepts and stories, that I can barely keep count, because you are just so incredibly quick and amazing! AND you do all that on top of having to work all day and having so many responsibilities!! It's nothing short of incredible! You better believe me when I say that. Not to mention, that as far as I know, your friends here and the people following your work absolutely adore you. I know it may be different in real life, but the fact that you are the sweetest ever is most certainly not different! You deserve a break, a time to catch your breath, to take care of yourself - you deserve it. You deserve to take your time. There is no rush. Don't put pressure on yourself. Take a deep breath. You are so loved, no matter what you decide to do.
This was very much needed today, Nonny, thank you. It’s truly just been such a weird week, and the energy has been so off which I think has been part of the problem.
I just feel like I’ve been dropping the ball lately when it comes to original and substantial ideas. Like, I love my collections, but I miss having whole ass ideas for a series, and I feel like my next big one is coming, I can feel it sitting there in my brain, but it just won’t come out, and it’s SO frustrating.
Life outside of Tumblr has been kicking my ass a little bit recently too, and a few of you on here know what’s going on, but I hope that things get better soon and I’m able to just take a breath and just…be.
Sometimes it does feel like there’s pressure to constantly update and put something out, and part of that is my own fault (Virgo problems). I want to make sure you guys stay interested and fed with content, but again, recently it feels like I haven’t had a substantial idea in a while that I’m happy with.
Like, as much as I want to make the Indiana Jones!AU a series, I just don’t know if I have the time or resources to do it justice like that, so it might have to be turned into a collection. And I’d rather give you that than scrap it entirely because I know people are excited for it, and I love the idea!
I’m just sitting here waiting for my next big idea to pop into my brain, and I have a couple that I think might be fun, but I’m not…certain on them yet.
Anyway, I just need a little longer with my pity party, and then I’ll be good! Promise!! 💛
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cherrygummybears · 6 months
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hello gamers
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mainfaggot · 7 months
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today I put on a different mask and it felt better than the usual
#meaning: today i melted into my outfit and decided to change my personality in small ways to fit how i dressed myself#im wearing something very . hm. well it's black and plaid and stripes and it's way more cohesive than it sounds#a broad shouldered oversized black button up with grey plaid slim fit slacks#black platform boots and a black tie w white and grey stripes#one silver hoop earring a bunch of black and silver rings and slicked back hair#this all matters Because depending on what im wearing my mood changes a little. so do my mannerisms. for the better or the worse#i assume this is pretty normal (otherwise why do ppl dress up to feel fancy or dress down when they already feel sluggish..?)#but anyway i was less of a people pleaser today!#LOL#i drew a line. i told someone no nicely but clearly.#i asked someone else to hang out next week and i didn't act unsure of myself even if i felt that way inside#i spoke up in class as usual but without adding my infamous “.... if that makes any sense?” at the end#i made a mistake and got corrected and i accepted it cooly with a grin and a nod#i felt scared the whole time but to concluded: i quite like this version of the mask#sure it's not all true to how i feel#but it actually helps instead of feeling fake and exhausting#the mask that i wear to make people like me is also untrue but it hurts me way more#this sounds corny ugh WHATEVER.#the one thing i didn't like however was that. i noticed that i kept a straight face most of the morning so far and it kinda made my mood#worsen?#like not allowing myself to loom surprised when i feel surprised or look worried when i am or smile when i see something silly? that#feels bad#i dont like being so guarded#but i also hate when my facial expressions are obvious. like yesterday#i cant seem to find a middle ground because they both make me feel uncomfortable in different ways#z.post
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toytulini · 5 months
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god that "morning people are an oppressive class" post annoys me in some way i cant. quite. ugh
#toy txt post#it doesnt feel quite right to me...........#maybe im just a Morning Person. lol. lmao even#idk how much that is true vs in high school i felt very much like a morning person bc#i was taking my adderall with coffee and then it would all wear off right at the end of the day and id crash soooo hard and have like.#anxiety attacks every night and just be generally overstimulated and irritable as hell#which is mostly managed now by me trying to be smarter about caffeine consumption (amount + when) and on a lower dose of adderall#but it does feel like a lot of that shit mentioned would be adequately covered by like. being able to take time off work to go to the#doctor etc. idk#im half joking these days when i ID as a morning person but legally none of you are allowed to get up my ass about it🔪#bc of the nocturnal bullshit i pulled on second shift for like 3yrs after everything around me decided to start closing early after the#pandemic hit even tho theyve re lifted every other miniscule precaution they ever enforced#probably bc no one wants to work night shift at the grocery store for like 12$ an hour. fucking offer better pay idiots#god even when i was a package handler working the super inconvenient hours of 3am-like. 9. 10am(inconvenient my ass that was ideal hours.)#the main reasons ppl left for other jobs: hours suck and they got offered better pay. they cant adjust the hours. so they shouldve#increased the pay to retain. and maybe have more structured start and end times that were less up in the air#like all the drivers leave at 9am so if theres anything left on the truck thatll be for tomorrow. since that fuckin happened anyway. idk.#honestly wouldve been more important to me to have consistent start times cos thats one of the things that pissed me off about that job was#like youd go in and before you left youd have to ask what the start time would be tomorrow cos they kept jumping all over the place by like#15min increments and like its once thing to do it on occasion to try to deal with like Bad Weather but it was like fucking Daily#and sometimes theyd write it on the little whiteboard. but sometimes they wouldnt. and sometimes theyd write it on the little whiteboard#and leave it up there forget to erase it and it would still be there but they told you as you walked out actually its not 4:30 tmrrw its 3#idk. i know the main real reason i miss it is cause it was part time and the day ended at like 9am usually
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good morning!!! <3
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outeremissary · 2 years
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Just the art from this prompt post.
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